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promethes · 4 years

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how an idiot like me got into good schools

A quick run-through of my academic history and how I got into good colleges will be below the cut! I’m also including a list of some of the schools I got into for reference. I apologize in advance for how messy this is, but my memory is shitty and I remember random things that I keep throwing in lol. (and for people congratulating me, thank you very much, but I got into all these schools last year lol! so keep in mind I graduated high school in 2019)

If all you came for are the basic stats and you don't want my rambling: I went to a public school GPA: around 4.4 on 4.0 scale (3.9 unweighted) SAT: 1520/1600 APs: 10 (4 3s, 2 4s, 4 5s) Extracurricular: mainly NHS (around 300 volunteering hours), StuCo, Varsity Golf, and Quiz Bowl

EDIT: comments made by the readers who reviewed my application are available here!

First off, I am not an einstein! I am blessed that I pick up on stuff easily and gifted in academics, but I’m nowhere near a genius. For a little backstory, I went to a public school in Michigan for the entirety of my pre-k - 12 education. When I was in the third grade, the district introduced an accelerated program. We took a quasi IQ test and if we tested high enough (I think the threshold was 80%? If I remember correctly I got a 97) we were put in a class that was 2 years ahead in English and Math. We stayed grouped together for the rest of our public schooling, basically a core group of around 20 people. Since we were the first year of the program and our grade was exceptionally gifted for some weird reason, it was a very high achieving group of students, so I’m going to include their stats along with mine for comparison because colleges also factor in your peers when they look at your stats.

I’ll start off with basic stats:

I got a 1520 on the SAT. My grade had around 5 - 10 people achieve over 1500. Some of them had been studying for years, while others (me) did not know that the SAT existed until that year and couldn’t afford any private tutoring and had no patience for the study books from the library. I’m lucky to have an aptitude for the skills they were testing. I did not take any SAT subject tests.

For GPA, I think I ended up with around a 4.4 on a 4.0 scale. I was around 15/350 when it came to class standing, so I was far from the valedictorian. I think our valedictorians got around a 4.6 or 4.7.

I took 10 AP tests. I got a 3 in APUSH, World History, Language and Comp (I fell asleep lol), and Chem (I will get into this class a little later). I got a 4 in Literature (I fell asleep. Again.) and in Psychology. I got a 5 in Calc AB & BC, Comp Sci Principles, and Environmental Science.

AP classes were really pushed in my high school, especially onto my grade, and I don’t like being told what to do lol so I pushed back and took fewer AP classes than most of my peers (valedictorians ended up with maybe 15? It’s crazy) and basically only took classes I was interested in or that I had to take because I had exhausted the rest of the curriculum.

I also dual-enrolled in 2 classes at the local community college since I’d exhausted the curriculum at my high school for things I wanted to do (english and comp sci). I want to make it clear that I never sat down and planned how I was going to maximize my schedule or how I’d take the most advanced classes, I just fell into it since we had already essentially skipped two grades. Most people didn’t dual enroll since they wanted the AP GPA boost.

For extracurriculars, I mainly focused on Quiz Bowl, Golf, NHS (volunteered around 350 hours in 3 years I think) and Student Government. I never had any leadership positions and just kind of fucked around most of the time. Most of my peers held several leadership positions throughout the years and did like a bazillion things. 5 of them even traveled to Europe for some science research thing where they presented their research. I was not that big of a nerd.

In junior year, I stumbled on something called Questbridge and decided to apply because I wanted the money for the scholarship. I became a Questbridge college prep scholar, which then led me to apply for the National College Match. I didn’t rank any binding schools so I didn’t match, but I did apply to several schools with their application. If you are a low-income high achieving student, I highly recommend looking them up. I was the first person in my school to do this program and encouraged my peers to do it too. I think 4 of us were Questbridge scholars.

As you can see, I had good numbers, which probably got me past the first wave of application look throughs. However, I’m fairly confident that what made me stand out was my essays. I always stress this to whoever asks me for advice: do not write a perfect essay, write YOUR essay. I can only imagine how bored those poor people are of reading about someone winning a soccer game or a spelling bee. Add some pizzazz in there. Talk about your flaws and your mistakes and your unique life experiences!

For example, my personal essay wasn’t even in essay format! I wrote it like journal entries, focusing on my sophomore year when my life was Extra Tumultuous and I was going through homelessness. I did not say I was homeless once in the essay. I just did day by day entries of what my life was like during that time and through that the readers were able to see that I loved to read, that I am fiercely protective of my single-parent family, and they saw how I handled adversity. I want to stress that I’m not encouraging poverty porn at all. I did not write it to make the reader feel bad. I simply relayed what I thought about in a day, focusing on both big and small.

I also wrote about funny things related to academics, partly to explain my transcript and partly to be funny. This is the AP Chem thing. I actually dropped out of it after one term (so about a third of the way through) so I could dual enroll in a class I was interested in instead. My chem teacher HATED that since I was good at chemistry (hate it. Hate that subject so much) and tried to convince me to stay. One of the things he said was “You’ll never be ready for college if you don’t take this class! You wouldn’t even be able to pass the AP test!” so I said bet. dropped the class and signed up for the AP test that same day and showed up almost every day for the rest of the year and dicked around the entire class, taking naps in the back of the lab, sitting on his desk, cracking jokes about whatever he was teaching. I got a 3 on that exam purely out of spite with only half the information I needed. So write about stuff like that. It’s fun.

The fact that I had no guidance in writing the essays was actually really good for me since I just kind of let loose. My UChicago essay read like I was on crack, and they loved it so much that they literally mentioned it during the welcome speech for their little college visit in April.

And don’t sweat over the small stuff! The short answers don’t have to be perfect and mind-blowing, just answer honestly. For the “why Yale” supplemental essay I just ranted about how beautiful their library is for a good 300 words (at some point I said I needed my inhaler because it was that breathtaking. I made a Yale admissions officer read that.) I ranted about Howl’s Moving Castle to Columbia. I told them my favorite magazine was the American Girl ones for their arts and crafts! I have a friend at Columbia who literally sent them a picture of her in a duck costume as a supplement. They loved it. So don’t lose your mind trying to sound worldly and educated. You’re like. 17. Just answer honestly and don’t think too hard about it.

I was also extremely lucky to have a dedicated counselor who sat down for hours with each individual student to write fantastic letters of recommendation. She really made it clear what I had achieved and what challenges I’d faced.

So. tl;dr: I got lucky. Unless your parents donated a couple billion to the school, there are no guarantees. Sometimes you can have the stats and perfect essays and amazing extracurriculars and you can still get rejected because they don’t think you’re a good fit with the school compared to the rest of the applicants. There’s limited space in the student body. I got into schools my valedictorians didn’t get into even though I was academically less than them in every possible way. So let yourself shine through your essays and know you’ll end up in an environment that values the person they saw in those essays.

I got into a lot of schools, and don’t really have a record of all of them, but here are some of the top ones I can remember off the top of my head:

Yale, Columbia, University of Chicago (likely letter), Northwestern, University of Michigan, Northeastern, CWRU, UNC Chapel Hill, and a couple other schools here and there that slip my mind at the moment.

#og #college #college masterpost #abt me

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woyinggaijiaoshenme · 3 years

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orbemnews · 3 years

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It’s Not a Bird or a Plane. It’s a Rocket Ship Roaring in the Backyard. BOCA CHICA, Texas — The text arrived late at night: For your own safety, leave home by morning, it read. Nancy and James Crawford, no longer surprised but still unsettled, raced away in their S.U.V. after sunrise, occasionally twisting their necks to catch a glimpse of the space rocket towering behind them. Moments later, the Crawfords, who are in their 70s, watched from a 12th-floor balcony on South Padre Island, a few miles up the coast, as the rocket shattered on impact during an attempted landing, spreading fiery debris along the sand dunes and tidal flats. The building shook, Mr. Crawford recalled, and in the distance, there was “a ball of fire.” “It was exciting,” echoed his wife, “but too dangerous if we had stayed home.” Home for the Crawfords is a remote coastal community a stone’s throw from Mexico, a village so small that water has to be trucked in. With a single road in that ends at the shoreline, it has long attracted people eager to escape congested cities, and retirees eager to escape the harsh winters of the North and Midwest. From the community tucked among lush wetlands, wildlife refuges and sandy beaches, the nearest supermarket is about 20 miles away, past long stretches of gravel roads and a Border Patrol checkpoint. Until a few years ago, the handful of residents could not have imagined that rockets designed for interplanetary travel would be as much a part of their view as the Rio Grande. But ever since the billionaire Elon Musk brought his private space company, SpaceX, to the area, life has not been the same. A gargantuan gray rocket, surrounded by chain-link fencing less than a mile from the ranch-style brick homes, is a constant reminder that the Crawfords and their remaining neighbors live near a space launching pad. SpaceX representatives usually give the 10 or so residents plenty of warning that a rocket is scheduled for launching. Other times, loud sirens warn them, and some, like the Crawfords, choose to put on heavy-duty headphones to block some of the noise. When a rocket engine is tested, the roar and trembling are so powerful that they can blow windows inward. Humans are not the only species who cower. The earsplitting sound of rockets shrieking above the tidal flats has caused some, such as shorebirds, to flee in terror or to stop nesting in the area altogether. And heavy machinery brought in to retrieve whatever debris has scattered often damages the road and scares away other wildlife, environmentalists said. While the Federal Aviation Administration has given SpaceX environmental clearance for the tests, environmentalists worry that recent explosions could have a lasting effect on the ecologically rich area, home to a number of endangered species, like ocelots and Kemp’s ridley sea turtles. “When you’re testing brand-new technology and brand-new rockets, brand-new engines, stuff like that happens,” said Jim Chapman, president of Friends of the Wildlife Corridor, a nonprofit group with a mission to protect the native habitats of the Rio Grande Valley. “Well, our feeling is, that shouldn’t be happening here.” But the story of how SpaceX came to Boca Chica, about 22 miles from Brownsville, Texas, begins with a promise of a much-needed economic boost to one of the poorest regions in the country. For decades, Brownsville and the broader Rio Grande Valley have struggled with a lack of opportunities and a brain drain, with many college graduates opting to leave for careers elsewhere. Before SpaceX became entrenched in Brownsville’s consciousness, the local economy had relied heavily on jobs with the government, schools, health care and some low-paying retail stores, officials said. Representatives for SpaceX, which is investing a fortune in its quest to send people to Mars, did not respond to a request for comment. But officials of Cameron County, which includes Boca Chica, said the company had infused hope and optimism into the region. When the company announced plans to move to the area in 2014, it promised to create about 500 local jobs, said Eddie Treviño Jr., the Cameron County judge, the county’s top elected official. But as of late last year, he said, the actual figure was more than triple that, with more than 1,600 jobs in construction, clerical and other fields, most of them given to local residents, he said. The benefits to the Brownsville area, where according to the U.S. Census Bureau at least 30 percent of the population lives in poverty, will eventually outweigh whatever tension and disruptions the company has brought, Mr. Treviño said. “We have to balance the good with the bad,” he said. Won’t You Be My Neighbor? The search for the ideal SpaceX launching pad began more than 10 years ago. Sites were considered in other states, including Georgia, California and Alaska, but engineers needed a mostly desolate area close to the ocean. Boca Chica, a retirement community with only a few year-round residents, fit the bill. After SpaceX signed a deal to set up operations near the village, the testing of rockets that would one day reach outer space began a few years later in earnest, Mr. Treviño said. The company has taken a fail-fast, fix-fast approach, which essentially means that engineers use the tests to identify shortcomings in the design and then make adjustments before the next test. Over the past year, those who still live in the community have had to flee before every launch. Four rockets have exploded, spreading debris across the area. (The most recent test, this month, did not result in an explosion, and an elated Mr. Musk took to Twitter to celebrate the milestone: “Starship landing nominal!”) This was not the Crawfords’ idea of a peaceful retirement. Both worked in government jobs in Michigan, him in law enforcement and her with a deeds department. And though they still spend their summers in Michigan, they bought their home in Boca Chica 10 years ago in search of nature and some quiet. Then came the knocks on their door, and on the doors of their neighbors. SpaceX wanted their homes. Representatives with the space giant had appraised the Crawfords’ single-story, three-bedroom brick house at $50,000 and was willing to pay “three times” that, they were told. The Crawfords dismissed what they considered to be a paltry offer from one of the richest men in the world. “We can’t buy a new house with that money,” Mr. Crawford said with a chuckle. Last October, the offers finally stopped. “We are pretty certain that we will be able to remain in our home,” Ms. Crawford said with a sigh of relief. But many of their neighbors, who like them once found Boca Chica the perfect winter oasis, took the checks and left. And one by one, the ranch homes have been replaced by modern white houses with solar-powered rooftops, the occupants younger space professionals who work for SpaceX, local residents said. “You can tell which homes are SpaceX because they are the ones that look the same, a stale white and black,” said Rosemary Workman, 72, who spends most of the year in Boca Chica and has turned down offers to sell her home. One of her new neighbors has stood out. Mr. Musk has been spotted staying in an unassuming ranch-style house. Ms. Workman and her neighbors sometimes see him taking a stroll with two men they assume are part of his security detail. “He doesn’t really make an effort to say hi or get to know us,” said Jim Workman, 75, who lives across the street from the billionaire. The feeling, he admitted, is mutual. He pointed to a flag on his front porch that reads “Come and Take It” below the image of a cannon, the flag fashioned for the Texas Revolution and long a symbol of defiance in the state. “I think he gets the message,” Mr. Workman said. Fuera SpaceX Concerns over SpaceX extend beyond Boca Chica. In downtown Brownsville, Elias Cantu, an activist with the League of United Latin American Citizens, or LULAC, the oldest Mexican-American civil rights organization in the country, stood beside a mural of Mr. Musk that read “Boca Chica to Mars” and shrugged. He said he feared it would be only a matter of time before Boca Chica’s extreme redevelopment found itself encroaching into Brownsville’s poorest neighborhoods. “It’s inevitable,” Mr. Cantu said. “He’ll need homes to house all the people he wants to bring down here. I’m afraid he’s going to push out a lot of low-income families who have lived here for generations.” Xandra Treviño, a member of Fuera SpaceX, an organization pushing back on SpaceX’s rapid expansion (its name translates as Leave SpaceX), said she and many other activists felt ignored by area policymakers. “I feel like people believe that SpaceX is going to be good for the community, when in fact, they are too large to control, too large to hold accountable,” Ms. Treviño said. “Local officials are only seeing money signs. Local officials are star struck.” But area officials said they could not turn away millions of dollars in local investments and the promise of high-paying jobs in a region that for decades has been starved for investment. In the “build it and they will come” philosophy, the space giant has already attracted other employers to the region. Space Channel, an entertainment network devoted to covering space, recently announced that it would move part of its operations from Los Angeles to Brownsville, including six executives, with local positions to follow. Other companies are likely to do the same, said Rose Gowen, who sits on the city commission. “One of the very important things for me to support, and us to support, is growing the wealth,” said Ms. Gowen. Mr. Musk seems to agree. He recently announced on Twitter that he planned to donate $30 million for city revitalization projects and schools. The mayor of Brownsville, Trey Mendez, did not respond to a request for an interview. But in a statement, he said he supported money coming in. “We look forward to a discussion about how this could help our community prosper as we take a front seat to the next chapter of space exploration and innovation,” he said. But that growth is no consolation for the holdout residents of Boca Chica. The Crawfords like to sit in their backyard and admire the several species of birds looking for respite, or the delightful sightings of those migrating. But reminders that they live near a launchpad are never far away. Every now and then, loud sirens startle them, signaling that the testing of rocket engines is about to begin. Or they receive a text asking them to leave their home, a cue that a launch is imminent. When a local sheriff’s vehicle drives by with its sirens on, the Crawfords know they are supposed to run to the street or at least leave their home. They know their windows could shatter. But the last time they heard the siren, on one afternoon this spring, the couple looked at each other and shrugged. “We grew tired of running out,” Ms. Crawford said. This is life near SpaceX, after all. Source link Orbem News #backyard #Bird #plane #roaring #rocket #ship

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shippings-galore · 7 years

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CEO of His Dreams (Sterek CEO AU) ((will be posted on AO3 later today or tomorrow)

Hale Industry was one of the biggest architectural company in the world. They have built impressive skyscrapers in different countries, and have many headquarters in different US embassies, but the main headquarter was located in the center of Beacon Hills.They have donated millions of dollars to many charities and have helped promote the idea of environmentally friendly materials and power.

Hale Industries was owned by one of the most attractive men in the entire world, Derek Hale. And yeah maybe Stiles was exaggerating it a little bit, but Derek was the most attractive man he had seen so far. Derek had already won the Sexiest Man Alive in People’s magazine four times in. A. Row.

Dark hair, breathtaking kaleidoscope eyes, perfect stubble, nice smile, sweet and caring personality, a giant fluffy puppy, heart of gold, dimples, bunny teeth, and way out of Stiles’s league. There was no way in all the world that Derek would be in to a geeky lanky man that was 147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bone. And before you ask, no Stiles was not a gold digger. Never ever would he take advantage. He was raised by the greatest parents ever. Derek could have 2 cents to his name, and Stiles would still fall madly in love with him.

Stiles sighed and drummed his pen on his desk with one hand and pushed up his glasses with the other. He stared at his computer screen with tired eyes before taking a long drink from his huge steaming cup of coffee.

“What’s that? Your seventh cup of coffee?” Scott asked from his desk beside Stiles.

“Yes. I stayed up all night typing up this report.” Stiles pointed to the screen.

“Stiles… You need to rest. With work here, the job at Deaton’s, and helping your dad at the station, you barely get enough sleep.” Scott shook his head.

“Well someone has to keep the bills paid.” Stiles snapped.

“You’re dad told you it was better if you lived with him so that you wouldn’t worry about bills when you lived by yourself.” Scott reminded him.

“Yeah well I’m 25. I’m not going to keep living with my dad.” Stiles rolled his eyes.

“Alright. Whatever you say Sti-ohmygod.” Scott hissed and spun back around to face his computer.

“Aw thanks Scotty. I do think I am a god. Scott. You can’t ignore me. I will throw a pencil at your head.” Stiles threatened.

“Stiles. Look who’s coming.” Scott whispered.

Stiles rolled his eyes and sighed before turning around. His breath caught in his throat, and his heart began to beat a thousand miles per hour. Derek fucking Hale. The CEO of Hale Industries. The Sexiest Man Alive. The man of Stiles’s dreams. Was walking right towards him.

WAIT.

Derek was walking straight towards him.

Oh my god.

Stiles let out a quiet squeak and turned to his computer as subtly as he could. From in front of his desk, Lydia Martin snorted at the failed attempt. Stiles gulped and quickly hit print on the computer and grabbed his coffee and took a long drink, completely draining it.

“Mr. Stilinski.” Derek said.

“It wasn’t me! Scott did it!” Stiles yelped and pointed to his best friend, who cried out and spun around.

“Excuse me?” Scott glared.

Stiles laughed nervously and threw an apologetic glance at his friend.

“I’m sorry I just did that. Force of habit. What can I do for you, Mr. Hale?” Stiles asked surprisingly calm.

“It’s fine. I came here to tell you that I’d like for you to be my personal assistant.” Derek smiled softly.

Stiles gaped for a good five seconds before Lydia cleared her throat, snapping him out of his shocked stage.

“Yes of course. When do I start?” Stiles asked.

“Is tomorrow good for you? You can start moving your stuff to my office today?” Derek suggested.

“Tomorrow is perfect. I’ll just turn this report in and get right to packing up my stuff.” Stiles smiled brightly.

“Let me.” Derek said and took the report from Stiles’s copy machine and stapled it, “Mr. McCall could help you move your stuff?”

“Oh he was going to anyway.” Stiles smirked and looked over at Scott.

“Good to know you have friends you can count on.” Derek smiled, “I’ll see you later. Do you want anything for lunch? I’m heading to the sandwich shop around the corner.”

“Oh no, Mr. Hale, I-”

“Derek. Call me Derek, unless we are somewhere where we have to be professional. And don’t worry about it. I want to get you some lunch.” Derek reassured.

“Oh… Okay… I’ll have a BLT if that’s okay. And you can call me Stiles.” Stiles responded with a sheepish smile.

“Alright, Stiles, I’ll get you a coke too. Unless you hate that soda.” Derek arched a brow.

“Coke is fine.” Stiles said.

“Okay. I’ll drop this off and get lunch. See you later.” Derek waved as he walked back to the elevators.

Scott whistled and patted Stiles on the shoulder, “Stiles, you just got promoted.”

Stiles let out a noise and hugged his best friend.

“Stiles. Don’t cry.” Scott sighed.

“I can’t help it. Scott, I’m Derek Hale’s personal assistant. I quit Deaton’s. And I think my dad said something about a new couple recruits so I don’t have to work there either. I get to spend time with Derek, Scotty. The man of my dreams.” Stiles whispered.

“Let’s get stuff packed up. I’m pretty sure half of Beacon Hills already knows since Lydia is smirking at her phone.” Scott sighed and went to get a box.

~~~~~~~

“Derek, really I don’t need this place.” Stiles said for the tenth time in the span of 15 minutes, “I’m fine where I live.”

Stiles had spent a week as Derek’s personal assistant, and it had been the best of Stiles’s life. Between planning meetings, answering calls, making sure they were on budget, and reviewing presentations with Derek, they had actually become fairly close. They would go out for lunch a few times a week, and would even go out for dinner when they were stuck in the office late.

Spending time with Derek was the best that Stiles could ever ask for. One thing he learned about his boss was that he was extremely giving and provided anything for his friends. Like currently, Derek was showing him around an apartment that he wanted to buy for Stiles.

“Stiles, your apartment complex is unacceptable. The landlord doesn’t care about the problems in the building but charges too high for an apartment so… disgusting. I’m thinking about filing a lawsuit and buying that place because the people in there don’t deserve to live in a place like that.” Derek growled and glared at the floor.

“Okay. Wow. I appreciate the fact that you care about the people who live there, but I don’t need an apartment like this. It’s just too much. And it makes me feel bad because you’re paying for it.” Stiles confessed as he scratched the back of his head.

“Stiles, I want to pay for this. Let me do this for you. Please?” Derek said as he looked in to Stiles’s eyes.

“Derek…” Stiles whined.

“Come on, let me do this, Stiles.” Derek begged.

Stiles pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed before nodding.

“Good. Now come on, let me show you your bedroom. I’ll help you move in tomorrow, and even make a small party. Invite who you want.” Derek grinned and pulled Stiles to the bedroom.

Stiles felt his skin tingle where Derek was holding his wrist, and took in a deep breath to calm his nerves.

~~~~~~~

“Derek.” Stiles sighed.

“Stiles.” Derek arched a brow.

“I’ll be fine with the suits off the rack.” Stiles pointed to the suits in the store.

“I’d prefer that you accept what I’m giving you.” Derek said.

“This is just too much, Derek. You already bought me a new apartment and now you want to pay for custom suits that cost hundreds of dollars?” Stiles pointed out.

“I want you well taken care of. Plus this is the best way to get suits. Come on, James is waiting to get your measurements.” Derek smiled and waved to a small old man.

~~~~~~~

“I never knew this was how it felt to fly in a private jet.” Stiles sighed as he ate some warm nuts and delicious cheeses from the plate in front of him.

Stiles has been working as Derek’s PA for a month now. They’ve been to New York, Seattle, and Nashville, all on commercial flights. Hale Industries only used the private jet for international travel.

“Do you want a coffee? We have different types of coffee drinks both warm and hot.” Derek offered.

“Coffee?” Stiles perked up and turned to look at Derek with wide eyes.

“Yep.” Derek stood up and stood up from his seat, “We have regular coffee too. Want a cup?”

“Duh, of course I want a cup!” Stiles exclaimed and popped a piece of dill cheese in his mouth.

“Thought so, I don’t even know why I asked.” Derek rolled his eyes fondly.

And hour later, they landed at the airport and were on their way to the apartment suite they would spend in their five day business trip in Tokyo. Stiles’s eyes were comically wide and his mouth was agape as they rode the streets of the bright city.

He couldn’t believe how amazing the city was, and he half expected for Godzilla to appear and destroy it. He chuckled to himself and pressed his face closer to the window as they passed a beautiful antique building. Tokyo was beautiful, and it reminded Stiles of the business trip to New York.

They made it to their building and carried their things inside. A beautiful asian woman stood there with a card to their suite, a map of Tokyo, and a list of high end restaurants in the city. Derek thanked her and took the things before leading them to the elevators, Stiles a little behind as he gaped at the interior of the lobby.

“This place is so pretty. And this building is so high end. I feel so out of place.” Stiles said sheepishly and glanced down at his jeans and t-shirt.

“You look fine.” Derek reassured the younger man, though Stiles eyed his black button down shirt and dark jeans, “I think I’m going to take you to my favorite restaurant for dinner tomorrow. Best ramen I’ve had here.”

“Oh okay.” Stiles nodded and calmed the butterflies in his stomach.

They got to their suite, and Derek let Stiles in first.

“Such a gentleman.” Stiles teased as he walked in, “Woah. Oh my. You can see everything.” He whispered.

“Like it?” Derek asked, his voice surprisingly seemed to sound nervous.

“This is amazing. Oh my god… Der, how much did you pay for this room?” Stiles turned to look at Derek with pursed lips.

“Not too much.” Derek flushed.

“How much?” Stiles continued and crossed his arms on top of his chest, his eyebrow arched.

“Heh. We got a discount so we only paid, in total, $75,000 US dollars.” Derek replied and stared at the ground sheepishly.

“What?” Stiles gasped and took a step back.

“I wanted you to have a great experience in Tokyo since it’s your first time here.” Derek shrugged.

“Derek, sit down.” Stiles ordered and pointed to the soft looking couch.

The CEO did as he was told and sat down, just as Stiles sat beside him.

“Why do you do this?” Stiles whispered.

“Do what?” Derek asked.

“Why do you go out of your way to get me, me, the nicest and expensive things? I don’t understand. I know I’m your PA and friend, but I didn’t know being your PA will be like this…” Stiles furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the ground as he got lost in thought.

“Stiles…” Derek sighed and placed his hand on his PA’s shoulder, “I just want you to have nice things. I want you to be happy.”

Stiles looked up and locked eyes with Derek’s and tried not to get lost in to the man’s eyes as they seemed to change between green and grey. He licked his lips and swallowed as he caught Derek watching him. He squeezed his hands in to fists and tried to calm his beating heart, when Derek lifted his hand and gently touched his jaw.

Just as he opened his mouth to say something probably stupid, his phone rang. He shook his head and pulled it out of his pocket.

“This is Stiles Stilinski, Mr. Hale’s personal assistant. How may I help you?” Stiles answered, and it took a lot of self preservation to not sound as annoyed as he felt.

Derek sighed and ran a hand through his hair before standing up.

“We are not done here, young man.” Stiles whispered at his boss, and waved a finger at him.

Derek chuckled and left to shower. As soon as Derek was out of sight, Stiles mentally groaned and pulled at his hair in frustration. What was he thinking? What had just happened? Stiles seriously was not about to kiss his boss. He couldn’t. Wasn’t it illegal or something? Well whatever, Stiles could not kiss his boss.

Plus why the hell would his boss love him? Why would Derek fucking Hale want to kiss Stiles Stilinski? Derek I-get-whoever-I-want Hale. Derek I-am-too-sexy-for-anyones-eyes-to-handle Hale. Mr. Bunny Teeth with Very Expressive Eyebrows.

“Yes of course. Tomorrow 8:30 sharp? Let me check our schedule, if you could please give me a moment.” Stiles said professionally.

~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure you want me to go? I mean you could have another person go with you? I mean, not that I wouldn’t turn you down and I’d love to go, but I’m also perfectly happy with staying here. I just don’t want to start a new scandal. Plus I’m your PA.” Stiles chuckled nervously as he fixed his red tie.

It was the last night of their Tokyo trip. The next morning, they needed to get aboard a plane at 9 am. Tonight, they had to attend a business ball/party. Whatever it was, it was certainly fancy. And Derek invited Stiles to come with him as a date. Well not really a date date. They never really talked about it being a date.

“I want you to come Stiles. I really like you. There is no one I’d rather have come with me, except you. PA or not.” Derek smiled, his cheeks turning a light pink.

Stiles gulped and looked down at his feet, “I would love to go with you.”

Derek grinned and took Stiles’s hand before kissing his knuckles softly. Would you even call that a kiss? It was just a soft touch of lips on his knuckles. Even so, it caused Stiles to gasp in surprise and make his heart flutter. Derek opened his eyes and looked up at Stiles as he pressed his lips against his last knuckle before pulling away.

“Mr. Hale and Mr. Stilinski. You’re limo is here.” A voice said from the outside of the hall.

“Yes of course.” Derek called out before smiling shyly at Stiles, “you ready?”

“Y-yeah.” Stiles nodded rapidly and let himself be led out of the room and to the limo.

Just like Stiles feared, it was a publicized party. There was hundreds of paparazzi and important people, they even had a red carpet. A red carpet. This shit was serious. Derek got out of the car first, and then, like the gentleman he was, helped Stiles out. But once the door to the limo closed behind Stiles, never once did Derek let go his hand. They walked hand in hand through the crowd of paparazzi, smiling almost as bright as the camera. Sometimes Derek even wrapped his arm around Stiles’s waist and pulled him in close to his side.

“I didn’t know the party was going to be publicized. Okay I lie, I knew it was going to be publicized but I didn’t know there was going to be that many people here.” Stiles admitted as they walked in through the doors of the building.

Derek huffed out a small laugh before turning to greet the first important person of the night. What was his name again? Stiles forgot. But who cared right? He was just here because Derek was being nice, just like he usually is. So yeah maybe he could be a big jerk and broody asshole but it was just to scare people in the office. Stiles knew that Derek was a giant fluffy in the inside.

Stiles smiled and greeted the people along side of Derek, but after the 15th person, he got tired of it. How did Derek do this? Maybe a drink would help Stiles clear his head.Yeah that sounded great.

“I’m getting a drink, want something?” Stiles whispered in Derek’s ear before another person came to greet them.

“Just a dry martini. I’ll go join you in a little bit, ‘kay?” Derek promised.

“Sir yes sir.” Stiles teased and walked to the beautiful open bar.

“Can I get a dry martini and a daiquiri?” Stiles asked politely.

“Coming right up, sir.” The bartender nodded and began to work on the drinks.

Stiles turned to look at the crowd forming in the huge ballroom, and bit his lip. There was a lot of important people here. There was a lot of people, period. He scanned the room and searched for Derek, but there was too many people with dark hair and suits to be able to point out who was who. He stomped down the feeling of pure panic, and twiddled his thumbs for a little bit.

“Aren’t you a little bit young to be hanging out with the big guys?” A voice said beside him.

Stiles turned around and arched a brow at a man with sunglasses and a cane. He had a British sort of air around him.

“Yeah probably. I’m just a PA.” Stiles shrugged.

“I’m Deucalion. And you are?” The man, Deucalion, asked.

“Stiles Stilinski. I’m Derek Hale’s PA. Nice to meet you, Mr. Deucalion.

“Nice. Derek Hale? Why you must be the man everyone has been talking about. I now see why. You are a beautiful man.” Deucalion smiled.

“Thanks. I didn’t know people were talking about me. Way to boost my self-esteem. Whoopy!” Stiles joked and took hold of his two drinks as the bartender placed them on the bar top.

“Deucalion.” Derek’s surprisingly cold voice cut through the air.

“Ah, Derek Hale. Lovely to see you again.” Deucalion smiled, making a shiver go down Stiles’s back.

“Can’t say the same about you.” Derek responded, his arms crossed on top of his chest and eyebrows expressing their own wrath.

“Beautiful PA. I’m jealous. I’d love to have a man like him around me all the time.” Deucalion winked at Stiles.

Derek’s jaw clenched and his eyes filled with disgust, “Shut up.”

“Derek.” Stiles hissed, “manners.”

“Listen to your PA. Don’t want to embarrass yourself do you?” Deucalion snickered.

Stiles felt his stomach clench as Deucalion reached over and ran his hand down his arm. Derek moved quick, thrusting his arm out and gripping Deucalion’s wrist. Deucalion grinned and Derek pushed his hand away.

“This is shit. You’re a shit.” Stiles snapped at Deucalion.

“Not a way to speak to the CEO of one of the biggest weapon companies.” Deucalion said.

“Weapons? No sir thank you sir. Now I remember you! You are CEO of Alpha Weapons! The one company I hate more than Kate Argent. That’s pretty high. Tell me, why the hell did you sell weapons to the bad guys? Going against your country. Shame. Sorry, Deucalion, I don’t think raging traitor is my type. I prefer dark haired grumpy men who are actually the sweetest things on the planet. Bye!” Stiles wiggled his fingers in a mocking wave, a proud grin splitting his face.

“Get the hell away.” Derek growled, “And don’t ever go anywhere near Stiles again.”

Deucalion flushed in anger before stomping away. Stiles let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and handed Derek his alcohol. Then he quite literally drank almost half of daiquiri.

“Did he do anything to you?” Derek asked, his eyes furrowed and his eyes filled with worry.

“Nah. He was just being creepy.” Stiles smiled.

“Sounds like him… I’m not leaving your side again.” Derek whispered.

“You’re the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.” Stiles admitted.

“... Hey… I prefer men with moles and honey brown eyes that are sarcastic little assholes 78 percent of the time.” Derek smiled shyly.

Stiles almost did a spit take. Almost. He calmly swallowed what was in his mouth and locked eyes with Derek.

“What?” Stiles croaked.

“I like you Stiles. I really really like you. I liked you since you first came in to my office for the interview and said that stupidly funny joke about the monkey.” Derek confessed.

“Oh my god… Derek…” Stiles whispered.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I mean just look at you. You are so breathtaking and so amazing. And I’m your boss and you’re my PA, but I don’t care. That’s why I bought you all those things because I was trying to make you fall in love with me. And like I said before. You don’t have to feel the same way. We can just ignore this confession never happened and-”

“Derek, you big idiot, I like you too! I’ve been wanting to go out with you since even before the interview. And then you became a millionaire and I thought you would think I was gold digger, but no. I could care less about money. You could be getting 2 cents per hour and I’d still be madly in love with you.” Stiles blurted out.

Derek grinned and set his drink down on the bar counter.

“Can I kiss you?” Derek asked.

Stiles set his drink down and smiled before wrapping his arms around Derek’s neck.

“Hell yeah.”

#sterek fics #my sterek fics #ceo sterek au

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winstonhcomedy · 5 years

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“Dope A-F” - 5/15-5/26 - “Saving The Environment, A Raffle, Woman Of The Year, Fire In Pittsburgh, Canon and Draw, The After Show, Punk Rock and The Winstmas Games, and Annapolis”

Boom another week down and another round of shows to write about. Don’t you wish you comedy was hot like me! OOOOOOO WEEEE LAYDEES! It is time to get down to the nitty gritty of it and talk about some hot ass shows!

5/15

I had a few shows this night. I was not ready for one of them even a little bit. Sarah Ahmed had booked me to do a set in front of the league of conservation voters. She told us to do political/environmental based material for 5 to 7 minutes. I took this to heart and worked really hard to try to come up with something. So I planned to propose a New Green New Deal with a primary focus on farts effects on the environment.

The show was at Blue Bee Cider and it was gong to be early in the night at around 5:30. So I got off work and headed straight there. When I got there Sarah pulled in behind me and I helped her set up. I also got to meet her father in law, and we all had a good conversation. I told her how nervous I was and she told me it was going to be fine.

I relaxed for a bit as more comics showed up. Anne Meng, Grace Manno, Kate Carroll, Jesse Hill Jr, and Mu were all on the show. Grace and I both had a drawing component in our bit, so she decided to tell a story about her crazy upbringing by eco warriors.

The conservation voters started to show up, and it actually started to fill up pretty nicely. Sarah is dressed as Earth. The show starts and they are definitely not an audience into comedy. Sarah does a bit where she is complaining about how hot it is and she is smoking a cigarette.. Each comic goes up and keeps trying to crack them open. No one does horribly, but it is just weird. Everyone was trying ecological humor, and some of it hits, but then they’d transition into their acts and it just felt weird and off. People got laughs, but they deserved more than they got.

Mu went up before me and he did what I should have done. He did about 45 seconds of ecological material and then said screw it and just did his act. They definitely responded to this better than anyone else. He had the best set of the night, and a lot of that was due to him not really restricting himself to doing 5 minutes of jokes he wrote that week. Definitely a solid set.

I went up next and by all outside accounts I did well. It felt horrible to do. My bit involved me pretending I just found out about climate change so I had to do something drastic to try and fix it. I came up with a taxable fart chart of all farts we should tax. This color coded pie chart included, old people farts, dog farts, cow farts, my farts, queefs (female only tax but only at 70% of regular tax), and Donald Trump’s farts. This got a laugh and was silly, but the tags I did after didn’t really work. I think they truly believed I didn’t know what climate change was.

I then went into another part where I explained that since we can’t tax cows we needed to murder them all to save the planet. This would create jobs since I would be training highly skilled assassins to kill the cows (Calf Team Six). I then had a drawing of a cow farting with a birthday cone hat on. Then I showed another drawing of me killing the cow with a series of guns, swords, and a nuclear bomb. I had also stolen the birthday cap in this drawing. All in all I am very proud of it. I did 5 minutes of environmental material, and even though it didn’t hit as hard as I wanted at all. People paid attention, and on the video it got some nice laughs.

I then just did 5 minutes of my material. That started off weak because it switched up the energy. I closed strong with a teaching joke, and every time I shit on myself and the room for not liking comedy it got a laugh as well. This is the most solid of a C I can give myself. I challenged myself to write and do something different and it succeeded. I now have more confidence to accept and do gigs like this. I could have gotten a better response if I had just done material and crowd work, but I am so proud I didn’t.

Some people talked to me about the show afterwards. They seemed to enjoy it quite a bit. Sarah reassured me it went better than I felt it did. I truly did not feel good at all about it until I rewatched it later. While on stage it felt like I was drowning in the water from a million melted ice caps. After I packed up I found out the second mic I was going to go to was cancelled, and that the other one I could have done had already started.

So I decided to head over to En Su Boca to eat with Bryan Williams and Alex Castagne. Bryan and I talked for about 40 minutes while we waited for our table to be ready. We sat down and Alex showed up about another 30 minutes later. I ordered some delicious wings, and chips. They got a burrito and tacos. After this Alex headed back to his place and Bryan and I headed to the only mic left tonight at Home Sweet Home.

I get there and it is the first night Jason Kusterer will be hosting. It is a pretty good turnout of comedian, but there is almost no audience. He decides to start it about 20 minutes late while waiting for comedians to get there. A lot of people show up including John Thomas, Bryan, Brandon, Alex, Tom Hall, and a lot of others. It is a super fun hang, and Jason has the meeting and asks if I mind going first. I tell him sure, and get my set ready.

We go upstairs and the comics fill in the room. There are a few new faces, and maybe three or four noncomics. Jason goes first and does ok before bringing me up. I go up and work on new stuff. Everything gets a good response, and I am really loving how these jokes are working out. I think I am a few weeks away from getting these jokes kind of done. I’d give this set a B. Everything worked even though it was just comics. I get off stage and watch the next few comics.

There was a queer German born comic who was on her way back from doing a comedy festival down south. She had some good stuff, and you could tell she was doing her tightest five. It worked and the people really dug it. This was shaping up to be a good ass show.

I grab my stuff and head downstairs. I said my goodbyes and handed out some hugs. I then hopped in my car and got out of there asap.

5/16

The next night I was returning to Kindred Spirit Brewing out in Goochland. My friend Stella who came and checked out my headlining spot a month ago was on this month’s show. I had asked for a guest spot on it since there were no open mics this night.

I get there super early and I have no idea how the show is going to go. It is a benefit for the Leukemia, and Lymphoma society. They are expecting a pretty big crowd so I am ready for it. My buddy John Marg is hosting it so I know it will at least be a fun hang.

Mike Ward runs the whole thing and he shows up and says one of the other comics has dropped out so he asked me to close out the show. I humbly obliged. We are getting closer and closer to show time and people are starting to pile in. I think at the show’s peak there was about 100 people in there.

They were also doing a raffle to get people to donate money, and buy tickets. People were also a little rowdy. This was a benefit, but they definitely came to have fun. John goes up first and sets the mood. He has a good hosting set, and draws a few raffle prizes. He makes sure everyone is paying attention before he brings up the first comic.

The first dude is some guy who used to do comedy a long time ago. He goes up and does 15 and gets a really good response. A lot of the jokes are things that I feel like I have heard or seen on memes, but honestly that doesn’t really matter to this crowd. He gets some really big laughs, and had them going throughout the set. He did well.

After this Mike goes up and he struggles a bit. He has a hard time getting them to pay attention. His set goes for about 20 minutes and people just seem kind of disinterested in the show, and are getting pretty loud in the back. He is working hard, and gets some laughs, but you could tell people had come to specifically see the previous dude.

Then Stella goes up. She was supposed to do 17+ but she ended up doing about 12 or 13. This was a completely different type of room for her. It was a big crowd, they were drunk, rowdy, and you had to be able to work to get them. She definitely learned a lot, and some stuff worked. Super dope she took this gig though. These are the types of gigs I used to take all the time when I started. Low or no paying, rowdy, crowd not really into comedy, and just having to work your ass off. It makes you more versatile and helps to make you bulletproof.

By this point it is looking bleak. People are leaving, it is towards the ned of the show, they have a few raffle prizes left, and it is getting late. I am foaming at the mouth to get on stage and just get it over with. I told John to light me at 15 because I only had to do 20 and I wanted to be able to get off as soon as I was ready.

I go up and just go right into crowd work. I address how loud everyone is. I start talking about how people change during raffles. How it makes you want to kill the people who win. Especially if they win more than one thing. This gets people involved. I directly address the people in the back, and the people talking and that gets some laughs as well. I am kind of on a roll. So I use the first 10 or so minutes only on crowd work. It is destroying.

After this I get the raffle girl who was named “woman of the year” for god knows what. I then draw two raffle tickets. They are both won by the same dude. I am selling my surprise and it is destroying. He actually poses in front of me to take pictures and I give the camera the finger. My fake frustration is really selling it all.

I then draw one last raffle ticket and read everything up until the last number. I then put it in my back pocket and make them wait for the end of my set. I then do 15 minutes of new material with a few pauses to keep crowd involved. Everything works, and honestly it was a great set. I finish and get a good response. I’d give this set an A. I really rose to the occasion and am super proud of this set.

Afterwards I talk comedy with Stella and John for a bit. I then get everything together and talk to some people. We take some photos and I find out they raised a good amount of money which feels awesome. I then grab my stuff and head home because I am exhausted.

5/17

The next night I am booked to headline a show in Charlottesville at The Guerrilla Theatre hosted by Heather Kilburn. The lineup is Heather, Ben Wasserman (NYC), Sam Padgett, Kate Carroll, Brandon Beswick and myself. I get there early to set up my camera and chill.

It is a small black box theatre. People started to show up and we realized it was going to be a fun, lively, and intimate show. We are all hanging in the back and you can tell Heather is nervous because it is her first time hosting a standup show.

We get about 30 people in a room that seats 40, and she decides to start the show. She gets the crowd in the mood, and feels them out. Then she brings up Ben. Ben does mostly audience participation/crowd work. He also started his set off with a song parody. Def had an alt vibe, and the audience seemed to enjoy it. It was a good opening set.

After him went Sam and then Kate. They both weaved in and out of having home on their side, losing them, and then getting them back. It was fun to watch. Then Brandon went up and had a really strong set. He had some bit hit harder than I’d heard them hit for a long time. He closed crazy strong and I knew I had to bring it.

I went up and had to work to win them over up top. Stuff was going over ok, and each joke did better than the last. I finally started to do really well in the middle. I had a hot first 25 and then I had to start checking my notes because of how much old and new stuff I was doing. People were really enjoying it and the last 10 went well as well. My closer hit pretty hard and I’d give this whole set a B-. Cool I was able to do 25 without crowd work, and without checking my notes. It was also cool that some of the newer bits are really coming into their own.

After the show all the comics and audience left, but Heather had made pasta for anyone that wanted any. I hung out with her, her step dad, her sister, and some of her friends/fellow improvisors for about an hour. It was a really fun way to unwind. I then decided to drive straight to Fairfax to stay at Tjs place since we were leaving in the morning to go to Pittsburgh.

5/18

The next morning I woke up and TJ and I went to go grab lunch while we waited for Kevin Tit (DC comic) who was going to ride up with us to Pittsburgh. We decided to go to Freddy’s Steakburgers, and I absolutely fell in love. I got a bacon cheeseburger, a half and half shake, and a large fry and some fry sauce. I ate every last piece of it. TJ and I both destroyed our burgers. I hadn’t had a fast foot burger that good in a very long time.

During this time Kevin messaged the group chat and said he wasn’t going to make it so TJ and I grabbed out stuff and headed on the road. It was about a four hour ride up there. We talked comedy, listened to music, I napped a bit, and we stopped for some candy on the way up. The time went by pretty quickly. The craziest thing I saw was on the side of the road near Pittsburgh there was a car engulfed in flames. I had never seen anything like it in person. You could see the smoke from like a mile away.

We got to the venue and parked in the garage before going inside of the Arcade Comedy Theatre. We were there super early. We went in the green room and just chilled. TJ passed out and I started dumping video files from my camera, and clearing off space on my laptop. The dude working the sound booth gave us a tour of the venue and it is a killer space with an upstairs and a downstairs room.

The first comic showed up. Her vibe was throwing me off. She was nice, but seemed aloof. Was making comments that honestly were stressing me the hell out. She was saying things like I always run the light, I don’t know what I’m doing, and stuff like that. I don’t know, but I was fraeking. Then she mentioned how new she was to comedy and it made me feel instantly better. My knee jerk anxiety had now subsided, and I was just super excited for the show.

The rest of the comics showed up including Robert Punchur and the host Ed Bailey. They usually have a brewery sponsor the show and have some free beer for the audience but apparently some comics and the brewery bailed. So we all got to do a little more time. Two other comics showed up to hang out and they were pretty cool too. It was a fun hang.

the show started and there was a pretty good crowd there. They were tight and you had to work. Ed went up and did well with some crowd work. Then the female comic went up and got some laughs as well.

I went up and had a super fun set. I was able to crack the audience. I did 15 without notes and crowd work. I was able to float in and out of my material and got some super good pops. Some things didn’t kill, but they did get the audience looser. I’d give my set a B.

After me was Robert and he did about 20 and did well. Then TJ went up and worked his butt off. He closed with like 25 and worked new in with old. It was a super fun show. Afterwards we hopped right in his car and headed back. We arrived at his place at like 3 am and we passed right out! A super fun trip.

5/20

This night was pretty laid back. I was doing the Southern’s open mic. I got there a little early. I wasn’t feeling great but I got some hanging out in. I grabbed a burger with Alex, Paige, and Chris.

I was going up fifth. I tried some newer stuff and it worked ok. Nothing killed. There wasn’t a huge crowd. some of the new stuff I tried to work out. I’d give my set a D.

I left pretty quickly after this because of how bad I was feeling. All in all it wasn’t that memorable of a night. It was pretty disappointing, but I was excited for our show there Friday.

5/22

I had a couple shows this night. I was booked by Melissa Harris and Dylan Vattelana for their first showcase at Canon and Draw in Richmond. I was super stoked. They were going to be using my PA system for the show so I headed right over after work.

I got there about 4:15 and brought all of my stuff in. I then did some video editing while I waited for Dylan and Melissa to get there. Once they arrived we set up the PA and she took a few pictures. Then we just hung out and waited for the audience to get there. Dylan and I played Mario Kart Double Dash, and people started to come in.

The format was going to be Dylan hosting then Anthony Thompson, myself, and then Kate Carroll for the showcase. Then after that there would be an open mic. By the time Dylan went up there was a really good sized crowd there. This was going to be fun. There was two people who were there when we set up and said they were staying for comedy since they were from out of town (Austin). They then they left almost immediately when Dylan started.

The only problem was that you could barely hear Dylan. We had done a sound check at the beginning, but we had done it with both speakers set up. Melissa and Dylan had taken one down because they wanted the logo in the pictures. This is fine, but we didn’t recheck sound.

So after Dylan’s set we adjusted it, and Anthony went up. He had a very strong set. He got people’s attention, and his jokes were hitting which is a killer combo. The show was really rolling at this point.

Then it was my turn. I went up, and tried to get the crowd back into my rhythm. I started a little slow, but I didn’t want to do crowd work for this set. I wanted them to like my jokes. Luckily they did. I was able to get all of my material going. It was all hitting, and I managed to close pretty strong. This was a solid B set. I did about 16 minutes and I wish I could have gone longer.

Kate went up after me and she had her lulls, but she was able to get them back. The open mic was next. From what I heard everybody on the mic was having a solid set. The audience stayed, and that’s always a good sign.

I went outside and some audience members came outside and talked to us about how good the show was. They gave us a lot of compliments and it was a good vibe.

Anthony and I had a nice long talk about comedy. What we want to do with it, and where we want to go. It was nice to catch up and just shoot the shit for a while.

When the show ended a table talked to me about my set. I got some follows on social media, and they mentioned wanting to do a brunch show sometime and I told them they definitely should. I said my goodbyes and turned around and saw that Dylan and Melissa had already packed up my stuff. I got John Marg to help me take it to my car before heading over to McCormacks.

I get to McCormacks and it is an ok crowd. The comics in the back were all mostly knew and were already kind of in a conversation so I sat off to the side. I got my set ready because I was going first.

Jessie went up and had an ok set. The crowd was paying attention but they were small. I just wanted to get some new stuff out and see what worked. He calls me up and I was really pleased with my open mic set. It was all you can ask for in a mic. I’d give it a B-. People paid attention, I got some good pops, and I know where to take my jokes. I said goodbye and headed straight home.

5/23

My mental health was taking a deep dive all week. This was when it started to get really rough. I had wanted to get caught up on the blog this day, but I kept telling myself no one wanted to read it and I should just give it up. So I put it off another day.

I had two open mics this day though so I had to keep my head up and be ready to work through some material. The first was at The Camel. Jameson was hosting, but was letting Patrick Buhse host the second half of the show.

I got there early and did some writing. Francesca, Jarvis, Buhse, Muñoz, Jameson, Kusterer, Richard Woody and a few others showed up. We were all hanging out, and I really needed it. They had no idea how these interactions really were helping my mental health.

Kusterer and Jarvis were the headliners, and there was a couple comics before them. I was so in my own head that I didn’t get to enjoy Jarvis and Kusterer’s sets the way I wanted to. Kusterer kept pretending to be the bouncer, but the crowd was kind of dead. He got some pops, and he kept playing with the light Jameson was using. Jarvis then went up and did his act, but the whole crowd was just weird.

Buhse started the next part and then it was my turn. I went up and bombed my dong off. I got maybe a few laughs. I couldn’t connect, and I was just trying to get the wording right. I’d give this set a D-. It felt like absolute shit.

I then headed over to Penny Lane to hang out and destress. Eventually a few other comics showed up. Anthony and Beswick were there. Along with Stella. We were all shooting the shit and enjoying it. Then out of nowhere Jericho Davidson (NYC) showed up. He’s a super dope dude and comic. He was down for a show that weekend and came in a night early to hang. It was super dope to see him and joke around.

The show started and Muñoz said I was after him. Muñoz did some crowd work and got a lady on stage with him and had her singing. it was incredibly crazy and weird. I could tell this was going to be a rough show. When I went up I couldn’t connect. I felt like half of my stuff worked. None of it hit as hard as it should have. The only joke that worked was the one I closed with about rough sex. I get off stage and go in the back. Then Beswick goes up and has the same luck. He didn’t do so hot either.

We then both watch Stella. She bombs too, but the best part was some woman said she wasn’t funny so she just started talking about how she thought the woman had on an ugly dress. The audience hated her for it. It was her first experience with that and she felt terrible. We told her it happens, and it was a learning experience. After shooting the shit a little bit more I headed home. I had a long day at work the next day (subbing in a different program), my head was in a shitty space, and I needed rest.

5/24

This was a show I had been looking forward to until this week. Honestly I was in a horrible place all week and was worried this show was going to be terrible. Tonight was The After Show. This is the politically focused show hosted by Chris Alan. I am the fact checker, and the dude who gives them the topics.

The lineup was a fun one. We had Anne Meng, Kenn Edwards, Sam Padgett, and Will Jones (local barber/small business owner/activist). I got to the show early because I was in a bad headspace. I was super nervous because I had a falling out with a comic over a sensitive issue. Luckily we made up shortly before the show started. So that relieved a lot of my anxiety.

I was nervous because it was Memorial Day weekend that we would not have a very large crowd. I was right. It was the most poorly attended show we have put on in the main room. I would say we had about 30 people there. Which isn’t awful, but was extremely disappointing.

We finally decided to start the show. I brought everyone out and we jumped right into it. The first ten minutes or so it was weird. Honestly the vibe in the room was everyone was super uptight. it felt like this was going to be a super shitty show. We couldn't get a single big pop, and Chris was rubbing people the wrong way. I don’t think the audience knew what to make of the show.

I finally broke through and got a huge pop when we were talking about Ayesha Curry’s comments. This led to the show turning out to be amazing. It was equal parts hilarious, heartfelt, informative, and important. We covered a lot of ground. We talked about the KKK coming to Dayton and tied it back into what happened in Charlottesville last year, the Alabama abortion bill, gay rights in Africa, and a lot of others. I’d give the whole show a B. It was way better than it had any right to be. the crowd bought into it and we had a blast.

After the show I got a lot of compliments from people about how I did. I was able to get a lot of pops on my jokes, and still able to steer the conversation. It felt really good to do. Also got told that like 15 minutes into the show a dude tried to get his money back. He was a Trump supporter and he thought the show was going to be way more focused on comedy instead of half and half. The crazy thing is I think we said Trump’s name once during the whole show. He wasn’t the focus.

Chris and I both try to not make this a show of division. We almost never talk about political parties at all. We just talk about our own opinions, and the issues. We have guests of different backgrounds on to make sure multiple sides are represented. Just really funny to have a Trump guy be a snowflake for once. On a side note I am not mad he left. He did the right thing. If you don’t like the show leave. He didn’t interrupt, and he wasn’t rude. Which is a lot more than I can say for a lot of the SJWs who get upset at a joke.

We hung out outside for a little bit, and I talked to Kenn therapy. I need to get my head better, and honestly this week was the final straw. I have a lot of work to do in my life. I don’t want to miss out on some of the best things in my life just because I am stubborn and not seeing a therapist who can actually help me.

5/25

The next day I feel like dogshit. The only positive is I have a show at Castleburg Brewery in RVA. I am getting to do an episode of The Winstmas Games which I am super stoked about. Then that will be followed by a concert by The Alex Jonestown Massacre.

I get there pretty early and start to get everything ready. I am just trying to distract my brain from all of the bad thoughts so I do some video editing and writing. Eventually Kenn, Pat Miller, and Mike Engle (comics/members of AJM) show up and set up for the concert.

There isn’t a crowd at all, but I am still hopeful it is going to be fun. I help set up, and get the games ready for the podcast. The teams are AJM vs Brandon Beswick, Amita Rao (improviser), and Jason Kusterer.

Brandon has to leave by 8 to get to his Improv show. So that meant we couldn’t do a super long episode, which honestly was ok with me. At around 7:15 we got started because we actually had about a dozen people there. Which is a fine sized crowd for me. At 7 we had nobody other than a couple coworkers who came out. It was dope to have their support.

The show was actually insanely good. It was one of the funnier episodes I had done and it made me wish I could do it live every week. It was about a 40 minute episode and it got laughs all the way through. Everybody did really well, and I had some true belly laughs. It is such a fun feeling to get this show to work. I’d give it a B+ all the way around.

I then hung out and watched the concert. It was really fun. I hadn’t seen them in a super long time. It was just so nice to not have bad stuff on my mind. Unfortunately as soon as the show ended they all came rushing back. After the show Kenn talked to me about this meditation app. I decided that it was worth a shot. He told me what to email them and I got a free year to use it. Hopefully I am able to make an even bigger change in my life. I am determined to be ok with myself, and work towards fulfillment. I am tired of feeling this way.

I say my goodbye’s and head home. I have one more show this weekend and it is in Annapolis. I know it is going to be a long day tomorrow

5/26

The next day I wake up at around 9. I do my first day of meditation and I actually enjoy it. I know it is going to take al to of work to maintain it, but I am willing to do anything to help. I then go take a nap for an hour or so. I wake up and head to Chris Alan’s house. He is going to drive us up to Annapolis for our show at Harvest restaurant hosted by Matt Brown.

I get to Chris and we head out. We have an argument about Albanese gummy bears. He had posted online they were terrible, but I told him that his favorite gummy bears (7-11 brand/Sheetz brand) is just repackaged Albanese. He didn’t believe me. So we bought a bag of each and I made him do a taste test in the car. You have no idea how satisfying it was for him to eat them both and have to begrudgingly say they are the same and he actually likes Albanese better than Haribo.

He always makes food posts on fb to upset people. So he told me he was going to do an apology one which I can’t wait for. So now I have something to look forward to for the next few days.

We talk about music, life, comedy, my depression, and all other things on the way up there. It is a nice peaceful drive and we don’t hit a ton of traffic. Then we get into Annapolis it is giving us a bit of anxiety. The streets are all really narrow, there isn’t a lot of parking, and there are a ton of people out.

We finally get a spot right in front of the venue and we walk around,. We go look at the shops, restaurants, and the water. After walking around a bit we meet Matt at the venue. We go in and order some food. Chris got wings and fries, and I went with the carne asada. They both looked really good, and mine tasted good too. We then head upstairs to get ready for the show.

It is crazy hot this day, and the venue’s air conditioning was not working at all. So it was brutal upstairs. We wait an extra fifteen minutes for the show to fill in and then we start it up. Matt goes up and gets the crowd going. IT takes him a bit, but they start to warm up. Then there is a female comic who I don’t remember who goes up, and she is followed by a dude I’ve never met before. The girl doesn’t do too hot, and the dude had a pretty strong set. He got the ball rolling.

After him was Jamie Benedi who I think is a super funny/weird joke writer. I was curious to see how this day drunk Memorial Day weekend crowd would dig him. They did not vibe with him at all. The jokes were great, but they just didn’t get on his wave length and couldn't connect.

After he got off it was my turn and I used the first few minutes to kind of rest the room. I just did crowd work, and got them to get on my side. I was working my ass off. I was getting laughs all the way throughout, but there was one dude who seemed super drunk and seemed to not care about what I was saying at all. My material did ok, and I was doing really well in the middle. I closed weaker than I wanted, but it was all in all a pretty good set. I’d say it was a solid B.

After me Chris went up and had a super hot one. He leaned in with his material and did a lot of crowd work. I always feel so dumb when I don’t do crowd work for my whole set, because I know I could have killed harder. All of Chris material and crowd work went over great. He is a killer comic and always a blast to watch.

There was supposed to be a big storm so we left as soon as he got off stage. We had a nice and peaceful drive back. We talked about the show and his upcoming show doing Tuesdays With Stories live at the Comedy Cellar at Village Underground. It was a great ride, and helped me stay occupied. After getting back to his place I drove home, and tried to fall asleep. Although I was having a hard time. I eventually passed out

I DID IT I DID IT! I didn’t let my depression keep me from doing the blog. I had the next two days off. They weren’t the best days, but I am so hopeful for my mental health. I’m taking a lot of the right steps and trying to make things right in my life.

The meditation is really helping me a lot. I also exercised. I think I have decided that until I figure out these issues a move isn’t in my best interest. I need to fix me before I start moving hundreds of miles away from my support system. This was a tough decision to come to, but I came to it for a ton of reasons. This is what I need to do and I am very happy with that decision.

Thanks for everything. I love you all very much. I am not going to miss out on the dopest thing in my life. So I’ve got to get this right. LOVE YOU LAYDEES!!!!

#comedy #punk rock #gameshows #standup #bomb #politics #democrat #republican #alabama #abortion #hilarious

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