#my general rule is just joking about the canon and things that are straight up said

[byakuyasdarling]

The longer and longer you know me the more I know how little of a sense of humour I have LMAO

[jedi-enthusiast]

Ngl this is gonna seem so backwards, but I actually find it very soothing to base the actions/attitudes/opinions of the general public of the galaxy in my fics on anti-Jedi fans. Mostly because I then get to use that to give a deeper look into the Order's humanity, as well as to explore how deeply fucked up their opinions on the Jedi are.

=====

Do I think the actual, canon, general populous of the galaxy think the Jedi deserve to die in the war and/or get enslaved- (either because they should've stayed out of it or they didn't do enough)? No.

But have I seen anti-Jedi people express that opinion and opinions similar? Yes.

=====

Do I think the actual, canon, general populous of the galaxy turned their noses up at the Jedi's Master & Padawan relationships and viewed them as cold or uncaring because they didn't call each other by traditional familial terms? No.

But have I seen anti-Jedi people express that opinion? Yes.

=====

Do I think the actual, canon, general populous of the galaxy thought the Jedi were horrible and cruel people simply because they had rules against marriage and putting the people you care about over the rest of the galaxy, and that they needed a massive reform or else deserved whatever awful things happened to them? No.

But have I seen anti-Jedi people express that opinion? Yes.

=====

Do I think the actual, canon, general populous of the galaxy either treated the Jedi coldly or like utter shit---even when the Jedi saved or helped them---and, when they did like a Jedi, they said they must be "one of the good ones?" No.

But have I seen anti-Jedi people talk complete and utter shit about the Jedi and the Order as a whole, but when they like a Jedi or two they say that "they were the 'good' Jedi and the rest of the Order should've been like them?" Yes.

=====

It's just very cathartic to take those opinions out of the vacuum of anti-Jedi tumblr, where everything the Jedi do is taken out of context, and put it back into context---and then frame those opinions as they really are instead of holding them up on some righteous moral high-horse.

It's like...anti-Jedi fans always forget that, in the context of what they're talking about, those people were...people.

We see them smile, and cry, and crack jokes, and get annoyed, and make friends. We see them tease each other, and care for each other, and help each other. We see them make mistakes, and learn from those mistakes, and learn, and grow. We see their rich culture, and their little traditions, and their beliefs, and their genuine want---need---to help people.

We see them just...live.

And these people genuinely think that the Jedi deserved to die just because their lives didn't fit into what they view as "correct."

So yeah, I just find it nice to be able to set things straight, even if it's just in my own small corner of the internet.

[straycalamities]

alright i been meaning to do this so:

what is and is not allowed to be done with any of my characters! this includes art, fics, edits, headcanons, whathaveyou

[general content/trigger warning for uncomfortable, possibly-triggering topics because this is mainly the gist of what i dont want to see]

x = never ? = ask for permission

do nots: x - no noncon (if you engage to work through your feelings, never make my characters the perpetrators, it skeeves me out) ? - no genderbends/sexswaps/whatever they're called anymore? idk just don't mess with their gender, pronouns*, or assigned-sex-at-birth as a general thing unless i already have or okayed you directly. triple-especially if they're not cis x - respect their romantic orientations/sexualities! if you don't know a character's then you can ask me, but yeah. ie: don't ship andrew with women, he's homosexual x - [NSFW] absolutely no ageplay kinks or anything like that with my characters. no raceplay. just..nothing like that. x - no pregnancy. no mpreg. no omegaverse. none of it. (i've come a long way from it being straight-up a trigger but still, yea,) i have had some of my characters naturally be pregnant/have babies but i'd rather handle it myself, if you know what i mean x - this is a duh, but nothing hateful/bigoted using my characters. like, for instance, i do joke abt shit and say mainverse!entre is a conservative but don't unironically use him for anything awful like that. joking/memeing around about his terrible political stances is fine though x - i would never write or have my characters telling anyone to "kill yourself" so please don't have them say stuff like that. even if it's a joke. it makes me uncomfortable. (there may be a few exceptions in my giant roster of ocs but as a general rule just avoid it) x - never use my ocs likenesses or art of them as art for your own ocs. that's never okay. my ocs designs are for my own characters only.

*it's okay to have neopronoun headcanons

okay! generally anything i havent said isn't okay IS okay, but just so anyone reading this has a clearer idea

it's okay to use my characters for expressing yourself, venting, or just personal stuff like that. if my characters help you through something, go ahead and express it. i'm happy they help :)

playing around with gender presentation (not gender) is perfectly okay with any of my characters

shipping in general is fine as long as it doesnt go against the don'ts list. i dont care who you ship them with

[NSFW] i'm okay with pretty much any other kinks other than anything that goes into noncon, bigotry, or underage so go wild even if it's not my thing personally i don't care. (ie: the swagtre piss fic? lol im not a watersports guy but chase your bliss)

my characters are all free game for anything horror themed as well. horror as a genre, body horror, psychological horror, whatever. go for it. i have a personal major squick for eye gore but i can handle (and enjoy) pretty much anything else in this realm. go as gorey or not as you like (just tag appropriately for other ppls sakes)

handling self-harm/suicide idealization themes is technically? okay? for my characters? just uh...be respectful i guess. and definitely tag appropriately. this theme is canon for a few of them so i am okay with it just handle it with care is what i'm saying

go ham-buck-wild with mental illness headcanons or projections or anything like that. i dont think i have an oc that doesn't have at least something, so if you see yourself in their symptoms, go for it. only some of them i have personal labels for some of their stuff but otherwise it's whatever. just be respectful, again.

kinning is also okay! kin, synpath anything like that. go ahead! go wild with it. i think it's neat. just be respectful.

and an important note to all of this, other than being respectful to others and the characters themselves, is to respect me. just because it's okay that you do it with my character, doesn't mean i have to agree with it or make it canon or anything like that. it just means i gave you permission to engage like that. so please don't come to me trying to ask or force me to change something about my own characters or get so lost in your headcanons you start to disrespect what i've established myself

and if you ever have any questions about them or any of this, just let me know. i'm always happy to help

also yet again DONT REPOST MY NSFW ART ARGHHHH!!!

[hxdrostorms]

@eternalstarlights has sent: 🌸 = my roleplay petpeeve, 🌵 = a disliked canon character in my fandom,💐 = my favorite part about the fandom, 🌿 = my least favorite part about the fandom

Send me a symbol and I will tell you… [Accepting]

🌸 = my roleplay petpeeve

// Bc this has been happening across several blogs, not just here:

Reblog karma: If you have no plans of sending something back, then the least you should do is reblog them, from the source or look elsewhere in the posts' notes to reblog from.

I'm constantly going back in my prompts tag to delete old reblogs. BUT THERE ARE STILL, complete strangers who dig through it and reblog it from me. Like?????????? That has the same effect as a 'fuck you' in my DMs. It's 10x funnier, if it is one of those blogs with a long ass pinned/rules page. And they still had no qualms in doing this shit. It's not quirky, let me tell you that much.

Notice, I'm not complaining about not receiving asks whenever I reblog something. That's not an issue for me (mutuals/rp partners should only send stuff, when they genuinely feel like doing so, without any obligations). All I'm asking is to not make me feel like, I'm just a RP memes archive type of blog, that's only there to provide writing prompts & nothing else. I may not be the most active RPer, but none of my blogs are abandoned.

This has been a long running peeve I've been having to deal with, for YEARS. And it made a resurface as of lately.

🌵 = a disliked canon character in my fandom

// Hades & his spectres/Judges are overrated as fuck IMO LOL I say as a clown, bc I'm a classic golds dweeb fan. Clearly, I'm not in a position to say what is or isn't overrated.

Jokes aside. It may have been a result of the way I tried watching the classic series (by binge watching the entire thing). BUT when I got to the Hades arc, I got SO mad when I realized they brought back those drawn out battles. Like those were my least enjoyed bits of the early parts of the anime and the Sanctuary arc, meanwhile the Poseidon arc didn't have any of that (which is why I rate the Poseidon arc as my favorite one of the anime adaptation. 15 episodes with NO filler??? HELL YEAH.).

You can say I was already pretty burned, and should have slowed down with the final part of the series. But even then, I don't think that would have changed a thing about my general disinterest towards Hades' servants. Visually speaking to me, they are the messiest and most boring looking characters from the classic series (they only ever wear 1 color and look way too much like a toy, than some form of proper armor).

Rhadama.nthys is the biggest bitch in the club, to me he was the most insufferable. "He is the strongest*tm of all judges." *= only when Hades is straight up cheating and the story feels like unnecessarily drag things out. Reminder that Kanon killed him without any cloth equipped, and he went out the way HE chose to. He literally didn't even have to TRY.

My favorite part of the Hades arc was seeing Kanon wipe the floor, with everyone he crossed paths with. This feels 10x more satisfying, after reading the Destiny & Origins extra chapters.

💐 = my favorite part about the fandom

// I truly mean when I say, this is the chillest community I've been in a long time. Case in point: I haven't felt THIS artiscally inspired in YEARS. I've been doing so many works, I'm literally running an event in the main fandom. I've been brimming with inspiration to do so many things, that goes beyond the RPing aspect. And it has improved my general mental health SO much!

I'm forever thankful for getting into Sts LOL

🌿 = my least favorite part about the fandom

// If you exclusively speak English, you will suffer to find anything or anyone else from this fandom. Which isn't a problem for me at all but, I can see how frustrating or sad it must feel like, you can't get into a community due to a language barrier.

And the community itself isn't exactly the friendliest one towards gringos. Which I mean............ You can't blame us for feeling defensive, when literally every other fandom went down to shit, when things became very American-centered.

Not to start the whole Anti vs proship debate. BUT It is a fact that all antis (ppl who want to be cops/have no qualms with harrassing or policing others/etc.) I've come across are an American, who's way too enthralled in their lil bubble they call world. Then they have a breakdown bc as it turns out, the rest of the world isn't AT ALL like them. And there's genuine pushback/retaliation from the community, against these kinds of whiny bitchass mfers LOL.

Obviously, this doesn't mean the fandom is perfect nor it's an Utopia, where there isn't drama at all. BUT when compared to others, it feels a lot tamer in comparison. Unfortunately, it comes at the cost of coming off as a very closed off fandom, that's centered around overseas things for a change.

[eunchancorner]

Headcanons for the neighbors + Laurel? They've been rattling around in my brain recently

THEM

NORMAL HCS

-Eduardo is the saddest bb in the household for obvious reasons

-Was essentially dubbed the leader of their little friend group because he was the only one who was good at compromising.

-While the main four/three were trying to find new thrills in the form of amazing adventures, the other five (Eduardo, Jon, Mark, Todd and Laurel) were living life to the fullest

-Laurel helped Eduardo keep his temper in check

-Eduardo is very bi, I don't make the rules

-CANON GAY MARK CANON GAY MARK CANON GAY MARK CANO

-Jon... I can't pin down what I hc his sexuality to be. I wouldn't be surprised if he's straight, but he also seems like he'd be pan

-Laurel is also bi bc I said so >:3

-Mark is banned from cooking. Still.

-Ghosty Jon does in fact hang out around the house, but is usually invisible and silent

-Mark has taken it upon himself to be Eduardo's caretaker until he's ok again

-Ok so I have so many hcs for Todd bc he's a character who we only see a partial cameo of so my brain filled everything in for me so here we go

-Todd has floofy brown hair that's similar in color to Tord's, glasses, shit tons of band tees and a very big dislike for confrontation

-He's absolute BESTIES with Jon

-He's also Swedish bc yes

-Sweet bb, always helps when he can

-He went to pursue a college education shortly after PowerEdd so he could find a career, but he emails his friends fairly often

-He also doesn't know Jon's dead, he only knows Mark has been the only one responding to his emails lately and he's very worried

-Also, yes, in case you were wondering, I do interpret Laurel's death as canon as we never see her again. Meaning Saduardo being sad bc no gf

-Eduardo has a tendency to pushed loved ones away after losing Laurel, fearing loving them is putting them in danger

-While the bois were watching shoe get married, Laurel's funeral was being held

-Laurel ended up having bought him a cute little necklace for Christmas and his friends gave it to him. He always has it on under his shirt

-Before her untimely demise, Laurel was a very bubbly and kind soul

-Her and Eduardo met on a dating app and it was love at first sight

-Eduardo was very shy at first and Laurel thought it was the cutest thing ever

-But he got more confident with her help

-She was very fast friends with Mark, Jon and Todd

-Eduardo and Mark secretly called Laurel, Jon and Todd the 'Bubbly Trio'

-Jon has been learning Spanish with Eduardo's help so they could have secret convos

-Well all know the hc that Mark is a bookworm. Yes it applies here

-Mark is a very smart boi, often asked many questions

-Mark is also a very kind boi, will do anything in his power to make sure his friends are happy and safe

-Jon is very bad at reading social cues

TICKLE HCS (here we go)

-In order from most lee to most ler: Jon, Eduardo, Todd, Mark, Laurel

-In order from most ticklish to least: Eduardo, Jon, Todd, Laurel, Mark

-Yes, the neighbors share worst spots with their next-door counterparts (Laurel's is her sides)

-Eduardo finds his ticklishness very embarrassing and only his friends know

-Jon's perfectly ok with it and didn't mind telling people he was ticklish

-Mark could go either way about it, but if asked directly he kinda panics

-Todd will ball up, not even joking

-Laurel would've just tickled you first lol

-Eduardo's a loud, cussy, squirmy boi when tkled, but does enjoy it

-Jon's a sweet giggler, he'd just scrunch up and try to stim it away

-Mark tries not to react at first but he can get pretty loud if you get him good >:3

-Todd will just tighten his ball formation and try to hide himself and his laughter

-Should Laurel get got, she'd fight back bc she was just a generally playful person who loved a good tickle fight

-Todd snorts. It's been said, I said it

-Yk how Jon's prone to voice cracks? That, but laughter makes it worse, to the point where he sounds like a giggly mouse

-Eduardo and Laurel had shit tons of tickle fights

-Actually all of them do, tho as of late they've become extremely rare due to Eduardo being a Saduardo

-Eduardo would always be a cocky boi in the beginning, claiming he'd win

-And everyone else would just silently agree to tag-team him until he gave in

-Also Mark would often get got just so they could hear him laugh

-And also Jon bc... well he's adorable

-Laurel usually does most of the tickling, and it's usually sneaki

-Yes she's made Eduardo squeal on more than one occasion, yes she called it the cutest thing ever, yes he turned into a tomato

-Snuggle piles after tickle fights quickly became mandatory since absolutely none of them didn't enjoy some nice affection

This is all I can think of now, hope you liked!

[forabeatofadrum]

randomised trope/tag grading game

@captain-aralias tagged me in this fun challenge. I did a trope rating one a while ago, but this one is randomised!!

Rules: Generate your own personal list of 10 AO3 tags to rate. How much do these tags affect your decision to click on a fic? -10 -> very dissuaded 0 - don’t care either way +10 -> very enticed nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Drag Queens - 5

5 feels like a good mid-point, because I've never actually read a fic where a character doing drag has a central role, but I do love drag queens in real life, so I wouldn't mind. I just never thought to seek it out. Maybe I should.

Virtual Reality - 0

Define "Virtual Reality". Do you mean the blorbos playing some sort of VR game of the blorbos actually being in a VR-generated world? The first one sounds, uh, kind of boring. The second one sounds more interesting. (Not a fic, but the Hank Green duology really does this well). But also... not really interested in the first place.

Retirement - 0

Look, I just turned 25. I don't have any idea what to think of retirement yet. Ask me again in 40 years.

Feel-Good - 1000

FUCK YEAH. I don't believe that fic necessarily has to be a form of escapism, but it can be and feel-good and pure fluff is my JAM.

Loneliness - idk

This is a tough one, hence the idk. I think it is a great topic to explore, but as someone who's felt incredibly lonely, it's also a tough cookie. So it can be cathartic to see my (past) feelings reflected, but it can also be daunting, so I guess it depends on the mood.

Cardinal Virtues - ????

I had to Google what this means and I am still not entirely sure. I feel like I should, cause I literally study philosophy these days.

But, like, what does this mean for fic tropes? Does this mean a fic is all about a character being just or what not?

Post-Canon - 10

YEAH. I mean, it does depend on how much I love the canon (looking at you, Glee, fuck off!), but if I do love how the show/series/whatever ended, I do like the idea of checking up on these characters, so to speak.

Animal Traits - -10

Meh. I also don't really know what this means. I assume it has something to do with hybrid fics and that is not my thing and it never has been. This assumption is because traits like "loyalty" aren't inheritely for animals, for example dogs. Wait, is THIS what's meant with Cardinal Virtues? (jk)

Unhealthy Relationships - 2

Oof, okay. I was literally just thinking today on how fiction allows you to explore things you don't want to occur in real life and this is one of them. I mean, guys, I love Snowbaz. That isn't particulary healthy, especially in Wayward Son. I suppose it depends on how unhealthy (there's a difference between miscommunication and personal problems getting in the way and straight up physical violence) and how it's explored. If it's romanticised in any way, it's a big no, but to come back to the Wayward Son example, I do like the exploration.

Cannibalism - -100000

LOOK I ALWAYS JOKE I AM GLAD I JUST MISSED OUT ON THE CANNIBLAINE CRAZE OF EARLY 2011 FOR A REASON.

Tagging @quizasvivamos @spookyklaine @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @cutestkilla​ @wellbelesbian​ @artsyunderstudy​ @martsonmars​ @facewithoutheart​ @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites @blackberrysummerblog @whatevertheweather

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Now to roast Paldea and Kitakami before Sylveon does!(spoilers for people who are buying the entire dlc on Christmas and want to go in blind)

Sprigatito: There are two main sides of sprigatito fans, the rule 34 side and the 4/20 side.

Floragato: Why did you ditch the yo-yo when you evolved, that just makes it pointless!

Meowscarada: The delphox for cat lovers.

Fuecoco: You can join slowpoke in the "No thoughts, head empty" club.

Crocalor: So was the sombrero just a phase!?

Skeledirge: I would have no idea you were a singer if it wasn't for your signature move.

Quaxly: The Donald Duck pokemon.

Quaxwell: You're name is literally Maxwell with a qu instead of an m!

Quaquaval: I know it's 2023 and straight men can present themselves as flamboyant as they want, but this is literally just a gay version of blaziken!

Lechonk: Mmmm bacon....

Oinkolonge: Is this supposed to be the phrase "putting lipstick on a pig" given physical form?

Tarountula: With all that silk on your back, you're basically a walking yarn ball!

Spidops: This is based on the creepiest looking spider, arachnophobes beware...

Nymble: They're a bit more forgettable compared to many other bug pokemon.

Lokix: I really wish that the first bug/Dark pokemon would've been more interesting.

Pawmi: The first pikaclone to evolve, it only took us two decades after pikaclones were introduced.

Pawmo: My roasts about electrode, but with the name placements swapped.

Pawmot: You're only known for being Nemona's signature pokemon.

Tandemaus and Maushold: The first pokemon to canonically have s€x.

Fidough: Butter dog, the dog with the butter.

Dachsbun: Gamefreak, are you never gonna give us a fire/fairy type!?

Smoliv: What can I say about it other than it's smol?

Doliv: If you find this hot, turn yourself into the police.

Arboliva: "Then I saw her face, now I'm Arboliva!"(I'm sorry for that crappy joke)

Squawkabilly: Introducing, Chatot 2.0! Comes in four different flavors, blueberry, sour apple, lemon, and vanilla.

Nacil, Naclstack, and Garganacl: "Insert Minecraft joke here"

Charcadet: It's just a child.

Armarouge: Megamen but red.

Ceruledge: The edgy Armarouge.

Tadbulb: Who put a tadpole in a lightbulb!?

Bellibolt: You'd think with how much Iono hyped this pokemon up that it would be her signature pokemon, but no.

Wattrel and Kilowattrel: The better wingull and Peliper.(I feel like a lot of people want me dead now)

Maschiff: It's dex entry speaks for itself.

Mabosstiff: I can't roast a pokemon Arven loves dearly and jumped through so many hoops to keep alive.

Shroodle: It barley looks anything like the pokemon it evolves into!

Grafaiai: it's a spray paint gremlin.

Bramblin and Brambelghast: Someone round them up before they accidentally ravage Paldea to a wasteland!

Toedscool: I used to hate it until I saw it run with its feet tentacles.(it's so funny)

Toedscreul: It's just as cruel as the pokemon it's based on.

Klawf: I'm so happy that everyone gets to eat the crab this time.

Capsakid: The fact that people use its teeth for cooking makes me uncomfortable.

Scovillan: Why does the green head use fire moves when it's red peppers that are spicier?

Rellor: It's a dung beetle with the face of a proboscis monkey, need I say more?

Rabsca: So is the ball it carries its baby or it's soul, it seems like the pokedex can't make up its mind.

Flittle: This thing looks like candy.

Espathra: The Lady Gaga pokemon.

Tinkatink, Tinkatuff, and Tinkaton: Someone call steel type protective services!

Wiglett: It's a goofy eel!

Wugtrio: They look like hotdogs.

Bombirder: This is definitely a dark twist on the baby delivering stork.

Finizen: Finally, after eight generations, we have a dolphin pokemon.

Palafin: It's ironic that the dolphin pokemon is a hero when real life dolphins are evil.

Varoom and Revavroom: Is the first poison/steel types being egines supposed to be a social commentary on how gas cars are bad for the environment?

Cyclizar: Behold, lizard bike!

Orthworm: How can I roast orthworm when it is such derp baby?

Glimmet: It looks like a certain type of plug.

Glimmora: Why was this Geeta's ace instead of kingambit!?

Grevard: This dog is cute yet terrifying at the same time.

Houndstone: The "why isn't this a rock type" pokemon.

Flamigo: I know the design isn't really creative, but I'm glad we finally got a flamingo pokemon.(I've been wanting one ever since I saw a fake leak of an flamingo based Alolan dodrio.)

Cetoddle: It's a baby whale, I can't roast that.

Cetitan: Looks way stronger than it actually is.

Vuluza: Leave me alone, damn you!

Dondozo: This is just wishcash on steroids.

Tatsugiri: Mmmm sushi....

Annihilape: Poor primape, no one cared about it until it died.

Clodsire: It looks like an éclair.

Dudunsparce: The joke evolution dunsparce deserved.

Kingambit: Why is this pokemon thicc!?

Great Tusk: This pokemon is a badass mammoth, what's there to make fun of!?

Scream Tail: The second shiny I've ever failed.(I thought the regular had red eyes)

Brute Bonnet: Why does it have three legs?

Flutter Mane: You're not a paradox pokemon, you're just a misdreavus with crazier hair, don't lie.

Slither Wing: This is actually a really cool design.

Sandy Shocks: This past paradox makes the least amount of sense!(that's probably the point though)

Iron Threads: It's clear which version had more thought put into their paradox designs.

Iron Bundle: Is this supposed to be a social commentary about how fake and consumeristic Christmas has become?

Iron Hands: "Alright, Pinhead. You're time is up"

Iron Jungulis: Is that even a word!?

Iron Moth and Iron Thorns: It's just Mothra and Mecha Godzilla.

Frigibax, Arctibax, and Baxcalibur: These are all just icy Godzillas!

Gimmigoul: This has got to be one of the most annoying pokemon to evolve!

Gholdengo: It looks like a mascot for string cheese.

Wo-Chien: This is the third grass/dark type in this game!

Chien-Pao: It has the least realistic design out of the four.(But they're still my favorite)

Ting-Lu: I've heard of pinhead but I've never heard of domehead!

Chi-Yu: How are you able to see if you have beads for eyes?

Roaring Moon: This is just an improved redesign of mega salamance.

Iron Valiant: The only future paradox worth catching outside of completing the pokedex.

Koraidon and Miraidon: So Arven's parents, were these pokemon worth dying over!?

Walking Wake and Iron Leaves: So what will you choose? An awesome and ferocious water dragon beast, or a robotic deer thing?

Dipplin: Mmmm caramel apple....

poltchageist: As sadistic as most other ghost types.

Sinistcha: Tis just proves that the ghost type is actually the evil type and not the dark type.

Okidogi: Literally just a green buff doge.

Munkidori: The new ugliest psychic type.

Fezandipiti: Damn, look at those eyelashes!

Ogrepon: She killed the loyal three just because they stole her masks, I don't think that's a proportional punishment.(J.K I know she didn't kill them on purpose)

Blood Moon Ursaluna: It's a zombie bear.(not really)

Raging Bolt: "It's a giraffe!"

Iron Crown: Definatly boring when compared to raging bolt.

Archladon: Ah yes, buildings definitely evolve into bridges.

Terapagos: This pokemon looks terrible without its makeup.

(How do you like that, Sylveon!? I roasted Paldea and Kitakami before you!)

[ectonurites]

in general if ur writing in a comic era u shld have the effects of the deaths in that era like. i dont read much batman fic anymore but when i did (when tim was revealed as bi) i got super pissed at ppl straight up ignoring alfreds death in fanfic like. baby pls accept hes gone

YEAH... YEAH.

Like, okay: I'm not gonna tell people what to do. people can write whatever fanfic they wanna write with whatever circumstances, i do not control what other people do for fun and i'm not even remotely going to attempt to...

HOWEVER stuff that just completely ignores things like that is like, an immediate reason i will click away from something, personally. i will always admit that full 100% canon compliance within comic book fanworks is a joke of a concept because the comics contradict themselves plenty so there's absolutely a certain amount of 'fic authors need to pick what version of events they are going to go with' but like. still.

when it's something like that, Alfred's death which has been a thing since like 2019, and many people still just pretend it didn't happen............... that is just not what i personally want to read. acknowledging what happened and the grief that comes with it—even as a side-element in an otherwise unreleated story—is so so so much more interesting to me. (also yes there's been some like. zombie-ish sorta stuff w him in canon since then, but he's still been treated as Dead. that's still the status quo for him at the moment and it has been for a few years now)

saying this for the millionth time though because i do not want anyone to misinterpret what i'm saying: i am talking about my personal preferences, not trying to say as a general rule people are Bad for ignoring things from canon. it's just a tad bit frustrating imo how prevalent the ignoring is.

[mejomonster]

My question is how is justice in the dark going to indicate/hint the sexual tension though. (Yes suspend disbelief for a second I know it's likely it's just thoroughly cut or minimized to get to air period)

Just like. So far in the 8 eps it's stuck super close to all the elements of their connection besides the part of fei du making sexual jokes/come ons and Luo wenzhou eventually responding. Like, super close, to the point I'm quite satisfied and happy and over the moon they feel so much like they Should feel. Luo Weizhao is literally depicted as Pei Sus light in the abyss (like the title! Which is named after this), Luo Weizhao is literally his Home, his most emotionally intimate connection, that's very clear in the show.

I'm just. Curious how they'll either rework the sexual tension flirting to be Showable OR replace it with something? Because like take Tao Ze for example. Pei Su's flirting from the book is pretty much taken entirely and put on the show, except the one sexual implication joke "inviting me up to your house already isn't that moving a little fast." For all intents you can assume Pei Su IS courting Tao Ze. In retrospect, for a "straight audience" you can say pei su was just worried he'd lose his only stable emotional relationship but like... 1. That is actually true to book canon anyway so it's not necessarily wrong, 2. It's really hard to... not see Pei Su's specific treatment of Tao Ze as romantic pursuit moves, even if the reason is just "I don't want to lose my ge to his changing life leaving me behind." He asks him to get food, he gets Turned Down specifically by Tao Ze, he gets him a coffee machine and Very Pointedly says the girl should like Tao Ze which is him letting go and implying she should date him (and he'll let go of Tao Ze). Like I guess you could read it straight if... you're biphobic and think his flirting with girls rules out him courting Tao Ze?? But like except for cutting a line with sexual implications, so far Pei Sus been about as bi as I expected him to be. (Actually that seems the main thing cut - ALL of Fei Du's more sexual playboy inclinations are absent or only left implied in the show, which again makes me wonder how they'll handle that significant-chunk aspect of his and Luo Wenzhous interactions in the show).

If by luck the show can do as much as Guardian can (oh Zhao Yunlan asking Shen Wei if he's married cause he's such a catch, that did so much to set him up as into men and specifically shen wei framing their relationship interactions as with a flirtatious lean moving forward). Then I'm curious what they'll do? Since every bit of their relationship except a piece of it, so far is being handled fairly faithfully. Like... will they make Pei Su more romantically mushy inclined instead of "you want to try out sleeping with me?" Like is Pei Su gonna ask Luo Weizhao out to dinner, give him flowers, (I imagine bringing him food to station will be somewhere in show cause it's ambiguous enough), tell him he's pretty? Idk. The joke in the show in the car when Luo Weizhao says he's gonna sell Pei Su off and Pei Su says at least let me pretty up lol is the closest to their book sexual-leaning back and forth one ups that I caught so far. But I'm curious how the script writer adapted it more later? Because Tao Ze/Pei Su??? Definitely did get included in the show, but it had less of the sexual jokes in the book. Also just generally a cdrama might choose to tone that down, especially given its already dealing with heavy topics of drugs, prostitution, child abuse, family abuse, Pei Su being him (you almost kill a guy on screen as a cdrama protagonist? Color me surprised), police corruption. Oh and you know being a censored gay romance. I wouldn't be surprised if it wanted to tone down the sexual comments on its main characters.

On a mildly related note. I have a print copy of 默读 and I desperately wonder now if I got the uncensored print copy or the censored one. Because I have 2 copies of 镇魂 one simplified and one traditional, and both are uncensored, the simplified one actually has all the extra stuff too (it's my favorite version), the traditional is like the webnovel version with no Shen San extra. So like wherever I was buying my chinese print novels I got lucky with somehow getting the uncensored simplified edition before. I'm curious if my modu copy I also got lucky with.

Also reading modu in chinese has been a bizarre experience for me lately. I'm mainly reading the English translation right now. But on weibo I'll see fei/Luo excerpts and it'll be fine to read. But when I listen to the audiobook my brain feels fried with a lot of unknown words. And I remember reading it literally 6 months into learning with a machine translation next to the original text and I was absolutely drowning it'd take a week to read 1 chapter. Now I feel moderately drowning when it's description time in modu, but when it's character focused it's a very doable read. It's Harder to read than zhenhun. Also... to be fair, even in the English translation it uses a decent number of English words I don't know like maybe 10 a chapter. Which is pretty surprising as I usually am well read. So I suppose it's not surprising if I am confused by some words in English, I'm definitely confused about a few dozen words in the chinese version.

[hayleysayshay]

Cos I keep seeing some mentions of Cassandra joining Vox Machina AUs again and I can’t find my previous post on my blog, here’s some of my ideas:

Cassandra gets onto a ship as she runs away. She’s dropped off at an orphanage far south as she’s like 13. She eventually runs away when one of the workers clocks that she’s probably related to someone rich and wants to get a reward. She decides to live alone. As she’s young she’s inspired by stories of heroes.

She meets Vex and Vax who are like, super cool at their jobs as mercanaries and begs them to train her. They help her out of trouble and agree to drop her off at the next town. But she sticks around and they bond.

Cassandra goes by a random name with them (I’ve picked Lacey for now) and does not tell them her real name until the Briarwood arc. Cassandra is not tempted by vengeance, instead she just can’t handle the grief so decides to not think about her past.

She travels with Vex and Vax until they meet Vox Machina. She becomes close with all of them and Scanlan gets dad feels (after initially being like ‘why are you travelling with a child??’ Though she’s like 17 at this point).

I think a traumatic scene of death of a family could really trigger a depressive spiral in Cassandra (as she’s been bottling stuff up for years) as she’s reminded of her own family, which leads to her past being revealed. I like to think she makes some sort of temporary deal with some sort of demons to see a glimpse of her family in the afterlife or something fucked up and she realises Percy is alive.

They go to Uriel who is like ‘ I literally can’t declare war on your word but I’ll send a diplomatic mission to Whitestone’ and VM tag along.

The diplomatic mission is Kima, Allura and Jarrett and a bunch of guards

Things quickly go tits up in Whitestone and a rebellion is started. Also the Briarwoods rly don’t have any prior warning so uh… no sun tree bodies?

They basically go straight to the castle and discover Ripley and she dies. Later we see that Anders escapes.

They confront the Briarwoods in the middle of the castle and that’s where the main fight is. I think the Briarwoods basically offer to free Percy in exchange for Vox Machina to leave and never return and Cassandra is tempted but they’ve basically left Allura Kima and Jarrett helping the rebellion so she just can’t and then Percy starts helping the Briarwoods fight Vox Machina as he’s been turned oh noooo. Basically if they had left Percy would have tried to get Cassandra alone to kill her there. I also like to think during the fight Percy shoots Vex because I like the drama (like heals her immediately tho)

And then I think Keyleth would manage to cast a sunlight spell to disable the Briarwoods who flee and take one member of VM charmed with them. Percy is freed there and agrees to help.

The rest kind of proceeds the same as Percy has some knowledge of the Zigguraut to lead them there and he’s on their side.

I have some ideas that Cassandra throws herself in front of the finger of death for Vex and flat out dies. They resurrect her and Vex promises herself as a paladin for Pelor very impulsively to try and bring her back (idk not

Percy thinks that Cassandra’s friends are Knights of Emon and she is a noble Knight herself and then gets annoyed at VM that they dragged his baby sister around to be a mercenary. Vex and Vax honestly can’t really argue lol (for comedy though, all jokes)

Percy is generally really not okay. He invented the guns under a ripley (they do not get as sophisticated as we see in canon) before he tried to kill her, and then the Briarwoods decide to ‘take care’ of him instead. I think they’d care less about the emotional manipulation as he’s older and also clearly dangerous as he tried to kill Ripley so they leaned even more on magic.

Cassandra and Percy agree to co-rule Whitestone for now. Cassandra would like to stay with VM but she can see Percy is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. They do co rule but Cassandra finds she takes on most of the ruling, and eventually Percy leaves Whitestone in the middle of the night.

I think she’d join VM to help with the Chroma Conclave and then they eventually run into Percy again (perhaps in the fae wild?). After admonishing him they let him join in on his adventures.

[green-sky-smoke]

Sup. Im smoke, somehow now fan of helluva boss and hazbin hotel. I write headcanons and oneshots for fun. Big fan of x reader stuff, will do it.

My english can suck. If you want to help a bit with beta reading and explain some rules and correct usage of words - i will be extremely happy.

My interpretations and writing of characters may go straight up completely ooc too, if you try to correct me on this - please don't. I write what i want for fun. block me and support writers who you like, they need support more than i need criticism. Maybe reread their work, and say that their characterization is so good you come back to it, they will poop themself from happiness.

I plan no sexual scenes, tho jokes and swearing may appear a lot, depending on context. Im not exactly the writer to use much swears in my texts. If i do anything that would need warning - then i will warn you properly in summary, i don't have any spoilers to hide.

Feel free to send requests and just generally chat about things, would love to socialize in my new fandoms. Anon asks on.

request rules:

feel free to not read rules and just send it lmao. but keep it sfw

feel free if you like very niche obscure sfw tropes that may seem weird/fetish to someone. You won't seem weird for me, so share all kind of it :D

My tastes on writing characters etc are really too complicated to explain, so i won't even try. If request won't match it - i may just delete it and never reply even if your prompt is extremely good but not in my taste, sorry. So, copy them all!!! (im serious) and save somewhere, to send other writers. They may write things i won't and do it better than me!

one request per ask, please!

yall can request multiple characters per one request.

specify do you want romantic or platonic. and if you want to go further, lovehate, enemies, or frenemies, angst fluff etc.

I prefer more specific prompt over vague prompt.

examples:

"charactername and reader who is evil demon possesing their reflections and mirrors, who they can't just get rid of" = specific.

"Reader with X and Y interest and Charactername celebrate Christmas together "

"character reaction when they they found out that the other character love someone else and plan to break up" = specific.

"charactername and canon/reader?" = vague.

You can ask for just any characters headcanons and i would give you them. :D

You can include some headcanons or ooc things you want to include, etc. can make angel not so horny lol or rude character softer. Canon barely exist for me and i can (and will) change character's traits freely. Can make aroace char into rose romantic and pan, or make any character aroace too. they're fictional after all! Can go with aus too (swaping characters, or making demon character angel etc).

feel free to spam as much different requests as you need, i will close em if i will get enough.

I do x reader mostly!!! That'll most easy and likely for me.

can do Canon x Canon. You may request rarepairs like fizzxstriker, or blitzxverosika, etc, i love crackpairings, thinking about certain situations characters may end up in, and think how different characters can get along. If you request popular or canon pairing ( like stolitz, or millie x moxxie - i prefer to have more prompt since i don't create content for them, and don't want to write something that pairing fans saw thousand times.)

Don't send asks with oc x canon. tho i don't mind, you may try your luck, i would love to hear about hellaverse ocs or selfinserts, and ask questions. Im big oc x canon fan and can read loredumps about ocs and i love when people really creative and thoughtful with it, dm if you want to share, don't just send ask. I don't promise to write about them, but if we match (that'll be a miracle but it may happen), i can.

can go both with oneshots or headcanon bullet lists, what i see more fit.

[segment--uta]

So info thing hsls

Tis a roleplay blog for a segment, specifically Uta. Or also like one of Dottore's segments. Around probably mid 20s or so ?? I don't really have a specific timeframe in mind so there's that but yeah. Kinda think young(/ish) and can kind of be chaos often? That's the best way I can describe it I think—

・❥ That established, they use they/he. Alternative, doesn't care which is specifically used, so long as it's those. Or it. They also vibe with it so that can work

・❥ They are very much with the Fatui. Apart from that, he isn't really affiliated with really any other group. Does not seek it out. Feels no need to. Could probably get him to join something though tbh, but Fatui will always be the main group

・❥ OCs or Canon characters, either or. They might have some relation to some canons though already in mind, so keep that in mind probably? The other segments and Dottore/Prime himself for example. If it comes across a certain way (ie rivalry/dislike, cough cough Diluc n others who do not like the Fatui particularly) that's probably the reason! Might not be on purpose rip

・❥ Uta is demiromantic demi-graysexual. Please keep that in mind if you are trying to be romantic rp wise. It will take a while and intimate type activities are not priority. Unless it's a pre-decided relationship, which in that case you get to deal with Uta being lovey-ish. Kind of

・❥ Specific 'build' would likely be the Eta build.

~Specific tags time~

✧ behind the scenes —— the OOC. For announcements and really everything that isn't roleplay. Like this lol

✧ uta is nearby . . —— Starter sort of. Can be used to start RPs/interactions and stuff ! And just generally there. Locations will probably be specific in the message so tis just that (or if you want a specific location, specify n will go with that)

✧ uta answers questions . . —— The askbox! If it's an IC ask, say for RP n all, this'll be used. Otherwise its the ooc one for asks :3

⧎ Interactive chats . . —— Like the IC ask, but for general purposes in roleplay instead. Ie when someone is responded to / rbed and is during RP

Askbox rules.

✧ Keep in mind that there is a person behind this screen. If you want to hate or dislike this / genshin, that's more than alright, but please don't bring this in my inbox. Block and move on. If you really have a problem please just message me instead. Hate will be deleted. IC dislike and hate is one thing and is fine, it's more alright considering different relations + characters, but if you are genuinely trying to be rude, don't. It will just get deleted.

✧ No straight up NSFW and such things. Suggestive might be fine depending on the character and the relation. If you're actually looking for that, you'd probably want to be on good terms with Uta. Otherwise it will probably not be received well. It really depends for suggestive stuff. Joking wise it might be fine + OOC.

✧ Please be patient. Depending on how many asks, esp if there's many rps going on, it may take a while to get to yours. I promise I'm not ignoring you. I might not have seen it either if Tumblr decides to eat it.

✧ Roleplay in asks is fine. All I ask is that you specify who you are/who character is (unless you want to be an anon instead n stuff) and sign off so I can note that properly n keep track of who it is + relation to Uta.

Other things to note

🂱 Responses will probablyyyy be lengthy or detailed. Might also last a while rip—

-->> "" used for talking, actions and such (ie expressions) will just be words/wrote. Thoughts will probably be smaller text. Like that

🂱 Uta is the same segment as @uta-official . Same segment that's used there :3

🂱 As for specific user or character tags, dunno yet actually! Might be like ' ✧ ⊹⊱[User/Chara]⊰⊹ interactions ' ? I think it'll be that. Anons will be specific anon n probably that also!

I think that's about it,,,askbox is open, feel free to interact if wanted.

Dunno what else to put but hemlo there ppl :3

[benis-chillin]

My Sonic stories(2021 and 2022)

And now, to wrap this all up, the stories that made up these posts!

Now, admitably, this is entirely self-indulgant, since barely anybody reads these stories to begin with, but hey, even if they're not well-loved babies, they're still MY babies, and I'm proud of them, damnit!

So, going in canonical order, let's start with...

3 Tales of the Chaotix-The Great Train Conspiracy

Timeline place: After Sonic Adventure(duh)

Just a story made to fill up the first slot in my micro-anthology. Despite the 3 chapter format being, well, 3 chapters, I actually had a hard time filling this slot up...Until I decided to throw shit at the metaphorical wall, and came up with an insane ninja plot thread. Sure, before then, we had jokes I loved, like Espio and Vector getting caught up in the detective stuff, while Charmy just points out the obvious computer, but the story was shaping up to be incredibly dull before I threw the ninjas into the mix, and now it's one of my favorite pieces that I've written. Heck, I had to rush it a bit to have it out in September, since I needed the Werehog story to be out in October becasue spooky month, so the fact that it's as good to my eye as it is, quite frankly, is a miracle.

3 Tales of the Chaotix-Werehog Hunting

Timeline place: During Sonic Unleashed(loosely)

This story was inspired a bit by Sonic Colors: Rise of the Wisps. Basically, if you've hung around Sonic Twitter for about 5 minutes, you may have noticed the constant demand for a Sonic Unleashed PC port(btw, why isn't Colors Ultimate on Steam yet, Sega?)that has not happened yet. So, when Sega put out these shorts to promote their latest re-release, featuring a character that wasn't there canonically before this point, in a manner that REALLY stretches things, I started thinking of what they might do with Sonic Unleashed, leading me to guess at Team Chaotix showing up. From there, the story took shape, and was more than ready within a couple of days.

And now to the OC shit.

Then and Now-A Wolf's Remembrance

Timeline place:Before Prototypes

Yeah, a more recent work is the earliest canonical stuff involving my characters. And that's not counting all of the flashbacks, of course.

I think the story mostly speaks for itself, of a guy mourning the lost love of his life, while still cherishing what he has now. To be honest, what mainly formed the story was the idea that Jack didn't particularly like coffee, but that his dislike of it was actually what made him fond of it. Before then, this anthology was just gonna be two separate short stories for Cyber and Raccoon, with Those who left us behind serving as Jack's focus story. But of course, I think giving him this was much better of a choice, as it gives me a short, no commitment selection of stories I can point to for anyone curious about these characters.

Prototypes

Timeline place: Between Issues 36 and 37 of IDW Sonic

So...This is the big one.

Now, it should be noted that a general rule about fanfiction and continuity is that your work is always more or less an AU, no matter what you do. Most people take this as an opportunity to just add whatever they want into their fanfics, continuity be damned. However, I am, as the kids say, built different, and find this approach to be lazy unless you're doing like, a full-on reboot of your own making, from the ground up. The Archie Sonic reboot is a good counter to my argument in terms of mainstream works, as that world is familiar enough to the games to be recognizable, but considerably more people have heard of the Archie reboot vs Sonally fanfic #1,233,455,005. People need a solid jumping-on point for a continuity like that, and the sad fact about text-based fanfic is that you're rarely gonna get an audience like the Archie Reboot got, no matter how hard you try. Thus, my approach is very similar to that of the actual IDW writers: Take the main continuity, and build straight off from that, explaining characterization and continuity flubs in ways that won't interfere with the narrative of the next mainline game, or in my case, the IDW comics.

However, one neat thing is that we do have some unintentional continuity on both ends. You see, a throwaway interaction in Prototypes goes like this:

"I suppose we could've missed something while going through those old labs after the war...Knuckles wasn't the best at organizing things that didn't involve fighting." Sonic said, scratching his chin. "Yeah, and the transition to MY leadership wasn't the cleanest." Amy added. "I'll have to organize with Jewel later to see what else we might have missed."

And then, in IDW #37, we get this line from Amy:

Obviously, this line was more written in relation to Jewel's slight freakout at the end of the Metal Virus arc when everyone was fighting that Eggman robot, but still, pretty neat how that ended up lining up, huh?

So anyway, this story was written because I was fairly fresh off of playing Forces at the time, and I was depressed because I couldn't mow my lawn due to all of the rain we were experiencing at the time. That is literally the reason why I started writing fanfic.

The story took form very quickly, all things considered. One version of the story had Jack mostly as he is now, but Cyber was more of an object in the story, sadly. The idea was that Cyber's parts weren't very well implemented, so Jack would've gone to Eggman to try and save her life, to which he's like, "Sure, just kill Sonic first, BITCH!" Obviously, Sonic would befriend him, Tails would save Cyber, and the two would've ridden off into the sunset, two OCs never to be seen again. I rejected that idea within a day or two, and once Raccoon was conceived of, the story became what it is today, the start of a series.

The story was still a lot more rushed than it should've been, barely having any time in the editing phase, and staler ideas like setting it in the Mystic Jungle from Forces could've been weeded out, but as a first work, it isn't TOO bad, I guess.

Then and Now-A Bear's Musings

Timeline place: Before Family Reunion.

Poor Raccoon doesn't get a lot of chances for meaningful character work. The reason is twofold, since on one hand, he's a less verbal character, and on the other, he's rarely the focus of stories. He's like a big dog in many ways, meant to be more cute than anything, but I still wanted(and do want)to get into his perspective on life, which is another thing that I think this story speaks for itself on. The two main things of note is that Raccoon doesn't know what meat is actually made of(and whenever he does find out, I personally think he'll become a vegetarian. Just fits the character's perspective), and that his flashback chapter, along with Cyber's, was originally created for Those who left us behind, but was cut for flow. Jack's flashback chapter is the only one originally created for that story.

3 Tales of the Chaotix-Family Reunion

Timeline place: Sometime before Issue 41 of IDW Sonic, which leaves the Chaotix free to be in this story before their appearance in Zeti Hunt.

Actually the first one written for this collection of stories, since I was still on my high from Prototypes. It became more of a thing once the Werehog story got conceived, and well, the story more or less wrote itself from there. Interestingly, despite having such a big old OC-focused story, 3 Tales actually did fairly well when I released the AO3 version, and I wouldn't mind making a sequel someday to capitalize on that.

Only other thing of note is that I did make a reference Avatar for Angie when I wrote this. Here's that pic for posterity.

Reflections

Timeline place: During Zeti Hunt(if we fudge it)

Seems to me like Shadow would've been involved in the Zeti situation somehow, since that is a pretty major fight, so it's weird that he wasn't. Nor were Rouge and Omega. So, through some retroactive continuity(for both this bit of IDW fanon, and for me as a writer, because I did NOT write this story with that intention), we'll say that Team Dark were busy in the East River Forest for this mission, and just kinda missed all of that. Plus, it leaves time for Sonic to show up at the end, since the Zeti are launched back towards the Lost Hex in the early evening, and the ending of Reflections is basically in the middle of the night. Sure, Sonic went off to try and find Belle, but the Chaotix seemed to handle that pretty quickly, and the Restoration surely had SOME time to get some volunteers together for a rescue. The Zeti didn't actually DO that much damage, is all I'm saying.

Anyway, the idea behind this story is fairly simple: I like Shadow, love Shadow Androids, and I like my OCs. It's a recipe made in heaven.

Or hell, depending on who you ask.

Some ideas were there from the start, like Cyber being a Shadow fangirl, Omega's line about Raccoon "getting it," the base being aquatic themed, the basics. As mentioned back in Cyber's post, the base being underwater would've led to her saving Shadow from drowning after the water started pouring in at the end, leading to her nearly drowning and having those backplates used to manually expel the water from her lungs since I don't think she can really cough. However, I felt that the two teams interacted well enough without that, and the Wisps getting involved made that rescue unnecessary anyway. Still would've been cool, though.

This story has also started a slight running gag I'm putting in where any story I write involving Shadow has 1 usage of "Damn" in it. Because I unironically like that game. Don't think anyone noticed, though.

UPDATE: 6/18/23 Well, the 2023 revision is now out, which was made primarily because of the Eggperial City arc in the IDW comics contradicting my story entirely. Now, it would’ve been easy to just IGNORE this arc and say my work was in a universe basically identical to IDW except for that one detail...But I view that idea as lazy, and the story needed a few fixes to Shadow’s characterization in hindsight anyway, so I just took the opportunity to revise both it and Prototypes to better fit with both the continuity, and with how I write now.

Now, it’s been changed so that the Shadow Androids encountered in this story are a rogue off-shoot from Eggman’s efforts, so I’m free to do whatever I want with the concept. Which should be fun.

Crawl Walk or Run.

Timeline placement: Sometime before issues 45-47

There's a gap between here and Zeti Hunt. We're gonna use it.

This story came from me wanting a new Riders game, and naturally having fun just conceiving ideas for such a project. From that point on, it was just a matter of re-engineering those ideas into a story. I think the Avatar feature from Forces would do great for a Riders game, so I made the Avatar a human and developed Lucy from it. Her thing about being rejected from Extreme Gear tournaments for her species was not only to try and make sure she didn't fall into Mary Sue territory, but was also a meta joke about the series' attitude towards humans up to when it was written...Though that one Tailstube episode coming out before publishing hurt that point a bit. I also really deliberated whether or not she'd win or not, but I decided to do that by the end since she's a one-off. Happy endings and all that. Her race is also purposefully ambiguous.

King Dodon Pa's involvement came from the game idea, too, since he was created for racing storylines, and it gave Sonic and co. an in for this race, given the charity premise of their involvement. This also gave me the ability to use Glamor Chao, an OC I made back in 2020 which is a combination of Bruce Campbell's role in the 2002 Spider-man movie, his sarcastic tutorials in the Raimi games, and of course, OmoChao. I envisioned him as the next model in the OmoChao line, a sort of mean version of the concept.

(BTW, the OCs from this story are free to be used if you want)

Shadow, Rouge, and Omega's plot came from the idea of the game having a sort of open world to get missions from, with various storylines you could do for the assorted Sega characters alongside the main one. I just chose to focus on the Omega romance plot because I like Team Dark.

And of course, Little Planet and the Time Eater being our sort of "final boss" for this story are the final notes from the game concept, as I think those would be good decisions to end the game on.

TL/DR: Sega, hire this man! I need the money, and a new Sonic Riders game!

Those who left us behind.

Timeline place: ambiguous, since no canon characters appear besides that warden guy, but we'll say it happens sometime before the dead space we call issues 45-47, just so we can maintain the forward momentum. Cyber didn't go on the camping trip because...She was busy? Idk.

Ah, my neglected baby. I always knew my OCs couldn't get by purely by crossing over with canon Sonic characters, but nobody is in the market for purely OCs outside of artwork, so I knew this one was gonna take a hit. Still though, of all the Wolf 6 works, this one is probably my favorite, since I tried to handle slightly more complicated character work like the reason behind Jack's refusal to boot Edge off of Wolf 6, trying to make sure Spike didn't come off as a complete jackass just because she's a bit rougher, properly establishing WHY Edge belongs in prison, and of course, Jack accepting that he gave Edge too many chances...While also making the wrong decision at the end. A decision that I'm sure will haunt him moving forward. However, in order to do character work, you need to accept that your characters won't have all of the information that you do, and thus, they must make logical decisions based on what they know, which is what happened here.

I'm gonna stop talking about it here, because I want you to actually read this one. 

GO! It's a good read! Benis approves of his own work for once, damn.

Then and Now-A Canary's Day Out.

Timeline place: After Those who left us behind.

As stated before, her origin was originally written for TWLUB as an ending for that story, but got booted here when editing happened. The actual main story is based off of two things: Firstly, I had an idea for a "girl's night out" kind of story with Amy and the rest of the female canon and IDW crew meeting her and hanging out while having a night on the town. This is where ideas like the hat-stealing kid and the Karen came from. I made the decision to reduce it to a character piece on Cyber with a guest appearance by Amy pretty quickly, though, since I'm a proud kissless virgin, AND the owner of a below-average penis, so I try to be aware of the "men writing women" trope. Would still like to write a Cyber and Spike focused story someday, though.

Anyway, the second inspiration is...A bit more shameful. Over the past two-three years, I have been coming to terms with a great amount of anxiety I have, mainly in unwelcoming social situations. So, when I decided to try and switch plasma donation centers to save on gas due to being deferred a lot at the time(I was getting the hang of making sure my vitals are in check), I went to a Grifols that was PACKED, and while trying to get into a spot to stand and wait, this one woman, in a tone probably far harsher than she meant, was like, "COULD YOU NOT STAND SO CLOSE TO ME!?"

Like, I had barely even shifted close to her, but she came at me like that. Combine that with the overall unwelcoming atmosphere of the people, and the fact that my local Grifols looks like a supervillain lab from every 90's action movie, and you have a recipe for pure anxiety. I tried to tough it out for an hour, but ultimately, I had to dip out and just try to get into a rhythm at CSL(which is a LOT more welcoming).

But yeah, that experience in severe self-consciousness got me off my butt on writing the story, since I knew Cyber would be going through some of the same stuff I was trying to calm down from. In that way, writing helps above all else for me, so long as I have my research in order.

So, in summary, read my shit, fuck Grifols plasma, and hopefully in this new year, I can talk about some non-Sonic fics. Maybe my seasonal Batman Beyond reboot will finally get finished and release? Maybe I'll finally do some Power Rangers, or that Scott the Woz and Scooby-Doo crossover I wanna do? Idk, guess we'll see.

Anyway, thanks for enduring all of this. Here's the masterlist post for all the links you could possibly want:

https://www.tumblr.com/benis-chillin/706450181935218688/sonic-the-hedgehog-fanfiction-link-masterlist?source=share

[hillerska-official]

Wille’s LED Lights

So I think a lot of us will recall the colour theory post of yore. I reference this post all the time, but as I am wont to do I put too much thought into a joke and now I’ve read the entire Wikipedia article on colour psychology and am here to psychoanalyze my baby boy.

I think the most important thing to take away about colour psychology is just how shaky it is - eg. the article cites one study which showed men perceiving a RED screen as lasting longer than an equivalent BLUE screen, but notes that another study found the exact opposite result. 

A lot of the reason for this probably comes down to the second and sixth of 6 principles listed in the article: reaction to colour can be either learned OR innate, and the meaning of a colour is affected by context. This means there is a differing effect based on factors like age, gender, culture, and personal experiences, which I think is important in considering how colour will effect a young, queer*, cultural figurehead like Wille - he exists very much outside of the studied ‘norm’.

*unlabeled, but I say queer here to note that he is specifically not straight, and as such does not conform to some gendered rules of society (specifically regarding his attraction to other genders within canon, but also his own identity for the he/they Wille fans out there).

So what do Wille’s red LED lights mean?

There are a few basic observations to be made: red has been linked to positive performances in sports, which is interesting given Wille’s position on the rowing team (as well as his referenced past in riding). It is also linked with skin pallor, denoting things like health or higher levels of testosterone. Extroverts have shown a preference for warmer colours such as red, and seeing how he parties even when he isn’t mid-life-shattering-tragedy, the boy does like to get out despite his sometimes shy demeanor.

Moving on to the real colour theory though, the person in the meme was technically correct in saying red tends to have more positive associations than negative: lust, power, excitement, and love are all things the article lists as being commonly associated with the colour red. We really see all of these crop up at one point or another in Willes storyline, as well as the major negative connotation red has: anger.

(as a side note, the study which connects red to arousal/attractiveness was specifically conducted on straight people which I think is simultaneously unsurprising, hilarious, and totally unhelpful to me!)

Anyways I think that it’s very interesting that red is associated with both good and bad emotions, and is one of the most cited examples throughout the whole article - if nothing else, humans NOTICE the colour red. I think the wide range of emotion connected to the colour is very reflective of Willes complex and turbulent emotions throughout s1 of Young Royals, and the fact that they are most prominently displayed (i.e. they’re on) when he is torn between things,  tells us that in a way they can mean all of these various emotions, even all at once. Red is Wille’s crossroads.

1. When Simon invites Wille to the soccer game (a choice between Simon and rowing practice)

2. When Wille asks Simon to delete his story from Instagram (he’s looking at the school handbook, obviously contemplating what he wants)

3. After he and Simon have broken up and he’s hiding in his room (Changes in their relationship status)

4. When Alex comes by to bring Wille to the Society meeting/party (This is the opposite end of their breakup, just before the football field scene).

(You can see each of these moments, plus the times they appear off, here.)

A fun colour theory bonus to congratulate you on reading this whole thing:

YELLOW, which appears prominently in the lighting of some of our favourite Wilmon scenes (morning after, fish tank, Lucia) is the colour generally preferred by babies before they become cognizant of cultural expectations surrounding colour, which means the golden-yellow light these scenes are bathed in is innately good/pleasing to humans before our and societies expectations weigh us down, as they do Wille and Simon throughout the show.

[dittomander]

Do you have any LGBTQ+ headcanons for EoA?

heck yeah I do 😎 and yes they change all the time lmao.

(second anon: I'm assuming you mean for EoA - you didn't actually specify, but that *is* kinda my brand of answered asks, so if you meant something different you'll have to let me know)

I don't know if I've actually talked about this in a post before, but it's actually very rare for me to have "true" headcanons in the sense that I treat them as "canon" in my head, for sexuality or gender or anything else. I'm prone to rotate ideas around at a moment's notice if I want to explore something else. I like alternate interpretations, y'know? That said, I do still have some common patterns that I tend to fall back on, and some of these are definitely more concrete than others:

Main Cast (in no particular order):

Gabe: bisexual, with a tilt toward women. He kiiinda knew he liked guys as well when he was younger, but sort of put it on a back burner until he joined the guard and very abruptly found himself having to confront it. Pretty casually out to most everyone, except for his parents. (Blanca knows - she’s also bi. Roberto hasn’t figured it out yet, though post-Olaball he’d be very supportive, if a bit confused, if he were to find out.) He's a little in love with all of his best friends.

Naomi: also bi, also with a tilt toward women. she thought she was gay when she was younger and initially came out to her parents as such, and then again later when she realized she was actually bi. the first time was very carefully planned out and rehearsed and maybe a little defensive, which it didn't need to be - she hadn't been subtle, and her folks had already figured. The second time was a blunt and casual "so turns out - 'm bi" through a mouthful of eggs at breakfast one morning. She and Gabe joke about having very similar taste.

Elena: aspec, and that’s about how much I can narrow it down, because the particular variety of aspec I hc her as changes pretty much daily, if not more often. The two I toggle between the most often though are demi-pan (romantic & sexual) and aroace. she's not especially tethered to her gender and wobbles along a line between demigirl and agender, but still generally uses feminine terms for herself - sister/granddaughter/prima and princess/queen are titles, not genders. despite being aspec (or perhaps because of it), she always ends up being the person her friends go to for dating advice.

Mateo: a roulette wheel full of question marks, and I don’t mean that I haven’t thought about it; I mean that I’ve thought about it a lot and I still have no idea, and honestly I don’t think Mateo does either. I think he thinks he’s straight. I doubt that he is, although I do have transhet Mateo on the aforementioned roulette wheel, so I haven't ruled it out entirely. I've got his gender on rotation as well - my most common take is "his gender is Wizard", because let's face it, that's a more significant part of his identity than anything else ever will be.

Isa: a true scientist at heart, she feels the need to both A: experiment, and B: categorize. she does a lot of research into microlabels and neogenders and rotates through several, taking notes on how she feels about each one and trying to codify the distinctions between how she feels about different people so that she can get the exact precise label to describe herself. Elena initially assumes Isa is doing it out of anxiety, but the specificity is part of the fun for her. I'm not sure what she settles on, if she ever does, but whatever she's into includes girls.

Esteban: gay and/or aspec. Definitely had a thing with Victor when he was younger. Definitely ended badly. The two of them were just getting on speaking terms again when they met Shuriki, and, uh, we all know how that one ended.

Francisco & Luisa: bi and closeted & the ultimate straight ally, respectively. They're the Cool Grandparents when it comes to their grandkids' and their friends' identities. Raúl's side of the family was a bit more traditional than them back in the day, but Francisco and Luisa's own marriage was considered "non-traditional" once since Francisco married outside of nobility, so they're very open to a lot of very queer stuff just on principle.

Assorted extras/recurring characters that I have opinions on:

Victor: very bi, with historically very terrible taste. Also as the only non-acespec of the pre-Shuriki amigos, he was the resident member of the friend group that was always like "isn't so-and-so the hottest person ever?" and all his asexual friends were just like "Victor this is just some guy. what."

Carla: aromantic allosexual - she treads a line between wanting a romance and feeling uncomfortable with the concept. she likes it in theory and used to fantasize about getting swept away by a prince when she was little, but realized as she got older that that was more about the comfort and stability than anything else, since when she was actually being presented with romance she was feeling uneasy (the sheer vibes from her little grimace when Elena is telling the romantic sunflower festival story, and from how quickly she jumps from the novelty of her parents being back together to thinking they're being gross...)

Marisa & Marzel: listen.... if you line up Elena, Marisa, and Marzel in Song of the Sirenas, their outfits make the bi flag.... I’m just saying.... that said! they'd be bi/pan by human standards, but sirenas don't exactly operate on the human gender binary and are generally much more fluid with their gender identities than humans, and by extension, with their sexualities. there are chemical signals in their tails that are visible to other sirenas (and possibly under UV light? undecided if this is a science thing or a magic thing) that change with their current gender to communicate information about it to others.

Feli: heteroromantic asexual. she thought she might be gay when she was younger since she knew she wasn't quite into guys the same way her straight peers were, and pre-Shuriki, she and Elena briefly experimented with a romantic relationship. It didn't work out, for obvious reasons, but ended very amicably, and Feli eventually figured out what her deal was. Ricardo was straight, but respected Feli's boundaries, and her asexuality was a big part as to why the two never had kids.

Val: I waffle between bi and lesbian for her, specifically. she tends to process her attraction as frustration, of the "get out of my school" variety. she likes someone? okay, so she's gotta be better than them- She mellows out with age and with a more robust friend group.

Alonso: I generally hc him as bi as well but honestly I do kinda think it'd be hilarious if he was the royal friends' Token Straight. He took his lessons about honesty from A Lava Story to heart, but it does take him a bit to realize that what he would consider impressive might not be to someone else.

Chloe: bisexual, with a preference for men. she tends to be very over-eager in romantic relationships the same way she is with friendships, and needs someone that is both very clear about defining their boundaries, and also very clear about confirming hers.

Rebeca: pansexual. she often gets very anxious before dates as her perfectionism starts to get the better of her, especially for big events like holidays or anniversaries.

Tomiko: oh, well she's just a massive lesbian, isn't she? she's got a pen-pal girlfriend at Cariza's science academy that she met when Isa and Cat decided they needed more hands on deploying the gondola project. Elena is very much her and her girlfriend's celebrity crush.

Vee: she's a demiromantic lesbian with a big 'ol childhood infatuation with Naomi that she'd been hanging onto for years. She fully expected to show up in Avalor and completely sweep Naomi off her feet, sail off with her into the sunset, all that jazz, which didn't quite go as planned. Having seen how Naomi changed over the years, she was finally able to let go and move on to seeking a different partner.

The Royal Guard: Rico is gay and Miguel is bi. In a sort of inverse situation to Gabe's, Antonia used to think she was bi and then after joining the guard and being around men far more frequently than she had been she was kinda like, "hm. maybe not," and now identifies as a lesbian.

Ixlan: nonbinary and sapphic. they mostly use gender-neutral language to refer to themself, but typically won't correct people on using gendered language unless they're directly asked. It's not that big of a deal to them to be considered one gender or another or multiple, they just won't talk about themself that way. There's a specific word in Maruvian for the gender they consider themself, but it doesn't really translate into modern Avaloran.

Rafa: oh, the possibilities! I like the idea of aroace Rafa, who never wanted a partner but did want a kid and so recruited a friend in town to help (or else just dug around in the basement for stuff to make a Potion of Spawn Child); I like the idea of lesbian Rafa, who figured that out from the tryst that resulted in Mateo and didn't exactly have time to get into a new dating pool before she had a kid to take care of and is getting to start fresh and really embrace her identity now that he's moved out; I like the idea of mspec Rafa and the wide range of possible backstories and post-canon stories it affords her; I just like the idea of Rafa lmao

Julio & Carmen: the more business-minded and methodical Julio is pansexual, while the more artistic and outspoken Carmen is asexual.

Doña Paloma: aroallo, like Carla, but she's had a few more decades to sort herself out and find her sweet spot as far as relationships go. she likes a good time but her heart will always belong to her business.

Antonio Agama: despite being something of an idealized, masculine sex symbol by some Avalorans, he's actually asexual. while he likes the adventuring in its own right, it was also always a convenient excuse to not have to spend the night with one of his admirers. "ah, but I can't resist the call of adventure! you'd only miss me in the morning - it's not meant to be, señorita." ...also he has an unrequited crush on Mendoza, who mostly finds him annoying.

[boldlyvoid]

Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea | Chapter 5-9

1Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

Word Count: 14.3K

1-4, 5-9, Epilogue

Chapter 5

Spencer agreed to a Thursday night game night in her office sometime last week, and she’s spent every day since then planning it out for him.

Learning that he really loved Tandoori chicken, making it from scratch at home and packaging it into a couple containers to bring into work. She followed a recipe from Pinterest, hoping it bared any resemblance to what he was used to, only changing full chicken to boneless bite size cutlets, because he couldn’t use a knife in the prison.

She got a chess set at the store, as well as a deck of playing cards for the Vegas boy. Rushing out her door early Thursday morning so she could stop and get a coffee and one of his favourite doughnuts too.

Deciding that she wasn’t going to tell him how she felt any time soon, just wanting to show him friendship and support until he was finally out of prison. Vowing to uphold her oath, he was a patient in her care, she would care for him as such until he wasn’t.

She carefully placed her lunchbox and the chess set on the security desk, letting them look through it as she waited. Taking out all the food from her bag, looking through the plastic to ensure she wasn’t sneaking in anything.

“It’s just my lunch for the next 2 days, I promise,” she smiled.

“I know, but I have to look anyway,” the nice man smiled. “Have a good day today Dr. Pat.”

“Thank’s, you too, officer Kyle,” she smiled, picking her things back up and heading past the gates.

Spencer was turning the corner towards the infirmary as she walked towards the door. Officer Wilkins holding him in handcuffs as he roughly walked Spencer to her office.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she stopped, looking at Wilkins like he was an idiot. “Un-cuff inmate Reid, he’s not a threat. Plus, he can hold some things for me.”

“Whatever,” he huffed, roughly taking the cuffs off Spencer's wrists before leaving. Not saying another word.

“What a dick,” she mumbled as she handed him the lunchbox.

“Good morning Spencer,” she changed her tone to match her growing smile.

He sighed, smiling back as he rubbed his wrists. “Good morning to you too, Y/N.”

She opened the infirmary door, walking past all the sleeping men in the care area. Unlocking her office before inviting Spencer in. “Sorry I was almost late,” she said softly, taking the chess set and a brown paper bag out of her purse.

She set it on Spencer's desk along with the coffee that was in her hand, “for all your help this week,” she smiled.

Spencer placed her lunchbox in her fridge, laying a hand on her back as he walked past her towards his desk. “You’re too kind to me,” he was bashful as always.

“I have something I wanted to talk to you about,” she closed the door softly, making sure the blinds on the doors window were closed as well.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he tried to joke as he sat down.

“I asked to help with your case, maybe give a fresh opinion, so Penelope sent me all the files but I haven’t opened them yet,” she sat on the edge of her desk. Trying to read his body language as he took out his donut.

He liked the pink frosting off his finger, nodding as he followed along. “Why not?”

“I wanted your permission,” she pressed her lips together in an awkward smiled. His eyes raising to meet hers, innocent as ever.

“Oh?”

“You’re very reserved, you have rules about what you share, I don’t want to break the trust we’ve built by looking into something so intimate,” she explained her thoughts. “It’s not fair for me to learn about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, without you being the one to tell me.”

“What do you know already?” He asked softly, blinking at her as he patiently waited.

She smiled at him softly, grateful that he understood. “I know the 3 charges that you’re in on, and that you’re being framed.”

“I think I would prefer it if you read the file and just asked me questions. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to recite it all back to you today,” he was honest. Taking a sip of his coffee and looking away from her.

Giving up so much of himself to her so early in the day, she felt like he was finally comfortable with her.

She found the key to his thoughts and it opened just right, she could see the hurt that flowed through him, but she could also see the happiness. The side of him that he was afraid to bring out, in fear it would get him in more trouble.

“Okay,” she agreed. Sitting at her desk and finally opening the email form Penelope.

She read through his tox-screens, his drug history, his mental state. His first-hand accounts, witness statements, clues and findings his team had made. It all felt like the plot to a bad movie about revenge, possibly even female rage. But for what?

“I finished reading,” she said softly, brows furrowed as she chews the inside of her cheek. “Do you know anyone other than this Mr. Scratch guy who you’ve put away, wronged, lead on, or just pissed off?”

“Why?” He asked, clearly attached to the idea this was all Mr. Scratch’s doing.

“It feels like revenge, but very well planed. Like a women is mad at you so she found your weakness, I’ve done mean shit to exes in the past but this is insane. They knew you’d do anything for your mom, they knew your drug history, and the fact you might get schizophrenia one day, they wanted to drug you and make you think you did all this.”

Spencer stood then, listening to her words as he scrunched his face. Thinking as hard as he could, “can you call Penelope?”

“Yeah,” she nodded as she dialled her number, putting her on speaker phone.

“Well hello there, Love Doctor,” Penelope teased as she answered.

“Um hi, Spencer wanted to talk to you,” she panicked.

“Oh, sorry, how are you Spencer?”

Spencer looked so confused, “I’m good… Y/N and I were looking at the case files you sent-”

“Good, did you find anything?” Penelope cut in, eager to talk to him.

“Have you looked into everyone I’ve ever encountered on a case? Specifically women?” Spencer asked. “I told my lawyer and Emily that I remember a woman being there and helping, she must know me from a case too, like the other prison escapees he’s helped?”

“On it pretty boy, any specifics about her that you remember?” Penelope asked over the sound of her keyboard clicking away.

“Long brown hair, but it’s probably different now,” he added. “Everything else is dark, I didn’t see her face or any other features.”

“Alright, call me anytime Spence, I miss you,” Penelope said softly, changing her tone to a more sensitive one. “Take care of each other, my loves.”

“Love you,” they say at the same time. Looking at each other awkwardly after she hung up, leaving them to sit with their words alone.

Spencer was leaning so close to her she could feel his body heat radiating off him. Spencer placed his hand on her shoulder as he stood straight, towering over her as she looked up at him.

“I have patients to talk to, but I brought chess for you to teach me later,” she smiled up at him.

“Can’t wait,” he beamed a smile back.

She felt his hand rub the back of her blue scrubs lightly, pulling away as he walked back around to his desk. She watched him with careful eyes, wishing he would have stayed longer.

—

Normally at 4:30, Y/N would bring Spencer a tray of whatever the kitchen was serving her patients for dinner that night. Tonight, however, she walked into her office at 5 pm on the dot, closing the clinic for the night and putting all her attention on Spencer.

“So,” she smiled as she leaned against her office door, excitement radiating out of her. “A little birdie told me that you really like Indian food, Tandoori chicken to be exact…”

“No way?” He gasped as he turned around in his chair.

She nodded with a cheeky grin, “homemade so I could sneak it in.”

She took her lunch box out of her mini-fridge, opening it up to show him the 2 Tupperware containers. One for him, the other for her. She took the lids off and dished it onto 2 plates she keeps in the cabinet above the fridge.

Spencer grew more and more excited as she warmed it up, filling the room with a familiar smell. He was so happy, “I don’t know how to thank you for everything you do for me?”

“Come here,” she said softly, watching him walk towards her carefully.

She wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him in a hug. He carefully placed his hands on her back, holding her against his chest as he snuggled his cheek into her hair again.

“I’ll take hugs as payment from now on,” she pulled back from him as the microwaved beeped.

Taking a plastic spoon from the cutlery jar, she opened the microwave and handed him a plate. “Did you want to stay in here or go to the break room? I never use it cause I don’t have any co-workers, but it has a couch and a coffee table?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking the plate from her and waiting for her to warm up her own meal before taking a bite.

He was ever the gentleman.

Y/N reached back into her lunch box, taking out the package of naan bread, seeing Spencer’s eyes basically roll into the back of his head. “You thought of everything?”

“Bread is my life,” she laughed.

When her food was ready, she placed it on top of the chess box and led the way down to the break room. Spencer holding every door for her.

She flicked on the lights in the break room, watching them strobe before making that awful powering up frequency. She groaned, putting her food on the table before turning on a few lamps instead.

The room went from bright and anxious to relaxed and personal, the amber glow bouncing off the cream walls, it was nice. As nice as it could be in a prison. She never thought she’d be having a date at a prison.

That’s basically what this was, a date.

She made him dinner, they were going to play games, he was going to sit right beside her, close enough to kiss. She really wanted to, she’s thought about it a lot, his pink lips were perfect and she just wanted to see how they’d feel between her own.

But she wont.

“Dig in honey,” the name rolled over her tongue like it was always meant to.

She felt his eyes on her right away, realizing that she called him honey in a situation where he wasn’t crying, where he wasn’t vulnerable. She said it as a term of endearment, she couldn’t stop the embarrassment form settling in her veins.

She sat beside his softly, picking up her dinner and pretending it didn’t happen. “Thank you,” Spencer cut into the awkwardness.

“You’re welcome,” she said softly. Feeling like she could flip inside out at any moment.

From the corner of her eye she saw him take the first bite, closing his eyes as he appreciated the moment. His shoulders settled as he chewed, she could swear he almost moaned as he ate it. She has had the food in the cafeteria before, she understood his reaction.

“That good?” She asked, teasing him softly.

He nodded, silent as he took it all in. He took another bite, and another, she felt like he was going to get the hiccups at this rate but it was too cute to stop. He was like a stray dog eating inside for the first time in months, it made her happy and then a little sad.

He stayed quiet the whole time. Crossing his legs as he sat on the couch, the plate pulled in close to his chest as he shovelled spoonfuls of food into his mouth. She sat there admiring him as he did so, falling more and more every time she glanced at him.

“That was delicious,” Spencer said as he stood, placing his plate on the counter across the room. “Are you done?” He asked, taking her plate as she reached it out to him.

“Yeah, thanks,” she watched him carefully, always wanting to help her in whatever way he could.

He didn’t sit on the couch when he came back, instead, sitting on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, taking the chess set out and beginning to set it up. Not wanting to miss a moment of the freedom he felt when he was with her.

“So, chess is pretty easy to learn,” he said, looking up at her through thick eyelashes as he spoke. “Do you know any of the rules yet?”

“Um, I know where they all go, I know that you can’t go through other pieces and the horse gets to jump?” She tried to remember all the way back to grade 4, the last time someone explained the rules to her.

He was so soft with her, explaining the rules and showing her what to do. His hand would lightly brush over hers occasionally, eventually, he’d just guide her hand over the pieces that she should move. It was so nice to just be alone with him, knowing they were both allowed to be happy.

The room was mostly silent, only the sound of Spencer's advice and her giggle as she still wasn’t grasping the concept of the game.

“I just like, don’t care about the rules?” She couldn’t stop giggling at the fact she wasn’t picking up on anything he said.

Spencer laughed, it was deep and hearty, right from his soul, “then how do you want to play?”

She picked up the queen and moved it to a random spot, “I want to put this here and fight your guy. That’s why I don't get this, what is my XP? What are their skills? I was raised on Pokemon, honey.”

He made his way back to the couch, sitting closely beside her. “Well sugar pie, do you have any other games you want to play?”

She couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and pressing her lips against his. His hands wrapped around her waist on instinct as they connected.

It was everything she imagined. Soft, gentle, refreshing. Like a cold glass of ice tea on a hot summers day. She wanted more, never letting up as she kissed him.

Spencer was the one to pull off first, “shit,” she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand as she stared at him, horrified.

He laughed, smiling at her softly. “It’s okay,” he promised, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

She doesn’t stop him from pulling her back in, holding her hand on his cheek as he kissed her again. Hungrier than before, Spencer’s tongue was on a mission. He tastes like dinner, but with his own Spencer difference.

Kissing him felt like a fairytale coming true.

She forgot where they were, his hands on the back of her scrubs and her hands in his hair as their mouths clashed. She started to lay back on the couch, pulling him down on top of her.

“We can't,” he pants against her lips. Regretting it as he pulls away from her.

“Sorry, this was unprofessional I know,” she tried to play it off.

Spencer pulled her back in, flush against his chest once more. “No, I don’t regret it. It’s just, I’m not ready.”

“Oh,” she says softly. Then it clicks, “oh, oh my god, Spencer I’m so sorry I forgot. I didn’t mean to push you into anything,” she worries, running her hands over his arms softly.

He shakes his head, “you didn’t. I want to, believe me, I just don’t think I can handle the after part…”

“I cried for 3 hours after I had sex again, after everything,” she told him in complete honesty. Not even Savannah or Derek knew that.

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to,” she assured him. “You shouldn’t have to be the only vulnerable one here, I want you to know about me.”

“You don’t have to tell me the details, I don’t want to think about someone hurting you,” he whispered, his eyes innocently studying her face for how she was feeling.

“Okay, so here’s everything else,” she was still holding his face in her hands. Rubbing her thumb over his cheeks. “I had 2 moms and a little sister, and I was raised in Boston. I met Savannah in 2004, I worked with her until a few years ago. She’s my best friend, Derek is like my big brother.”

She gave him the basics, “I don’t have a dad, my mom used the same donor for me and my sister, so I’ve never really felt safe around men because I never knew many.”

“Understandable,” he smiled softly. “what’s your mom like?”

“She died when I was 26,” she pressed her lips together awkwardly. “I haven’t talked to her wife since then, my other mom, she remarried not long after. I think she was cheating on my mom when she was going through chemo.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer whispered.

“I can relate to a lot of the stories I know about you already. My mom was my world, I don’t know my dad. I’ve been hurt by people, I’ve lost a lot of myself while trying to help others,” she brushed her nose against his softly. Letting him know she wasn’t pulling back any time soon. “Who you are is not what you did, or what you’ve been through.”

He kisses her again softly. Breathing in through his nose lightly, his hand on her back pulling her in closer and closer. He didn’t want to let her go, and she was more than happy staying in his embrace forever.

He pulled back softly, “I lied to you.” He whispered against her lips.

“When?” She asked, scared to know the answer.

“I do remember you from Derek’s wedding, he told me about you a long time ago. I told him I was ready for dating again when you told him about Mark,” he couldn’t look at her.

“That’s not a huge lie,” she smiled softly. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking at you all night, with that little blond boy. You two were so sweet, Mark got really mad at me for staring at you actually.”

“Derek told me when he hurt you, he came to my apartment right after so he wouldn’t go and kill him,” Spencer’s voice was so low she had to stare at his lips to understand him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she shook her head softly, kissing the tip of his nose. “Thank you.”

“I don’t want to go back to my cell,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.

Breaking her heart in the process.

She kissed his cheeks and his lips a few times, peppering kisses to his soft face to make up for it. “We can’t do this again until you’re free,” she whispered.

“I understand.”

“So you better think long and hard about this woman you remember so I can track her down and shove her in that cell instead,” Y/N’s stern voice made him smile.

“Thank you,” he replied again, hugging her the way he promised he would thank her from now on.

—

For being 9 pm on a spring night, it was rather warm in the Vermont parking lot. She left the prison a while ago, not able to leave Spencer’s gravitational pull yet as she sat there, staring at the prison thinking about him alone in his cell instead of pressed against her chest for the rest of the night.

Thinking about the feeling of Spencer’s hands on her body and his tender lips. Her hand over her mouth as she remembered how his bottom lip ghosted over her own, the anticipation was enough to light her on fire.

She took out her phone and called Derek, knowing he would put her on speaker if they were already in bed for the night. Really needing her best friends right now.

“Hey kick-ass, how are you doing today?” Derek’s voice was overly cheery, “Hey!” Savannah added in the background.

“I’m in love with him.”

Chapter 6

She barely slept anymore. Waking up at 6 am every morning without her alarm clock, her heart physically aching to return to Spencer's side after a night without him. She felt like a love-sick school girl, wanting to be with him all day even if they had nothing to say. Just looking at him was enough to make her happy.

A few weeks passed. Weeks filled with smiles and laughter, singing and reading, inside jokes and shared jello cups. She was so madly in love with him, hugging him every morning when he arrived and every night before he left. Keeping her word, kissing him on the cheek every so often instead.

She started a routine of picking up a coffee and a donut for Spencer every single Thursday, worried that he probably thought about his case all night, yet again. Which only kept her up worrying all night about him, wondering if he was doing okay all alone.

Only getting sleep when she remembered that he had a photo of her, his mom, Derek and hank with him. He’d be okay.

She walked into the infirmary to find Jerry and Mike waiting for her with a guard. Mike bleeding all down his face while Jerry held his clearly broken hand.

“You two are going to be the death of me,” she sighed. Putting all her things in her office before coming back to care for them.

She excused the guard, telling him she had it from here. They wouldn’t put up any more fights with her, they looked up to her like a momma bear, and they were her terrible cubs.

“It is 7:33 am, who the fuck did you have to fight this early?” She whisper yelled at them. Not wanting to wake Leo in the care ward, “who is worth this?”

“You don’t want to know,” Mike said under his breath.

“Well clearly he’s not here, is he dead or in violent crimes? If you two fucked up our plan of me helping you during parole next year, I’m going to be pissed,” she tried her best to entice the answers out of them.

“It was Shaw,” Jerry said softly. “He was planning to hurt the new guy, he’s all fake buddy-buddy with him.”

“Excuse me?” She panicked.

“He’s been talking to Milos at night in the locker room, Wilkins lets him out of his cell and into gen-pop,” Mike carried on the story as she tried to clean the blood off his eyebrow.

“What are they going to do to Spence?”

“Spence?” Jerry teased her, poking her side. “I didn’t know he had a nickname already. Why haven’t we met him yet?”

“I’ve kept him locked away to be safe, I’m going to find a way to keep him here at night,” She said softly. “He’s best friends with my brother, I can’t let him get hurt.”

“So you knew him in freedom land?”

She nodded, “a little.”

“All you need is a bandaid,” she changed the subject as she reached into her kit. “And Jerry I’m going to have to set your fingers back in place, if you scream in my face, I will kick you in the nuts.”

They laughed at her fake tuff guy act, never actually being able to hurt them. They were her buddies, giving her a big hug after she finished with them. Getting them both a pudding and telling them to stay put for the day if they wanted to.

Spencer found her in the lab when he arrived, she knew it was him when the door opened, no one else had a passkey to get in. She was writing down some numbers on a chart when he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She dropped her pen and turned around in his grasp, holding his face in her hands immediately as she pulled him into a quick kiss.

“I thought you said I couldn’t do that again till I’m free?” He asked softly. Kissing her a second time as he finished.

She smiled against his lips, “you’re free when we’re alone.”

He kissed her harder. His hands around her waist as he picked her up slightly. Twirling her around as they kissed, she laughed against his skin. Unable to stop herself from smiling as she held onto him.

She kissed him one last time as he put her down on the floor, “I have a coffee and donut for you in my office.”

“You’re too good to me, Sugar Pie.”

“Anything for you, Honey Bunch,” she bit her lip as she smiled at him again. So absolutely overwhelmed with love for him.

“I actually have a serious question to ask you,” his tone changed, making her concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m still trying to figure out more about that night, and I think I want to try exposure therapy,” he explained. “I was wondering if you’d help me get high, so I can remember what happened in the same mindset.”

“Okay,” she nodded softly. “I can book you in for the night here, say you’re under observation, and I’ll stay here with you.”

“Are you sure?”

She kissed him softly again, looking up at him with a smile after. “If you’re sure about it, I’ll help you. But we need some ground rules.”

“Of course,” he agreed. Letting go of her as she stepped back, leaning against the counter now.

“No kissing, nothing like that, we’ll do it in my office so you can be alone and then later you’ll sleep in the observation room. Leo is in there, he’s harmless and sleeps all night on his morphine anyway,” she explained. “I’m not going to take advantage of you, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s going to be hard to sober up again once you get a taste of euphoria in here.”

He nodded along as she set the rules, “those are good. Thank you.”

“They drugged you with heroin, and while I know where to get some, I’m not letting you do that,” she laughed. “I have Dilaudid in pills and liquid morphine.” Letting him pick his poison.

“The pills will be fine,” he said softly.

“Alright,” she smiled. “And if you want, when you get out I can take you to a meeting? You’ll need to talk to someone other than me, someone who gets it.”

“You’ll stay with me after all this?”

“As long as you let me,” she felt her heart grow 3 sizes at the way his puppy dog eyes stared back at her. “Go have your breakfast and I will come to see you soon, okay honey?”

His smile was glorious, she could feel the love radiating off him as he looked at her. It felt wonderful, knowing at that moment her feelings weren’t one-sided. That he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. He was going to be good to her.

—

She had mike and Jerry help her move the couch from the break room and into her office, allowing them to meet Spencer, finally. It was awkward at first, two big muscle men telling him how much they also loved their Sugar.

“Should we tell him?” Mike nudged Jerry.

“What?” Spencer asked softly, sitting at his desk on the other side of the room, really not enjoying their alpha energy.

“Shaw, Milos and Wilkins are all secretly buddies, they were planning to hurt you and so Mike and Jerry beat Shaw up in the yard,” she scrunched her face as she explained it, not ready for his reaction.

“How?”

“After they cut that kid's throat, they wanted to get you to run heroin for them. But you ended up in here, we heard them in gen-pop last night saying they wanted to get you,” Jerry explained as he played with the bandages on his hand. “He won't be out of the violent offender's infirmary for a while.”

“Thank you,” he replied to them with a pressed-lipped smile. “I need to call my team about the case.”

That was their queue to leave, Y/N patting them on the back for the help, telling them they could stay with Leo or go back to the yard, she didn’t care. They just couldn’t be in her office for this.

Spencer looked a little pissed off. “I didn’t ask them to do that,” she said, defensively.

“I’m not mad at you,” he shakes his head softly as steps into her space. “You’re the only person I can trust in here.”

She placed her hand on his chest softly, “call Penelope. Take your time on the phone with the team.” She handed him her cell phone, “FaceTime them if you want. See their faces, it’ll be okay.”

He hugged her, a silent thank you. She ran her hands over his back as she pressed her face into his neck. Holding back every instinct to tell him she loved him as she pulled away.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking her phone, “how do I?”

She couldn’t help laughing, “here,” she dialled Penelope’s cellphone number and hit the FaceTime button.

Seeing her beautiful, bright and bubbly face smile as she answered. “Hey! Oh my god, hold on,” they watched as she got up and ran down a hallway.

Spencer was instant giggles and smiles, a side of him she’s never seen before. True, pure love. This was his family, these were his people. She could see herself fitting into his little world one day.

“Guys! It’s Spencer!” She yelled as she ran into another room.

“What’s wrong?” “Is he okay?”

Suddenly she turned the phone sideways to show all his co-workers. “Hi!” He waved to them.

“Spence!” Emily and JJ cheered, “oh you look so good.”

“I feel good, how are you all?” He asked softly, taking her phone and sitting down at his desk.

She watched him softly from the door, slipping out when she saw his attention was fully on his past life. She walked down the hall towards the lab, hearing his laughter through the walls.

—

She placed 2 pills in a plastic cup, taking an apple juice and jello from the fridge for Spencer. She placed it on his desk 20 minutes before his shift ended, giving him a little space to decide when he wanted to. He told her that he get’s cold when he comes down from a high, so she leaves a fluffy blanket and a pillow on the couch before slipping back out of the room.

She returned to the care unit, looking over Leo as he got ready for the night. Administering his meds and wishing him a good night. She closed his curtain, so when Spencer eventually went to bed he wouldn’t be disturbed.

When she finally settled into her office for the night, Spencer was in the dark. Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. “Hey,” he said softly.

“How are you?” She asked softly. Closing the door behind herself. Locking it and making sure all the blinds were closed.

“It’s going to hit soon,” he said softly. Suddenly embarrassed and closed off, hiding from her as he laid down.

She didn’t want to bother him, sitting at her desk with her reports. The light from the computer is just enough to see what she was looking at. She glanced at him every few minutes to make sure he was okay.

He enjoys it at first, a blissed-out look on his face as his head is tossed back against the couch. She knows the exact euphoria he’s feeling, she understood perfectly why someone would want to escape like that.

Then his face changes as he starts to hate it, he mumbles to himself with his eyes squeezed shut, she could see him gripping the sheets as he tries to force himself to remember.

She’s uncomfortable watching it, feeling like an intruder. She tried to only focus on her work, flipping through emails and Twitter, scrolling through Facebook for the first time in months to preoccupy her mind.

He was like that for at least an hour.

She could hear his teeth chattering as he came down, just like he said would happen. “You okay, honey?”

“Y-yeah,” he tried to speak through the shaking. “C-can we cuddle?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, turning on her desk lamp before joining him on the couch.

She pulled him up into a sitting position, sitting where his head once was and letting him settle into her lap. She ran her hands through his hair, combing through the locks as she shushed him. Running her hand up and down his back in a tender motion, he snuggled into her leg.

“I’m not that high anymore,” he says softly.

“I know, it’s okay if you are. I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

“I love you,” he whispers.

It makes her stop. Her whole body stills at the words, he wanted to clarify so she’d know it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. She closes her eyes and squeezes them shut, biting her lip as she tries not to burst into tears.

He felt it too.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, “sit up.” She instructs him softly.

She laid down against the couch then, waiting for him to snuggle into her side. Wrapping the blanket around them both as they found the most comfortable position.

“Sorry,” he whispered against the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay, it just feels wrong for me to say it back right now. I feel the same, believe me, Spencer.” She wanted to assure him to the best of her ability. “But you’re still an inmate in my care, I can’t. Not yet.”

“You don’t have to,” he pulled back to look her in the eyes, his own still droopy from how tired the drugs made him. “I’m going to love you regardless.”

She broke her own rules. Kissing him softly, holding him close to her, under the blanket where both their body heat was trapped. She had never felt safer in her entire life.

Spencer only crawling into that bed in the care ward when he woke up to her alarm the following morning.

Chapter 7

There’s someone banging on her office door just a little after 8 am. She was in the middle of putting a new pair of scrubs on over her long-sleeve undershirt, the banging on her door doesn’t stop until she opens the door.

“What?” She yells at them.

It’s Officer Wilkins. “Where is inmate Reid? We have a visitor for him.”

“No one is scheduled to see him today?”

“There is now. Where is he?” The man towered over her. Trying his best to intimidate her.

“Care ward. I’ll get him. You can go wait in the waiting room,” she pushes past him. Watching him stumble as he hits the wall.

“He’s not worth dying over,” he whispers under his breath.

She doesn’t leave Reid’s side as Wilkins attempts to escort him to an interrogation room. Y/N stands in the observation room as Spencer waits, cuffed to the table. Looking through the mirror at each other, only he couldn’t see her. He just knew she would be there.

“Mom?” Spencer’s shocked voice breaks her out of her thoughts as she sees Diana walking into the room.

A dark-haired woman she’s never met before escorting her in. Y/N whips her phone out to take a quick photo before running back to her office as quickly as she can.

Y/N: I need you to check on Cassie, Diana’s nurse. Someone I don’t know just brought Diana to the prison.

She attached the photo she took, setting her phone down to looking through the visitor's logs on her computer. Wanting to know the name of the woman accompanying Diana.

“I’m sorry,” the familiar voice says from her doorway.

She looks up at him from her desk. Wilkins is stepping into her space with a look of guilt, taking his baton off his belt.

“You don’t have to do this,” she backed up against the wall, trying to keep as much distance from him as possible.

“I have to,” his tone changed. Like a personality switch, his eyes darkened as he charged at her.

She ran around the desk, watching him follow. Punching her in the face, causing her to fall back against the couch, she didn’t want him to get on top of her. Dropping to the carpeted floor as he dove onto the couch.

She crawled on the floor towards the door as he tried to get up. Standing as fast as she could, roundhouse kicking him in the face with a grunt. Her foot hit his jaw at just the right angle, rendering him unconscious.

She reached for his cuffs as soon as he hit the floor, “Leo!! Help!” She screamed down the hall.

She heard bare feet running down the hall, followed by the sound of rubber on linoleum. “Sugar??” Mike and Jerry yelled as they followed.

“Watch him,” she insisted once the cuffs were on him. “Hurt him if you have to.”

She took the second pair of cuffs off Wilkins's belt before running out of the room, her lip busted and bleeding down her neck.

She ran down the hall towards Spencer, busting into the room and knocking the nurse to the ground. Struggling to get her onto her stomach, “stop struggling, who the fuck are you?”

“Get off me!” She screamed in return.

Y/N cuffed her and pulled her to her feet, pushing her against the stone wall.

“What is going on?” Spencer stood up, cuffed to the table so he couldn’t help.

“Wilkins just attacked me, Diana wasn’t supposed to be here,” she said over her shoulder in Spencer’s direction. “So I’ll ask again,” she whispered in the woman's ear as she pushed her against the wall harder. “Who, the fuck! Are you?”

“He knows me,” she spat out.

Y/N ripped her off the wall, making her look at Spencer who was shocked, speechless as he tried to remember her face. “Who is she?”

“She told me Cassie was fired, she’s been with me all morning?” Diana tried to explain, slightly freaking out.

“I sent her photo to Penelope, I need a guard,” Y/N said, hauling the unknown women into the hall with her.

—

The prison was put on lockdown as they tried to figure out this security breach. Wilkins and the nurse being held in prison custody as they waited for the BAU team to fly in.

Figuring out that her name was Lindsay Vaughn, Spencer remembered as much as he could about her. How he tried to save her dad, losing him to his carnal need to kill. Lindsay following closely in her daddy's footsteps.

Diana sat at Spencer’s desk, Mike and Jerry stand watch at the door. Y/N was sitting on top of her desk in front of Spencer, it was his turn to run alcohol over her cuts. Holding her face in his hands as he cared for her.

“I'm sorry,” he mouths the words at her. Not wanting his mother to overhear them.

She nods in response, unable to smile as the cut on her lips stings. All things considered, she could have been in a lot worse condition if it wasn’t for Derek and her training.

She wants to kiss him, she can tell he’s looking over her shoulder at his mom. Waiting to make sure she’s not looking before he leans in a little closer.

Pressing their lips together as silently as possible, his eyes still on her’s as they did so. It’s the most tender kiss she’s ever had, “I’m okay Spence,” she said softly as he pulled back.

“I’m still sorry you were dragged into this,” holding her against his chest softly.

From where she was sitting on top of her desk, she placed her head on his chest, holding him as close as she could, his cheek resting on her head. She wrapped her legs around him, not wanting to let him go, ever.

Needing the comfort he brought her, now more than ever.

When Derek and she started training again it was mostly to help her feel safe. To know what to do if it happened again. She didn’t ever expect it to, thinking it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. That she’d learn from it and then she wouldn’t be in this situation again, being punched in the face by a man.

She started to cry, the throbbing pain in both her face and her foot taking over as the adrenaline dissipated, she was too overwhelmed to do anything more. He let her cry against him, rubbing his hand on her back as he kissed her forehead.

She couldn’t wait for him to get out of here, and she was going to leave with him.

—

Derek is the first to burst through the door. Wrapping Spencer up in the biggest hug she’s ever seen him give. Rocking Spencer back and forth in his grasp as he kissed Spencer's cheek a few times.

He pulled back, holding Spencer's face in his hands. Smiling so he didn’t cry, “they’re dropping the charges.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope,” Derek shakes his head adding, “You’re free.” Expecting Spencer to hug him again.

Instead, Spencer turns to Y/N and pulls her into a kiss. She’s startled at first, eyes wide open as Spencer’s hands find her waist and pulls her right up against him.

She can't help but settle against him. Holding his face in her hands as she kisses him back. He picks her up slightly, spinning her around with his face buried in her neck as she yelps.

Everyone in the room watching him celebrate with her in shocked silence.

He placed her back on the ground, kissing her one last time. “You did it, Spence,” she smiles at him.

“We did it.”

She hears someone clearing their throat. Both of them turning to see the Warden as well as the entire BAU team standing in her doorway. But they don’t pull apart, Spencer’s hand stays on her side as they wait to get yelled at.

“I quit,” Y/N said before he could say anything to her, “and I might sue.”

“I’m suing for sure,” Spencer added.

“We’re terribly sorry for the condition of your stay Doctor Reid. And Doctor Y/L/N, I’ll never be able to make it up to you. I’m incredibly sorry for what Wilkins did,” the warden tried to cover his ass from a bureau lawsuit.

“Too late for that,” Emily added. Stepping into the room more. “Doctor Reid will be leaving with us, now.”

“Understood,” the Warden hurried out of the room before any more damage could be done.

Everyone took a turn hugging Spencer then. A handful of them even hugging Y/N as well.

Emily wrapped Y/N up in a hug, rubbing her back the way she would all those years before. “Thank you, you have no idea what he means to us.”

“I think I do,” she laughed against her. “If that’s not weird?”

“Not at all,” she pulled back, looking at Y/N with her big beautiful eyes, her bangs pushed out of the way so she could take a good look again. “You two are good together.”

She smiled, “thanks Em.”

“We need to fill him in on everything, will you stay with Diana?” Emily asked.

“Of course, I’m just going to be packing up some things anyway,” she said as she turned to Spencer. “Have fun with your friends, honey.”

“Thanks, sugar,” he kissed her on the cheek before walking out. Everyone whistling and hollering at the boldness Dr. Reid had developed in prison.

They all filed out after him, she watched the door with a soft smile as they wandered down the hall, Spencer taking them to the break room so they could chat.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Diana’s small voice came from Spencer’s desk.

“Oh, Diana,” she smiled. “Can I give you a hug?”

Diana nodded as she walked over to her, wrapping her up in a hug, much like how Spencer would. She can imagine Spencer’s hugs once feeling like this, imagining him small and shy, holding her slightly. Unlike his more beefy, relaxed form since being in prison.

“He means the world to me too,” she says softly as Diana pulls away.

“You saved him, if he didn’t have you he might not still be my soft and sweet little Spencer,” Diana patted her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for making him,” she laughed slightly. “He’s a wonderful man, I have a feeling you played a big role in that.”

Her smile was just like his. The smile of a mother, someone who was going to love him forever, maybe she’d love her too. Y/N felt a little emotional, this could be her family one day.

Chapter 8

There was a lot of information to process as she sat at the BAU round table.

Learning the entire plot of some women’s revenge against Spencer, just how much Wilkins and Lindsay were involved, the crazy scheme they planned and how terribly it would have ended if she wasn’t there.

Spencer, on the other hand, was visiting this Cat person in prison. The one who orchestrated it all, the one who was obsessed with Spencer, the love of her life, to the point she might be having his baby. He had some things to settle with her.

He was on edge before he left, going with Derek and JJ while Y/N stayed back with Diana. David Rossi had even offered to let them all stay at his guest house later that night, seeing as Spencer’s apartment was a crime scene.

Lindsay murdered Cassie, leaving her dead body on Spencer’s apartment floor. Ruining the place he was so desperate to return to.

She was a little out of it. Trying to think of everything that happened and everything she would have to do in the next few days. Compiling a list in her mind as the anxiety bubbled in her gut.

She needed a new job and a new place to live. First, she’d have to go back to Vermont to pack, and she’d have to find a way to support her boys on Parole. And Mike and Jerry.

She put her hands over her face and rested against the table. Overwhelmed with everything, her face still hurting, the lights were too much, she was tired.

Then she was crying softly.

“Hey,” Emily rubbed her back softly. “Shhh, it’s okay, what’s wrong Y/N?”

She sat up and wiped her eyes with a small laugh, embarrassed that her kinda ex-girlfriend was comforting her. “I’m stressed?” She answered, not even really sure herself.

Emily smiled while she nodded, looking so different now than she did back when they first met. Older, but in a beautiful way, gracefully becoming who she was always meant to be. “I get it, believe me.”

She remembered Derek saying she ‘died’ once. How they buried her casket and how pissed they were when they found out she was actually alive. Y/N only knew Emily re-born, as they called her.

She was always caring, always wanted to comfort and make people happy. It was the way she coped with hurting them all, but it carried on past the team. It carried on to strangers, victims, sometimes even unsub’s.

And most definitely Y/N.

There was a part of Y/N that wonders what loving Emily would have been like; if it would have felt half as good as loving Spencer. Or would it be better? She’d never really know, but she could imagine it would have been nice.

“How can we help?” Emily asked, still as wonderful as ever.

“I need a new job,” she laughed. “Can Penelope use her mad skills to find a reputable business in need of a doctor around here?”

“Are you moving back to Virginia?” She smiled at the thought.

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, a smile growing on her face. “I’m kind of attached to Spencer now.”

“Good, maybe Derek can help you find a place, he has like, what 7? Right now that he’s fixing up?” Emily threw out ideas. “You’ll get the ball rolling soon, it’ll all be fine.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For not giving up on him, I know you would never but, I was worried he had lost all hope and you never did. Thank you.”

Emily hugged her again, not saying anything. Y/N knew there was nothing to thank her for, this was a family. They would kill for each other if they needed to.

“Let’s go see Penelope,” Emily replied as she pulled away. Standing and extending a hand for Y/N.

The BAU offices were so interesting, many people running around to get jobs done before the end of the day as the main team chilled. It was like any other office she was in; controlled chaos and hierarchy.

Diana was sitting with Penelope in her office, flipping through a scrapbook while eating a jello cup. It made her smile to see it ran in the family.

“Hey,” Penelope cheered as she noticed them.

“I was just going to ask for some help with something, I see you’re busy,” Y/N awkwardly commented on the situation.

“Oh, we’re not,” Diana said. “I was showing her photos of Spencer. Would you like to see them?”

“I’d love to, um while I’m here, Penelope would you be willing to help me search for a good job?” She asked a lot mousier than Spencer would have if he was asking her for something.

“Of course, what are we looking for?” She wheeled to her main computer, cracking her knuckles as she got ready to look.

“Um, anyone hiring a GP close to here, I’m willing to go all the way to DC for work,” she explained. “I just want a place where I won't get punched again,” she tried to laugh at the trauma.

“The sanatarium is hiring, they’ve got good ratings and not a lot of patient complaints, they’re looking for a physician to care for the elderly members of the program,” Penelope explained as she clicked through screen after screen of info.

“That would be nice,” she smiled towards Diana. “Did you like the one you were at?”

“Oh yes,” Diana mused. “I had many friends there, I miss them and the social aspect. For a bunch of loons, I really loved the company.” She laughed at herself.

“I send the link to you,” Penelope smiled. “Now let me see his little baby bum again that one is my favourite, he’s so funny,” she leaned back in close to Diana.

All the pictures were priceless. Seeing Spencer grow up, page after page, every award and accomplishment displayed proudly. It made her miss her family, the love that a mother could bring to her life.

She got a little emotional, trying to nonchalantly wipe the tear off her cheek as she watched Diana flip a page.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly.

Y/N laughed, “yeah I just miss my mom.” She scrunched her nose so that the tears stayed in, waving her hand in front of her face as she tried to blink the tears back.

“Where is she?” An innocent question opening the floodgates.

“She had cancer,” Y/N cried softly. Not noticing as Emily and Penelope left the room. Giving them a space to bond.

“She died when I was 26,” she explained.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Diana placed her hand on Y/N’s back as she rubbed her softly. “Do you have any other family?”

“My moms are gay, well. After my mom died I stopped talking to her wife, yes she raised me but she hurt my mom too much for me to love her like a parent,” Y/N unloaded her trauma onto Diana, it must be genetic to find comfort in the Reids.

“Spencer never had a father either,” Diana related to her. “After William left it was just us, and Spencer stepped up to being the man of the house. He’s always been thrown into situations where he has no control but he needs to make the decisions. You’re probably the best person he could be with, he doesn’t have to take care of you.”

“Cause I baby him,” she laughed as she wiped stray tears off her cheeks. “He’s pretty wonderful, you did a fantastic job. Both of you did, look at the love you have. This is a perfect family.”

She gestured to the book of photos, seeing the love beaming off Diana’s face as she held a 12-year-old Spencer in her arms. Braces, on his face, thick glasses, long hair. He was adorable.

“You’re welcome to join,” Diana offered softly. “I’ve always wanted a daughter.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked softly.

“Why have more when you can stop at perfection,” she smiled, the same wonderful smile Spencer had.

“That he is,” she agreed. “Thank you for him.”

“Thank you, I mean it when I say you saved him,” Diana’s serious look making Y/N cry again.

“I know,” she cried. “And I’d do it again.”

In a heartbeat.

—

Rossi had 3 rooms ready for use in his guest house. Only 2 were ever used during their stay. They spent a few nights recovering together, helping Diana into a new routine for a few days while trying to just spend as much time as possible together out in the real world.

Rossi’s property was huge, never-ending even. He had lake access, ponds with ducks, fields and fields of long grass topped with flowers. It was like a dream getting to explore it together.

Happiness hit her like a freight train, smacking her in the chest and knocking the wind out of her.

She blinked and suddenly she had been waking up in Spencer’s arms for a week straight. Going on adventures together, waiting for him with a coffee outside his NA meetings, holding him all night long.

He had a hard time adjusting to a real bed again, it was too soft. He spent most of his time with his head on Y/N's chest, letting her rub his back slowly as she kissed his head, helping him drift off to sleep every single night. Causing her to fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

Every day beside him was a blessing, no longer was he a dog trapped in a cage. He was free, running with her through the fields like wild horses.

She woke up with him still snuggled into her, arm around her waist, legs tangled together, his face right in the crook of her neck. His hot breath on her skin being the thing that finally woke her up.

Absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair, eyes still closed as she woke up. Snuggling her cheek against the top of his head, causing him to pull her in tighter. Both of them slowly coming alive again.

“I love you,” her voice coarse from sleeping with her mouth open, dry as she licked her lips. It was the only thought that came to her mind. Not even realizing it was the first time she’s said it to him.

Spencer kissed her neck softly, “I love you.”

She couldn’t believe the happiness she was feeling, almost positive that even in her saddest moments she still loved him just this much. He was everything, even under all the scares and trauma, he was the most wonderful person in her whole world. And she was beyond blessed to be holding him in her arms.

The sun was barely up yet, having fallen asleep around 10 pm last night, they were up way earlier than they expected. It was so nice, the deep orange light of the morning sun creeping through the window behind the bed.

“Do you want to go watch the sun come up?” She asked softly.

“Yeah,” he nodded softly. Sitting up with her to get ready.

They put on track pants and sweaters and shoes, grabbing a few blankets and heading outside. A few minutes of walking behind Rossi’s house led them towards a beautiful little pond, they laid out 2 blankets over the dew-soaked grass before cuddling on top of it.

The birds were performing for them, the clouds were cleaning into the most beautiful morning blue sky she had ever seen. She couldn’t help herself from holding him tighter against the blanket.

The sun shined on the water, casting beautiful pinks and oranges across the surface as it stretched into the sky. A few ducks followed their mommas in the May morning breeze, quacking in agreement as they swam across the pond. Playing a game of following the leader.

It was a dream, she was sure of it. It was all too perfect to be real.

Including Spencer, he laid there softly underneath her, holding her against his chest as she appreciated the world around them. His attention only on her, even after being locked up for 3 months. He would always choose her.

“I’m so happy,” she said softly. “You make me so happy.”

He kissed her on the forehead, pushing her back against the blanket so he could kiss her whole face as she laid there. Smiling as she held his sides, letting him smother her in affection.

When he finally stops kissing her, he brushes her hair behind her ear. Cupping her face with one hand as he looks at her. The sun casting a vibrant glow on the both of them as they appreciated each other for a moment.

“I don’t know how I made it so long without you,” he finally speaks. “But I never want to do it again.”

“Move in with me?” She replied without a second thought. “I need to find a place here anyway, and I doubt you want to go back to your apartment.”

“I already asked Derek for the place he was fixing on Wilmont, it’s close to the sanatarium, mom wants to be social again,” he filled her in on his plans. “We just have to sign the lease.”

“We?” She teased him.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

“Good,” she smiled as she pulled him into another kiss. “Because I love you, too.”

Spending time with Spencer was intimacy in its purest form. It was a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual love. It was the first time in her life she felt truly in love, not mesmerized by the idea of it.

She trusted him when he said that he loved her. She believed him when held her when he talked to her about his day or the most random things his mind could conjure. When he’d just hold her, enjoying her presence without wanting anything more than just her.

Chapter 9

They arrived in Vermont early on a Saturday morning, heading to her apartment to pack everything up. It was just the two of them this time, flying in together, half asleep at the break of dawn.

Only bringing 1 bag with her essentials for the next 2 days, hoping to pack her whole life into a truck and pray it arrived in Virginia okay.

And she got to show Spencer her space. A personal side of her that he had no idea about. He knew her mind, her feelings, her trauma, but he didn’t know what her personality was really like outside of loving him.

He was surprised by the amount of stuff she had. Wandering around her apartment quietly as she started taping boxes into shape.

Rented white walls enclosed the space when she moved in, not being able to paint them or anything felt wrong to her. So she covered them in photos, artwork and posters. Bringing the space to life with a touch of colour.

Mostly neons, having an affinity for green and purple accent pieces. Not a single shade of blue to be found, getting enough of that at work over the years.

She had plants everywhere, an old record player and a million different albums spread across the living room. Her bedroom was a mess, the closet was even worse. The kitchen would be easy to pack, it was the stuff on the walls she was worried about.

“I’m probably not getting my deposit back,” she laughed as she started taking the paintings down.

“I didn’t know you went to Harvard?” He points at her medical degree on the wall as she takes it down.

“Yeah, let me guess you’re a Yale guy?” She teased him.

He scoffed, nudging her arm lightly. “CalTech and MIT actually, Yale was my safety school.”

“Mine too,” she smiled.

Spencer stood beside her and watched for a minute, “what should I do?”

“Pick an area and pack the way you would if this was your place, I trust you won't break anything.”

“Okay,” he nodded, beginning stacking all her books on the kitchen table.

They worked well together, they knew that already. She put on music, they moved around each other freely. Occasionally singing the words and dancing around to the good ones. It was a lovely day to just open the windows and clean.

Hours passed, pizzas had been ordered and destroyed, boxes filled every corner of the space as her personality was completely ripped from the room. Soon it was just them, a couch and the record player.

She got up and walked into the bedroom to change, feeling sticky and gross from the day. Not expecting Spencer to follow and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Who knew packing boxes for 7 hours would make you so sweaty,” she jokes as she peels the shirt off her back. Standing in front of him in just her sports bra.

He turns away from her, making her laugh slightly. “Spencer, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He asks as he turns back to look at her.

She nods softly, “do you want to shower with me?”

He’s speechless for a moment, staring at her with an open mouth, “yeah, yes sure.”

She can't help herself from laughing, taking his hand and pulling him into her tiny bathroom. She makes sure they both have a few towels, seeing him awkwardly stand by the door like he’s not allowed to move.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she reminded him. “Go as slow as you want.”

“I want to join you, but just to clean,” he made his decision.

“Alright, I have 3 different shampoos you can choose from,” she smiled, opening her cupboard and letting him pick. He smiled, appreciating how easily she made it a strictly business situation.

She took off her pants, watching him get undressed out of the corner of her eye. They had been much more intimate with each other already, getting naked in front of him shouldn’t have been as nerve-racking as it was.

She turned on the water, making sure it was the right temperature with her foot. She took a deep breath and just took the sports bra off, freeing her boobs after a long day felt amazing, replacing the fear of Spencer seeing her for the first time. She dropped her underwear to the floor and stepped into the shower, waiting for him to do the same.

Before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, naked. She didn’t know how to act, just laughing and smiling at him. He did the same, it felt kinda crazy that they were standing in a shower, butt naked as the water pooled at their feet.

“You have to pull the thingy up,” she pointed at the bottom of the shower behind him. “It might be cold when it hits you, here pull it up and hide in the corner, like I do.”

He followed her instructions, pulling the small silver plug up to redirect the water from the tub faucet to the shower head. Cowering into the corner with her, their chests pressed together as the cold water hit his back, making him gasp as she laughed.

She wrapped her arms around him, leaning against the shower wall as she held him against her, “hi,” she whispered through her smile.

He kissed her quickly before backing up under the stream. She watched the water cover his hair, making it darker as it spread through the long locks. She watched it drip down his body softly, her eyes travelling down as it did.

He had a scar on his neck and all the bruising on his chest was long gone. His skin was so pretty, he only had a small amount of chest hair, but it was the collection of freckles all over capturing her gaze the most. She reached out and rested her hand on his chest, seeing his eyes open as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Sorry,” she pulled her hand back.

“It’s okay,” he laughed slightly. “Here,” he reached behind her for the bar of soap, “if you want to touch me while I wash my hair?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. Reaching for the loofa on the tap behind him, standing directly in his space as she did so.

They switched sides, slowly turning so he would be out of the spray of the shower head. He put shampoo in his hands and rubbed it through his hair while she watched quietly for a moment.

She rubbed the bar of soap against the fabric of the loofa, watching it foam up and fill the small space with a soft cucumber scent. Running it over his chest softly as he massaged his scalp. She was so soft with him, mesmerized by how lucky she was.

He was beautiful and soft. He wasn’t big and buff like Derek, he was just a normal man with a love for chocolate donuts and jello. She ran the loofa over his tummy as she smiled, loving everything about him.

Loving every part actually while trying to avoid both eye and physical contact with specific sections of him. Not knowing if he was okay, wanting to respect his space, and appreciating that he was doing the same with her.

He laughed when she ran it along his side, ticking his armpit as he tried to wash his hair, soap dripping down onto his eyebrow. She reached up and wiped it off his face so it wouldn’t go in his eye.

“Thanks,” he smiled.

“Switch?” She said as she guided him back under the water, his eyes still closed from the fear of getting soap in them. Scrunching his face up in the cutest way.

The water cascaded over his body, washing the soap down him as she watched, her hair not even close to being wet enough to wash yet. She just wanted to watch the show, to look at all of him and appreciate the moment.

He opened his eyes once all the soap was gone, his hair longer than ever as it laid flat behind his ears, he looked so funny without a big curly mop of hair on his head, remembering he said it used to be like this at one point.

“Your turn?” He offered, taking the loofa from her and reapplying the soap to it. “Can I?”

“Of course,” she answered as he slowly ran the material over her.

He was so gentle, she watched his face as he washed over her. Biting his bottom lip in concentration as he covered her chest, arms and stomach, “um,” he tried to speak, she knew what he wanted.

She took the loofa from him and replaced it with a bar of soap, “rub it in your hands for a sec, and then use them it’s easier.”

He did just that, lathering up his hands before he placed them directly on her breasts. She let out a sigh, bordering on a moan, as he held them in his hands, massaging the soap in carefully. Thumbs rubbing over her nipples as he made sure to not miss a spot.

She was in heaven, tossing her head back against the shower wall as he ran his hands over her more. Exploring her as she leaned against the wall.

Down her stomach, past her belly button, washing her hips before dropping to his knees. Using the bar of soap once more to wash over her legs as she stared at him, amazed by the bravery he was showing.

The water getting in his eyes down there, he stood and pushed his hair back out of his face as the water dropped to the floor, “turn around?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” she replied, turning to face the wall.

He ran his soapy hands all over her back, over her shoulders and arms. Paying special attention to her butt, which made her laugh, she was only a little ticklish there.

She was covered head to toe in bubbles, Spencer looked at her with a big grin on his face as he noticed his job was done. Helping her under the water to wash all the soap off.

She lifted her arms to run the water through her hair, feeling her boobs perk up as she did so. Spencer's attention being completely switched to her chest as he watched. “Pass me the gold shampoo bottle?”

“Y-yeah,” he said, grabbing it from behind himself and handing it back to her.

She stepped into his space, pouring the soap into her hand and rubbing it in. “They say if you lather it up it’ll apply easier,” she explained her little life hack as she rubbed her hands together.

Finally running her hands back through her hair in Spencer’s personal bubble. Her boobs pressing against his chest once again. He was breathing heavier as she watched him, hoping soap didn’t make its way into her eye and ruin the moment.

When she finally stepped back to wash the soap out of her hair, Spencer followed, pressing them together once more. Holding her by the waist as she continued to get the soap out.

Once the water ran clean, she rested her hands on Spencer's shoulders. Staring at him as the water ran down her back, his eyelashes covered in water droplets as he stared into her eyes.

He was beautiful like this, just himself.

“Are we ever going to be like a real couple?” He asked softly.

“What do you mean?”

He ran his wet hands over his back as he thought about it for a moment, “I would like to be with you, more than this, but-”

“You mean sex?” She smiled softly, trying her best to not tease him. It was a serious moment, but she loved him too much to see him struggle.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how I’ll react,” he admitted.

“Honey,” she cooed, rubbing her nose against his softly. “Sex doesn’t make us a real couple, first of all. And second, we have all the time in the world, so you take it as slow as you want. We can start little by little, I don’t mind waiting.”

“How do you mean?”

She smirked at him, “have you ever masturbated in the same room as someone else?”

He swallowed sharply, shaking his head softly, “no, have you?”

“No,” she whispered. “But it’s a small step. You can sit beside me, we touch ourselves, nothing overlaps unless you want it to. Ease into it. It would be another easy way to be comfortable with your body around me.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

She reached behind herself to turn the water off, tapping the silver plug with her foot to release the pressure, and stepping out of the shower finally.

—

They dried off, getting into their pj’s before laying on the couch in her empty living room. Listening to the Hozier album that was already sitting on the player and cuddling while their hair dried. Just enjoying each other's company, he was so soft and he smelled amazing, it was so nice to have him in her space.

“Did you still want to?” Spencer cut into the moment.

It made her smile against him, lifting her head off his chest as she went to stand up. “Come on,” she took his hand, helping him to his feet.

She pulled him in close, kissing his lips softly. Only planning to kiss him once, being drawn into his mouth as his hands wrapped around her back.

She held him in return, slowly making her way into the bedroom as they stayed connected, laughing as her back smacked the door frame and then at the way he fell into her bed with her on top.

Her music softly travelled in from the living area, they kept the lights off as they stripped out of their pants and got under the covers.

“How did you want to start?” She asked, turning to face him as she laid against the pillow.

“Can we just kiss for a while?”

“Absolutely,” she smiled, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning in.

She was laying slightly on top of him, holding his face in her hands as she kissed him. His tongue was soft, swirling with hers as they made out softly. He was very handsy, wanting to touch every single part of her once again like he didn’t get enough in the shower.

She spread her leg between his, sitting on his thigh as she rubbed against him. He bit her lip, squeezing her skin at the feeling. “I think I can do it,” he said softly.

“No,” she whispered, kissing his neck before getting off him. “I don’t want to hear I think. It’s a yes or it’s a no.”

“Okay,” he managed to bring reason back into his horny brain.

He took his shirt off, only in boxers beside her, tenting in them slightly. She took off her shirt as well, laying back against the pillow. He watched her breasts the whole time, licking his lips as he leaned on his side.

She ran a hand over her side, cupping her breast and tossing her head into the pillow more. “I’m starting without you,” she teased, her other hand slipping under the band of her underwear.

He laid on his back, bending his knees as he slipped his boxers off, she looked over at him with careful eyes. Genuinely curious about how beautiful he would look rock hard and begging for it.

She didn’t move her hand, just resting it under her underwear to entice him to start. She watched as he stroked himself softly, returning his attention to her smiling face.

She pushed her shirt and underwear off as well, scooting in closer to him so she was pressed against his side. Bending one knee so she could ghost her fingers over the folds as he watched her.

“I want to touch you,” he rushed the words out.

“Okay.”

He reached his left hand over, resting it on her hip before resting his hand on top of hers. She slipped it out from under his grasp, guiding his fingers to her clit as she stretched her legs further apart.

“Yeah, like that,” she encouraged him.

“W-would you?”

“Finish the sentence,” she instructed him. “Tell me exactly what you want.”

“Stroke me, I want it. Yes.”

She wrapped her fist around him, feeling his fingers swoop down to see how wet she was. “Oh,” she jerked her hips against his side, not expecting him to loop the wetness back up and rub her clit again.

He groaned as she stroked him faster, both of them staring at their own handiwork. She was fascinated with how big he was, being able to stroke up and down him so gracefully it was like she was always meant to. She licked her lips as she saw the pearl of precum drip out. Gathering it up with her thumb as she slid back down his length.

He was panting, trying to hold himself back as she kept jerking him off. Lightly touching her clit as all his attention focused on not cuming so soon.

“It’s okay honey,” she whispered in his ear.

Straddling his thigh then. His hand resting on her clit still as she ground down on him. “Is this okay?” She asked.

He nodded, “yes,” biting his lip so he didn’t explode right then and there.

He felt amazing on her, every time her hips ground down her clit rested right between his fingers perfectly to gain the perfect amount of friction back and forth.

She let herself go, bucking her hips and moaning as she stroked him with one hand. Resting the other behind her neck so he could look at her boobs perk up again, sending him so close to the edge he almost jumped out of his skin.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “C-an I?”

“Cum baby,” she gasped. Following her own instruction as she watched the cum burst from him, shooting up over her fist as she stroked him through it. Grinding against him as she whimpered, “fuck, I love you,” leaving her mouth.

Letting go of his dick as he started to whine, she dropped down against him with her face nestled into his neck.

She kissed him, over and over again. Peppering them against his skin for the best orgasm she has ever had.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against his skin as he came down from the high. His chest heaving as he tried to calm down, only picking up again when she heard the sob.

“Shhh,” she whispered against his skin, letting him hold her tighter against him as he cried. “I love you, honey, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”

She felt the tears welling in her own eyes, overwhelmed with her feelings for him. “I love you so much Spencer,” she cried against his skin, the tears dripping down his neck slowly.

His hands ran over her back, they held each other while they cried.

Everything from the last week finally catching up with them both. They hadn’t taken a moment to talk about any of it, the fact he was even in prison or what happened after. They just moved on, pretending it was fine now.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered finally.

“Me too,” he pressed his hand onto her cheek, freeing her from his neck as she sat up a little.

Both of them still gross from the sex, pressing sweaty foreheads together as they took a moment. “I’m so sorry,” she emphasized, “are you okay?”

“I’m wonderful,” he laughed at the absurdity. “I’m crying because I love you so much.”

“Really?” She laughed too.

He nodded softly. Kissing her nose as she pulled back to look at him better. “I want to touch you but,” she laughed at the mess on her hand and where she rested it on his chest. “Can we pause for one sec?” She couldn’t stop smiling.

The two of them continuing to laugh at the situation as they cleaned up in the bathroom, laughing even harder as she sat to pee like they had been married for a million years already, laughing the hardest when it came out in dribbles from all the laughing.

Going through every emotion in the book as they coped with the insanity together.

Once they were clean they crawled back into bed. Resuming almost the same position as she sat down on his lap, holding his face in her hands like she wanted to. Rubbing her thumbs on his cheeks as he pulled her in closer by her hips.

“Tell me what you’re feeling?” She whispered.

“I’m happy, you saved my life and I can’t believe I get to do this with you,” he explained softly, moving his hands on her back. He talked with his hands, not able to say anything without them moving.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever known, Spencer,” she reassured him.

“Why?” He asked softly. “not in a pity party sense, I just want to know how you feel. You haven’t really told me, I’ve been waiting for you to open up, I thought maybe you were just like that because it was your job, but I want to know you more.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she bumped their noses together. “I don’t normally talk to people, even with Derek I’m really closed off. But I do trust you, and I want to, I just wanted to experience you when you’re free. I wanted to see if this overwhelming ache in my heart would dissipate as I was allowed to love you.”

She didn’t want to cry again. Blinking so the tears rolled back behind her eyes, licking her lips as her head tilted slightly. She just stared at his honey eyes, glossy and blown out. So absolutely beautiful.

“It got worse,” she laughed slightly. “I realized that now that you’re free you don’t have to see me every day, luckily you want to. But, now I think about losing you instead of keeping you safe.”

“Never,” he shook his head, face still cupped in her hands. “I’m never leaving you, you’re going to need a restraining order if you want to break up.”

She laughed, pushing the tears out, finally. Spencer kissed her cheeks, wiping the tears away with his lips. “Okay,” her voice broke as she tried not to cry anymore.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered. “You’re brave and kind, incredibly smart. You’re willing to do whatever it takes for the ones you love, you’re the only person I want to talk to every day.”

“I was going to say that about you,” she pressed their lips together finally, pushing him back against the headboard.

She laid her head on his shoulder, cuddling into him as she sat in his lap, “I have never loved anyone like this.”

“Me either,” he admitted as he pressed his cheek to her head. “Not even with Maeve, or Derek I know he told you.”

“And your mom,” she smiled. “She actually welcomed me to the family, said she always wanted a daughter. It’s nice to have a mom again.”

That broke him, he finally dropped the tuff boyfriend act he was putting up to hear her feelings, crying at his mother and the love of his life being close. She could tell he was a mamma’s boy, they had a bond Y/N wished she could have with someone. The closest she had to a Diana was Derek, as funny as that was.

She let him cry, not prying into it at all. Letting him take control of his emotions and the conversation. She ran her hands up and down his arm, soothing him softly as he held on to her.

“I was so scared,” is all Spencer says.

“I can imagine.”

“No, I mean about my mom,” he corrects her softly. “I thought the second she got her diagnosis that I ruined everything for her. She was going to forget me before I could even find a person to marry, let alone give her grandkids.

‘She was going to forget me,’ echoed in her mind as she wrapped her head around what he was saying. He was more terrified of losing his mother and missing time with her than he was about being in prison. He really put every ounce of his love into his family, it was beautiful.

“I applied to work at the sanatarium,” is how she answers. “They needed a GP and I need a job. This way I can see her every day, and you can go to work or teach or do whatever and know she’ll be okay. And old people seem nicer than cops and criminals.”

“I love you.”

She laughs, kissing his neck softly. “She’ll be okay, we’ll get her taken care of and who knows, maybe we’ll have more answers before a grandkid rolls around.”

It’s a risk, joking about having kids with him already. But she was ready for a life sentence with him, willing to stay in that god-awful prison as long as he was there. Including if he lost his case.

“You’re too good to me.”

“I try,” she smiled. “You’re pretty fantastic yourself, I didn’t just fall in love with your pretty face, sure you’re helpful and do what I say. But I love you because of what’s in here,” she ran her hand over his chest.

He just held her, silence encapsulating the room finally. The record stopped playing in the living room, no one was on the street at this time of night, the world stopped as she laid in his arms.

The Sunday morning sun was going to start coming up as she stayed up in his lap, both of them settling more against the pillow. She had no plans to get off him, he had no plans to separate from her loving embrace.

a/n: still working on an epilogue idk when it'll be done

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