#my guy's gotta set boundaries for himself

[withlove-angel]

How would they confess to you ?

(Luffy, sanji, zoro, Buggy, law)

Luffy

I think Luffy would be very straightforward with his confession, he wouldn't want to beat around the bush or cause any confusion. He would be very clear about his feelings for you and how much you mean to him. He might not be the most romantic person in the world but he would try his best to show you how much he cares about you and how important you are to him.

He might start by saying something like, "You know, I've been really enjoying our time together, and I have to say...I'm starting to fall for you!" Then, he might add, "Oh, who am I kidding, I've completely fallen for you! You're the only person who can make me smile like this and I never want that to go away." He might even end his confession with, "So, wanna be my treasure?"

Sanji

Well, Sanji might not confess right away, but he might start with subtle hints. He might drop little compliments or flirt a lot more. He would also make an extra-special meal to impress you. Eventually, he might get up the courage to tell you how he feels, and he would say something like "You're so beautiful and kind, it's hard not to have a crush on you"

That's true! Sanji does like to flirt, but he's also very respectful of women and their boundaries. He wouldn't push if you said no, but he might be a bit... persistent... if you said maybe, or said you wanted to get to know him better before making a decision. He might ask you more questions about yourself and your interests, or try to impress you with his cooking or fighting skills. But he wouldn't force you into anything, even if he does really like you

"I love your smile, and your laugh. Your eyes sparkle like jewels and your hair is like the sun on a sunny day. You're strong and brave, and you don't let anything stop you. I want to be the person who makes you smile the most in the whole world. My heart is yours; will you please accept it?"

Zoro

The way I envision it, he'd confess during a time of quiet, peace, and contemplation. He'd be hesitant, nervous, probably even a little awkward in his own way, but he'd do it without hesitation because it's what he's feeling. He'd want it to be genuine and sincere, and maybe it'd even be a spur-of-the-moment decision. If it's a more emotional moment, his swords might even be discarded to the side, as a symbolic gesture

*deep breath*" Oi. You know it's me, right? There's something I wanna get off my chest. It's not easy for me to put it into words. I don't know if I'm making sense... But here goes. I kinda like you- like like you. A lot. I think I've felt this way for a while now, but I haven't been able to say it. I know it's a lot to just say out loud, and it feels a bit... reckless. But I gotta just get it out. I like you."

Buggy

Buggy likes to present himself as powerful and intimidating. But deep down he's just an insecure guy who worries about what others think of him. In a private setting with someone he trusts, I think Buggy would be a lot more honest and open about his feelings. But he would still do it his own way, maybe in a roundabout way without actually saying the words "I love you".

I think Buggy would be very loyal and protective in a relationship, and he'd make sure that his partner knows that he values their connection deeply.

He would be careful not to say anything overly cheesy or melodramatic. He might try to lighten the mood with a joke, or compliment you in a way that makes you feel special and important to him. He would probably try to impress you with his strength and courage, and show off his abilities as a fighter and leader.

He would probably also be quite thoughtful and sweet, and show that he really cares about your well-being and happiness. But he wouldn't want to be too vulnerable or emotional, so he would likely try to keep things light and playful.

"So.. I.. err.. *cough* you're the most beautiful and amazing person I've ever met. (Turns all red) *cough* I mean... err... you're not too bad I guess. (Tries to smile) Wanna.. err.. be my partner.. I mean... umm... *cough* wanna be my romantic partner? Yeah, that's it. *cough* That was a joke, right? Right?"

Law

Law is the type to give subtle hints that he likes someone while keeping his feelings under wraps. If you like him too, you'd probably have to make a move first. He's the type to deny his feelings until the moment they're expressed. He has a hard time displaying his emotions, although he's quite a warm person internally.

If you confess he would probably be stunned at first. He wouldn't expect this to happen. However, once he processes what's occurred, he would probably say something along the lines of "Oh... hmm. Is that so?" His expression would definitely display his surprised and potentially pleased state. Though, he'll probably keep his answer brief and ambiguous. But the slightly blush and smirk on his face dont lie...

[turtletaubwrites]

My Needy Girl ~ Part 4

Pairing: Zoro x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3,707

This is part 4 of the Series 'We've All Got Needs,' linked below:

We've All Got Needs Masterlist

Ao3 Series Link

Summary: You’re starting to question how safe your arrangement with your crewmate is. Zoro really wants to be the world’s greatest ‘swordsman.’ Someone on the crew might have heard you last night. Zoro might be taking it badly.

Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Fem!Reader, 18+ Only, MDNI, Mildly Dubious Consent, Reader-Insert, Smut, Flirting, Accidental Exhibitionism, Mention of Masturbation, Rough Sex, Penis in Vagina Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Cock Warming, Dom Zoro, Swearing, lil angst, Casual Sex, Possessive Sex, Possessive Behavior, Hair-Pulling, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Condoms, Shameless Smut, Friends with Benefits, Crewmates with Benefits, Relationship Discussions, Zoro's a straight to the point kinda guy, and we love that, but now he needs to figure out what he wants

A/N: Oops, I accidentally wrote way too much again. Some character stuff, more crew interactions, lil angst?, and some build up to future installments. But there is smut at the end, I swear! I hope you enjoy, I'm excited for what's up next! 😊⚔

Somehow you’d managed to stay awake while Zoro slept easily, resting his head on your lap. You would have left on your own, but you couldn’t leave without waking the sleepy swordsman. He carried you, and he would brook no arguments.

All that time sitting there had driven you a bit crazy. Your body was still sore from the mind blowing abuse, the orgasms he’d ripped from you. But your mind was still reeling from your brief discussion of boundaries, followed immediately by the most possessive sex you’d ever had.

That’s just sex. He told you he wanted to stay casual, you agreed you could see other people.

Not that you wanted to. He was right. You couldn’t imagine going to anyone else when he’d be here, waiting to tear you apart like that again. 

This is dangerous.

What if I fall for him? What if he actually is that possessive, and it causes problems? What if I get hurt? What if I have to leave the crew because we can’t keep our shit together?

These fears had kept dancing in your mind, taking turns with your shivering memories of his rough hands on your skin.

You didn’t want to have these worries. You wanted to trust that he was honest with you and himself, and that you both could keep this strictly casual.

You wanted to keep space between you. 

How can I be sure he can keep his own distance? Keep that possessive nature just during sex?

You’d managed to fall asleep at some point, til Nami stuck her head into your room.

“Come on, sleepy head. You’ve gotta get breakfast before Luffy eats everything.”

Groaning, you looked in the mirror. Surprisingly, you only looked half dead. You did what you could quickly, then traipsed to the galley. 

Sitting yourself on the end of the table next to Luffy, you gratefully poured coffee into the mug that was waiting for you. Luffy scooted over to give you room before leaning over the table, and speaking with his mouth full. 

“Hey Zoro, have you been exercising in your room lately? You’ve been extra noisy.”

Nami narrowed her eyes at Zoro while you took a sip of your coffee, pretending you hadn’t heard Luffy’s hilarious question.

“Yeah, actually, I’ve uh, been working on some extra core strengthening exercises lately.”

Usopp chimed in after chugging some tangerine juice.

“Mind not doing them in the middle of the night, green guy? Some of us can’t nap seven times a day like you do.”

You joined the group in laughing, and kept your eyes away from Zoro’s.

Sanji appeared next to you, setting a plate down, the delicious scent making you sigh as your eyes fluttered closed. Having Sanji as the ship’s cook made you feel spoiled.

“Good morning, sweetheart. I made some cinnamon syrup for your pancakes, I know how much you enjoy it.”

“Oh, um, thank you Sanji.”

His smile deepened, and you looked away from his bright eyes.

Then the whole group went quiet as Sanji sat at the table next to you.

Normally, Sanji didn’t eat until the rest of the crew was finished. He’d never sat beside you during a meal that he'd cooked before. 

He reached across you to grab the coffee pot. The whole length of his thigh pressed against yours while he poured himself a drink. 

“Can I have some cinnamon syrup, Sanji? 

“You already ate 12 pancakes Luffy. I’ll make you cinnamon syrup tomorrow.”

You looked down at your tantalizing breakfast, body tingling from the heat of Sanji's firm leg still pressed against yours. You risked glancing up at Zoro, but he was too busy scowling at Sanji to notice. 

You spent the day cataloging the seeds and dried herbs on the ship. There were a few that you’d had to argue with Sanji about, agreeing to split whatever you found for kitchen use.

Thoughts of the cook this morning made your cheeks flush, and you shook your head. Sanji’s just being Sanji. 

You avoided the kitchen for lunch, enjoying a few snacks and tangerines on deck with Nami.

“Do the boys seem extra obnoxious lately, or is it just me?”

Your eyes widened at Nami’s words. You wanted to tell her everything, but didn’t want to risk her judgement. 

“It’s hard to tell, aren’t they always?”

“I guess.”

Nami picked at her nails before eyeing you again.

“Find any cool plants on the last island?”

Feeling a soft smile hit your lips, you leaned toward her, and shook your head.

“Nope, just picked up some rosemary and chamomile. We’re always running out.”

“Ohh, did you make more of that rosemary hair stuff?”

Chuckling, you nodded. 

“I have enough, I’ll make you some tomorrow. Chopper uses it too.”

“I can tell! He’s like a walking air freshener when he washes all that fur.”

Still giggling with Nami, your laugh got cut short when Zoro came out on deck with rage in his eyes.

“Someone didn’t get their beauty sleep.”

Nami had given a stage whisper, and Zoro scowled at her before starting his training routine. 

You had to go inside, otherwise you would have been drooling on deck while you watched him. 

Your work always had you bouncing between studying with Chopper, and making salves and tinctures in the kitchen. You chose Chopper today. 

“Hi Chopper!”

“Oh, hi, Y/N! What are you working on today?”

“I was going to ask you. Are we stocked up on salves?” I’ve got more aloe for burns if we need it.”

“We’re all set! I’m so glad we have you on board, it really helps me focus on learning more with you helping me make such good supplies!”

You grinned at Chopper, his cute, sweet face had been planted into medical books when you interrupted.

You decided against spending the rest of the day in the kitchen. They can wait on their rosemary oil for another day.

By the time dinner came around, you were feeling more yourself. Until you walked in and saw both Zoro and Sanji look at you. Rushing to your seat, you knocked over your glass while reaching for the carafe of water. Luckily Robin’s many hands caught it. You thanked her, but she just tilted her head at you inquisitively.

There’s no way we can keep this secret for long. 

You fought again not to glance at Zoro, afraid that one look would make everyone see what you’d been doing together. 

Sanji appeared next to you again, and you startled.

“Apologies, beautiful. I was just checking that what you have is enough to satisfy you. If not, I’m sure I can provide something more to your liking.”

It sounded like normal Sanji banter, but your pulse raced when you met his eyes. They’d dilated a bit, making them dark, and you realized you hadn’t responded.

Sanji winked at you, and now you were sure he seemed a little more forward than even he normally was. Nami interrupted, saving you from your stunned silence.

“Ew, gross, Sanji. Quit making Y/N uncomfortable, and go bring us dessert”

Sanji kept his smirking eyes on yours for another moment before bowing, and excusing himself to the pantry.

You flicked your eyes toward Zoro, and caught him staring after Sanji like he was about to pull out his swords in the kitchen.

You made a face at your tea, and Luffy poked you with a stretched finger on the forehead.

“You okay, Y/N? Your face has been red a lot lately. Do you have a fever?”

You held in a laugh as Usopp scooched away from your potential illness, while Robin sent hands across the table to touch your forehead.

“Y/N’s fine, you boys just need to stop bothering her. Nami, why don’t you raise their interest if they don’t?”

You laughed at their outrage while Nami grinned at you. 

Glancing at Zoro, you saw that his jaw was still clenched as he watched for Sanji’s return. 

As the group stretched, some yawning and heading to bed, Sanji cleared his throat behind you. 

“Y/N, I was hoping you wouldn’t mind helping me. I’d like to stock up on some infused oils so I don’t have to make them daily. Would you give me the honor of assisting me?”

You felt Robins calculating eyes, and Zoro’s penetrating gaze, but couldn’t think of a reason why you shouldn’t help out.

Sanji beamed when you agreed, and you busied yourself grabbing the tools, avoiding everyone’s eye contact as they left.

Zoro seemed to be acting possessive, but you couldn’t tell if it was just his general dislike of the cook, or if he would be this possessive around anyone you get close to. Or if he would want more from you.

You didn’t like the thought of testing it out. 

I need to stop this now if he can’t handle being casual. I can’t risk that.

Sanji’s warm presence beside you was so calming. You worked together, talking softly, laughing at jokes, and grinning at his praise. He’d always been too much, and the way he hits on every woman in sight made your eyes roll. But he really is good company.

Finishing up, you carefully labeled each bottle with the date and ingredients while he started on the clean up. You joined him at the counter to dry the dishes, shivering when his fingers would touch yours for too long.

“Thank you so much, Y/N. Can I make you some tea?”

You returned to the table, watching him work after you agreed.

Sanji sat across from you, and the air seemed hot, not just from the steam of the tea. 

“Y/N, I need to be honest with you.”

“About what, Sanji?”

He pulled back, looking ashamed.

“I, um. I heard your conversation here last night.”

Your mouth fell open as you remembered. Trying to get Zoro to talk about boundaries. Zoro rubbing your hand along his cock before dragging you out of your seat to go fuck in his quarters.

“Wh-Why did you listen?”

You felt very still, not sure what emotion to feel.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I was coming back to prep for the morning meal. I should have interrupted or left. But I heard, and I had to make sure you were okay. I didn’t like the way he spoke to you.”

You watched the muscles in Sanji’s jaw clench.

“Are you going to tell anyone?”

Sanji’s eyes went wide, leaning forward.

“I would never, Y/N! But I will kill him if he hurts you.”

You stared, realizing that he was completely serious.

“Thank you, he’s not hurting me, Sanji. We just have an arrangement.”

Sanji scoffed, and you raised your brows.

“I’m sure that Mosshead is perfectly happy with his arrangement. Happy to take and take.”

Sanji set his hand on the table next to yours, a few fingers trailing along the edges of yours. Chills ran up your body as you looked back into his darkened eyes.

“You deserve someone who will give and give to you. Someone who values your pleasure more than their own.”

“How would you- You listened to that too, didn’t you?”

He pulled his hand back, and ran it through his hair. He sat back from you, lighting a cigarette. I’m actually starting to enjoy that smell. Fuck.

“I know, it was wrong. But he was so rough with you in the kitchen. I was worried he would hurt you too much.”

Your breathing got heavy at the thought of Sanji listening in while Zoro fucked you into oblivion. Of him listening to your muffled moans and screams, hearing you beg for Zoro’s cock. 

You met Sanji’s eyes again, feeling heat pooling between your legs. His eyes were trained on your parted lips, your breathing hot. Your brain seemed to shut off as other parts of you took the wheel.

“Did you touch yourself while you listened to me?”

“N-No, Y/N, I...”

His eyes looked panicked, and you watched his tongue push forward slightly to wet his lips.

“Please don’t lie.”

Your words came out strained, and Sanji glanced at your breasts as they heaved with your breathing.

“I-I’m sorry. It was so wrong. I just… the sounds you made…”

Your eyes flew back in your head, a small moan escaped your lips. You felt the table shift, as if Sanji had thrust toward you at your sound. 

His eyes were heavy lidded, his mouth hanging open, but he pulled himself together.

“Let me show you, beautiful. Let me give you what you need. Let me take care of you.”

Sanji’s pleading made your skin hot, and you felt wetness seeping through your clothes at the thought of him taking you right now on the kitchen table. 

But you managed to keep your head enough, trying to keep a fucking handle on something. 

“I-I can’t. Not yet.”

Sanji stared, waiting. The word ‘yet’ seemed to hook him.

“I made an arrangement. I have to make sure that’s okay first. Then we can talk.”

You traced one finger along his hand, pulling it away before you pulled him toward you. 

Sanji looked like part of him wanted to be angry when you mentioned the arrangement, but the rest of him seemed to be practically drooling.

I wonder if he’ll listen in again.

That thought sent you shivering as you went to find the swordsman.

You didn’t have to go far.

Zoro was waiting for you in the hall. Your breath felt trapped in your throat at his expression. He nodded toward his quarters and you started moving, his body radiating heat behind you. 

When you made it inside, he closed the door quietly, then shoved you against the wall. 

“Zoro, I- Zoro!”

You cried out as Zoro shoved his hand down the front of your pants, fingers slipping into your folds from how wet Sanji’s confession had made you. 

Zoro pulled his fingers from you, and you slumped against the wall as he shoved them into his mouth. 

“Zoro…”

“It’s all good, Needy. Go fuck the cook if you want to. I know he won’t be enough for your tasty, needy little cunt.”

You moaned, but tried to pull yourself together. Your voice came out high and breathy.

“I don’t want what we’re doing together to cause issues. Tell me if you’re not okay with this.”

“I’m okay, Needy. You can fuck everyone on the ship if you want. I know who you’ll be begging for.”

You moaned again as Zoro started trailing his hand down your stomach, crawling back down to your center.

“But Zoro, why? Why are you claiming me? We shouldn’t be doing this if it’s already causing prob- unf…”

Zoro had shoved two fingers inside of you, and was curling them right against that needy spot. 

“You want me to stop, Y/N? You want me to stop giving you what you need?”

His fingers went faster, and you were panting, hanging onto the wall. 

“Tell me you want me to stop making you feel good.”

You moaned, your body so close to the brink already.

“Well, what do you need me to do?”

“D-Don’t stop, Zoro, pleease.”

Your desperate whine made him groan, thrusting against your thigh while his fingers kept going.

With his free hand he dug through his pocket, and shoved a condom at you, before pulling himself out of his pants.

“Put this on my dick now, before I take you without it.”

He groaned again at the feeling of your pussy clenching his fingers at that threat. 

“You’d fucking like that wouldn’t you?”

You scrambled to open the wrapper, crying out as you touched him, smoothing the condom down his length. 

Gasping as Zoro withdrew his fingers from you, you whined pathetically, begging for him. 

“There she is. My Needy girl. Come here.”

Zoro tore your pants off, then sat with you straddling him on his chair. 

He made you lift up, gasping as you hovered over him. Smirking, he pulled your panties aside, and forced you to slam onto his swollen cock. 

You felt tears stinging your eyes as you fought your scream. 

“So good at staying quiet, huh, Y/N. Just a hungry little kitten, crying for some attention.”

You were lost, the feeling of his long cock hilted within you, but not moving, was making you feel feral. You tried to move your hips, to fuck him, but Zoro laughed and held your hips in place. 

“Nuh uh. You’ve gotta earn it now. Just sit still, and keep my cock warm, Needy.”

You slumped against his shoulder, twitching with every slight movement. He was so long and it almost hurt, but you knew if he just moved a little it would take you there. You continued struggling for friction, but he just gripped you in place and chuckled at your distress.

“Wh-What do you want Zo-Zoro?”

Digging your nails into his arms to stay steady, you watched his smug face. 

“I just want you to remember how it feels to have my cock inside you. I want you to think about it, all day everyday.”

You couldn’t help your whimpers as he leaned forward to breathe the next words along your neck.

“I want you to crave my cock, even when he’s fucking you. I want you to remember that no one can fuck you like I can. The cook will just warm you up for me.”

He laughed then, and bit your ear.

“Maybe I should thank him. He’ll get you ready for me. All warmed up, your hungry cunt dripping wet, so I can fuck you even harder than I have been. How does that sound, Needy?”

Zoro had thrust up into you to emphasize your nickname, and you were a desperate mess. 

All you could do was drag your drooling lips along his neck and shoulder, scratching uselessly at his arms while you begged, practically sobbing.

“Please, Zoro. Yes please, fuck. I need you, pleeease.”

His hand gripped into your hair, and you stopped breathing as he stared down at you. 

“That’s right, Y/N. I’m the one who can give you what you need.”

If you’d known how to respond, you couldn’t. Zoro used the fingers in your hair, and the hand at your waist as leverage to start shoving you onto his cock, over and over. You came so quickly, and he growled, invading your mouth with his tongue. Tears kept streaming down your face as he kept thrusting up into you through your orgasm. His rough hands and mouth kept you trapped on his cock, his tongue muffling your screams.

He pulled away from your lips, leaving you gasping. 

“Tell me you need my cock, baby.”

You moaned for him, your body almost taking you there again for him. 

“Finger yourself, and tell me how much you need my fucking dick.”

The demand in his words made your eyes roll back. You reached for your clit, slippery with your overwhelming pleasure. 

“I love your cock Zoro. I-I need to feel your cock in me everyday, it’s so fucking good!”

Zoro groaned, his eyes clamping shut as his thrusts slowed, erratic. You could feel him start to pulse inside you, it sent you screaming while you came again. Zoro managed to cover your mouth with a hand while he fucked into you through his own orgasm and yours, until he collapsed against the back of the chair, your body slumped onto his. 

Thoughts were out of reach as you convulsed in his arms. 

Then you gasped as his warm palm started smoothing along your spine, then rubbed in gentle circles. 

He kept twitching inside you, and you kept clenching around him, so he stood with a grunt, lifting you and settling you into his hammock. He cleaned himself up while you closed your eyes, still not back to reality. 

Then Zoro was leaning toward you, running a hand lightly along your arms. 

“I’m sorry I keep interrupting you when you want to talk.”

You choked out a laugh, and had to clear your throat a few times before replying.

“I have enjoyed the interruptions.”

His satisfied smirk made you grin. 

“But we’ve got to be clear on this. As much as I love what you’re doing to me-”

Zoro bit his lip, eyes filling with heat again.

“-we can’t keep this up if it’s going to affect how we act as part of the crew.”

He furrowed his brows, taking a breath. You pushed through, trying to say everything before he distracted you again. 

“I don’t think starting a romantic relationship would be smart. It could end very badly for everyone. I think a casual arrangement to fulfill our needs could be perfect, but only if we don’t let our feelings get in the way.”

He narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms. 

“You just want to fuck the cook.”

You choked again, wanting to laugh, but not sure if he was joking or not. 

“I want us to be very clear about what is and isn’t okay. What do we do if one of us wants to fuck someone else, or starts falling for someone else? How do we handle that, talk about it? What  if one of us starts feeling serious about each other?”

Your face felt hot, but you kept going. 

“I can’t risk losing my place on this crew. Even if it means I don’t get to enjoy our time together again. I need you to seriously think about what you want and need, and what your boundaries are.”

Zoro looked serious, almost sad.

"Zoro, I want to know if how you treat me when we, uh- I need to know how you feel about me, and us right now. Before we get in too deep."

Struggling to get yourself off the hammock, his rough hands helped you steady yourself. 

You pulled your pants on, still wobbling a bit, before you placed a hand on his chest and looked up at him. 

“Let me know when you figure it out. I can wait.”

You left Zoro’s quarters, and didn’t look for eavesdroppers as you snuck to your room. 

Thank you for reading! 💜

TurtleTaub Fanfic Masterlist

Part 5

Buy me a coffee ☕🙏🏼

[j-ensenackles]

baby, i'm jealous

pairing: la knight x fem!reader

summary: jealous of the way la knight flirts with other girls, you decide to give him a taste of his own medicine.

word count: 1.9k

warnings: cursing, some sexual tension

a/n: my first fic! i'm really excited about this one, especially since there are like no la knight fics out there. gotta do my boy some justice! i hope you guys like it, and if you do let me know -- i love feedback!

You weren’t sure what had gotten into you.

Well, that wasn’t totally true. You had an inkling that your actions were spurred by jealousy. At least, that’s what your friends Bianca and Liv attributed your change in attitude to.

“He’s making you crazy, girl,” Bianca began.

You followed her and Liv to an empty table in the catering hall, sitting and setting your plate down.

“Who?” You asked innocently.

Bianca didn’t deign that with a reply, simply giving you a look.

“Look,” you sighed, “I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m just having a little fun.”

“Sure, but don’t you think there’s a better way to get his attention than flirting with other people?” Liv asked, “I mean, you had Jey Uso blushing like a schoolgirl last week. Jey Uso, of all people. Poor guy probably thinks you really do have a thing for him.”

You chuckled at the memory of you walking away from Jey, leaving him red and stuttering. That was an image you’d treasure for a while.

“It’s just for fun. Also,” you pointed your fork at Liv, “I’m not doing it for LA Knight’s attention, if that’s who you’re implying.”

“That’s exactly who I’m implying and you know it.”

“If he gets to flirt with the entire roster, why can’t I?” You asked.

Bianca and Liv exchanged looks.

“You know he’s doing the same thing you are, right? He just flirts with people to get your attention. I think he likes seeing you flustered,” Bianca added.

It was your turn to give her a look.

“I think you’re reading too much into it, B. He barely notices me,” you shrugged, playing indifference.

“I love you, but you’re delusional,” Bianca said, Liv nodding along in agreement.

“Y/N, he’s clearly into you. If you’d pay attention, you’d realize he doesn’t spend half as much time flirting with other girls than he does staring at you,” Liv spoke.

You sighed, poking at your food. Why was it that your feelings for LA Knight were so complicated? You had been into him ever since he came up on the roster from NXT to Smackdown, and you thought he felt the same. That was, until you realized he flirted with everyone else and not just you.

You hated seeing his charming smile directed toward someone else, and the past few weeks had your jealousy bubbling up past restraint. So, you decided to take a page from his own book. Anyone you came across, you flirted with. What was the harm? You were having fun and it didn’t mean anything. Maybe, you rationalized, it would get him to actually pay attention to you.

And yeah, Bianca and Liv had a point. It probably wasn’t fair to your unsuspecting victims – Jey Uso came to mind – but you never went past any boundaries, and your friendships with everyone remained intact.

You watched the object of your conversation now, just over Liv’s shoulder. He was sitting with Bayley, a casual arm draped across her shoulders as she laughed at something he said.

Bianca turned, following your eyes across the room, “Girl, smoke is practically coming out of your ears. Just go after him already.”

Your eyes drifted further across the room, and an idea popped into your head. A (probably) bad one.

“Y/N, no,” Bianca started, again following your gaze, “Cool it with the games.”

Liv’s head whipped around, frantically searching for the object of Bianca’s disapproval.

“What? What is she gonna do?”

You ignored Liv and shrugged, “Why? Knight doesn’t care. Why should I?”

You didn’t wait for a reply. Liv’s continuing questions followed you as you stood and made your way over to Austin Theory, sitting by himself.

“Hey,” you greeted him, standing in front of his table, “Mind if I sit?”

You had to give him credit – Theory shrugged off his confusion with ease.

“Sure,” he nodded.

You smiled, opting to sit next to him instead of across. Theory’s eyebrows shot up, but he scooched over to give you room.

“You looked great in your match earlier,” you began.

You leaned your elbow on the table, angling your body towards his. You made sure to make eye contact, secretly pleased with the way his pupils dilated almost immediately.

“You think so?” Theory grinned eagerly before his cockiness overcame him, “Well, of course I did. Lashley’s a chump.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Knight’s eyes on you instead of whatever Bayley was saying. You smirked. Point Y/N.

“I wouldn’t say Lashley’s a chump. Any guy on the roster would be scared shitless to face him. But you did it. I say that’s impressive,” you leaned a little closer, twirling a piece of hair around your finger.

Theory matched your body language, inching closer.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you let your eyes flicker to his lips for a split second.

That was all it took. Theory grinned like a kid in a candy store. Poor kid was too easy. You felt a little bad, baiting him like this. But Knight’s stare burning into your skin made you pay no mind to the potential wrongness of your actions.

To up the ante, you let your knee graze Theory’s.

“You wanna know something?” you asked.

“What?” Theory’s gaze drifted down to your lips.

“I think…” you feigned shyness, eyes dropping from his and shaking your head, “No, it’s too embarrassing.”

“Nah, it’s alright. What were you gonna say, babe?”

You tried not to physically recoil at the pet name Theory gave you.

You looked up and leaned in, lips to Theory’s ear. Your eyes met Knight’s over Theory’s shoulder – his gaze electric with something you couldn’t place. You noticed his arm was at his side, dropped from Bayley’s shoulder. His jaw ticked, his eyes following your every move. Electricity zinged up your spine at his fervent attention. Checkmate.

“I think you’re by far the hottest United States Champion in history,” your smirk ghosted the shell of Theory’s ear, and you felt the shiver that went down his spine.

“Well, baby, let me show you just how impressive the hottest United States Champion really is,” Theory purred.

“You’re not gonna show her anything, punk,” LA Knight’s voice broke the bubble surrounding you and Theory.

It was your turn to shiver. The authority in Knight’s voice almost had you melting, if not for the annoyance that overtook your initial lust. Your eyes snapped to Knight. He wasn’t looking at you, too busy staring daggers at Theory. Theory turned to him, chest puffing up in an expression of what he probably thought was masculinity. He opened his mouth to reply but you beat him to the punch.

“Excuse me?” You spit out.

“He’s not showin’ you anything,” Knight repeated, eyes never leaving Theory.

“Well, I don’t think that’s for you to decide,” you snapped.

That got his attention. His icy eyes met yours. His jaw ticked as he reached out and grabbed your arm.

"What are you doing?"

“You’re coming with me,” he spoke, pulling you up from your seat and out of the room.

His grip was firm, but not enough to hurt. If you wanted, you could’ve pulled free. But you wanted to follow him, to see what was about to happen. And you suspected Knight knew that, too. Knew how much you were enjoying his attention, his jealousy.

He guided you into an empty room, releasing your arm as the door snicked shut. He turned to you, crossing his arms over his broad chest. The muscles in his arms shifted as he stood, his whole body tense.

“What the hell are you doing?” You huffed, crossing your arms and matching his stance.

“What the hell are you doing? Theory? Really? You could do a lot better than that, doll,” Knight spit out, pinning you with his stare.

You tried to ignore the thumping of your heart at his proximity, his words. Doll. Fuck.

“Why do you care? You seemed to be having a great time with Bayley,” you spat.

He scoffed, “That was – that was nothing.”

“Yeah, okay. It’s not like she was drooling over you or anything,” you rolled your eyes.

The energy in the room shifted as Knight suddenly laughed. Laughed. He was laughing.

You went rigid, arms falling into fists at your sides.

 “What the fuck are you laughing at?”

“I can’t believe it. Wow,” his rich laugh filled the room as he bowled over, holding his stomach.

“What?” You exclaimed, exasperated.

“You’re jealous!”

“What? No! That’s ridiculous,” your voice lacked conviction and you knew it.

Knight’s laughter died, but his smile remained.

“C’mon, doll. I know you are. Why else would you care who I’m talkin’ to?”

Your anger reared its ugly head, and words spilled out before you could stop yourself.

“Why do you care who I flirt with when you flirt with the whole roster? Every single day, Knight, it’s someone new. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of seeing girls drool over you. I’m sick of you not giving me the time of day. I’m sick of you flashing that fucking smile for someone else. Everyone else,” you breathing was labored as you ranted.

Knight’s smile faded, “Do you even know what you’re saying?”

Your cheeks heated, your words catching up to your brain. What did you just do? What did you just admit? If this was a game between you and him, you were losing.

“I-”

Knight held up a hand, stopping you.

“Hold on. I’m not – that’s not… God, Y/N. Do you know what you do to me? Why do you think I act that way, huh? You ever notice that it's only when you’re in the room? You ever think I just do it ‘cause I’m trying to get your attention?”

You blinked, all anger and embarrassment draining from your system just as quickly as it appeared.

“Wait, what?” You answered dumbly.

Knight scoffed, “Y/N, I do it to get you riled up. I guess I just wanted you to do somethin’ about it.”

“Well, I did.”

“I didn’t mean like that. Not by flirting with Theory,” he spat the name with disgust.

“Jesus, Knight, I thought you were interested in the entire female population but me.”

“No, doll. I’m not interested in anyone but you,” he moved closer, a smile blooming on his face.

Usually, his smile was dangerous. Charming. Sizzling with heat. There were a million adjectives for LA Knight’s smile. This one, however, was sweet. Tentative. Soft. It made your heart ache.

He took a few steps closer, eyes searching yours for something like permission. You stood up straight, back meeting the door. He met you there, hips pinning yours. A million sparks ignited in you, pooling to where your bodies made contact. Your face heated, and you squirmed against the intensity in his eyes that was reserved just for you.

His thick fingers found your belt loops, pulling you impossibly closer. Your hands found his chest, smoothing the material of his t-shirt over hard muscles. His eyes studied your face, gradually dropping to your parted lips. Your gaze dragged over the planes of his cheekbones, the light freckles dotting his tan skin. You refused to look into his eyes, knowing you’d come undone if you did. You swallowed, throat suddenly dry.

“I’m still pissed at you, you know,” your voice was weak, the bite in your words nonexistent.

“Oh, yeah? What can I do to make it up to you, sugar?” His smirk had you weak in the knees.

You were pretty sure if his body wasn’t practically holding yours up, you’d collapse. A rush of adrenaline crashed through you as your gaze flickered from his eyes to his lips and back again.

“I have a few ideas.”

You had never been so glad to be jealous.

[nolita-fairytale]

Congrats on all of your progress and growth!! You deserve it so much, and we love and appreciate all of your hard work w these fics. Like you never fail to have me kicking my feet and giggling

Could I do 🥐 with jealous Carmy or Luca hehehe (add smut if you so wish 🫣🤭)

"WAIT SORRY I MIXED UP THE EMOJI I MEANT 🍝" -- @not-a-glad-gladiator, you ask for a headcanon, and shall receive!

Jealous Carmy & Jealous Luca Headcanons

Jealous!Luca:

ok so hear me out: in the show we get the impression that Carmy and Luca are cut from similar cloth (didn't do well in school, struggled a bit when younger, found solace and belonging in the kitchen) but Luca happens to be the anthesis of Carmy in so many ways.

i think luca would have a certain amount of confidence and not act on his jealous feelings for as long as possible. he'd try to stay even keeled, reminding himself that you chose him and that he's gotta stop doubting himself.

however, he just can't stand watching the same line cook hit on you for a third time, so after blowing up at the line cook one night, leading to luca sending the guy home, a rare, RARE, occurrence, you know something's up.

by the time you get home, you barely have time to ask him what the hell happened on the line that night before he's pinning you up against the wall, begging you to let him make it up to you.

after a night of hot, hot sex filled with passion, frustration, and luca's singular to desire to hear his and only his name on your lips, the two of you lay in bed together, just trying to catch your breath. you begin laughing as you realize what just happened.

"what?" luca asks you. "you were jealous, weren't you?!" and you can't stop laughing. "it's not funny, babe!" "it-, no, i know. it's not funny. and it also is. why didn't you just talk to me?" "i... i have no bloody idea."

"you know i don't care for that guy, right?" "well, i know now. but it bothers me." "i'm sorry babe. i'll tell him to fuck off.... though i think you made that quite clear tonight." luca groans, only mildly embarrassed by his behavior from earlier.

the two of you talk it out and you reassure him that there's nothing to worry about.

"while i'd much rather you talk to me about it... i've got to admit, babe. that was hot." you smirk.

Jealous!Carmy:

okay don't kill me but i think jealous!carmy would be significantly less sexy, at least carmy-sans-any-therapy

you and carmy go to a holiday party at cicero's and after leaving to go grab a new round of drinks, some guy starts hitting on you, and carmy is boiling with rage.

instead of having a healthy conversation, he picks a fight with you, leading to the two of you going home early.

but carmy doesn't want to talk about it and you can't figure out why he's not only upset, but shutting you out. you stay the night anyways, the both of you going to bed angry. only the wall he puts up lasts for a few days and you start to worry about him/your relationship.

it's not till later that night that he shows up on your doorstep, ready to talk and sure as hell ready to apologize.

"carmy, will you tell me what i did?" you ask him, solemnly. "it's... shit... fuck. i'm sorry. it's not you."

"are you breaking up with me?" "no i... fuck." he takes a beat and it feels impossible for him to admit that "i was jealous... of that guy." "what guy?" "from cicero's party."

"wait. THAT GUY!?"

and suddenly, he feels like a complete idiot for making this such a huge deal. the two of you talk it out and you have to set some boundaries with him. "carm, i need you to talk to me about this kind of shit, okay?" "that's what people do. when they're in a relationship. because you scared the shit out of me and... you can't just like... shut me out for a few days, okay?" "okay. it's just that... i haven't really done this before. been in a relationship." "well, we can figure it out together then."

and then, because luca got a sexy jealousy storyline, you and carmy have the make up sex of your life, as he murmurs, "i'm sorry" into each kiss against your skin.

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 8

Well this was a whole-ass SITUATION. I'm still processing, but another outstanding ep. The twin scents of audacity and desperation hung over this episode. Sand tries and fails to have any kind of backbone with Ray. Boston sits in purgatory and decides nope, hell it is. Cheum learns more valuable lessons about perhaps minding her own business. Nick might be moving on to Zaddy!Papang. Mew spirals. Yo and Plug break up. And Top...maybe set Ray up to get arrested so he could look like a hero? Everybody had the goddamn audacity this episode. Y'all went up for Mew's crazy eyes last week, let's see where the gworls are landing for me this week.

⭐1. Atom

People with self-confidence like you are very charming to me.

OH SIR! Talk about coming in hot! Atom's in an experimental mood and looking for somebody to blow his back out, so of course he thinks of Boston, and he's putting out whatever sauce he can muster to entice him. I gotta say, this is a wrinkle I ABSOLUTELY did not see coming but the mess is MESSING and I'm fully on board. Cheum is gonna LOSE IT.

🔺2. Boston (3)

Alright. I’m a social leper.

Well he didn't do a lot this week but boy did he make it count: his bitchface at Nick, who it seems he might have really started to care about; poking at Top's soft spots; telling Cheum maybe she should mind her own business; and just talkin' gay shit with Atom who is VERY into gay shit right now it would seem...every second Boston was onscreen was a second of perfection. ESPECIALLY the second when he decides to make yet another terrible decision and take Atom home and maybe give him what he's been sniffing around asking for. I mean, has learned not ONE goddamn thing and I LOVE that about him.

🔻3. Mew (2)

You take no space in my mind at all.

I haven't seen a classic post-breakup slut spiral this well executed in FOREVER. When Mew did the line of coke I gasped, and when he shoved his tongue down Ray's throat right in Top's face I SCREAMED. Oh honey, you're SUCH a cliché and I love you for it. Mew does not feel an ounce of anything resembling love or attraction for Ray, and he knows it, and he also knows the thought of him and Ray will keep Top up at night, so cigs, booze, yeyo and tonsil hockey it is.

⭐4. Daddy Dan

If you have a friend who likes old people, introduce us.

Papang has arrived, and he's playing the kind of guy who asks college students he's hiring to hook him up with their friends so...that's all present and correct. They love to cast Papang as charming but also slightly seedy and creepy and I'm very into it. Also, in my country there is a strip club/brothel called Dad's Dan so I cackled for a solid 5 minutes at the previews.

⭐5. Freddie Mercury The Second

I want no business with someone else’s boyfriend.

The only person this episode to exhibit even an ounce of self-respect. I salute you sir.

🔻6. Nick (4)

What should I do to earn your forgiveness?

Nick's licking his wounds and trying to get back in the game with Boston, but Nick having never met a boundary he couldn't trample has pretty much sealed that deal for now. As Sand pointed out to him: what was he even doing at that party, other than making a fool of himself?

🔻7. Top (6)

Are you really picking Ray?

Ok so Top's the one who called the cops right? Because they knew exactly who and what they were looking for, and his #1 priority was getting Mew out of Ray's orbit and back into his. Top's beggin' tour wasn't working on anybody except Cheum (who...girl. GIRL!), but he still managed to end the night in bed with Mew, so I guess he'll count that as a win?

🔹8. Cheum (8)

They're all selfish. They don't care about me.

GIRL. Your girlfriend keeps telling you to LEAVE THESE BOYS ALONE AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Now you crying on the couch and don't nobody care except your girlfriend, WHO TOLD YOU. All them boys one by one just telling her to get out of their faces...GIRL YOU ARE A LESBIAN YOU ARE ABOVE BOYS MAKING YOU CRY.

🔻9. April (7)

I know you’re worried about Mew. But he’s a grown man. He can take care of his life.

Girl aren't you tired? That woman don't never listen to you and now instead of having a good time you're feeling her snot seep into your chest through your (slay) outfit and thinking about how you're not getting any sex tonight either. SHE DOESN'T EVEN APPRECIATE YOUR ART.

🔻10. Plug/Yo (5)

There were many people I gave all my heart to. I gave them everything I got. There were many people I gave my room key to. They all returned it to me in the end. I don't want you to raise my expectations. And then you leave me too.

Oof, poor baby Plug. He just wants to live that househusband life but Yo been THRU it and ain't interested in going thru it again. I was surprisingly affected by Mom breaking up with Cool Stepdad, given how little screentime they've had, but Jennie's just that good.

🔻11. Sand (5)

Friends? You and I have never been friends from the get-go.

What more can I say about this loser? He's so embarrassing I can hardly look at him. Ray does not give a good goddamn about him, he uses him as a plaything, a servant or a punching bag as it suits him, and instead of throwing rocks at his ass and telling him to GTFO, he FIGHTS THE DAMN COPS who are trying to take him away. It's almost fascinating, watching this bullshit: every time I think this is surely Sand's rock bottom, he goes lower. We've got 4 episodes left but I'm calling it now: Sand is the most pathetic character on this show.

🔻12. Ray (1)

Let's hire a DJ instead this time. I don't want a band anymore.

OH MY GOD FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE. Does Thailand do 5150s? Because Ray needs to be committed as a danger to himself and others. He got everything he wanted and IT'S NOT ENOUGH, just as we all (I hope) knew it wouldn't be. And then on top of that Mew refuses his kiss in private but lays one on him in Top's face and it's like he just lost it. That ugly scene, breaking up Sand's encounter with Freddie II (shades of him doing the same with Sand's date earlier in the season), claiming ownership of him (told y'all) forcing a kiss on him because Sand's his property right? Ray was downright nasty this week, and not in an enjoyable way.

[gracexthoughts]

of violent delights chap 22

the champions

31 october 1996

Mattheo’s POV 

“It’s not going to wooork!” Granger calls in a sing-song voice as the Twins soak in the scattered applause from the other students around, ready to submit their names. The Goblet of Fire has been set up towards the front of the Great Hall, the tables pushed back and squished together to accommodate the large cup and magical age line surrounding it. 

“C’mon, ‘Mione!” One twin groans. 

“Have a little faith,” adds the other, which I think is George. Mia has been trying to show me how to tell them apart and if they would stand still I probably could do it. 

“She’s right,” Mia says from my side. It’s a Saturday so Mia and I went to Hogsmeade for lunch and as we were entering the castle on our way back, the Twins were running into the Great Hall like they were about to win a race. “You didn’t account for the age line.” The Twins turn to look at her eyebrows raised. 

“This right here, is an age line,” Mia says, pointing to the silvery blue boundary that encircles the Goblet.

"Dumbledore drew it himself!" Granger says, seeming very pleased that Mia agrees with her.

“I highly doubt Dumbledore’s magic can be fooled by a dodge as obvious as an aging potion," adds Mia.

“Ah! But that’s why it's so genius, Phe,” Fred says; I can tell it's Fred because he steps so close to Mia that I have to make an effort not to push him back. Fred is much more physically affectionate with Mia than George and while I trust Mia, I can’t help the jealousy that flairs in my chest for the guy that knows my girlfriend better than I may ever be able to. 

“Because it's so obvious that they would assume no one would try it!” George answers. 

“By all means, if it works then you can brag for the rest of the year about how genius you both are,” Mia laughs at her friends and the Twins high five, drink their potions, and turn to the Goblet, very slowly and carefully stepping over the age line, which bends against the legs but does let them pass. Mia bites her bottom lip as she watches it all happen and my mind wanders as I watch her for a moment, no longer interested in the Twins but rather focusing on my jumping her right here.

My focus is pulled from Mia’s lips as the Twins shout and fly over the crowd surrounding the Goblet and land hard on the floor. I follow my girlfriend as she pushes her way through the crowd frantically only to see Fred and George fighting on the floor as old men. Mia fails to stifle a laugh and I don’t even try not to bust out laughing as the Weasley Twins, in their new found old age, wrestle and yell at each other on the floor of the Great Hall. Eventually, Mia sighs and steps forward, lightly kicking their sides until they release each other. 

“Not to say I told you so but-” 

“Mia, you gotta help us fix it!” One of them begs, their voice cracking as they stand, rubbing their back as if it pains them. Well, they are elderly now I guess. 

“What? How is this my fault? I think you both look rather dashing,” Mia teases, clearly trying hard not to bust out laughing again. “I’ll walk with you to Pomphrey,” she adds before turning to me. “Met up after the feast?” 

“Sounds good, princess. Good luck with the grandads,” I press a small kiss to her forehead before she turns and shoves the elderly Twins forward, the three of them leaving with their laughter echoing in their wake. 

“Can’t believe you’re dating her,” Draco’s voice sneers from my side and I turn to face my cousin, his hair reflecting the blue flames coming out of the Goblet. 

“Bugger off, Draco,” I grumble, turning back to see Krum throw his name into the Goblet as well, all the girls in the room admiring him as he turns and leaves. 

“Father was surprised, of course, but sounds like your mother wasn’t. Although, he supposed it could be a very clever ruse. Breaking the heart of The Girl Who Lived, a small revenge for the death of a father,” Draco continues. Like a little brother, he has always loved winding me up, and unfortunately, I’m an easy man to anger. 

“You and your father need to keep your noses out of my life,” I snap, turning and shoving the smaller boy slightly, causing him to stumble back a step. “You leave the Potters alone.” 

“You can’t tell me what to do!” He cries indignantly but before I can respond, Ella appears by his side. 

“C’mon Dray, don’t lower yourself by fussing with blood traitors,” she coos cruelly, her dark eyes narrowed at me angrily. I clench my jaw at the insult but I don’t rise to their taunts. 

“Come off it, Elladora,” Enzo says, appearing at my side with his arms crossed. Theo appears on my other side and gratitude floods in me for my two best friends. Ella and Draco roll their eyes and sneer as they turn their backs and leave the Great Hall whispering intently. 

“Malfoy-Riddle holidays are gonna get super fun for you,” Theo comments, trying to break tension, and I grunt in acknowledgement. 

“Don’t worry about them, Matt,” Enzo says calmly. 

“Easy,” I respond simply. “You guys want a smoke?” I ask, wanting to escape to the Astronomy Tower and ignore the rest of the world. 

“Yeah, let’s go. Tired of this display anyway,” Theo nods and the three of us exit the Great Hall and make our way towards the tower. 

✦

“The time has come to select our Triwizard Tournament champions!” Dumbledore announces, stepping down from the teachers table towards the Goblet of Fire, his hand outstretched as he dims the torches around the Hall.

“Ah, here we go,” Evan mutters, turning in his seat so he can watch, leaning his back against the table. I catch Mia’s eye at the next table over and she smiles, scrunching her nose adorably before turning back around to watch the choosing ceremony. “Once the champions' names are called, please come up to the top of the Hall and proceed into the next chamber and await your instructions,” Dumbledore motions towards a door to the side of the teachers table.

The entirety of the hall waits in tense excitement as the Goblet of Fire begins shining more brightly, so bright it's almost painful to look too closely at it. Suddenly, the flames turn bright red and jump up to a height of a foot or so and a burned piece of parchment flutters down and Dumbledore catches it easily. “The Durmstrang champion is… Victor Krum!” 

Applause echoes through the halls for the Bulgarian Seeker as he stands and sweeps up towards the table and is congratulated by Karkaroff before he disappears through the door. 

“No surprise there,” Enzo mutters back to Theo and I as the flames just up again and spit out another paper. 

“The champion for Beauxbatons is… Fleur Delacour!” A lithe blonde girl stands from amongst the sea of blue silk uniforms, looking quite proud, and saunters up to Dumbledore before continuing in Krum’s path as the student body cheers, especially the boys. 

“Oh man,” Evan says as he leans back to watch Fleur as she walks, adding a low whistle to punctuate his sentence. Astoria reaches over the table and smacks Evan on the back of his head. The French girl is beautiful for certain, but it seems I am one of the only ones not fawning over her. 

Just as Fleur disappears, the goblet shoots the third and final paper. “The Hogwarts champion is Cedric Diggory!” The Slytherins around me groan, but Hufflepuff explodes in uproar as they cheer for their champion. 

“What a pretty boy,” Theo mutters but I’m focused on Mia as Diggory smiles and nods at Mia as he passes her, his eyes lingering longer than on anyone else he passes. I see George and Fred glaring at him and I’m glad someone else agrees that the newly appointed Hogwarts champion should stay far away from my girl. 

“That’s it!” Dumbledore yells, the students quieting down as Diggory slips through the door. “We now have our three champions, and I’m sure the rest of you will be very supportive.” The Headmaster falters in his speech as the Goblet begins sparking and the flames turn red and shoot out a fourth paper. 

Dumbledore, looking quite bewildered, reaches for the paper and squints at it. He murmurs a name but I’m sitting too far away to hear it but the students up front begin whispering rapidly and looking towards the Gryffindor table. 

“... Potter,” my blood runs cold at the last name, although I didn’t catch the first name I’m terrified for Mia. She never said she found a way to enter, she didn’t even seem like she wanted to. “HARRY POTTER!” Dumbledore roars louder, interrupting my thoughts and relief floods my chest, soon followed by guilt.

For a moment no one moves. My eyes find Mia a table over, seemingly frozen in time with wide eyes. She doesn’t move until Harry passes her on his way up to Dumbledore, and even I can tell Harry doesn’t understand what’s happening. At the sight of her brother, Mia moves suddenly, like her brain was struggling to process information but now that it has she jumps up from her seat. 

“Headmaster, it must be a mistake!” She calls and Harry looks back to his sister, the fear and confusion in her eyes mirrored in his near identical ones. Mia steps over her seat, trying to go after her brother, but one of the Weasley Twins, I can’t tell which from here, stands and pulls her back. She struggles against him as she watches her brother take the parchment from Dumbledore and walk dazed towards the door. Evan, Enzo, Theo and Astoria all look at me with varying degrees of confusion. 

“How did he get past the Age Line?” Evan whispers but I’m not listening. I don’t listen to Dumbledore as he dismisses us either because all I’m aware of is the terror on Mia’s face. Students begin standing around me and I push my way through the crowd to try and reach Mia. 

Mia doesn’t stay put though, she begins pushing her way towards Dumbledore, who is speaking to McGonagall next to the goblet. I’m a few steps behind Mia as she reaches the professors. 

“Headmaster! How is this possible? Harry didn’t enter, he couldn’t have!” She cries and I can hear the panic in her voice as I step up behind her, the Twins next to me now as well. 

“Miss Potter, please,” Dumbledore says placatingly but Mia forges ahead. 

“You can’t let him compete! He’s only sixteen!” 

“We will do everything we can to ensure-” 

“I’ll compete for him!” Mia interrupts again, and I share a glance with the Twins. “I’ll be 19 in a few months, please! You have to let me take his place, he’s not-

“Miss Potter!” Dumbledore snaps, halting Mia in her tracks. “Please, let us handle it and you can come speak to me about it tomorrow if you still wish,” and with that Dumbledore turns around and sweeps back towards the teacher’s table, followed by Karkaroff, Madam Maxine, and an entourage of Hogwarts teachers. 

“Professor, please, I’ll do anything if it means Harry doesn’t have to do this. There has to be a way,” Mia begs of McGonagall, whose face is grave. McGonagall reaches out and puts a hand on Mia’s shoulder. 

“I know you’re frightened, Miss Potter, but there is not much that can be done tonight. I will speak with the Headmaster and you and I can speak tomorrow. For now, just go on back to the common room, and be there for your brother,” McGonagall squeezes Mia’s shoulder and gives her a small, reassuring smile before turning and following after Dumbledore. 

Mia watches her go for a moment before turning back to me, Fred and George. Her beautiful green eyes are wide with fear and her bottom lip is trembling. 

“C’mon, Mia. Let’s go back to the common room, I’m sure Harry will be back up there soon,” Fred says calmly. The Great Hall is almost completely empty now save us and a few stragglers. 

Mia turns her eyes to me, “Will you com-” 

“Of course, Mia. C’mon,” I say, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and I lead her out of the Great Hall behind the Twins, the last people in the Hall eyeing Mia suspiciously. 

As we enter the Gryffindor Common Room, students shoot us looks, emotions ranging from suspicion to hatred. I mean, every time I’m anywhere near Gryffindor Tower I get plenty of wary stares and glares but I’ve never seen this reaction for Mia. Mia begins to follow Fred and George to the couches where the rest of her and Harry’s friends sit but she looks around for a moment at the rest of the room, her jaw ticking. 

“I have to go write to Remus and… I have to go write to Remus,” she says in the general direction of the circle of friends and then continues through the room, her head held high. I follow after her and find her frantically searching through the piles on her desk.

Something I’ve learned about Mia in the last two months, she’s kinda messy. I mean she’s brilliant and seems to have a system, but she’s also a little chaotic. Typically, every surface in her dorm room is littered with books and quills and parchment and the occasional dirty coffee cup. It doesn't help that her friends are in here all the time as well, I'm sure, but she doesn't seem to mind.

I close the door gently as Mia manages to find a quill and some clean parchment. She leans over her desk, perched on the very edge of her chair as she furiously scribbles out a letter. 

“Mia…” I say gently, placing my hands on her shoulders. 

“One sec,” she mutters, pushing one paper addressed to Remus Lupin, her godfather, away and switching to a second piece of parchment and starting a second letter. 

“Who’s Padfoot?” I ask curiously, having never heard the name before. 

“Nobody,” she mutters distantly and I sigh, backing up a few steps. I stand in the middle of the room, my mind running a hundred miles a minute at who the hell she’s writing to. I grit my teeth as I try to control my jealousy and worries. After another minute of the scratching of her quill she stands and moves to grab her cloak. 

“Woah, where are you going?” I ask, stepping in front of her. 

“Owlery, I have to send these,” she says, not looking at me. Once Mia gets her mind set on something, not much can stop her. 

“Mia, just stop for a second and think! It’s dark and Harry will probably be back any minute. You can send them tomorrow!” I say, still blocking her path. 

“Mattheo, stop! Let me go! They have to know! I need their help!” Mia yells as panic starts to overtake her again. 

“No! Mia, just take a breath!” 

“Get out of my way!” 

“No!” I yell, and put my hand out towards her, without thinking, and she flinches. “Oh fuck, Mia. Princess, I’m sorry. I’m not gonna hurt you, I promise,” I say, lowering my voice and my hand slowly. My heart breaks as I look at my girlfriend looking at me like a cornered animal. 

“No, I know. I’m sorry,” Mia says, dropping her gaze to the floor and shaking her head. I hesitantly take a few steps forward until I’m standing toe to toe with her and reach out, lifting her chin so she looks up at me. 

“Don’t apologize. What they did to you is not your fault and I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m just… worried about you,” I say earnestly, cupping her face as a tear spills over her eyelashes. “Shit, I’m so sorry,” I whisper, pulling her into a hug and, finally, she relents into my embrace, shaking as sobs wrack her body. “You’re safe, baby, no one’s gonna hurt you.” 

After a few minutes, Mia takes a deep breath and steps back, moving to sit on her bed and I follow, sitting next to her. “Padfoot is Harry’s godfather… Better known as Sirius Black,” Mia says quietly. 

“What?” I say, surprised and turn to look at Mia.

“I’m gonna explain, it's a long story though, so just hang on, okay?” Mia says, setting the letters down on her nightstand and leaning abc against the headboard. I nod and lean against one of the posts of her bed, watching her intently as she tells me the story of her second to last night of fifth year. How she and Harry found out that Sirius Black is innocent and the person who betrayed her parents was actually Peter Pettigrew, who had been hiding as the Weasley family rat. 

“We write to him as Padfoot in case the Ministry intercepts one, so… yeah,” Mia finishes with a sigh and I can’t help but laugh, a memory resurfacing suddenly. “What? I’m telling the truth!” 

“No, I believe you, I just… So at that party last year when I asked if you had anything to do with Sirius Black escaping, well I just never thought you actually had!” I laugh, and after a moment Mia laughs too. 

“Bloody hell, I forgot about that,” she laughs, but too soon the levity fades from her face, worry creeping back in. I move to lay next to her and pull her into my embrace. She lays her head over my chest and wraps her arms tightly around my waist as I do the same around her shoulder, holding her close to me. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” I whisper into her hair, rubbing circles on her arm. “We’ll figure it out.” I hold her like this until her breathing evens out and she slips down into her dreams.

✦

The first thing I notice when I wake, is Mia is nowhere to be found.

a/n; ayo new banner!! i was spending way too much time trying to find the perfect gifs so i decided to make a banner instead. the amount of time i spent on those stupid letters is kinda ridiculous

taglist; @purplegardenwhispers @somethingswiftandstyles @weasleyreidstyles @mayamonroem @girlbooklover555 @abaker74 @stxrsberkshire

[scribespirare]

If you're up for it, could you write where Miles and Miguel are secretly in a relationship except the spider gang are trying to set either or both of them up with someone else?

secret relationships my beloved <3<3<3

“So I met this girl-”

Miles groans loudly and shoots his next web, letting it swing his weight up into the next arc. “You better be about to tell me you asked her out.”

“No,” Gwen says, and Miles can tell by the sound of her voice that she’s grinning under her mask. “I think you’d really like her!”

Miles groans again and takes a sudden turn mid-air to try and throw his meddling friend off, if just for a moment. And a moment is all it takes for Gwen to catch up to him again, swinging perpendicular to him and laughing. “C’mon, Miles! You gotta get out there!”

She’d turned him down nearly six months ago when he’d asked her out, and he knows she’s felt guilty about it ever since. And yeah, he’d been pretty bummed immediately after. But all his moping had drawn the gruff concern of someone else, and he and Miles had suddenly started spending more time together and…well, Miles now knows he’s bisexual. So.

With a final exhilarating but unnecessary flip Miles lands atop the roof of an apartment building, pausing to catch his breath. Gwen lands next to him gracefully and flips her hood back. “I’ve got her number, you want it? I got her permission to give it to you.”

“You what!?”

“Yeah, I keep a picture of you on my phone and everything,” she says teasingly. “She thinks you’re cute.”

“Oh my god,” Miles mutters, and wishes he could cover his face up even more than it aready is. “Why are you doing this to me?”

Her expression softens, the humor falling away. “I just want you to be happy, Miles.”

“I am!” he protests. And he’s not lying. Now that he’s able to see his friends regularly he’s not lonely anymore, or feeling burdened by the weight of being Spider-Man. That weight is shared across hundreds of other shoulders now.

And when he does have a random pang of loneliness? When he has a bad day or fights with his parents or even just doesn’t feel good for no reason at all? He has a place to go. A place with open, waiting arms that envelop him so completely he feels like the rest of the world couldn’t possibly exist beyond the boundaries of that embrace.

But Gwen doesn’t know that.

And neither do Hobie, Pavitr, Peter, or any of the rest.

Pavitr and Gwen are the worst about trying to set Miles up with others. Hobie will throw out the occasional offer but usually he stands up for Miles when the others get kind of pushy. Something about relationship anarchy and how Miles should be allowed to decide how he wants to handle his romances or lack thereof. Honestly, that is a different kind of annoying though. Because Miles does have a romantic relationship and it might just be a plain monogamous one in contrast to Hobie’s confusing poly web of flings and partners, but it still exists. Miles just…can’t talk about it. And Gwen’s meddling has now convinced the group that Miles is sad and pathetic and alone.

“I am,” Miles tells Gwen again. “I promise, I’m happy. Please stop trying to set me up with people?”

Gwen looks at him for a long, stretched out moment. “I’m not trying to set you up just to-”

“Please?” Miles cuts in.

That earns him a sigh and then an eye roll. “Fine. I’ll stop." He breathes a sigh of relief, but then- "Peter’s been working on Miguel anyways, I’ll just help him out.”

Miles feels the blood rush drain from his face. “Peter’s trying to date Miguel!?” he squeaks.

Gwen mistakes his panic for horror, which it kind of is but not in the way she thinks, and laughs. “No, he’s trying to talk Miguel into getting back out there. So far Miguel isn’t budging. I don’t really hangout in places where I can meet older women but maybe I can annoy him into looking for himself. Do you know if he likes guys as well?”

Fuck, out of the fire and into the frying pan.

[the1975attheirverybest]

A/N: I AM ABSOLUTELY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING RN but this fandom and this blog are in desperate need of a refresh so here’s something short and sweet. I SWEAR THIS WAS A REQUEST BUT I COULDNT FIND THE ORIGINAL ASK ANYWHERE. Anyway here it is. Sorry if I missed some of the details.

Warnings: none.

——

“Hey, I’ve got the keys, I’ll wait in the car, yeah?” Matty peeked his head into the bathroom where his wife and kid had reached a dead-end in their negotiations. “You guys aren’t dressed yet?” He frowned.

His wife shot him a look “can I…umm, talk to you for a second?” She placed a hand over Matty’s arm tapping it and gesturing for him to follow her into the bedroom.

“What’s going on?” He asked, softly, when they were alone.

“Your daughter….she doesn’t want to go to the hairdresser’s.”

Matty smiled, relieved that it wasn’t anything serious.

“I’ve tried to reason with her, encourage her, tell her that we’d be there with her the whole time, but it’s a firm ‘no.’”

He giggled, knowing his daughter’s stubbornness. “Why not, though?”

“She says she doesn’t want a stranger touching her head, her hair, her neck. Says it’s weird.”

“She’s not wrong” Matty burst into laughter, causing his wife to roll her eyes. “What? You don’t find hair appointments kind of uncomfortable? You’ve gotta make polite chit-chat while they reposition your head in all sorts of directions. The forced intimacy of someone literally running their hands through your hair…you gotta admit, it’s kind of weird.”

“So it’s two against one, then?” His wife shrugged. “I’m outnumbered.”

“Hold on a minute. I didn’t say that! Let me try.”

“Please…be my guest.”

Matty made his way into the bathroom, where his fierce little girl had her arms folded over her chest, clearly maintaining her unflinching resolve.

Matty crouched so he was at the same level as her and gave her a quick kiss. “Hey, baby? Listen, if you do this really brave thing for me and get your hair done, we can go get ice cream after. You get to pick out two flavors.”

“So, THATS your strategy?” His wife, who’d been watching from the doorway, interrupted.

“Well, yours didn’t work, so…” he turned back to his daughter “what do you say? Hmm?”

He watched her hesitate for a moment, the gears turning in her head as she considered his offer. “No.” She blurted out.

Matty sighed loudly, his shoulder slumping. “Look, my love, I know it’s really weird, but it’s just something we all have to do. Even grownups do it. Mommy and daddy get their hair cut all the time. It’s just one of those things we have to do.”

“Why do we have to?” She inquired, taking Matty by surprise.

“Uhhh….” He tried to formulate a response to her difficult question. “I know it’s counterintuitive, but, in order for your hair to grow, you gotta cut it sometimes.”

His little baby’s face scrunched in confusion as she attempted to process his logic.

“Counterintuitive? Really?” His wife whispered from behind them.

“I don’t know- she’s really advanced for her age- and- mind your own business! So…shall we go get dressed?”

“No.” That monosyllabic answer hit him again. Matty swore he was looking right at a version of himself.

He sat down on the floor, looking up at the fluorescent bathroom lights and breathing deeply to control his tone and his frustration.

“Here’s an idea!” He called out suddenly, looking back at her. “What if I do it?”

His wife, fearing the consequences of this idea, shot him a stern look, “do what, Matty?”

“Cut her hair! I mean, if the problem is that she doesn’t want her hair touched by a stranger, and we’ve taught her to set boundaries, I’m not gonna just haul her over my shoulder and force her into the hairdresser’s chair! and…well, I do her hair all the time! she loves it! So, i mean, I could do it…”

“Matthew!” He knew that when she used his full name, he was in trouble, but he was desperate for ideas.

“It’s only a few inches of hair, how hard could it be?” He shrugged. “Look, she’s a kid. If it looks a bit crooked it’ll be cute and whimsical. What do you say, my dear?”

“Hmmmm….” His daughter scratched her head, pretending to think for a moment as Matty’s eyes watched her anxiously awaiting the verdict. “Maybe.”

“Oh god…” his wife mumbled, pacing around the bathroom.

“Hey, be patient. It’s not a no. That’s something.” Matty gave her a soft smile, turning back to face his reluctant client. “How can daddy get you to let him cut your hair? What should I do to make you say yes?”

“You can….ummm” she took a second to think, then a smile lit up her face with realization. “You can let me cut your hair, too!”

Matty’s head fell backwards as he chuckled loudly. Clearly proud of his daughter’s bargain.

“Alright, bestie. You got it!” He put his hand up asking her for a high five, and she reciprocated strongly. “Let’s do this thing, huh?”

“Okay!” She beamed with joy.

“Are you insane?” His wife whispered in his ear as he passed her by on the way out of the bathroom.

“Some kids just like to see how things work. Makes them more comfortable when they know what to expect.”

She smiled at her husband “when did you get so wise?”

“What can I say? Fatherhood has changed me.” He winked.

———

“Alright, my love. My head is your canvas. Do your worst.” He set down some scissors and the clipper in front of her. “Oh, but, maybe let mommy show you how to use the scissors first? Don’t wanna cut yourself, okay?”

She giggled loudly and stomped her tiny feet with glee as she made her first cut.

Matty had to fight the urge to move around to see the look on her face. “You havin’ fun?” He asked without moving his head.

“Yes! Loads!”

A few more awkwardly positioned snips of hair later, she’d gained enough confidence to pick up the clippers.

“Mommy, mommy. What’s this do?”

Matty saw his wife’s eyes in the mirror and he knew what she was asking

“Yeah, let her have at it.” He smiled into the mirror.

“But your beautiful curls…” she winced.

“They’ll grow back.”

His wife sighed, giving into his madness, “okay, hun. Let me show you but you gotta be careful and let mommy hold it over your hand, okay?”

[willowser]

not to make love island kirishima into Bummer island, but !! finally getting the courage to sit him down and lay it all out — the gnawing insecurity, the guilt you’ve been harboring because of it. loving how big his heart is, but wishing he’d save more of it just for you )):

and… my boy has a full head-in-hands moment because !!! he feels awful, but he’s mostly just shocked ??  it hadn’t even occurred to him that you’d feel jealous or threatened. because from his perspective, all the other islanders are either flirting for the fun of it or are just trying to be friendly. and you’d just kinda balk at him bc ???? surely he can see that everyone and their mother wants him??  but all he does is shrug noncommittally because — deep down, he doesn’t think he’s all that desirable. at least, not in any meaningful way. he’s just some guy?? a former dumb jock!! that’s it!! 

this is the first time you’ve ever seen him look sad or unsure of himself !! as he admits that he never thought someone would care deeply enough about him that they would ever feel scared of losing him.  kiri has two big revelations that day: he had been hurting you. you thought he was worth hurting for. 🥺🥺

(ok now i gotta lighten the mood real quick !!! i’m imagining after this talk he starts to get better about setting boundaries and letting people down gently but it’s so Embarrassing sometimes bc a newcomer will be like, “you’re so big! i bet you give the best cuddles” 😏😏 and he’s just like 😁 “you’ll have to ask my girl!”  he’s doing his best ok ☠️☠️ )

JORDAN you always come into my inbox and BREAK MY HEART AKHFAKHFAKAF your additions are always so moving and emotional and well-written and you're so big brained ????? THIS IS SO PERFECT AFAHGKAH i...don't even have anything to add because you've said it perfectly 🥺🥺🥺 this is exactly how i imagine it, as well !!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 WAAAAAH kissing you !!!!

[darth-sonny]

Imagine Leo sneaking out alot after all this, because of many reasons really:

The coddling will eventually get a little too much, everyone needs their privacy. Yes even traumatize bitches who needs help.

I feel like Leo might feel a slight bit paranoia near his family or at least drift a bit from his family, i mean he was trapped in that dreamscape believing his "family" was his real family, bro needs to have distance to properly heal. And having all eyes on you at all time.. gotta feeling of deja vu (yes i'm talking about his Prime possession)

A new scenery or a few new faces could be some help for him, seeing the same people over and over and over again.. not that good for mental health (being in the same place with the same people watching you could make days blur together, sometimes dissociate but thats rarely)

So what i'm hoping happens is:

Leo sneaks out one time for only a bit(still has a tracker) -> Meets idk some Yokai -> The guy deactivates his tracker -cameras/whatever donnie puts on him- with magic/mystic -> have a great time also frends :3 -> Manage to get home without being caught -> rinse and repeat -> one of his fam went to check on em (Donnie) -> Family panics -> Someone almost had a panic attack at some point -> Leo got home -> Family hug/cuddle (really it was choking Leo tbh) -> Leo sets up boundaries -> Fam goes Aight bro 👍-> Profit a.k.a Happy ending

As you can see, this AU is stuck in my head. You have infected many people dear author.

P.S The fam tries to track down Leo's friends and murder them before going "ok maybe not murder but lets scare them a bit" and then someone (donnie) proceeded to throw a fucking bolder at one of them.

YES!!! YES EXACTLY THIS!!!! YES!!!

yeah, post Prime everyone's relationship with Leo is very reminiscent of that of a chronically ill person and their family. I read somewhere that someone with an illness has a harder time connecting with their family members since they know pretty much everything about them, and why it's so important for them to make friends to give them some sense of normalcy

that's pretty much Leo with the fam. he loves that they're trying to show how much they care, but it does become overbearing a week and a half in. he hasn't had any real privacy or a genuine moment to himself in what? almost a year? so he'd like some right now at this very moment, thank you very much

funny how you mentioned Leo meeting and befriending a yōkai that gives him some sense of freedom bc that's exactly what's going to happen lol (bonus points if anyone can guess who that yōkai is)

also, I'm pretty sure that the new friend wouldn't be really all that intimidated by the fam. they've heard stories from Leo how they're very overprotective after everything (he’s obviously didn't tell them what really happened. Leo deserves the choice to tell people about his trauma. now that he has it. plus there's another reason why Leo didn't tell his new friend but that's for later so shhhh) so they understand what the fam is doing

they're still gonna tease the fame about it though (especially leo)

[tobiasdrake]

Rating DR2 Characters on the Bestie Scale

Alright, I've been meaning to come back to this. I did one of these for DR1 characters and now it's time for DR2. Let's rank DR2 characters from most bestie to least bestie.

Nagito Komaeda We would not set out to become friends with Nagito but circumstances would conspire to continuously bring us together until before we know it, he practically lives here. Wouldn't be the first time.

Nekomaru Nidai He's ultra-positive and endlessly supportive, and just wants to help you achieve your full potential. What's not to love?

Sonia Nevermind Sonia comes over regularly for movie nights and anime binges. We try to get her interested in video games too. She's a horror buff and we each have different tastes in horror so that works out interestingly. Roommate definitely calls dibs and makes her watch Madoka before anything else.

Gundham Tanaka This human is ours now. You can't have him back. Gundham is charming, lovable, inoffensive, and delightful. And he comes with cuddly critters who are awesome and badass but no less adorable for it. What's not to love? Our team extrovert will kidnap this introvert, mark my words.

Chiaki Nanami This is a house of gamers who need therapy. Chiaki is a therapybot modeled after a pro gamer. You do the math.

Ibuki Mioda Ibuki would be a more than welcome presence here, especially since my roommate craves friends to talk music with. Her high energy and positivity would be welcome to have around here. She has issues with boundaries, but we have an open-door policy for friends so I don't see it being a problem.

Akane Owari It's impossible to not get along with Akane. She doesn't bring a lot to the table socially but her interests sure are convenient. She likes good food and good fighting. In my household, we have both; My roommate's a chef and my other roommate's a viking, so that works out great! We would probably ask Akane to help pitch in for the groceries if she's going to be eating over here.

Mikan Tsumiki Mikan is very nice and she's inoffensive. She needs a place to heal, and I think this house could be that for her. But it'd be a slow process to get her to open up to us. Mikan deserves besties to support her, and over time, I think she could become a very good friend.

Ultimate Imposter Imposter is polite and inoffensive, but a lot is going to depend on the mask they're wearing. It would be an uphill battle to get them to lower their walls, and it's likely that it may never happen at all. But if it does, we'll have found a friend for life.

Hajime Hinata Hajime's difficult to get a read on. He's reserved and keeps a lot of his thoughts to himself, but he can be a bit of a jerk. He means well, though; He's just a bit cynical. Like Makoto, I feel like his attention would be too split to really hang out much. I could more easily envision a pleasant acquaintanceship with Hajime than a true friendship.

Mahiru Koizumi We're definitely in "friend of a friend" territory here. I know people who would get along with Mahiru, but I don't think her gender-traditionalism is a good fit for my household.

Kazuichi Soda Similarly, I don't think I'd get along well with Kazuichi for lack of any shared interests, but my roommate might. They love to talk shop about cars and bikes and stuff, and hitting on women, so they could hit it off. But a lot's going to depend on whether or not Kaz is going to be shitty about an AFAB mechanic and I gotta be honest, I don't get a gender-progressive vibe from this man.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu / Peko Pekoyama Fuyuhiko's a pretty nice guy once you can get past his initial prickliness, but that prickliness is going to be a problem. The Jabberwock crew had to kill his emotional support bestie in order to get him to let down his guard. I'm not confident we'd be up to the task.

Peko, meanwhile, doesn't have friends. She's a gift-with-purchase alongside Fuyuhiko.

Hiyoko Saionji There's no polite way to say this. Hiyoko is an asshole. She's got some layers to her and her background explains how she came to be this way. But she's nonetheless constantly rude and cruel to the people around her. She would likely get physically thrown out of this house after saying some shit to my bruh's wife and that would be the end of it.

Teruteru Hanamura This man is a sex pest.

[thedreadvampy]

I'm just like. I'm super tired but I'm awake and thinking fuck man. I just never learnt to end things.

like I have only ever broken up with someone once and he threw me into a fucking wall and called everyone I knew and said he was going to kill himself and it was my fault. and that was when I was 18 and I haven't broken up with anyone since. even when my fucking girlfriend's housemate raped me and she just kept on going as if nothing happened and wiped it from her memory to the degree she was regularly telling me what a great safe lovely guy he was I still like. kept dating her for 2 more years with my heart fucking crushed. in the end she had to dump me for things to end.

and I feel like there's a throughline with that to like. how I never block people online. or delete posts.

like it's a particular kind of cowardice for sure. but making the decision to break off any potential for things to get better just doesn't feel like an option. like I just sit around and wait for things to get better which obviously they DON'T because not every possible relationship has the potential or impetus for reconciliation. until people who are attacking me give up and wander off and people who I'm close to get tired of me being a one way street.

but it's also just like this fucking. existential horror that cross up when I try to make decisions based on my own discomfort. that I'm being unfair or unreasonable. like that I'm asking too much or being too stubborn or selfish or understanding too little. like it needs to be someone else's decision to Not Talk To Me because I'm not trustworthy I'm not capable. of reason. if I got what I wanted if I listened to my own feelings I would suck people dry I would be monstrous. if I blocked people or stopped making time for people or whatever I would. be acting on this like. destructively selfish belief that I matter more than other people. which I can't live with.

but like the impact of that is I can't insist on mattering at all even to myself. like it's a nice to have, mattering, but you can't insist on it. you can't demand it. that would be Unreasonable.

and so like I can talk a big game about communication and boundaries and growth and healing but ultimately I am still. only allowing my feelings to matter to myself to the degree it's convenient for everyone else. I'm still avoiding demanding space or boundaries or care or change unless a) it's on someone else's behalf or b) I've gone around and around checking. that there's space for it. that nothing else important is happening and that I'm not going to be anyone's last straw.

and I'm just So Fucking Tired of being like this like it's not good for me and it's also not good for anyone who actually wants to have any kind of relationship or conversation or anything with me. cause it's not fair on other people to constantly wait for them to take on the burden of setting boundaries or deciding when things should change. like it's fucking cowardice on my part and it's way more selfish than just Managing My Boundaries

but it just

Doesn't Feel Like An Option. to put a hard line anywhere. I will talk about how I'm feeling until the cows come home and I might even be honest but I CAN'T. let go of the idea that if I just communicate clearer and give more ground and keep balancing. something better is possible.

and like yeah sometimes there's gotta be some give and take and it takes work and compromise to get somewhere good. but also some things are just finished, or non-starters, or aren't even things you particularly care about or people you'd particularly want in your life. some stuff is untenable. some stuff needs to change. some stuff was good but will get worse the longer you wait.

and I know all that. and it feels fucking stupid. and irrational. I have bent over backwards to keep people in my life who I don't even like! a whole bunch of times actually!!! that's how I spent most of my early 20s!!!!

and I genuinely thought that cutting contact with my dad might mark a change in me. like hello this is new Ruth, the Ruth with boundaries. the Ruth that recognises if every time you think about someone in your life you get this hollow ache inside and want to cry and scream all at once it probably means neither of you are getting much good out of that relationship.

but still

it feels

unthinkable

to imagine that I could make the choice to take myself out of someone's life. instead of waiting for them to make the decision for me.

it's just fucking avoidance is the thing. like it's genuinely cowardice. it's like not going to the doctor. it's hard to bite the bullet and make a decision. it's easy to just cling on in the blind faith that on a long enough timescale there'll be space for me to exist on my own terms for a bit, and to matter, and I'll be understood, and yeah on a long enough timescale there'll be some kind of balance. if I just wait and keep waiting and don't admit any need or pain about it except when I HAVE to.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

Alright can we talk about the odd parallel-contrasts set up in this season so far when it comes to Beau and the ladies?

3x01:

Beau: "Is it weird for you that I'm friends with Cassie?"

Jenny: "Are you really friends or...?"

Beau: "Yes. Yes! Yes, we're just friends. Look, You know, we bonded over the last couple of months."

...

3x03:

Jenny: "Do you ever talk about your daughter with Cassie?"

Beau:

"Okay, I see where this is going. Let's just keep it professional, Hoyt. For now. And uh, you know, focus on the job."

Jenny: "Finally found a way to shut you up."

Beau: "Okay, no, no, no. It's not that I don't want to talk about it."

Jenny: "Uh huh."

Beau: "It's just that, you know, guys, we gotta have boundaries."

Jenny: "Uh huh. Yep. Yeah. Boundaries. Keep digging."

The funniest part of this whole scene to me is that Jenny knows Beau has talked to Cassie about Emily due to their 3x01 convo, Jenny was there for movie night when he talked to them both about Emily (as well as the 3x02 ranch scene), and Jenny mentions him possibly going back to Houston before she asks this. Either to take the opportunity to deflect (because she's still in denial to herself at this point as we see later from the line "he's not that cute") or because we're meant to notice the connection between Cassie and Emily. Not to mention, Beau had no problem before explaining to Jenny how he and Cassie are just friends. Why would he clam up suddenly about discussing the subject of his daughter with said friend?

And then:

2x18:

Beau: "I followed her up here. Her and my daughter."

Jenny: "And what's this guy's name? The tech--"

Beau: "Avery."

Jenny: "And let me guess, you're still in love with her."

Beau: "You're good. But hey, if your plan is to get me to puddle up over her, that ain't gonna happen. Alright? Let's focus on the job here and make sure it don't go sideways."

...

3x04:

Jenny: "Interesting."

Beau: "What?"

Jenny: "You're still in love with her."

Beau: "No, I'm not."

Jenny: "Yes, you are."

Beau: "No. Stop it."

Jenny: "You are. Just admit it."

(next shot: bleeding heart that Buck is looking at & it becomes clear that his relationship with Sunny isn't all it's cracked up to be)

This is even more interesting because Beau had no problem letting Jenny imply this same thing back in 2x18 and he all but confirmed it with "you're good" (the same thing he said to Cassie in their scene in that episode where Cassie was indeed right on the money). But now he's in full denial and doesn't want Jenny pushing the issue. He even uses a similar deflection tactic by insisting that he and Jenny focus on the job at hand.

So I'm thinking that Beau is still in love with Carla (that's the most we've seen him affected in his interactions with all three ladies), but he's in denial for some apparent reason (maybe to spare himself the pain so he can focus on his job and Emily?) and the show is intent on having the whole "slow burn" play out (for ratings and something else). I'm sure we'll know more after this next episode and we'll find out what happened to their relationship, but I do think it's interesting that they're playing up Jenny's feelings for Beau despite being aware of this fact.

In nearly every scene we've had with Beau and Jenny so far, unless she's focused on the job or Cassie/Gigi, she's always focused on Beau. They're bringing those feelings to the forefront, especially from the end of 3x04 to now. So I do wonder if Beau goes with Carla and Emily in the end (since we've been shown how shady Avery is & how there are "secrets and lies" in that relationship like all the others at the campground plus Carla was also affected in that interaction with Beau in 3x04) then how that will play out for Jenny. And I do wonder what would be the point for Jenny's character to develop these feelings for him if that's the game plan?

Because while Sunny and Buck aren't making the best decisions (and that's putting it lightly), they are in agreement that Cormac comes first. And if that sequence of shots above is meant to showcase any type of parallel or similarity between the two relationships as well as possibly Carla's and Avery's (especially since like Avery we see that Buck is pretty shady himself, the whole creepy sniffing blood thing), then that doesn't seem the best thing for Emily or even a better second round in the making for the two. Unless there's something they're still keeping hidden that would help with the whole situation.

If Jenny is to become Sheriff (which is where I think her story is headed & Beau is meant to help her get there; he is Sheriff & he does throw his weight around at times when needed, but ultimately Jenny has been taking the lead in their cases recently & she was the one to offer Cassie space in their department), then that means Beau won't be around to be Sheriff. So that's why I'm thinking there must be some reconciliation coming between Beau and Carla and a reason for Beau to move out of Lewis & Clark County. He could possibly retire again but I don't see him or both he & Carla sticking around Helena, especially if Jenny's feelings are finally made known.

So that makes me wonder why Cassie's involvement in the 3x01 and 3x03 conversations, eerily paralleling the same way Carla was brought into the conversation with eerily similar results. Is it all about Jenny? Which imho doesn't make sense other than her trying to suss out what the deal is for both ladies in relation to her growing feelings.

If Beau is in love with Carla, then why the shutdown about Cassie? It's not about Emily. He had no problem opening up about her before (as confirmed by 3x01 and 3x02). So what is the reason? And why the Cassie and Carla connection?

So basically, me this week:

'Why the connection? Why?'

[xhatake]

🌟 What is my muse’s sexual/romantic orientation? 💯 What is my muse’s ideal date?🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch?

🌟 What is my muse’s sexual/romantic orientation?

kakashi is bisexual/biromantic but has always had an inclination towards men! It's something he's always struggled to understand. Understanding orientation has been a very strange think for him; he's always felt he has to like men or like women. not even counting anyone who lays in between those definition. it's not until his late 20's that he understands that's not the case --- he can like any gender to any degree. i think when he becomes more comfortable with his gender identity/expressing it he comes to the same conclusion about his orientation.

💯 What is my muse’s ideal date

kakashi's ideal date would probably either be a night in or a picnic outside of konoha. If it were to be a night in he would likely prefer to stay at his house, he's generally more comfortable there. he would want to cook some sort of meal revolving around his s/o's favorite food. Kakashi is definitely the sort of guy that would go over the top as well. I'm talking candlelight, roses, he scoots the chair out for his date, etc. A lot of his ideas of romance come from the media he's consumed & so he would probably be very stereotypical. He would want to spend the rest of the night catching up, reading with them, playing games, maybe getting frisky & just generally getting a little bit of one on one time with them.

alternatively, he would love to go on a picnic. i have a headcanon that he buys a lot of bento boxes. he see's one with a neat design? he's gotta have it. He uses them largely to bring meals from himself & his team when they're training but really jumps at any other chance he may have to use them. He would probably have already bought one that reminded him of the other person & would probably jam it full of food ( maybe with a bottle of liquor --- sake makes him sleepy so maybe gin? ) The two of them would find a spot uphill of a stream so they wouldn't be bothered by the bugs but could still enjoy the sound of rushing water. They eat, they laugh, they spend time with each other. maybe they even dip their toes in a stream & feel all the weight of the world wash away with the water

either way he's most interested in just spending time with his love interest in a quiet, secluded setting. he goes a little over the top with the stereotypical romantic aspects because he feels like he has to compensate for being hard to read? plus it just makes him happy.

🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch?

Kakashi is a big switch. If we're talking about casual sex with someone he doesn't know that well, he's more apt to be dominant. He doesn't like the vulnerability of submitting to someone he doesn't necessarily trust? He's prone to one-night stands because he doesn't really know how to get emotional or how to bring emotions into the picture. It leaves him feeling defensive when someone is a one & go. when it comes to friends with benefits he's a little more apt to gt experimental.

When he finds a more consistent partner he's more eager to adapt to their needs. Kakashi likes to get experimental, he likes to talk to his partner about what they want so he has an understanding of what to do?? He does tend to feed a more submissive streak when he's with someone he trusts. This stems from the fact that he very rarely is with someone he feels he can be that way with, if that makes sense? He likes the intimacy of trusting someone enough to follow their lead.

also, if we're talking specifically about kink he is still a switch but he likes to discuss anything he's going to or be do in-depth with his partner beforehand. Whether he's the sub or the dom for the night, he likes to know where they're going; partaking in kink without having express lines & boundaries drawn makes him feel physically ill. I think he used to be very chaotic in his hookups & he was experimental in ways that weren't always safe. He didn't understand the depth of kink but he was interested in it & met a couple of bad doms along the way that left him with the aforementioned defensiveness.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hello! a long while back I sent in an ask about my brother being abusive and that the situation was being handled and thoughg I'd update and vent:

tw for drugs, abuse, verbal abuse, suicide, ed

I didnt speak to him for four months because I was honestly just over it. Over him and his excuses and I mean there was no hate there I just was done. Then he randomly got so drunk he got alcohol poisoning and my mom kind of went "he loves you so much it breaks my heart you guys arent talking". And I'll admit I let it get to me but at the same time he put himself in that position with me. I have a right to set my boundaries.

Anyway over last month we made up and have been talking again but after he again got really nasty with me we actually sat down and talked about it. I told him hey when you speak to me like that, it makes me feel like utter shit. For a long time it really messed me up and I'm pretty disappointed that after four months of not talking to you because you treated me like that, that you go and do the same thing just when we were getting to be normal again.

He apologized and was pretty hard on himself; he admitted that hes just so angry all the time and he hates himself - that after the first fight which led us to not talk that he fucked his arm up as punishment. Just listed all the negatives and horrible things about himself and his situation etc. And while I do have empathy for him, I just told him that it's his responsibility to work on his behavior and mental health. He didn't ask to get fucked for life but it's his responsibility and just because he's going through something it doesn't mean he can treat me badly. I went into slight detail about how throughout this year I've tried to kill myself three times, relapsed in my ED, have relived traumatic events, etc. But through all that I was kind albeit stressed with my younger siblings.

I know he isn't me and that I can't compare but I said it as a way to say "I see you and understand but you've gotta step up man" because for years it's been shit plus shit and more shit. I said maybe he'd benefit from talking to someone- he has the money to afford the sessions and the time so he shoukd think about it. And he said he will.

Come three weeks later he's still getting high off his ass, drinking, and even though hes really skinny already he bought diet pills. He's been an addict in the past with drugs and I'm kind of ticked that my parents aren't seeing it. Literally he got home with the pills and my dad says "Mijo, you gotta be careful with those things. Have you seen yourself in pictures? Maybe you should" and I know that's meant to be like "dude you're skinny already" but this needs more than a 'be careful' because last time that happened it was me who cleaned up his cuts and had to see him be sent off to the psych ward. Not only that but his behavior triggers me constantly and I'm now starting to detach from him. Its not like we talked much before anyway but I mean now with the diet pills and everything I just can't be around him.

I love him but I just, I dont care anymore. In the past I use to be angry; when he went to the psych ward my family was all over it - my grandparents would have him over and drove him around and talk with him, my dad started researching about OCD and Depression to be able to help him, my mom was there everytime he had a panic attack at night and let him sleep in their bed, and he was receiving real treatment by a therapist and psychiatrist.

But still he just seemed unappreciative of it, he couldn't not see past how shitty his life/he was and I get it you know I'm not saying "grow up you're sucha whiner" but, I dont know.

And after seeing him be so cared for and getting help I decided to tell my parents I think I have depression and, nothing ever came of that. They said "okay", gave me a hug, and that was it. There was no research for me, no time with grandma and grandpa, no therapist. Him and I are only a year apart. It took me two years to go to a therapist myself and realize "hey um you're a little more than depressed" and still, my family doesn't cater to it. It's all him.

Your brother cant sleep through the night? Okay let's remove his door (which is the only thing separating our rooms).

Your brother is having trouble with addiction? Okay let's do mom and dad dates with him and make sure he's catered to.

Your brother is too depressed to get up? Okay you're gonna cover his chores on top of yours from now on.

Your brother is bringing diet pills into the house even though it's very obvious you struggle with eating/have been the same weight since middle school? Just give him a slap on the wrist and let it go.

Hi anon,

Unfortunately it can be challenging for many people to choose to seek help. It's often easier to fall back on unhealthy coping mechanisms than actively work towards self-improvement. It's easy to say you'll commit to therapy and simply not follow through. It's ultimately up to your brother to choose recovery when he's ready, even if everyone around him is impatient. He cannot be forced to do work he isn't prepared for yet, you know?

That being said, just because your brother is going through a lot and potentially numbing you and your family, you still deserve the care you need. It may help to ask for specific accommodations such as therapy or whatever else you may need. You do not deserve to feel invisible in this chaos, especially with issues that have been persistent even before your brother's.

You deserve to take up space, and you deserve to be heard.

I hope you're doing alright. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[sparrowsabre7]

I posted 761 times in 2022

137 posts created (18%)

624 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@unseeliefaerie

@gotta-have-faye

@cryptobotanical

@tokidokifish

@gffa

I tagged 486 of my posts in 2022

Only 36% of my posts had no tags

#star wars - 92 posts

#films - 60 posts

#tv - 45 posts

#games - 38 posts

#memes - 21 posts

#puns - 21 posts

#art - 19 posts

#obi wan kenobi - 17 posts

#tiktok - 16 posts

#books - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#but also i have bought at least 10 whole games over the past 3 years thanks to microsoft rewards and all i do is a little search every day

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I've seen a few comments that Mon Mothma's plotline doesn't seem to be progressing very far and she does not seem to have achieved anything whilst other characters have.

I believe that stagnation is the point. Of the three main threads, Cassian is actively working against the system from the outside, Luthen is playing on both sides, and Mon Mothma is trying to work within the system to bring the Empire down/champion rebel causes. We see both Cassian and Luthen achieve success to varying degrees, largely due to willingness to compromise and sacrifice.

Thus far Mon Mothma has been unwilling to do so and thus her attempts to progress have been stymied. I suspect in the final two episodes we will see her come to the inevitable realisation that it is not possible to bring down a broken and a corrupt system by working within its boundaries. A price must be paid.

52 notes - Posted November 13, 2022

#4

Can't wait to see Jodie Whittaker follow David Tennant and Matt Smith's post-Doctor Who career and head into her creepy pervert/serial killer phase.

57 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

#3

"House of the Dragon" has actually been pretty good but guys, we need to talk about Aemond.

Just fucking look at him. Look at this anime villain, Sephiroth-looking motherfucker. This dude is a fucking cartoon it's amazing. I cannot picture this guy doing anything but sitting in a castle smugly drinking wine whilst his enemies are tortured in his dungeons. I don't believe this actor is even wearing a wig, he just showed up to set one day, cheekbones designed by Tetsuya Nomura himself and the directors said "we gotta get this weirdo on our show."

81 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#2

I know Tumblr has largely become anti-MCU because Disney bad, Marvel bad, corporations churning out cookie cutter movies bad etc etc but please, PLEASE watch Ms. Marvel.

I say this as a 30-something cishet white man who has no real reference point for its authenticity but it is just such a wonderful family story. It's a rare comic book property where not only do the powers take a backseat to the civilian lives of the characters, but it is better for it. Yes, they diverge from Kamala's Inhuman origins in the comics but they trade it in for something imo much more personal. It touches on how damaging partition was and the generational trauma it left behind as well as the experiences of modern Muslims living in America.

Even besides that it just feels so fresh and entertaining and has a great cast of characters and the first few episodes exude Edgar Wright/Scott Pilgrim energy in the best way.

It's a great show and deserves your time.

126 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Dad joke moment of the day:

Colleague: "Just going to pop out for a haircut, shouldn't be too long."

Me: "I would hope not after a cut."

198 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

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