#my hyperfixations take over everything

[hinamie]

summer is coming so i'm giving them the beach day they deserve

[frecklystars]

i have felt absolutely nothing for any of my F/Os lately and idk if coming back online will help. ive been offline since April just queueing literally everything and occasionally coming online if i need to vent and then deleting it and going offline again. my situation really drained me of all of my energy, constantly feeling unsafe and unable to self ship really hurt me. feeling unsafe both irl and with my F/Os really hurts me and i cannot emphasize how damaging it is to feel so unsafe all the time so consistently for 2 years. but im trying so hard to figure out how to bounce back bc my depression is so severe if im not self shipping. so. what do i do here

idk how to uh, reignite a hyperfixation that's 99% gone. genuinely, what do you do if youre autistic and your special interest of one year is fading out? i dont want to replace it with something else + im so depressed i cannot replace it with something else if i tried. i just wanna feel better with my ryan F/Os again even if it's just a little bit. just enough to keep me going

what do i even do? stream a movie night? take ryan character drawing requests/commissions? roleplay with friends who have offered to make F/O accounts interact with this blog? uhhh... man i dont know. ive watched all of ryan's movies except his older ones, and those aren't going to reignite my hyperfixation since i don't have any new characters to self ship with there

its 6am im just rambling into the void and i havent slept. i just wanted to vent 😭 ill delete this later

[gayalanwake]

sorry if I become extra annoying im kinda tweaking over being on my own for the first time sooooo I might let myself become extra indulgent 💔💔💔

[nakaharasknife]

missing clefdraki hours.... silly little fucked up fellas....

[bunnihearted]

🐰🩹🧸🏨

[tvrningout]

tbh some of y'all keep posting about naruto and it makes me wanna interact so bad bc of my nostalgia, but i know diddly about anything shippuden and beyond :' ) i would be floundering :' )

[emmagail-brainrot]

C: “So, does she have hella powers like Max does too?”

E: “Hm? Powers? No powers. Well. Maybe. She does have the power to get whatever she wants from me.”

—-

M: “Wowser, you did the cover art for this issue?”

A: “Yep! Turns out if you keep sending them your ideas in the mail and also emailing the lead artist enough times every week, your perseverance might pay off!”

[video-hole]

thinking about prev reblog very hard right now

[sadpeopledancing]

x

[ninashiki]

i failed one of my classes :(

[ko-odi]

…

me going from having a dave strider/davekat hyperfixation to a hugo/varigo one was no mistake. I hate it here

[talisnotgone]

don't usually post but

oh my God welcome to nightvale is taking over my entire brain. all of it. the whole cerebral cortex. if you still post about nightvale frequently, please please please PLEASE interact so I can like. follow you and comb through your blog because the Fandom seems to have decayed. as all things do. but I am here crunching and munching on the ashes. wtnv baddies WHERE are you

[nursemimosa]

the purpose of this blog (besides shameless OC posting) is to share art from other artists that I find interesting, so if you interact with stuff I share I feel like my job has been accomplished. so thank you all for supporting other artists.

[fakeoutbf]

.

[pinkmanswrld]

TW/// Drm SMP + Drm

Yknow what? It feels so fucking good to finally say this. But I’ve left the dsmp fandom. I’ve been gone for a while but saying it feels so good. I was so done with all the drama. All of it was stupid and could’ve been avoided had some of the cc’s made better choices. Especially the drm part of it. Yeah I’ll miss some of the content(sbi and beeduo only)but like I’m so much happier now that I haven’t had to deal w people I’m hyperfixated on getting canceled every damn day. Ykwim????? It’s so fucking nice. Definitely recommend stepping away from toxic fandoms if they’re harmful. Just sayin lol! Have a good day y’all.

[pipedreams13]

I discovered Richard Siken’s poetry a while back and I don’t believe I’ve ever read something so raw and beautiful. Every one of it is a fucking masterpiece like jesus fuck i. am. in love.

Scheherazade was the first work of Siken’s that I read and I just knew that I couldn’t leave it there. His words coiled around my heart and stayed there, rusting in my blood.

I’ve had a distaste for poetry for a good bit of time (you can thank school for that) but i do remember the first time i fell in love with a poem was when i read ‘The Raven’ along with most of Poe’s work.

The next significant one to come after Edgar Allan was My Papa’s Waltz by Theodore Roethke, months after my unexpected interest in poetry. I'm not quite sure why i remember it so distinctly.

I’ve read more since then, some of it downright terrible and some, like these, stay.

“So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.”

-Robert Frost

A single word,

you turn my heart into a beating grenade,

The metallic circle of death clinging to your fingers,

winking as my flesh catches flame.