#my literal whole life dream is to live in a big city and be immersed in all the things that i can be

[adainesfroggieboggy]

in my “my dreams are real and tangible. i can make them realer.” era. working hard because i want to, working towards a goal i can see and feel and hold in my hands. all my stumbles and all my setbacks? roadblocks. i can find another route. i can get there. i will be ok.

[dat-town]

wish you were here

Characters: Mark Lee & you

Setting: wish dragon au (and a bit of aladdin because mark even has a tiger in their garden like jasmine did. don’t ask why, just blame the regular mv), childhood best friends to lovers (at least there’s potential?)

Genre: fluff and humour

Warnings: mentions of a sick animal and a wild animal kept as a pet in a huge garden (just like jasmine’s tiger, it’s very tamed)

Summary: A magical teapot, a dragon that wants everyone to be happy and an old friendship being revived. Oh yeah, have I told you that you have 3 wishes?

Words: 6.4k

For @restlessmaknae​ 💕

When your mother told you you got delivery to your childhood home, you certainly did not expect this: a brown box as big as a small watermelon with your old Canadian address and MARK LEE scrabbled next to your name as another recipient but no sender. Not to mention, the first stamp on the thing was dating back to the early 2010s. Where the hell was this package for 10 years? And what would you and your old neighbour slash best friend have gotten together?

Okay, first things first:

You and this clumsy, kind of cute kid, Mark had been quite tight while growing up. You were born in the same year, only a month apart, and his family lived in the house next to yours in the suburbs of Vancouver, so it was kind of natural. You two might have been against the world kind of comrades, playing hide and seek when you were six and wondering about whether time travelling was possible through black holes at twelve. But no matter how close you used to be, you fell out of touch when Mark's family moved to the other end of the world, back to Korea, their roots when you were fourteen. You slowly forgot about him, and started university in the city, moving away from home, so nothing really reminded you of him ⎼ and your stupid, big fat crush on him that you had no courage to tell him about in middle school ⎼, nothing until this box.

You put the delivered package on your kitchen table while you make some dinner for yourself out of what you have gotten during grocery shopping earlier just before you picked up the mysterious stuff at the post office. You eye it suspiciously over your pasta, really not wrapping your mind about what it could be but instead of annoying yourself with this pointless curiosity, you put your fork down and stand up to open it. It’s a struggle at first, the box being secured with multiple adhesive tapes over the years but when you finally get rid of all that and can look inside of it, an intense feeling rushes through you… immerse disappointment.

“A teapot? For real? What were we thinking?” you furrow your brows taking the small, green and pretty old teapot into your hands. It looks like a piece of a traditional Asian set with its jade colour and dragon pattern. It couldn’t have been in a much better shape 10 years ago either seeing how wayworn it is but still, you expected something more… exciting? Something funny that might or might not give you an excuse to look up Mark Lee on the internet and message him for the sake of old times. But how lame it would be to befriend him on Facebook only to tell him that you got delivered a teapot under both your names. Hah, you would rather not embarrass yourself like that.

You shoot one last glance at the teapot before leaving it on your counter and going back to your food, you successfully forget about the whole ordeal. You carry your life on with only one small difference: Mark Lee back on your mind after long, long years.

It was just a small crush, you tell yourself, sighing as you look into the mirror, absentmindedly wondering how he’s doing. Does he think of you sometimes as well? Did he go to music college like he has always wanted? Is he happy? You wish he was even if he’s half a world away and with that thought you think it’s time to go to sleep despite the upcoming weekend days. You don’t want to mess up your sleep schedule over some boy but as soon as you pull the blanket over your chest and close your eyes, something explodes in your kitchen.

You jump out of bed faster than lightning, in slight panic over the fact that your neighbours will hate you for bothering them late at night and your landlord would kill you if you managed to blow up your microwave. But the sight that welcomes you is like no other that you imagined. The whole room is covered in thick pink glittery smoke. Like your worst Barbie nightmare.

“What the⎼” you cough, waving your hands to clear the air and once it dissolves into nothingness with its weirdly cotton candy smell, there’s a boy in the middle of it all, sitting cross legged on your kitchen counter so casually as if he owned the place. His pink-ish purple hair hangs into his eyes and he seems to find your coffee machine strangely interesting. You grab the first thing you can ⎼ a blender ⎼ and hold it up in defensive before yelling at the boy: “Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my apartment?”

The stranger’s mouth pulls up in a charming smile, his eyes sparkle as he turns his attention to you, hopping off the counter. He’s all thin and long limbs, so you hate how you hate to look up at him as he walks towards you before bowing ceremoniously.

“Hello, sorry for the sudden appearance, I just couldn’t wait any longer! I’ve been stuck in that teapot waaay too long. I didn’t mean to be rude or anything. My name is Taeyong, I’m a wish dragon and you’re my new owner,” he smiles and what he says makes absolutely no sense.

“A wish dragon?” you mumble in shock, looking around to see if this is just another prank of Johnny. You wouldn’t be surprised to see him jump out from under one of the cupboards. Or maybe you just fell asleep and you’re dreaming. Yeah, that seems like a realistic scenario.

“Ah, yes! I know I don’t look like it but modern times require modern solutions. Most people freak out because of my dragon form, so human it is,” the boy who seems only a few years older than you grins as he’s chatting and you have to give it to him, he takes this role pretty seriously. “You have three wishes as my owner. You can ask for anything as long as it’s not about death or love.”

So you got yourself someone who thinks he’s basically a genie? Oh gosh, is he that drunk?

“Aha, very funny. I’m too tired for this prank, so I would appreciate it if you left the same way you came...” you point towards your window because there’s no way he came through the door. Putting down your blender because the guy looks pretty harmless despite his crazy blabbering, you move to go back to your bedroom.

“No, no, no, I can’t do that,” the boy, Taeyong as he introduced himself, appears in front of you within a second and grabs your shoulder as if he could shake some sense into you. He looks pretty desperate. “I can only get a new owner if I fulfill all wishes of yours. It was super stuffy in that box the last decade, you know.”

At that excuse you let out a laugh.

“You don’t even fit it the⎼”

“You were saying?” Taeyong is suddenly nowhere near ahead of you but instead a small creature, supposedly a dragon, in the size of your palm flies in front of your eye level. “It’s magic!”

Okay, now that sight makes you feel like it’s you who is drunk. Or worse.

“Am I dead?” you have to ask in a small, uncertain voice, trying to think back what could have happened. Maybe that explosion literally blew your apartment up? But it hurts when you pinch your arm and turning back into his human form, Taeyong wants to prove the very same thing. Not the hurting but the not dead part, obviously.

“No, you’re very much alive and a happy owner of a wish dragon. Not permanently, of course, but still,” he tells you as he drags you onto your couch in the living room. As if sitting down could help processing all this.

So you have a wish dragon in your home, a magical creature that can casually switch between its dragon and human form and he says you should wish for three things, so he could leave and you could go back to your old, boring life without magic and things that scare you to death at 11PM.

“Can I ask… why? Why me? I’m not really owner-material,” you whisper because heck yeah, you even managed to kill your cactus before. Taeyong purses his lips as he sits down, a hand at his chin.

“Well, it’s unusual indeed to have a peasant girl, no offence, as my owner but as far as I know, you and your friend asked for a sign that magic was real.”

Oh, you remember that, being so obsessed with shooting stars and other stuff like that, you two used Mark’s brother’s computer to browse the internet, trying to find evidence about all that. You were kids wanting to believe in a world beyond the one you knew. But...

“That was like 10 years ago,” you furrow your eyebrows, not getting the timing.

“Well, sorry, you weren’t put on the top of the Heaven wish list and the shipping from Shanghai to Vancouver isn’t the fastest either,” Taeyong shrugs as if it was supposed to be natural. As if that was the most unbelievable thing. Well, delivery services are sometimes a pain in the ass, that’s true but getting a wish delivered by Heaven was something you would have never thought of and it all drains down on you. Strangest realisation of your life.

“So… it’s all real,” you whisper ahead of yourself: magic, dragons and all that. You could basically see your old best friend’s I told you so smile and let out a soft chuckle. “I wish Mark could meet with you, too.”

At that the guy ahead of you claps his hands and rubs them together, creating the same purple smoke from before. You look at him alarmed.

“Your wish, my command,” Taeyong grins and lifts his hands and before you could make a sound of protest because gosh, you didn’t mean it literally, you feel the ground move under your feet and you’re falling, into the darkness but despite shutting your eyes automatically, fearing the impact of the crash, nothing comes. Only the smell of soy sauce in the air and warm sunshine on your skin… Wait, what?

Your eyelids fly open and you notice in shock that you’re not in your flat anymore, ready to sleep. Instead, you stand in the middle of a goddamn street somewhere in Korea based on the signs still in your PJ shorts and tee. Oh my gosh! You hide in an alley right away and yank the seemingly proud Taeyong with you.

“I didn’t tell you that I meant right now! I can’t meet Mark in my PJs and I need my phone and wallet to function anyways. Not to mention, I don’t speak Korean at all...” you ramble panicking, the realisation that you’re indeed on the other side of the Earth due to some magic is yet to register. But the awkwardness from the stares you have just gotten has already turned you bashful.

Listening to you, the wish dragon seems sheepish and slightly embarrassed as he scratched his nape, his colourful hair falling into his cast down eyes.

“Oh… sorry. I got so excited over the wish that I didn’t think about it! It’s been a while since I did teleport magic but hey, I still have it in me. Anyways, sorry. Phone and wallet, you said? Here you go,” he pulls out something from his pants which magically seems to be indeed your belongings. That definitely makes things earlier.

“Uhm, thanks. Where are we exactly?”

“Ah, well you mentioned your friend Mark Lee, so we’re here. Well, one bell away because I did remember that it’s rude to intrude other’s houses without permission first,” oh now, you know, you snicker internally and gulp because hell, even if you wanted to see Mark, you wouldn’t have thought that the meeting would come so soon. You didn’t have enough time to prepare yourself mentally.

“So… you’re telling me that this… is where Mark lives?” you point at the impressive apartment complex on the corner of the street but Taeyong shakes his head.

“Nope, This is where your Mark lives,” he says and before you could object about the ‘your’ part, the dragon points at the other side of the road at a luxurious house with a huge garden, basically a palace. Seeing the beautiful fountain, the modern and yet traditional Korean style building beyond the fences makes your jaw drop.

“Hahaha, alright for a magic dragon you must have made a mistake. There’s no way the Mark Lee I know lives here,” you look back at Taeyong finding it funny that the kid who used to wore his favourite tees until his mother basically threw them out would live at such a place.

“Mark Lee, korean name Minhyung, supposed to be 22 years old internationally soon. Bad eyesight, contagious laugh, clumsy but has surprisingly good reflexes, gets embarrassed easily. Sound familiar?” Taeyong crooks a brow at you as he reads the information off from a parchment he just took out of his pants. Everything he listed is just so Mark that you’re left in disbelief.

“Uuh… that sounds about right.”

“His father hit it big in 2016 with a tech company, their net worth has too many zeros to count,” Taeyong explains, seeing how surprised you were over the fact that he lived a lavish life like this. Not that he doesn’t deserve it! Mark is such a sweetheart, so of course, you would only want the best for him but as if half the world wasn’t enough, now you have another huge gap between you.

“Gosh, I really can’t believe this. How am I supposed to just ring the bell and say hello after so much time?” you sighed with your head in your hands. “Argh, I need to buy some clothes and change.”

Taeyong approves the idea based on how enthusiastically he hollers, you wonder why nobody on the street seems to pay no attention to him. Maybe only you see him, just more reason for you to be crazy.

“Good idea because we’re having dinner with Mark!”

“What?” you look up in shock, not following through. Taeyong grins down at you, flashing a giddy smile and with a twirl he’s changed from his baggy, casual clothes to something more chic but still laidback.

“Your wish was him meeting me, so I arranged everything. I can't meet him without you and the teapot there, you know,” he explains as if it was supposed to be obvious. You aren't ready yet though.

“You just want to eat all the fancy delicious food he has,” you squint at him suspiciously and the dragon stays silent, so you must be right. He laughs nervously.

“Maybe, but can you blame me? I haven’t had a feast since a literal decade!” he hollers and somehow you really cannot find it in yourself to be angry at him. You are in Seoul for god's sake after all and magic is real, you can put up with the inconvenience of buying clothes and making yourself look decent before dumping all this surprise on Mark.

An hour later you stand in front of the gates of the Lee mansion and nervously you wipe your sweating hands into your dress. You can totally do this, you just say hi to an old friend, it's not like you're afraid he wouldn't remember you, hah, of course not–

"Y/N!" 

You whip your head at the call of your name to the source of that all too familiar voice. Sure it's deeper than you remember but there's no mistake in whose it is. Plus, who else would call your name in South Korea of all places.

"Mark, hey!" you wave the boy who just got out of one of the fanciest cars you've ever seen in your life. And yet, despite the Prada suit and expensive shoes, styled hair and Swiss watch on wrist, Mark Lee still has that goofy little smile and the doe eyes that used to make you weak in the knees. Hah, who are you kidding? They still do.

"Oh my god, dude, you… you got pretty," Mark jogs up to you and having no filter like always he blabbers immediately only to stutter as his ears turn red. It was so him talking before thinking, so you didn’t really mean to dwell on his words. Although you felt your cheeks dusted with pink soon enough. "I mean, it's really good to see you! I was so surprised to see your name in my calendar for today's dinner! You should have told me you were coming to Korea, I would have picked you up at the airport."

His calendar? Ah, of course, he must have been busy and all that. You wouldn’t have been surprised to see an assistant run after him at this point, so you wonder how your wish dragon magically put you onto his list of important people to meet. Gosh, it was so weird.

"Ah, I have a funny story about that…" you chuckled to yourself but before you could have get out anything, even a please, can we go to a more private place? Mark’s eyes zero on the guy next to you and his eyes grow comically wide.

"And uhm, who is your friend?" he points at Taeyong who waves him in exchange with a kilowatt smile. He looks back at you with his mouth agapé. "Oh my god, you came to invite me to your wedding?"

He says oh my god way too many times for an eloquent rich kid, he really is the Mark Lee you knew.

"No, never! I mean, of course, I would invite you but Taeyong and I– I literally met him on my way here," you explain hastily cursing yourself for the silly lie. You came to tell him the news not to try to make it believable. 

“I heard there’s food,” the wish dragon pipes in very helpful and you shoot him a disapproving glance he doesn’t notice. Luckily, Mark doesn’t seem to mind.

“Oh, yeah, of course, dinner! Come on in, let’s get you two settled,” he grins albeit a bit awkwardly as he leads you through the gate after opening it with his card.

On the way through the very, very, very big garden, he’s chattering about how he misses the Vancouver weather, especially on humid, hot days like this and talks about how he thinks the fountain in their yard is a bit too much but his mom loved it and then before you know it, you sit by a huge dining table with fine food in front of you. Suddenly you can’t decide whether you're grateful for Taeyong’s shameless presence – he digs into the jjigae right away – because at least the situation isn’t awkward because of your silence or you’re annoyed by it because you must seem like a weirdo because of him. That’s why you decide to rip off the bandage and tell Mark as soon as the last maid has disappeared too.

“Okay, so actually I came here because I have a surprise,” you speak up, probably too serious because the boy almost chokes on his food due to how fast he turns his head towards you.

“More surprise?” he coughs out and you offer him a glass of water which he takes with a smile.

“You literally won’t believe this one!” you assure him and wait until he gulps down the drink. Only then you point to Taeyong and tell him that your childhood wish has come true. 

Mark almost falls off his chair this time.

Not after you tell him that though. He laughs at that with that wheezing laugh of his as if you told the joke of the century then pats you on the shoulder murmuring That was a good one, bro and turning back to his food. But then you look at the magic dragon pointedly and Taeyong puts down his chopsticks with an exaggerated sign. Then he flexes his magic: turning into his dragon form among additional sparkles and Mark suddenly looks like he’s about to faint. He reaches out to tap on your shoulder while not taking his eyes off the wish dragon.

“Am I dreaming?” he whispers and honestly, you totally get his reaction while Taeyong mumbles something about ‘people these days not believing in dragons’ as he shows off all the things he could do: gift riches, make one stronger than they are, giving skills of whatever one wants. He starts rambling about how this one Chinese emperor became wealthy thanks to this, how that one actor in martial arts and all this before changing back to his human form and he continues eating his pasta like nothing ever happened.

“I can do this all day,” he shrugs as if he didn’t just perform the coolest magic tricks.

“This… this is the best thing ever!” Mark exclaims with those sparkles in his eyes you missed so much. He was always so excited about new things and it automatically makes you smile how he bombards Taeyong with million questions like: ‘So you are the wish dragon that grants wishes?’ or asking him about his scales, his unique color, how it feels to live in such a small teapot, how old he is and the dragon glows under all the attention. Can’t blame him but Mark has always been so curious about the world, it’s endearing.

“So your first wish was to meet me?” he turns to you after long minutes of interrogating Taeyong and suddenly, under the spotlight you don’t know what to do with yourself. You can feel yourself blushing because you didn’t necessarily mean to wish for that but it’s not like you’re regretting it, it’s just… you don’t want him to misunderstand.

“I thought you should meet him, too, after all the package was delivered for the two of us,” you look down, trying to sound nonchalant while picking your food, avoiding Mark’s gaze. No matter how open armed he welcomed you, you still aren’t convinced that it’s okay to be here because the more time you spend with him, the more you would like to stay a part of his life. “It’s just… I wasn’t really sure we could ever meet again. We didn’t keep contact after you left.”

With dropped shoulders, you try not to sound too downhearted because of what happened because you know all too well, it wasn’t his fault, it was a family decision and look at him, it did good for him! He seems happy, they live in a practically mansion but most importantly, he didn’t seem to change with the wealth. He might wear expensive clothes but under it all he’s still the boy with the most loveable smile.

“I… I was thinking about you a lot, I just thought you forgot about me,” Mark admits with a sheepish smile, tucking his hair behind his ear shyly. He really still is the same and it’s playing silly little games with your heart. If this was a cheesy Disney movie, a slow bgm would start to play as you look into each other but your moment is broken when Taeyong accidentally kicks into his chair as he stands up. At first he looks alarmed but then giggles.

“I will just… go. Don’t mind me,” he disappears like smoke with a wink, leaving you two alone at which Mark lets out a woah. You chuckle at his cute reaction, heart doing somersaults in your chest.

You thought it would be awkward, just the two of you alone after long years but Mark has this thing that he makes people feel comfortable around him, so it’s actually quite nice. You catch up on everything and anything that comes to your mind: old neighbours, studies, friends, what are you doing now and what would you like to do, too.

After finishing the delicious dinner, Mark offers a home tour which you would never refuse and you jaw drops at the huge crystal chandelier in their living room as well as their swimming pool but your favourite place in the whole mansion is Mark’s room because it’s just so him. You can’t describe it well but the moment you step inside, it feels like home. It’s cozy to the point it makes you want to cuddle a pillow. It has colours of pastels, a synthesizer here, a guitar there, posters of singers framed on his wall and vinyl records hanging down. His window has a view of sunset and Namsan above their green garden and although you haven’t been in Seoul before, you’re pretty sure it’s your favourite place in the whole damn city, too.

“Wait, there’s someone I would like you to meet,” Mark suddenly exclaims while you’re looking through his pictures and he pulls you out of his room, out of the house, into the garden: You giggle all the way as he’s being so secretive about it but then your steps halt unexpectedly and the hand you have in Mark’s yanks him back.

“Mark… why is there a tiger in your garden in the middle of Seoul?” you ask as quietly and as immobile as you can. You don’t want to attract the sleeping animal’s attention to yourself. But to your biggest surprise, the boy just laughs, his thumb caressing your skin soothingly.

“She’s Jasmine and she won’t hurt you,” he reassures you but needless to say, you’re not too calm and you’re pulled close to the wild animal that lifts its huge head towards you lazily. “She was abandoned by her mother as a cub and she was outcast in the zoo because she’s a bit sick, so she has always been weaker than her siblings. Dad made a donation and we have raised her since she was young.”

You hiss when Mark reaches out without fear but the tiger basically purrs as he strokes down his fur at the neck. You watch in awe as this big wild animal becomes a soft cat under the hands of Mark Lee. When the boy encourages you to pat her too, you hesitate but he promises you that it’s gonna be alright and you take a leap of faith. 

“What’s her sickness?” you wonder aloud as your fingers get lost in the soft fur of the tiger. You hope she’s not in a lot of pain.

“It’s an immune system thing, not sure what exactly but she wouldn’t have survived this long in the wild,” the boy tells you and his mouth curls up in a smile when Jasmine licks your hand. It seems like you’re tiger-approved. You look into its warm brown eyes and your heart churns at the thought of her condition.

Mark tells you stories of Jasmine, about that one time she crashed his birthday cake or how much she likes to swim with him in their pool during summer and gosh, you could listen to him go on and on forever. You’re only reminded of the reality, that all this is just a possible one-time thing, a weekend getaway with magic when Taeyong shows up in swimwear, ready to crash in said pool.

“I guess he might have been bored in that teapot,” Mark laughs, not minding at all. He even offers you to join but you have a better idea.

“Taeyong, I have my second wish!” you call out for the wish dragon who’s suddenly much more excited about that than the water. He’s beside you in a moment, beaming and curious. You glance at Mark with a soft smile before looking at your personal genie confidently.

“I wish Jasmine would be healthy,” you whisper, playing with the tiger’s furry ears which she seems to enjoy. You were a little bit afraid the dragon would say it’s not possible, that he can’t cure sickness but to your relief, he just grins.

“Your wish, my command,” he nods and puts a hand over the animal. Nothing but a smoke of purple signals the magic being done but you believe in it and so does Mark by the looks of it. He reaches out for your hand and squeezes it gently. 

“Thank you,” he smiles and you smile back. He used to be your best friend after all, it’s the least you can do for him.

Mark convinces you to stay the weekend and there’s no way you could tell no to him, not when he clears his schedule just for you. He never complains about how busy he must be working for his father’s business while being a music major at a local university. All he ever talks about is the places he wishes to show you and he takes you around Seoul as if he was your certificated tour guide. It’s lovely how enthusiastic he is about it while what really matters to you is the time you spend together. He makes sure you two take a million photos to remember by, Taeyong posing on half of them since he joins you on your little trips and sometimes it’s just the two of you watching the wish dragon being genuinely in awe by modern technology, 10 years is a long time after all.

On the last day before you have to go back to Vancouver (thanks to Taeyong’s kind offer to take you the same way you came back since he misunderstood you, you don’t have to sit through a 10+ hours flight and you have more time), Mark not only tries to make you breakfast despite having an in-house chef (his eggs are ugly as heck but you appreciate his efforts and can’t help but coo at his dreamy smile under that grey hoodie when you tell him it tastes yummy) but he also introduces you to his friends in Korea. Of course, they tease you (mostly Mark) about where he has been hiding you but it’s all chill and fun you’re not quite ready to say goodbye. But you should go because the more you stay, the more you don’t want to leave. You’re lucky enough for this chance to reunite with Mark but all good things end eventually.

“Let’s not disappear from each other’s life again, okay?” the boy grins at you as you’re ready to go, Taeyong already working on his magic.

“Yeah, let’s not,” you agree easily, looking forward to your video chatting and constant texting even if it’s from the two opposite ends of the Earth with a terrible time zone difference.

You glance at the wish dragon who’s drumming with his fingers while pursing his lips as if he was waiting for something and you let out a huff before working up the courage to actually do something about these feelings inside of you. You might have regretted not confessing in middle school, you have spent years wondering about the what ifs, so you don’t want to make the same mistake twice but still, you want to give Mark a chance to ignore it all if he wants to. So you step forward and wrap your hands around him as you hug him close. It’s obvious that your action takes him aback, he suddenly doesn’t know what to do with his hands and his body tenses under you but it all melts as you say those words that have been threatening to fall from your lips all this time:

“I have missed you.” you confess, honest and based on the hitch in his breathing, Mark must be surprised. You can’t blame him though, you just wanted him to know. You step back with a weary smile, his big Bambi eyes on you but before he could say anything you nod at Taeyong and you feel yourself falling, purple fog pulling you in. A few moments later you’re back in Vancouver, in your apartment, without him.

The first few days pass in a blurr, you can still barely believe what just happened. Your weekend with Mark feels like a too good dream but Mark kept his side of promise and texted you almost immediately as you left. He sends you selfies, songs that remind him of you and you talk about your days like you never did before. Still, it feels like you’re dancing around certain topics which are basically the elephant in the room and maybe that’s why Taeyong tries to cheer you up in his own way. Though, he soon realizes that you not being happy isn’t the problem, you are happy, you just… miss Mark more than you ever did.

“Enough of moping, you still have a wish left!” Taeyong exclaims, throwing himself onto your bed. “Come on, close your eyes, imagine what you want the most in the world and make a wish!" he singsongs. However, before you could even just indulge him, your phone pings with a new notification.

fullsun00 tagged you in their post!

You click on it right away, wondering what Mark’s friend Donghyuck is doing online at 1AM. The uploaded post turns out to be a photo of you and Mark when you all hang out near Han river. You were too busy at the time laughing at how the boy almost lost his whole scoop of ice cream before he could have had a single bite to notice his smile while looking at you. Based on his caption Donghyuck apparently wasn’t.

fullsun00: just old friends, they say. friends my ass @buttercupyn @onyourm__ark

You click your tongue wondering what Mark thinks of the callout but you press like on the post anyways. You put your phone aside before you could see how his other friends join the teasing in the comment section.

“Actually, I do have my third wish,” you speak up as you turn to Taeyong before he could make a remark on your tinted cheeks.

You’ve been thinking a lot about it during the past days. You could wish for anything but you’re at a point of your life where no riches or fame would make you happier because you’re happy enough just the way it is. It might not be perfect but you don’t want to be selfish and you want to make decisions you won’t regret: like catching up with Mark, curing his tiger and bringing happiness into the life of somebody who only ever served other people in his life.

“Ooh, what is it?” Taeyong claps, giddy as if he was waiting for this to happen. He probably did.

“I wish you would go on a vacation and enjoy life,” you tell him but unlike his usual reaction, this time the dragon’s smile fades and he blinks at you, confused.

“You could ask for anything in the world and that’s what you want? Are you sure?” he furrows his brows, not quite believing your words but you just smile, knowingly.

“Yes, Taeyong, I’m sure.”

“Your wish, my command,” he bows with his hands put together and with a twirl suddenly he’s in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses, looking as ready for a holiday as one can be. You chuckle and tell him to just go, you’ll be fine.

You’re fine, you really are. Life goes on, you study and work, you laugh with your friends, you video call with Mark regularly and his friends are regulars on your social media, too. It’s just sometimes the feeling of missing something hits you harder than other days. Especially when you’re looking through the pictures you have from your Seoul weekend.

“I wish you were here,” you whisper ahead of you at one particularly good photo of Mark and the sunset, smiling at you behind the camera. You miss his smile, the cute wrinkles around his eyes when he crunches his nose, the sound of his laughter, his hand on your wrist… you miss him.

Ding-dong.

You stand up startled at the sound of your flat’s bell, running to the door to open it even though you have no idea who it could be so early on a Saturday morning. Not having a better idea, you expect it to be either a neighbour of your landlord but on the other side of your doorstep stands a boy who you thought was a continent away. He’s dressed semi-casually this time, his shirt tucked in his jeans, hair lightly falling onto his forehead and a nervous smile on his thin lips.

“Mark! But I⎼ I don’t even have more wishes,” you blink, taken aback, looking around to look for Taeyong in case he came back. But your behaviour just manages to confuse Mark instead.

“What?”

“I just wished you were here,” you blurt out without thinking, your words only processing later in your brain and it’s then when heat creeps onto your cheeks. Mark tries to but can’t really hide his growing smile at that.

“Really? I’m glad then. I just took my new private plane on a test drive,” he says bashfully, a silly excuse for real.

“All the way to Vancouver?” you tease, watching Mark fumble with the hem of his shirt. Your heart beats overtime just because of the fact that he’s there. 

“Well, what can I say? I did miss the weather here,” he plays along with a shrug but he’s more serious when he looks deep into your eye and adds: “And you left without letting me answer.”

Oh yes, you did. You were kind of afraid of his reaction but seeing how he was ready to travel across the world just to see you, maybe there’s no reason for you to be so afraid. It feels like deja vu but a reversed one in a way as Mark gently pulls you into a hug, his lips grazing your hair with a whisper that makes your heart skip a beat: “I have missed you too.”

You really wouldn’t wish for anything more.

[reversecreek]

hi it’s me... clicks across the linoleum of the dash wearing high heels w a spray tan like i’m a member of jersey shore suddenly..... best summary of willa is that she got moira rose as her #1 chara on a What Character Are You Most Like personality test out of thousands of options.... says so much. u can find her pinterest here n her playlist here 😋 like this or hmu fr plots!!

* ashley moore, cis female + she/her  | you know willa deneurve, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, most of her life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to watch me by the pom poms like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole sticking gold stars over old polaroids until you can barely see faces, dressing as marie antoinette at your high school prom & delivering fake laughter to a bratz doll you’re pretending is a talkshow host thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is august 1st, so they’re a leo, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

willa ws born to honestly like….. the perfect family not to honk my own tit bt……………. they were jst rly quite wholesome. her mum celeste was this larger than life person who could never b contained by the four walls of any room she was in. she hd the presence of a gold glitter chess piece on an otherwise mundane wooden board. her dad marlon used to always joke that he had absolutely NO idea how he landed her bc he was just this like. rly average guy by all accounts n purposes….. blended into the sea in high skl……. had a few close friends but was never rly Notable or made a proper impression anywhere…… he always retold it as him coasting thru life until he met her in college. kind of like he’d been half awake before. they just Clicked n no-one cld believe she’d chosen him bt she was jst. completely head over heels n didn’t care what anyone had to say bc that was That

willa always very much took after celeste…… there’s this one quote i remember reading that goes vaguely like “my mom and i would sit and listen to leonard cohen and joni mitchell lyrics together. from a young age i remember her being like "i’m playing this song and when it’s done i want u to tell me what’s happening in it” n she would give me a fake glass of wine when i was 8 and i would listen and b like. i think there was an affair.” which so much summarises their dynamic…… she ws just so like. dramatic n fun n always encouraged that in willa too. her mum was like. everything she aspired to be…… got scouted by a modelling agency in college n shot one campaign before blowing it off simply bc she was bored. starred lead in a play. spent a few weeks travelling asia selling handmade candles shaped like koi fish or curled up foxes or elegantly stretched hands. dated a parisian movie star during a break she and her father took n was featured in tabloids on his arm at the premiere. sm fun n exotic stories willa literally cldn’t get enough. whenever she’d tell them to willa as a kid her dad wld roll his eyes like ohhhhh here she goes again but it’d all b playful n he’d smile bc he honestly cldn’t get enough either. the stuff dreams are made of luv (lizzie mcguire stans rise)

(car accident & death tw) so u know when ur walking down a flight of stairs n then out of nowhere u miss a step n u get that lurch in ur stomach like ur in free fall? yeah. i won’t go into it too much but one night they were driving back from getting frozen yogurt and then suddenly they weren’t. she doesn’t rly remember much about it except for completely ignoring the doctors trying to give her the news and just saying “dad chose pecan. who chooses pecan?” n repeating that over n over n over until it didn’t rly register in her ears as english any more.

willa was uprooted from irving at 11 to go n live w her aunt in NY. this was like. a huge adjustment honestly….. her aunt blanche hd always been a little unconventional bt extremely glamorous. she lived in an old defunct theatre she’d bought out n came from a lot of money. willa’s mum’s side of the family hd always been well off bt celeste opted to live a little more Ordinarily shall we say after settling whereas blanche ws jst balls to the walls dripping w eccentric excess…. wld say she was never naked bc she ws always wearing black opium by yves saint laurent…… probably the living embodiment of la vie boheme….. she’d been admitted a yr early to a rly prestigious parisian design school n is an AMAZING seamstress. a corset she stitched a broadway star into got commissioned fr an actress’ red carpet walk at an indie film festival. rly just lived such a life rich w lots of stories n lots of talent too…… had that star quality essence tht her mum had n that was smthn willa found quite comforting everything considered.

(grief tw) u would think maybe a situation like this (one involving so much sudden change) wld cause a kid of tht age to withdraw into her shell bt willa only came out of her shell MORE. she coped w her situation by spinning it into a celebrity origin story inside her head. the tear jerker tale someone tells during their x factor audition to get the judges rooting for them. mentally streamlining things. repackaging all that hurt as a surefire ticket to success bc it had to be useful for something right? there had to b a point to it right? willa decided the point was she’s a star. KFHSGKFHGFKHGKJSFHG. get it girl….. she ws literally just like ok well clearly i’m destined to be famous n i’m the main character of this story. this story called earth. it’s all about me.

rly heavily immersed herself in her high skl theatre scene……. loved experimenting w fashion n literally wore the most outlandish things like. she treated the hallways like her milan f/w debut every new school yr…… a lot of the things she wore were actual like. costumes frm her aunt’s collection…… she has a multi-story closet u have to climb ladders to reach things in like a very rustic library…. it rly wasn’t uncommon for willa to turn up one day corsetted like a pirate with billowing sleeves or sporting the baby blue gingham of a swedish milk maid. it’s like she literally jst…… became a role. always. every day. the world ws her stage. the cameras were always rolling. her aunt only encouraged this tbh n honestly? icon. we love to see it. willa partied a bunch n rly lived a lax lifestyle where responsibility was concerned…. her aunt ws her best friend…… made rly gd friends with performers in the drag club scene n loved the glitz of that….. lots of wild nights turned grossly bright mornings

snagged an agent fresh into her first yr of college (she gt accepted to a pretty competitive theatre program at [redacted] in NY bc i haven’t looked into what that wld be yet <3 i’m merely a helpless british lass <3) n booked a few commercials n things….. when i say willa wld enter audition rooms like she owned the place i’m rly not exaggerating…. once she turned up to a casting call for MEN n just walked right to the front of the line scraping a random chair along the way n then took a seat w her legs crossed popping a bubble in her gum as they all glared at her like wtf is literally going on who are u. she received several complaints n she was just like “ur all acting so jealous of me….”

i feel like she got a pretty big role in a theatre production in her last yr at school. haven’t decided what yet. maybe smthn rocky horror or even mimi in rent. this was meant to b some like huge moment for willa like yes girl finally making it ur on ur way this is what u wanted n she WAS happy abt it but once it was wrapped she jst had this strange like Huh feeling in her chest……. n a la celeste w all her exciting stories was just like well i’ve done that so what’s next? i think she’d graduate n then jst suddenly decide to move to irving in a fit of impulse. to all her college friends she’d be like “ugh a beach retreat is so necessary honestly the city is sooooooooo toxic this place cld literally enlarge my pores if i wasn’t so rigorous with my skincare routine” bt like 🤔 what u seeking girl? results pending.

SO basically i feel like she finally moved back to irving little over a yr ago. she hd a brief stint starring on a reality tv show tht filmed in one of the larger beach houses where her dog gained a handful of fan accounts dedicated to him……. u maybe will see why in the first bullet point of her personality section………… FKGHKSHFGGKFSHKHG. honestly she ws received pretty well too (mostly bc she’s so fking dramatic n like a caricature of a person) bt it wasn’t anything to warrant actual Fame (despite what willa herself might think). she’s mostly jst like. chilling honestly. accepting scripts n flying out fr auditions still. she’ll nab the occasional part bt she’s looking for that One Thing that rly feels like her big moment….. otherwise i cn just imagine her treating irving like a little dollhouse compared to the roaring mansion of NYC n having fun playing around in it. strikes a pose w a hand on my hip…. and now to personality.

PERSONALITY:

got a very large n lithe greyhound n named him marlene dietrich bc she was a black n white hollywood starlet famously known for her affairs n “bedroom eyes”. willa was like ugh. icon status instantly. didn’t rly foresee the responsibilities tht came w owning a dog tht loves exercise n complains abt him being like “ugh he wants to run soooooooooo much 🙄 like where are u literally going”. having said tht loves him dearly n he can often be seen wearing little clothes. a baby’s bonnet. a quilted leather waistcoat. a custom dog boa. he’s very glamorous. willa calls him a gay icon despite no evidence to support this theory. she also says he can sniff out evil in ppl so she brings him sometimes when she’s first introduced to a friend’s new bf n if his nose quivers a certain way she’s like “marlene has spoken. it’s done”. her friends r like omg? what’s done? willa gets up n walks away without elaborating. marlene’s little paws clicking along the floor w attitude.

literally dressed as marie antoinette for her high skl prom even tho there was no theme pertaining to this. jst loves the spotlight. can fake cry and WILL to get out of a parking ticket or teach someone to watch their tone or even simply for the theatrics of it all. the Most dramatic………….. rly fits being an actress like when people find out what she does it’s very like oh that makes sense.

says she doesn’t get hangovers. she’s just like “i revoked that it doesn’t happen to me”. alludes tht this is bc she’s an all powerful deity that was Chosen to be Blessed bt really she’s jst great at bouncing back n acting fine even w a blistering headache. it’s about believing the performance so much that u even convince urself.

has an extremely elevated sense of self importance bc this is kind of the equivalent of several layers of bubble wrap to cushion her frm the world. strives to b extraordinary bc ordinary honestly feels like a death sentence n there’s nothing she’d want to b seen as less. despite this weight she puts on that she rly doesn’t tend to let ppl’s opinions affect fr the most part like she’s quite firmly set in this I’m Literally The Most Gorgeous And Beautiful Angel Star Creature To Walk This Narsty Little Earth view

probably an incredibly big fan of dramatic short lived love affairs. she wants the glamour of it all. the scandal. the randomly breaking up w someone in a public place n sliding on sunglasses after delivering the words over a freshly ordered coffee (tht she’ll leave without drinking bc that’s star power babey she waits fr no man or no hot beverage)…….. has no preference gets w any n all regardless of gender……… romanticises things so they hv a better spin or story in her head n doesn’t rly take things seriously like jst has fun in her fantasy world…. she’s like ugh chuck i know u wanted to marry me but i’m a beautiful bird in a cage n u literally need to undo the latch n set me free……. the guy’s like……. my name’s chase n we’ve only been on two dates….. willa’s like…… please don’t take this so hard i can tell ur besides urself but people r starting to stare……. gets up n leaves. no-one was staring. chase is confused n honestly probably semi concerned fr her welfare.

always has to b the hottest n most glamorous person in a grocery store…. probably goes to them when she doesn’t even need anything jst holding a basket nonchalantly over her forearm glancing over at a cashier in her wizard of oz corset seamed interpretation on a dorothy dress thinking he wants me soooo bad it’s not even funny….. seduces him over the check out counter jst for him to ask her to come back to his so she can lean back scandalised n cry “IS THAT THE KIND OF WOMAN U THINK I AM, PAUL?! YOU’RE A GHASTLY LITTLE MAN, YOU ARE….” with all the gusto of a telenovela. attracts the shocked glances of all surrounding elderly.

speaks fluent french. probably on her brief stint on tht reality show i mentioned earlier was like “ugh can you believe Deneurve of this guy?” n in her head was like this catchphrase is sensational it’ll catch on fast the twittersphere is abt to implode but it didn’t become a thing except for in a small isolated community. despite this she’s like “yeah it went viral….. go figure. just another day in the life.”

honestly like a lot of fun bt also a huge handful at the same time. keeps her real Serious emotions in a locked box bt is always overflowing w melodramatics n rly giving her all at the drop of a hat where Performing is concerned. probably Loves parties n sees them as another form of production in which she wants to b the lead. rly just. loves herself. except does she? 🤔 lifts my hand up like rihanna n winks. find out next time. lucky by britney plays as i slowly disintegrate in spiderman rp…..

WANTED CONNECTIONS

unrequited flame: willa burns thru people like matches. bright n fast. honestly i feel like she struggles to take romance seriously so it cld be fun to play around with someone who’s been singed by that in the past…. mayb they hd actual feelings whereas willa was just messing around n having fun…. living la vida loca so to speak…….. we can discuss a time frame or specifics to expand upon this but. sexy angst perhaps.

those she knew from childhood: willa moved to NY at 11 n i feel like it was very sudden n soon after the accident. maybe she didn’t even say goodbye. maybe they were rly close n all of a sudden she didn’t show up to school the next day n when they rode past her house on their bike the sign said sold and that was that. honestly very dramatic of her even at a young age. we love a disappearing act. houdini who?

acting rival: honestly jst feel like this cld be funny. willa’s so dramatic she’d be like i literally want them dead they’re a despicable little gremlin fr trying to steal my spotlight. cld be as simple as having auditioned a few times fr the same parts or something.

childhood sweetheart: i think it cld be rly cute n sad if there was someone that kind of echoed the dynamic her mum n dad had except she was the celeste n they were the marlon…. (open to any gender)…….. so like. willa was always very larger than life commanding attention in a room n they were more to the sidelines but they just kind of got each other n brought out the best in one another. added angst to the fact tht willa wld maybe want to avoid them as much as possible now bc it dredges up feelings she doesn’t want to confront where her parents r concerned n also in a way any possibility of them winding up together feels like sellotaping an expiration date to both of their foreheads in willa’s brain

someone who was either a fan of or also on the reality show willa was: i imagine it like a reinvention of the hills honestly except based in these irving beach houses…. probably didn’t run that long bt there was a bunch of drama on it mostly staged…… maybe they were willa’s love interest bt it was all fake fr the cameras…… it wasn’t like. a huge deal n didn’t rly catch flight so much where popularity’s concerned bt. cld be fun to play with <3

patti frands: jogs in high knees to translate that into party friends as i adjust my spectacles. willa’s very sociable bt she’s also like kind of full of herself n obnoxious so do with that what u will. KFHGKSHGKGHFSKG. she knows hw to have a gd time tho like growing up she was rly into the gay club scene n the drag scene in NY so like. let’s hear it fr the gays who know how to do it right <3

someone equally over the top: i luv the idea of willa having someone who just like runs with made up scenarios n roles she makes up on the spot n them hanging out is like a 24/7 improv session tht they reel random surrounding strangers just fr the fun thrill

the other woman: willa is quite detached n selfish so she wld easily be the other woman in a relationship n not care about it n this cld make for good spice <3

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Texan-born, Brooklyn-based singer-songwriter and TikTok personality Allison Ponthier makes a splash with 'Cowboy' – it's the enthralling first taste of her upcoming EP. Finding a path away from her conservative upbringing, queer singer-songwriter Allison Ponthier is another artist making country music her own. Taking references from Kacey Musgraves and Orville Peck, Ponthier's take on the genre is high camp and features a kaleidoscopic visual world too. Growing a huge following on TikTok, 'Cowboy' marks the start of a whole new chapter for Ponthier with her debut release with Interscope and Polydor. The track itself references her move from the bible belt to New York City and her journey accepting her sexuality. Warm and inviting 'Cowboy' is cinematic pop with some real heart-on-sleeve confessional songwriting. Complete with a masterful music video that runs like a mini-movie complete with impressive special effects, on reflection, cinematic is an understatement. The video itself is a striking and exciting introduction to this new artist, “I probably watch movies more than I listen to music,” Ponthier says of the video. The clip, directed by Jordan Bahat (Christine and the Queens) adds a whole new cosmic energy to the track and aims to amplify the lyrics' detailed storytelling. As she unveils more of her forthcoming debut EP, Ponthier explains what we can expect from her; “a lot of my songs are about being uncomfortable in your own skin but getting to know yourself better, figuring out who you really are.” [via the Line Of Best Fit]

Miley Cyrus has shared the full video for 'Angels Like You'. The pop rebel returned in 2020 with her excellent album Plastic Hearts, a series of superb empowerment anthems. Album highlight 'Angels Like You' has received the video treatment, shot at the Superbowl in front of an audience of fully vaccinated healthcare workers. Miley has also provided a note for the video describing her feelings of gratitude to these workers. [via Clash]

LA punk four-piece The Paranoyds have dropped a new video for track 'Egg Salad', taken from their album Carnage Bargain which is out now on Suicide Squeeze. The video's director Nicole Stunwyck comments "The video presents the glitzy & glamorous world of a teenage girl who, after accidentally catching a beauty pageant on TV, dreams of her rise to stardom & subsequent downfall... It’s not a commentary on anything but an experimental depiction of my own personal fascination for young tragic starlets alà Valley of The Dolls."

Noga Erez and collaborative partner ROUSSO have shared a fifth compelling new single from forthcoming album KIDS which is set for release on March 26 via City Slang. 'Story' is a snappy, addictive song about how couples relationships are always a relationship between two people’s past and present. "Everyone brings their past experiences to the relationship even if things are great" Erez comments. "Sometimes past situations come in and take over." As with the album's previous singles 'Story' is brought to life with a captivating video, starring Erez and ROUSSO, who also provides vocals on the track. "ROUSSO is my partner in music as well as my partner in life" she explains. "This is the first time we tell a story about our relationship in a song and video. It’s a song about a couple fighting and how, in that situation, sometimes what you hear the other person say is not what they actually said. The making of this video was a 10-day couples therapy session for us. As we rehearsed the pretend fighting and martial arts moves we knew that, at times, one of us would get punched just a little too hard. It was so intense and interesting to live in this world, where our relationship comes alive in the most physical way."

After announcing Detritus with lead outing 'Stories' last month, Sarah Neufeld has unveiled the album's second single 'With Love and Blindness'. Neufeld says of the song and Jason Last-directed video, "The video for 'With Love and Blindness' came together through a long-time collaboration between myself and videographer Jason Last. I knew that Jason and I would work together again on some visual aspect for my third solo release, and it so happened that before I even began recording the album, we were presented with the opportunity to do a mini residence on Corsica with Providenza; an amazing collective with a farm, cultural laboratory, festival and residency program." She continues, "I was doing a short solo tour in Europe in the summer of 2019 in order to re-work some of the pieces from the dance collaboration to begin to find a shape for the album that was to be recorded in the Fall. In the middle of that tour, Jason and I travelled to Corsica for several days (graced once again with a suitcase containing Esteban Cortazar’s unique and beautiful creations). Besides performing in Providenza’s outdoor amphitheater, we were immersed in nature, literally staying in a treehouse perched on the side of a mountain, overlooking the dramatic coastline." Neufeld adds, "I found that the pulse of the landscape resonated with the essence of the music, especially "With Love and Blindness"; a sense of rawness, of sensuality, of a strange gravity intensified by the hypnotic summer heat and the general otherworldliness of the place." [via the Line Of Best Fit]

Molly Burman was brought up around music. At every family event, every party, the soundtrack would resonate with her, providing an education in itself. Both parents were gigging musicians, and she always wanted to follow in their footsteps, to use performance as a means of self-expression. Lockdown brought the time and space to bring these ideas into focus, and she's working to unveil a series of one off singles. Her debut single proper 'Fool Me With Flattery' is out now, a blissfully melodic piece of indie pop with some whip-smart lyricism. There's a tongue in cheek element to her sound that is fantastically endearing, matched by the subtle lo-fi elements of her bedroom pop confection. She comments: "I wrote the song after a long day of feeling overlooked and ignored by some of the guys in my life. I was fed up, angry and used the stereotype of a mansplaining misogynist to let it all out. This song is for anyone who feels belittled and like they’re being made to shrink themselves; be as big as you possibly can, and don’t let anyone fool you with flattery." The video is a hilarious showcase for Molly's offbeat sense of humour. [via Clash]

Punk provocateurs Pussy Riot have unveiled their latest song 'Panic Attack', as well as a music video that features a hologram of singer Nadya Tolokonnikova. This is the final release from Pussy Riot’s new Panic Attack EP, a collection of three linked songs that, for now, can only be streamed as separate singles. The title track features punk guitars underneath a tinkling music box melody, as Tolokonnikova turns anxiety into a sports cheer. “Gimme an A,” she says, “Gimme a T/ Gimme a T/ Gimme an A/ Gimme a C/ Gimme a K/ Okay? Okay.” While upbeat and seemingly cheerful, the synth-punk song comes out of the trauma she experienced in a Russian prison camp. As she explained in a statement, “After serving 2 years in a labor camp, I’m still struggling with mental health issues. Trauma, fear and insecurity never fully go away, causing depression episodes and deep anxiety. ‘PANIC ATTACK’ was born as the result of me staring at the wall for 24 hours in the middle of the pandemic, feeling 100% helpless. I was trying to write something uplifting to encourage people to get through the tough times. But I was just failing and failing. Magically, at the second I allowed myself to be honest and write about despair I was experiencing, I wrote the track in like a half an hour. Depression is a plague of the 21st century, and it tells me that there’s something broken in the way we treat each other. The video ‘PANIC ATTACK’ reflects on objectification of human beings, loneliness, disconnection from the environment that causes us to feel small and powerless. And it’s us who caused it with our own hands – that’s why in the end of the video I’m fighting with my own clone.” The music video for 'Panic Attack' was directed by  Asad J. Malik. He used 106 cameras to capture all angles of Tolokonnikova, then converted that information into a photoreal hologram. Afterwards, Tokyo-based creative technologist Ruben Fro built out landscapes reminiscent of video games through which the virtual Tolokonnikova could frolic. But as the visuals progress, those idyllic settings give way to a hellscape, and the singer faces off against a clone of herself. [via Consequence of Sound]

The wait is finally over. BLACKPINK’s Rosé shines like the star she is with her official solo debut. On Friday, she released two solo songs on her debut single album titled R, 'On the Ground' and 'Gone.' With its deep lyrics, angelic bridge, and Rosé’s high note at the end, 'On the Ground' is an exemplary song for her solo debut. Add the fact that Rosé is credited as a writer for the song, and one can really tell how much time she spent perfecting it for release. The accompanying music video, meanwhile, expands the story of life and growth. Rosé starts off looking lost and trying to find herself amidst all the wildness of life; she eventually encounters past and present versions of herself while searching for answers and purpose. By the end, she finds herself and her path forward, and one can’t help but smile as she sings an explosive outro. [via Teen Vogue]

On Ellise's latest alt-pop concoction the rising pop star gets gothic as 'Feeling Something Bad...' transforms a crush into an obsession. An expert at catastrophising everyday experiences, the LA-based artist has arrived fully formed with not only a consistent and cohesive sound but a striking visual identity too. That's even more clear when you press play on the accompanying video for her latest infectiously catchy track. With the clip directed by Joakim Carlsson we get to see Ellise in her absolute element as she brings "Feeling Something Bad..." to life in a macabre world of its own. “I just love dramatising little everyday feelings in life, so this is my big dramatic ‘I have a crush on you’ song,” Ellise explains – it's a song she wrote about a boy she barely knew. [via the Line Of Best Fit]

With President Biden determined to get the majority of American adults vaccinated by summer, bands are earnestly beginning to look forward to the return of live music. Purity Ring are the latest to announce 2021 tour dates, which they’ve shared alongside the video for their track 'sinew'. The song comes from WOMB, the synth-pop duo’s first album in five years that was released just before the pandemic struck. Directed by Toby Stretch, the clip brings back the abstract graphics and costumes that featured in the 'stardew' music video, continuing the enigmatic story of the domed bicyclist and their sun-headed sidecar companion. [via Consequence of Sound]

Australian Pop Princess, Peach PRC releases the official music video for her debut single 'Josh'. Peach PRC comments on the official 'Josh' visuals, “The music video was inspired by growing up watching the same five infomercials, morning news channels and old movies on my little pink box tv when I was a kid and couldn’t sleep on a school night. The idea was to have “josh” feel just as harassed the more he tries to call. Every creative step along the way was entirely my vision, from writing the music video script, to the lyrics and everything in between. I’m so happy and hope all the girls, gays and theys who dated “josh” will sing along.”

[lifeisdabubbles-undersalmondean]

La Pomme ~ Chapter Eight

Pairing: Sam x OC (eventual Dean x OC and Dean x Castiel. And I mean eventual.)

Series summary: George is a casual French-Mistake-universe Supernatural fan living in no-COVID 2020, who's life is upended when she's suddenly launched between realities, two years into the boys' past (S13E22). What begins as an insane, immersive fan experience turns into more when Jack goes missing and George offers up her AU information to help track him down. Soon it's discovered that she and Sam may actually have history. But that's impossible, right?

Word Count: 3,900

Warnings: {smut, fluff, angst, show level violence, swearing, mentions of suicide} ***Detailed warnings will be tagged for specific chapters.

A/N: Following the events of my prequel Paradise and second story From My Eyes Off. Reading those first gives context but isn’t necessary to start this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Collapsing into one of the comfier library chairs set between some stacks, George took a sip of the small glass of whiskey she figured she'd earned. She'd just scolded a fucking demon from hell. What was she thinking?! It had been pretty cool, but pissing off an evil, powerful being was maybe not the smartest. She could have gotten herself killed!

It had been unavoidable though; upon realizing that Demon Tim must have been the reason they suspected her of being involved in Jack's disappearance, she had been furious. Not only was it not true, it was insulting, humiliating, and just plain rude. It was also simply a bad plan. So, she took it upon herself to enlighten him and to correct his offensive insinuations. Hopefully, it wouldn't come back to bite her in the ass.

Her focus shifted then to Jack. Reflecting over her time there, there were things she remembered having happened on the show. The refugees in the bunker, AU Michael attacking, Jack losing his powers, Lucifer dude being just a regular human dude now; all of it was familiar, even when it terrified her (see: AU Michael attack). But, when they told her Jack was missing, she was thrown off at first. It wasn't something she remembered seeing on the show. Then again, she'd only just finished binging from season 10 to the end of 13 a couple weeks ago and hadn't started 14 yet. So, maybe she was past the point of being able to tell when things were part of their prescribed timeline or not? Therefore, even if Jack had been kidnapped on the show, she wouldn't have any info for them, right?

The problem was, the more she thought about it the more she began to believe she had seen something about this storyline. Jack being missing, the three of them going to save him-

Was it Ryan telling you about some episode where they rescued Jack in the redwoods? They had filmed it on location at some tourist spot you went to as a kid all the time and she thought you'd think it was cool… where was that?

She couldn't remember, and it frustrated her. She was also worried that she was making this all up just to be helpful.

Taking another sip, she allowed her thoughts to wander between episode scenes like an internal microfiche as she tried to nail down her recollection, No, I can definitely picture all four of them in the woods and fighting. Someone had kidnapped Jack, wanting his powers for something… was it the angels?

"Well, that was interesting," Dean stated, startling her out of her thoughts. The three of them were walking into the library a surprisingly short while after she left them with Tim.

Looking up at them, she set the glass down on a nearby shelf and stood up. Dean didn't elaborate further while he poured his own glass. The expressions each one wore were indiscernible and she grew nervous.

"Oh?" George raised a brow and looked between them, "Did he talk? Because you know, I've actually been sitting here thinking about this whole situation and something about Jack going missing is very familiar. Now, unfortunately, I am a few seasons behind, and-""

Dean took a sip, looking at her with curious amusement, and interrupted, "I was talking about you."

George looked surprised and then grimaced, "No, no. I'm not interesting, not at all. I'm the exact opposite of interesting. I'm-I'm… I'm…"

"Uninteresting?" Castiel offered helpfully as she struggled to find the words. Sam and Dean rolled their eyes in unison.

"Right! Thank you, Castiel. I'm highly uninteresting." She gulped a bit and wrung her hands as the three of them kept watching her. In the silence, she nervously looked in Castiels direction and blurted quickly, "I'm also George! Hi! Really nice to meet you! Big fan!"

"Nice to meet you," Castiel smiled awkwardly and nodded a greeting, looking at the other two with a confused expression, "...fan of what?"

"Right, positively boring," Sam interjected sarcastically before he could stop himself. He definitely thought she was interesting. First she's just a beautiful woman, then she's a beautiful woman he may or may not have had a life altering dream about ten years ago, and now she was a beautiful woman from an alternate reality where his life was a prime time television show… who he may or may not have had a life altering dream about ten years ago. 'Uninteresting' was definitely not an adjective he'd use for her.

Dean snorted, "Yea, boring is the last word I would use to describe that scene earlier. You caused Tim to sing like a canary, by the way."

Her jaw dropped in disbelief, "Say what?"

"I almost say we hire her to be our monster torture hypeman," He joked, looking at Sam with a raised eyebrow.

Sam ignored him and addressed Geroge's question, "After you left, Tim-"

"Cleetus," Dean interjected sarcastically.

"Cleetus… well, he sort of... started crying? He said he'd tell us everything we wanted to know if we promised to keep you away from him." Sam looked strangely apologetic and she let a few nervous chuckles escape, unsure whether to believe what they were saying.

"We think you hurt his feelings," Castiel explained further. "Which fortunately seemed to motivate him to talk, so thank you."

"I guess his demon mommy didn't teach him about sticks and stones," Dean cracked, taking another swig.

"Huh. OK. Neat!" George didn't know what to say; she was confused and strangely proud of herself. But she didn't want them to think she wasn't chill, so she shrugged nonchalantly, "You're welcome, I guess. Anyway, as I was saying, I'm not caught up to the current season of my timeline but I think I remember this whole Jack-gone-missing thing a little bit. I want to say you all track him down somewhere in… Oregon? Washington? I'm getting a Northwest-ish feeling." She began unconsciously pacing around the room, gesturing energetically with her hands. "I can picture a battle taking place in the woods...Jack being in danger, you all being in danger, too...some fighting...maybe someone losing the fight? Or getting really hurt," She glanced worriedly at Castiel. He'd be the only actor they'd axe of the three of them, so it stood to reason he'd be the most likely to die if she was right.

Dean and Sam shared a look before Dean asked, "Fine, I'll bite. Do you know a city? A time-frame? Who we're fighting? Anything specific?"

George paused and then slumped a bit in defeat, "No. I've only really watched up through, like, literally now. Other than random things I've heard or seen in passing, I don't know anything that's happened since ya'll got back from the apocalypse world. Been purposefully trying to avoid spoilers, too, which is a decision I now regret, obviously."

"OK, well look, sweetheart, it's OK," Dean began, in an embarrassingly condescending, douchey tone, "We don't expect you to help us. I mean, we're grateful about the assist with Cleetus, obviously but this-" Dean vaguely motioned in her direction and she raised an offended eyebrow, "-was obviously just a weird magical mess that Rowena left for us to clean up yet again. So, you just sit back and relax, and once we find Jack we'll figure out how to get you back home in a jiff, OK?" He winked and finger gunned at her, adding, "Don't you worry your pretty little head about it." In his way, Dean was trying to convey to her a sense of ease and comfort that they would take care of things. But, unsurprisingly, he came off incredibly dismissive and patronizing. Her cheeks flushed an angry red; she'd had it up to here with him by now.

Sam and Castiel exchanged nervous glances at the look on her face and Sam tried to stop it before the inevitable happened, "Uh, Dean, mayb-"

Cutting him off, George slowly walked toward Dean, eyes blazing, "Listen sweet cheeks." She had a polite smile on her face as she tried her hardest to muster up the same condescending, silky, sweet Dean-tone, "I'm sympathetic to the fact that you can't help but be an insufferably arrogant ass most of the time-that's just how you were written," for a split second she saw Dean's cool-guy-smug-face falter and she relished it. She could tell she landed a blow, even if it was a small one, "but maybe you could do us all a favor and try to ignore your cro-magnon dated natural urges and attempt to be open minded for once in your life? Just try to consider the fact that, like it or not, I might not be a total useless red-shirt? That maybe I-once again the lone female in the entire world according to Supernatural-might actually be useful? Hmm? Might actually have useful-albeit vague-information for you? Or would taking your lead from a woman be too threatening to you overbearing, uber-macho, 'we-get-it-you're-totally-straight' masculinity?"

Dean's head jerked back in offense, "Now, wait a minute! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it," She mocked him in a deep, goofy tone, high-fiving herself internally. Nailed it! She'd always hated how damn smug his character was. Yes, fine, he was hot and charming and smart as fuck and right at least like 75% of the time, but he didn't have to be so fucking arrogant about it all the time. She preferred a man with some humility.

Sam was smirking at the look on Dean's face and muttered teasingly, "How does it feel, Cleetus?"

"Except, you actually don't." Cas interjected begrudgingly, as he thoroughly enjoyed watching Dean get verbally bitch-slapped. In fact, he could watch it all day, but they needed to focus on Jack.

"Scuse me?" She said, maintaining her sweet tone while staring daggers at Dean. "Don't what?"

"Have useful information for us," the angel said begrudgingly matter-of-fact.

"Er," Sam interjected seeing the look on her face, "Uh, well, it's just according to Tim-Cleetus-whatever, Jack is being held captive inside an old church in a small ghost town outside Butte."

Dean slapped his hands over his mouth in mock surprise and then, taking a few steps toward George, he mimed a balloon being popped by an impractically large needle. He had an impossibly large grin spread across his face.

"She still has a point, Dean," Sam sighed in an annoyed, if not slightly embarrassed, tone at his brother's display.

Cas nodded in agreement, "Yes, you were incredibly condescending and unfriendly in your attempt at being friendly earlier. Even though she's wrong about Jack, she's right about your inability to relinquish control-to anyone, though, not specifically women."

"You all suck." Dean said flatly.

George ignored him and shook her head. She was more and more sure about her information by the second; despite her doubts she could feel she was right. "Listen, I'm telling you, Jack is not in some bullshit church in Montana. He's…" She struggled to remember. "Erg, somewhere rainy and wooded!"

"Rainy and wooded, you say?" She cringed angrily at the sound of Dean's voice. "That's really great, very helpful. Say, maybe we should look up your little murder buddy-OwnsHisOwnAxe69, was it?-and ask if he's got Jack stashed in the Marin Headlands?" Dean's voice dripped with sarcasm.

George shook her head at him and closed her eyes tight in an effort to block out his negativity. Walking slowly away from him and into the map room, she started talking to herself, in a pointedly loud voice. Her focus bounced between episodes from the show and conversations with her friend, Ryan, a Supernatural Encyclopedia. She was hoping she could piece together something useful.

"OK, hang on, Jack is born, gets sucked into Apocalypse World, comes back, has his grace stolen but he's safely with you guys, he's happy, he's great-albeit, moody and not the best at video games. Then he disappears and you can't find him, yadda yadda."

While she rambled, her mind's eye began conjuring images of what she assumed were scenes from the episode she was trying to think of. While helpful, it was also disconcerting since she'd never actually seen it. She thought perhaps she'd seen clips on youtube while watching bloopers? She never could stay away from them, even if she hadn't seen the episode yet; they were just too funny. Maybe her overactive imagination was just creating scenes around what little knowledge she did have, "...and there's an epic-potentially deadly-fight scene at the end of one of the last episodes of the season. An episode that was, oh so noteworthily filmed on location iiiiinnn…" She tried to demand that her memories behave for her but it was challenging, considering she shouldn't have any memories of having watched the damn thing at all. "...where? Fuck me!" She snarled, chasing desperately after her murky visions as they swirled too abstractly for her to discern.

In a sudden moment of unusual clarity she could see the words displayed behind her eyelids. '...False Klamath? Where the fuck… why does that sound familiar? She flashed to the location in her memories and saw big wooden statues towering outside the scenic little tourist trap

Her eyes popped open with a gasp, "Johnny Appleseed!"

"Johnny Appleseed?" Dean teased, mock exasperatedly, "We're trying to find JACK."

"The Johnny Appleseed statue at The Trees of Enigma! Just outside False Klamath, Oregon!" She slammed both her hands down on the table in front of her in uncontrollably jubilant victory. "HA! Take THAT!" She jumped up excitedly and punched her fist in the air. "I did it! I remembered!"

"Sam, can you translate any of this?" Dean asked, annoyed.

"On the show," She started smugly, before Sam could say anything, "the battle that you two get into when you find Jack, takes place at a tourist spot called The Trees of Enigma. The episode was filmed on location at said tourist spot, in-say it with me now-False Klamath, Oregon. Oregon, Dean. A place that is known for being both rainy and wooded." Her finger was placed on the map table in the general area of Oregon, "that's where you'll find Jack. I'm sure of it." Her adrenaline was pumping and she was so stoked. It felt really good to be useful; like she was part of the show!

"Yea, that's great, sounds fun," Dean started dismissively, though toned down a bit, "but we're not risking Jack's life to follow your hunch."

"Excuse me. Why is my so-called hunch less believable than a demon's word? Especially a demon named Cleetus. Rude," George looked particularly offended now.

"Tim gave us real, solid intel and we've never had a problem when we've relied on our trusted resources in the past," He answered confidently. George's head jerked toward him like she hadn't heard correctly and she gave Sam and Castiel some crazy eyebrows.

"Sorry, you understand that I do watch the show, right?" She asked rhetorically, with a doubtful expression. When he rolled his eyes, she let out a frustrated huff. "Dean, think about this! He's a demon! He lies! Look, I know you have no reason in the world to trust me but you've got to; just think about it. Even IF it is demons that have Jack, don't you think it's possible that the prisoner demon you're threatening to torture might give you a false lead? Especially if he's naive enough to think he'll be able to escape and doesn't want to get in trouble with his bosses? C'mon, this is not-the-sharpest-tack-Tim we're talking about!"

Sam and Castiel had agreeably expressions but Dean's was stubbornly disagreeable, though she could tell he knew she was right. The thought of them going to Montana gave her a dreadful, suffocating feeling, like death.

So, she tried one more tactic and held her hands up in prayer, "Dean please, I don't know what and I don't know how I know, but I know in my gut that if you go to Montana, something terrible will happen. And Jack's not there, I promise you." She dropped all the bullshit and gave him her best seriously-just-listen-to-me face but Dean still wasn't budging.

"Christ, I knew you were stubborn but this is ridiculous, ugh. OK, fine!" She threw her hands up and turned on her heel, heading toward the dungeon.

"Wait, where are you going?" Sam asked quickly.

"Obviously I didn't hurt his feelings badly enough the first time, so I'm going to go have another chat with Cleetus and get him to admit that he's a liar, liar, pant-"

"Er-you... can't do that," Sam cut her off apologetically.

"Sam, he's handcuffed to a chair. I appreciate the concern but-"

"He means you really can't," Dean added. George looked toward him annoyed and Dean continued, "After he gave us everything we needed we pretty much, chk," he finished, slicing a finger across his throat in demonstration. When she looked like she wanted to strangle him, he shrugged and offered, "RIP Cleetus."

George rolled her eyes in exasperation, "But he was lying! Don't you confirm the information before you cut off the source?! Oh my god, why am I even asking? You're the Winchesters, of course you don't." The three of men looked between each other guiltily and she placed her hand on her hip, "What if that was just an act and Tim saw an opportunity. Feeding you some bullshit so that you couldn't actually find Jack? Or, maybe Tim has nothing to do with Jack at all, and sending you to Montana is just a good old fashioned ambush?!" She paused for a moment and gave a surprised, appreciative nod, "Hmm, maybe I underestimated ole' Cleetus a bit. Could have been smarter than I thought."

"She does have a point, Dean. The chances that he was lying are incredibly high," Cas conceded slightly, giving Dean a questioning look. "We have no proof that his lead is any better than hers. Demon's lie."

"Damnit, alright, fine," Dean said, sighing angrily. "Sam and I will go to Oregon to look for Jack; Cas, check out Butte-carefully, strictly recon, do not engage-and call us if you find any trace of him." He shot a quick warning look at George. "We'll turn around and come right to you. Sound like a plan? Great, let's go."

"Wait, no! Don't send him to Butte! Didn't you hear me? If it's an ambush, he'll get his ass kicked!"

"Hey." Cas looked hurt and George softened her face at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry Castiel. You're a total badass when the plot calls for it, otherwise, getting beat up is just kind of your MO." Ignoring the confused look on the angel's face, She turned back to Dean, "and besides you need Castiel in Oregon, Dean. I've seen it!"

"Oh? I thought you hadn't 'seen this episode yet'?" Dean said sarcastically.

"I-I… Well, OK, I haven't, but I've seen the three of you and Jack all together for this fight. Just trust me, you need him there. What if Jack is hurt when you find him? Cas can heal him, right?" She made a questioning face to Castiel; at the moment she couldn't remember the extent of his powers on the show and he was always losing one or another for whatever reason, anyway. But if she was right, she figured that even if Dean wouldn't trust her gut, he might trust that having a healing angel on their journey would be a benefit. "Is that a power you have? I feel like I've seen you do that."

"She's right, Dean. I can heal him if we find him injured," Cas offered her helpfully and she shot him a grateful expression, actually looking him in the eyes for the first time, albeit fleetingly.

"Have you seen Jack get hurt?" Sam asked her, trying to help, too. He remained a neutral party at this point, but if he was honest with himself, he believed her. Maybe a little too much, which is why he was trying to stay impartial. If he was being blinded by his confusing memories and the undeniable-yet-currently-being-denied feelings he was developing for her and ended up wrong, Jack could be killed.

"Uh… I mean, no… not definitively, but it's pretty standard for the show. You're all constantly getting hurt during fights and when it's close to a season finale the danger factor is skyhigh for anyone who isn't you two…" After motioning to the brothers, she trailed off, afraid that this reasoning was going to hurt her more than help her.

Sam gave her a long, contemplative look before finally offering, "I can have a small team go check out Butte. Maybe Garth can join? Last time I talked to him he was near there."

Dean's teeth and fists were clenched as he took a deep, exaggerated breath, "Fine. We'll send a group to Butte and call Garth from the road-No arguments!" He held up his hand to her as she opened her mouth to speak. "The three of us are going to Oregon, just as you demand, but I'm not leaving anything to chance on some alien's hunch. Garth can handle himself."

She made an indignant face at him-she wasn't an alien, she was from an alternate reality! Get it right. But, while she was afraid of someone getting hurt in the obvious trap that had been set for them in Montana, the thought of Garth going instead didn't give her the same full-body fear shudder. So, she figured she'd take what she could get and not push the issue further. Besides, she knew Dean wasn't going to be happy about her next move and she had to pick her battles.

[revangerang]

Oh boy I really got in my feelings and wrote way too much lmao

Tagged by: @edithpattou86

Tags your friends to do their own lists: @chierafied @mother-ishvara @doughygraduatestudent @kazoomajor @pagan-assassin

[[MORE]]

Top 5 animated movies:

1. Whisper of the Heart - Such a cute and whimsical slice-of-life coming of age story, and so inspiring for creative types! I love how Shizuku sees her fantasies come to life in the world around her, and how she just follows her whims to wander the city and treats each day like an adventure. I see a lot of myself in her. The grandpa and his shop are so cool! I want to find a place like that in my city! I love how she and Seiji inspire and encourage each other to improve themselves. Even though they’re so young and I usually hate that kind of thing, I think it’s a very realistic portrayal of what true love and a healthy relationship should be. The way her writing is treated as a creative process and something she can polish with hard work is just such a wonderful message and so inspiring to me.

2. Spirited Away - I love the Japanese culture and mythology, and the serene, still tone of the film. Truly beautiful. The way it doesn’t paint the spirits and gods in a bad light is good and correct: they were the careless humans who went into their world and took what they shouldn’t have. But it still focuses on the supernatural and eerie elements, often without even explaining anything, which I love. And the bathhouse feels like a real functioning place with workplace culture and all. And of course it’s great that Chihiro steps up and learns to be strong. I just love it.

3. Howl’s Moving Castle - I love all the characters so much, and all the magic and whimsy. The fantasy European setting is so charming, and they did a good job depicting Western magic. Ghibli movies really have such mundane magic, and they make me feel like my life is magic too. Sophie is so good and strong and I love seeing her come into her own. And Howl is hot. lmao

4. My Neighbor Totoro - I had the original Fox dub of this on a bootleg VHS my grandma made us when I was literally like an infant. My parents threw it away when I was still young- like no older than 5- because it “has Eastern religion in it” 🙄 Too bad for them the damage was already done lmfao. It was definitely one of the biggest influences of my formative years, I loved it so much and I’m so grateful to it. That mundane magic I talked about before, and just introducing me to a totally different worldview from my sheltered white American Christian bubble. I was fascinated by every single aspect from the traditional Japanese-style home to the bentos to the shrines... I really admired Satsuki and how grown up she was, taking care of her little sister like she did, making the lunches, all that. It’s really such a charming movie with great music and such a realistic depiction of childhood. Plus who doesn’t love Totoro himself?? And catbus! Iconicccc. I still look for little portholes in bushes and trees to this day lmao

5. Mulan - My little 8-year-old enby ass crying in the living room and repeatedly playing the Reflections scene over and over makes so much more sense now 😂 But really it’s just such a great film with a unique art style, fun characters, and great music. I love how Mulan fights for what she believes is right, and wants to protect her father. And I think it’s great how she also fights to find her own place in the world. I like how they don’t make it a “not like other girls” thing, but just that she personally somehow doesn’t feel comfortable in her own skin with the makeup and all that. Between her living as a man and the clear romantic relationship between “Ping” and Shang, it’s pretty good queer representation for a 2000s Disney movie lol. Also Mulan and Shang can both get it I mean what.

Honorable Mention: Prince of Egypt - That animation tho! So fucking cinematic!! And the music and everything just ugh so good! The characters are really compelling too and you can totally feel the brotherly love and familial issues.

Top 5 live action movies:

1. Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day - This is a movie where you can’t look away for a moment or you’ll miss something important. It really is just one entire heck of a day for the main character like howwww does so much happen. It’s really just written so well honestly that they manage to pack so much into a single movie and a single day. I aspire to that level. The 30s setting is so great with the costumes and set and music ahh I get so much inspiration from it. Every single character (and actor for that matter) is just fantastic. It’s super funny- that situational comedy is my jam. And there are touching moments that give me inspiration for my own life. I relate to Miss Pettigrew with her clear social anxiety, and perhaps neurodivergency? But I love how the events of the film bring out the best in her. And Delysia is just so charming! I want her confidence

2. La La Land - Such a fun and whimsical musical about life for creatives in Los Angeles~ It makes me feel nostalgic and proud to live here. I love all the different homages to classic Hollywood, and the music is so good!! The love story feels realistic and I actually really like that they don’t end up together in the end. They just encourage each other to be better, and if that means being apart, they’re willing to do it. It is another one that gives me inspiration for my life and creative endeavors, especially The Fools Who Dream 😭 Gets me every time.

3. Mamma Mia - This is my shameless feel-good movie. I love just putting it on in the background as I clean or whatever. It’s just so upbeat and fun!! I love Amanda Seyfried and Meryl Streep especially. And I like that the main character learns what she wants (and doesn’t want) out of life right now. And I love that they depict older characters and women!! having full and rich lives including romance and sex. The message that it’s never too late for love is so great! And also just like please communicate and you will probably save yourself so much heartache lmao.

4. Across the Universe - I have an affinity for the 60s and 70s, and I love how this movie kind of takes you through that era with the various characters. It’s such a fun movie with great costumes, cinematography, and music! I just love all the covers of the Beatles songs!! I honestly like them just as much as I like the originals. This is one of the first things I ever saw with positive/neutral queer representation?? Like Sadie is presented just as she is, without it being like WHAT SHE LIKES WOMEN?????? I”MPOSSIBLE !! Or making it all about sex or whatever. It’s literally just like “I want to hold your hand.” Also the whole bit with Eddie Izzard is just incredible lmfao

5. LOTR - My first fandom~ I love these movies so much ughhh. The music! The costumes! The characters! The world! The high fantasy!! I think PJ was so true to the books, or at least as much as he was able in just 10-ish hours. I love that they just went for it and filmed all three in one go, and made them over 3 hours long, which was basically unheard of at the time for blockbuster films. They did so good fully representing the different races through costume, language, culture, and the music too. I literally used to just lay on my bed for hours at a time in junior high, listening to the soundtracks and being immersed in the world. My friends and I would often play pretend that we were in Middle Earth (so lame for middle schoolers lmaooo). I love every single (not-evil) character and I will fight for them. I will especially fight Denethor I don’t even cARE !

Honorable mention: A Little Princess - Sooo whimsical and lovely, even when the girls are going through hardship! I love Sarah and how she literally does magic and even puts a curse on what’s her face omgg. She’s so charming and a genuinely good person too, even though she could have been a spoiled brat. The big climactic scene is so !! Omg I still get the adrenaline when she’s crossing the board and then hiding from the police even though I’ve seen this countless times since I was a small child. And it’s so wonderful that she’s reunited with her father, and they adopt the other girl. It taught me at a young age that the world isn’t fair and people will be nasty and abusive for no reason, but that you can still believe in magic and “fancy yourself a princess.” And the neighbor guy taught me that strangers will step in to help out of the goodness of their heart.

Top 5 TV shows:

1. ATLA - One of the best series of all time. The worldbuilding, lore, storyline, character development, animation, music, etc, are all incredible. If they had gone with the original intention of making Zutara canon it would have been literally perfect and so subversive and innovative! As it is it is still nearly perfect and they still did an amazing job with Zuko’s redemption arc. I just ignore that very last scene tbh. In my mind, it didn’t happen. The series addresses so many issues like imperialism, sexism, abuse, family, disability, war, etc, in a very realistic way. Uncle Iroh is literally a treasure.

2. Steven Universe - So charming and wonderful!! I just love it so much!! It is so goddamn queer, it makes me so happy. Stevonnie is the nonbinary representation we don’t even deserve!! I love every single character. I love the animation and the music too! The bgm is so bubbly and glitchy and cool, super on point for trends these days. And the original songs are so charming~ It also deals with a ton of important issues like imperialism, interpersonal relationships, oppression, self-identity, abuse, leadership, mental health, boundaries, consent, brain-washing, unlearning unhealthy behavior, etc. I love that every single character, even minor ones, get character development and a chance to be strong and improve themselves. And it shows that even the ones we initially think are super strong and have it all together, actually have their own issues that they struggle with too.

3. Yuuri!!! On Ice - This show!!!! Oh my goddddddd. Literally perfect. I love that it just subverts every single trope???? Especially with the events at the beginning and the big spoiler in episode 10. Simply incredible. I love every single character so much??? Even ones I was expecting to hate, like how Yurio is a little shit at the beginning, and then when Lilia is introduced as this super severe tyrant, but she ends up just being a good, yet strict coach because she really wants Yurio to succeed. It’s honestly just so wholesome! The music is so amazing and the ice skating is really realistic too! It really shows that they had an actual skating choreographer and worked off video of him performing. I love how realistic the whole show is like with lots of social media, youtube, instagram, etc. And it does a queer romance without it being a gimmick. It’s just a sports anime with a side plot of a romance but it just happens to be gay. And Kubo-sensei has stated that homophobia doesn’t exist at all in their world which makes me so happy. It’s honestly so queer and I adore how all three main characters are genderfucks a bit. I also love how realistically Yuuri’s anxiety and depression are portrayed. I relate so much to him, especially because mine exhibit in the exact same ways as his. It’s another one that inspires me to fight to be better and live the life I want to live.

4. OTGW - So charming. A perfect addition to the canon of New England fairy tales. The music is great, the animation is wonderful and nostalgic, the characters are fun and interesting and spooky. I love how liminal it is and you aren’t really sure where they are or what’s going on for the majority of the episodes. Greg is the most realistic depiction of a small child and the brothers’ relationship is the most realistic I think I’ve ever seen in my life lmao. He’s just so random and weird and has such Little Kid Logic I love it so much lmao. The story is perfectly contained in its 10 short episodes, and it gives a very satisfying ending. I still can’t get over how many huge stars were in it too?? Like fucking Tim Curry as Auntie Whispers???? I can not believe.

5. Inuyasha - I’m weeb trash and this show is also trash but I love it so much okay. As a big fan I hold so much against the anime for changing things from the manga, but even so I love it. Overall I think the animation, music, and voice acting is perfect. It’s so cool with all the mythos of youkai and the shikon jewel, plus I love traditional Japanese culture stuff. And isekai type stuff is my jam. If I found a portal to another world or to the past you bet your ass I’d go through it. I totally don’t still look for portals as a 30 year old adult, I don’t know what you’re talking about 😂 Kagome is such a great mc tbh like she’s so smart and strong and talented and kind I just love her so much??? I want to be more like her. And I love all the characters honestly. I have to overlook some questionable 90s anime tropes for certain ones, but I still love them. As much as we rag on the constant upgrades thing, the battles and stuff are pretty thrilling, and overall the series is good fun. And yes Sesshoumaru is my husbando, next question.

Honorable Mention: Doctor Who - I love how this show manages to be like every single genre?? SciFi, historical, comedy, thriller, mystery, slice of life, etc. I love all of the Doctors, and all of their companions. I just love how much the Doctor loves humans, and how much faith they have in humanity. And again it’s that whole isekai, time travel, normal modern human goes on magical adventures thing. I would go with the Doctor in a heartbeat. I still cry over Donna 😭

[doctorguilty]

ok you’ve all been waiting for it my thoughts on the sonic movie!!!

under cut cause long

so overall! I really liked the movie! I think it sorta landed pretty in the ballpark of what I sorta expected quality-of-plot wise and how much I’d be entertained by it. which is satisfying!!! I’m going to like, stream of thought this, starting with some criticisms which are gonna be kinda hefty cause im critiquing something I care about 

so right away I really disliked the “record scratch so this is me I bet you’re wondering how I got in this situation��� opening like I’m not sure if it was intentionally a self aware joke on that being cliche and dumb but it does like, really frustrate me cause my philosophy for most stories is Start your story where it begins!! which made the backstory infodump more frustrating on top of that, like, I think that’s an easy mistake to make to want to spill your Backstory right away but it’s not necessary! the audience doesn’t NEED to know immediately what sonic was like in his homeworld and his tragic separation from it. we already have the audiences suspension of disbelief in play because they know they’re watching.. a movie about sonic the hedgehog in the real world. I think the backstory stuff would have been much more impactful as a flashback later on, especially when sonic’s whole arc is how lonely and isolated he is. it would be a better punch in the heart to later on be like so by the way as a child his guardian probably died and sent him to earth for his own safety. so that was like AUGH you blew it 

next up that i think was unnecessary like, completely, was establishing that sonic already knew the main cop guy and his wife (omg I already forgot their names..because they were not memorable but we’ll get to that fjdsg) and like, secretly immersed himself into their life that’s ?? odd to me? I think it would have been fine to just have sonic be like attached to the whole small town and he thinks the cop is cool and calls him donut lord, and that’s the extent of it like cause the problem is later down the plot when sonic finds out cop guy is leaving green hills and flips out about it.. I’m like, not sure if I believe sonic, immersing himself in their life, had NOT known that was a thing cop guy wanted to do like he NEVER heard about that??? but that’s like whatever 

I don’t really like the cop guy as the protag human like. oof he was very bland and I’m trying to figure out how to put this into words............ I feel like a character like him isn’t someone the audience can really connect to. this guy has a virtually perfect life with a house and a dog and a job and a wife, his Conflict is that he wants to move to california and see more action and save people, but the WEIRDEST thing about it is that the prospect of leaving his little town behind isn’t really shaking him up at all. it shakes SONIC up later, but up until that point.... the cop just has legit a perfect life and it’s kinda sad because sonic appearing in it physically becomes something that immediately has the effect of “starting to ruin it” and thats why the cop is so like, mean about things at first. 

see I don’t really like that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. if I were to rewrite this keeping the general ideas in mind, I would have opted for a ... paul blart crossed with judy hopps. a guy who’s life isn’t all in order, maybe not living in trash but he doesn’t have a wife, he DREAMS of being a cop and saving people, but he doesn’t quite have what it takes physically/mentally or maybe he’s too afraid to even try. he loves his rural town but thinks like, maybe if I move to the big city I’ll find myself maybe he’s offered a job there for something boring and is like resigning to a boring life idk there’s a lot you can do but you get the idea! a lonely underdog with big dreams. so when Sonic comes into his life, its WAY more impactful to paul hopps.....judy blart...... that Sonic pleads for help saving his life and this sudden adventure isn’t ruining his life either. 

then LATER when we get to sonic being upset that paul hopps wants to leave, it’s less this awkward confrontation “how dare you wanna live your already in motion dreams somewhere ELSE  because people love you HERE” (like .. oof bad take tbh) it would be a much nicer “why do you want to leave your home to become a hero when everyone here already sees you as one” and instead of the shabby like “well I guess I’ll stay because i crossed off saving someone from my bucket list” paul hopps would feel fulfilled he saved sonic and I actually you know what? I’d change up the whole scene with the turtle to be at the end where paul hopps becomes a cop in green hills and he like, saves a turtle crossing the road and is like! that’s what its all about being a hero! like thats cute and resonates with an audience, the message like, being a hero just means being kind and doing the right thing, which is way more suitable for a sonic movie when the sonic series has always been a campy power of friendship thing. 

in a similar vein, the cop being a lonely underdog would give him a better connection with sonic, so that even if he was annoyed by him at first he’d later have the understanding they’re one in the same, you know? connections people!! themes!!!! 

anyway but enough of that au 

so the last thing I’m like iffy about is how robotnik was handled. like jim carry is funny and stuff but it felt like a bit of a mess like, this character is repeatedly reminding us what a hard ass I’M SUPERIOR THAN YOU MY IQ IS HUGE but then being super mega goofy, like I’m all for eccentric scientists but it felt kind of disconnected? and idk like not to be that guy but man.. i remember when sonic 06 came out and everyone hated how eggman was slimmed down to what he looked like in that game jfkdfsgksdj like my brain really doesn’t find a fully slender bodied eggman palatable like......... let my mans be fat ... WHICH tbh I’m a little nervous because at the end of the movie we see this implication that robotnik is turning more visually into the eggman we know with the stache and bald head but I’m worried they’re gonna also go with “and he also gets fat” cause I don’t like that sort of thing, you know? 

i think that’s all for my major criticisms!! but otherwise like! the movie was genuinely really fun and goofy and it felt very in spirit with the sonic franchise! 

if you read bogleech’s post I agree with him whole heartedly that this is the best characterization of sonic. it feels almost like?????? the characterization he was MEANT To have but he always ended  up going TOO MUCH in the direction of confident and cocky and being too cool and successful about it? I love sonic with that hyper teenager-like personality, it’s incredibly charming and cute, like I never Hated sonic as a character but he was defs like... lower on my list of characters in the franchise I found interesting. I felt like I could connect with movie sonic a lot and like! i’d want to be his friend, you know? I really really want to see more of him like that! 

I also agree big time that the movie had the best use of bullet time I’ve ever seen! I’m like omg?? WHY hasnt that ever been a mechanic in a game? 

and overall just like the cuteness like............I literally almost cried when the little girl gave sonic her shoes like AAAAAAAAAAAAA WEEPS............ and the end with sonic getting his own room thats so super cute too!!!! 

oh and the post credits scene with tails was SO FUCKING HYPE like, people in the theater audibly gasped and started being like  YESSSSSSS tails looks really great! 

so like YEAH dabs ,, being a story snob aside it was a fun and cute movie and I’m glad to hear it trumped detective pikachu for a video game movie  I’m glad it’s brought some attention to the sonic franchise! like while it’s cool in some aspects that Nerd Culture is mainstream now, it’s absolutely exhausting the HUGE focus on that is marvel and DC and all that stuff........ like theres nothing wrong w/ liking that but its like.. hm.... idk how to explain it but................. as someone who was bullied a lot in school for liking things like sonic.. like I guess stuff like that people usually see as lame stuff for babies??? superheroes are more like, macho and palatable to adults?? it’s been a good experience for all my normie coworkers to ask what I did for valentines day and I tell them “I saw the sonic the hedgehog movie” and I BRACE myself reflexively to be laughed at but not a single person did they were just like oh cool! how was it? like it really makes me appreciate I got to at least grow up and feel a little more accepted! 

so THATS my thoughts feel free to comment and discuss! 

[ofcloudsandstars]

Day 4

Thursday started with an incredible dream. Its something I still don't know how to process yet but it was so clear and colorful and beautiful that I want to do something with the information.

I think what might have prompted the dream was me thinking of my life living in Glastonbury if I had the means to right away. Then thinking of the type of local magic/witchcraft I'd probably get into. That probably lead to the fascination with the local goddess Avalon and how nature and magic is personified through her. That lead to this beautiful dream that was really like experiencing watching an 8 hour long sailor scouts magical transformation sequence, but in my sleep.

This is solely my beliefs, but I believe that the divine or 'spirit' or in popular terms 'the universe' is something that exists in everything and within us, and that since it’s so immense and has so many qualities and attributes to it, you can understand that this all encompassing energy is made up of many types of vibrations or frequencies within it. These different types of frequencies or vibrations could be understood like 'chords' in a scale of music or like colors in visible light. People often experience these different frequencies as different deities, being fractions of the divine source and though they are all of the same source they all have different roles to play and different paths that can help us etc. instead of us just going to the whole energy of the universe we sometimes find ourselves seeking a specific 'chord' to help us learn a lesson. (Like for example if someone is looking for prosperity, instead of asking the universe, they might work with Jupiter, or give an offering to apollo or whatever they work with). Elaborating on this idea I feel like many cultures have experienced connecting with these different frequencies and personifying them in ways that served them in their communities. It’s why you have so many goddesses of love that are also goddesses of justice, so many gods of war and sex, deities of harvest and prosperity, of the ocean, of the sun and moon etc. The thing that makes these deities very distinct from each other is the context and relationship people of their communities and lands have created with them. (It's also why I really don't have sympathy for people looking to connect with gods in closed cultures cause its like.. you can either make your own connection to those divine frequencies or look in your own heritage and you will find it. The source is in all of us.)

Adding a read more out of consideration for people that are scrolling. Just more details of my dream and the day I had in Glastonbury! 

Anyway I think being surrounded by images of 'the goddess' (basically the divine or the universe personified by a goddess) was sitting in my subconscious and I got this beautiful sequence of faceless silhouettes of goddesses with auras of different colored lights representing different divine frequencies. You had the 'Eternal one' represented by a crystal prism that was the personification of all energy. She had a rainbow crystal aura of light. The following were just different ‘vibrations’ of her, like all of these were the same source but just 'fractions' of the source.

 There was one for every color imaginable and represented 12 celestial bodies (including planet x). It was all very high femme, yet gender neutral and kind of like this repeating messages that all these fractions of goddesses of different colors were apart of the eternal goddess but the eternal goddess was inside everyone as the universal traits of yielding passive and caring energy humanity needs to cultivate to survive. I won't go into detail of every color and their representation here as it's long, a lot of it is like intuitive though like you could easily see how the correspondences could easily fit into each other, but I am thinking about making a post about this in further detail. The only thing is that I am not sure yet what to do with the information. I am already happy working with the planets as they are but it seemed incredibly vivid and somewhat important. I'd love to do a kind of art installation of altars dedicated towards each one of them. It was really beautiful and so well organized in detail I think its worth making something out of?

ANYWAY

The rest of the morning was me going on and on about this dream until my friends were exhausted. Funnily enough we went to THE GODDESS HOUSE for some free healing sessions offered on Thursdays. The sessions were 5 pounds each suggested donation which we happily donated. The goddess house is like this old city council looking building with 3 huge rooms dedicated to a goddess?? Like my dream they were color coded but there were only 3. There is a green and white one (called the green goddess room) dedicated to Brigid, there is a purple dreamy one for Avalon, and a red one for Rhiannon. We waited in the green goddess room which had woolly shag carpets and candles everywhere (big imbolc aesthetic) until a priestess called us to come. I went in with my friend into the purple goddess room and there were two priestesses there and two massage-looking tables covered in purple velvet. In the center I noticed a little altar of little goddess statues each of different colors representing different elements and I got excited!! Cause it reminded me of my dream!! But before I could investigate a priestess asked me to lay down on the table.

She had an INTENSE and powerful energy. Like she was the definition of powerful crone but something about her was so beautiful you felt this rush of affection for her as if I wanted her to adopt me and we could live in her cottage in the woods that had chicken feet underneath it. She was probably at the end of her 60s with the soul of a 2,000 year old apple tree. Something about her was vibrant and powerful like she had dreamy twinkling blue eyes and long wavy fiery red hair and a blue crescent moon that was tattooed on her forehead just underneath her hairline.

I lied down on the bed and she asked me why I came. I said for healing??? and she was like ok but what do you want to heal?

So I was just there like.. Well life has been giving obstacles and I know more is to come so I'd like some strength to persevere through them please. And she chuckled and very gently said that she'll try her best in the 5 minutes time..

She then offered my knees a pillow and a velvety purple blanket. I felt very lovingly tucked in as if I was being put to bed. They asked us to close our eyes and then they did a prayer to the goddess Avalon to help heal us.

Y'all.. I cannot explain how UNPREPARED I was for what came next.. At first it was them gently humming and raising energy by my solar plexus. I did feel a rise of power there. But then she started talking in some TONGUES, some language of the deep earth of which I didn't understand. She was like whimpering and then rattling something around my body, I had no idea what, Then she was making these FEARSOME sounds of like roaring, and SNARLING! and growling as she got some powerful rattling percussion instruments to shake around my body. I was biting the inside of my cheeks cause some of the sounds she was making were so shocking that I was afraid of laughing cause it would kill the vibe but literally anyone in my life I knew that wasn't into witchy shit would have probably ran out of the door. When I was finally able to be more immersed and got over the shock, it was actually so incredible? The instruments she was using was creating a kind of tactile experience that I was starting to see streaks of light behind my eyes. I do have mild synesthesia but it was like watching lightning crackle into a ball above my head and around my aura protecting me. She whispered like she was summoning air spirits and shook things like she was summoning rain and a storm. I felt like a storm around me that was giving me a new armor. They then closed the ritual by twinkling bells around my head and using a feather to brush away something on my shoulders, crown and forehead. She brushed my shoulder and chest in this way that was gentle and intense like it felt soothing but it was with a force that left a gentle gust of wind rolling off my body. I felt like if any negative spirits were attached to me they were gone then lol.

It was really an incredible experience, like I felt so empowered by whatever the hell she did. Even part way when I was still going through the shock I was like damn even if they are making up these sounds or this language and going with it this is some 5 star improv like it was really an experience.

After the temple we went to this tea room and had afternoon tea and spoke to one of the locals there who was friends with someone in our group. She was the one who told us about how Glastonbury changed over the years. How in the 90s it was a bit more edgy and wiccan, in the 2000s it became more goddessy (but I think she was trying to say that had a bad edge too since it was a bit radfem) and now its turned towards the shamanic side and is about the local nature and power in the land. She said that different groups of magical cultures take over from decade to decade and now its going through this new phase which I find pretty cool.

Afterwards we went to a psychic meetup in this beautiful place called The Daisy Center. It looks like you are inside of an angel wing. Everything is white with fluffy white poufs everywhere and gold accents. We sat in the COZIEST lounge filled with big white poufy sofas with fuzzy white blankets to wrap ourselves in and gold pillows. There were huge crystals everywhere and tarot decks on this table around a huge crystal ball. The lady running the workshop had us go through this chakra opening meditation which was so dreamy we all embarassingly drifted off to sleep. We then pulled cards for ourselves, interpreted each others cards for 2020 and it left us with really good insight for the new year!!!!

[greekstreetart-talks]

For the first time since we started interviews we talk to another blogger and not even a Greek one. A different kind of interview with the super-communicative Ivana who comes from Italy to explore among other European cities the urban culture of Athens. This month we discuss with her about her trips.

When did you come to Athens for the first time to explore the local culture and what led you to this decision? Is there a reputation of Athens abroad in relation to graffiti? My first small “urban art” trip in Athens had been in September 2017 and I chose this destination mainly because I received an invitation by a gallerist. I’d visited the city some years before, during an archeological tour of Greece, so I already had the chance to walk around as a tourist and to appreciate the beauty and the architecture of Athens, as well as a bit of street art. This second trip was mainly an overlook of the local street art and graffiti scene. It was interesting but very confusing at the same time. In Italy we know just a few names of Greek artists and crews so I couldn’t expect such a huge amount of writers and artists and so many different styles in the street, as well as I didn’t know that is a city full of contrasts and so much chaos. As a graffiti and urban art blogger and as a traveller, I immediately felt in love with Athens and people, so friendly and nice that right after I felt the need to go back to investigate and explore more and more, as much as possible. Nine months later I finally took the decision to move there.

Which were the first impressions from Athens and the people here? Since I’m from Rome I wasn’t surprised at all by traffic jams, noises and big distances, but I clearly remember that I was shocked by the amount of tags and graffiti in the streets, literally everywhere. I don’t think that you can find something like this, anywhere else in Europe. I felt like I was addicted by urban art and I used to walk for hours and hours taking photos, especially in Exarchia, Psirri and Metaxourgio, as I also used to spend some time watching graffiti on passing trains in Thissio. This crazy mix of street life, underground culture, decadence, chaos, creativity, freedom of expression and amazing graffiti styles was very exciting for me, and that was exactly what I was looking for in my previous trips. During that holiday, amongst one million graffiti pieces around the city, I was mainly impressed by the crews 420, NR4T, 381, Nda, Ofk and by some big old pieces by Amigos and Lifo. 

Urban landscape, lives in the city. For some people living in the city is very stressful, while for some others it is liberating as the choices are quite many indeed. However, people seem to feel more and more lonely and get more and more isolated. What is your point of view on the way of living in major urban centers? When I moved to Athens I had the chance to fully enjoy the city for some months, I used to feel part of a big and well-connected community and a big cultural scene. I was enjoying hanging around and having fun with friends in parties, free events, underground life, graffiti actions, abandoned places’ explorations. Moreover I love how easy was to get in contact, meet and know artists and people in streets and cafè, especially in summertime. From the very first time this reminded me the typical lifestyle of an Italian city that I love, Palermo (Sicily). Unfortunately, living somewhere for a long time could be also a bit disappointing at some point. It took me months, or better, years to discover that beneath this artistic and social outward appearance there was a hidden reality full of all kind of problems, from isolation and loneliness to stress, unreliability and a general unstable mood and disorganisation. I could never say that the main reason is crisis, as the media would probably assert, but that’s for sure a dark side of the city that you can’t ignore or avoid. 

What effects do you think the Arts have in our everyday life? Is Art in public space a natural aftermath? After two years living as a local in Athens I have to admit that I am used to the endless bombing of art (legal or illegal), vandalism in the street, and I like it. Apart from graffiti writing, I have the feeling that the “street art bubble”, or better, this current public art trend, which includes street art festivals and the business of “open-air street art museums” and street art tours, is about to explode. Honestly, I can’t wait for it. 

What I mean is that both in Athens and in other European countries, there are good quality and well-organized events, but the majority are public initiatives of decoration as a form of urban “revitalization”, as if a mural could substitute for a retraining of an area. Most of these events “are just lark-mirrors and cunning and cheap solutions to limit underground scene and to hide or make inhabitants forget lack of interest and projects that could improve quality of life, in any possible way.

Moreover, nowadays a big street artist’s name or a big colourful mural are considered more important than quality and contents, and every day, everywhere, we have new improvised experts, curators, artists and even “Instagram posers”. Needless to say that this trend is not only used for political purposes but is also often connected with ignorance (just think of tourists and locals taking selfies in front of street art painted by artists who are not even known or mentioned), gentrifications and anti-graffiti campaigns. 

As in every field, we should never forget where the whole street art movement comes from; if it weren’t for “vandalic” graffiti writing we’d never have the so called “urban art”, and would hypocrisy to deny it.

Creator and author of the blog “Urban Lives”. In which order did this happen? Did the book come first and then the blog followed or was it the other way round? What need meant to be covered by a project like that? My blog Urban Lives is online since 2016, while my book “Urban Lives - Discovering street art in Italy” had been published 2 years ago. The book can be considered as an in-depth essay, in fact only half of it includes articles from the blog. Because of this book and for many other reasons, as you also mentioned, I prefer to define Urban Lives an independent project (no sponsorships or business involved), because the term “blog” is quite reductive. Articles on street art and graffiti (Italian/English), travel reports, opinions, interviews with artists, photos of actions on Instagram are just a part of my activities. In these intense 4 years, I’ve also organized art residencies (such as the one in Rome with my friend and Greek artist Iakovos Volkov), travels and independent projects with artists, curator of walls/murals, graffiti jams and I’ve attended talks and conferences on street art in museums, universities and events all over Italy. 

In short, Urban Lives is a big part of my life, it’s a diary, a passion, a lot of job of sacrifices, many trips, meetings with people, articles and stories, networking, new international friends, incredible situations and, here and there, even some dreams that came true. I even started to paint graffiti one year ago… but that’s another story!

You are actually writing stories about different cities, (Athens is one of them too) in which you have travelled and that are all somehow related to graffiti. Tell us a few things about the graffiti culture and the way you are perceiving it and experiencing it. Although I’ve been reading and travelling a lot, I can’t say that I have a good or even decent knowledge about graffiti in Europe and believe me, I am not modest, just objective. My school is mainly the street, that’s why I know a lot of things about Greek graffiti writing and I personally met many graffiti writers, including some old school train bombers and some very active ones. But it takes a lot of time to go deep and to understand a world that is so big, underground and complicated. What I’ve learned is that graffiti culture is another reality, with other rules, attitudes, needs and feelings. I needed a full immersion in this life and to personally experience actions, adrenaline, dangers and even tagging and painting to feel it. To be a writer can totally affects your life, either in a good or in a very bad way, and your perception of space and time. 

Don’t you think that Art in the public space can become very intrusive, even annoying for some people? In my opinion, public art should be somehow connected with the environment, the urban landscape or the social community. But, to be honest, in the last years I am not that interested in public art, I am mainly focused on illegal street art (or street art for social causes) and, most of all, on graffiti writing. As we know, graffiti have to be intrusive, sometimes annoying, either in the street or on trains and metro. That’s part of the graffiti philosophy; it’s a challenge to be visible, it’s a challenge to be everywhere.

I guess we all have heard at some point that Athens is the new Berlin or that Athens is the European metropolis of Graffiti. Is this true ,in your opinion? Since you are travelling a lot and to different destinations each time.. In the last 3 years I’ve been several times in Berlin, spending a lot of time with local artists and graffiti writers, included 1up crew and Berlin Kidz. Both cities have a great graffiti scene and an important graffiti history, as well as a great subculture. Although some similarities are undeniable I wonder why everybody say that Athens is the new Berlin, as it could be its possible future evolution. At first, 3 years ago, I was also fallin in this “trap”. The paradox is that Athens is way behind Berlin and many other European cities, so I think it would be more correct to say that it’s just similar to the old Berlin, but probably with a stronger patriotic attitude and much more vandalism. No surprise that we have so many German writers coming to Athens nowadays, bombing everywhere. Of course, that doesn’t mean that Athens is not picking up, actually I think that the current effort of the city is impressive. But still, the cultural rebirth of the city is important but it’s not the main priority. 

You are now living quite a long time here in Athens. Do you feel strongly connected to this city and its people and why? Definitely yes, here I feel home. I can’t imagine my life without Athens and its aesthetic, good vibes, good people. I’ve been living a lot of adventures, happy moments and amazing discoveries and I feel lucky and grateful for this big change in my life and for the whole experience, something that I’ll never forget. I am quite happy for the moment but I think that, as a thrilling chapter in the book of my life, this Greek experience might come to an end, maybe soon, maybe for a while. 

In 10 years time? I hope that in 10 years I still will be a traveller and a reporter and a positive and energetic person full of curiosity, passion and interests. Of course I also hope that, somehow, I’ll be connected with the underground culture. Who knows, maybe one day I will quit writing on graffiti and I will be a proper graffiti writer ihihih... Life is unpredictable (especially mine), we will see!

Thank you very much for this interview, it’s been a great pleasure for me!

Artworks by: Aner, Chius, Barba Dee, Perk Up, Friend, c0in, Conjoined movement, RTMone, Chus, Kasp (OFK), Mota, MrFijodor, Sora, Pyc, Skirl, Wild Drawing, Weed, 1UP

Follow Urban Lives Blog \ Instagram \ Fb Page \ Twitter

_

Για πρώτη φορά, από την στιγμή που ξεκινήσαμε τις συνεντεύξεις μιλάμε με μία άλλη blogger και μάλιστα όχι Eλληνίδα. Μία διαφορετική συνέντευξη με την σούπερ επικοινωνιακή Ivana η οποία έρχεται από την Ιταλία για να εξερευνήσει μεταξύ άλλων ευρωπαϊκών πόλεων και την αστική κουλτούρα της Αθήνας. Αυτό τον μήνα μιλάμε μαζί της για τις διαδρομές της.

Πότε ήρθες πρώτη φορά στην Αθήνα για να εξερευνήσεις την αστική κουλτούρα και τι σε οδήγησε σε αυτή την απόφαση; Υπάρχει κάποια φήμη για την Αθήνα στο εξωτερικό σε σχέση με το γκράφιτι; Το πρώτο μου μικρό ταξίδι «αστικής τέχνης» στην Αθήνα ήταν τον Σεπτέμβριο 2017 και διάλεξα αυτόν τον προορισμό κυρίως επειδή έλαβα πρόσκληση από έναν γκαλερίστα. Είχα επισκεφτεί την πόλη πριν κάτι χρόνια, κατά τη διάρκεια μιας αρχαιολογικής εκδρομής στην Ελλάδα, οπότε μου είχε δοθεί ήδη η ευκαιρία να τριγυρίσω σαν τουρίστας και να εκτιμήσω την ομορφιά και την αρχιτεκτονική της Αθήνας, όπως επίσης και μέρος της τέχνης του δρόμου. Αυτό το δεύτερο ταξίδι ήταν κυρίως μια παρατήρηση της τοπικής τέχνης του δρόμου και της γκράφιτι σκηνής. Ήταν ενδιαφέρον αλλά συνάμα δημιουργούσε σύγχυση. Στην Ιταλία ξέρουμε μόνο μερικά ονόματα ελλήνων καλλιτεχνών και ομάδων, οπότε δε περίμενα τόσο μεγάλο ποσό από writers και καλλιτέχνες και τόσα διαφορετικά στυλ στους δρόμος, όπως επίσης δεν ήξερα ότι ήταν μία πόλη γεμάτη αντιθέσεις και τόσο πολύ χάος. Ως μία blogger αστικής τέχνης και γκράφιτι όπως επίσης και ταξιδιώτισσα, αμέσως ένιωσα ερωτευμένη με την Αθήνα και τους ανθρώπους, τόσο φιλικοί, τόσο καλοί που κατευθείαν ένιωσα την ανάγκη να γυρίσω πίσω να διερευνήσω και να εξετάσω όλο και περισσότερο, όσα περισσότερα μπορούσα. Εννιά μήνες αργότερα πήρα επιτέλους την απόφαση να μετακινηθώ εκεί.

Ποιες ήταν οι πρώτες σου εντυπώσεις για την Αθήνα και για τους ανθρώπους εκεί; Καθώς είμαι από τη Ρώμη δεν εξεπλάγην από την κυκλοφοριακή κίνηση, τους θορύβους και τις μεγάλες αποστάσεις, αλλά θυμάμαι ξεκάθαρα ότι είχα σοκαριστεί από το ποσοστό των ταγκς και των γκραφιτι στους δρόμους, κυριολεκτικά παντού. Δε νομίζω ότι μπορείς αν βρεις κάτι τέτοιο πουθενά αλλού στην Ευρώπη. Ένιωσα σα να ήμουν εθισμένη στην αστική τέχνη και συνήθιζα να περπατάω για ώρες και ώρες βγάζοντας φωτογραφίες , ειδικά στα Εξάρχεια, Ψυρρή, Μεταξουργείο, ¨όπως επίσης συνήθιζα να περνάω χρόνο βλέποντας τα γκράφιτι στα τραίνα που περνούσαν στο Θησείο. Αυτή η τρελή μείξη της ζωής στον δρόμο, της υπόγειας κουλτούρας, της παρακμής, τους χάους, της δημιουργικότητας, της ελευθερίας της έκφρασης και των τρομερών γκράφιτι στυλ ήταν πολύ συναρπαστική για εμένα και αυτό ακριβώς που αναζητούσα στα προηγούμενα ταξίδια μου. Κατά τη διάρκεια εκείνων των διακοπών μεταξύ εκατομμυρίων γκράφιτι γύρω στην πόλη, ήμουν κυρίως ενθουσιασμένη με τις ομάδες 420, NR4T, 381,Nda, Ofk Και μερικά παλαιότερα μεγάλα κομμάτια από Amigos και Lifo.

Το αστικό τοπίο ζει μέσα στην πόλη. Για κάποιους ανθρώπους που ζουν στην πόλη είναι πολύ αγχωτικό, ενώ για κάποιους άλλους είναι απελευθερωτικό καθώς οι επιλογές είναι πράγματι πάρα πολλές. Παρολαυτά, οι άνθρωποι φαίνεται να νιώθουν πιο μόνοι και να απομονώνονται περισσότερο. Ποιά είναι η γνώμη σου για τον τρόπο ζωής στα μεγάλα αστικά κέντρα; Όταν μετακινήθηκα στην Αθήνα είχα την ευκαιρία να ευχαριστηθώ πλήρως την πόλη για κάποιους μήνες, ένιωθα μέλος μιας μεγάλης και ωραία συνδεδεμένης κοινότητας και μιας μεγάλης πολιτιστικής σκηνής. Διασκέδαζα να κάνω βόλτες και να περνάω όμορφα με ανθρώπους σε πάρτυ, ανοιχτές εκδηλώσεις, υπόγεια ζωή, γκράφιτι δράσεις, εξερευνήσεις εγκαταλελειμμένων χώρων. Επιπλέον πρέπει να προσθέσω πόσο εύκολο ήταν να έρθω σε επαφή, να συναντήσω και να γνωρίσω καλλιτέχνες και ανθρώπους στους δρόμους και στα καφέ, ειδικά την περίοδο του καλοκαιριού. Από την πρώτη στιγμή αυτό μου θύμισε τον τυπικό τρόπο ζωής μιας ιταλικής πόλης που αγαπάω το Παλέρμο (Σικελία). Δυστυχώς το να μένεις κάπου για μεγάλο χρονικό διάστημα μπορεί να γίνει και λίγο απογοητευτικό σε ένα σημείο.

Μου πήρε μήνες ή καλύτερα χρόνια να ανακαλύψω ότι πίσω από την καλλιτεχνική και κοινωνική εξωστρεφή εμφάνιση ήταν κρυμμένη μια πραγματικότητα γεμάτη όλων των ειδών τα προβλήματα, από απομόνωση και μοναξιά, μέχρι άγχος, αναξιοπιστία και μια γενική διάθεση αστάθειας και ανοργανωσιάς. Δε θα μπορούσα να πω ποτέ ότι ο βασικός λόγος είναι η κρίση, όπως θα υποστήριζαν πιθανότατα τα μέσα ενημέρωσης, αλλά είναι σίγουρα μια σκοτεινή πλευρά της πόλης που δε μπορείς να αγνοήσεις ή να αποφύγεις.

Τι συνέπειες πιστεύεις ότι έχουν οι τέχνες στην καθημερινή μας ζωή; Είναι η τέχνη στο δημόσιο χώρο ένα φυσικό επακόλουθο; Μετά από δύο χρόνια που ζω ως ντόπια στην Αθήνα πρέπει να παραδεχτώ ότι είμαι συνηθισμένη σε ατελείωτο bombing τέχνης (νόμιμο ή παράνομο), βανδαλισμό στο δρόμο και μου αρέσει. Εκτός από το γκράφιτι writing, έχω την εντύπωση ότι η «φούσκα της τέχνης του δρόμου» ή καλύτερα η τρέχουσα τάση της δημόσιας τέχνης η οποία περιλαμβάνει φεστιβαλ τέχνης του δρόμου και την υπόθεση των υπαίθριων μουσείων τέχνης του δρόμου και περιηγήσεις της τέχνης του δρόμου είναι έτοιμη να εκραγεί. Ειλικρινά δε μπορώ να περιμένω. Αυτό που εννοώ είναι ότι και στην Αθήνα και σε άλλες ευρωπαϊκές χώρες υπάρχουν καλής ποιότητας και καλά οργανωμένες εκδηλώσεις, αλλά στην πλειοψηφία είναι δημόσιες πρωτοβουλίες διακόσμησης σαν μια μορφή αστικής «αναζωογόνησης», λες μία τοιχογραφία θα μπορούσε να αντικαταστήσει την επανεκπαίδευση μιας περιοχής. Οι περισσότερες από αυτές τις εκδηλώσεις «είναι απλά πονηρές και φθηνές λύσεις για να περιορίσουν την υπόγεια σκηνή και να κρύψουν ή να κάνουν τους  κατοίκους και να ξεχάσουν την έλλειψη ενδιαφέροντός τους  και εκδηλώσεις που θα μπορούσαν να βελτιώσουν την ποιότητα ζωής με κάθε δυνατό τρόπο»

Επιπλέον, αυτές τις μέρες ένα μεγάλο όνομα καλλιτέχνη του δρόμου  ή μια μεγάλη τοιχογραφία θεωρούνται πιο σημαντικά  απ’ ο, τι η ποιότητα και το περιεχόμενο και κάθε μέρα, παντού, έχουμε νέους εξελιγμένους ειδικούς, επιμελητές, καλλιτέχνες, ακόμα και “instagram posers”. Αχρείαστο να πω ότι αυτή η τάση δε χρησιμοποιείται μόνο για πολιτικούς σκοπούς, αλλά επίσης είναι συχνά συνδεδεμένη με την άγνοια ( απλά σκεφτείτε τους τουρίστες και τους ντόπιους που βγάζουν selfies μπροστά από τέχνη του δρόμου ζωγραφισμένη από καλλιτέχνες που δεν γνωρίζουν καν, ούτε αναφέρουν), γενικεύσεις και αντι-γκράφιτι καμπάνιες.

Όπως σε κάθε τομέα, δε πρέπει ποτέ να ξεχνάμε από που προέρχεται όλο το κίνημα της τέχνης του δρόμου, αν δεν ήταν το βανδαλιστικό γκράφιτι writing δε θα είχαμε ποτέ αυτό που ονομάζουμε «αστική τέχνη» και θα ήταν υποκρισία να το αρνηθούμε.

Δημιουργός και συγγραφέας του μπλογκ “Urban Lives”. Με ποια σειρά έγινε αυτό; Ήρθε πρώτα το βιβλίο και μετά ακολούθησε το μπλογκ ή το αντίθετο; Τι ανάγκη χρειαζόταν κάλυψη από ένα πρότζεκτ σαν αυτό; Το blog μου Urban Lives είναι online από το 2016, ενώ το βιβλίο μου "UrbanLives - Ανακαλύπτοντας την τέχνη του δρόμου στην Ιταλία" είχε δημοσιευθεί πριν από 2 χρόνια. Το βιβλίο μπορεί να θεωρηθεί ως ένα σε βάθος δοκίμιο, στην πραγματικότητα μόνο το ήμισυ περιλαμβάνει άρθρα από το blog. Λόγω αυτού του βιβλίου και για πολλούς άλλους λόγους, όπως ανέφερες, προτιμώ να ορίζω το Urban Lives ως ένα ανεξάρτητο project (χωρίς να περιλαμβάνονται χορηγίες ή επιχειρήσεις), επειδή ο όρος "blog" είναι αρκετά απλός. Άρθρα σχετικά με την τέχνη του δρόμου και τα γκράφιτι (ιταλικά / αγγλικά), αναφορές ταξιδιών, απόψεις, συνεντεύξεις με καλλιτέχνες, φωτογραφίες από δράσεις στο Instagram είναι μόνο μέρος των δραστηριοτήτων μου. Σε αυτά τα έντονα 4 χρόνια, διοργάνωσα επίσης χώρους τέχνης (όπως στη Ρώμη με τον φίλο μου και τον Iakovos Volkov), ταξίδια και ανεξάρτητα έργα με καλλιτέχνες, επιμέλειες τοίχων / τοιχογραφιών, γκράφιτι και έχω παρακολουθήσει συζητήσεις και συνέδρια για την τέχνη του δρόμου σε μουσεία, πανεπιστήμια και εκδηλώσεις σε όλη την Ιταλία.Με λίγα λόγια, το Urban Lives είναι ένα μεγάλο μέρος της ζωής μου, είναι ένα ημερολόγιο, πάθος, πολλή δουλειά θυσιών, πολλά ταξίδια, συναντήσεις με ανθρώπους, άρθρα και ιστορίες, δικτύωση, νέοι διεθνείς φίλοι, απίστευτες καταστάσεις εδώ και εκεί , ακόμα και μερικά όνειρα που έγιναν πραγματικότητα. Άρχισα να ζωγραφίζω γκράφιτι πριν από ένα χρόνο ... αλλά αυτή είναι μια άλλη ιστορία! Γράφεις ιστορίες για διαφορετικές πόλεις ( η Αθήνα είναι μία από αυτές επίσης) στις οποίες έχεις ταξιδέψει και που με κάποιο τρόπο σχετίζονται με το γκράφιτι. Πες μας μερικά πράγματα για την γκράφιτι κουλτούρα και τον τρόπο που την προσλαμβάνεις και την βιώνεις. Παρόλο που διαβάζω και ταξιδεύω πολύ, δεν μπορώ να πω ότι έχω καλή ή ακόμη και αξιοπρεπή γνώση σχετικά με το γκράφιτι στην Ευρώπη και πιστέψτε με, δεν το λέω με μετριοφροσύνη, είμαι απλώς αντικειμενική. Το σχολείο μου είναι κυρίως ο δρόμος, γι 'αυτό και γνωρίζω πολλά πράγματα για το γκράφιτι writing στην Ελλάδα και προσωπικά συναντήθηκα με πολλούς γκράφιτι writers, συμπεριλαμβανομένων μερικών old school bombers τρένων και μερικούς πολύ δραστήριους. Χρειάζεται όμως πολύς χρόνος για να πας βαθιά και να κατανοήσεις έναν κόσμο που είναι τόσο μεγάλος, υπόγειος και περίπλοκος. Αυτό που έχω μάθει είναι ότι η γκράφιτι κουλτούρα είναι μια άλλη πραγματικότητα, με άλλους κανόνες, συμπεριφορές, ανάγκες και συναισθήματα. Χρειαζόμουν μια πλήρη βύθιση σε αυτή τη ζωή και προσωπικά να βιώσω δράσεις, αδρεναλίνη, κινδύνους και ακόμη και να κάνω tagging και να ζωγραφίσω για να την νιώσω. Το να είσαι writer μπορεί να επηρεάσει εντελώς τη ζωή σου, είτε με καλό είτε με πολύ κακό τρόπο, και την αντίληψή σου για το χώρο και το χρόνο.

Δεν πιστεύεις ότι η τέχνη στον δημόσιο χώρο μπορεί να γίνει πολύ επεμβατική, ακόμα και ενοχλητική για πολλούς ανθρώπους; Κατά τη γνώμη μου, η δημόσια τέχνη πρέπει να συνδέεται κατά κάποιο τρόπο με το περιβάλλον, το αστικό τοπίο ή την κοινωνία. Αλλά, για να είμαι ειλικρινής, τα τελευταία χρόνια δεν ενδιαφέρομαι τόσο για τη δημόσια τέχνη, εστιάζω κυρίως στην παράνομη τέχνη του δρόμου (ή την τέχνη του δρόμου για κοινωνικούς σκοπούς) και πάνω απ 'όλα, στο graffiti writing. Όπως γνωρίζουμε, τα γκράφιτι πρέπει να είναι επεμβατικά , μερικές φορές ενοχλητικά, είτε στο δρόμο είτε σε τρένα και μετρό. Αυτό είναι μέρος της φιλοσοφίας του γκράφιτι: είναι μια πρόκληση να είναι ορατό, είναι μια πρόκληση να είναι παντού.

Φαντάζομαι όλη έχουμε ακούσει σε κάποια στιγμή ότι η Αθληνα είναι η ευρωπαϊκή μητρόπολη του γκράφιτι. Είναι αυτό αλήθεια κατά τη γνώμη σου; Αφού ταξιδεύεις πολύ και σε διαφορετικούς προορισμούς κάθε φορά… Τα τελευταία 3 χρόνια βρέθηκα αρκετές φορές στο Βερολίνο, περνόντας πολύ χρόνο με τοπικούς καλλιτέχνες και γκράφιτι writers, συμπεριλαμβανομένης της ομάδας 1up και τους Berlin Kidz. Και οι δύο πόλεις έχουν μια μεγάλη σκηνή γκράφιτι και μια σημαντική ιστορία γκράφιτι, καθώς και μια μεγάλη υποκουλτούρα. Αν και κάποιες ομοιότητες είναι αναμφισβήτητες, αναρωτιέμαι γιατί όλοι λένε ότι η Αθήνα είναι το νέο Βερολίνο, σαν να μπορούσε να είναι η πιθανή μελλοντική εξέλιξή του. Στην αρχή, πριν από 3 χρόνια, έπεφτα και σε αυτήν τη "παγίδα". Το παράδοξο είναι ότι η Αθήνα είναι πολύ πιο πίσω από το Βερολίνο και από πολλές άλλες ευρωπαϊκές πόλεις, επομένως νομίζω ότι θα ήταν πιο σωστό να πούμε ότι μοιάζει ακριβώς με το παλιό Βερολίνο, αλλά μάλλον με μια ισχυρότερη πατριωτική στάση και πολύ περισσότερο βανδαλισμό. Δεν προκαλεί έκπληξη ότι έχουμε τόσους πολλούς Γερμανούς writers που έρχονται στην Αθήνα σήμερα, κάνοντας bombing παντού.Φυσικά, αυτό δεν σημαίνει ότι η Αθήνα δεν είναι ενεργή, για την ακρίβεια πιστεύω ότι η σημερινή προσπάθεια της πόλης είναι εντυπωσιακή. Όμως, η πολιτιστική αναγέννηση της πόλης είναι σημαντική αλλά δεν αποτελεί την κύρια προτεραιότητα.

Ζεις τώρα αρκετό καιρό εδώ στην Αθήνα. Νιώθεις στενά συνδεδεμένη με αυτή την πόλη και τους κατοίκους της και γιατί; Σίγουρα ναι, εδώ αισθάνομαι σπίτι μου. Δεν μπορώ να φανταστώ τη ζωή μου χωρίς την Αθήνα και την αισθητική της, ωραία ενέργεια, καλοί άνθρωποι. Έχω ζήσει πολλές περιπέτειες, ευτυχισμένες στιγμές και εκπληκτικές ανακαλύψεις και αισθάνομαι τυχερή και ευγνώμων γι 'αυτή τη μεγάλη αλλαγή στη ζωή μου και για όλη την εμπειρία, κάτι που δεν θα ξεχάσω ποτέ. Είμαι πολύ χαρούμενη αυτή τη στιγμή, αλλά νομίζω ότι, σαν ένα συναρπαστικό κεφάλαιο στο βιβλίο της ζωής μου, αυτή η ελληνική εμπειρία θα μπορούσε να τελειώσει, ίσως σύντομα, ίσως για λίγο.

Σε 10 χρόνια από τώρα; Ελπίζω ότι σε 10 χρόνια θα συνεχίσω να είμαι ταξιδιώτισσα και δημοσιογράφος και θετικός και δραστήριος άνθρωπος γεμάτη περιέργεια, πάθος και ενδιαφέροντα. Φυσικά και ελπίζω ότι με κάποιο τρόπο θα είμαι συνδεδεμένη με την υπόγεια κουλτούρα. Ποιος ξέρει, ίσως μια μέρα να σταματήσω να γράφω για το γκράφιτι writing και να γίνω μία σωστή γκράφιτ writer χιχιχιχι ... Η ζωή είναι απρόβλεπτη (ειδικά η δική μου), θα δούμε!

Σας ευχαριστώ πολύ για αυτή τη συνέντευξη, ήταν μεγάλη χαρά για μένα!

[anctssia-blog]

hellooo once again everyone ! lenny again, here to bring you a brand new muse because i truly couldn’t resist sophie’s face. i am very excited for dear ana here and everything you need to know about her is right below the cut !! ( i apologize for the length ... ajksl ) if you like what you see, be sure to give this post a LIKE and i’ll come at you for all the plots !!

( sophie turner. twenty three. cisfemale. she/her. ) ❛ anastasia helders-trenet, an aries from london, england, moved into holloway three years ago. they are a fashion student that lives in apartment 4c and their neighbors don’t particularly mind them. some say they can be self-indulgent and temperamental but others say they’re ambitious and passionate. anyways, one thing is for sure: you hear lush life by zara larsson, it’s ana blasting it.

↘︎ 𝓫𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓼 !

given name: anastasia helders-trenet

nickname: ana

age: twenty3

birthdate: april 10, 1995

hometown: london, england

occupation: fashion student / model

↘︎ 𝓱𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 !

born with a silver spoon in her mouth, anastasia was raised in the epitome of a posh, english household

her father is a successful ceo of a company she’s never really paid attention to, and her mother is a successful fashion designer. they’re far from ordinary parents ( i mean they named their children anastasia and maximilien.... cmon ) but ana has always been incredibly grateful for the life they provided her and her younger brother, max

you’re probably expecting some sort of rich kid sob story, huh? the whole boohoo my parents were never home, we were raised by nannies schtick but ana’s childhood was truly the opposite of that. sure, it was tough growing up with parents with such important, successful careers who often travelled for business, but ana and her brother never held that against them because they understood their parents were just incredibly passionate about their careers — plus, how could they complain when those careers paid for their designer clothes, music lessons, and extravagant vacays?

so yeah, anastasia lived an annoyingly spoiled, exciting, and picturesque life in london. her parents spoiled her and her brother with dream-worthy holidays and immersed them in so much culture, ana just drips of knowledge, passion, and curiosity now

they often travelled to france to visit her mother’s family so she speaks fluent french, learned italian after her first trip to italy when she fell in love with the culture, and can speak some broken german. she’s currently diving into spanish during her studies in nyc

she is quite honestly That Bitch.

for a bit more details about the helders-trenet household, you can check out evie’s intro for max!! she did a v good job of elaborating on their familial relationship

obviously she inherited her love for fashion from her mother. ever since she was little, ana has loved dressing up, picking her own outfits, and shopping through her mother’s closet. so it only seemed right that she ended up dreaming of pursuing her own career in the industry

when she turned 18, ana began modelling for her mother’s clothing line and fell in love with every aspect of the industry. for a year, she modelled for numerous campaigns and fashion shows until she eventually set her sights on working on the other side of the show. sure, getting her makeup painted on and hair curled was fun, but she yearned to actually create

when she was 19, she began studying fashion design in london. she may have learnt a lot from her mother, but ana wanted to make her own roots within the industry and not rely on her name for the rest of her life

for spring semester of her first year, ana decided to study abroad and travelled to new york city with a small group of classmates from her uni — and instantly fell in love with the city.

as an avid audrey hepburn enthusiast, ana’s expectation of new york city was quite high in her mind and she’d half been expecting to be let down. but, it was even better than she’d hoped and dreamed. she’d barely made it one step out of jfk before her eyes had lit up with her dream literally making itself a reality. by the end of her semester abroad, ana had made up her mind on moving to the big apple.

↘︎ 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓵𝔂 !

after her trip was over, she returned to london to pack her things and say her tearful goodbyes to her family before returning to nyc as quickly as she could to start her new life walking the streets she’d grown up dreaming of walking through

obviously, she could have just asked her parents to rent her out a beautiful loft apartment in the heart of the city, but ana wanted to make her experience in new york her own so she found holloway on her own and moved in almost immediately after falling in love with everything about it

she enrolled in nyu’s fashion program and is now finally in her final year of schooling. at the end of the spring, she’ll be a graduate and finally be thrusted into the real world. she’s still a little unsure of what her future may hold for her ( mostly about whether she’ll stay in new york or return to london ) but she’s sorta just going with the flow right now

she still models on the side, mostly small shoots for local designers because she loves supporting them, but her mother often books her some bigger shoots here and there

↘︎ 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓻 !

aesthetics: designer heels clicking against the pavement. a perfectly manicured hand waving down a cab. colour-coded notes and flashcards. late nights spent watching breakfast at tiffany’s. 

notable traits: ambitious, self-indulgent, passionate, creative, honest, temperamental, materialistic

best described as

her parents rooted a deep sense of confidence inside of her heart that often gets the best of her but who says you can be too confident? — probably lots of people but ana doesn’t care. her years of being pampered as the precious helders-trenet daughter prepared her for a life of getting what she wants, how she wants. she was taught everything comes at a price and to work hard to achieve her dreams, which is exactly what she will always do.

she definitely inherited her father’s determination, short temper, and ambition, but her mother didn’t fail to pass on her perfectionism, lust for life, and award-winning smile.

at first sight, ana can definitely be mistaken for a spoiled princess, the designer labels on her clothes and perfect make-up often turning heads and just radiating wealth. she’s been accused before of just taking advantage of her parents’ money and riding their coattails, but honestly she’s just making the most of what’s given to her while also striving to make her own name in the world. she doesn’t want to always be known as the helders-trenet daughter and that was part of the reason she dreamt of flitting off to nyc. in the city of anonymity, she was hopeful that she’d be able to surround herself with people who weren’t aware of her legacy and instead got to know her for her.

doesn’t easily let her guard down after years of priming to not be taken advantage of. she has a sweet smile and is so charming that you probably won’t notice that you know nearly nothing about her or her inner workings because she’s too busy distracting you with her sweet laughter and fluttering lashes

she truly is that Rich Friend™️ who will not hesitate to take you shopping when you’re sad or buy you celebratory drinks. she really cherishes her friends and, once you’re able to get through the trial run, you’re locked in for life. she likes to tell herself she doesn’t trust easily and is this stone-cold bitch, but she truly yearns for attention and love and constantly needs to surround herself with people

↘︎ 𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂 !

once again, if you made it through all of that, you’re an icon. my intros are always Way Too Much

tl;dr: an english princess raised with a silver spoon between her rosy lips. all she’s ever known is love, excitement, and ambition and she constantly surrounds herself with it everyday. she traded in her precious london for her dream city three years ago when she set her sights on making a name for herself within the fashion industry. as a soon-to-be nyu graduate, she’s unsure of what her future will hold for her but is just excited to be on the ride honestly.

first things that come to mind when thinking of ana: clean marble decor, pink silk sheets, early morning jogs, melodic laughter, designer labels, afternoon mimosas, and careful sketches filling notebooks.

↘︎ 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 !

my wanted page for ana is a little under construction, i was able to write a couple connections that i really want for her but i’ll probably add more as time goes on ! i’m very open to anything though ok so just hmu

click right here to be taken to ana’s wanted page.

[amirsethi-blog]

Trips of a Lifetime

Cruise Western Africa in Senegal and the Gambia

Tour the lesser-known part of the African continent with Peregrine’s eight-day Cruising the Rivers of West Africa tour. You’ll see wildlife like dolphins, crocodiles, manatees, and more while aboard the company’s small cruise ship. Then you’ll head inland for a visit to The Gambia National Park to see chimpanzees and make a humbling stop at the island of Kunteh Kinteh, where the American slave trade began. lead with reason A new airport in Dakar makes travel even more accessible this year.

RELATED:

9 Affordable Dream Vacations to Take in 2019

Witness the Great Elephant Migration

For another amazing wildlife experience, book Wilderness Travel’s new trip, The Great Elephant Migration. This 11-day tour takes you through Botswana, Zimbabwe, and Victoria Falls. It’s timed with the elephant migration (July and August departures only) that takes place in Hwange National Park. You’ll also have the opportunity to find leopards, lions, spotted hyenas, jackals, giraffes, buffalo, antelope, and sable, and even participate in night drives for some nocturnal animal sightings. Accommodations include luxurious camps like Camp Kuzuma and Zambezi Sands.

Asia

Be a Nomad in Mongolia

Experience nomadic life in Mongolia on G Adventures’ 10-day tour through the northern part of the country. You’ll ride horseback through the countryside and stay overnight in a homestay at a nomadic camp where you get to sleep in a ger(similar to a yurt). Visit Mongolia now while it’s still a relatively untouched tourist destination; the government recently said it wants to increase tourist visits to 1 million per year in 2020.

Trek the Hidden Himalayas

Head to Dolpo, a part of the Himalayas that’s only accessible by foot. Wilderness Travel’s 13-day trek takes you to the untouched trails and villages of this part of Nepal as you see how ancient Tibetans lived (this part of the region is culturally Tibetan). Highlights include Phoksundo Lake, Kathmandu’s temples, and of course plenty of mani (prayer) walls and chortens (shrines).

RELATED:

Bhutan for Beginners: A First-Time Trekker Tackles the Famed Druk Path

View Japan in a Different Light

Many visitors flock to Japan’s tourist hot spots in spring (to see cherry blossoms) or fall (to enjoy the vivid foliage), and with the country drawing increased attention thanks to the upcoming 2020 Olympics, these times of year are even more crowded. Instead, opt for something different and take a tour of Japan in winter with Topdeck’s seven-day Japan Winter tour. You’ll get the chance to ski at the country’s famed resorts, visit a historical theme park, enjoy sulfuric hot springs, and take a city tour of less-touristy Sapporo.

Central America

See a Different Side of Mexico Than You Did on Spring Break

Mexico’s heartlands are literally the heart and soul of authentic Mexican culture. While the coastal beaches are breathtaking, opt for a more immersive experience on Intrepid’s 15-day tour throughout central Mexico. You’ll visit a pueblo magico, explore the trendy city of San Miguel de Allende, taste tequila in Guadalajara, take a walking tour of Mexico City, and see the Pyramid of the Sun in Teotihuacan up close.

RELATED:

Pueblos Magicos: 10 Secret Mexican Villages

North Africa/Middle East

Explore Undiscovered Oman

SmarterTravel named Oman an emerging destination two years ago, and the country is starting to see more visitors for its blend of culture, beaches, and natural landscapes. G Adventures offers an eight-day tour that takes you through highlights like the Wadi Kakar (Oman’s version of the Grand Canyon), desert camping in the Wahiba Sands, a visit to a turtle reserve, and a tour of the capital, Muscat.

Oceania

Discover Australia Without Going to Sydney

While Sydney is an amazing part of Australia, there’s so much more to the country than just its East Coast. G Adventures’ affordable North to South trip includes the unspoiled national parks in the Northern Territory and makes overnight stops in the Outback at Alice Springs and Uluru before heading down to South Australia’s urban hot spot, Adelaide. Most of the accommodations on this budget-conscious trip are basic, but they include experiences like camping in the Outback and sleeping underground in an opal-mining town.

Europe

Eat (and Hike) Your Way Through Italy’s Boot

If you’re an Anthony Bourdain fan, you may remember the season 10 finale that aired in late 2017, Southern Italy: The Heel of the Boot, which has inspired travelers to get off the beaten path in Italy ever since. Wilderness Travel’s new tour this year, Hiking Puglia and Calabria, visit some of the same mystical towns Bourdain did in what’s sure to be the next popular tourist spot in Italy. Activities range from culinary experiences like wine and olive oil tastings to excursions like cliffside hiking and cave exploring. You’ll also see two UNESCO World Heritage sites: the cave dwellings of Matera (also a European Capital of Culture this year) and the famed Trulli houses in Alberobello.

Float Down the Danube on a Reinvented River Cruise

A river cruise is one of the best ways to see Europe, and U by Uniworld is shaking things up for the industry. With ships and itineraries designed for the “young at heart,” this isn’t your grandparents’ river cruise. My pick for 2019 is the Danube Flow cruise, which covers three countries in eight days: Germany, Austria, and Hungary. There are also departure dates with special itineraries that overlap with Oktoberfest, Sziget Festival, and the holiday Christmas markets and New Year’s Eve celebrations.

RELATED:

The 10 Best Solo Vacations for 2019

Walk England Coast to Coast

Sleep in cozy countryside inns while you cross England by walking 192 miles over nine days. REI Adventures’ England Coast to Coast Hiking trip takes you through three national parks: Lake District, Yorkshire Dales, and North York Moors, where you’ll see grazing sheep, storybook villages, and stunning landscapes. Along the way, you rest at local pubs and teahouses, and the tour includes stops at the home of William Wordsworth, Richmond Castle, Easby Abbey, and more.

Bike the Causeway Coast

The adventurous and active can take a weeklong, self-guided tour through Northern Ireland. Viator’s Causeway Coast Cycle Self-Guided tour is ideal for travelers who want to go at it alone but need some help planning. The itinerary starts with a city cycle tour in Belfast, where you’ll explore iconic sights. You then bike along the coastline with stops in villages and castles to rest and sleep at small inns. The tour includes a ferry ride to Rathlin Island, Giant’s Causeway, Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge, Bushmills Whiskey Distillery, an optional trip to the Dark Hedges, and return transportation to Dublin.

Explore Portuguese and Spanish Islands You’ve Never Heard Of

Portugal was 2018’s hottest destination, and tourism growth shows no signs of slowing down in 2019. Avoid the overcrowded spots with a 15-day cruise throughout the Portuguese and Spanish islands. Hurtigruten’s Atlantic Exploration itinerary is new this year and covers the Azores, Madeira, and the Canary Islands. The journey begins and ends in Lisbon, so you’ll have plenty of time to explore the capital. Stops include three areas of the volcanic archipelago—the Green Island (Sao Miguel), the Blue Island (Ilha Azul or Faial), and the Purple Island (Angra), as well the islands of Porto Santo and Madeira of Portugal, and two islands in the Canaries: Santa Cruz de Tenerife and the less-visited San Sebastian de la Gomera.

North America

Visit a Rainforest in Canada

Home to fjords, rare wildlife, and, yes, a rainforest, is Canada’s British Columbia province. Maple Leaf Adventures’ Great Bear Rainforest trips are sailing-based and include tons of wildlife excursions with opportunities to see grizzly bears, spirit bears, black bears, baleen whales, orcas, gray wolves, and bald eagles. The itinerary also includes cultural experiences with First Nation villages, a trip to hot springs, and kayaking.

RELATED:

Canada Forever: The Ultimate Canada Holiday for Every Month

Go on a Snow-for Adventure

If you’re into snow sports, then this trip should be on your bucket list. Topdeck’s 10-day Great White North tour takes you to Whistler, Big White, and the Big Three ski resorts in Banff.  You’ll also experience some of Canada’s epic drives and sights, like the Sea to Sky Highway, Fraser Valley, the Coquihalla Pass, Kicking Horse Pass, and the Continental Divide.    

South America

Tour Chilean Wine Country

Chile is a hot destination in 2019 with Patagonia’s popularity and the 2019 solar eclipse, but you should visit this destination for another reason: the Casablanca Valley. The area is known for its Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, and Pinot Noir, but has distinct microclimates that growers are learning more about to produce other varieties, like Malbec and Merlot. This trip of a lifetime is just 90 minutes from Santiago by car. Use Upscale travel to plan your perfect trip through the region; activities can include cycling, a helicopter ride, dining with winemakers, and more.

RELATED:

5 Secret Wine Regions You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

Backpack Through Bolivia

Bolivia’s salt flats are otherworldly, and the country as a whole is on its way to becoming the next South American hot spot. Contiki’s 13-day Bella Bolivia tour covers tons of ground, starting in La Paz, the capital, and ending in Chile’s Santiago—the first nine days are spent in Bolivia with an included flight to Santiago on day 11. You’ll truly see it all: the cathedrals of La Paz, the Witches’ Market, the white stone buildings in Sucre, Salar de Uyuni (salt flats), Avaroa National Reserve, the Salvador Dali desert, and plenty more to make this trip of life worthwhile.

Go to the Remote Falkland Islands

Getting to these remote and almost-polar islands isn’t easy—or cheap—but this year marks the first new flight route to the U.K. territory since the late ‘90s. Though no date has been set, the flights will go from Argentina to the islands with LATAM Airlines. Intrepid is offering a new-to-2019 tour for eight days, Falkland Island Expedition: Past & Present, which will take you to beaches, nature reserves, and the battlegrounds from the war of 1982. And don’t forget about the wildlife; a king, Magellanic, and gentoo penguins all call this place home.

Polar

Spend a Night on a Glacier in the Arctic Fjords

If Norway’s Arctic fjords are on your bucket list, take your vacation to the next level with a trip to Svalbard. Off the Map Travel’s summer trip to the archipelago includes dog sledding, kayaking, a glacier climb, and the once-in-a-lifetime chance to sleep on a glacier at the Nordenskiold Lodge. Note that you won’t see the northern lights this time of year, but rather experience the “land of the midnight sun,” which also happens to give you the best chance to see polar bears. If you’re looking for a northern lights experience, the tour company has a four-day All Day Aurora tour to the same region.

[looselucy]

After The Storm

120 Sunlight seeped into my room, casting a golden glow that made waking a welcome pleasure for once. I was happy to find myself still in Harry’s arms, sighing softly and snuggling a little further back, so warm and content that I closed my eyes again, wanting to stay in that moment for as long as possible.

And then something hit me, and my eyes bolted open so fast, a headache thrusting its way into my mind, screaming as it went and making my body bolt upright. My stomach was churning and my heart was racing and everything went blurry. I turned around and started aggressively shaking Harry, grabbing at his shoulders and driving him to an early rouse. “HARRY, WAKE THE FUCK UP!” I scorned, seemingly even more riled when his face formed into this adorable grumpy look, pouted lips and crinkled eyes. “What? What?” He groaned. “Ren, stop!” “WAKE UP!” “I’M AWAKE! What?” “It’s morning.” “I know it’s bloody morning, and I’m tired. C’mon. Let’s go back to sleep.” “Harry, you’re not listening to me!” I cried. “It’s the fucking morning.” “Ren-” “You slept through!” His eyes finally went wide, waking up as quickly as I had, pushing himself and scrunching the sheets so he was upright, back against the headboard and chest heaving as he realised that since we had fallen asleep in one another’s arms, this was the first time he had woken since. “I slept through the night?” He questioned, looking down to the bed as though he was questioning where he was. “I… I didn’t wake up.” His hands started searching over his body, feeling and grasping at his skin as though he was convinced his body was not his own, his life was not his own. A new reality had been introduced to him, something he’d been desperate for, for years. He had been craving and longing for an existence where the blue room no longer troubled him, and for the first time in almost four years, he had slept and woken in the exact same room without any interruptions or interferences. I was shaking, watching tears fill his eyes as he held his hands out in front of him before his eyes came back up to me, and I could see that he was questioning everything, and it was beautiful to behold. “I didn’t have the dream.” A spluttered smile stretched his lips, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I didn’t see the room.” “OH MY FUCKING GOD HARRY YOU SLEPT THROUGH!” I squealed excitedly, throwing my arms into the air for a brief moment before my hands slapped against my mouth. “Oh my god I’m yelling. I’m sorry.” “I FUCKING SLEPT THROUGH, REN! WHAT THE FUCK?” I threw my body on his, straddling his hips and hugging him tightly, letting out a high-pitched squeal of pure joy and excitement as we held one another, so tightly that I was sure I was stinting my own breathing, but it didn’t matter. I was crying but I didn’t feel anything other than elation. All I could think was that even if it was a fluke, just one evening, it was still this huge moment. Even when he drank, he saw the room, it just didn’t scare him or wake him, but it was always there. He’d gone so many years being terrified by his slumber, and finally he’d had an evening where he wasn’t scared. I think we both knew that we’d seen the last of them, but for a moment it didn’t even feel like it did matter if they returned. This blissful moment was something he could embrace for what it was. “We’re such messes.” He giggled into my hair. “Bloody crying.” “Harry this is huge!” I pulled out of the embrace slightly, gripping his cheeks between my shaking hands. “You just… slept, the whole night through, without… without that fucking room. Holy shit!” “I can’t explain what I’m feeling.” He shuddered as I moved my thumbs to wipe away some of his tears, my forehead softly bumping against his. “I can’t… I feel like I can’t breathe.” I closed my eyes, trembles rushing through me, feeling everything at once, realising that my lips were just inches from his. Harry’s breathing steadied, and I noticed the small nudge of his head, like he wanted to kiss me, but he was hesitant, unsure. We stayed in that moment, the tugs in our stomachs telling us to close the gap, but we didn’t. We hovered in that very moment where you’re just about to kiss, we floated in that feeling, immersed ourselves in the excitement and fear of lips meeting lips, tongues tasting tongues. We let ourselves become lost in that pure state, our eyes closed, my hands moving to stroke through his hair, rolling my hips just slightly and feeling him react beneath me. I’d never felt a moment quite so raw, so unadulterated. I felt like I’d left my own body. His breathing became heavier, and I could tell his throat was hitching, nudging so far my way that his lips brushed mine, so lightly I gasped. He pulled away to some extent, still with his forehead to mine, but leaving a looser gap between our lips, fighting the temptations. “We… We should… stop.” He groaned breathlessly. “Okay.” “We’re getting carried away.” “Mm.” I tried to agree, but it was hard when his breath was still hot against my lips. I put my hand on his chest, feeling the harsh beat of his heart, opening my eyes again to see he was already looking at me, forcing himself to calm down. “Those golden eyes fuck me up.” He swallowed. “Every single time.” 121 Things had been weird with my parents before I finally left my family home, but they definitely weren’t bad. Just weird. Things felt very casual. Thankfully, it didn’t feel forced being that way, but I suppose it wasn’t something I was used to. Usually, the one day of the year where we all acted relatively normal was Christmas Day, and other than that there was bound to be some type of argument, and snide comments being thrown around. It was very odd to eat breakfast with them and talk calmly with them and not see my mother rolling her eyes, even once. I’d watched her, waiting for it, and when I spoke about the fact I’d recently moved in with Mo, I was expecting one of the biggest eyerolls I’d ever seen. It turned out, she seemed happy that I wasn’t living with Harry and surviving off his wage anymore. How normal it had been, was exactly what made it irregular. I didn’t know how I felt about heading back into the city. “You gotta let me know how you sleep tonight.” I said to Harry as we sat awaiting the arrival of our train. “I will, I promise.” He nodded. “I dunno though… I’ve just got this feeling that… I’ve seen the last of them.” “That’s crazy.” I shook my head, hardly able to imagine how he was feeling. “After all these years…” “It’s gunna change my life.” He was astonished by the thought. “Literally… I can’t imagine how different my days are gunna be. Just being less tired and… It’s crazy. Is it weird that I’m a bit scared?” “No.” I shook my head. “It’s a huge change. Change is always scary, good or bad.” “I guess so. And… A lot has changed recently. It’s not just the dreams like… I feel like when I get back home I’m entering this totally new stage of my life. I feel like everything’s changed and… I’m scared.” “Use it as a drive. This could be a good thing if you let it be.” I tried to encourage. “Take this as your chance to do exactly what you want to do, and stomp out the things you don’t like in your life. Change everything at once, and start afresh.” He nodded confidently, soaking in my words before he turned his head to me, looking me up and down suspiciously. I scowled back at him. “What?” I sniggered. “When did you get wise?” “Fuck off.” I giggled. “I’ve always been wise.” “I think you’re getting wiser. How good are you at taking your own advice?” “Hm… Shit, probably.” He smiled down to his lap, his dimples heavy within his cheeks, his happiness as infectious as ever as he twisted the rings on his fingers and I smiled downwards too. “How you feeling about everything?” He asked. “You’ve had some changes too.” “I actually feel good, yknow. I’m gunna try to take my own advice this time… I hope. Take some big steps forward and start afresh. It’s a good thing… I think. I mean… I’m genuinely excited to go and talk to Dr Jackson.” “Yeah, me too.” In the distance, we saw our train finally arriving at the station, the two of us getting to our feet and grabbing our bags in preparation, Harry routing through the open zip of his to find the crossword book, an action that for some reason made my stomach flip. I guess I was excited to start afresh. I was eager, in some ways, to get back and settle for the evening with Mo, to apply for more jobs and accept any offer that came my way, no matter how terrible. I wanted to begin this next stage of my life with a really positive outlook, the only thing that felt strange was the fact that I knew that Harry wasn’t going to be a part of it. He had wanted distance. He wanted the chance to fall out of love with me, and I was going to grant him that, without a fight, no matter how much it hurt me to know we really were cutting ties. It was my own decision for it to be that way, but those past few days had reminded me how much I admired him, and how his support and understanding had been such a positive part of my life. When I’d left him, I’d been too frantic and upset to realise that I was removing that, and that it was my choice to do so. But we needed our space. All our goodbyes and attempts at walking out of each other’s lives had fallen apart, and this time, we knew it needed to stick. We wandered onto the train and sat ourselves down, Harry taking the window seat this time around, and I tried to accept the fact that he would dwindle out of my life. It felt bittersweet, really. I knew it was a good thing, to let him begin this new stage of his life that I wasn’t a part of, because all I did was fuck with his head. He knew about his brother, he was on good terms with his parents, his dreams had come to an end, and he could finally begin this amazing era of his life. I didn’t want to be there dragging him through all the issues I still had. Once the train began to buckle, I turned to look at him, smiling softly as he flicked through the crossword book to find a blank page, and it was strange, because I didn’t want him out of my life, but I was happy for him, that I would be out of his. “Do you regret bringing me?” I asked nervously as we picked up speed. “No. Not at all. Why would I?” “Because… Because it’s me.” “Hey, don’t do that.” He groaned. “This is where you go wrong, Ren. You convince yourself that people have negative feelings towards when they don’t!” “But-” “I don’t care what’s happened. I don’t regret anything about us, or how I feel about you. Okay? It didn’t matter what had happened, because we care about each other. I don’t know… what we are to each other right now, or what we will be in the future, but you’re my first love. We’re there for each other and we support each other. How could I regret that?” I thought about how carried away we’d got that morning, so thrilled by the thought of his dreams ending that we so nearly kissed, and I knew we shouldn’t have gotten that way. We shouldn’t have allowed ourselves to get so close to that happening, but there was this undeniable pull there that I couldn’t shake, even when I wanted to. And I really fucking wanted to. “You… drive me fucking mad, Curls.” “What? Why?” He grinned. “You’re so… collected and civil… and… I don’t know anyone who can calm themselves down and figure their shit out in the way you can. I want that. I… envy you, so so much. How do you do that?” “I sit, and I think things through.” He shrugged, like it was nothing. “I put myself in other people’s shoes, and I try to feel what they feel. It’s not always easy, but… It helps.” I stuck my tongue out at him, which earnt me a laugh, and I liked that Harry was aware of his good qualities. He knew what he was like, and what he was good at, and where he thrived. Of course I envied him. He was everything I wanted to be. “Do you reckon you’ll be done with therapy soon?” I asked. “I mean… I think so. I hope so. I’d love to know a little bit more about the dreams but… I guess there’s no need. I imagine there’ll be some kinda… aftermath to this, and some things I could do with speaking to her about but… that might only last a session or two.” “She’s gunna be so happy for you.” I shook my head and smiled. “I need to tell everyone. Holy shit… I need to tell my mum and dad. More tears. Louis’ll probably cry as well to be honest.” “It’s because you mean so much to him.  You mean a lot to… A lot of people. Liam’s gunna have a fit!” “He will.” I felt so at ease knowing that Harry’s nights would no longer be restless. I felt so relieved to know that he would no longer be screaming and tearing at his own skin. There had been times since we broke up where I’d stirred in the middle of the night in a state of panic, feeling like he was there with me, terror outlining every inch of his body, but then I’d see I was alone on the sofas in Mo’s flat, and I’d picture him alone, and it killed me. There was no one there to wake him up, and no one there to comfort him, no one to remind him of his reality. That had passed, and I was thankful for that. 122 “Are… Are you redecorating?” I asked, trailing into his flat behind him. “Um… I dunno.” He grumbled. His flat was a mess, just like it had been the last time I was there, but maybe even worse. The art was still down from the walls, clothes and dirty dishes littered everywhere, and you’d think it would be typical for a young lad to keep his apartment that way, but Harry had always kept the place spotless. It was so beautiful in there, it was a waste to let it be a mess. “Do you… Do you want some help tidying or anything?” I offered. “Nah, I’m good. I’ll sort it, don’t worry.” He smiled softly. I nodded, hoping that now things were looking up for him, he’d be able to get even the minor things back on track. He'd asked me to come up to his flat before I went to Mo’s, and I’d predicted it was because he’d found some more of my stuff that he wanted to pass over, but as I looked around, I couldn’t spot anything obvious. There were no bags, no items I recognised as my own. I watched him wander towards the kettle, remaining close to the door. “You wanna brew?” “Um, I’m okay, thanks.” I smiled. “Is everything alright? Have I… forgotten something?” “Uh, no. I just wanted to give you this.” He wandered back over to me as the kettle began to boil, and I noticed instantly that he was reaching around to the back of his neck, toying with the silver chain attached there. “No.” I shook my head, dropping my bag. “No, Harry, I want you to keep it.” “It’s yours. I bought it for you.” He stopped ahead of me, catching the chain in his large hands. “But-” “It served its purpose.” He nodded, reaching slowly to place it around my neck, and I shivered when his skin met mine. “It made me feel strong, and now I want to give that strength back to you. I think you need it.” I watched him silently as he concentrated on fiddling the silver chain and attaching it back around my neck, and all my hairs stood on end, the shakes of my body so minute that I was hoping he wouldn’t pick up on them. He let his eyes meet mine once it was attached, keeping one hand against the back of my neck, his fingers furrowing into my hair. “I’m so proud of you,” He continued. “For coming so far, and battling some of your demons. It’s been… amazing to see you get better. But I know you think you’ve still got… some stuff to work through, and whenever you’re… struggling, or feeling down, I want you to look at this necklace, and hold it, and remember that you are strong. You’re… one of the strongest people I know.” I wept, throwing myself forward to wrap my arms around him again, Harry shushing me, and for the first time since we’d split up, I think Harry finally had some form of understanding when it came to how I felt, and why I’d done what I had when I walked away from our relationship. Maybe he had an even deeper understanding than I did. I was feeling everything far too powerfully in that moment. It wasn’t the time to face my own feelings, because too much had happened over the past few days. When he looked at me like that, colours and feelings and touches were so vivid, that I felt everything else wash away. When he touched me, even in the most innocent way, I found the rest of my life falling apart, and it was just us. So I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him, thankful that he was so understanding of who I was, and how I felt, that he didn’t hate me when he had every single reason to. “I’m so sorry for putting you through this.” I mumbled. “I dragged you with me through all my ups and downs, and I’m sorry.” “Well, you’re worth it.” He replied, and for the first time, I believed fully, that he was telling the truth. I held him as tightly as I could, not wanting the moment to end, just wanting to stay there in his arms for as long as I could. I wanted to remember that feeling, what happened to me when his strong arms held me that way, like he didn’t want to let go either. My head was spinning. I didn’t know if it was just because we’d been so close over the past few days, or because I was literally questioning everything. Every move and decision I’d made stopped making sense. I pulled away hesitantly, Harry moving his hands on my waist, his face close to mine. He swallowed, licking over his lips, his grasp on my body tightening. “Fuck it.” He huffed. With those words, he put his lips on mine. I was tugging at his clothes as we stumbled together in our rush for one another, our mouths wide and tongues greeting, my heart beating out of my chest as he roamed one hand around to my back as the other raised upwards and scraped through my hair, my moans increasing. It felt so good to be kissing him again. I hadn’t realised how much I would miss and long for the feeling it gave me. It was otherworldly, nothing I had ever experienced before and never expected to feel again. It was something I didn’t even know a kiss could create until I kissed him, this feeling within the pit of my stomach that was like everything settled and stirred at the same time. It was addictive, like smoke within my lungs and whiskey upon my tongue. Every inch of life and love that I craved was trapped between our kiss then. He backed me up against the door in a hot rage, hands lost across my body as we worked together, desperate moans and whimpers escaping both of us, and then he moved his lips to my jaw. I lolled my head back, my eyes closed and my body heating as he grabbed at me, licking and kissing his way down to my neck. Then I felt him tugging at the bottom of my jumper, lifting the material high, attempting to undress me, and the very first thing that burst into my mind was the state of my wrist. “Harry…” I gasped. “Harry, stop.” Breathless, he pulled away from me, his chest heaving as he glared down to me, brows low and once more aching to figure me out, but he couldn’t. “What?” “We… We need to stop. I’m sorry.” “I… I don’t… Fuck.” He walked away from me, pacing his flat a little before he turned back around, and I just stood there, shy and withdrawn and hurting and wishing we could have continued, but knowing it would bring so much harm to him, it wasn’t worth it. “I’m sorry.” I trembled, tears filling my eyes. “Florence Daisy Valentine… You mean everything to me.” He marched back towards me, and I felt my heart shaking. “I love you so intensely… and… I understand, if you’re not ready for that. I understand, okay? And I don’t want you to feel guilty about it. But you can’t keep… pulling me close and then pushing me back out again! It’s killing me!” “Harry-” Suddenly I was sobbing. “It fucking… it kills me to get a taste of you again. I love you so fucking much, and you keep pushing me away-” “Harry, it’s not like that! I’m sorry, I just… I can’t-” “I need you to leave, I’m sorry.” I wanted to tell him so much that it wasn’t like that. I wanted to tell him I loved him and I’d do anything for him, but the words died before they’d even allowed themselves to be processed. I wanted to pull him close, in that moment more than ever, but I couldn’t let him see my wrist. There wasn’t a chance. I had no idea how to explain myself. “No, Harry, can we please talk about this-” “Please leave. Please. I need to get over you, and… I can’t. I can’t get over you like this. I’m sorry for kissing you-” “NO! Harry, please-” “-but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. It’s too much. I’m sorry, please leave. I can’t say goodbye to you again. I just can’t.” “I don’t want to say goodbye at all!” I fought, tears spilling down my cheeks. “If you’d just let me explain-” “THEN EXPLAIN!” He yelled. “Why did you stop me? Why?” “Because… I…” I tried to think of a decent enough lie, maybe about how it was too rushed and too sudden, but we’d both been completely lost in that moment. It should have reached that next level, I knew I wanted it to, and any lie I attempted about that, he wouldn’t believe. But I couldn’t tell him the truth. I couldn’t tell him what I was hiding from him. I knew I would have done anything to keep that information from him, and even when he was yelling at me, and angry at me, it felt worth it. And then I thought, once again, about how it really was best for me to step out of his life. I think he was right; I wasn’t ready for the love he wanted to give me. I wasn’t ready to drag him through more ups and downs that I was bound to experience, because I still hadn’t found my feet, I still hadn’t figured myself out. He waited for an answer that I couldn’t give. “I’m sorry, I love you, but I need to breathe.” He shuddered. “I need to fall out of love with you, and I… I’ve not let myself. Can you please leave? I’m sorry, but-” “Okay. I’m going. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything, Harry. I’m sorry. I fucked up, I’m sorry. I fuck everything up, I know I do.” “Don’t.” His chest collapsed, his heart breaking again. “You just… You need to figure yourself out, and I think we both know you need to do it without me.” “I thought I was with you for the wrong reasons, but now I don’t know! I don’t know fucking anything, I just keep fucking up.” I hid my face in my hands, sobbing relentlessly, and he fell silent, stood perfectly still and watching me weep. I’d never felt my stomach drop like that before. I felt so weak, and stupid. I hated it. I hated everything about it and everything we’d become. I didn’t lift my face from my hands to see him approach me, I only felt his arms around me, holding me and comforting me again even though I didn’t deserve it. Never had. “Take care of yourself, okay?” He whispered. “Stop putting yourself down. You’re more amazing than you’ll ever know.” He pulled away, and as quickly as I could I grabbed at the handle behind me, picking my bag back up, still sobbing as I wormed around the doorway and out into the hall, turning to look at him briefly, hating that I’d hurt him when all I wanted to do was love him. “I’m sorry.” I shivered one last time, looking at the pain within his eyes, before I slammed the door, and left.

[theredheadstory]

MY STORY (I): The Redhead behind The Redhead Story

Hi. Hallo. Ciao. Salut. Julia Bell here, founder and writer of The Redhead Story.

It’s wonderful to have you with me; thank you for tagging along as I am on my way to step it up a notch, pushing The Redhead Story to an actual brand level and launching my new, beautiful corner of the internet in just a few weeks’ time. (It’s anything but boring; no, not like this space here, I promise! It will be completely revamped! Eeek, I cannot wait to show you guys.)

Who’s so excited with me?

It’s such a big step with a lot of scary moments, but I am still here.

Now, I know that some of you have been tagging along for quite some time, having seen this blog space changed, tweaked, filled with my personal stories mostly. And I know that there are new faces following, too. That’s why I want to give you more; create more valuable insights and content for you, my readers. Ultimately, you are the engine of what I do.

This is the first entry of an 8-post website/brand pre-launch series called “MY STORY”.

I thought those few weeks before the actual website will be launched and The Redhead Story be presented in a new light would be the perfect time to reflect back on where I have started - just to see how far I have come. Also, since integrity is one of my main values and I always want to stay true to myself, with my personality shining through in everything I do (for the personal touch and approachability, which is super important to me), it might be just the perfect moment to share a little bit about myself. A good starting point for all of us.

Ready? Grab a cup of coffee (I have mine right next to me, with a splash of whole milk), light a candle if you want (I am smelling pumpkin spice right now, my leftover candle from fall, but never gets old), and sit back.

This is why I am who I am.  

A Lesson Learned

A German native, I grew up in a small town north of Hannover, where it’s flat, there are a lot of forests, and also wide open spaces with a lot of horses. Oh, and it’s super close to the North Sea. Going skiing in Austria and vacationing on Föhr (a dreamy North Frisian Island I love) have been my family's favorite annual things to do. And I didn’t complain.

When I was 16, I, for the very first time, felt this desire to go abroad.

It was this time when a handful of people from my high school went abroad for an exchange semester or year.

Combined with my love for languages - especially English -, and my parents’ support, I took the leap and jetted off to America for the very first time in my life, to stay with a host family I had never seen before; to go to a school I had never been to; and to experience a culture I had never immersed myself in. It.was.hard. 

But, spoiler alert: I had the time of my life.

My friends and host family (they are still part of my life and just recently flew out to attend my wedding here in San Diego, for which I am so absolutely thankful) were an integral part in my developing American love story.

Funny, how, now that I am married (expect more posts about how all that happened), the term “American love story” gets such a different meaning.

Then, upon my return home to Germany, I experienced an intense, reverse culture shock. I learned that people moved on without me, that I changed, and that some relationships are not meant to last forever. This living abroad experience should leave its mark on me forever. And I will forever be grateful for that opportunity that literally changed my outlook on life and brought me to where I am today.

As sad and intimidating as it was to see that some people were not who I thought they were, there was a greater lesson to be learned for me:

I’d learned how much more there was to this world. It sparked my fire for travel and new experiences, which has continued ever since.

From a Small Town Girl to a German Expat in London

Education furthered my travel bug. I finished high school. While working towards my Bachelor’s Degree in Germany for Political Science and American Studies, I continually hopped back to my previous host family in New York.

Then, London drew me in for my Masters.

I initially didn’t want to pursue my Masters degree but thinking of combining it with another study abroad experience just made so much sense. I saw this as an immense opportunity, both personally and professionally.

And so I started sending out applications. Goldsmiths College, University of London, is where I should be going; Political Communications it should be.

Fast forward, equipped with one suitcase and a carry on, I began a new adventure back in summer of 2013

While in the heart of the UK, I traversed Scotland, England and Ireland. I was over the moon with all these places I could explore so easily, as they were right at my fingertips.

With these red locks, I fit right in. (I always call specifically Scotland my spiritual home.)

It was my UK travels that launched this blog : The Redhead Story.

Fueled by a love of writing and need for a creative outlet, I began travel blogging to share my experiences. (I am a chatty little ginger, as my mom would say; this hasn’t changed throughout the years.)

As I poured in more energy, my skills and tools improved - like upgrading camera types and image styles (still a lot to learn in that realm, but already looking into a new camera now that a new website will be launching and high quality content is important to me). But that’s the beauty of life; both then and now, there’s always still so much room to grow.

This is also when I began writing for other blogs or even smaller travel brands.

By that time I already knew that this is something I want to do full-time at some point in life. But it seemed unreal. (And here I am now, just having wrapped up my full time job to focus on this little business, so near and dear to my heart.)

After graduation from my Masters, the next chapter was a mystery.  

How an Opportunity Landed Me as a Travel Blogger in California

I returned to Germany in late summer of 2014, deeply unhappy. I wasn’t sure where my life was going but one thing I knew for sure: I needed to be somewhere abroad. I started a job in a marketing firm but day-dreamed of packing my back and jetting off to the U.S. in hopes I would figure life out, or simply back to London. But we all know: both would have been quite costly in the long run.

A new year, and I joined the team at the German American Chamber of Commerce California. Working in their Cultural Exchange program was the melding of my life thus far : bilingual language skills, international collaborations and, specifically, working with the United States, a place so dear to my heart.

I still found myself in Germany but hey, at least I communicated with people from the U.S.

But life is a beautiful thing and even though I am a planner, not knowing what comes next can be quite thrilling.

Then, THE opportunity came : The chance to continue as a part of the organization in sunny San Diego.

It was an immediate YES.

How San Diego Travel Writing Has Empowered a Balanced, Healthy Lifestyle

It was a matter of about what - 3 weeks? And off I was, California bound. This was all so very unreal.

I arrived in San Diego. I had my a room lined up. I knew the office address. The rest was a blank piece of paper. I needed to write my story. More so: I had the opportunity to write it in a place I have never been but dreamed of going for so long.

Being here has fueled my desire to see more of this diverse country. It has given me so many other new opportunities I am so thankful for. It’s not all roses and butterflies, but since I set foot on California’s southernmost city’s soil, I found a base, a home. Certainly, meeting my adventure pal over here who I will be sharing life with from now on (a separate post about that is to follow) plays a huge role in that.

Ever since, I have relished my work, America’s Finest City and pursuing my travel writing.

Throughout my time in the UK, Germany and the States since, I’ve written for a variety of outlets, collaborating with various publications to create content that helps readers to truly experience a place.

Because traveling isn’t just about seeing a site. Traveling :

Expands your mind.

Is a process of personal growth.

Is my favorite way to achieve a balanced life.

With slow travel that is : Diving into one city or area for longer periods of time. Even if very active, it lets us slow down and gain appreciation for our surroundings.

Whether exploring the Arizona desert, hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park, or walking small towns in England, I also believe travel is the best way to internal reflection. Especially the more we can get outdoors. The chance to walk. To hike. To ride through a city by bicycle.

I’m passionate about seeing the world up close. Not from a car window. I love going slow, soaking it all in - reflecting.

As I continue life as a German expat in the U.S., I will continue writing, sharing stories of exploring my backyard, going on day and weekend trips, shorter and longer getaways in the U.S. and across borders.

A Journey of Traveling & Personal Growth

I invite you to join me on my very personal journey and see the world through my eyes. It is about personal growth - because that’s what exploring does to you: It changes your perspective on things, in a good way. It allows you to see a broader picture, interact with people, understand more.

By no means am I a travel expert, but I have one thing: passion. A passion for sharing personal experiences, creating my story and ultimately inspiring yours.

I hope the new The Redhead Story corner will be an inspiration for you and I am excited to hopefully hear more about your stories, about how exploring and “going out there - doesn’t matter where - has impacted your life and perspective on life and furthered personal growth.

Thank you for being part of this (life) adventure.

Because adventure is what you define for yourself.

I hope you got to know me a little better and understand where I am coming from. If you have any questions, I’d love to hear from you.

___________________________________________

The next post of my 8-post website & brand pre-launch series will be highlighting my approach to travel and how this has changed. Stay tuned!

Instagram // Twitter

[dalemeetsworld]

Chef Anthony Bourdain once said, "If you're young, physically fit, hungry to learn and be better, I urge you to travel- as far and as widely as possible. Sleep on floors if you have to. Find out how other people live and eat and cook. Learn from them wherever you go." Those words inspire me and impacted my whole being. I'm 25 and fortunate to have traveled the world and absorb what it has done to me. Through it, I realized that traveling is a better investment than more material things. Why? It's because there are so many life lessons you can learn from it. I can tell you some of my favorites.

1. IT IS OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

There is nothing more like diving out of your comfort zone to make you realize that you are a newbie in life no matter what your age is.

When I was younger, middle eastern countries used to be terrifying and scary to me. Maybe because the way these countries are portrayed by media can sometimes be negatively biased. But that has all changed when I visited Abu Dhabi and experience it first hand.

It's exhilarating to forget what's familiar for a bit and expand your horizons. Once you do, there is no better feeling than taking on unfamiliar territory and making it familiar. All it takes is pulling the trigger, and you'll come home with endless stories.

2. IT DE-STRESSES YOU

It helps us break our behavioural patterns when we feel like too many days look the same. It's also a great way to add a new dimension to your life, which makes the hustle bearable.

As cliche as it sounds, sometimes we don't know how to handle issues and what we want to do, until we step away from our family, friends, workmates and tune in to our inner voice. Travel gives you the space to just be you and think alone in a way you could never do back home. It's so much easier to deal with issues and solve problems when you look at them from the outside. It gives you a lot of time to think without destructions and make healthy decisions.

3. YOU GET TO TASTE DIFFERENT TYPES OF FOOD

Life is too short to eat the same type of food every single day. Imagine there's a book with thousands of pages and you read over and over the same first page never turning it once, that's how most people live their lives. I never thought that pelmini, sushi and kimchi would become some of my favorite dishes in the world until i tried them country to country. Try a restaurant serving ethnic food and avoid the touristic ones with equivalent food from home.

As a cook, I cannot go to a restaurant in a foreign country without mentally reverse engineering the food that I am eating. Many times your waiter will tell you the recipe. Afterwards, I try them out in my kitchen. Not only it gives me the pleasure of eating the food, but also helps me become a better cook.

4. IT IS A MORE ADVANCED FORM OF EDUCATION

Traveling is like condensed education. So many scales and new forms of interconnected knowledge merged together in a travel experience. It gives you a detail of insights whether about Geography, History, International events or even Language which others only study in school books. It makes you realize how much you don't know, and it opens your mind and broads your perspective. These absorbed information will stick around a lot longer than what you learn from school. After all, experience is the best teacher of all.

5. YOU MEET NEW PEOPLE

The best part of traveling is the people you meet along the way. I've found out that it is extremely rare to come across another traveler who isn't eager to hear your stories, where you've been, or where did you come from. You listen to their stories, tell yours, share the same interests, hear various opinions and experience things together with people.

Some of my favorite friendships are the ones I found from traveling. To name a few: with a Mexican guy called Arnold and a Danish old man named Ben. During a carnival in Veracruz, a man named Arnold approached me and asked stuff about my camera, turns out he is a blogger from Tampico who came to celebrate the carnival. He gave me a liter of local beer and took me to his group of friends and partied all night. The other one is with Ben, who offered me a lift to Esbjerg downtown because he was worried that I'd be walking longer than i thought. And the list goes on. Who would have thought that simple situations like these help you build relationships that would last a lifetime.

It is a beautiful thing to say that you're friends with people around the planet.

6. YOU START TO UNDERSTAND OTHER CULTURES

Living somewhere completely different gives you a new perspective that's different from just hearing or reading about it. People fear what they don't know or don't understand. Just because someone lives in another geography than you do, their skin color is different, and they believe different religion than you, it doesn't mean they don't share the same emotions. When you travel, you'll find that most people are good and welcoming, and they'll share with you what they have in order to make you feel good.

The act of being somewhere new allows you to fully immerse yourself and appreciate that new place, from the people, the language, the clothing, and everything in between. Taking the time to interact with the local culture is the way to experience and appreciate it fully. Again, this can't be taught, only experienced.

7. YOU'RE EXPOSED TO NEW IDEAS

Whether you are staring at a menu realizing you have no idea what the items are, or jumping on a bus that you hope will get you somewhere familiar, traveling is exciting. It forces you to do new things, and it's gonna be easy after the first couple of times which eventually makes you learn the system. Being in new territory will probe new ideas and curiosities- what the local customs are, the local food, what language is spoken and religious practices. It gives you a better understanding, and therefore turning these curiosities into discoveries. This will then make you hungry to learn more, ask questions and completely immerse yourself into a new place.

8. IT MAKES YOU MORE INDEPENDENT

One goal in life is to be independent. Meaning, if it comes to it, you're own set of tools is enough to keep you going. Most parents are overprotective and do not allow their children to face the hardships in life until it's too late. You grow up in a bubble, and the reality hits you like a brick on the face. When you travel, you will learn one of life's most important skills, self reliance.

I remember the first time I visited Venice, I was alone by myself, only got 2 euros in my pocket (I had enough cash but in a different currency which isn't acceptable in the local area), without an internet connection and even got lost, since the city was pretty sketchy. It didn't bother me. Instead, you'll find it more valuable. Nothing like being lost in Venice where every corner has beautiful little bridges that serves you a very peaceful view. One's paddling the Gondola, while some walks slowly and taking their time, with their eyes mesmerized. You have to trust yourself and understand that life's circumstances aren't bad at all and sometimes it'll lead you to somewhere even more beautiful.

9. IT FORCES YOU TO BE MORE SOCIAL

People says we're always connected because of how technology develops. But a digital world is an invisible world. Sometimes, people lack of personality because they no longer go out to form one. Due to our indoor existence, we are forming our personalities based on almost the same type of pattern provided on the internet, until we become products of what companies wants us to be. When we travel, we get to have real life conversations, talking to people we don't know and learning from them. Our connection should be invested in real people, from our neighborhood to the world.

10. THERE WILL BE NO MORE WARS

It's only when you travel that you will realize how big and diverse our world really is, but also how similar we are as one people. What if world war III would happen. The people that will be harmed are the people you became friends with, the people you met in the cafe, or in carnival, people who gave you a lift, gave you recipes, people who smiled at you on the streets, or the receptionists who are very courteous, the children you saw on their way to school because they have dreams. You will realize it's never going to be okay to see them injured or get killed. I think, even world leaders would feel the same.

People are our most treasured gifts in this life. Go meet them. Let them see we are all one too. If we could do that, we can change the world. One traveling peace maker at a time.

[hetmusic]

Q&A with O-SHiN | HumanHuman

Discovered by HighClouds five months ago, the Swedish artist O-SHiN quickly grabbed the attention of our users here at HumanHuman and became a Promising Discovery about a month ago. Not only is the music in itself unique and beguiling, with a plethora of strange, exotic sounds that you can scarcely lay a finger on, but the story behind its creation is also one to take note of.

A couple of years ago, O-SHiN took to the Swedish countryside with five friends for a summer of seclusion, immersion in nature and experimentation with a range of unusual instruments found in the barn next to the cabin where the group were staying. What emerged was songs like “A Revelation” and “Walking On Water” that feature recordings from this time in the cabin, and later were completed in O-SHiN current home in Berlin. Each of her songs offer up a new version of her appreciation for life, for nature, for the organic world around us. That’s exactly why, with just two songs in the public sphere, that our community of new music enthusiasts have picked up on this great discovery.

Here we ask O-SHiN about time in the cabin, her current music, playing live and plans for 2018.

Happy New Year O-SHiN! What do you have planned for 2018?

Hello and thank you for having me. 2018 started already great. I am writing to you from Gran Canaria where I am shooting a visual EP. This means I am going to release six songs in Spring 2018. Also, I am very excited to let you know that I finished 2017 with my first O-SHiN live show and I’ve just done another one [Monday 15th January]! My wish for the year is to share my music not only online but on stage as much as possible.

It was only three months ago that we were introduced to your music via debut “A Revelation”, although the project really began in 2015 in a cabin in the Swedish countryside. Can you recall that time in your own words?

Yes, it took a long time to get the music really the way I wanted it to be. I see it like a good wine that needs to ripen.

Everything started literally in the woods where we just enjoyed living so close to nature and experimenting without any boundaries. I invited my friends from the Netherlands - who are also my musicians - over and we just made music and sounds day and night.

Have you returned to that cabin or to another nature saturated location since?

No, I haven’t yet. But it is my dream to go back there and record my full album.

The unusual amalgamation of strange instruments and field recordings features on both of your tracks “A Revelation” and “Walking Water”. Did you carry on using any of those instruments back in Berlin?

All of the songs that are going to be on my EP carry this sound. I am always looking for these kind of instruments and vibes, no matter if I am in Berlin or somewhere else. I also want to create the same vibe on stage, which is quite a challenge. But I think we’ve come pretty far.

Do you think that the city has also shaped your music?

Definitely. The city has brought more structure to my tracks which had been very experimental. I love experimental stuff but I still want the listener to follow and not get overwhelmed. This feeling is very personal though, but I think it worked well so far.

I suppose there’s a prominent contrast of organic sounds and digital production through the songs. Is this contrast of textures - the old and new; the far and near; the different and familiar - essential to your sound?

Yes, I am a lover for old times, second hand, and vintage stuff - basically in everything - clothes, furniture, music.... I love it when things are not new but put into a new context, which makes it feel kinda new. It was my concept from the beginning, to use mainly organic sounds, but arrange it in a modern/electronic way. Even if something sounds electronic to you most of the time it is some weird organic sound we recorded somewhere.

What else would you say lies at the heart of your music?

Next to the organic aspect you will hear influences from different cultures. I am very open to influences from world music. You will hear Asian harmonies and also I am in love with Indian music, not only the instruments, but also the way India has developed their own music - they hear even more notes than we can hear. To study that makes it very exciting to me. Recently I travelled to Africa, there is a big chance you will hear that in the songs I am going to write in 2018.

Are there any fellow creatives, whether musicians, artists, photographers, performers, producers etc., that you really relate to? And what is it about them in particular?

Oh yeah for sure. Besides the great people I work with I am really inspired by Dutch photographer Sanja Marusic.

Funny thing though, about five years ago I asked her to do a shoot for my music. Turned out to be a big disaster. She somehow decided to dislike me. The vibe was really bad and the pictures that were done, were unloving. I still don’t know why she wouldn’t like me, but nevertheless I admire her work and it inspires me visually.

Another woman I really look up to is the French singer Camille. She is a true artist. She is one of the reasons I started making music and she has been something like my role model to me. She makes music without being bound to any limits.

In the cabin, you were surrounded by other musicians, so clearly that creative environment and collaboration is important to you. Is there anyone you’d really love to work with on a song?

In the cabin I was surrounded by three musicians, one friend who took the role of sound technician and another friend who was filming and documenting the week. Yes, collaboration became very important to me. I used to do everything on my own, but once I understood the beauty of letting another creative mind add something to my ideas I never wanted to go back.

One person I would really like to work with is Kieran Hebden - better know as Four Tet. His latest album has been my favourite album of 2017.

You said of second single “Walking Walking” that “It’s about taking risks, even if it seems crazy. It’s about believing the impossible can happen.” Is that a belief you apply to your own life?

Yes, I guess so. I really like to dare myself and stretch my limits. If I have an idea I am really convinced by I just do everything to make it happen. I don’t want to live only in my comfort zone, even if it’s scary sometimes.

As mentioned before, you recently had a show at Berlin’s Baketown Studio, for those of us unlucky enough to miss out on that, how would you describe your live show?

I have a really great band and we are playing basically all you hear on the records live. There is no backing tracks and no loops. Therefore, we had to build our own drum kit, which is basically a massive percussion tree with many different things to hit on and two people are playing it. If I am lucky enough I find a upright bass player who joins us for the gig, like last time. With so many people there is a whole bunch of energy coming, while the music is still intimate and emotional. You will find yourself looking from one musician to the other trying to figure out who is playing what and even though it is no party music - your feet will move.

Last year, you also performed at Berlin’s Auster Club to celebrate Indie Femininity alongside fellow HumanHuman favourites Melis and Jinka. How was the show?

This was my first concert and it was a great start. I really wanted to finish the year with making the first steps of bringing the music alive on stage before the year ended. It was a tough task since I had to form my band first. In the end everything worked out better than expected.

How do you view the current industry and its relation to women in music? Is there anything you’d like to see change or continue to improve upon in 2018?

The Guardian released an article in 2017 saying most live bands are mainly male. I have to agree I work mainly with male musicians, producers, managers, A&Rs, photographers… personally, I don’t have a problem with it, maybe because I grew up with only brothers. I guess I haven’t even learned how to work with females, just because all my colleagues are male and I really appreciate them and they appreciate me. I believe we still don’t have enough female role models to inspire the younger generation, but we are growing.

Will you be doing anything to celebrate International Women’s Day on March 8th?

Honestly no. I don’t celebrate any of those international days :P I also don’t care about my birthday and if it was about me I would not need to celebrate Christmas the way we do it. To me everyday is a day to celebrate already.

Of course, what we really want to know is… can we expect new O-SHiN listening in the near future?

YESSS! I have a bunch of songs ready. Expect my next single in February and the EP in the Spring. Thank you so much for your interest in my music!

https://humanhuman.com/articles/interview-with-o-shin

[adventurouskiwi]

Norway

Every time I talk to someone about my time in Norway I get emotional. It's such an indescribable feeling to be on this current high. I have so much gratitude. I can't write about this without being filled with so many overwhelming emotions. This year has been a roller coaster but I wouldn't trade any moment for anything. I have gone from complete isolation and a dream job in the hills of Vinstra only surrounded by animals, to my first van trip which ended up being a lot tougher than I imagined. On new years I watched the fireworks from a rooftop in Oslo with a bunch of deep strangers. I spent some hard weeks looking for a job in Oslo and battling through one of my lowest mental points. Then I traveled North to start an awesome new job and met more great people and animals. I got to show my parents this country with all the pride a person can feel and now I face some very hard goodbyes which just cement how much of my heart this country has. I feel so damn lucky right now, I have just had the craziest year and am ending on an incredible high. I'm unsure how things got this good for me, it all feels very dreamlike. Extremely sad to be leaving this beautiful place but my heart is as full as can be. I am sitting here writing this at 11:30 pm with the most beautiful pink mountains out my window and a sky that never goes dark. I just can't believe this is my life; this has been my life, this is what I made it. This one might be a bit of a read but I want to get everything on the page so I never forget it. So I remember in hard times to come, how bloody special life is.

Norway. The place of grass roofed wooden houses, of picturesque fjords and vast valleys. Where people are quiet but friendly and hard to meet. The place of overpriced chocolate but pancakes for dinner. Where getting drunk takes on a new meaning and everyone stays living where they were born. The place where Winter is as real as it gets with snow stories thick. Where you learn that anything below negative 10 degrees is just fucking cold and frozen hay bales become your worst nightmare. Where the sun controls how you feel, keeping you awake in the summer and something you yearn for in the winter. It's untouched beauty, small cities and summer cabins in the middle of nowhere. Where everyone has a good quality of life and don't quite realize how lucky they are. Where farms have 20 cows, each with a name and farm dogs that sleep on your bed. The place you need winter tires to drive on roads encased by 3 meter tall snow walls. Where reindeer are feral and farm animals roam free in the summer. Land that comes with surprises at every turn and a hike into the mountains is as accessible as walking out your front door. A country you feel safe enough in to leave your car running while you do your grocery shop and where you don't think twice about spending the night alone in the mountains. There are so many amazing qualities of this country and I am so glad I have been immersed in it for the last 12 months. It would be fucking hard to find a place to beat this.

In the summer I would drive the tractor to the very end of a gravel road in the middle of the mountains where my little log cabin with a fire heated spa on the deck awaited. Surrounded by only mountains and animals and experiencing the most happiness I've ever known. Being able to step outside and venture into the mountains almost daily made me think I had found one of the most perfect spots in the world. My dogs would come everywhere with me, whether it was to the grocery store or on a 3 hour road trip to one of our many hikes. Road trips that always filled me with awe as the most breathtaking scenes were found literally around every bend. Then painting murals in the animal shed as I consumed far too many energy drinks and wondering how the fuck I was being paid to do something I loved so much.  When winter came so did darkness but with more beauty then I can describe. A van trip that pushed me more than ever before, one that brought new lessons as I climbed new peaks. The emotions of witnessing the aurora which is by far the most magical thing I've ever witnessed. Countless nights staying awake as my fingers went numb, waiting to see if the sky would come alive. Moving North to old cute stables where I would greet 20 horses in the morning and put them out in the snow. Where you could chuck some snow shoes on and walk into the mountains to find a lake, ready to drill a hole in and go ice fishing. Where bonfires with burnt sausages became a common activity and at night I'd walk outside to watch a dancing sky as my fingers went numb. Meeting travelers from around the world to trade stories with and if they were brave enough, to get in the arctic waters with. Riding beautiful warmbloods in the snow and chatting to friendly horse owners as we watched the most picturesque sunsets. Going running beside the water in such cold temps that my body would be numb, giving me the ability to run further than I'd expect. Waking up to scenes that some people don't even know exist, unsure of how I'd become this lucky.

My little mate Tussi, she deserves her own paragraph. Fuck, she deserves her own book. That dog has been an overwhelmingly precious part of Norway. I can't begin to think of what this year would have looked like without her. She has been there in my hardest times and she has joined me for almost every peak, usually just the two of us, stunned every time by what our eyes were seeing. We became inseparable from the beginning and there was no where I would go without her. I didn't know a dog could become so much of me but she has really been more than I can explain. I hope that I remember every quirky thing about her (and her little tongue). How much she made me laugh, how she stuck by my side wherever we went. She came fishing with me, hiking, camping, skiing and gave me cold night van snuggles when my mood was low. That dog touches every one she meets. Always so excited to get in my car and was so gentle when meeting new people but explosive when she knew you. The biggest attention seeker ever but full of an unmatched amount of love. So many of my moments were shared with her and made better by her being there. I got so incredibly lucky to find myself on a farm with such a precious dog that very quickly became the best shadow. I'm so grateful I will get to spend my last few days with her and although leaving her is fucking hard, she is in a home full of so much love and a place I know will always be my home too. I only wish she knew what she has done and meant for me over the last year.

When I hopped on that plane 1 year ago I had little expectations and just a big yearning for adventure. Well that was the best decision I could have made because fuck it's been a good ride. I have experienced 4 crazy seasons, been left speechless by the northern lights, unable to sleep by the midnight sun, ridden in snow, skied and camped on beautiful mountains, surfed in the arctic waters, fallen in love with every animal I've met, gone on so many road trips, painted numerous murals and just lived. This is it, this is life and it's fucking incredible. I feel like this year has it's own little place in my heart. I cant believe the amount of pinch me moments I have experienced. To wake up almost every day with an unbelievable view no matter where I am. To feel so happy in these vast mountains but to learn my limit of time alone. I've pushed myself in new ways and now have a whole new relationship with my brain. I mean, I'm a couple of glasses of wine deep and reminiscing the shit out of the last 12 months right now but I couldn't be happier or thinking more positively. To leave a place when I'm at my highest point just leaves me so grateful to be alive, so grateful to be able to do the things that I've done, to have had all these new experiences. I can't wait to go home, to see all my favourite people and to return the best version of me yet. I can't wait to create fresh dreams and to continue growing. Last time I travelled I felt like I grew but this is something completely different, now I feel like I know my place in the world, like I know who I am and I belong here. I'm fucking ready to spread every ounce of positivity I have and to see just how much more I can achieve. I have a good sense in how I want to live my life and the level of experiences I can have. Norway has opened new doors of possibilities in my brain. I want to remember this, I want to get this down in words as best I can, I want to remind myself in the future that life is what you make it and these euphoric moments exist. I want to continue being fearless when chasing any crazy dream my brain can imagine, because fuck living any other way. I want to remember it all, to pack it into a snow globe and be able to return to this exact feeling every time I shake it. Norway, the land of so much more than any words I could write.