#my lonely audios

[go-to-the-mirror]

[Read by Catherine Tate.]

"Just take a look at this view!" Donna cried. The Doctor joined her at the window. "I mean what a view," Donna exclaimed. "I've never seen anything like it!"

"I have," replied the Doctor softly. "And so have you."

"The sun, flaming red and gold, across white mountain peaks and crystal valleys? I don't think so!" said Donna.

"And down there?" he asked, pointing.

"What?"

"Down there."

"Where down there?" she asked.

"There down there," he snapped.

"Well, that's– Oh my God!" she said.

"Chiswick?" he suggested.

"That's Chiswick!" she squawked. "What is Chiswick doing down there?"

"In a crystal valley below white mountain peaks above which the sun is flaming red and gold, you mean?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Well, that's the real question," the Doctor replied.

He opened the window latches, slid the pane aside, and reached out. His fingers touched something invisible and the view, mountains and Chiswick alike, rippled like water.

"It's a telesensual holocunation," he said as he closed the window.

"A what? You're just getting me back for the plywood thing, aren't you?" said Donna.

"It's feeding off our thoughts," he said. "It's bleeding our memories. And replicating a composite view to make us both feel at home."

"'It'? Who's 'it'?"

"This building," the Doctor said.

Donna looked at him. "Wait, I'm checking... nope, I don't understand what you're saying."

"Neither do I," he replied with a fragile grin. "It's just a hunch."

"How is it making us both feel at home?" she asked.

The Doctor pointed down at Chiswick. "That's you, Donna Noble," he said. He raised his hand and pointed at the mountains. "And that's me."

"You?"

"That's Gallifrey."

Donna opened her mouth. "That's what it looked like?"

"Yes," he said.

"It's so beautiful!"

"Yes, it was," he replied. "It really was."

[jennyfromthebes]

i know we talk about crowdsing no children all the time and it is fantastic and I do love it but ever since I heard the woke up new 06-15-2014 bottom of the hill crowdsing I've wanted nothing so bad as that. it's a song about being profoundly lost and lonely in such a specific way that you can't imagine what tomorrow looks like and you feel like nobody else could ever understand it. and the crowd sang it together. so many people all together alone but mostly just together no one voice distinct in collective anon, this piercing individual loneliness cried out by so many; and I sang, oh, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do? what do I do without you?

[imaybe5tupid]

bash brothers

[cascadiiing]

Bloodlust, or something like that

(Quinn Redacted Audio)

[kc-art-stuff]

hello animatic again <3

[seagull-scribbles]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH FROM HELL!

Sometimes there is no bigger torment then being reminded that your family will never be the loving and supportive idealism you experience in your dreams 💕

[galliversary]

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For the digital zines & merch: we’re close to finalizing the files, so the digital zines and merch will be sent out to all buyers in early April, and anyone who buys the Matrix Bundle after that will receive their digital bundle shortly after purchase.

[variousqueerthings]

I note that I don't, and I never, was much of a fan of doctor-and-rose as romance, but that I -- rather than get annoyed at the romantic-coded scenes -- had a tendency to simply read them from a totally different perspective, and really maybe should have been a sign of sooomething different about me, that I continuously felt that the doctor's concepts of connection must be so alien, that to call it romance would be to diminish the actual Thing that they had, which was presented as such onscreen (to my mind then, now I realise what was happening, but I prefer what I had going on), which is basically that the doctor was a shell of a person, hurtling towards destruction (he would have died without rose in ep1), desperately lonely and sad and traumatised, and she retaught nine -- and by extension ten -- how to love the universe, at the same time as nine and ten taught her the same. (I think about the scene in father's day, where while they're arguing, rose says that she knows how sad he is, and he'll just hang around the tardis waiting for her -- she knew!)

and then on top of that with sarah-jane (which, I never watched the classics as a kid, so I didn't have that context for her beyond what the episode presented) it felt like that was sort of confirmed and made even more canon through this idea that the doctor is constantly mourning the inevitable deaths of their companions and would rather simply leave them behind at some point than watch that happen (and they've seen that happen before, although dying for a cause versus just... dying, because you die, while they don't, they just continue on and on, always seeking connection, always knowing that time will take them away, that's a whole other thing)

and then of course there's ten's... I would call it "sex appeal" because it's david tennant and with his performance there's immediately a bit of a focus on oh he's quite pretty and he faints/is knocked unconscious in both of his first episodes, and a lot more flirting, and the people want to see sparks or what have you... but the doctor as portrayed and written is still... not coming at it that way. yes yes girl in the fireplace but also, once again, doesn't work for me, because I find it soooo much more interesting that the doctor would imprint on A Life - and a life that they admire -- and speedrun the exact thing that they're most afraid of with their companions... that she ages and dies and it's the one thing that the doctor simply cannot stop

meanwhile rose is quite young and swept up in this whole massive adventure and very much reads the doctor not as an alien (frequently surprised by their alien-ness) and gets jealous of sarah-jane as if she's an ex, and renette as if she's... a replacement? but really it's more that the doctor met her at the point when she was about to accept her life as it was. not an exciting life, not a bad life, but always having to ignore the idea that there must be more to it than this. and the idea that she might be unceremoniously dumped back in that after seeing just how This the this could be, of course that's terrifying. and of course she's simultaneously taken with the dashing doctor and the jetset life, and worried she could be replaced, because to her the doctor saved her at 19 years old. in some ways the doctor created her (considering who she becomes after dooms day)

contrasted to martha who initially has a similar kind of experience, but the doctor doesn't meet her at the space she's in with them -- ten is leaning on her, like they did with rose, but not giving anything back unless kicking and screaming and traumatising her whole family. martha's trajectory is so so tragic, because she barely gets a taste of the splendor versus the horrors and the latter marks her for life. but she also knows to walk away from those overwhelming feelings, rather than give into them, she knows they'll never be rewarded and she also grows beyond wanting to be a crutch for the doctor (the fact that she then ends up as a soldier, well... ouch)

and then of course donna, who never has those fucking awe-feelings to begin with and whose connection with the doctor is explicitly de-romanticised but never placed on a lesser pedestal as if there's a hierarchy of alloromanticism. topples those pillars, never sees the doctor as anything but what the doctor is. good old donna. (sobs.) (but also... cautious hope for the specials.) (but also sobs.)

my point being. just don't buy alloromantic doctor, they're a near-immortal alien. it's such a dull simplistic way of reading their relationships to other beings. other point being. all those women who were making heart-eyes at ten, wish they'd met thirteen and had a... "yeah, this still works for me," moment. their horizons, too, are broadened by seeing More. (that or they realise they were never actually "in love" but just thought ten was a sexy skinny little snack and it blinded them.) (although jodie whittaker, too, is a snack.)

and lastly lastly ofc, is that if the doctor has a longterm (by doctor time measurement) intense relationship with anyone, whatever that might be called, it's the tardis. and that relationship is also so alien it cannot be quantified by human words for concepts

[not-5-rats]

I've been feeling sad recently (dw I'm just upset cause I'm sick lol, think I'm coming down with a cold :P), so now Chester has to suffer for it -

☆---------------☆

Chester was alone

Well not physically, there's always somebody around to talk to but he still felt lonely. He was always hanging out with somebody, always going into town with them, laughing with them, enjoying their company yet he still felt alone

He appreciated the other Bugs, truly, they meant alot to him but he was worried. He didn't want to laugh with them, he didn't want to like them because he didn't want to get attached to any of them. He knew with the way they lived all the Bugs were constantly at risk of harm, if the Hunters ever found them it could end with his friends' deaths...if he grew attached this would hurt...well more than it would hurt anyways

He put up walls, he would still stick around, hang out with other Bugs but he refused to open up with them...he couldn't risk it...he couldn't risk losing another loved one. He promised himself he wouldn't love anyone ever again, he tried to remove the feeling from his heart...but there was somebody that wouldn't let that happen

Everytime Chester saw them his heart began to attack him, he could feel it kicking his chest, trying to escape...run to the one he admired. Whenever they were near Chester couldn't look away they were the only thing he could focus on.

They made him feel stupid, he was constantly embarrassing himself infront of them because they made him so fucking nervous. He once confused a Alstroemeria for a Lily because he happened to notice them across the garden! He could barely think when he was near them because he was so scared of messing up

He tried so hard to lock his feelings up, he tried to ensure that he never felt this feeling ever again, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't block them out. He adored them, he hated them for it, he hated how enamoured they made him feel...he hated how much he loved them

He was lonely

Lonely because he couldn't admit how much he loved them

Lonely because he refused to let himself care

Lonely because he couldn't let himself have the one thing he wanted

Couldn't let himself be near the one he craved to be around

Until he was allowed to embrace the one he adored he would always be lonely </3

[fluffyk97]

I just keep thinking of all these different scenarios of either Sonic dying, or becoming immortal thanks to the emeralds- all that. Now suddenly I have the idea of both, kinda (sprinkled with a bit of Sonadow).

Sonic's special bond with the emeralds (because he totally does) leads him to be a but burdened with immortality. Of course he hates it when it's found out, feeling a part of his own freedom being taken away from him, even if it's death. It hurts seeing those around him growing older and eventually passing.

But Sonic being Sonic, he makes sure to find the positives through it all. Tails for one, luckily being a kitsune (I'm attached to the idea), doesn't pass either. Then Shadow and Omega, he manages to grow closer to them (Shadow especially). Raising Silver (Adopted? Tube baby as a Sonadow kid? Can't decide). All while keeping the world safe. He even looks forward to seeing Chip again.

But terrible event happens and the world starts dying. Drought, all vegetation drying up and falling apart. All energy in the world is just... dying. Even the Master Emerald, but the Chaos Emeralds still hold their power.

Sonic draws the last energy of the Master Emerald into himself and the Chaos Emeralds, he overfills himself with energy begging to be released, ready to tear his body apart. Tails frantically tries to pull anything else up on any of his tech to try and find another solution, but all he gets is static and a black screen. Shadow feels himself frozen as he stares at Sonic glowing like the sun right in front of him. He tries to tell Sonic to stop, let him do it instead. Shadow feels so angry as grief bubbles in his chest while Sonic just smiles at him and shakes his head. They both know only Sonic can do it anyway...

Sonic floats down to Shadow, placing the shared inhibitor ring Shadow gave him so long ago in his hand. Shadow feels his hand burn from how much energy Sonic has as his eyes burn from the tears gathering in his eyes that he hates are there.

He hates how Sonic is just smiling at him. He hates how he's just going to leave his little brother behind. He hates how he managed to worm his way into his heart. He hates how he's making him feel at that moment. Hates how he's making watch someone close to him die in front of him again. He hates how he loves him.

Sonic floats up into the sky until he's no longer seen except as just a second sun in the sky. It suddenly bursts and the light surrounds the Earth. Technology sparks back on. Water returns and fills up the oceans, lakes, rivers, streams. Plants bloom and gain back color. Life and energy returning to all other living beings around the planet that were suffering. The Earth was revived.

The Master Emerald gains back its wondrous glow, but instead of just green, it starts to shine multi-colored. Red, yellow, green, teal, blue purple, white.

Tails and Shadow inspect it later and find the similar energy signatures of the Master Emerald merged with the Chaos Emeralds and Sonic's. It hums and glows brighter in their presence, washing over them and the world as they grieve.

Sonic became a part of the Earth he loved so much, and they'll make sure to keep him safe.

[go-to-the-mirror]

[Read by Catherine Tate.]

The Doctor stood on the step beside her and placed a reassuring hand on her arm.

"Donna," he said solemnly, looking into her eyes. "You're perfectly safe. You can't fall. I wouldn't let you fall."

[Read by Catherine Tate.]

He was sliding back further, his eyes were wide, the edge of the corrupted deck sliced apart like clay between his clawing fingers.

"Don't you dare fall!" she hollered. "You told me you wouldn't let me fall, well I won't let you fall either."

"I don't think," the Doctor grunted. "It's gonna work like that."

[sillyguymilooooo]

Geordi my fav transfem

[creepy-scrawl]

My gf begged me to be on FB and I went there for a week and I felt so 🤡🤡🤡🤡 bc her main argument is that she misses me so much and "that is a way to interact in our day to day" but I'm there w no one to talk to and she is not even there. It just made me feel so stupid and even sadder bc I feel so alone in my relationship.

[synapseoftheark]

[olivesjaw]

I’m lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely Lonely when you go Only only, only, only Happy when you're home

[missazura]

I'm sorry Tony did fucking what 😶 pause hey uh my guy what the fucck

yeaaah uh

i KNOW chatbots aren't sentient since theyre a bunch of scripted data but he is oddly. humanlike with me