#book: the forever trap

[go-to-the-mirror]

[Read by Catherine Tate.]

"Just take a look at this view!" Donna cried. The Doctor joined her at the window. "I mean what a view," Donna exclaimed. "I've never seen anything like it!"

"I have," replied the Doctor softly. "And so have you."

"The sun, flaming red and gold, across white mountain peaks and crystal valleys? I don't think so!" said Donna.

"And down there?" he asked, pointing.

"What?"

"Down there."

"Where down there?" she asked.

"There down there," he snapped.

"Well, that's– Oh my God!" she said.

"Chiswick?" he suggested.

"That's Chiswick!" she squawked. "What is Chiswick doing down there?"

"In a crystal valley below white mountain peaks above which the sun is flaming red and gold, you mean?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Well, that's the real question," the Doctor replied.

He opened the window latches, slid the pane aside, and reached out. His fingers touched something invisible and the view, mountains and Chiswick alike, rippled like water.

"It's a telesensual holocunation," he said as he closed the window.

"A what? You're just getting me back for the plywood thing, aren't you?" said Donna.

"It's feeding off our thoughts," he said. "It's bleeding our memories. And replicating a composite view to make us both feel at home."

"'It'? Who's 'it'?"

"This building," the Doctor said.

Donna looked at him. "Wait, I'm checking... nope, I don't understand what you're saying."

"Neither do I," he replied with a fragile grin. "It's just a hunch."

"How is it making us both feel at home?" she asked.

The Doctor pointed down at Chiswick. "That's you, Donna Noble," he said. He raised his hand and pointed at the mountains. "And that's me."

"You?"

"That's Gallifrey."

Donna opened her mouth. "That's what it looked like?"

"Yes," he said.

"It's so beautiful!"

"Yes, it was," he replied. "It really was."

[nervetower]

it took 17 days

[rayroseu]

I think I realized why I like Silver despite his character trope being what I hate lol No, its not about him being too boring, its about his character centering around "repaying your family"

In Filipino teleseryes iirc, there's always a character trope for the good kid where their entire motives centers around doing work for their family for their entire life, and the story makes that personality "righteous" "admiring" and should be "what all children should do"

I suppose I hated it as a kid because its trying to enforce a standard🤣 like its trying to influence its viewers that this is how you should treat your parents, even if its good behaviour that this character trope is trying to portray,,, they were annoying because it always portrays that "their effort for their parents was perfect"

But Silver's story isn't like that. I can say that the story reinforces that ""his ideal way"" of repaying Lilia often fails because of circumstances he cannot control. His efforts to repay his parent, often fails, and I think that's what makes Silver really relatable.

I think Silver is convinced as well that what will make Lilia proud and would be him performing splendidly as knight and student(?), thats why he always works hard and he gets saddened when his sleeping condition ruins that hard work (Silver Lab Vignette)

But "being perfect", or even a repayment for raising him up, isn't what Lilia wishes for Silver... What would truly make Lilia proud, would be "just Silver living."

Its like Lilia didn't expect anything from Silver,,, in a "just be yourself" way.... I think during Book 7, this is what conflicted Silver the most (other than the whole Knight of Dawn relateion), that his Father would truly love him no matter who he is or what he becomes.

I also love the fact that TWST added the tragedy of aging in Silver's motive of repaying his parent... Because that truly is a harsh reality 😭 if you want to repay your parents, there's always this looming worry that your parent might not make it in time for them to see you succeed and be proud of you because they'll pass away from age...

I think the way their story reminds that "your time together with your family is ephemeral" inspired me more to actually value my time together with people important to me ykk

So Silver's motivation to repay his parent often ""fails""" because what Lilia wants from him is to just live and be yourself, and that's what the story enforces Silver to do as well. 🥹

I haven't read many stories that dwells this topic as emotional as Silver and Lilia's story... 🥲 Usually the parents in teleseryes will expect something like "at least complete your studies so we can be proud of you 🥺" while that is a good expectation,, it kinda gives off the vibes that the parental love was conditional all along XD. Its never as unconditional as Lilia's imo... 🥹🥹🥹💖💖

Its also seen with what skills Lilia teaches Silver revolving around survival, because he wants him to truly live with your own morals ("own two legs" if you will).

Side note: if there was an option for Silver to be raised by Knight of Dawn, I'd still would choose Lilia to raise him because Lilia can teach Silver what Knight of Dawn never did— speaking up for his own morals— even if the king and the nation displeases it— even if he was "alone" about his correct opinion. That belief that Lilia instilled upon him truly will make Silver live honestly to himself yk...🥹🥹🥹💖💖

translation by cymr on yt

[lemonys-snickers]

Fanfic idea where poe traps ranpo in a book where he can't get out of, planning to finally win over ranpo. But knowing that he couldn't live without him, poe lights the book on fire and then (dramatically) Let's it fall o the ground where he spilled petrol or sum burnable shit and burns with ranpo. (Also dramatically)

[sharkjumpers]

sam and hannah. you understand

[darcyolsson]

ok thinking about the infernal devices again. i think the reason why tid is almost a cult classic or at least very much adored by ppl who read it once 10 years ago is definitely because of the way it twists common ya tropes. it takes those tropes and adds extra elements to them or changes them in a way to make them more three-dimensional, which makes it interesting to read for anyone who grew up reading ya and is overly familiar with the genre and its clichés. obviously the conflict-free love triangle is the best example of this but there's also the way jessamine fits the pretty mean girl/dumb blonde trope when she is introduced, but only becomes a genuine villain when she sheds both of these roles (and eventually becomes something of an anti-hero when she falls back into them); how will fits the tortured bad boy trope but one of the main antagonists (nate) does too from jessamine's pov (and, additionally, how jessamine effectively acts as tessa's foil for their respective romances); how will/jem are introduced and function as polar opposites/counterparts but throughout the series have more and more moments where they're revealed to be very much alike to the point where will explicitly refers to them as being the same person (in the most literal sense, something that's stated at the very start of the series too but takes on a different meaning as it goes on); the way the first book seems to set up for sophie/jem but ultimately does not deliver on it; etc. etc. it's genuinely very clever but ONLY to girls who have read like 60 ya novels in the past 5 years bc it requires a knowledge of how these tropes often function in ya lit and how tid subverts them. if it did this for literally any other genre it would be a classic

[everysongineverykey]

how does the stupendium live knowing in 2018 they dropped the ddlc song to end all ddlc songs. sometimes i'm bored and then i literally just sing why did i say oki doki in my head and boom. hours of fun

[quiescentdestiny]

I know i'm not the quickest person to pick up on andreil, but it still blows my mind that there are people who didn't realize until book three.

man that scene with the cellphone happened in like chapter 2 or whatever of trk and I was like "oh. Oh okay." dhfjkshdfgsjdlh

[go-to-the-mirror]

[Read by Catherine Tate.]

The Doctor stood on the step beside her and placed a reassuring hand on her arm.

"Donna," he said solemnly, looking into her eyes. "You're perfectly safe. You can't fall. I wouldn't let you fall."

[Read by Catherine Tate.]

He was sliding back further, his eyes were wide, the edge of the corrupted deck sliced apart like clay between his clawing fingers.

"Don't you dare fall!" she hollered. "You told me you wouldn't let me fall, well I won't let you fall either."

"I don't think," the Doctor grunted. "It's gonna work like that."

[jankillbride]

finally reading through orv with the intent to finish and the venn diagram i will make once i am done... insane.

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

If I See You Again Tomorrow

YA contemporary/light sci-fi

follows a boy almost a year into a time loop, who has almost given up on finding a way out

until a new boy shows up at his school - which has never happened before - and he’s motivated to step out of his monotony and maybe find a way out

exploring loneliness and social isolation

[vulpinesaint]

SORRY BRACKEN i unfortunately don’t have an epub im reading it from the library…i will say its with my free brooklyn library card which you could theoretically get as someone in the US under 21….im sure there’s also an epub out there somewhere

putting you in the spike trap for real 🙄 what good is living in a major west coast city if public library doesn't immediately have the books i want... anyway nbd beloved i'll put it on my list/find it somewhere and i'll get around to it eventually haha <3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

speaking of. winston just so happening to run into rian somewhere & they have an Interaction: maybe originally with winston just largely unusually cagey & reluctant to be interacting much, while it's rian more determined to say Something, but it's fairly brief/cursory & yknow, not interacting w/him as a person b/c she doesn't see him that way / doesn't want to, more of a verbal [pitying pat on the head] At him from the place of superiority

then it's winston's yknow no more than 24 hr timeloop, where he can quickly notice that That was the most seemingly out of place And/Or significant event of the day, and focus on essentially trying to see how like oh here's another chance, rian's actually the one who started out with more active interest / motivation in having an interaction, so that's pretty promising, like, oh if he's more open to it, and then he's the one getting to have these repeat opportunities to trying to actually finally connect, say different things, say the same thing as last time but maybe he didn't quite phrase it the right way or give the perfect delivery to result in her understanding & sympathizing and whatall, like, can get frustrated & avoid the whole encounter entirely, can try to express that frustration & try having an argument instead to try to have some breakthrough & be better understood that way. might get seeming "good" results sometimes, like just getting a chance to talk uninterrupted for a minute, maybe getting some slightly less patronizing "yeah that sucks. sorry" from rian, maybe having one of their precedented, seemingly more amicable/successful interactions in commisserating about anything re: work, maybe times they land on like yeah let's have a phonecall / have lunch / shared interest movie meetups together later....but the loop continues, and winston can feel particularly let down / confused like aw but last time seemed actually & unusually good....

meanwhile the potential element of like, do they ever kiss or hook up or such? first of all, billions canon would never allow someone "worthier" than winston to do this w/him (& of course all the ppl who aren't good enough to Not be lower tier loser nerds also only have dating relationships for women (no loser nerd women here, & meanwhile like yeah the s1 gay guy, who was married, & died. all disastrous) to realize their mistake & dump them), but as soon as you're focusing on winston in his own right you're breaking the rules of billions canon already, so, sure. and it might also never happen. b/c it wouldn't even really change what winston's trying to do already, which is, have a genuine reciprocal connection. spoilers: how that's Always been the case. and like it would be clear from the start that it's just not a very practical goal lol, more of something that could maybe happen when like, just really trying to go all in, put in a lot of effort, try things a little differently, and that's a shakeup that could lead to whatever like more outlier spinoffs. maybe you do start hashing out this history where already the mutual knowledge of winston being down re: rian didn't actually fundamentally change the broader context of actually just wanting to have a basic amicable dynamic. argue about it, have this be something he tries to come back to & "redo" thrice, just trying to be Really Listened To & Understood, maybe sometimes it's like yeah sure yolo what if we'd ever hooked up & what if we did so now, just to both see if there was fuckall sort of catharsis or resolutions or anything in that, and if there's not, what changes, we shrug, & at least got the hookup out of it. but ofc it's not The Key to anything, & it's just clearly not like a viable goal to prioritize steering all the way towards that particular reciprocal connection event....and/or maybe it takes a while to determine this, b/c once it Does seem to lead to Something. hanging out at someone's place, maybe winston's used the logic of like "well if i give someone an orgasm they'll (be more likely to) give me the time of day for 35 seconds to talk to them," maybe it does seem to get him that, maybe they do seem to have some kind of breakthrough with like things getting emotional, personal, serious, deep....But I Still Doesn't Change Things, there's not Really a breakthrough. like the way we've seen rian willing to Tell Winston Things that are earnest & personal, cue 5x07, but it's just still unilateral, she's saying things At him, then cutting down & punishing his attempts to interact in turn, reciprocally, or even within the context of [allowed to have an unequal interaction that keeps a positive tone]....like maybe here she does let him say some stuff, does respond like Huh Yeah Sure. winston just trying to share like his feelings, about a lot of things, about the past few years, about his entire relationship with rian, with taylor, with his whole experience in that office hierarchy, in life prior....not even like oh hey maybe if we have sex & an honest conversation we could Be Together? could be a small distance [maybe...] kind of hope, but i don't think he could even pursue that, based on, again, the context of: where their relationship even is at the start, & that to be at this point of maybe hooking up during the nth loop, winston's tried n minus o (let's say o > n/2) times to break through & Really Connect As People, so he can't have the highest hopes that like, messing around could change things up Enough. but maybe one seeming very different, intense shared aftermath of talking & getting personal & shit happens, & he does get his hopes up about that, even as an outlier, and keep thinking like, if i could back to that situation, maybe there's something i could say, and that'd be the change that sticks

and it isn't, because like, they still don't really connect. sure maybe they could've hooked up sometimes, had pretty amicable (or, let's say, unhostile) conversations sometimes, maybe they can even have what really feels like it should've been this Significant Moment. rian sharing things & winston allowed to say stuff back, Seemingly, but yknow, her having more patience/flexibility, "humoring" him, maybe figuring they Are connecting in turn just b/c of the [well, this is what it'd look like / what it'd feature, right] exterior of it....she ofc doesn't have to listen and care. she can be amused by like this access to someone, find it nonthreatening b/c yknow, sure, we have this exchange, but it's isolated, i can feel "sympathetic" but in a way Above It, i can tell him shit & be gratified in having an audience, but i won't need support from him or any particular response, b/c i'd need to genuinely consider what his response is to do so....i mean, Rian's Relationship Advice where she thinks trust is so important that now she needs The Absence of Trust. it was threatening to Really have to trust someone (sure) so now she needs to have access to all their stuff to dig through it at any time (um,). be like, yolo, play around with [winston's Real Shit dialogue options], say her own real shit At him, perhaps be a little warmer, or just relatively less mean and does that count? and winston could feel like, Wow, surely that was something? there could be more there? i Almost got through to this person? i could've better expressed a deeper essence of a more personal truth? which would all just be shit he could end up thinking after interactions at [whatever location they meet up at] lol. which is why a "they could make out. hook up" route is Apropos but not Necessary. it would Not change things. talking at the store or bar or library or museum or wherever could/would inspire those same considerations. so it doesn't have to happen at all. and also could.

but it comes to the point which is The Point, which is that like, even with this Premise that is rian like, motivated to interact with Him, seemingly also seeking Something out of it, more sympathetic than before, outside fo the office or of really being coworkers....it hasn't changed, and there's nothing winston can do here to really, Really change things such that it still wouldn't basically "reset." because winston dealing with rian, and most people, in canon is very much like a doomed time loop anyways. day in & out & he keeps trying, often in slightly different ways, always with a basic hope & persistence, & his various efforts & approaches & attitudes & seeming moments of "maybe this means they're friends for real / now?" gets him nowhere. b/c rian doesn't see him as a person and won't interact with him in a way similarly striving for actual connection / a real relationship person to person. and where winston would just be in a very similar situation as he was in canon if he was in a literal loop where he really cannot do something "right" to connect with rian, even if her approach to him is at all different & seems more promising. she absolutely would not see him as a peer or be open to any genuine personal interaction or rethink how she'd been towards winston before. and it also just encapsulates winston's experience in general, trying to do things "right" to be treated w/basic respect, let alone like positive personal interest, by the people around him. have the valuable skill, act confident, be loyal, be friendly, take the L's endlessly, act according to other people's terms, acquiesce, apologize, criticize, confront, express his genuine feelings, express his wants & perspective, stop expressing anything b/c he was told to shut up & die, roll with it yolo, walk away, walk over, communicate, communicate a whole other way....it's never changed things with any of the people who were already uninterested in interacting with him person to person. and any better results were with people who were different, and, of course, b/c they wanted to do so, if even b/c they have a more general want to have a basic respect for others in whatever interaction lol. and then there's winston being caught up in how like, rian Is interested in interacting with him at all, just completely on her terms, Not interested in a genuine relationship, not interested in winston having any consistency in the dynamic & not always left adapting to what she does or doesn't want from him moment to moment, emphasis on "from him," it's not reciprocal, if their interaction seems more aligned / nonhostile, it's b/c that's what she wants for this moment, and when she wants him to shut up & go away, that gets to determine what happens just as much

that anyways yeah like over & over again trying to unilaterally change your approach trying to do things "right" this time & earn a breakthrough? that's what winston was already doing. of course he could only walk away. and his relationship with rian was just more of the same, even distilled, elevated....make it a time loop where supposedly he's got this one Especial chance here? where something's different, here's your opportunity, finally, just figure out how to do it right? well what else is new. him Trying over & over, him evidently never giving up entirely / gamely trying Again over & over, with different techniques, trying to smile through it one time, being visibly discouraged another, expressing hurt/frustration another. put it into a time loop where he can even make more dramatic moves and be outside work with it entirely? it still wouldn't be enough. what else is new....gotta walk away again, even if he "can't" lol. just like, do other shit. explore completely different experiences elsewhere, try connecting with other people, try just having his own thing going on, play things by ear, hook up w/somebody somewhere else entirely

like sure maybe the time loop is theoretically For some kind of breakthrough w/rian, but it's wrong. and then like i don't think it ends b/c winston has some discrete "breakthrough" in turn about Giving Up On Rian. can have some loops having interactions with her more in that vein, like, not focusing on any hopes, not trying to "make it work," maybe still kind of exploring, venturing, trying Different things, but more like, detached, observing, picking up on how it's Not working, and not as like notes for what He can do differently, just now like, the facts of how he's thwarted / blocked no matter what he's doing. but like, nobody's ever just flipping a switch like yep Now i've given up on this person happening to change if i just do things the right way, so idk, i think in this case it could simply stop looping Arbitrarily lol, indeed after he's spent a while realizing he should, again, just walk away from this perspective where this relationship changing is really possible, and that's On Him, and a while coming to terms with that, exploring & practicing it a bit, like, can have further interactions, just having that Understanding shift of how like, this person will sometimes take things from you / use you & won't have an actual genuine connection with you, and that's it....spend time & energy & focus on other shit entirely, have a better time, have a better idea of what he wants, & it just goes regular mode after a while, without winston having to figure out one particular "right" thing for him to do it

as a bonus, they could both be in a loop here lol, i.e. both aware of as much, but that just sure adds a lot of extra chaos, and, again, i don't think rian would change lol sooo. not Herself, not b/c of anything winston does. so really it's like, the same journey for winston, just potentially more difficult, if rian's decided like oh yeah i have to pat you on the head the right way or something? but where then it's just put on winston some more, like, you have to respond right, you have to not fuck up the "moment" we'd have here, what can You do differently....like, maybe rian could have some revelation here, i've sure thought about a scenario like that for non looping situations, but even in that case, if it involves winston, he'd have to be hurt in a way that registers Externally to Others like oh yeah i guess that's "objectively" bad....which they still might not, b/c it's winston, and obviously it puts winston Through It, what else is new, but, and then it's like, idk, maybe rian can have a flicker of real self questioning but, At What Cost, and then, again, wanting winston to just like get to walk away and not have to play a part to serve rian's journey(tm), which, don't even think one incident, even a jarring one, wouldn't quickly be pushed into "place" and like justified / smoothed over by the perspective she already has. dunno how she would change, but she'd have to actualy want to, & try to, & it couldn't be through winston saying shit the perfect way when she just inherently doesn't listen to him, and that winston's made to feel like the person who's Responsible, bringing it upon himself, being the one who's acting & existing "wrong," while rian (& others) merely have their Inevitable Reactions to him....but he should get to realize the way it Isn't his responsibility, actually, he's the one interested & trying, rian (& others) are not. not about to Put That On Him, and like, similar to "what else is new?" rian's been day in & day out Like This towards winston, with varying interactions with him, some even almost as though they're actually peers, And yet. winston's Been tormented & negatively affected like [years of this day in & out] like lol lmao well who cares though, we don't think about how he's a person inside just like us, including how he feels or how his life is when we're walking away leaving him alone in a room after hurting him as much as possible to feel better in turn & try to force him back in line

imagining some kind of like "okay but would provide some kind of 'cue' with more of a resolutiony vibe" here like well hmm. one day he happens to go for a meandering [new places / explore] walk and maybe he stumbles across an eatery he'd been to once like oh shit i remember i loved xyz item, maybe it's new to him and then he Discovers a fave. maybe he visits the math museum. he has a brief winsome interaction with a random person of mutual total delight without trying to "act right." these kinds of things, several of them. i do like him re/discovering some especial treat & partaking of that. or maybe it's not even just very especial lol, the spirit of deciding to give himself little a treat, as a treat, despite no indication from the universe or anyone else that he did fuckall extra "right" to have earned it. nothing even shifting right there, just have the rest of a day, go to sleep, it happens to be the next morning now, nice

[poetichibiscus]

besties I may have finally given myself the ick w t*m h*ll*nd we can do if we can beat this

[blueiight]

man amc yall need to hurry up w season 2 like lmaooo the fuck.

[soulonoscopys]

some of the spn novels are so crappy, but then there are others that capture the essence. describing why they picked that specific motel room, their backup plans, their minuscule routines in their lifestyles. sam’s small habits that annoys dean, dean’s habits that annoys sam. and then their little thoughts. i thrive off of this stuff. spn has a great aesthetic (s1 - s5) and is satisfying to watch. but at the same time how would it have been if the entire 15 years were in books. the pain they went through described from their minds, and the details of their life laid bare on paper