#my main criticism is the fucking dragon plot point. it's just not SATISFYING

[danielnelsen]

but WHY does corypheus lose the ability to body-hop when the dragon dies? it pisses me off every time i play or read about it. it just feels like a cop-out. "oh the all-knowing well told me that the dragon will disrupt corypheus long enough to kill him". i hate the term deus ex machina because of things like cinema sins but this really is "here's a new mechanic that you could never have inferred from anything in the franchise up to this point and you know about it because of ~mystical ancient knowledge~" GAHHHHHHHH

[wetcatspellcaster]

Veilguard Thoughts

(my sort-of review, more of a ramble, below the cut in case of spoilers)

I had particularly low expectations for this game, as it felt to me like it was rushed out to try and hit the BG3 crowd and get them to pay £70 at the point where their hyperfixation was failing them. It felt like a very commercially-motivated decision, and I tried to modify my expectations accordingly.

I then started playing... and had to modify my expectations again.

But with two lowering of expectations completed... I genuinely enjoyed this game! I had fun! Sort of! if I squint!!

Thoughts!

I am not a competent gamer, so I like combat that feels fun and engaging without being challenging or a chore (cough, BG3 Act 3, cough), but without being lazy either. I played as a mage in Veilguard and I felt like this hit a sweet spot - moments where I was stressed kind-of invested, no moments when I was bored. The graphics for mage (for spellblade particularly) were awesome and badass, and I loved to new mode of engaging with the mage class in orb and dagger.

I understand the frustration with a lot of lore being retconned, ignored, or wilfully erased or moved away from. Some parts I understood: I do think Veilguard tries to make a move away from grimdark, not out of disloyalty to the franchise and it's roots, but bc grimdark is a very different prospect now than when Origins released. it's a genre that gets a lot more criticism and bad press, and that some people feel genuinely uncomfortable perpetuating as a results. While Origins is my favourite dragon age game, there's a lot of insane things you need to just let slide to enjoy it - like the fact that multiple origins begin with some kind of rape and sexual assault if you're playing as a woman. I don't think retconning that stuff is anything other than being politically savvy, and a little more sensitive to how fantasy has changed.

(I also think this is why they've moved away from the chantry conflict to be honest. Like the optics of Christian religions in fantasy has also changed, and let's be honest, Dragon Age had already fucked THAT, multiple times.)

I did however, like everyone, find it a bit disheartening to see how little Keep decisions mattered. Why is there no Keiran with Morrigan? why can't Mythal move to an inquisitor who drank the Well of Sorrows instead? why is my Inquisitor defending Solas when she ended the game hating him? Why is Hawke being in the Fade meaningless? I know this is just echoing what people have already said, but it was sad to see the 'conclusion' to the franchise (that probably isn't the end, let's be honest, not now that people paid £70 for an underwritten game) was even less satisfying in terms of choice and agency than ME3

This game deliberately skewed itself to read as a 'better DA2', than a 'worse, rushed inquistion'. IDK, it just makes me feel a bit grossed out, and manipulated. I mean, we know DA2 can be made in crunch, lads!!!!! :)))

Criticisms!

EVERYTHING is underwritten. The game is woefully short. If I can complete all the sidequests in a game, then something is wrong. The romances, the character arcs, the main quest, the dialogues. Everything was sparse, with the bare bones of a plot, that (in the case of companions quests) was rarely seen through to a full and satisfying conclusion. And I *know* that's not the writers fault, necessarily, but that doesn't mean it couldn't be done better.

There's so much potential, but I found that most of the companions could be boiled down to one or two traits, and while I can see people headcanoning reasons for this in real time, it's just... underwriting, or bad writing. Extremely telling to me that both Emmrich and Davrin were my favourite companions... because they had their own companions. That meant that they had multiple story hooks - their professions, their relationships, and then their little guys. They got three things, when most people only got two.

This was particularly egrerious for me with Taash, because they started out amazing, and I ended up being extremely disappointed as I watched both them and their mother being reduced down to flat one-dimension caricatures and a tired queer narrative of 'my parents hate me'. Only, this time, it's 'my immigrant parents hate me'. when you couple the reductive approach to Taash with bioware's inability to write the Qunari well or without falling into Orientalism??? they're suddenly an evil repressive queer phobic religion after being supportive of trans characters in inquisition???? you're telling me Shathann, a woman who was forced into a more feminine role by circumstance but considered herself more genderless/masculine as a scholar, wouldn't be on board with non-binary identity? just galling tbh.

The romances are underwritten. And they are badly written, to me. Luckily I know we'll have fic, but in Inquisition, each romance was 90 minutes worth of content. In Veilguard, Lucanis's romance is the longest... at 18 minutes. It just seems stupid and strange to me - if this game is chasing on BG3's coat-tails, why don't they know everyone is fucking horny?

While I liked the decision to give companions more banter together and flesh out their interpersonal relationships, I felt that the balance was off... probably bc it's cheaper to have two actors share a piece of scripted dialogue, than voice a decision tree. It meant that to me Rook often felt like a bystander in their own story, or excluded from their own found family. HR Manager-core, as it were.

General uselessness of the Lords of Fortune coupled with the Orientalism of the Lords of Fortune.... big sad.

I think the choice between Lace and Davrin is highly!!!! suspect!! do you go with fantasy racism (kill off the only dwarf, thus meaning all your dwarf companions are dead in the game, including the one who represented to future for her people) or the real racism (kill off the black man). I really wish this decision was more reactive, and perhaps based in faction strength or character bond, not just a pre-set choice.

I'll never care about solas, the way trick weekes wants me to care about solas. pretty dumb decision, to make a whole game contingent on this fact.

The ending and epilogue screens were underwhelming, and left the game feeling incomplete to me.

Joys!

To end on a more positive note...

everyone is hot. I honestly think everyone is hot. No other dragon age game had a cast of characters whom i all found attractive. This is unheard of. This is why I know all the fic will be fucking stellar.

And you know who else is hot? Rook. Genuinely one of my favourite DA protagonists! Maybe bc of the faction thing, or just the chemistry of the VA I chose. I just felt like she was pretty fucking hot tbh, and that more people in-game should be taking notice of it. Everyone should stop having conversations with each other and start desiring Rook carnally.

Weisshaupt was genuinely an amazing sequence and questline. In fact, I loved that this game featured Grey Wardens more heavily, and I loved all the lore about Wardens that was introduced.

Assan!! <3 Manfred!!! <3

Bellara and Neve kissing with tongue!!! No, I will not elaborate!!!

(I think that Bellara and Neve were two characters who did have strong stories, and that they should kiss about it.)

Elgarnan and Ghilanain.... never before has a dragon age game known what it's like to have a charismatic villain. This time, we got two. Ghilanain was my favourite, bc I'm fucking gay, but even interactions with Elgarnan and his boss battle felt engaging. I honestly don't think a dragon age game has ever had a good villain before, and these guys were both fucking cool.

[foolish-fitz]

rain wild chronicles thoughts (mostly negative ones)

warning for me being a hater - if you liked this series, I'm happy for you!!! feel free to click away from this criticism with the knowledge that it's okay to like and dislike different things.

that being said, this was by far my least favorite Hobb series. there are some things I really liked, but I feel overwhelmingly "meh" about this series. it feels like there's a lot of missed potential and it's a significant dip in quality from what I know Hobb can do.

I think this review is best formatted with a list of things I liked, and things I didn't.

things I liked:

I really enjoyed and related to aspects of Thymara's arc. her struggles with the model minority idea was super interesting, and her issues with sexuality hit home for me in a weird (but good) way.

the Rain Wilds :) they are so cool! tree cities yes please!!!

Malta in book 3. this deserves another post and I've already ranted about it on Discord, but I'm continually amazed by Hobb's skill in developing characters. we pick up with Malta after a significant time gap, and she is clearly different, but it's so clearly still her and she's been informed by everything that's happened to her and it's just amazing.

also the scene where she gives birth to Phron and kills the Chalcedean. good for her. it was extremely disturbing to me but also extremely badass

also her relationship with Reyn is very sweet

the Hest/Sedric flashbacks to the start of their relationship

learning more about the ancient Elderlings and their city was cool

things I disliked:

Malta in book 4. "but Eve you just talked about how much you love her" yes but she got fucking boring in book 4 ok. she did nothing.

this actually hits on a bigger issue with RWC to me, which is that none of the characters really had a character arc worthy of four books. most of them had a pretty simple thing (in terms of story) to overcome - ie Sedric and Alise realizing Hest was a horrible abuser and finding self-worth without him, Thymara embracing her sexuality and choosing a partner, etc - but once they did that, or if the story wasn't allowing them to make progress at that point, their arcs just kind of... stopped. which could have been workable, except Hobb was committed to giving characters POVs even if nothing interesting was happening with them.

this is my main frustration with Alise - it feels like her arc pretty much ends when she has sex with Leftrin. yeah there's the stuff about being a scholar and accepted into the Elderling community, but it's boring and not impactful to me and doesn't feel satisfying. but even when she's a very static character, she still has POVs, and they're repetitive and boring.

WHY HAS PARAGON BEEN ENTRUSTED WITH ANOTHER CHILD. WHAT THE FUCK. this better get addressed in F&tF or I riot. (no spoilers please)

WHY DID WE NOT GET ALTHEA AND BRASHEN'S KID'S NAME. i have been waiting for so long!! (again, no spoilers)

Selden's arc ends with him being dragon pilled again!! whyyyy. it could be interesting if it was showing the futility of trying to build a life without the dragons, and how he's destined to be a slave to them and that's tragic, but nope! he's just a happy minstrel again! yay /sarcasm

the dragon and Elderling plot in general kind of went nowhere... it was cool to see the Elderling development but the books ended without most of the dragons changing in any significant ways, and the new Elderling society really wasn't explored to the extent I was expecting.

THE WAR AGAINST CHALCED IS LIKE FOUR FUCKING PAGES LONG. it's one battle and the resolution isn't even on screen!!!!!! the narration of the dragons flying to Chalced is longer than the ENTIRE WAR WITH CHALCED. girl.

I could go on but I don't want to.

TLDR: I was really disappointed in RWC. I thought the characters were pretty shallow and boring and didn't deserve four books of POVs, the plot was... fine but not exciting, and the resolution was rushed and not impactful.

[inky-goat]

Loki finale (spoilers)

okay....

i didn’t hate it. which is probably not what most people think but im okay

Yes the kiss was unnecessary and rushed and forced blah blah even if they weren’t basically twins this is still some lousy romance writing, Marvel

But the “cliff-hanger” isn’t so bad i think

Although i’m not familiar with He Who Remains in the comics nor Kang the Conqueror (as apparently the actor has been cast in Ant-Man 3 as him) the ending with his statue actually brings up a lot of questions and theories??

1. my initial thought was that his is some sort of Groundhog Day effect but across all of time and reality itself. ie the Time Keepers were real and they did this whole shenanigan first and then He Who Remains stepped in. Now it’s Sylvie’s turn i guess and everything within the TVA is reset to be as if it was in the beginning? A Multiversal War that the TVA stops and all is well again. Maybe.

2. OR sylvie transported loki to an alternative timeline where no one knows him (yet?) due to the fact that this timeline is crashing into other universes? or she just put him into a timeline where he and Mobius never met ie Loki didn’t become a variant (yet?). But no, Mobius doesn’t even recognise him, and he was the one to hunt down Loki variants... it’s interesting.

final thoughts

Sylvie and Loki were really really forced and i don’t even care about whether or not its incest or self-cest or whatever. For a show that isn’t meant to be a cheesy sappy love story they really had no reason to shove this in. Sylvie and Loki had barely any romantic chemistry before suddenly Loki starts making love eyes at her, and then suddenly they can’t stand to be apart from each other and then suddenly the power of love helps them tame a smoke dragon- like what.... In the end, their relationship, platonic or not, which was supposed to show self-love and according to Mobius even take down the TVA, did nothing. Maybe this will be resolved in season 2 but given how barely any other plot line was fully resolved, it would have been nice to at least have this at a “calm, slow” moment, narratively speaking. 

And as for Sylvie the character.... she really took the spot-light huh. 

Not in a good way. Think about it very simply: 

1. Loki shows up at the TVA (not his choice, but gets the plot kick started)

2. Loki helps hunt down the variant for his own goals (driving the plot, well done, he’s actively making choices)

3. Loki and variant, Sylvie, get stuck on a planet and he has to go along with the plan to recharge their TemPad (okay plot is taking a step back, but what other choice is there? oh! Loki makes the choice to save those peo- aaand that’s over quickly, great.)

4. When the TVA show up Loki is tortured for a bit, Mobius goes on his journey of switching sides, while Sylvie converts one of the TVA members to their side (okay, good one Loki, you kind of did nothing, sylvie did way more in captivity than you and Mobius moved the plot forward for next ep)

5. Loki follows Sylvie’s plan to take down Alioth (at least he tried to take back the plot briefly, until Sylvie showed up to steal it again)

6. Loki follows Sylvie to the one who made the Time-Keepers and at this point can you even remember his personal goal in the show? What does Loki want again? Why is he a love-sick puppy following Sylvie around?

There’s nothing wrong with having a passive protagonist who doesn’t do much to drive the plot themselves... but this isn’t it Marvel. Because Sylvie became the main protagonist. Loki is more of a side character in his own fucking show than he was in Avengers or Ragnarok.

ALTHOUGH with this ending i actually take back some criticism on the show’s pacing. Still weird but not horrible. especially as this seems like a huge set up for the entirety of the MCU moving forward. Was that a good thing to do? No, God no, i don’t think so. But i understand it now given the open-ended/excutiatingly confusing ending. I can’t explain it but it suits the show in my opinion.

but yes, Loki season 1 should have been able to be a story on its own with at least some plot points tied up. Each instalment of the MCU does rely on previous storylines and does have a continuing narrative that is picked up later by other movies, but they still can exist by themselves. Loki season 1... kind of can’t. You have to watch future movies to feel satisfied by the ending, or at least understand the comics universe with great detail.... which isn’t... nice.

[slothcritic]

Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Episode 10 Review

A satisfying conclusion with plenty of jabs, jibs and a ghost whatnow?

While The Punchline has been split up into three parts, I will be reviewing and judging all three parts as a single episode within a single review. I will be giving out scores for each part just for posterity however, but only the overall score will be considered this episode’s actual rating.

In the cold open, Vegeta is absolutely thrilled over snapping Nappa out of existence, and Goku asks Krillin and Gohan to retreat while he deals with Vegeta. Krillin is already gone, screaming and crying. Gohan and Goku have a brief conversation about putting dinner on, because he's hungry. There might be some reference I'm not getting here, or if it's really just a face-value scene, but I think it would've been funnier if the title sequence had begun just after Krillin is shown running (flying) away to safety.

[Title Sequence, Part 1]

Goku and Vegeta opt to find a new battlefield, as the one where Nappa decimated the Z Fighters is a little "corpsey." King Kai starts taking bets on which of them is going to win, and even the Narrator tries to get in on that, despite already knowing the outcome.

The delivery on Vegeta's lines early on is not promising. I'm not sure if it's poor audio quality caused by a crappy microphone or if Lanipator was struggling with some kind of throat infection while recording these lines, but it's noticeable as there's a long extended conversation with a voice that sounds like sandpaper to the ears. I actually went back to check on the previous episodes to see if I was taking crazy pills, and no, Vegeta sounded just fine before. I have no idea what the reason or cause of this change might be, whether it was a deliberately different delivery or if they were rushing to put this episode out, but Vegeta sounds consistently more raspy in this episode than the gravelly deadpan to which I've become accustomed. For all I know, yelling as Vegeta might just by taxing on his vocal chords.

Putting the voice issue aside, Goku's oblivious lack of understanding for the word "elite" and the back and forth between the two of them works on the whole as a great scene.

"I'm going to start beating you now. I don't know when I'll stop."

I can't remember whether or not that's a reference, but I love the delivery on it. Vegeta has just finished dealing with Nappa and now has absolutely zero patience for someone just as braindead.

Sure enough, after being taunted about a cave full of gumdrops and ice cream, Vegeta drops the "That's it! EVERYONE DIES!" which might be one of my favorite things said in this episode, but it’s followed closely by:

"Say goodbye to your planet, Kakarot." "Well that's not very nice." "OF COURSE NOT! I'M FUCKING EVIL!"

The dynamic here works astoundingly well. It's very different from Vegeta and Nappa's duo, but works on similar foundations. With Vegeta and Nappa, Nappa was the ridiculous one and Vegeta served as his anchor. With Vegeta and Goku, the roles are flipped and Vegeta is now the ridiculous one, screaming his head off in frustration and writhing around in the death throes of his pride, while Goku's complete obliviousness and innocence keeping him grounded as the anchor. Nappa was purposefully annoying because he was a bratty, childish mook, while Goku is just annoying by happenstance and being very, very hard to put down. It doesn't help that Vegeta actually wants to kill Goku, and unlike Nappa, he's having less than success with this one.

The overall production of the climatic beam struggle is surprisingly well executed, and is perhaps the best moment in this entire episode from a technical perspective. Goku speaking as he charges up the Kamehameha doesn't sound cheesy, canned or forced, and neither does Vegeta's delivery. The sound effects and music are also on point here. This is an important moment in the series and I'm glad they got it just right. I have no objections with anything here.

If anything, at about five and a half minutes in, the viewer has had enough time to adjust to Vegeta's new raspier voice and it no longer seems out of place. If he had been speaking "normally" up until this point, I probably would have criticized the delivery on these lines, but it almost feels like it fits on the whole now that this has been established as the "new normal" for the last five minutes. The main point I'm attempting and probably failing at making is that my original complaint was that the new voice took me out of the episode, but in this moment with the beam struggle, Vegeta's voice flows naturally and I honestly wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't just (as of now) dedicated two whole paragraphs of this review to JUST talking about how Vegeta sounds slightly different now.

Alright, now it's time to back up a tad, which isn't something I like to do a lot. Twice in this episode, Goku has used the Kaio-Ken and then the Kaio-Ken times three. The first time he used it, he seemed to at least match Vegeta. The second time he used it, he jobbed Vegeta straight into a rocky wall. But it's only good for a few seconds, so it has no sustain. It's essentially one really strong punch or a really quick beat down, but leaves Goku winded and struggling at the end of it.

The reason I didn't bring these up as they happened was because frankly the scenes didn't do enough for me to write about it. I write about what I feel is significant to my review to give context or explanation to my thought process, not to give a play by play. Simply put, they were funny, but nothing notable happened because of it. It was a quick skit, okay, move on. But it's now important to draw attention to those two moments, because while they did very little for me the first two times... Well, during this beam struggle, just as Vegeta feels like he’s gaining the upper hand, the dramatic music quiets to nothing but the sounds of the beams clashing, and all we hear is...

"Kaio-Ken..." Vegeta look on in horror.  "...No..." "Times..." "No no no..." "FOUR!"

Vegeta is sent skyward with a loud FFFFUUUUUU- and then twinkles like Team Rocket just blasted off again. Goku is the victor... of this fight at least.

Then there's an odd cutaway back to Roshi's island that's slow to start, but eventually got me to smile. It's all the characters from Dragon Ball reminiscing of times where they used to be relevant to the story. Guest appearance by Baba who almost doesn't appear in Z at all!

It initially felt like a bit of tone whiplash but it warmed up to me. And "Whatever happened to Launch?" actually got a laugh out of me. Seems like Toriyama isn't the only person who forgot about her.

I'm not sure what the point of this scene was, but I agree with the decision that after that climax, a break or calming down period in the tension it had built up was definitely necessary, even if the transition felt a little jarring at first.

"Meanwhile, back at the plot", which is an amazing segue, Vegeta gets off Mr Goku's Wild Ride and the beam continues on without him into the pink sky.

I don't think -UUUUUUCK! counts as an F-Bomb so it doesn't get censored. Booyah!

Vegeta then undergoes a post ass-kicking identity crisis. After devising a plan to turn into the mighty Ozaru, he then undergoes a where's-the-damned-moon crisis.

Good thing Blutz Waves are a thing. He yeets the artificial moon into the sky and boom, King Kong. The other King K attempts to coach Goku through dealing with this beast (that is canonically stronger than Captain Ginyu at this point) and advises Goku to find a safe, secluded location to charge up the Spirit Bomb.

Goku however decides to do it right out in the open. Just as Ape Vegeta's massive fist obliterates Goku, King Kai's crystal ball turns to static and gets the operator disconnected message. I think a dial tone would've been slightly funnier, but this has the same energy so I'll take it with no complaints. An excellent way to end the first part of this episode!

[Part 2]

This part begins with Goku hitting a rock so hard he thinks he's in Dragonball Evolution for a moment. After blinding Vegeta with a solar flare, which I'm still not entirely sure how that works or why people don't use it more often to get cheap surprise shots on blinded targets, Goku finds a quiet spot that he can use to charge the Spirit Bomb. He ends up borrowing so much energy from the planet that he may or may not have drained all the life from an old father deer. Dark, but morbidly hilarious.

Goku tries to fling the Spirit Bomb at Vegeta, but surprise: He's got a mouth laser! Knocks the Spirit Bomb right out of him and sends him tumbling against a rock.

"Hey Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken?" "Huh?" "Christopher Reeves!"

CRUNCH! The giant monkey stomps down right on Goku's legs, crushing and immobilizing him.

This is such a bad, good joke. I still think about this one from time to time. And honestly, considering how I started binge-watching these in high school (where I more or less developed into an entirely different person), this joke here might very well be the genesis of my love for black humor. I'm fully willing to admit I'm biased on this, but I think this is one of the funniest dark jokes in DBZA, full stop. If not the whole series, then at least within Season 1. Don't care, evil.

Just as he's about to be crushed for good, Goku shoots a quick energy blast into Vegeta's eye, causing him to stagger backwards. This is where Goku makes his cunning escape, dodging, weaving and doing aerial acrobatics around the massive monkey man, accompanied by victorious fanfare. Or not. Goku's legs are still broken. But it's nice to just imagine how cool that would’ve looked, y’know?

Vegeta then decides he's just going to squeeze the life out of Goku, and his screams can be heard well into the distance, all the way to Krillin and Gohan.

The giant monkey keeps squeezing Goku until he squeaks like a rubber ducky, or a chew toy. He does it again, and another squeak.

"Oh my god, that's hilarious."

In the middle of squeaking Goku relentlessly, Gohan decides to make a stand, having blown back to fight Ape Vegeta. He gives a verbose speech that culminates in "The bigger they are, the harder they fall." and then strikes a fighting pose like his five year old ass is going to do anything against a fifty foot behemoth. Battle gong and everything playing in the background.

Vegeta just stares at Gohan, and then after a pause, squeaks Goku again. This has delightfully petty energy to it, especially coming from Vegeta.

While Gohan has caught Vegeta monologuing, Krillin attempts a sneak attack on Vegeta, but he effortlessly humiliates him and thwarts his efforts by simply hopping over the Kienzan that was coming from behind.

However, he couldn't anticipate two sneak attacks. That or Yajirobe was simply that unlikely of a hero, but here he comes sword and all to save literally everyone's lives as he slices Vegeta's tail clean off his rump.

With no more tail, Vegeta regresses to his original Saiyan form. He's no less dangerous, however, and just as Krillin tries to bring the hype, he gets immediately pinballed into the nearest rocky structure and the owned count strikes 9.

The writing on Vegeta's speech following this is actually quite good. "I thought I'd be angrier" is not a take I expected from someone who's had such major meltdowns and cataclysmic conniptions thus far. It does a good job of illustrating how far down the rabbit hole we've gone, to the point where he has become so angry that he's encountered a stack overflow.

Goku and Gohan have a touching moment, both broken, beaten and bloody, but as they share a heart to heart, and their hands extend towards one another's like a Michelangelo painting, Vegeta comes in like a good fiend and gives Goku a killer knee-shot to the ribs. You have to wait for the right moment!

They immediately cut away to an intermission, which they never do in any other episode, but honestly it fits here. The alternative would be to end the episode here and we've still got another three minutes and some change to go. It's an arbitrary production joke but it's necessary and well done for the scene as a whole so it gets a pass and then some from me.

When we resume, Vegeta and Gohan duke it out, which provides a convenient distraction for Goku to hand off part of the Spirit Bomb to Krillin. It turns out he'd been saving some of the earth juices from when he got the snot knocked out of him earlier, but only a little bit of it. Krillin is confused as to why Goku would trust him of all people with it, and Goku concedes that his back is kind of against the wall on this one.

With a yipee-kay-yay and a booyah motherfucker, Krillin lobs the Spirit Bomb Lite at Vegeta, who simply jumps Krillin’s attack for the second time. Maybe aim a little higher next time, or better yet don’t loudly announce your attacks. Not that anyone in this series would understand that concept anyways.

Now the Spirit Bomb is heading straight for Gohan. But it's okay because Gohan is a main character, so he just Uno Reverse Card’s the Spirit Bomb off his hands and it sproings upwards towards Vegeta once more.

Side note, I don't think it's ever explained, either in the abridged or the original series, how Goku is able to communicate telepathically with Gohan. Yes, Master Roshi says in Dragon Ball that "any highly skilled martial artist can read minds" but does that just mean reading minds or actually communicating between them? And if that's the case, why doesn't Goku use this more often? I could probably find at least one plot point that could've been avoided by this, but the answer is probably extremely simple. Goku is a moron. It's very easy to explain away forgetfulness or inconsistent writing when you can just default to saying that your main character is an idiot who forgot he could do those techniques that you forgot existed as a writer. Don't think about it too much I guess.

"What smells like deer?"

I’ve actually missed this joke every single time I've watched this episode so far, except for just now, when I watched it to write this review. The old father deer from before! That is such a cool and unexpected callback.

Anyways, Vegeta gets punked by the Diet Spirit Bomb and goes sailing into the sky. The Z Fighters - which is now just Goku, Gohan and Krillin - are ecstatic in celebration.

"It's been tough, but now, we'll never have to see that rotten Saiyan ever again."

Cue Vegeta's lifeless body ragdolling to the ground with a meaty thwap. Krillin tempts fate by approaching the body, and that goes as expected. Vegeta opens one eye and screams. Then the others all start screaming.

Very weird production mis-step or weird decision with the source footage here. Vegeta's face at least moves, but because all the others have panning shots, they freeze in weird, awkward positions. The action lines don't move, some characters aren't fully in frame, and it's very obviously a still image instead of  something like a loop. Maybe this is just what they had to work with. Still, very immersion breaking. Though honestly, I'm almost glad that if something like this had to happen in this part, it was at least in the last ten seconds.

Goku is confused because he can't move. I mean, they won right? Why is everyone screaming.

[Part 3]

This part begins immediately with Krillin getting bitch slapped, earning a 10/10 on the owned counter. Vegeta then decides he has had exactly enough of everyone and everything, and goes for the nuclear option.

Fortunately for our heroes, Vegeta has been so worn down, battered, sent through the ringer, and has suffered so much damage to that one eye in particular, that he doesn't have enough energy left to kill everyone all at once. Instead, he opts to get his hands dirty and cut them each of them down one at a time. Speaking of cut, here comes Yajirobe with his sword. It can pierce through Vegeta's armor, which is wonderful news but ultimately pointless. However, it serves as an excellent distraction.

Remember that fake moon? Remember how Vegeta only returned to normal form because his tail was amputated? Remember earlier how Piccolo had to destroy the Earth's actual moon because Gohan was a rampaging Donkey Kong lunatic? Well guess who just woke up staring right at that fake moon in the sky.

Lacking any barrels in the vicinity, Ape Gohan decides to throw around some rocks.

Goku, again, reaches to him telepathically and reminds him not to go on a rampage killing everyone.

"Remember Icarus? He did it."

Now, purely within this episode, this isn’t an issue. It’s a funny haha moment. However, this scene gets a little more irritating or perplexing once you’ve seen some of the DBZA movies. This knowledge did hamper my enjoyment of this scene on rewatch. However, that ultimately isn’t fair to this episode as a stand alone product, and my gut instinct of “My knowledge of episodes that came out well after this one retroactively makes this episode worse!” is also something I try tooth and nail to avoid. So I’m going to talk about this for a bit and get it out of my system so I can approach it fairly.

Simply put, Icarus is a headache. He's Gohan's friend and pet dragon of sorts, for like three random movies, some episodes of Z and then never gets mentioned again. Goku implies that Vegeta is responsible for Icarus' death, despite the fact that Icarus is still alive at some point after Goku defeats Freeza. I would normally take up the stance of “okay, let’s ignore the official canon / non-canon and just stick to DBZA” but he ALSO features in the DBZA movie Cooler’s Revenge, so this is multiple layers of crazy. 

I understand that DBZA exists primarily as a form of parody and thus prioritizes humor and “working with what you’ve got” over some things a harsh anal-retentive person might deflagrate them for (cough cough) and are not afraid to contradict themselves on points of little significance for the sake of humor. I also don’t think they had any long-standing plans to incorporate Icarus into Z at the time this episode was made - They may have simply wanted to make a joke about the DBZ equivalent of Poochie the Dog from Itchy & Scratchy.

Like I said, Icarus is headache. However, simply in this moment and nothing else, I do feel it works. It’s shows a cute dragon geting exploded. Who couldn’t feel bad for this poor random dragon that I totally haven’t ever seen before? It also works within the story itself -  Gohan gets sufficiently angry, and Vegeta starts treading the tightrope of desperation. 

Gohan's Ozaru form isn't long lived however, as Vegeta suddenly learns the Kienzan and slices his tail off with it. Small problem though, Gohan was airborne, and the regression back to a normal Saiyan form is not instantaneous. His massive body looms over him, and with a Big NO, Vegeta go splat.

He's down but not out. He at least has enough energy to call for his Space Uber to come and pick him up. As he's crawling hands and knees into his escape pod, Krillin suddenly decides he wants to be important, and appears with Yajirobe's sword, poised to strike. 

Vegeta is understandably terrified, because after the day Krillin's had, he's gone full ride or die mode and isn't about to wait on an invitation to go full Thanksgiving turkey on this maniac.

However, Goku wants the pacifist ending and gives a very simplified version of the original speech to Krillin. If he's sorry, we have to let him leave. Because that's what being a good boy is all about. It's noteworthy that one of my all-time favorite Vegeta quotes happens right here in the original dub.

"When I come back to this planet, you're all going to suffer. And when you beg me for mercy, I'll stare into your eyes as I crush the life out of you."

However in this version, we're treated to "Yes, I'm very very sorry. Sorry that you're all still alive, suckers!"

And honestly, both versions are fitting for their respective interpretations of Vegeta.

As we pan out, the narrator waxes on the victory of the heroes and how he made bank from his bet with King Kai. Next time, don't make bets with the narrator you stupid idiot. Big dumb idiot god. 

I'm writing this at close to 4am if you couldn't tell. Scheduled uploads!

"Has anyone really not seen this show already? Find out in the next season of Dragon Ball Z Abridged!"

And that's it folks! Well, almost. We have one final scene to go through first.

Vegeta is hurdling through space in his Saiyan pod, lamenting his laundry list of losses and failures, but at least concedes that his situation cannot get worse. But we all know what happens to people who tempt fate.

"Vegeta... VEGEEEEEETA..." "Wh-What?" *DING* "I'm haunting you."

And thus, we've reached the end of Season 1! The Ghost Nappa song plays and the outro credits roll.

Conclusion

First off, definitely a longer review than I'm used to writing. Secondly, this was a great three-parter. I wasn't sure if the format would hold up like it does for single segment episodes, but it does. Now I'm sure there are bad episodes to come in the future, but for now I'm happy that the last three or four episodes have all scored relatively high. TFS is going into Season 2 with some great foundations built upon their older, more crude material, and they still have a lot of room yet to improve. I should consider being more critical with this next season as the expectations will be higher!

There’s one noteworthy gripe I have with each of these three parts, but only one worth writing about. -Vegeta suddenly sounding different, as if I didn't talk about that enough. I swear I'm not taking crazy pills. -Weird freeze frames at the end of Part 2. -Icarus, simply because he messes with me on a personal level. This fucking dragon doesn't make any god damned sense.

Other than that, I liked it. I don't know if I'd say "I loved it" but for the series as a whole, we're getting there at breakneck speed.

The first part had some great back and forth interactions with Goku and Vegeta, both the dialogues and the beam struggle, while the second part had more stand-out moments with just Vegeta, from the squeaking Goku, to the "I thought I'd be angrier" speech, his perfectly timed knee to ribs, and the famous last words "What smells like deer?"

The last part... didn't actually have much of this. I didn't find the talk about Vegeta’s father to be terribly funny and nothing else he said was extremely stand-out like in the previous two parts. This part didn't so much have humor as it was the "let's wrap things up" segment. Most of the noteworthy moments happen close to the tail end. I will admit, even ten years later, I still got a little sentimental hearing that outro from LK, and let's not sleep on Ghost Nappa. They may have done you dirty in Kai 3 but we still love you!

Overall, I'm happy that this was as good as I remembered it. I found jokes I didn't pick up the first few times, flaws that I didn't know existed, and a new appreciation for some subtle details that may have glossed over me while I was busy laughing about Christopher Reeves.

Part 1: 75 Part 2: 78 Part 3: 72

Score: 75

Passing Thoughts

"Kaio-Ken!" "Kaio-What?"

Small error on my part - Piccolo blows up the moon in Episode 4, and in my review of that episode, I mistakenly attribute a scene from this episode to DBZ Kai Abridged.

"I'm going to enjoy this far more than I should." - And like that, Vegeta has suddenly become relatable.

"Thank God, I thought he meant penis!"

"Time to crush you like an Arlian." "A what?" "Exactly."

"I haven't killed a damned thing since I got to this god-forsaken planet! Not for lack of trying mind you."

[itsediadmlove]

Endgame................

I’ve never believed I had any right to be angry at GRRMartin for the endgame he was going to provide us, nor about the time he took on writting, I’ve always believed ASOIAF to be his creation and should be so until the very end, and I still do. I’m neither writting to put any blame on the Ds about such a thing as the endgame. Yet, despite of the direction the story finally took I believe I can put some blame on them, again not for the outcome but for the shit they have made beyond that.

D&D: There are several things I’m more than willing to blame them about.

1- The way they spent HBO money and OUR time. Again this is not about the story itself but the way they organized this season. We all knew there were only 6 episodes left and a full lot of shit to do, so things being rushed coud be anticipated. Apparently (cause I don’t know) they were given the chance to make a 10 episodes season and they choosed not to because they thought it wasn’t needed, and they were maybe right and still what they did was absolutely unsatisfying. Why? For me it’s pretty simple, they didn’t gave themselves enough time to build up things the right way. But the truth being said, even if they had 10 fucking episodes they would have messed up. The problem was not the amount of minutes this season but how they used it, at some point they missed the concept of the show they were running. GOT/ASOIAF can be setted in a medieval fantastic world, it can be an epic story, but what it has always been is a political thriller. Yet those dickheads choosed to spend 1/3 of the remaining onscreen time (and probably 2/3 of the budget they were trusted with) in fucking long battles (if KL destruction can even be called a battle). As far as I remember, the longest battle that have taken place in the books was when Stannis attacked KL, in the books I remember it took like 6 chapters (3 of them were Sansa’s who wasn’t even in the battle), readers felt disappointed about how shitty the battle of the blackwater was back in season 2, yet we understood the show’s timetable needed to be done with it quickly and the budget was the one of a TV show with a huge amount of characters so we wern’t very bothered by it. GOT/ASOIAF have never been about battles,  those are things that just happen and it’s awful yes, but have never been the main core of the story and yet they spent such a huge amount of time on them when the show had so little time to get a closure,I REPEAT MYSELF 1/3 of our time, I believe the most of the money for what? Two fucking long battles which were not amazing at all (Drogon blowing up KL was beautiful yes, but never worth 45 minutes of my time). SO NO, IT’S NOT THINGS WERE RUSHED BECAUSE OF THE TIME LEFT, THEY WERE RUSHED BECAUSE THEY BETRAYED THE ESSENCE OF THE SHOW THEY WERE RUNNING BY SPENDING TOO MANY TIME IN SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T MOVE THE STORY LINE FURTHER AND EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER ARC PAID FOR IT.

2- The broken trust. This 2 morrons were given the chance by the very GRRMartin to be the first to deliver the endgame of the most intriguing and complex story I’ve ever watched or read. They had a responsability toward him and again they failed. THE FUCKING FINALE WAS ACTUALLY LEAKED. I mean, this on itself is an insult to the kind of show they were supposed to do, a treason to all the time GRRMartin spent on writting his books. It’s not what the endgame was, to be frustrated about how life works it’s granted on GOT/ASOIAF. But letting it to be leaked, not just one episode, but all of them... Letting the more discussed, argued, especulated show in history end to be leaked is something I can’t forgive them for.

3- Setting things up that never paid off: I just felt that every single camera focus, political conflict... Was set for nothing... GOT has never been like that, the truth was hidden by the scrypt but told on how the show was actually plaid. Never got a Sansa/Cersei/Dany display and, no matter who of them you stand, just that was frustrating. Non epic dialogues, instead we got 10 minutes of council unimportant small talk (not even about politics) and brothel joking (THE FUCK???). Even if someone tries to say something of the like that it was all to subvert expectations all of that was ruined because they let the fucking endgame to be spoiled. It felt that it was all for nothing but fuck us, and if it was that way well, then it was all for fan disservice which is even wworse than fan service because no one gets satisfied about it. Tenth of minutes of threats, angsty looks, anticipation, political moves, drama, plot, build up made garbage which actually means that the most true moments to the show were battles which is just..................................................................................... ehem. This season battles became what were never meant to be and the rest of it was just nothing at all.

Now, enough with the D&D criticism, I don’t want to go any further and the cast was amazing: Emilia really got me this season, she is way better of what I ever thought her to be, magnificient work for you, Sophie as good as always, Kit you did all that could be done with just as little as they gave you (your BoW sequence while running in the courtyard was amazing and never expected less since the BoB), Lena my only complaint is that I missed you as much as Jaime missed Cersei (Cersei may be the one character that was better in the show than in the books; the scripts plaid their part but so you did)... And so on. You did amazingly all along and YOU can be proud; you all were the best part of it.

Let’s go to GRRMartin. As I said above I’m ok with the ending being such, not the one I would have picked but well, I dont get to chose, isn’t it? I’ve always been amazed by just how realistic the story was, how cynical you are yourself, how complex every character you designed has been and how you brought it together to make a story that made sense, a story that was always able to make you expect things that never happen and yet, with the given time, would reveal to go in a far more logical way making you understand, accept and keep going with it... Maybe I am wondering because I know I would never get a further explanation, clue or hope, but for someone who have always remained true to pracmatism, realism and individualism of his characters there are a few things I actually can’t understand, not as a reader/watcher, nor as a political scientist.

Things I can understand:

-Jon going to the wall: I guess Grey Worm demanding it was true to Grey Worm’s character, he did bullshit for 2 seasons, and actually doing the very same mistake as Robb or even worse (he fell in love with a dangerous and unstable mass murderer who was ready to burn his family alive, or at least, that is what the show told us). He deserves it for knowing nothing and yet managing to forget the half of it. Yet, if Grey WWorm leaves with the unsullied... Why would he carry on his sentence... This is GOT but well, as the show putted it, it makes some sense for him to carry his sentence to the end, but George, book Jon is not this kind of honorable man who goes for honor but a dutifull bastard able to betray every single oath he once took for the greater good. Good luck pulling that off.

- Dany dying: Again, Dany falling to her extremely dark side has been very foreshadowed in both the books and the show, she has done horrendous things, a lot of people has, my personal problem with her is that, half of the times, such cruelty was absolutely unnecessary. Yet Dany stans do have a point; Dany suddenly falling for that side of her coin just because a few persons that were close to her died and people not cheering for her was extremely poor. That woman who (unwillingly) killed her husband and unborn baby, led a bunch of ill, old people as well as children through a dessert while watching them die... Going nuts for such childish reasons is pittysome for her character. Most of your character have always been grey, even the ones we perceived as evil were given the chance to prove their humanity, even while doing terrible things, they had the chance to be sympathetic to us, and we were given the chance to know the most of them and agree even with some of their worst accomplishments. This season Daenerys (who I repeat I haven’t liked for 4 seasons already) was definitely going to go dark, but she was deshumanized while doing it, in a way that was impossible to understand and yet hard to call madness. I hope you do better about her because I want to think that it was all Ds’ fault (I’ve had a hard time deciding who to blame about this) giving her to much screen time and yet being unable to make us understand wtf was going on with her so suddenly (there is a huge difference between being sad or angry and burning small folks from a dragon for 45 minutes, maybe 5 mins of it until realizing what she is doing, 5 mins on a dragon back is more than enough time to burn a huge amount of people, and that is reason enough not to support her as a queen). The problem is not that build up, anticipation, foreshadowing, that was done, but just how much of a villain she became to just not give a frikking damn about all this innocents life, or not expressing a single regret (what she did in the books after randomly eviscerating and crucifying alive 163 defeated persons in the main square of Meereen in front of their families until the rot enough to fall apart, yes mates, it was just that cruel).

- Grey Worm: all in him made sense; leaving (why would he stay???) wanting  some punishment for his queen’s traitors... But the fact he was actually believing one of those traitors to actually carry out his sentence because said traitor promised? Because his family promised not to give him any shelter?

- Bran being king; well... I understand and I don’t. The truth being said he knows how to fucking play the game without getting his hands any dirty, when he told Tyrion that this was the main reason he went down south I just thought that he actually could do a nice job there, that is Bran for us all people.

- Democracy... bullshit: I didn’t like how it was pushed away as an option, it was almost like a joke which makes sense from a feudal lord perspective but the actual truth is quite different. Democracy never works in a non posmaterialist society; desinformation, lack of stability or knowledge, extreme supersticion... Who would believe the people from the bread riot were worthy of having a vote that would decide the future of the realm, such people are extremely manipulable as it happenned with the high sparrow, or how it is remembered Baelor the Saint, one of the worst kings the seven kingdoms ever had.

Things I can’t understand:

- BRONN AS MASTER OF COIN: Being true I don’t believe it to be your fault George, you were upset about his fate and it makes sense ( SO Ds THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING BY GIVING THE MASTERSHIP OF COIN TO A MAN WHO LITERALLY SEEMS TO NEED ALL OF HIS FINGERS TO COUNT UP TO TEN, THE SEEMINGLY MORE COMPLEX AND TECHNICALLY DEMANDING MASTERSHIP OF A RAVAGED AND BANKRUPTED REALM, I DON’T KNOW WHAT STAR WARS BULLSHIT YOU ARE APPARENTLY RUNNING RIGHT NOW BUT IF I WAS THE PRODUCER YOU WOULD GET FIRED TODAY JUST BECAUSE OF SUCH BULLSHIT).

- Northern independence... and Bran as a King: Why would the north be independent? I come from the Jonsa fandom to all of you and they were a huge amount of people there wanting it but it made no sense. It has been the very first fucking time in seasons that I’ve felt like beating Sansa. One king is peace, and in future generations, moreso with the crown working as it does now, wars between the north and the suth will start again, leading to more disasters, come on George... Does the north really deserve independence? Have they suffered more than anyone else? Some people seem to believe so but it’s not true. During Aegon conquest the north was the part of the 7kingdoms which suffered the less because Torrhen Stark kneeled on time before any battle took place. There have been 2 cultural groups that have suffered Targaryens far more than northerners and just as culturally differentiated from the andals as northerners are. Those are Dornish (Rhoynars), who are famous for resisting Targaryen rule for centuries until Daeron the good succeeded in diplomacy by marrying a dornish princess and giving princess Daenerys in marriage to the prince of Dorne. They have their own succession system (far more advanced that the rest of Westeros). Have they recently suffered less George? Because, if you are going to go with some random prince of Dorne which was never introduced (I expect you not to) that would mean that all prince Doran, Arianne, Quentyn (already happenned), Trystan, Oberyn and Sandsnakes would all be dead by then. And finally the Ironborns: they are first men, they have their own religion and culture, they suffered the first attack from Aegon the conqueror (King Harren the Black was the king of the Iron Islands) remained independent even longer than Dorne (the hedge knight short stories and their mention to Dagon Greyjoy prove me right) and their family has recently fought 2 wars in order to get it back (Balon rebellion and the five kings war). In such wars both of Balon’s oldest son died and Theon was taken as a hostage for his whole life, and in the second, castrated and tortured because of it. So George... And Sansa, why should the north remain independent while the rest doesn’t? Sansa is Bran fucking sister, she is related to him in a closer way than any other fucking lord and yet she is the only one not to accept him as King? THE ACTUAL FUCK? I mean why would anyone else remain in the 7 Kingdoms if the north doesn’t? How can any lord accept such bullshit when they are not related to him and his bloody sister doesn’t? How can anyone defend Bran as a King when he accept such a thing and still say he is unbiased or fair? His actually best lordship support comes from the fucking north! How can Bran first act as a King be accepting his authority to be jeopardize in such a way? I need you to explain it way better on the books George, I really do, because right know it feels like an experiment that would last 2 days and end with Bran and his council heads on spikes.

PLEASE PEOPLE, I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE, WHO YOU STANNED, WHAT ENDGAME YOU WOULD PREFER, IF SOMEONE GETS ANY CLUE, PLEASE JUST ANSWER THIS CALL OF HELP BECAUSE... WELL ALL OF YOU KNOW ALREADY.

[toast-the-unknowing]

lydia-st-james tagged me in a writing in review meme, which, man. That takes me back. I haven't done one of these in ages.

Main take-aways: 1. 2017 was the year of the long-ass fic titles, apparently. 2. It only took ten freaking years but I can mostly write romance without dying of embarrassment. Mostly. 3. Ten years has not been long enough to teach me how to start something and just finish it already before starting twenty more things. Seriously, there are so many stories that I started this year that I keep thinking ya'll have read already and then I remember that no one has read those because I haven't finished them yet. Oh well. Maybe 2018 will be a year of extraordinary personal growth and self-discipline. Spoiler alert: it won't be.

Anyway. These are the things that I've published so far this year.

Listed in chronological order of publication, with one exception:

new worlds for the weary, new lands for the living Okay, so, I don't know if anyone else thinks of any of their stories this way, but I have a very small handful of fics that are my heartsong fics. I don't think of them as being stories. I think of them as being thousands of words of meta and criticism and gushing and character love and, just, me, pouring my heart out over some aspect of canon that is important to me, and then maybe if I'm lucky, I trick people into reading it and thinking it's a story.

Yeah. This is one of those. I started this story before I had even finished Blue Lily, Lily Blue, which is not a thing I do. I always finish canon (to whatever extent canon exists at the time of my joining fandom) before I start writing. But I wanted so badly to write about Adam and Ronan and how I felt about their relationship that I couldn't wait.

This was something like a five month writing process all told, and I'm really happy with the end result. The moment where Ronan smears ink on Adam's face, in particular, I'm very proud of. I'm proud of that whole fight scene, really, but that moment is such a strong visual, and I'm not generally great at creating those.

don't think about how much it will hurt God, I still hate this title, but I do love this fic. It exists because I had been toying around with a canon-divergent AU that I quickly realized was going to take a shit-ton of work and not actually be that interesting. I ditched the AU, but there was one scene I liked enough that I didn't want to give up on it (Ronan trying to provoke Adam into punching him and then holding his hand while wondering wtf he's doing), and I realized it could pretty easily be made canon-compliant and given the legs to stand on its own.

I briefly considered tagging this as "preslash if you consider fighting and bad decisions to be flirting, which if you ship pynch, you probably do," and then I considered how poorly that would match the tone of this story. I am very happy with the tone of this story. It was hard to write, and I think it's hard to read, and it's a better story for it.

the more we move ahead the more we're stuck in rewind NO ONE ON EARTH READ THIS FIC BUT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT I LOVE IT. There are so many, many, many things in this fic that make me happy: -Clarke being an unholy mashup of my sister and talldecafcappuccino -"You thought that there was an intersection of sentimentality and camp that Miller wouldn't be interested in?" -Just, Murphy. All of Murphy. -The Inseparable, Indestructible Blake Siblings (which is when the Blake siblings are at their best, fuck you, canon) -"Do you ever worry that we're going to turn out to be warped people with unhealthy relationships/Honestly at this point I'm counting on it." -the whole scene where Raven friend-dumps Clarke -Monty taking "gas grass or ass" too seriously -Nate's stupid "you know what they say about those guys with Bigfoot" t-shirt (I would wear that t-shirt)

Like, I know why this story wasn't successful as an item of fan culture. And I acknowledge that there are weaknesses in the writing. But I still fucking love it.

so familiar, like an old bedtime song Ugh, this was called "came in quiet with the rain" right up until the very second I published it and then I changed my mind and I still regret it. Never second gues yourselves, kids. (Either way: "Raising Cain" is a good Adam/Ronan song.) I wrote about half of this on a whim and then shoved it in a corner waiting for inspiration for the longer story that I thought it was meant to be a part of. Then I was sitting around on Adam's birthday/my birthday weekend, a little tipsy in the middle of the day, and I decided, nah, this can be a standalone. I'm not kidding myself that it's great literature but I think it does what it sets out to do well.

The Fake Geek Boy Job This is a rare example, for me, of coming up with a title first and writing the story around it. So that was fun. I was so, so, so happy with the response to this fic. I've written case fic before, but I'm not good at heists, and I was really worried that the way I handle the heavier plot elements here – basically cutting around them and explaining all of the offstage action through snarky banter – was going to feel like cheating. Like, there's probably a version of this story that's 20k words longer and is twice as good, but it would have taken ten times as much work. It seems like people understood the plot as it stands and didn't feel robbed, and it was such a relief to hear that.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name IT IS THE PROUDEST ACCOMPLISHMENT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE that there are only two fanfics on AO3 tagged with the relationship tag "Quark & Jake Sisko" and I wrote both of them. Though I fully admit that "Everybody Comes to Quark's" is the better story of the two. This one feels like the first half is from one story and the second half is from a different story and neither of those two stories is complete, per se. But love a lot of the individual lines, character moments, etc. Also, just, any times spend with my beloved ridiculous giraffe boy Jake is good time.

faith, hope, all that bullshit This is the best thing that I have ever written that is based on a typo. And...I don't really know how to talk about this fic beyond that. It took something like seven months of on-again-off-again work; I am super grateful to Pynch Week for giving me the kick in the pants to finish it. There were so many things that were challenging about this – I hated everything in life the entire time I was writing Matthew. Plus trying to write all the characters as being a little older and more mature and their relationships as having progressed. But it was worth it because there are so many moments in this fic that just are still living in my head, even though I've put the fic down.

I think my favorite scene of all is the Christmas Eve scene, partly because I love Declan and partly because I love the "fucking Cain ruined it for the rest of us" exchange. But from a craft point of view I'm proud of that scene a lot. The first scene is its own contained story with beginning/middle/end; the Christmas Eve scene is what makes the proposal scene the beginning of a longer story, and it happens without the POV character understanding that it's happening. I'm pretty happy with how that all turned out.

People really liked the wedding scene, which is gratifying and totally baffling. That scene was murder to write. I don't even want to plan my own wedding, now I got to make one up for someone else? Of course, I mean. I cheated, because I didn't actually write the reception. Maybe the lesson here is if I don't even want to write a scene then for sure no one would want to read it?

Word on the Street This is another one, like The Fake Geek Boy Job, where I think there's a version of the story that's twice as good and eight times as long and a hundred times more work to write; I'm satisfied with my version. Also, I think the longer version is much more serious, whereas this is a comedy and I am happy with it as a comedy. Adam maybe comes off a little poorly, in the way that comedy characters sometimes come off dickish/rude/sociopathic. But it makes me laugh and honestly if I make myself laugh I'm happy. (That's not to say I'm never going to write the epic tale of how Ronan becomes Greywaren – I know what the first line of it is – but it's a real low priority).

come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls OKAY I WROTE THIS IN LIKE LITERALLY TWO DAYS AND YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME. Even just writing something of this length usually takes weeks if not months between when I start it and when I finish it. This was like a dirty little fling, and as someone who never has dirty little flings either in life or in writing, that was a fun change of pace.

The Dragon's Nest Avatar: The Last Airbender is, in my eyes, basically a perfect television show, and it's a lot harder to write fic for something that you think is well-written/complete on its own, because where do you and your fanwriting fit in? As such, this was a challenge, but I'm pretty happy with it. Alchemicink, for whom this was written, mentioned being happy just from seeing the "intergenerational friendship" tag, and I gotta say I was happy just from getting to use that tag. And any day you get to write Toph stomping around yelling at people is a good day.

while we're on the subject, could we change the subject now So credit where credit is due: lydia-st-james gave me the prompts here and put up with my intermittent screeching as I was working on it. It took me a while to get it all done, but I wrote literally 13k words of this in the first four days, which is bonkers; I'm usually much more of a percolator in the early stages of writing. As such a lot of the outlining process is lost to the sands of time. I don't remember making an actual decision to set this in LA; I think my subconscious realized before I did that this was going to be a story about loneliness and depression, and, fairly or unfairly, I associate loneliness and depression with the city of Los Angeles. In any case, it gave me lots of opportunities to throw shade at LA and I'm always down for that, and I've loved hearing people respond to the specificity of the location.

It's funny to me that people are responding to this one so strongly because I don't generally groove on fake dating; I’ve never written it as a trope and I always find it hard to swallow as a reader. I wonder if there's something to be said for writing tropes one is somewhat critical of. Though I don't think, generally, it works out when people write a thing they actively hate. It's a theory I'm tinkering with, anyway.