#my mom even got mad at me once at one of my projects and said I didn't raise a daughter to look like a clown so

[africanamermaid]

Not me as somebody who crochets on the reg getting criticisms/unwanted comments about everything I make:

"You always use the same colors" :/

Me: can't help it I'm a thalassophile and therefore I must always use beige, khaki, turquoise, teal, aqua blues, whites of all shades. Let the coastal creations commence!

"Nice bag. You know, that looks perfect to use only for holidays like Easter"

Me: ...my coastal bag is to be used every time I feel like it. What are you talking about.

"Those oceanic colors don't match with your current outfit so don't use it."

Me: it's not about what looks nice TO YOU but what feels right and fun to use FOR ME.

"Why don't you add (whatever) to your creation. It'd look great if you add (whatever). And, how about next time, you actually use a leather bag bottom instead?"

Me: I don't want to.

"You sure can't take a comment or a slight criticism. Why are you like this?" :/

Me: you sure can't mind your business.

"Why are you doing 2 projects at once. Finish one and start the other I don't get it."

Me: oh you sweet summer child ohohoho...you just don't understand the mind of a crocheter do ya?

"You know, if you make something for somebody it sure won't be coastal themed or whatever. You have to try something different."

Me: who said I'm making anyone ANYTHING? They don't want to pay the correct price for a hand-made creation so that won't be happening. Anyway, ONTO THE COASTAL THEMED SCARF!

[strawberryya]

The art of seduction - part one

pairing: jeong yunho x reader

synopsis: Since she left you, it feels like your life has been turned upside down, and you're struggling to find your footing. He sees that, and he wants to help. Or maybe it's not as pure as that. Perhaps he's just looking for a new plaything — an artist to inspire, or someone to slowly destroy.

word count: 4.5k

genre/cw: angst, smut, suggestive, fantasy, thriller and/or romance, yandere themes, supernatural au, faery au, leanan sídhe!yunho, human!reader, they/them pronounces for reader, I tried my best to keep all descriptions gn as well - I welcome all feedback on this area ofc, grief and death depicted/mentioned, specific smut warnings will be listed in each part.

rating: 18+

a/n: this has been a big project for so many people this year, and I would like to thank all of the inspiring people in this collab for all the fantastic ideas that has been contributed to make all of these fics possible. it has been a journey writing this, but this fic is only the beginning of the even longer journey that yunho and our mc will be going on ;)

this is part one of my first fic for the wonderful collaboration thrill of the hunt, hosted by @cultofdionysusnet - check out the other exciting and thrilling stories on the official master list here!

the second part to this story will be found here once it's posted. if you wish to be tagged in the continuation you can dm me, send an ask, or comment on this post <3

network tagging: @svthub @cultofdionysusnet @k-labels @kvanity-main

“Oh, he’s the most wonderful man I’ve ever met, y/n! He’s perfect… I didn’t think anyone could be so perfect until he came into my life. He makes me feel like I’ll never need anything ever again… like he and I are enough forever. I need you to meet him someday soon! I wanna introduce you to him, I promise you’ll love him too!”

You never got the chance to meet him. The more you think about it, the more you regret not making more of an effort to do so. Your best friend Anna had been in love with someone, and you hadn’t even had the chance to meet the man she spoke so fondly of. 

“I haven’t been feeling very good lately, y/n… I’ve been to the doctors and they say there’s nothing wrong. They said it’s all in my head, that I should go talk to someone… y/n, do you also think I’m making myself sick?” 

She only got weaker after that. 

And he had seemingly fallen off the face of the earth after she became bedridden. 

She said he came to visit, but she wasn’t in her right mind in those final weeks. Nobody had signed in at the reception. Nobody had seen a beautiful man with dark brown hair that gleamed blood-red when the sun shone. During all that time when she was admitted into the psychological ward at the city’s second-largest hospital you and Anna’s mom were the only visitors. 

They said she was mad…

You had wondered a lot about who he might’ve been during those times when she had talked about him as if she had just spoken to him, but nobody had seen anyone in her room. Had he been a fraction of her imagination the entire time? Or had her mind created a lie based on a man who had left her before her illness took over her mind and body? 

When she passed he was the one piece of the puzzle that you couldn’t let go of. If you had tried harder to meet him, would her illness have been caught earlier? Could it have been found and treated before it took her life…?

You’ve been staying late at the studio lately, trying to get through your feelings about losing her through your art. The shadows in the room seem to close in on you at every chance they get, and you don’t fight them. Hugged by the darkness is somehow better than being left so completely alone. 

The brush strokes soothe you like nothing else is able to. Fizzling seas crash along the shore, a looming tree stands barren and alone, and her face appears in the dark clouds. 

The only things you know to be true are that: she is gone, you are in pain, and you can only paint this one single picture. The lonesome tree at the cliff, watching the storms and waves trying to pull the ground away from beneath the large oak tree. You paint it over and over again, day after day, and you haven’t even paid any mind to when other artists have come and gone through the studio. People painted right next to you, people posed on the podium in front of you, and you didn’t care about any of it. All that matters to you is that you have been left all alone. 

Your best friend has died, and you can’t even do the one thing you have been able to do your entire life ー paint. You had pursued your passion fiercely, not budging even as your parents pleaded with you to be reasonable and try “having a career worth having”, and let painting stay as a hobby. It was how you had met Anna. She was a dancer, and she had gotten into the same art college as you. Back then you had both been carefree young adults, simply trying your best to survive on your own for the first time in your lives. Now, she has left you, with the bittersweet taste of the last conversations you had had with her on your tongue. 

“He inspires me you know, I’m just a dancer anymore when he looks at me, I become the air itself.” 

You had smiled and nodded at her nonsense, she seemed to be dreaming of it. Her limbs were too weak to be of use, but she had the same smile on her lips as when she performed. You had tried your best not to be mad at her for only speaking of this man even as she lay dying in a hospital, dreaming of her passion was at least better than dreaming of him. The tears had stung your eyes as you held her hand before leaving her to her rambling. 

It has been a while since her funeral, and you have practically been living at the studio. Home doesn’t make you feel any better, so you sleep on the small pullout couch in the corner instead. It isn’t meant to be slept on and your back is sore from the many nights in a row you have spent on it. But the art studio is at least comforting you more than home. You have too many memories of Anna in your apartment. Here you can focus on your art. At least, that’s the idea. You have had no inspiration since her death. It’s strange, she hadn’t exactly been the reason you painted, but everything that happened still affected even that part of you. 

You had begun questioning if you should give it all up, move home to your parents for a few months, and go back to your waitress job until you had processed all of this. But could you give up on your passion? After years of struggling to pass courses and hustling on the side of your studies just to make it all work? What would Anna say if she knew…?

You aren’t sure how it happened, it might've been a dream. It’s barely been three weeks since Anna’s funeral and you woke up with the clearest picture of a man you had never met in your mind. 

He’s handsome, just like she had told you. He has gentle features, and dark, captivating eyes that catch hold of your mind and refuse to let go. You can’t seem to escape the image of the stranger you know in your bones is the same man Anna had known. 

Sometime after the day you had first seen him in your mind, after hours in front of your easel and a blank canvas, you finally force yourself to pick up the brush. This couldn’t be the end of pursuing the only career you had ever wanted. You need to get over it and paint something, other than that stubborn tree and the punishing sea. His features burn your eyelids, and you see him as you blink and dream of him as you sleep. You can’t escape the visions, so you make him real, tangible. You create a portrait of the man in your head. Watching the finished portrait once you put down the brush. 

You look at it until it gets dark again, staring into his eyes until you fall asleep on the couch in the corner. 

You wake up with a headache. You groan quietly since you neither have the energy nor the will to get up and take something for the throbbing pain stemming from the sides of your head. Before you could even summon the will to get up despite this, you almost jumped off the couch in surprise. There is another person in the room. You’re still in the corner of the room, so the stranger might’ve missed that you were even there, you reason. It looks like a man from behind. His short dark hair lay in a rather messy way against the back of his head. He’s turned away from you, watching the painting you had fallen asleep staring at. He’s tall, his shoulders are broad. You panic, because what did this man want, and why was he here in the middle of the night?

“Who are you?” you ask breathlessly, jumping up from the couch, trying to see if he’s someone you know in the dim light. Could he be another artist here to paint at an odd hour? You don’t recognize him, but you aren’t the best at remembering people, so you’re not sure if you should be screaming or apologizing for your hostile greeting. 

The man didn’t even flinch at the sound of your voice. He didn’t seem like a threat, but then again, something about him creeped you out. You ignore the fact that he also intrigued you, and try to catch his attention again. “Hey, I asked you a question.” In response, he simply raises a hand as if to shush you. 

This man hadn’t just broken into the studio late at night – he was also incredibly rude. The air around him is so still, so calm that it’s giving you chills. You want to see his face. If he was going to murder you, you want to have looked the fucker in the eye so you can, at least, curse his existence. You take a step forward, grabbing a long paintbrush from the drying rack. Maybe you can get his eye if you’re fast enough.

“So aggressive, little dove,” the man finally says. His voice is smooth and deep. It’s an attractive voice, at least your murderer has a nice voice, not that that makes this situation salvageable. You’re still prepared to stab him with the wooden brush in your hand. 

“Wouldn’t you be aggressive if you woke up to a stranger in your bedroom as well?” 

You had tried putting on a brave face, hoping that he wouldn’t notice how scared you were. He seemed to see through this facade easily though, chuckling at your attempt instead of turning around to face you. “Not your bedroom. I’ve been to your bedroom and this isn’t it. Also, not really a stranger, am I?” 

Your breath won’t calm down, and your heart is beating mercilessly in your chest. This man had been in your apartment? And you know him? What the hell is he talking about? “Are you some kind of stalker you fucking creep?” you wheeze out, taking a step away from him. 

You desperately wish for this to be some kind of nightmare. 

When he turns around you’re sure it is because there’s no way the man you see in front of you isn’t just a fiction of your imagination. Dark hair, streaks of red when the light from the window hits it. Perfect lips, and captivating eyes. It’s him. The man in your painting, alive right in front of you. Your grip on the brush tightens, the bristles folding backward from the pressure of your palm. The world began to spin, he wasn’t real, he couldn’t be real. You see the edges of your vision blur and his smile widens at the visible panic you were displaying. 

He was right, he isn’t a stranger. 

“I think you might’ve heard about me, little dove. She used to talk about you ー the talented artist she had met in college.”

It couldn’t be, you hear the blood rushing in your ears like thunder. “Who?” 

He smiled innocently, “Don’t you remember your friend? Anna, I think her name was.” 

No. It couldn’t be true. The brush fell from your hand as you fell to the ground. Your already sleep-deprived mind couldn’t handle the thought that maybe the man Anna had spoken about was real, and right in front of you. Knocking yourself unconscious was the only thing your body could do to stop your heart from giving out. 

Have you gone mad as well? Maybe this was your way of grieving? Should you go to the hospital?

The questions spun in your mind. He was gone when you woke up. But the long brush in your hand and the bruises on your knees and shoulder felt like substantial proof that you had not lost your mind. He had been here, you know it, but who would believe you if you told them? Who would even care?

You decide to let it go, instead, you force yourself to go back to your apartment. A change of clothes was needed and you know that the lady down the hallway will be worried after not having seen you for days yet again. She had been at Anna’s funeral, wondering how and why your roommate had passed so quickly at such a young age. You hadn’t known what to answer. You still didn’t have your own answers as to “how” or “why”. At least, none that you could share…

You had managed to shower and get into some clothes when your neighbor knocked on the door. 

“Hi, Auntie,” you greet her as she had insisted you do ever since you and Anna had first moved in. She’s older than any of your real aunts, but remarking on that had felt incredibly inappropriate, so you had both simply accepted your fate and begun calling her “Auntie”. 

"Darling!" How are you? I haven't seen you here in days! I was beginning to worry. You know, this was just how it was with Anna, I didn’t see her for days and then she would show up saying she had been busy practicing and dating and whatnot!”

You don’t respond, forcing a smile. She meant well, but when she insisted on bringing you some food you wanted to refuse her. She didn’t mind your protests, “Oh, dear child, you don’t even know how sunken your face looks. You need some of my home-cooked food to get your spirits back up!” 

In the end, your refrigerator was filled with casseroles and little boxes of different dishes, and a bitter feeling, knowing you wouldn’t be here to eat it. You left your apartment as swiftly as you had arrived, not wanting to stick around long enough to see the traces of a life lived – a life you didn’t feel belonged to you anymore. You brought what you could carry in your bag back to the studio. 

You fall asleep again, after hours of trying to create something, only creating more pain in your back from sitting on the wooden stool all afternoon instead. It’s not like you hadn’t tried your best to think about anything else besides him, you had actually tried your very best! But in the end, your mind kept wandering back to the dip of his lips, and the grin on his face as you fainted. You painted the outline of his lips, over and over again. 

You hated him. 

Would he come back?

He had mocked you with his words.

Why had you felt such a rush when he spoke?

You never wanted to see his perfect face ever again.

Why couldn’t you stop wishing to see him just one more time? 

You woke from a cool hand on your hair. Slowly and gently he patted your head until you opened your eyes. It was still dark out, and he was back. Leaning over your sleeping body, a large hand caressing the side of your head. You scream, and he smirks. He shushes you, and you push him away angrily. 

“What the fuck are you doing?!” you shout. 

“You wanted to see me again, I thought it best to wake you so your wishes could be fulfilled.” His voice coursed through you, giving you goosebumps again. “Don’t be angry with me, little dove.”

“I don’t want you here.”

“Don’t lie. It’s not polite,” he retorts as soon as the words leave your mouth. 

“I don’t care, I hate you. Leave me alone!” You bark out the words, tears stinging your eyes. You don’t know why you’re reacting so strongly to him. 

His tongue darts out to lick at his lips in annoyance. “Little dove,” he chirps menacingly, “Lie one more time and I won’t help you anymore.”

He terrifies you. He’s beautiful, but nothing about him feels true. He’s like those beautiful flowers forever trapped inside glass orbs. You wanted to protect the frozen beauty from getting the slightest scratch and smash it to pieces, all at once. 

“Help me…?”

The gentle smile on his lips came back when you revealed that he had managed to pique your interest. “Mm, I help people. Artists, especially… it’s an interest of mine, the arts.” He winked at you, which caught you off guard. 

“And you came here to help me?” 

He nodded, but you weren’t convinced. 

“Why? I didn’t ask for any help from you.”

He looked around the room, gaze wandering over the canvasses you had painted in the last couple of weeks, all depicting the shore and the dead tree. All except two. The portrait of him, and the sketches of his lips. 

“You did that?” You ask incredulously. His gaze snaps back to you sharply. 

“Of course. Didn’t it feel different? It felt like you had been inspired by something again, did it not?” His voice is honey in your ears, but the sticky feeling is making you want to flee for your life. You don’t. 

“Want me to prove it?”

You frown, “What do you mean prove it? Are you going to inspire me to paint something on the spot in the middle of the night?”

“Tell me you want it and I’ll make sure you feel inspired for the rest of your miserable human life, little dove.” 

His wording is so unnatural, you think for just a moment. You don’t trust him one bit, but perhaps this is the way to convince yourself that he is indeed just some creep that you need to get away from. You take a deep breath before answering, “I’ll agree if you tell me your name.”

The man stepped back, you had made him flinch. You don’t know why you made that exact demand. Maybe you had just really wanted to call him something other than “the one Anna spoke of” in your mind. It hurt each time you remembered her name.

“A name can be more powerful than you think, little dove,” his tone warned you of something. He seems on edge for the first time since you met him. 

You don’t budge, his reaction only makes you more sure that you need to follow your gut. “Tell me, and you can help me.”

He hesitated before seemingly giving in to some innate need that you didn’t understand yet. “Yunho. That’s one of my names… Use it with care, little dove.”

You turned his name around in your mind, tasting the sweet taste on your tongue as you said it out loud. “Yunho… Sure, help me find inspiration to paint again.”

The same excited and menacing grin he had worn the last time you spoke now grace his lips again, and you feel you have committed a horrible mistake. 

You look around the room, the sun is rising and casting long shadows from the easels placed around the podium. How has the entire night already passed you by? You have no memory of sleeping. You look at your hands, they are covered in paint. Why had you been so messy? You couldn’t remember right away. You know that you have painted. Yunho had kissed your hand, you can still remember the heat of his breath on your skin. Then you had picked up your brush. You hadn’t been frightened by the fact that you weren’t in control of your actions. After the weeks of forcing yourself to do the most basic human functions to stay alive, having something else move your hand in your stead was somehow freeing. 

When you look at the canvas your breath stops. It’s him, you have painted him again. He’s not completely like himself, however, he is just as captivating in the picture as he is in reality. You had managed to capture his beautiful features, from the way his cupid’s bow dips graciously on his lips, to the way his hair gleams blood red when light shines through it. But behind him is something new, something you have never seen belonging to a human before. Wings, almost translucent wings, appearing on the canvas as a shimmer of light blue and white, adorned with shimmering ruby gemstones. He looked magnificent. 

“Pretty,” you hear his voice whisper on your neck before you feel his soft lips press against your skin. You shiver, it feels good but you’re still in shock, watching the man who’s behind you on the canvas in front of you. 

“How is this possible?” you mumble.

“You were inspired,” he responds calmly, brushing your hair away from your face from behind. “Did you enjoy it?”

You have a feeling that the answer to that is yes, but you also know you shouldn’t reveal that. “I don’t remember.”

“I think you did… I know you did.” 

The way he seems to know everything, even the things you don’t, scares you a bit. But you might be addicted to the feeling of his touch, you’re addicted to what he can do to you, addicted to what he makes you feel deep inside. He has given you your passion back, he has helped you paint again, and you had enjoyed it this time. This shouldn’t be possible. Why does this man have so much power over you that he could help you paint as you had used to, for the first time since Anna’s passing? 

There’s no way he’s human, no human looked like he did. In the morning light, he was even more dashing, even more unreal. You want to smash his perfect exterior to pieces and see the flower inside rot as the air hits its delicate petals. 

“Go away. I don’t want this,” you choke out, pushing down the sobs that threaten to escape your throat. He kisses your neck again, but you don’t move. “I think I’ll die if I don’t end this Yunho. Please, just leave me alone.”

“It’s possible, but maybe you’ll be the one who makes it out alive.” His honey voice rang in your ears as the day began and his touch against your back disappeared. You cried yourself to sleep. You knew everything was wrong, Yunho was wrong. But there was nothing you could do about it anymore. 

Two days passed without so much as a glimpse of Yunho. The hours of the night when he didn’t come to see you had almost been enough to convince you that you had truly gone mad. But then, suddenly, there he was, as dashing as ever. Pretty eyes watching you stare at an empty easel. 

A chilling chuckle escaped him, nothing more. He stands and gazes upon your hopeless state for a while in silence. You will never get rid of him, you realize. You’re not upset about it. You can’t be upset. Nothing feels real anymore. 

Yunho circles you, a predator watching his prey. You don’t flinch under his gaze this time. When he leans his lean body against the stool next to yours you feel disgusted. You weren’t upset that he would never leave you alone, but you deserved to know why, at least. 

“What do you want from me?”

“Want?” He sounds almost offended. 

“You’re not here just because it’s fun to sit around and watch me paint all day.”

He didn’t give you an answer, he just smiled at you with that perfectly enchanting smile of his. He’s dangerous, his beauty is dangerous. He leans forward on the stool, his face now scarily close to yours. Will he kiss you…? You can feel Yunho’s breath, hot against your lips, his gaze burning as he stares into your eyes and flickers down to your mouth. Do you want him to kiss you…? 

What do you want from him?

You almost forget that he hasn’t given you an answer when he bends forward, his lips inches away from yours. This time you do flinch. Can he read your mind too? No, your eyes stare right back into his, a flash of maroon tints his irises an unnatural color before it disappears just as fast as it showed up. 

His thumb drags across the side of your cheek, a small smirk plays on Yunho’s deceptive lips. “I’ll make you a promise,” he whispers, “I promise to make sure you’re motivated to do what you love the most, for the rest of your life.”

His breath burns hot against your wet lips. You want to kiss him. “A promise…?” you exhale, mind not quite able to focus on his words, but they sound good to you right now. You swallow, eyes flickering to his perfectly shaped cupid bow, his rosy lips, and the tongue that teases behind his plump lips. “What… what would I have to do…?” 

“A clever dove, I knew you would ask the right questions.”

You didn’t truly understand though, too distracted by Yunho’s eyes mirroring your flickering gaze, teasingly watching the way your hands fiddled with the brush in your hand. 

“All you have to do in return is say that you agree, and I will fulfill all of your wishes.” His soothing hand moves around to the nape of your neck, his grip gentle but secure. 

Will he fulfill them all? 

Does it even matter? Almost anything would be good enough to accept right now, at least you can’t think of something that would be worse than walking through life as the zombie you had been since… Since Anna’s death. If you accept his proposal, will you find out what happened to her? 

“I agree.” 

Your stomach flips when plush lips are pressed against yours. It seems he had already begun living up to his word. At least he wasn’t playing a trick on you when it came to that part. His hands travel over your body, he knows exactly how to touch you the way you like it. Has he been watching you for a long time? Or is it something magical, like those shimmery wings you had imagined he had? You’re not sure, but knowing could wait until later. Right now you have a couple of needs. Needs that Yunho had promised to fulfill. His leg firmly presses open your legs, strong muscle relieving some of the intense pressure that had built up in your lower abdomen since the thought of having him in this way had sprouted in your mind. You need more. You close your eyes even tighter as you let the brush fall from your grip. Hands moving across Yunho’s perfect form without hesitation. 

The sound of the brush hitting the floor didn’t reach your ears. You were already lost to the world of humans. 

“Do you believe in fairies? I do. I think there are things we don’t know in this world. Magical things. If I could go there I would, I think it’s a beautiful place, nothing like Earth. I’d want to dance for them…”

Reblogging and commenting is highly appreciated!! Hearing what you thought is what makes writing and being here overall so much fun! Ty and ily 💕

[lianaloverr]

I Hate You, Right?

Paring: Non-streamer Quackity (Alex) x fem!reader

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Hello! I’m Liana and this is my first fan-fiction! It’s so nice to meet you. Pls don’t judge my writing it’s my first time lol.

Summary: you and Alex have been enemies since 3rd grade. After you thought it was the end of the world when you two got paired up for a project, you realized he wasn’t as bad as you thought.

Warnings: fluffy (kinda), use of real name.

3rd person

Really short!

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*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

“Ughhhh.” 5 more minutes. “Y/n wake up!” Mom says. *sigh* “I’m up!”

You slide out of bed and start getting ready to go back to hell. You wear *your choice* clothes for school. “Y/n, hurry and come eat breakfast before the bus comes!” “Okay!” You say. You walk down the stairs to smell that sweet smell of pancakes and syrup. You eat your food and wait for the bus.

*time skip to school*

You hop off the bus and start walking to the doors. Once you walk in you hear a familiar voice. “Hey y/n.” It was Alex. “What do you want?” You say, aggravated already. “Woah calm down, I can’t just say hi?” He says. “No actually.” You say as you walk away. You never really thought of why you hated Alex, it was just something about him getting on your nerves. Even since you met in 3rd grade you were at each other’s necks all the time. Like this one time in 5th grade, he tripped you in the hallway right in front of your crush. So you got him back by putting glue in his seat, it was funny nonetheless. But even all of this hatred you have for each other you couldn’t lie and say you’ve never had a crush on him. But since you were enemies, you never thought of asking him out, so you pushed your feelings to the side and kept the rivalry going. You snap out of you thoughts as you approach your first period, math.

*time skip to 5th period*

“Hello class! Today we have a project that you are going to work with a partner for it. But I will be choosing your partners.” Visible anger came form the class. “Okay settle down! Let me name off the people who are working together.” All the sudden you hear a voice behind you. “Hey y/n. I hope we’re partners. That means I’ll get to annoy you even more.” Alex said. “You know, I hope we’re not partners. Because if we are, it’s not gonna be good.” You say. “You know it’s a privilege to work with me!” Alex said. You roll your eyes, “you’re so full of yourself.”, you say as you turn back around.

“Okay, Max and Sarah. Keith and Liz. Y/n and Alex..” “What what!?” You say. “You heard me miss y/n. You will be working with Alex.” The teacher says. “Please there has to be someone else to work with!” You say. “No. You work with Alex or you get an 0.” You sigh as you look back at a smirking Alex. “This is gonna be fun.” He says. Oh boy…

*times skip to the end of school*

“You will not believe who I got paired up with!” You say to your friend. “I got pai-“ “Hey y/n!” You hear from behind you. “Ugh what?” You say, already knowing it was Alex. Do you want to work on the project at my house tomorrow?” Alex says.*sigh* “Sure, why not.” “Cool I’ll give you the address tomorrow at school! Bye partner!” He says as he runs off to catch his bus.

Although you acted mad about it, you didn’t feel all that bad about working with him. You were nonetheless curious on what his house looked liked or what he did in his free time.

But nothing could’ve prepared you from what will happen when you spend the next week with him working on the project.

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Heyy! Thank you for reading part 1! It wasn’t really well done, so it would be very much appreciated if you told me the mistakes I made! Tell me if you want part 2!

Part 1/?

[mm-275]

MILES MORALES HEADCANNONS 2

Request: yes

tw: none i think?

- Ok so I think that he listens to a little of all genres of music. Like he’s cool with everything but there’s a few songs or artists that he doesn’t fw

- He will make you make him a playlist so he can listen to it when he misses you and he’ll make you a playlist BUTT he’ll be nervous to send it to you, so when your like “bitch where’s my playlist?” he’s like “you actually wanted it”

- This boy BEGGED his parents for Spotify premium and they finally got it for him when there was like 3 months free near his birthday (he cried)

- When you find out he’s spiderman (you’d probably get mad he’s dropping dates and stuff so you confront him and he tells you) you make sure he’s always safe

- He drops by your house sometimes when he gets hurt after a fight or something and you patch him up. Now you keep a first aid kid in your room for him

- When he gets involved with the Spider Society, you get involved. He trusts you with EVERYTHING, so he tells you everything, and eventually you meet all of them.

- You get along with almost all of his friends there. After hearing what Miguel did, you don’t trust him around Miles and Miles doesn’t trust Miguel around you, so he tried to keep you as far away from him as possible.

- Gwen takes awhile to get used to you, but she eventually warms up when she realizes Miles is happy with you.

- Peter B introduces you to Mayday and you hold her and play with her and PB is like “if you don’t keep her I will”

- Hobie appreciates that you make Miles happy and therefore he doesn’t mind you at first. I think he’d be hesitant but he warms up to you (you guys become best friends)

- Pav is so sweet i don’t think anyone couldn’t immediately love him. You and him sit together and gush about eachothers s/o’s all the time and give eachother advice.

- Remember when he was texting his dad and had a bunch of typos because he was fighting a villain? He always responds to you, therefore most of his texts are illegible 😭

- He’s super smart (obviously), but will make you/his mom read over his school essays just in case.

- I think that he wouldn’t use a ton of pet names. Maybe a few sometimes, but would mostly use your name and a few nicknames hes made up (he has one that only he’s allowed to call you)

- Absolutely cannot play an instrument for shit. Gwen and Hobie have tried to teach him, and if you play an instrument you have too, but he gives up.

- He would be decent at most sports, but he’s the type of kid to only do gym for the required credits, and doesn’t go out of the way to play. If friends or you ask to play something with him, he would.

- Once you guys are together for a little, he would bring you to all the family functions. Cousins wedding? you’re there. Fourth of July celebration? He’s dragging you around to all of his family members.

- His mom would make him dress up for all of the holidays (my mom too), like at Christmas he’s in an ugly sweater and his mom is taking 10 photos of all of their matching sweaters (this is a self projection)

- Asks if he can adopt every dog and cat in the alleyways.

- He would know how to do a few origami pieces and does them in class when he’s bored and then gives them to you

- Draws on the corners and in the margins of your papers in class

- Watches CoryxKenshin and either youtube or spotify will be playing in the background of his room at all times.

- Before you guys meet eachothers parents, your screen time would be like 15+ hours from how much you guys would’ve facetimed

- Said this in the last part, but I have to bring this back. He LOVES holding your hand. He’s late to class to hold your hand down the hallways.

- He refuses to split the pole. He’s not even superstitious he just thinks it’s weird 😭

- He’s picky asf. Chicken tenders are his best friend (me too)

—————————

sorry this is so short i ran out of ideas.

im thinking of doing these with another character like e42 miles or hobie? idk lmk

[snappedsky]

ROTTMNT: You Are Not Alone Epilogue

The End.

*Reblogs appreciated*

--

Epilogue

One month later

Casey walks through the lair. He’s dressed in recently bought clothes, cleaner and more relaxed than he’s been in years.

He goes into the med bay where he does his usual, daily routine. He makes sure everything is clean; he checks the IV bag and changes it if he has to; he records the vitals, making sure they’re stable.

Finally, he sits in his chair and takes a deep breath.

“Hi, Sensei.”

Leonardo lies in the bed, completely unconscious. He’s been in a coma since the Krang battle ended a month ago. He had received a much needed blood transfusion immediately after and all of his injuries have long since healed- even the nasty crack down his shell is now just a scar. Most of the healing was done during his power surge from the Hamato ninpo, but everyone figures that’s also why he’s comatose. His body is beyond exhausted.

“So, today we went to Run of the Mill Pizza again,” Casey says, “Señor Hueso finally agreed to put our picture up on his Wall of Champions for saving the world. Leo wouldn’t stop hugging him. And he said he’d give us free pizza when you come to see him, mostly just to prove that you’re real. He still doesn’t believe that you’re from the future.”

“Cass got mad at me again today when I accidentally called her Mom. I’m getting better about it, but I still forget sometimes. I told her it’s just because I’ve gotten so comfortable around her that sometimes I forget. She said that it’s fine if I only do it once in a while. Then Leo and Mikey made fun of her for blushing and she punched them. She really is the same.”

“April and Sunita showed me around the city some more. They took me to Central Park, and Times Square, and we did a bunch of shopping. I’m getting better about being around people. And I’ve found out I like buying clothes. I got a nice pair of boots and Sunita painted my nails black. They look really cool.”

“April said I should go to school to learn more about the modern world. Donnie said there’s nothing he can’t teach me, and Cass said there’s nothing I can’t learn on the street. I told them that Master Donatello taught me all kinds of things so I think I’m okay.”

“The guys showed me another Lou Jitsu movie last night. It’s even better than the stories you used to tell me. And Master Splinter had a bunch of stories about the productions. Then we watched a Jupiter Jim movie, but Splinter didn’t like that one as much. I think they’re all great.”

[withacapitalp]

I love your Steve as 007 au!!! Especially how unique it is, (spoilers: with Steve’s parents being Martin Brenner and Connie Frazier) it’s super cool!!! And no pressure if you’re not doing it anymore, but I’d love to see where it goes from here :D

So that one is on the back burner while I finish out my current three WIPs. Once those are done, I think that one and my cyoa are my next projects (Along with the never ending one shots I have) God I write too much

Anyway all that to say, I will continue it eventually, but here take a random little snippet from it!!

"Steve's just always known when we weren't okay," Carol sniffed, pressing the tissue under her eyes, even though she hadn't really started crying, "I just thought it was one of those Steve things, you know,"

"Known?" Nancy asked, unsure of exactly what she meant.

"Known," Carol answered, giving the other girl a watery smile, "He knew when my mom died. I found out in the morning- car accident. I locked myself in my room and just wailed the entire day. I cried so hard I threw up, and I thought I was never gonna stop. Then I heard a knock on my window, and Steve and Tommy were there."

Nancy had known Carol's mom had passed away when they were all thirteen, but she had known in the removed factual kind of way. The way a person knows that wars happen, or people's homes burn down. Detached.

But now she could see it in her head. A small Carol who was only Mike's age wrapped up in her bed, sobbing into her pillows, lifting her head to see her two favorite people staring at her from the window.

It hurt to think about.

"They had stolen his dad's car, because Steve had gotten a really bad stomachache, and said that I was hurting. Tommy just believed him, because that's how he is,"

Nancy knew that well. If Steve even said jump, Tommy would be begging to know how high. It had always been kind of pathetic to her, but now she could see it for what it was. Loyalty to a fault.

She didn't say any of that, just handed Carol another tissue and waited for her to keep going.

"It was the first time Steve ever tried driving and god his dad was mad. Smacked Steve right across the face and told him to never even think of doing something like that again. But he did. When Tommy's dad left, he drove to my house and told me that Tommy wasn't okay. I had assumed Steve called Tommy, but when we got there, he had no idea we were showing up. " Carol noisily blew her nose, and tossed it in the trashcan by their feet.

"I thought it was something special for just the three of us."

[frogtossing]

i had such an amazing time in Cologne yesterday… i feel extremely hungover but it’s was so worth it.

it was so so nice to hang out with @echoes-of-mia again, you’re literally the chillest person ever irl and it was so fun to experience the concert with you :D 🫶

i met so many cool people while queueing (like the lovely @mogoce-nocoj who i got to talk with some more after the concert :D (even if i might have been a bit quiet, i was still processing the concert :P)), literally the best queue experience i’ve had compared to the other concerts i’ve been to (which were also nice!!! but i was a bit too shy to engage with people so i missed out a bit on the community aspect of queueing :<). i got so many cute bracelets and in turn got to give out a couple of mine :3. and i got some fucking beautiful stickers!!! the insanely pretty Kris sticker by the talented @autoantonyms and the stunning ASTP + Joker Out Köln stickers by @/vem.da.kris on Instagram!!!! so sad that the Dopamin fan project didn’t work out :( i really hoped they’d played it!!!

the concert itself was so so fun. before the show started, someone handed me those slay pose glasses and they’re so fucking cool??? and i also hastily traded some more bracelets inbetween the openers :D

also, wow, the stage design by @as-artrat-racik was so fucking beautiful in real life. i was genuinely floored by it!!!! and once the concert started, he first thing i noticed was everybody’s hair???? a bit random but Bojan’s hair looked super nice (like the length it’s at atm???) and omg, Nace mullet real????? + it’s impressive how long Kris’ hair has gotten again, compared to the last time i saw him on stage :0.

and i’m so glad i decided to abstain from listening to any recordings of any of the new songs because let me tell you, experiencing Šta Bih Ja live for the first time was a fucking religious experience. that song fucks so hard i need it injected into my veins IMMEDIATELY. and i love how they were peer pressured by the crowd to play Schlager even if it wasn’t planned LMAO. and it was such a pleasant surprise too! such a fun song which really reminded me a lot of some of Arctic Monkey’s calmer songs (like Mad Sounds). showed my recording of it to my mom earlier today and she said it might be her new favorite of theirs and that i should tell her once it’s out haha.

i love the incorporation of a keyboard in their shows now!!! Metulji with Jan on the keyboard was so nice, as was Everybody’s Waiting!! and i gotta say, i’m not a fan of EW but hearing it live was so so nice. i loved the staging of it all so much??? with it starting off by Bojan being all alone on stage, playing the keyboard and then slowly the others join him.. it was so awesome!!! never thought it would hit so differently live :0

the UM karaoke was so much fun and i heard so many lovely voices but i lost complete track of Bojan at some point 😭 he just vanished lmao.. also Sector 5 walked right past me??? i didn’t realize who they were at first and i just went ‘wait a sec those people look familiar’, so that was fun HAHA.

i got some merch after the concert and whew, that was maybe the most stressful part of the concert. poor Vita was the only one working at the merch stand and it was obvious that she was a bit stressed by the masses of people flocking to it :(. i love the shirt i got, even if i wanted to by the black tour shirt at first :D

i wish i could have given Nace the bracelet i made for him all the way back in June/July of last year (when i wasn’t even sure if id ever get to see JO live :’3) but it’s okay, ill be taking it as in excuse to see them live once again if i get the chance to 💪 (ill be earning my own money soon so that means i might be able to attend international gigs as well :D!) who knows what the future holds!

TLDR; I had an extremely fun time, Joker Out are so worth it to see live and there are so many amazing and talented fans out there, it blows me away every time. i’m really happy to be a part of this fandom <3

[thelightningthatjumpsbetween]

Twenty

RE8 | Wintersberg | Romance, Slow Burn | Action, Sci-Fi

Sequel of Winters and the Beast, a Resident Evil: Village Story

Table Of Contents

Ethan's Journal

August 31

Today started off by getting stabbed by someone who looked almost identical to Karl.  Turns out it was his identical twin.  What I don’t understand is what he said when he stabbed me.  Who tells somebody “Don’t cave” and then stabs them?? 

The good news is that I healed fast…we have time to figure out how to help the Mutamycete without sending Eva back. 

I do feel pain around where the wound was, but hopefully that will go away soon too. Eva says I might be healing fast because I know how to ‘focus’ on healing now.  

Karl has been with Donna most of the day.  It was weird how she just randomly started remembering her life, and it happened faster than mine did.  Karl has been sad all day too, but he won’t say much–Typical.  At least Rose is in a good mood!  We played outside until the storm clouds showed up.  And now I’ve been sorting through the things we got in the mail.  It’s nice to have a break from thinking about “Mold stuff”. 

Then around 5, we got more visitors.  Maricara, Alina, and Lidia!  It is so great to see them.  They haven’t stopped by since Rose’s party.  Maricara said that the Duke was in their village to trade, and told her about Donna.  She came with a basket of fabric, a big sewing kit and a bunch of supplies. I guess they’re going to try to help Donna with some project.  Maricara knew her real mom so Donna has someone to talk to about her family.  They’re the best kind of people.  I offered them all their old rooms upstairs, they’re going to stay for the weekend.  

So even though the day started out pretty bad, it’s looking up. Let’s hope it stays that way.  

Karl and I are going to the field tonight. I'm happy that he’s finally on board with confronting Miranda even if we’re not ready to fight her yet.  She can’t come into this world and I believe Godric when he says she can’t take Rose either. All I can hope is that Karl gets answers about his brother.  I’ve never seen him so agitated, unless you count after I killed “Sturm” …he was pretty mad, but that was nothing compared to this.  I’m a little nervous about seeing Mia…if she knew Miranda all those years ago, maybe Miranda did something with her identity too?  It turns my stomach to think about, but I need to know….I’m tired of not knowing things.  

Ethan rubbed his eyes and stared at the journal entry.  The intense eyes of the Heisenberg twin, moved onto paper by way of his pencil, glared up at him, and he closed the leather-bound book.  With a sigh he stared out the window at the mostly grey sky; stars were out already, and clouds moved quickly underneath them.  Thunder had rumbled most of the afternoon, but no rain yet fell.  As Ethan watched, lightning flickered across the valley that once-was Heisenberg’s Factory, below the cliffs.  

Were they crazy to go down there?  They’d discussed where specifically to venture–Heisenberg’s idea was over the obliterated ceremony site.  Not only was it over the original location of Miranda’s lab, it was where the Mutamycete had lived before Chris’s explosives.  Since its regrowth, the central nervous system of the Mold was now away from that site.  But if any of the underground cavern systems remained–Heisenberg swore that he could sense them with his powers-then the Mold itself was powerful in that area.  Eva had agreed with this.  

It wasn’t a bad idea, but Ethan was even less enthused about going back there than he had been to go to Dimitrescu’s castle.  It was, in a sense, Ethan’s death place.  Well…one of them?  He wondered if Miranda would be able to manifest there in different ways, if the Mold would help her.  It seemed to in the past, even with Eva and Rose working against her.  

The office door opened and Eva entered, looking particularly solemn.  Ethan turned his gaze from the brewing storm, and managed a faint smile for his friend.  

“Rose having fun seeing her friends?” 

“She is,” Eva said with a grin, “But I believe Maricara is the most happy.  She says Rose will say her name soon.” 

“That’s a lot of syllables even for me,” Ethan protested, stretching at the desk.  As he moved to push the seat back, Eva stayed him with a hand, and then pulled a stool away from the wall, to sit next to him.  

“I need to tell you something.”  She had papers in her hand–Ada’s research, he could see. 

“Okay.”  Ethan raised an eyebrow.  “You’re sitting down.  That means…?”

“It means it is important,” Eva said with a heavy breath.  “Not bad.  Yes?  Just…important.” 

“Is it about Karl?  Is he okay?” 

“He is fine.  I think it is about all of us,” she said, tilting her head as if she were uncertain.  “He read this first, while Donna slept and he stayed to watch over her.  He wanted me to make you aware of it as soon as possible.” 

“Why couldn’t he?”

Eva scratched her hair awkwardly.  “I do not think he is in a mood to talk much.” 

“Fair enough.”  Ethan had worked for months to get the reclusive engineer to talk in the first place, and most of what Ethan knew about Heisenberg’s past came from accidentally stepping into the other man’s thoughts and mind.  And now Heisenberg was handing off important information through Eva.  The blond massaged his temple, wishing there was more that he could do, but he finally leaned back in the leather chair.  “All right, hit me.” 

Eva’s confused stare reminded him that she’d not been in a human world for many years.  

“I mean….show me what you’ve got.” 

The blond woman thumbed through papers, moving to a paragraph with sloppily made notations beside it, slashed in red pen.  Heisenberg. 

Ethan abruptly made a noise and held up his hand.  “Wait.  This isn’t…your….mother’s writing, is it?”

“No, it is from the biologists in Ada’s organization.  She translated it for added security.”  Eva tapped the paperwork. “They seem to be simply trying to understand the Mold, rather than using it for weapons.  Although the same cannot be said for other, adjacent organizations.” 

“Right.” 

She began to read aloud, impressively translating the German to English as she went.  

“...Questions arise then as to the sentience of the Mold itself.  If considering the widely accepted model of consciousness which suggests that sentience and awareness are broadly grounded in the biology of the cell, it becomes obvious that firstly, the Mold is keenly aware of its environment.  It is very much like other fungi when mapping: its mycelium expands, detects the physical structure of its surroundings and responds to the availability of food and the presence of other organisms. The overall pattern of branching is determined by the genetic code, but the exact positions of each branch are dictated by the character of the environment. 

For this reason, the shape of each colony is never reproduced. The individual fungus is unique, much like how no two humans are exactly alike.  As this organism’s basis for operation, its “fungal brain”, has obviously imitated the human brain network, this calls defensive and survival mechanistics into question.  

Pathogenic fungal mycelia such as this mold and many others respond to their environment when they invade a host. Species which target humans have been shown to modify their growth form to become more invasive as the infection develops. These responses are genetically programmed and not learned behaviors, but the mold is able to grasp things about its environment and show that it learns.  

This leads to our report result: 

We have concluded that this Mold affects its hosts emotionally. 

Nowhere is this more obvious and evident than in witnessing behavior of its hosts after infection.  Many subjects have been mapped and their behavior studied by psychologists with all results leading back to the concept that the Mold influences its hosts’ decisions for its own survival. (like any parasite)

See attached reports from psychiatrists for more information on data gathered and how it is quantified.  

In mammal studies, including infected wildlife but most notably, infected humans, the Mold implants a strong desire for family into the host’s mind.  This manifests differently for every person affected based on the host’s pre-existing experiences and beliefs about family, but it…” 

Eva’s lip was trembling and Ethan stared past her toward a far bookshelf, his own eyes glassed over, as her first tears began to fall.  Exhaling and steeling herself she continued reading, but her voice was very much affected.  

“It is clearly part of the organism’s learned mechanism for survival.  If a candidate has, as two examples: a pre-existing yearning for family or, no close family relationships, the Mold’s influence can cause behaviors that are erratic, toxic, or even self-harming.  The host is not experiencing mental illness, rather, they are responding to the signals from the parasite to get, and keep, a family close.  This usually leads to behavior patterns that do not match the host’s personality–interviewed infected persons have stated during these ‘crises’ they felt no control over themselves or their desires.  

For notes on extreme examples of this manifestation, see examples ‘Connections E Series’ and ‘Romania - Miranda.’ 

In other subjects, who did have positive family connections, the bond between those family members was strengthened universally.   The Mold rewards positive behaviors and emotions much like a human brain, and hosts report feeling satisfied when they are with their families or loved ones–even reporting feelings of bliss or euphoria when an entire family network is infected.  

In case studies where one member of the family was given a healing serum, removing the mold from their body temporarily, the other family members became combative and tried removing the patient from the room even though no danger to the host existed.  They become overprotective, anxious, and feel negative emotions for any threat and often manifest as overprotective family members.    

It is likely that hosts who manifest this type of protectiveness would have unmatched resilience when a family member is in danger.  We have documented animals with this protectiveness: an entire pack of infected wolves mourn the deaths of its elder members, showing symptoms of depression for months, and an infected murder of crows were witnessed having funeral ceremonies and mourning together after a death of one of their own.  Both communities of mammals had intense aggression when approached by outsiders.    

For notes on extreme examples of this manifestation, see example ‘Dulvey - Ethan Winters.’” 

The papers were thrown down onto Ethan’s desk, and Eva cautiously wiped her eyes, trying to judge the other blond’s reaction.  He was massaging the bridge between his eyes, his teeth bared as the information sank in.  Ethan’s hand dropped from his eyes down to his mouth and he stroked the dark stubble there. He stared at Eva, cupping his own chin. 

“So I’m not even me, really.  I just…” He shrugged, his voice hollow.  “I’m just…..a psycho dad because of the Mold.” 

“No,” Eva argued sternly.  Likely, she had been anticipating this response.  “You are still you.  The Mold affects everyone differently.  What it has done is amplify your pre-existing feelings about family.  It has propelled you when you needed it, to save your daughter.”  Eva’s fingers brushed his knee.  “Everything you have done is because you are noble, Ethan, and brave.  This doesn’t change that.” 

He frowned at the compliment.   “But this means that all of us…every single person…is doing whatever we can to what?  Seek family?  Be a part of a family?”

She was silent, biting her lip and then lifting a hand to her own chin as he’d done.  

“I suppose so, or at least, subconsciously, in ways.” 

“So…Miranda slaughtered a bunch of innocent people by turning this into a fucked up experiment for one person’s life…Eveline had Jack doing her dirty work of trying to create infected people to expand her own network….Mia, what?  What did it make her do?” 

“I don’t know Mia very well,” Eva admitted, “But from what I understand, she tried very hard to stay in her marriage with you, hiding things from you and trying desperately to make things appear stable and make you happy.  Could you see how that would benefit her, as a host, responding to these feelings, the need to…keep her family together?  On top of the love that she had for you?”

Ethan sighed, but he was still too in-shock to produce tears or outrage.  Instead he gripped the sides of the large leather armchair, and planted his feet on the ground.  

“I’m not even a person at all.  Nothing I do is even me.  Are any of my feelings real?”

“They are all real!  Ethan, you are not listening.” 

“Oh, I’m listening, I even made it as aggressive dad footnote in their article.”  When he threw his head back, closing his eyes, Ethan mused aloud, “Guess this explains the Lords.  Donna needed a million terrifying dolls to keep her company.  Moreau obsessed over Miranda.  And even Lady Dimitrescu and her monster daughters.  The Mold just wants us all to be one big happy family.” 

It had begun to rain.  What was usually a comforting sound now filled his heart with sorrow.   He remembered Godric’s words.  Sorrow will find you. 

He wasn’t trying to avoid it or anything, but damn it sure seemed to seek him out, didn’t it?  Eva looked heartbroken, and he met her eyes for the first time, happy to listen to her, instead of his own cynical thoughts.  

“I could almost forgive my mother, knowing that her grief was transformed into something that would benefit the entire organism.  Almost.  But what she has done is turn this survival mechanism, which could have been something so lovely, like the love you showed in protecting your daughter, into something horrific.”  

Hearing Eva speak so sadly about her own mother caused Ethan to put aside his feelings; he didn’t have feelings, actually–he was numb, from his head down to his feet, he could feel nothing.  It was the type of news that made one go blank, disconnected immediately, just like he’d done when Eveline first told him he was made out of mold. 

Even in a moment where his own distraught grief eluded him and he turned into a barely existing shell of a person, he had compassion.  Ethan stood and pulled Eva into a hug.  She soon burst into tears, sobbing onto his chest, and he hugged her harder, planting his chin onto the shorter blond’s head. From the hallway of the second floor, he could hear more sobs, likely Donna.  

The house would have made a good haunted attraction today, what with all the wailing.   And Karl’s loud Frankenstein-boot stomping.  Ethan smiled to himself, and then Eva ended up laughing through her sobs, choking as she fought to control the laugh.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that thought,” he said quietly, smiling against her cornsilk hair.  “Eva, it’s gonna be okay.” 

She laughed more, and then sighed as she pulled away, wiping tears again.  “Thank you, Ethan.” 

“Thank you for dropping the bomb, I guess.”  He sank back into his chair as she turned to leave.  “How did Karl feel about it?” 

Eva paused at the door, keeping it closed.  

“He didn’t say much, but I think he is happy to have some answers about the others in the village–their devotion to the religion.  Perhaps he also has answers about his own resistance to the pull of family.” 

“Yeah, why would he have that resistance?  What made him different?” 

Eva frowned, and finally turned back to Ethan.  “It is not my place to say more, but Heisenberg has always been protected.  By someone out of the reach of the Mold.  A true family member, which has…perhaps…overridden the commitment that Miranda put inside him when she infected him.  I think he has always believed his father and brother were also protected, immune.  Knowing that at least his brother is not, is devastating to him.”  

His mother.  

Ethan hadn’t said it aloud, but Eva nodded anyway.  

Ethan remembered the vision of Heisenberg’s, the pitiful and yet horrific creature strung up on pulleys-that looked dead but was not afforded that luxury.  That was the source of Heisenberg’s protection, his link to true family?  It was nightmarish.  How could Heisenberg have any solace at all?  Then again, maybe he didn’t.     

He chewed on his lip, and then waved at Eva.  “Get some sleep.” 

“Be careful tonight,” she warned.  “I know you don't need to hear it...and I already told Karl....Not all answers are comforting.”  

[katierosefun]

just got emotional thinking about what hjw might've had to go through in the year away from manyang, he was probably pestered by medias, having to deal with the trials and all the talks and whispers behind his back or even straight at his face. If i got the context right betraying his father was abig deal, yes many would praise him but many would shame him for being disrespectful and not filial. I'm sure hkh had big supporters in the force, corrupted people that wanted influence, power and wealth, they probably got mad at hjw for cutting short their connection and the future career advancement. All this might have reminded hjw how his life was before everything happened (my god something like "good things aren't bound to last") but after the time spent in manyang he changed, he got to experience love and closure, a found family and going back to his old habits might have felt so alienating now? he'd realize how cold and lonely that life was and struggling all the more due to it. I'm so glad he managed to fight his anxiety and fear and return to manyang + I'm fairly sure that once he saw that the people there still love him and welcomed him with open harms, he'd go back to stay. sorry if i wrote a lot but i wanted to share my feelings with someone who could understand and loves hjw too❤️

yeah, i was always incredibly fascinated by what might have happened in that year han joo won was away, and why i also just. think that han joo won probably really couldn't show his face not just because he probably felt a lot of shame, but also like. i dunno. my personal thought is that he was a fuckign mess for a little bit--like, the man you're in love with is also the man that you arrested, and the little community of people who cared about you can't possibly still love you now, not when you're the reason why their favorite person is going to go away . . .

and i feel like there definitely were a lot of people who probably looked askance at joo won to be like "how could you do that to your own father" or maybe other people who tried to swoop in and promote joo won for the sake of saving face, and i like to think that joo won was just like. blank-faced through it all. and just like, the thought of him running away from seoul and trying to go to a place where no one knows him is. yeah.

and also, i forget who might have said it, but there's also some speculation about whether joo won's the one turning down promotions or maybe joo won just never gets a promotion because maybe his name's also lowkey blacklisted since everything that happened with his dad. i like to think that it's joo won who keeps turning down promotions--maybe he's terrified that he'll ever really turn into his dad, because i don't think he ever will, but i do think that a small part of joo won will always still think about what greed and power can do to people, and he probably doesn't want even the littlest taste of that. (granted. han ki hwan was always a bad person, i think--you don't clamber up to the top with that kind of attitude unless there's already something broken inside of you, but i think. joo won would still. try to run from it.)

(especially since like. i think a lot about joo won hearing han ki hwan's conversation, what with han ki hwan being like "oh, joo won wants to think he's like me, but he's actually more like his mom", and seeing the fury but also the genuine pain on joo won's face because. yeah. as much as joo won scoffed at the mention of his dad even in the beginning, i think. it's the curse of certain children--the only child, the eldest child--to be like the father, especially when the mother is deemed weak or just out of the picture. little boys and little girls want to be the behemoth of a man that their father is; they want to be cold, logical, infallible. and i think as much as joo won hated talking about his dad, i look at how, esp. in the beginning of the show, he tried so hard to project that kind of attitude, with the whole "i don't need friends / i don't trust anyone / you have to be logical" when we so clearly see. how lonely he is and how he. still trembles a little bit when his dad yells at him and how he peers in through the windows of the shop like he's an alien. or maybe a very curious, kind of timid cat.)

so all that to say: yeah, i feel you anon. i love han joo won so much, and i love how beyond evil is just as much a story about joo won learning to fall into this beautiful (but slightly broken) community, and how i think. he must have healed along the way :'))

[spenglersweetheart]

OKAY NOTHER IDEA

You’ve set me off so

Idk if you’d do like canon x oc requests but like…maybe? I mean it’s not romantic it’s father daughter relationship?

What if Ray (being a ghostbuster and all) uses all his free time repairing the Ecto 1 or upgrading the proton packs, and one day Sal comes home from college where they had a like…tell us about your mom or dad day. And Sal made a whole presentation about her dad, what he did, what he believed in and all that sort of thing, the kids think it’s stupid (maybe this is before the ghost busters really became popular) and at recess they tease her or just straight up mock her

ofc !! i love oc and canon and i definitely love the platonic stuff so here ya go !!

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Don't Let the Bullies Get You Down

Ray Stantz and Sal Stantz !! (once again sal belongs to this beloved creator right here!)

WARNINGS : mentions of bullying

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SAL WAS SO EXCITED FOR THE 'TELL US ABOUT YOUR PARENT' DAY at school. She has worked so hard on her presentation about her dad. She was even happy to show all the other kids how cool he was. After all, he was a ghostbuster. All the other kids thought that would be cool, right? She loved talking about her dad when she had the chance. She rarely shuts about either him or his profession. To her, he was the greatest dad in the world.

She admired him. When she wasn't at school, she was always with him at the Firehouse, watching him fix the Ecto-1, upgrade proton packs. She just wished that she could go on missions with them. But her dad said she would be able to when she got older. That always made her really excited.

So when Ray picked her up from school and she looked pretty down, he knew something was wrong. He knew his daughter, and she was so excited to leave for school today because of the presentation.

When she gets into the car, he immediately looks at her. "Hey sweetie, how was school?" He asked her.

Sal gave a shrug. "It was good," she answered.

His heart pretty much sank. He definitely knew that there was something wrong, now. She always talked about what she did at school.

"Good? That's it?"

"Pretty much," she says, "We had the projects today."

"How did that go?" Ray questioned.

Sal pretty much went silent after that. She didn't want to talk about what happened after she had talked about her dad. She wasn't ashamed of her dad. But, she didn't want to tell her father that kids were picking on her because of the presentation.

A sigh escaped Ray's lips. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" He asked gently.

Sal looked like she was almost in tears. She looks up at him. "The other kids made fun of me," was all she could say.

"What did they say?"

"They kept mocking me. After I was done with my presentation. At recess they teased me. They said ghosts aren't real and they laughed when I said that you caught ghosts for a living."

Ray knew kids could be cruel. He has gone through it himself as a child. He knew how harsh bullying could be. Especially when you had different beliefs from theirs.

"Hey, listen to me, okay?" He says, while Sal gives a nod, "Bullies are just that. Bullies. They just like to ruin the fun of things. They're probably mad that they don't get to experience real life ghosts like you do."

This makes Sal giggle, which makes Ray smile. "Yeah, they're just jealous! I get to see you work with ghosts! I get to watch you upgrade proton packs!"

"And you get the experience firsthand."

"Yeah!"

He was happy that this made his daughter feel better. That's all Ray wanted to see. A smile on her face. That's what mattered to him the most. He turns back around before he starts the car, driving out of the school parking lot and into the street.

"Don't let the bullies get you down," Ray says to his daughter, looking at the rear view mirror so that he could see her face when talking, "If you don't give them the attention that they want, they'll go away."

Sal smiles widely. "Okay, dad, I won't let them get to me."

"Good," he says back, "Now how about we get ice cream?"

"Yay!" Sal squealed, "Can we get Dairy Queen?"

Ray laughed. "Of course we can, kiddo."

[thymeebutter]

A few fun examples of things that probably should have ticked parents off towards my autism:

(!! Feel free to share with your own!!)

Having a comfort blanket, and when it was suddenly taken from me and thrown away after years and years with it, I completely shut down until it was replaced and I had adequate time to mourn. (Didn't do anything for over a week, like barely ate and just cuz I was fed)

Being so confused about the order of things and how you were supposed to do them, to where my mom got fed up and just printed and laminated step by step flow charts and guides for things like getting dressed, showering, brushing my hair, ect

Constantly stimming

Learning disability squad ✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️💜✨💜✨💜 (dysgraphia specifically, effects my ability to put things in my head onto paper, my handwriting is atrocious, spelling is not good, I don't know how to write or type in proper grammar I just use speech to text, also writing hurts my hand a lot. Might ask why I don't type, I have a very difficult time putting things onto screen as well, I like speech to text because I can just say my thoughts and it cuts out the sucky middle man)

Refused to learn vowels and cursive, got extremely mad when I was shown algebra, calmed down when I realized there wasn't actually writing words involved

Was part of the "advanced group" of one other person in 5th grade and was learning algebra. (Definitely wasn't in advanced classes through high school though, those teachers were a lot less accommodating towards my learning needs so I got majorly behind in everything)

Loyal to a fault with friends, and was often taken advantage of and lied to

Obsessed with eggs, specifically deviled eggs, would go to every single neighbor on the street that I had been introduced to, and try to trade them pictures of their pets for eggs (it worked with two of them and I would routinely visit for more deviled eggs loll, I got inevitably caught when I would just put the unprotected egg into my pocket to save for later and made a mess) 😭

Didn't know how to approach people or play with them, at literally any age. Only didn't stand out majorly because on my first day of kindergarten a girl ran up to me and said that we were now friends and basically guided me through everything lol. Honestly looking back I think she just had fun bossing me around but I wasn't against it or anything, it helped me not stand out too much.

Would interrupt class to tell teacher that a poster (often times cartoon drawings) had incorrect gravity, physics, anatomy, ect, and would completely miss the point that it's a cartoonized version

Did not understand really the concept of sharing and what belongs to who for a good while

Told my mom that when I was an adult I was going to buy a hundred erasers to just chew on throughout the week, was told that this was a good idea, now I have chewy toys lol

Also remarkably too obsessed with pet toys, still am tbh, The crinkles and bells and squeakers are fun, what can I say?

Learned to "pretend play" when my parents were watching, but would just do my own thing otherwise and play with things in a very nerdivergent way.

Had very bad depression and anxiety since at least 4th grade

Literally my only other friends were either kids who just adopted me as a friend suddenly (99% of them took advantage of me), or were also disabled in some way and ostracized

OBSESSED with my little pony and having wings

Once I got slightly older and got unrestricted internet access, became even more obsessed with fallout Equestria (I have the fancy leather bound golden embossed print I'm so happy) (I want the project horizons one too)

Would very very obviously mirror people around me, typically adults, they thought I was just being funny

Very bad with volume control, would be extremely loud, then extremely quiet, then wouldn't respond at all. Parents didn't care as long as it wasn't the loud one since they were tired with younger siblings.

Taught myself to read because my mom was too slow, was reading Nancy Drew at 4 (I don't actually know if that's the normal age)

Could read well in my head, had extreme difficulty putting the words together out loud

My favorite blanket was two pieces of fabric tied together, and when I was overwhelmed I would untie some of it and then retie myself inside of it and hide in there for hours

Would retreat to small dark spaces like closets and under beds, parents didn't care cuz I was out of their hair

I grew up on my Little pony and a VeggieTales, so I was very over the top expressive when I was younger since I was copying the shows I liked, didn't mean I would pull the red expressions at the right time though, people just figured I was funny

Would walk directly behind people I liked and trusted, constantly got yelled at by my mom for stepping on her heels

Would get extremely upset if anyone was behind me more than once or for more than 20 seconds

Always felt like a really bad kid, and like I was really stupid for just having a different brain

Very clearly not a cishet kid, not an exact trait of autism itself, but autistic people are more likely to be LGBTQ+

Was extremely good at reading in my head, but extremely upset when I was told to read at the same speed and level out loud. There's like a disconnect in my head that makes it hard putting words in my head or from paper(extremely bad at reading out loud) into vocal noise that is coherent

Took things very literally (very fun story! Was bad with personal space, and when I was about 10 my parents realized that I wasn't just trying to be cute, I was told to stay an arm's length away from everyone at all times. Later that day, A pregnant lady at our church feels a tiny hand on her tummy, thinking that I must be curious about her baby she excitedly turns to me. I am glaring, and when I see her looking at me I explain that I was told to keep an arms length away at all times, but I was very frustrated because I was still somehow doing it wrong??????? She found this very hilarious, and found me years later to tell me the story, apparently it's one of her favorites so that makes me happy at least. I did definitely get in trouble though rip)

Book I like? Reading it cover to cover over and over until I can tell you what happens on every page

Tried to show interest in other people and bond with them by info dumping on things I liked and then waiting for them to do the same, sometimes this worked out very well, other times it did not and I may or may not have thought that my dad hated me all throughout middle school because he did not show interest in the same way and neither of us understood.

Bonded a lot with my dad though as a kid through both getting hyper fixated on the same LEGO game, he would play and be very strict about anyone interrupting his focus or making noise, and I would sit and watch for hours without moving, it was pretty chill

Terrible at telling when I was hungry or thirsty

My first memory is signaling for a parent to fill up my sippy cup, and my dad did. Except when I took a drink, it was lukewarm! I was disgusted and even though I needed water and felt bad physically I refuse to drink. Now I'll drink lukewarm water if I have to I guess, like if I have a bad headache and need to take meds.

Got low-key hyperfocused on dork diaries in either fourth or 5th grade for a bit, taught myself a chunk of calculus, scored way too high on my computer state testing and gave my teachers way too high math expectations :p. Forgot everything within a week because I got re-obsessed with mlp

Got in trouble for giving rude looks a lot, turns out I was just either giving too much or too little eye contact, I figured out that you could counteract this a bit by complimenting people, because a lot of people like when younger kids compliment them

Did not at all realize that I was bullied until I entered middle school and the kids were a lot more obvious about it, even then I was very dense to most of it and still kind of am

Bad at telling when things hurt, had a terrible ankle that would constantly give out, and because I wouldn't be able to tell it hurt or wouldn't be able to react appropriately to the pain I would just be told to walk through it. Whenever I ended up hurting myself I would always hope that no one saw so I could just continue playing, unfortunately when the kid is covered in blood that's kind of a red flag and you get sent to the nurses office and then to the doctors or home loll

Also related, I was not very good at acting sick when I was sick, so teachers wouldn't believe me. I would tell them very straightforward that I was about to throw up and I guess I wasn't acting the part because they would tell me not to lie. Jokes on them I guess, or the janitor. Poor janitor ya'll deserve more love

Took people seriously, whenever I was told to figure things out on my own or do them myself I would, even if I ended up extremely hurting myself. I would always get scolded for not asking help but I would be so confused cuz I was told to do it on my own

Later in elementary school I was very bad at playing the games everyone else played, especially the pretend ones since I didn't really get the rules or what was going on, but my best friend was really popular so I just followed her around and she vouched for me (once again, someone who just adopted me as a friend, still friends now and we like to joke that she's stuck around me too long and has just gotten used to it all lol)

Final fun fact, was told when I was 15 by my bio mom that she always figured I was "somewhere on the spectrum"(depending on her mood she used the r slur >:/) but didn't want the family to have to deal with the ~stigma~ . Like wow, feels great but y'all knew something was up with me but never thought to even talk to me about it because you didn't want to look bad to others. Also this was completely unprompted lol.

[ashboy-3]

Nice to Meet You

Written for DannyMay day 5 Prompt: 10 min vs 1 hour Fandom: Danny Phantom Charcters: Jack, Maddie, Danny, OC Words: 2242 Summary: It's time for Danny to move into college and meet his roommate.

This is where the Ten minutes starts.

“You sure you don’t need us to come with you?” Maddie asked her only son as he was packing his essentials into a duffel bag and backpack.

“No Mom. We already sent everything else ahead in the mail. I can fly there easily,” Danny grabbed his favorite hoodie and put it in the duffel bag, following a Fenton thermos.

“Oh okay, sweetie. You know I worry,” Maddie hugged her half-ghost child.

“Yeah I know, but I promise I’ll be fine. You and Dad built this awesome bracelet that hides my ecto signature so I can fly the whole way and the GIW can’t find me. That’s really all that I’m worried about.” Danny said as he waved his wrist that held a black and ecto green bracelet. It was cleverly disguised as a simple rope bracelet with a small ghost charm in the middle of it. That charm was the key to hiding his ecto signature from those who might be trying to find him for very bad reasons.

Once he was done packing he looked up to see his mom’s face still free of worry. Sighing he sat down on his bed, letting her join him. “I’ll be fine. It’s just college.” Danny smiled grabbing her hands.

“I know I should worry. You’ve already accomplished so much! Saving the world, becoming a prince of the realms, and graduating high school all on your own. I shouldn’t worry,” a few tears were about to come out of her eyes.

“I didn’t do any of that alone. I had Jazz, Sam, Tucker, and even Ellie. I had Clockwork, Frostbite, Ember, Dora, and all the ghosts. I had a big support system helping me and they still help me to this day. I wouldn’t be anywhere without all of them. Even my enemies. I’m grateful for everyone in my life who has challenged me and helped me get here.” Danny told her, as he looked at the pictures of his friends and family, the last things he has to pack.

“Oh, you’re right. You will be coming to visit right?” she asked, standing up to carefully pick up each picture as she smiled at how happy her son was in all of them.

“Of course I will. Jazz still came to visit when she left for college,” Danny pointed out.

“Jazz didn’t have as many responsibilities as you do,” Maddie also pointed out.

This is where the ten minutes ended (Words 401). This is where the next fifty minutes start.

“She was still going for a hard course,” Danny voiced for Jazz.

“Oh I know she did and we knew she was going to do excellent. Maybe I am worrying to much,” Maddie thought as her husband entered the room.

“Of course you are! Our Danny has got this! If he needs anything he knows to call us!” Jack smiled.

“Thanks, Dad!” Danny smiled.

“Now here’s some vials of ectoplasm to keep you going in California, call us when you need replacements. This is for the trip there,” Jack gave him a case of twenty vials of pure ectoplasm and a water bottle filled with ectoplasm.

“Thanks, Dad. I really should get going,” Danny said as he looked at his complicated watch that was on the opposite wrist of his bracelet, his right wrist, and put the vials in the duffle bag while the water bottle went into the backpack pocket.

“Call us as soon as you get there!” Maddie demanded with one more tight hug.

“I promise Mom. As soon as I find my dorm and settle in I’ll give you a call,” Danny smiled.

“Make sure you stay invisible-”

“Unless I’m above the clouds. I know Dad,” Danny gave Jack just as tight of a hug, before taking a deep breath and grabbing the two bags, the weight practically nothing for him after training with Frostbite and the other ghost for over two years now.

“Bye, Danny!” Maddie yelled as she saw her son flying away outside of his bedroom window.

“He’ll be okay Mads,” Jack gave his wife a comforting hug.

“I don’t doubt it,” Maddie smiled.

It took half a day of flying at his top speed but Danny was able to make it to California without stopping, but he was dead tired on his feet by the time he arrived. Making sure to turn back human where no one could see he found a desk that clearly said freshman here for info.

“Hi there! Freshman?” a girl with short blond hair asked.

“Uh yeah. Daniel Fenton.”

“Daniel? Nice to meet you! I’m Christy! I’m a senior here, have been for three years, but let’s see. . .aha! Here you are! Your dorm building is Castle 2, it’s going to be this building right here,” she handed him a map of the school, circling the building and where they currently are. “You are going to be on floor three room 313. If you have any trouble finding what you need to know just look for someone wearing one of the Freshman shirts like I have on. We’re all over campus. This is a list of activities that we are putting on for the freshman the week before school to help get you introduced to others on campus. This is a log of when all the separate tours are starting, they all start at student services, this building here. This is a calender of not only the school semester, but also the main events that have already been planned along with a list of the clubs, the fees, and when they meet. Oh almost forgot! When you get to castle 2 at the entrance their will be another freshman worker, she should have your dorm keys! Have a great day!”

“Thanks!” Danny smiled back as saw the building was a short two minute walk. Just as Christy said their was another person with the same shirt, just a different color sitting at the entrance.

“Hey there! This your dorm room?” the guy asked.

“Yep! Name’s Daniel Fenton?” 

“Daniel let’s see found ya. My name’s Jack I’ll be your RA so if you have any problems or anything you can knock on my door. I’m in room 225. Here are your keys and student ID! Enjoy your freshman year and if you ever need to find me I’m normally doing homework at the local coffee shop after four!”

“Thanks, man and you can call me Danny.” Danny held out his hand, which Jack gladly shook.

“Nice to meet you, Danny!”

Danny walked up to the third floor, finding room 313, and unlocked it.

“Oh my shit!” a person who was in the room already jumped up and yelled when they saw Danny enter the room.

“Sorry man! Didn’t know there was already someone in here,” Danny was quick to apologize, he really didn’t mean to frighten his roommate.

“No, it’s my fault. I knew I had a roommate, but it didn’t occur to me when I saw the key turning. Name’s Parker. Pronouns they/them.” Parker said, holding out their hand.

“Danny. he/him/thing/gremlin,” Danny took the hand as Parker laughed.

“I’ll keep note of that. So I’m a freshman. I’m an English major, yeah don’t yell at me. I’m doing multiple languages, the school only offers English and Spanish as official majors though,” Parker rolled their eyes, as he jumped on his bed to lie down, he was already moved in. Danny looked over and saw that his stuff had already arrived and the school was kind enough to move it in for him.

“Do you like languages?” Danny asked.

“Hell yeah. I hope to be a translator for as many languages as I can. This school is the one in California that offered the most. I’m taking the normal English and Spanish classes for my major. I’m also going to take ASL, Latin, Russian, French, Japanese, and Chinese.”

“Damn! I thought that I knew a lot of languages,” Danny laughed.

“I don’t know that many actually. I only know some Spanish and I’m fluent in Italian. Everything else I just know a few phrases here and there. I’m also going to be joining all of the language clubs so theirs more to learn. What languages do you know?”

“I know Esperanto, Latin, Greek, Hebrew, Egyptian, Old Norse-. Sorry nothing that’s really helpful. Their kinda all dead languages,” Danny rubbed his neck as he walked fully in the room, shutting the door behind him to put his bags down on his bed. Seeing that he was given his own closet and furniture.

“No dude that’s awesome! Where did you learn those?” Parker asked, amazement in their eyes, Danny suddenly remembered the grueling training he had and still has to go through the become king. Memorizing every dead language that is spoken within the realms. He also speaks ghostly speak, but that one can’t be explained.

“I had a few friends teach me. I know people who needed to learn all of these languages and so to help them I would learn it with or for them for easier communication.” Danny shrugged.

“Man hook me up with your friends. Well, at least we have Latin in common. Are you going to take the course?”

“Ah maybe. I’m a science major, astrophysics to be exact. I don’t think language will exactly be helping me a lot,” Danny shrugged, opening the box that he knew had his bedding stuff in it. Smiling as he set up his bed as talked with Parker.

“Man, and I thought my major was going to be hard.”

“It’s not that hard. I come from a family of scientists so the vocabulary isn’t exactly foreign to me, but if you ever need help with your language classes I’m a quick learned,” Danny smiled, happy that his bed was made. He still had plenty to unpack but he was to tired to worry about it right now.

“Do you mind if I leave the boxes here for now? I’m tired as the dead,” Danny laughed at his own inside joke.

“Nah I don’t mind. Did you drive?”

“I flew. It was a long flight. I don’t think it was supposed to be that long, but delays,” Danny shrugged.

“Alright. I’ll leave for some coffee, while you get some sleep. We can work out dorm rules and shit later,” Parker suggested.

“Oh shit yeah! Don’t let me forget dude. Although I’m pretty easy. Just respect my privacy and don’t fuck with my stuff,” Danny shrugged, grabbing a baggy long sleeve shirt and sweat pants from his bag, happy that their dorm room had a shared bathroom.

“No arguments here. Want anything while I’m out?” Parker asked.

“Nah. If I need anything I can get it later,” Danny waved him off as he walked in the bathroom to change, hearing the dorm room door open and close indicating Parker’s absence.

Although Danny was super tired he wanted to unpack the ghost supplies from his bag as quickly as possible. Grabbing his water bottle, the ecto one and not the one filled with normal water, he put them both on his side table, the ecto one was marked with a piece of green tape and had danger written on it in black sharpie. It made Danny laugh. He then proceeds to put the vials in the top drawer of his dresser, only unpacking enough clothes to hide the vials, should someone accidentally go looking. 

He repeated the process with the other drawers in his dresser, making sure to cover up anything that could be considered weird.

Now that he was done putting away his important items he could nap peacefully. Setting an alarm to go off in time for the latest freshman tour he let his mind fall into peaceful sleep.

Danny awoke to his alarm going off beeping like crazy, he was very grateful he grew out of throwing or blasting his alarms.

“Hey dude your alarm is going off,” Parker said, when Danny opened his eyes he could see his roommate sitting at his desk.

“Yeah I know. I wanted to catch the last freshman tour,” Danny yawned, grabbing his favorite black and green ghost hoodie to change into. . .maybe letting Sam revamp his whole wardrobe to be ghost themed wasan’t the best idea, but he can’t deny that he didn’t vibe with it.

“Oh shit I was going to catch that,” Parker groaned.

“I don’t mind you tagging along. Might as well get used to each other,” Danny shrugged as he came out of the bathroom.

“Bet,” Parker agreed, quickly turning off his laptop and grabbing a brown shoulder bag.

The two walked together as they headed towards student services learning alot about each other, or at least the basic things that new roommates should know about each other.

“Man this campus is bigger then I thought,” Parker groaned as they finally made it to student services.

“It wasan’t that long of a walk,” Danny laughed.

“Says you! I’m not a sports guy!” Parker groaned, ready to flop on the ground.

“Neither am I, but I like to keep in shape,” Danny patted Parker on the back comfortingly as he continued to laugh.

The two went on the tour, making sure to mark the buildings that they would need know on their own maps before being let go, deciding that the best way to end the night was a trip to Denny’s for some late night milkshakes.

“Yeah,” Danny thought. “College to going to be awesome!”

(Work was completed under the time limit with 5:42 left to complete. words written in this time was 1841. The total amount of words for the work is 2242.)

Since this is the intro fic for Parker and I couldn’t think of a description during the challenge. Parker has dirty blonde hair and blue eyes with a rounded face. Their a little on the heavier side, but that changes as he starts to exercise more. They like to wear button up shirts that have goofy patterns with jeans. Their hair is cut in a mullet with the sides shaved down. They have their ears pierced.

[strawberryya]

too pure for hell, but fallen nonetheless

pairing: kang taehyun x reader

synopsis: Do you ever find yourself wishing you could escape your problems? Still, allowing the mind to conjure such a scene may unfurl a worse struggle than the present. As you journey through life, be mindful of the choices you make, for they hold the power to summon the winds of fate.

word count: 7.1k

genre/cw: angst, smut, supernatural au, selkie!taehyun, fem!reader, drowning depicted, death mentioned, killing and murder mentioned, suicidal thoughts, being held captive against your will, chasing/hunting depicted (not animals), unprotected sex, enemies to lovers… or well…, general hatred towards the human race, betrayal and lots of mixed feelings, cold exterior Taehyun.

rating: 18+

a/n: I DID IT! I'm not sure what I did, but I certainly did it.

this is my second fic for the wonderful collaboration thrill of the hunt, hosted by @cultofdionysusnet - check out the other exciting and thrilling stories on the official master list here!

network tagging: @svthub @cultofdionysusnet @k-labels @kvanity-main

How does one move on? 

It’s an impossible question. Especially when you have just uncovered the biggest betrayal in your life. He had cheated on you. A month before the wedding. 

Your boyfriend since forever, your high school sweetheart, your everything - and your best friend. 

Your soon-to-be husband and your maid of honor had decided it would be a good time to reveal the years of cheating they had hidden from you today. Because your failed project at work hadn't been enough to ruin your entire week, but now your entire future was in shambles at your feet. 

The new park had been planned out to the last detail, your entire team had done their absolute best for half a year and now it was all to be thrown out the window for a new twenty-story building and a parking lot. “Which makes sense, because the world doesn’t have enough of those,” you complained, holding back your tears on the phone as you drove home. Your mom listened halfheartedly.

“Well, sweetie, I know it’s hard, but I think that you should just say ‘okay’ about all this for now. And just focus on the wedding instead! I got these new place cards, and I think they’re absolutely perfect.” 

“Mom. I really don’t care about that right now…” you were going to explain, but you let your words stay inside, afraid you might say something you would regret if you didn’t shut your mouth. 

“No, no… I can understand that…” she conceded, sounding just a bit hurt that you didn’t want to gush about your upcoming wedding. 

“I’ll talk to you later Mom… Tom said he wanted to talk about something tonight, so I’ll just call you tonight or tomorrow.”

Before hanging up she told you to just relax at home with your fiancé, to try and be happy about what life has given you instead of what it takes away… she wanted you to try and look on the bright side of life. 

You weren’t sure you would be able to see anything past the clouds that stormed your mind after the horrible meetings you had been suffering through the entire day. But you wanted to think about something else too and promised her to try. 

That’s not a promise you were able to keep, however. Walking through the door to find Tom waiting anxiously in the kitchen with your best friend right beside him. Holding his hand, gently, supportively. Your heart stopped when you saw the look on their faces, and you felt your once picture-perfect life cracking at the edges. 

When they confessed their love for each other you didn’t cry, you didn’t even ask how, when, or why. You felt so empty as you watched your best friend for ten years wail for you to forgive them and not be mad at her. 

“I never wanted to hurt you. But I fell in love! Can’t you be happy for me?”

Her voice was strained from the tears. You thought the tears looked just as forced. 

Tom didn’t say anything. He had apologized and told you he wanted to call off the wedding. The wedding was supposed to happen in less than a month. The wedding you had planned together since you were only children.

Your head hurts. You needed them to shut up. To get out of your sight.

Couldn’t they just leave you alone?!

Standing up suddenly, your best friend’s pleas stopped, making your body sigh in relief before you stormed right back out of the house. 

You didn’t know where you were going at first. Head and body pounding with anger, confusion, and fear. If you could just find somewhere to think, everything would get better. The car speeding through the streets wasn’t helping you think right now. You needed something that would let you cry the tears that had been held back all day, without a word of comfort in return. Somewhere the salty streams dripping from your face wouldn’t make a difference. Something bigger than all of your problems. 

The sea.

You had always been fond of the sea. As a kid, you used to swim fiercely in even the highest of waves. Your parents standing by the shore with worry in their eyes and hands waving you back towards land. There’s no beach like the one in your childhood close to where you live. But not far from the city is a small port, the sea visible for a good stretch before the land overtook it and hid it away from the population walking by. 

When you curl up next to the edge of the concrete docks, the salty water ripples calmly in front of you. There weren’t many waves this far into the docks, but further out you could see the white lines appearing and dissolving over and over again. It was hypnotic. 

Silently the tears you had held back began running down your cheeks. You held yourself tighter. The slight breeze scented by the sea mist blew gently in your hair, drying the tears as they came. 

“Why…” you mourned. 

There was nobody around, no one to disturb or comfort you, so your sobs grew louder the more you thought about the reality of what had happened. So many things had gone wrong. Everything was just- so wrong.

You looked over the edge of the concrete land under your body, down at the bottomless waters. What would it feel like to dive in and let your body be engulfed by the dark water? You shook your head at your distorted reflection at the fleeting thought. 

It would hurt just as much to leave everything behind as it did to stay. 

Nevertheless, the pain of holding on even on a day like this was overwhelming. It made your every muscle shake with frustration. Your sobs mirrored your desperation, your tears dripping down your cheeks, pooling at your jaw, and one by one, joining the sea. 

When your blurred gaze met a pair of huge black eyes in the water, you froze up. They were staring at you, watching you cry with their big black eyes that showed no emotion that you could register. 

It was a seal, the shadow in the water revealing its large size. It was bigger than the small ones usually seen around these shores, but it was undeniably a seal. 

The large seal blinked at you slowly, before turning around to swim away. But instead of simply leaving you to your suffering, it began looking back at you at every other meter it swam as if to check if you were coming along. You thought you might be dreaming because there was no way a seal was trying to get you to come with it into the sea. When you didn’t come with, it stopped, seemingly waiting for you again. 

Without really knowing why, you kicked off your shoes and stepped into the water. The freezing waves drenched your clothes, but the cold against your skin didn’t make you go back. You begin to swim, following the seal into the deeper parts of the ocean. Your heart pounded in your chest, the thrill of doing something dangerous filling your entire body with adrenaline. It felt just like it had when you were little, except now no one waited for you at the shoreline. 

You wanted to escape everything, and following a seal into the depths of the sea might be a temporary way, but it was all you had right now. The seal dove under the surface, and you held your breath and followed. 

It was impossible to see anything in the dark, murky waters, and the current quickly overpowered you. You weren’t even able to fight the large body of water when you felt your body being sucked down and away from everything you had ever known. When the cold and the dark enveloped you, you let go of your breath, the light from above disappearing from your vision as you closed your eyes in resignation. 

You couldn’t remember what happened after that. Your mind was a blur, everything in your memory hazy and seen through the murky waters you had believed you had drowned in. 

Later, you realized that you must’ve washed up on the long rocky beach before they took you. When the fae had taken you captive. 

When you came to, you weren’t cold or wet anymore, but your hair still smelt like the salty water that had enveloped you as you swam after the seal. You weren’t anywhere near the sea anymore, you couldn’t even hear it, but you knew it hadn’t been a dream. 

For days, you only saw the four walls of your new prison. The large window showed nothing but the drop of the mountains surrounding the entire castle. In other words, you couldn’t even dream of escaping. Unless you wished to crash through the colorful glass pains and into a sure death. There had been one other girl in the room, but you had barely spoken. Cuddling together during the cold nights to reserve some of your combined heat, you stayed quiet, knowing that your capturers were most likely listening to you at all times. The only words you had exchanged were simple words of comfort. 

“I want to go home,” she had whispered one night. You had squeezed her tighter, answering with a hushed, “Me too.” 

Even after days in captivity, you had a hard time understanding just what had happened on that day. The guards barely spoke to the two of you but made sure you were well-fed and clean the entire time. It was confusing, being a prisoner, but being taken care of by mystical creatures you had never even believed to be real. 

You had been informed that you were the property of the fae realm inhabitants, of something called the Latha court. Everywhere you went in the short trips guards led you through in the castle you could only see what you would describe as impossible sights. Human-looking people with horns, tails, and skin that ranged in all the colors of the rainbow. You had heard stories of mystical beings, but they had only ever been just that - stories. Fairytales…

Humans existed in the castle, but they never even looked at you or your companion. Always too focused on their assignments. Clad in rags with hands cracked and bleeding from the cold. 

It did seem as though they were being respected as servants, however. None of them were beaten, and none of them were ever heard complaining. You weren’t sure they were able to, but you chose not to think about that too much. Hoping with everything you had, that your captors were nicer than they had shown until now. 

The days all felt the same in that dark room, the stone walls clad in rundown tapestries and flickering candles to fight the long nights didn’t help you or your companion when the horrible truth faced you both: you were either stuck in here forever, soon to be used as servants like the other humans you had seen around, or you would be killed. 

It didn’t take long until the answer was clear to both of you. You sometimes overheard the people who passed by your room, but usually, it was nothing more than gossip or friendly chatter. This time, however, their words would haunt you both. 

"Do you feel the thrill in the air? The Hunt is upon us!" A raspy voice had declared with joy as two sets of feet seemed to be passing by your door.

"The humans have been preparing for our ceremonial chase, let's hope it's more exciting than last year. I mean, come on, not a single scratch? Boring!"

"Well, we did stick to tradition and spiced things up in the Oidhche region. Those humans got a run for their money!" They both chuckle in unison as they continue down the corridor.

Their words sent chills down your back. Would you soon lose your life in the most gruesome of ways? You tried to not imagine what they had meant by “the Hunt”, but the way they had spoken of you and your cellmate as if you were nothing but prey had frightened you. You would need to escape, soon. 

You had made up an escape plan, a plan you had told no one. But you knew your cellmate had her own plans, she had looked way too scared the day you had heard those two fae pass by your room speaking of the expected slaughter. 

On the day you were both allowed out of your room to walk the short walk to the washrooms to shower, you knew time was of the essence. It had to happen today. 

“Take the chance if it comes,” you whispered to your companion. Her hand closed around yours in response, as they led the both of you out and down the long spiral hallways that seemed to be everything the castle consisted of. You were cold, and your ears pulsed as the two guards showed you the way. They were stronger, and faster. You knew it from the way they weren’t the least bit scared that either of you would make a run for it. That’s why you stood a chance. They had underestimated you, and you would need to use that to your advantage. You were almost at the washrooms you had seen many times before when one of the guards stopped to chat with another fae, giving you just the opportunity the both of you had been looking for. Without a look, you both fled in different directions. the one guard who had been left alone with you was forced to choose who to chase after. Luckily for you, he didn’t seem to choose you this time. 

You ran as fast as your legs could carry you, through the corridors that all looked the same, meeting close to nobody in the endless hallways to your luck. In some twisted fate of luck, you managed to rip open a large wooden door, the wind slapping you in the face as you stared out into the open mountain landscape. You needed to continue running if you wanted to live, but looking at where you must go next, you realized that you might die anyway. 

It wasn’t much of a choice in the end, your life being taken by the elements at least seemed like the better option compared to the hunt that was going to be in your future no matter what you did if you stayed. You ran down the steep hill, not looking back at the large building a single time, praying to whoever would listen that nobody was following you just yet. 

“Taehyun! Did you hear?” Seungkwan said as he sprinted to catch up with his friend. Or well, acquaintance. Taehyun didn’t see any of the people in his court as friends. Allies, perhaps, but not friends. 

Taehyun had not heard, but judging by the exhilarated expression on Seungkwan’s face, the news he brought were big. 

“Some of the humans ran away, with only three days left until the hunt starts too! And guess what, I heard that one of them was yours!” Seungkwan gossiped, looking intently at Taehyun’s expression to watch for any type of reaction to his words. To his disappointment, Taehyun proved hard to get a reaction from, as usual. Although allied, Taehyun wasn’t much of a fun person to play around with, at least not for his fae friends who loved rousing others for their entertainment. He had learned to keep up his cold facade in front of everyone. No weakness could ever be shown, or he would be exploited. He knew this. It had happened before. 

“So? It’s not like there are too few humans in the world, what’s one less?” 

The disdain in Taehyun’s words showed a bit more than he had intended to, a nice surprise for Seungkwan. “Well, even if they are rather worthless creatures, they sure are fun to play with…” Seungkwan said and winked at him. “Just remember to behave. We’re not like those savages from Oidhche, you know.”

“Behave? Why would I have to…” 

Taehyun’s question was promptly interrupted by a servant hesitantly calling out his name. “Kang Taehyun?”

The servant drew his attention, and Seungkwan left him with more questions than answers, only the sinking feeling that he would have to deal with humans a lot more than he had hoped for this year. 

He was correct, it didn’t take long before he had been informed by the servant that he was to leave immediately. His mission: catch the human he had brought in only a few weeks ago. 

He was seething. 

“Do I have to be the one? Can’t someone who takes pleasure in the damn hunt take her back into custody?”

“She was tricked by you, she's your responsibility. Leave soon, she can’t have gotten far.” Was all the servant responded, his monotone voice sounding more like a machine than a person. 

Taehyun had always loathed the way the courts deprived humans of their free will. However, he despised the humans themselves even more. The servant left him as soon as his orders had been fulfilled. 

Once she’s caught, I will just have to hunt her again once the ceremony begins. Taehyun thought as he wandered after the escaped human into the wilderness he had been informed that his prey had last been seen. He was tired of it all. The annual hunt, the three courts’ fake politeness, the humans that were brought back beaten and killed, or bitten and kept as nothing but pets. 

It all disgusted him. 

But in the end, he partook in it, year after year. Having little choice since he had sworn his oath to the Latha court in his youth. It was for protection, which he and his remaining family got. And honestly, it had been a good way to let off some steam. Having an outlet for all that anger was needed, but now… 

It hadn’t taken Taehyun long to pick up on your track, seeing as you had no real survival skills and ended up leaving every kind of clue after you as you trudged through the wilderness. 

It had only been a couple of hours since you had begun your run, and the sun was starting to set already. You had arrived at the edge of vegetation that wasn't just rocks and low bushes. The new area was filled with tall trees, high cliffs, and the sweet fragrance of pine.

If you weren’t running for your life, this would’ve been a nice hike. 

As the daylight faded and the cold air grew stronger, you began to feel uneasy. You weren't adequately prepared for this journey and the thought of making it through the night was worrisome. The possibility of encountering wild animals added to your concerns. To make matters worse, it occurred to you that one of your captors, a fae, might also be stalking you in the darkness.

You continued to wander deeper into the patch of trees, hoping for some shelter from the wind, or some water that could drench the thirst that had begun becoming unbearable. 

The warmth from the sun was gone quicker than you had hoped. You were already hungry and thirsty, and you had begun slightly regretting your decision to run. At least they had kept you warmer than you were right now, and you hadn’t had to go hungry or thirsty even once. Maybe you had gotten the wrong idea. 

No. They had held you prisoner, and you had heard them speak of humans as if they were nothing but silly playthings one could kill or capture as one pleased. 

They weren’t human, they meant you harm, and you needed to remember that. 

It was almost dark now, and you were sobbing on a patch of moss. It was dry and scratched your fingers as you held onto it. You were ready to give up. You hadn’t been able to find anything, no water, to shelter, and in the end, you had even twisted your ankle. 

You weren’t a “survivor”, you had lived a way too privileged life for this to be normal for you. All those movies and books had strong women who knew how to handle themselves even in situations such as these. Now, you realize that that was an ideal you fell short of right now. 

The desperation and regret over how you had ended up in this situation made your body shake violently as you cursed your ex-fiance and best friend. You blamed them. And you couldn’t stop yourself from shouting into the forest at the thought of their betrayal. “IF I EVER GET BACK HOME YOU’RE BOTH DEAD FOR THIS!” 

You almost missed the chuckle coming from behind you. But the echo of your voice didn’t hide the sound of another person in the wilderness completely. You froze. 

“Who’s there?” You asked weakly, “Are you… here to kill me? To take me back to that castle?”

Not receiving any response added to your frustration. It was a matter of life and death and yet, the person on the other side chose not to respond, but instead, laugh at your misery.

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” 

The voice scoffed, “Does that even matter at this point?” 

As a man's voice pierced through the air, you were taken aback by how alluring it sounded. This unsettling realization left you feeling uneasy- you might consider going to therapy if you make it out alive. It's not ideal for one's first reaction to be finding their possible killer's voice attractive.

“I- Uhm, it matters.” You answered, a bit awkwardly. 

Taehyun was a bit stunned by your shifting emotions. You were truly human, your aggressiveness and stupidity were both visible in how you spoke to him. He should kill you and have it be over with. 

You squint at the shadows beneath the trees. Hoping you will get to see the man who belonged to the voice before your demise. Suddenly, the dim light hanging onto the branches in the woods reveals the man who caught up to you in just a few hours. Your jaw drops in amazement.

He was wearing only a robe, brownish gray and smooth, with specks of dark gray scattered throughout it. Seal skin, you realized and reeled back as you watched the man with eyes as dark as the deepest ocean approached you. The fur flowed with his movements, the part around his décolletage glistening from small pearls of salt and water that seemed to surround him. It was beautiful, the few rays of sun catching on the small drops all around him, making him appear as if he was nothing more than an illusion. 

The scowl on his face dragged you back to your reality. He was coming for you, he had to be one of them. 

“Wait!” you shouted, which miraculously made him stop in his tracks. 

The fur wrapped around him had reminded you of just how you had ended up here, about your last moments in the human realm. “You’re… you’re that same seal, aren’t you?”

“Again, does it matter?” The man answered.

You frowned and swiped the back of your hand against your cheek, wiping away some of the tears that ran cold on your skin. “I told you. It matters.”

Were you irrational and stupid for not running, or were you one of those humans who used their fragility as a weapon? Taehyun couldn’t make up his mind about you just yet. He scanned you up and down, your scratched-up body still on your knees in the dry moss. 

“Even if I am, don’t you think you should be running by now? You have been running all day, and yet, now that you see the one who got you here, you don’t even attempt to escape?”

Without thinking, you responded earnestly, “I don’t stand a chance anyhow. Why run?” 

He considered this. He knew you were right. You were already a wreck, and it had been less than a full day since you had gone off on your own. "Then why should I bother? You speak true, your fate is sealed. The forces of nature shall ensure that humanity receives their due retribution in due time."

He turned to leave, and you panicked. You didn’t want to be left alone again. Left to die. 

“Please, don’t leave me…” you said before you could stop yourself. Tears make your voice thick, sounding more like a plea than anything else. 

Taehyun stopped, but he didn’t turn around. Seeing your sorry figure beg him to save your life was something he had seen enough times for an entire lifetime. The ships of people he had willed into the depths of the sea had all begged to live, and not once had he cared enough to save a single person on board. “I don’t care if you die out here.”

You knew that, but you were desperate for comfort and safety. “Hold me.” 

Your voice was faint, but he heard you loud and clear. 

"What?" he exclaimed, his surprise sounding genuine. He had expected begging, but certainly not a proposition that would require him to spend an entire night next to a human. He spun around to look you in the eyes.

You didn’t hold anything back anymore. You refused to die out here. Any way to survive was a good way, even if you had to agree to things you never wanted to agree to. “Hold me. Don’t go. Hold me close tonight. Let me survive the night, and I’ll go back with you without any fuss and you can hunt me again without having to put in any effort!” 

“Without any fuss?”

“I’ll be super obedient.”

“Humans lie,” he said, pain now visible in his stormy eyes. 

“I won’t survive if I lie.”

“No. You won’t.” 

With that he sat down against the large rock beside you, his big doe eyes catching the last of the sun’s rays as he watched you come closer and crawl over to him and huddle close against his warm body. The fur that wrapped around him kept him warm in even the harshest of conditions. 

You didn’t question anything, already trying your best to live up to the promise you had made. No fuss. Just survival. 

Taehyun had never expected that he would wake up next to a human clinging to him like this. Let alone one that was supposed to be captured or killed by him. Instead, he watches you as you sleep, the morning sun lighting up your features. 

Your body is soft, your limbs all wrapped around him as if he was someone you loved, instead of someone you should be afraid of. It made his heart beat faster, heat creeping up his face as he caught himself pushing a lock of hair behind your ear. He hated you, he hated you as much as all other humans. Just because you were one of the prettiest humans he had seen up close, he couldn’t just abandon that hatred. He quickly pulled his hand away from you and pushed you off of him. You have gotten enough sleep. He needed you both to get back to the court before the hunt. 

“Let’s go,” he ordered the moment your eyes opened, a hand quickly shielding your eyes from the sharp sun that shone down through the foliage. 

“What?” you asked with a hoarse voice. “Is it time for work already, baby?” 

Taehyun knew you hadn’t meant him. But he couldn’t help the way his heart ached when you called him by the endearment. 

Humans, always playing tricks on each other. They don’t care about anyone but themselves, and they have the guts to pretend that they feel affection towards one another through names like those. 

He hated them. 

And you…?

You were in a lot of pain, but you didn’t whine as much as you would have liked to as you tried to keep your promise. And your captor didn’t complain about your slow hike back through the forest more than a couple of times. Neither of you were saying much at all if you were being honest. It wasn’t until after a few hours that you had to speak up about how thirsty and hungry you were, that Taehyun did anything but look back at you to make sure you were following him closely enough. He came close to you, stormy eyes looking down at you with disdain. 

“Once you humans get something, you always want more. I spared your life, so why can't you just come with me quietly?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll make it back without your help." You protested. 

He watched you as he considered if he should simply leave you to die, it was always an option. But with so little time until the hunt, he would have to put even more energy into finding a new human that could participate in the games. You just needed some water, he could use some too if he was honest. And he was always honest if nothing else. 

“Come on,” Taehyun said and turned around. Kneeling on the ground with his back towards you. You stood in shock, watching the back of his body as he waited for you. 

“You don’t mean…” you hesitated to finish your question, what if he would kill you for even suggesting something as absurd as him carrying you, his prey, on his back? 

“I don’t have all day. If you would rather walk yourself, that’s fine by me, but you better keep up.”

You carefully let your body rest against him as he rose from the ground. His body was much stronger than it might’ve looked under the thick fur that hung over his toned limbs. You felt the cold of a blade at his side, your skirt having slipped up just enough for your leg to be bare against the soft fur. It made you remember once again that he could change his mind and kill you at any moment. But he hadn’t, and you couldn’t help but be thankful for that. 

He carried you for miles, over the rocky mountain ranges, and through patches of higher vegetation. The entire time your core was being pressed against his hard back. You held back your thoughts the best you could, but having your hands wrapped around his strong shoulders made it hard not to think about how long it had been since you had last felt the relief of an orgasm. 

Taehyun himself had tried his very best to ignore the tiny sounds you made whenever he adjusted your position on his back. It wasn’t often he had been in a position where he heard that kind of sound coming from a woman, much less a human woman. The way it made blood rush to parts of his body he didn’t want it to, made him irrationally angry. 

Before you could make up your mind on how to handle the sensation you heard the faint sound of water. Salt filled the air, but you couldn’t see the ocean anywhere. 

“Are we there soon?” you asked hopefully. 

“Yes,” Taehyun answered without further explanation. 

Soon you could see what you had only heard, a large ocean, but no shore in sight. You two now stood on a cliff that dropped straight down to the angry sea below. 

“You don’t intend to throw me off into the ocean, right?” you said as a joke, but when you got no answer, you began to get a bit worried. 

He wasn't throwing you to your death this time though. “The stream over there has fresh water. You can do what you need to do there,” he said while dropping you down on your hurt foot, making you wince in pain. Reminding him yet again of how you had huffed right beside his ear for hours. 

You made your way over to the wide stream, watching as it flowed from the high mountains down the barren landscape only to disappear off the side of the cliff you stood on. The freshwater from the mountaintops joined the vast sea with a rumble of thunder that echoed up the rocky walls. 

In the cold but clear water, you drank until you had quenched your thirst, and began washing up. You had gotten both sweaty and dirty from running yesterday and sleeping on the ground last night. As you pulled off piece by piece of your clothing to wash every inch of your skin in the chilly water, you felt his gaze on you. 

He had tried not to look, but it was hard to look away from your sensual body. The way your back curved, your legs that you oh so carefully washed clean, and when you turned a bit he could see the curve of your chest. Nipples hard from the cold, hands smoothing down the curves of your body as you got rid of any signs of your struggles from the previous day and night. 

Taehyun couldn’t take his eyes off of you, his prey, basking in the sunlight, stripped down to almost nothing. If this was another trick of yours, you had succeeded, he thought bitterly. He pressed on his hardness, but it only grew as you threw on only your shirt and began walking back towards where your hunter sat. You had quickly tried to wash everything else you owned and thought that if the sun couldn’t keep you warm enough, maybe your captor could help you yet again. 

Your intentions might have been less than pure, but you never actually thought the man who had seemed so indifferent to you would ever give you the pleasure you craved by now. However, you immediately spot what he’s trying to hide when you come close enough to see his tense stance. It was big. Hard, and hard to hide. 

It honestly turns you on even more. You have been high on adrenaline for hours, then cuddled to sleep by one of the most ripped men you have ever seen in real life. Edged by his back, and then aroused by his gaze on your naked body. His erection was just proof that he felt the same way you did. 

It might be a bad idea to sleep with your enemy, but- 

Why not release some steam before you have to figure out a new way of getting out of this situation?

Taehyun seemed oblivious to your plans, too focused on the way you stood, half-naked, watching him carefully from only a couple of meters away. He couldn’t meet your eyes, but he could feel them seeing through his fur coat, noticing every involuntary twitch of his body. 

When you had made up your mind you didn’t give yourself a chance to change your mind. 

You went straight up to the man where he stood, wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing your soft body against his hardness. “Tell me if you don’t want me,” you stated before kissing his lips softly. 

He returned it with fierceness. The passion of his tongue pressing into your mouth made your core ache for his touch. It didn’t matter who either of you were. It didn’t matter how you had gotten here. When he laid you down on the sun-warm grass and kissed down your body all you could think about was the pleasure he would give you. 

When his tongue flicked over your hard nipples your back arched into his touch. You were a needy mess when his fingers pushed their way inside of you. Your first orgasm washed over you as you moaned into the open sky above and his hand pressed against all the parts you needed him to touch. This only seemed to spur on the fire in your hunter’s actions even more. 

Caressing, more gentle than you had thought any fae capable of, and kisses, laden with the attraction you both held for one another made your mind fog up. 

When you begged him to put it in, he obeyed. Giving you exactly what you asked for. You had never felt so full, and you wished that your ex could cry about how he would never be able to fill you up this good. You meet Taehyun’s thrusts with your hips each time, grinding up against him, chasing your high yet again. His moans echoed in your mind. They sounded like the most beautiful siren melody, and you were already a lost soul in the deep waters that belonged to the man who had you screaming for more even as you knew what awaited the two of you in your future. 

He came on your stomach, your legs quivering as your core clenched around nothing once his length left you empty. The last thing you thought before giving in to the tiredness was that you had finally found your ticket out of this place. 

Not even as he fucked you had he taken his fur off. It had to mean something.

Your eyes open but your body stays completely still. The sun was setting once again, the sun shone down on your hunter's sharp features. He held you safely in his arms, and you couldn't ignore the fact that he was truly enchanting. Your hand smoothed over the fur that was loosely wrapped around his body. You had no idea what it could mean to him, but perhaps you had been right when you recognized the pattern of the fur. 

Maybe, this man was that same seal. And maybe, this fur was the only way he could shift between the two. 

You remembered what you had promised. But did he truly expect you to stick to your promise even as he was bringing you back to the people who had held you captive as a prisoner for weeks? He couldn’t be that naive. 

He was still asleep when you ripped the fur from his body. Leaving him bare, so gorgeous you almost regretted betraying his trust in this way as it meant you would certainly never see or feel his touch on you again. It was too late now though. You held his fur in your hand, grabbing the knife that had been attached to the garment. Taehyun woke from your movements and the knowledge that what he cared for most had been taken from him. 

“Give that back,” he warned, eyes watching the knife pressed to his fur with caution. You could hear thunder in the distance. 

“Send me home, and you can have it back.” You tried to steel yourself for what he would say or do in response to your actions. 

It was a threat, and he had messed up by even giving you the chance to make the situation disadvantageous for him. 

“I shouldn’t have expected you to be any different in the end. Always lying, always taking everything.” He thought about his own family, his parents, brothers, sisters, and cousins. All were killed by humans, hunters, and collectors. They always betrayed nature, and they were all liars who should never be trusted. 

You had just proven years of hatred and suspicion true with your betrayal. 

“Hand it over.”

“Not unless you promise to get me home!”

“I thought you knew that you wouldn’t survive if you chose to lie to me.”

He sounded hurt under the anger. Surprisingly, it pained you. Had you grown affectionate of the man you had been hunted, led astray, and were supposed to hate after a few gentle actions of affection from him?

You couldn’t think about it. Not now. You needed to get home. 

“Send me home! I don’t want to do it, but I can’t die here!” 

Taehyun’s gaze didn’t leave your grip on his fur. You didn’t know the power you held over him by holding that in your hands. If you truly destroyed it, he would be dead within a day. But telling you would only give you more power. How did you figure it out? Had his stern facade been broken down by a mere human woman?

He growled out his next words. Hating every second you were still in his sight. “Fine. give it to me, and you will go back.” 

You knew it was dumb to trust him, but if his previous actions and the myth about fae not being able to lie was his true self, he would keep his promise no matter what. You lowered the knife, holding out the coat. 

Your chest heaved with adrenaline. You didn’t know if you could bear meeting his dark eyes after what you had done. But it would all be worth it once you got home. Right?

Taehyun reached for his fur, snatching it out of your hand. His gaze was finally able to look at you once it was back in his possession. You looked apologetic, it disgusted him. You didn’t deserve to beg for his forgiveness, even through your eyes.  

When he took a step closer, your grip around the blade you still held tightened. Would he kill you instead? 

The clouds above your head draw nearer, thunder coming closer with every second that passes. You could barely hear him over the sounds of the waves below the cliff you stood on, breaking against the mountainside. You stepped back as he stepped towards you, his dark eyes keeping your attention locked on him. You didn’t even register how far he had pushed you until he put his hand on your chest, worried he might feel how hard your heartbeat was from his intimidating stare.

 “I never want to see you again.” his voice barely above a whisper. With a gentle push, his hand left your skin, and your feet were no longer on solid ground. You fell down the cliffside. 

Did he just push you to your death? You didn’t even scream. You simply accepted what had happened as you fell. At least, you had tried to get back home. Your body cracked through the surface of the water. But it didn’t hurt as much as you had imagined falling to your death would. 

When the darkness enveloped you once again, you were convinced this was the end of your depressing life. But, if he was anything, Taehyun was honest. He would keep his promise no matter what. You found yourself resurfacing from the water onto the same shoreline you had left just a little while ago. Struggling for breath, you managed to crawl back to the safety of the land, coughing up water and feeling your lungs ache more than the rest of your body.

You had made it back from the place no one was to return from. Thanks to him. 

Reblogging and commenting is highly appreciated!! Hearing what you thought is what makes writing and being here overall so much fun! Ty and ily 💕

[calypso-finale]

Ninety Two.

It is crazy to think that Ti is in LA but she has been that busy she hasn’t seen me, not even mad because seeing her project come together on Instagram and her campaign I totally understand and I totally support it but to see her finally come home, I haven’t been back to my own house since, my mother wants me to be close to her so I am staying at my parents house since everything “you got a lot of explaining to do” Ti pointing at me which made me laugh as I hugged her “I probably do” I mumbled, I have been through the trenches “it’s been fucking months, you have been on the run too. I have been peeping from the side lines, I have been there. Trust me but I couldn’t step in, I couldn’t get involved sister, this is something you had to go through” Ti said in my ear “I fucked up badly” I mumbled “we saw” she moved back from the hug “but I don’t hold it against you that you didn’t come to see me because you have been busy” she held my hands in hers “I know, I did text you because mom was like come and I said look I really can’t because it’s a lot going on but I am here now and we can catch up for real” she says catch up but I have so much to say to her “when I heard about Oakley I thought fuck, I wanted to reach out but I know you would be mourning you wouldn’t be a person to speak too at the moment, I just. I am just so glad he is ok really, and you need to quit dragging him through court, I hope you’re stopping that?” nodding my head “oh thank god, I didn’t agree with it either. You know what I know Oakley and I, well more me. I did think he was this and that, but I know he was a good dad, and I know when you found out he was having another child you wasn’t going to take it lightly, so to me to know what you did, it was very Rylee of you but my nephew, he really got dragged into it. Mom” Ti said, looking behind me “good to see you remember us” she said “I know mom, but my god. This has been taking over my life then the whole thing with Taylan, just a lot but I am here now” I always doubted her, and Taylan would have made it, but they did more then us, they are still together so that is a thing.

Ti groaned out “it is so good to be home, also get spoilt too when I am here but where is my nephew!?” she spat “oh Grace and Amerie took the kids out, he doesn’t like me. I fucked up bad, he and I aren’t close, and I have to heal myself before I can love him, but I feel so bad” Ti cringed “really? You was in the zone of fucking up, that is the thing with me and you, I was in that zone but I had no child to think of so I can do whatever” Ti is right, she can do what the fuck she want without consequences “once I heard Oakley did that, I wanted to see him hurt. Saint was there. The thing is Oakley kept pushing it and then I did it, I just did what I fucking didn’t need to do and Aziel witnessed all the fucking shit I did, and he was there clinging onto Grace, and all he wanted was to be home. And I know he misses London; he misses home and right now I need to be here. I just really am a mess” shaking my head, over something I made, I made this mess “he is young so there is time, how is therapy going? It’s hard isn’t it” nodding my head “fuck yes, my god. To realive my childhood, to think I thought nothing was wrong when everything was, it’s a reality hard hitting. He said at one point where did I think I got this behaviour from; I was like you’re rude and he said no, you assume nothing is wrong and cheating is ok but where did you think that came from? That cheating is ok, how did you feel when your mom took your dad back for his wrong doings? Then it hit me, he was saying I saw mom take dad back always, like he could do this and that but they will always be” Ti nodded her head “it’s hard hitting but you realise that it was all wrong, everything we learnt was wrong. When they said to me why did I feel the need to create drama, and then he asked how does it feel to be second. I nearly cried, it’s harsh but look it works, look at me. I am happier then ever and I am still seeing mine, once a month but it’s a good thing” putting my head down “I agree, he said that I jump to do things before discussing the issue because I don’t want to be hurt, because I saw hurt with my mom, and I am scared of that feeling. It’s still early days but I am just really wanting my son to love me again, I am still mom” wiping the tear that fell “he will, he is just hurt” I shook my head, I am a shit person.

I chuckled “I said to mom that we was the tester children because look at the younger ones, they got a whole different life. They don’t know shit man, like they have the perfect life. I mean what they may argue but they did they get the morning wake up that we going Barbados, the door banging the shouting. The announcement that dad is a bastard, he is rude, he is cheating. Seeing dad with Saweetie, remember that? Like I see the younger ones and I am jealous that they get the peace, they have the perfect wake up, the perfect home. I am jealous but like it’s whatever, the tester kids can be ok” I chuckled “and we can! Imani is well, me I am well and you! So can you, but how is Oakley? I mean I haven’t been keeping up with him but my god, that video. Rylee, to see you with him. I love the sunset moment; I feel like he was so happy with you. And you was so good with him, you can see the love in your eyes. Like noting is different with him, I cried, and it made a big man like Taylan say, that guy loves her. I was like huh? And he was teary eyed, and he just said, the way he looks at her, he does. I doubted him and I feel bad, he feels bad. Like a lot happened and I feel like it’s a second chance at life for him, and if you ever do speak to him. Or if we do, he deserves a sorry, a proper one. But Taylan was sad, not like him at all but it was heart-breaking to see, look at me now” she laughed, she is getting emotional “and I ruined it really, I didn’t realise in that moment when I was recording him that he was doing that. I was behind the camera just stressed out, and I was upset. It was hard to see him, he wasn’t eating or anything. Just yeah, but I pushed him so much that he overdosed and like the therapist said, it wasn’t your fault, but it can add to the issue, he said that I am not evil, but I have a notion of getting revenge, and it sounds like mom so much. Am I Rihanna?” Ti busted out laughing “you are, and I am sorry to hear that for you” side eyeing her.

Placing my drink down “how is you and Taylan? Enough about my sad life” she waved me off “be quiet, but it’s well. We are well, the space did us better. I feel like we are communicating better, we miss each other more. He used to be demanding, and a little too much and it was always about him, now it’s like we are one, we are equal. He said to me that you know, come back to New York, I said no babe. I am in LA, but we make it work. I go there and he comes here, I just feel like we needed that space. He needed to understand I don’t need him too” she laughed “yeah like you was too open to him, like he assumed you needed him?” I said “exactly that, I think eventually I told him that you may need to move to me, and he didn’t like it but he was silent, I feel his silence is him agreeing to disagree” I chuckled “I am happy for you, even if like you know me. Even if I didn’t like him you lasted well with him, seems like you have your way, I may not like your posts too” she pointed at me “bitch, I noticed! Are you the one reporting me” I laughed “bitch no! I just was like fuck these lovers, fuck them but it’s cute too. Oh my god, you know what mom said to me, she said she thinks Imani and Willow are you know” eyeballing “shut up!” Ti spat “I was like mom she likes boys; mom thinks Imani is lesbian but won’t admit it, I am like what!? So I think we need to intervene, we need to find out because mom is on something but then she said, tell me a boy she likes, I couldn’t say” Ti is in shock “no way” she said again “it’s all going on in this house” I chuckled.

I feel like a child being here with my mother, the way she escorts me to the session makes me laugh so she knows I am going to it “you always laugh when your mother escorts you here and watches you sit down” he said, “uh yeah because she thinks I’m a child, I can walk here to this room myself, but she doesn’t trust me” I shrugged, she is funny “she cares, so shall we get right to it?” Nodding my head “how has your week been? Since we have changed it to a week now, tell me what is your feeling? You seem light hearted” he got that “I am, just my sister is here and it’s nice to talk to her and really just speak on things we both went through especially when she witnessed it too, I’m happy” I admitted, I feel it “good, I think as we enter your new era and as you see your sister as not your enemy, I mean we spoke on that and came to the conclusion that she wasn’t your enemy, she was also a child going through the same as you but because you took it and you tried protecting them you saw that they didn’t go through it and you dealt with her trauma alone, it is never the case. You all three went through it and with talking you get to hear it, when you don’t talk or listen we close off. So your sister is here, that is Tianna?” Nodding my head “also Oakley is out of his coma, which is such good news and he mentioned me, he remembers me. He suffered memory loss, but he remembers me” I gushed, he laughed which I don’t know if that is a good thing “how did that make you feel?” He asked “hope, if my mom and dad didn’t have me locked down I would be in London right now” I had to say what I know I would do “and we discussed the notion of jumping, I am glad you didn’t. That is something you don’t need to do when you are healing yourself, but I am glad to see you feel happiness and hope. But we need to stop jumping and start thinking, it’s a step forward and I’m praising you for staying and sticking around. You are taking it in, what is your future plan? Clearly you don’t want to be here at your parents’ home?” Shaking my head “back to London, I want to get back to not normal because that wasn’t good but back to where my heart is. I am hoping I can get back to Oakley, even speak to him as a friend. Nobody understands the bond we have” he pointed his own at me “why don’t people understand? What makes you think they don’t?” He always gets me with this “the age gap, they see I am a child and I have shown I have been. But because they see age gap they don’t think we belong” he nodded his head “but you feel you do belong; how would you feel if Oakley said no?” I swallowed hard “there could be a moment where he may say no? What will you do?” He squinted his eyes at me; that alone hurt to hear “co-parent with him and be there for Aziel” he is judging me “but you’re hurting, it’s ok to hurt Rylee. You’re not a robot but it’s how your react and do things” I will be upset but I need to work on that, I miss him so much.

“Have you spoken to North? We spoke on this and how you feel that you both can’t be friends?” That is something I need to do “no, but I know like, I feel like we are friends but friends with the past us. She wants me to be something I’m not and when I do be that I lose myself, and I feel as a friend she would know that. Lillian and Halle are upset with me, and I still don’t know where to put my face with them, it’s a shot situation. They told me; they begged me. They knew it and I didn’t listen, and I feel ashamed” I ranted “never feel ashamed, real friends will understand you need to make that move. Maybe you need to gather the momentum to do it, this week?” I chuckled “erm yeah” I grinned “I will ask this, so how about Aziel, how are things?” I believe he will “steady, he did come to me during the week, he fell down or should I say my brother was playing football and he threw the ball it hit him, and he fell and he cried to me, he came to me. And I felt so” I dragged out “emotional because he tried to not come to me, he was always going to others but then all of a sudden he came to me, he wanted to come to me, he wanted mommy and that really made me emotional because I miss hearing that. But also he knew that I would sort my brothers out” I chuckled “I see so he thought mother would be the one, but have you taken the steps to try and be there and be around him more” nodding my head “he didn’t like me touching him because I think he saw me with Saint and he didn’t like that, but now he’s letting me touch him and that alone it makes me happy, I think it’s a slow process. Maybe he’s realised Saint isn’t around” I just want my son and I to be back to normal, but I know it will be a slow process, I am willing to do that.

My mother and Tianna just stared at me like something bad has happened, I come out of therapy smiling and they are gloomy “I’m going to call my lawyer, tell her” my mom walked off “what happened now?” Ti huffed out, did something happen “why did I come back with such negativity? What happened?” I am so confused “Saint hasn’t stopped, he posted you again and wrote a rant. Just stand there, he wrote. Rylee hiding behind her dad now when she was out there riding me and my car with her son in the back, she said this is the life she wanted. She didn’t want to be no baby mother and not to a nobody that is on his death bed. You want to start we can start, you’re a drunk mess spilling secrets of how you didn’t love Oakley, but you was stuck with him because you had that child. If you want to start then I have video of you drunk. Don’t come to my mom home again and act like you own shit when you don’t. And then there is a video of you drunk, like clearly you talking shit, but he is incriminating himself because he grabs your face and you said like your dick, but you was so out of it, and he posts another one where you’re passed out and Aziel is there” my mouth fell open “mom is getting her lawyer, she is fixing it. Don’t worry about it, he is bitter. You are doing great, fuck that but that is what happened” Ti is talking but my heart has dropped, I am speechless “why would he do that, that is lies. Why bring Oakley into it. Oh my god” my heart is in my mouth, like this is horrible “Rylee, don’t be upset about it, men for you” I swallowed hard “but dad did call, he is so mad, but Oakley family are calling you unfit, and said after everything you done to him. But dad is fixing it” I just broke down crying, this is a mess.

[wistfulweaverwoman]

Dear Lucas,

I dreamt about you again. We were fourteen, and by we I mean that we were always the same age, except on your birthday. But I always caught up the next day.  We sat together on the concrete stairs at the back field of our high school. We were just talking and you kissed my cheek. That never actually happened. But maybe I fantasized about it because it felt like a memory.

Over the years I’ve often thought about you. I wondered if, like me, you’d met someone and fell in love. I got married and we started a family. Did you? I wondered if you still like to go fast.

We were eleven the first time I saw you with your weird haircut and that Nirvana tee shirt. I can still picture it, your face. Your brown eyes and tan skin. Your hair was a warm dark brown, like maple syrup. You were small and skinny, but I was short too. I think you had the cassette tape and you showed it to me, but maybe that was someone else. I’m not sure when I acknowledged to myself that you were the most beautiful boy I’d ever met, but that never changed. At least not until my own boys were born.

Too shy to talk to you directly I found myself talking louder when you were near, wanting you to notice me too. Later that winter, at recess, Julye went and told you that I liked you. She came back and told me you said I was cool. But too fat to date. I was mad that she said anything because I already knew, those were the rules back then. It didn’t stop me from liking you. I’m not sure what that says about me.

In the spring we were running relays in PE but I was so short everyone always gained on me. You were cheering for me though. My shoe caught some friction with the gym floor and my bum knee (yes I had a bum knee at eleven) went backwards and I crumpled into a heap. Dan landed right on top of me. You called me Ricochet, a play on my name, because I was always falling and bouncing off of things. Every time I’d show up on crutches after that you’d smile and shake your head at me. I’d just shrug. I was clumsy. And you noticed.

When we were thirteen we passed each other in the wide hallway during class, so there was no one else there. The sky was blue and the sun was shining and maybe it was halloween because for some reason I was wearing the dress my mom and I had made for ren fair. As we approached each other you said that I looked pretty. Or rather you said you liked my dress, but it felt like you meant that you thought I looked pretty. I was startled and could barely say thank you. I may have only meant to but said something more like oh. We didn’t stop walking though. Not till you called my name. I turned and looked at you. I can’t remember speaking. You weren’t looking at me though, when you said nevermind and turned away. 

You still smirked at me that spring when I showed up in math class with crutches.

At some point I’d had a slumber party and one of the kids convinced me (probably a dare) to call you on the phone. I don’t know how I had your phone number, maybe the white pages? We talked on the phone for hours. You had friends over too. I wouldn’t tell you my name, even though you asked several times, but you wouldn’t guess either. It was the most we ever spoke. Dan was there, he tried to guess, but he was wrong.

I have a weird fleeting memory that I went to your house once. I think I remember meeting your dad, he’s an artist, like my mom was. And your mom, but I can’t remember what she did for work. I don’t remember why I’d have been there. Maybe a school project? I remember the jungle painting your dad made on the wall. 

I used to listen to that one song by the Cranberries on repeat thinking about you, which didn’t at all help me get over you, but I did it anyway. It was a stroke of dumb luck when Kelly moved across the street from you. She liked you too. It was a secret that we shared. Our own little I love Lucas club. If I could call her now I would, but she’s lost to me now too. I thought about you so much that I started to dream about you. 

When we were fourteen we had English together. You sat one row over and one seat up from me. You were absent one day and there were whispers that you’d gone joyriding and your parents let you sit in jail a bit to teach you a lesson. I never found out if it was true or not, but it didn’t surprise me. You always seemed to love to go fast.

Once I got a wild hair and decided to try to learn to skateboard, probably because it’d give me an excuse to follow you around after school. I went with another girl, Meredith. We followed the pack of skater boys around like puppies, but only twice. Because I’m clumsy and my balance was always terrible. None of the boys teased me to my face and so I was never embarrassed that I tried. 

After that I kind of got caught up in my own bullshit and my struggle with mental health. I started liking other boys too, and I stopped searching for you in between classes. But every time I happened to see you I thought God he’s beautiful.

When we were seventeen I moved away across the bay and finished school there. By the time I moved back to our hometown I’d thoroughly lost track of you. I’d stopped thinking about you by then, except your birthday.

I never stopped dreaming about you though. 

When we were twenty-one I saw you for the last time. Your being at my work surprised me and I think I was embarrassed, because I pretended to not know you. You were there to valet an event, which seemed to track. You’d become a man, somehow. I can still picture your face. Your brown eyes and tan skin. Your hair was short, maybe a little darker, your features still delicate. The uniform was too big for your slender frame. You were so solemn. But that’s really how you were, when you weren't surrounded by your friends. At least that’s how I remember you.

When I was thirty-six I commented on something on facebook. It was some post asking what was the most embarrassing experience ever. Impulsively I commented that it was the time Julye told you that I liked you, back when we were eleven. I think I tagged her. She messaged me pretty quickly. Did I know that you had died? That it’d been almost ten years since the accident. Snowboarding. I’m shocked, but it doesn’t surprise me. That going fast was what took you. Or at least your body. I’m not surprised that you didn’t want to stick around in a body that couldn’t move. Apparently we stopped being the same age a long time ago. But I still think of you on your birthday every year. I wonder how your parents are doing.

I didn’t grieve for you then. I was too busy not grieving for the baby I lost. And then a year later my mom died and I lived in a black hole of survival that took seven years to climb out of. Something changed a few weeks ago and I started writing again. I hadn’t, not since I lost my baby.

But I dreamt about you the other night. And I’ve been crying two days straight like I’ve just found out. You died almost seventeen years ago. But I feel like I’m fourteen and my heart is broken.

My treacherous brain keeps you alive in my memories and even though I rarely remember what I dream about, when I do, it’s usually about you. I try to pack you away in a box in the attic of my brain, like I did in high school. Because you were just my crush. We didn’t really know each other, so how can I remember loving you? But that’s not really how memories work. I once read an article about memory. It was something about if you fantasized enough about a thing your brain recalls it as an actual memory. 

Either way, you’re dead and it’s a fucking tragedy.

Love,

That Girl you sometimes caught noticing you

[thoughtslikeocean]

March 3, 2024 5:07 PM

Back to vent. I know all of this won't be a big deal in the long run. But as we know all emtions need to be felt, vented and worked through as they say...

WHHYYYY did my mom go and call my dad and ask him for money to help with the repairs of the house. It really made me mad for multiple reasons.. 1. If and when I need it, I know how to ask myself. 2. This wasn't exactly the best timing to be asking my dad for money. 3. I already knew how he was going to feel about giving me lump sums of money without be having a secure income. 4. This is a project that my mom and I decided on. So to make decisions and expect someone else to financially pitched in when they had nothing to do with it is kind of insane.

I'm not mad at my dad for anything he said, im mad that the conversation even had to be had. It was unnecessary. Soooooo nowwww, I have to play damage control once again.

Starting with, I'll allow dad to help me pay for the engineer report but in that same conversation , I'm gonna let him know that any money I am in dire need of, I will let him know. If you get any requests from my mother, just say "okay, I'll talk to Kailey about it". My focus at this time isn't this house, it's getting licensed nationally so I can start working in my field. Once that happens, I can transition back to thinking about the home.

I don't think i'm going to tell my mom anything because I just don't think she'll have the depth to understand. She'll still low-key on a revenge plot over the years she's raised me and "all the money she put in". She still feels slighted. Hasn't let go. And in situations like these, this is where it tends to show it's head. It's not my job to help her through that. Just like it's really not my job to manage the expectations between the both of them. I'm however doing it in this case to make sure the relationships I have with them remain intact. I'm saving myself. Right now, that means letting dad know that what she call and says or asks for (as it relates to me), need to have conversation with me about it. It'll give me peace of my mind on his end.

As for her, I'm going to get the engineering report. And once it comes back with all the million things that need to be fixed. I will be letting her know that I can't do anything with the actual house until RE is up and running/I have better income than currently. If she decides that she wants to move forward, then she can continue to make all the decisions for the house.

So what's my next steps now that I've gotten that off my chest? One foot in front of the other. Crossing bridges when I get there.

Well for one. I'm gonna finish smoking this blunt.

-I'm going to put on some worship music and pray

-I'm going to lock up next door

-Then I'm going to go inside and clean my room and bathroom, and unload that box (Maybe throw in a load of laundry)

-Make some tea and plan your meals for this week (This might include you going to the grocery store tonight, just push through if so)

-Prepare for gym in the morning.

You got this Kailey. This is just a minor setback and you're in need of redirection. You know what's important. Set your eyes back on that.

Now lets get to it!