#my new years is just full of bad luck so far i hope this isn't a bad omen

[cozylittleartblog]

worst way to start my new year, thanks. i have a lot of things to say about these companies but i'm tired and just keeping it focused to the pin side of things for this one. do not ever buy pins from these companies, literally ALL of them are stolen from small artists like me. if you want to buy enamel pins, check out etsy, and artist's personal websites and shops! (though even Etsy has some bootleg pins that ship straight from china, so tread carefully…)

Every pin I've designed is, thus far, EXCLUSIVE to my etsy. if you find it anywhere else, it's been ripped off! and once these stupid bootlegs pop up, it's basically a never ending game of whack-a-mole trying to get them all taken down...

[solradguy]

I hope this isn't too inappropriate a question, but I was wondering if you have any advice when it comes to binders? Like, I know a lot of the minutia, but are there any companies you recommend that make good ones? I'm new to the whole actually-doing-it part and I've found conflicting stuff so I though it was better to ask someone who went through that whole thing already. Tbh I don't know anything about your transition and you might not have even did much of that but you're like the main transguy I know

No worries at all!! I'm really comfortable talking about trans stuff and what I've had to do to get where I am, so if you have any other questions please don't hesitate to toss 'em my way and I'll do my best to help out. The only major trans stuff I haven't done yet are any surgeries and changing my name/legal gender marker (pain in the ass to do in Ohio....).

I got kinda lucky and don't really have much boob tissue going on so I don't bind very often, but I do have two GC2B binders: a full tank and a half one. The full one is a lot more comfortable, imo, because I can tuck it into my pants and it kinda like smooths my entire situation out instead of squishing just my upper body and chafing under my ribcage lol. Unfortunately, GC2B's binder quality has dropped BAD in the last 5 years or so. If you can get one for free or dirt cheap then it might be worth it, but otherwise I'd avoid them.

One of my other trans masc buddies has some binders from Underworks that he really likes. He used to have one of the GC2B ones and it got a huge hole right in the middle of it after less than a year... As far as I know, his Underworks ones are still holding up and it's been over two years now. He did say that they were pretty stiff when they first came in and that washing them with just a tiny bit of fabric softener helped. Be careful using too much fabric softener on them though or they'll loosen up maybe too far. Here's their site: https://www.underworks.com/tri-top-chest-binder

I've seen people say Shapeshifter's binders are good too, though I don't personally know anyone who has one by them. They're a lot more expensive than the Underworks binders.... Here's their site: https://shapeshifters.co/

Make sure you read the sizing charts!!! The very first binder I ever bought was WAAAAYYYYY too small because I didn't read the chart very well... I've found that following the chart and then going up one or two sizes fits the best, depending on how big your chest is/how much compression you'll need.

Here's a big spreadsheet document of a lot of other trans resources with comments on specific things for each site too, like where they're based, shipping details (if the packaging is discrete or not, etc), if they're a charity, and so on. There are other binder websites listed and sites for other gender affirming clothing and packers and stuff too: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1lSKoxVant40alYL-MZAP9QekUxjl3mH2EB3MidSk0b8/edit#gid=0

There's also this post with even more resources, but it might be a bit overwhelming going through it all right now haha Including it anyway just in case: https://solradguy.tumblr.com/post/719033735814742016

Good luck!! I hope you're able to find one that both fits and is comfortable to wear for long periods ^^

[sixminutestoriesblog]

mirrors

Recently, I saw a video clip about a team of scientists that had put up a huge mirror in the jungle and then filmed the reactions of the wild animals that came across it. It was cute to watch the different animals react to the creature they saw in the glass. Apparently, this is one of the tests of self-awareness. If an animal recognizes that what they see in the mirror is not a strange animal but rather themselves, than it shows the animal may have a sense of 'self' and be self-aware. There's more to it than that involving dots of color and behavior and its not a sure fire method but the general gist is that it takes a self-aware animal to recognize itself in the mirror.

Humanity, probably unsurprisingly, really likes looking at themselves in the mirror.

And yet - I can't be the only one that avoids looking into mirrors at night while stumbling into the bathroom in the dark. I'm far too old to believe in monsters in the mirror. I know that its just a piece of reflective glass. And yet, if I look, in the dark, without any lights or distractions, what looks back at me never, quite, looks right. One day, something buried so deeply inside of me that it doesn't need modern man's logic, whispers in the back of my brain, that thing in the mirror will blink when you don't and you will be forced into a world you don't want to have to live in.

I also have one very old, full length, free standing mirror in my bedroom. It's a gift from my parents. It also has a thick layer of dust over the glass and I tend to leave clothes and blankets draped across it, obscuring what's reflected on the other side.

So, I think its safe to say that humanity, at least from the time of Narcissus, and probably long before that, has had a complicated relationship with our reflections.

Let's talk superstition.

Right off the bat, lets tackle the belief that breaking a mirror brings seven years of bad luck. Who came up with that idea and why seven years? Well, mirrors can be expensive, especially in ancient times. That's the logical answer. Doing a bit of digging though tells me that things went a lot deeper, and more visceral, than that. Reflections, like mirrors and later photographs, were supposed to be able to do more than just show your physical appearance. They were believed to be able to reflect your soul as well. Multiple cultures and time periods throughout the world have held this belief. Damaging a mirror, damaged the soul you were being shown. Why seven years? Well, the Romans believed that your soul renewed every seven years, so all you had to do was wait out the bad luck for seven years and by then you'd have a new soul that wouldn't be damaged by the previous bad luck. If you don't want to wait for seven years though, have hope. According to African-American lore that developed during their slavery in America, you could hold the mirror shards in the current of a stream that was moving south, washing away the bad luck. I've also read that grinding up the mirror until it no longer reflects anything was also believed to work.

If mirrors reflect souls, than they're not just handy for checking on your own, are they? You can check other people as well. Like say, your host who has a habit of climbing out the window of his bedroom and lizarding down a wall for instance. I've heard that the silver backing in old mirrors was a 'pure' metal and so wouldn't reflect back anything that was impure and that's why vampires don't have a reflection. Some of the sources I'm finding right now though, say that vampires don't show up in mirrors because vampires don't have souls. Without a soul, there's nothing for the mirror to reflect back. Whatever the reason, if your employer isn't showing a reflection in your shaving mirror, it might be time to do some lizarding of your own and get out of the castle before he starts wearing your clothes and pretending to be you.

All right, so if mirrors can reflect souls, what about the dead? Once again, its surprising how many cultures around the world have a tradition of covering all the mirrors in a house with cloth when someone in that house dies. The general belief is that when a soul leaves a body it can become lost in the confusing maze of a mirror's interior and be trapped forever. Therefor mirrors are kept covered for a specific time after a death, sometimes until the body is buried, sometimes until the mourning period is over. To look into a dead person's mirror before that time is to invite death to come looking for you as well. This is also why new mirrors are considered good house warming gifts but antique ones are viewed with suspicion. You never know if an ancient soul could be trapped in an old mirror and that's not something you want to bring into your house.

Mirrors as portals is pretty common as well. Water, the very first thing we saw our reflection in, has another side to it. Why not mirrors as well? If a dead soul can get sucked into a mirror than so can other things. One custom says not to sleep with a mirror facing your bed, the threat being that it will suck out your undefended soul while you sleep. Another says to place a mirror in your entrance hallway, facing the door. This will scare away evil spirits and reflect bad energy back out your door. In fact, why stop at your doorway? Some cultural shaman wear mirrors sewn into their clothes to keep evil away. And let's not forget the sleepover tradition of young children playing Bloody Mary for a dare at midnight.

So are mirrors just all bad, all the time?

Not always.

If you drop a mirror and it doesn't break, congratulations! You get seven years of good luck. A married couple should stand in front of a mirror and look at their reflection together after they say their vows because it mingles their souls. Gazing into a mirror before a big speech or presentation is supposed to help you calm down the same way looking at still water does. And have you ever caught a glimpse of your reflection in a mirror you forgot was there and scared yourself? That's good luck too.

So the next time you look into a mirror, remember - you are a self-aware soul who recognizes that your reflection is only yourself when you see it.

Unless it isn't.

[laconic-nightmares]

if you have resources on splitting myself (im not sure how it would work? the impetus is a trauma of sorts but it would be a created plurality so idk) then that would be great. For what its worth I do already practice a distinction between the thoughts and 'me' and have used 'you/us/we' to refer to myself for forever?

and yeah, this seems like a bad way to cope but I have few options yk? ill try real therapy for me and esp the thoughtform when im able.

yeah it's difficult to be sure of origin labels when it's complicated like this, but we settled on the origin label of parotraumagenic because, similarly, our first split was due to the trauma of intrusive thoughts but simultaneously 'on purpose', even if we didn't know any names for what we were doing at the time.

as far as the actual creation goes, i don't really know how i did it, i just sorta 'did it' and experienced very subtle switching for about 5 years until i stumbled across the tulpa community. it was there that i created our tulpa, though my intent at the time was to hijack the consciousness that was already there and turn that into a tulpa. it didn't work so well though, but caim in turn used the process of me making our tulpa to give itself a more defined personality so idk, i guess it kind of worked?

also, it's my belief that a lot more people experience at least a form of psuedo plurality than we're aware of as a society. actors and writers have talked about their characters having minds of their own for centuries, and the concept of a muse is also vaguely pluralish. so yes, that distinction you already have is at least a small step towards it. i think it's incredibly common for people with intrusive thoughts to at least do a small version of what we're doing here as a means of coping.

anyway, enough rambling;

this Tulpa Creation Guide (1) appears to be the main guide in use by the tulpa community right now. there is also this giant list of guides (2) to look through

keep in mind that everything here is pretty separated from the rest of the plural community, so there are going to be a lot of different terms and a lot of different ideas as well. i'm a firm believer in picking and choosing what works for you, so don't feel beholden to any ideas presented in those guides that don't vibe with you.

especially don't be too concerned with the idea of making a fully separate consciousness to your own, or their ideas of full possessive switches (hell, you don't even have to have switches at all if you both vibe with that) - i've found their ideas don't fully gel with median systems (3) and that kinda seems to be what you're going for, they also don't always account for differences between polyconscious (4) and monoconscious (5) systems

i also wouldn't really bother with anything related to imposition. it's a cool thing to be able to do in theory, and if you want to get into it that's fine but it's pretty much just intentionally hallucinating your headmate into the real world and it's not necessary nor does it seem very useful for your case specifically

lastly, though there isn't much in the way of intentional creation of headmates, healthy multiplicity (6) has a lot of resources for how to manage being plural in ways that benefit the whole system, and i'd recommend having a look through all of that as well

i have also found a guide for self-directed exposure response prevention (7), which might be a good thing to do along with your new headmate once you're a little more established. i'll also direct you to the tiktok account (8) - along with their first video on the topic - that i discovered this therapy from

i wish you the best of luck and i do genuinely hope that things get better for you soon. thank you for your patience in the delay of getting this to you

plain text links under the cut in case any of them get weird

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Parotraumagenic - parotraumagenic definition

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1feviU9YQ4o773XEDeZHyjKugNoM1hTgA/view - tulpa creation guide

https://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas/wiki/guides/ - r/tulpa guides list

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Median - median systems definition

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Polyconscious - polyconscious definition

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Monoconscious - monoconscious definition

http://healthymultiplicity.com/ - healthy multiplicity

https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-self-directed-erp/ - self-directed exposure response prevention

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8xg9u8G/ - ERP tiktok

[quinloki]

Quin!! Hope this finds you well and it’s not too random but i saw in your new about me that you’ve had a lot of jobs. Kinda just need some advice bc I started a new job last month and it’s so icky but I feel so bad quitting. The girl before me just left a note that she couldn’t take the job anymore and I can’t blame her.

I have another offer with more monies and it should be a no brained to take but ugh T_T I just feel guilty. The new job I worry won’t be any better and maybe I’m the problem..

But the dude I work with has worked here for 23 years and barely makes $17 so I’m like… I can’ttttt. I started at $15 and it’s not enough

I won’t be even be able to give them a full two weeks most likely so I feel extra bad about that

Any advice you have would be appreciated I know what I should do I just have internal conflicts. I worry about being seen as a job hopper ;_; and my coworkers are cool so that’s hard too

Hope your day goes well!!

\o/

Cool coworkers are great, but they aren't enough to make sure your bills are paid and food's on your table.

Two weeks' notice is polite, in a way. It's only polite to a business that can't even pay people a livable wage, which is stupendously rude on its own. Give what you're given, I say.

I had two jobs I didn't give any notice to, and one I was fired from (happens when you don't sleep with the boss man, so whatever) - neither of these things kept me from finding different work. Some of that was luck, and also a product of the time. The job market in 2000-2005 was a different beast than it is today.

That said, with another job lined up, give what notice you can, and go.

Your coworkers are cool, and they're staying, probably because the pay is enough that they're not stressed. Maybe they worked there before it went to hell, and/or have other people around them to support them, so it's not as big of a deal.

There's always a chance you won't vibe the next job, but you won't know until you know, and for better or worse, there's really only one way to know >.>

I wish you the best of luck, and if the next job sucks, then just look for another. Being a job-hopper isn't a bad thing as far as I'm concerned. If the job was good enough to keep me, I wouldn't leave, and a lot of companies treat people like shit now a days it pisses me off.

A worker's obligation to a job is to do it the best they can, but only if the job fulfills its obligation to the worker - which is to compensate them fairly and treat them with respect.

And sometimes, we just don't fit a job. I am not capable of working fast food. I'm just not. I can't do it. I've tried. I've waited tables, answered phones, and worked on cars, and what have you, but kudos to fast food workers - you could not pay me enough.

So don't be too hard on yourself. Inner reflection isn't a bad thing, but I wouldn't over think this personally ^_^

[angel-riki]

Dazed & Dreaming {Ch. 1}

summary: Y/N's life was always quite normal, some may even consider it boring. However, Y/N enjoyed her simple life and the little pleasures it brought. Unfortunately, that all changed the day she found out her best friend's biggest secret. Her discovery leads her down a rabbit hole of a new and confusing world she never knew existed. She must now navigate this new life filled with love, fear, and the supernatural. What awaits her down this path?

pairing: enhypen x reader (vampire au)

warnings: light swearing

word count: 1,435

chapters: [Ch.2] [Ch.3] [Ch.4]

~~~~~~~~~~

The brisk autumn air pricked at your cheeks, making you shiver as you clutched your coat tighter around your body. You picked up your pace as your shoes tapped lightly against the pavement. Walking to school was nice this time of year, you loved the autumn scenery which was full of rich colors and leaves dancing in the wind. Winter on the other hand, was another story. It was also quite pretty, yet much more inconvenient and impractical. However, right now it was a pleasant walk.

Before you know it, you're at the entrance of your school, trudging up the stairs. Oh how you longed to be back in your warm, soft bed, asleep. You begrudgingly continued on your way when you heard a familiar voice ring out,

"Y/N! Wait up!"

You recognize the voice without even needing to turn around, it was Jake. Jake had been your best friend since he had moved here from Australia way back in middle school. He meant the world to you. You've grown so close over the years, he practically knows everything about you at this point. And you know all about him as well. You smiled and waved at the cheerful boy as he jogged to catch up with you. Slightly out of breath and with flushed cheeks, he greeted you,

"Good morninggg!" He drew out the last syllable with a dorky grin on his face. You giggled, he was always so cute without even trying.

"Good morning," you replied, happily.

"Kind of chilly this morning, huh? Did you walk to school again?" He asked.

"Yeah, I did. I always walk to school, you know that," you chuckled at his silly question.

"You knowww," he began,

Oh boy here we go, you thought.

"Heeseung would totally give you a ride to school if you'd like," he stated. Jake had made this offer to you a few times, however, you always declined. Heeseung was a close friend of Jake's yet he was merely an acquaintance to you at best, you would feel bad having him drive you around. Especially since he already gave Jake rides every morning.

Also not to mention, you found Heeseung incredibly attractive and you don't think your heart could handle that...

"No that's okay, I wouldn't want to impose," you politely declined like always. Jake sighed. You were always so considerate, almost to a fault.

"Y/N, Heeseung totally wouldn't mind, he isn't like that, you know." He smiled, trying to convince you to accept the offer. Especially, knowing that winter was just around the corner.

"I know...I just would rather not," you said trying to escape the topic as your cheeks began to heat up. Jake sighed defeatedly and decided to let it go as you both continued your way into the building.

*****

The end of the day couldn't come soon enough as you headed towards your final class; physics. Yay. You've always hated physics and although you were a straight A student, your grades suffered in that class. Thankfully, Jake was quite good at physics and was always happy to help. Over time, he basically became your tutor. You scanned the front board to see what the topic of the lesson was today. Like usual, you couldn't make sense of any of it. God, I wish I had Jake's brain, you thought to yourself.

As much as you tried not to, you ended up tuning out the teacher and his lecture as your mind wandered to anything but physics. Before you knew it, class was over and students began gathering their books and shuffling out of the classroom. Shit. I didn't pay attention to any of that. You mentally kicked yourself for slacking off. Well, at least the school day is over. You headed back to your locker where you saw Jake waiting for you.

"Hey Y/N, how was physics? I know it's your favorite class," he said sarcastically.

"Shut up," you slapped him playfully on the arm, "I actually totally zoned out the whole period. Therefore, I'm lost and you really have your work cut out for you as my tutor," you retorted.

He laughed and shook his head, "Y/N, you're killing me!" He said while jokingly clutching his chest in imaginary pain.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry I should honestly be paying you at this point," you laughed.

"Nah don't worry about it, I'm happy to help," he said. Gosh he's so sweet, you thought. Sometimes you felt like you didn't deserve him. But if you ever dared to say that out loud, you know you would receive an immediate rebuttal from him. Because that's just how Jake is.

*****

*BZZZ* *BZZZ* * BZZZ*

You rolled over and groaned. Ughhh, it's already time to get up? You had stayed up later than usual the night before. You had been facetiming with Jake as he tried to explain your physics homework to you. Unfortunately, it took you quite a while to understand it since you hadn't paid attention in class earlier that day.

Just 5 more minutes...you thought as you lazily snoozed your alarm.

*****

Your eyes fluttered open as you awoke for the second time. Hm, that's weird. Why didn't my alarm go off yet? You grabbed your phone to check the time. You squinted as your eyes adjusted to the bright screen. Oh shit. You had overslept for 45 minutes. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. You mentally cursed at yourself as you scrambled to get ready in half the time you usually do. You frantically threw on your school uniform and hurried to the bathroom to brush you teeth. You gasped as you saw your reflection. You had the worst bed head you had EVER seen. Just my luck. You quickly threw your hair up into a half updo. Guess I'm going for the messy look today. You hurried downstairs and grabbed a granola bar on your way out. You headed down your driveway only to see a car parked on the side of the road right in front of your house. You were a bit confused but as you got closer you were met with two familiar faces. Oh no. This is Heeseung's car. Your stomach did a backflip. Heeseung smiled and gave a small wave as Jake greeted you from the passenger seat,

"Hey, Y/N! Sorry for the surprise, I knew you would never accept the ride but the weather's getting colder and I don't want you to get sick," Jake rambled.

"Jake told me that you walk to school every morning, but I don't mind giving you a ride, it's no problem at all," Heeseung added with a kind smile.

You appreciated the kind gesture, however, you were mortified. Here you were, looking like the hottest mess of the century in front of the hottest boy of the century. This can't be happening. Of all days, why today?!

You smiled meekly, "Wow, uh, thank you that's very kind of you! I guess I'll take you up on that offer since you already went out of your way to come here," you said apologetically. The two boys smiled at you as you opened the car door and climbed into the back seat.

*****

So far, the ride had been fairly quiet until Jake suddenly broke the silence,

"Y/N, did you do something different with your hair?" Jake asked as he turned around to face you.

God, why did he have to bring that up??

"Uh, yeah, I actually woke up late and my hair was a mess so I just tried to make the best of it," you laughed nervously.

"Ohh, well it looks nice!" he complimented.

"Yeah, you look cute." Heeseung added with his eyes still on the road.

You froze. Your brain began malfunctioning as you tried to compute what Heeseung just said. He called me cute. You chuckled anxiously as you felt your cheeks burning up.

"Thank you," you said shyly.

Jake had noticed your abrupt change in body language, which confused him. But then, it all clicked. Oh...She has a crush on Heeseung. He didn't know how he hadn't noticed it sooner. He grinned to himself, amused by his realization. Suddenly, it made sense why you never accepted a ride.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hi, guys! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I know it was a bit slow, but once the introductory part is out of the way, hopefully things will pick up the pace. Regardless, thank you for reading! I am also uploading this series on wattpad, so if you’d like to support it over there, that would mean a lot! I'm hoping to publish new chapters a couple times a week so keep your eyes peeled hehehe

~Elle <3

[mysinsforbts]

The present I couldn’t give you

Kim Seokjin x (f) reader

Dom Boyfriend Seokjin x Sub (f) reader

Rating: +18  

About:  Birthdays mark the day of someones birth. That's why we celebrate those days and want to give presents to the people we like/love. You weren't any different. Seokjin's birthday was a day away and you wanted to make him happy. But what can you give to someone who has everything, at this time of the year, 2020. When you're insecure about yourself, Seokjin gives you courage and shows you the real meaning of a present. After all, things that come from the heart are the most meaningful ones. 

Warnings:  semi angst, smut, cursing, dom/sub heavy, dom Seokjin, size kink,  dirty talk, handcuffs, kitchen sex, daddy kink,  hickeys/marking, masturbation, vaginal fingering, oral (f), handjob, squirting, teasing and A LOT fluff.  (Let me know if I forgot something~ )

( I’m sorry it took so long! I’ve lost my inspiration for a long time. But I’m better now~ The description above sounds very bad.. lol ♡ )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 years of love. 2 years of happiness. 2 years of trust and hardships. Today is the day your wonderful boyfriend, Kim Seokjin asked you to be his girlfriend. It's a special day but not only because of your love. Today is also Seokjin's birthday. That is why you planned on doing something special for him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ A day before ~

"Ahh.. god! I don't know what to do. I don't want to buy something for him.. that is to easy. We also can't really go anywhere because of.. well 2020", you sighed while looking at your phone. You were talking to Jimin, a great friend of yours and Seokjin's group member. "Mhh... How about you sing him a song?", jimin smiled while trying not to burst into laughter. You giggeld but sighed straight after, "For what? To embarrasse myself or hurt his ears??". You knew that Jimin loved to tease you, but now wasn't the time. You just had one day left and you still didn't have a clue of what you could give to him. Jimin startef to laugh and turned away from you, "Sorry.. haha~ Mhh.. you could paint him something?", and than he continued to laugh. "Jimin!..", you blushed at the thought of giving Jin a weird drawing. You for the hell of satan couldn't draw or paint. "Do you have fun pointing out my weaknesses?", you giggeled while shaking your head. "What?? I'm sure Seokjin-hyung would love it. He probably would hang it on his wall no matter how bad it is~", jimin laughed while pushing his hair out of his face. You rolled your eyes and sighed, "But it can't be bad! It has to be something beautiful!".

"Write him a letter!", jimin said. "I did that already last year. It was 2 pages long", you sighed. "Make him a album with all your photos in it!", jimin brought up the next idea. "That!... oh no I did that also last year.. for christmas", you slowly lost hope. Was there anything you haven't done for him at this point??  "That is very difficult than..", even Jimin sighed now. "Good! There is only one option left! Do you wanna hear it?", he said with this smirk on his face. You knew something was up. "What??- I have the feeling it's a bad idea.. but tell me", you answered while taking your cup to take a sip from it.

"Give him a lapdance!", jimin proudly said while licking his lips. You couldn't believe what you just heard and chocked on your drink. "I should- What??-", you asked shocked while coughing. "Yeah! People do that and more in movies all the time!", jimin smirked, "That is porn jiminssi!", you heard jungkook's voice in the back. After you could breath again you turned back to your video chat, "I-.. you know what.. I'm not even gonna ask!", you blushed, "But Seokjin and I aren't that far in our realtionship..", you looked shy away.

"You can't tell me is vanilla?? He for sure isn't!", jungkook all of sudden grabbed jimin's phone and looked at you.. "I saw him buying handcuffs a few days ago!", he bursted out. "HE WHAT??", jimin and you asked at the same time. "I really saw it! So I wouldn't be suprised if he would be into a lapdance.. from you~", kookie smirked while giving jimin his phone back. "Ohh.. that is some news~ Who thought Seokjin-hyung is a dom??", jimin smirked too. You cheeks were so red and you felt so hot, like you were out in the glowing sun. The thoughts made you curious and you wanted to ask more, but..

"DID YOU honestly think I'm a sub??", you heard a voice behind your back. The voice sounded pissed but also ironic at the same time. "Jinni!", you said while turning around to your boyfriend. He was home sooner than expected. "Hey love~", seokjin said while kissing your head, "I didn't know you were disscussing our privat live with my group members~", he said laughing while taking off his jacket. You just blushed, "I- didn't-", but before you could end the sentence, Jimin answered for you. "No hyung, it was my fault I was teasing her about beeing so slow in a realtionship!", he giggeled and winked at you. You got the hint and decided to play along, "Yes and I was trying to explain to them why our realtionship is like that! And that I'm happy that it is what it is", you sighed while leaning on jin. Jin sat down right next you and kissed your cheek while laughing, "You're doing such a good job love! Not everyone has such a high sex drive like you Jimin~". Jungkook and you both started laughing while Jimin just pouted.

And the day also went by.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Today ~

As you woke up it still was dark outside. You looked around in the dark room before your gaze stopped at your sleeping boyfriend. He looked so handsome even in the dark. You were so lucky. As you layed there and watched him you still thought of a present. Buf before you could make a decission Seokjin cuddeld close to you and hugged you thightly. It looked so adorable. His big body with his bright shoulders clinging on to your small one. Not wanting to wake him you didn't move, just raised your hand to caresses through his hair.

Than an idea came to your mind. 'Something beautiful doesn't mean it has to be a lot', you thought. You decided to keep it simple this year. 'I will just make breakfast and give him a good massage!', you smiled, happy that you finally found a present. The only problem now was, how would you leave without waking Jin up. Seokjin's head was laying on your chest while his arm is laying on your thighs. Carefully you tried to sneak your legs out under his arm. As your legs were hanging out of the bed you gently lifted up jin's head and layed him on the pillow next to you. For your luck Seokjin just continued to sleep as he cuddeld himself into the blanket you just gave him. You toke your phone from the nightstand and searched for Seokjin's shirt. You loved wearing his clothes, they all smelled like him and they were so comfortable. You just had to find your underwear and than you could go. But finding it with just your phone light was not as easy as the shirt. 'Shit?! Where did jinni threw them last night??', you cursed yourself for not picking them up before you fell asleep.

You eyed Seokjin's boxers and smirked, 'well.. his fault', you thought while putting on your boyfriend's boxers. Now you finally could go into the kitchen. The moment you stood up, you felt yourself beeing pulled back, "Where are you going love??", seokjin whined while having his arms around you, pulling you close again. You layed your hands on top of his arms and giggeld, "I was going to the bathroom jinni~". You whispered, "Can you let me go please?". After a few seconds you felt his arms disappear, "But be fast! I feel lonely without you~", he whined while turning around. You did your best not to giggle at him. For what is he so adorable??

As you looked over to him once again, he breathed slowly. 'Guess he fell asleep again..', you smiled and stood up. You went into the bathroom and almost got a shook while looking into the mirror.  Your whole neck was covered in hickeys and bite marks from last night. Not just your neck, also your shoulders and thighs were full. 'Shit.. that's hot', you bit your lip and brushed your teeth. After you were done you walked into the kitchen and closed the door. It was still dark outside and the kitchen was colder than expected. First you made coffee for yourself, while taking a sip here and there you started to prepare everything for the pancakes. 'Cooking might be not my thing but for my wonderful boyfriend I'll try my best', that was what you thought.

Well.. it sounded better in your head. The moment you put the oil in the pan everything went wrong. First try. Second try. Third try. All those pancakes were to thinn and also a bit burned. Teary eyed you looked at the ruined food. 'If I continue like this jinni will laugh at me. I'll just embarrasse myself..maybe I should stop here?', you turned the stove off and thought about whatelse you could make for breakfast. But the longer you thought the more tears started to run down your face, 'I really don't deserve him', that was your end thought. 'Jinni does so much for me. But I... I can't even cook without having any problems..', you never felt more disappointed in yourself. You hid your face in your hands, not knowing what to do now, 'I'm the worst girlfriend ever.. I don't even have a present', the negative thoughts crashed down on you and it felt like all you could see was black. 

As soon as you wanted to rub your hand over you cheek, someone caught your hand in his. 'Jinni-', you thought while looking up to him. But all you saw was a blurr. The feeling of his warm, big hand on your cheek made you feel butterflys in your stomatch. With one touch, one word, one gaze he managed to wip all those bad thoughts away. "Love?", seokjin asked with his raw morning voice. The look on his face told you that he was confused, worried but also ready to protect you from whatever had hurt you. In that moment Seokjin was like the moon which stripped away your darkness. He was like a prince on a white horse. Like a hero from a action movie.

"What happened?? Please don't cry!", he whispered while kneeing before you, caressing over your cheeks. He reached over to gave you a tissue. But all you could do was hugging him, clinging on to his back. Without wasting a second, without saying anything he hugged you back. Seokjin held you tightly in his arms, while caressing your back. He looked around and realised that you probably wanted to cook something. A second later he found himself smiling. Today was his birthday and his amazing partner wanted to cook him something. That meant so much to him. He thought highly of you and he loved you so much. "Do you need my help? You know I'm the cook champion right?~", jin whispered in your ear and smirked as you started to laugh. You laughed with tears in your eyes. It always was a mystery to you how seokjin could make you feel so many things. One touch and you felt so safe as no one could ever hurt you. One word and you felt like the most loved person on this world. One gaze made you feel so much hope. And one kiss can make you lose your mind.

Jin looked at you with this warm, loving gaze. His eyes were so welcoming. His hand caressed the last bit of your tears away, before gently pushing your hair out of your face, "Whatever happened, I won't be mad love. So please talk to me?~", he said with a calm voice. You pouted while looking at him, "I wanted to make you pancakes for breakfast as your birthday present.. but I failed.. no matter how hard I try it just won't work. I'm very sorry Jinni". Explaining made you almost tear up again, "I thought you would be dissapointed, you always do so much for me but I can't even make you a simple birthday present..". As soon as you looked down Seokjin's fingers grabed your chin to make you look at him, "I'm not dissapointed! The thought alone makes me happy. That you would make something selfmade for me and you also tried so hard. Which makes me so proud as your boyfriend! Thank you Y/N! But my most amazing birthday present is you, by my side, 24/7~", jinni smiled and cutely squished your cheeks, "So please stop crying now? We should make some pancakes for breakfast right? I'll train you from today on! You better be greatful, the pancake-champion himself will train you!".

You started to laugh and grabbed his hands to pull them away from your face, "Okay I won't cry anymore jinni!". The moment he turned around, you moved fast and hugged him from behind. Hiding your face in his still naked back, "Thank you Seokjin! You're the best boyfriend someone could ever have! I'll try my best to learn from you", I whispered. After a few seconds of silence you noticed that Jinni still was shirtless and you just hugged him tightly. Blushing and trying to control your emotions you let him go while walking past him to the stove. "S-so what do we need first?", you asked while looking around trying to find an answer. From behind you could feel Seokjin smirk. But than he walked next to you like nothing happened. "We should start from the beginning, so you'll learn better", he said while smiling at you.

That's how you learned to make pancakes from your handsome boyfriend. You couldn't help but to admire him. Even his teaching was attractiv. Everyone knew how amazing Jin is at cooking but seeing it for yourself is really a blessing. The way his hand had such a strong grip and his veins just turned you on. Who could blame you? Your boyfriend was making pancakes, shirtless and with his veins popping out in his arms. Also the look he gave those pancakes didn't make it better. 'I wish he would look at me like that and grab me like-',.. "Y/N are you there?? Have you been listening to me?", seokjin stood infront of you with some finished pancakes, "I said.. you can sit down. We can eat~", with that he walked past you and sat down on a chair. You blinked once, twice and shortly followed him to also sit down. The moment Jin started to eat, you stopped him, "Jinni! Hold on!". - "to your hand?", he looked at you, just to start laughing. Leaning over the table, still laughing over his pun, you kissed him gently and whispered, "Happy Birthday", against his lips. Seokjin smiled against your lips. "How are you this sweet?", he smirked and kissed you back. Than he leaned away and placed a part of the pancake in your mouth, "You should eat too~". Your eyes opened in suprise and you sat back down. Chewing on the pancake you pouted and looked at your now happily eating boyfriend. He looked like he was in paradise. This picture infront of your eyes made you so happy and you couldn't help but to smile. After enjoying the sight for a few minutes, you started to eat too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ 2 hours later ~

You just finished cleaning up kitchen while Jinni went to take a shower. Sitting on the chair while leaning your head on your hand you couldn't help but to think about that handcuffs thing. What does he want to do with them? Will he test them out on me tonight? Just the thought alone made you thighs temble. It's not like Jin and you had never done it before. You did it a few times and you enjoyed every second of it. But that thought of beeing a sub for him turned you even more on. The wetness between your legs wasn't to ignore anymore, so you rubbed your thighs together. But that wasn't nearly enough. Wanting more, you pushed a hand down your body. Carressing over your already hard nippels, down to Seokjin's boxers. You pushed one hand under them as you gently rubbed your clit. That felt so good.

Your memorys from last night played out once again in your head. The way his big hands felt on your body. The way his big king sized cock pounded into you. Seokjin was so hot with sweat running down his face, growling your name. His words made your head dizzy while his hands overstimulated you. Without noticing it you pushed two fingers in your now wet and needy hole. The fact that you fingered yourself in his boxer just turned you more on. Your clit pulsed, it wanted to be touched so bad. Letting out a sigh and a moan here and there you closed your eyes. Totally lost in your thoughts and pleasure you didn't hear Jinni come out of the bathroom. He walked towards you but stood still the moment he saw what you did. His eyes got wide and he almost moaned at the sight.

Seokjin felt his cock getting hard through his towel, "Fuck.. I'm so lucky..", he said with a deep, raw voice. His gaze lingered on you, just watching you getting yourself off. Slowly he rubbed his hand against the towel, trying to hold himself together. But he wanted more, he wanted you. All of you.

The moment you let out a cute whine was when he lost it. Seokjin walked towards you, grabbed your hand and kissed you deeply. You whined at the lost of touch but happily kissed back as you felt Jin's warm, soft lips on yours. After a bit he pulled away and took your hand to his mouth, just to suck on your fingers. Gosh..

That sight was so attractiv. You rubbed your thighs together while watching him with sinfull eyes. You started to wonder what that tongue of his would feel like between your thighs, on your clit or while thrusting in your hole. A moan left you as you felt Seokjin's other hand rub over your clit, down to your hole and back up. He didn't add much pressure to tease you. One of his finger started to slowly circle your clit while he looked at you with those wide blown eyes. He also wanted you, like you wanted him.

"You're such a naughty girl, you know that love? I saw you earlier~", Jinni said while still playing with your clit. With the next few words he added more pressure to his moves, "Did you want to be seen by me?". His words sounded more like a statement than a question. You whined and couldn't help but spread your legs more apart. Wanting more of his touch, of his dirty words you looked at him with a pout, "Jinni~ I'm so wet for you~ Please help me?~", you whined. Your sudden cuteness made him laugh and shake his head, "How can I say no to such a cute lady?", he smiled as he looked at you. "But..", than Seokjin's sweet smile turned into a evil smirk, "A lady doesn't get herself off on a kitchen chair. Right my princess?", he gently snapped his finger against your clit and stood up. "Take your clothes off and lay on the kitchen table! I'll be there in a few seconds princess~", his voice sounded even deeper than before. With one last glance to you he walked out of the room.

Still sitting on the chair, letting out a deep breath and trying to realise what just happened. Your cute boyfriend Seokjin just turned into one hot dom. His behavior completly changed. You didn't know if it was just you but today he seemed even more of a dom than yesterday. The pluse of your clit brought you back to reality. Without wasting another second you jumped up and took of Seokjin's shirt and boxers. It was something new, it made you excited and turned you on so much. You layed on the table like Jinni told you too, now waiting for him. Lucky you didn't wait any second longer because he just walked back into the kitchen. You looked to him and saw the pair of handcuffs in his hands. 'HE REALLY BOUGHT THEM??', you blushed at looked away again. But before you could look anywhere else Seokjin grabbed your chin and turned your head to him again, "Getting shy now love? I want to try something new today! I'm sure you'll like it!", he leaned in to kiss you once again. While pushing his tongue in your mouth and starting a make out with you, he pulled your arms over your head. Gently caressing over your wrists while moaning into the kiss.

'Click'. After the sound Seokjin pulled away and licked his lips, smirking at you, "After all you want me to help you right?~", he looked at you with this dark shining eyes. You felt your clit pulls once again. 'Fuck- Why is he so hot??', you bit your lip and nodded at his words. His hand caressed over your neck, down to one of your breasts, grabbing one and massaging it. With his thumb he played with your nipple here and there, making you whine. "Do you like this?", jinni whispered against your other breast before licking over your nippel with his tongue. He played with you and you loved it. The way he teased you, made you drip even more. Your legs were shaking, your whines are geting louder with every pull of your nippels. And than Seokjin stopped touching you. He moved away from your body and looked at you, "Answer me love!". You looked up at him and quickly understood why he stopped, "Yes Seokji-", you started but let out a yelp as you felt a pull of your right nipple. "Wrong name love!", he spread your legs while looking at you with this intimidating stare. You knew what he meant but you were to shy to actually call him that. It was one of your kinks, you told him that once. You just weren't expecting him to bring that up one day. With one day you meant now. Closing your eyes, you felt your face heat up, '"Yes D-Dadd-", getting cut off in the middle of your answer, you opened you eyes quickly. "Worldwide Handsome", jinni said while looking at you with a bright grin.

As he saw your flushed, shocked face he couldn't help himself but to laugh. As you realised that he just pulled a joke on you, you started to pout and laugh too, "Yaah! Jinnii..", you whined and looked away. Seokjin chuckled and leaned down to give you a kiss, "Sorry love~ Did I spoil the mood now?", he smiled at you. Shaking your head and kissing him back you answered, "No I'm still wet for you Jinni~".

"Will you let me eat you out than, princess?", he asked with his deeper voice while kneeling down infront of the table you still layed on. Your smile left your face as all your dirty thoughts came back. Spreading your legs open for him you whined,"Please jinni.. my prince~", you added teasingly. Seokjin just smirked up you and leaned forward. First he gently pressed his tongue on your dripping slit, giving you small kitten licks. The way his eyes closed and he just tasted you made your clit pulls even more. "You taste so good my princess~", he whispered against your cunt. The moment after he circled your clit with his tongue, gently sucking on it here and there. With his one finger he played with your entrance before pushing it all the way in. Your moans became louder with every touch he gave you. Also the table just got runied as your dripping juice landed on it, wetting the material. But you couldn't care less as Jinni pushed another finger into you, slowly starting to move them. In and out. Up and down. His tongue played harshly with your clit. Licking, flicking and sucking it. His breath felt so hot on your skin. You wanted to touch him so bad but couldn't. The handcuffs didn't allow you to move very much. But you enjoyed it, you loved it and you wanted to feel more.

"Do you like it when I thrust deep into you?", he asked, looking up to you. His eyes were so dark and full of desire. With one move of his fingers you arched your back of the table and almost screamed. Seokjin smirked. He found it. He found that one spot that let you see stars. "You really liked that huh?", he leaned back down to suck on your already red clit. As he started too hit your hidden spot with every thrust of his fingers you lost it. Screaming and throwing your head back and forth was the only thing you could do.

"Cum", is all he had to whisper and you let go. Your legs felt shaky, your eyes were closed as you tried to catch your breath. Seokjin pulled his fingers out and licked them clean. With his other hand he gently caressed over your stomatch. "Are you okay love?", he asked and leaned down to kiss you deeply. Kissing him back while nodding. You felt how his hands moved up to yours and opened the handcuffs. Jinni took your hands in his and gently caressed them, "Did it hurt?". You looked up at him and smiled, "No Jinni~ You were amazing and I very much enjoyed it!". He kept holding your hands and looked into your eyes. It should feel tense but there was something different now. He had a slight hint of happiness in his eyes.

"When you fell fron heaven to become my sinner?", he winked at you and started to laugh. You couldn't believe he used that line on you. "D-Did you just-", is how you started but ended as you realised he called you a 'sinner'. "DID you just c-call me a SINNER??", pulling your hands away from his, you gasped. Slapping your hand over your mouth, "How could you??". Seokjin just had to look at you and understood the game you were playing. He loved you for it. "What are you than? A nun??", he smirked while looking at your neck, "But a nun shouldn't have those things~", he pointed at your hickeys. "N-No! But I'm an Angel~", you smiled as innocent as possible at him. Jinni started to laugh while shaking his head, "Says the one who discusses our sex life with my group members~". Making you gasp again while grabbing something from behind, "Says the one who uses handcuffs on his girlfriend~", you smirked right back at him. And than both of you started to laugh. Everything was like usually and that was what you loved about your realtionship. It's doesn't always have to be serious. Jinni always made you have fun.

Seokjin hugged you and kissed your cheek, "I love you so much my princess~", he kissed your nose and than your forhead. Enjoying his touch you giggeld, "I love you too my prince~ Very much~", you leaned in and kissed him deeply on the lips. Out of the soft kiss another make out started. Your tongues were all over each other. Without thinking you pushed him down on the table and pulled down his towel. His king sized cock jumped straight up in your hand and pullsed once. You pulled away from the kiss just to look down. A glance of his throbbing hard dick alone made you all horny again. Taking it in your hand and rubbing lazly up and down. Your slow moves got faster after a bit time had passed. Jinnis growls were so hot. Just as you were about to lean down he pushed you gently away, "S-Stop! I want to cum in you~", seokjin said while sitting up.

He stood up and before you could say something he picked you up as you were his bride and walked back to your bedroom. Arms around his neck, face against his sweaty still wet chest. He smelled soo damk good and you felt so damn safe. It was an amazing feeling. But that soon ended as he just dropped you on the bed and almost jumped over you. "Sorry princess, but I can't wait any longer! I can't be gently now.. let me ruin you?~", seokjin growled, spreading your legs and leaving more marks on your neck. His hips started to rub his cock against your  wet slit. You moaned and let your head fall back against the pillow, "Y-Yes please ruin me Daddy~". You did it. You let it all out. Your fantasy finally becoming reality. You looked up at your prince, to see how he reacted. Jinni didn't mind at all. His innocence was long gone and everything you said just made his cock want you more. He couldn't wait to feel your insides,to feel your clench around him. Without a warning he pushed into you. Softly, inch by inch. But his inches were huge. He wasn't even half in yet.

"Are you sure you can take all of Daddy today?", he had stopped for a while. Caressing over your thighs while kissing your stomatch. You just nodded and whined a quiet, "Y-Yes more daddy", since your mind was blank. All you could feel was him. Lucky that was all Jinni needed to continue. He pushed all of him into you, until his hips met your thighs. You felt so full but you loved beeing full. You loved taking all of his huge cock.

Seokjin stayed still and played with your nipples, "Daddy is so proud of you~ You take me so well! Look how amazing we fit together~", he praised you again. The feeling made you tear up. It just felt so good. "M-move please..", you whined while laying your hands around his neck, wanting him closer. But you also just pushed him deeper, which made both of you moan loudly. All of sudden you felt his precum dripping down your thigh. Quickly forgetting about it as you felt a hard, deep thrust, "Look what you did love! Making me lose my mind! I will destroy you~", seokjin moaned against your neck while grabbing your legs. He pulled them over his shoulders as he thrusted into you in a fast pace. Hard, deep and fast wasn't the best thing for you. You screamed, yelled, threw your head from side to the other and even cried tears as you two got lost in the ocean of pure desire. You were such a mess and Seokjin enjoyed that.

"I'm going too-", jinni growled while pounding into you with an incredible speed. "I'm your dom Y/N! My cum in you will be the proof for it!". His dirty words made you fall over the cliff. Your whole body started to shake and you even squirted. Screaming out his name over and over again. Seokjin felt you clenching around him. You would cum any second. As he heard your scream his name it was over for him. With a few quick, fast thrusts he painted your walls white. Breathing hardly he let himself fall on top of you and rolled you over. Now you layed on his chest while he held you close. Jinni caressed over your back while kissing your forhead gently, "You did so well my lovely princess~", his voice was filled with so much love and warmth. You smiled and looked up to him, kissing him with all the strengh you had left. "You also were amazing Worldwide Handsome~", you whispered against his lips with a giggle coming out of your moth. Seokjin just chuckled and grabbed the blanket just to pull it over the both of you, "Let's stay like this for a few more minutes until I'll clean you up okay?", he whispered while kissing your hair. The only thing you could do was nod as a sudden tiredness overcame your body. The last thing you heard, before you fell asleep was Jinnis, 'I love you'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 ~ A few hours later in the evening ~

As you felt the sun shining on your face you slowly opened your eyes. The first thing you felt was Seokjin's breath against your neck, the first thing you saw was the sunset over the city and the first thing that came to your mind was Seokjin's birthday. You two should've been with his other members by now, celebrating his birthday. But instead you were sleeping almost all day. Looking over to your wonderfull, still sleeping boyfriend you couldn't bring yourself to wake him. Jinni looked so happy and calm. You raised one hand to caress through his soft, fluffy hair. The only thing you could at moment was admiring him. You were so damn lucky to have such a boyfriend like Seokjin.

"Love?", you heard his still sleepy sounding voice in your ear. All of sudden you got pushed back into the matress as Jinni got on top of you. Suddenly kissing you with so much passion. Still suprised but so in love, you kissed him back while caressing over his bright shoulders, down his strong back. After another make out he pulled away and smiled at you. The brightest smile you ever saw on Seokjin. "I'm so happy to have you Y/N. You always do so much for me and you're always there for me. Today I had a great day, thanks to you. I actually have everyday a great day because of you. I don't need bought things or special suprises. The only thing I need is you Y/N. You are the best present I ever got!". His words sounded so beautiful, so honest and also so full of love. You could yourself feel getting teary eyed and your heart atched so painful but also so full of happiness. You weren't sure what you felt but it was a rollercoaster of emotions.

You smiled at him and just realised from his look that you must have started to cry. A minute later you could feel a tear running down your cheek. Today morning you were so insecure and frustrated with yourself and now your boyfriend just told you how he feels about you. That you were more then enough for him. That fact alone made you feel so happy.

Hugging jinni while trying to find words you could say to him, "I'm glad jinni! I was scared that I wouldn't be good enough for you since I didn't have any kind of idea for a present. But now I don't think so anymore! I'm just so thankfull to have you by my side~", is what you rambled together. Your tears stopped in the middle of talking but your voice still cracked a bit. Seokjin hugged you tightly while just letting you talk. He caressed through your hair and chuckled as you finished. "We really must be destined to be each others presents. Because I never told you, but there was a time when I had the same thoughts. But not anymore~", he leaned away to look in your eyes, "I truly love you!", he said with a bright smile on his stunning face. "I truly love you too, Kim Seokjin", you said with a happy and honest smile on your face.

"AWWW~ What a beautiful Scene!!", said a voice from the bedroom door, "You're amazing Hyung! No wonder that your realtionship is going on for so long!", another voice. This seems kind of familiar. Jungkook's voice! Your head snapped towards the door and you saw the two younger members, Jimin and Jungkook standing there. Smirks covering there face. You pulled the blanket closer to your body while hiding behind the sheets. "YAH! What are you doing here?? Out! Now!", Seokjin gave you the whole blanket and jumped up to see the boys out. But sadly he forget that he wasn't wearing anything either. "Hyung are you sure you wanna go out like that? The others are here too, you know?", jungkook pointed at Seokjin's body and tried his best not to laugh out loud.  ( I was dying writing this lol ).

"Wow! Did you grew bigger since the last time I saw you?? That is not fair! I want to be king sized too!!", Jimin whined while walking away, but later on you could hear is laugh. 'Such a slytherin..', you thought while trying your best to hold it togther. But the situation was just to funny and embarrassing. "I- What??", Seokjin looked down on himself as he realised that he was still naked after our exciting event earlier on. "Shit! Jungkook out! I'll be there any minute", he stuttered and you could already imagine how red his ears must have become. "Sure sure hyung! I'm happy for you. And nice hickeys Y/N~", the younger flashed you a smirk while walking away, closing the door behind him. That left you two alone again.

Silcence. Now it was quiet. The embarrassment still in the air. 1,2,3..laughter was heard. Seokjin and you both bursted out in tears of laughter while looking at each other. In your head you agreed with Jimin's words. This all was a beautiful scene! And your bound was a beautiful present.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(I hope you enjoyed! ♡ )

[mortifyingideal]

i was tagged in this by the wonderful @fremulon (thanks cherry!) and accidentally deleted the whole thing twice so now i'm mostly just posting it out of spite and without a read more due to said spite. SUCK IT TUMBLR.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 10 published out loud and 1 published anonymously

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

226419

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

okay so this is really only my most recent life. i have been around a lot. a lot. i was there, gandalf, during the superwholock years (and an active participant) so over the course of my life it's like

Harry Potter, Teen Titans, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Inception, Daredevil, The Avengers, The Musketeers, Wells & Wong Mysteries, Twin Peaks, Homestuck, Red vs Blue

but in this lifetime i'm just writing for Good Omens (and have written for DuckTales and Cruella)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1 — Loosely Ballroom (surprising absolutely nobody)

2 — Look Not Too Deep

3 — ergo propter hoc (okay this one is kind of a surprise actually but i'm very happy about it i love this fic)

4 — café au vin

5 — an institute you can't disparage

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i do! i try to respond to every comment i get on the day of/the day after i get it. i've met a lot of good friends this way, and i also just like taking the time to respond to people who've taken the time to respond to something i made. makes me feel good (plus i want everyone to like me)

the only downside is it can get a bit overwhelming at times? particularly with LB, which gets a shitload of comments per chapter and can take me up to two full days to read through them all and answer, and if i'm having a bad brain time i just cannot face doing it. so if you've ever left a comment and i've not responded, i promise It's not because i don't appreciate it. my brain machine just was going brmmmmmmmmm.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i was going to say NONE BECAUSE I DON'T WRITE ANGST but i guess if i had to decide it would be the RVB fic that's on my ao3 right now, which has an angstily hopeful ending.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

hahahaha

CRAZY LIKE A FOX

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not as far as i'm aware! i have had several uhhhhhhh overly familiar meant-to-be-jovial comments on/about the above crossover from people i don't really know very well that have told me i'm a terrible person or i've committed crimes while i'm out here like, cool this is art i made and put in the world for fun and believe in and i don't really... know you? but those comments were meant in good faith imo so i don't really think it counts as hate

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

the last time i tried to write smut, crowley got stabbed, so the kind that sends people to the hospital i guess?

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge. good luck formatting all the images and italics, anyone who might try.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

again, not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

infamously. it's the only reason anyone might have read this far. also attempting to collaborate on an as-of-yet-unfinished-project with @indieninja92 who is a creative genius with their finger in many, many pies. speaking of, have you visited hauntedswords.com recently?

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

errrrrr i mean probably aziraphale/crowley, not to seem obvious. they've been with me since i was like 10 years old, they haven't gone anywhere, they will probably be bothering me until the day i die.

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I WILL FINISH ALL OF MY WIPs. okay no that's not true, i have the start of an inception fic that is a GO AU that i honestly think would have been fucking slammin' but the time for that has passed now.

15. What are your writing strengths?

a very definite sense of character voice, attention to detail in terms of enriching the world i'm writing in, dialogue dialogue dialogue, smash cuts (are they even called smash cuts in writing? WHATEVER THEY ARE I CAN DO THEM)

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

you are my collaborator. you send me back part of a chapter and tell me i have a sentence that is a bit too lengthy and doesn't work, and i need to edit it. i send it back to you. the sentence is now an entire paragraph and a half, with three jokes, a metaphor and a new line of dialogue embedded in it, changing the overall tone of the chapter. this is known as The Mort Special.

i also get very in my own head about not really being a good writer, or not being as good as the people (or person specifically i suppose) that i'm working with. i'm working on this! i'm not working on The Mort Special, though, that's always writing gold.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

this is a really weird and specific question, who hurt you OP? errrr i guess much like any quirk of writing, it's fine when used sparingly and with a deft hand.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

fuck me, probably Harry Potter? neopets roleplaying boards were a gateway drug.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

this is the part where i pretend i'm going to say something other than Loosely Ballroom. i don't think i'll ever make something else in my life that's made me feel the way making that has. it's been—to delve into reality TV speak (and paraphrase crowley from a future chapter)—a real emotional rollercoaster.

plus it's just fuckin' funny isn't it.

tagging @phoenix-soar, @thyra279, @heycaricari, @stillseekwill and @katnoggin (and anyone else who might want to!)

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Full Nest Part Four

The story so far. Hawks has found Reader with a quirk like his except she has pretty blue wings. He takes her in after saving her from a villain that is forcing quirks onto people and selling them. He helps her with the quirk while fighting his instincts at the same time only to realize how important Pretty Blue Bird is.

Niko was a down on his luck quirkless guy working a boring office job with empty promises of promotions and pay raises. He had no wife or children or friends really. He hated the Heroes and not having a quirk, he was different and he did not want to be different. Niko had spotted a flyer on his way home from work one night , it was shaking in the cold wind and had multiple staples in it that read ‘Quirk Testing. ‘Can your body handle one?’ He was curious about it , someone could give out quirks ? He had to check this out , if it worked his life would be so much better.

It worked… but not how he hoped. Niko had no control over his life now. It was not even his life anymore. It was the Gift Givers.

Niko decided to go by Khan now, he liked that name. The Gift Giver seemed to think Niko was completely gone because he was explaining his new orders to him. The quirk had some kind of control feature but all these years of Niko being down on his luck had given him a thick skin and strong consciousness . He played along for a long while with whatever he said thinking nothing of it, easy work honestly. That is.. untill…

“Make his life miserable, take her or the child. Whichever sounds funner.” Was what the Gift Giver told him over and over till Niko was saying it himself. The chance to ruin a Hero's life? He jumped at it. He wanted nothing more and that's when Khan started to take over Nikos mind more and more…

••

You and Keigo were shopping for all kinds of baby clothes and toys along with two matching cribs . Everything you picked out was super cute and everything Keigo picked out was Hero theme. He picked out some onesies that had little wings on them and a big blanket made out of the material of his jacket. You could not be happier with your life right now. Keigo saved you and helped you with your quirk . He really was everything he made himself out to be and you loved him .

The months went on and Khan kept his distance from you and Keigo. He was observing everything, mapping out his home and how far it was from the Agency, how far it was from the hideout, the hospital..

Tokoyami was not so easy to work with during those months. He knew something was up and everything was too quiet and he tried to get Hawks to pay attention but as the months went on he came to the Agency less and less to spend time with you. “I'll get to it, Toko i promise” was what he said to his sidekick.

But he never did . You were having trouble getting around even with the wings and Hawks had to help you as much as he could . He also had to set up the private clinic for the delivery. Everything was fine in his eyes, and life could not be better.

••

Nine months later.

“......keigo.”

“Yes pretty blue bird?”

“I.. my legs are wet..”

Keigo flew over from the kitchen to the couch stopping in front of you. He threw the blanket off you and reached under your dress feeling some water. You looked at eachother and before Keigo could say anything you were already looking scared .

“Sshhh..”

“Keigo .. im .. i…”

He kissed your head and picked you up in his arms. “Its okay. Ill be there the whole time.”

You held him tight whining from the contractions and movement , your wings spazzing out all over his home. Hawks bumped his balcony door open, taking off into the sky to his private clinic. Khan was sitting on the roof of the home waiting, he took off from the ground following.

It was a safe birth for the most part. You called Keigo a couple of bad names and needed a numbing shot in the back but you did it. One boy with purple wings and one girl with purple wings . Twins. Both with curly hairs the same colors as yours with a streak of dusty blond peeking out the front . The boy was born first and then the girl. They were perfect.

The doctor had wrapped the children up in blankets and handed you them before leaving . You could not be happier .. two little chicks and they were perfect..

Hawks was speechless .. for the first time in his life he had nothing to say. He was a father now , that was the only thing running through his head now.

“Keigo..”

“Pretty blue bird..”

“ will you sit with me.”

Keigo gently got on the bed with you and you handed him to two bundles of blankets so you could snuggle up with him . You were exhausted and as much as you wanted to be awake for this moment you could not keep your eyes open. It made Keigo chuckle , he kissed your head giving you the okay to take a nap.

A few hours later.

Keigo was walking around the room holding his chicks and making little coo noises at them laughing at their reactions. His son had one gold brown eye , the left one. The right one was the same color as yours. His daughter had the same eyes as you . You were just waking up but still feeling pretty out of it , it still hurt to move .

“Do you have names..?” You asked him , trying to sit up in the bed.

Keigo went over to help you and kissed your head . “Hiro and Hera .” He told you.

“Thats lovely..” you leaned on him to look at your chicks , they looked happy to see you. “Keigo, I love you. I love our chicks.”

“And i love you pretty blue bird, and our chicks as well.”

“Isn't that lovely?”

“Ow!!! KEIGO!!!”

Hawks got up off the bed handing you the children to see you reaching down to hold your leg , it had four bites in it and was bleeding. The air looked like it was moving and Khan made himself visible standing up , tail swaying slowly , his tongue was flicking around. Keigo pulled a feather sword over his shoulder but stopped when you cried out again. He looked over and his heart sank, you were suffocating , trying hard to suck in air.

“What did you do!!!” Hawks yelled flying over the bed . By now the children were crying and you were coughing.

“I poisioned her. “ he told you without batting a eye.

Keigo grabbed Khan holding the sword to his neck. “Fix.. it..”

“Kill me. And she dies. Hows it feel to have no power? Hero? The antidote is in my saliva , if i dont lick those marks shes gonna die. And i dont really feel like it. But i do feel like making a deal.”

“Ke.. i…”

He looked back fast at you and then back at Khan. He lowered his sword stepping back. “What do you want.”

“The son.”

“No.. S-something else! “ Hawks was panicking . This.. this is what Tokoyami ment…..”TAKE ME!!!”

“I want the son. The first born. Your pride and joy.” His tail swayed faster as he watched you fade in and out. Keigo looked over and dropped his sword to cup your cheeks . He had tears in his eyes and couldn't form words. You were heaving trying to say something but he could not make it out.

“Pretty… blue.. bird…”

“You've got 2 minutes. Hero.”

Keigo pressed his forehead to yours and cried with you as he spoke. “Take him….”

You felt a sting in your leg and your breathing returned just like that. You tried to look down but Hawks held you to his chest so you couldn't . You fought him crying and screaming. Your wings went nuts cutting him up . Hawks had used his feathers to shield Hera from yours and just kept apologizing… over.. and over… and over...

••

Chapter One

Chapter Two

@marydragneell @loxbbg @toribug2020 @scarlette-wolf918

[cassiedangerclouds]

Everything Is Green {Krii7y}

DeviantArt: SugarHigh100 (Smii7y)

Twitter: Beaudicea (Kryoz)

~

Trigger Warning!: In this story, I will write about colour blindness. Sorry if I do not get it correct as I myself do not suffer from anything of the sort (I am mildly longsighted). If this may offend you, please don't read. And I would really love to hear from some colour blind people on how I can fix my perception of it up in case I write this type of thing again.

Remember that this is MY interpretation of colour blindness (Protanomaly and Tritanopia), this is how I understood what I read from my research. So please don't take it personally if I get it completely wrong.

In this story, there will also be:

Anxiety Attacks –Based off of the ones I get. Because everyone experiences these differently-

Bullying (mentioned)

Swearing

Self-Deprecating Tendencies

~

Life gets pretty boring when all you see if various shades of green, grey and if you're lucky, violet.

But not the pretty, dark violet everyone else sees. No, it's a dull, kind of light version.

That's just life when your parents are Red-Green and Blue-Yellow colour blind and you pull the short straw on both ends.

No, I couldn't just have one; like not perceiving reds or greens properly. Or maybe become a very rare case and not be able to see blues properly.

No.

I ended up Red-Green in one eye and Blue-Yellow in the other.

So my world is full of dull, warped greens, boring and monotonous blacks and whites, only light grey and maybe, if luck wants to grace me, with violet. I strive for the moments that slightly purply-blue colour pops, I try to capture every detail of the moment so that I can try recreate it.

My parents try to tell me that when I'm older, my eyes may get better.

But I know that they won't.

Magic doesn't exist. If you're born with these things, you live with them forever.

People get weirded out by me. I confuse them. So I learnt to keep to myself. I sit under the trees, on the grass, things that should be blindingly green and are but just a dull blue really.

I got told that my glasses would help me see colours properly, but the kids all picked on me, so I don't wear them anymore.

The glasses were pretty cool I guess, I mean they were blue and red, and the world looked amazing back in fifth grade for the month that I wore them.

It's been five years since I've worn them though, I figured that, if I was picked on in fifth grade, high school would be no saving grace. So they sit in draw at home, collecting dust.

I guess life isn't too bad, I mean, at least I'm not blind. But this is no better.

"Hey. Hey. Can you hear me?" I kept my head down, knowing exactly who it was.

"I asked you a question."

I looked up, not too much, just enough to see if it was who I thought it was, "Yeah. I guess. I'm not deaf." I said, tapping my fingers against the ground.

"I'm not here to pick on you kid. I'm not an arsehole. My friends and I saw you sitting by yourself and I wanted to know if you wanted some company."

This time he caught my full attention, "Like for real? This isn't some big joke that Evan and all that set up to give me hope?" I asked.

He laughed, "Nah dude, honestly, Evan and his friends are a little overrated." He said, "With the exception of like Ryan. Oh and Craig, he hangs out with us sometimes."

I smiled, "I mean, sure. I guess that I could come and sit with you guys." I said.

"Sick." He said, helping me up.

He led me over to a table, not far from where I was sitting, I noticed him stumbling a little.

"Hey fuckers. I'm back." He announced.

"No one gives a fuck John." One of the other males at the table replied, looking up from his phone.

"Fuck you to, bitch." John replied.

"So guys, this is...uh I never asked your name, did I?" John asked.

"Good goin' John. You see a lonely kid, invite him over, but don't even ask his name." another said, this one was for sure in grey.

I snickered a little, looking over the group, of course, looking at everyone wasn't going to help me tell them apart, but it was worth a shot.

"HEY! That sounded a lot better in my head." The grey one stated.

"So, what's your name stranger?" one of the guys closest to me asked.

Come on, just say Jaren. "Lukas." I answer. What the fuck did I say that for?

"Well Lukas. As you could figure out, I'm John. In order around the table from my left. Cameron, Ryan, Craig, Anthony and...where did Crystal go?" John asked for a person I guess was here before he came over to me.

Crazy hair, grey guy, glasses, panda case. I recited in my head, it was the only way I'd actually remember them.

"Brock's nut of a sister came over and requested that her friend join her for a conversation." Anthony, I think, answered.

I frowned, "Cassidy isn't too crazy." I stated, causing everyone to stare at me.

"What. She used to be my..." I trailed off, "Never mind. Why did you invite me over here. I'm just the weird kid."

"We're all weird here." Cameron said, completely ignoring my slip up or at least I hope he did.

"I mean. Probably not. At least compared to me. Nobody is as mutant as I am."  I stated, looking down.

"What. Why? Because your eyes are different a little off centre or your hair is white? Every time I saw you, I always thought you just bleached it, like John does with his." Craig said with a shrug.

I sighed, shaking my head, "Okay. Don't like freak or anything okay John. But like, that jumper you're wearing is probably rad. But it's like literally all green, different shades. But to me. That whole thing is green, except the white bits near your wrists." I always found it was an easy way to explain my problem to people by talking about something that probably wasn't green and trying to tell them that's how I see it. "I can imagine and sort of figure out the colours, because I've done it for so long-"

"What shades of green?" John asked.

I shrugged, "The top is like a lime kind of colour. So it's probably like yellow or somet'in'. Uh, the middle is a dull green. So that's like red or orange, I don't remember because I don't see those colours a lot. The top of the sleeves is like, mint ice cream green. So they're some type of blue." I explained, hoping I got the colours close.

"That's so cool dude." John said.

"How do you live like that? Not being able to see colours. Only green?" Craig asked.

"Well. I mainly see the green spectrum, but I can see light grey, black, white and sometimes, violet. But it's like not the cool dark violet colour, it's more like what I think you would see as a cross between magenta maybe and periwinkle. I can see some shades of yellow, kind of. Most colours appear as greens though." I explained, tapping my fingers against my leg.

"Well, sit down you weird ass human." Cameron said.

I smiled, shaking my head, "Sorry. This was a nice..experience, but I'm just gonna leave." I said, turning around, I walked back towards where I was.

Suddenly I was on the ground, noticeably colder than before.

I looked up and saw my jumper in John's hands.

"Hey, fuck you. Give me my jumper back, it's cold." I demanded, getting off my arse, snatching my jumper out of his hands, slipping it over my head.

"It's a mild fifteen degrees, it's not that cold." Cameron stated.

"Shut up, you Kiwi fuck. We get it that it's fucking freezing in New Zealand." A feminine voice said from behind me.

Cameron pouted, "Piss off you Aussie bitch." He stated.

"Oh, and this is Crystal. Crystal, this is –"

"Hey Luke." Crystal said with a shrug.

"Vibe." I returned, watching as they walked over and sat between Cameron and Ryan.

"Wait- you two know each oth-"

"Whatever, reunions are boring. What did the nut want with you, aye?" Cameron asked, nudging Crystal's shoulder.

Crystal shrugged, "Never say that again. Worst Australian accent ever. Come on Fitzy, you're the closest one to where I'm from and you can't even fake a believable accent." They said.

The group started to banter, giving me the perfect chance to slip away.

I kept walking, not really knowing where I was going, I just knew I had to get away from that group before something bad happened to them because of me.

"Hey. Hey! Lukas, wait up." I heard a call from behind me, recognising John's voice, I picked up my pace, not watching where I was going.

Once more I was on the ground and I noticed that it was because I had bumped into someone. I stood up, "I'm so sorry. I-" my breath hitched.

In front of me stood well known school menace and Evan's right hand man Jonathan.

"I-I'm so so sorry. Uh, Delirious." I said, I could feel myself shaking.

Delirious turned to face me, and I could feel my lungs get heavy.

"Dude. Are you okay?" he asked me, sending me into surprise.

"What?" I managed to squeak out.

"I asked if you were okay? You hit me pretty hard and fell to the floor." Delirious said.

I shrugged, "I'm uh. Fine. Just yeah. Sorry." I stammered, my breathing starting to even out.

"Lukas, why are you-" I heard John stop dead, his boots squeaking as he skidded on the hallway floor. "Fuck."

"Well, if you're okay. Then I'm just gonna walk away." Delirious said, walking away.

I was still shaking, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.

"Dude, are you okay?" I heard John was near me now.

But I still didn't open my eyes, I shakily pointed at my bag, "Pap- Pap- Bag" I started coughing.

"Pap Bag. Pap. Paper Bag! Oh, get the paper out of your bag!" John figured out, quickly flipping the latch on my bag and handing me the almost empty bag.

"I don't understand how this will help you." John said.

I cupped my hand around the opening, placing it near my mouth, breathing in and out into the bag.

My breathing went back to normal after five minutes and the coughing stopped.

I moved it away and drew in a deep breath.

"What the fuck was that?" John asked, making me painfully aware that he was still there.

I opened my eyes to see him standing in front of me, "That was an anxiety attack you fucking idiot. Holy shit. I could've-no-probably would've passed out if you hadn't have helped me. Jesus, I haven't had one that bad in a while." I stated, half talking to myself.

"Your welcome. I mean, I don't know how to respond." John said.

I smiled, "Thank you. But seriously. I thought that Jonathan was a bully. He didn't even threaten me. I think a lot of people just spread rumours and one rumour made it out and became popular saying that the BBS are bullies. They're probably just a bunch of misunderstood kids. I- I'm sorry for walking off." I said.

"Nah dude. My friends can be a little much sometimes, even for me." He said.

"Oh. Okay. Well, I'm still sorry. It was a good thing you did you know, asking me to join you guys. Your friends don't seem to bad. I'd probably fit in with you all. I feel like a big dou-"

I felt something warm against my lips for a split second and then it was gone.

"You talk too much." John stated.

My face started heating up, "What the fuck? We haven't even known each other for a day. John you're fucking weird," I stated, pulling my sleeve over my hand, wiping my mouth.

He laughed, "You enjoyed it. Don't deny it." He said.

Maybe I did. It doesn't matter, I don't even know the guy. "No I didn't." I retorted, but I knew my body language said otherwise.

"You're a bad lyre Lukas. You're red as a firetruck." He teased.

"Shut up you fucking prick." I muttered.

He rolled his eyes, "Come on. Come and hang out with me and my band of Misfits." He said.

I sighed, "Fine." I said and we walked back towards his friends, maybe a bit closer than previously.

But seriously, who the fuck kisses someone they just met? Like what even is that?

"Someone who has a set." John replied.

"Fuck. I said that out loud. Sorry." I said.

He stopped and turned to face me, "Stop fucking apologising. You've done nothing wrong." He said.

And that's when I noticed one small thing, well not really small thing, but it was something that would this was a moment I'd never forget.

~

Everything is green.

But his hair is my favourite colour.

Because it is violet.

~

Authors Note:

Hi guys!

Yes, I am a weirdo. I would've made it John's eyes, except that in this case it wouldn't work because John's eyes are blue and for them to be violet, they'd have to be yellow. Which just isn't realistic.

Anyway, that's it.

[j-wonwootrash]

stay over (51) and take mine (56) with joshua? im just really deep in josh feela and there isn't many fics about my poor actor boy.

51. “stay over.”

56. “take mine.”

genre: fluff

prompt title: interested

a/n: i tried to make it fluffy T^T i hope it fits your liking! enjoy reading.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You quickly pressed digits on your phone where the wind brushed through every strand of your hair. The weather forecast was not accurate at all in the past few days and you swore your roommate had reminded you about bringing an umbrella earlier in the day. How could you forget? Sure the semester was really hectic so the time to prepare for yourself was minimal.

Under your breath you cursed as your hands looked for the item by heavens you hope it was there. But it wasn’t. The sheer and thin clothes you wore was getting damped and really, with the wind and rain dancing together wasn’t good news at all. You stood by the nearest shed where the local convenience store closed down of renovation. 

“How can I get home?” you looked at the grey sky when a car passed by, making you more damped than you were already were. “Agh-!”

An arm enveloped you to their body. They began to walk when a gentle but husky voice spoke. So familiar you already knew who they were. “It’s pouring hard isn’t it, y/n?” Joshua looked down at you, a smile plastered on his face. His umbrella was only enough for one, but his actions made it somehow possible for two.

“Josh..” you sneezed at the coldness the wind gave. “You-”

“Oh y/n don’t pass out now!” he held you on the waist. Your mind was in and out of consciousness as he spoke. “My apartment is just by the block. A few more steps then we’re there!”

He supported you by the waist as he kicked the door open, throwing the umbrella on the floor. You felt your body lifted as Joshua brought you to his living area, putting you down onto the sofa before quickly grabbing towels.

Joshua was someone who was part of the school rock band, doing sub-vocals and lead guitar. Maybe soloist if time had permitted. You didn’t really know him well, but through his actions, he wasn’t all bad as you heard in the rumours when you transferred. People assumed him to be a snob, full of himself and spoiled as he was the only child. But what you saw now was the complete opposite. Not like you believed in the rumours in the first place anyway.

Feeling a little warmer, you waited for him. You looked around his apartment. Neat, like he was brought up well by his parents. The three guitars hung and displayed on the walls, as if they were treasures he collected. A room with the door half opened was his studio, a small one, enough space for at least two people to move about.

“I got the towels y/n!” he called from the living area. “Where did you go?”

You rushed back to where he was, his hair damped. And boy he was already in his home clothes; a white tee and grey sweatpants. It was something you found cute. “Sorry I looked around..” you chuckled.

Joshua waved his hands and nodded at the same time. “No no no. It’s fine, really.”

“Alright. Thanks for help-” the lights had flickered from the thunderstorm until the electricity went off. He grabbed your arms and pulled you for a hug. “J-Joshua?”

Within seconds the lights came back on, and his hands caressed your head. He became embarrassed when you coughed, realising what he had done. “Oh sorry, I thought you’ll be scared.”

“How you worry is really cute, but this girl right here not always a damsel in distress. The help earlier was fine, but this is kinda going too far.” you laughed as you pointed to yourself.

Joshua pouted at your statement, later laughing at his actions. “Ah yeah, I might’ve went too far.”

“Too far has its limits.” you grabbed the towel from his hands and dried your hair.

“I’ll make you some chocolate!” he rushed to the kitchen.

“Aw that’s sweet Joshua. But I’ll be fine since I’m about to head out.” you slung your bag to your shoulders.

“Stay over.” his low voice caught you off the tracks when you walked to his door.

Your heart beat doubled, definitely not expecting him to say that. You peeked at counter when Joshua handed you a cup of chocolate. “I can’t let you out in the rain, now that I know you easily get sick.” he slurped onto the cup. “Just one night.”

A stare from you made Joshua clear his throat. “I- I don’t mean any harm or intention, y/n.”

Maybe accepting his offer would be a chance to know him better. And to be honest you did have an interest on him. You wouldn’t say crush, yet you knew it was getting there. “Okay, I’ll stay for the night. There’s no signs of the rain stopping.”

Joshua’s face enlightened slightly when you put down your bag and sat on the sofa. He left to head to his room before coming back with fresh clothes. “Take mine.”

“Oh Joshua I can’t take th-” the fabric on your fingertips only made you tense a little.

“Please do, it’s the only thing I could give you. I outgrew them so..” he scratched his head in embarrassment.

You chuckled at his reaction. “Bet you haven’t worn this in years.”

“Yeah I haven’t.” he looked away. “I’ll prepare dinner, so get dressed.”

You followed what he said and headed to the toilet. Ten minutes since arriving his place, you figured he lived alone, given the fact that there were no extra rooms besides his. As you wore his sweater, your phone buzzed with messages from your roommate, Yein.

[19:29] yein: y/n, where are you?? ;o

[19:29] y/n: i’m at josh’s place. i got caught in the rain. :/ he told me to stay the night.

[19:30] yein: !! if his band’s fans knew that, you’d be dead by morning.

[19:30] y/n: please don’t exaggerate and tell me you’re joking ;-;

[19:30] yein: i’m not! it’s just that josh’s fans are more aggressive. they show up at his apartment almost everyday. imagine if they see you tomorrow…?

[19:31] y/n: i’ll be fine. just gonna have to find an excuse. i’ll tell josh.

[19:32] yein: yea good luck with that. see u!

You got out of the toilet when Joshua hadn’t touched the meal he cooked. “Hey, you didn’t have to wait for me.”

“I won’t be a gentleman if I didn’t wait.” he smiled, gesturing you to join him. “I made carbonara.”

“I’ve been craving!” you felt giddy at the taste of the dish. “Oh uhm, my friend told me that your fans show up here every morning?”

“Tell me about it, it’s always at 8 a.m” he rubbed his temples. “Can you help me?”

“I think I know where you’re going.” you took another bite. “You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend?”

He blushed at what you had said. “Y-yeah. But it’s like almost everyday, wouldn’t it be a hassle for you?”

“If it’s to help you out, I don’t mind.” you smiled at the guy.

Joshua raised his brows in shock, a smirk slowly crept in. “Really?” he paused. “Then.. Do you mind if it’s permanent?”

What? Did he mean..

“That’s right. I’m asking you out.” he took a bite from his, still a smirk seen on him.

Hm? It was like he read your mind.

You were left speechless as your lips agape. Joshua laughed at your response. “I’m not kidding y/n. I took a liking of you. I’d like to know you more as we do the ‘act’.”

Well who were you to refuse? You were interested in him, too.

[moonraccoon-exe]

Haha, it is a neat reminder, isn't it? I bake a little bit of everything but around the holidays cookies, cupcakes, and pies are my specialty. c: I do like making muffins too! I plan to spend time relaxing and visiting with friends and family this year, so I'm really looking forward to it! Do you have family holiday traditions too? And I am playing through 1 on the PS3, it's so charming and very Ghibli! I love the characters and the world so far. If you get the chance I think you'd like it! -F/I

IRIDAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ♡♡♡

*GLOMPS AND STAYS HUGGED TO YOUR HEAD*

*SNUGGLES YOU*

FLOUR MY SWEETEST CUPCAKE, COLORFUL FLOWER OF BEAUTY, YOU WONDERFUL LITTLE WARM MUFFIN WHO SMELLS LIKE SUMMER, HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL YOU!!!!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

Sorry it took me a while to answer to you! It’s been a nuts week, aaah! Past one was sorta messy, too, but this one, pfft. GODDAMMIT, I just want a minute at the computer!! But here I am, finally being able to write to you back as you deserve

Lemme add a keep reading here, you, Iridae, you, cupcake of LOVE! (ﾉ´ з `)ノ

You bake a little bit of everything!! THAT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOL AND SO AWESOME!! Omg, open a bakery and and and, and I could be the raccoonie that sits on top of the door outside or on the flower pots or at the front desk of the bakery and YOU FEED ME EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES WITH A YUMMY SNACK, THAT SOUNDS LIEK A DREAM JOB TO ME IF YOU ASK ME!! ( ˙꒳​˙ )

But seriously, a bit of everything! That’s SO COOL! I’ve always wanted to learn to bake because it looks so cute/romantic (as in romantized, like a soft and happy activity) in things like Ghibli (HAH! Speaking of which!) movies, but I can’t use the oven home ;^; I’m happy that you did get to learn and that you sometimes get around baking, though!! It sounds like you must have fun! :D

Cookies, cupcakes, and pies….? Aaah…~ Oh my gawd, Iridae, that sonds like absolute HEAVEN ( ´ ▽ ` ) I can imagine the cookies, so warmy and roundish and yummy, and cupcakes so spongey fluffy and soft, and those wonderful pies…alksjdkaldjgdaklgjadklajdlkad LAKSJD KLDGJ AKLSDJASLKGJDA AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, oh no, now I’m so hungry for some of that!! o(>ω

Flour, I think it’s SUPER AWESOME that you bake! Such a cute activity that takes some skill, that’s awesome. Hope you continue enjoying of your baking time! :3

Aaah, time relaxing and visiting friends and family sounds like a delight ( ´ ▽ ` ) I wish you the greatest of lucks out there, Iridae! May you see a lot of your dearest ones, and maybe also people you haven’t seen in a while and would love to. I hope that you get to visit everyone you want to see! Imma be cheering on you, that’s a very beautiful plan for the holidays ٩(◕‿◕)۶

Ohh, do I have family holiday traditions too? Hm, that’s a good question! Not really traditions. Years ago, the family from my dad’s side used to gather together for Christmas, but there wasn’t really a tradition. Been years since the last gathering, too, and I don’t think we’re reuniting again… (。。 )ゝ

We still gather with mommy’s side on New Year, though…it’s horrible :’D Everyone hates everyone, there’s this one particular family that are rude, crude, judging, everything you can think about evil, they are, and they’re the sort to think that you’re not having fun unless you’re so drunk you don’t remember your own name and blast music (bad music. Like. The ugliest) until your ears bleed which is…no. I mean, I love music, but such volumes are literally damaging, so thanks no. I’m trying to look up subtle ear protection for real, ahahah!! Don’t want to get to my 40′s already deaf, and what’s worst, out of horrible music so ;w;

But yeh. I think there’s no traditions over here, but that’s okay.

I’m SO happy that you do have your family traditions, though!! You guys must have fun, and of course it’s always beautiful and happy to see family you don’t see everyday and gather around and have yummy snacks! (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b

YOU’RE PLAYING THROUGH NI NO KUNI 1!!!!! I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JEALOUS AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

I couldn’t have described it better than you did! Charming and very Ghibli. AH, man, I SO wish I could play that game too! I don’t have the console, sadly, and I’m not sure I’m up to buying a whole PS3 just for Ni No Kuni, ahaha ;w, They released FFXIII for Xbox One, so I assume sooner or later it’ll be available for PS4, hence, less chances of me getting a PS3. But we’ll see! Ni No Kuni feels like a Must for me, it’s, as you said, so charming and so Ghibli, I CAN’T MISS IT! AKLSJDFDLAKGJ AKLDGJA

I’m so, so, SO HAPPY that you’re enjoying of it! Aah, all the charming and adorable characters, the vast and happy world, all the creative spells, the animations, the story itself… AKLSJDFKLADGJ ALKFJADKLGDAJ, I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE GETTING TO PLAY THAT, FLOUR, IT MUST BE WONDERFUL AND SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO FULL OF AMAZING THINGS, AAAAAAAAAHHH!!! (/▽＼*)｡o○♡

My little maccoonie heart is so full just at the idea of you getting to play it. Do enjoy every last bit of it, and travel all around and help all those kitten people and HAVE SO MUCH FUN, FLOUR!! ♡ ～('▽^人)

DEAR IRIDAE

As ALWAYS, it’s an ABSOLUTE delight to hear from you and get to talk with you

*GLOMPS AGAIN*

Seriously, thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to write to me. Thank you for being as sweet and lighthearted as usual. Thank you for sharing with me what you’ve been up to!! Thank you for the time you dedicate to this tiny ball of fur

Dear Flour, I’m still SO HYPED about the idea of Ni No Kuni, I could go on for pages but wouldn’t know what to say ahahah

Thank you again for EVERYTHING! Do receive tight and warm raccoonie hugs. I hope you’re having a most BEAUTIFUL day or night, my friend!! (ɔˆ⌣(ˆ⌣ˆc)♡

[coe-lilium]

Why don't you enjoy more darker and more messy stories? I mean your a Fate/TM fan and a lot of TM's stuff is like that isn't it? I mean Nasu and Takeuchi's Influenced by Eva, Persona 2, Trigun, Demon City, Demon Soul and Toward the Terra. So shouldn't we kind of expect this? Also what about grey morality? Some TM stuff is very much that. I mean Nasu seem to enjoy unintentional evil created by good. Also what made LB1 not as enjoyable? I'm mainly asking cause that was my favorite LB so far.

Sigh. 

To make a long story short, I’ll redirect you to this post to answer why I don’t like Cosmos. 

In fact, I can take some form of dark stories quite fine (as long as they end well and push a hopeful vision of the world), even if they aren’t and have never been my main cup of tea, but I have limits that should not be crossed if an author wants me to enjoy a storyline. Multiple genocides enacted by the protagonist (who’s been pushed as SI with the player) cross these limits of mine by thousands miles. I feel enough guilt for stupid IRL decisions to last me a decade, I’d rather not also be guilt tripped by a mobile game of all things.

And to repeat what I already wrote in the answer I linked... is it really surprising for a person to stand/enjoy some kinds of “dark” in fiction and at the same time want nothing to do with other ones? Is it surprising that a plot as monstrous as “you have to exterminate 7 worlds full of innocent people” may be... not stomachable for some people? 

And for the “shouldn’t we expect this”, no, no and no again. There’s oceans between this and all the previous Nasuverse darkness, or I wouldn’t have sticked along for 10 years, trust me.

Grey morality is another thing that’s really not my cup of tea, so bad luck here. Especially if applied to the protagonists (not for nothing I hate Kiritsugu). I like it in anti heroes/villains, but they’ve got to be villains. I think I like a lot of nasuverse villains, either unintentional evil or unredeemable bastards. 

And I did like LB1 the best? The end almost sent me into a light-depressive episode (not fun, lemme tell you) but other than this -admittedly glaring- IRL problem I really liked it. Maybe you meant LB2?   

Now, let me end this long-ass post with a plea: at this point I’ve received a “but why are you bothered by this” ask every-single-time a Lostbelt dropped.

 I’ve now explained it two times, I have no intention of getting into more personal and private reasons on a blog, I don’t owe strangers a explanation for my tastes in fiction and I would very, very much like not to be questioned again on the subject for it brings to memory a lot of bad stuff.  

Excited asks with infos on a new chapter or characters? Maybe wait a couple of days, but fire away. Theories on future plots? Fair game. I can’t promise I won’t eventually get snippy but I’ll do my best. 

But at this point I’d rather receive hate “why do you ship abusive ships, you *insult*”* than another “why don’t you like Cosmos/dark stories” I’m not kidding. 

Please just... stop. 

*oh, just in case: try do that and I’ll either answer and you’ll wish you’d never sent it or I’ll block you on the spot.   

[lefthanded-sans]

Heya! You're a linguist, right? Any advice for someone who would love to get into English linguistics with a burning passion, but don't see that as being possible owing to the fact that they're a foreigner/not a native speaker and are afraid they might not get any work because of it other than translation (and I'm guessing the pay isn't that great anyway)? Or just, what's it like being a linguist?

Heyaaaa! Great to chat with you again! Sorry for being so slow responding to you, and I hope this answer helps!

I’ll go through all of these questions, because why not? I want to help as much as I can, and I’m always willing to help and talk more. I’ll also be backtracking and talking some basics of what it means to be a linguist, just so that other people who read this can follow along with the discussion. 

What it’s like being a linguist!

Unlike what many people might suspect, linguistics isn’t a field about speaking a ton of languages. While many linguists speak more than one tongue fluently, that’s because we love language, not because that’s the heart of our profession. Linguistics is the scientific study of language, and it covers everything from how we anatomically pronounce words, to the physical acoustic properties of language, to how words and sentences are structured, to how we humans socially respond to language, and more. It means there are a ton of subfields in linguistics, and that linguistics can often get interdisciplinary.

My primary subfield all throughout my undergraduate and graduate work was phonetics, which is the study of language at its smallest sound units. I studied the acoustic properties of sounds, how the vocal tract biologically was made up and moved to create these sounds, the acoustic makeup of all the tiny sound units in a language (often represented as letters in languages) - aka phonemes, how the presence of one sound unit can alter how another is pronounced, things like phrasal tone where your voice pitch varies throughout a sentence, and more.

While I love phonetics, the truth is that the high majority of my career work hasn’t been in phonetics. Almost all of my work has been in the semantic-syntactic interface - where the meaning of sentences interacts with how sentences are structured. In a given day of work, I’ll receive hoards of written sentences online from a computer database. My overseers will tell me how they want me to analyze and organize the data, usually through some sort of annotation scheme where I make notes on top of the sentences. I analyze how meaning is embedded through the structure of the sentences according to that annotation scheme, then send the data back to be processed by computers. That’s because most of my work has to do with machine learning. For computers to get better at understanding sentences, we feed data with annotations to them to help them understand how to parse sentences. Then, they can make future better “comprehension” choices on their own with new sentences they receive. This has a variety of applications, including improving online search functions or making virtual assistants like Siri and Amazon Echo understand you better.

There is a somewhat fair though not unending amount of work to be found in this area, if you know where to look.

Now, I’m going to be transparent about the financial situation and work stability situation of my jobs. That way, you can decide whether or not it’s something you want to gamble yourself. And it is a little gamble because I’m not living a full-time, steady, long-term job. Currently, I work as a contract consultant, annotator, and adjudicator. Sometimes clients will hire me to look at their data for one month, three months, or in the luckiest cases, a year. This means I am constantly looking for new work, I don’t have any health, etc. benefits because I’m part-time (this is of course an issue for my country, not internationally), and I often am doing one to four contracts simulntaneously. There’s also something to be said that, even when I’m hired for a position, data comes in SPURTS - sometimes there are weeks where I’m twiddling my thumbs doing nothing, and other weeks where I am overloaded with tight deadlines and have to work around the clock. 

In all of my positions, I’m working temporarily with clients in part-time temporary jobs. It’s remote work where I can choose the hours of the day I work, chill in my pajamas at home, all sorts of great stuff. I communicate with my coworkers or superiors almost entirely through email and online chat, with the RARE Skype call or face-to-face meeting.I tend to get my contracts through a company called Appen or by connecting with old peers from my university days (I still work for my university’s cognitive science research department, in fact). I started doing annotations part-time when I was an undergraduate sophomore in 2012 and was paid about $11 an hour. Now, I make about $18-20 per hour for my contract positions. Specifically, I have slowly bargained up my pay from about $12 to $20 in the last year. So I’m getting increasingly paid higher with each new gig. I don’t know how much higher I can increasingly climb, but it’s not bad pay when I get enough hours (and hours is where it’s hardest to win).

Other linguists will have different types of jobs than me. There is a ton of work - and good stable work! - in the computational linguistics field if you’re interesting in programming and working with the computer side of studying language. That’s the safest gamble. Other linguists will contact indigenous people groups to study endangered languages, and spend their days either out in the field recording speech with tape recorders, or studying the language closely in their office. Others will get their TOEFL certificates and teach English to non-native speakers. Lots of different things that might come up. Again, if you know where to look, and if you’re creative enough to know how to apply your degree to different things.

You’re right that translation is one of the areas you see the most job openings for. Depending on all the languages you know, it’ll be easier or harder to break into. I’ve never looked into translation. I doubt I’d get hired, first of all; I live in a an area which has a high percentage of bilingual Spanish speakers, so everyone’s going to hire the people who speak both Spanish and English fluently and natively (as versus me, who grew up in a monolingual household and started to learn Spanish at thirteen years old). Lots of translation jobs even specify that they want you to be a NATIVE speaker of the language you’re translating, which means that someone like me who came from a monolingual household is 100% out of luck. The other reason why I don’t do translation is because, while there are some translation jobs that pay okay, lots of them don’t, and lots of them in my country/state aren’t full-time. I’ve seen a number of translation positions that pay you by the number of words or pages you translate, and the pay isn’t that pretty when you add it up. 

That’s not true for all translation jobs, though, especially if you happen to speak high demand but less commonly spoken languages for your region (in my area, something like Arabic or Bangladeshi could get you a pretty penny). ASL (American Sign Language) translator jobs in my country are always nice gigs. And people who speak English as a second language and something else “uncommon” as their first language have a pretty good shot of being hired for something.

But I know translation isn’t what you’re interested in. Which is fair.

Now, as far as breaking into English linguistics as a non-native speaker, you’re right that you’ll probably run into obstacles, but they’re not imposssssssible to get around. Especially if your verbal speech is anything like the writing you do for English, you’re almost certainly FINE. This following discussion is more specifically for the academic community of linguistics, but what I would do whenever I wanted to study a language I didn’t speak… was get an academic partner who did. And in many types of studies you do, depending on your linguistics subfield, you won’t even need to worry about that. Honestly the biggest challenge isn’t whether English is your first language or not, because linguists get their fingers over any language whenever and wherever they can… the biggest challenge is that English has been very thoroughly studied academically in linguistics compared to many other languages. VERY thoroughly studied. Whereas I had an easier time finding unstudied topics in languages like Khmer, I’d be harder pressed to find easy research areas in languages like Mandarin or Spanish. Buuuuuuuuut there are still many, many Unknowns I have come across in English linguistics - for instance, lots and lots and lots that needs to be done in the sociolinguistic arena. Most of my doctorate peers wrote their second year papers on English. Granted, that was a sample size of five people, but nevertheless. There are still things to be said about the language academically, if you know where and how to look.

Whether or not this’ll be a big hindrance to you depends on more choices than “I want to study English linguistics.” It reaaaaaally depends what subfield you want to get into, whether you go into graduate school, whether you want to enter lingusitics academia or something else, and where you live and how accessible/fluent English is to your overall populace. In some fields more than others, you may find barriers. So be careful, but don’t rule out opportunities completely. I’ll point out I’ve seen native speakers of Arabic, Russian, Spanish, Japanese, Polish, and Mandarin professionally study English… so it’s certainly something that’s not uncommon or impossible!

[the-faculty]

I've never been in a d/s dynamic/relationship but I'm desperate to try and explore this world. My partner isn't interested in it and it's something that I've been craving more and more. I'm been encouraging him to try new things but he just isn't willing. Now the idea of an online dom has popped into my head (and from seeing it on here) I was just wondering if there was anywhere I can read more about it? Sorry if this has been asked before and I missed it. Thankyou for your answer 🖤.

Online bdsm can be a great outlet for people in circumstances where a real life D/s relationship isn’t available, but I do caveat this with a huge warning.

Over the years I have seen many marriages dissolve because one partner has gone down this pathway without the support of their spouse. However, if you have an open relationship where your spouse is consenting, then this can work very well. When I was looking for a submissive I had it in my checklist that if a potential submissive had a partner, then I would need to directly talk to them to get their consent. Why? Because it’s their relationship too. You’re talking about involving a Dominant who gives you orders which if you don’t carefully negotiate your boundaries of control, can/will effect your marriage. Alternatively if you do this without your spouse knowing, then you run the very real risk of damaging your marriage when he does find out (yeah… seriously keeping this a secret is like a ticking time bomb). So my advice is to talk with your partner and see if he is willing to support you in being a submissive to another.

There are responsibilities in becoming a submissive to another, this includes having the time dedicated to be with them. Work out what you would be able to ‘give’ to an online relationship;- Your time. This is for communication, tasks, learning, self development - Finances. This could be certain toys/equipment/clothes etc - Emotions. D/s relationships are very intense, you need to be prepared for a roller coaster of possibilities - both highs and lows. Write down exactly what you expect from an online dynamic.

Additionally you need to think about how to exclude things from any D/s relationship;- Family/friends, do you want your Dominant to have any say over who/when you see your family and friends? If not, that needs to be clearly negotiated- Spouse. Ethically - here I say there’s no way a Dominant should have influence over your marriage (including sex with your partner), but I have known plenty of subs put in bad positions because of following orders- Finances. You should seriously exclude any control over your finances, possibly have a small budget set aside for things, but no, don’t hand over your credit card details or spend $$ on expensive things to the detriment of your family/mortgage repayments- Job. Hmm… unless your boss is your Dominant, exclude anything that could put your job in jeopardy. - Illegal activity. Yes… this happens too.

While what I’ve just mentioned seems logical, the online world is full of people with a great story to hook you in, and then emotional manipulation to get you to do things that weren’t a part of your expectations/assumptions.

For anyone entering this domain, negotiation and a written agreement is fundamental. If you don’t know what you’re agreeing to - and conversely what they are agreeing to do, then you’re essentially setting it up to fail at the first hurdle. This is where you get the 'you’re not a real sub’ type statements when you say no to something that wasn’t a part of your assumptions. Worse still, you do it because you think you have to and pay the price with real life ramifications while the online Dom 'ghosts’ on you.

Now, online bdsm communities. There are dozens around. Each with their idiosyncrasies, rules, favourite sayings, cliques and trolls. Explore a few, initially don’t say you’re 'looking for a Dom’ as that’s sure to get every troll/wannabe and predators ears pricked up and your pm full of 'kneel before me you’re now mine bitch’ type dribble. Seriously spend time just getting to meet people, talk bdsm beliefs and philosophies and find people that have a style of bdsm that you’re comfortable with. Friends in a community are more likely to inform you of who to avoid, but also remember to talk directly to their previous partners. Red flag anyone who claims a lot of experience, but doesn’t want you talking to any of their ex’s. some other online communities can be found on whiplr, kik, line, palringo, fetlife and sooo many more apps.

You will find online relationships need to rely on strong text, plus Skype/FaceTime type communications. Remember you don’t have the physical presence of another, nor body language. Both sides need to be creative (one word responses don’t go far) and this does engage more the psychological side of a relationship rather than the physical side. Where possible, I recommend doing the activity not just typing 'doing it’. Of course you can’t experience an impact session as you can only do a certain amount to yourself, but there are activities you can do, however, what you miss out is the anticipation of not knowing when/where the next drop of wax may fall etc.

So I hope this hasn’t made you run for the hills, but hopefully avoid many of the initial traps when it comes to starting down this path. If you find the right Dom (and no it probably won’t be the first dozen you speak to), you can have a wonderful experience. Good luck.

Heels 👠👠