#my relationships were a mess

[soggypotatoes]

I did feel a bit sad at the pride event today bc seeing so many happy queer couples.... I don't really get to experience that part of life due to childhood trauma and it make me sad

[itty-bitty-sunshine]

At what point do you start seeing one in the other?

At what point do you start looking at the devil like a friend?

[seefasterdraws]

from the homumiko mines

[mamawasatesttube]

timcassie is so compelling to me. they were not into each other even a little bit. it was such a messy coping mechanism fuelled entirely by grief. they were making out with each other because they were both substituting each other for kon. cassie was far more aware she was doing this than tim was. unironically, dating a girl here is one of the gayest things tim has done

[hajihiko]

Ryota learns what he's gotta do at the boat; nothing anyone expects of him, but it's what he Does.

[virgothozul]

Ok. I have listened to the people. I have watched the thing. It is very wholesome.

Kazu comes home. He is hopeless and tipsy. And he swings between excited and wasted.

[robynator]

re-read some of the scenes in russian roulette and i have to say, i find it hilarious how much of a hypocrite john rider is

john to yassen: forget about your grandfather, family is a weakness that can be used against you by your enemies. oh you're carrying a watch that used to belong to him because it reminds you of home? weak. get rid of it.

also john to yassen: i've been married for three years and have a kid on the way. yes, i am wearing my wedding ring in your presence, despite the fact that you are a baby assassin in the making and i keep telling you that sentimentality is a weakness. and now i am going to meet up with someone that is definitely not my wife, but don't tell rothman, ok? i'm not supposed to do that on a mission so this is super secret

john to yassen: assassins do not have preferences. your preferences can get you killed and if you make a habit of ordering the same food or drink at any place, that can be used to find you

also john: *orders grenadine on every possible occasion & has a habit of drinking his special whiskey after a successful kill*

dude really said ”do as i say, not as i do”, while never acknowledging that he went against his own teachings in the first place, all the while gaslighting yassen with the whole ”i am not advising you to leave scorpia, i just don't think that you are cut out for this line of work, but of course the last thing i want to do is dissuade you, i'm just saying that you can leave not that you should” thing. he is SUCH a manipulative bastard i love him

[bloos-bloo]

I got another long post of the shit that went down in the cult of terrorsss- yaaaaay

For some reason Leshy and Narinder were being so nice?? Leshy my boy?? I love you???

IDK WHAT HEKET WAS ON THOUGH- THEMERNA ISN'T MARRIED TO ME TF?? (Sorry Heket lovers, I rejected her- Gotta stay loyal to the wife Narinder despite the clear one-sided marriage we have)

Also, the way that I called the rite of wraith again and my followers proceeded to destroy the fuck outta Sozo's house- while he got drunk with Shamura and watched Shamura beat the fuck up of one of my followers not once but THREE times-

I tell ya, the shit that goes down in my cult are funny as fuck-

[waitineedaname]

I was about to make a post about how the best ship dynamics are "wanting to tear each other apart (horny)" and "codependent queerplatonic relationship" but then I realized I was just describing the homestuck quadrants. The nature of humanity etc etc

[just-null]

I just discorvered your blog and whilst I am primarily a choso enjoyer I do think noritoshi is also a really cool character, and I really hope he and choso get a chance for a proper interaction at some point! I'd love to know what your opinion is of choso and how you think he would interact with noritoshi :) also your art is really pretty

[UPDATE] this post was made before Gege revealed that Choso was a shit teacher and before the Kamos ever interacted. This was just my assumptions at the time.

I also want to see them interact... strap in fam, bc I never shut the fuck up

I may describe Choso as a bit OOC since I don't know much of the manga, but I do know bits and pieces!! also what the wiki told me, heh.

[Choso thoughts]

Choso feels like that big brother who's stricter when training/teaching, but lenient when doing literally anything else involving his younger sibs. Although he's wearing a bored expression the entire time, he's actually super happy when around them.

I really like big brother characters so he might climb up my favorites when I see him in action. from that one popular screenshot of him giving Jogo a goofy smirk, I can tell he's got this tiny side of playfulness to him. He can be annoying if he wants to, and he sometimes does that with his brothers. 10/10 guy!

I've seen fanart and some headcanons of Choso, and I can firmly say that he's a green flag. He's the guy who would fix you without trying. HE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING, YOU JUST FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER FOR HIM.. OR SO I HEAR

[more details under the cut!]

[Choso + Noritoshi interaction thoughts/headcanons?]

Choso and Noritoshi are like super distant cousins/uncle/nephew right?? They came from the same jujutsu hitler, so Noritoshi is like Choso’s many greats cousin/nephew. Be fr though, if there's someone younger than Choso and is related to him in some way, that's an instant lil sibling of his. WHICH IS WHY, their relationship has two sides to it. (imo)

First up is the teacher/student aspect. 

It's no secret that Noritoshi is weaker compared to Choso, therefore, he'd want to train under him. Choso is a strict teacher, he wants his lil bros to be able to protect themselves if he's unable to be there for them, which is perfect since that's Noritoshi's comfort zone. He wants to hone his abilities to reach or even surpass Choso, so he needs someone who'd nitpick him. 

I can see them sparring, and Noritoshi having an awe struck face every time he gets taken down with a new move Choso has yet to teach him. "How did you do that? You must teach me that next, sensei!"

Choso would probably chortle and lightly nudge Noritoshi with his foot, but internally, he's screaming. Imagine your little brother saw you do something cool, and he's shouting at you to show him how to do it. That's the same feeling Choso would get. Of course, he'd show him eventually, but Noritoshi needs to get the hang of the moves he's tasked with right now before adding more to his plate.

They're both beaming with joy when Noritoshi shows progress. Well- as much as two guys who barely emote can beam. Noritoshi is proud of himself for constantly improving and Choso proud of his lil bro for getting stronger!!!!!!

I imagine they bicker often but when they're in teacher/student mode, they rarely cross each other. Noritoshi knows he's training under a teacher and Choso is teaching his lil bro how to beat ass.

The second half of their relationship is the.. older brother/older(?) brother aspect.

whereas Noritoshi is getting little brother treatment from Choso but doesn't want it and Choso annoys/coddles Noritoshi like the best big brother he is... also my favorite aspect, as shown

Noritoshi is independent. He likes his space and prefers to do things on his own. Because of this he involuntarily became the big brother of Kyoto Tech. People go to him for advice, criticism, help with assignments, and when needing to make a responsible decision, they think, "What would Noritoshi do?" You can say he got comfortable with the role of "big brother." 

So when this new guy comes along who's revealed to be family, Noritoshi deems him as a higher authority. Noritoshi's quick to go back to his old ways of respecting his superiors and it's not that difficult. Choso is older, stronger, experienced, and generally a lot more capable than Noritoshi. However, the downside is that Noritoshi would never grow a close bond with Choso if he kept this up. You can't tell your boss your worries, that's not proper! Choso, knowing this, told Noritoshi to knock off the formalities pretty early on.

I imagine this is the first time they'd ever bicker. Choso tries to get Noritoshi to loosen up a little because they're family, but Noritoshi protests that it's because they're family that he should show extra respect!

Choso probably told Noritoshi to call him brother/uncle or something so they can grow comfortable around each other. Let's be honest, Noritoshi calls his mom "mother," you won't catch him dead calling someone who he currently sees as a superior "brother." They compromise by just using each other’s name without honorifics.

Now that the introductions were out of the way, Noritoshi was now stuck with Choso coddling him. Sure it was nice at first, someone in his family who doesn't yell at him for every mistake he makes and genuinely cares for him, but.. Noritoshi feels… annoyed. Choso reminds Noritoshi of a more tolerable Todo, but he feels like Choso still treats him like Noritoshi needs him. He doesn't need Choso around, but he keeps seeing him everywhere! 

It'd be entertaining to see their dynamic. Noritoshi, the younger brother who doesn't wanna be the younger one and Choso, using that to his advantage to grow close to Noritoshi, by being the annoying older brother. He never takes it too far. just far enough that Noritoshi is saying stuff like “Preposterous!” or “This is slanderous!!” I imagine Noritoshi takes it as a personal defeat when Choso brings him food or treats him to an outing. He allowed himself to get little bro’ed..

Noritoshi would try to take the leadership role again and "big brother" Choso back in a respectful way. Maybe suggesting things he should do. Choso probably lets out breathy laughs and pats Noritoshi's head when he tries this. Then promptly goes back to doing whatever he was doing. Choso sees this as "my little brother scolding me for something." Another defeat for Noritoshi..

I can see these two bickering about the smallest things. And by bickering, I mean Choso annoying Noritoshi because he wants to take care of his little bro!!! and Noritoshi getting upset because he's not!!! little!!! he can do it himself!!!

I feel like Choso and Noritoshi would get comfortable with this though...

Choso would get a side of Noritoshi he doesn't often give to most people. They have a special bond that unites them both. Whether it be their cursed techniques or their similar childhoods or some other third option, they stick by each other. The same is true for Noritoshi, he finally has someone that cares about him and not his status. While yes, Choso can be annoying at times, Noritoshi is growing used to having him around. It would seem too quiet if Choso wasn't making him annoyed in some way.. 

of course, they'd have their calm moments. Having siblings is both a hurricane and shallow waters.

These two are stoic fucks, so I can see them communicating wordlessly. The full fucking package like nodding, shoulder shrugs, huffs, BLINKS, you fucking name it and they just had an entire conversation. They say they make it obvious on their faces, but literally, no one can tell. Some people (Arata) think they speak telepathically..........

I hinted at it in the little doodle above, but Choso would probably help Noritoshi with calligraphy. Choso is OLD so he's got to have seen some old old Japanese cursive... He'd use his knowledge to help Noritoshi improve!!!

The whole thing with Choso cooking for Noritoshi.. Its what older siblings do to coax their younger sibs out of their shell. Who doesn't like free food? Choso learns pretty quick from what i've seen and with coffee being Noritoshi’s favorite drink, he's using that.

Choso: there’s a coffee shop downtown.

Noritoshi: what

Choso: we’re going together

Noritoshi: I never agreed to this

Choso: don’t forget your jacket, it could get cold.

And then they go.

Noritoshi enjoys company if it doesn't bother him. So if Choso walked into his room and sat down to do something quietly, Noritoshi wouldn't bat an eye. and That's how they hang out sometimes, just in the same room and they both have a blast.

this one is just me fucking around but I can see Choso asking for advice on how to approach Noritoshi like a father asking how to approach his teen kid. Noritoshi is similar, but he's asking why this guy is doting on him and being annoying. They ask around because I doubt either of them know how to use a phone. Noritoshi is old-fashioned while Choso is just old.

hmm... I can't decide whether Choso would use Noritoshi's name more often to attach the name to a better person or give Noritoshi a nickname to avoid using it....... I want to lean into the former but hmm......

that's all I got! This could be so ooc but fuck it! I like it. Sorry if this was all over the place, i was throwing spaghetti at the wall!!!!

[my ranting, its not important skip this. theres also slight spoilers]

im sitting here analyzing your wording. youre implying they HAVENT met properly?????? ITS BEEN A FUCKING WHILE. LET THEM MEET AGAIN WHAT THE FUCK IM PUNCHING THE WALL. WASNT THERE AN ENTIRE REVEAL THAT YUJI WAS HIS SUPER DISTANT LIL BRO implying that he also has some relation so to noritoshi too which is super cute now that i think about it.. stoic bitch with a sunshine guy who wont shut the fuck up... wait i love that sm..... but regardless WHAT THE FUCK??? LITTLE BROTHER MY ASS.GEGE YOU HAD NORITOSHI RIGHT THERE. FYM NEW LITTLE BRO YUJI. NORITOSHI IS GOING THROUGH IT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BUT THIS GUY IS ALONE... I JUST WANT HIM TO HAVE SOME FAMILY BRO. GEGE WHAT THE FUCK. AND CHOSO HAVING THOSE DREAMS AND FANTASIES OF HIS BROTHERS TOGETHER. PUT NORITOSHI IN THERE. BRING NORITOSHI BACK YOU ONE EYED CAT FUCK..... I WONT FORGET THIS GEGE, WHEN I CATCH YOU GEGE WHEN I CATCH YOU GEGE WHEN I CATCH YOU GEGE.....

[lisutarid-a]

[hazel2468]

Just a completely random thought but like...

I am truly starting to believe, at least for people my age (so late 20s- early 30s range), our parents didn't actually want children. Not in the way that matters.

They didn't want unique, individual, whole other people to raise into adults. They didn't want to do the amazingly hard work of being a parent- in that being a parent entails making sure your children can go out into the world and be their own people and make their own way, and it is your job as the person raising them to prepare them for that as best you can.

They wanted "children". As in dolls. As in "look at this thing I made let's talk about how great I am for making it". As in "let me brag about all of my child's accomplishments, those are all on me, but if they fail that is on them". As in "my child matters in what they can give me, not in who they are as a person of inherent value". As in "this was expected of me and I did it and now I am going to raise this human being the same way my parents raised me".

As in "why doesn't my fully grown adult child talk to me anymore? They're so entitled! They're so whiny! They DARE tell me I didn't do a good job parenting them! They DARE tell me I hurt them! They DARE express that they have feelings and thoughts and wants and a life outside of what I imagined for them in my head, outside of what will look good on me! How dare they not be a little thing I can hang on my fridge with a magnet and point to and say look my baby loves me. Look I am a good parent- that means I am a good person. Look I became a parent and that means I am GOOD. How DARE they undermine my entire identity as a Good Parent by telling me that I messed up?"

[notsooldmadcatlady]

[wickmitz]

what do you think mitzi’s type in men is?

hmm, this is a fun little ask! especially since her love interests, on a surface level, couldn’t be more different. we have :

zib : former long term boyfriend but not quite … they were very loose with labels, as we know from outside information and the way zib lives life in general. but despite this, whatever feelings fostered between them were intense ; enough so for him to stick around years later, resigned to a chained down lifestyle simply because he doesn’t want to leave mitzi. he’s very loyal in that sense! even if it’s not a conventional type of loyalty. we know that before bitterness seeped inbetween their bond that zib took good care of her, while also being a complete mess of a person ; someone perpetually scared whenever physical conflict is concerned and being a musically inclined man who very much treats himself as a free spirit, with a morbid philosophy and feel towards life. he’s got a major tortured artist aesthetic!! is a little gripped by melancholy and nostalgia … zib is a lot of things, and ambitious is surprisingly one of the many puzzle pieces that make up dorian zibowski.

atlas : ruthless gangster, has an eerie presence that frightens even the people closest to him. he is prone to a more quiet disposition ; never speaking and always a blot of unremarkable grey. but he is an opportunist! someone who can manage a business and take advantage of shortcuts and loopholes to become even more successful … basically he is wealthy and uses his assets well. but all of this is done with a manner of distance, leaving even those closest to him never having the full picture of who he was. it’s also worth noting that mitzi and him had eventual problems, which caused her to seperate. also perhaps has a heart of some kind, but whatever love he possesses is hidden under layers of blood and mystery.

wick : well-to-do bore, and i say this with all the love in the world for wick! but compared to previous paramours he’s rather clean and talkative … there is a constant earnestness to him that bleeds out, an honesty and a more conventional sort of kindness. he doesn’t hide behind smoke and mirrors and there’s never really a front he puts up around mitzi -- or his investors for that matter, hence why he’s treated as an ‘outsider’ so to speak. he is an alcoholic who loathes the details of his job but is more than passionate about the job itself and makes this everyone’s problem … he is a little helpless, in the sense he’d die without someone there to make sure he functions … and is, like zib, perpetually afraid of conflict. can be a little wishywashy and can come across as uncaring due to his cheeky tone … but he’s loyal and caring, with a hobby for the unusual ( bugs and rocks lol ) as well as being able to look past the gossip mill and see the actual mitzi may as he knows her, someone who’s going through a rough time and is either too kind or classy to be a brutal killer. he is hypocritical, a little snobby, and rather forward with mitzi too. kind of a flirt when he wants to be!

something that immediately stands out to me when looking at this lineup is that mitzi doesn’t enjoy a violent man. i don’t think she loathes someone who can so brutally or clinically remove others from this earth, but if she were to go for someone they’d usually be sweeter in a sense. it meshes well with her old personality and kinder heart, perhaps brings it out in her, and that sort of levity and breeziness is more enjoyable than, say, being fully aware of the dangers that lurk around every corner because the man you’re beside is prone to bringing it. she also enjoys more talkative types, someone who’s less quiet and demure and serious, and is keen on her men having a hobby they care deeply for ; some sort of long term goal to work towards doesn’t hurt either. and because of some scenes in the comic, i’m a firm believer that mitzi wants someone who can make her smile or laugh with ease, whether because they’re ridiculous by nature or genuinely funny! she has a sort of funny bone herself, enamored with gallow’s humor and darker jokes, so having someone who either a.) reacts hilariously in the face of her jokes or b.) who can return that energy with teasing or their own brand of silly is desirable. everyone could use a good laugh or two, a sense of joy injected into the bustling life they all live, and this all ties back to mitzi being more drawn towards the less stuffy types of men.

so atlas seems to be an outlier when it comes to her type in many ways, hence the later problems they apparently had in their relationship even if she did love him dearly. but, of course, atlas did have something very appealing to her that zib had failed to give, which she rather fondly recalls in the comic page vestige. whether zib likes acknowledging it or not, mitzi wasn’t as gungho about their normad life as he was … or, at the very least, when she lived another life besides that one, she realized she had a preference! and atlas gave her that path, that knowledge that she wanted something else, and seemingly for the very first time in her life … she felt like a proper lady, a feeling that clearly meant a lot to her. it wasn’t just the dresses or the wealth, it was the constant eye of atlas who could have any dame he wanted, but fancied her his wife regardless. it was having someone so respectable looking, dressed well and groomed well, being able to see her as something other than a sweating, exposed girl in a bawdy dress. atlas’s seemingly polite treatment towards mitzi was enough to garner her affections in spite of everything else, so i think she enjoys that now in others, ; folks who treat her as though she’s a woman in high society, men who don’t gawk at her or make lewd remarks immediately … she probably prefers the courting process now and the quaint dates ( that she doesn’t pay for, mind you ) that come along with it. she just -- likes mutual respect, i think. and who doesn’t? she’s been through a lot to get to where she is now, even if it’s a bad predicament, and she’d like for that to amount to something. some sort of acknowledgment, some kind of recognition.

however, it’s worth mentioning that her views on romance and all that it entails have been warped since the death of her husband. such a loss would change how anyone approaches their dating life, if they were to even have one afterwards … after all, mitzi’s whole problem is that she doesn’t want to move on from atlas and has thus completely romanticized him in her head, to the point that she earnestly believes she’ll be miserable forever without his presence. any problems she had with atlas have long since been erased by her tortured mind, leaving her with a profound misery she’s wallowing in. i think she believes herself as incapble of romantic or sexual inclinations nowdays, leading her to view the advances made towards wick as a necessary ‘evil’ for the sake of atlas may and little else -- when she genuinely does like sedgewick to a degree, and wouldn’t go on dates or kiss a man unless some part of her honestly wanted to do so. ( i also think she was attracted to wick somewhat even while married to atlas, but that’s besides the point ) so this is all a rather complicated affair! she is vulnerable and weak, is too aware of herself and the criminal underbelly squeezing in closer … add this on top of her still heavily grieving and having no one she feels she can talk to, you have someone who is rather changed. mitzi is so far removed from herself and who she truly is, or was, that there’s no doubt it’s affected her type ; now she’ll settle for anyone if they’ll just help her, and even then she’d be dispassionate if romantic entanglement of any kind was involved in that relationship. it’s not something she wants right now, and honestly, it all seems scary and daunting … besides atlas, zib was the only other man she’s ever loved enough to stay around for, so she’s never faced a loss like this before. has kept zib throughout all the turmoil and changes -- so this is, as far as we know, her first major loss where it concerns matters of the heart. it’s not shocking she’s so messed up after it, especially given how fresh it all still is. all of this rambling is to say that mitzi’s a little more stingy and cagey then she used to be about love or sex, and she has a lot of inner battles to face before she can fall for someone and be sure about it. needs to thaw, i think, and she would require patience and understanding from anyone who actually wanted to be with her. mitzi could move on with time ( i do not think she’s the type of widow who’d never date again! ) but it would take quite some time to do so. well, in a world where she’s allowed / is able to heal anyway!

while her type would probably remain the same, i could see her wanting a serious relationship more than she did prior to the death of her husband. has no energy for the loopholes, or the rationalizations, or the fickle nature that can grip someone’s heart. she has matured in a lot of ways since her band days and would take comfort in frivolous things like labels and promises of a future, together, as lovers. while what she had with zib was nice and is cherished alongside the freedom to do as she pleased while on the road with the band, i don’t think she misses it. having the stability and assurance of an actual relationship, with all the hardships that come with it, would be better suited for her. as long as she’s treated like an equal of course! i don’t think she’d be keen on her partner hiding anything from her, even if it’s meant to protect her, due to where that put mitzi when atlas was killed. she’d rather know and be disgusted, or worried, or scared than to not know about something at all until it’s too late … again. naturally patience and compassion would also be of importance, as would the usual things she loves like loyalty and a passion for something in life. and while never required, she’d be happy if the person possessed even a singular musical bone in their body! she still thinks artists, particularly musicans, are sexy after all … likes the angst and brooding that comes with it, the slight flare towards the dramatics … as long as they can handle mitzi in her pitiful entirety and do, to some degree, care deeply for her and will compromise … i think she could find some happiness wherever. bonus points if she can live comfortably for the rest of her days too, lord knows she’s tired of the constant battle of hucking and bargaining.

but yeah! mitzi’s love life is vast and complex and i definitely see her as someone who is more flexible in type than other people are. though there are similarities between her suitors if you really look! anyway, i hope i was able to briefly touch upon this subject because my shipping brain loved your question and kinda went into overdrive, alas. tldr ; her ideal type is wick sable. sorry. once wick learns an instrument the wedding is back on!! … i’m kidding lol. well, mostly <3

[sweetpapercroissant]

i don’t get the appeal of an incest ship if you’re only ever going to focus on the good romantic feelings and not the icky negative ones. the resentment the feeling of being trapped shackled wanting out and away from the person who knows so much too much about you since before you even knew to not allow it but at the same time you can’t imagine living in a world without them being away is like tearing a limb a piece of your soul you will never again be complete without them. no one else will ever understand you the way they do no one else will ever get so deep under your skin and you may hate it but you hate the thought of them not being there even more you can’t stand to see anyone else get to a part of them you didn’t and even worse when they get it before you. you push and you push and you push but when they let go it’s like you’re free falling and it doesn’t matter how far away you run you will never be far enough away because you carry them inside you everywhere you go. you tell yourself you want nothing more than to get away but they’re the only home you will ever have and you won’t ever let anyone get that close you’re already moulded to only fit in perfectly with them and you didn’t have a choice but this is who you are. there’s nothing you could do to make them let you go but there’s nothing you could do to make them let you go. you want to be so close to them you want to merge your bodies into one you hate how crowded you feel when they’re in the same room like they’re sucking in all the air and there isn’t any left for you and you want to get away so you can just breathe but you don’t even want to breathe in the air that hasn’t passed through their lungs first you hate that you feel this way you wish you could claw it out of your veins but then who would you be without it without them you want so much and it’s so ugly and you’re ashamed of how raw that need is how you want every part the good the bad the human you wish none of this had ever happened you feel dirty you never even had a chance to find something else be something else but then you look over and you love them so much so much and when it comes down to it nothing else was ever going to be enough for you anyway.

[jaguarys]

For the record I don't think the Sannin had some sort of dramatic falling out. I think they grew apart in a way that they almost didn't notice. I think they found different interests, different people, and no matter how much they told themselves they were still as close as they'd always been they weren't. And I think it was a process of continually realizing these people aren't who you idealized in your mind; that they are maybe, kind of, sort of bad people; that they have done things you can't ignore, and that, maybe, they are your enemies. But there's no closure there. There's no sense of relief to be gained. Because you love them. You love them more than anyone in the world–– more than your students, more than your spouse, more than your family, more than your village. They know more about you than anyone ever will or ever could. They hold pieces of you, not only in your knowledge, not only in your youth, but in your soul, because they are one-third of it. You know them more, and less, than anyone could, and definitely more than you should