#my uncle recommends the same two books with the same enthusiasm every time and he’s got fun stories about his engineering work

[badolmen]

I love the way my uncle I almost never see and barely know emails me stock market updates and advice every few months. I love the way my uncle who lives 7 hours away will visit to give us new philosophical book recommendations. I love the way my cousin calls on Wednesday nights at 6PM sharp to update me on the geology convention schedule during the summer. I love the way my dad calls during his work hours to make sure I’m doing alright after a stressful day. I love the way I can text a family friend about construction supplies and he’ll give me advice on what brands and stores to avoid. I love the way my former coworker texts me to ask how I’m doing and to send me pictures of chanterelles he finds. I love the way my old boss would force us to take long water breaks and buy us ice pops in the summer. I love the way my little brother builds redstone contraptions in minecraft to make my life easier and locations more accessible on our server. I love the way men love.

[kamekamelea]

Planting a seed

This story was written for my dear fandom friend @shannaro-sakura ❤ this is my virtual hug for you and I hope it cheers you up a bit :)

(Big THANK YOUs go to @fm-white and @ashlyne-m for being awesome betas!)

(also, this is my first Zutara piece so this is exciting)

Summary:  Zuko turns out to be a cultivator, Katara learns what an "arbuz" is and everything becomes just a little bit sweeter.

read on AO3

~~~*~~~

Zuko had been waiting for this afternoon all week.

A week ago Katara announced her plans to stay in the palace after the summit the entire gang attended was over. Every night since that day, just before falling asleep, the young Fire Lord thought about her embarrassed smile as she asked if he’d be okay with her staying a bit longer. He almost gathered up the courage to hug her, to show her how okay he was with that.

After bidding their friends goodbye in the morning, the Fire Lord couldn’t have been more eager to get to work. There were a few crucial matters on his agenda for today and he rush through them to make it on time.

On time for afternoon tea with Katara.

The appointed hour was near and Zuko hurried to the gardens where he was supposed to meet his friend. He did, however, make a quick stop at his quarters to pick up a very important object—a surprise for Katara.

With the large package in hand, he stepped out of the palace straight onto a soft carpet of grass. Zuko breathed in the fresh air, a blissful relief after the morning spent stuck in his stuffy office. The sight of the old wisteria met him, the one Uncle Iroh claimed to be over a hundred years old, sagged under the weight of its flowers. The tree was really one of a kind—Zuko has never seen another tree bloom in blue.

No wonder Katara’s favourite spot in his gardens was the one right under the biggest branch of the indigo tree. She was already seated there, smiling at him over her book which Zuko recognized as one he recommended to her in one of his letters.

“I’m surprised to see you on time,” she said, skipping the pleasantries. They were too close friends to care about such trivial things as greetings. “I thought your ministers would long for you after you abandoned them for almost three weeks for some foreign delegations,” she said the word foreign with mock disdain, her lips twisted in a smirk. Sunlight danced on her crinkled nose and her cheeks were slightly flushed from the heat, and Zuko wished he had any artistic talent as he was hit with the sudden desire to capture the view.

He waved with disregard for his ministers, not caring about them at all at the moment. Before he could answer, Katara took notice of his pack.

“That’s a heavy looking bag. What is it?”

Zuko couldn’t stop the grin from appearing on his face, as he sat across from Katara and dropped the round package on the grass between them.

“Something special I’d like to share with you.”

Or rather brag about.

Katara’s eyes shone, and she raised her brows in anticipation, leaning closer to him. He took his time untying the strips on the bag, giving his friend a messy introduction in the meantime. “I’ve been hiding it for a few days—from the others—and before that I kept it a secret for more than a year. It became kind of a hobby for me,” he revealed. “Took me a long time to get to this point, and for now I’ve only managed to grow this one—that’s why I hid it, because I wanted to share it with you—” he finally uncovered the mysterious object, and turned his gaze to Katara, excited to see her reaction.

Zuko’s smile fell, seeing a sceptic frown on her face.

“A... melon?”

“Uhm...Technically, yes. But it’s different from a regular melon.” He took a glance at the globose fruit, the stripes of various greens shining in the sun. And then he remembered why Katara confused the name. “I know that’s how we called it on the Ember Island during the war, but that is not what it’s called. We call it ’arbuz’ here.”

She nodded, eyeing the fruit with genuine curiosity. “And what’s so special about this ‘arbuz’ again?”

“I grew it myself,” he said with an enthusiasm that suited a child more than a Fire Lord, but he didn’t feel embarrassed in front of her. “Have you ever tried this fruit?”

“No, I don’t think so. I remember blasting it with various attacks, but I didn’t care much for its consumption back then,” she chuckled. “But I know how a regular melon tastes.”

“This one is slightly different. Some call it a ’watermelon’, because it is 91% water.” He put an emphasis on the number and Katara was polite enough to show amused interest in the fun fact he provided. “And I thought…” He put his hands on the sides of the fruit to keep them from shaking. “I thought you might like it, because… you know… you like water,” he finished, his shoulders slumping from embarrassment.

Her frown deepened and his heart froze.

“So, because it is made of water, you figured I’m bound to like it?”

Heat rose up his neck, threatening to bloom on his cheeks. He tilted his head, showing the scarred side, hoping the redness wouldn’t be that evident there. Now that she said it out, loud it sounded so damn stupid.

“Umm...no. I mean yes… but like in a humorous way… I didn’t mean… did I offend you?” he eventually blurted out.

Giggles bursted out of Katara’s chest and she raised her hand to cover the open mouthed laughter. Zuko wished she didn’t—she looked so beautiful laughing in his gardens he forgot to be embarrassed.

“I’m just teasing.” She leaned closer and playfully tapped him on his thigh, and he felt his blush raising up again when her palm lingered on his knee. “I’m honored to be included in this special occasion of arbuz tasting.” She smiled at him and his own lip curled in response. Her teasing couldn’t upset him really when she beamed at him like that.

His heart, which stopped just a few moments ago, now started beating frantically, so he set to keep his hands busy with cutting the fruit. He sank the blade into the rind and once it broke the barrier Zuko was happy to observe the internal part was much softer.

“Is this the knife Sokka gave you?”

“Yes, I always carry it with me.” He smiled, sentiment tugging at his heart.

“Why?” Katara furrowed her brows.

Distracted, trying to form a coherent answer, he stopped cutting the fruit for a second.

“Because my Dao swords freak people out on a regular day.”

He was more than happy to hear her laughing at his joke, and his knife cut through the rind on both sides. The watermelon opened revealing delicious red flesh. Zuko grinned at the sight—it was a good sign—and raised his head to share his excitement with Katara, only to notice her smile fell.

Her tone turned serious. “Is it still so bad?”

He sighed. The issue of Katara’s friends’ safety always seemed to upset her.

“No, it’s been quiet for some time. I have to admit though—chasing the assassins was quite an entertainment,” he added with a smirk. “Now I’m almost bored from the lack of action. And it is you I blame. You scared them off.”

Katara shrugged, nonchalantly playing with her hair. “If they couldn’t take a few water whips, they didn’t deserve to be the Fire Lord’s assassins.” She smirked with a dangerous glint in her eye.

It was the same look she would wear on the nights the two of them chased the criminals through the rooftops of Caldera City. With the bottom of her face covered with a cloth, he could only see the blue of her eyes, sharp with satisfaction when they caught the bad guys. Their duo had never failed.

He smiled at the memory, making clean cuts of the fruit to shape it into small slices.

“So, you grew it yourself,” Katara started with a smirk. “Who would’ve thought the Fire Lord Zuko had a knack for cultivation?”

“No one,” he whispered with a playful smile, handing her a triangle piece of watermelon. “It’s the best kept secret in the Fire Nation. You’re the only one who knows.”

She raised her brow. “Not even uncle Iroh knows?”

“Not even uncle.” The revelation caused Katara’s face to lit up. “Nor the gardener. I was this close,” he pinched his fingers, “to asking for his help after so many fruitless attempts. But I didn’t and grew it anyway. It’s the first and so far only one.” He eyed the fruit. “I’m so anxious to try it.”

Suddenly the stupidity of his actions struck him. He was so excited to show Katara his watermelon, he ignored the risk of the fruit’s dubious taste. What if it was actually disgusting? Just because it looked good it didn’t mean it had to be good.

Katara’s cheerful voice shook him out of his musings. “I’m not.”

And before Zuko could say anything or knock the slice out of her hold and run far away with his watermelon, Katara sank her teeth in the flesh. She munched, making weird noises and pulling faces at him—some affirmative, some not.

“Oh, stop tormenting me, Katara!” Zuko groaned. “So? How is it? Is it good?”

His desperation caused the girl to burst in another round of laughter. He kept an impressive track record of making her laugh today.

“I don’t know how it is supposed to taste, you tell me!”

Katara shoved her nibbled slice right in front of his face. Zuko froze for a second, taken aback by the intimacy of the gesture, but recovered quickly. He grasped her wrist to bring the fruit closer to his mouth and took a bite.

Her smile widened seeing his reaction.

“It is good!” Excited, he took another bite of Katara’s slice. The blush that bloomed on her cheeks had the color of his watermelon and Zuko realized it had nothing to do with the heat. “Do you like it?”

She nodded enthusiastically, grinning. “Yes, it’s very refreshing. And surprisingly cool.”

“I put it in a cooler last night. Even awful watermelons are bearable to eat when cold.”

“But this one isn’t awful.”

“No, it’s not.” He didn’t even try to stop the cheeky grin from appearing on his face. The watermelon was sweet but refreshing—exactly how it was supposed to taste. And so succulent a small bead of juice ran down Katara’s chin as she took another bite. Without thinking, he reached to wipe it.

Katara stared at him with a funny look on her face—she seemed spooked. His palm which lingered on her jaw now sprung as if burnt.

An awfully awkward silence fell between them for a few long seconds. Then Katara cleared her throat. “Better learn how to grow more of them, Zuko,” she said with a stern voice, but her smile betrayed her teasing. “You had a good feeling about me liking them a lot.”

“Thank Agni, it’s good,” he let go of all the anxious breath that was trapped inside him all morning. “It would’ve been quite embarrassing if I grew a disgusting watermelon for you.”

Zuko choked on said fruit as he realized his slip. Falling into a coughing fit, he didn’t notice Katara drew closer until her hair tickled his forearm.

“Thank you for sharing with me. That’s very sweet of you, Zuko. As sweet as this perfectly cultivated arbuz.”

And then a strand of hair tickled his jaw, and the next thing he knew was Katara’s lips on his cheek. She withdrew quickly, avoiding his gaze. The spot where she left the butterfly kiss burned, but it was a pleasant heat (nothing like getting burnt by a parent).

“I should return the favor now,” she muttered, and Zuko barely heard her.

Still dumbstruck a little, Zuko wasn’t able to formulate a coherent question, so he just furrowed his brows in confusion.

“And cultivate something from the South Pole for you,” Katara clarified.

“Oh.” Something warm swelled in his chest, something that suddenly made Zuko very nervous to be around Katara. “I didn’t know stuff grows on the South Pole.”

“Hardly,” she chuckled. “All I can think of are sea prunes. But they grow in the ocean. Do you like them?” she asked, and Zuko saw the excitement budding in her eyes.

“I don’t think I’ve ever tried them.”

“Hmm…” Katara bit her lip and Zuko knew he was staring but couldn’t look away. “I’ve heard they’re similar in taste to Fire Nation’s ocean kumquats. Do you like those?”

Zuko hated ocean kumquats.

“Yeah...I like them a lot.”

Her eyes widened in now full bloomed excitement and she clasped her hands together. “I can’t wait to treat you with sea prunes stew!”

And as Katara carried on describing the details of the famous South Pole’s cuisine Zuko didn’t even have half the mind to be disgusted by the depiction, because a dumb grin grew on his lips and a feeling started sprouting in his heart.

[theyearoftheking]

Book Forty-Nine: Black House

“Here is a true American loner, an internal vagrant, a creature of shabby rooms and cheap diners, of aimless journeys resentfully taken, a collector of wounds and injuries lovingly fingered and refingered. Here is a spy with no cause higher than himself.” 

After almost fifty books, The Talisman still stands at the top of the leader board as my favorite Steve book. It’s richly layered, full of memorable characters and horrible villains, with a satisfying conclusion. It’s the type of book fantasy and horror lovers alike are eager to escape into. 

It’s sometimes hard to embrace the sequel to a book you love so much... I mean, I can be bought, but my criteria are stringent:

Consider setting the book in Wisconsin... perhaps the beautiful, sad, remote, desolate western part of the state right along the Mississippi river.

Maybe a Dahmer reference? 

Scratch that. Instead, go with an old-school serial killer no one really talks about anymore. How about... Albert Fish? He’s pretty gross. 

On second thought, reconsider a Dahmer reference. Maybe an evil spirit that links Dahmer and Fish together? 

TONS of Dark Tower references. 

If Steve and Pete were to consider writing a follow up to The Talisman with all these elements, I might consider reading it. 

Spoiler! 

Dark House contains all this goodness, and more. 

It’s so fucking dark, y’all. I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to drive past a long-term care facility and NOT think about an old man inside wanting to eat the buttocks of small children.

Oh hey, trigger warnings for cannibalism, and violence against children. 

So, Dark House is set in fictional Coulee County, Wisconsin (not a place). But Steve and Pete (I need to start giving Peter Straub some shout outs as well) describe the western part of the state magnificently. Not too long ago I had a sales job that required me to travel the entire state, and I always loved my jaunts west. I’d park right along the Mississippi, eat my lunch and just soak up the isolation. I’d much rather make the drive to Pierce county than the Quad Cities, which my current employer is asking of me. *Silent scream for help*

Despite Coulee being fictional, the actual Wisconsin references are thick:

De Pere (where we recently found out Steve spent a few formative years)

The Brewers 

Miller Park 

Kingsland Ale- while fictional, it’s a nod to Wisconsin’s rich brewing history, and favorable climate for microbreweries

Dahmer (several times, actually)

Racine. Y’all. I have no idea what Steve’s obsession is with Racine... it comes up in multiple books. It’s really not that great. Take that from someone who spent a brief period of time working there. Honestly, my favorite thing about Racine is the authentic Thai restaurant right in downtown, Sticky Rice. If you find yourself in Racine, please go check them out... their red devil curry is amaze-balls. 

So, yes... lots of Wisconsin. Also, lots of Dark Tower:

Eye of the King

Crimson King

The Tower

Red roses

Breakers

Little Sisters 

Gunslingers and their weapons

Roland and the ka-tet

Monos! Blaine and Patricia

Chief Breaker Brautigan- who allegedly tells hilarious stories about his escapes. I miss him already. 

I have questions about how Steve convinced Pete to include so many Dark Tower elements into this book...

Steve:  “Pete, bud... I know you might have a different vision for how this book plays out. Buuut what about if we make it part of the Dark Tower universe?”

Pete: Stares for a long minute. “Um, I thought that series was dead in the water. Do we really need to use Dark House to resuscitate it?” 

Steve: “Remember the car accident? You know, the one that almost took my leg?” 

Pete *Oh fuck, he’s bringing up the car accident as a bid for sympathy, and to convince me to make this a Dark Tower book...* “Of course I remember!”

Steve: “Well, it shook some things loose. I’m about ready to finish the series. I just thought it might be fun if we make this book a lead-up to the finale” 

Pete: “It’s intriguing, but I’m not really sure it’s the direction I want to go in. I was thinking more-”

Steve: “I ALMOST DIED IN THAT ACCIDENT!” 

Pete: “Cool, Dark Tower book it is!” 

I should write fan fiction. I’ve obviously got a gift. 

Black House is told from a birds-eye narration view. Literally... there’s this fat, evil crow named Gorg flying all over town, giving us the lay of Coulee County. Bad stuff has been going on: little children have gone missing, and only a few of their bodies have turned back up mutilated and broken. 

The chief of police, Dale Gilbertson, knows he’s in over his head, and keeps trying to convince his pal, retired police detective, Jack “Hollywood” Sawyer to come consult on the case.

Jack isn’t having it. He retired young and moved to Coulee County from Los Angeles after tracking down and arresting serial killer Thorny Kinderling. The majestic beauty of western Wisconsin caught him by surprise, and he happily invested in reasonably priced (read: cheap) real estate with a view. 

Upon moving to Wisconsin, Jack befriended Dale’s blind uncle Henry Leydon; who voices several radio programs, including The Wisconsin Rat, which plays indy screamo bands and has plenty of shock-jock antics. The two hang out together, listen to jazz music, and sometimes Jack reads to Henry. Henry was able to use his elevated senses to study Jack’s speech pattern and figure out Jack’s mom was THE Lily Cavanaugh; the Queen of the B’s. 

While Jack and Henry are reading Bleak House, Charles “Burny” Burnside is wandering around the Maxton Elder Care Facility, pretending to have dementia, and dragging children into The Territories for Lord Malshun to either use as Breakers, or for Burny to snack on if they have no Breaking skills. So, Burny’s a bad dude who did some suspicious things in Chicago; but an evil spirit (the same one who invaded Albert Fish and Jeffrey Dahmer’s bodies) is what’s causing his kidnapping and cannibalistic urges. I know I say this every ten books or so, but Burny might be the worst King villain ever. I was not upset later on when his intestines were violently ripped from his body.

A sweet little boy (with strong Breaker powers) named Tyler Marshall goes missing outside the Maxton Elder Care Facility. While he was being pulled into the bushes by Gorg who kept repeating his name; his mother, Judy receives a taunting package and letter from The Fisherman, which sends her over the brink, and she’s institutionalized. 

Tyler’s disappearance really amps up the town outrage, and Jack agrees to help the police department out. He’s starting to suspect there’s some Territories nonsense going down, and he can help. 

From here, the book goes at break-neck pace and includes everything from micro-brewing bikers, a dog bite that causes one to dissolve into a foamy puddle on the couch, our old friend Speedy Parker showing up as a gunslinger, the world’s most annoying newspaper reporter, plenty of flipping between worlds via the creepy old black house hidden in the woods, and a happy(ish) ending. Honestly, there’s a warning at the end of the book, which allows you to choose your own ending. You can stop reading five pages before the end, and enjoy a happy ending where the good guys win; or you can get the real world ending. Both are satisfying... I recommend reading all the way to the end. 

So, just a few quotes for you... 

“Wolf died of a disease called America.” 

This line gutted me. I didn’t realize how much I loved Wolf as a character, until I had to read a follow-up that didn’t include him. His soul was too clean and beautiful for a fucked-up world like the one we currently live in. 

“He doesn’t like the cell phone to begin with- twenty-first-century slave bracelets, he thinks them...”

No explanation needed. 

“Why must life always demand so much and give so little? Parkus answers her question with a single word: ka.” 

Again, no explanation needed. 

Was this book as good as The Talisman? 

No. 

Did I want more? 

Absolutely.

But was I satisfied with the end?

You bet your (un-chomped on) ass.

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 33

Total Dark Tower References: 50

Book Grade: A-

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Black House: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

Storm of the Century: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers: D-

Now I move onto From a Buick Eight. I’ve had an advanced reading copy since the book came out, but never had the urge to actually read it. That should tell you everything you need to know about my level of enthusiasm right now. I’m hoping it’s not a Christine 2.0. 

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights, Rebecca 

[mrnerdteacher]

“Spider-Man: Homecoming’s” Seven Best Jokes and Why they Matter

Spider-Man has had a rocky ride when it comes to Hollywood. Sam Raimi’s first two films were instantly beloved mega-hits that proved the superhero formula could be a cash cow, but the next three titles that bore the wall-crawler’s name ranged from just alright to downright abysmal. In case you didn’t already know, Spider-Man: Homecoming is a MUCH needed course correction, and in my opinion the best Spider-Man movie, ever, by a pretty huge margin.

What makes it so special? Its sense of humor. Jon Watt’s attempt reminds me a lot of my favorite Spider-Man stories: the first few years of the “Ultimate Spider-man” comics penned by Brian Michael Bendis (who unsurprisingly gets a special thanks in the credits). What he does better than any iteration prior (or since) is fully convince the reader that Peter Parker is a goofy kid caught up in a world of larger than life choices, risks, and consequences. That premise is simultaneously kinda heart-breaking and, more importantly rife for comedy. Here are, in no particular order, the 7 best laugh out loud moments in Spider-Man: Homecoming and how they help give this movie its secret sauce.

Minor spoilers ahead, but I will write these in a way that the punchline isn’t ruined prematurely.

Every Scene with Hannibal Buress

Not only is he one of my favorite comedians, but in this film he perfectly captures the DGAF high school gym teacher who’s only there for the paycheck. Far too often teachers are portrayed as either inspiring life-changers or raging assholes, but his trademark drawl brought to life a type of “educator” that is rarely represented. It simultaneously got the audience laughing and buying into the setting of a real world high school.  

Captain America’s PSAs

Glimpsed in the trailer, these short segments in which Rogers doles out advice to impressionable and angsty teens are not only hilarious but add a fun bit of world-building, making this movie feel very much a part of the same timeline we’ve been following for nearly a decade. Plus, the final one in the film is gleefully tongue-in-cheek. How many more, indeed?

Zendaya’s Sketches

Does it count as a spoiler if it made national headlines? I’m gonna go with no and assume that you already know about the model’s casting as some manner of “romantic interest” and the subsequent backlash provided by the “totally not racist” idiots of the world. However, her appearance is by far the least important thing about her. Zendaya’s performance is unique, funny, instantly likable, and a total scene-stealer. Her “art project” is more interesting and entertaining than anything Emma Stone or Kirsten Dunst ever did in five movies combined.

“What are you doing in here? There’s a dance going on…”

A big part of what makes this movie so much more watchable than previous attempts is that Peter is finally not “going it alone.” Every few scenes he is getting advice from someone, whether it’s the always hilarious Robert Downey Jr. or the awkwardly sincere musings of an A.I. voiced by Jennifer Connely. However, there is no question as to who is the real Robin to his Batman: Jacob Batalon’s lovable “Ned” not only fills your heart with joy in every frame but provides probably the movie’s biggest laugh when he is questioned about his late night whereabouts during the Homecoming dance. The delivery is FLAWLESS.

The Importance of Color Coding Your Futuristic Weaponry

A lame villain can do irreparable harm to an action movie, but thankfully Michael Keaton’s “Vulture” is just complex enough to keep you guessing. His origin story of a union man screwed over by big business is certainly empathetic, but the story needed to find a way to make him menacing without having him go “Full Dafoe” and be a heartless monster. The film deftly has its cake and eats it too by making the first travesty he commits be a hilarious gaffe. It’s all downhill from there, but in the best way possible.

Donald Glover’s Got Two Hours to Kill

Seven years ago, this popular rapper and comedian jokingly campaigned to play Peter Parker in the next theatrical reboot, and once again the “not racist, just purist” idiots of the nerd world went bananas. Thankfully, he gets a great cameo in Homecoming, and not only does his dialogue provide a very cool easter egg, he also adds a little humanity to the “nameless minion” trope that so often hangs out in the background of these comic movies. The interrogation satirizes more serious films like The Dark Knight while reminding the audience that Peter is just a kid, and really needs to “get better at this part of the job.” We are thankfully spared from seeing Uncle Ben get gunned down for the umpteenth time, but this scene is a nice reminder that this is still an origin story, complete with all the hilarious fumbling and missteps you’d expect.

“Never Again...”

Update: How could I forget Martin Starr’s hilarious soliloquy about a field trip gone horribly wrong? Beyond injecting being the perfect amount of dark comedy, I really appreciated what this character brought to the premise of the Academic Decathlon team. His under-appreciated enthusiasm echoed very true for someone who spent three years of high school on just such a team, and while we’re on the topic: how refreshing was it to see socially well-adjusted straight-A students unburdened by hygiene problems? I especially appreciate the re-imagining of Flash Thompson as no longer a jock stereotype but rather a spurned peer with an inferiority complex.

Watching Andrew Garfield or Toby Maguire’s interpretations of Peter Parker, it almost seems as if his sense of humor is part of his alter ego, as both are pensive, edgy, deeply stressed, and prone to tearful outbursts unless they’re wearing spandex and dodging bullets.

By contrast, this film never forgets what it’s trying to be: a funny, heartfelt high school comedy that just so happens to be about a superhero. As someone whose enthusiasm for comic book movies was flagging in a big way, I can not recommend it enough.

FINAL GRADE: A