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mira--mira · 3 years

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Hi! I was wondering

How do you think Hashirama and Madara would be in a Road to Ninja version?

I remember once reading a Hashimada fic (which I never finished RIP) that was about Madara appearing in the RTN universe and the 3 things that stucked with me were:

1.- Madara was the first Hokage (something that Madara thought was horrible when he saw his sculpted face on the Hokage mountain 🤣)

And personally I think that it would not have been like that even in the RTN universe because we didn't see his face along with the other faces of Hokages in the movie (Yeah, apparently I'm basing myself on a movie which I'm not even sure if it's canon or not, even though Kishimoto wrote it) and the RTN characters didn't seem to even know who Madara is.

2.- Hashirama having his bowlcut as an adult

And I agree with the Madara from that fanfic, it looks awful on him. Hashirama, babe, I'm sorry but the only ones who can rock that style are Guy Sensei and Rock Lee, I know you just were trying to be cool but it doesn't suite you.

3.- Tobirama was a porn writer

Instead of being a fan of forbidden jutsu and creating justus, he wrote porn novels a la Jiraiya. And I'll hold that headcanon with my dead hands.

The only other fanfic that places the founders in the RTN universe is one where the protagonist is Mito (it's an interesting one-shot that pairs her with Itama 🤔)

She was kind of a shy person 🤔? And so it was Tobirama 🤣 which I found fun.

Hashirama, as the first fanfic I mentioned, was the Tobirama of the place (saddenly Madara wasn't in this fic).

So I would like to know what are your versions of the founders (or only Hashirama and Madara if it is too much) in the RTN universe! And how do you think things would be

Hmm, RTN is an interesting concept to me but, to be honest, I don't think Konoha would exist if a lot of personalities got flipped 😂 I haven't read any RTN fics with the founders, but if you, or anyone else, have links at hand I'd love to check them out 👀

1. Madara

Here's the big one and the crux of why I don't think the village would exist. Typically I characterize Madara as an extremely responsible man who internalizes things when he shouldn't, takes himself way too seriously, is aggressive and abrasive even to people he loves sometimes, but genuinely loves the people closest too him. Reversing this would make a character that slacks off, takes no responsibility, and is completely passive in life and has fleeting attachments to others around him. Assuming he wouldn't die on the battlefield, I could see the RTN "alternate" personality coming about of Madara's being so overpowered and competent that he loses interest and distances himself from things before he can get attached and lose them.

It makes building a village very hard though. (At first I was tempted to go RTN Sasuke route and maybe RTN!Madara is a little more openly flirty than canon!Madara, but the passivity and refusal to take responsibility would be the "core" qualities for me.)

2. Hashirama

Hashirama is a bit weird because he has a lot of surface-level "conflicting" traits in canon. He is optimistic but he pushes beyond his natural attitude and uses it as a mask to hide instead of addressing his feelings. He's mischievous, likes jokes and games, and can be a bit hedonistic with his pleasure but can equally be serious when necessary and will willingly sacrifice for others around him. And simultaneously, Hashirama and Madara are connected by a shared sense of idealism but also anger. Hashirama is a very kind, but extremely angry, man. I think a RTN!Hashirama would share a kind of apathy of RTN!Madara but instead of passivity his lack of anger would manifest as cruelty. Because canon!Hashirama is angry but his anger is usually a righteous kind. I don't think RTN!Hashirama would go out of his way to be cruel, but he doesn't have the empathy of canon!Hashirama, especially to others' suffering. He enjoys fighting just a bit too much and has no qualms about killing. In his mind, he should always come first in any situation and prioritizing (or even considering) others' is effort and him going out of his way to be "nice" and the other should be thankful. Similarly if he feels any negative emotion, he won't bottle it up and swallow it down, he'll immediately address it, usually confrontationally. RTN!Hashirama is as intelligent as his canon counterpart but he doesn't suffer fools and he hates it when people underestimate him. He's pretty proud and vain, tbh.

I really don't think the above would make him the "Tobirama" of RTN verse. To me Hashirama and Tobirama have different core values and perspectives and inverting Hashirama's doesn't make it become Tobirama's, if that makes sense. This one is also wordy bc I immediately knew how RTN!Madara would be RTN!Hashirama is a bit harder to pin down. But I hope it's clear why I have doubts about the village existing...maybe if RTN!Hashirama got it in his mind as a pet project for the hell of it, that he'd be a better leader for the country and not just the Senju alone, and RTN!Madara liked the idea of no responsibility and being able to detach even further than he already was? But that's still kind of grasping for a reason.

3. Hashimada

Equally I think any Hashirama/Madara relationship would be ehhh. They definitely wouldn't have the overwhelming bond of their canon counterparts, and it could be a relationship ripe for unhappiness. The closest I can think of to making the ship work is RTN!Madara would be drawn to Hashirama's absurd level of self-confidence and able to let the casual cruelty slide off instead of getting worked up about it. In a way RTN!Hashirama is stable and predictable. If he's pretty overpowered, there's less of a chance RTN!Madara would lose him, so their relationship isn't deep but it's more or less dependable and Madara knows exactly what he's going to get. In contrast RTN!Hashirama has an audience in the form of RTN!Madara and a partner that's not going to push back against his ideas. RTN!Madara doesn't ask for much and he doesn't complain when RTN!Hashirama puts himself first. He doesn't want, or might not be capable of, the deep emotional bond their canon counterparts have. RTN!Madara wouldn't leave Konoha (if it existed) in the AU, because he doesn't really care. If someone upset RTN!Hashirama and he decided to leave to 'do it right' RTN!Madara would probably follow, maybe out of some loyalty for RTN!Hashirama but mostly because it's what's easiest.

4. Tobirama

The core of Tobirama's character to me is prioritizing logic over emotion and both a conscious and unconscious failure to realize he can't completely eliminate emotion. Tobirama loves his brother, he's curious and has a desire to find out what makes things work and is willing to bend morality to get results if it'll serve a greater good. He's very aware of the unfairness of the world but believes it's an unspoken truth of humanity and can only be mitigated through logical means, but never completely erased. He'll be the sacrificial lamb, the one that works in shadows so his brother can have his utopian dream. Despite everything, he loves his genin, the strongest bonds he has aside from Hashirama, and does try to instill in them lessons he think will help them and lead to peace and stability in the village. He's still influenced by the prejudices of his time and can never find it in him to truly forgive the Uchiha.

A RTN!Tobirama would be a man ruled by emotion. Him writing erotica all day definitely could be one way this manifests lol. But overall he's sensitive and spiritual and can't stand the idea of killing. He and RTN!Hashirama don't get along and he actively tries to avoid his brother. RTN!Tobirama has equally strong principles as canon!Tobirama, but they're pacifist in nature and while he likes his studies, he prefers to be out talking to people and learning from them first hand. He's very naive and can be easily taken advantage of and he has trouble focusing on any one thing for too long. No matter how many times this happens, he never can harden his heart or be overly suspicious of others. RTN!Tobirama would most likely be the one support peace in this AU. He embraces the Uchiha and all the Senjus past enemies with open arms, almost to a foolish degree. It'd be a bad idea if he became hokage in this AU because he's a terrible negotiator and has a bad people-pleasing streak and struggles with long-term tactics. With the exception of RTN!Hashirama, who he considers an aberration who doesn't have a soul, humans at their core all have good intentions at heart.

5. Mito

I characterize Mito as a very level-headed woman. Her marriage to Hashirama is political in nature but they grow to be good friends and she never expected to fall in love and she's glad Hashirama didn't want a traditional wife. Mito is devoted to her community work (she works hands-on with people in the village), she seeks out connections with others and, despite the distance, remains close with her family in Uzushio, constantly writing them letters. She's spiritual and follows the Uzumakis' beliefs (not gonna list this OoT spoiler lol) and studies fuinjutsu in her spare time, something she's done since she was a child. She is willing to sacrifice if it meant protecting something she considered greater than herself, much to her own personal detriment. She loves and is proud of her children and grandchildren, but if she had a choice, she would have chosen to remain childless, she finds her true calling elsewhere.

RTN!Mito, similarly to RTN!Tobirama, is ruled by emotions. She dreams of one day making a good marriage for herself and centers romance and being a mother as her ideal life, but she's extremely picky when it comes picking the perfect husband. RTN!Mito knows how much she's worth and she refuses to settle and will not even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. She has a hard time forming long-lasting, deep bonds with other people and views starting her own family as the solution to this problem. At times she can be a bit absent-minded and unintentionally selfish, but she's not actively malicious. She blusters a lot and depending on the situation can come off as cold and uncaring, but it's only to hide the depth of her true feelings and loneliness. In this AU she would absolutely refuse to marriage RTN!Hashirama. Nothing on hell or earth, could make her change her mind.

Mito is such a blank-slate character it feels like writing an oc more than a canon character, tbh. And this is something I don't see brought up a lot but a "heart full of love" to combat the kyuubi's hatred to me has never been exclusive to romantic or familial (to children) love. *cough* I want a complex female character who's not vilified for not wanting to have children and/or regretting having them *cough* Mito's "love" was for the people of Konoha and Uzushio. My personal headcanon regarding her and Hashirama's child (I don't think she had more than one) was that she was dedicated to her son, but quickly realized being a mother wasn't her dream or something she even actively liked. The kid was well-cared for and she was dutiful towards him, but Hashirama was the parent that loved and embraced him with his whole heart and it led to some tension between Mito and her son as the kid could tell the difference and neither of them were "wrong" to feel the way they did. This is why Tsunade was shown with Hashirama instead of Mito, he was a lot more present in her life when she was young (instead of Kishi just not having made Mito as a character yet). But after Hashirama and Tsunade's dad died (and then Nawaki), she and Mito grew close but it was definitely more of a friendship or student/mentor relationship rather than a traditional grandmother/granddaughter relationship but both were satisfied with it and loved eachother. Likewise I didn't want RTN!Mito's characterization to be shallow and hit misogynistic undertones with her being an "opposite" to Mito's calm, level-headed, focused on her work/passions characterization.

6. Closing thoughts

#1: Wow this got long #2: I feel conflicted about RTN because it seemed to flip surface-level characteristics instead of deep characterizations, and ignored flaws altogether. The ones above, esp. Hashirama and Madara's, are kind of dark in a way? But that's the only way it makes sense to me...Gai and Lee caring about style and being stylish is a funny joke but if you were to actually poke and prod and say their personalities were inverted, neither of them would be top-notch ninja as we know...unless I'm just completely misremembering RTN because I realize it's been years since I saw it lol. Anyway, hope this was entertaining!

#naruto #hashimada #hashirama senju #madara uchiha #mito uzumaki #tobirama senju #asks #al-stuffy #rtn au #long post

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brave-clarice · 3 years

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“Clarice” Liveblog: Episodes 5 & 6

Since these are extraordinarily late, I tried to keep them more concise/focused than before. I’m sorry for how long it’s taken me to (almost) catch up. And to the handful of you who’ve enjoyed these and encouraged me to do them: thank you!

Episode 5, “Get Right With God”

the music at the beginning of this episode might just be in the maintenance guy’s headphones(!) but it was still a…Choice.

there’s something so tragic about watching Clarice be unable to use her legs… :’(

this whole scenario feels like a twisted parallel universe version of the end of Hannibal.

glad to see Ardelia finally has her priorities straight and is going to fight for her best friend! let’s forget her Episode 4 subplot ever happened.

good: the warrior finding a weapon even in the direst of circumstances!

bad: those damn moths are back. at least this time they might be drug-induced.

“she worked Bill alone” no, she didn’t. not really. (Hannibal: I’m right here.)

stop trying to make Likable Paul happen, it’s never going to happen!!!

I HATE the “Reesey” nickname, y’all. HATE. IT.

plus, we know that her dad called her “Baby”?

her father’s appearance doubles down on the end-of-Hannibal vibes...Not Sure If Want.

wow, Clarice is being literally tortured? thanks, I hate it!!!

really doubt that Clarice’s Pinto used to belong to her father (who drives a truck in the books??)... weird flex.

and how would she even have gotten it? her mother would either have driven that car into the ground out of necessity or else have sold it for the money the Starlings needed so desperately.

Pintos also weren’t super high-quality cars and were definitely not built to last ~20 years.

Clarice already being able to chat with her father whenever she needs to really undermines the therapy Hannibal will eventually give her, but…I guess they’ve already accepted they’ll never make it that far?

“you’re trying to get in my head” yeah, and she’s doing it, too–’cause she learned from the best!

“you get an answer, I get an answer, Felker.” she’s Hannibal’s girl all right.

this episode’s had flashes of brilliance before diving back into…whatever tf watching one of your favorite characters of all time being tortured is.

I really wanted Ardelia to say that no, but Clarice was like a sister to her.

it took FIVE episodes to get some lamb imagery, but we’ve been looking at moths for the entire season?!

oof, Clarice voicing her own insecurities about her childhood abandonment and using them to twist Felker’s arm...painful but smart.

HANNAH!!!

I would die 4 baby Clarice

after all that, Clarice is going to apologize to Ardelia about last week? this episode SUCKS.

Good: Clarice playing mind games with Felker like Hannibal did to her; Ardelia going to bat for her bestie, lamb flashbacks, baby Clarice, and HANNAH!

Bad: So much. Clarice being medically tortured multiple times, moth hallucinations, the several-years-premature (imo) Daddy-as-Guardian-Angel plot device, “Reesey”...did I mention Clarice getting repeatedly tortured?!

Ugly: Krendler backstory + making out with his wife. Ew.

Wow, this episode was a hot mess, and I kind of hated it. I loved Clarice’s really Hannibalesque approach to Felker, and I’m so thrilled that Hannah got mentioned at all (tho...did they need to be so heavy-handed with the helmet and gun and everything?) Also nice to see Ardelia behaving much more in-character. That said, it was sickening and imo totally unnecessary to further traumatize Clarice the way they did. To make her almost helpless.

Clarice, and by extension Rebecca Breeds (who is fantastic and deserves better), has been given very little range so far. She’s frequently been shown as miserable, afraid, desperate, traumatized, angry, resentful, but I also want to see her joyful, laughing, silly, relaxed...something else that will give her depth. Her life wasn’t miserable 24/7, 365. It was just unfulfilling. We got glimpses of this in the first two episodes. PLEASE bring it back!

And rn I’m questioning how Clarice’s career can possibly drag on for another six years after this. Her apparent PTSD is already interfering with her job performance as it is--this experience is only going to make it worse. Her “body count” in Hannibal was around five, iirc, and that was enough to slap her with the “Death Angel” moniker. In the show at least four people have died in close proximity to Clarice in the space of like...a week. How does she come back from that, even as the savior of Catherine Martin? It’s a PR nightmare for obth Clarice and the FBI.

They’ve also sort of forgotten that the Martins existed while continuing to flesh out Krendler’s (?!) character? It’s weird.

I almost don’t even want to watch Episode 6 after that. But here goes...

Episode 6, “How Does It Feel to Be So Beautiful?”

the freaking MOTHS again, I hate them!

frankly, yeah, Clarice should be on leave.

Clarice’s nondescript monochrome suits and constant ponytail are just so boring. in the book she’s described as never having to put effort into making her hair look good--so why is it always pulled back in this show?

I’m not sure it’s very in-character for Clarice, at this point in her career, to go over her boss’s head to get out of admin leave (one she really needs to take tbh) even for the sake of solving a case

lol what the actual hell @ AG Martin guilt-tripping Clarice, who was very recently tortured and almost died, for not calling Catherine back? Clarice is not Catherine’s therapist!

THIS is what my Vogue-reading heroine with burgeoning great taste wears for a night out? so disappointing.

never in my life did I think I’d be sitting through Krendler’s personal drama in a show ABOUT CLARICE STARLING.

her costume sucks and her hairstyle’s from years in the future, but dang does Clarice look gorgeous.

and I love thinking of her getting a taste of the luxury she’ll enjoy with Hannibal. :)

you know what? I think I was actually fine with them forgetting that the Martins were in this show.

whyyy is Krendler being made so sympathetic?!

now Catherine Martin “loved to sew” just like Frederica Bimmel? hmm. (tbf, maybe this is in the novel, and I’ve just forgotten.)

her gift for Clarice is sweet, though.

so beautiful, indeed

Christ on a cracker, that confrontation between the Martins was painful to watch (not a criticism). this show’s AG and her daughter are very much two of a kind in terms of emotional manipulation.

I stan one (1) doofus

now either Catherine’s gaslighting Clarice...or Clarice’s trauma (over BILL! again with this!) is so pervasive that it’s twisted her memories. either way, I hate it.

so Krendler’s lawyer is dirty and that’s why he’ll (probably) turn against Clarice? but WHY? why can’t Krendler just suck?

Good: Clarice looking gorgeous, Ardelia continuing to fight for Clarice, female characters in positions of authority everywhere

Bad: Clarice’s underwhelming costumes, Clarice’s primary/worst trauma apparently STILL being Buffalo Bill & having Clarice break down crying again (and NOT over what happened last week, which would tbh make a lot more sense).

Sad: Shaan’s backstory about his wife, everything involving Catherine

Ugly: Krendler subplot. Ugh.

I just don’t know how I feel about this installment. Wish I cared more about the overarching conspiracy plot, but I’m really only here for Clarice and Ardelia. And while no show can stand on the shoulders of a single character, for a show about Clarice, there seems to be quite a bit of screentime devoted to her bosses, Martin and Krendler, and even to her team members. And all without Clarice herself getting much character development. They don’t seem to be exploring much of her character other than her traumatic backstories, and I’m no longer very hopeful that she’ll be much more fleshed out in the last four episodes, either. It’s a bummer. I really think Rebecca could shine like Jodie did if she were given a chance.

Most of the scenes with the Martins were visceral and felt so real that it was hard to watch. That said...the AG Martin/Catherine content all strikes me as being somewhat detached from the rest of the show, as if the writers are making it up as they go along with no real end goal in mind.

Man...these two were rough going. Very little humor or warmth and absolutely no joy. Of course the source material is dark, so a somewhat dark crime drama is to be expected, but I really think the show needs a slightly less intense, bleak and (dare I say it?) unpleasant episode. But they writers have really dug themselves into a hole by zeroing in on Clarice’s PTSD. And unlike in Hannibal, there’s no love interest with whom she (and by extension, the audience) can flee her misery and pain.

I'm cautiously optimistic about the rest of the season. A lot of the ingredients are there, and despite my many criticisms, it’s been great to spend time with a character I love. Fingers crossed that they finish strong!

#Clarice Starling #cbs clarice #clarice #rebecca breeds #spoiler warning #bc I know a few of you haven't quite caught up either #long post for ts #media [cbs show]#actor [rebecca breeds]#char [clarice starling]#char [the night watchman]#char [paul krendler]#char [ardelia mapp]

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docholligay · 4 years

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Fx’s A Christmas Carol

This review/ramble was sponsored by @amberlilly, and has taken me quite awhile to do. It clocks in at being 6,400 words long, and oh my loving God. If you want to watch the Miniseries itself, you can find it on Hulu! PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU ENJOY

I love A Christmas Carol. This may seem strange to you, given that I am a Jew who pretty virulently hates Christmas, but it isn’t REALLY a Christmas story, it’s a moral fable about selfishness and greed and the inability to appreciate and see the softer and brighter things that bring no profit. It’s a fucking story that every asshole hoarding toilet paper needs to hear right now. It’s a favorite for always, I read it every year, and I have seen many, many versions of it, and I bring you all that “wisdom” in this lengthy review of FX’s effort this past Christmas.

Spoiler alert: I BASICALLY PICK APART THE ENTIRE MINISERIES.

The shortest possible version of this entire loping review: I really quite enjoyed FX’s A Christmas Carol, and that seems to be an unpopular opinion.

In the longer form:

“A gift is just a debt, unwritten but implied”

I have always felt that the finest form of recorded visual media is the miniseries. We, of course, do not call them miniseries any more, but, instead, ‘limited series’ or ‘a special event’ or somet stupid thing like that, for much the same reason I imagine we are now calling a station wagon a ‘full length hatchback’ because people are idiots, and you can’t sell something to someone if they don’t it is novel.

The miniseries allows the story time to breathe, allows for lingering thoughts and ideas in the way a two hour movie does not. And it avoids the worst of the TV show problem, where a show is punished for its own success by being forced to be mined like its fucking coal shale until there is absolutely nothing left, just some ugly polluted ground where a good idea used to be.

And so I was very delighted at the idea of a Christmas Carol miniseries.

Tonally, in broad strokes, it is much darker than the Christmas Carol you’re used to. This is a new Christmas Carol for a new period in time, and it tries to bring a lot of the genuine problems of the Scrooges of our modern day and transport them back to Victorian England. It does not in any way try to shield you from the fact that Scrooge is a man who thinks of nothing but profit, not of any human cost, and it does not rest upon anyone’s previous affections for A Christmas Carol. In fact, it would prefer that you deposit them at the door: This is a moral ghost story, this is not some warm Christmas good time for the family.

And I would prefer it this way! Many of my most hated versions of this story become that way by making too much light of what is meant to be a moral fable. Or centers the story too much around Christmas itself, which it is not meant to REALLY be about. Of course, the very wealthy and those who prefer to be blind to their role in the suffering of others prefer the version of the story where the main problem is “Scrooge doesn’t like Christmas” and so I can see why they would consider this version a negative. I, however, am going to immediately find a copy of this one to keep. This is the way businessmen are. This is the way the very wealthy are.

The “thesis statement” of this show, which sets it apart from many other adaptations, is something Scrooge says early on in the movie, I think it happens within the first ten or fifteen minutes (bolding, obviously, is mine):

“Behold. One day of the year. They all grin and greet each other when every other day they walk by with their faces in their collars.

You know, it makes me very sad to see all the lies that comes as surely as the snow this time of year. How many Merry Christmases are meant, and how many are lies? To pretend on one day of the year that the human beast is not a human beast. That it is possible we can all be transformed.

But if it were so--if it were possible for so many mortals to look at the calendar and transform from wolf to lamb--then why not every day?

Instead of one day good, and the rest bad, why not have everyone grinning at each other all year, and have one day of the year where we are all beasts, and pass each other by? Why not turn it around?”

I mean, I heard this and was like, “Why are you booing him, he’s right,” because he is right. I have often found that one of my frustrations with the ways people engage with a Christmas Carol is they forget the “try to keep it all the year” part of it, and it has nothing to do with fucking trees and parties, it has to do with generosity and kindness.

And this show goes in on that! SO LITTLE of what the show engages with is about Christmas at all, it’s a narrative setup, a collective mythology used to enact a moral tale, and I absolutely love that they actually went on what I feel is the core of A Christmas Carol.

I’ve broken this down in NOT broad strokes but categories, to try and make the most sense of my thoughts on the show and why and how I think they work.

On the subject of the ghosts:

I absolutely love and adore the way they handle the ghost of Christmas Past. I am never sure what I’m getting into when I’m watching a version of this story because the ghosts are handled so many different ways, and I love MANY of them, but it’s one of the most tweaked with ideas in any version. And I see why! There’s so much you can do with them.

Christmas Past they handle by having him change depending on where Scrooge is in his life, and the implication throughout is that he changes into whatever it was that scrooge needed in that time of his life, whatever he was seeking. With Ali Baba, it was escape, with the businessman, it was business, and they did all this with great actual care, up to an including having different actors play the different versions of the ghost of Christmas past. I’ve seen something like this done a few times (and have always been very fond of it) but if I recall correctly this may be the first time I’ve actually seen them go to the length of hiring different actors.

The sheer mockery Christmas Past makes of him is worth the adaptation in and of itself--Christmas Past feels little for him, and I’m brought to mind the scene where his father comes home drunk, and Scrooge begs, in a moment of weakness, oh please not this night, and the Ghost simply says, ‘Why not this night?” I really quite like the less nostalgic tone they took with Christmas Past versus other versions.

Christmas Present I thought was a bit of a letdown at first, just having his dead sister be the ghost, but when I was rewatching it, I realized that I liked it quite a bit more than I had in my first watching. Present is often the “easy” ghost, generally the one that is given the most positive sort of framing, and it’s not that they remove the positive framing here with Lottie, but they do tone it down a bit, and make it quite a bit more somber to be with her because we cannot remove what Scrooge has done to these lives. There is much less of the “cheerful, noble poor” rhetoric so common in the older novels (and at the time far more revolutionary) and far more of the reckoning that Scrooge has caused so much misery, but people have found a way around it, because they understand the value of other human beings.

I particularly love the way she takes what he’s learned from Christmas Past, the way he’s seen how he is constantly aiming to discover what the currency of everything is with his horrid and cruel behavior, what things COST people, and dismantles it, shows him wha t a fucking fool he is, and when he says she’s mocking him, she simply tells him “You mock yourself, putting a value to things that have no price” and for the fiurst time ever, it seems like he’s really getting it.

To those who miss the over-the-top cheer of Christmas Present, I might ask: “Do you miss the fucking THRASHING he gives Scrooge in the novel when it is removed? (as it is often?) Or does that just sort of...fritter away for you?”

Christmas Future is basically often/always the one note ghost for me and that’s to be expected given that the character has no lines and is of an amorphous shape, which writing wise is a genius move because the future itself is amorphous and can always be changed. That is, in fact, one of the lessons of a Christmas Carol, is it never too late. But of course, in media driven by the dialogue, without much chance for internal patter, it can falter a bit, and I think this is about the same here.I have no trouble with how the ghost was done, in any way, but it does not, for example, twist the spirit into something terribly interesting in the way the otherwise forgettable “A Diva's Christmas Carol” does by making it into a “behind the music” episode.

On the subject of Ebenezer Scrooge:

Some people seem to be really rather upset that Ebenezer isn’t played as some bumbling old curmudgeon, but is instead a callously cruel businessman who thinks of nothing but the pursuit of money. One review I read while writing this, looking for things to respond to, described him as an ‘anti-hero’ which made me extremely concerned for the human being writing the review, as I don’t think the show in any way makes Scrooge into any kind of a hero. There are certainly versions that do that by way of making him “the cleverest person in the room” (even my beloved Scrooged is guilty of this, and Mickey’s a Christmas Carol is almost inexcusably so.) but this isn’t what the show is doing here. He is a miserable man, and he delights in making others miserable, he is a man so desperate to prove that every person in this world is as miserable as he is that he orders about the world to make it so.

If you see an anti-hero in him, I am far, far, more concerned about you than I am about anything else.

He is more like actual billionaires than any version I’ve seen. His cost cutting, his destruction. He is perversely cruel and sees human beings as playtoys. He echoes far more than any version I have seen, the true appetites of the rich, and maybe this is why this version shines so much for me, and why so many others dislike it. It cuts to the bone, this Scrooge.

This show goes harder than other versions in many respects, and one of those respects is in Ebenezer’s childhood. His father is cruel in the novella, but really only glancing so, we hear little of his childhood at all, other than his father sent him away, and his sister had to wait for years to ask for him back. We must remember something: Dickens was writing on a tight timeline compared to his other works. I have no idea if he would have expanded on Scrooge’s past himself or not, but I certainly know he did not have the time and space to do so in his normal fashion.

The show does a really interesting thing with Ebenezer, in that it does not allow a monster to grow from nothing. Most monsters do not. This is by no way an excuse--I think the show makes that fairly clear--but it is an explanation. His sister gives him a mouse, a stray mouse, for Christmas, dressed up with a little bell and ribbon from one of her toys, and Ebenezer loves it, and his father, drunk and impoverished, kills it. It’s an intense and horrifying scene, and as with many of the things in this show, in accomplishes this while showing nearly nothing. The entire scene happens in shadow, but you feel the fear of Ebenezer as a child, how it affects him to this day, how he begs for it not to be this night. The show makes even more clear how central this was to his willful callousness, his desire to never be hurt, by explaining that his father did this to “Warn me against unprofitable affections”

I am now, and have always been, a sucker for a bit of writing that can allow for a character to be a monster, and also give a seed to plant that monstrosity, without forgiving them. It can be a delicate thread to weave, even more so with the way that people take characters, that sort of knee-jerk desire for a character to be either monstrous or abused, when, it can be both. Having cruelty enacted upon you does not forgive cruelty to others. I feel like show does a fairly decent job with this, reminding Ebenezer that his hated father affected him far more than the love of his sister, Lottie, or any promise of love in the future. He has shut himself off from love, and while he cannot be blamed for the cruelties of his father or the way he essentially sold him to a pedophile for free schooling, it was Scrooge who decided that all this meant his only way forward was counting. Numbers as wealth as his only true love.

Scrooge even tries to pull a tumblr in this way, looking at the abuse and telling the Ghost, ‘This excuses me” as if he should be let entirely off the hook, AS A GROWN ASS ADULT, for what happened to him as a child. Non non! And the Ghost sides with me in this, telling him, “You only see what was done to you, and not what was done for you” and may I please frame that? I love that they looked at this out in the script and went, “Oh, I’m gonna close that up”

They do this a second time, but not in a tumblr way, more in a reddit way, when Scrooge protests that whatever else he did to Mary Crachit, the money he gave to mary saved Tim’s life, and so, “if you view virtue purely through the consequence of an action rather than the motivation for said action we have just witnessed my former self doing a good thing.” (Me, watching this: I’m Jewish, I don’t do that even slightly.) and as the Ghost of Christmas Past goes to leave, Scrooge asks if he is forgiven, and Christmas Past yells, “It’s not about your forgiveness!” I love that in so many ways, they tie up what a person might argue in Scrooge’s favor, but Scrooge can’t see that forgiveness is nothing and change is everything.

Making Scrooge a venture capitalist was, to me, an absolute banner move. A new villain for a new age. Don’t get me wrong, moneylender is now and always will be a fantastic villain, but venture capitalists have ruined many things you’ve loved TO THIS DAY. They buy troubled businesses, that could be saved, and instead of trying to turn them around, they sell them for parts, get the last scrap of meat off them, and then crush them. I can think of three businesses this has happened to that I know of, off the top of my head, in my lifetime: Toys R Us, Cabelas, and Lucky’s. All could have been saved, some of them (Lucky’s) fairly easily. But that isn’t what people like Scrooge do.

The way they have him taken into the mine, to see what the cost cutting does to people, or the factory, burning and killing so many people, it allows us to really dwell in the HUMAN cost in a way that many versions shy away from outside of the Crachits. I think it’s very easy to go “Cutting costs hurt workers” but we often don’t really dwell in that, especially considering SHIT LIKE THIS IS STILL HAPPENING IN THE WORLD TODAY. Go look up conditions in Bangladeshi factories, how much do we really deserve H&M, you know?

A personal touch I very much loved: Scrooge cares about animals far more than people. I LOVE this is a fucking villainy trait. I think we all know that person! I hate that person! And I adore so much when Scrooge says, down in the mine that is about to kill workers, some of whom are children, that he tried not to think about the ponies, and the Ghost of Christmas Past basically goes: “Are you SHITTING ME? Did you never care about the MEN down here?” while also allowing for the fact that his covering up a cold horse in London is the only reason the ghosts believed there was something good in him at all.

On the Crachits:

Bob:

The first time I watched this, I was like, “Man, do I even like Bob in this?” because he’s so different from the usual portrayal of Bob Crachit as meek and mild. But upon my second watching I realized I was really only reacting to the difference in tone for Bob, and that I very much like that he is a simmering pot of resentment and hatred, serving under a terrible fucking boss who makes money hand over fist while he busts ass with no benefits or help for very little pay. WOW DOESN’T THAT SEEM RELEVANT TO OUR TIMES?

So yes, I very much changed my mind (this is why rewatching things is sometimes helpful for me) on the subject of Bob, and I think in this case he makes such a better standin for the average worker, for the way the system chews us up and spits us out and oh my god I want to give every rich boss I ever had Covid right now.

Mary:

Mary Crachit becomes a main character in this version of the story and I am absolutely taken with it. The way she does whatever it is she has to for her family, the way she is willing to lie and degrade herself in order to do so, up to and including being willing have sex with Scrooge (it does not actually happen, but the scene plays out) in order to save and protect her family, and never tell them where she got the money to save Tim’s life.

She lies to Bob about this! Forever! I struggled with where I wanted to put this because I talk more about it in relation to the storyline and the scene itself below, but I decided just to leave it with Mary herself, and the way that she really does make massive sacrifices in order to protect everyone in her family. She bears the shame and the indignity of what was done to her, what she chose to do to save Tim, without any regard for herself. Mary is the rock of the family so much more than Bob is in this telling.

She’s also inadvertently the one who saves Scrooge, wishing for and calling upon the spirits to show him what a piece of shit he is.

Tim:

Tiny Tim is no less a narrative device here than he is in other versions--that’s simply the function of TIny Tim. He’s the “puppy” of the story and we kill him off in order to tweak heartstrings and encourage changed behavior. They do make his disability more clearly defined in this one, and so things make a little bit more sense than they tend to in the original framing.

I also really quite loved the effect with him breaking through the ice, and how Scrooge has to see it from below, and watch it, and see TIm’s spirit and beg him himself not to die, but to stay with his parents, to no avail, I thought it was a clever take on something we’ve seen done over and over again.

Broader story changes:

The genuine spookiness.

This is not the only version of Christmas Carol I’ve seen that attempts to create a genuine sense of fear and creepiness out of the subject material, and it’s not even the one that I think is the scariest, but I do think it does a really excellent job of reminding you that this is a ghost story. There are good little details here and there, particularly in the lead up to Jacob’s visit, that allow for a genuine sense of fear, or at the very least the understanding of Ebenezer’s fear.

Outside of the doorknob incident, we also have the two coins, the exact same years as the ones Scrooge put over Marley’s eyes, drop down from the fireplace. This not only a good moment of spookiness that is difficult for Scrooge to explain away later, but it also gives us an early introduction to his obsession with numbers.

But my favorite comes after Bob leaves for the day, and on Scrooge’s ledger he sees scrawled, by no one or nothing that he knows, “PREPARE YE,” that would be enough in itself, ut then we have a lovely moment that really encapsulates the capacity for self-delusion. Scrooge looks at the clock, and asks the clock to make it four, because he refuses to leave his office early, but he desperately wants to leave. He changes the watch he carries, and then the world goes into shadow, and all of a sudden the clock chimes four. DId time move? WHo can know, but it unsettles Scrooge enough. It isn’t only creepy, either, but is a moment to show that Scrooge will not bend himself by leaving early, but instead he will remake the world as he sees it. He will change the watch and make it lie, and thus change the world.

The human cost of industry.

One of the greatest things I think this adaptation does, and I’m not going to go too far into here because I go into it all over the place in this look at the series, is taking into account the human cost of industry. I don’t even mean the scenes in the mines, or the scene with the factory on fire, although of course those too. I mean even scenes like where a man has just died, and they are pressing him to sell the factory at half of what it’s worth, only to immediately fire all the workers and sell off the factory for parts not but a day later. To flip it into immediate profit.

And we’re shown that he remembers nothing but the money he made off of all of it--the Ghost of Christmas Past has little effect on him, except as stage setting--and he runs off the numbers, remembering the profit he made of every single year, forgetting the workers, forgetting the people, forgetting what that money COST him, cost everyone.

When we see Scrooge as moneylender in a lot of other adaptations, it’s easy to forget that making a lot of money usually has a lot of human cost. People of good character often say, ‘If I were a billionaire” but if you are a person of good character, you never become a billionaire. What it takes to become a billionaire is the coldness, the selfishness, to not allow your rising tide to lift other boats, but to hoard, and to keep. There are no good billionaires.

Women are given shit to do in this version.

For all I love the original novella, and I do, it is a product of its time, and because it is a product of its time, the women are mostly accessories to the story. Not so with this version, which has really tried to course correct that little problem from the original.

With Lottie, not only to they have her save her brother, but then we have her become the ghost of Christmas Present, which I thik works really well as she seems to be the one person in his life Scrooge actually cared for and valued. He, a man who believed in nothing but money, paid for her funeral, and it’s a bit implied that with her death the last light of humanity went out of him. She saves Scrooge not once, but twice, when her sole job in the novella is essentially to show up at the school.

I talk about Mary Crachit in her own section, so I’m not going to go into it too much here, but this version made her a goddamn main character, and I love it. I think that opens up this story for so many things and ideas that I didn’t even know I wanted but clearly did, all the different expressions of love, some of which are not nice or warm. Mary is a driver of the story far more than Bob is in this version, and I absolutely love it.

The love inherent in sacrifice, and Scrooge’s blindness to it.

One major SWERVE this story takes is with the subject of Mary Crachit. Where, in the novella, she hates Ebenezer because he’s a fucking dick and that’s about the beginning and the end of it, in this miniseries, she hates him because he was so unbelieveably callously cruel. He used her for his own disgusting appetites, he used her to prove that all human decency has a cost.

It, like the mouse scene, is horrifying and uncomfortable, and I am very fond of it. It could have gone full rape no stars, but it doesn’t do that. It has Scrooge humiliate her, make it known that she was ready to do this, have her removed her clothes and stand before him, clutching the stays to herself. He doesn’t have sex with her, doesn’t sexually assualt her, tells her he isn’t even interested in that. Instead he picks apart, moment by moment, that she is a good Christian woman, that she loves her husband, that she considers herself faithful, and she is willing to sell herself for the thirty pounds (That’s around 4,700 USD today). It doesn’t matter that she’s doing it because her son needs immediate medical care, and Scrooge refused her offer of a loan as a “poor investment.” It’s terrifying, it’s humiliating, and it’s sadder yet because people with money are LIKE THIS. I could see this happening now, with little trouble. And the scene makes us sit with that cruelty without making it graphic, and in some ways I think that makes it worse, as it should be.

But, tying this to the scene where Lottie, without his knowledge, comes to get him and threatens to kill the man who is sexually abusing Ebenezer if he so much as tries to come after them, for all he sees, he does not see the love in this act. He does not see what it must have taken Lottie, after their father finally left them, to take up and come to get him, to break him out of that horrible place. He only sees that he was the victim here. In the same way, he cannot see the love inherent in Mary’s act. What it must take for her to lay down every single thing that she believes in, because above all else, she wants to save her son.

Which goes back to what I quoted at the beginning, a line I really loved for the sheer selfish cruelty of it: “ A gift is a debt, unwritten but implied.” So much of Scrooge’s ‘redemption’ in this version comes out his ability to learn that what his father says is in no way true. Lottie gave him the gift of freedom without asking anything of him, ever, so long as he lived, never even told him what she’d done. Mary never looks upon Tim with even the slightest bit of resentment for what she had to do to save his life.

Which sort of leads me to my next bit, which is not so much a different section as a corollary to this one: Destruction as a form of love. I could write a 2,000 word essay on this in and of itself, but this is already more than 5,000 words long, so I am not going to do that.

Leading off from the fact that Mary breaks her marriage vows and her vows to herself in order to save Tim, she also chooses to lie about it for the rest of her given life. She has no idea that a situation is going to come down where she’s going to have to tell Bob, she simply chooses, instead to bear her shame and hurt and terror alone, on some hand I’m sure because she thinks Bob will hate her but also because she knows that it will make Bob feel all the more preyed upon, that nothing in his life can be without the evil touch of Scrooge.

And so, she chooses this tearing, this negative thing, but she chooses it out of love, and much like when we see Lottie “like a highwayman” threaten to kill the man that hurt Scrooge, we learn that not all love is a beautiful and warm thing, and sometimes love is difficult and unlikeable and hard. Sometimes there is love to be had in the things of shadow, as well.

And in the end, when Scrooge destroys the ice sating rink so that Tim can’t fall through, that’s the idea that he can finally encompass this, that his love is total now, and it’s not just “scrooge gave everyone money” but SCROOGE LEARNED TO DESTROY THAT WHICH WAS TERRIBLE.

Which leads me to:

THE ENDING:

Let’s talk about all the things they change in the ending because there are a lot of them and I fully expected to hate that but it was very much that snake comic where it goes “I don’t like that thing”...”Oh no I love it.”

Scrooge’s ‘redemption’ doesn’t come out of him wishing that he wasn’t the one to die, or wish that everyone would not hate him so much and immediately forget him, but out of the ida that it doesn’t matter what happens to him so long as Tim is allowed to live. He finally lets go of that massive selfishness which allowed him to profit so very much, and to give himself over to whatever it is, to be tortured, to not be forgiven.

Because he knows he doesn’t deserve forgiveness, that he does not deserve redemption. He REFUSES redemption, he says he refuses to change because he refuses redemption, he refuses to not allow himself to be punished. “If redemption were to result in some kind of forgiveness than I do not want it” He finally owns his shit, because a large part of the point this miniseries is trying to drive home is that YOU are responsible for YOU, and no amount of excuse can let stand the horrible things we might do, or the things we let pass us by. I’m very into this, in a shock to literally no one.

The sign that he can be saved is that he does not wish to be saved at all.

And he does more, and better, than in the original, he gives Bob 500 pounds, yes, but also encourages him to take the better job he’s been offered, because Scrooge, in a true move of understanding what his greater evil is, is closing the entire company down, He is stopping the machine of destruction entirely instead of giving money to whoever he finds deserving and letting those he does not be chomped up by the machine. It’s a far greater sacrifice, a far more meaningful turnaround, than any version I’ce seen before.

Mary tells him it will not buy forgiveness, and he says, yes, good, I won’t trouble you. I didn’t know how badly I wanted an ending like this until I saw it before me, but it was everything I had ever wanted from this.

And then we, the viewing audience, all get called out at the very end, and it made a chill run down my spine and tears spring to my eyes in a way that really rarely happens to me but happens to me most when I feel “got” for lack of a better term.

Mary is looking out the window, and says “Sprits, Past, Present, and Future. There is still much to do.”

And then she looks directly at us. And the screen goes black. We are left not saying “Oh wow gee willickers, that Scrooge guy sure was nasty BUT” and instead go away with, “How have I been Scrooge in my daily life? How can I change?”and for me it was harrowing in the way I think all viewings and readings of A Christmas Carol should be, that we should always come away with the idea that we could be doing a better job, that some cruel Ebenezer waits inside all of us and we must constantly be working to root him out.

Very minor loves:

The idea that the greatst torture is to be locked in one’s coffin, and never allowed to die, and how one does not really require a hell in itself, as one has been conventiently provided to each man, women and child who requires it. Really clever. What is interesting in that, however, is that the show is somewhat harder on Marley. In the novella, he is driven to help Scrooge by way of their past friendship, by some humanity he’s found in death toward his old friend. In this, it’s essentially only to escape this hell.

Changing, “If they’re going to die, they’d better do it! And decrease the surplus population” to the very simple “then let them die” is something I didn’t expect to like--on the whole I am rather attached to the original line, but I think with the way they are trying to play Scrooge as more of a straight up villain and make this whole thing less of a ‘charming Christmas tale’ it really works.

I love the bit with Christmas past when they use the zoopraxiscope thing to project the images, and it’s his hat. There’s nothing deep about it, I just really like it as a touch.

People can be irredeemable, in their way: Lottie and Ebenezer’s father doesn’t turn kinder, the way he does in the novella, but just leaves, and so Lottie is free to bring him home. There’s no redemption for him. (I actually think this is really weakly handled in the novella despite my loving it)

I unfortunately have less talent for talking about visual stylings, but one thing I noticed within this movie is that it’s filmed ina lot of blues and greys, underscoring the whole darker tone of the story, and I really appreciated it.

Thank you for this fucking line, I cherished it and it’s place in the story so very fucking much: “Given my time again, I would not reduce the expenditure on timber. *long pause* Given the time again, I would not be myself.” It’s hard to get across in writing, when one is not turning their hand to it literarily, but it’s really this beautiful admission of guilt without being entirely some sobbing ridiculousness.

HIS THING WITH HORSES GETS EXPLAINED BY THE NARRATIVE THANK YOU OH MY GOD. I was so sure this was just going to be a sidenote thing but they remembered to follow up and I was very proud in that moment.

“Everything in life is a lesson if you care to learn” which I should have tattooed on my body as it is my exact framework of thought.

The observation of the Crachits and just that, “no matter what, nothing sinks them” was just something I enjoyed. (and am stealing)

I fucking loled when Ebenezer is excitedly gesturing to the Crachits after his new life, and looks at Martha and goes “whoever you are”

What I could have done without:

There are always MINOR nitpicks with any version, but one thing I’ll say that I considered rather major, and did not care for in the slightest, was all the dick-fucking around in the spirit realm with Marley. We could have buttoned that up right quick, and we didn’t, and there’s a huge gap in my notes where I’m just like, “Ah okay! I guess….we’re still here?” I think some of the ideas were sound but the execution was poor.

Sometimes I felt like the writing beat me over the head with the morality of what was going on but then I read reviews of it and was like, “Ah okay, I suppose these people are why that exists” so while for me I would like a bit more subtlety I suppose I understand why sometimes there cannot be.

IN CONCLUSION, AFTER MORE THAN 6,000 WORDS: I really quite liked this version of A Christmas Carol. It’s not a children’s version by any stretch of the imagination, but I don’t think a Christmas Carol is meant to be. I definitely will be coming back to this one, which makes it only one of a handful. It was a good recommendation for me, when I wasn’t sure I was going to watch it in the first place--there are so many versions of CC that I am still trying to get through--and I found that I really enjoyed it.

The focus on the morality of the situation and making great pains to decouple it from the holiday itself made this a much-needed refresher of the story for me that keeps more to what I think the original was GOING for (Source: literally all of Dickens’ writing on poverty) than the way it’s been twisted by our Capitalist Christmas Culture. I loved that the women were given more to do and an equal hand in the story, and there were a number of really lovely lines that will stick with me.

#Doc watches TV #doc watches things

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mypearchive · 4 years

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PHILIP ETTINGER  in HBO Series I Know This Much Is True

 PHOTOGRAPHY Mark Squires FASHION EDITOR Deborah Ferguson  Interview by Sydney Nash

 Philip Ettinger is an American actor, whose credits include starring alongside Ethan Hawke and Amanda Seyfried in “First Reformed” and “The Evening Hour,” which debuted at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. Ettinger’s most recent project is HBO’s “I Know This Much is True,” helmed by director Derek Cianfrance and starring Mark Ruffalo. Based on Wally Lamb’s acclaimed novel by the same name, it tells the story of the complicated relationship of two brothers (twins), one of which lives with paranoid schizophrenia. Ruffalo stars as the older iteration of the twins, while Ettinger inhabits the two characters in their youth. ContentMode spoke to the actor about the limited series and arguably, his best performance yet.

 Q: Before we dive into questions about I Know This Much Is True, I must first say, bravo. This show is visceral, heart-wrenching, and achingly beautiful. It was a very emotional experience watching, I must say. I’m curious as to the type of feedback you’ve been hearing from viewers and the people around you about the show.

 A: Thanks for saying that. This project is so close to my heart. It felt super emotional shooting it… it’s been really special. You know we’re going through such a fucking crazy time right now. You make a thing and have that whole experience of shooting it, and then you never really know how it might connect in the time of when it’s finally released. When I’m working on something, I’m so much in the state of not even thinking of it as being a product. Then, when it’s time for it to come out, it’s a bit of a mind fuck and scary. And this in particular was such a vulnerable experience. Everyone gave so much of their heart to it. It’s being released in a really crazy and heavy time, and the show deals with a lot of real and heavy things. But what’s been amazing is the people who have reached out to me to tell me how important it’s been to them. And how much of an emotional balm it’s been. People have vulnerably shared with me how this show has made them feel less alone in their own unique situations and emotions. Honestly, it’s been fucking beautiful to see how much we all can relate and share in the really difficult work of being a human being.

 We’re all connected. It’s been a nice reminder for me personally in this isolating time of quarantine.

 Q: Tell me about how this role came about. I know you’ve been a long admirer of Mark Ruffalo’s work, so this must have been a dream project.

 A: The whole thing just feels kind of kismet. One day, I get a random email from a friend of mine who was going in to audition for young Dessa (younger Kathryn Hahn). This was before I really knew anything about it. She forwarded me her appointment with the script and said, “You should be young Dominick/Thomas.” All of young Dessa’s scenes were with young Dominick/Thomas, so I was able to see what it was like.

 I’ve always looked up to Mark and have been compared to him in the past. I even wrote him a letter when I was in acting school and doing This Is Our Youth, which was the play he did in New York, and I expressed to him how much I connect to his work. He was doing Awake and Sing! on Broadway at the time and I went to see the play and gave him the letter. On top of that, I grew up with a brother who dealt with schizophrenic symptoms. I felt a really strong purpose to tell this story as real and accurately as possible. It’s rare when it happens, but sometimes things come along where it’s much deeper than it just being a job. The purpose for doing it is so strong and instinctual that I’m able to move through any fears or insecurities to do it. I went into this audition with a really strong sense that I was the person who was meant to help tell this story.

 Q: Did you and Mark ever prep for the role together? I’ve read that you and him took a long walk around the Upper West Side before shooting started.

 A: Yeah we did. The way it worked was Mark shot all of Dominick first and then took a month and a half off to gain about 50 pounds in order to play Thomas. During that time off is when I shot most of my stuff. We would text back and forth with ideas and before shooting began we hung out and read each other’s scenes together. Then Mark went off to shoot his Dominick side. Derek Cianfrance our director showed me a bunch of Mark’s dailies for me to kind of get a sense of what Mark was doing with Dominick, but when it came to Thomas, I was the first one to introduce what he’d be like. It was fucking scary because I wanted to be as instinctual as possible and to make my own unique choices. At the same time, I didn’t want to paint Mark into a corner because he’d have to evolve whatever I was doing into older Thomas.

About a week before I went to shoot, I met Mark on the Upper West Side at a diner. We talked for hours. I had been waiting in the wings for months, getting ready to take over when he took his break. I can be a pretty obsessive thinker, so at that point, I was pretty much bursting holding these two distinctly different characters inside of me, ready to express myself and let my Dominick and Thomas out. At the same time, I was absolutely terrified because the thing I’d been obsessing about and literally having intense symbolic dreams about was finally going to happen. Mark encouraged me to make it my own, and on the way out of the diner, I started to tell him about these crazy and intense dreams I was having that were kind of informing me who these guys were. He said, “I’ve been having dreams too. Let’s take a walk,” and then we just walked like 50 city blocks. We were just meshing our energies, ideas and physicalities, as well as sharing stories and quickly connecting on a really vulnerable level to each other. We were having very similar dreams. It was crazy and beautiful and a night I’ll always remember. Talking about it now makes me yearn to get back into more collaborative experiences again.

 Q: If you don’t mind me asking, how emotionally intense was performing the roles of both Dominick and Thomas? Did you find one character more challenging than the other and were you able to separate the two performances, or were they always informing the other?

A: It’s hard to really describe it using words. The whole thing was one big instinctual and emotional experiment. It was kind of impossible to anticipate the best way to make it all work.

First day was completely trial and error. Mark shot each character separately with a lot of time apart, but I was having to do every scene going back and forth. The whole thing was very out of body and cathartic. Or more like in my body and out of my head.

 It’s interesting, I’ve been doing therapy in quarantine and have worked a bit with childhood regression exercises and going back to a time when I was four or five. I’ll go back on impulse and really connect to the feelings I was feeling without too much awareness of social rules and insecurities and ideas of how I needed to be and act. Then, doing the same thing, but going back to the thirteen year old version of me, who at that point had been knocked around a bit and was very insecure and shut down and scared and had less trust and freedom of emotion. Both of them are very alive inside of me. Shooting every scene, I’d be Dominick and feel really repressed and kind of locked up and angry and insecure in my feelings. Then when I’d switch over to Thomas, I got to rip off the shield and filter that I’ve created to personally protect myself in my life and just feel my feelings and pain and fear and anger and fully be on my impulse in a safe environment. It was freeing and painful and blissful, and all of the feelings. I gave myself permission not to judge myself. Then, I’d go back into Dominick and the shield went back up. It was a lot of back and forth of that.

 Honestly, it’s impossible to really explain it in retrospect. It was like one giant therapeutic experiment. It definitely changed me and gave me some different perspectives.

 Q: Did you ever feel like your acting influenced Mark’s performance or vice versa?

 A: It felt like one ongoing collaboration. We were taking from each other from the preparation through the shooting. But there was an ease to it all, which just shows how generous Mark is as a human being and artist. He didn’t have to invite me in the way he did. I’m very grateful for that.

 Q: What was it like working with director Derek Cianfrance? Did Derek allow you to bring your own experiences and POV to your characters?

 A: Derek is my emotional soul brother. The guy has so much fucking heart and just sets up an atmosphere of trust and love and challenges you to go deeper than any ideas you may have and to find the truth of every moment. He wants you to bring all of your heart and soul to the part. He’s done so much work and has thought so deeply about the characters and the scenes, but then challenges and almost expects you to surprise him. It’s all about, as he says, ‘trying to capture Halley’s Comet in every scene.’ Something that’s straight from impulse and truth and surprising and spontaneous and can never be exactly recreated. It’s all a big experiment and diving into the truth of every dynamic and relationship.

That’s exactly the way I love to work, so it was just a fucking dream to play like that. 

But in order to work at that level, you need to have such trust in the leader and it needs to be such a safe environment. With Derek, I just felt so safe.

 Q: Tell me a little bit about how filming two characters on-screen at the same time worked. How much of what the audience sees when Dominick and Thomas are together is CGI?

 A: It’s crazy. The editing is incredible. Other than a few connecting shots, many of the scenes the two brothers are never in the same shot together. I think Derek wanted to make it feel as natural and un-CGI as possible, so he relied on the performances to connect the dots. The response has been that it feels pretty seamless and not a distraction, which is great to hear. We all definitely tried to avoid the trick of it all and really cared about making each brother his own three dimensional being.

 Q: The show was shot on film as compared to digitally. What’s the difference that shooting on film makes to the final product and the audience experience?

 A: It’s awesome. It was my first time shooting on film. There’s a heightened intensity to it all, because there’s a limited amount of time before the film rolls out. It’s exciting. I tend to work best and am able to commit more when adrenaline is a little higher and there’s a little more pressure. There’s also something more tactile about it all. It feels more activated and felt like we were shooting a movie instead of a TV show.

 Q: I’ve read in other interviews where you’ve spoken about how your relationship with your own brother (who has a history with schizophrenic symptoms) influenced your performance. Can you tell me a little bit about this (if you don’t mind sharing)? How important was authenticity to you?

 A: My brother is doing great now. It’s amazing. But there was a long time when I was growing up where he was suffering. I watched him struggle through a lot of thoughts and emotions inside of his head. On the flip side, he was probably the most honest, empathetic and connected-to-the-energy-around-him person that I knew. And has deeply affected how I see things in a really special way. I also watched my parents try and understand and protect and deal with it and help. And do the best that they possibly could under the circumstances. They were amazing. But I also watched them struggle and make questionable decisions in order to help in the only ways they knew how. I was also having my own experience.

 What was so important to me about this show was to be able to express all sides of the situation and the nuance to it all. Often, when there’s mental illness in a family, everyone is doing the best that they can with the tools that they have. Sometimes the “crazy” one is the most tapped in and actually present and intuitive and available. Sometimes the ones, who on the surface have their shit together, have no idea what they are doing.

 I think this was a way for me to express myself and better understand what repressed feelings I had having a brother with mental illness. One thing’s for certain: I don’t think anyone involved was interested in anything but navigating the truths and realities of these situations.

 Q: Based on your own experiences with your brother, the director Derek added in a scene to one of the episodes. Can you elaborate on what this scene was?

 A: Yeah, I told Derek a bunch of stories about me and my brother. There was a period of time when he was around 22 and in the midst of a mental break. I was around 9, and we shared a room. Some of the stories were scary, but a lot of them were really funny and beautiful. I observed my brother be so present and tapped in to the energy and people around him. Sometimes his thoughts would get away from him, but almost always, the impulse of the thought and the intuition he would have was so on point. It made me feel like he was often more present and truthful and sane than so many other people around me who seemed to be repressing, overlooking and complying to the rules of society and the pressures of fitting in and saying and doing the right and popular thing. I felt like he really took me in and saw me better than anyone else.

 I told Derek about how often my brother’s energy felt so expansive and truthful to his feelings that it would be infectious to the people around him and magical to me. And then Derek added a scene in episode 4 where Thomas is feeling a lot of emotions and the best way he’s able to express himself is through unadulterated dance. It’s a moment that Dominick watches on and knows he’d never be able to be so free in his emotions to express himself like that. [Derek] told me he added that scene inspired by the stories I told him about my brother.

 Q: At its core, the show is about the relationship between two brothers, but the show touches on so many different enduring themes. What about the story speaks most strongly to you?

 A: We’re all trying to get through life in the best ways that we know how. We all have unique family situations, life expectations, and struggles and pains on different levels. The show and Wally Lamb’s novel just touches on what it’s like to be human and the possibility for growth and change when it may feel like it’s impossible. As he says, “But what are our stories if not the mirrors we hold up to our fears.” And another quote that seems to resonate more than ever: “With destructions comes renovations.”

 Q: You must be very proud of this show and the reception it’s receiving. How did you feel seeing the finished product?

 A: It feels a little surreal to watch. It’s hard for me to fully take in my own stuff or to judge it good and bad, but what I will say is that there’s so much heart in the show and I’m forever proud and grateful to be a part of it. And to watch Mark and Rosie and Kathryn and John and Melissa and Archie and everyone else and feel so connected to them. And to have my family watch it and have it inspire new conversations between us. It feels very healing in a lot of ways.

 Q: Moving forward, what types of roles are you hoping to pursue? What’s the most important aspect of a project to you?

 A: I don’t really know. I want to continue to work with people who inspire me and to feel a purpose with what I’m doing beyond ego and expectation. And to keep doing stuff that really scares me and to ultimately just find things that will help me evolve and gain some different perspectives. To continue to do things that make me feel connected and out of my own head.

I’ve been lucky to be a part of a few things where everyone involved is connected and on the same page and doing it for the right reasons, and the material is strong and every once in a while, when all those stars are aligned you can have moments of transcendence absent of ego and fear and judgement and you’re just riding on your impulse and intuition and heart. I want to keep chasing that.

 Q: With the world in the midst of a pandemic and social unrest, what are you most hopeful for?

 A: How connected we all really are even though the world feels divided right now. There’s so much pain and fear and anger right now, but there’s also a lot of change happening. And beauty. If there’s any silver lining to all of this loss, pain and suffering, I think it’s that it’s forced us to be more present with our families and loved ones. And maybe break some habits that we’d never be able to break on our own. And slowed things down a bit. And forced us all to look inward and to take a pause from all the fast and constant external validation so many of us think we want or need. I’ve witnessed thousands of people coming together to support each other and to stand up to injustice. This time has been traumatic on many levels for everyone, and I’m sure there will be long term effects of that, but also I’m excited to see the positive effects and positive changes this time may cause. In a way, it felt like we needed a bit of a reset and recalibration to really make some changes.

Quick Qs

 Q: If you weren’t an actor, what would you be?

A: Maybe a therapist? I’m endlessly fascinated in why people do what they do and how they do it. And don’t do things. And why. And the relationship between our conscious and unconscious bodies and minds. And the potential of evolving our thought patterns past or through our blocks and pain and traumas. I’ve also spent a lot of time working one-on-one with autistic kids and adults, so maybe that. Something to do with human behavior and connection and growth and expression. Or if I was taller and more athletically gifted, it would be pretty damn cool to be an NBA basketball player.

 Q: Role model?

 A: Literally anyone who’s able to get through life with continued kindness, open-heartedness, positivity and evolution.

Q: Pet peeve?

A: People giving advice to other people based on what they would want or how they would act or react, instead of taking in the other person’s perspective.

Q: Most slept-on movie?

 A: This is not particularly slept on, but this conversation and question is making me think of The Devil and Daniel Johnston.

 Q: The last thing you binged?

 A: I’m a novice TV watcher. This past year and during quarantine is the first time I’ve really caught up on shows. Recently I’ve gone through Mad Men, The Affair – Maura Tierney’s so good in that. I just watched Normal People. I thought Paul Mescal was such a subtle and good actor in that. Oh, and In Treatment. I love In Treatment. I just heard that they may be bringing it back, which is exciting to hear. The nuances of two people in a room talking for a long time really does it for me.

 Q: Dream role?

 A: Hamlet? Even though that scares the shit out of me and seems to be a cliche’d answer for an actor my age.

Q: What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

 A: To try easier. It’s not necessarily the amount of time spent working, but more the quality and headspace of that time.  Also, to stop trying to control the outcome of what and how I think I want something to go. Because guaranteed it won’t go exactly as planned and trying to force what I think is the best thing is quantifying and limiting the possibilities of what it could be.  And something that I saved that Mark actually said to me:  Hang tough, stay real, make your shots count when you get them and no matter what, keep moving. Just keep moving.

 _______________________________________________ 

For remaining photographs from the Content Mode article, scroll down to the next post.

 (I am archiving this entire article here, because I have no idea whether or not the Content Mode site will continue to host the Ettinger interview in the future, as more is published there in time. No copyright infringement is intended.)

#philip ettinger #i know this much is true #iktmit #mark ruffalo #derek cianfrance #first reformed

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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1046.

Do you ever find yourself worrying about things that probably won't happen? >> The thing is, the things I worry about are things that can happen. I know because I’ve already experienced those things happening. It’s the likelihood of the thing happening that may or may not be skewed in my imagination, not the thing itself.

Has your imagination ever made it hard for you to sleep? >> I don’t think so.

Have you ever had a weird dream and obsessed over what it might mean? >> I’ve had plenty of weird dreams, but I didn’t obsess over their possible meaning.

Or do you usually forget about your dreams? >> Nowadays, yeah, I don’t remember my dreams too consistently.

Do you know your heritage? If not, would you ever try one of those DNA kits? >> I know enough, I suppose. I would definitely not do one of those DNA kits, for multiple reasons.

Which languages can you speak? >> Only English with any fluency.

Which language do you speak the most and why? >> ---

Which languages do you wish you were fluent in? >> ---

With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or subtitles? >> I greatly prefer subs. I like listening to different languages. Plus, I find that a lot of the times, the dub actors don’t match up well in my opinion.

Which cuisine do you like the least? >> ---

Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? >> Absolutely.

Which type of chocolate do you like best? >> I only eat dark chocolate.

Do you have a favorite kind of dog? >> Pit bulls, I guess, but I really just like dogs period.

Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? >> I would not.

Do any of your favorite musicians ever write music for/with other artists? >> I mean, probably.

What is your favorite collaboration between two different musicians? >> I can’t think of a favourite collaboration.

Who are your favorite songwriters? >> I don’t have any.

Do you like any of those oldies groups (like the Four Seasons)? >> Yep. I grew up listening to them and I still love a lot of that music.

Do you know who Bernie Taupin is? >> He writes with Elton John, don’t he? They’re associated somehow, anyway.

What are your favorite one-hit wonders? >> Meh.

What celebrities, if any, have you seen naked? >> I mean, whichever ones did nude scenes in movies I’ve seen.

Have you ever seen anybody naked by accident? >> Not necessarily by accident, just... not by my consent. Living in shelters, you see a lot you don’t necessarily want to see.

Have you ever wondered what somebody looks like naked? >> In an idly musing sense, sure.

Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? >> When I was younger.

Have you ever changed your clothes in the car? >> I don’t think so, but maybe.

About how quickly does your hair grow? >> Too quickly for my liking, considering how often I have to buzz it.

Do you have to/choose to shave anything unusual? >> No.

Do you groom (wax, pluck, or thread) your eyebrows? >> No.

Most unusual thing you have worn in public? >> I don’t know?

If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? >> I don’t have any preferred brands.

Do you use flavored lip balm? What about tinted lip balm? >> Nope, just regular coconut-oil lip balm, thanks.

What is your favorite swear word? >> ---

Are you afraid of fireworks or other loud noises? >> I’m not afraid of them, I just have sensory issues and an exaggerated startle reflex. My responses are similar to fear responses, though, so it’s all the same shit at the end of the day, I guess.

Do you make your own iced tea, or buy it in jugs/bottles? >> I buy bottled iced tea.

Have you ever made sun tea? >> No.

Do you use sugar or honey to sweeten your tea? >> I use honey sometimes, but most of the time I drink it as-is.

Do you ever put milk in your tea? >> Not usually. It’s good in chai, but I just never think about it.

Do you prefer powdered or liquid coffee creamer? >> ---

Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? >> ---

Did you have to wear a uniform for gym class? >> ---

Did you have to take showers after gym before going to your next class? >> ---

Were you in any extracurricular activities or clubs in high school? >> ---

Have you ever picked up and kept a rock because it caught your eye? >> Yeah.

Have you attended any rock (literal rocks, not music, lol) shows? >> No.

Have you ever laughed at a scene (TV/film) that wasn't meant to be funny? >> Oh, absolutely.

Do you think they should make a movie about Hatshepsut? >> I don’t have an opinion on this.

Do you think books are better adapted as movies or TV series? >> I think TV series are better if you want to actually delve into more of the book’s content.

Any great books you would recommend? >> ---

Any great movies or TV series you would recommend? >> ---

Were you disappointed with Fox's version of the Rocky Horror Show? >> I don’t care about Rocky Horror.

Have you ever seen the original Kinky Boots movie? What about the musical? >> Never seen either.

Have you seen any Hannibal movies other than The Silence of the Lambs? >> I’ve seen Red Dragon, Hannibal, and Hannibal Rising.

Have you read any of the Hannibal novels? >> Not yet. I’ve considered reading Red Dragon, since Francis Dolarhyde is my fave, but eh. Maybe one day.

Do you like any Indie movies? >> I mean, yes.

Have there been any movies you had fond memories of, but upon a rewatch didn't like as well? >> Absolutely. Tastes and needs evolve over time.

Do you like to go to the movies alone? >> I do, I love it. I especially love it when I go to a weekday matinee a couple of weeks after a movie’s premiere and the theater is empty of anyone save me. It’s the best feeling. I had so much fun watching Venom in an empty theater :)

When you watch movies/TV with people, do you find yourself making sarcastic remarks to each other? >> Well, that’d depend on the people, I guess. And what kind of mood I’m in. And what the movie/TV show even was.

Have you ever dried down any flowers to keep them? >> No.

What is your favorite thing that you have made by yourself? >> ---

Do you like your natural accent (everybody has one)? >> I’m fine with how I speak.

What accents do you find most pleasant? >> ---

Does it bother you when an actor in a musician biopic lip-syncs to a recording of the original artist, or is it better that way? >> I don’t have an opinion about this.

Have you ever read about Dennis Nilsen? >> No.

Do you ever go on murderpedia.org to read about murderers? >> No.

Have you ever read about the Black Dahlia? >> No.

Any other unsolved crimes you find fascinating? >> No, that’s not really something I’m interested in (although I don’t mind hearing other people talk about it).

Do you care what color your socks are? >> Of course I care.

What about your underwear? >> Yes. I won’t wear most colours of underwear.

What part of a man's body do you find most attractive? >> ---

What part of a woman's body do you find most attractive? >> ---

Do you think guys look good in makeup? >> ---

Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? >> I don’t use them. They mostly seem like sensory hell to me.

Have you ever had an asymmetrical haircut? >> I had a wig that was cut asymmetrically.

Have you ever made your own pillow or blanket? >> No.

Have you ever made a pillow out of an old T-shirt? >> No, but Sparrow has.

Have you ever tried lucid dreaming? (Where you can control your dreams) Would you ever want to try? >> I’ve not given it a serious attempt, no.

If you want to be cremated, do you want your ashes scattered anywhere? >> I don’t want to be cremated.

Would you ever have a deceased pet stuffed? >> No.

Would you ever have a pet cremated? >> No.

What is your favorite sci-fi series, if any? >> I have a few. The Stargates, for example.

Do you believe in the existence of parallel universes? >> Yep.

If you could run your own business, what kind of business would it be? >> I really would rather not.

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare*

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abusedapricots · 4 years

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I JUST finished The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. WOW

I really enjoyed it, though not sure if I’ll feel the same way in a week when the book high has worn off, we’ll have to see.

*UPDATE: its meh, I dont regret reading it but I wouldn't recommend it to a friend. Honestly this book didnt need to be a thing but its not the worst.

I’ll admit, at first I was skeptical. I thought this would be a cash grab returning to an old world with guaranteed readers. I was worried that Panam would feel phony, after 10 years away from the original trilogy I didn't think it would feel real. I was quickly proven wrong. Coriolanus Snow definitely had his own story. The post-war capitol felt real even district 12 felt real. This book surprised me. Though my expectations were low I’m really happy about TBOSAS.

CORE-E-O-LAN-US or CORE-E-O-LANE-US?

I just quickly typed this up for some unbiased thoughts before I watch/read some reviews. As I'm sure there are lots of typos grammatical errors, and sloppy writing, I'll be back in a week to revise this review once I've let the books simmer.

Spoilers Ahead

I loved Coriolanus’ story. LOVED IT. He was smart, reserved, calculating, only ever giving away what was needed of a situation. Maybe it was the narcissist in me but I loved being in his brain. I liked how this book dealt with the other side of classism. How the once-revered Snows had fallen and Coriolanus need to keep up appearances, refusing to let the snow dynasty die. I like how thought-provoking the three C’s, chaos, control, and contract were. I liked how Coriolanus didn't have hard-set opinions, they changed as he grew. I find that a lot of the times with YA novels characters had a very strict world view of what is good and what is bad. Coriolanus’ view of humanity is never really clear until the end. He teetered on good and bad. Suzanne wrote a great villain, Snow was always able to justify his actions. He says it himself, he’s a capitol boy and he decides to play the game of fame and fortune instead of rising against injustice.

Coriolanus’ Superiority Complex

I think my favorite aspect of the book is how unattached Coriolanus was. Every time Coriolanus had to do anything he always weighed his options. He never rushed to help because it was the right thing to do, he did it to preserve an image. He’s all about his image. In the beginning, when he and Lucy Gray begin their relationship, Coriolanus never felt fully in it. Suzanne Collins writes in a way that obscures his motivations. He would often do and say things that made me believe that Coriolanus was really falling for Lucy Gray but then shortly after Coryo always mentions how he could benefit. He’s ‘love’ for Lucy Gray came from the want of the prize, the full ride to university, to bolster him and his family name, I don't think Coryo ever did anything out of pure intentions. He was never blind with love, he could still clearly see the options in front of him and every move was calculated, always self-serving. This is why him switching up on Lucy Gray wasn't very surprising, he saw a better opportunity and he took it. He never really loved her, he loved what she brought him, fame, attention, a chance at the prize, freedom once he used her up he had no use for her. Sure he was drawn in by her charm but in the end, he never really knew her, he had been too self-involved to ever really get to know people.

I think his lack of attachments was best represented in his unwavering distaste towards Sejanus. While he and Sejanus grew close (even just by proximity) Coryo never failed to look down on him, he never seemed to acknowledge that Senjanus’ worries were valid rather, he brushed them off as Sejanus being a district kid, never worthy of respect. When it came to it he was ruthless in his betrayal. Returning to the capitol and having the Plinths care for him as their own only solidified Snow’s heartlessness. I don’t think Snow was a psychopath, lacking all emotion, I think he definitely could have teetered over to the good side, but his superiority complex kept him from doing so. His classist need to divide and look down upon only grew as he goes on to become president. He has a very us against them mentality, a rich vs poor outlook where if you were born district that's all you'll ever be despite proving otherwise. Call it old fashion or heartless? He even had to convince himself and the capitol that Lucy Gray wasn't ‘truly’ a district kid, much less from district 12. He couldn't bear it, to be into someone from the lowest rung of society. It wasn't he style, not for the exceptional Coriolanus Snow. Funny how during the game when choosing which of the remaining mentors to eat with he thought “cannibal over cutthroat” while he was the most merciless himself.

Thoughts On Lucy Gray

I didn’t think she was anything special. Sure she was that cool, quirky™ girl but I’m not head over heels for her. I wasn't ever super invested in her. This might be because I’m reading in Coriolanus’ head, not seeing her as more than something to be used. I liked that she was nothing like Katniss though.

I liked it when Coryo saw her as a killer. When he had found the guns when his heart decided to kill her then. Lucy Gray knew the future too when she saw the guns, she knew it before Coriolanus knew it. She was smart, maybe reading from Coriolanus’ point of view shrouded her intellect as he refused to see anyone being better than him. He justified killing her by thinking of her as a killer. He altered his thoughts of her arena killings as a must for survival to cold-blooded. He no longer saw her as a ‘Poor Lamb’ but instead the “clever, devious, deadly girl”.

It was a shift for both Coryo and Lucy Gray. This showed that Lucy Gray wasn't without fault, she too could be cunning and ruthless, when need be of course. These few pages of the book were monumental in proving why Coriolanus was a bad person. It allowed the audience to see that everyone had this malice in them yet the majority chose not to listen and do the right thing while Coriolanus lead his life with that voice. He actively chose to do the wrong thing to move up in the world. His behavior was not special to him, his up growing, experience, and hardships didn’t make him an evil person, Coriolanus’ choice to choose evil at every turn to do good made him an evil person. Everyone has this malice in them but the majority chose not to act on it while Coriolanus welcomed it.

For Coriolanus, it showed that in his head, he could justify any action despite how cruel. I think this is where Coryo lost any last bit of humanity. He refused to see the world and its people to be good, to be capable of free thought. He saw the world to be controlled. These few pages were my favorite out of the book, I feel it to be the catalyst of his tyrannical rule. He couldn't trust the girl he “loved”, much less the district people.

Concluding Thoughts

This book made me think about responsibilities to preserve humanity vs our individual need to survive and be successful. If this what it takes to be president then so be it? how can you stop someone's pursuit of success? At what cost is someone's dream. At least we know that Coriolanus knows that the hunger games are wrong, he knows but to him its worth the cost of keeping the district complacent.

I think the cruelty of Dr. Gaul was needed to make Snow seem like a halfway decent person. With the addition of Dr.Gaul, it softened Coryo’s shitty behavior because what Coriolanus thinks and does pale in comparison to what Dr. Gaul thinks and does. Without Dr. Gaul, Coryo would have been the only one with these sick cynical thoughts, amplifying him to be the bad guy. I think it would be interesting to re-read this book while writing off Dr. Gaul’s action just to see just how evil Coriolanus is without the comparison of Dr. Gaul’s cruelties. I wonder if I would still be as understanding towards Coryo and if Dr. Gaul’s character had that large an impact to make Coryo seem not too bad.

Though I am left wondering how Tigris was left in the dust by the end of Mockingjay. It seems unlikely that Coryo would have just left Tigris to fend for herself given how fondly he spoke of the sacrifices she made for him and the family name. I wonder how she ended up with a failing fur undergarments business by Mockingjay. Had Coryo betrayed family? Coriolanus is callous but he still had loyalties, his family, Pluribus. It just doesn't seem like his style to leave the few he actually cared about to fend for themselves while he had the means to help. I mean even as peacekeeper Coryo sent most of his money back home. Maybe Tigris was the one that left Coryo as she was made out to be kind and caring, lacking the grandiose nature Coryo possessed. Also given that Tigris is older than Coryo, and him being a pretty old dying man in Mockingjay I can't seem to see Tigris being alive much less as active as she was in helping Katniss (and crew) in killing Coryo. Maybe it was her capitol surgeries that allowed her aging to slow?

I think its interesting that in the end Coriolanus still saw what he had with Lucy Gray as love. Maybe to him what he had was his version of love, being able to use someone and for them to be used so willingly. I wonder if he knows the difference between the two and what real love looks like. I wonder what he thought of Katniss and Peeta, stupidity? what's the point in being with someone if they dont benefit you?

Some stand out quotes:

“Oh, no. You don’t like it?” he exclaimed. “I can try and bring something else. I can-” Pg. 85. When Coryo brings Lucy Gray the bread pudding Tigris made. Coryo’s care of Lucy Gray’s taste preference was sweet. She hadn't had food in a while, having this bread pudding should the highlight of her day. The fact that Coryo cared that she didn’t like it and was quick to offer something else was very sweet of him. Ugh, image the type of gentleman he could have been if he had been genuine and not so rotten.

I like how Suzanne Collins didn’t try to get the audience to love and sympathize with Coriolanus. Instead, she makes it clear that Coryo activity chose to do the self-serving thing at every turn.

I genuinely really enjoyed this book. Maybe my second favorite out of the entire Hunger Games books (bold ranking!!! but it might change once the magic of being nose deep in a book for 3 days has worn off). I think this book works great as a stand-alone, I wouldn't be afraid to recommend it to those who haven't read the trilogy.

UPDATE* woah my post book high is bad. DEFINITELY NOT second favorite??? HUHH?? what was I saying? what was I thinking?? (my deep seeded resentment towards mockingjay is showing) this book in no way supersedes any of the trilogies, yes including mockingjay 😒.

I’m not gonna lie, I did start developing a crush on Coryo in the beginning. Him being so smart and driven, so gentlemanly, caring about the little things like handkerchiefs SWOON. Buuuuut he quickly became an ass.

I said that the title “The Ballad of Songbird and Snakes” was a ripoff of “A Song of Ice and Fire” before reading the book. I thought Miss Collins just wanted a super sick book name but as I have finished the book, I would like to formally apologize and retract my statement. The title does fit this book.

SNOW LANDS ON TOP

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #hunger games #suzanne collins #coriolanus snow #coryo #snow lands on top #why did I write a 2000 word analysis on this book while I can't bring myself to do my one page of homework?

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 Episode 3 Easter Eggs & References

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This Star Trek: Discovery article contains spoilers for Season 3, Episode 3. Read our review of the episode here.

As the USS Discovery starts to explore the galaxy in Star Trek: Discovery Season 3, the first stop is, understandably, to check-in on how the Planet Earth is doing. Unlike Battlestar Galactica searching for Earth forever, Discovery decided to get the whole Earth thing out of the way right away. In Episode 3, “People of Earth,” the crew returns to the home planet of the Federation and learns things are not remotely similar to how they left it.

Along the way, “People of Earth” references a long-running TNG-Douglas Adams joke, a quip from Kirk in The Wrath of Khan, a famous DS9-era alien species, and more!

700 years after we left…

Burnham’s opening narration fills in new details we previously didn’t get about the Burn, including the idea that prior to the Burn, about “700 years after we left, dilithium reserves dried up.” This means that around the year 2957 or so, the Federation was “trialing alternative warp drive designs.” We don’t know much about the 30th century in the existing Trek canon, other than Daniels from Enterprise had knowledge about that era. To put it in perspective, this time period would still be 500 years in the future for Star Trek: Picard. The idea of the Federation trying to change the way warp drive operates vaguely references the TNG episode “Force of Nature.”

When Burnham talks about being a courier, someone hands her a sliver containing the Starfleet registry NCC-4774. We don’t know what ship this belongs to, but it seems like this is a visual joke which references the long, and intentional inside joke about using the number 47 (or 74) throughout all of Trek which began around TNG Season 4. There are literally hundreds of appearances of the numbers 47 or 74 throughout the franchise, so many that there is actually a “47 project” devoted to finding all the occurrences of 47 throughout the franchise.

The origin of the joke references the number 42 from Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. In that novel, “42” ends up being the answer to “the life, the universe, and everything.” Burnham is searching for similarly vague answers in this montage. In the ‘90s, “47” became the “42” of Star Trek canon, and Rick Berman joked once that 47 was “42, adjusted for inflation.” The number “47” is also an Easter egg of sorts for alums from Pomona College, sprinkled throughout TV and film history.

Terralysium and Burnham’s mom

Burnham tells Saru that during the year she’s spent in this future, she’s connected the planet Terralsyium and that “they had never heard of my mom.” This references Season 2 of Discovery in which we learned Burnham’s mother, Gabrielle Burnham transported humans from the 21st Century to a planet called Terralysium in the Beta Quadrant. In theory, Terralysium was supposed to be the tether location where Burnham and the USS Discovery ended-up. In “Perpetual Infinity” Burnham’s mom was sucked into a time vortex, which, in theory, could have deposited her into the future version of Terralysium. So far, though, that’s not the case.

Captain Saru

Saru is promoted to captain in this episode. This is a long time coming for Saru. He’s been a First Officer for two captains thus far, Captain Lorca and Captain Pike. And, in the Discovery novel Desperate Hours, Saru was upset that Burnham was promoted to First Officer over him prior to the Battle of the Binary Stars. This 2017 book by David Mack is slightly non-canonical, but it did establish Detmer’s first name as Keyla, and doubled-down on Number One’s name as Una. Anyway, the point is, Saru has been working for a long time to become Captain.

DOT-7 Bots

We briefly see the outside of Discovery’s hull being repaired by DOT-7 robots. We first saw these little bots in “Such Sweet Sorrow” in Season 2, when they emerged from the Enterprise and effected some repairs. One of these bots, of course, was the star of the Short Treks episode “Ephraim and Dot.”

“Galavanting”

Georgiou mentions that Book has been “galavanting through space with Michael.” This could be a reference to The Wrath of Khan in which Kirk says, “galavanting around the cosmos is a game for the young.”

Saturn

Although the planet Saturn is famous to us here on Earth — not counting the opening credits for Star Trek: The Next Generation Seasons 1 and 2 — this is seemingly only the fourth time Saturn has appeared during an episode or movie of Star Trek. Previously, Saturn appeared in the TNG episodes “The Best of Both Worlds,” and “The First Duty.” In Star Trek (2009) Saturn appears when the Enterprise hides near Titan.

“One aye”

When Booker sarcastically says “aye, aye” commander, to Burnham, she replies, “One ‘aye,’ we’re not pirates.” This might reference the original TNG episode “Lower Decks,” in which Riker tells Lavelle that “One aye is sufficient acknowledgment, Ensign.”

Georgiou pretends to be an Admiral

When the Discovery is inspected by the Earth ships, Georgiou dons an Admiral’s uniform to “make it believable.” This is the second time Mirror Geogoiu has worn a Starfleet uniform even though she is not really in Starfleet. The first time was in Discovery Season 1 when she was authorized to impersonate Prime Georgiou to lead the mission against the Klingon homeworld.

Generational ship

Saru’s cover story for why the USS Discovery is still in operation in 3188 is the idea that they are a generational ship and are crewed by their own ancestors. This concept actually occurs in the Enterprise episode “E²,” where the crew of the NX-01 meets an alternate version of the ship crewed by their descendants.

Synthehol

Book is furious to discover he’s not drinking actual booze, but instead, synthehol. To be clear, in Trek canon, synthehol can get you drunk, but mostly if you’re an alien or a former Borg. In the TNG episode “Relics,” Scotty complained about having to drink synthehol in Ten Forward

Quantum torpedoes

It’s briefly mentioned the Wen’s raiders have “quantum torpedoes.” This tech was first mentioned in Star Trek: First Contact, which, at the time, made it very new.

Starfleet does not fire first!

After Georgiou suggests Saru take swift and aggressive action, Saru remonstrates her by saying “Starfleet does not fire first.” He’s actually quoting… Georgiou in the very first episode of Star Trek: Discovery. Though, in that case, the Georgiou who said “Starfleet doesn’t fire first” was the Prime Universe Captain Georgiou, not the Mirror Universe Georgiou who we’re more familiar with.

Titan

After it’s revealed that Wen (Christopher Heyerdahl) is actually a human, we also learn that he’s from the Titan. In real life, Titan is the largest moon of Saturn, and, unlike most moons, boasts an atmosphere. Trek canon has mentioned Titan a bunch. In “The First Duty,” Wesley was training near Titan, and again, in Star Trek (2009), Chekov hid the Enterprise behind Titan.

Adira’s revelation

We learn very quickly that Adira (Blu del Barrio) is a human joined with a Trill; specifically a symbiont called “Tal.” Burnham and Sura discuss their general ignorance of Trill symbionts, but Saru tells Burnham everything he knows about the Trill comes from the “Sphere Data.” This references the giant alien sphere Discovery encountered in the Season 2 episode “An Obol for Charon.”

The fact that Burnham and Saru don’t know much about Trill symbionts makes sense. It’s not clear that in the 2250s that the Trill were open about being a joined species, but by the time of The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine the Federation obviously learned about them. In fact, in the first TNG episode “The Host,” a human, Will Riker, was joined with a Trill. But, Burnham and Saru wouldn’t know about that because it would have been in their future back in 2257, and certainly, the Sphere didn’t know about that either.

Captain Georgiou’s telescope

Saru unpacks Captain Georgiou’s telescope and puts it up in his new ready room. This telescope was presumably salvaged from the USS Shenzhou and given to Michael Burnham as part of Georgiou’s will in “The Butcher’s Knife Cares Not For the Lamb’s Cry.” But, after that, Burnham gave it to Saru instead. Saru and Burnham both used this telescope for practical purposes in the first Discovery episode ever, “The Vulcan Hello.”

Discovery Season 3’s Latest Twist is Straight Out Of Star Trek: Insurrection

By Ryan Britt

Did Star Trek: Discovery Just Tease the Michelle Yeoh Section 31 Spinoff?

By Ryan Britt

Which Quadrant?

Burnham says that Book has “a fresh start, in a new quadrant.” We know Earth is located in the Alpha Quadrant, which seems to imply Book and Burnham were previously operating in the Beta Quadrant.

Starfleet Academy and Picard’s favorite giant tree

Although Starfleet is no longer operational on Earth, the crew visits the grounds of Starfleet Academy in San Francisco. There, they find what seems to maybe be a huge elm tree. If so, this tree was actually referenced by Jean-Luc Picard in the TNG episodes “The Drumhead” and “The Game.” In theory, if this is supposed to be the same tree, it was tended by Boothby in the 24th Century which would imply it existed at least 100 years before that, in the mid 23rd Century, too.

Golden Gate Bridge

The final shot of the episode pans out to show the 32nd Century version of the Golden Gate Bridge. The last time we saw this bridge chronologically, was in Star Trek: Picard in 2399. Though, prior to that, the bridge had been partially destroyed in the Dominion War in the 2370s. That is if you believe Changelings are real…

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Star Trek: Discovery airs new episodes on Thursdays on CBS All Access.

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neirawrites · 4 years

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I was a Twihard in high school. Then I was a Twilight hater. In 2018, I decided to reread the first book, to see for myself on which side I belonged. I wrote my thoughts as I read, in multiple parts, but on my main blog, so I thought I might share them on my writeblr too, because I kinda had fun with it.

Enjoy my many, many notes

Pages 0-50

I’m actually kinda into it. Yeah, there are a many issues every article on editing tells you to fix (filter words, -ing verbs and things like that), but i feel it. I don’t know what it is, but it’s there.

Bella isn’t that bad of a protagonist. Nothing too spectacular, but she’s fine. She is depressed, self sacrificing and hides her feelings, but also a lot more self aware than i though she would be(like when she notices mike, my son, likes her). She’s a typical teenage girl, the introverted type, way into reading. there’s nothing wrong with that.

I don’t know why i remember Edward being a draco in leather pants,but he’s also fine for now. mysterious and handsome and a bit weird. The first real conversation they have, he’s polite and nice and charming. I expected him to be a dick for like 150 pages at least.

Pages 50-100

I’m still really into it.

Yeah,Edward kinda ghosts her/gaslights her after the whole van incident, but with the benefit of hindsight,i kinda get it. It’s a wonder he didn’t pick up his entire family and moved to Alaska again. I also get her mood during that time and I've been there so i feel ya,Bella,it’s not your fault.

And yeah, Bella gets invited to the dance by three different guys and it’s all kinds of fan fic-y, but the fact she turns them down furthers my belief she’s wake up married to Edward in like a few years and realize she would rather be with Rosalie (a solid choice, might i add).

Edward’s really pushy, especially when it comes to the scene after she faints. like, let her go, you jerk, she can drive herself, but he’s more weird than he’s a jerk and i think that was intentional.

A big surprise was the line “what if i’m not the hero, what if i’m the bad guy?” which isn’t this super cheesy, extra dramatic sentence but a jokey joke told with a laugh. actually, that whole conversation in the cafeteria where she tries to guess what he is is gold and don’t try to tell me otherwise.

I’m reading her interests in him as less of a romantic thing, and more of frustration at his behavior,like she would still be fascinated by him if he wasn’t so hot because he’s just so weird (but being hot is definitely a plus).

Plot? What plot?

Still, while the flaws are there, i’m still enjoying it very much.

Pages 100-150

Is Stephanie Meyer into anime? Cuz she wrote a harem light novel,that’s what she did and that’s how i’ll read it from now on and have more fun doing it. (Might make a post elaborating on this further).

All this to say that we got to Jacob. Not gonna lie, I kinda forgot about him. He seems like a nice kid and i’m glad Bella has some positive interaction. Team jacoj 4 life (jk,man,i was team jasper in high school which is in retrospect very weird of me). I know he becomes a friend-zoned dudebro later, but for now, he’s fine.

Meyer, lady, you’re winning me over as a half hearted defender of your work, but why are the girls so bitchy? Yeah,i know, bitchy girls exist in real life, especially in high schools,but girls are our friends and we need more positive female on female interactions. Just my personal preference, I guess.

Things are getting interesting. Bella’s dreaming weird dreams (just fyi, not a big fan of dream scenes in general), she’s googling like crazy and we’re going to Port Angeles.

I never felt she has any sort of affection for Angela or Jessica who seem really nice and have done nothing wrong. Like loosen up Bella, give them a chance. I know, depression makes you into a bitch sometimes, but it would warm me up to her character if she was a little more affectionate with people around her.

That whole scene where she almost gets at best beaten up and mugged and at worst raped and killed is… not my favorite part of the whole thing. I get what Meyer needed to do, to have her be saved by Edward, but there must have been a better way to go about it. What do I know? I’m the queen of forced plot contrivances. I do like their conversation at the restaurant (again, why do we hate the female waitress, Steph?). I don’t know why, I expected Edward to be mad at Bella for what happened to her and he seems genuinely concerned and his anger feels… human. Some of his actions, however, do not.

He stalked her which is weird and creepy and I hate it. Don’t stalk people, Edward. most of us don’t like it. you’re lucky Bella’s a weirdo.

150-200

I kinda love how ok she’s with the whole vampire thing. she’s just “well, this kid i barely know told me a scary story, so i guess the guy from school is a vampire. it be like that sometimes.” my first assumption would be it’s all an elaborate prank to make fun of me (i have some deep seeded trust issues origins of which remain unknown). and he’s waaay to quick to confirm her suspicions. I think there’s an explanation in the part of midnight sun that got leaked, but that was like a century ago.

I would criticize her for being ride or die with Edward so fast, falling in love with him so quickly, but i exchanged like 5 sentences with a cute girl last night and a part of is ready to propose based on the artiness of her instagam, so who the eff am i to judge?

and i get why he’s fascinated with her. she’s the only one he can’t read.

why? i don’t think that question ever gets a good enough answer, but it’s a fictional story about a girl falling in love with a sparky vampire. i’m not here for complex science or detailed explanations.

he seems waaay too protective of her. She’s a big girl, Ed, she can take care of herself. It’s actually kinda annoying. i dislike how he treats like a child a lot of the time. he seems pretty condescending. also, if he broke her car, i’m taking back everything nice i said about him.

ok, let me finally address bella’s biggest character flaw, her clumsiness. i mean, i get why she has it but Meyer goes a bit too hard on it. i’m clumsy, i really am, full of bruises, always bumping into things, but Bella can’t walk 20 meters without tripping. i guess i’m just glad she becomes a vampire in the book four, otherwise the book five would have been about her struggles when she’s diagnosed with a stage four inoperable brain tumor that’s been mesing with her sense of balance and the whole things turns into a weird version of the fault in our starts.

if i were writing it i would focus on her trust issues and being unable to form real bonds with other people as her main flaw, maybe even use it to try and justify the whole thing with the mind Edward can’t read. Like, she’s too different in a way that makes her unable to connect even on a basic level, like that one Blue whale that sings at a different frequency than all the others. Idk,i write pulpy sci fi. but it’s easy to be a general after the battle.

we got to the two infamous lines:

how are you? 17. how long have you been 17? is another line that’s more jokey than i though it would be, but also the most realistic piece of dialogue in this book. i would so ask the same thing.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, this paragraph has been memed to death. Second, there was a part of me-and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that would know every word of it till the day i died. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in like with it.

200-300

Not gonna lie, the whole part where he goes around asking her questions he is legitimately interested in knowing the answers to is at the same time my kinkiest fantasy and my deepest fear. like, yaaas, daddy, get to know me on the personal level and don’t be turn off by the fact i’m a tabula rasa.

We got to the infamous meadow scene and Bella is sooo horny on main for that vampire stake it’s actually kinda funny. She gets so effing into it she faints. I fucking love this girl. Go get that adonis dick, Bella, you deserve it.

I don’t mind vampires sparkle.i mean,it’s lame and fanfic-y but in Bosnia we have the lampires so vampires are creatures with a high dose of plasticity. i don’t know why that was like the worst thing anyone has ever done to the vampires. They are kinda too strong and could use a real weakness tho.

So the lion fell in love with the lamb is kind of another joke. Also, this is the skin of a killer is sadly just in the movie.

I do have the feeling he likes the project that he sees in Bella more than the real girl,but ok. Also stop nagging her. He watches her sleep. What a creep. I don’t know why, but the fact that he’s a vampire who doesn’t have to sleep makes it kinda less creepy for me. I don’t know why.

But “if i could dream at all i would be about you,” is the kind of ultracheese i can get behind. they are both such teenagers and i kinda looooove it.

Also non of the boys were her type is such a lesbian excuse. I feel ya Bella, i feel ya. I hope you discover your gayness after the end of breaking dawn.

We meet the cullens and every single one of them has a backstory like 528 times more interesting than Edward. i need novels about them, all of them ffs. it would be so cool. but, one of my favorite oc’s Errien Lark gets like 30 lines in the whole book so i can only be as harsh on Meyer as on myself (which is to say a lot. neither of us deserve these characters, honestly)

This book would have been more interesting if Bella fell in love in any other cullen. Like, Bella and Alice, Bella and jasper (Bella and Jasper and Alice. Sorry, i’m into solving love triangles with ot3s).Bella and Rosalie, Calilise, Esme, even Emmett, who i remember as mike of the vampires, but it’s been a decade.

300 pages in and plot is yet to happen, but it’s ok. we have the vampire baseball next.

the last part.

get your hot takes! hot takes right here

I kinda like billy. He seems like a nice guy. Also billy/charlie as my new otp.

“The beautiful one,the godlike one.” Bella, you are such a teen.

The less fucks she has about him being an all powerful ancient creature of the night who can murder her in a heartbeat, the funnier it is. She is just soo casual about it. Comedy gold, i tell ya. i mean, this is actually part of the narrative, Edward comments on it, meyer knows what she wrote.

Ed,maybe is you stopped saying she smells good, you would be better at not thinking about her as food. Mind over matter. Just a thought. Maybe i misjudged his virgin ass. Maybe ed the incel actually fell in love with her. Or at least what he thinks is love since they’ve been dating for like two days (look who’s talking?the girl who reads any sign of affection as a statement of love and then gets disappointed).

“Emmett could never be compared to a gazelle”. That’s sexist steph. Emmett, honey, you are as gracious as you want to be.

Also a big yaaaas on the whole concept of vampire baseball. we needed more of it.

Plot! Plot! Plot! Plot! Plot!

We have encountered plot. Only 320 pages in. three bad vampires came into town.

Story time: when i was in high school, all like 20 of us in out class were really, really into twilight (dudes included). we quoted it all the time but the height of comedy happened when someone brought their friend from another school to out class and someone else was like “you brought a snack” and a meme was born to be quoted endlessly for months. it was actually kinda fun. and probably very annoying for anyone who wasn’t into twilight.

Also, any development? Backstory? Motivations other than for the hell of it for out boi James and his ginger girlfriend? come on, it wouldn’t even be that hard. Also, some foreshadowing? There was like one line before. This is a legitimate criticism. it’s kinda shitty writing and a wasted opportunity.

Edward is being a dick again. I get he’s scared but her dad could die. Or maybe they’ll trun him into a vampire too (charlie/Edward? Think about it). But they all call him out on it which is nice. Bella’s plan isn’t bad, but “let me go charlie” is the straight up coldest thing i have read in a long time. it’s supposed to be, this isn’t criticism, just stating the obvious. But she showed like an inclining of love for her dad who has been nothing but nice all this time. Yeeey, she’s not a robot.

“It was the best idea. Of course it was mine” . Yaas, queen, you’re not that much of a doormat; take that credit.

i would do something to foreshadow the ballet studio thing in the first half of the book. at least, have Bella or Charlie looking at pictures from her recital, just to intricate it to the plot a bit more.

Ok, now i remember why i was team jasper. He is so effing nice. And he would be awesome for my depression. Neira/Alice/jasper, i ship it.

i’m kinda digging the explanations of how vampires work and the whole venom thing. They are still op af and need to be nerfed, but i wanna be one.

Of course, he used the mom. She’s like the only person bella actually cares about. She falls for it. i would probably fall too, but i’m dumb.

the fact that james hunted Alice is a nice and a very much needed twist. it did catch me of guard. i would be more mad he’s a bad guy monologing, but i can only introduce stones to my own glass houses.

Bella’s now more into the idea of being a vampire than into Edward and i’m living for it. she’s going to use him for his venom and a baby and run off with rosalie.

“and how many times did she fall our of a window?” (yes, that is a Sherlock reference in the year 2018 of our lord. maybe i should do that for my next project. should i wait a few more years?)

her mom is not worried enough, honestly. my mom would be freaking out. but my mom has anxiety issues, so idk… (i couldn’t get her smooth hairless legs, or her blue eyes but i got that gene. thanks, i guess) .

“And i have a couple of girlfriends” now that’s a novel i want to read but i guess i’ll have to write the lesbian twilight myself.

“I want to be superman too”. yeeees, finally, kristen steward in the role of superman casting of the century. you would all watch it and love it, and you know it.

Charlie doesn’t deserve this shit. when will he retire with his husband billy in their cabin where they can fish all day.

“Do you want me to bolt the door so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?“ Are we sure she hasn’t been a vampire from day one?

Jacob is a sweetie (for now) just putting that out there.

Edward is kinda being unreasonable. being a vampire in your universe isn’t that bad.

Aaaaw, and that’s a wrap.

i actually kinda digged it. it’s nothing special, but i read these last 150 pages in one sitting. my main issues are writing oriented. very little foreshadowing, many filter words and things like that, but i guess if you aren’t that into writing, you might not even notice more of that.

it’s not the death of literature, it’s not the worst love story ever told. it’s just a silly and mostly harmless wish fulfillment novel.

edward can be a controlling and condescending prick but he gets called out on it very often. it’s not like meyer is completely oblivious to what she’s writing. and even tho he’s 100, i guess they are all mostly stuck mentally at the age when they were turned. or at least that’s how it seems to me. bella is kind of a bitch to everyone who’s not a vampire and she’s never called out on it, there’s a glimpse of change in the epilogue, but i don’t think meyer really considered it a character flaw. which is a shame, as it could have made for an interesting character. all the vampires have stories i would rather read about, as i said before, but what can ya do? that’s what’s fanfics are for.

i may write more of cohesive thought on it when it settles in my brain, but first, i need to watch the movie. i have a hypothesis i need to test.

but i don’t regret doing this. it was kinda fun and now i’m no longer ashamed of my twihard phrase. i could have done worse, as far as teen phases go.

Someone should like write a fanfic, but Edward is not a vampire, but a rich guy. And he’s into some hard core spanky business. And they should take all the problematic elements and just crank them up to 11. And add a looot of sex. I bet they could make millions.

Tho, honestly, how can you read twilight and not make bella the kinky dom? you fundamentally misunderstood the story. for shame

#twilight #stephanie meyer #the midnight sun #edward cullen #bella swan #long post

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flightandsurvival · 5 years

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Do you ever find yourself worrying about things that probably won’t happen? Why yes, hello, I have an anxiety disorder and this is my literal life.

Has your imagination ever made it hard for you to sleep? Yes, but I would again attribute that “imagination” to anxiety. Have you ever had a weird dream and obsessed over what it might mean? I don’t typical obsess over meaning, I don’t think that there is any... but I do have really vivid dreams I am constantly giving all the weird details to my friends. Or do you usually forget about your dreams? I forget sometimes.

Do you know your heritage? I am 50% Chinese, my grandfather and grandmother immigrated from China in their early 20s. My mom’s side if a lot more ambiguous.

If not, would you ever try one of those DNA kits? I would, I think it would be interesting to see exactly what DNA be running through my veins. Which languages can you speak? English. That’s it. I’m uncultured. Which language do you speak the most and why? English because that’s what I know. Which languages do you wish you were fluent in? Either Mandarin or Spanish. With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or subtitles? Subtitles but I’ll do a dub too. Which cuisine do you like the least? German. Too much meat. Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? Why yes, of course. Which type of chocolate do you like best? I don’t love chocolate... I’ll eat it if it’s infused with THC though. Do you have a favorite kind of dog? All of them. Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? Absolutely. Do any of your favorite musicians ever write music for/with other artists? Yes. What is your favorite collaboration between two different musicians? Hmm. Not sure. Who are your favorite songwriters? I’m not sure. Do you like any of those oldies groups (like the Four Seasons)? Sure. Do you know who Bernie Taupin is? I don’t know who that is. What are your favorite one-hit wonders? Take On Me–A-ha

What celebrities, if any, have you seen naked? I’m not sure... probably plenty since there is tons of nudity on TV and in movies. Have you ever seen anybody naked by accident? Yes. Have you ever wondered what somebody looks like naked? Of course. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? Yes. Have you ever changed your clothes in the car? Yes. About how quickly does your hair grow? Relatively quick. Do you have to/choose to shave anything unusual? I choose to shave my arms. Do you groom (wax, pluck, or thread) your eyebrows? I pluck them when warranted. Most unusual thing you have worn in public? I don’t know. If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? Tarte, Colourpop, Urban Decay, IT Cosmetics. Do you use flavored lip balm? No. What about tinted lip balm? Rarely. What is your favorite swear word? Fuck. Are you afraid of fireworks or other loud noises? No. Do you make your own iced tea, or buy it in jugs/bottles? I don’t typically drink ice tea. Have you ever made sun tea? Never even heard of it. Do you use sugar or honey to sweeten your tea? Occasionally honey. Do you ever put milk in your tea? Only milk-tea/boba. Do you prefer powdered or liquid coffee creamer? Neither, I drink my coffee black. Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? Health care center. Did you have to wear a uniform for gym class? No. Did you have to take showers after gym before going to your next class? Nope. Were you in any extracurricular activities or clubs in high school? German club, volleyball, tennis, chorus. Have you ever picked up and kept a rock because it caught your eye? Yes. Have you attended any rock (literal rocks, not music, lol) shows? No.... ? Have you ever laughed at a scene (TV/film) that wasn’t meant to be funny? Most likely. Do you think they should make a movie about Hatshepsut? Not sure what that is. Do you think books are better adapted as movies or TV series? It depends. Any great books you would recommend? The Center Cannot Hold by Elyn Saks. Any great movies or TV series you would recommend? Wentworth, Jane the Virgin, The Good Place. Were you disappointed with Fox’s version of the Rocky Horror Show? I didn’t watch it. Have you ever seen the original Kinky Boots movie? No. What about the musical? Nope. Have you seen any Hannibal movies other than The Silence of the Lambs? Nope. Have you read any of the Hannibal novels? No. Do you like any Indie movies? Usually. Have there been any movies you had fond memories of, but upon a rewatch didn’t like as well? Most likely. Do you like to go to the movies alone? No. When you watch movies/TV with people, do you find yourself making sarcastic remarks to each other? Depends who I’m with and where we are watching. Movie Theater? No. In my living room? Yes. Have you ever dried down any flowers to keep them? Yes. What is your favorite thing that you have made by yourself? Not sure. I’m not super crafty. Do you like your natural accent (everybody has one)? Sure. What accents do you find most pleasant? Southern drawls, Aussie, Spanish. Does it bother you when an actor in a musician biopic lip-syncs to a recording of the original artist, or is it better that way? I don’t care. Have you ever read about Dennis Nilsen? No. Do you ever go on murderpedia.org to read about murderers? Yes. Have you ever read about the Black Dahlia? Yes. Any other unsolved crimes you find fascinating? SO many. I love true crime, I love dissecting the fucked up details of murder. Do you care what color your socks are? No. What about your underwear? No. What part of a man’s body do you find most attractive? Smile, eyes, mouth, arms. Do you think guys look good in makeup? I used to die over guyliner. Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? I prefer sheet masks. Have you ever had an asymmetrical haircut? Yes. Have you ever made your own pillow or blanket? Yes. Have you ever made a pillow out of an old T-shirt? No. Have you ever tried lucid dreaming? (Where you can control your dreams) No, in my more vivid dreams I actually have some significant control over my dreams. Would you ever want to try? Eh. It happens sometimes without trying. If you want to be cremated, do you want your ashes scattered anywhere? It will be somewhere woods-y. Would you ever have a deceased pet stuffed? No fucking way. Would you ever have a pet cremated? I would. What is your favorite sci-fi series, if any? Dark Matter, Do you believe in the existence of parallel universes? I would consider it. If you could run your own business, what kind of business would it be? A private practice for child therapy specifying in trauma.

#survey #me #about me #personal #questionnaire

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years

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Do you ever find yourself worrying about things that probably won’t happen? I’m great at that. I mean, a lot of my worries are things that are certainly possible and have good reason to, but there’s things I worry about that might not happen or before I have a reason to worry. I just always assume the worst. Has your imagination ever made it hard for you to sleep? My mind is always going. Have you ever had a weird dream and obsessed over what it might mean? Yes. My dreams are usually quite weird and random and I’m just like... wtf? Or do you usually forget about your dreams? A lot of the time. Do you know your heritage? Only a little.

If not, would you ever try one of those DNA kits? Yeah. I am curious. Which languages can you speak? Just English fluently. Which language do you speak the most and why? English because that’s what I know. Which languages do you wish you were fluent in? Spanish. With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or subtitles? Subtitles. Which cuisine do you like the least? Chinese. Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? Oh yes. Canadian bacon, chicken with bone-in, jello, and pudding just to name a few. Which type of chocolate do you like best? White chocolate. Do you have a favorite kind of dog? I do especially like Labs and German Shepherds. Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? I would, but she loves her couch. Do any of your favorite musicians ever write music for/with other artists? Some do. What is your favorite collaboration between two different musicians? I have several. One that came to mind is the collab Linkin Park and Jay-Z did. Who are your favorite songwriters? Hmm. Do you like any of those oldies groups (like the Four Seasons)? Yeah, there’s several “oldies” groups I like. Do you know who Bernie Taupin is? I don’t think so. What are your favorite one-hit wonders? I have a lot of those, including but not limited to: Tainted Love--Soft Cell Relax--Frankie Goes Hollywood Maniac--Michael Sembello Too Shy--Kajagoogoo Take On Me--A-ha Don’t You (Forget About Me)--Simple Minds I Can’t Wait--Nu Shooz No Rain--Blind Melon Lovefool--The Cardigans Barely Breathing--Duncan Sheik Criminal--Fiona Apple Torn--Natalie Imbruglia Sex and Candy--Marcy Playground Closing Time--Semisonic Save Tonight--Eagle-Eye Cherry Absolutely (Story of a Girl)--Nine Days Butterfly--Crazy Town All The Things She Said--t.A.T.u. Collide--Howie Day

What celebrities, if any, have you seen naked? Alexander Skarsgard is one of ‘em. Have you ever seen anybody naked by accident? No. Have you ever wondered what somebody looks like naked? Maaaybe. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? Lol yeah. Have you ever changed your clothes in the car? Yes. About how quickly does your hair grow? Pretty quick. Do you have to/choose to shave anything unusual? No. Do you groom (wax, pluck, or thread) your eyebrows? I pluck them. Most unusual thing you have worn in public? Uhh. I don’t know. If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? Elf, NYX, Wet ‘n Wild, CoverGirl, Maybelline. Do you use flavored lip balm? Sometimes. What about tinted lip balm? Sometimes. What is your favorite swear word? I don’t have one. Are you afraid of fireworks or other loud noises? I’m a jumpy person, so loud noises definitely contribute to that. Do you make your own iced tea, or buy it in jugs/bottles? I don’t really drink iced tea. I mean, it’s fine and all, but it’s not something I opt for. I don’t recall the last time I even had any. Have you ever made sun tea? My mom used to every summer when I was a kid. Do you use sugar or honey to sweeten your tea? I use Sweet’N Low. Do you ever put milk in your tea? I’ve used cream and sugar before. Oh, but I do like milk tea from this one Bubble tea place. Do you prefer powdered or liquid coffee creamer? Liquid. Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? Yeah. Did you have to wear a uniform for gym class? I didn’t in my PE class. Did you have to take showers after gym before going to your next class? No. Were you in any extracurricular activities or clubs in high school? I was in a couple clubs. Have you ever picked up and kept a rock because it caught your eye? Yeah. My Nana and I did that together all the time when I was a kid, and nowadays where I live it’s a popular thing to do to paint and hide rocks around town for others to find and either keep or re-hide. I’ve found a few of those. Have you attended any rock (literal rocks, not music, lol) shows? ...No. Have you ever laughed at a scene (TV/film) that wasn’t meant to be funny? Probably. Do you think they should make a movie about Hatshepsut? I don’t know what that is? Do you think books are better adapted as movies or TV series? I’ve seen good movies based on books and TV shows. Just depends. I feel like with TV shows; though, you can do a lot more with it and stay close to the book because you have more time to work with than just a 2 or 3 movie or having to break it up in parts. Any great books you would recommend? Too many. Any great movies or TV series you would recommend? There’s a lot. Were you disappointed with Fox’s version of the Rocky Horror Show? I didn’t watch it. Have you ever seen the original Kinky Boots movie? No. What about the musical? Nope. Have you seen any Hannibal movies other than The Silence of the Lambs? Nope. Have you read any of the Hannibal novels? No. Do you like any Indie movies? Yeah. Have there been any movies you had fond memories of, but upon a rewatch didn’t like as well? Hmm. Possibly, but I can’t think of one at the moment. Do you like to go to the movies alone? No, I like going with my family. When you watch movies/TV with people, do you find yourself making sarcastic remarks to each other? Sometimes here and there, but we try not to talk too much during. Have you ever dried down any flowers to keep them? Well, they became that way on their own over time, ha. I still have my corsage from my senior prom, which is now over 10 years ago. It’s quite dry and crispy now. What is your favorite thing that you have made by yourself? Uhh. I don’t really make things. Do you like your natural accent (everybody has one)? I don’t like my voice. What accents do you find most pleasant? Some southern ones, British ones... Does it bother you when an actor in a musician biopic lip-syncs to a recording of the original artist, or is it better that way? I don’t care. Have you ever read about Dennis Nilsen? No. Do you ever go on murderpedia.org to read about murderers? No. Have you ever read about the Black Dahlia? No, but I’ve seen documentaries. Any other unsolved crimes you find fascinating? Yeah, that stuff in general is interesting. Do you care what color your socks are? Nah. What about your underwear? Nah. What part of a man’s body do you find most attractive? Hands, arms, lips, jaw lines, necks, V-lines... Do you think guys look good in makeup? I used to have a thing for guys in eyeliner. Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? I don’t use any masks. Have you ever had an asymmetrical haircut? Yeah. Have you ever made your own pillow or blanket? No. Have you ever made a pillow out of an old T-shirt? No. Have you ever tried lucid dreaming? (Where you can control your dreams) No. Would you ever want to try? *shrug* If you want to be cremated, do you want your ashes scattered anywhere? In the ocean. Would you ever have a deceased pet stuffed? No. Would you ever have a pet cremated? Yes. We did that with our dog, Scruffy. Brandie is buried in our backyard in a nice area under a tree. I wish we would have cremated her because one day we’ll move. :( What is your favorite sci-fi series, if any? TV Show: Twilight Zone. Movie: Star Wars. Do you believe in the existence of parallel universes? No. If you could run your own business, what kind of business would it be? I wouldn’t.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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vmheadquarters · 6 years

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Twelve years ago today, UPN (RIP!) premiered a cult-classic neo-noir about murder, class warfare, sexual assault, and forbidden love. It was quippy and campy and smart as hell—and it just happened to center on a pint-sized blonde who looked like a cheerleader but thought like Sherlock Holmes. The show was Veronica Mars, and even if the last decade has muddled its legacy with a much-hyped but ultimately disappointing fan-funded follow-up film and, of course, the extremely meh third season, the high school years remain an unparalleled success. Veronica Mars seasons one and two were better than anything that had come before, far surpassed its competition in quality, and set a high bar for future shows that has only barely been met by a few episodes of television here and there. So give my regards to Friday Night Lights (a family show, not a teen show) and Degrassi (please), but Veronica Mars is the best teen show of all time*.

1. Nuanced Class Conflict

Gossip Girl and The OC did it well, but Veronica Mars did it better. Even though Neptune, CA, is technically fictional, it's as real a place as has ever been portrayed on television. Its particular problems and reputation informed everything from law enforcement (the question of whether or not to incorporate the town into a city and make the sheriff's office into a police department) to the biker gangs riding through on their way up and down the PCH. The levels of privilege/lack thereof were so nuanced and specific. Other shows divide people into the Haves and the Have Nots; on Veronica Mars, everyone has something a little different. At the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder is Weevil, whose background is not only impoverished but criminal; the only community he can "afford" is a gang (though his crew isn't all bad—you'll find nary a broad stroke or generalization in the world of Veronica Mars). In the center of things are Veronica and Keith, who lived comfortably when Keith was sheriff, but have buckled their belts since he became a private eye. On the one hand, they own a small business! On the other, they live in a pretty crap apartment complex and have nowhere near enough saved to send Veronica to college. Then there's the nouveau-riche Echolls', who have all the glamorous trappings of wealth (cars, booze, mansion) and pretty much none of the cultural capital. At the top of the heap are the Kanes; while the Echolls' have enough money to "get away" with murder, the Kanes have enough money to get away with it, cover it up, frame someone else for it, and get the sheriff fired for looking into it. Money problems are basically the least-juicy of TV plots, but by using wealth disparity as a way to develop the characters, essentially building it into the DNA of the show, Veronica Mars created a TV universe just as interesting and complicated as that of Friday Night Lights or Parks and Recreation.

2. Lianne Mars

A girl with a missing mom is a fairy tale trope as old as time, rooted in a deification-of-the-female version of misogyny that I don't have time to get into right now. Suffice it to say, a dead or absentee mother is usually a sign of lazy writing. It's a way to reduce the character count and set a heroine adrift while, not coincidentally, making it so the (usually male) writer doesn't have to think of what a grown woman would think or talk or act like. At first, this is the fate of Veronica's mother, Lianne Mars. She was just conveniently...gone, another casualty of the fallout from the Lilly Kane murder investigation. Her absence lets Veronica be angsty and ill-supervised even as Keith Mars entered the canon of Bestest TV Dads of All Time (which he is! Love Keith forever and ever). But then she came back, with baggage, and the trope was, if not redeemed, at least put to good use. Lianne is an alcoholic who couldn't deal with the disappointing turns life took, and she finally cracked when her husband ran directly into conflict with her lost love Jake Kane, for whom she still pined. Even when she decides she wants to be a mom again, she can't quit being an alcoholic. And as heartbreaking as it is to watch Veronica play the parent, it's also a moment of growth. Veronica realizes—or rather, decides—that she isn't doomed to repeat her mother's mistakes. She is a stronger, better person than Lianne. A person big enough to love her flawed mother, even strong enough to forgive her. In the third episode, Veronica says, "The hero is the one that stays, and the villain is the one that splits." By the end of the series, Veronica has learned what true villainy looks like, and it ain't her mom. Showrunners, take note: This is how you do a realistic redemption story.

3. The Guest Stars and Bit Players

The casting department at Veronica Mars did flawless work. Obviously, the core cast is great, but the semi-regulars and guests are also amazing. There's an entire season devoted to Steve fucking Guttenberg. Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin play the negaverse versions of themselves. Ryan Hansen and Ken Marino do their Ryan Hansen/Ken Marino Shtick, and why shouldn't they? Max Greenfield (a.k.a. Schmidt on New Girl) and Tessa Thompson (from Dear White People and Creed) both had recurring roles long before they were famous, and even Tina Majorino (Mac) and Michael Muhney (Lamb), who didn't really "break out" in a major way after the show, are perfect in their roles. The second (SECOND) IMDb credit for one Jessica Chastain is an episode of Veronica Mars, and of course, Leighton Meester appears in two episodes. Yes, there are other teen shows that feature young actors who went on to bigger, better things, but I maintain that Veronica Mars is notable for encouraging real actors to do real work.

4. The Mysteries Were Smart AF

The show trusted its audience to keep up and pay attention. Maybe even a little too much. In the era before binge-watching and old episodes being able on demand, Veronica Mars suffered from the same issue that plagues the first few seasons of The X Files: Viewers who weren't "caught up" on the season-long mystery arc found it difficult to get into. VM had low ratings throughout its run, and when it used the shift from high school to college to introduce shorter, quicker mysteries, well, we all know how season three went. But looking back, it's clear that the show was ahead of its time, telling smart, twist-y weekly stories while teasing out a longer mystery that deeply impacted the main characters' lives. (Can't you just imagine how they'd advertise the show now? Moody teaser trailers with the tag line "Who Killed Lilly Kane?" and fansites and podcasts devoted to all the clues and hints and easter eggs from every episode?) There are other teen mystery/crime-fighter shows, sure, but they tend to put their characters in immediate peril, which makes the audience ask, "What's going to happen?" Instead, Veronica Mars is an intellectual exercise, evidence and theory based, and the question becomes, "What has already happened, and what does it mean?" That's the kind of meaty writing that inspires, if not legions of fans, a loyal audience to sing its praises. Veronica Mars was so smart it was niche. I'm not making a case for VM as overlooked prestige television, but then again I totally am. WHY didn't it win any Emmys?

5. They Didn't Explain Every Little Thing

See: above "trusting the audience smartness" factor. They didn't explain why sleeping with a "consenting" teenager is still wrong, or why Logan and Veronica went from adversaries to lovers in the space of like, a week, or why money equals power. They got that the audience got it. So, the exact opposite of a show like, say, Secret Life of the American Teenager. There were episodes that touched on privilege and entitlement and infidelity and the abuse of power by law enforcement, but it was subtle and real instead of, you know...Degrassi.

6. The Humor

It wasn't dark and humorous, it was darkly humorous and humorously dark. (Think combining the creepy weirdness of Twin Peaks with the banter of Moonlighting.) Logan's poignant answering machine messages, Veronica's epic takedowns, even Lamb got to be withering and snarky while he systematically fucked over the whole town.The humor kept us invested even when stories dipped into sentimental, Dawson's Creek-esque territory and deflected the romance-y moments that might have turned it into a mystery-style Felicity. Veronica's and Logan's jokes, in particular, also serve a psychological purpose: mask their pain at any cost. Unlike in Gilmore Girls, where every character speaks like a hyper-intelligent stand-up comic and not at all like a teenager or real human being, Veronica and the residents of Neptune make comments that feel true to their characters and relevant to their circumstances. If you watched any episode of Scream Queens and thought, "I guess they're trying to imitate...Scream? Heathers? Clueless? With the smart/bitchy blondes and the snappy comebacks and the eye rolls?" I understand. But actually, they were trying (and failing. Hard.) to do Veronica Mars. Smart sassy cute mean heart of gold flirty clever repartee? Yeah, that's Veronica Mars, and Ryan Murphy, bless his soul, is not Rob Thomas.

7. The Rape Plot(s)

From the very first episode when, in a flashback, golden-haired, white dress-clad Veronica walks, almost in a stupor (have you ever seen a more "perfect" victim?) into the sheriff's office to tell Lamb that she was raped—because she is a good girl and good girls go to the authorities—only to have him, basically, shrug it off, rape and sexual assault were core themes of the show, central to its purpose and story engine. Creator Rob Thomas initially envisioned the story as a YA novel with a male protagonist, and changing the lead's gender to female is arguably the best and most important decision he ever made. Veronica's sexuality is everything. How she flirts her way out of scrapes, plays innocent when it can help her, distrusts it when she's attracted to the "wrong" person, is allowed to enjoy it with Logan and, of course, how her virginity was taken from her one night she can't quite remember. The show takes Veronica's rape seriously as not just a plot point or easy motivation, but as a defining part of her character. She cleans obsessively and looks over her shoulder. She's sensitive to the potential aggressors—and victims—at her school. She knows that her rapist was someone she knew, and she has to live with that mystery every day. But it's complicated. That night she can't remember might have been semi-consensual, but then we learn, no it wasn't. Yes, there's a story about a false rape accusation (against Adam Scott!), but the truth only makes the situation murkier. And in an unfortunately rare move, Veronica Mars also depicts the aftermath of the sexual abuse of boys, including an exploration of how the stigma against male assault survivors re-traumatizes them. (The third season is, in my opinion, a missed opportunity to tackle the campus rape epidemic. By blaming the rapes on a psychological experiment gone awry, the show unfortunately ignores the fact that toxic masculinity isn't a role-playing aberration but a pervasive national issue. But its heart is in the right place, if not its logic.)

8. Veronica

Choker-wearing, dog-owning, private-detectiving blonde badass Veronica Mars. She's most often compared to Buffy, that other crime-fighting cutie with a ragtag army of friends and a ne'er do well love interest, and the comparison is apt. Both possess skills their peers do not and use those skills to solve problems both thrust upon them and sought. But the difference is that in the space that Buffy uses to explore the supernatural, Veronica Mars plays with loyalty and ethics. Is it wrong to snitch on your friends? Is a rumor evidence? Can you break the law to serve a higher good? These are issues Buffy doesn't wrestle with; it's pretty much a given that evil vampires are worth defeating (yes, there are definitely instances when Buffy is tested because she's fallen for a vamp or one of her friends is possessed or whatever, but that's not like, the thing of the show). And while so many other "outsider/observer/new kid" teen show protagonists (Ryan, Dan, Dawson, Lindsay Weir) long to get "in," Veronica's been there. She's been popular, and (a little) wealthy. She's not exploring a new world, she's re-learning her old one. In that she has more in common with Angela Chase, but way less whiny. You watch My So-Called Life and think, I'm totally Angela. You watch VMand think, I wish I were Veronica. When people talk about the strong but vulnerable but smart but flawed but cool but real but beautiful but relatable but empowered but conflicted but modern but iconic but a good role model but not unattainable with a job not defined by that job "interesting" female characters on television, a few names tend to come up again and again: Carrie, Murphy, Ally, Roseanne, Olivia, Dana. To that (very white!) pantheon I humbly submit: Veronica.

*....except for Freaks and Geeks.

#veronica mars

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marginalgloss · 6 years

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her gravity

The Commodore by Patrick O’Brian represents a sort of homecoming for its characters, and a significant promotion for one of them. It is here that Jack Aubrey is given a promotion and put in charge of a squadron of ships with two aims: the first being to damage and disrupt the African slave trade (then only recently made illegal in England), and the second to stop a French squadron landing troops in Ireland. It has been several books since Jack and Stephen were back in England, and a certain amount has changed in their absence. There is still the shadow of a conspiracy around them both, one which reaches into the most remote branches of the aristocracy. Closer to home, Jack’s wife Sophie has been getting a little too friendly with the local reverend. And Stephen’s wife is still conspicuously absent.

On the whole this is a solid, well-balanced instalment in this series. The author’s prose is in fine form; limpid, smooth, and always a pleasure to read. And for the most part it is all very laid-back. The plot is not really a central driver of interest here. The mission against the slave trade is well within Aubrey’s abilities, and Maturin is never seriously threatened by the dark forces supposedly mustered against him. We can also be fairly certain that O’Brian won’t rewrite history to the degree of inventing a successful French invasion of Ireland. But it is full of charming period detail, pleasant little set pieces, and delightful incident on a smaller scale.

It might be the most fun I’ve had with one of these books for a while. I loved the little flashback to a duel between Aubrey and his old pal Heneage Dundas (‘Half a dozen passes, the blades clashing, and when Jack cried out ‘Oh Hen, what have you done?’ Dundas gazed for a moment at the spurting blood, burst into tears, whipped off his shirt and bound up the wound as best he could.’). As ever the scenes in England on Aubrey’s little estate are gentle, knockabout fun. Even a gloomy dinner between Maturin and Joseph Blaine is punctuated by little moments of levity (‘Even in spite of my boiled fowl and my pint of claret and your company I find my spirits much oppressed.’)

But I think it is in this book that O’Brian’s affection for Irishry turns a little strange. It starts to seem less like cultural flavour, and more like cultish preoccupation. We are introduced to the daughter of Maturin and his wife Diana; in a faintly gothic image, he finds the young girl living alone in the care of Clarissa Oakes, who we last met in the novel of that name. Oakes is alone and somewhat disgraced in the eyes of the local community, while Diana seems to have effectively abandoned her child altogether. When we meet the girl, Brigid, she is almost entirely mute. She is polite and mannered to excess but entirely uninterested in adult affairs. It is only when she is introduced to Stephen’s Irish servant Padeen that her father discovers she is capable of open communication:

‘The paper dropped from [Stephen’s] hand. It was exactly as though he had heard a faint childish voice cry ‘Twelve!’ or something very like it. Twelve in Irish, of course. With the utmost caution he stood up and set his door on the jar, with a book either side to prevent it moving. ‘For shame, Breed, honey,’ said Padeen, ‘it is a dó dhéag you must say. Listen, sweetheart, listen again will you now? A haon, a dó, a trí, a ceathir, a cúig, a sé, a seacht, a hocht, a naoi, a deich, a haon déag, a dó dhéag, with a noise like yia, yia. Now, a haon, a dó …’ The little high voice piped, ‘A haon, a dó … ’ and so right through to ‘a dó dhéag,’ which she said with just Padeen’s Munster intonation. ‘There’s a golden lamb, God and Mary and Patrick bless you,’ said Padeen kissing her. ‘Now let you throw the hoop on the four, which will make twelve altogether so it will too: since eight and four is twelve for evermore.’

She will only speak in Gaelic, though it’s unclear how she ever learned it. Brigid has had a difficult upbringing, though we only hear of it second-hand. It is evident that she’s suffered most of all at the hands of Aubrey’s mother-in-law, Mrs Williams. That lady is perhaps the most direct subject of the author’s contempt here; one need only look at how Mrs Williams describes her preferred approach to Brigid (‘...a good shaking, the black hole, bread and water and perhaps the whip answer very well and at no cost...’). Today we might say Brigid has Asperger’s or some degree of autism. But what is evident above all is that she is in many ways the perfect child in relation to Maturin. In her eyes, she is idealised. Well, of course she is — she’s his daughter.

Still, the novel seems to place her on a small pedestal in a way that feels uncanny. At one point Stephen says that in Ireland those like her are known as ‘leanaí sídhe’, and it often seems like the book cleaves too closely to that vision of he as a magical, special creature. She doesn’t really feel like a real child. Certainly she has moments of wonder (as when she is first taken to sea, to go with Clarissa to spend time with the nuns in Spain). But she is not at all messy, rough, or uncouth. To Maturin, all these things are distasteful in the extreme (in spite of his own personal shabbiness). She has all of her father’s fascination with the natural world, and his affinity for animals, and at times she often seems like a nascent, underdeveloped female version of Stephen. I like this moment where he notices that in spite of her implacable reserve, she is not incapable of affection:

‘An ancient white-muzzled kitchen dog shuffled in after them and the first relief to Stephen’s quite extraordinary pain – extraordinary in that he had never known any of the same nature or the same intensity – came when the old dog sniffed at the back of Brigid’s leg and without stopping her left hand’s delicate motion she reached down with the other to scratch his forehead, while something of pleasure showed through her gravity.’

I suspect Stephen hopes that one day he too might be the recipient of head-scratches. After all, his life has been devoid of direct affection for quite a long time. At sea he is widely liked but not often received with much intimacy; most of the sailors respect him rather than welcome him. Clarissa was fond of him but it was never exactly reciprocal. There is Jack, of course, but for the course of this novel Jack is necessarily busy with the business of being a Commodore. And Diana is once again entirely absent from this book. She is mentioned only in rumour by the other characters: she has been gambling, buying and selling horses, and perhaps having affairs. Though we spend quite a bit of time in England, she never appears in this book until the final lines.

Given that Diana’s been afforded so few pages in these novels so far, I shouldn’t find this surprising. But it does seem like an inexplicable way of passing an opportunity, and it left me with the sense of a great deal being swept under the rug. It is a difficult situation, and this author’s way of dealing with really difficult situations is to not deal with them at all. Instead, they will be handled off stage (in cases of spectacular confrontation), or the question will be fudged to make it seem as though there was never really any problem.

The solution here to Maturin’s family life is a combination of both. Diana is conveniently absent, so we don’t have to deal with the problem of her; and the emergence of Brigid turns out to be purely delightful. Mrs Williams and her ilk are easily swept aside. But there’s something that creaks uncomfortably underfoot throughout all this. It is hard not to feel the Irish flair becoming something of a fetish here, and harder still to shake the sense that this stems from the author’s own curious affinity for Ireland.

The afterword to my edition still makes vague mention of the author’s ‘peripatetic Anglo–Irish childhood’, but it is now generally quite well known that O’Brian invented both an Irish surname and an Irish childhood for himself. It might be real affection, but it seems to have been based on an idealised version of that nation, not from his own personal history with it. In later years it became apparent that he either fictionalised or concealed a certain amount of his early life, and despite the efforts of two biographers, much about him still seems obscure.

Perhaps, in the end, the biographies didn’t help at all; the broader question of how his work might relate to his own family experiences is too contentious to be a serious matter for debate. Does it really matter if any of this is inauthentic? Perhaps it does: a post-colonial reading might consider it a sort of appropriation. There is something overly comforting in that perpetual image here of the Irishman (a republican) and the Englishman (a High Tory) arm in arm, fighting the greater fight. Much difficult history is glossed over in this regard. One might take a hard look at the sequence late in this novel where Stephen talks down the Irish locals from raiding a beached French ship to take their weapons. I feel like we would have seen more than a little conflict in his mind regarding such moments in earlier novels; now he is quicker to reconcile the correct thing to do, and the English thing to do, in the same thought.

Perhaps it is all very fanciful. Perhaps this is what prevents O’Brian from becoming a really first-rate novelist. And yet I’m willing to tolerate a certain amount of fancy from my reading. As we’ve seen throughout the theme of leaving one’s responsibilities on shore and lighting out for the territory has been a consistent one throughout these novels. Why should their approach to the those ultimate matters of family be any different? Why should an author not allow their characters a certain measure of the happiness that perhaps they would be denied outside the sheltered pages of a book?

‘…She herself was well, mildly happy, reading as she had not read for years, and she liked the nuns’ singing: sometimes she went with Padeen (who sent his duty) to the Benedictine church for the plainchant. Enclosed was a small square piece of paper, not over-clean, with a drawing of a wolf with teeth and some words that Stephen could not make out until he realized that they were Irish written phonetically: O my father fare well Brigid.’

#books #patrick o'brian #the commodore

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mypearchive · 3 years

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(Above: Ettinger and Ruffalo after a performance of Awake and Sing! in 2006).

Mark Ruffalo and Philip Ettinger on Playing Four Versions of the Same Two Characters in I Know This Much Is True

By Mark Ruffalo for “Interview” magazine

May 19, 2020

What do we want from entertainment when the outside world feels so bleak? Are we in search of a balm, or more salt to pour on our wounds? For Mark Ruffalo and Philip Ettinger, the answer leans toward the latter, which makes their new HBO miniseries I Know This Much Is True perfectly tuned to the moment. Ruffalo stars in the writer and director Derek Cianfrance’s six-part adaptation of Wally Lamb’s 1998 novel, playing Dominick and Thomas Birdsey, identical twin brothers who couldn’t be more different. In the show’s first episode, Thomas, a paranoid schizophrenic, severs his own hand in a public library as a sacrifice to god, and the story refuses to let up from there, skipping back and forth in time as it digs into the traumas that have left these brothers so broken. Ettinger, a 34-year-old actor who mined similarly grim territory as a radical environmentalist in 2017’s First Reformed, plays college-age versions of the Birdsey twins, which meant he not only had two play two characters, but also sync his performances to match Ruffalo’s, an actor he grew up idolizing. Here, Ruffalo and Ettinger connected a day after the show’s premiere to discuss why challenging art is better suited to challenging times, and the cathartic experience of bringing this dark story to light. —BEN BARNA

———

PHILIP ETTINGER: How are you doing?

MARK RUFFALO: I’m doing okay, man. I’m feeling really fucking raw today and vulnerable, like I went on a bender and peed on my girlfriend’s parents’ coffee table, thinking that I was having a great time. And then I’m waking up the next morning just saying to myself, “Oh, fuck. What have I done?”

ETTINGER: [Laughs] I re-watched the premiere last night, and it’s much easier to see it a second time. I couldn’t even process it the first time I watched it.

RUFFALO: How did you nail me as Dominick? It’s uncanny to see someone doing a version of me—and doing it so well.

ETTINGER: That means a lot coming from you. I told you this before, but I wrote you a letter when I was doing This Is Our Youth in acting school because you’ve always been an actor that I’ve looked up to [Ruffalo starred in the Kenneth Lonergan play when it premiered off-Broadway in 1996]. I connected to you more than any actor, the way that you led with vulnerability and an open heart. When this audition came up, to play a younger you, it felt like the universe was handing me something. I watched every interview you’ve ever done, and before every night of shooting, I watched your scenes from You Can Count On Me, because I tried to use that as a template for my version of Dominick.

RUFFALO: I think that Dominick is kind of the 52-year-old version of Terry [Ruffalo’s character in You Can Count On Me], in a weird way.

ETTINGER: That’s so interesting. You’ve gone on to have such an expansive career, and you’re just coming off of the Avengers movies. Does this feel like you’re coming back home in a way?

RUFFALO: Kind of, yeah, because it’s about family, it’s working class, it’s in a small town. It’s real people dealing with real problems in really human ways, and it’s a guy who’s very tough, but there’s something beautiful and sensitive about him. It’s the kind of material I was doing before I did Avengers. It’s probably what I relate to the most. Will it be as popular? Probably not. But as an actor, it’s very meaningful to me. You were shooting Thomas before I did, and you really showed me so much of that character. I don’t know if you could see it, but I was pulling directly from you. And then we had that amazing walk with each other when we met that night, and talked about these two guys and tried to integrate our performances. That was really special. Not many actors would be willing to do that, and I really appreciate you opening yourself up and being vulnerable and the give-and-take that we shared in that 40-block walk.

ETTINGER: I think it happened right before I was about to start shooting, and I was totally shitting-my-pants nervous. Like you said, I was playing Thomas first, and I wanted to make my own choices and follow my instinct. But I’m in support of you, and I wanted to be in service of your performance. That night you opened your heart to me, and it’s a thing I’ll never forget. We were just walking the city streets finding it together. And I didn’t even know this, but one day before I’d play Dominick, I’d do pushups. And then then I found out that you did pushups before—

RUFFALO: Every take.

ETTINGER: The energy was so special on that set. Derek [Cianfrance] sets up a playground where you feel like you’re one organism trying to tell a story. Things would happen that were way past intellectual choices. I’m not a good impressionist, I can’t try to copy you. I just trusted that the energy would work itself out.

RUFFALO: Did you prefer playing one character more than the other?

ETTINGER: With Dominick I would get so angry and frustrated, and then I’d go to my trailer and change into Thomas, and I got to be as present and open and empathetic as possible. So it felt freeing. There’s something about Thomas, he just tells the truth, and sees with a certain type of clarity that’s not fogged up by other things. How about you?

RUFFALO: You had it much more difficult than me because you were doing both characters on the same day. How beautiful and delineated those two performances are is mindblowing. But I had a similar experience. Dominick, like you said, has this armor, he has to project strength, and he uses violence as the final way to resolve an issue, whether it’s emotional or physical. When I started to play Thomas, Derek was like, “Let your stomach go.” And I was like, “What?” And he’s like, “Let your stomach go, man. Stop holding in your stomach!” And I was like, “I’m not holding in my stomach!” And I realized I’ve been holding my stomach in my whole life as a show of masculinity, that I have this strong core, that if someone just came up and punched me in the stomach, I’d be able to take the punch. I’ve spent my whole life on-the-ready in that way. And Thomas is so soft in the stomach. He shows his belly, that softness, that vulnerability. He has a kind of freedom about who he is. I mean, the guy cuts his fucking hand off. We shot that scene on September 11, and when I came in and sat down in the coffee shop, we all took a moment of silence. In the moment of silence, I started praying, spontaneously, just like Thomas started talking, and he was praying for America. And I started to realize that if we had listened to Thomas, we wouldn’t be where we are today. The world would be a different place. The Iraq war would have never happened. We probably wouldn’t have had a second term of Bush. We wouldn’t have had the division in the country that has led to Trump. It’s just so funny that that character who we all write off as crazy, or who we’re afraid of, was so prescient to know what was right.

ETTINGER: What is normal? We’ve created a whole society of structure and time and these jobs we have to do, and that is what makes us important. Yes, there’s a part of Thomas that can flip into extreme paranoia, but I made the decision that it stems from an impulse of ultimate truth. Like you said, he’s right on his impulse. He might take it too far, but there’s a part of him that is way more truthful and way more knowing than almost everyone else around him.

RUFFALO: Did you read the book?

ETTINGER: I read half of the book while I was reading the scripts, and then I put it aside. I’ve saved the other half of the book until this all passes so I can have my own moment with it.

RUFFALO: I totally understand the impulse of wanting to find it on your own. What was working with Derek like?

ETTINGER: When I met with you in the diner, the one thing you said to me was, “Don’t worry, he doesn’t move on until he has what he’s looking for.” I love how Derek is constantly chasing lightning in a bottle, and the ultimate truth. And you think you have it one way, and then he just pushes you into a whole different thing so far beyond anything that I can intellectually think about. It’s the greatest.

RUFFALO: It’s so satisfying and so scary.

ETTINGER: He has such a fine-tuned impulse for watching actors and then pushing them in the right direction. You’ve just got to be game.

RUFFALO: Do you think the material is too heavy for this moment?

ETTINGER: I was wondering how people would take this story during the time that we’re in, but I’ve mostly been watching stuff that has a lot of heart and has a lot of pain and has people struggling to survive. I think everyone has felt pain on many different levels, and I’ve always felt a sense of comfort and a sense of being less alone when I watch truthful stories that deal with real-life shit. I’m at a point in my life where I’m trying to be honest with my own traumas and pain, and it’s interesting how the projects that I’ve done lately have been more of an internal dive into some difficult stuff.

RUFFALO: Everyone wants to be hysterical right now, to just laugh themselves off the fucking cliff, but what I see is a world that’s full of a lot of pain and suffering and loss. And to tell the truth about that in art is a cathartic act, a reminder of who we are as human beings in a moment when I feel like this world we’re living in now is post-human, where the technology is actually leaving mankind behind. The digital image is so packed full of information that our eyes can’t even see all of the information that it’s recording. We can’t keep up with it, and we’re living in our shallow social media selves that are only projected versions of ourselves, but not real or human in any way. So find something that really tells the truth about the human experience, about loss, about love, about connection, about responsibility to each other, about fighting for something—all those things are a good reminder of what it is to be a human being in a time that’s so dehumanizing.

ETTINGER: I feel like such an important part of the struggle of just living is to feel connected to each other, to understand that we aren’t alone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Archiving this interview in full, in case the link to the magazine that I posted earlier, expires sometime in the future.

#mark ruffalo #philip ettinger #i know this much is true #iktmit #derek cianfrance #first reformed #the evening hour

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maneatsbooks · 4 years

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TOP 10 EASY-READING TO HELP YOU THROUGH THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC

Covid-19 has been a grim daily grind through statistics and curves (flattened or not) and light relief has been scant. Even television seems grittier nowadays.

So, my reading list needs one or two little light aperitifs to lift the mood – books so slight and effervescent they linger only as long as their tipsy mood lightens your heart – a panacea for the dearth of mirth these days. Here’s my Top 10:

1: THE DUD AVOCADO by Elaine Dundy

Sally Jay Gorce is a woman with a mission. It’s the 1950’s, she’s young, and she’s in Paris. Having dyed her hair pink and vowed to go native in a way not even the natives can manage, she’s busy getting drunk, bedding men, losing jewellery and living life to the full.

‘Here was all the gaiety and glory and sparkle I knew was going to be life if I could just grasp it.’

A wonderful cocktail of a book, as light and airy as a champagne bubble.

2: RIGHT HO, JEEVES by PG Wodehouse

If the world is not quite the shade of peachy keen you would like and you’re feeling a bit ooja-cum-spiff, manservant Jeeves has the perfect pick me up to restore your mettle. You could start with almost any Jeeves and Wooster novel, but this one contains some of the juiciest Woosterisms:

‘I don’t want to wrong anybody, so I won’t go so far as to say that she actually wrote poetry, but her conversation, to my mind, was of a nature to excite the liveliest of suspicions.’

3: LEONARD AND HUNGRY PAUL by Ronan Hession

Like a Buster Keaton version of Waiting for Godot, this wonderful novel in which practically nothing happens has been one of my favourite reads of 2020. Best friends Leonard and Hungry Paul are two zen-like 30-somethings swimming with the indifferent tides of their lives.

Gently humous and genuinely affecting, this book is perfect to help understand the importance of human moments amid the clamour of modernity.

4: COLD COMFORT FARM by Stella Gibbons

Young, modern Flora Poste is sent to live with her remote country cousins, the Stakadders, in remote Sussex – Judith, her preacher husband Amos, their sons Seth and Reuben, several cousins and the redoubtable Aunt Ada Doom.

Miss Poste imposes her life-affirming no-nonsense ‘higher common sense’ in an attempt to redeem the lives of her relatives to wonderfully humorous effect. Will Flora be able to over come Aunt Doom’s fear of ‘something nasty in the woodshed’?

5: ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY by David Sedaris

A collection of essays by the inimitable American humourist, David Sedaris, including the title story where he hilariously attempts to learn French.

“On my fifth trip to France I limited myself to the words and phrases that people actually use.

From the dog owners I learned ‘lie down,’ ‘shut up,’ and ‘who shit on this carpet?’

The couple across the road taught me to ask questions correctly, and the grocer taught me to count.

Things began to come together, and I went from speaking like an evil baby to speaking like a hillbilly.

“Is thems the thoughts of cows?” I’d ask the butcher, pointing to the calves’ brains displayed in the windows. “I want some lamb chops with handles on ‘em’.

6: GOOD OMENS by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

How we all miss Sir Terry and his askew view of the universe. Whilst I was never a huge fan of the Discworld novels, this novel is an artform in itself. As co-author Neil Gaiman states, Terry is an early riser, and Neil a night-owl, so this story was written in the few hours each day when they were both awake.

The ultimate nature-versus-nurture story in which the antichrist is born in a perfect English village and an angel and a demon, both of whom have grown very fond of humanity over the last 4,000 years, must team up to stop the apocalypse.

7: I FEEL BAD ABOUT MY NECK by Nora Ephron

Journalist, writer and filmmaker, Nora Ephron had funny bones. Writer of Silkwood, Heartburn, When Harry met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle, here she turns her gimlet eye on her own aging process with a wicked sense of fun.

“Here are some questions I am constantly noodling over: Do you splurge or do you hoard? Do you live every day as if it’s your last, or do you save your money on the chance you’ll live twenty more years? Is life too short, or is it too long?

Do you work as hard as you can, or do you slow down to smell the roses? And where to carbohydrates fit into all this?

Are we really all going to spend out last years avoiding bread, especially now that bread in America is so unbelievably delicious?

And what about chocolate?”

8: THE MEANING OF LIFF by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd

“In Life,” wrote Douglas Adams, “there are many hundreds of common experiences, feelings, situations and even objects which we all know and recognise, but for which no word exists. On the other hand, the world is littered with thousands of spare works which spend their time doing nothing but loafing about on signposts pointing at places. Our job, as we see it, is to get these words down off the signposts and into the mouths of babes..”

Thusly:

Blithbury n.: A look someone gives you which indicates that they’re much too drunk to have understood anything you’ve said to them in the last twenty minutes.

Ahenny adj.: The way people stand when examining other people’s bookshelves.

Listowel n.: The small mat on the bar designed to be more absorbent than the bar, but not as absorbent as your elbows.

9: DEATH AND THE PENGUIN by Andrei Kurkov

Viktor Zolotaryov is a frustrated writer whose short stories are too short and dull. When a newspaper edito offers him a job as an obituarist, he agrees. His brief is to select high-profile Ukranian people and prepare obituaries in readiness for the possibility they might die. And then the do.

Viktor’s strange new career is watched with melancholic disapproval by his pet penguin, Misha, adopted a few month earlier form the impoverished city zoo.

A sourly absurdist fable, Andrei Kurkov has written a black comedy of post-Soviet chaos where ambulance drivers must be bribed to bring you to hospital (U.S dollars for preference) and everything is for sale – including a child’s heart for penguin heart surgery.

10: ALL MY FRIENDS ARE SUPERHEROES by Andrew Kaufman

All of Tom’s friends are superheroes, and he’s about to be married to one: the Perfectionist. But on the day of their wedding, the Perfectionist’s ex-boyfriend, Hypno, hypnotises her by making her believe that Tom is invisible. Now the Perfectionist, boarding a flight to Vancouver and thining Tom left her, is moving away for good. And Tom has until the plane lands to make her see him again.

Told in flashback and ending Richard Curtis-style at the airport AMFAS is a beautifully quirky story of rediscovery.

#bibliophile #booklr #book blog #top 10 list #covid19 #lockdown reading

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