#my whole shit let me tell you

[b4kuch1n]

same teacher, different lessons

transcript

[croakings]

i apologize for mithrunposting incessantly but honestly if any of you expected better of me you shouldn't have

anyway i get it and some of the failguy jokes are funny. i can tell that nothing i've run into is even malicious. but also it would be really cool and awesome if there were simply less posts calling a disabled person a failure or baby or a dog or whatever for needing accommodation or extra help, especially when like. hey did you know the source material very on purpose did not do anything remotely like that. critical thinking question: could there be some reasons these phrases are not great, potentially

[shannonsketches]

like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime

why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?

it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working

Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!

[compacflt]

I don’t know why, but I totally believe Mav is one of those skincare people. Just look at how he takes care of his body. Anyways, he doesn’t have a multi-step process since he’s busy, but does have a couple good pricey serums. I also think as a retirement gift, Ice got him an appointment to get one of those chemical peels that takes a few weeks to recover from. Okay, that’s it.

agree to very very much disagree. maverick wears hanes t-shirts that you buy in plastic-wrapped counts of 12 for less than $20 and he wears jeans that were on buy-one-get-two-free sale at macys. Sorry. you could not Pay me to believe that man invests in skincare.

imo ice & mav are superhumanly blessed with good skin & good hair. to the extent that they use dollar store shit and are totally fine and never ever see the need for nicer shit. like a neutrogena commercial will play on the tv and they’re clueless. like “who actually needs that stuff? just wash your face once in a while, you’ll be fine” (the same advice they give to middle school/high school Bradley, who finds their advice summarily unhelpful) they have no knowledge of skincare or any of that stuff because they’ve annoyingly never needed it. they’ll put sunscreen on when they go to the beach… but, like, that’s it. they’re just dudes.

[quinloki]

You said:

So I thought I'd try my best to manifest it through your OC Quill and Marco:

Too Sweet by Hozier is such a vibe, though. First time trying to draw Marco, I hope you don't mind. I hope you have a wonderful day, Quin 🖤

OMG YOU DREW THAT SO FAST! T-T

It's so perfect!

T-T I'm gonna cry! I'm just straight up SOBBING. T-T Everything was just so much lately, and at first it was all these little things and it wasn't nothing to worry about, but it was just a LOT and then my -

T-T Fuck, my friend died in ICU and I found out last night and I wanted to be distracted

and everyone helped last night, and work was so busy today, and I didn't have to think and I just slogged through it and it wasn't great, but it wasn't awful and it was going to be okay.

and then you do this thing for me?

And it's so Perfect T-T and it's so SOFT and it's just got all the vibes and I'm just Shattered in the best possible way and I needed this and I didn't even know it and

Having friends HURTS, it hurts cause shit happens, and you can do Everything Right And Shit Still Happens and It Sucks - but then you have FRIENDS AND THEY COMFORT YOU - and it's the best and everything sucks less and it's so much better.

So thank you - thank you so much, because I really really needed this and I just appreciate it way more than I can express.

I love it, thank you. Thank you. ❤️🥰

[californiaquail]

was hanging out with someone today and she was talking about how she would shoot the hawks and eagles if they went after her indoor/outdoor cat and i had to struggle to keep a straight face. there is an EASY fucking solution to this problem that doesn't involve killing federally protected wildlife OR your poor damn cat. who got in a fight last night and left fur all over the place.

[carltonlassie]

So I'm on a Greyhound (already a bad start) and I had to give my witness statement to COPS in the middle of the journey and I was a bit shaken about the whole thing but now I feel more normal and I'm more occupied with directing my energy towards not peeing my pants, so there's a good thing

[lost-in-fandoms]

Logan and Max have another talk, or 'does kissing count as free therapy?' Part 2 of whatever this was. I couldn't fall asleep last night because of how hard I kept thinking about these two. I blame @girlsdads for giving me the brainrot in the first place.

cw: the tiniest bit of implied sexual content

It's another bad race. Fucking 16th, only ahead of the two Saubers, and of the Haas and Alpine that had crashed each other out. There was no reason why his pit stop had to be 4.3 seconds, when Alex's had been 2.7, no reason why he had been fucked over by not one but two undercuts because of shitty strategy, no reason why Alex's side of the garage had to be celebrating 8th place while his was sullen and quiet.

Logan fears he's going to throw up when he steps in and James claps him on the shoulder, saying sorry, next time, as if Logan doesn't know his contract is on the line. Fucking. Next time?!

Logan feels like he's trying to swim with his hands tied behind his back, desperately trying to make it to shore. Nobody cares he's drowning.

He can barely look up during the debrief, feels like he's choking the whole time on the words nobody is saying. As soon as he's free, he escapes, fumbling for his phone as usual. Only this time, he doesn't call his mom.

Are you free?

Max has his motorhome this weekend, and Logan doesn't wait for an answer before heading over. If he doesn't answer, he'll just take a walk.

Yes come over

He's knocking on Max's door before he can rethink it, before all these feelings catch up on him and he decides he's going to break down alone instead. When Max opens his door, Logan immediately regrets it. He's wearing a black t-shirt, hair styled, looking ready to go out. Of course he's heading out, he has a win to celebrate. Unlike Logan. Who should have just gone home.

He opens his mouth, ready to apologize and turn around, when Max's hand closes on his shoulder, his mouth downturned with what would be worry, if it wasn't absurd for Max Verstappen to be worried about him.

"Come in," Max says, doesn't leave space for arguments when he pulls Logan inside, closing the door behind him.

For a long moment they just look at each other, as Logan's waves lap at his neck. He doesn't know why he's here anymore.

"Are you okay?" Max's hand is still on his shoulder. Logan feels like he'll keel over if he takes it back.

"I might be out of a seat."

It's not an answer to Max's question, it's not even what Logan meant to say, it's not something he should be telling to the competition, but really. Logan is barely Max's competition at all, and who wouldn't know that after this season's disaster? Nobody is counting on him to race next year.

He waits for Max to say something, even if it's just empty platitudes, but the other just squeezes his shoulder and nods, and suddenly it's much harder to hold back his tears.

"I just..." he breathes in, willing his voice to not crack, "I don't know what I am doing wrong."

It comes out more desperate than he meant it to, but he's just so tired and upset, and nobody is seeing him drown. Why is nobody paying attention?

"You have a shit car, get bad strategy calls, and have a teammate with years more of experience. You are not the one doing it wrong."

Max says it so matter of fact, as if he's the one driving the shit car, the one with the better teammate, the one having to fight through the back of the field with no success, and suddenly Logan is angry. He shrugs Max's hand away, fists clenching. What does Max know about being the second driver in a bad team? How dares he say he knows Logan's hunger?

"Fuck off," he spits, wrapping his arms around himself to hide the way his hands are trembling. He shouldn't have come.

"You have potential, you are not doing it wrong," Max says again, stubborn and bull-headed as always, jaw set and eyes clear. Logan's anger spikes again. Max Verstappen, the prodigy child, talking to him about wasted potential? This must be a joke. He scoffs, ready to turn around and leave, but Max grabs him again, gets a hold on his elbow and keeps him where he is.

"Why are you angry?" he asks. And yeah, this must be a joke, for sure. Why is Logan angry? Why is he angry?!

"You don't get to..." he starts, but Max interrupts him, squeezing his elbow.

"No. Why are you angry?"

"The team..."

Max takes a step closer, narrowing his eyes.

"Not the team, I do not care about the team. Why are you angry?"

As if there was a right answer to the question that Logan isn't getting! It's his own anger! And Max doesn't care about the team? Of course he doesn't, it's not his team fucking up! Why can't Logan be angry about the team?!

"Alex gets..."

"No. Why are you angry?" Max interrupts again, steadfast in a way that grates on Logan's nerves.

They're too close now, and for a second Logan entertains the idea of punching three times world Champion Max Verstappen. Anger burns in his chest, and suddenly, without knowing who closed the gap, they're kissing. It's not a nice kiss, all teeth and spit, and it almost feels the same as the punch he hasn't thrown, until Max moves his hand from his elbow to his waist, the other one coming up to cup the back of his neck, turning his head slightly. Gentling him.

His anger is back in his lungs, but it's no longer anger, it's back to salt water, and Logan is drowning again. He breaks the kiss, gasping, but Max doesn't let him go.

Logan doesn't remember the last time someone held him like this, like being here matters.

"Why are you angry?" Max asks again, breath soft against Logan's bitten lips. He smells vaguely like minty toothpaste.

"Because..." he hesitates, but at this point he might as feel say fuck it, and give it all. All his fleshy insides in Max's hands, bleeding on the floor between them. "Because I could do better, but I can't do it like this."

This time Max nods. "You could do better."

And Logan knows his parents and friends have said it before, have kept saying it for years. Knows his time in Formula 2 speaks for itself. But it's different, to have Max say it like that, so surely. It's a different kind of validation, and a different kind of heartbreak, because they both know his time to prove it is running out. It's hard to breathe again.

"It is good to be angry. It makes you want to take it," Max says, maybe mistaking the way his breathing has gone funny. But Logan doesn't feel angry anymore. He's tired, and scared, and lonely. He drops his head on Max's shoulder, who moves to card his fingers in his hair, bearing his weight with ease. Logan wishes anything would come easy to him instead.

"I don't know how to be angry," Logan confesses. He doesn't want to say it, doesn't want to disappoint Max, but he disappoints better than he lies anyway. What's one more person.

"That is of course still okay," Max says, instead of some sort of rebuke Logan is expecting. For a second, he thinks about the stories of Max's childhood, of angry men and steel hands. Max's fingers are gentle in his hair.

"What do you want right now?"

It's too big of a question. Logan wants his seat to be safe, he wants to end in the points, he wants a good car, he wants to not feel so distant from everyone else, he wants to go home. He wants someone to tell him it will be alright and mean it.

He shakes his head, forehead dragging against Max's t-shirt. Disappointing again.

Max holds his hair a little tighter, uses the grip to pull Logan up, to make him open his eyes.

"What do you need?"

And it's the same, but it is different, and Logan needs...he needs...

"You can take it. What you need." Max sounds so sure of it, Logan can almost believe it. Maybe Logan doesn't know how to take, doesn't know how to fix it, but here, now, he at least knows what he needs.

"I need to be better," he says, words bleeding out from his split-open chest. "I need to be good."

They both know what Logan means, because the thing with Max is, that it's always about racing, even when it isn't, and it is also always both at the same time.

Max nods, letting go of his hair, and Logan pushes him around, back against the door. Gentle, because he needs to be, but firm, because he wants this.

He eases himself to his knees, and feels Max's hand cup his cheek. His raspy voice isn't disappointed, or pitying, or even sad when he speaks, only fond. A little proud.

"Good boy."

[fiovske]

listen. as much as I know (and love) that this doctor who special was v much trans rights save lives in the very blatant way that leaves no room for doubt for any wilful misinterpretation with the erasure of transness from the narrative esp in the terf supreme climate which was very necessary and important, and as much as I understand that dw is abt logical reasoning things making sense in a very (emphasis on very) abstracty hand-wavey way and you'd come up blank if you try to get into specifics ... i have just one question.

why did Donna and Rose Noble tell the doctor "we just let it go. you wouldn't understand as a male-presenting doctor." like.. that bit truly ???? me and I just didn't understand like... what does. male-presenting have to do w anything.. I am genuinely asking. i get the logic of the rest of the things: Donna passed down the metacrisis (sp? it's been years since doctordonna ep so I'm rusty) thingy to rose so they're both able to be share the weight of it without dying.. is it the extra regeneration energy theyre able to let go without any hassle? that's such a skill issue for a male-presenting doctor? ... if that then,, why so? what does being male-presenting have to do w anything is. my question. bc the logic is supposed to be handwavey I know.. but that part just puzzled me like is there some secret caveat I'm not getting?

[butnotbubblegum]

using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, don’t read them if you’re having a bad day, they’ll probably not help in the slightest.

[corset]

Our mental health has been in such an interestingly terrible place for the last month or so. Genuinely kind of fascinating to watch from different internal angles....like watching the ocean ebb and flow and change temperament at random sometimes based on weather or the moon or something. Like this shit is just terrible

[daz4i]

ik it's not good to latch onto a mental illness as your defining trait but also. babe i don't have much else going on or any other sense of identity beyond it

[terrorbirb]

Also I am VINDICATED that literally all bosses and p.e.s at my new job has said to me "wow you're good at this. This is the fastest anyone has picked this up. You'll advance fast if you actually stay here" Because I can spot design flaws that take like idk engineering sense? I just know what kinds of things are important in design.

So vindicated that I'm a good engineer. Vindicated that I held that company together. They can keep it going (because I set them up to be able to do that) but there is nothing to hold them together. I told the principals that what they'll lose with me is someone to make sure all the parts of the business work together and someone who can make holistic solutions, and that's what they're seeing.

The implication was always that I wasnt a talented engineer. That's what they thought from literally week two (which I know from sources). I wonder what about me made them think in two weeks I was bad at engineering 🤔 I wonder what about me made them think that when I was still learning things like who our customers were and being introduced to people 🤔 literally before I ever took on an engineering project 🤔 not sure! A mystery!

As I was saying in the 'think of things no one has thought of' business class: I have come up with industry standard systems. Is it small? Yes. But it was 100% my design with no co-designers.

[hexalene]

Looks like you average 175 calls a day! :O

Depending on your shift length that's about 20 calls an hour, dang. I've heard 911 inbound calls are very mentally taxing, sometimes. How do you handle it?

It depends!

There’s kind of a mentality you develop doing this, which is that there is no closure. Once the line has disconnected, it’s over, you’ll never know what happens next.

It gets easier to compartmentalize. There are a good number of calls I think about a lot, but for the most part I let myself forget them.

As for the bad calls, I take breaks. My center has a policy that if you need a break, you take a break, it doesn’t matter how much the phones are ringing, if you need to step away, step away. This helps A LOT. I can go outside or to a private room and breathe, cry, talk it out, whatever I need.

If I’m being really really honest, I can compartmentalize terrible emergency calls a lot better than other difficult calls. With the emergencies, I do whatever I can to help and close the call knowing I’ve done all I can.

The calls I have trouble with are the people who call to verbally abuse us and the mental health frequent fliers, who also call to verbally abuse us in a different flavor. These suck because they’re just on the line to scream, cuss, threaten, and abuse you until you confirm there’s no emergency (and they’ll avoid letting you know if there is one to keep you on the line).

But even those? They’re fine. I might be annoyed with them, but they don’t know who I am and I don’t take the insults personally. It’s just exhausting to see a particular phone number in the queue and be like “oh boy, time to take my headset off because Jane Schizophrenia is about to call and scream as loud as she can into the microphone.” Or worse, to be answering in succession and be shocked when the scream belts out at full blast.

But again, even that? Not that bad.

There’s a LOT of talk about how awful the job can be and how not many people can do it, but honestly?? I think a lot more people could handle this job than they think.

Like bruh have you worked in an abusive retail environment for shit-tier pay and stayed calm while a 45 year old woman with a cropped haircut screams for the manager? Have you gotten into an argument with a coworker and managed to de-escalate it without mediation?

Have you successfully been in behavioral health therapy and have a good regimen of SSRIs, ADHD meds, anxiety pills, or all three (guess who) and can hold off the big emotions until you’re in a safe environment?

You’ll be fine. You can do 911.

[fallencelsetial]

I’m gonna be cringe for a second but I have not stopped thinking about it since last night. And I’m just like…metaphorically cuddling Garu.

As someone that has trauma induced memory loss, I’m just really latching on to the boy.

[krispyjb]

Ah fuck I’m thinking about Water 7/Enies Lobby arc again

Whoops I wrote an essay in the tags