#and that the bad thing just came out of nowhere

[cvrnelians]

dead souls - chapter one

dark!Peter Parker x reader: You haven’t been the same since your boyfriend died—a shadow of your former self. Peter intends to change that.

warnings: minors DNI, 18+ non-con, stalking, obsessive behavior

“I didn’t see that”

The man stumbling by came to a halt, now standing directly in front of you. You couldn’t know for sure, but you surmised that whoever this man was, he had certainly seen better days. He looked around your age, twenty six or so. His face was littered with cuts and bruises, poorly concealed beneath a black baseball cap. His right hand was wrapped up in an ace bandage and he seemed to be walking with a limp, causing him to trip and fall onto the grass mere seconds earlier. To his credit, he recovered quickly. He dusted himself off and surveyed the area as inconspicuously as he could, checking to see if anyone spotted him.

Evidently, someone had.

“See what, exactly?”

You stopped reading your book and looked up at him.

“Some poor guy faceplanting out of nowhere. Didn’t see a thing.”

He chuckled to himself, crossing his arms. He lifted his chin a little and nodded at you, as if challenging you. “Some poor guy, huh?”

“It would seem so.”

“Yeah, well this poor guy doesn’t need your pity. And he has a name.”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, excuse me. Some rude, unappreciative guy faceplanting out of nowhere. My mistake.”

“It’s Peter, actually. In case you were curious.”

“You wanna know something?”

“I think I’m probably gonna hear it either way.”

“I got a top tier view of you wiping out earlier. But fortunately for you, Peter, I’m an exceptionally nice person. So of course I’m going to pretend that I didn’t see a thing.”

“An exceptionally nice person,” he echoed. “You got proof of that?”

“I didn’t laugh at you.”

“So?”

“I could’ve.”

“Did you want to?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to admit to that one. You look pretty scrappy. Rough night?”

He chuckled again, shaking his head. “Oh, you have no idea.” And then, as if saving face, “You should see the other guy.”

You were both quiet for a few seconds as he studied you, a lopsided grin on his face. Beneath the injuries and the slouchy posture, you could tell he wasn’t bad looking. You would argue that he was pretty good looking, in fact. His eyes were dark. Warm.

“Have you got one?” he asked, tilting his head to one side.

“An embarrassing fall story?”

“A name.”

“Oh. One of those. You know, I might have one somewhere…”

“I’m sure you can tell my folks thought long and hard before deciding on mine.”

“Oh naturally, yeah. Peter. Very avant garde.”

“Conceptual.”

“Ahead of the times.”

“Peter. Peter Parker.”

“Wow.”

“I know.”

“Nice alliteration.”

He came a little closer. “What are you reading?”

You felt a wave of dread come over you as he eyed the brown leatherbound photo album, a book you had come to know all too well this past year. You protectively shoved it back into your purse. “Oh, this? This is nothing.”

He squinted. “Is that a photo album?”

You smiled weakly at him, zipping your purse closed and setting it down next to you. “It’s nothing.”

A gift from your late boyfriend, chock-full of memories you two shared together. You had bought him a disposable camera one year for his birthday, and he certainly put it to good use. Since his passing, you had spent hours scouring the album, tearfully flicking through the pages over and over again.

“Hold on a sec,” Peter said, reaching into the bag he was carrying to retrieve an ancient looking camera. He motioned towards you. “I’m a photographer by trade. May I?”

It took you a minute to understand what he was asking. Before you could give him an answer, he crouched down and the flash went off. Once, twice. He pulled the first photo from the camera and grabbed a sharpie from his bag, removing the cap with his teeth. He quickly scribbled something down on the back and handed it to you.

He fumbled when removing the second photo, dropping it amongst the leaves. It got picked up by the wind, floating away just as quickly as it appeared. He whipped his head around, standing up as if he was about to run after it, but you stopped him.

“Don’t worry about it. Some poor soul will find it.”

He grinned at you. “Some lucky duck, I’d say.”

You stared at him for a second, a little stunned. Was he flirting with you?

He put the cap back on the sharpie and shoved it in his bag, beginning to limp away from you. He peeked over his shoulder, giving you a nod. “I’ll see you around, hopefully.”

You shifted your gaze to the photo in your hands as he walked off, surveying the messy array of letters and numbers scrawled across it.

He had given you his number.

🕸️

Peter took a big gulp of coffee as he studied the photo.

Your photo.

Sat comfortably beneath an oak tree, surrounded by leaves of red, orange and yellow. You looked a little surprised, caught off guard.

Cute.

Luckily, it hadn’t been difficult to find.

He chuckled to himself, setting it down on the table. Strewn across it was an array of photos, all of which you hadn’t known about—you would never know about, if he could help it. This was the first he had taken where you were looking directly at the camera, the first photo he had taken in fall.

Fall, as he’d read, held some interesting meanings—that of transition, a time of harvest. An accumulation of growth, a time where crops were ripe and ready for the taking. It had been a year; more than enough time for you to process what had happened to you. You had to have been ready by now.

Peter hadn’t meant for things to go this far.

In fact, he had fully intended on saving your boyfriend. He tried. He really did, but he couldn’t. And at first, it ate him up inside. That was how he found you in the first place, tracking down your boyfriend—or as he preferred to view him, your ex boyfriend—‘s loved ones, doing small, anonymous good deeds to help alleviate his guilt. Bringing your trash cans in from the road, locking your front door when you’d forgotten to, following you to make sure you got home from work safely.

But then things…got a little out of hand.

Peter knew what it was like to lose someone—to be rendered unable to pick up the phone and call them when you needed them most. The loss of Gwen had been beyond devastating, and he’d never really come to terms with it. He empathized with you on a core level, eavesdropping on your grief support groups, the podcasts you listened to, your sad phone calls.

Following you became a bit of a compulsion. He was able to justify it to himself just fine, at least for a while. He was only protecting you, making sure you didn’t get hurt like your boyfriend—er, ex boyfriend did.

Through watching you, he quickly discovered something he hadn’t expected: It was hard to know someone so deeply and not want to love them. And then he began to do what he did best—take photos. And oh, what a beautiful subject he had found.

Today hadn’t been the day he wanted you to finally see him. He had been in pretty rough shape, badly beaten from the previous night’s events. Just another day “at work.” He hadn’t meant to trip and fall in front of you, to make clumsiness the center of your first impression of him. At least you had a first impression of him now. At least you saw him. After all this time, after all this pining, you finally saw him.

And he saw you.

Now, all there was to do was wait.

[derww]

ok ive decided that i also want to have it here. written right after s5 zam ban

Name: Everything that will remain after me

TLDR: Mapicc and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

CW: Violence, murder, suicidal ideations, self-harm, canonical character death

Zam betrays Mapicc; it's a second time.

He freezes at the place, hearing the blood-curdling rumble of the ban. He knows who it is with his guts. For the first time in his life, he is fucking terrified.

How dare he, It's tearing him inside out. How dare he leave him alone. Leave his back exposed and one comm – empty. How dare he.

BETRAYAL BETRAYAL BETRAYAL

He wants to revive Zam just to crush his skull and then kill himself, twist the knife in his own stomach, and on and on until there is no blood left in him to flow out. Every cell in his body is irritated. He turns inside out and tears apart; his skin melts alive; his world exists at one tiny point, around which there is an all-consuming void.

He hardly remembers what he does next, but his blood is boiling and his hand is clutching a sword. It seems that he kills someone, with the full realization that this is forever; he skins someone's alive and does not even remember who. He wakes up in the middle of nowhere, bloodied from head to toe. Some of the blood is his own: torn, extended wounds from a fight that he does not remember, as if the only thing that prevented him from being split apart were reflexes.

How dare he leave me, he thinks. How dare he give up. How dare he die. How dare he, how dare he, how dare he.

He is so hot that he is suffocating. He's so cold that he can't stop shivering. He wants little more now than to light two beacons of rebirth – to pull ten hearts out of his chest and dissolve them in the wind. He knows it's useless. He knows it won't work. Helplessness eats him alive. He wants to kill someone else. He wants to stick a knife in his leg and lead it forward until it stops hurting.

When Mapicc was betrayed last time, he felt sad. He didn't want to fight, and he didn't want to lose his friend and partner. Most of all, he was sorry – it was a pity that they did not talk more, it was a pity that they did not establish real trust, it was a pity that Zam did not talk to him first, and that he did not think that something was wrong. He fought not because he wanted to, but because he had to, because he had no choice, and then mourned their dead friendship, knowing that he would never be able to return it to its former state. Anger and rage came after.

"If we're going to continue working together," he told Zam when the Pirates started working with Guccigang, "you have to swear that you will never betray me again. I'm serious." Because his "I" did not rest on just hating, and he never liked to be reduced to that.

"Don't worry," Zam replied with a smile, "I won't betray you anymore. I've learned my lesson." For a single, unified moment, they were back in the snow-covered castle. Mapicc nodded. He knew he would never be able to trust him the way he trusted him then – unconditionally, absolutely – but that didn't mean he couldn't trust him with his back and his life.

In reality, his hands are shaking so much that, for a moment, he doubts whether he will ever be able to hold a weapon again, and it terrifies him. He is complex and simple, he reads people through and through, but misses the betrayal of the nearest one, he is smart and strategic, but at really important moments only a berserker who wants more deaths. He wants to cry, but he can't. He wants to give up, but that word is not in his vocabulary.

You whisper to MinuteTech: where is his body.

MinuteTech whispers to you: the podium

He is preparing a battle kit. He is preparing to die. He's going anyway.

There are people on spawn, and he appears to them, smeared in blood, carrying a trail of corpses in the shadow, with crazy eyes and still fingers. Guilty and innocent, dangerous and harmless, they don't bother him – in tunnel vision, he goes to the podium, and then just stares.

Zam looks peaceful. He is bloody from head to toe, and holes in his clothes mark the places of severe wounds, but he is smiling, and his whole body is covered with sakura flowers. It's a disgusting sight. He seems happy.

It seems that someone is trying to talk to Mapicc, but he does not hear a word. He carefully takes the body off the podium into his arms and just looks at it for a long moment, completely not understanding how they got to this point. Just a couple of hours ago, Zam had thirty hearts, and Mapicc was sure that he didn't have to worry about him. Now, he was dead. Mapicc opens his wings and takes off. No one follows him.

Ultimatum: You don't trust a Lifesteal member who is not your ally with absolutely anything. Immediately after the disaster, Mapicc and Zam took Bacon's body and buried it in the middle of nowhere, because the idea of using it against them was much worse than not being able to let him rest in his home. Mapicc flies there again, remembering the coordinates by heart.

He buries Zam very close to Bacon, almost shoulder to shoulder, and then stares at the graves for a long time. Both of his closest allies were banned on the same day. Those with whom he dreamed of meeting the finale, which he desired more than anything else, are now almost unattainable.

You whisper to Roshambogames: if i die, bury me next to them.

Roshambogames whispers to you: of course.

He tears his hand into a bloody mess with his bare fingers. The hatred in him is a beast, eager to tear apart everything in its path.

"Wemmbu better resurrect you both next Saturday," he hisses, "or I'll crush the skies to kill him."

He leaves without looking back, walking along a path that uncomfortably reminds him of something from the past. An hour later, he obtains immortality.

[screechingfromthevoid]

So like they've been talking a lot about how they're all a bunch of fuck ups. And while sure they're all a little unstable and unpredictable, I don't really think they are fuck ups? Outcasts sure. People who have had a lot of bad shit happen to them? Yeah. People who have made mistakes? Who hasn't.

Like Laudna didn't really fuck up. She had the worst things imaginable happen to her, then was given exactly 0 time to heal. All the while she was being manipulated by someone who was supposed to "care" for her.

Imogen was neglected by her father and ostracized by her town and honestly came out as normal as she probably could have. When she was out on her own, with Laudna, they seemed to do pretty well?? It's just, being the leader of a group is new to her. It takes a while to adjust.

Ashton was used as a science experiment by their cult leader father. Then was dropped in the middle of nowhere where they found a family that didn't love them as much as they loved them. They had to make a lot of hard decisions on their own and just because they're not lawful good decisions doesn't mean they were wrong or bad.

Fearne being classified as a fuck up because did meet her warlord fathers expectations is crazy to me. (I know what they were getting at by calling her a disappointment. Doesn't mean I have to like it) On top of that, she had years stolen from her as a price for her parents actions.

FCG was programmed a certain way and they fought against it at every point they could. Their literal programming. Being taken over by something hardwired into I don't think counts as fucking up?

Braius was lied to then excommunicated. it seems like letting Nott and Jester in was like the only thing he did wrong his entire life?? He was hella devout before that??

Chetney is 4,000 years old and fucked his way through exandria. He doesn't have a family to disappoint and hes been making children's favorite toys for like ever. He hurt some people along the way but like. Does that constitute as being a fuck up?

Dorian literally did what he was supposed to do. His parents had a rumspringa and to imply that he's a fuck up for literally doing a rite of passage is beyond me. (If you wanna talk about fuck ups ask me about Cyrus) And even on his rumspringa he became one of exandrias greatest hopes.

And Orym. His insisting incident? The thing that set him in this course? His husband and father dying. In the same battle that he fought in. That's the thing he "fucked up" on. Failing to save those closest to him. And idk I think it's pretty cruel to call him a fuck up for not being able to save them against Otoha. Who also killed him.

[thevanillerose]

LEATHER | DABI x BLIND!READER | MY HERO ACADEMIA

~ WRITING COMMISSIONS ~ ~ PATREON ~ ~ KO-FI ~

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own anything except my own writing. All properties belong to their respective creators.

Coarse. Soft. Plush. Hard.

Your world was defined by these words. It always had been. Blind from birth, you were used to being steeped in darkness, but because you had never known anything different, it wasn't something that made you feel bad. If anything, you weren't sure why people felt so sorry for you. Why they would express such pity towards you when they found out about your affliction.

You were getting on just fine, right? So truly...there were people out there who were far more deserving of their well meant concerns than you were. You didn't need anyone to worry over you.

Perhaps the only thing you wished you could have sight for was to know what you looked like. Somehow your parents were a perfect image in your mind, it was as if you could envision them anyway, despite your own impairment. When it came to you personally though, well...you didn't have the faintest clue.

Were you ugly? Pretty? People always claimed it was the latter, but how were you to know if they were lying or not? There was truly no way of telling.

So that was maybe the one thing that did bother you. The rest of it though, you could deal with. You would be alright.

In fact, you were so brave with it that you would walk home alone at any time of night, no qualms about it. Sure, there had been talk of a mysterious killer on the loose lately, but the most you had heard were vague rumors that you strongly doubted held any actual water.

Like hell you were going to get scared!

Once again, you were out in the early hours. Your senses were always on max settings anyway, so if someone happened to be pursuing you, you would pick up on it in a split. However, it wasn't what lay behind you that you needed to worry about.

A few steps forward, and suddenly you bumped into something. Staggering backwards, you immediately registered that it was a person, and instantly doubled over into a respectful bow of apology. “Sorry! Excuse me...I didn't see you there...” It was quite amusing to use a line like that, given that it was rarely so literal.

The fellow turned and cast his piercing turquoise eyes upon you, observing you in silence. The air was immediately tense.

Dabi hadn't been expecting you to run into him out of nowhere. The streets were usually quiet at this time, he'd go looking for trouble in certain spots sure, but those were usually the obvious ones, like your sketchy backwater nightclubs and 'massage parlors'.

One look at you, and he was confused. “...What are you doing out here alone?”

Male...I figured. Judging by his voice...he's probably around my age...

 “I...I usually come out at any time, really. I was just picking up some supplies-”  You held up the plastic bag filled with goodies from the 24 hour mart. He stared at it for a moment, before letting his eyes flicker back to you again.  “It's dangerous.”

 “Well-” you lowered the bag and shrugged, “-I know that's what they say but...if I stayed inside just because I was scared, it would be like handing over control to whatever bad guys are out there. It would be like they were already winning.”

 He quirked a black brow. Interesting take.

 “...You're brave.”  You heard him take a few steps forward, around your side, behind you. Shuddering, you could sense his fingertips gliding ever so lightly against the back of your shoulder, across the nape of your neck and to your other arm.   “How do you know you've not just run into an enemy though?”

 Well now you were really wondering.    “...Because...you're standing out here on the pavement, right by the road. People like that usually lurk in the shadows...”  “It's dark enough out here though.” he stated, as he circled around to your front again, and you could sense him standing closer than before, “There's nobody else around...no cameras watching...just you and me. I could get away with anything.”

 Now the fear was setting in. He was certainly talking like a killer...so could he really be? You swallowed uneasily and tried to step around him, but his hand caught your side and pushed you back, prompting you to drop the bag as you jolted. Those cartons of chocolate milk you'd bought were scattered.

 “Please, I don't want any trouble!” you insisted, and he tilted his head.  “Maybe you should have watched where you were going. Maybe you shouldn't have been walking out alone at night.”  “I-I'm entitled to!”  “So am I.”

 “...You're the killer they've been talking about?”  “Maybe.”

 This was insane. Even you felt like you were being reckless now. However, you needed to find some way to excuse yourself or run from him. You'd worry about calling the police when you were somewhere safe.  Then again, what would you even tell them?

 “Look...I...if you let me go I won't say a word...” you promised, but he simply scoffed.  “Yes you will, don't lie. You're going to file a police report at the first chance you get.”  “No! No I won't because, because I wouldn't even be able to in the first place!”  “...And what is that supposed to mean? You've seen my face, my location, I basically admitted to you that I'm the killer. Of course you can file a report.”

 “...” Telling him this seemed like as much of a bad idea as a good one...but you would do it.

 “...I...I don't know what you look like. I can't see you.”  There was a long pause. Dabi stared at you, blinking a few times, before leaning in just a little bit.  “...Excuse me?”  “I-I said I can't see you. Because I'm blind.”

 That threw him for a total loop. He hadn't been expecting it. Though now that he really looked at you, he supposed that your eyes weren't really focusing on anything in particular, and they certainly weren't looking at him. So, well, he believed it.

 What now?

 “...Okay. So you're blind. I suppose that...removes the problem for me.”  “A-are you still going to kill me?” you dared to ask, and there was another frightening pause, before he sighed.  “...No...There's little point in it. Just another mess I'd have to clean up.”

 Instantly you were almost bowled over by a wave of relief.  “Th-thank you!” you gasped out, and quickly crouched down to find the items you'd dropped. Dabi watched you fumbling for a moment, your hand patting the ground as it tried to find what it was looking for.  

 He didn't quite know why. Perhaps there was just something tender about you, either way, he ended up crouching down to pick up the carton.

 At the very moment he reached out though, so too did you, and for a split second, your knuckles brushed.

 Instantly you recoiled and gasped. What you'd just touched, it was unexpected.  “What was that??”  “Hm? Oh right...you can't see it.” Dabi sighed and put the carton back in the bag but remained crouching there in front of you, examining his own hand. “...My skin isn't really what you'd call regular.”

 Admittedly, you were curious. He seemed to be behaving more calmly and rationally right now too. Would it really be so bad if you asked?

 “May I...touch it again?”    “Huh?” Dabi quickly looked at you, brow furrowing. “...Why?”  “Because I...I suppose I'm just curious. I won't if it bothers you...I've just...never felt anything like that before.”

What am I doing? What am I doing!? This guy's a killer!!   ...Why am I being nice to him?

 Perhaps the better question would have been vice versa. For Dabi actually conceded, brushing your hand with his again and allowing you to gently run your fingers up his wrist. You didn't even know his name, and yet you were crouched on the ground with him, caressing his arm and feeling how rough, tight the skin was...like it had been burned to a crisp.

 “...What happened to you?” you had to ask him, noticing there were hard staples plastered in there too, as if he were some zombie that had been stitched up. Your curiosity got the better of you, and you reached up with both hands this time, laying them gently against his cheeks and cupping his face.

 His jaw was much the same. It felt similar, like he was damaged. But you could tell his face wasn't unpleasant. He had a good structure, you could tell-  “What are you doing?”  His voice suddenly sounded, a little sternly so, and his hands took your wrists just to guide them down again. Hesitating, you lowered your head.

 “I'm sorry...I act a little rash sometimes...”  “...It's fine. I can tell.” he uttered, but he hadn't let you go just yet. “...But I think I'd rather know about you. How did you become blind?”

 This was such an odd situation to be in. Confessions on a dirty pavement, and confessions to a supposed killer no less. What if you said the wrong thing and he just ended you right here and now? This scarred man did seem to have a cold disposition...but for some reason...you wanted to open up to him anyway.

 “I didn't really 'become' blind, I've been like this from birth.” you explained, and though you couldn't see it of course, his eyes widened.  “...Oh?”

 “Yeah, so...hah...I don't even know what I look like. Sometimes I imagine I must be the scariest thing walking around out here.”

 Dabi's hands slowly slipped away, making you worry. He laid them in his own lap, and watched you. The concerned emotions flickering across your face, like you were suddenly fearful you'd admitted too much. You were obviously nervous around him, but it was like you didn't want to deter him either.

Is he really the killer? I want to run, and yet...I don't.

 His hand slowly extended towards you again. That unmistakable touch against the skin of your cheek, as he let it rest against your face. You could feel his thumb, gently rubbing in a circle. Your hammering heartbeat slowly calmed. You found yourself sinking against his palm.

 “You're a curious one. A bit of a weirdo.” he added, and cracked a smile you couldn't see. Maybe you somehow knew it was there regardless.

 “But...you're pretty too.”

Like my writing? I can write for you! Check out my WRITING COMMISSIONS!

[alientimes]

🀥 ᴀʟʟ ᴄᴜʀꜱᴇꜱ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ… ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ?

➩ Who dyed this guy's hair? (1)

House hunting was not easy.

Sukuna had come to this sad, sad realization after plopping himself down at an internet café and discovering the wonder of web surfing. Unfortunately, he also learned that humans loved taxes and expensive prices just as much as they liked food. And although he certainly had a lot of money, it was nowhere near enough to get him a house. Or even an apartment. No, he came to the horrible conclusion that he had to room with someone. Honestly, the mere thought was the most disgusting thing in his life, after the brat. But if he were to complete his goal of world domination, it had to be done.

At that point, he was so worn out from all this hard work he just accepted the first offer he saw. His sole glance at it showed it didn’t seem that bad, and at least had two separate bedrooms (which some strangely didn’t offer). He didn’t even check who his roommate would be, and honestly, he didn’t even care. If they pissed him off, he could just kill them, and really, if they were so broke they had to room with someone else, no one would notice if they just disappeared one day. He had the quick thought to just kill them right away, but remembered soon after you had to continue paying rent. 

This whole situation was a shame, sure, but he had plenty of experience sharing space with someone. Although he was only in Itadori’s (the brat’s) body for a couple of months, it was more than enough time to teach him how annoying this was going to be. Even worse, he couldn’t just sit around now. While being bored for a thousand or so years was excruciatingly painful, every moment he had to watch that boy’s dumb decisions was a hundred times worse. Still, there was no way in heaven or earth that it could be as bad as sharing a body with someone. After all, you couldn’t get any more close-contact-yet-unable-to-kill with someone. If he tried hard enough (which he probably wouldn’t, a thousand years of laying around did that to you), he could probably avoid seeing them altogether. It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to ask them to cook and clean, could it? Uraume did it easily, after all…

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Unsurprisingly, you don’t get a scholarship for life. While it would be nice if it did, your savings on money ended after college. Now you had to go back to exactly what you hated: rooming. Now, not all roommates were bad, of course, but you had a track record for having not just bad, but horrible ones. Unfortunately, you didn’t have enough money to rent by yourself, let alone buy your own house, even with all the (read: no) money you saved. And you certainly didn’t want to live with your parents. But on the lucky side, someone agreed to be your roomie fairly quickly, so you didn’t have to face any kind of disapproval, and you didn’t have to live in a caravan you somehow couldn’t afford. 

Your sure to be new best friend didn’t come with a photo, but they did have a name. Sebastian… Sebastian something. You didn’t bother to look at his last name. You thought he had a proper identity, but without the photo, your mind spun up scenarios of serial killers. But that was just you overthinking it. The chances of him being a horrible murderer were basically zero. Of course, basically zero wasn’t exactly zero, but the chances were so slim you managed to push it out of your mind. Well, more like forget about it within five minutes because you became so anxious about your first impression with this guy.

Speaking of first impressions, you were becoming more and more certain that this one would be horrible. Horrendous, in fact. Unspeakable, if you were being generous. You weren’t exactly known for your social adeptness, after all. You’d even call yourself a (anxious) yapper. What if you talked his ear off so much he pushed you out a window, or didn’t manage to sprout a single word, and made the entire situation awkward? What were Sebastians even like, anyways? You had never met a Sebastian before. Were they nice? Mean? Chill? Serial killers? Who knows? Only Sebastians, you presumed.

Most of all, you really, really hoped he didn’t judge you for your interests. Now, it was common decency to, at the very least, not show that you didn’t like something your roommate did, but clearly your anxiety didn’t know that. And it wasn’t like you liked anything too weird, either (or at least, you assumed)! Just a couple of mainstream things, Jujutsu Kaisen, Demon Slayer, Chainsaw Man… well, maybe your interests skewed a little more to the bloody side, but they weren’t all like that! You could settle for a few comedies, and you watched a good show on Netflix every so often (Would sharing your Netflix password make him like you more?). 

And now your anxiety was ramping up even more. Maybe this isn’t the right thing to do, but you’re not a therapist. You took a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself, and buried all those frantic thoughts in the deepest, darkest corners of your mind, along with some other things that actually belonged there. At least you didn’t have to worry about mixing up stuff and unpacking at the same time, because you had already done that. Great, now you were wondering if you should help him unpack his stuff. Really, this shouldn’t be something to overthink about.

chat i don't know how house hunting (also roommate dealings) work pls don't come after me

also it's actually longer (by abt 300 words) yay!!! <3 actually did a goal i set for myself for once

sorry it's late tho lol, idk when next update will be but hopefully also in abt a week

[fallencelsetial]

I’m gonna be cringe for a second but I have not stopped thinking about it since last night. And I’m just like…metaphorically cuddling Garu.

As someone that has trauma induced memory loss, I’m just really latching on to the boy.

[popsicle-stick]

WAHOOO my drawing ability has returned!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seward be upon ye.

[moonkhao]

hi.

[annyankers]

I’m once again irrationally mad about how people complain about the magic metaphors in buffy work (the whole dark magic=addiction, wicca = gay shit thing).

Like I cannot express how frustrating it is to see people bitching about how things like Dark Willow “don’t make sense” because “magic/Wicca was a originally metaphor for queerness“ or whatever as tho the first two major episodes in the series where magic was used (1x3 “Witch” and 2x8 “Dark Ages” ) weren’t all about the dark/inappropriate/destructive/abusive use of magic.

People loooooooveeeeee Giles’ past as Ripper and delight over things like “Band Candy” where we see him go Full Ripper but cannot for the life of them seem to remember that we first even LEARNED ABOUT THAT PART OF HIM IN DARK AGES WHERE HE TALKED ABOUT BASICALLY MAGICALLY PARTYING SO HARD HIS FRIEND DIED. THIS IS OUR FIRST MAJOR CHARACTER EPISODE THAT’S GOT MAGIC AS A MAIN FOCAL ELEMENT! THIS IS THE ORIGINAL METAPHOR!

The queerness is still kinda baked in there because of the Ethan Of It All but it’s first and foremost a metaphor about like, all the shit that classically leads to substance abuse and the worst outcomes that can come from it. Willow and Tara are an example of the “good” side of magic ( I’ll say Jenny is also in this section but they do so fucking little w/ her technopagan-ness so). They’re also pretty explicitly said to be “Wiccans” which I also have some issues with because of how Wicca is portrayed/talked about in the show (the Silver RavenWolf energy of it all is so galling). But like, that’s literally a whole fucking different subsection/practice of witchcraft/magic. This is like getting mad at water polo for muddling the metaphor of jet skiing. Like yes, they both are water sports but I think you’ll that they’re not the same fucking one and work completely differently.

Magic is not just 1 set of spells and rituals, it’s a multifaceted, multilayered, multi-pathed thing. With Giles we see how it can go Very Wrong and with Willow and Tara in S4-5 we see how it can go Very Right (and how it can be used to help get the Gay in the show around the Fox Censors). Willow increasingly having issues with magic/substance abuse is NOT a mixed metaphor/bad writing/ruining the gay metaphor and implying gays are bad. It’s USING THE OTHER ALREADY ESTABLISHED MAGIC METAPHOR AS PART OF HER CHARACTER ARC. WILLOW CAN BE QUEER AND ALSO HAVE A SUBSTANCE ABUSE ISSUE! GILES ARGUABLY DID IT FIRST ANYWAY (again, the Ethan Of It All)!

Willow has ALWAYS been insecure, a lil bit of a control freak, someone who wants to be HER REAL SELF and also someone TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Like she wants to be Willow but only if it’s a Willow who’s better/cooler/stronger/prettier etc. Someone who’s not the “pathetic loser” she still sees herself as even in season 6 and hasn’t totally shaken in season 7. These desires both to feel more In Control/Better and Not Yourself are classic reasons people will turn to substance abuse. For Willow is it MUCH easier to do a wizard spell to “fix” a problem than it is to like, fucking confront her issues of self-loathing and self-worth and like.... go to therapy. And that’s what gets her in trouble just like it has for so many others before her. Like in many ways Dark/Addict Willow is like seeing Giles’ Ripper Era live and on screen plus maybe a lil bit on steroids.

Magic can be used as part of more than 1 metaphor and the substance abuse metaphor came first. Stop pretending like it never existed in the show until season 6.

[marsbotz]

i find it veryyyy very funny when ppl hate on theatre. and especially musical theatre. thats where all ur favs came from......

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

I've seen a few posts recently where people have had a highly negative reaction to someone else claiming shows they like (cough MAWS) are copying others and like-

We have this gut reaction when someone says "copy" to assume the negative. To copy is to steal, we think. And we have the automatic urge to defend the art we like (even without reading the full post cough cough). And like yeah, why wouldn't we? I know I've done it.

But copying can be positive, and I don't think some of yall know that. Like, most art is copying something else. That's how art works: inspiration. Subconsciously, intentionally, all art is derivative. Style, contents, whatever. Sometimes it's a blatant ripoff, sometimes there are fun homages, sometimes you have a green multiverse plotline with evil Supermen who give the main one morality issues (aka could use just a little tweaking in the separation department). And that is more often than not a very very positive thing.

Power Rangers for most of its run has just been literally recycled footage from Super Sentai with plot to fill the gaps between fights. The Ninja Turtles were a parody of Daredevil. Daredevil is a shameless Batman rip. Shazam was a shameless Supes rip. And so on and so on.

You get it?

[that-cynical-bittch]

The new episode of gen v sucked 😭

[hotdogmchiggin]

Motherfuckers stole my hearts cant have shit in hyrule

Glad we all seem to be united in the shared experience of being pantsed by these guys with nothing but four hearts and three sticks we found on the ground

[dandyshucks]

sorry for another "i wont be as active for a bit" post (and then i'll probably come crawling back rly soon like all the other times bc i learn to cope w worsening conditions and return my usual haunts again fdsjkl) but uhmm i cannot draw and i can barely think straight. so we're going the "less active" route it seems! not that it matters much but. just in case it does last longer than a few days that's the update o7

[hella1975]

hella idk what to send to you for aftg im either bored or annoyed and I don't wanna just say bad things about it 😭 like that's just rude and yall obviously like it I DONT WANNA BE SOME DEBBY DOWNER MDMWKEM

I looked at the anti aftg tag too to see if I could intermingle there and last I checked it was a mix of fans obsessed with the series and haters being just a tad harsh imo, so i couldn't even do that RIP. I'm so lonesome in what is maybe a whole group of people gaslighting me 😔👊

honestly ive said this before and i always have to tread a very fine line with it because this isn't me saying it's OKAY or like. promotable. but i do think to an extent that aftg's problematicness is actually an aspect of what draws people in a lot. like the characters and their reactions to things feel real for who they are, what they've been through and the environments they were raised in if that makes sense? and then you go in the anti-aftg tag and it's just again and again 'they said THIS thing and acted THIS way in response to THIS scenario and it was PROBLEMATIC' and like. yeah. outside of the internet bubble you're in people do actually do that. like that behaviour exists. it IS problematic, well done. you pointed at a wall and called it a wall. but like? in real life people - PARTICULARLY deprived, traumatised people that typically don't ever get therapy or community or someone telling them why something is bad - DO act this way. ive said half of my love for andrew is literally just because he took an awful backstory and let it make him a complete cunt and ive NEVER seen a character do it as shamelessly as him before. and yeah there's the argument for how it's never resolved in the book where nora ties it with a bow and points at the bad behaviour so the readers can go 'see, this is wrong' and we all clap, but idk it just for me feels that when people point at the aftg characters and go problematic! problematic! problematic! it's like they're missing the point a bit.

the point being? that we need to be putting WAY more heat on the author. i really dislike her and a lot of her writing choices and her insistance of using slurs that aren't hers to reclaim and just because it happened to make the characters feel just that bit more authentic i can still acknowledge that she CLEARLY wrote it without characterisation in mind and just added all that problematic shit anyway. like i never get why there's so little focus on nora's writing decisions and thousands of posts just fucking CRUCIFYING the characters themselves and 'let's explain in detail why this behaviour is Morally Reprehensible and they should be Locked Up Forever'. like if u want to focus on the characters so bad and pretend they're the sole reason why aftg is Problematic and Bad then why is it so hard to acknowledge that someone raised the way they were might have some misinformed, ignorant beliefs. idk lol

[mayplantstarrwaters]

teenagers are always fun and wear fashionable clothes you guys just hate to see the younger generation having fun without you