#n after that everything changed

[noxtivagus]

IT'S YUNA

[palismet]

the alt. thanks to them opening boards are going to emotionally scar me for life. look at his face. luz is terrified but desperate with a hope she feels is unfounded, needing that optimism to imagine a way out of this that doesn't hurt; that doesn't end in more tragedy?

she thinks they're on the same level of bad but sad. that she did as much as hunter in the name of helping belos, without knowing the whole truth of who belos was, who he is. she's traumatized by it.

she needs to not be alone in it.

the i'll keep your secret if you keep mine is a knife to the heart. we are in this together, she is saying. whether we like it or not, at least we have each other. at least i'm not alone.

but what do you say to that? how do you make a witch's oath without magic? you take it to heart. you hold it closer to anything. there aren't words for a devotion like that, the kind of devotion hunter has led with his entire life, and now, here, it's for luz. it's for everyone, for protecting them, to be able for them to get home again.

it's reminiscent of that good old golden guard loyalty, but remade in the light of this new world, new life. it's a cause to live by, a goal, a dream; and as the story goes, we can see - there isn't much he isn't willing to sacrifice for it, especially if the cost is only himself.

(he has nothing to return for, after all. he has a graveyard, filled to the brim with bones and masks and a future he only narrowly escaped.)

sacrifice - that is something he's been waiting for his whole life. so of course he's willing to risk everything for them. what better ending is there, where at the very least, his friends can go home to where they are loved? where no one has to be afraid, anymore?

[cosmocove]

forgot to post these whoops

[rosemaze-reveries]

if i ever get reincarnated i hope its as his wristwatch

[cosmik-homo]

It seems people are getting hype about Magical Girl As Horror Lately? and idk the main concept ive been revolving around- for an au I prommy ill write something for soon ok- is, like. Not exactly magical girl as horror but magical girl as. It is so so unfair. Imagine you had a falliable, human, imperfect body- imagine, even, it was unsatisfying, not fitting to you, or misfunctioning in ways that impair your life. and imagine being granted the ability to loan a perfect body made out of light and flowing with power and perfection, a poised, radiant body- only to turn back .only to have that other form only validated to help others. only to have a real actual mystical voice which claims important in the universe claim that to be or do good your own body really isnt enough?

Just. Having a good body you can turn into as if thats ok to do to someone, give them that and take it away

[quixot1sm]

can we hear about like. n and hilbert. specifically in the hilbertverse. you mentioned them being fast friends and im likeoh..... like. it makes the games even more devasting. and i want to hear about it

n and hilbert good god n and hilbert. very very long summary ahead because jesus there's so much to them.

so like- yes, their first impression upon meeting each other was very much a "this guys not like anything i've ever encountered before. i wonder what his perspective is." which is a nice way of saying wow this guys weird i would love to study him. and despite their clashing opinions on how the world should be (humans and pokemon cohabiting vs humans and pokemon being separated entirely), their shared genuine passion for the well-being of pokemon meant that they listened to each other. before meeting, n had never expected anyone claiming to be a trainer to actually care for their companions, and hilbert had truly never recognized that there were people out there who mistreated pokemon, or took the time to consider the ethics of battling and capturing...

aside from that too, n and hilbert connected in a way that they just hadn't with anyone else. they're both socially awkward, they have reasons for sometimes feeling like outsiders, they both have an undying curiosity towards the world around them. hilbert wasn't an inherently gifted battler like his sister, but he was and is very knowledgeable about pokemon as living beings. he loves them! and n can understand them even better than he himself can, that's as incredible as it is fascinating. and n, even with his disdain for humans, finds himself relieved and enthralled to have found someone like himself, someone who engages with him as an equal.

the two of them almost immediately come to enjoy spending time around one another. they have a lot to talk about- experiences and thoughts so far removed from the other's own that it's sometimes difficult to grasp, but definitely worth hearing. hilberts really excited to have bonded with someone new so shortly into his first real venture into the world on his own (and like... a pretty, charismatic person at that, but that's... well he'll package that away until the time's right, probably). ns found his first genuine relationship with another person, and he can't help but be happy with this.

by nimbasa, n really, truly believes that hilbert's understands them and where theyre coming from, and that if they reveal their association with team plasma, everything will click into place, and hilbert will join their cause alongside him. but when n tells hilbert this... he can't. he just can't. his pokemon are like family to him, and he can't stomach the thought of abandoning them, or the other trainers and pokemon who care about each other being separated just to stop the despicable few. n is crestfallen. and honestly, hilbert is too.

there's something very, very wrong with plasma, and n is oblivious too it. they have to be- hilbert knows n well enough at that point to know with certainty that something is going on behind their back, as hes witnessed firsthand plasma committing acts that n would never forgive. and besides.. n is fully aware of how important hilberts pokemon are to him and vice versa. the idea that n would want, and given the power, force them to separate is a heavy blow.

as much as it hurts both of them, this is where their friendship basically dissolves.

in the aftermath, heartbroken and desperate to ascribe some role that makes his bond with hilbert make sense, n latches onto the idea that perhaps hilbert is his counterpart- destined to face him in a battle for the fate of the future. for hilbert, that sucks even more! he doesn't want to hurt n, oh god he really doesnt. but n continues to mythicize the both of them and their relationship, and n found and was accepted by one of the legendary dragon pokemon, so hilbert faces the hard reality that he has to play into the role.

he's still reluctant as hell, his desire to protect everyone wavering as he tries to determine if stopping n is really the right thing to do, because as much as he hates to admit it, n's right, there ARE people out there who neglect and abuse pokemon, and there always will be as long as people and pokemon live together. can he in good conscious allow that to keep happening, just because he doesn't want him and his friends to be separated? is he being selfish? he's so uncertain in his ideals that zekrom doesn't awaken for him until the very last minute- only after his resolve solidifies upon seeing n's room does it recognize him as its hero.

hilbert's heart breaks for n even as he seizes victory from him. he really does love him, as a friend and otherwise, so to crush his dreams so thoroughly... n, meanwhile, even though n is certainly deeply disappointed in the outcome, looks at hilbert and sees the very incarnation of idealism. even in the face of truth, he strives to change the world in spite of it. and what could make someone more worthy of the title of hero than that?

then, hilbert gets badly injured in front of n, and suddenly n is beyond terrified. devastated by the revelation of how meaningless and fabricated their whole life, their whole identity, everything had been, and now the reason why his friend is suffering, n runs away.

he's upset, frustrated and hurt, but hilbert can't even bring himself to blame n. in fact, he feels horrible for upending his world the way he did, and he's scared because he doesn't know where n is or what they're going to do, or if ghetsis is planning to hurt them. it takes much longer than he would've liked to get anything to go off of, but eventually interpol relents and passes information of potential sightings along to him, and he finally sets off to try and find n. mostly, he just needs to talk to him and make sure he'll be okay.

unfortunately... he does not get the chance to do so. when he flies back to unova in a panic after receiving some kind of distress signal through zekrom, he's ambushed by ghetsis, and consequently sent into a long, comatose-like state within the dark stone.

n, during this time and as previously mentioned, balances their own self deprecation with total idolization of hilbert. hilberts no longer a person them- instead, he's a concept in human form, sent by the universe itself to open the world up to n. this obviously is suuuper unhealthy, but with hilbert gone (and dead, according to ghetsis during the climatic confrontation of bw2), there's not much to challenge n's way of thinking. that is until about 7 years since they last saw each other.

to describe what it's like during the kyubert arc.... is difficult. at the very least, the illusion that hilbert is more than human is shattered- he's painfully so, and he's real again, unlike the deified version of him that n had created in his mind, and that's horrifically evident. they're frozen to the spot, unable to act without extreme risk and thus helpless to do anything but look on and listen.

despite the absolutely terrible, mind melting situation hilbert is in during that time (re: locked in an alien fusion where it's near impossible to separate his mind from the two ancient dragons, overwhelmed mentally emotionally and physically, just having a horrible time) the conscious part of him sees that n is safe. their presence brings him comfort, even through that.

AFTER canon... well. n stays with him this time. after all that, you'd have to pry them from hilberts side with a crowbar. and hilbert, with a shoulder to lean on and someone who understands, even abstractly, what he experienced and how he now feels to try to live as a normal person, is more than glad to have him.

16 minute epic that encapsulates everything about their arc methinks

[miamierre]

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[funkbun]

looking at my eariler Loominbert drawings (back when they were just "Placeholder For The In Game Journalist") and it's funny how they have Not Changed in the slightest these past 3 years

[lexicals]

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[ajdrawshq]

8 days until the 8 game ................

[v41entine]

This is cool but is the icon just permanently there now I've toggled it so many times n it won't go away :(((((

[dexaroth]

i cant believe the day but i finally got a full tower pc. bought it already built and at a considerable discount of some 320 dollars off. its fucking huge and theres so many things going on inside... i was initially planning on choosing the parts myself but finding the graphics card was so hard and everyone else convinced me to just buy it built and honestly? good. id probably have fucked this up so badly by myself

i cant use it yet bc i took too long to buy the monitor that was also on sale and now its regular price -_- tho i managed to find a discount used one for now. well see how that goes since ill get it tomorrow. i tested it on out living room tv and it had some kaspersky thingy open and like thats so cute. i hope they left some treats in the browsing history for me to search through before i wipe it clean

[doctorwhoisadhd]

the library is being really inscrutable about Whether Or Not I Can Pick Up My Fucking Books, i CANT walk anywhere in under 45 minutes despite being a 6 minute drive from the library and the nearest place where u can buy food, and my mother went to fuckign COSTCO today and only bought chips that SUCK. im going to start biting.

[noxtivagus]

i shld sleep oh my god