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jiminsafairy · 3 days

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Darling, you are late - Seokjin (ft Namjoon)

Summary: Your husband is late to your baby making session, so you take the matter into your own hands.

Pairing: CEOhusband!seokjin x wife!reader (ft husband best friend!Namjoon)

wc:3k

Warnings: unprotected sex (they are trying to make a baby, duh), exhibitionism, he cums inside (duh), cockwarming, seokjin is a workaholic, pregnancy kink (lactation kink if you squint?), namjoon makes a cameo! reader gives him a bj while seokjin fucks her

"Sir, your wife is here" you hear his secretary say.

"Send her in", he answers, his voice distorted as it comes off the intercom.

"You can come in, Mrs. Kim" the old lady indicates.

You push open the double doors and stepped inside. The room was spacious and bright, with floor-to-ceiling windows that filled the space with natural light and offered a stunning view of the city.

To one side, a comfortable red velvet sofa provided a cozy spot to relax. The office was tastefully decorated with a few pieces of art on the walls giving the finishing touch.

In the center of the office stood a large wooden desk, neatly organized. Seated on the fancy chair was your husband. His eyes were fixed on the laptop screen, face scrunched in concentration, a frown creasing his forehead.

You couldn’t avoid the thought of how handsome he looked with his two-piece gray suit.

"Hello dear, give just one m- " your husband starts to say, but you cut him, angry.

"I thought you were coming home early!" you scold him, crossing your arms over your chest. After waiting for more than an hour you got tired of it and decided to take the matter into your own hands, driving across the city to his office.

"I’m sorry darling, had to attend a last-minute meeting and now I’m stuck with paperwork" Seokjin excuses himself, eyesight never leaving the screen.

"Don’t you know what day it is?!" you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

"I’m afraid you’ll have to refresh my memory, dear" he mumbles, not paying attention to you.

"It’s ovulation day! You said you were going home early!", you pout while walking up to his desk, the sound of your heels clicking on the floor.

"Gimme a ‘I’m sorry kiss’ at least" , you demand, and your husband finally takes his sight away from the computer. He looks at you with sorry eyes, and you lean in, allowing him to place a quick peck on your lips.”I love you” you say.

"Mmm, I love you too" he says against your lips, "Please wait for me just five more minutes and we’ll go home" he excuses himself, going back to his important CEO paperwork

"Darling but I’m bored! And horny!" ,you whine, getting behind him, placing your hand on his broad shoulders.

Placing your hands on his broad shoulders, you whisper in his ear, cheshire cat-smile on your face, "If you could do…" you place a soft peck against his neck," something…" peck, "to keep me entertained.." another peck, "while I wait…".

He lets out a sigh, knowing what your intentions were, but he caves in anyway, "baby, you can sit on my cock while I finish this paperwork, how does that sound?", he offers, leaning back on his chair.

"Terrific" you say while unbuttoning your blouse, and sliding it over your arms. No bra in sight, your big breast in full display for him.

Seojin looks at you with hungry eyes, "god, you are so hot." He pulls you gently by your wrist, bringing you close to him. "Do you need me to prep you, love?" your husband taking one breast on his mouth, tongue flicking against your nipple.

"No need Jinnie, I’m so wet already…" you say, unzipping your black midi skirt, the fabric pooling at your feet. You were not wearing any underwear. You grab his hand, inviting to feel for himself.

He inserts one finger inside your needy pussy making you moan, feeling your juices covering his digit. "You are such a dirty girl, going around my office with no underwear". Your pussy clenches around his finger. "Bet that’s why you are so wet" he coos, pumping his finger inside you a few times before taking it out, leaving your pussy clenching around nothing.

His hands go to his suit pants, pulling them down to his knees along with his black briefs, freeing his semi-hard cock. Just the thought of you walking around his building with no underwear makes his cock stiffen. You take his shaft in your hand and after a few pumps, it was hard and ready for you.

You sit on his lap, back against his, while he guides his cock inside your needy hole, rubbing the tip against your wet folds. "Oh god… so good", you moan at the feeling of his huge cock entering your pussy. "No matter how many times we fuck, I just love being stretched by your dick", you say, enjoying the feeling of being so full.

"My beautiful wife loves keeping my dick warm, huh? What a lucky man I am" he says, planting a kiss on your bare shoulder, "now be a good girl and lemme finish this, so we can go home and make some babies, yes?" he demands, giving your asscheek a quick squeeze, eyesight fixed on the boring spreadsheet again. His left hand goes to your nipple,and starts fiddling with it.

"Mmm…keep doing that Jinnie, feels so good…" you moan, leaning back against his chest.

The feeling of having your husband playing with your sore breast it’s good, but not enough. Too horny to keep your thoughts straight, you begin to squeeze your inner walls, making excuses to wiggle around.

"Stay still", your husband says, lowering his voice. He tugs at your nipple, making you moan. “I know what you're trying to do, you little devil” he warns, but you ignore him, clenching your walls again.

"But Jinnie I’m not doing anything!" you said mischievously, trying to hide a smile. But kept on clenching your walls.

"That’s it," Seokjin said as he lifted you from his lap, his cock leaving your aching pussy, "I’ve had enough, hands on the desk, ass up." You obey, placing your hands on the desk, leaning against it, lifting up your ass.

Being placed between his desk and the glass walls, anyone from the next building curious enough to look would be able to see the lewd scene the two of you were performing.

"You minx, you thought you were being slick, didn’t you?" he whispers and you feel his hot breath against your ear. "It’s time to show you who’s in charge.", he says, grabbing his cock by the base and giving it a few pumps.

He rubs the tip of his cock against your needy pussy. "Please love, just put it inside!" you plead.

"My wife wants to be bred, doesn’t she? Such a good girl” he coos. "I love you.” He declares as he buries himself inside your needy hole with one hard thrust, making you moan.

"Fuck! I love you!" you whimper,leaning on your elbows.

He starts pounding against your pussy, grabbing you by your hips.

"Fuck Jin, It feels so good! I feel you so deep inside me…please don’t stop!" you moan, closing your eyes in pleasure.

"Fuck, I feel your pussy clenching around my cock."

You two were so lost in the moment that neither of you noticed someone had entered Seokjin’s office and was standing next to you, observing the scene with curiosity.

"So, this is what the boss spends his time doing in his fancy office, huh?" the mysterious visitor said, looking at the situation unfolding before him.

"Shut up, Namjoon'' said Seokjin gasping for air, hips still bucking against your asscheeks, cock buried deep inside you, “we all know what you did at the Christmas party when you sneaked away to your office with that girl from accounting", your husband claps back, pushing his cock deeper into you. Even with an audience, you both were so caught up in the moment that the thought of stopping didn’t even cross your mind.

"Hi Nam" you chirp, looking at your husband’s best friend.

"Hey beautiful", your husband’s friend answers with a smile, flashing his dimples at you, "I just came to let you know that the Japanese investors have just posponed tomorrow's meeting...", said the man. The sentence was clearly directed at your husband, but his eyes were fixed on your tits, bouncing with each thrust.

"Message received. Now, if you'll excuse us, we're trying to do something important; this company needs an heir," your husband said, bending down to grab your tits with his big hands, pitching your nipples between his index and thumb.

"Alright, I'll leave," says Namjoon, but his feet didn’t move.

Your eyes drift down to the tent that has been forming inside his trousers. A wild thought crossed your mind.

"Jinnie, can I..?" you say, motioning with your eyes towards Namjoon’s boner.

"Oh, hell no!" he yells, stopping his pounding, but not taking his cock out.

"He cannot leave like that!" you laughed, "poor guy is going to get arrested for public indecency!".

Namjoon just stood there, watching as the lover’s quarrel took place.

"Alright, but it's just this once," your husband says, starting again to pump into your pussy at a slow pace, "You know I cannot say ‘no’ to you", he says with a smile on his face.

"I love you" you said cheekily.

"Yeah, yeah."

You looked at Namjoon, "would you take out your cock for me, Joon?" you said, giving him the puppy eyes, "I’m quite busy here", you say.

"On it, gorgeous", he said diligently, sliding his black suit pants down to his knees, black briefs following them. Big cock springing free, you couldn’t keep your glistening eyes away from it, amazed by the size. It was different from Seokjin’s. Not longer, that was a given – your husband has the longest cock you ever had -, but it was on the thicker side.

Namjoon grabs his cock by the base and rubs the tip against your lips. You take your tongue out and start giving small licks around the head, going slowly down to the base. Your husband’s best friend lets out a pleasure moan.

You put the tip inside your lips, liking the tip with your tongue.

"Fuck, she’s so good, hyung" he states, grabbing handful of your long hair, "her mouth is amazing."

"Yeah" he says, looking down at you. "My pretty wife gives the sloppiest blowjobs, right?". You mumble in response, mouth too full of cock to be able to articulate any word.

Namjoon’s hips start to swiftly buck against your face. You notice how much he’s restringing himself. And so does your husband.

"Are you going to let Namjoon fuck that pretty mouth of yours?" he coos, slowing down his thrusts. “Show him how good you suck cock?"

Humming in response, you relax your jaw, taking the full length inside your mouth. Immediately Namjoon starts fucking your mouth, right hand still on your hair.

"Hyung, can I?" he asks.

"Mmm… I guess you can" your husband says. You don’t know what they are talking about until you feel his fingers leaving your tits, and another set of - never felt before - fingers on you. "Her tits are the best, feel them for yourself."

"Fuck yes, I always though how good they’d feel" says as he feels the weight of your breasts with his hands. "So soft...so big they can barely fit in my hand" says, as he starts pitching your nipples between his fingers.

The feeling of having your husband plugging you with his cock behind you, and his best friend’s cock filling your mouth and abusing your sore nipples was too much to handle. The familiar pressure building in your abdomen, your aching pussy clenching around Seokjin’s shaft.

"She’s going to cum, she’s milking my cock so hard" Seokjin says, pumping hard, "keep doing it Joon'' he demands, as he leans on your back, his hand reaching for your needy clit. "You are doing so well, love, fucking me so good while sucking my best friend."

You moan, feeling so full on both ends. Pleasure becomes almost unbearable, you reach your orgasm between cries of pleasure.

"Fuck I’m close" whines Namjoon, hardening the grip on your breast. "Where do-?", he asks, as he starts to get his dick out of your mouth.

"Don’t move" orders seokjin. "You can cum in her mouth, she loves swallowing cum, don’t you, love?" he asks you, even though he already knows the answer. You do.

You hum in aproval, and keep liking Namjoon's tip with your tongue. Lifting one hand from the desk, you start fiddling with his balls.

"I’m cumming, f-fuck!" moans Namjoon, leaning back his head with pleasure. Hot spurts of cum filling your mouth.

"Swallow. Everything" Seokjin commands, and you are happy to obey, swallowing every bit of cum. "Good girl" he praises.

Namjoon flicks your nipple one last time, before taking his cock out of your mouth. “That was amazing, thank you beautiful”, says the man while pulling his pants and briefs up. You smile at him.

"Good luck with the heir thing!" was heard as Seokjin's partner closed the office doors.

"No more interruptions, my love. It's time for us to get serious," says Seokjin, slowing the pace of his thrusts and taking his cock out of your pussy.

"W-what?", You whine at the feeling of being empty, turning back to him. "What are you doing?!"

He grabs you by the hand, leading you to the couch. “Dirty girls like you don’t get my cum just like that, they need to earn it” he says, plumping himself there.

"Now ride me like the good girl you are" he orders, palming his naked thighs. "Show me how bad you want to be stuffed with my cum", he demands with a cocky smile adorning his beautiful plump lips.

You straddle him, grabbing his cock by the base and guiding it inside your pussy again, rubbing the tip up and down your wet slit. “Mmm, you feel so good”, you moan, closing your eyes. "I love you so much" you declare.

You gasp, sinking down on his long shaft, the change of position allowing you to feel him even deeper. "I feel so full, so stuffed" you moan, starting to rock your hips.

"You enjoy being full of cock, don’t you?" he groans, hands grabbing the flesh of your hips.

"Yes, I love your cock it’s so big, filling me so good…" you whine, pleasure becoming almost unbearable.

"I wanna see those big tits bounce, ride me faster" he demands, urging you to speed up your movements. You lay your hands on his chest, using them as leverage.

"Fuck, your pussy fills so good", your husband moans, sitting up and taking one nipple in his mouth. "I can't wait until these pretty tits are big, filled with milk" he whispers, his hot breath against your needy flesh."You'd like that, yeah?"

"Seokjin, fuck, I’m close", you whimper. The feeling of his hipbone gracing your clit with every move taking you close to your release.

He releases your nipple, leaving your tit glistening with saliva.

"“Such a good girl, riding me like that. I love watching you ride me" ,he praises. "I’m close too." he says as his hips start bucking to meet yours.“ Fuck I’m gonna cum."

"Seokjin!" you whine, "Fuck!", your orgasms taking over you.

"I’m cumming, fuck I’m gonna fill you so good, I love you so much" he groans. "Don’t stop baby, I’m cumming" he announces as you keep bouncing on his cock.

You feel his warm sperm filling you, hot spurts coating your walls, and lean to kiss him.You stay in that position for a few moments, indulging in your kiss.Until you feel his cum starting to run down your inner thighs.

"Oh, shit" you say, stepping out of his lap and sitting next to him. He looks at you, and to your surprise, he collects all the cum that had spilled from your pussy, "we cannot let even one bit go to waste," says, plunging you with his fingers. "Mmm… yeah" you moan.

Once you have collected yourselves, your husband says "now, get dressed, we are going home for round 2".

#bts #seokjin #seokjin smut #jin smut #bts smut #bts jin smut #namjoon smut #jin x y/n #namjoon x reader #established relationship #bts fanfiction #jin x reader #husband jin #bts smut fic #bts fic

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minniepetals · 8 months

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cry me a river | the habits

— summary: you are a weapon and weapons do not weep

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: angst, mafia!au

— word count: 6.4k

— warnings: physical abuse, violence, mentally unstable mindset

— PART 25 / previous post / masterpost

One.

Two.

Three.

The seconds will pass. The minutes will fly. The hours will go.

You’re alright.

Endure it. Endure it.

It will pass.

Everything will pass just as everything has always passed.

In time, father will raise his hand to indicate them to stop. A stop signal. He may leave the room out of boredom but he will return just as he always does in order to demand them to leave you alone. He will never be satisfied but there is always a limit to everything and father sometimes gets too bored to keep seeing it, to keep hearing it, so he’s always there to stop it.

Eventually.

You just have to endure it for now until the signal comes, until—

“What are you doing?!”

You didn’t realize it and perhaps that’s because you blacked out, your mind keeping you from feeling it all completely, trying to protect you, but you’re sitting on the ground when a call demands out an answer in a loud, commanding voice, and a rushing of a pair of feet running over to push Karl off you.

Asher punches Karl right in the face, throwing him off you, before demanding the guards he has with him to hold the man back.

“She provoked me!” Karl argues like a child in a kid’s play.

He’s never been abruptly stopped before. Always angry, never satisfied.

Nothing is ever enough when it comes to the two of them.

Karl landing hurt through his fists and weapons and anything he can get a hand on. Your father landing hurt through his commands, watching and watching and watching.

And you, their victim, who has to stay down and accept it all until there is a small amount of satisfaction that calls at them to stop.

You always wait on that call, no matter how much endurance it takes.

“That doesn’t make it right to lay your hand on a woman!” Asher retorts with anger laced in his tone, and this anger, despite how different it is from that of Karl’s, still shakes you violently though you keep as still as ever, paralyzed.

Paralyzed.

Even when the anger does not fall on you, even when he does not turn to you but towards the companion who stands behind you, who had stood still this whole time. “And what are you doing? Your boss was getting hit and you just stood there?”

Yeonjun, with a snap on cue, kneels over to your side and looks down at you with widened eyes and a frozen expression. He doesn’t touch you right away, cautious, but you see what those eyes mean, you know exactly what that expression is telling you.

That he, too, had reverted back to the past.

When your father still lived, when he had to stand by and watch everything without moving a muscle.

He reverted back just as you had.

Two little kids, who're still affected by the traumas of the past.

Two little kids.

You take Yeonjun’s hand, giving him the permission to touch you, so he helps you back onto your feet and the two of you remain in silence as you walk off with his help, not daring to look Karl in the eyes, not caring to reply to Asher.

But you feel yourself trembling with the presence of a pair of eyes boring right into your back. Not from Asher or Karl or the two guards but from someone else.

The ghost of him.

Of that man.

That man named father.

“Y/N?” There’s concern in Jungkook’s voice when you walk into the room and you guess that’s probably because of the state you’re in, but right now you can’t entertain him so you simply hold a hand up, asking him to stay back, and Jungkook, though worried, leaves the room on your behalf.

When you’re left alone with Yeonjun, you let your legs give in to sit on the floor rather than finding a chair or taking a seat on the bed.

The floor is comfortable. It’s always been more comfortable.

The boy takes your heels off, along with your jacket, and despite the sting of the pain that aches over your body, the only thing on your mind is the fact that you let it happen so easily, that you allowed yourself to walk back into that state of being an obedient and perfect little doll.

You reverted back to the damages just when you thought after father’s death, you wouldn’t let anyone walk over you anymore.

But it isn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

And it will never be easy.

Father still lives in your head rent free and there’s nothing you can do about it. No matter how much time has passed, nothing will change. It’s already been a little over a year since his death but he’s still here, still thriving, mocking you, taunting you, controlling everything that you are.

You’re shaking, trembling, not just out of fear but out of anger. Angry at yourself. For being so weak, for reverting back, for thinking things could get better.

And with Yeonjun the only one here with you at the moment, you lean into his touch and let yourself into his arms to allow the sort of warmth only your Reapers can provide you.

Yeonjun’s heartbeat won’t be the same as Mingyu’s, it’s probably even beating rapidly right now, so you don’t let your ear rest against his chest and instead wrap your arms over his neck and climb into his lap to lay your cheek against his shoulder.

Yeonjun brings his hand over to rub down your back but he’s a little awkward and unsure because he’s never really had to do this; comforting you. It’s always been Mingyu, and if Mingyu wasn’t there, it’d be Yuna, and if Yuna couldn’t do it, it’d be Dasom, or someone else.

Anyone else.

He’s only a kid after all, just eighteen years old, the youngest of your Reapers, but because no one else is here, he does his best to pick up the role that’s been given unto him.

Yet you feel him tremble slightly himself and you guess that in some way, he must be afraid as well.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers to you. “I didn’t…I…”

You know what he’s trying to say, that he failed you, that he couldn’t protect you. But can you really blame him? Because just as you’ve been trained to endure through the pains and take everything that’s given unto you, Yeonjun, the Reapers, were trained to stand by and watch.

Habits are scary.

Frightening.

And because you don’t know how to console him and he doesn’t know how to console you, the two of you remain in silence simply holding onto one another.

Just two little kids having to rely on each other.

Just two little kids.

And after a little while, when things have settled a little more, when he starts shaking a little less, Yeonjun gathers himself and forces himself out of the state he’s in.

He stands up and you watch him leave for a second, not too long, because he rushes, and returns with materials in hand to begin tending to you. It remains as quiet as ever between the two of you, but you see the way his brows furrow in concentration and he stops himself from staying in the mindset of a teenager.

Of a child.

He becomes an adult, a reliable adult. For you. Applying what’s needed on the bruises that have swelled up, wrapping your arm with bandages, and when you frown with disgust at the sight of the white wrapping on you, wanting it off, complaining, he doesn’t fall into your trap and stands his ground just as he’s seen Mingyu do plenty of times.

Yeonjun gets frightened of you at times but he always listens to your every command and does all that you ask him within a heartbeat, but today he grows a pair of wings and knocks you lightly on the head with his knuckles when you try to push him away, when you get stubborn with him.

“Do you want to die?” You glare at him but he doesn’t give in.

“You can kill me after I treat you,” he says and continues his ministrations.

“I hate it,” you tell him. “I don’t like it, this…this white.” You try to scratch at yourself but he grabs your hand before you can and your face scrunches up with anguish. “Get it off me.”

You tug the pearls on your neck and it scatters onto the floor but you don’t care and move on to the white dress, yet Yeonjun stops you once more.

“You’ll hurt yourself.”

“I’m not weak.”

“I never said you were.” And because he knows the signs, because he’s seen it plenty of times in you, he grabs the sleeve, rips it, then the hem of the dress, and tears that as well without doing too much. “See? Look. Imperfect.” You hate perfect things and seeing that, the tears of the dress, alleviate a bit of your drumming heartbeat, so Yeonjun grabs a pair of scissors to start cutting off bits of your dress.

All your life you’ve been told to be perfect, that everything you do must be under the command of your father. He made you into his perfect little doll, his perfect little weapon, prepared you for the battlefield, prepared you for war.

For the war that he brought, for the war that was his.

Or rather, he was the war itself.

You are a weapon, and weapons do not weep. Weapons are used and weapons do not run off on their own. Weapons are perfect, they fire at the command of their owner, they’re silent when told, and left to waste if they do not do their job.

You’ve never wanted to be left to waste, you’ve never wanted to be dropped back into an empty room, the White Room, and never picked up again.

“I look broken,” you utter a whisper as if shocked at the image of yourself when you look down at the mess of your dress and the white bandages on your body. Your brows are knitted, teeth grinding on each other, fingers dug into the skin of your palm, eyes red but as always, they refuse to cry.

Because weapons do not weep.

And Yeonjun, for a second, almost panics, thinking he did something wrong, but in Mingyu’s wise words, “Just because it looks like I know what I’m doing when it comes to boss does not mean that is the truth. It is far from the truth. There are times when it feels like I’ve messed up, times when I’m about to panic because she responds differently from what I imagined, but you cannot ever show her that you do not know what you’re doing. Ever. Just pretend when you’re in that position, and if you’re good at pretending, she won’t know a thing,” Yeonjun quickly pulls himself back up.

“You don’t look broken,” he puts the scissors down and takes your two trembling fists. “You look imperfect.”

You look imperfect.

Imperfect.

It does the trick.

He sees the way the crease between your brows starts to soften, how your clenched jaw loosens, the way you let him help your fingers unravel from the strength they held digging into yourself, and how your shoulders fall a bit from being so hunched up.

“I look imperfect?” You ask him, eyes wide and puppy-like, darting right to him and though they shake slightly, they look towards him for an answer, for reassurance, to detect any lie, to seek for the truth. But also pleading, also begging for him to say just that.

Even if the lie must disguise itself as the truth.

“You do,” so Yeonjun lies skillfully. “You look imperfect, boss.”

There’s a breath of relief, quiet and subtle, and it comes in a whisper just barely there. Yeonjun keeps you close and presses a palm to your chest, just where your heartbeat strums.

“Now count,” he tells you. “Mingyu says counting is good, right? Count until he gets here.”

“Is he coming?” You ask when he takes both your hands to take over where his palm once lay.

“Yes,” he lies again. He hasn’t made the call yet. “Soon.”

“You have to stay here.”

“I will.”

“No one can come in.”

“I know.”

“Don’t talk to him, don’t let Karl anywhere near me.”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

“I’m tired.”

“Alright, come here.” He pulls you in carefully into his lap, in his arms, and you let yourself be warmed and comforted in his arms once more, this time with your back pressed to his chest.

“I don’t want to sleep,” you tell him. “The nightmares…they’ll come. He’ll come. He’ll visit. And he’ll try to make me perfect all over again.”

He. Your father.

“I don’t want to be perfect.” It isn’t a command, it’s a plea. A desperate cry for help.

“Then don’t sleep. But count the heartbeats, yeah? Count.” The soft lure of his voice, gentle, encouraging.

With hands still pressed against your chest, you let your ear tune out everything else in order to hear the beat of your heart so that you can start counting them.

One. Two. Three…

It’s fast and you know that you can’t completely count every individual one of them but you try your best to simply concentrate on only that while your eyes stare out at the window a few feet away. The sun shines brightly from the opened curtains and there’s a small little bird perched on the closest tree.

It jumps onto a branch and rests there with its head moving about in different directions.

There are pretty white clouds up above and one of the bigger ones shapes like a castle and you imagine fairies up there, hiding.

There’s another cloud that looks like a cat and another one shaped like a ghost.

The wind blows and your eyes turn back to the bird that flies off.

Thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five…

It’s slowing down, just slightly.

“I heard what happened this afternoon.”

Kiwi keeps you distracted as he nibbles with your finger. You can’t recall when he’s decided to hang around you rather than his own master whenever you’re around but at least it gives you a reason to not look someone in the eyes.

“Would you like to tell me what happened from your perspective?”

Thirty-something years old. You can’t even remember just how old you are but lately, it hasn’t mattered in the slightest because you feel much younger than what you actually are. Like you’re twenty-something. Even a teen. It doesn’t feel like you’ve aged much.

Your birthday hasn’t been celebrated since your time at the Bangtan manor but it doesn’t really matter. Nothing really matters.

Because you feel like a kid back under the control of your father, having to do what you’re told, obeying his every command like someone who can’t do anything on her own.

Under scrutiny.

“What did Karl tell you?” You pop a question of your own, eyes still unfocused, mind still trying to pretend you’re fine, that you’re okay in a room full of strangers.

There’s only one stranger but a stranger nonetheless.

“He said you provoked him.”

“That’s right.” You don’t deny it and instead nod, expression blank so that Alexander cannot tell what’s going on inside your head. And maybe he does, maybe all of this faking is futile because he’s so wise, but you don’t care. You keep still, you keep vague, and you remain cold.

“Is that so…?” He trails off, perhaps thinking, and you can feel his eyes never leaving you. “And what was it that you did to have provoked him?”

“I told him something he didn’t like.”

“And what’s that?”

“That I killed his best friend.”

“And did you?”

“I did.”

“And who was that?”

“My father.”

He pauses, perhaps because he hadn’t expected that answer but you’re sure he’s thinking back on the moment when you first mentioned your father to him. The “story” you gave him was that your father passed away and was a good friend of Karl’s, though you never mentioned anything else about it.

And now here’s the answer; you killed him yourself.

“Is that why you let Karl do what he did?” He asks you. “Because you thought you deserved the punishment for what you did? Some people may not regret their actions but they’ll let the person most affected do something against them. Was that how it was?”

No.

No, not at all.

You didn’t let Karl hurt you because you knew he’d be hurt by what you did. You didn’t let him hurt you because you thought he at least deserved to lash his anger out on you. Or that you felt bad. Or that you wanted some sort of punishment. Or that you were repenting.

You let Karl hurt you because you’d always let him hurt you, just as you’d always let everyone hurt you.

Because that was how it always was.

A habit.

Being the weaker one, being the one who would chant the words endure, endure because that was what was instilled in you from the moment Mister Butler died. You cannot get out of your habits that easily, you do not just get stronger because you vow to yourself you will.

You don’t just get stronger and you certainly don’t just decide ‘I won’t let anyone step over me anymore’ and succeed on the first try.

Or the second try.

Or the third.

Even the tenth or hundredth time.

You let Karl hurt you because you were used to it and your body, remembering how it always was before your father died, returned to those habits.

The habits of staying still, the habits of enduring all that came at you.

“Yes.” But you lie because what else is there to say? You lie because there is nothing else to say. Because you don’t want to tell the truth. Because the truth means explaining and explaining means opening up and opening up means trusting and trusting never ends well.

You lie because you have to.

“That is all there is to it.” You put Kiwi down onto the floor and stand up straight, making sure to look in the old man’s direction with your hands held together in a formal stance. “Karl’s story is the whole truth. I deserved what he did, for killing his best friend, for killing my father.”

His brows are furrowed and you sense doubt in his eyes but because he has no proof and because you’re not willing to share anything else with him, he can’t push you too hard about the matter. “Whether that is the truth or not, do you really think a man much older and bigger has the right to hurt a woman younger and smaller in stature? No–” he fixes his sentence, “do you think a man is in his right to hurt a woman?”

“A man is capable of hurting anything that he wishes to hurt. He is in the power to do so.”

“You are strong, Y/N.” He stands to meet your eyes, serious, calm, and collected, but there’s a little twitch in his brows to indicate that he feels a bit frustrated by the situation. “You are capable of dodging his attacks. Even if a man were much bigger and stronger than you, you have the brains to outsmart them. You don’t look like someone who will easily let someone else step all over you.”

No. You are exactly just that. You are still the little girl you thought had changed. You’re still weak.

“So I’ll ask you again, Y/N; why did you let Karl hurt you?”

You hate feeling caged in and right now, despite the fact that only Alexander stands in this room, you feel eyes from all over. And maybe that’s just you being paranoid, maybe you’re just making it all up in your head, but you hate every bit of it.

Every bit of this.

“I gave you my answer, take it with a grain of salt. Do not pretend to be on my side.” And with that, you turn your back to him and walk off without another word.

Alexander doesn’t chase after you but you feel his eyes.

It’s ironic the way you’re supposed to be the one trying to gain his favor and yet this happens; you pushing him away and putting up your walls. And Asher makes sure to remind you of that.

“Isn’t the whole point of you being here to gain his favor?”

He stops you in the middle of the hall when you’re heading back to the guest room.

“Why?” He asks, genuinely curious, maybe even with a bit of genuine concern in that tone.

“Maybe I’m tired,” you say in a quiet voice.

“Of?”

“Of trying to be likable.”

He hums, considering the answer with his arms crossed over his chest and leaning against the wall. “And that young bodyguard of yours,” he brings up Yeonjun, “he may be a kid but don’t you think he deserves punishment for failing you?”

“No.” You reply easily and Asher raises a brow.

“You won’t punish him?”

“I don’t blame him.”

He watches you as if you were a strange being, like you weren’t making sense, though there’s a bit of unease that marks his features, some sort of disturbance that troubles his thoughts and you realize that you’ve said too much so you start walking again.

“My people aren’t allowed to act unless I tell them to.”

But Asher doesn’t want to leave it with just that. “You wanted my uncle to hurt you?”

“Nobody wants to get hurt willingly, Asher.”

“Then what is it?”

You’re talking too much.

“It is none of your concern, that’s what it is.” With that, you pick up your steps and walk into the room before he can push you any further.

Jungkook is in there when you walk in, and although being left in a room with just him should trigger some sort of response, surprisingly you don’t tremble that easily and perhaps that’s due to the fact that somehow, in some way, your body just knows that Jungkook doesn’t pose any threat to you. Perhaps because somehow, in some way, you’ve learned to put some trust in him in just the slightest way through the times he’s spent acting as your guard.

It’s been a little over a month.

Mingyu came here prior to your meeting with Alexander and surprisingly you didn’t need him as much as you thought you did. You think that’s because Yeonjun managed to calm you down well, despite his perpetual fear in the beginning. He picked himself up in time, after all, and was there for you by mirroring what Mingyu would have done.

Maybe in some ways, your right hand man has trained all the Reapers in how to respond to you when he isn’t around.

He took Yeonjun away for something, though right now you aren’t too concerned about it.

“..Kook.”

You feel tired, you feel drained, and that’s why you’ve managed to only call Jungkook by a shortened name.

He’s responsive at the first call, despite how quiet your voice is, and when he sees that you’ve given him permission to come in close contact with you, he doesn’t hesitate to walk over to you.

“Do you need something?”

It’s odd the way you feel some sort of relief he’s as responsive as he used to be all those years ago. Maybe because a part of Jungkook will always remain the way that he always was, maybe that’s why you’ve learned to associate him with a figure that you can put a bit of trust in.

“When are they coming?”

“They?” He tilts his head and when you reach a hand out towards him, he takes it in order to help you because you feel your legs are weak in the knees.

“Namjoon. Them.” He takes you to the bed so that you can lie down.

“In a month or so,” he replies. “You said as much time as you need to gain Alexander’s favor but the latest would be in a month.”

You’re already winning so what’s the point in waiting?

It’s been a month, over a month.

You just want to go home already.

“Can you call him?”

Jungkook looks for his phone. “What for?”

“Tell him to come earlier,” you say, body turned over towards him, cheek against the pillow, eyes drowsy. “In a week. I don’t…Karl has…I want him dead.”

For a second his thumb hovers over his phone to look back over at you and there he finds, the little girl he’s seen holding her walls up so high not even a plane can cross over, beginning to crumble in just the slightest way.

You look exhausted.

The makeup does not hide the bags under your eyes, it doesn’t hide the exhaustion, how drained you are over all of this. And maybe a part of that is due to your insisting to stay awake when you needed sleep but a big part of it is the mission itself.

Every mission is a little different from the other, but Jungkook has come to know that every one of them involves someone who has sucked all that sweet girl energy out of you. They’ve all done you wrong and it can’t be easy. It can’t be easy having to face all of them one by one, trying to deal with it all, trying to rid of them, and ultimately as a result, hurting yourself in the process.

“Kook?” Your eyes went closed for a second but upon his silence, you open them up again in order to look up at him, and due to your exhaustion, he finds the pretty girl he once loved all those years ago with the smallest voice as if calling out for him in a sense of help.

“I-I’ll call.” He’s flustered, slightly, but hits the call button with his thumb and walks towards the bathroom. “Stay awake, alright? I won’t be away for too long.”

He closes the door behind him to start looking around for something just as Namjoon picks up on the other end.

“Jungkook?”

“Y/N wanted me to tell you to come earlier.”

“Earlier?” It’s surprising on his end because just the night before, you told him to stick to the original plan. “Did something happen?” Of course something must’ve happened for you to change your mind so quickly.

In some ways you’re just as stubborn as he is, so he knows you aren’t someone who will change your mind that easily.

“This afternoon, uh…” Jungkook hesitates, not sure if it’s okay to relay him the news but something tells him you probably expect Jungkook to not stay silent about it to the boys. They share everything with each other after all, and if you really cared, you wouldn’t have let him anywhere near you after what happened. “Karl, you know, after touching her when she felt uncomfortable?” He did mention the incident a few weeks ago to Namjoon already. “Well, Y/N took up his invitation to tea in order to catch up and stuff and I assume she pissed him off.”

Somehow, Namjoon expected that. After all, you hinted at doing something reckless during your call with him.

“I’m not sure what happened exactly because I wasn’t there but Karl hit her.”

“What?” There’s some shuffling on the other end. “What do you mean hit her?”

“Not just once. She has bruises as a result.”

“Bruises?”

“I should get back to her, she might fall asleep but I’ll catch up with you later.” He doesn’t wait for Namjoon’s reply before cutting the call off and returning to your side out of worry that leaving you alone for too long won’t be good, and the fact that you might have actually fallen asleep on him.

Surprisingly you’re still awake, though your eyes are as droopy as they were when he left you.

“Can you turn over on your back?” Is the first thing he asks of you and you obey, turning over. The bed dips a little when he takes a seat beside you and that’s when you feel he begins to take your lashes off.

“You know there’s a lot of processes that go into taking off makeup, right?” You tell him when he takes the other one off.

“I know, bub, I’ve done it before.”

Right.

He’s helped you before.

“So just stay still, yeah? You don’t have to do anything.”

You listen to the lure of his voice, as soft as the way he used to speak to you all those years ago, and let your eyes close as he begins to swipe the makeup wipe over your face. It’s gentle the way he does it, almost as gentle as Dasom, and although he’s a little clumsy and isn’t as fast as she is, he does his best during it all.

When the makeup wipe is done, you feel your hair pushed back and a band coming over to keep it out of the way, then some sort of cloth on your chest and tied behind your neck.

Warm water walks over your face. Bits of it, not too much, not too little, so that you don’t get too wet anywhere else, and then the feel of soapy foam begins to rub in circles all over your face. The massage feels nice and you almost feel your consciousness slipping away but you keep awake to the touch of Jungkook’s hands.

About a minute later, he soaks a washcloth into water and starts to wipe the cleanser off you so that you don’t have to sit up and wash it off with water yourself.

It takes a moment but eventually, he gets it done, and then you feel a wet cotton pad swipe over next.

Something about all of this, the steps he memorized either for you from the past or the fact that he now does it himself regularly, feels rather domestic and just…soft.

And in your sleepy and tired state, you feel anything but uncomfortable, lured in with the feeling of basking on top of clouds with your head bathing under the warm sun with light little pitter patters of rain sprinkling over you.

You don’t know why you enjoy this so much despite how different it feels from when Dasom does it for you, but knowing that your trust is beginning to leak outside of Reapers somehow brings a sort of comfort you never thought you’d feel.

It’s a little frightening because trusting is always scary, especially for people that had once broken it, but for some reason, it just…feels right.

Somehow.

And maybe that’s because you know they were never at fault in the first place, that they were just forced into making an unwanted decision.

Jung Hoseok would probably be in the same position as they were were he to realize the truth all those years ago. If he hadn’t gotten hurt on that mission. If he hadn’t been forced to lay on the infirmary bed in order to recover. If he hadn’t stood away from the six of them.

Even still, as you’ve said it plenty of times before, just because someone doesn’t mean them doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt.

In the safe space that they provided you, you were kicked out of your own comfort and forced to return to the hell you thought you had escaped.

“Why do you not cry?” His voice keeps you awake and when you look up at him through your lashes, eyes feeling quite dreary and heavy, he finds himself pausing in his ministrations as he stares down at you who’s looking up directly at him.

“Why do you ask that?” You return a question, voice just as soft.

Jungkook’s eyes trail down your face. “Karl…he…” he didn’t see what happened but the aftermath of it is right before his eyes. “And Leehyun and…..” He presses his lips together. “You have..so much to cry for.”

“...Do I now?”

“Is there nothing left?” He asks, a hand brushing back small strands of hair that tries to block your eyes.

You don’t nod because you’re too tired to move so you nod through a blink. “It’s all dried up.”

From the water that he used to clean your face, a drop falls from your lash and trails down your cheek, mirroring what a teardrop looks like, and then you say, “But…if I knew how to cry……do you think you deserve to see them?”

He doesn’t reply but you have your answer.

He doesn’t feel worthy.

This Jungkook and the Jungkook you once knew long ago are the same in the way they always feel unworthy of something. No matter how many times you can assure him, he will always think there is something he can do better, that he is undeserving, that he can never be enough.

But unlike idiots who simply say “I don’t deserve you” and go about their days after breaking your heart, Jungkook says it and steps up to do what he can to try and prove to himself that he can be someone deserving.

He always did all that he could and when there came a point when he looked as if he could finally come to terms with being at peace with his love for you, it was ripped away from him all too soon and now he’s back to square one, trying to prove himself.

Even if it isn’t in the form of love.

Jungkook will always care.

But even still,

“I still hate you.”

It comes out soft, it comes out quiet, and a little timid and a little brave, but you hadn’t meant for it to come out.

If you were wide awake, if you weren’t in such a vulnerable state, you would have never spoken those words to him. But because your consciousness is on the verge of slipping away, you speak them out loud for him to hear.

“I know.” And he replies in the same voice, the same softness, quiet, and timid, and brave.

He doesn’t leave your side even after those exchanges uttered unto each other and you fall asleep next to his presence, next to his comfort, next to his warmth.

Jungkook wasn’t there when Taehyung said he witnessed you sleepwalking but he said that it wasn’t the sort of sleepwalking you’d see in a normal person. He said you looked like a ghost more than anything, and that at times, you’d just stand still in the middle of the room and not move an inch.

No, not a ghost. A corpse.

And now here he is, after endless refusal to sleep and finally allowing your eyes to stay closed, he witnesses what Taehyung had meant.

A corpse standing still in the middle of the room, blanket over her shoulders, eyes staring up at the dim sky outside the window, blank and without any hint of life in them.

He watches you from a distance, a furrow in his brows, with his tongue bitten back and his fists clenched by his side.

Subtle anger lies in his heart, brewing, not at you but towards the world that has made you into the sort of person you are today. Or maybe it had always been this way, maybe you had always been hurting and he just never noticed, maybe it was always like this all along and maybe, perhaps, they made it worse when they left you all alone to fend for your own self.

Feeding you to the wolves.

He’s angry not just at the world but at himself and Jungkook knows that if the truth were to ever leave your lips about what actually happened to you, about all the things that you’ve gone through, he knows that this hatred he feels right now is only but a small fraction waiting to build up before it all breaks into the tiniest little pieces.

Shattering in the way he had broken you.

Shattered.

The world can only do so much but he encouraged it by standing by, by letting it all fall down onto you, by letting himself be convinced that you’d be fine, that everything would be alright.

But nothing turned out alright.

In the days and months and years that followed your absence, they returned to how things were, returned to loving one another, accepting one another, forgiving one another. But in those days and months and years, he can only imagine what sort of events you had to face.

While they had each other, while they always had each other to lean on, did you have anyone by your side?

The Reapers may be one thing, supporting you and giving you their utmost loyalty, but did they ever hold power over the things that happened to you in the way Namjoon could have handled it? In the way he would have handled it?

“Y/N?” You don’t answer him when he calls out to you but he expected that so he walks on over to where you’re standing.

You’re as still as ever, and he approaches with a careful, watchful gaze, hesitant when he reaches a finger over to you.

A small touch to the blanket, just over your shoulder, and when you don’t freak out or move away from him, he puts two fingers.

Then another.

And when you don’t react to his hand, he proceeds to place a hand on your head and press it towards his chest.

You don’t resist.

“Come on, let’s head back to bed, yeah?” And understanding that you’re okay with him even in this lifeless state of yours, because he knows your body is capable of telling the people you trust and don’t trust apart, he puts his other hand under your knees and picks you up to carry you over back to the bed.

You comply well with him despite your unresponsive self, and when he tucks you back in with the blanket pulled over your chest, he looks back to see your eyes staring straight toward him. Empty yet lonely.

Vacant.

Not at him but through him, and his heart aches a little at the sight.

“You’re alright now,” Jungkook whispers. “You’re alright.”

If Hoseok had been here, would he have been able to do a better job looking after you?

Jungkook wishes he could have been better.

696 notes · View notes

abloomingperiod · 7 months

Text

cute | kim namjoon

"i needa ask for a favor", your head pokes from the corner of the bathroom door, your voice catching namjoon's attention and those 6 words being enough for him to subtly close his book without even marking the page he was in - to which you notice with a small side grin.

always looking out for you.

"yes?" he mentions for you to go on, side grin slowly appearing as he refrains from resting his back against de bedframe and sits on the edge of the bed.

"you can't judge me and if you do i'll take it to heart and force myself out of love for you", you words get all mixed with the quick pace they leave your mouth, namjoon chuckling at your frantic state. cute, he thinks to himself.

"not really my style. continue?", he smiles at you, though you don't miss the small raise of his eyebrow.

you sigh making your way closer to him. tempting ass smile, you think to yourself. "my back's been killing me due to my office chair..." you recall as you touch you lower back, immediately feeling the sting that lingers since your old-ass chair broke while you were sat on it. you blame your pain on it, even though your little to nonexistent stretching and exercising routine doesn't really help your case.

"hum..." namjoon only nods, and your hand find his hair, softly going through his locks and pulling a deep sigh from him as he closes his eyes.

"and there's a few things i've been finding impossible to do without feeling an awful pang in it..." you stall with your words as namjoon's hand travel to your thigh, softly pulling your body closer until his cheek rests on your stomach, sharp-shaped eyes still closed.

"poor baby..." he mumbles, soft chuckle leaving his throat and fingers caressing the back of your knee. you don't say a thing, so he opens his eyes and gazes up at you. "want me to take you to the hospital?" he asks in a more caring tone.

"no, it's okay. i'm already taking the medicine provided by the company nursery." you respond with a side grin at his attentive question. "but i do need a little help..." you trail off, and namjoon notices.

"and that would be..." he encourages you, eyes still dancing around you face. cute, he thinks to himself.

you sigh, looking everywhere but his face and quietly says, "...i need help shaving."

namjoon knows his girlfriend. he knows your lips are always bruised due to constant anxiety-induced pulling. he knows you get easily in your head with your own uncertainties, and he knows you've got a few pet peeves he has to hold back from frowning when you expose them.

and right now, he fails at the latter - to which he'll scold himself in his head for, later.

eyebrows frowned, nose scrunched-up and teeth-showing smile takes place on his face as a light chuckle leaves his throat.

"that's- that's it?" he asks, hand frozen in the back of your knee. you nod, already narrowing your eyes at his building reaction.

"jesus, woman", namjoons exhales, face burying into your clothed belly and warming a spot with his giggles. "i was almost thinking you wanted help burying a corpse or something."

you raise and eyebrow at him, slightly judging his response. "why, you wouldn't help?”

"i'd have two shovels by now" he says in a mocking serious tone, gazing up. you fight against the curling up pulling in the side of your lips. "baby, why would you act like that for such a thing?"

"i don't know- don't look at me like i'm from the victorian era or something. it's just not something i would ask anyone."

"am i anyone?" he asks, chin up and eyebrows expectantly raised as his two hands caresses the back of your knees.

"...no..."

"thought so" he answers matter-of-factly, "sure, why not."

"really?" you ask him, and although namjoon loves your dearly, he feels the need to blink once, twice, thrice at you hoping you would remember what he just said mere seconds ago. so cute, he thinks.

"sweetheart", he starts, smile already showing at his lips and right hand drawing patterns on your left one "i would shave your whole head off with a tiny little razor if you asked me to."

you scrunch you whole face at his somewhat adorable example, and slowly fades into a whipped, smiling expression. "would ya?"

"in a heartbeat." he shoots you a cheeky wink, lips against your knuckles.

"okay, then..." you tell him, taking both his cheeks into your palms and drawing circles in its puffy skin.

"wanna do it now?" he asks you.

"you seem very willing to do it", you point out, amused at his questioning.

"well... i will get to see you naked..."

you scoff loudly at him. unbelievable, you think to yourself as you retort, "to SHAVE me!"

"a win is a win, baby" he dramatically objects in a low tone, causing you to cringe and thrash in his hold.

"oh god, please shut up" you plead.

"i'm just messing with you, baby" namjoon softly tells you, face burying in your tummy and nibbling cautiously at it. "now?"

you nod at him, small 'uhum' enough to make him motion you to the side and get on his feet.

"c'mon, my girlfriend with the back of a granny needs me" his arms find your waist, motioning both of you to the bathroom.

you slap his forearm lightly, a giggly 'very funny' leaving your lips. you roll your eyes, but don't even try and hide the smile that spread across your face. your chest blossoming from every word, touch and smile he gives you throughout the mundane nature of the moment.

as you enter the bathroom, namjoon can't help but catch your figures in the mirror. both of you smiling, your face once turned to his, finds the reflection and watches him. smile wide and hair slightly damp in the ends, probably from an early attempt to shave by yourself. you got a white tank top and pink pajama shorts on. doe eyes watch him and he grins at you. embrace tightening around your waist and lips leaving kiss after kiss over your cheek, neck and shoulders. you giggle and shiver at his touches, and namjoon feels his heart stumbling all over the damn floor.

his eyes find yours again, and his smile mirrors your wide one. "so damn cute", he says more to himself than you, but he catches your scrunched nose and big grin at his remark.

so much from the cutest human alive.

#oof i love him so bad #kim namjoon x reader #kim namjoon established relationship #kim namjoon imagine #namjoon x reader #rm x reader

240 notes · View notes

spiralizera · 1 year

Text

Mistranslations

Pair: Namjoon/reader (English/anglophone)

Summary: You get into a fight with Yoongi over speaking English and not Korean.

Tags: Hurt/comfort; angst; protective Namjoon; angry Namjoon; soft so soft Namjoon; besties Namjoon and Yoongi

Warnings: xenophobia, mentions of racism [writer is white take that as you will], severe panic attacks, depression, non verbal coping mechanisms, use of the word ‘waegukin’ [I know it’s not a racial slur in the same way we understand racial slurs in the west, I mention that in the fic], chats about eurocentrism and colonialism [lol]

Notes: this is the first fanfic I’ve ever written, v spontaneous, possibly due to sun exposure, it’s like 29C rn, inspired by the gorgeous work of @dreamescapeswriting

You were waiting in the dressing room for the boys to finish their set. You’d been working in Gwanju and Namjoon had insisted that you come see him in Busan. The crowd had been insane and quite quickly you’d retreated backstage, overwhelmed. The English translator, now almost permanently on staff for unexpected interviews or even just preliminary prep on translation before content was churned out for online consumption, came and sat with you. She’d been working on her cultural knowledge of English recently and you quite quickly descended into a deep conversation about the politics of Eurovision. You were happy to help, she’d been a saint over these last few months, helping you with Korean.

Just as you were explaining the running joke that is the U.K. and the ‘nil point’ streak, Yoongi and Jungkook burst into the room on a performance high. Jungkook was giggly and jokingly collapsed into your back while Yoongi grabbed some water. They were mid conversation, their breath labouring, rushed and hard to hear. JK turned around and asked you something and since you were just talking to Seo in English, your brain couldn’t quite register what Jungkook was asking. He asked again, gesturing his hands towards the table, too tired to form full sentences. You turned to where he gestured and before you could fully kick your brain back into Korean and ask him to repeat it again, Yoongi scoffed something under his breath.

You paused, unsure if you’d misheard.

‘Sorry?’ You turned to Yoongi, asking in Korean as your brain played catch up with the chaos slowly pouring in from the stage.

Yoongi ignored you and started speaking to Jungkook. Jungkook laughed and pushed lightly off you, grabbing a bottle of water. You were close with the guys, it was easy. They had such a close and intense bond, it was impossible to be intimate with one without becoming close with the others. The only one who’d always remained at a distance from you was Yoongi. He sometimes pretended to exchange pleasantries, but largely kept himself a distance from you. He never spoke in English to you, he never tried to include you. You knew he spoke far better English than most of the boys, except for Namjoon of course. But he only spoke Korean around you. ‘Around’ was the correct word, never at you or with you, just around you, like you were an unfortunately placed pillar obstructing conversation. You largely ignored him, ignored the sick feeling in your stomach whenever he was in the room. It was natural to not click with everybody. Healthy in fact. These were Namjoon’s friends, not yours after all.

You heard the word again. You’d definitely not misheard this time.

‘Hey,’ you stood up, walking over to Yoongi. The boys turned around, jungkook slightly startled by the raise in your voice. ‘What did you call me?’

Yoongi looked at you deadpan. You were the same height and his eyes bore unflinchingly into yours. ‘I said,’ his English was slow like he was speaking to a child, ‘fucking waegukin.’

You stepped back, slightly stunned. It wasn’t a bad word, you knew that, it was a fact, you knew that. People referred to you as one all the time, it was fine, it was-

‘Everywhere we go it’s ‘speak English this’, ‘speak English that’, why don’t you fucking speak Korean? Why do we have to always accommodate you monolingual fucks? The level of entitlement, you come here expecting everything to be handed to you on a fucking plate. We just gave everything out there, Namjoon killed it and you’re in here demanding everyone speak to you in English, wasting the time of our translator, and not even come out and watch us. Namjoon gives you everything, what do you give him? That’s all westerners do, they take and take and demand we meet their standards, demand we make them comfortable. Would you even like Namjoon if he wasn’t an idol? Would you even like him if he couldn’t speak English? He gives so much of himself, so much energy translating and managing interviews and making sure we come across the right way to you westerners. Now he has to come home to you and your English face and your English language. Give him a fucking break. What can you give him, fucking waegukin?’

Yoongi had been getting closer and closer to you, Jungkook had tried grab his shoulder, to interrupt him but he’d shrugged him off. He’d seen red and couldn’t stop. You were just as stunned. You’d almost zoned out after a minute, watching the scene from another corner, alongside the stunned crew. In theory you knew that Yoongi was tired, that this was about something else, something bigger than you. He was right you hadn’t seen the majority of the concert, maybe something had happened onstage. There’d be a simple explanation, you knew that. You knew that. But your heart was in your throat, you couldn’t speak, you couldn’t breathe. Every insecurity, every worry that had been simmering underneath your skin since you started dating Joon, that Joon had always dismissed and told you not to worry about, was now echoing about the room in one awful silence.

It felt like an eternity had passed.

‘Y/N-‘ Jungkook broke the spell, but you were faster. You didn’t even grab your things, you just needed to leave as quickly as humanly possible. You ran out the room, heading towards the cars, asking the nearest taxi to please drive, before you could see the way Yoongi’s eyes slowly cleared, the realisation that he’d truly fucked up dawning on his face.

——————————————-———————-

14 missed calls. 8 from Joon. 4 from Jungkook. 2 from Seo. You didn’t dare look at the messages that had been solidly lighting up your phone for the past hour. You just needed to get out. You needed to get out right now. You were shoving clothes into your suitcase. You’d catch a train to Gwanju, or maybe a plane would be easier, would there be any planes this late at night? Maybe the train then, or a hire car, but you weren’t really in any state to drive- Maybe you should just cut out the middle man and go straight to Seoul. You had friends there, friends from home who’d grown up split between Korea and Europe. But you didn’t want to worry then. You didn’t want them to know that this kind of relationship couldn’t work. That you were repeating the same mistakes that their parents had made, that maybe the cultural gap was too big. You didn’t want to cause them pain, you were causing everyone so much-

There was a knock at the door. You froze. Shit. You briefly debated scaling the fire escape, but thankfully dropped that idea. Maybe if you just stayed quiet, whoever it was, would go away. Maybe they’d leave you alone. Maybe you’d still be able to escape. You couldn’t be here. You couldn’t do this. You needed to leave right now. Right fucking now.

‘Y/N please,’ it was Namjoon. ‘Please open the door. It’s just me. Please I need to know that you’re ok.’

You softened slightly, your body couldn’t help but respond to his voice. But then your brain kicked into gear again. English, he was speaking in English. He was accommodating you, yet again, he had just finished a concert and he was probably exhausted and he had to deal with you, Yoongi’s words bouncing around your head. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t breath. You couldn’t-

You heard some soft swearing behind the door. ‘Ok I’m coming in Y/N,’ Namjoon slowly entered the room. He had an idea about what had happened, he’d seen you react like this before, he was just glad you were still at the hotel. He walked slowly towards you, arms outstretched like he was approaching a stray. He’d made sure to get rid of every single bit of his anger before coming to find you. He’d ripped into Yoongi and Yoongi had taken it, stood there limply and said nothing. Still high from the stage, he would’ve punched him if it hadn’t been for Jin and Jungkook holding him back. He’d forced himself to calm down before going to find you, he knew he it couldn’t come near you in this state.

He’d phoned the hotel to check you were there before sending Hobi ahead with explicit instructions to not to knock but just make sure that your hotel room light was still on and let him know if you left.

‘It’s ok baby,’ he almost whispered. ‘It’s ok, it’s ok,’ he softly repeated until he was close enough to envelop you in a hug. You initially resisted before allowing yourself to break down and cry. Namjoon held the back of your head to the crook of his neck, kissing the top of your head as he continued to repeat the mantra. Your legs started to go and he swiftly carried you to the bed. He didn’t let you go. He wouldn’t let you go. He controlled his own breathing, holding down the anger that bubbled just below his skin. He took your shaking hand and kissed each finger tip with such care and love before placing it flat against his chest You focussed on his heart, it’s even beats, strong and steady. You matched it’s rhythm with your fingers and eventually your breath followed.

‘It’s ok. You’re ok. I love you. I love you so much,’ Namjoon whispered sweet nothings into your hair and you focussed more on the feeling of his lips than his actual words. Eventually your eyes became heavy and you thankfully slipped away from this awful evening.

Morning came and Namjoon was still holding you. He was reluctant to let you go. Your head was heavy and you felt like were moving underwater. This was often the way after a bad night. You’d finally learnt to recognise the signs, learnt to treat them as something external, symptoms, side affects, not personal failings, character flaws.

Namjoon had learnt too. Just as you had so quickly become attuned to his bad days, the days he couldn’t leave the bed, the days he communicated solely through text messages and grunts, the days he was tired of fronting, tired of masking. It’d been hard, so hard. But you’d eventually let him in too. Let him take care of you. Stopped being so vigilant to everyone else’s needs and let him catch you.

You both stayed in bed for a long time, waking up slowly before letting yourselves fall back asleep again. Joon ordered room service and made you tea, forcing you to drink something and nibble on toast. Wordlessly and easily you moved in time with the other, understanding each others signals. Only the occasional ‘come on’, ‘jagi’, or ‘baby,’ from Namjoon as he coached you into returning back to your body. He’d put the phones somewhere you both couldn’t see them, and while you read, he went and drew you a bath.

The sound of the crowds, thickly ringing the hotel, continued to echo into the afternoon. Ideally Namjoon had wanted to take you somewhere outside, go for a walk to a park or a convenience store, something easy and familiar. But that simply wasn’t possible.

‘Jagiya,’ he called softly to you, still lying in bed, reading your book and tracing the late afternoon sun spots. ‘I’m taking you home tomorrow, is that ok?’

You nodded softly, allowing Namjoon to drag you across the bed into his arms. You felt numb. You felt tired.

——————————————————————

‘Absolutely not.’

Namjoon was trying to find his current reading book before heading to the studio. He’d reluctantly returned to work a couple days after you’d both come back to Seoul. You’d insisted, insisted that you were ok now. Maybe he’d jumped the gun.

‘You are not going anywhere near him, especially not alone.’ He came and stood in the doorway of your study, like he could physically stop you from leaving.

‘Jin is leaving in a couple of days, I’m not going to be the cause of any tension or awkwardness that’ll ruin his send off. You guys need each other more than ever now.’

You get up, matching his stance.

‘You haven’t done anything,’ he punctuated the ‘you’. ‘If anyone’s ruined anything it’s him. He crossed the fucking line.’

You sigh. Your fingers graze his arms, you can feel the anger vibrating just under there. He pretends it’s not there, he pretends you don’t know. He thinks he’s protecting you. You don’t say anything, just gently need the tension from his arms.

His hands eventually fall to your hips before travelling up your back and neck. He leans down and kisses you, your face between his hands like an offering. Its not horny. Its gentle. It’s protective. It’s like you’re the most precious thing in the word. ‘I won’t let him hurt you again.’ He whispers, refusing to even let your eyes slip from his grasp.

‘I know’, you whisper back. ‘I know Joonie. you’re good jooni, so good.’

——————————————————————

Yoongi hadn’t attempted to reach out to you since the night of the concert. Not that he would usually text you, it’d be more disturbing if he had.

As soon as Joon had left for the studio, you texted Jungkook to let him know phase 1 was complete. Jungkook’s job was to keep Joon distracted just long enough to execute phase 2. Before you could think about it too much, you picked up your phone and dialled.

‘Meet me at the convenience store in Dosan. I want to talk.’

——————————————————————

Mid afternoon the streets were almost deserted in Gangnam. Everyone was working or at least trying to avoid the mid afternoon heat. You sat at a plastic picnic table, your back against the shop’s glass windows and your feet up on the bench. You sipped on your coffee - hot drinks in hot weather, you’d learnt that working service - and watched the fruit cellar obnoxiously ring his bell, hopping from one dappled island of shade to another. If the coward didn’t show then at least you’d had a pleasant afternoon.

Two bottles of beer were carefully placed on the table, the clink of glass bringing you back to reality. ‘I thought you might like something stronger than coffee.’

Yoongi’s face was almost completely covered - the classic idol combo of bucket hat, sunnies and face mask - but he still radiated sheepishness.

You say nothing, and watch him eventually open the bottle and pour you a glass. It was unnecessarily formal for a convenience store. But you thought, let him play host. Let him show the foreigner good korean table etiquette.

You take a swig and return to watching the fruit seller. He has some customers now. It’s quite busy. They’ll need to form a line.

You’re both silent for a long time. Neither one of you are great conversationalists and Yoongi seems to be on the brink of an aneurysm. Eventually you relent.

‘Listen,’ your Korean is tense but you know it’s correct, you’ve made sure it’s correct, you refuse to give him an inch. ‘You were right the other night. It’s fucked up how the west and Europe looks at Asia, especially relatively new democracies like Korea. We hold them to,’ you gesture with your hand as you look for the word, ‘unbelievably high standards and then judge them for it. we judge you from democracies that are far far from perfect, democracies that are always on the edge of fascism, democracies that are built off the blood and backs of slavery, colonialism and ecological devastation. We forced you all to speak English and now English is the lingua Munda. You’re right to be angry, you’re right to be upset, especially considering the awful things this country has had to deal with from the likes of the USA. It must be incredibly frustrating and patronising to have to learn English, conduct interviews in English and be constantly asked for everything to be in English, to be considered worthy of international recognition. If anything you guys are proof that you don’t need English at all to dominate the global stage.’

Yoongi went to open his mouth then, but you waved him away.

‘But that doesn’t mean that you get to talk to me like that. Not you. Not anyone. Everything that you said, I’ve thought about myself ten times over and ten times worse. Namjoon and I have had so many conversations about this; before I came to Korea I had some understanding of the history of violence and colonialism this country had been subjected to for centuries, from the Japanese, from the US. But I still came to it from s western, trans-Atlantic understanding of colonialism and I’ve been working and researching to understand these different histories and thoughts and ways of speaking so I can fully understand. It’s a huge part of my job Yoongi, working in Gwanju.’

You could feel yourself getting off track. You took another swig of beer and tried to rain it back. Yoongi wasn’t looking at you, he was staring out into the street. You weren’t sure if your Korean was making any sense.

‘White guilt, western guilt, it’s boring and fruitless. It puts the onus on those who’ve been subjected to these systems of systemic violence. I know this. But in that moment Yoongi what you said was cruel and hurtful and i panicked and I needed to get the fuck out of there. You were right I missed half the show, I don’t know what happened out there, but whatever it was, whatever all of,’ again you gesture wildly, ‘whatever all of this fucked up fuckery we live in is, you don’t get to use me as a…a punching bag.’

Your Korean had become shaky at the end and you’d stumbled into English just so you could finish your point. You weren’t used to defending yourself, it still went against your instincts. Your heart was racing.

For a couple minutes, the sound of your breath was all you could hear, blood rushing to your ear drums.

‘It’s not true.’

‘What?’ You look up, Yoongi was now looking directly at you.

‘You said that what I’d said had been true. It wasn’t true. None of it was true. It was xenophobic and racist. You’re right, we’re subjected to these fucked up systems but that doesn’t mean that we can weaponise them and manipulate them to hurt each other, that’s not how they will end.’

You look at him, unconsciously mouthing some of his words as you try to process them in your head.

‘I’m sorry Y/N. I’m really sorry that I hurt you. I knew about your panic attacks. I knew what I was doing. It was completely and utterly fucked up, I’m so so sorry. You’re so great with Joon and I-

‘You don’t think that.’

He faltered. ‘What?’

‘You don’t think that I’m good with Namjoon,’ you repeated. ‘Ever since we started dating, you’ve avoided me, you never talk to me.’

‘I-‘

‘In fact you often leave the room if im in it. I think the other night was perhaps the longest conversation we’ve ever had, if you can call it that.’

Yoongi seemed to close then. He drew back. You sighed, you were tired of this. ‘Namjoon acts like it doesn’t matter but you’re his best friend Yoongi. I know he’s used to telling you everything. He’s so angry right now. I don’t want to come between you two, I don’t want him to lose you. He needs you.’

Yoongi looked up suddenly at that. His eyes were bright. ‘I don’t want to lose him either.’ He whispered, quickly ducking his head and raking his hands through his hair. You were worried he might try pull it out.

‘I’m sorry i treated you the way that I did. It was cruel and unnecessary, to you and Namjoon.’

You folded your arms and cocked your head.

‘I was weary. And it wasn’t because you weren’t Korean, I’ve close friends who’ve married people not from Korea, who’ve moved abroad-‘

‘Careful,’ you interjected, smiling. ‘You’re starting to sound like those people who insist that they aren’t racist because they have black friends.’

‘-but I was worried about how it’d affect the music,’ he persisted. ‘I was worried about how Namjoon’s priorities would not only shift towards love but also across continents and languages. I was worried he’d be stretched too thin and that the music would suffer.’ He looked at you then, before voicing your deepest fears. ‘That he would suffer.’

‘I’ve known him since he was young and he wasn’t like the rest of us. He’d never allowed himself to get distracted by girls or love. He’d been 100% on the music and the group, nothing else. Part of me worried about the music, but a big part of me worried that he wouldn’t be able to handle it.’ He grabbed your hand then, he could see the guilt and panic start to fester behind your eyes. ‘Because he was falling hard for you Y/N, so hard, harder I think than any of us have fallen before.’

You nodded, unable to speak.

‘I love him Yoongi,’ you breathed, not daring to look away.

Yoongi let go of your hand, he leaned back and took a swig of beer. He fiddled with the label, tearing it into tiny pieces.

‘The truth is Y/N that I’ve never seen him so happy.’ Yoongi rolled the shreds of bottle label into tiny cigarettes and laid them in a row on the table. ‘His songwriting is on s different level and, and he’s calmer,’ your breath catches in your throat at that one. ‘He’s calmer and you can see behind his eyes, you know, he’s not…always putting up a front.’

Yoongi stopped talking then. But you didn’t dare start. You didn’t want to break the spell.

‘I said some fucked up shit the other night. One thing I said was that he must be so tired coming home to you and having to speak English, but it’s not true. I’ve never seen him so healthy, so full of energy. I don’t know your relationship, and that’s my fault, but I don’t think you drain him at all. Not in the slightest. I think you do the opposite, Y/N. Im sorry.’

Yoongi leaned back then, pretended to watch the people walking past. His shoulders slumped forward.

‘I want to be friends Yoongi.’

His head whipped around. He must have misheard you. ‘Excuse me?’

‘I want to be friends Yoongi.’ You repeat again, smiling at him.

He blinks at you. ‘What is this? Primary school? You want to be my friend? Is it that easy?’

‘It can be. If you want it to be.’

Yoongi leaned back before suddenly smiling and getting up from the table with outstretched arms. ‘Come here, noona.’

You laugh and meet him in the hug.

‘You’re older than me!’

He grips you in a bare hug and shakes you from side to side. ‘Doesn’t matter, you’re far wiser than I will ever be.’

Suddenly a car pulls up and Jungkook is apologetically staring at you both from the driver’s seat. Before any of you can register what’s going on, Namjoon has vaulted out of the passenger side, across the car and scooped you into his arms.

‘Oh my god, I was so worried.’ His hands moved across your face and hair as if to make sure everything was where he’d last left it. ‘I’ve been trying to call you for the last hour but you haven’t been answering. I was freaking out and then Jimin said that Yoongi had also gone awol and hadn’t been in his studio for at least an hour and we put two and two together-‘

It was at that moment that Namjoon remembered Yoongi standing there, his arms swinging from where you’d been ripped from them. Namjoon instinctively put himself between you and him.

‘What do you want? What did you say to her? You’ve got some fucking nerve coming anywhere near her.’

Jungkook was out the car now and fruitlessly had his hands between the two, unsure who he was going to have to hold back.

You scoffed and pushed past Joon. ‘It’s ok Joon. It’s fine.’ You kept a steady hand on his arm.

‘We talked it out. It’s ok. It’s sorted, Yoongi apologised, all is forgiven, I promise.’

Namjoon’s eyes flitted between yours and Yoongi’s, the pain in them at having to fight his best friend over his girlfriend starting to seep through.

Yoongi must’ve seen it as well because he stepped forward. ‘Joon it’s true. She called me. I apologised, atoned for my sins, we solved neo-colonialism and late capitalism, we’re good.’ Namjoon’s eyes were still tight, he wasn’t moving. Yoongi sighed and grabbed his neck before Jungkook could intervene, leaning his forehead against Joon’s. ‘She’s incredible bro. You’re lucky to have her. I’m so fucking grateful she forgave me. I can’t wait to get to know her better. Can you forgive me?’

There was an intense few seconds. Before some silent communication took place because suddenly Namjoon and Yoongi were in the deepest of hugs. The kind of bear hug guys will do, slapping each other on the back and sort of rocking back and forth. You joined Jungkook on the sidelines, leaning against the car and trying not to laugh at the greatest romance in history unfolding before your eyes.

‘I missed you bro.’

‘I missed you too.’

‘Uughh!’ Jungkook loudly groaned, ribbing you. ‘Hyung can we go get tonkatsu now or what?’

#bts fic #kim Namjoon #rm #namjoon x reader #namjoon scenarios #angst #namjoon angst #hurt/comfort #namjoon hurt/comfort #namjoon fic #BTS oneshot #min yoogni #namjoon and Yoongi #relationship anarchy #love your friends people

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violetsiren90 · 3 months

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All I Haven't Said | Namjoon/Reader

💜 Chapter 3: Part 2 💜

Table of Contents: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 (part 1), Chapter 3 (part 2)

Pairing: idol!Namjoon/f!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU; idol AU; chapter fic; strangers to lovers; a bit of idiots to lovers, tbh; slow burn; eventual romance; eventual smut; angst (life is messy & hearts are complex); OT7 featured

Summary: You found your soulmate - or rather, he found you. Turns out he's an idol of much acclaim who needs you for very real and unglamorous reasons. What could become of two hearts so used to giving of themselves when they are confronted with needing each other?

Chapter Word Count: ~7k

Chapter Warnings: This fic is 18+, as is all my work and my page as a whole; depictions of cancer and its treatment; secondhand embarrassment; awkward situations; soulmate skinship; loss of consciousness; dudes dude-broing a bit lol; mentions of minor character death (in past); cursing; chemo therapy and its symptoms; nausea and vomiting; characters eat meals; Reader is starting to grapple with some difficult feelings; Hybe kinda sorta depicted as being collective assholes in responding to this situation (gonna be a theme, guys)

Author's Note: Here comes part two! I know this is months coming (again), but I've finally found my stride with writing and work. I had this mostly done, and then redid some parts and finished editing, and well...I just hope you all enjoy it! My hope is to post part three in two weeks - I really want to get into a groove with plot progression here!

There is a lot of content in this chapter about medical procedures and treatment. I tried my best to represent these as accurately as possible with what information I could acquire, but if there are any misrepresentations, great or small, please don't hesitate to let me know!

Thank you again to all who have stuck with this story! I continue to be blown away by how much love you have all showered upon it, and I'm so excited to walk the path I intend for these two and have you all along for the ride!!

P.S. If you want to join the tag list, drop me a comment or an ask!

P.P.S. If no one has told you yet today, you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

"Out of sheer taciturnity the ceiling listens To the fall of ancient leafless rain, To feathers, to whatever the night imprisoned." ~Pablo Neruda

Chapter 3: My Windows Ache

Namjoon's labs had come back with even more promising numbers. A radiology scan had shown no shrinkage in his tumors, but the doctors commented that these were early days, and that the effects of the bond might even be keeping them from inflaming due to the chemo. You had watched him, smiling as the doctor reviewed the result, and couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. Your soulmate was on the road to recovery.

Nurse Cha quickly checked both of you over before initiating another skinship session.

"I saw you out on the grounds earlier, and for the first time in weeks," she said, shooting Namjoon an approving grin. "Keep that up. He needs sunlight and fresh air," she remarked to you, flustering you even as you nodded in agreement.

Why was she telling you that? Were you his keeper?

Actually, you supposed, in fact, you were.

You peeked back up at him and found him regarding you with a small, amused smile, which disconcerted you further. You shook your head, shooting him an eye-roll as you made your way into the bathroom to disrobe.

After your first few experiences with skinship, you had asked Matt to acquire you some sporty, conservative sports bra and boy-short sets, and you slipped into one, pulling a hospital gown over it. After the way your conversation with Hyung-seo had unfolded you were glad to have them - the practical underwear felt far less intimate and flirty than your typical bras and panties, giving you much more peace of mind.

As you left the bathroom and made your way back to Namjoon's half of the suite, you noticed him sitting on top of the covers, long legs stretched out in front of him, in nothing but a black tee and blue boxers. He had a drip attached to a tube that ran under his shirt. When Nurse Cha glanced up from her touchscreen tablet to see you approaching, she waved her hand for you to come around to the other side of the bed, which had been adjusted to accommodate Namjoon's upright position.

"We’re going to try this sitting up today," she explained as she typed. "He's on a chemo drip right now, and the doctor wants to see if the bond will help ease the nausea and some of the other side effects. I heard you just had a nice lunch, so it would be wonderful if Namjoon could hang onto his."

She shot him a rueful smirk and he let out a chuckle. You smiled in turn and nodded as you slipped off your hospital gown and draped it over the end of the bed. You glanced up at Namjoon who had cast his eyes down at his hands, folded in his lap. The huge apparatus was lower than usual, so you slipped rather easily into it and against Namjoon's side. He raised an arm to drape over your shoulders and you settled against him, pressing your bare leg against his. It was comical how much shorter yours were, but you could only think of that for a fraction of a second as every other thought in your mind melted at the feeling of the man beside you.

Butter. Warm, melted butter. It was as if every single muscle group in your body had suddenly released every bit of tension it had been holding. So many sensations at once, but this was the one you felt like leaning into at the moment. You felt like collapsing against him.

He sighed deeply through his nose. Yeah, you felt that on a spiritual level. Mmh.

Your melty, bond-induced reverie was broken, however, by a dissatisfied noise from Nurse Cha as she stepped toward the bed. You looked up to find her expression matched her tone.

"You're not really getting much contact," she said, scanning her eyes over everywhere you touched...and didn't.

You raised your arms slightly and a bit uselessly. You felt Namjoon lean forward.

"Should I...like..." you looked to her for direction, but she was already in motion.

She grabbed your arm, guiding you off the bed and motioned for Namjoon to scoot back to the middle. She said something to Namjoon in Korean and suddenly he was tugging his shirt over his head. You felt your cheeks getting hot. Social norms had not prepared you for this amount of casual nudity. You stood there, eyes glued to Nurse Cha, hugging your arms over your middle and hoping that Namjoon was playing his usual blessed game of "look anywhere but soulmate". The nurse took your arm again and guided you back toward your previous perch.

"Sit between his legs and lean back against his chest," she instructed, nudging you to join him.

You looked up at Namjoon. His face looked like you felt. And then it was just too much. You were standing in a hospital in South Korea in your underwear being asked to sit in a practically naked celebrity's lap so that he wouldn't die.

You busted out laughing.

Nurse Cha jumped, surprise clear in her features as she regarded you.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You gasped, bending over to support yourself against the bed as you continued to chuckle, "This is just..."

You snorted. Mortified but still attempting to swallow your giggles you clapped a hand over your mouth and looked up at Namjoon whose dimples were out and whose shoulders were shaking with his own silent amusement. Nurse Cha's lips curved up a bit to one side, but her narrowed eyes spoke of far less hilarity felt.

"Here's the thing," you said, turning to the nurse while still biting back your laughter, "Namjoon is spoken for, and...well...I have a pretty nice ass."

The nurse's eyes widened.

You were probably being really impolite. That would have been borderline in the States. You weren't sure about here, but you felt like that might have broken some unspoken rules. Or, maybe spoken ones because there were a lot of formalities, you were learning. But you had reached your limit with all this. The awkwardness levels were at maximum, and you were gonna cope the only way you knew how - with humor.

When you hazarded a look at your soulmate, he had drawn his knees up, grabbing them with his hands, his head dropped between them and his shoulders shaking as he badly repressed laughter of his own. You could see those dimples again. They were even deeper than before.

"We need to get maximum skin-to-skin contact during these sessions," Nurse Cha insisted indignantly, clearly a bit flustered.

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you offered her a contrite smile as you rocked back on your feet.

"Ah!" Namjoon drew your attention as he pointed behind you. "Throw me that pillow?"

You grabbed the little green cushion from the corner of the couch and tossed it to him. He lowered his legs and placed it over his lap.

"How's that?" he asked with a closed-lip smirk.

You gave him a thumbs up and clambered back onto the bed to situate yourself between his legs. You looked back over at Nurse Cha.

"Better?"

She raised a brow as she handed you a blanket. You thanked her quietly and cleared your throat as you fanned it out over your legs and Namjoon's, tucking it up to your waist. The nurse checked Namjoon's vitals and said that she would return in an hour to take him off the drip.

You sank back tentatively against your soulmate's chest, careful to avoid the little port below his sternum. There it was again. Butter.

Somewhere above and behind you, Namjoon chuckled. You smiled knowingly.

"What?" you asked indignantly.

"Did you see her face when you said that?"

You shrugged against him.

"Hey, it's true!" you insisted.

"Sorry if this is uncomfortable for you," he murmured.

You could hear that he was still smiling, but he sounded serious all the same. You let your head fall back.

"Honestly, I felt bad for you," you huffed in another laugh before sobering. "And, thank you," you turned, casting your eyes up over your shoulder, "For always being so respectful. It's made this a lot easier."

"Oh," Namjoon responded softly, "Of course."

You looked at his arms resting at his sides and thought of what Nurse Cha had said. You slowly picked up his hands in yours, raising them slightly.

"May I put them around me? For more contact," you asked.

You asked it boldly, but you felt shy. You wanted the chemo to work. You wanted it to stop hurting him while it did. When Namjoon let out a low hum of assent you drew his forearms around your waist and laid your own over them.

Your eyes slipped shut. So euphoric but it always made you feel like sleeping. You weren't going to give into the urge, though, not just yet. There were conversations to be had.

"Tell me about Hyung-seo," you prompted softly, shifting against him to get comfortable.

He was quiet for a moment.

"Well," he responded slowly, "what do you want to know?"

"How did you meet her?"

He went quiet again. Then he sighed a small sigh. You wondered what that little breath carried.

"She debuted in 2019. A buddy of mine - Seo Jungkwon, he goes by Tiger JK in the industry - had signed her to his agency. Bangtan was just taking off, things were blowing up. I actually collaborated with him which is when I met her."

He silenced for a moment.

"We had a lot in common - how we approached life and music."

"Had?" you asked, gently.

He heaved another sigh.

"The last few years have been really tough on her. I mean, she hasn't had an easy life to begin with, but..."

He paused, as if deciding whether or not to utter the words he wanted to say next.

"Anyway," he redirected himself, and you wondered what thought he had dismissed, "Preparing for a tour is grueling, and this is her first one. I think the stress is really getting her."

You hummed in acknowledgement. You recognized it in his voice - you should after all, as the same sound had echoed so often in your own - the hollow clemency of lying to yourself on someone else's behalf.

"Well," you offered, "She's lucky to have you supporting her, especially when you're going through such a difficult time yourself."

Namjoon scoffed.

"I mean, yeah, I'm sick, but...I don't know. In a lot of ways my life has been a lot easier these days. A lot simpler."

"Really? In what way?"

He huffed out a wry laugh.

"I have so much time to just do whatever. Read, write...I've been learning a couple of languages. I get to do v-lives with ARMY pretty regularly, as the company allows - Jungkook went kind of crazy with it before enlistment so we have to go through them for access now."

You had no idea what a v-live was, but from what little you had seen of Jungkook, you could imagine it took very little for him to get up to a significant amount of shenanigans. You smirked.

"Did you have so little time for those things before?" you queried.

"No! No way. It was like running non-stop for ten years. During my time in the military, I got a bit of a break and a change, but then I got sick and had to be discharged early, so...well, I didn't even get to experience that like I should have."

You felt your hands tighten in response around his forearms. His life hadn't been cake-walk either, that was clear. You wondered if he knew that, if he acknowledged it.

"Well, I'm glad you have more time for those things. You should keep as much time for them as you can, even when you're better."

He paused for a moment before whispering agreement into your hair. You felt it even though he didn't say it, the caveat - if he got better. He would. You'd never make him a promise you couldn't guarantee, but you could make one to yourself. So you did.

For the rest of the session you talked about Bangtan, and the recent history of the group's situation.

You learned about conscription and that it applied to idols as well. You learned the members had decided to enlist pretty much around the same time so that they could reunite to tour again after being discharged. Namjoon had been released ahead of schedule when he had fallen ill, and at this point most of the members had followed, save Yoongi who was set to be discharged the following week. He fondly reported that they were all anxious to meet you, and that Jungkook and Jimin hadn't stopped pestering him with all manner of questions in your regard since their visit the previous day.

Every time you had heard him speak about his members, the deep brotherly affection that permeated his words was incredibly evident.

You asked him to tell you about each one, and he did.

You blinked your eyes open as you felt Namjoon shift you in his arms. You slowly pulled yourself forward, struggling to focus.

"I...I'm sorry," you murmured, "I fell asleep on you again."

Namjoon chuckled and assured you it was quite alright. As you wearily slipped off the mattress to stand, you suddenly felt the room tilt and your knees buckle. Namjoon's reflexes were quick enough to catch you in his arms. He stood to pull you up and hold you against him.

"You okay?" he asked in concern.

"I...I got dizzy..."

You attempted to put your weight into your legs, but failed, sagging weakly against his broad frame.

Nurse Cha was already in motion.

"Help her to the bed," she ordered, striding across the room.

Namjoon wasted no time in scooping you up in a bridal carry to follow her. You gasped despite yourself, the sudden movement and his strength equally surprising. But every thought was fleeting as you found yourself struggling to maintain a grip on consciousness.

You felt Namjoon lay you gently on the bed as cold, sticky monitors were pressed to your skin; heard him ask the nurse what was the matter, his voice tinged with anxiety.

You heard him say your name.

And then you heard nothing.

You groaned as you came to. Your throat felt like the Sahara and your head was pounding. Pushing yourself to sit up, you became aware of the sound of voices on the other side of the curtain. Carefully drawing your legs to the edge of the bed, you clutched your IV stand as you struggled to your feet.

Pulling back the hanging divider, you were surprised to see Matt occupying the little couch, a cup of coffee on the low table in front of him. Namjoon sat in the opposing chair, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees in rapt attention as the older man spoke. It was dark out.

"Matt," you croaked, shuffling forward.

Namjoon's head whipped around at the sound of your voice and he sprang up, just a moment faster than his guest, striding over to take you by the arm. You faltered just a moment in your steps as his hand cradled your elbow and you felt it - his touch and what it did to you. You wanted to curl into him. You wanted him to hold you.

You gently tugged your arm away.

"You're awake - let me call the nurse," he said, almost to himself as he moved to press the red call button.

You sank down beside Matt.

"What time is it?" you asked in a husky murmur. Your friend checked his watch.

"1:33am."

You frowned, blinking blearily.

"What the heck are you doing here at the hour?"

"Well!" Matt laughed before taking a sip of his coffee, "It's nice to see you too."

"You know what I mean..." you grumbled, rubbing your eyes.

"He called me," he said, gesturing with his raised mug toward Namjoon, who had returned to the armchair. "Said you'd had a fainting spell."

Your eyes followed his motion to your soulmate, who was already scanning his over you, brow furrowed and full lips pursed pensively.

"How are you feeling?" Namjoon asked.

You huffed out a mirthless chuckle.

"Like I got hit by a freight train."

The worry lines on his brow deepened.

"Hey, look..." you held up a hand to wave it weakly between both men as they regarded you in apparent concern. "I'm probably just adjusting to the bond or something. Cancer isn't contagious, you know," you ribbed, shooting a tiny smirk at Namjoon who attempted to return the expression though the smile didn't reach his eyes.

The night shift nurse and an aid entered the room to assess you. Namjoon asked to speak with a doctor, and was told that Dr. Na would be checking in first thing in the morning. The nurse had very little else to report other than that your blood work had been sent to the lab and that they would be able to determine more once your results were available. He informed Matt that some charts would likely be available in twenty-four hours, but that your CMP could take up to three days. The aid urged you to try to get some more rest. Before departing, the nurse removed your spent sodium chloride drip and said that a meal would be sent up which you were advised to eat if possible, but to be sure to report any signs of food-rejection should they appear.

Namjoon stood and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he gazed at your little portion of the suit.

"They want you to rest, but how the hell are you supposed to sleep with me over here snoring? It's keeping you up, right?"

You smirked.

"Well, most of my rest over the last couple of days has been due to a lack of consciousness, but I do have to admit that you woke me up a couple of times last night."

Namjoon groaned discomfitedly.

"It really isn't a big deal!" you reassured him, "I'm a pretty sound sleeper."

"And still I woke you up."

"Don't worry about it..."

"It's not just that, though," he insisted, hands in the pockets of his sweats and head cocked to one side as he continued to consider the small space across from his. "You don't even have a window. If you want privacy, you have to sit behind that curtain in the tiny bed -- I hate it. I've hated it since they were first preparing for you to arrive. I'll make some calls tomorrow. You need your own room," he stated decidedly, returning to the chair across from you.

He fished his phone out of his pocket and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he fired off a message.

Namjoon did have a point, it was a pretty meager space you currently occupied. But they must have had a reason, you thought, for wanting you to share a room with him. And you didn't want to cause any kind of fuss in the name of personal convenience that might detract from his treatment or recovery.

"Namjoon, it's fine..."

He looked up at you, his brown eyes assured and determined.

"Just let me handle it. I've got you."

A sudden warmth spread through your chest like the rising sun on the frost of your anxieties, his gaze melting away the familiar worry of burdensomeness. You looked away shyly.

"Good man," Matt said to him with a nod, and they shared a look as your soulmate nodded in return that seemed to be one of mutual masculine respect. You wanted to roll your eyes a little bit. You also felt pretty damn grateful.

Matt stood to leave, pressing a kiss on your temple and promised that he'd return in the morning. He paused to shake Namjoon's hand.

"If there are any further developments, don't hesitate to call me," he said, to which the younger man nodded in agreement.

"Or I can call you!" you rasped after him as he raised his hand in one last gesture of farewell while shutting the door.

You huffed.

"Smart guy," Namjoon remarked, sitting back down in his chair. "You know he's read Toegye exhaustively?"

You raised a brow at him, your lips quirking with a wry grin.

"Two peas in a pod. He's probably going to be coming around here nonstop until he leaves just so you two can gab in genius."

Namjoon smiled and touched his fingers absently to his jaw, his eyes trained on the linoleum.

"Are you bothered that I called him?" he asked abruptly, glancing up at you.

"What? No, of course not," you reassured him with a shake of your head. "I just..." You rolled your eyes and smirked. "I'm not used to sitting around while boys decide what's best for me."

"Aaahhh," Namjoon responded with a nod, interlacing his fingers, "Well, you've been looking out for me since you walked through that door back there, and honestly, I could get used to that..." he leaned forward a bit, "But only if I get to return the favor. You said we don't owe each other, but that doesn't mean you get to be the only one doing the giving."

You stared at him. The only one to do the giving. The words jarred something loose inside you. You swallowed the strange feeling that threatened to well into your throat.

Before you could respond, an aid entered with your meal. A tray loaded with dakjuk, rice, and several banchan was placed before you. It smelled fantastic, and you actually felt you could eat. You moved to take the tray to your side of the suite but Namjoon stopped you.

"Hey, wait. I'm hungry. I'll eat with you."

He crossed to the other side of the room to pick up the telephone.

"Go ahead," he said with nod of his head a little grin, "Don't wait on me."

He didn't have to twist your arm. The chicken porridge was steaming and savory, warming you up within just a few bites. A similar tray soon arrived for Namjoon, and you found it did feel far nicer to eat with someone than alone.

Between bites he asked you about Matt.

"He's my dad's best friend. When he died - my dad - Matt and his wife Rebecca helped to take care of us for a while. They've been really good to my family."

Namjoon's face sombered.

"I'm sorry about your father."

You smiled softly at him.

"It was a long time ago, when I was ten. He was a firefighter."

He nodded quietly, giving you the opening to continue. You decided to take it.

"A fire broke out at a high-security prison. The situation got really bad with a lot of people still inside - prisoners. They told the team to stop attempting rescues, that it wasn't worth it, for people like that. But my dad kept going. Alone. He saved seventeen more lives before...well, he couldn't make it out."

When you looked up at Namjoon again his eyes were locked on you, his chopsticks resting idly in his hand.

"Wow," he murmured after a pause. "And you were ten years old? That must have been so hard."

You dragged your spoon through your dakjuk.

"It was. But managing things after he was gone...that was harder, I think."

Namjoon's brow knit in question but he didn't press you further. For the second time that night, you were grateful. Death was easy to explain, other things were much more difficult.

You finished the rest of your meal chatting about Matt, Neo-Confucianism, and unequivocal humanism between mouthfuls of rice and porridge.

The next day, you were moved into your new suite a few doors down. Namjoon had received no resistance from the hospital in procuring you the space, as apparently Hybe's representatives had been the ones to originate the request that you be at the idol's immediate disposal.

Your room mirrored the setup of your soulmate's, being on the same floor but across the hall, and Kang Dae had dropped in with a catalog stating that you could select whatever you wished to make the space more comfortable. You had circled a few things and he had departed to procure them. Matt had brought the bulk of your luggage, which meant a good portion of books, your art supplies, and finally more clothes which you would blessedly now have no worries of mixing up with Namjoon's. You changed into jeans and a comfy Nirvana graphic tee.

You were busy unpacking when a knock came at your door. You called for the person to come in while you continued to stack books onto a small set of shelves. The doctor had cautioned you and Namjoon against further skinship sessions until your blood work had come back, so you were anxious for the results, not wanting him to go through another bout of chemo without the aid of the bond.

When you glanced up expectantly, however, you found your curiosity would have to wait - at least, concerning your charts - as in the entry stood none other than Kim Hyung-seo.

She lingered in the entryway at the mouth of the space, her arms wrapped around her middle. She looked much more casual today in a pair of big baggy camouflage cargo pants, a tight black crop top, and chunky white sneakers. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, and she had black mask pulled under her chin. She was bare-faced, save for two small red dots under her right eye.

You stood from your crouched position, trying your best to keep the surprise from your face.

"Hi," you greeted her with a small smile, which she returned remorsefully, still hugging herself as she glanced around the room. "Would you like to sit down?" you offered, motioning to the furniture beside you.

She nodded, crossing over to take a seat in the little arm chair. You moved to sit across from her. Your first instinct was to offer her something to drink, only to realize you were in a hospital room with no way to deliver, at which you both laughed awkwardly. After a moment of tense silence, she looked up at you, gnawing her bottom lip.

“I owe you an apology," she sighed.

You gave her an encouraging smile.

"Fuck..." she dropped her head in her hands, and you waited for her to collect herself. Finally, she raises her eyes to yours, interlacing her fingers with their long white nails in her lap.

"What I did...what I said yesterday...I was cunt. I'm sorry."

You let out a little laugh at her choice of words.

"Well, I do accept your apology...but, don't be too hard on yourself. It was a really bizarre and unprecedented situation for all of us. I'm glad we're moving forward, and in a better direction."

You smiled again at her reassuringly.

She nodded, her lips pursed and quivering slightly. You could tell she was blinking back tears.

"Me and Joon...we'd only been engaged for a few weeks before we found out...you know, that he had a match. That it could be his only option to live - bonding. With you. It's just all really fucking scary."

You nodded sympathetically. She released another sigh as she continued.

"He had to decide so fast, they pushed him to just make this huge life commitment as fast as they fucking could and now..." She raised her arms, looking around the room in resign, "Here we are. And we have to figure everything out, and I'm about to leave and..."

"I'm sorry," you murmured sympathetically.

She looked down into her lap, worry still twisting her features.

You wondered why she was leaving, now of all times - when things were the way they were. But that wasn't for you to judge.

"You know," you offered hopefully, "At least he's on the mend. At least you know he'll have someone to look after him."

She hummed. You wondered if it was an agreement as her eyes flitted over your face searchingly. Anxiety from the previous day's encounter began to seep into your chest as you considered if you had chosen your words poorly. You had said what would have comforted you in under the same circumstances. But maybe you were different - too different.

You softened your heart, determined to reserve judgement. Life had given Hyung-seo had her own shoes, and you would do everything you could to understand what it was like to walk in them.

"Can I add you on KakaoTalk?" you asked, realizing you were still clutching a book, and setting it onto the low table to pull your phone from your pocket.

She was chewing on her lip again when you looked up. She stared down at the hardback.

"You read a lot, huh?" she asked, though it didn't sound like a question.

"I do," you answered slowly, wondering where her train of thought was headed.

"All that stuff you said yesterday, you seem, like really in tune with people. And smart. You guys are, like, the same."

She pressed the words out in a strained voice. She looked so small and so sad. Your heart sank for her.

"Namjoon actually said that very thing about you yesterday."

She glanced up at you in surprise and confusion. You smiled.

"He said that when you met he was struck with how much you shared in how you saw the world, and how you approached music."

She regarded you silently as you continued.

"And that's your life right, your great love? Music? What a wonderful thing, to base your life with a partner in a love you share."

She nodded slowly, her eyes watering.

"Thank you," she finally whispered, and you nodded in understanding.

You reached out to take her hand and she squeezed yours. After a few moments of silence, she rose and wiped her eyes.

"I'm leaving tomorrow and I want to see Joon again before I go," she explained.

You nodded.

"Thank you for coming to talk to me and for sharing about how this has been for you. I really appreciate it."

She smiled - perhaps genuinely for the first time since you met. It was a lovely smile.

You sighed as she left. It wasn't much, but it was progress. Maybe she would let you in. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard after all.

When several hours had passed with no updates on your lab results, you decided to take a walk down the hall to see how your soulmate was faring. You knocked on his door, but received no answer.

"Namjoon!" you called softly with another rap of your knuckles, but were still met with silence.

Just when you were about to turn and go, the door creaked inward on its hinges, slipping open to reveal your soulmate's tired face.

"I just came to see how you were doing...are you okay?."

You followed him as he slumped back into the suite, but before he could even reach his bed he turned and pushed past you to hurry into the bathroom. It caught you a little off-guard and you stumbled, catching yourself on the opposing wall, but quickly realized the reason for his urgency when sounds of retching followed.

The bathroom door was cracked open and you could see him hunched over the toilet, breathing heavily as his body wracked with each attempt to expel the contents of his stomach. You hesitated a moment, then pushed the door in slowly, coming to kneel beside him and gingerly place a hand on his back.

He raised his head, eyes fluttering when you touched him. You gently pulled your palm up and down his spine, feeling the warm surge of the bond even through his shirt. He reached for a piece of toilet paper to wipe his mouth.

"You don't have to do that..." he murmured, resting his forehead on his arm propped on the porcelain rim.

"I know," you answered quietly, continuing to slowly rub his back. "Can I put my hand under your shirt?"

"You're not supposed to be touching me until we know what's going on with you."

You slipped your other hand out to curl your fingers around his exposed bicep below the sleeve of his tee. He sighed, shoulders sagging as the comfort and warmth of the contact soothed his aching body.

"Can I?" you softly persisted, and he nodded his head where it laid against his forearm.

Slipping your hand beneath the baggy cotton you ran your fingers over his soft, taut skin, heart squeezing at the definition of his spine and the ghosts of his ribs.

"Did you do chemo without me?" you asked.

“I've been doing it before you got here, you know,” he retorted weakly.

"How are you supposed to gain weight if it makes you this sick? Please don't do it again without me."

"You passed out, Y/n," he shifted his head to look at you.

"We'll figure that out," you smiled, "But you need to be as agreeable to these treatments as possible, right?"

He nodded.

"Hyung-seo paid me a visit this morning," you remarked after a moment of silence.

"She told me."

"Said she leaves for her tour tomorrow. When does she get back?"

"February."

"Of next year?" You paused to temper your shock, "That's a long time."

"It's a world tour. That's how it goes."

"Wow."

You realized for the hundredth time in as many hours that there was so much about their lifestyle to which you were ignorant. You had so much to learn, but one thing you did know: he needed you right now, so you stayed by his side until the sickness had subsided.

Nurse Cha arrived shortly after to conduct routine checks on Namjoon, and you sat by, thumbing through the latest issue of Batman and Robin which Matt had been kind enough to drop off with your things.

"Your initial blood work came back with some concerns," she said, turning to you and picking up her tablet to access the results. "There are signs that your body's nutrients are being depleted. Since your fainting spells have been occuring during skinship, we ask that you refrain from touching until your CMP comes back."

Namjoon glanced over at you, a chiding expression on his features. You flatly ignored him.

"I need to be able to touch him, especially if he feels ill. He needs to keep down his food, right?"

Nurse Cha hummed, pursing her lips.

"Well, I'm going to run this by Dr. Na, but if absolutely necessary, keep it light and brief. And please be sure to document even the smallest instances of skinship so that we can track the effects."

You agreed readily, and she left to continue her rounds.

Glancing out the window, you noted that the evening was mild, and the gardens were aflutter with birds and awash in soft late-afternoon light. You thought about what the nurse had said before about the fresh air.

"Hey," you remarked, still looking out the window, "We should take a walk - it looks so nice out. You up for it?"

"Great idea," he replied, joining you to look out across the greenery. "I'm definitely feeling up for it." He huffed out a little chuckle.

"What?" you asked suspiciously. You were beginning to recognize his different laughs - this particular chuckle was always at your expense.

"Gonna keep pushing it with the poor nurse, huh?"

You scoffed.

"Well, if I hadn't would you be feeling well enough to go out right now?"

"No."

When you glanced up you found that he was gazing raptly at you, his face filled with unchecked thanksgiving. Your witty response faltered on your tongue.

His touch, you were pretty damn sure that for the rest of his natural life you would never grow used to it...but his eyes? It was almost the same. Was this part of the bond? Or was it just...him? Did everyone feel this way when he held them in those eyes? When he looked at them, really looked...

You couldn't tear your eyes away. You couldn't find words.

When Namjoon's phone suddenly buzzed you thanked almighty Samsung and sagged against the window pane.

"Damn," he muttered.

You looked at him questioningly.

"I have a consultation with my radiation oncologist in ten minutes. Go ahead! I'll meet you down there right after."

He pulled a sweatshirt over his head and changed his slippers out for his shoes.

You returned to your room to grab outerwear as well. The evening was temperate enough to go without, but you were feeling chillier than usual. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

Mom flashed across the screen.

Your chest tightened and you silenced the ringer. You'd call her tomorrow, you told yourself. Besides, she had already spoken to Matt.

When you reached the garden, you decided there was someone you should call while you waited. Ambling down a gravel path, you held the phone up to your ear, stuffing your other hand into the pocket of your jean jacket.

"Matt told mom that you passed out - are you okay?" Diana's voice on the other end registered genuine distress.

You rolled your eyes and sighed.

"I'm fine. My body is just adjusting to the bond and probably jet lag and whatnot."

"You better fucking be fine or I'm coming out there to make sure you are."

You laughed.

"To South Korea? On a Wednesday?"

"You know what I mean, god! You're so - hey! How did the fiancee thing go?"

"I knew you'd want an update."

"Spill."

You sighed.

"Uh-oh," she hummed, "That was your, things-are-an-effing-disaster sigh."

"It was no- why do you keep trying to divine my air flow like they're casting-runes or something? Will you just let me tell you?"

"You don't always say."

You huff in exasperation.

"Okay, well, I won't tell you what that sigh is," she mumbles in trepidation, "But I will tell you that I know enough to shut up and let you continue. Go on."

"It didn't go swimmingly."

"Fuck."

"Yeah,” You lifted your fingers to absently stroke at the petal of a rose. “She seemed very frightened by the whole situation, which is completely understandable. But then...she also kind of came at me. She started asking pretty intimate stuff about the bond right off the bat. When I tried to redirect by suggesting we get to know each other better she started saying all this stuff she already knew about me. About Dad and Mom."

"What?!" Diana gasped incredulously.

"It was almost as if...I don't know, I could have been reading her incorrectly, but it was almost seemed as if she was trying to bring things up that might knock me off my footing. Make me...insecure."

You suddenly remembered your conversation with Namjoon the previous night. He hadn’t let on that he had already known your father passed when you were a child...but he had known. Passing out during skinship had gotten in the way of the conversation you had intended to broach with him about knowledge of the other. You had done research before meeting him, but only the basics. You had felt that as much should come from him as possible. Clearly you hadn’t been given that opportunity.

"That bitch," Diana seethed, pulling your mind back into the moment.

"Hey, hey, hey," you cautioned her, "She's in a extremely difficult situation. And that was just my biased impression of her intentions. Don't be too quick to judge her, Di."

Diana hummed discontentedly.

"Also, she came to apologize to me today before she leaves on tour. We made progress, I think."

"Apologizing? Bare minimum," Diana said with an air of dismissal. "What did you say her name was?"

"Kim Hyung-seo. Her stage name is Bibi."

Diana was silent for a moment.

"Found her," she declared.

You smiled to yourself - of course she had found her, the woman was famous. It wasn't as if stalking measures were necessary (though you had no doubt of Diana's abilities should that have been the case).

Diana clicked her tongue in disappointment.

"She's hot."

"She is very pretty," you agreed.

"Yeah, but you're hot too. And, y'kow, you're you. Bet you're smarter..."

"Di," you said, stopping to pinch your brow, "We're not in some kind of competition. We're both just human beings navigating pretty uncharted waters, okay? We both have our strengths and weaknesses. She's going to be part of my life as Namjoon's wife, so not only is building a good relationship with her important to me, I have a responsibility to her as well. We all do. To each other."

Your sister paused on the other end before relenting sullenly.

"Yeah, yeah. I guess you're right - you do need to make nice with her...as long as they're married, that is..."

"DIANA."

"Okay! Geez!" Diana cleared her throat. "How is the soulmate doing?"

"He's getting stronger every day," you answered, happily moving the topic away from Hyung-seo.

"That's great!" she crooned.

"It is."

"Are you smiling? You sound like you're smiling."

"How are you doing, Di? Classes are starting soon."

You smirked as your sister's attention surged in a new direction, and for the next half an hour she regaled you with tales of her new housemates, and the smarmy and unseemly Johnnie (who had come crawling back, as predicted, upon returning to the States).

Upon hanging up with Diana, you checked the time, and discovered that it had been nearly an hour since you left Namjoon. You were starting to feel weak, and a bit cold - hunger, you told yourself - so you decided to return indoors for dinner.

You called Namjoon on the way up to the fifth floor to inform him if your change in plans. He apologized profusely, saying that the doctor had been detained, and asked you to join him for dinner.

Letting yourself into his suite, you shrugged your jacket off as you headed for your usual spot on the couch when, suddenly, you froze.

A man was rising to stand from where he had been seated on the sofa. He was clad in a dark blue button-down with a golden emblem on the shoulder and black slacks. He wore a black cap which bore a similar insignia to the one on his shirt and fit snugly over his short dark hair. He wasn’t as tall as Namjoon, though his shoulders were nearly as wide. His features were soft but arresting, and his deep brown irises, you thought, seemed to hold a bit of everything a pair of eyes could. Your comic book was in his hand.

You crossed the room toward him.

"Hi, I’m sorry, Namjoon will be here soon - oh, I'm his soulmate, Y/n," you stammered, before catching yourself.

The young man's sharp eyes widened, his lips parting as you bowed.

"Je ireum-eun Y/n imnida," you started over in Korean.

He bowed in return, raising his dark brown eyes to you again as he responded in a soft deep voice.

"Annyeonghaseyo, je ireum-eun Min Yoongi imnida."

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evillemons · 3 months

Text

NAMJOON’S IDEAL TYPE (RM pt. 1)

~ a manifestation of his ideal girlfriend. Continuation into part 2 and part 3. Masterlist here.

Key words: kind, warm, intelligent, independent, extroverted, chic, passionate, career-oriented.

Her personality:

• Unlike Jungkook and Yoongi who I would see being more open minded when it comes to their relationships, Namjoon would be quite specific with whom he chooses to date.

• A lot of depictions of Namjoon’s girlfriend type her as cold and intimidating, but I mostly disagree. He once said his celebrity crush is Blake Lively, so I see him drawn to someone warm, kindhearted, and friendly, but also self-assured and practical.

• MBTI: ESFJ or ENFJ. A natural leader who is empathetic and compassionate.

• She would be incredibly intelligent, both from an academic and philosophical standpoint. Highly educated with a Master’s or Doctorate degree (he has repeatedly stated that a “sexy mind” is important to him).

• Well-spoken and eloquent. Independent and confident as hell.

• She could have a variety of careers; it could be prestigious such as a doctor or lawyer, but she could also do something more “subtly” influential like health policy or international affairs (or maybe even a highly successful book editor?). I could also see him with another celebrity musician/actor.

• Career-oriented, ambitious, and a hard worker. She would hold a lot of value in her job and have a deep passion for it.

• Naturally kind and humble; qualities they share due to experiences of hardships.

• While not nearly as much as him, she would make a decent amount of money. This would make her independent and self-sufficient.

• She would be quite skilled at whatever she does, including her hobbies and work, due to her high work ethic.

• While kind and good with people, she would not be shy or a pushover. She wouldn’t hesitate to call people out on their bad behavior or stand up for what she believes in.

• Not unlike Namjoon, she wouldn’t want to play games in a relationship. She would be direct and have an all-or-nothing mentality.

• Her hobbies might include creative outlets such as fashion, painting, baking, or visiting museums. I think Namjoon would really enjoy someone who has an appreciation for art in some form.

• She might come off as highly flirtatious due to her friendly nature, but would not get satisfaction out of superficial relationships, nor would she like shallow people.

• High emotional intelligence.

• She might be a little impatient, which is well balanced by Namjoon’s calmness and patience.

• Values respect, equality, and kindness (aka gentleman King Kim Namjoon).

• She wouldn’t be intimidated by his fame. She would see him fully as Kim Namjoon the human rather than a celebrity.

Her looks and sexuality:

• While I don’t see Namjoon as superficial, he would undoubtedly be attracted to someone feminine and “pretty”.

• Very likely to be American (but any Race/Ethnicity). While this is obviously not exclusive, he seems to be very drawn to the American career-woman type. It would be nice if she also spoke Korean, but his English fluency would make it easy for them to communicate regardless.

• She would always be well put together and have a strong understanding of fashion.

• Classic, chic style. She could prefer to wear neutrals and lots of black, but I could also see her loving pops of color and gemstone jewelry.

• Red lipstick. Probably smells nice.

• She might wear glasses at home or when she is working.

• Effortlessly sexy. We all know he is a sucker for a sexy woman.

• Somewhat modest, though. She is thin, but naturally sexy due to slight curves and flirtatious nature.

• I do see him preferring someone very well-kempt. She might do pilates or yoga and be subtly toned. She would also have excellent hygiene.

• Long ass legs to match his own. Average to tall height without surpassing him (5’5-5’9 or 165-175 cm). She would love to wear heels nonetheless.

• She might be the same age as him or older; he would unlikely date someone too much younger unless they are as mature and wise as he is. I think he would find dating someone older than him to be super hot.

• She would either be straight or bisexual with a preference for men (I would like to think he would have no issue with this generally, although he might oversexualize it at first).

• Probably gets hit on a lot a quite attractive woman. Although friendly, she would not indulge men she is not interested in.

• Might have a few fine line tattoos on her arms or back that are unique and personal.

• Maybe some extra ear piercings too, but nothing extreme or out of the ordinary.

• She is an overall attractive, well-put together woman. Her confidence and intelligence may seem intimidating, but her warm and friendly aura acts as a people magnet.

• HOWEVER, Joonie is such a kind and open-minded soul that if he met someone he liked and was compatible with, I think all demographics, looks, etc. would be out the window.

• While he comes off as a little woman-crazy, at the end of the day he just wants a deep and meaningful connection with someone.

#namjoon #rm #bts #bts rm #kim namjoon #namjoon x oc #namjoon x reader #namjoon ideal type #rm x oc #rm x reader #namjoon boyfriend #namjoon relationship #namjoon imagine #rm imagine #bts headcanons #namjoon headcanons

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xddaengx · 1 year

Text

The Little Things

✧ Pairings: ot7 BTS x Reader

✧ Genre: fluffy ⎜romance ⎜ polyamory ⎜ recovery au ⎜idol!bts ⎜sfw ⎜domestic!bts au ⎜established relationship ⎜

✧ Warnings: mentions of heart condition ⎜ mentions of surgery ⎜ reader is in recovery from a surgery ⎜ bts just being sweet ⎜

✧ Word Count: 4.2k

✧ Summary: You've never been more glade to have seven men by your side to help with your recovery. Even when times get tough you know they have your back.

Inspiring Song : Hold Us Together by H.E.R and Tauren Wells

✧ Author’s Note: This was requested by @lelewright1234 - i didn't follow to request to a tee and it ended up more domestic and fluffy then angst but I hope you still like it.

‘The rising stars from South Korea are stunning all with their good looks. Girls all over the world and wondering whether these six young men have anyone special in their lives. Just look at our swooning reporter on the red carpet.’

The camera pans over, six very familiar faces fill the screen for a moment, each holding a long glare at the flashing lights in front of them, trying to follow each instruction given by the paparazzi. The camera continues to pan, stopping on the wide mouthed blonde reporter watching them move down the red carpet towards her, you can almost see her vibrating with excitement.

“I don’t know why you always watch these.” The remote is snatched from your hand as a body drops heavily onto the couch besides you, the channel quickly changing despite your protesting. “I wasn’t even there.” He adds.

“Hey, I was watching that.” You hiss, leaning over trying to snatch the controller back. The larger man just smiles, stretching his arm so it’s further away, the remote far out of reach. “I like watching them all on the carpet, they look so handsome in your suits.” You coo, smiling with triumph as the channel flicks back. “You’d look great too if you were there.” You say with triumph.

“That’s all you had to say.” Your gaze pauses on the screen, the boys standing stiff on the carpet as a girl tries to squeeze in the middle of them, asking quickly for a photo. You continue to watch as the boys smile politely not declining as the girls manager snaps a quick shot.

“Do you know who she is?” You question turning towards the large man, surprised as he shakes his head a grimace on his face.

“No, but manager Se jin probably just told them to smile and take the photo, I think shes some record label CEO’s daughter.” You feel a shiver run down his spine as he reaches for you, one arm draping over your shoulder his remaining hand beckoning your closer.

“So, do you have anyone special in your life?” You question, your voice mimicking the earlier reporters as you hold your invisible microphone towards him, your body leaning forwards as he tugs you against him, landing on his chest with a heavy ooft.

“Why I do happen to have someone special at home… Someone very very special to all of us.” Jin speaks softly into your fake microphone, smiling at the way he feels the goosebumps raise on your skin. “We’ve all missed you cupcake.” He hums as you relax against him, dropping your invisible mic to lean against his chest, basking in his comforting warmth. You watch beeps loudly at his words, a deep chuckle escaping in.

“Making your heart flutter?” He questions jokingly, your hands making quick work of ripping off the watch and throwing it to the other side of the couch. You glare up at him before repositioning until your back lay against his chest, your head sitting comfortably in the crook of his neck.

“When are the others getting back?” You question, lacing your fingers with his and he rests them against your stomach, one finger tracing the adhesive gauze on your upper chest.

“Soon.” He says softly, his breath whispering against your skin as he sighs after, his fingers tracing over your collarbones. “How long till your next check up?” He questions.

“A few weeks, but they think everything is going to be fine, it wasn’t major surgery just a battery replacement.” You respond quickly, your body almost fully relaxed against him as you hear the front door open, the rush of shoes being shaken off and slippery steps down the hallway.

“Be gentle, she’s still recovering.” You hear Hoseok yell down the hallway, Jin groaning as the younger three member bound into the living room, their faces bright with excitement. Jin presses a soft kiss on your cheek before helping you sit up, slipping out from behind you leaving space available for the others to fit.

“Before you all ask the same question, she’s fine, doing well, still sleepy and sore, she has a check up in a few weeks to ensure everything is going well but she needs to rest until then.” Jin spits out the information your relayed to him over the afternoon, his hand squeezing on your upper thigh the whole car ride home from the surgery centre.

Taehyung is the first to take a seat, plopping on the floor in front of you, his chin resting gently against your knee as he looks up at you. “How do you feel?” He whispers, one of his hands sitting tight against your ankle his eyes locked with yours.

“Fine. A little sleepy is all, doctor said the anaesthetic can take a few hours to ware off.” You answer, your hand reaching for him, running through his freshly dyed black locks, pushing the hair away from his face. Jimin is the next to plonk next to you, his movements soft and slow, not wanting to jostle the couch wrong and hurt you. His gaze is worried as he glances over you making sure there were no signs of discomfort or pain, once he’s satisfied you aren’t lying he shoots your a bright grin, your own smile mirroring his.

Jungkook is last of the three to join you, taking a moment to watch his friends before shaking his head and barreling towards you, his body slides behind you, his arms snatching you up and tugging you against him. “I’m glad you’re okay.” He mumbles as he buries his head into your hair, letting out a delighted sigh at the smell of your perfume. The older members finally walk into the lounge room taking in the sight with a roll of their eyes, carrying on into the kitchen to help Jin with dinner.

“Put the monitor back on.” You hear Jin shout from the kitchen, Jimin passing it to you quickly, your face in a pout as you secure it back on your wrist. The doctors demanded you wear a pulse rate monitor over the next to weeks to keep record of any possible complications.

This may have been your first battery replacement but was certainly not your first operation.

The first was when you were six, diagnosed with bradycardia and syncope, often having strange fainting spells when playing with your friends. You doctors were concerned that partial collapse of a valve may be causing the slow heart rhythm so they cut you open.

The second operation was when you were twelve for the pace maker to be placed, too many trips to the emergency room over the six years between meant your doctors wanted to give you a way to reset your rhythm without a trip to the hospital.

The third surgery was three weeks later when your pacemaker had a malfunction, your father rushing you to the emergency room as the machine shocked your heart several times with no reason, the doctors went in and placed a new one, this one was successful.

Your fourth surgery was six hours ago, the first time your pacemaker has alerted you to a low battery, the doctors happy to see the machine was doing well, decided a quick battery replacement should do the trick, and once you get signed off in two weeks it should be another ten to fifteen years before you need another surgery.

The heart monitor beeped loudly if you had a interruption to the rhythm, whether it be a slow in rate or a raise in rate, the machine loved to alert the boys when they made you get butterflies in your tummy, like it was now. Taehyung raises and eyebrow in amusement as you slap at the watch trying to turn off the alarm as Jungkook presses soft kisses on your skin, whispering about how much he missed you. Jimin just rolled his eyes at the youngest affections.

It had been two weeks since you’d seen any of them but Jin, the six members attending schedules in America while Jin came home a week early to care of you leading up to your surgery. The risk of complications while the pacemakers battery was running out was high so he wanted to be there in case something happened. The company had made up a statement about covid that quickly quashed any fan concerns as to why the oldest wasn’t attending the award shows.

The night continues easily, the eight of you slipping into routines as if nothing ever happened. The movie closed with its credits your body sat in the direct middle of the couch, the two boys still besides you and one still perched on the floor in front of you, his head resting on your knees as you braid and unbraid his hair, happy for the minor distraction of playing with his hair.

Your eyes are burning from the effort its taking to keep them open, the long day and recovery from the anaesthetic leaving you feeling tired and weak. Most of the boys had noticed as your fingers slowed in Taehyung hair halfway through the movie.

“I think its bed time.” Yoongi is the first to speak, pushing himself up from the couch before moving to stand in front of you, his hands reaching out to help you stand. You place your hands in his, happy for the assistance as he pulls you off the soft cushions, Taehyung protesting as the loss of warmth on his back.

“You’ll see her tomorrow don’t be such a baby.” Yoongi grumbles, his hands tightly clasping yours as he pulls you away from the others, your gaze shooting over your shoulder as you bid them all farewell. Yoongi’s apartment was down the hall from Jin’s a twenty second walk, the producer unlocking the door quickly leading you inside before closing the door, disabling the keypad so the others couldn’t sneak in.

“I thought you could actually use some sleep tonight.” Yoongi says quietly, his gaze flicking down to the small bandage on your chest before back to your face.

“Well the doctor said no strenuous exercise for the next six weeks so nothing could’ve happened anyway.” You chuckle, leaning forwards to press a soft peck against his cheeks before making your way down the hall to his bathroom. You stop in your tracks as you glance at the fluffy robe and variety of soaps on the counter, a pair of brand new slippers sitting besides the shower as well.

“I thought you might want a nice hot shower, I know anaesthetics always make me feel slimy.” He says coming up behind you, his comments bring back the reminder of his own recovery from his shoulder repair, the joint stinging with phantom pain as his opposite hand raises to rub at it.

His words seem come out confident but you can tell by the way his hand reaches for yours that he was nervous about his gift. “It’s perfect. It’s the little things that matter.” You respond, a small gummy smile breaking out on his face as he offers to leave you alone while you shower.

“Actually, I might need some help.” You whisper, unsure how to ask. “It really hurts to raise my arms and I need to wash my hair.” You add on, Yoongi faltering but nodding in agreement quickly. Yoongi moves quick to run the bath, deciding it would be easier to wash your hair in the large tub, your body being able to relax in the steaming water.

“Be careful not to wet the surgical site.” Yoongi comments as he faces the wall, wanting to give you privacy as you slip out of your pyjamas, slowly dropping into the warm water, letting out a sigh of relief as the warmth surrounds you. You’re careful to do as Yoongi says, keeping your upper chest sitting just above the waterline.

“You can turn around.” You say quietly, not knowing why the situation felt so different. The two of you had seen each other naked before, multiple times even but this felt weird.

You felt vulnerable, as he perches on his knees besides the tub, his gaze locking on your face and not daring to glance anywhere else as he prepares the shampoo and conditioner. His eyes slip slightly landing on the light bruising around your surgical site, the clear waterproof bandage the only thing keeping the wound safe from the water.

“Does it hurt a lot?” He questions, shuffling on his knees a bit so he’s closer to your head.

“Not a lot, more of an ache then anything.” You respond, your eyes automatically closing as he cups the water dampening the hair before beginning to massage in the soapy shampoo.

“It’s mango.” He comments. “You’re favourite.” You hum in delight, your body relaxing a little bit further as his finger work against your scalp, slipping down the massage the back of your neck before he rinses the bubbles off your head.

Yoongi makes quick work of the hair wash, drying his hands on a towel as he leaves you to finish washing up on your own, wanting to prepare the bed. You manage to pull yourself out of the bathtub with minimal struggle, slipping your arms into the cozy robe and your feet into your new slippers before shuffling down the hallway to Yoongi’s bedroom, letting out a groan of delight as the large pillowy bed, the covers already pulled back, your fresh pyjamas sitting on the edge.

You dress quickly, deciding Yoongi must be cleaning himself up, before sliding onto the mattress, the bed feeling like a soft cocoon at the end of a long day. It doesn’t take long for your eyes to drift close, Yoongi walking into the room almost silently with the cups of tea, letting out a light chuckle at your clearly asleep form on the bed.

He’s quick to forgo the tea placing both full cups onto the night stand before tugging the feather down duvet over your clean body. He takes a few moments, sweeping your drying hair out of your face, his finger playing with the springy curls on top of your head, he knows he’ll have to brush in your curl refreshing conditioner tomorrow and help you brush out some knots, but reminds himself that’s a problem for later.

Yoongi switches off the lamp besides you before making his way to the other side, slipping under the covers making himself comfortable before wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling your body close to his as he presses a kiss against the crown of your head.

“Thank you for being here.” He whispers, pretending not to notice the quiet alert of your heart monitor.

“Should we tell her?” The voices whisper outside the closed bedroom door, the mattress is empty besides you, Yoongi must’ve snuck out earlier. The ache in your chest is stronger than yesterday, your pain medications clearly wearing off, you finally lift your head from the pillows glancing down at your phone to see a stream of missed calls and text messages.

You lock your phone again, not wanting to read any messages as you push yourself out of the bed, swinging the door open with a look of confusion, the seven men huddled outside the bedroom.

“Tell me what?” You question, your arms crossing against your chest as each of them look around the circle in questioning.

“There was an article released this morning.” Namjoon is the first to speak, sending a quick nod to Jimin who pulls up the news site on his phone showing you the title as Namjoon continues to explain. “Jin was sighted at the hospital when he went to pick you up - dispatch has sent the internet on a spiral to figure out who you are and what he was doing there.” You feel the way your stomach drops in dread.

As open as you and the boys were with your relationship, you had always been careful with public affection and exposing yourself, dreading the day their fans found out and how they’d react to the news.

“And?” You spur Namjoon to continue.

“They’ve found what they needed, HYBE is currently in contacts with lawyers but they think it’s for the best if a comment is made as soon as possible.” Joon sighs and rubs his forehead, Jimin taking his leaders silence as a cue to finish explaining.

“They want you and Jin to come out with an offical statement that you’re in a relationship.” You can’t help the way your brows furrowed, confusion setting in. “Just you and Jin.” Jimin adds, his own eyes soft as he reaches out to squeeze your hand.

“Our relationship is taboo cupcake.” Jin speaks quickly, “It will make things easier if the news is shared about a couple not an octuple.” He explains, not being able to help the chuckle at his own choice of words.

“Well what do you all think?” You ask slowly. You can already tell from Kook’s face that he’s uncomfortable, the rest seem to be keeping their emotions under raps.

You all knew this would happen one day, news would get out and scandals would ensue but you never thought it would be so soon, and for some reason never considered only telling the world about one eighth of your relationship.

“It’s for the best, it’ll lessen the blow to the fans.” Taehyung speaks, his face set in stone as he sighs, “They wouldn’t take it well if they knew you managed to snag all seven of us.” You can appreciate the way his comment makes the rest of the room light up, each of the boys letting out a hum in agreement.

“I’ll make the call to the heads.” Namjoon leaves the apartment with his phone pressed to his ear.

News spreads quickly, headlines upon headlines about world wide handsome being stolen from the market - it’s not long before it feels like your entire identity is put online for the world to see and scrutinise, photos of you spreading like wildfire.

The older members had left an hour ago to attend a press conference to answer any questions that needed to be answered about the worldwide news - Jungkook had left for his training session at the local boxing gym, Jimin having to leave for some conference calls about an upcoming project.

“Everything will be fine.” Taehyung whispers against your head as his body wraps around you, your head tucked under his chin as he rubs soothing circles on your back. “Jin has been the best at setting boundaries, fan are more likely to respect his choices.” Taehyung continues softly, his soothing working well for your anxieties though you can tell he’s bitter about the situation.

“I know, but what if they don’t like me?” You ask, quickly adding, “the fans, I mean.”

Taehyung just shakes his head in disbelief, letting out a breathy laughs as he mumbles, “doesn’t matter, cause as long as we love you, they have no choice but to love you too.” His laugh grows heartier as your watch lets out a high pitched alarm, your emotions never allowed to be a secret.

You’re not quiet sure when the two of you fell asleep, maybe it was around the third final destination movie, the sounds of endless screaming lulling you both into comfortable slumber, but you awake slowly to the soft poking against your shoulder.

“Love?” Taehyung’s voice rumbles underneath you, his phone screen lighting up his face as he turns it towards you, a proud smile on his face.

‘Jin is a lucky man.’

‘I heard she survived a heart attack, only the strongest partner for our worldwide handsome.’

“I’ve never had a heart attack but close enough” you sputter.

‘If I were the other members I’d be jealous of Jin.’

The comments underneath the article from dispatch are coming in troves, each of them more complimentary then the last. “Bet this isn’t what they expected.” Taehyung laughs proudly as he continues to read the comments being left under the article.

“I wish I was as pretty as her.” He reads in a high pitched tone.

“If I were the other members I would have such a big crush.” He continues.

“I love her hair.” He speaks the compliment with a bright smile, pinching a curl between his thumb and pointer finger, straightening out the piece of hair before letting it spring back in place. “I told you they’d love you.” He brag, locking his phone and placing it to the side.

“They’re right you know.” Taehyung says softly as you climb off of him, bushing your hair back into a hair tie to keep it off your face. You look at him in question as he wastes no time in teasing, “I have the biggest crush on you.”

Things were different now - Jin was able to take you to events, you often preferring to hang around the managers while they walked down the red carpet, taking photos and answering questions, but as soon as the spotlight was off them, Jin hand met with yours, your fingers linking together as he leads you to the table set up for your group.

The emerald green dress you wore was custom order by Taehyung, the cut of the front and back a low V showing off the pink scars on your chest and back - the man whispering endless praise throughout the night as you faced your fears of showing off the large scarring.

The boys had been making it clear in interviews that although you were Jin’s ‘girlfriend’ they all had a strong connection with you and cared for you deeply, trying to hint in a discreet way their feelings for you to the public.

Most fans has taken the relationship well, the rare few complaining that their beloved was stolen from them - but none had been as bold as the reporter tonight.

“Your girlfriend is brave.” She says to Jin, Namjoon translating quickly as she speaks, “Showing up with her misfortunes on display like that - I wouldn’t dare.” She laughs at the end of her sentence trying to play off the insult as a joke. Namjoon freezes, not sure how to translate what the female reporter said, looking at her with a stern gaze.

“I think this interview is over.” He says sternly, manager Se jin nodding quickly, guiding your group further up the carpet to the next reporter waiting. Namjoon pauses for a minute before turning back to the stunned reporter.

“She is brave.” He confirms. “She is braver than you will ever be, she has survived horrible illness and has recovered and she is free to be proud of her battle scars, I think you should really think about your remarks in the future.” Namjoon is nothing but professional, but all of you can see the way his body is coiled tight with anger.

You send him a quick smile as he rejoins the group, continuing the evening as if nothing every happened.

“I appreciate what you said.” You say softly as the body guards pull out your chair besides the leader, the two of you taking a seat at the table. Your hand reaches for Namjoon’s on the table giving it a quick squeeze before letting go, not wanting to give anyone time to snap a picture.

“Anytime.” He jokes, the dimple on his cheek deepening as he sends you a bright smile. “I feel like we’re going to have some new headlines by the end of the night.” He sighs as he rubs his chin, the smile still not dropping from his face.

“I’m sure everyone will find any footage of angry Joon as attractive as I do.” You tease, smiling at the way the pink rises on his neck and the tips of his ears. “Finally.” You exclaim, glad for once your emotions aren’t the one on display, only to let out a long groan as your watch lets out a wail in alarm at your excitement, the group letting out howling laughs.

This you could get used to.

#bts #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts ot7 x reader #seokjin #jin #yoongi #suga #hoseok #jhope #namjoon #rm #jimin #taehyung #v #jungkook #poly au #established relationship

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luciathcv · 2 months

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drunken facetime - jjk

summary: your boyfriend drunkenly says something embarrassing to you in front of your mom || warnings: jungkook is drunk || genre: fluff, established relationship, suggestive, angst, comfort || word count: approximately 800

I sat in the car with my mom, the both of us had just finished having dinner together, and she was currently driving us back home, where my boyfriend, Jungkook, was waiting.

She was busy talking to me about work when my phone started vibrating in my lap. I looked down at it and checked it, seeing that Jungkook was Facetiming me.

"It's Jungkook." I told her. She knew Jungkook, considering I've been dating him for a few years at this point and the fact that I've lived with him for a while as well.

"Answer him." My mom told me, wanting to say hello. And so I accepted the Facetime, not thinking much of it.

When I answered the call, I could see that Jungkook was in the living room, his hair was a bit messy and his face was a little red.

"Hi, baby." Jungkook said, and I could tell that he was drunk as his voice was a little slurred.

"Hey. What's up?" I asked with a smile as I looked at my phone.

"I just wanted to check in on my baby." Jungkook told me and I couldn't help but blush a bit at his words.

"I'm having a good time. My mom's driving me home right now." I told my boyfriend. I then moved my phone so that Jungkook could see my mom and my mom waved at him.

"Hey, Jungkook." My mom greeted him.

"Hey, (your mom's name)." Jungkook said back sweetly. "How are you?" He asked.

"I'm good. How are you?" My mom responded.

"Good. Thank you." Jungkook said and I turned the phone to face me again.

"I'll be there soon." I told him.

"Good, when you get home I'm going to make love to you so good, you-" Jungkook started saying, whispered, but still loud enough for both my mom and I to hear.

I gasped as I heard what he said, "Jungkook!" I said, shocked as I avoided looking over at my mother.

"What?" He asked, really not seeing the problem with what he did in the moment.

"I- I'm hanging up." Is all I said before I hung up the Facetime.

I looked over at my mom awkwardly as she just laughed. Oh my god. I couldn't believe him.

I walked into the apartment and took my shoes off, still feeling immensely embarrassed. I walked down the hallway and into our bedroom as I changed out of my clothes and into some pajamas. As I was putting my shirt on, my back facing the door, Jungkook walked inside the room, and quietly walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my stomach and nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck.

I was upset with him so I pushed him off of me and stepped away, putting my shirt on all of the way. I then turned to face him.

"What's wrong, baby?" Jungkook asked. "Why'd you hang up on me so fast?" He then asked.

"What's wrong?" I repeated. "I'm so embarrassed." I told him. "You talked about making love to me and my mom heard you!" I complained.

"She did?" Jungkook asked.

"Obviously." I said as I walked past him and out of the room, sitting down on the couch next to Bam as I started petting him.

Jungkook followed after me, sitting next to me on the couch. "I'm sorry, baby." I pouted as I looked down at Bam who was now laying his head on my lap. "I would never embarrass you on purpose, especially in front of your mom." Jungkook said as he put his hand in mine, squeezing it gently.

When he said that, no matter how upset I was, I knew that he meant it. He always did everything to protect me from everything really, but embarrassment too, even when he was drunk so I knew he wasn't lying when he said that.

"I know.." I said as I looked over at him. "Do you forgive me?" Jungkook asked.

I gave him a pouted look, making him smile a little, before I nodded. Bam hoped off of the couch, going to drink from his water bowl, and as soon as he did so, Jungkook gently pushed me so that I was laying down on the couch, before he got on top of me and started kissing me all over my face.

I giggled as he did so, his hair tickling me. Jungkook then pulled away for a moment, looking down at me. "I love you so much." Jungkook told me.

"I love you too." I said with a smile as I looked up at him, holding onto his biceps.

He smiled down at me before leaning down and kissing me. You forgave him but were the both of you definitely going to be embarrassed the next time you saw your mother? For sure.

-- link to my masterlist

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i-am-baechu · 1 year

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Title: In The Lonely Hour (M)

Genre: Husband! Jungkook, Wife! Reader, lovers to strangers!, CEO! Jungkook, Doctor! Reader, flashbacks, established relationship, cheating, fluff, angst, small part of smut and reader x surprise

Summary: The perfect couple on screen and the flashes captured all the smiles but they couldn’t see the broken heart she carries. Every Night she was left alone as he “worked” late but she knew he was “working” hard with the assistant he just hired. She convinces him to get divorce for losing feelings for each other but she decides to keep a big secret from him. A secret that changes her life but doesn’t touch his, until now.

Warning: Mentions of cheating, cheating, sex scene, car accident, hospital, insecurities, angst, fluff and romance

There was a moment when I thought I knew everything. Well...I thought I knew everything about you. The way you always held me made me feel safe and everything just made sense. Your chocolate eyes told me everything I needed to know...apparently, I missed the warning they were giving me. Maybe I’m just not enough but you made me realize my deepest fear...

“Mrs. Jeon! Over here!”

She turned towards the reporter and gave out her award-winning smile. Everyone in the city spoke about her smile, saying it was the top of the top. They said it was the smile that some actresses wished they had but little did they know, Jeon Y/N was an actress herself. She walked up to some of the reporters and one of them threw a question that was the main question of her life, “Mrs. Jeon, where is your husband?”

“He’s working on a big project. I heard it's for a park, keep an eye out for that.”

“How is it working during these hard times?”

Y/N smiled at them and let out a small laugh, “I love being a doctor. Even though my hospital is backed up right now, that doesn’t mean it's all bad. We’re doing our hardest to ease the tension.”

“Mrs. Jeon, what about Park Chanyeol? There were rumors you had lunch with him recently, any comment?”

“Park Chanyeol and I have had no communication lately. We are good friends but I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Mrs. Jeon, can you send a message to your husband?”

Irritated. That’s how she felt when she heard that question but she had to put on a face to make sure everything went well. She looked into the camera and gave the fakest smile that she could muster at the moment, “Neh, Jungkook~. I hope you're working hard tonight, I know you are.”

She bowed at the reporters and when she walked away her smile dropped into a frown when her back was towards them, “I know you are...”

She made her way inside the big venue and she sat in the front row. With the cameras flashing on her skin, the fake laughs she clearly did went unnoticed. They only cared for her beauty and charm, nothing more. When they finally left, she took her phone and she wasn’t shocked to see any messages. After all, her husband was “busy”.

“Y/N?”

She turned her head and she smiled when she saw Oh Sehun (her close friend since she was a child), “Sehun...my savior.”

He let out a deep chuckle and sat next to her, “He couldn’t make it?”

She frowned at this and shook her head, “You know why....”

“Y/N, when are you gonna leave him?”

She sighed and looked down at her hands, “I-I...I just need more time.”

“Jungkook has been cheating on you for years...I just want you to be happy.”

“I know. I just need more time, okay.”

The conversation about Jungkook ended and Y/N’s thoughts only created false hope. She’s been with Jungkook her whole life, he was the only thing she knew. The only person that gave her love but that was only in the beginning. Now all she felt was agony whenever he touched her hands or even talked to her.

Jeon Y/N or formally L/N Y/N, she was born into a loving (rich) family. Nothing really happened in her family, it was the perfect family. She was close with her parents and her brother was her best friend, what more could you ask for? She was also on top of her classes and was popular throughout her college, which is where she met Jungkook.

It was final days, Y/N was in the library studying when Sehun sat next to her with a pout. She glanced at him with a raised eyebrow as she let out a small laugh, “What’s up with you?”

“My best friend is in the library when there’s a football game.”

She rolled her eyes and went back to writing her notes, “You know I don’t care about sports.”

“It's the final game and we're seniors. You've never been to a football game, can you come with me?”

“What's in it for me?”

Sehun scoffed at her and rolled his eyes, “Memories. Just come with me.”

“Fine. Let me drop my stuff at my dorm.”

“Really!? Okay, oh Y/N I’m so excited.”

They walked to her dorm together and she heard everyone around her talking about the star quarterback, Jeon Jungkook. She’s heard of him but she didn’t really know what he looked like. She never really bothered with getting to know him when she was focused on her studies. They walked into the loud stadium and Y/N flinched at how loud it was. Sehun led her toward the front and she saw the rest of their friends in their school colors. She smiled at this looking out towards the field.

Sehun saw her looking and leaned down, “That’s the quarterback everyone is talking about, Jungkook. He’s in the same year as us, he's like a prodigy apparently.”

“Good for him...”

“The person next to him is Kim Taehyung, that's his best friend.”

She nodded her head and let out a small laugh, “Do you just know the whole team?”

“It’s kinda hard not to know them.”

“I guess...I’m sure they’ll do good though.”

She watched the quarterback walk into the middle of the field and their eyes locked on each other. He was very handsome, she couldn’t lie about that. He sent a small wave to her and she looked behind her with confusion. When she looked back at him, she pointed to herself. He let out a small laugh and nodded his head. She sent him a small wave and his bunny smile captured her heart. Oh if she could only go back to that happy time before.

She looked around at everyone that was smiling knowing the next award was for Jungkook. She closed her eyes trying to think of good things to say about him, but so far it wasn’t working. She tried to picture herself eight years ago, when she was in love with him. The man who he was before everything turned into shit. When he knew what being loyal was.

“The top CEO of this year belongs to....Jeon Jungkook!!”

She gave the camera a smile before standing up and clapping her hands. She turned around bowing to everyone before making her way to the stage. She gently took the award and she had to stop herself from throwing it on the ground. She went towards the microphone and let out a nervous laugh, “Thank you for voting my husband for this prestigious award. My husband works so hard and I’m so glad you guys can see it with your own eyes. It makes me so proud to be...to be his wife. Thank you so much, my husband is probably crying out in pleasure in his office because of this award. Thank you again.”

Everyone started clapping their hands and she bowed at everyone as her grip on the award tightened. She walked off the stage heading backstage to take pictures for the press. Once that was done, Sehun was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. She sighed and walked to him, “I’m ready to leave this place.”

“I was about to ask that. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

That night, Sehun took her out to her favorite chicken place and everything felt normal. It wasn’t until she realized she still had to go home. She hated going home. It didn’t even feel like a home, it was just a nice house with expensive furniture within it. The drive back home was faster than she wanted it and before she could get out of the car, Sehun grabbed her wrist, “You could always stay at my place or even Chanyeol’s-”

“I’ll be okay. He’s probably at that whore’s house. I’ll be alone...it's better than him being here with me.”

Sehun frowned at this and nodded his head, “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure...thank you for always caring about me. I appreciate it.”

“Always. Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Sehun.”

She watched the car leave her driveway and she let out a small sigh. She turned around and the giant house welcomed her but it wasn’t a warm one. She walked into her house and the darkness welcomed her, something she was used to. She went up the marble stairs as her heels echoed through the house. She made it to her room well, their room. Might as well be called her room at this point.

She placed the award on his side and walked away from it. Just looking at the piece of metal was causing more heart troubles. She got out of her gown putting on her sweats. She glanced out the window smiling when she saw the stars keeping her company tonight. She took her phone out and let out a chuckle, no messages.

She stood in her office reading over the reports, when someone entered. She looked up from her desk as a wave of nerves (the good kind) came her way. Kim Seokjin stood there with his hair sleeked back with a pair of glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, it made her heart beat faster. He gave her a small smile and let out a deep sigh, “I’m sorry but I have to give you another report, Y/N.”

She nodded her head mentally slapping herself for being shy right now. She let out a small cough and stood up from her desk to go over to him. She gently took the folder from him and gave him a nervous smile, “T-Thanks, Dr. Kim.”

“Neh, Y/N, I told you to call me Jin.”

God damn it that's right, “I-I’m sorry, I forgot... hahaha.”

“Oh, by the way...you looked beautiful last night on tv.”

If she had water in her mouth, it would’ve been spat out. She felt her face turning red and she scratched the back of her neck, “Thank you...I try my best with looking good.”

He let out a small laugh and shook his head, “You don’t need to try...I’ll see you at lunch.”

She blinked her eyes at him as she watched him leave her office. She felt like a school girl hearing the older man say that to her. She had a small crush on Seokjin, it was hard not to. Everyone in the office talked about him because he was handsome, kind and charming, everything a man should be. Jin actually recommended her to the hospital, she remembers him saying that she was the best of the best. Ever since then, she had a crush on him. A married woman having a crush should be seen as a sin but she didn’t see herself as a married woman anymore.

She went to sit back at her desk when her cellphone started buzzing in her pocket. She took her phone out and all the joy she had was sucked out of her when she saw the caller Id. She answered the phone, “What?”

“Is that how you answer your phone to your husband?”

“Yes.” She walked back to her desk and sat in her chair as she looked down at the folder. She smiled to herself but it quickly disappeared when she heard his voice again.

“I need the house tonight.”

“Why? So you can fuck Abby or whatever her name is?”

“Her name is Rue and no. I just want to be by myself.”

“I haven’t seen you in like a month...” Yes, she hated him but she also missed him. She missed what they had and even though it's idiotic, she had hoped things would go back. Things would never be normal between them but she just wanted to feel something with him again...instead of being disappointed.

“Well, you can see me tomorrow if you want.”

She sighed to herself and set the folder on her desk, “Whatever you want...I’ll stay at Chanyeol or Sehun’s house.”

“You still talk to them?”

“If you paid attention to your so-called wife then you would know I do.”

“You're overreacting. Anyways, since you miss me so much, we can have dinner tomorrow.”

“Whatever...”

She removed her phone from her ear, rolling her eyes. She was annoyed at him but more at herself. She hated how her heart still yearns for him but she knew it was because she missed how things were. She wasn’t in love with him anymore, she knew that much. She just feels like she had to stay in this marriage to prove to everyone that Jungkook wasn’t bad. It was mostly for herself...she didn’t want to look an idiot.

During lunch, she sat with Sehun and Chanyeol as they gave her a sad look. The same sad look that made her feel worthless. Sehun didn’t say anything (she already knew how he felt) but Chanyeol didn’t stop himself, “Y/N...are you sure going to dinner with him tomorrow is good?”

She wiped her mouth and took a sip of her water, “I mean...it would be good to see him. Just to know how things are.”

Chanyeol shook his head at this, “This isn’t good for you.”

“I know but...I just-”

“Because you're scared to get a divorce. You're scared that once you get the divorce that no one would want you.”

She didn’t say anything. She took another bite of her food and she felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up and her face turned red when saw Jin smiling at her, “I was wondering if we could hang out.”

She swallowed her food and pointed to herself, “Me?”

He let out a small laugh and nodded his head, “Yeah...I missed hanging out with you.”

She blinked her eyes and nodded her head, “Y-Yeah...I would love that.” She glanced at Sehun and Chanyeol who were eating food, avoiding her eyes. She picked up her lunch bag and smiled at him, “Alright show me the way.”

They headed towards his office and she ignored all the eyes that looked at them. She entered his office and sat down as he did the same. He gave her another smile but it felt different from the others. She placed her lunch on the dark wood and before she could grab her fork, Jin placed his hand on top of hers. She looked up at him with a surprised look but didn’t say anything.

“Y/N...I’m worried about you.”

“Oh? Why?”

He sighed and lifted his hand off of her. He gave her a look that made her feel like he truly cared for her (something she wasn’t used to), “Jungkook...you deserve so much better. You always help him while he doesn’t do anything for you. It’s not fair and I’m tired of seeing you get hurt because of him. You deserve better.”

She looked away not wanting him to see tears building up in her eyes but he saw it. She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh, “I have no idea what you're talking about...Jin.”

“You do. Rue has told me everything.”

Her eyes opened widely and turned her head to look at Jin with a shock look, “H-How do-”

“She’s my very confused little sister. I’m very angry at her for doing this and ten times angrier when I found out it was you.”

“Y-Your sister?”

“Sadly yes...well step sister but sister nonetheless. Y/N, are you okay? Don’t tell lies.”

She looked down at her food and shook her head, “I’m f-fine. I-I need to go.”

She got up from the chair in a flash and ran out the room. It happened so fast that Jin couldn’t process what happened. She ran into the bathroom and went inside the stall. She sat on top of the toilet as she started sobbing, not caring if anyone heard. It echoed through the room and the white tiles memorized her crying. She clenched her chest as she leaned forward, hoping it would make her feel better. Why can’t he pick her? She’s done so much for him but it was as if he didn’t care and she hated that she cared about that. When will it be her turn to be happy?

Y/N stared at Jungkook with a blank expression as tears fell down her face, “I-I don’t understand.”

He sighed and crossed his arms at her, as if she was stupid. He leaned against the wall and looked at her with pure hatred in his eyes, “I said we have an open relationship.”

“S-Since when?”

“Since now. I met someone and she's my secretary. I still need you though.”

She was shocked. She didn’t know what to say or do. She couldn’t google what to do when your husband comes home to tell you this. She continued to stare at him with the blank expression, “What’s her name.”

“Kim Rue.” She nodded her head and stood up from the bed. She grabbed her purse and walked out as he watched with a raised eyebrow, “Where are you going?”

“Fuck off.”

It felt surreal. He was in front of her, eating dinner with her. He wasn’t focused on his phone or on another girl, he was focused on her. They were eating dinner at the restaurant that Jungkook proposed to her. It felt so long ago, that it felt like a myth at this point. She didn’t even know why she agreed to this. Sehun didn’t give her his two cents but instead comforted her through the night as she cried. She picked up her wine and looked at him through the clear glass. He still looked so handsome even when he committed sin. Sin that should rip his heart out as he cried out in pain instead of her.

He dropped his fork and gave her a smile (an ugly smile now), "How's the hospital?”

“Good.”

“How-”

“Why did you invite me to this? You have Rue.”

He sighed and looked down at the white cloth before looking back at her, “I need a public outing with my wife.”

She raised her eyebrow and looked around the restaurant. Her eyes landed on the paparazzi that was clearly trying to hide themselves. She sighed and shook her head, “Could’ve told me.”

“Oh? Why?”

“So I could muster a fake smile with you.”

He scoffed at this and took a sip of his drink, “We both know you still love me. So stop acting, come on, let's have a good night. Like old times?”

“You make me sick.”

“Don’t act like that now. You used to love me teasing you.”

“I used to love a lot about you but time has changed.”

She took another sip of her wine and he rolled his eyes at her. He took out a velvet box and pushed it towards her with a gentle smile (the smile that meant so much to her). She glanced down at the box and then at him with a raised eyebrow, making him laugh, “It’s for you. For accepting that award.”

“I’m not a dog. You don’t reward me when I do something.”

“Fucking christ, just accept it.”

She sighed and took the box. She slowly opened it and she let out a small scoff. She glanced at him and smiled (knowing the camera was pointing at her). She leaned forward placing her hand on top of his but her eyes held nothing, “This isn’t my birthstone, asshole.”

“You were born in November? Right?”

“No, I was born in fucking March. Unbelieveable."

She pulled back from him and took out the necklace. It was beautiful but she knew he was thinking of someone else when he got it. She had to wear the necklace, it was for the cameras and she didn’t want him to look bad. She didn’t understand herself. She hated what he did to her but she didn’t want him to look bad, it wasn’t in her nature. Maybe she was naive or even stupid but she wasn’t going to stoop to his level.

She placed the necklace on and gave him a fake smile (not the cameras would know), “Thanks...”

She picked up her wine and took a longer sip as Jungkook watched with a look that she couldn’t decipher. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, “I’m sorry Y/N...I really wanted to get you something. I do appreciate everything you’ve done for me and I couldn’t even do anything for you. I’m sorry.”

She choked on her wine. He was apologizing? He hasn’t done that since the beginning of their relationship but here he was looking bad. She placed her glass back on the table and tilted her head at him, “What are you playing at?”

“I do feel bad...I haven’t been there for you. I’m sorry. I don’t deserve the title of being your husband.”

She was shocked and even that was an understatement. In the three years of him being with Rue, he had never acknowledged his wrong doings. She was convinced that he didn’t even think what he was doing was wrong. She sat there staring at him with pure shocked cause what the fuck was happening right now? She let out a small cough and looked away from his intense eyes, “W-What do you mean?”

“I want to treat you like my wife...if you let me.”

She blinked her eyes at him and pinched her arm. When she realized that this was real life, she had no idea what to do. He was looking at her the same way he used to and it honestly made her feel happy. She wasn’t sure if she loved him or not but feeling seen by him made her feel special. She slowly nodded her head at him, “O-Okay...”

The “couple” made their way outside of the restaurant with the cameras flashing on them. She posed next to him with a real smile this time and it felt nice to have that feeling again. He grabbed her hand and headed to his car with silence that didn’t feel like it was killing her. He drove the car to somewhere that was familiar but it wasn’t home. She glanced out the window and frowned, “Why are we going to the office?”

“Its a surprise.”

She didn’t say anything after that. What was there to say? She knew no matter how many questions came out of her mouth, he wouldn’t answer them. She continued to stare out the window. When they stopped at a light her eyes landed on a mother and her child. It was a sight that melted her heart, the mother held the child and kissed its cheeks. This little scene made her smile because it made her think of her own mother, someone who she needed to call soon.

They walked inside the building that caused so many insecurities for her but she let him lead the way. The elevator ride had this tension, she couldn’t explain it. It was more coming from him than herself but she didn’t want to question it. She didn’t want to embarrass herself if she was wrong. When they walked onto his floor, her eyes wandered to the desk in front of his office. That's where she sat. Y/N pictured her in her head. She was of course younger than she was and she looked like an actress but she didn’t have that mature aura that Y/N had. She saw him coming up to her for a chat or even a peck on the forehead. Before her thoughts consumed her, Jungkook pulled her into his office.

Confusion couldn’t even describe how she felt. Here he was looking at her like how they first had sex. It made her feel warm. There was the warmth in his eyes that has been missing for years and she saw it tonight. She felt it tonight, it felt like the first time.

A breathless gasp left her lips. In a matter of seconds, their hands were everywhere. Their breathing quickened and soft gasps echoed in his dorm room. They were hastily pulling off clothes as Jungkook placed kisses on the new territory. Jungkook pulled away from her neck and she titled her head at him with a confused look, “What?”

“Nothing.” He gave her a smile and leaned forward placing a kiss on her forehead, making her giggle, “You’re just so beautiful.” Her face turned red and turned her head from him, “Sh-shut up.”

She pulled him back in for a kiss, wrapping her legs around his waist to bring them closer. So close that she felt his hard cock against her. She felt a shiver at the feeling and he was now humping her at a rapid speed. His hard, throbbing cock slid between her folds (hitting her clit at some points) as he let out a loud groan, “Y/N, I-I want it so bad.”

“Fuck me Kook.”

Hearing her words, he scrambled grabbing his dick and pushing it in. In her head, Y/N laughed at his eagerness but it quickly left when he thrusted harshly, “Ah~”

He let out a small chuckle and his hands went towards her chest. Pinching her nipples harshly, “Thought you said you could take it, Y/N.”

“Sh-shut up.”

He could feel her squeezing around him as he moved at his fast pace. He still couldn’t believe this was happening, “Fuck you feel so good, Y/N.” One hand was gripping her waist while the other one was groping her chest.

“Harder~.”

“Yeah? What a whore.” Jungkook smirked as he readjusted himself and pushed her legs up. Her knees were now almost touching the white sheets on either side of her head (she didn’t even know she could do that). She felt like she was stretched wide open as he began jackhammering into her, “Fuck, Jungkook.”

She could feel every thrust through her body. The only sounds that she could make were moans and it made his ego grow, “Is someone gonna cum?”

She nodded frantically at him as she looked away from his face to let out a louder moan, “Jung-Jungkook~”

“Cum for me, Y/N. Let everyone know in this building who you belong to.”

“Jungkook~!” One more thrust and it sent her over the edge. The reminder of what they were supposed to do crossed her mind. All her textbooks were thrown on to the floor and notes were long gone from the bed. Jungkook tossed his back as he orgasmed, buried deep inside her. As they came back to reality, they locked eyes. Smiles appeared on their faces as they panted with red faces.

He leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose, “I love you...”

“I love you more...”

Two months. Nothing changed. Okay, to give credit to where credit is due. Jungkook acted like the perfect husband for half a month, it was like the beginning of their marriage. He would stay up for her when she worked long nights at the hospital and had more outings together when they had time. Then everything changed when Y/N found out why he changed. Rue went on a trip and was gone for that time period. She found out by Jin and everything made sense. She was the rebound.

After she found out, she became distant again. She felt so stupid that she thought things would go back to what it was. It made her realize that it will never go back to normal. He will never change but she can and she will.

She's a doctor and she knows the symptoms. She tracked her period accurately and knew something was wrong. Deep down, she prayed it wasn’t true but her thoughts said another thing. She sat in Sehun’s office with a blanked expression towards the tile floor. Sehun understood why she did it but all because he can explain why she did it doesn’t mean it's okay. He walked back in and she slowly looked up at him with a hopeful look. That look was quickly wiped away when she saw his eyes, “Y/N...you're pregnant."

Those words were supposed to send happiness but instead it broke her heart. How could she do this? Having a child with someone who clearly doesn’t love her and is using her for popularity, wasn’t on her bingo card. She nodded her head at him and closed her eyes, “I-I’m getting a divorce.”

Sehun raised his eyebrow but nodded his head at her, “Are you?”

“Yes. My child doesn’t deserve to see that disrespectful asshole. This child is going to have a better life and they won’t have to question their worth.”

“Y/N...”

“They won’t stay up at night waiting for him to come home or even doing shit to get his attention-”

“Y/N!” She looked at Sehun with wide eyes as the tears fell down her face. He tossed the clipboard onto his desk and brought her head into his chest, “No more crying for that asshole.”

She turned her head and the tears soaked his shirt as his fingers ran through her hair. He kissed the top of her head as she continued to sob, “No matter what, it will be okay.”

“Sign here.”

The silence in the office made her skin crawl. She watched him pick up the pen but his hand hovered above the documents. Hesitation but she didn’t know why. She was never his wife to begin with, she was only a pawn in his world. He needed her but not for love and comfort but for power. She cried so much over him but in this moment the roles are reversed. She sat there with a stern look while he cried looking at the life changing documents but no sound came from him. He wasn’t sad at losing her but sad he lost his pawn.

“Y-Y/N are you sure?”

“Yes, I haven’t been your wife in years.”

She watched his eyes widen as he glanced back and forth at the paper and at her, “You’ve always been my wife.”

She let out a humorless laugh and shook her head, “I lost that title when you found another. The night that you said we had an open relationship, I was no longer your wife. We both know why you needed me...”

He sighed and let the black ink do the talking that he couldn’t do. She smiled at this and felt the chain around her neck was broken. She felt some relief seeing him cry and she didn’t care if that made her sound like a bad person. After all the crying, seeing the person that made you cry was rewarding. If that makes her evil then she would rather be evil with a smile instead of unhappy and in tears.

The documents slid to her and it was her turn to sign. She picked up her pen and as she read the document, memories of the past came.

Jungkook looked at her with a smile as he grabbed her hand. The two sat at the beach as the moon kissed the water and the stars touched their skin. Jungkook wanted to take her to the beach after their date and she agreed. The two just graduated from college and everything was perfect. Jungkook was the new CEO of his father’s company and Y/N got an internship at the hospital that she wanted to work at.

He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her cheek, “You know, I’m going to make you my wife soon.”

“Oh? Are you?”

He nodded his head and looked out at the water with a smile, “I want to get you the ring that you deserve. I want it to sparkle just like how you sparkle in my life.”

“Do you want the ring back?”

She watched him scratch the back of his neck and sigh, “No...you keep it.”

“I’m not going to keep it. I need you to know that.”

“I figured.”

She bowed her head at her lawyer who left the office and Jungkook watched him leave with a blank expression. His eyes moved back to her and frowned, “So...this is it?”

“Seems like it.”

He glared at her and knocked off his coffee cup making it fly across the room. He slammed his hands on the dark wood as his eyes heated up looking at her, “How can you be so calm? Did you even love me?”

She scoffed at this and shook her head at him, “Why did you think I stayed? I always loved you and I was stupid for thinking that you would pick me. I was never your first choice and you know that. How dare you get mad at me for this? YOU’RE THE ONE THAT CAUSED THIS!”

Jungkook couldn’t defend himself, not that she wanted to hear it. She got up from the table and walked before he could say anything to her, she was done with him. Well, she knew one day she would have to tell him about his child but for now she was done. The selfish man will be his downfall and she wanted nothing to do with it.

The public didn’t take Jungkook and Y/N’s divorce well. Especially when the truth came out about him. Many weren't shocked about him but a good handful of important figures were shocked (for some reason). Many said that his good looks got him into trouble while others shared their sympathy towards Y/N. Not that she needed it. Rue was plastered on all the magazines, the villain of the story. Y/N should feel bad for the young girl but instead she only chuckled at the tears captured on all forms of media.

Y/N sat in her office and the door opened revealing Jin giving her smile, “Happy divorce.”

“That’s new. Thank you.”

He sat in front of her with his smile sending butterflies to her stomach, “I’m glad you did it.”

“I am too...you must hate me.”

He looked at her with confusion, “Why would I hate you?”

“Jin...I ruined your sister's life. You should hate me.”

“Do I look like I hate you?”

Her lips pressed together making a straight line as she looked away from his intense eyes, “No...you don’t.”

“My sister deserves it. She knew exactly what she was doing and persuaded him anyway. He also is no better. I would never hate you, L/N Y/N.”

Her eyes widened at this and her head snapped back at him. It’s been forever since she heard her last name, it sent shivers especially when it came from him. She blinked her eyes at him and smiled, “L/N Y/N....I-I haven’t heard that in so long.”

“You’ve always been L/N Y/N. Remember that...I actually had a question for you.”

She raised her eyebrow and she felt nervous now. She nodded her head and gripped her pants under the table, “O-Of course you can.”

He let out a small chuckle and shook his head, “You don’t have to be nervous around me Y/N. I was just wondering if you would like to go on a lunch date with me?”

“Lunch date?”

“Yeah, if you want. It could be whatever you want.”

She smiled at this and nodded her head rapidly, “I would love that.”

“That’s good. Oh, also. Congrats on becoming a mom.”

She frowned at this and glanced down at her messy desk, “Y-Yeah...Does that put you off?”

“Why would that put me off?”

“Because I was so stupid. Stupid enough to try again with him when I knew deep down it wasn’t right. I just wanted him to love me again even though I didn’t love him. I guess I just wanted affection like how it was in the beginning and my naivety took over. I let my insecurities do the talking instead of my logic and now I'm having a child with someone that only sees me as a power play. You should be put off by me...”

He shook his head and stood up from the chair. She watched him closely as he moved to be by her side and grabbed her hands gently. He sat on his knees as she looked down at him, “You were trying your hardest with the situation that was given to you...your not stupid, you were hopeful. You wanted him to give you love because you loved him once upon a time, you wanted to feel important for once. This is something you need to face but you won’t do it alone, I won’t allow that.”

Her eyes started to water and she jumped out of her chair to wrap her arms around Jin’s neck, “I-I want to feel love...”

“And you will.”

The snow created images on the window as Y/N stared outside in complete silence. So much has changed in a matter of a year that she couldn’t even rationalize anything. She had a baby girl, L/N Jisoo. It wasn’t what the movies always displayed. Jisoo was premature and had to stay in the hospital for a month to make sure she was okay. It was a stressful time but Sehun and Chanyeol helped her out by taking care of the paperwork and checking her house. There was one person that stayed by her side twenty-four seven and that person was Jin. They weren’t dating officially but they both made it clear they like each other, maybe even love. It wasn’t the time to make a confession.

She heard her name in the hospital room and she turned her head to see Jin sitting on the couch with a frown. He was tired, they both were but they would never say it out loud to each other. She slowly walked towards him and sat next to him with her head going to his shoulder like a magnet. They both looked at the baby with tired smiles and he rubbed her arm gently, “Tomorrow is the big day.”

“She comes home to us.”

“See I told you.”

She raised her eyebrow and lifted her head to look at him, “Told me what?”

“You would feel love.”

Her eyes widened at this and let out a small chuckle. She turned her head to look at her daughter with a red face, “Shut up.”

“Yah! Jin you can’t keep letting her get away with drawing on the documents!”

“It’s art and I always have copies!”

She sighed to herself and shook her head with a chuckle escaping, “That’s not the point dear.”

He glanced down to see Jisoo drawing away on an important document but he shrugged. He looked back up at Y/N with a small smirk, “Are you jealous of her artwork?”

“Jin, shut up. I need to get ready for work, are you sure you’ll be okay?”

He rolled his eyes at her and leaned down, kissing her on the forehead, “I’ve taken care of her for two years, have faith in me.”

“I always have faith in you but she has you wrapped around her little finger.”

“You have me wrapped around your finger too, darling. Don’t forget that.”

She let out a laugh and nodded her head. She put on her coat and smiled at him, “I’ll miss you...”

“You’ll be home in an hour, Sehun said it’s a quick meeting but you need to be there to approve some things.”

“I know, I just hate being away from you and Jisoo.”

“The faster you go, the faster you’ll be back.”

She blew him a kiss and left their house. She can’t believe it's been two years already. Two years passed by and she was living with her boyfriend while they took care of their daughter together. Jin adopted her after her first birthday and Y/N couldn’t be happier with Jisoo having him as a father. Speaking of fathers, Jungkook didn’t know about Jisoo. After their divorce and the public losing their interest in Jungkook’s life, Y/N cut off all ties with him. She didn’t even know if he had the same number but she didn’t care.

She stopped at the stop light letting out a small sigh. She hated working on Sundays, it was supposed to be her day off but here she was going to work. The light snowfall didn’t make things easier, it just made her more depressed. When the light turned green, she went forward but that's when everything went black. A truck tried running the red light and Y/N was hit hard. Everything around her was quiet and her vision was blurred. The only thing she saw was the white specks falling down slowly. She slowly closed her eyes and nothingness hit her...

Y/N woke up and looked around to get an answer. She saw her daughter looking at her with her head tilted in the middle of her room, “Jisoo?”

“Mommy, who's my dad?”

She rubbed her forehead and looked at her with a confused look, “Jisoo, what are you-”

“Who’s Jungkook?”

Y/N blinked her eyes and Jisoo was now a teenager. She couldn’t understand what was happening but the shock stopped her from questioning what was happening, “Ho-how do you know that name baby?”

“Mom, tell me the truth. Dad, isn’t my real dad is he?”

Y/N shook her head and tried making her way to Jisoo but her head was stopping her. The pain jolted through her body as she sat there holding her head, “Jisoo, please.”

“Who’s my real dad!”

She opened her eyes slightly and the only thing she saw was bright white lights above her head, blinding her. She heard talking but she couldn’t focus on the words and the only thing she saw was the light blue clothing that surrounded her. She closed her eyes again, allowing the light to sing her to sleep.

Beep. Beep. What the hell? She opened her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time and saw herself in a bed. It wasn’t her bed at home and she recognized the hospital blanket fast. She wanted to sit up but her body would not allow her to so she turned her head to see Jin sleeping on the couch, “J-Jin...”

His eyes snapped open and he jumped up from the couch. He made his way to her and carefully sat on the bed, grabbing her hand ever so gently, “Y/N? Baby?”

“Jin, wh-what the hell happened? I have a meeting with Sehun.”

He let out a sad chuckle and shook his head, “Baby, it’s been two weeks...there is no meeting. I don’t want to dump all this information on you but...you got into a horrible accident. You broke your neck and hit your head really hard...I-I thought I was going to lose you.”

“I-I was in an accident?”

He nodded his head and brought her hand to place a kiss on her knuckles, “Don’t worry. I’m suing him right now.”

“What other injuries do I have?”

“Shockingly, you only broke your neck. You had bruises and cuts but that’s it. Even the surgeons were shocked.”

She nodded her head (the best she could) and looked outside the window to see the white specks falling still. She sighed and looked at Jin with a frown, “I had an epiphany.”

“O-Okay? Was it good?”

“I need to tell Jungkook about Jisoo.”

Jin looked at her with a shocked look but nodded his head, “I see...if that’s what you want. Can I ask why?”

“I had this vision of her being a teenager...she found out that you weren’t her real dad and the look she had killed me...it hurt. I know it was my mind doing it but it hurt still. I need to do it for her.”

“If you want to do that then I’ll support you no matter what. My only thing is...I don’t trust Jungkook with Jisoo.”

“I was thinking that he can visit her at our house only for now until we have trust. Wait, where's Jisoo?”

“She’s with Sehun, don't worry. Alright, we can do that. Shit, let me get Chanyeol. He needs to check on you. Fuck I got so excited seeing you that I forgot.”

She let out a small laugh but it quickly turned into a groan, “Don’t make me laugh so hard. It hurts.”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny-” Before he could say anything else, the door opened revealing Chanyeol glaring at Jin. “Shit.”

“You ass, you were supposed to tell me when she wakes up. I don’t give a fuck that shes your girlfriend now, I have more power.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and slowly turned her head towards Chanyeol, “Hey you.”

Chanyeol scoffed and shook his head, "That's what you say to me after being knocked out for two weeks after an accident.”

“Yes?”

He sighed at this and looked down at his clipboard, “Your body is strong. You only broke your neck and hit your head when the truck impacted your car. You hit your head hard on the side of the door and the glass cut your arms and legs. You had bruises all over your body but other than that you came out great for someone that was hit head on with a car.”

She sighed to herself and turned to look at Jin, “It’s because I’m a mother, that’s why I’m so strong.”

“That’s disgusting. We're going to have an orthopedic to look at your neck before you can leave.”

“When can she leave?”

“When she gets grounded, I would say in three or four days.”

She intertwined her fingers with Jins and let a smile appear on face, “That's not too bad...”

“It’s not but baby you can’t push yourself either. I know you want to go home but don’t rush yourself, okay?”

“Okay.”

Two days and Y/N hated being in this bed. Jin left her today to take care of Jisoo and she was still in this stupid neck brace. She knew she had to stay in this for about two months and she found that annoying. She sat in her bed letting the food show relax her body but that all changed when her door opened. She turned her head and she was expecting Chanyeol or Sehun but her eyes widened when she saw a ghost from the past looking at with worried eyes, “Jung-Jungkook? What are you doing here?”

He smiled at her and walked towards her with a bouquet of daises. He placed them on her side table and pushed a chair towards her bed as she watched him. He sat in the chair and sighed, “Your brother told me what happened...I asked him how you were doing and he told me what happened. He said something interesting though.”

“Oh?”

“He said that even though he hated me, he wanted me to know just in case his goddaughter is left alone.”

Fucking snitch, “O-Oh really? That’s weird.”

“Y/N...do we have a daughter?”

She sighed and turned her head towards the tv, “I have a daughter.”

“Y/N-”

“Jungkook, I know you're smart. Figure it out.”

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck before looking at her, “I’m glad you're alright.”

“Geez thanks.”

“I-I’m not good at this. I don’t want you to feel awkward when you're in pain.”

“That never stopped you before.”

He ran his fingers through his hair roughly and let out a frustrated sigh, “I don’t want to argue. Can I-I see her?”

“Only if me or Jin is there to watch you. We don’t trust you with her.”

“J-Jin?”

“My boyfriend and Jisoo’s father. Problem?”

He shook his head and looked down at the floor, “Jin’s been taking care of her?”

She scoffed at him and looked at him with a glare, “Yeah and? You’re lucky Jin didn’t hurt you for what you did to me.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes. visiting hours end in two minutes. Hurry up and say whatever you want to say.”

“Can I see Jisoo...I like the name by the way.”

“Thank you, Jin gave me the name to use. Only if we're there. I don’t trust you, I’m only doing this because I don’t want to die one day without her knowing the truth. When she becomes older, you’re going to tell her your sins. I’ll be damned if I have to say it cause it still hurts to this day. You’re a piece of shit still but I’ll let you see her.”

Jungkook looked at her with a soft smile and nodded his head, “T-Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. How’s Rue?”

“You know I’m not with her anymore, I’m sure. You’re dating Jin.”

“I know, I just wanted to see your hurt face. Now, get out. Visiting hours are over.”

He let out another sigh and stood up from the chair giving her one last look, “Will you always be hostile towards me?”

“Yeah, probably. You deserve so much more so be grateful for this.”

He nodded his head and went to walk out the room but before he left, he looked back at her, “Thank you for giving life to something so precious.”

“Mmm...now get out.”

He nodded his head and left the room. She let out the biggest sigh and shook her head to herself, “Fucking asshole. He hasn’t changed at all.” Her phone (Jin bought her a new phone) buzzed next to the daisies and she slowly picked it up. She unlocked her phone and smiled at Jin’s message. It was a picture of Jin and Jisoo cuddling on the bed and she felt so happy seeing them together. Jin will always be Jisoo’s father no matter what and Jungkook will just be there. Maybe in the future things will get better but for now, he should be grateful for seeing Jisoo.

She called Jin and he picked up so fast making her giggle, “Did you see it?”

“I love it. I love you guys so much. Forever and ever.”

Taglist:

@bloodline1632 @cuteipat @wobblewobble822 @alexarmantogguk @neoteez7 @welcometomyworld13 @kawennote09 @bbtsficrecs @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs

#bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts jungkook #bts namjoon #bts seokjin #bts taehyung #bts jimin #bts yoongi #bts x reader #bts hosoek #Bts #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #bts angst #jungkook x reader #bts established relationship au

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katnisspeetaprim · 1 year

Text

At The Concert

Jung Hoseok/Reader

Summary: Hoseok was quite insistent that you come to this show in particular...

Warnings: Female reader, established relationship, idol!au, set around 2018 during the LY tour but not that important, fluff, crying, mentions of being anxious, marriage proposal.

Word Count: 1226 M.list

BTS were about halfway through their current tour, giving maximum effort each show they did. You always tried your best to attend as many of their shows as you could, since getting to spend time with Hoseok when he was on tour was scarce enough as it was.

For this specific show, Hobi had asked you some time ago to make sure you had time

off to attend and you weren’t sure why, maybe because it was the closest show on the tour to your home town? If that were the case though, you would have been there either way so you found it quit strange how pushy he was being about you attending.

You were currently backstage, watching the boys run around the stage from the wings. A lot of the time you just watched on the TV in the dressing room or private area in the audience, since you always felt like you were in the way just standing around backstage but, due to some particularly insistent staff members, you were side stage.

The boys performance was amazing as usual. Watching them perform never failed to brighten up your day. Once they finished their current song, it was time for them to line up and talk to the audience.

One by one they spoke lovingly to ARMY before they all fell silent and turned to face Hobi. They all watched as he stepped forward once again, all sporting wide and gummy smiles.

‘I know this is strange but I hope you ARMY will indulge me.’ The audience cheered loudly as Hoseok spoke. You looked on confused, not sure what he was up to.

‘When me and Y/N went public, we were shocked by the amount of support we got from all of you. We’d been together quite a while by then so it was important to us that we had your support.’ He continued to speak. Though you couldn’t see his face from your position you knew he was nervous but still smiling, you however were shocked. Why was he bringing you up? It was at this moment that you began to notice that some of the staff around you were throwing glances in your direction, making your nerves flare up and also feel a little self conscious. Did they know what was going on?

‘I know she’s going to hate me for this...’ He chuckled to himself, ‘Jagi come out here please.’ He turned back to face where you were standing, his arm outstretched and giving you a small smile. The audience screamed at the unusual turn.

Your mouth fell open in shock. You looked around at the staff for help, only to find smiling faces looking back at you, some of them even ushering you forwards onto the stage. Surely this wasn’t for real.

When no movement came from you, both Jungkook and Jimin ran towards you in an attempt to pull you out. They were laughing as they spoke to you.

‘Come on noona!’ Jungkook grabbed onto your right arm whilst Jimin grasped your left.

‘What’s going on!?’ You stuttered, still not willing to move.

‘Just trust us Y/N! You know we would never let anything bad happen to you!’ Jimin coaxed, trying to ease your nerves a little. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before you nodded. You knew what he said was true so you didn’t really have any choice but to trust them right now.

They both grinned at you again before excitedly pulling you onto the stage.

Blush crept up onto your cheeks when the crowd started to scream your name upon coming into view.

The two younger boys lead you over to Hobi, who in turn wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug. He pulled back and gave you a bright smile, you keeping your hands firmly on his arms.

‘What’s happening?’ You were smiling but couldn’t help but cringe as your voice got picked up by his microphone. Causing all the boys to let out small laughs.

Speaking of...You noticed the 6 other boys lined up behind the two of you, all either grinning ear to ear or bouncing up and down with excitement.

Hobi took a step back, taking one of your hands in his before he started to speak.

‘Y/N you are the love of my life. You’ve been with me through thick and thin and you were always there for me, back when I was still training. All your support made me the man I am today.’ Oh...Was this really happening? You could feel your emotions building up in your chest as he spoke from his heart.

‘I really lucked out, getting the most amazing person in the world to date me back then. Being together all these years has made me realise I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you....So...’

It was then that he got down on one knee, pulling out a small velvet box from his jacket pocket. You knew it was coming after his speech, but it didn’t do anything to stop the tears flowing down your face, both your hand coming up to cover your mouth as the happy tears fell. Hobi opened the box to reveal the most beautiful ring you had ever seen. He really put effort into doing the research on what kind of jewellery you liked, talking none stop with your friends and mother to make sure he got the perfect ring.

‘Will you marry me?’ He beamed up at you, crowd going even more crazy, not believing they got to witness this in person. The boys in the back all holding onto each other in anticipation, hardly able to control themselves.

Unable to speak at that moment in time you nodded vigorously, hiding your face in your hands before taking his and pulling him to a standing position. You pulled him into a kiss, hands on either side of his face, while his hands came to rest on your wrists. You were now oblivious to the crowd, deaf to their screams. Right now it was just you and Hobi.

The two of you were only pulled out of the moment when the 6 other boys ran up to you both to congratulate you. Hoseok pulled away and took your shaking hand in his once again, to slip the ring onto your finger. You admired the ring before you felt your lip start to tremble again so you pulled him in for one last hug, which he was happy to accept. Hoseok made sure to cover his mic before whispering to you. ‘We’ll all celebrate properly later ok?’ he nodded slightly before placing a final quick peck on you lips. He placed his arm around your shoulders as he lead you back to the wings, and onto a waiting chair. Good. Your legs were like jelly. He pecked your cheek before quickly running back out onto the stage.

‘Ah she said no guys. Can you believe that?’ He joked as soon as he was back out, causing his members and the audience to laugh. You lightly shook your head, smiling at his antics.

After the show that night you knew you would all be going out to celebrate like he said, and you couldn’t wait for what would come after.

#bts #bts x reader #smutt #fluff #angst #imagine #one shot #scenario #drabble #reaction #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #idol!au #established relationship

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minniepetals · 11 months

Text

cry me a river | the reckless

— summary: in the face of danger, you run right into it

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: angst, mafia!au

— word count: 4.7k

— warnings: slight violence

— PART 24 / previous post / masterpost

It’s about one in the morning when you sneak out of the room with gentle steps, making sure to not wake the one who sleeps on the armchair beside the bed, his soft little snores still heard until his presence disappears with the closed door.

The hallways are as silent as it was back in the room, the only thing heard is the sounds of your footsteps echoing through, and as you close your shawl closer to your body, you look around to make your way to the familiar steps that lead outside where the greenhouse stands.

The doors are left unlocked so you let yourself in and step through the glass doors, closing your eyes for a moment to breathe in the scent of the greens all around you.

It’s during lonely moments like this you feel your heart craving for some sort of familiarity. Not just the presence of your Reapers but for the presence of your manor itself.

For years you spent hating that place more than anything because that was where everything happened; where you were born, where you grew up, watching your mother hating you with every fiber left in her, chasing after your father’s attention, shedding tears on top of gentle shoulders, trapped behind the steel door of a white room, training, meeting good people, meeting bad people, everything.

Everything.

You can’t recall when the feeling of dread and disdain turned to eyes seeking for it, feet yearning to step back into it. Maybe it was the moment your father died, when the dynasty he worked so hard to build broke down into pieces like a house of cards, when you took over and made it into the home that it is now starting to feel like.

You returned to it after Leehyun, locking yourself in the comfort of your room, knowing that if you were to step outside, your Reapers would be right there with the smallest calling of their names. It served as your escape when it used to be the very reason you hated your existence.

The manor has become home and perhaps the only reason it’s able to be such a thing is because of what you’ve built it to be.

You want to escape, to return to it and simply hide in it and have no one bother you until you’re ready to step out yourself.

On the bench where Alexander sat this morning, you take your seat and close your eyes, trying to manipulate your mind into thinking you aren’t in Norway, that you’re back in Seoul, back at the manor, and not somewhere far, far away.

It’s exhausting doing this, your revenge plan. It’s exhausting having to put up a front, exhausting having to freeze up and recall unwanted memories that you wish could bury forever in the back of your mind.

But buried memories can’t always stay buried. They return, eventually, in time, whether you’re prepared or not.

You can’t tell how much time has passed but when you feel something against your feet accompanied by small little pants, you open your eyes to find the little puppy that accepted you from the moment he laid eyes on you.

You look down at him and he returns your gaze with a tilt in his head, tail wagging, and swirls about in a circle once before using his nose to poke at your leg again. He reminds you of the children at The Academy, how they’ve never been scared of you despite wanting to always push them away with your cold demeanor. It’s like Kiwi sees right through you, just like them, and in your silence, you pick up the small little thing to bring him onto your lap.

His tail wags a little more and when you run your hand through his fur, he gets a little more excited and affectionate.

Besides the children, there’s someone else you see in him.

“You remind me of someone,” you say as he nuzzles into the feeling of your palm. “Though unlike you, he wasn’t too fond of me in the beginning. It took some time for him to warm up but once he got to that point, he wouldn’t stop following me around.”

You fall silent again, thinking, remembering, reminiscing, and your fingers stop playing around with the little puppy on your lap.

The memories aren’t as hazy as they used to be, they’re a little clearer, a little closer to home. You can feel it in your heart when something feels like it’s just stabbed it, and in your stomach when you feel a little drop.

“I’m sorry for being selfish,” a voice whispers into your ear. “I’m sorry for only ever thinking about myself.”

But the thing about that is, you cannot be sorry for something that is within your nature, you cannot be sorry for wanting to put yourself first in a cruel, cruel world. When everything feels wrong, when the world feels like it’s always against you, when you do not know who to put your trust in.

If you were a little more mature and a little more brave, would you have been able to tell him the things you want to say now?

Things like; it wasn’t your fault. Things like; it’s alright, and you’re okay, and rest well.

Rest well, rest well, rest well.

You lean your head forward to the sky, gaze closed, as if hoping the things you spoke within your heart could be heard from him wherever he stays.

And as the silence continues, you feel your consciousness eventually slip away as your shoulders loosen their tensions with the feel of the little puppy resting well in your lap.

You didn’t realize it, that you had fallen asleep, but you know yourself waking when you feel a presence closing in and immediately opening your eyes to meet the old man who has a blanket hovered before you, his eyes falling a little surprised because he hadn’t expected you to wake up so easily.

“It’s good to put your guard down a little, you know,” Alexander says with a small chuckle as you accept the blanket to drape it behind you.

“I’ve learned my lesson with that,” you answer him and scoot over to the edge of the bench in order to make room for him.

He takes his seat beside you though leaves enough space in between and you’re thankful this man is observant. Kiwi’s awake but remains quiet and still, head resting against his paws with his tail swaying side to side.

“Do you have anyone you can trust in this world?” Alexander crosses a leg over the other and you look at your watch to see that it’s about four in the morning.

You managed to sleep in an unfamiliar place while knowing there weren’t any Reapers that could come to you at any second. How odd.

“There are always chances someone can stab you in the back.” Maybe the presence of Kiwi helped you. “It’s never a good idea to put your full trust in anyone.”

“You say that but one day you might come to know it feels rather nice putting unconditional faith in someone.”

You shake your head, brows furrowing. “Even if that someone has a good heart and good intentions, it doesn’t mean it hurts any less.”

There’s only been one person you know you can truly trust but he’s gone from this world, only ever being able to see him again when he wishes to visit you in your dreams. He’s the only person you’d ever allow to hurt you over and over again, even if it isn’t the real version of him.

Mister Butler can hate you and betray you but you’d let him do it again and again and maybe that’s because in your heart, you know those versions that the nightmares give you are simply from your own imagination and that he’d never truly come to hate you. He’s incapable of betraying your trust. Someone like him, who stayed by your side when he didn’t have to, isn’t a man who can have his heart easily swayed into hating you.

“Are you tired of betrayal?”

“I’m tired of everything,” you admit and he looks at you up and down, eyes narrowing slightly.

“And yet here you are, out in Norway.” Alexander knows a thing or two, he isn’t dumb, and you aren’t someone to think otherwise. He wouldn’t be in the position he is now if he was, and you don’t deny what he implies in his words. “You run straight into the very things that make you tired.”

“Because it is the only way I can feel alive.” You look on straight ahead before you, watching the pretty sky that pokes out from behind the plants of the greenhouse. “Otherwise I’d be in my room, rotting away. There is no purpose in running away, there is no purpose in leaving things be. My father did not leave this world for me to simply carry on as if he never existed.”

Some may take that as you carrying on your father’s legacy and whatever Alexander is thinking, you don’t care too much for it because all it matters is what you know. You didn’t kill your father just to stay silent for the rest of your life. His death was the beginning of everything.

Your turning point.

“And no one can stop a mind that’s already been made up.” Alexander nods, understanding, and doesn’t push for answers, but perhaps in the back of his mind, he’s a little curious about you and your goals and aspirations in this life. What drives you, what made you into the sort of person you are today, but Alexander is wise unlike many old men you’ve met throughout your life, so he doesn’t question things beyond your boundary.

And so he diverts the subject once again, turning it to the puppy in your lap.

“Perhaps you should adopt a pet of your own, to help you ease your mind a little,” he tells you with a fond gaze at Kiwi. “Humans can be quite disappointing, but a loyal pet will stay loyal for the rest of its life. Not to mention they’re the greatest comfort when someone needs it.”

Maybe that’s true. Maybe you should turn to a dog rather than humans in your time of need. Humans are disappointing creatures after all. But, “It’s too much of a hassle,” you say. “I can’t even take care of my own self properly, it’d be unwise of me to try and take care of another being.”

“...Is that so?”

It becomes a daily occurrence; the talks in the greenhouse, and soon you come to realize that Alexander isn’t one to let just anyone into his greenhouse. The doors that are usually locked during hours when one should be asleep are kept open, and perhaps that’s because he’s come to realize that you don’t sleep a lot, at least not in the house of a stranger, so he leaves them open for you to visit when you need your space.

And in the morning, around four or five AM when he awakens, he’ll come along and strike up a conversation and the two of you will speak about the things he brings up. Things like Seoul and of the Reaper gang, sometimes he’ll ask of Master Kitagawa, other times he’ll ask how far your skills go.

You speak to him in vague terms, careful not to tell him everything, but he comes to know that you were an only child, married once in an arranged marriage, but divorced. He doesn’t seem too surprised by that fact probably because everyone knows this happens all the time.

And in him knowing a little more about you, you come to know a little more about him as well.

Like when Kiwi came into his life and the fact that he’s had other pets throughout his lifetimes before but they’ve all died and left him.

You asked him why he continues adopting pets when he knows they don’t live as long as humans do, why he hurts himself over and over again, but he simply smiles and says that sometimes being able to love is better than being lonely. That it doesn’t matter how many times he has to watch them die and that he’d never regret loving them.

Alexander believes in reincarnation, that the souls of his first puppy dies and returns in the form of the other pets he’s had, so he’s never truly lonely, and something about that, believing in such a thing, though it sounds a bit absurd, is a little bit beautiful in its own way.

If you could believe Mister Butler died and returned through someone else, it’d be a nice delusion to live in, and despite the fact that there have been one or two guys that have reminded you of him, the truth is, no one can ever be Mister Butler.

Not Hoseok. Not Mingyu.

Because Mister Butler is like family. He was.

Through your marriage with Namjoon, he was your older brother, but he always felt closer to a father figure to you, and perhaps that’s because your father was never there for you. Mingyu is closer to an older brother. A companion. A friend.

And Hoseok?

The one that got away.

The right person at the wrong time.

And because of that fact, you don’t allow yourself to be near him for too long, hence denying his companionship when Jungkook told you it’d probably be better if Hoseok were standing guard at your side rather than him.

It’s true, Hoseok would be better. You wouldn’t be as cautious towards him as you are of Jungkook, but it’s that exact reason that you cannot let him near.

You cannot let him shake your core, so you endure what you can and let Jungkook stay near you despite the constant reminder of what he did all those years ago.

It’s not entirely his fault but as you’ve said, it doesn’t hurt any less.

In your time getting closer to Alexander, he’s refused the appearance of Karl several times. Asher says if he has to, his grandfather will meet him elsewhere. Just not in the house. The guy has come to guess that you’re here because of Karl, and if he’s guessed it, maybe Alexander has too.

Though the old man never brings it up despite the plenty of chances during your greenhouse talks.

“Any progress?”

Dawn remains in the sky as ever and while Jungkook sleeps, you sit on the windowsill to take a call from the other side of the world. It’s a bit chilly to head out today so you stay indoors this time, making sure to keep your voice low.

“Plenty. It’s been quite peaceful these days, it feels a bit out of place.” Alexander’s kindness wasn’t something you expected the first day you walked into Norway. You expected things to be harder after meeting Asher but surprisingly, things are quite…easy, to say the least. “I have a feeling it won’t last too long.”

“No?” Namjoon sounds a little confused on his end. “Why do you say that? Should we come over earlier than planned?”

“No, don’t do that. Come as scheduled,” you say and look away from the window to the man who’s moved from sleeping on the armchair to the bed. It took some time to convince him initially but eventually Jungkook agreed to take the bed since you don’t really sleep anyway.

“You have something planned, don’t you?” There’s some suspicion in his voice and you want to laugh a little at how things are right now.

Who would have thought you’d be back on speaking terms with the man you thought you’d push away for good? But here he is, back and ready to give you his trust. You don’t know if he’s smart or stupid or both. Maybe there’s a bit of both, but it probably took some time for him to consider it, being as the whole thing was about his brother whom he loves very dearly.

Namjoon’s finally using his head.

Though you aren’t too sure if you like it so much.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”

“Y/N.”

“It’s nothing bad.”

“I don’t know if I can trust those words so easily. The last time you left the country, you disregarded your life just for that plan of yours.”

“Listen.” You roll your eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

There’s a pause on his end before he speaks again. “You didn’t assure me that you won’t do something reckless,” he notes and you internally click your tongue, “which means that feeling of the peace not lasting for long is you actively causing that to happen.” When you don’t respond, he goes on. “Will you stop being so secretive and let me know what you’re thinking? Maybe then you won’t be in the same position you were with Leehyun, and me and my boys and the Reapers will know how to help you.”

Well.

“You can’t keep hiding, Y/N. Stop being so reckless, you’re too reckless.”

“Watch me.”

He lets out a heavy sigh. “That wasn’t a challenge.”

“No?”

Another sigh and he knows he can’t win. “Just…if you decide it’s better for me to go over sooner rather than later, let me know. I’ll be waiting. Right here, just a phone call away.”

“...Sure.”

You don’t think too much about it. You don’t want to think too much about it.

So when the cloud gives way to the sun and it shines higher in the sky, you finally take up Karl’s request to have tea and catch up, deciding you shouldn’t keep running away from what you’re trying to face.

You have Yeonjun stay by your side this time, rather than Jungkook, in case Karl says something out of line and Jungkook will hear more things than you want him to. You stay in the garden of Alexander’s mansion, keeping a little distance away from the building itself, and with the feel of eyes from a window behind you, the conversation begins.

“I remember him,” Karl points at your escort when he takes his first sip of the tea. “Jun? Joon?” Yeonjun doesn’t make an effort to fix him and simply remains quiet. “Right, never one to talk but always by your side.” His eyes settle back on you, a small glint of mirth in them. “You have quite the loyal companion.”

“Yes..I do.” You ignore his gaze to take a sip of your own tea, keeping your replies short.

“I’m still a bit hurt you didn’t reach out to me about your father’s death. We were good friends, you knew that.”

Of course you did. “I apologize, it slipped my mind.”

“Slipped your mind?” He raises a brow, unconvinced. “Hmm…and here I thought, I left a good impression in those four months I stayed in Seoul.”

You did.

You did indeed leave an impression that will last a lifetime.

“Maybe I should have tried harder?”

That mirth in his eyes. Again.

You want to punch him.

“How did he die though? The man I knew isn’t someone who would have easily died and he would have updated me about his health had he fallen ill.”

“He was betrayed,” you say, not batting an eye, and Karl puts his cup down after hearing that.

His eyes are blown out. “Your father? Betrayed? And he didn’t see that coming?”

“They were smart.”

“Even still..” He can’t believe it, though you don’t blame him too much. The father you both know is not someone who’s easily trusting of others, therefore he’s always right there to pick out someone who will betray him before they can execute their plan.

That’s why it took so long to manipulate him into believing you were a daughter full on worshiping his ground without an ounce of betrayal in your veins. That’s why your masterful plan took so long. You had to convince your father into believing he had won in manipulating you to his side when all along, you had been waiting to stab him in the back. Facing a man like him, smart, calculating, a manipulating gaslighter who thinks the world centers around him requires more than just simple brains and planning.

It took years to execute your plans and even then you feel like you could have done better with everything. For one, not letting anyone see what had happened, aka Bangtan. But what’s done is done. Dwelling on past mistakes is just stupid and a waste of time.

“And what about you?” When Karl points the finger at you, his gaze narrows, brows slightly furrowed. “You’re his daughter, his perfect little doll. You didn’t see that someone was plotting your father’s death? Is it not your job to protect him?”

“That’s right,” you give him nothing to fight against, just simply accepting the accusations placed upon you. “I failed in protecting him. I am an incompetent daughter who should have done better.”

Karl stands up, running a hand through his hair. “Your father did all that he could for you and still, you–”

When he looks at you again and meets the gaze you send him, his word stops mid-sentence. Your stare isn’t threatening, it isn’t a glare, nor one that is meant to scare him off, yet something in them lies a hidden threat either way, were he to continue speaking. Karl, seeing that, lets out a chuckle and he closes in on you, patting you on the shoulder before simply leaving his hand there.

You look at it for a second before giving him the attention he wants as he leans in, nose inches away from you.

“Your father created you into the weapon that you are today, my dear little Y/N, and you’ve even been trained under Kitagawa, so why is it that you failed to protect him? Huh? Tell me.”

From the corner of your eye, Yeonjun moves slightly closer, though he keeps his distance and doesn’t dare to make a move unless you instruct him otherwise.

The breath against your face, the touch of skin burning through the thin cloth of your dress, the sides of your knees meeting one another, back straightening up, heels rising from the ground, fingers intertwined into each other, sitting on your lap.

You keep your eyes open, meeting his gaze, but internally you’re counting in your head and holding your breath, hearing the beat of your heart that might as well rip through your rib cages and past the barrier of your skin to physically beat widely before Karl himself.

Maybe he hears it, maybe he can feel it, but whether he does or not, he has no will to move away from you and you know Karl, he isn’t dumb. He knows exactly the effect he has on you right now. He saw it, knows just how you felt all those weeks ago when you were in the living room and he touched you.

He knows and doesn’t care one bit.

Just as he was all those years ago.

They never change.

“What is it that you want from me, Karl?” He doesn’t fix you into calling him uncle this time. “Do you want me to repent on my knees and beg for forgiveness? My father’s already six feet underground, it’s not as if he’ll hear me now, but as his close friend, if you wish for me to do just that, I will. Just for you.”

There’s malice in his eyes, a scoff that leaves him when he watches you, and finally, he moves back. Just a little. “You’ve gotten quite bold, haven’t you? Now that your father isn’t here to teach you a lesson.”

“And if I have? What will you do about it?” You push back, leaning forward, challenging him despite your body screaming at you to run away. “Go ahead and do whatever you’d like with me, there’s no one here right now that can stop you. I can tell Yeonjun to pluck his eyes out right now and he’ll do just that. He won’t say a word and he won’t move unless I tell him otherwise.”

At the mention of the boy, Karl looks over between you and him, and then something in him lights up slightly as if he’d just remembered something. As if he’d just realized something.

“That’s right...what loyal companions…” He steps back, releasing your shoulder, and tilts his head back as he laughs obnoxiously. “Is this all about that little boy I messed with? Him?” The laugh rings a little louder, a little more crazed. “You pretend you’re so cold and have no feelings and yet here you are, chasing after me all the way from Seoul, just for a boy, the second you got the chance. If your father were still here, he wouldn’t have let that happen, but now that he’s gone…-”

He pauses again, and after hurling over laughing, stands back up straight again as the laugh dies all too abruptly. So you stand up from your seat, the corner of your lip curling over as you notice just why he’s gone silent.

By now the tea is slowly getting cold but you don’t care much for it as you stand tall, hands held together before you in a formal manner.

“The person who betrayed him…” His eyes narrow. “Who was it?”

“Oh uncle,” you mock that title, mirth in your eyes, “I think you know exactly where that answer lies.”

Danger.

Something screams danger when his gaze darkens in realization.

And yet you seem to only be attracted to danger as it is the only thing you’ve ever gotten used to seeing every day. The danger of being born as a mafia heir, married to a mafia powerhouse, spiraled into a hellhole you cannot ever seem to escape so you run towards it.

Directly into the fire.

Into the danger.

Provoking your enemies, knowing exactly just what their reactions will be, because danger seems to be the one thing in your life that will never leave and abandon you out of nowhere. The only thing you can forever trust to catch you were you to fall blindly into it.

And blindly you fall, trusting it to come.

And comes it goes, directly your way.

Never disappointing.

Namjoon called you reckless and for the first time in forever, you might have to agree with him. Because being reckless means not caring for the consequences to come after committing a rash action. The reckless ones do not care what happens to them, they live off adrenaline, they run towards the fire when everyone else runs away.

Towards the danger despite knowing there will always be a chance they may not survive. Unheeding, stubborn, thoughtless, careless, negligent, imprudent. Unwise, unwary, incautious, hasty.

A fool.

But misguided and left on their own. Lonely, abandoned, hurt, isolated, rejected, forsaken. An outcast and unloved, a disappointment and broken.

Broken.

A broken little soul whose heart lies empty with a hole pierced through the middle.

You are reckless. You are broken.

And broken things do not know how to save themselves, they only know the warmth of the fire. That is the only thing they can rely on.

So you stay within his vicinity, within Karl’s reach, watching, simply standing there, keeping still, as if keeping vigil. Like you’re just waiting, just expecting for something, anything, the inevitable, to happen. And when it comes in the form of a harsh, harsh slap across the face that has your body turning over to the side and having to hold onto the table to keep your balance, you can’t even say that you are surprised.

It feels like being in the presence of your father all over again, in the face of danger, of a manipulator, of a gaslighter, of an abuser.

He returns hard and so vividly in the form of anger, in the form of a ghost, a spirit whom you see standing right behind Karl. He stands as still as ever, hands held behind his back, simply watching.

Watching.

While you stand before him in front of a man he’s using to command orders over him. Using violence through others because father never raises his hands, father never puts in the effort or strength or power into physical forms. He does it through others, he commands through others, he hurts through others.

Watching until he’s satisfied.

But he’s never satisfied. He’s never satisfied.

And on your end, you can do nothing but accept it all willingly.

There is nothing else you can do, there is nothing else that can be done. It is like being in his presence all over again. Yeonjun, the Reapers behind you, standing still, told to not do a thing, to not move an inch, and your father behind the violence, keeping silent with a deadly gaze.

You return to the past.

You see him.

He’s right there.

And Karl raises his hand again.

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musicloverxoxo7 · 2 years

Text

I need to touch you – featuring Namjoon

Idol!Namjoon x fem!reader

Summary: After a fight you and Namjoon haven’t spoken to each other in a day. You also haven’t allowed him to touch you. He’s had enough now.

Themes/warnings: smut with a bit of plot, unprotected sex, orgasm denial, tying up, marking, nipple play, fingering, bit of fluff, established relationship

Wordcount: ca. 1.6k

Disclaimer: 18+, DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE UNDER 18

I do not own BTS. They merely inspire me. None of this is related to their persons in real life.

Even though it’s been about 24 hours since the fight, you’re still sulking a bit. Mostly you’re mad that Namjoon didn’t send his usual lunch text. Even if you’re fighting, you still want that.

You put down your phone and go into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea. It’s been a long day for you as well. Work was good, but eventful.

The opening of the front door makes you turn. On a normal day, Namjoon might not be home for another hour or two.

Quickly, you turn away from the door again. He doesn’t need to see just how much you’ve longed for him. You pick out a cup and select a teabag.

“I’m home, honey”, comes the low voice from behind you.

“I heard that.”

You can feel him come closer and stop just short of you.

“Turn around… please.”

You put down the cup and turn around. He’s towering over you. His eyes look devastated. At the same time, he’s sucking in his cheeks in that hot Namjoon way, which is always a major turn on.

You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Enough, honey. I can’t do this. Let me touch you, please.”

“I never told you to stop touching me.”

You are engulfed in a hug so quickly you have the air knocked out of you. His strong arms hold you very tightly.

“You told me to get away from you.”

“Yeah, for, like, half an hour until I calmed down. You needn’t have slept on the sofa. If I’d wanted you to, I’d have told you.”

Namjoon pulls back his head a little. You look up at him. Your lips meet in a hungry kiss. His hands start roaming over your body as if he hadn’t touched you in weeks. You rest your hands on his firm pecks.

With one arm firmly around your waist, Namjoon starts walking backwards towards the bedroom. You only realize now that he’s still wearing his coat, hat and scarf.

You break the kiss.

“We should stop fighting like that.”

“And deprive us of the chance to have makeup sex? No way.”

Namjoon turns until the back of your legs hits the bed. He eyes you with a fond smile.

“My pretty honey. I hope you know what your lack of proper communication means.”

You hold up your hands, putting the wrists together.

“So arrest me, officer.”

His dimples appear as he smiles. He pulls off his scarf and ties it around your wrists with a series of complicated knots.

“Tightness?”

You tug on it.

“Works.”

“I’m arresting you for grave bodily harm, ma’am.”

Namjoon spins you around. Your back meets his chest.

“Ah, what a shame. What’s the punishment?”

“It’s quite severe, I fear.”

His hands make quick work of unbuttoning your blouse. Since you ditched the bra as soon as you entered the apartment, his hands now roam freely over your boobs and stomach.

“Mh, honey, you have the nicest boobs”, he whispers against your neck, cupping them. His mouth moves up and down your neck, shoulder and jawline, nibbling a little here and there. You’re like putty in his hands and he knows it.

“Stay right there and don’t move, or the punishment will be even harsher.”

His hands are gone and so is his body. You pout. It feels wrong and empty without him. Behind you, you hear the rustling of clothes.

It doesn’t take long until his chest touches your back again. You’re pretty sure he’s stripped off everything but his underwear. The urge to touch him is nearly all-encompassing at this point. It’s like he can read your mind.

“No, honey. You can’t touch me. Don’t even ask.”

You pout again. You know that if he could see your face, he’d give in. He starts kissing and marking your neck, sucking on it until you can feel the sting. His hands travel to your nipples. He twists and tucks on them until you feel like crying because it’s so nice and they’re so sensitive.

One of his hands leaves your nipple and moves down your stomach. He unbuttons your pants and impatiently slides his hand into your underwear. When he touches your clit, you’re barely holding on anymore.

You rub against his hand, trying to get him to move faster. Your stomach muscles contract and your legs shake. The high is nearly there.

Namjoon withdraws both his hands.

Your legs give up and you fall onto the bed.

“Why did you do that? I was so close.”

“Bad girls don’t get to cum.”

You turn onto your back and pull a grimace.

He smiles at you. The cute dimple smile. No matter how much he looks like an angel, he can be mean.

“Scoot back a little.” His voice is soft but authoritative. Years of practice. You do as you’re told.

Namjoon kneels down and pulls on your pants. You lift your hips. They come off, along with your underwear. Then he takes your legs, drapes them over his shoulders and pulls you closer until your clit nearly touches his nose.

“Are you going to deny me again?”

“We’ll see.”

You try to weigh if his tone sounds more like no or yes, but your brain decides it needs to focus elsewhere when Namjoon dives in with his tongue.

Having been together for years has taught him how you like things. Like the way he draws little circles with his tongue. You eagerly lean into the touch.

“Are you going to be a good girl now, y/n”, Namjoon asks, replacing his tongue with his fingers.

You raise your head to look at him. His eyes are dark and he’s smiling ever so slightly.

“Yes, I’ll be your good girl.”

“I’m not sure I believe that.”

He withdraws his hand. You feel naked and buck your hips to get some traction. Nothing.

“Please, Joon, please”, your whining sounds almost like a sob.

The tough guy façade melts and his eyes soften.

“You want me to keep going, honey?”

“Yes, please. Please. I want to cum.”

Namjoon dives back in with his tongue, gently playing with your clit. His fingers run over your entrance. You tilt your hips to make them slide into you. He chuckles. The vibrations make your eyes roll backwards.

He slips one finger into you and curls it right against your G-spot.

“Joon”, you moan.

Being denied twice, you can’t hold back much longer. The orgasm makes you nearly smother Namjoon with your thighs as you tighten around his finger. It takes you longer than normal to come down from your high.

You lie there, hands still tied, completely spent. Namjoon comes out from between your legs.

He picks you up and positions you in the middle of the bed. You aren’t too tired to appreciate the way his strong arms feel around you. With nimble fingers he unties his scarf and throws it off the bed.

You mouth quirks up into a smile. No wonder he always loses things.

Namjoon positions himself between your thighs and props his arms up next to your sides. He smiles down at you. Your bodies barely touch.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, babe.” You raise your hand and stroke his cheek. He leans into the touch.

“Are you tired?”

“A little. But I’m up for more.”

You run your hand down his body until you can palm the head of his dick. You can feel his entire body tense.

“You have to do the work, though.”

He doesn’t need telling twice. With one hand, he pushes down his underwear and guides his dick to your entrance. You rub against him. He always feels so nice.

Slowly, he pushes into you. The feeling of fulness is welcome after all the teasing before.

He bottoms out and lets out a groan.

You gently nudge him with your hips to start moving. He gets the message. The rhythm he sets is relentless. Each powerful, quick thrust has you clawing at his back. Your insides, still sensitive from the previous orgasm, get the right kind of friction to have you squeezing around him again, your legs turning into jelly.

Namjoon is panting above you. His sweatiness means there’s no friction as your bodies move in tandem. You dig your heels into the mattress to make the penetration even deeper. It feels like your soul leaves your body as you convulse under him.

The second high hits you.

You dig your nails into his back, dry sobs racking your body.

With a grunt, Namjoon lets go as well, spilling inside you.

He collapses on top of you, making sure to keep some of his weight off of you.

“How about next time we fight, we skip most of the not talking and just get to the good part?”

“I’m all for it”, Namjoon mumbles into your shoulder. He pushes himself up a little so he can look at you. “I hate when we don’t talk, and I can’t touch you. I want to hold you when we fall asleep.”

“I hated not talking as well. How about we work on our arguing techniques?”

“I’ll go to the library tomorrow and find us some good, recent books on it.”

You cup his cheeks and pull his face down again. Your lips meet in a gentle kiss. When you break apart, he looks down at you as if you were the only person that mattered in the world.

“I look forward to marrying you next spring, honey.”

He gets up and pulls out of you slowly.

“I’ll be back with a washcloth in a moment.”

As he walks towards the bathroom and you watch his nice ass, you think for the millionth time that you definitely are the lucky one.

Please do not copy, translate, or repost my work. Doing so will make you legally liable for stealing intellectual property.

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