Coward and Proud of It
(Nathaniel is drawing in his sketchbook after another akuma attack, and notices his classmates looking embarassed, their faces riddled with guilt.)
Nathaniel: Why do you guys look like that?
Alix: Dude, we’re such horrible friends! We forgot about you again!
(He looked confused. She sounded sincere, but why?)
Rose: I can’t believe we left you behind! We’re supposed to look out for each other!
Nathaniel: Uh, what are you talking about?
Nino: We didn’t go back to look for you dude! We were too busy saving our own skins. (He looks ashamed. Nathaniel realizes what’s going on.)
Nathaniel: Are you talking about the last akuma attack? You think you abandoned me?
Kim: Yeah! You were nowhere to be found. Weren’t you looking for us?
Nathaniel: Uh... no? Guys, you didn’t leave me behind. I left you.
(The entire class gasps in shock.)
Chloe: What are you on about, Kurtzberg?!
(He just rolls his eyes at the girl.)
Nathaniel: Whenever I am able to do so, I slip away from you guys. Afterall, Akumas seem to have a magnet for our group. And the best way to avoid getting killed is to lay low, away from the source.
Adrien: You make it sound like we’re a liability to you!
Nathaniel: *Bluntly* You are. You all run around like headless chickens, instead of ducking for cover and keeping your heads down. If this were a zombie apocalypse, you’d fail horribly. Well, except for Adrien and Marinette. Somehow you two always manage to avoid the brunt of the attacks. Not to mention you’ve never been akumatized yourselves. Main character energy if I’ve ever seen it.
Marinette: Yeah... that’s the reason. *Internally sweating*
Max: Nathaniel, you make up one fourteenth of a group. I am pretty sure we’d realize if you had abandoned us.
Nathaniel: Well, Max, for a guy with such a high iq, you clearly weren’t smart enough the other four times I did it.
Alya: Hold on a second, you’ve left us FIVE TIMES?!
(Nathaniel nods. He doesn’t understand why everyone seems so surprised.)
Nathaniel: You make it sound like it’s such a hard thing to do. When you’re all freaking out like that, it’s easy for a quiet guy like me to slip away.
Alix: (Talking about the Art Club Squad) But every time we texted you in the group chat, you acted like you were trying to find us. You even said you understood how panicked we got.
Nathaniel: Yeah, I was lying. You think I’m gonna reveal my escape plans? Then you’ll wanna join me, and I can’t have anyone from this class, even my friends, putting a target on my back via association.
Juleka: *Mumbling* Ouch, dude.
Chloe: Hmph! Well if you’re so elusive, tell us how on earth a nobody like you managed to survive all these attacks.
Nathaniel: Why should I tell you? You’d just try to join me next time.
(Rose uses her puppy dog eyes, and he caves.)
Nathaniel: Alright, fine. But I’m not taking any of you next time, you hear me?
(They grumble and nod.)
Nathaniel: Ok, Stormy Weather was pretty easy. All I had to do was avoid Alec, head home to my house, shut all the windows, lock the doors, hide under the bed, and done. For some reason, Akumas usually attack anyone unlucky enough to be outside. If they don’t have a specific victim in mind that is.
(The classmates all mutter in agreement. He had a point.)
Nathaniel: Next up was Guitar Villain, and once again you all ran off together, not even thinking of splitting up. And it seems none of you got the idea of just pretending to like the music. That’s what I did, just copied what I saw Ivan doing in class the day before, and headbanged like there was no tomorrow. I find the music to be cringe as all hell, not to mention the singer’s a deadbeat dad with an obviously fake English accent, but I had to fake it to make it.
Juleka: *Muttering* He really is a scumbag.
Nathaniel: Then there was Frightingale. I didn’t escape by myself, since I got a helping hand from a certain cute writer who I had been in the music video with. Turns out we had both been crushing on the other for awhile, and finally had the courage to ask eachother out. He took me to a safespot with the other kids in Mendeliev’s class, they took a liking to me, since I actually bothered to ask about their lives. You do realize that the kids besides Marc, Mireille, Jean and Aurore have names right?
Marinette: Of course we did!
Nathaniel: Really, what are they?
(The class is unable to even come up with a guess.)
Sabrina: Uh...
Nathaniel: That’s what I thought. Anyway, Zombizou was my favorite. Me and the Science kids got to kick love-zombie ass, and in order to avoid suspicion, Marc and I kept making out whenever they were near. It was so awesome! (He blushes before getting back on topic.) So yeah. You guys never abandoned me, I abandoned you. And before you say anything, no, I’m not sorry.
Alix: *Looking forlorn* But dude... we’re your friends!
Nathaniel: Well, you are. Most of the Art Squad is, but the rest of you only interact with me if you need something for your ships. You realize I’m an accomplished cartoonist, right? The Ladybug comic I work on with Marc is a huge success. I’m just as important as the rest of you!
Kim: Dude, we aren’t saying you’re not.
Nathaniel: Well I wasn’t important enough for any of you to notice I was being bullied by Chloe?
Chloe: Oh please, Kurtzberg. You got off easy.
Marinette: She made everyone’s life bad, Nathaniel. Not just yours!
Nathaniel: When you get bullied, everyone coddles you. When I get humiliated in front of the class, nobody besides my art friends came to comfort me, to explain to me why I got akumatized, why I was right to feel angry about what happened. Marc’s class also took the time to explain to me how it was creepy to write my self-insert being in love with a real classmate. They’re the reason I apologized to you, Marinette.
Chloe: Well if they’re so cool, then why don’t you join them!
Mylene: Chloe! We wouldn’t want that! Nathaniel’s our friend!
Nathaniel: Actually, that’s what I plan on doing next year. No offense, but I can only tolerate like half of you. I’d rather be with a class that actually recognizes my value, that takes the time to ask how I’m doing. If that makes me a background character in your world, so be it.
(He gets up and sees Marc waiting for him.)
Nathaniel: I’m not some helpless little lamb that gets lost whenever there’s an akuma. I’m a survivor, a coward, and I’m proud of it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna make out with my boyfriend.
(He smirks as he sees each classmate with their jaw on the floor.)
Turns out our Nath wasn’t abandoned after all. He’s just an escape artist. This felt so cathartic to write, and I hope you enjoyed it. As usual, let me know your thoughts in reblogs, replies, posts, and asks. @artzychic27 @msweebyness
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