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#nausea is literally the worst feeling
tsunderedestroyer · 2 years
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Pregnancy update: this kid will be an only child. Morning sickness is actually all the time sickness. I can’t hold down anything besides popsicles and maybe a few bites of ramen here or there. I literally have no idea how I will make it to the second trimester.
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orcelito · 1 month
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Omfg I never actually posted about this but just like 2 days ago I realized that no it is Not normal to experience lightheadedness near daily when I've gone just a little too long without eating
I looked it up and apparently lightheadedness/dizziness CAN be a part of fibromyalgia (which I think I have for a number of different reasons), so like. It all makes sense.
Fuckin fibromyalgia. It's the source of like 95% of my physical problems, I swear. Every Damn Thing can be traced back to it. What a pain.
#speculation nation#'what a pain' haha get it bc chronic pain#frankly speaking the chronic pain part of it isn't the Worst. it's only a few times a month that i get my arm and leg aches#(though sometimes ill have bouts that last longer. like in january i think when i had arm aches for over a Week)#then again my rib cartilage inflammation is a permanent thing. my ribs Always are fucked up.#and i dont know 100% that it's bc of fibro but this condition has been linked to fibro and it didnt go away with anti-inflammatories So#in the end the pain isnt my biggest concern for treating my fibro. aside from the frequent headaches. i Would like to counter those.#what i really need is help with my chronic fatigue and weakness spells#i hate how fragile i feel so much of the time. bc im NOT weak. for my size im actually surprisingly strong.#but im quick to tire and if i push myself too hard then im practically bedridden#i will literally get symptoms of sickness if im too fatigued. including nausea and coughing and headaches#all fixed after ive gotten some rest. so im not Actually sick.#im tired and fed up with how finicky my body is and how i have to eat on time always or i'll be threatened with passing out.#havent passed out Yet but ive had some times where i end up Having to sit bc i get tunnel vision and my scalp is prickling#and it feels like my brain is squeezing and i know i Have to sit down Right Now#idk. there are many things like this. and i am sooooo tired of it.#i want a fibro diagnosis so i can actually get some help for the things that make life so hard to live.#im not depressed im just chronically fatigued. and so very tired.#give me some Energizing Meds or smth. help me please 😭😭😭 i hate living like this 😭😭😭😭😭#i wanna be able to do things without being bedridden for the rest of the day 😭😭😭😭 please 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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I downloaded an app that I think is meant to be used for like, detailed food tracking or something, but I instead really just wanted something with this format (color coded calendar days) so I could put in one single simple entry a day to kind of rate my day overall (based on physical health symptoms).. which..... looking back over it for the new year since when I first started tracking.. 9 "good" days in about 9 months, so roughly one good day a month LOL...
#A neutral/yellow day is if I felt sick or had any symptoms (nausea. joint pains. headahces. etc.)#to a distracting degree for at least an hour or more at any point in the day - YET it was not so severe or so distracting#that i was completely unable to get anything done. An orange day is if I was so sick or felt so bad#that I completed absolutely nothing that day because my primary focus was basically spending the entire day on whatever#was wrong with me or recovering from that. And a green day is a day that - even if maybe i had a few aches or pains - I was never any#noticable or distracting amount of sick - PLUS - i also got a reasonable amount of things done.#If I don't feel very sick yet I also lack the energy or mental wellness to complete daily tasks then it still counts as a yellow day.#So I guess like.. Yellow is if health was ok but focus was bad OR focus was okay but health was distracting. Green is BOTH focus and#health were mostly okay for a majority of the day with no major setbacks. And Orange is zero focus whatsoever because health is too bad.#There are also 5 categories. the worst is a super dark red and then best is a super bright green but I don't like using them#You have to select a bright red (x_x) emoji face to classify your day as dark red. and I dont like the implication of a 'dead' person face#because of my ocd lmao... it makes me afraid it's some habringer of death (if I select it for that day then somehting terrible will happen#the next day or whatever lol) *** *** *** - so I never use that one. I also feel like the MOST extreme categories should be reserved for#super extreme circumstance like.. I would only do a dark red day if I was literally hospitlaized or something. And same with the bright#green days like.. that would imply I guess that i was both suuuuper productive ANd had basically no symptoms at all all day. like a#Very Very Good day. and I just think that's not even possible. no day ever goes by without me feeling at least a little sick or achey at#SOME point lol... A day with NO headahces or issues or etc would be.... wow... mythical occurence..#I have definitely gotten worse as I got older but even at like 15 or 16 years old I used to take ibuprophen a ton (I dont anymore of course#for stomach reasons lol) and remember having various minor problems here and there I was bothered by a lot#AAANYWAY.. also I count 44 'bad' days ghb... that's losing like.. at least one entire month of time a year.. maybe this is why I have so mu#much trouble getting things done and finishing my projects. BUT thats the point and why I wanted to track that. to like.. see it all laid#out at the end of the year. Maybe I could even compare years. Even though I started late in 2023. It'd be interesting to have a#yearly record of how many good vs. bad vs. neutral days I had in any given year.#(app is called 'Moodflow' on android phones. in case anyone sees this and asks. though I cant vouch for it or any of the features or anythi#ng since.. again. i literally ONLY use the one single feature of rating calendar days. I look at nothing else on there. And I keep my data#off and phone in airplane mode basically at all times so I never get ads on apps. Sometimes i'll mention liking some puzzle game or somethi#and then someone else is like 'yeah i love it but OMG so many ads' and I'm just like.. yeagh.... not for me lol.. but sorry to you. that#sounds annoying certainly..) ANYWAY.. auuugh... a sea of yellow neutrality. better than a sea of orange though. so :'3c
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fatcowboys · 1 year
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doctors? bad.
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the-casbah-way · 2 years
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ah the age old debate. do i eat before i go out so i have enough energy and risk being ill bc i ate, or do i just go on an empty stomach and pray i don’t start feeling rlly faint and weird
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murobrown · 2 years
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#new ability unlocked....✨health anxiety✨#I'm tired man I'm so fucking tired of panicking all the time because I feel like I'm going to pass out ot throw up#or constantly googling health symptoms what makes me feel thousands times worse and definitely doesn't calm me down#one day I'm sure I'm getting a heart attack on next day I have a brain tumor then epilepsy then I go for aneurysm...#fucking funniest thing is that it's been going on for two months and absolutely nothing happened to me#i just have constant headache nausea and pain in my stomach but I haven't passed out or threw up or anything#fuck I just want back my normal life when I'm not in constant worry#i feel like im 24/7 in a high alert panic mode so I can't comprehend anything calmly...#i feel like an animal that's constantly just running away from something#I'm scared too see a doctor because I don't even know how to explain my problems...they will think I'm completely insane...#I can't remember last time I ate something without feeling anxious and being in pain afterwards#and the worst thing is that I developed even ubhealier relationship with food by counting calories :))))#so even though I eat nothing I need to push myself into an intense workout because my brain tells me I need to burn everything#i didn't know ai could be even more messed up than I was before#but hey I lost a ton of weight and I am in the best shape I've ever been... it's all I ever wanted and it cost me only my sanity :)))))#i don't even have clothes to fit in anymore because everything literally falls down from me...#currently I'm convinced I'm going to pass out and die any second but I know I'll be alright I can't just die out of nowhere...#I'm healthy and everything will be okay...I survived so much and it will get only better#if you read this rant I typed out while hyperventilating congratulations you get a free cookie and a warm tea I'll be making#guys but seriously...do you know how to tackle this? or the only logical way is to see a doctor?#because I don't know how long can I go on like this considering from September my job should get even more stressful...#now my stress level is high like never before... just thinking about September is giving me a panic attack#aaaaand those are the things I shouldn't think about because the only thing stressing me out the most is my fucking self :)#that's the damn problem like the thing that's making me most stressed is the stress 🙃#I feel nauseous because I'm stressed and I'm stressed because I'm nauseous...makes sense#i think I'm loosing my mind...and it fucking sucks that I do this to myself for no reason at all#i have a nice relaxing day and then in the evening I decide to think about all the bad stuff and kill it all#another scary thing is living on your own without any close friends in your life and with your family hours away...it won't let me sleep#if anything happens I'm alone...if I pass out right now I need to take care about myself#i often think how long would it take to find my dead body here...and then I shake and cry because I don't want to die
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iridescentis · 9 hours
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the life is strange soundtrack playlist i use to listen to while i write wwy is 3hrs long and for the first time i have listened to it all the way through and looped a song 8 times
i have written 4k words so wwy chapter 8 is up to 7k, and almost done! literally maybe 2k ish left to go, maybe a little less, but it should be published tomorrow!
it is 4am now so i am finally going to sleep, but that was very productive!
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many-gay-magpies · 6 months
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i want to go back to sleep but my blood is not sugaring
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bisexual-ashe · 8 months
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so apparently i probably have heat exhaustion teehee
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eepyjay · 1 year
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Currently experiencing the worst combo known to man, a headache with nausea
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ghosthart · 1 year
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i’ve been super sick with a fever and cough for the past 3 days and i’ve been taking dayquil and ibuprofen but i feel like i might of taken too many or something because i keep getting waves of nausea and intense pain in my stomach like a knot in my stomach like i have to throw up or something but then nothing happens like i just want it to stoppp
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gayemoji · 2 years
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alright boys i celebrated the queens funeral a little too hard & ended up munting on my dog
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raeathnos · 2 years
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privitivium · 4 months
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delinquent yan x sub himbo reader :p
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guy who you think is one of the absolute worst people ever tries to explain that dude, no, it's the rumors, Trust. but everytime you see him, your gut fluttering with a horrible feeling of sickness, nausea,,, some random drama about him repeatedly kicking one of his lackeys' heads coming to mind every time you see him, or merely think of him. it was no rumor - there was a video paired with it... no wonder you fucking hate him, right? a slight hint of distaste shown on your face everytime you glance at himㅡbut he can redeem himself. Trust. only your opinion really matters - he literally loves you and your ditzy nature, come on bro! thinking that it will be ultimately easy to switch your thoughts about him... and come on, bro.. do you seriously think its someone other than him leaving notes with chicken-scratch of praises in ur locker? like babe, cmon. who else is gonna write obscure shit about the way your gym clothes smell, babe?? that guy had it coming, alright? he was literally talking shit about you, babe. i had to drop him as a friend and in a fight babe please
trying to explain you had somewhere to be as delinquent and his lackeys usher you toward the bathroom in construction, delinquent knowing how virtually bad you are with chicks, a virgin with most things.. but, like, bro. youre just trying to get to your friends who are probably worried about you, what is so important?! haha, uh.. how can you think about such things when this disgusting person is jerking you off so good your mind blanks? a little questioning and curious as he pulled you around, lackeys dispersing and disappearing, anxious around this scary looking guy who was just a little smaller than you - as bulky as you.. merely stares at you in admiration while rubbing his palm along ur bulge ㅡ but woah, his hand is pretty soft on your cock.. and woah, is that your favorite soda? woah! you're totally sold, new friend highfive!
... did he srsly just jerk u off in the bathroom then offer you ur favorite drink just to be called a friend? alright fine, he'll take itㅡon the road of a high opinion, hoping that you forget about his slip-up - but he gets pretty impatient, silly guy... lucky ur so cute.
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eureka-its-zico · 8 months
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Chaos in Their Bones Ch. 4
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Ongoing Series
Synopsis: All your life you’d listened to your friend, Usopp spin wild tales about pirates and adventure. Pirates weren’t a thing that came often to Syrup Village, but one straw hat pirate and his crew changed all that the day they arrived. Now, you aren’t so sure if your sleepy little village was always pirate-free or if no one had been paying attention.  
Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader
Genre: friends to lovers, frenemies to lovers, slow burn (I hope y’all like aching) eventual smut
Words: 8.7+
A/N:  This chapter is mostly filler from 1.04-1.05. This chapter also, once again has a POV from Zoro. I kept going through my options of what I could do to possibly give these two idiots more alone time and this was the result. The beginning, and introduction, of Sanji begins right at Chapter 5 and I already have too many ✨ideas ✨ that I know what to do with. Also, I did add in Zoro working out. It’s a brief mention, but I just found it weird he didn’t have any of those scenes (probably for damn good reason). As always, thank you guys for all the love and support. I hope you all continue to enjoy this story🖤 Much Love, Jenn
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Previous Next
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“I don’t know, Doc. You’re starting to look a little pale.”
“And green.”
You’d been hugging the side of this particular railing since you’d sailed out of port. It was your first time ever on a ship and it wasn’t going too great. You’d heard about seasickness and even had sailors come asking for Naan’s Elfroot to chew to stem the tide while they were out at sea. You always thought they were being ridiculous. How bad could it be? 
Well, if your dry heaving was any indication - pretty bad. Of course, Zoro just had to make it worse. 
You glanced up from looking at the water that was gently tapping the side of the boat to the growing bane of your existence. One hand was tucked into the pocket of his jeans while the other rested on the hilt of his swords. He looked effortlessly cool as he watched you with - was that a smirk? 
He’d changed into a yellow shirt with fine detailing of gray lines running horizontally and vertically, which matched perfectly with his gray pants. 
Zoro was more of a fashionista than he’d let on. 
“It’s just the reflection of your hair,” you shot back at him. 
You could feel the next wave of nausea thrashing around in your stomach and you prayed you could keep it down. You were going to lose more cool points if you hurled again. Zoro squinted over the sun's rays to regard your current state. He must have been able to tell you were 0.2 seconds from hurling because, instead of replying, he simply twirled his finger indicating for you to turn around. 
You did as he instructed, but made sure to follow it up with a middle finger salute. 
“Man, you two always like this? You just met.” Usopp asked. 
Usopp tried doing the dotting friend routine by patting you a few times, awkwardly, on your back. It felt more like he was trying to get a burp out of you than soothe you. 
“It’s because they like each other.”
Nami pranced out of the galley and chose violence. It only took both you and Zoro to register her words before you both shouted: 
“I don’t like her.”
“I hate him!”
Nami wrapped her arms around herself as she looked you both over. A devious smile tilting the edges of her mouth and you had to look away before it turned into the shit eating grin you’d come to expect. 
“I’m sure you both do,” she teased. 
You wanted to prove to her that you meant it. Zoro would be the last person you would say you liked, like- like that. The man was literally the biggest pain in the ass you’d ever met. 
“Usopp,” you croaked, “can you get my bag, please.”
“I’m on it, Doc.”
At the sound of his feet hitting the deck, a groan of discomfort resonated in your chest. How could anyone think that sailing was fun? This felt like the absolute worst. 
When you first entered the Going Merry you couldn’t believe how beautiful it was. You’d heard Usopp tell you stories since he cleaned it everyday. It was as finely crafted as he’d described, and the white ashwood against the walnut was a stark contrast but complemented each other beautifully. There wasn’t another ship like the Going Merry and a one-of-a-kind ship should belong to someone as extraordinary as Luffy.
The minute you’d cast off into the giant blue you’d almost panicked. What if this was a mistake? You’d never been out in open water before nor had you ever left Syrup village. This could either be one of the greatest adventures of your life or a disaster. The only thing that kept you from flinging yourself over the side and swimming back was when you’d walked the stern and the glint of the sun shone down on the water. 
The sun’s rays illuminated the water like light reflecting off a crystal glass. One minute it was the deepest blue. The color was solid enough that your reflection was easy to see and in a matter of seconds after a ray of light touched its water, it took on a cornflower hue that made the water translucent. 
You’d been able to admire it for all of three seconds before you were embarrassing yourself over the port bow. 
“I’m back, Doc,” Usopp spoke softly as he placed a soft hand on your shoulder. He lightly tapped the bag against your hands to try and coax you to grab it. “Do you need me to get you water or anything?”
“Water is not going to help. It’ll make it worse.” 
You thought he was trying just to be his usual monotoned “Hi, I’m Zoro and I could care less,” self, but when you finally peeled your forehead off your forearm and looked at him he wasn’t even looking at either of you. He was curled up, like a lazy cat, against a couple of crates with his eyes closed and faced tilted towards the sun. With his hands infamously stuffed inside his pockets. 
“It would?”
You nodded your head only once in recognition before you started searching through your bag. Your hands started scrambling inside it a soft, “No,no,” building into a frenzy before you stopped searching.
“I’m guessing your magic little root isn’t in there.”
Zoro was still sitting without a care while you felt like you wanted to throw yourself overboard. 
“No. It isn’t.”
Mental note: Ask Luffy to stop at Irkhaven Isle to get supplies. 
Suddenly, Zoro stood in one graceful motion and walked off towards the galley. 
Ass. 
You turned back to the Going Merry’s railing and held on tight. Your stomach felt like you’d swallowed glass and got punched, it was so empty. Another groan was building in your chest when a cold bottle touched the back of your arm. 
The coolness to your skin sent a yelp of surprise from you, and sent you whirling to the presence beside you. Zoro was leaning back against the railing, looking as calm as ever, with a beer extended out between you. 
“Isn’t it a little bit too early to be drinking?” 
He rolled his eyes as he switched positions. He was now mimicking your current position against the rail but looked effortless and was still holding that damn beer out to you. 
“It’s for you.”
“For me? Zoro, I don’t think now is the time to be drinking-“
“Just drink it,” he growled, an obvious annoyance replacing his earlier calm. 
What hell, what was a beer going to do? At most, it would at least give your stomach something to actually throw up instead of dry heaving yourself into a six pack. 
You reached out and took it from him. Zoro continued to watch you as you placed the bottle to your lips, waiting for you to take a sip. 
“Could I get some privacy here?”
Zoro rolled his eyes but did as you asked looking off into the southside of the ship. You took that moment to take a long pull from the bottle. Surprisingly, it was damn good beer. You waited for the bitter aftertaste to kick in, but found it replaced with the tang of citrus. You immediately took another drink and another. It wasn’t until you were halfway to the middle of the bottle that you noticed the ship had been rocked a few times by the waves and yet…
You went to turn your attention back to Zoro and found him already staring at you. 
I am not blushing. 
You turned quickly to look back out at the ocean with both arms leaning over the railing as you took in the picturesque view. You couldn’t believe beer was making your sea sickness disappear. Out of your peripherals you waited for him to turn away from you. Unable to say it to his face as you played with the label that was peeling off from condensation. 
Alcohol. It was brilliant. You were sure your body was still feeling sick, but the depressant in the beer wasn’t allowing those receptors to acknowledge it. Tilting the bottle at him you asked, “How’d you know this would work.” 
“It’s how I survived all my boat trips. Old guy I’d met aboard my first ship when I was seventeen taught me that trick.” 
“Is that why you have so much booze? Cause you have a weak stomach?” 
Your question came off worse than you intended. You genuinely weren’t trying to insult him. He’d just helped you. Zoro has helped you. 
“No. I just like to drink.” 
His tone was void of all emotion. The little bit he’d given you quickly washed away and you wanted to kick yourself. 
Foot meet mouth. Mouth meets foot. 
You weren’t very good at this. The only friend you’d ever actually had was Usopp. The both of you know the tone of the other and every secret in between. You’d tried to make friends with the other kids in town, but holding up a frog as a friendship gift didn’t seem to go over too well. And on that wonderful trip down memory lane…
You straightened up and took a smaller sip from the beer before you leaned down to pick up your abandoned satchel. 
“Thank you, Zoro.”
The both of you stared at the other until the silence was washed out by the squawking of seagulls and the rush of water. Even now in this weird game of chicken, you knew you would be the first to give. His dark eyes staring straight through you until you felt exposed. You tipped the bottle for good measure and turned on your heel to make your way inside the safety of the kitchen. Your hand clutching the bottle close as your brain tried to make sense of what happened. 
Zoro helped you. He didn’t have too and for all intents and purposes you were surprised he didn’t just let you suffer, but he’d chosen not to. What did that even mean? He was just being friendly. It didn’t mean anything more than that. 
Instead of dwelling on the question, you sat down in the corner booth and took another pull from the bottle. 
——————-
After you finished your first bottle, you found another, and another until you’d ended up blissfully passed out in the booth. You were vaguely aware that Luffy and the crew had come into the galley at some point. The sound of Usopp and Luffy struggling to talk over the other was what forced you out of your nap.
“We all know who the Captain is.”
“It’s me.”
Two voices rang out as one with each ending in a high-pitch of surprise. It was his first day and already Usopp was trying to stir up mutiny on the ship. If you weren’t interested in staying unconscious you were positive you would’ve smiled. 
“Just call me Captain Usopp.”
“We already know I’m the Captain.”
It didn’t surprise you they were still giving out declarations of who was Captain. You waited for it to become a campaign, like when Townsfolk ran for Mayor, but the sound of Nami’s laughter followed by - was that Zoro?! - ended both men’s rant. 
“See, this is what it’s all about,” Luffy’s voice chimed in. “From now it’s going to be smooth sailing.”
He was his usual happy sounding self. You were willing to bet it was infectious, making everyone’s earlier laughter remain in the small creases by their eyes and the raise of their lips. Luffy was indeed a Captain and one of the best kind. 
Enjoying the moment abruptly ended, however, when you caught the sound of a whistle outside. It grew more intense by the second. Whatever it was, was slicing through the air with a force that was audible. You weren’t sure why it took so long for your brain to register that it wasn’t a natural sound. It was rectified, however, when something violently slammed into the Going Merry and sent everything trembling. 
Your back immediately shot up off the cushion of the booth. Eyes open wide as you stumble to your feet watching Nami and Zoro do the same. 
“What in the hell was that?”
“Luffy opening his damn mouth,” Nami replied as you followed behind her. 
You were wondering how Luffy’s mouth could have anything to do with the current sounds coming from outside. Your response died in your throat the minute you got out onto the deck. You followed them to the stern of the ship and finally saw what was waiting for you all was a very large, very metal, Marine vessel trailing behind you. 
All the blood drained from your body and whatever buzz you’d had left over from earlier was now completely gone. 
“It’s the marines! We’re under attack!” 
Nami rushed to the wheel to begin to try evasive maneuvers to get you all out of the way of the oncoming cannonballs. Another shot rang out from the marine vessel and you waited to be struck by steaming metal and found yourself vaguely relieved when it crashed into the ocean a few feet from you. 
“How did they find us?”
“Does it matter? They’re trying to blow us out of the water!”
What the hell were you supposed to do? 
What in the hell could anyone do against being shot at by cannons and a marine vessel that was gaining on your small ship by the second. You could see three figures standing at the bow of the ship, eerily watching as if waiting for something - or someone - to appear. 
Luffy grabbed the telescope and peered through the lens. You all waited for him to give an order and what he said next surprised everyone. 
“Grandpa?”
“Grandpa!”
“Did you just call that guy grandpa?” Zoro asked, his eyes carefully watching Luffy as he glanced through the telescope back at the ship. 
He didn’t answer right away. The sound of another shot being fired made all of you space out from one another. You could feel the tension singing through your nerves. The adrenaline was demanding you to move or do something else besides just hopelessly stand like a damn target. The fight or flight in you erupted to life with one key thought hoarding every inch of clarity besides one: run. 
This time when the cannon came crashing down it came right at the edge of the stern. An eruption of water covering you in a fine mist of water. You didn’t get a chance to decide on what to do when another shot rang out. 
“Hit the deck!” 
Usopp’s scream was frantic enough you didn’t ask why, and did as he instructed and became one with the wood. Seconds later, the sound of speeding metal whizzed by you and smashed into the railing behind sending wood fragments everywhere. 
You couldn’t stop the scream that tore its way from your lips as your body curled in on itself. 
What the hell did I sign up for? 
You could hear the sounds of feet clumsily finding their footing again as everyone began to get up. You wanted to stay where you were, but the sharp sound of Zoro calling you a coward resonated inside your chest. 
You could do this. You could totally hundred-percent do this. 
It was your turn to begin to get up from your place on the stern deck, and just as you moved to your knees someone offered their hand for you to take. Color you shocked when you looked up to find that hand was attached to Zoro. You must have been staring too long because he looked away, hand still out, and grumbled, “You going to keep staring at it or take it?”
Yup, and there was the Zoro you’d grown to know and loathe.
“It just burns you up inside to be so helpful, doesn’t it?”
Your voice oozed with sarcasm as you took his hand - maybe a bit too aggressively - and started to get up. Zoro saw your passive-aggressive hand smack and did you one better. He pulled you quickly to your feet, but that quickness came at the cost of your balance. Your feet couldn’t catch their footing back on the deck and you ended haphazardly colliding into his chest. 
As fast as it happened, it was equally as fast that you both dislocated yourselves from each other.
“Is everybody okay?”
“I think so.” 
“No. Not okay. Not even close to okay.”
“I second, Usopp,” you said. 
You weren’t sure why you raised your hand. It could’ve been you just really needed them to know that no - no, this was definitely not okay. 
Luffy took your concerns with a grain of salt, however, and ran over to the cannon - the only cannon - on deck. You’d only just meet him, but Luffy didn’t strike you as someone who held onto any ill will. So, you were surprised to see the determination burn in his eyes and the scowl to cross his face. 
What did your grandpa do to you? 
If you weren’t mortally in danger of drowning at any minute or being shredded in half by a cannonball, you might have asked. 
“Usopp! Fire back at them!”
“Or how about we sail away as fast as we can?”
“I like that idea, actually,” you chimed in, a hand scratching the back of your neck. “That’s a solid plan if I ever heard one, Usopp.”
“Run from the marines?” 
Luffy looked between the three of you. He couldn’t believe that Usopp, Nami, and you were apparently so quick to not want to put up much of a fight. You did enjoy not being a sea decoration. 
“No. Never! Nami trim the…sail thing. Let’s sink their ship!”
“Wait, what? Are you crazy?”
You had to back up to stand next to Zoro as Luffy waved for Usopp to join him on the stern. The two of them grabbed a hold of the cannon to bring it towards an opening in the back. 
“Let’s sink their ship.” 
“Luffy, we don’t have time for this!” Nami interjected, but Luffy wasn’t listening. “They’re going to come up alongside us! If they do, we are finished.”
“Our odds keep sounding better and better,” you mumbled as you made your way over to Nami. 
“You are our Navigator. Do something.” 
Nami let out a groan before her whole demeanor changed. No longer was she trying to flee or get Luffy to see reason. Suddenly, she turned to Zoro and ordered him to go down and pull the sheet in. He didn’t waste a second before he brushed past you and down the stairs. 
You waited for her to order you to do something, anything, but she must have known it would’ve been like explaining math to a baby. You didn’t even know what she’d even just asked Zoro to do. Apparently, neither did he. 
“Which way is port?” 
A heavy sigh left her as she shouted back, “It’s the left!”
“Have you ever loaded a cannon before?”
“Yeah, yeah I’ve loaded tons of them,” Usopp replied coolly.
You had to give Usopp props. He was literally the master of bullshit and could keep a straight face even though you both knew the only thing he loaded was his imagination. 
“This is just a different model I’ve never seen before.”
“Usopp, you load the cannon in the barrel. Light it and then get the hell out of the way!”
Following Nami’s directions, Usopp rushed forward towards the barrel. You thought he was going to make it when the ball slipped out of his hand and landed with a heavy thud on the deck. You rushed forward to grab it before it rolled down the stairs, but didn’t notice Usopp rushing to join you in the hunt. What neither of you failed to notice was that the vibration from dropping the cannonball dislodged the others. 
In a split second, you and Usopp collided into one another and when you stepped back to stand up your heel caught a ball. You had barely enough seconds to lean yourself forward as you slipped down the stairs, taking each stair with a thud just like the cannonballs. 
Your knees slammed into the edge of one of the stairs, but the balls under your hips kept you slipping. You tried bending your knees to slow your descent only to have them successfully bump every step on the way down. 
“Oh shit, Doc are you okay?” Usopp shouted down after you. 
“I’m fantastic,” you grunted as you came to a stop before the last steps. 
You weren’t trying to remove yourself from the stairs. You could feel the pain in your knees growing with each passing second. You were willing to bet when you stood up, that dull throb that was beginning to resonate under your skin would shoot out like lightning the minute you stood up. Unfortunately, you’d forgotten who was at the bottom of the stairs with you. 
“Are you going to get up anytime soon or do you enjoy just laying there?” 
You were ready to tell Zoro where he could shove his swords when a gruff voice you’d never heard cut over the chaos. 
“Pirate vessel, by order of the marines, lower your sails and submit to my authority.”
You were willing to bet a million berries if that man wasn’t Luffy’s grandpa that wouldn’t even be an offer on any table. Ever. The sound of Zoro’s boots coming closer caused you to peel yourself up just enough before he - did he really just step over you? 
“Oh, you asshole,” you seethed. 
You scrambled to your feet to chase after him when you noticed another cannonball headed straight for the Merry. But where was the sound of the gunpowder? What felt even more unbelievable was what came after. 
Sure, Luffy told you he’d eaten a Devil fruit. He’d told you his body was made of rubber but seeing was believing. You watched as Luffy began to inhale air and his body blew up like a…balloon. Luffy was becoming an actual balloon of skin until the cannonball landed in the center of his stomach. He took the entire impact and flung it back at the marine vessel. One minute, you could hear the return fire whistling through the air. The next, you watched as the crow’s nest above the mast exploded and seconds later it came crashing down. 
Everything grew silent aboard the Merry as you all registered what you’d just witnessed. You were still staring at Luffy and back to the now very much on fire marine ship when Usopp’s surprised laughter cut through the silence. 
“That was amazing! You just saved us!”
“You didn’t tell me you could do that.”
You could feel your own smile slide across your face as the adrenaline began to bleed away. The aftershocks of the thrill of battle - no matter how unsuccessful - left you feeling ready to do it all again. Or take a nap. 
You were joining in on the laughter as you looked back at Nami, and at Usopp who was jumping in excitement with Luffy. You looked over at Zoro and found your earlier excitement drained from your body. Sure, you’d seen him smirk and look like the grumpy cat who ate the canary, but you’d never seen him smile. 
Sometime during the battle the wind had tussled up his hair making him appear like he’d just woken from a nap. It made him softer, less broody, and the grin that lit up his face actually reached his eyes and scrunched his nose. 
It was safer in the village. 
You wanted to say the thought was because of what had just happened. Even as Luffy ordered Nami to get you out of the area, you knew it wasn’t because of the danger. Hell, as much as it was a mess of a first battle, the adrenaline of it all was demanding for a release. Maybe you’d be able to use that as an excuse for why your heart was beating so wildly as you watch Zoro run a hand through his hair. 
The ship suddenly felt too constricting. It didn’t allow enough space between you and the swordsman who resided on this ship. You tried to shake your head clear of all those thoughts and turned to run after Luffy. You called his name as you carefully took the stairs down after him. 
“Something wrong, Doc?”
“No, no,” you waved him off. “I just - I wanted to ask a favor.”
“You can ask me for anything.”
You weren’t sure if you would ever get over how genuine Luffy was. Every word he said to you he meant it. You could probably tell him you needed the sun, and whether physically attainable or not, you knew Luffy would try his absolute best to bring it to you. 
Because Luffy was just that kind of Captain. 
“Would it be a bother if we stopped at an island? I’m in need of some supplies.”
———————
Luffy didn’t hesitate to say yes to your request to stop at Irkhaven. It only took you all of four seconds to explain what it was, where it was, and why you needed to go before he sent you to Nami to give her the coordinates. While you’d never physically gone with Naan to harvest the ingredients you’d grown up using, she made sure to tell you often how to get there. 
Just in case the day came she couldn’t. 
What you hadn’t expected as you walked through fields of lavender was to have Zoro trailing behind you. 
“How much longer are we going to be out here?”
“Until I have enough of everything to last us a while,” you called over your shoulder. 
You didn’t need to look behind you to know Zoro was shooting daggers into the back of your skull. While he hadn’t been happy being volunteered to go with you onto the island, he hadn’t argued with Luffy either. 
You stopped midway out of the lavender fields and took out your small knife to begin cutting gently through the stems. After you had a good enough bundle, you sheathed the knife back in its place on your satchel where you reached inside to grab a pre-cut piece of string. 
You could still feel Zoro watching you, as you tied the lavender together in a tight bundle. 
“I wasn’t aware picking flowers was life-saving medicine.” 
This time you did look over at him. Zoro, the strong and proud pirate hunter. The demon, Luffy said was his nickname. Looking at Zoro now, even in an endless field of lavender, he resonated power. You held no doubt he had earned such an intimidating name through grit and blood-soaked swords. 
He looked out of place next to you in a place meant for healing and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was more what he projected than who he was. While Luffy told you happily about the scary parts of Zoro (which Luffy by no means actually saw as scary) he’d also mentioned Zoro never went without a specific sword.
Remembering Luffy’s words, your eyes quickly darted down to the white-sheathed katana. If you had to put money on it, that was the one that held a deeper meaning to him. It was the one he clutched the tightest and his hand fell on absentmindedly. 
Once you knew the bundle was secure, you playfully poked it in his direction. 
“It does heal. It calms the mind and spirit. It creates restful sleep.”
“It stinks.” 
“You are absolutely impossible,” you grumbled, your eyes rolling as you turned away from him. 
You placed the bundle inside your satchel and started forward. You didn’t need to look back to know that Zoro would be behind you. This time you were leading him towards an eyeline of trees you’d spotted a few feet back. They looked promising to hold green chiretta. 
“So, why did Luffy send you with me?”
You came out first from the field and onto a path that was being taken over by the vegetation. 
“Because you don’t know how to protect yourself.”
“I can too.”
“A pot doesn’t count.”
You spun on your heels, satchel swinging, and caught it with your forearm just before it swung into your hip. You were pleased to see the unexpected action had caught him by surprise. Not the typical surprise that Usopp, or others, gave where it might be exaggerated or a gasp and step back. No, Zoro’s was the briefest flinch in the corner of his eyes. Blink and you would’ve missed it. 
“Hey, that pot kicked ass.”
“You got lucky.”
“Okay, Mosshead, then what do you call this?”
You lightly tapped your cheek to indicate the very noticeable bruise that was just beginning to fade from his left cheek. 
“I call that luck.”
You let out a huff as you turned and faced forward. Leading him towards where you needed to go and reminding yourself that you needed to focus on the task at hand. Not Zoro. 
“You carry a knife with you but you don’t use it.”
He stated it as a fact. Not a question. Zoro already knew that it wasn’t used for self-defense. 
“I use it to treat and clean infected wounds and forage for ingredients.”
“But not for self-defense.”
You found yourself whirling on him again and this time he was prepared. His hand resting on the edge of his sword and hand infamously tucked inside his pocket. 
“I’m a doctor, Zoro. I follow Naan’s oath to never do harm to anyone-“
“And what if to help someone - yourself - it meant that you had to take a life to save theirs?”
He’d taken a step towards you. His whole body radiated with an intensity you hadn’t been prepared for. You could feel your muscles straining to stay in place; to not retreat. Zoro had closed what space you’d had between the two of you until all he’d left were a few measly inches. 
“I try not to let it come to that.”
“You don’t always get to decide like that, it's not how the world works. You keep thinking like that and you’re going to be a liability.”
Your eyes narrowed in on him and you felt yourself get on your tippy toes without thinking. Your index finger pressed into his stupidly hard chest as you looked up at him. 
“It is not a liability to give a shit about people, Zoro. To care about who they are with their own wants and dreams. What makes someone a liability is not knowing who is worth that effort and who isn’t.” 
You dropped back down onto your heels and turned to stomp your way into the trees. What did he know? So, you weren’t exactly a swordsman or incredibly stretchy, and while Usopp wasn’t necessarily the bravest man on the planet he was a damn fine shot. Nami could kick ass and was the best navigator. What did you bring to the table? 
No. You wouldn’t let him make you think that way. 
You hadn’t realized you’d gone farther than intended into the forest of trees until you noticed not only the green chiterra growing all over the sides of them, but also what looked like gold cap mushrooms. One that you knew to be poisonous. 
You put it in the back of your mind. You weren’t here to get things to harm people. That wasn’t who you were and you wouldn’t let this newfound journey, or anyone, change that. You unsheathed your knife from your satchel and started carefully scraping off the moss from the bark of the tree. 
“I could train you.”
Those four words stopped you mid-scrap. It had been roughly a few minutes - only a few - since you’d both been silent. You expected the rest of your time out here collecting ingredients to go relatively dull with you both pouting in your respective corners. Out of everything you could’ve expected, those four words were most definitely not it. 
“Huh?”
God, you really needed to get it together. 
Zoro grunted out a, “Fuck me,” before he gave you his full attention. 
“I said I could train you. If you want.”
Was it possible that Zoro, the demon pirate hunter, was nervous? You couldn’t believe it, and for that exact reason you didn’t think twice about it. However, you couldn’t pass up the chance to tease him. Just a little. 
“Did Roronoa Zoro - the demon pirate hunter - just offer to teach me how to kick ass?”
This whole entire trip was turning into one unexpected thing after another. The last thing you would’ve thought you would earn from your teasing was a grimace, maybe a smirk if you were lucky. Instead, your words generated an actual smile from the demon himself and you were devastated. 
“I thought you said you never heard of me?”
Oh, right. He was talking and he needed you to word back. Right. You could do that. 
“Luffy,” your voice cracked on your captain's name and you pretended to cough to clear your throat. “Luffy was telling me about the first time you guys met. It was truly a riveting moment.” 
“Okay, let’s back up,” you began, your fingers motioning like a wheel. You’d been sitting with Luffy at the table eating breakfast. What had come over you to ask about how he met Zoro was still currently pending investigation. Luckily for you, Luffy wasn’t going to question you on why you wanted to know. “Did you just say you met him tied up inside the marine yard?”  “He’d given himself up. Never told me exactly why he’d done that actually.” Luffy was perplexed for all of a millisecond before he sank his teeth back into the dry meat in his hand.  “Oh, well I’m sure he was happy you let him down.” “Actually, he told me to get lost.”  Yup, you were choking on a piece of toast. Luffy just stated it like it was useless information. Not that his first mate didn’t tell him to essentially fuck off during their first meeting.  “He told you to get lost?” “Yeah, he did.” “So, why did you even bother staying there? You could’ve just left.” A smile began to grow on his lips. It wasn’t his usual radiant one that could rival the sun, but a thoughtful one. It told you the memory of meeting Zoro meant something special to Luffy, and it made you regard the interaction a little less harshly.  “I couldn’t just leave him there. Not when he has a dream to fulfill.” While you were still debating on whether Luffy was a real person, there wasn’t any denying that he searched for the good in people. Whatever it was he’d seen in Zoro told Luffy he was a good guy.  “So,” you drawled out the o, “he told you to get lost and for some reason your brain heard those words as, ‘follow your dreams’.” “He isn’t a bad guy, Doc. I know Zoro is more than just a pirate hunter with a scary nickname. He is someone with a dream, just like you, and I’m going to make sure he reaches it.”
Looking at Zoro now, you could see what Luffy saw in him. Sure, he was quick to anger and even more quick to say shit without thinking it through, but who wasn’t at times? You had experienced first hand the good that lived inside of him. 
He’d helped you when he didn’t have to when you were sick. He shared a part of himself, a small part but still a part, to see who he was underneath all the attitude. While you weren’t in the business of hurting anyone, you debated on whether letting him train you would at least make you useful enough to save other members of your crew - maybe Zoro - if something came up. 
You did hit someone with a pot and punch Zoro in his face. What could learning a few moves going to do? 
“Alright, demon pirate hunter, I’ll consider it.”
—————————
He wanted to throttle Luffy. 
The way you kept looking at him - saying his nickname - was stirring something foreign in his chest. He may not know exactly what it was but he didn’t have too. His body was telling him plainly he should take back his invitation to spend more time alone with you. You were only going to get in the way of his goal. 
All of those made sense why he should retract his invitation and head back to the Merry. And yet…
“If it pumps up your ego, I’ll say it as many times as you like. For a price.” 
You wiggled your eyebrows at him and it was so unexpected Zoro wanted to laugh. His offer to help train you had been in the back of his mind, but when he went to offer it, it’d gone rougher than he’d intended. He hadn’t meant to make you feel bad - to call you a liability.  It wasn’t that he thought you would be an actual liability for Luffy. 
You were a liability for him. 
The way you were looking at him now, the smile on your face, gave him all the warning he needed to know you were a dangerous wildcard. He’d made a promise to Kuina and you felt like the one thing that could keep him from it. 
Whatever the feelings you were stirring in him were something he needed to be wary of. Zoro wasn’t going to have any of it. He made a promise a long time ago and he wasn’t going to let you or anyone else get in the way of him keeping it. 
He was so lost in thought that he wasn’t aware you’d gotten so close. It wasn’t until your fingers slid over his ear, placing something behind it, that he was jolted back into the present. 
“Oh, shit I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out.”
Your voice was breathy and sweet with your wide eyes looking up at him with something dangerously close to reverence. Close like at the dinner table. Close like when he’d tumbled out of the well and landed on top of you. Zoro still had the way your body felt under him burned into his memory. One he’d tried to erase with the bottles of liquor that now sat empty inside his room. 
His hand moved up to feel what you’d placed behind his ear, and his fingertips were greeted by the soft give of flowers. 
“Did you seriously just put flowers in my hair?”
Your response was maddening. Zoro watched as you brought your hands up to join your shrug, as if he wasn’t standing there, flowers now pinched between his fingers. 
“I think you look cute.”
Cute. 
“Yeah. That’s not me.”
In a show that it wasn’t him, that you and your stupid flower giving were just another nuisance, he opened his fingers and let them fall to the ground. Zoro watched as your eyes that had been brimming with sunshine were darkened by clouds of sadness. Even your earlier giddy step was replaced by slouched shoulders that suddenly looked as if the world weighed heavily on them. 
“Okay.”
Your reply was meek. If he wasn’t straining to hear it he would’ve missed it. You didn’t give him another glance or yell at him for being an ass. That was what he had expected; what he was still waiting for. Zoro had known you for a couple of days and within that time came to learn you were the most maddening person he’d ever met - second to Luffy. This? He didn’t like this. He liked it better when you fought back. When you told him what an asshole he was and when you touched him without thinking. 
Zoro watched as you went back to gently maneuvering your knife under the bark; skilled hands that removed pieces of that weird-looking fungus. You pulled an empty glass from your bag and, with the same gentleness, pushed it past the lip of the bottle to hold it inside. 
Cute. 
That’s what she’d called him. 
I am not cute. I’m the demon pirate hunter, Roronoa Zoro. 
He could feel his jaw flexing at the thought. Cute. Zoro has been called many things in his life, but cute was never one of them. His hand clenched and unclenched on the Wado Ichimonji as if asking - begging - what he should do. 
He couldn’t stay here much longer. Zoro didn’t know what to say and you obviously had no intention of speaking to him anytime soon. 
“Fuck this,” he whispered as he stalked off back out of the trees. 
He made it to the edge of the clearing where the sun fully broke free from the shade of leaves when you called to him. 
“Try not to get lost, Zoro. We both know you’ve got shit directional
skills.” 
He refused to admit he was happy to hear you say something. Even if that something was your usual shit-talking. Zoro grunted as a reply and quickly went back to walking out of the clearing when something - small and pure white - caught his eye out of his peripherals. 
It was huddled against the bark of a tree. Its petals were open and stark against the darkness. It took him a moment to recognize those white petals. What he found amusing was how the flower always seemed to be carrying its own weight on its shoulders; the neck of it dropping down like it’d just received devastating news. Zoro didn’t know why he gently plucked it from its resting spot. He couldn’t explain why after that he turned to head back in your direction. 
Zoro was trying to get away from you and here he was bringing a fucking flower back. You turned at his approach, your mouth already forming over some word. You never spoke what it was you wanted to say and you didn’t seem like you wanted to try either. 
Zoro placed the snowdrop behind your ear. Perfectly placing it to where the hanging bulb hugged the top of your ear to hang against your hair. 
“You left to go find flowers?”
Zoro shook his head. He stepped back just enough to see how it looked. He was a dumbass for doing this. 
“No, I was going to head back to the ship-“
“Figures-“
“When I saw this snowdrop by itself,” Zoro continued over you. “It made me think of you.”
“That feels oddly specific.”
He didn’t like how you were looking at him. More accurately, he didn’t like how you looking at him was making him feel. 
“It’s a snowdrop. They’re one of the most delicate flowers in the world.”
There it was. The darkening of those previous clouds now cracked to life with the spark of your anger. Zoro had to admit, he enjoyed getting you all riled up. What he wouldn’t tell you, is because they only grew at certain times and usually in the snow, it made them one of the most resilient flowers because they could grow under any conditions. 
“Are you calling me delicate?”
A huff left him as his eyes rolled up into the treeline. 
“I was trying to apologize earlier.”
“Oh.”
You’d started all that storm building just to deflate but also- 
“You sure have a way with words,” he teased. 
“My bedside manner is not the best, I’ll admit. I once told a dying man a joke about a pirate and marine having an entanglement. Naan said it probably wasn’t the most appropriate time.”
For some reason, Zoro could picture it. A man dying and you, being your nervous self, trying to make him laugh to ease his passing. The thought of it alone made a smile curl at his lips, and he tried to gently shake it away. To look at anything else but you. 
“What do I gotta do to hear one of these world-famous Doc jokes?”
He waited until his face was neutral to look back at you. Both hands rested on his swords as he watched you fill the bottle to the brim and place it securely inside your satchel. 
“For that kind of service? You have to be dying.”
“You’re a real pain in the ass, you know that?”
You were a pain in the ass. A pain in his ass. From the moment he met you until now and probably would continue to be. A pain that made him think of things outside of his goal. You made him think past his promise. Who was he if he didn’t keep it? He should’ve never offered to train you or willingly spend more time with you. He was going to have to take it back. It didn’t matter if it hurt your feelings or made you hate him. Maybe that’s what he needed to do to make you hate him-
“What are you doing?”
Zoro prayed that his face was devoid of any emotion. The panic that bloomed in his chest didn’t spread to where you could see. You’d placed your hand over your chest in a way Zoro knew too well. 
“I,” it was the first time Zoro ever heard your full name. “Promise to be the biggest pain in your - Roronoa Zoro’s ass - from now until whenever.”
For the second time, his hand was clutching onto the Wado Ichimonji today. While you spoke, Zoro could swear he saw flashes of Kuina standing behind you. The look of disappointment growing on her face. 
“You made a promise.”
Zoro couldn’t bring himself to speak. He couldn’t trust what he would say. So, he simply turned back on his heel and made a beeline back for the edge of the trees. This time when he reached it he didn’t stop. He had to get back to the safety of the ship where he could barricade himself from you behind wooden doors and booze because Zoro could really use a drink.
————————-
It has been two days inside the fog. Two days of Zoro avoiding you like you carried the plague back with you from Irkhaven. 
When you’d made that promise it was only meant to be good fun. You replayed over in your mind to see if you’d said something wrong - done something wrong to warrant the sudden extreme cold shoulder. 
Besides the time you’d been with Nami and Usopp, all of you shared thoughts about the naval battle that had happened and, who could forget, his very real vice-admiral of a grandpa. Who could launch cannonballs like paperweights. After that, Zoro didn’t come around you or close to you.
Sure, you would see him when he lounged on the deck napping like a cat in open spots. Hell, if Zoro wasn’t sleeping he was either drinking or training. You’d catch glimpses of him on the upper deck lifting weights with his arms and, sometimes, his mouth. 
The first time you saw him lifting eighty pounds with his teeth, you had about a thousand questions racing through your mind. If you thought he would answer you if you spoke, you might have asked him. 
You weren’t sure why it bothered you so much. It shouldn’t have even mattered whether he talked to you or not, but he’d offered to train you. Why bother asking to do something that required his time if he wasn’t willing to give it? These sorts of questions had been your own personal plague since he’d begun to give you the cold shoulder. 
You’d been sitting with your legs hanging out of the side of where the cannonball had blown an unfortunate hole through the Merry’s railing. It killed you to see her so broken; her intricate leafling design ruined all because of what felt like a family spat. Letting out a sigh, you pulled your legs out from over the side with a hand holding onto the rail so you didn’t fall into the sea. 
Once you were securely standing without fear of going overboard, you wrapped the leather cord that secured the pages of your journal around it. You were just finishing up tucking it in when Usopp began to shout, “I see something.” 
How anyone could see anything in this mess was beyond you, but then again Luffy was at the front of the Merry using his nose to guide you guys out of the fog so…yeah. Stranger things could and did happen. 
It was enough to garner your attention and bring you walking up to join the rest of the crew that had assembled. 
“I see nothing,” you stated. 
“I don’t know how anyone could see anything in this soup,” Nami agreed as she stirred the ship in the direction Luffy called. 
“You guys don’t see the red lights? How can you not see them?”
“Because, Usopp, I don't have eyes like an Eagle.”
You could feel the happiness your comment brought him as he continued to point in the direction of said light.
“Just keep your eyes posted right here in the center and you’ll see it, Doc. 
“3 degrees starboard, Nami and keep it straight.”
“I really wish you wouldn’t sit up there Luffy,” you called up to where he sat, legs wide, on the Merry’s headpiece. “What happens if you slip?”
“You're his crew mate. Not his mother. He doesn’t need you coddling him.”
You turned to find Zoro standing a few feet behind Usopp. He wasn’t looking at you but he’d just spoken to you. His first words in two days and it didn’t surprise you in the least they were his usual asshole tone. 
“Oh, so he can speak. What a shocker.” 
Zoro side-eyed you but still refused to acknowledge your presence. The soft bruise that was there two days ago at Irkhaven was all but a faded memory. You were tempted to make it a fresh one. 
“Okay you two let’s focus on-“ Usopp stopped mid-sentence as his eyes scanned over something in the distance. “What’s a baratie?”
You looked where he was and finally saw it. Red neon was bleeding its way into the fog. It was enough to make you forget about Zoro, your lack of clean clothes, or what had happened the last couple of days. It was land. You were finally going to actually put your feet down on something solid that wasn’t just the Merry. 
Nami stirred the Merry in and easily parked it at the next available dock. Immediately, people rushed out to begin tying the ship's ropes to posts to secure it in place. 
“Is it just me or does this look like a restaurant?” 
You meant your question to be open-ended. To allow anyone to answer in case what you were seeing was in fact a floating restaurant in the middle of the ocean. However, you were leaning against the rail next to Nami, with whom you pressed arm and arm. 
“I think it is.”
You were all still staring over the railing when Luffy asked excitedly, “Do you guys know what this means?”
“We stock up on supplies and keep going so the marines can’t find us?”
“We head back to Syrup village where it’s safe?”
“No - let’s go eat!”
You felt the blood drain from your face. You didn’t have much in the way of something to wear at an establishment like this. You were willing to bet you couldn’t just walk in wearing - or smelling - like you all did. You were getting ready to tell Luffy you’d hang back on the ship when you felt a hand gently wrap itself in yours. 
Glancing down at your interwoven hands and back up, you found Nami, her lips together in a soft smile, as she gave you a light tug to follow her. 
“Come on. You can borrow some of my clothes.”
You let out a raspberry, your hand squeezing hers briefly in relief. 
“Nami, you are a lifesaver.”
“That fish better have a bar.”
You weren’t going to say it out loud, but you agreed with Zoro. You were going to need the blissful ignorance of alcohol to make it through a dinner where you possibly ended up sitting next to him. 
---------------
As always, thank you so much for reading. Comments and reblogs are welcome.
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whatsk-poppinhomies · 11 months
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Pairing : Banchan x F!Reader & Jisung x F!Reader TW : Bangchans : pregnancy ; morning sickness ; general angst ;. Jisungs : menstrual cycles ; really bad period cramps ; Han being an asshole ;. BOTH : FLUFF AT THE END I SWEAR!! Word Count : Bangchan (2.1k) Han (2.2k) TOTAL : 4.3k Request : This is so heavily requested!! I'm sorry for keeping everyone waiting!! Chan's specific theme was requested so I'm fulfilling that one right now with this! I will do the other members as well, I'll get to them, I promise!!
Bangchan
Nausea was usually something that you were able to overcome quite quickly, you’d just drink a little bit of water and lay down until the feeling subsided. It wasn’t something that would keep you from doing the chores that you promised Chan that you’d do, it definitely would never stop you from making sure dinner was ready for when he came back from the office. Chan worked hard, and although he always told you that you didn’t have to do all that you did while he was gone, you thought that it was the least you could do. 
Today in particular was by far the worst day, and your attempt at swallowing back the bile in your throat as you normally would when you’d start getting that queasy feeling in your stomach was proven pointless. It was a miracle that you were even able to make it to the bathroom in time to lean over the toilet, your throat burning from the acids that came up from your empty stomach as you heaved over the seat. 
Throwing up was awful, but throwing up literal bile was the worst. Your head was spinning and your stomach felt way too tight from the constant retching, the feeling almost making you throw up again. The taste in your mouth was just as bad, and you pushed yourself up off the floor to drink the water from the faucet out of the palm of your hands. Beads of sweat clung to your forehead and you felt absolutely exhausted just from the physical exertion it took to throw up. A quick nap wouldn’t be bad, you’d wake up before Chan got home and you’d have everything done by the time he got through the door. At least, that’s how you planned on things going this evening. 
Of course he didn’t expect everything to be done for him when he came home from work, he didn’t start dating you so that you could be a maid and a chef for him, he genuinely just loved being with you. That didn’t mean that he didn’t appreciate it though, and some nights he’d even look forward to it, especially on nights like tonight. The new song he was working on just didn’t seem to line up right, he couldn’t find any source of motivation, he had been at work for hours but he hadn’t gotten anything done. He was annoyed, he was upset with himself, he was hungry, and he was tired. 
“Babe, I’m home.” He called out, kicking his shoes off after walking through the front door, his eyes finally glancing up and looking around when he realized just how quiet it was. Not just that, but the smell of dinner wasn’t wafting through the house… There was no smell at all, which was strange. Your shoes were still in the doorway, perfectly straight right next to his. Maybe it’s just because he was running a little late and you didn’t want to make dinner too early… You must be in the bathroom or something. 
He continued in through the house, making his way to the bedroom and slowly opening it. Now, deep down he knew that he shouldn’t be mad, you were his girlfriend, not his servant, but something about the sight of you curled up underneath the blanket, surrounded by toppled over laundry piles… It was infuriating. You really just decided halfway through that you didn’t want to do it and you just… took a nap. 
“Must be nice…” He said, just loud enough to stir you from your sleep, your eyes slowly opening before repeatedly blinking to get the sleep out of them. “Look who finally woke up? Did you have a nice nap?” You quickly jolted up, rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands before looking around, your mouth falling open into a small ‘o’ when you saw him standing there. “Was one basket of laundry too much for you? Huh?” 
You scanned over the piles of laundry, whispering out a curse before scooting across the bed towards them, trying to refold and situate them as quickly as possible. “I’m sorry, I just wasn’t feeling well. My stomach’s been acting up lately… I don’t know what’s wrong.” You murmured, grabbing out balls of clothes that were still tangled up in the basket. “I’m thinking… Maybe-” 
“Maybe it’s because you’re lazy?” He cut you off, and your head whipped up fast to look at him wide eyed. “I mean, good god, who falls asleep while folding one basket of laundry?” His head shook as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “You know what, just go back to sleep. Clearly you can’t even do the simplest of things.” 
“N-No, it’s…” Tears were already stinging at your eyes as you rushed to fold the clothes in front of you. “I just don’t feel good… I don’t know what’s going on… I…” The heavy breathing was causing you to get nauseous again, the feeling of being attacked by him for something that both he and you didn’t even understand. He didn’t even know what was going on, he was never home, and now he was coming down on you. 
He yanked the shirt out of your hand, throwing it back into the basket before picking it up off the floor and carrying it to the door. “You think I don’t get sick? I still have to work. You’re just being ridiculous.” He mumbled, dropping the basket on the floor right outside the door. “It’s whatever though, just go do what you do best. I guess I’ll make dinner tonight after working all day too. Fucking fantastic.” He kicked the basket across the hallway before stepping out and slamming the door behind him. 
The sound of kitchen utensils being slammed against the counter and the fridge being opened and shut forcefully could be heard throughout the house, the constant loud noises causing you to jump, and you wouldn’t have been able to fall asleep even if you wanted to. You didn’t want to though, you wanted to talk to him because whatever was going on was starting to scare you. You had never been this sick for this long, and you didn’t have any other symptoms, it was just the random bouts of nausea. 
Suddenly the smell of ramen was filling the air, and you would usually love the smell of it, but right now it had your stomach turning as every single scent of the different spices filled your nose. “Chan…” You groaned, kicking the blankets off of yourself and heading out of the room. The smell hit you harder now and you covered your mouth and your nose, gagging silently as you moved into the kitchen and turned off the burner much to Chans surprise. 
“The hell are you doing?” He muttered, lightly swatting your hand away to turn it back on, and now just the sight of the red broth boiling in the pot had you retching. “What’s your problem?” He grumbled, moving you to the side as he stirred the contents in the pot, and you couldn’t hold it in anymore, leaning over the sink and throwing up, the force behind it sending the bile shooting out of your nose. “Hey! Hey what’s… hey!” He shouted, turning off the burner once more and standing behind you, holding your hair away from your face with one hand as he rubbed your back. 
“Fuck…” You sighed, turning on the spicket and washing out your mouth before grabbing a napkin to blow your nose. “I think I’m dying…” You whispered, a shudder running through you as you dropped down to the floor, leaning your forehead against the cold metal of the dishwasher. Your entire face was covered in sweat and you could barely catch your breath, that alone scaring you even more and causing you to breathe even heavier. 
“C-Calm down, it’s going to be okay.” Chan said, dropping to his knees in front of you, his hands firmly cupping your cheeks to look at you. “How long have you been sick like this?” He asked frantically, his thumb quickly wiping the tears from your cheeks. Your shoulders shrugged as you mumbled out a soft “a while” in response. “Jesus Christ… okay. We’re going to the hospital.” 
You laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, hating the fact that you were there but thankful for the lack of IVs. The doctor had taken a couple blood samples and those were the only needles that you had needed for the time being. Now you just wanted to relax, and as tired as you felt, the words that Chan had said earlier had you keeping your eyes open. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were feeling this way? Hmm? You told the doctor it’s been going on for a month and a half almost… How could you not tell me?” 
“You’re always at the office… you’re always working…” You muttered, balling up the blanket in your hands. “I don’t like bothering you while you’re working. You’ve got more important things to do than dealing with me.” You sniffled softly, quickly rolling over onto your side to face away from him, tears trickling down from the corner of your eyes. 
“What are you talking about? You’re extremely important to me, babe.” He cooed, not even bothering to try to roll you back over to face him, instead scooting the rolling chair around to the other side of the bed so he could see you. “All you have to do is call and I’ll come to you, I love you…” 
Your lips pulled together into a thin line as you looked past him. “I should have just laid in bed… went back to sleep and died. It’s what I do best…” He sighed heavily, knowing that those words were only in your head because of what hr had said earlier. He already felt awful about saying them, but now seeing you here like this, he felt even worse. 
“I don’t want you to do that… I want you to be here with me forever…” He whispered, reaching out to caress your cheek, his touch feather light against your clammy skin. “I’m sorry I spoke to you that way earlier… But once we find out what’s wrong and when you get better, I’ll make it up to you. Okay? I promise.” 
The knock at the door came and the doctor peaked in, a wide smile on her face as she waved to both you and Chan. It was a strange expression considering you literally thought you were on the brink of death, maybe she was just trying to lighten the mood before delivering the news. “So the results came back.” Chan nodded his head, his breaths becoming quicker as he waited for her to continue, clearly impatient. “Congratulations. You’re pregnant.” 
You blinked a few times, your mind struggling to process the information that was just given to you. Chan was also shocked into a state of silence as he stared at the doctor who was still smiling just as bright. “A baby… Is making her feel like this?” He questioned, and she simply nodded, walking closer to the bed and pulling a sheet of paper off the clipboard she was carrying, the words morning sickness printed in bold letters across the top and underneath a lengthy article about it. “Well… how… how far along is she? Why is she throwing up so much?” 
The doctor giggled lightly as she slipped the clipboard under her arm. “She’s about 4 months right now. Morning sickness can come at any time and it can be just nausea, or it can be actually getting ill. It depends on the person. I’d recommend setting up an appointment with your OBGYN as soon as possible though, just to get you in the system.” She nodded her head, backing up towards the door. “Congratulations again. Whenever you’re ready, you can head on out and sign the release forms at the front desk.” 
Once she was gone, Chan swiveled the chair back in your direction, still slack jawed at the unexpected diagnosis. “Well… You’re not dying, so that’s good…” He said softly, and then, as if the news had fully processed in his mind, his lips slowly pulled up at the corners, his hand holding onto yours as his thumb brushed along your knuckles. “I know this is unexpected… But I know we can do this… I love you, I know already that I want to have a family with you… and there’s nothing wrong with starting a little bit early…” He chuckled softly, standing up and helping you to your feet. “We’re going to be fine. Let’s get home and relax though, take a nap, I think you’ve earned one.”  going to be right here with you the whole time.”
Jisung
“Pookie butt!!” Jisung called from the living room while you were in the bathroom, waiting for you to come out before he continued. He was standing in the doorway, pulling on his shoes, waiting for you to come out to say goodbye to him. Once you emerged from the hallway and ran over to him, his arms were immediately around your hips, his face nuzzling into your neck. “I’m gonna be sleeping at the dorms tonight, I’ll be working late and I know you hate when I come in at weird hours, you get all panicky and scared.” 
“I do not!” You retorted, pushing back against his chest lightly as you looked up at him, but the smile he was wearing never failed to soften you up immediately. His laughter had you giggling along with him, burying your face in his chest as his hands lightly squeezed your sides. 
“Don’t pretend like you didn’t come at me swinging a baseball bat one night because I came in at 3 in the morning. You almost killed me, pookie poo.” He teased, and you couldn’t even deny it because it was the truth, and while you had apologized profusely for it for an entire month, now you were able to laugh about it with him. “You gonna be okay though? You gonna be able to sleep without the best boyfriend in the world laying beside you? Hmm? Can you do that? Do you need me to come home tonight?” 
“I think I’ll manage.” You said between little fits of laughter, grabbing his jacket from off the hook and handing it to him before pressing a quick kiss to his lips, the one thing that would certainly keep him from teasing you for at least the next 30 seconds. “What time do you think you’ll be back home though? I’m gonna run to the grocery store and get some of your favorite snacks, nothing but the best for my hard working man.” 
His cheeks flushed a light shade of pink at your words, and he quickly kissed you again to try to distract you from noticing it. “This is why you’re the best girlfriend, best pookie poo, my one and only schmookem boops.” He nuzzled his nose against yours, clearly procrastinating, he hated having to leave you, especially if it was over night. “I’ll try to be back by the evening. We can eat some ramen and watch movies, hmm?” You nodded your head in agreement as you opened the door for him, giving him one last kiss before saying goodbye. 
That night you had started your period, and you had fallen asleep with your fingers crossed that the cramps wouldn’t be as bad as they usually were when you woke up. Of course, you weren’t that lucky, and when you did wake up in the morning, it was like your cramps were your personal alarm clock. You could barely even roll over to get out of the bed, and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to walk, let alone walk through the grocery store. 
You hated getting your period, it was a pain in the ass in every single way, shape, and form. It had completely slipped your mind that you were due for it, and you didn’t have any pain medication to even slightly reduce the pain from your cramps. You were practically bed ridden, curled up in the fetal position under the blankets, your breaths labored as you tried to get through each one that came so frequently that you weren’t even able to get a break. 
Just the simple task of getting up to get a drink of water left you doubled over in the middle of the kitchen, eyes squeezed shut as you tried to breathe your way through it just to get to the couch. Tears pricked your eyes as every minute your stomach would tighten up and your back would ache and you’d try your best to maneuver into a more comfortable position, but it seemed that there was no way that you could lay to rid yourself of the pain. 
You had tried to call Jisung, but his phone went to voicemail each time, clearly busy with work and you didn’t want to keep bothering him. You hoped that at some point he’d just call you back before he got home and you could tell him what was going on and ask him to bring you some ibuprofen. The only thing you could do at this point was try to sleep through the pain. 
When the door unlocked, you slowly opened your eyes, smiling up to Jisung as he walked through the front door, kicking off his shoes and going over to you. “Looks like you’re already ready for movie night. I’ll just get the snacks, you stay comfy.” He made little finger guns as he made his way to the kitchen, the sound of cabinets opening and closing as he searched, and if he had answered the phone he would know what was going on, but you didn’t expect him to be so upset about the lack of snacks either. “Where are they?” He called from the kitchen, and you slowly sat up on the couch, looking over the back of it to see him. 
“I didn’t get to go to the store today.” You said, the bright fluorescent bulbs that hung in the kitchen burning your eyes as they glowed behind him, so you quickly laid back down, keeping your eyes shut to try to fight off the headache that threatened to come. “I’m sorry… I just… I’ve been cramping and my head hurts so bad… I couldn’t make it to the store.” 
“Really?” He posed the question, and you thought that for a second he would show some sort of concern like he usually would, but instead he came back into the living room, standing over you as you laid curled up in the fetal position on the sofa. “You really didn’t go to the store because of a couple cramps? There’s girl idols that literally do entire dance routines when they have their periods and you couldn’t walk? Boohoo. Come on, get up. Let’s get the snacks.” 
He reached out to grab your hand, but you quickly pulled it away, your eyes opening just enough to glare at him. You weren’t used to him being so insensitive, and maybe he had a bad day at work, maybe he couldn’t sleep well last night, but whatever the reason, he had no right to practically insult you for not feeling well. “No. I’m in pain, and if you want to go get your fucking snacks so bad, then go get them… But you can go right back to the fucking dorms when you’re done shopping.” You snapped, pulling the blanket up around your face and closing your eyes. 
“Fine!” He retorted loudly, his hands flying up in the air with annoyance as he walked away from you. “But I’m getting really fucking tired of you using your period cramps as a reason to get out of doing literally anything. It isn’t even that bad.” It was like he was trying to piss you off, and it was working really well. He didn’t know shit about the way you were feeling, and for him to assume that you were acting just to get out of going grocery shopping was infuriating. 
“Would you just get the fuck out already?!” You shouted, only for your words to be followed by the door slamming shut, your headache only worsened by the sound of it. You hadn’t even gotten your medicine, and now you were alone once again, and the cramps were only getting worse, and now you were in pain and upset. 
“Weren’t you literally just back home?” Bangchan questioned when Jisung walked through the front door, and he could only assume that the oldest was talking about the fact that he hadn’t even been gone for more than an hour, and when he had left he had excitedly announced that he was having movie night with you. “Did you get Y/N the medicine she needed? She sounded really bad over the phone…” 
Jisung stopped in his tracks on his way to his own room, turning to look back at Chan. “What are you talking about? She called you?” He inquired, slowly walking over to the couch where Chan was sitting. “What did she say?” Obviously he was worried about you, and the only reason he didn’t run back into the house and apologize was because he was embarrassed. He felt like shit for going off on you, and he knew that you’d both need a bit to cool down. 
“She called Minho, asked him to bring her some Tylenol or something. She was crying… He felt really bad so he already left.” Chan explained, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Jisung. “What did you do?” He could read Hans face clearly, and while he wasn’t one to be nosy, he did want to make sure that nothing too serious had happened. You made Jisung happier than anyone else ever could, and he didn’t want that to be ruined for his friend over something small. 
“M-Minho?” Jisung stammered out the name, his hands running through his hair as he grew even more anxious. “Why would he go? That’s… That’s not his place… H-He can’t do that.” He was becoming frantic as his fingers continued to run across his scalp, becoming tangled in the strands that got knotted. “And she was crying?!” 
Bangchan nodded slowly, knowing that nothing he said or did would be able to calm him down now that Jisung was like this. He was practically spiraling and the only thing he could even attempt to do was tell him that it would be okay, although he was sure he wouldn’t believe him. “Look, if you’re so worried, then just go-“ But he didn’t even get the chance to finish the sentence before Jisung was rushing out the door, his shoes barely even on as he hopped on one foot down the hallway to get to the elevator. 
Although he knew that Minho meant well by going there to help you, it felt like he had crossed a line that no friend should ever cross. Going over to his house with his girlfriend when he wasn’t there. It was uncalled for, and even if you had called Minho to get you some medicine, Minho should have contacted him first. It shouldn’t matter that he walked out the door on bad terms, at the end of the day you were still his girlfriend. 
He rushed through the front door and he didn’t know how to feel, seeing Minho sitting on the couch with you had anger rushing through his veins, but it’s not like the two of you were cuddled up or anything, you were on completely opposite sides of the sofa. “Was waiting for you to come.” Minho teased, turning his head as far as he could to look at Jisung who stood like a statue in the doorway. 
He completely ignored the older member, moving to squat down in front of you, his hands grabbing yours tightly as he looked up at you with glassy eyes and dampened cheeks. “Why wouldn’t you call me? Why did you call him? Are you going to leave me? I’m so sorry, baby… I didn’t mean what I said… Don’t leave me…” 
Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him, lifting your intertwined hands to brush the tears from his cheeks. “You were mad… we were mad at each other when you walked out… I didn’t think you’d come rushing back to bring me the medicine. That’s why I called him…” You chewed on your bottom lip as you watched his eyes grow wider, almost like a puppy who was just told they were misbehaving. 
“I was a big dummy… I know how bad your cramps get, I was being an ass. I shouldn’t have compared you to anyone because you’re just… you’re amazing and beautiful and there’s no one else in the world like you.” He kissed along your knuckles before brushing his thumb against them, giving you a sad smile. “Will you ever forgive me pookie schmooks?” 
A sound of disgust came from Minho as he quickly got up from the couch, his face perfectly expressing how he felt. “You two are the cringiest people I’ve ever seen in my life and I’m leaving. Get well, Y/N. Goodbye weirdo.” He said to both you and Jisung, practically running to the door as if he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. His reaction was just the icebreaker the two of you needed to get over the awkwardness that was felt. 
“Did you… Get your snacks?” You asked nervously, keeping your eyes down, wondering if he’d act out again just from the snacks being brought up, but his head shook in response before it was laid against your lap. “Do you want me to go get them? I think the pill is starting to kick in…” 
“Mm… no.” He hummed, his smile growing wider as he looked up at you. “I just want to cuddle with you and make sure you feel good and stay feeling good.. We can order in tonight… I just want to stay with you.”
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