#nct sceanrios

[rosietaeyongswife]

send my love | mark lee

SEND MY LOVE PARING: mark lee x reader GENRE: angst, established relationship, break up WC: 6k SUMMARY: high school gave you a lot of opportunities to meet a lot of people and one of them was your beloved boyfriend. mark never failed you make you laugh or smile. he was your sunshine in life who leads you happily through it. but years passed and both of you were stuck as boyfriend-girlfriend while all your old high school friends were now about to get married. mark promised you marriage and wedding ring one day. as days passed you knew it was a lie and mark’s inmaturity made you go mad everytime you were talking. TW: alcohol consumption, cursing, gaslighting, mentions of sex, abortion READ HERE 

“mark.” browned haired gut was too busy to notice you. “mark lee.”

“what?” he didn’t even look at you. “i can’t right now. i am playing.”

“you’ve been playing for six hours now. can you help me with our place? it’s so dirty and we don’t have anything for dinner.”

“i can’t now. give me ten minutes babe.”

  mark was still playing overwatch like his life depends on it. headshet on his head and pc on was your view of him for past few years. you could hear haechan’s voice through the headphones your boyfriend had on. sigh was all you could do because mark won’t help you at all. as always.

   thing with mark lee was that he could play all day long. he could ignore you. he wouldn’t help you that much as you expected. while moving on together, you were excited for new adventure in your life because starting adults life with your lover is something everyone expect in their life at some point. well, no one told you how hard life living with man is. mark doesn’t understand he needs to help you in regular chores or basic life skills. whatever you told him to do, he end up messing it up because none of his parents ever cared to teach him basic chores because he was a “boy”.

  mark lee also didn’t want to think about adult life for real. he didn’t understand money or saving money. new game? he bought it. new pc’s set? bought. both of you couldn’t let yourselfs for such a treats since he works in office not at well paid place and you are teacher in kindergarten. some furnitures in your flat are broken but mark never tried to fix them or tried to call a service.

“and i am done with a game. what should i do?” mark walked over to you while hugging you from the back. “i can do whatever you want.”

“i did it myself.” you rolled yor eyes. “we don’t have dinner so you can go for a chicken for us tonight.”

“got it babe.”

  five minutes. ten minutes. fiveteen minutes. twenty minutes. an hour.

  an hour passed since mark went for your dinner and you were growing inpatient since you were mad hungry. your boyfriend didn’t answer your calls and you was already bothered because something might happened. last thing possible to do was to call one of his friends.

“haechan? do you know maybe where’s mark?”

“oh hey y/n. yeah, he is here and play with me and jeno.” he laughed. “why?”

“are you kidding me? can you pass me to him?”

“sure.”

“mark, what the actual fuck are you doing at haechan’s?”

“shit.” he stood up with phone in his hand. “my bad, i forgot. fuck, i’ll be home in a few just wait.”

  your boyfriend was hanging out with his friends while you were starving in your house worried about him.

“don’t fuckin come home tonight. stay with them and play your dumb ass games.”

  you hung up on him and sighed. while mark choose to ignore it and do as you said, you ordered some chicken to your place and wanted to burst out crying. such a small things like that made you sick to your stomach because you knew you can never count on mark. whenever somethings happened he’s never there or let you down with littiest things ever. even once he forgot to pick you up from daegu and you had to wait three hours on a staion for a train. 

  but back in your high school times mark was the prettiest, the most talented and the nicest guy ever. everyone literally loved mark lee from year ‘99. mark was always the purest soul and even teacher setted him as a good example of a student and a child. parents of all years knew about him and compared their kids to him. he also was innocent person and love was so new and weird to him no one was surprised until.. until he saw you during your class preentation on a big day at school. you were so pretty and the way you talked to your teammates was amazing. jeno and jaemin made fun of him for a long time because whenever they talked about fameous y/n, he would blush as crazy. second time you impressed him was during school’s sports day. you were leader of volleyball team with your grade and you won. also, jury gave you mvp award since you was so good. the way you were humble about it and had never made big deal out of it made mark lee fall crazy in love with you. 

  let’s say haechan helped him be ready to meet you. and yes, he kinda made fool of himself since he was stuttering a lot and told you awkward compliments but it didn’t matter. you also liked mark. he was your crush ever since you started school. perfect match for both of you.

“honey, please don’t be mad at me.” mark was trying to unlock the lock of your bedroom’s door. “please. i know i fucked up but you didn’t have to get me out of the house.”

“are you even surprised?” you hissed. “you do nothing here. always let me down with everything and you still have issues with me?”

“well, maybe you just overreacting? i pay most of the bills here and work my ass of for both of us and you are mad because i didn’t help you clean?”

  it was whole mark lee. he had never admitted when he was wrong. never take resposability.

“it’s not about just cleaning! it’s about overall.”

“just let me in.”

  tired of his loudness, you opened the door and you were met with his puppy eyes which always made you give in. 

“i’m too tired to talk with you. i have to go to work.”

“wait. you still have an hour to go.”

“so what?” you demanded. “we can talk later unless we will talk at all.”

“ok, i am sorry.” mark muttered. “i shouldn’t leave you yesterday. haechan just called while i was near the restaurant and i have told him i can’t but he have kept going. my bad.”

“so it was haechan’s fault?”

“kinda.” mark hugg you. “i am sorry, i’ll never do it again. let’s just forget and live peacfuly, alright?”

  the way he was looking at you with his eyes you couldn’t do nothing else but agree. 

“sure. but don’t do it again.” you hugged him back. “and help me more.”

“yes sir.”

  tons of kiss lend on your neck, collarbones, chest and tummy. all your arguments always ended up with make up sex. no matter what sex was only thing mark has never missed or fucked up which sometimes made you overthink. was he using you? why he won’t do anything you asked but that? does he even love you?

“do you want me to drive you?”

“yes, please.”

  while driving mark told you a lot of funny stories he had ever experienced with his friends and you were laughing and crying because of how funny they were. mark lee never fails to make you laugh. that was one of the things why you loved him. 

  as soon as mark found place to park at parking lot in front of building of kindergarten he couldn’t help but stare at children going and running around with their parents chasing them and trying to calm them down. 

“one day it will be us who would walk our kids to school, you know?”

  mark looked at you seriously and you could smile. you always knew he was good with kids and always wanted one but you weren’t really believing him. he was saying same thing for past six years of you dating. majority of your friends are married or have children. they found peace in life and are growing as people. but you? mark always feed you with sweet, little lies but never commit to them.

“aren’t you saying that all the time whenever some kid passes by?”

“i am for real. really.” he raised his eyebrows. “we will have amazing children. just imagine us on a date with kids by some lake. mini us running all around the place making mess.”

“hold up, let’s not get there.”you giggled at your boyfriend. “i need to go. bye.”

  children going around and screaming at the top of your lungs is something you get used to because past two years taught you everything you should know about kids. they were little devils well, not all of them but majority. children were also cruel to each other which made you shocked at first. they are scary but you have to get through it after all. being mom is also scary at that point.

“ya! park haesoo why did you hit her?” you were looking at little boy standing in front of you with big smile while little girl was crying. “can you answer?”

“she deserves that. dan is dumb.”

“you can’t hit other kids and call them names. it’s very bad and it’s not acceptable.” you hissed. “bow and apologize to her.”

“i don’t want to.”

“park haesoo, i will call your parents if you don’t apologize to dan. do you want to get minus points because of your bad behaviour? instead of ten you will lose twenty.”

“i am sorry dan.”

  little boy bowed down and walked away while dan was crying. you were little bit worried because she got hit on the face with plastic toy which causes a lot of pain. sometimes you wished you could punch some of the children here since their parents don’t care if their kids behave in a bad way. 

  while getting kids ready for lunch you felt sudden need to vommit. you run to the nearest toilet and threw up. you must eat something or you got food poisoning. some co-workers looked at you worried but you let them know it’s nothing serious.

“wait. park jisung got on his knees and he proposed to you?”

“yes! i can not believe my little jisung did that. i was so surprised i haven’t answered for two minutes and he almost take it as a no.” your friend giggled. “you don’t even know how happy i am to be his wife. i mean, fiance for now but still i am getting married.”

“when-”

“in a two months. jisung have talked with out parents and everyone agreed we want to do it as fast as it’s possible.”

“wow. congratulations for both of you! after four years of dating your boyfriend finally made a big step. i am so proud.” you hugged her. “i don’t know what else should i say. good luck! fighting!”

  deep inside you felt like a knife went down your spine and you were struggling to catch a break and felt betrayed. of course, marriage of your friend and mark’s friend was amazing but jisung was the youngest among mark’s squad. only mark, haechan and jeno are one without wives, children or fiance title. jeno was single most of the time, haechan is player and mark is.. mark. even jisung is going to get married. you wished it was you but it’s seems like mark isn’t ready for big step.

“believe me y/n, when i got to know jisung is going to propose to yuna i was like dude, what the fuck. aren’t you dating for four years, and he just nodded with a biggest smile i have ever seen. it’s so unreal our jisung is going to be husband soon.”

  mark was laughing while you were looking with empty gaze at the tv. grip on your tv remmote was only tightening with every more second of mark’s laugh.

“why is it funny to you? majority of our friends are married while we still stuck at that boyfriend-girlfriend stage for past six years, mark.” you sighed. “don’t you think it’s weird?”

“honey, i told you so many times our time will come.” mark laughed. “i can’t understand why you’re so obsessive about it. even if we would be together for ten years would it be wrong? not married at all?”

“i’m-”

“exactly. we will get married one day but not now. we still need time for us. for our youth. we have time y/n. don’t need to rush anything.”

  mark was right at some point but it was upsetting you. mark always do you like that, whenever you try to talk he will shut you up quickier than you have ever spoke. of course, you understood where he’s coming from but you were getting worried. whenever you saw relationship advicies and psychology, instagram posts about it, twitter and truth about relationships, youtube vlogs and damned tiktok where people explain it to young women. if after a long term relationship he hasn’t proposed yet - he doesn’t take you seriously. thoughts like that was bothering you to the maxium of your limit. 

“are you taking me seriously?” mark almost popped his eyes. “us? that whole relationship? i am asking you for real so be honest with me. i want to know the truth.”

“y/n, i love you truly. i have always loved you and i take you seriously. don’t start your paranoia because it’s really messed up. maybe you’re too stressed lately? you’re getting annoyed and mad at slightest of things.”

“mhm.”

  you didn’t have to answer mark because there was nothing else for you to say. but again, mark was right. you are getting worked up over smallest things lately. even too loud phone alarm is getting on your nevers to the point you almost crushed your phone few times. 

  at the night you woke up and run to the toilet because of sudden stomach pain and need to vommit again. mark got scared when you basically jumped out the bed and rushed to the toilet so he followed you just to find you on your knees by toilet. he got scared for a second.

“are you fine?”

  you had to take few breathes to answer him.

“yes, i mean i feel little bit sick. i suppose i got stomach poisoning.” mark hummed and got you towel. “you can go back and i will brush my teeth real quick.”

“i can wait for you.” you nodded and flushed the toilet. “are you sure it’s nothing serious? maybe take a day off?”

“i am.” you rolled your eyes. “i can’t take days off, mark.”

  mark nodded and watched you doing your thing. he was always worried about you no matter what so of course he was scared when you told him about food poisoning but if you let him know it’s nothing serious he stopped being overprotective and just got back to the bed together with you.

“i bought a new dollhouse.” small girl touched your hand. “do you want to see pictures? please.”

“of course, hana.” you smiled at her. “show me.”

  girl with two high ponytails goes up to you with biggest grin and pink phone showing you proudly her dollhouse her parents bought for her fourth birthday. it was pink and looked expensive but her parents were doctors so you weren’t surprised. the way she was talking about it made your day ten times better. some kids aren’t that scary.

“my mum promised me we will buy other accesories for it and few other dolls. would you like to see them once i get them?”

“yes! come here and showe me when you will have your dream toys, hana.”

  she ran off with little giggles. hana was one of the nicest kid here. she was one of the few who didn’t caused problems. 

  two weeks passed and you felt little bit worse. vommiting was something you had to get used to since every morning you have morning sickness. you haven’t told no one, not even mark knew because you were scared. everytime you woke up with urge to throw up, you get out the bed queitly and always close all the door for mark to not hear a sound. the worst thing was period getting late for far more than you expected. you totally forgot since you had a lot of work but as you’re looking at it you felt bad. 

“what are you saying?” yuna splited her coffee out. “i can not belive it. are you pregnant, girl?”

“i don’t know! lord, please don’t do me like that. i can not be, not now.” you held your hands like you were praying. “i am not ready, we are not ready.”

“have you taken a test?”

“no, i am too afraid to do it.” your voice was shaking. “what do i do if i am? i can not give a birth now, not when we and mark are on bad terms lately.”

  yuna was looking at you with sad smile. she knew about mark and every fight you had, and even tho she was going to marry his best friend she stated it to you - break up with mark lee. she was the one who was convincing you to break up because of all the shit he had done. mark was still a child and nothing is going to change that. yuna’s heart ached since she knew it and being pregnant only make things worse.

“let’s go. we are going to buy a test and we will find out, y/n.”

“yuna, i-”

“i said let’s go.”

  thirty minutes later after shopping at pharmacy and after buiying four different tests you were sitting in bathroom while yuna was in the living room waiting for you to come and announce the results. both of you were praying to god for best.

“yuna.” 

  your small voice made yuna get up from the chair she was sitting at and stare at you. you were holding all the tests in your hands and you were literally shaking.

“two lines.” she whispered. “fuck.”

“i’m going to cry.”

  you sat down on the couch while yuna was too busy thinking. 

“do you want that baby?” you wiped your tears with hand. “you said you’re not ready and don’t want a child for now. also, you said you’re young. do you want to keep the baby?”

  yuna’s question made you freeze. all the things she said was truth since you told her about it many times. 

“no! of course i don’t want to. it’s a mistake i can not have a baby right now.”

“i know place and very good and highly recommended healh clinic when you can have abortion done. we would have to go together to the doctor who would tell you everything and what month is it.” you were breathing harder. “if you’re sure as fuck, then you can get rid of it. i am sure it’s first months.”

“what about mark? should i tell him?” yuna was about to answer. “no. i won’t. he would make me keep the baby. it’s my body. can we get there as fast as possible?”

“my sister’s husband works there so he can make an appointment even today.”

“perfect.”

  yuna helped you get ready and your heart was beating while doing so. everything is a mess in your head and you can’t think straight. you were sure you don’t want a child but thing that was bothering you was mark. how is he going to react when you tell him?

  small clinic was fivteen kilometers away from your home. during ride to that place you were getting nervous. money? you had them enough for it. even if you will be starving for a months you are not changing your mind at all. your friend tried to support you as much as she could, she knows you well and for both of you it was the best decission you could ever had made.

“you’re one month pregnant y/n.” a guy with a beard smiled at you. “everything seems fine. we can do it even today if you’re sure. there would be 500$ for everything including pain killers. if you’re not ready we can find a date for you.”

“i am. i want to do it today, please.”

“sure. come with me, and your friend can wait here in waiting room.”

“you may kiss the bride.”

  everyone was screaming when yuna and jisung kissed in front of every guest invited to their wedding. jisung’s friends were laughing while yuna’s friends including you, were clapping the hardest they can. today is yuna’s day. your best friend is going to be wife and her relationship with jisung upgraded to another level.

   sadly, you couldn’t quite say the same about you and mark. instead of working out your relationship, everything got more complicated. none of you spoke to each other for days before one of you break the character and apologize first. mark was hanging out with his friends more frequently and everytime you bring this up he will find tons of excuses. 

“our little jisung got married!” haechan was screaming at top of his lungs. “i am so happy for you man. i didn’t know what should i say for speach today. i was looking for inspiration for the longest time ever. and guess what. i found ton of bullshit.” everyone laughed at him including you and mark. “i don’t wan to sugar talk to both of you. i want to say honest words i could ever think of. i have never ever expected our jisung to be married before me or mark. how did that happened? just few years ago you were a child and now you start your own family. treat yuna right or she and we will whoop your ass. as your hyung, i am proud of you. i am proud of person you became and how mature you are now. even if you’re married, don’t change too much and still be our jisungie.”

  guests were clapping at haechan’s speech. his words came right from his heart and everyone seemed to be touched by it since he is never serious. moment almost felt magical. few other people gave their speeches and after all they could finally dance. yuna looked the happiest ever and your heart was pounding by the view and you didn’t notice when tears of happines were going down your face.

“are you crying?” mark giggled and hug you. “our best friends got married. it’s fine to cry.”

“oh, shut up mark.” you hit him on the thigh. “yuna is married, i can not believe it. look at them, they’re so happy.”

“yes, they are.” he kissed your cheek. “do you think we will be that happy during our wedding?”

  question made you stare at the floor with teary eyes.

“propably yes. at least we should, mark.”

  mark didn’t have to answer you since you were too busy recording first dance on your phone while your boyfriend was talking with his friends. 

   already five hours passed and most of the guests also passed out because of alcohol since wedding was like a big party with relatives. few uncles of jisung and yuna asked you to dance which you agreed to and now your legs ached. aunts were ready to gossip about everyone and spilled some tea about family members. even “caitlyn”, rich yuna’s aunt was talking with you and gave you one of her purses since she had too much of them. mark was also talking with family members and was busy drinking with his friends.

“honey, can we go to the hotel?” mark was mumbling to your ear. “i am too drunk and it’s getting boring here. i have few ideas.”

“what ideas?” you raised an eyebrow. “i am not ready for any ideas.”

“trust me, y/n.”

  with that words everything happened as it usually does. kissing while on the way to the bedroom and that lead to another things. you haven’t planed to have sex tonight since abortion you was scared to do so.

“do you have condom?” you asked breaking the kiss.

“yes, here.”

   morning was pretty at the sunday. it was past ten already and mark was still sleeping and will propably wake up with hangover so you got medications and water for him ready. at least that’s what you could do to help him. hotel sent you some breakfast so you tried to wake up mark but he was too stubborn.

“not now, please.”

“mark, breakfast is ready. get your ass and let’s go eat.”

“i don’t want to-”

“what a baby.” you hissed and took duvet out of him. “you have one minute and i want to see you in the living room.”

  mark was literally big child. he had never matured and it was giving you hard time while dealing with him. you didn’t want much but for mark to focus on both of you. not on his friends or stupid games but you two. 

  at the same time you were anxious while around him. nor you or yuna have told anyone about events that happened two months before. first few days you just got up early and went straight to kindergarten even if you were first one to arrive. after week you could live peacful since you put your thoughts together but you can’t help but feel guilt. mark was father of the fetus you got rid of and at least he should know. he should yet you weren’t ready to tell him. majority of time it was mark who fucks up but that time it was you with much worse thing than he have ever done.

  you couldn’t just sit him down one day and tell him everything.

“oh my god, waffles!”

  mark excitment brought smile to your lips.

“yeah with maple syroup.”

“damn, i haven’t eaten waffles with syroup in ages. dude, it’s so good.”

  after breakfast you got your things and decided to go back home. yuna and jisung had to stay with their families and do other things so you went to say goodbye and went on a way back home which will take less than two hours.

  days went by and you were done with everything. work is getting worse since more and more children go to school and they are rude, mark is busy with boys and yuna is out with jisung for a long time. you basicaly left alone with your thoughts that are getting worse. more and more you think about relationship with mark and issues. including abortion you were nerve wrecking. all you could think was that and it drives you crazy. 

  loud smack woke you up in the night. you get out the bedroom just to see mark all shaking and with tears running down his pretty face. a lot of thoughs get to your mind expecting the worst.

“mark? what happened?” you came closer. “mark calm down.”

  mark was breathing hard and you tried yout best.

“i was with jeno and, and.” he had to take a breath. “with jeno and i, we-” he couldn’t get words out. “we were fighting. fighting with jeno.” he was mumbling. “i think i broke his nose. i, i don’t know..” 

“where’s jeno? what happened. mark you need to calm down and explain everything to me, alright?” 

“at his home. i am sorry i didn’t mean to punch him i-” tears were rolling down his cheek. “i was mad because he was braging about me and i, i had to.”

“oh mark.” you hugged him. “go take a shower, and try to relax. fights happen, it’s not a big deal but you didn’t have to punch him.” you looked at him. “let’s talk to jeno in the morning? both of you should talk about it like adults.”

“what if he is mad angry? i broke his nose, and i, i was mean.”

“mark, jeno and you are friends for the longest time ever. just trust me and do everything as i told you to.”

“thank you y/n. i love you.”

“love you too.”

  mark was gone in the bathroom while you were sitting down on your bed waiting for him. mark was never first to use violence since he was rather a calm person. you had no clue what did they talked about which caused mark to snap at his best friend. 

  few minutes passed and mark was next to you in the bed, holding you close to him making both of you warm with touch. 

   ever since jeno’s and mark’s fight everything seemed weird. mark was avoiding you clearly and it was making you overthink. did you do something to upset him? you couldn’t think of answers for that question but wonder what had happened. 

“mark, can you tell me what’s wrong?” mark passed by you. “stop. mind explaining what’s wrong? i am worried about you.”

“nothing’s wrong.” he didn’t even look at you. “i am tired.”

“mark lee, stop being a baby and tell me what’s going on. you avoide me for a week straight. i don’t reacall if i did something wrong. what happened?”

“i don’t want to talk right now. can’t we talk later?”

“no, we can’t. i want answers. ever since fight with jeno, you are acing different and i want to know what’s going on with my boyfriend.” 

  mark finally looked in your eyes.

“are you hiding something from me?” mark’s question made you shiver. “or you haven’t told me something? whatever.”

“no? what are you even talking about? i am always honest with you as you might notice. why you even asking that?”

“are you sure you haven’t told me anything important?”

  you felt like your tongue was cut and you couldn’t find any words.

“i am sure.”

  mark laughed at your response and shaked his head.

“you have a lot of nerv, y/n.” mark was looking at you with grin. “lying straight to my face and gaslighting me into thinking you’re always honest with me. stupid.”

“mark, what the fuck do you mean? i don’t understand what you want from me.”

“i want truth, honey!” he snapped at you. “i want to know why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant. i want to know why you kept it for yourself. why would you abort our baby without me knowing? what the fuck y/n!” he was screaming. “i love you, i really do but what you have done was so selfish and-” he took a breath. “and fucked up. i can’t believe i had to get to know from my friends and not from my own girlfriend.”

  your heart was aching because of your boyfriend’s words. he knows. he knows whole truth and you were sure yuna told everything jisung and he told the rest. mark was looking at you with disapointed gaze.

“because at the end of the day it’s my body. i don’t need your permission for it and besides that.” you looked up. “how would we manage raising a child? a human being? when we can’t even take good care of ourselfs. i don’t know why you’re so mad for it. you’re still an immature guy, mark. can’t you see it?” it was you who screamed now. “i am done with everything. you always find excuses for everything and blame everyone but you. always others had to fix mess you caused and usually it’s me! you cared more about your homies than me. i was there when you were at your worst but where were you when i needed you the most? nowhere to be found.”

“what the fuck? are you kidding me, y/n? now it’s my fault? i am immature? you fuckin killed our baby!”

“it was fetus!”

“it doesn’t fuckin matter. i had right to at least know maybe we would find solution? of course we would! yet you were selfish and did everything your way. look now, who’s immature?” he raised his eyebrows. “you. not my fault or yuna’s, but yours. it was yours choice not ours even tho it was our.. baby. i tried to support you as much as i can and you still tell me i wasn’t!”

“stop with that bullshit. you have never supported me. who helped me when i had gone through stress of work? when i had to go back to london to help my parents? when i was having breakdown due to work?” you were screaming at the top of your lung. “no one! you had never cared. it was only you and your friends. not me and you. you are holding me back, mark. i am running while you are trembling. we are on a different mentality levels, can’t you see?” you massaged your template. “i am ready and serious for a family but with you it’s impossible. look what i have done because of our relationship.”

“it wasn’t like that. my friends were with me and-”

“see? you do it again. excuses. not your fault, huh?” you mocked him. “i am done. our relationship for past few months only gave me headache and doubt. i was ready to commit and you just fool me with your lies. always tell me how you will marry me one day or about our chilldren. bullshit. if you wanted, you would.” mark was frozen on the spot. “you’re right with abortion. i should have let you know. my bad, really i regret that. but our relationship don’t have future. we aren’t kids no more, mark. we have to let go.”

  mark was looking at you with glossy eyes.

“are we breaking up?” you nodded. “wow, after all the things we’ve been through? we sacrificed so much for us to break up now. i love you so much y/n. maybe i was immature but that doesn’t change a thing. i still love you the same way i always did. we can’t end like this.”

“mark it’s too late now. i am ready to move on from us. i am ready to start new life without you in it. i have never imagined we wouldn’t made it to our plans but we have to do it now. we have to let go and start new chapter. withouth each other.”

“y/n, wait we can still think about it.” he was holding you close. “we can, we-” he was sobbing. “i don’t know go to therapy? we can find solution-”

“we can’t. i don’t want to share my life with you no more mark. we hold each other back and that’s the worst we can do to each other.” you pulled out. “please find a woman you will love and treat her better. send my love to her. i guess you need someone else. don’t fuck it up, mark lee.” you kissed him last time. “just know i loved you and you made me the happiest ever. i felt free and joyful with you. i still love you and i won’t forget about you easily.”

  mark could only look at you. that day mark lost love of his life due to his stupid actions. person mark loved the most just left.

  times passes by so fast no one notice. each day we grow and learn something new to us that made us smarter and better person. you were person who was learning a lot day by day and your life wasn’t mess anymore. ever since you and mark ended things between you two, you felt like a brand new person. weight of your shoulders was gone and you felt peacful with yourself after all the situations you’ve been through. 

  mark at the other hand couldn’t put himself together. all that time passed and he was stuck at that one moment and nothing could change that. friends, family or co-workers did their best but it doesn’t work. mark is still stuck in past with you. he misses you everyday and think only about you. it’s you who is stuck on his mind till today. mark didn’t find new lover. mark didn’t move on and wasn’t ready for it.

“mark?”

  voice so familiar, young male thought he was hallucinating when he heard it but as soon as he turned back, your face was smiling at him.

“y/n?”

“yup.”

  mark was quick to be in front of you. he felt like in a dream with you.

“what are you doing here?” he smiled. “oh my god.”

“i wanted to check on you since haechan told me you’re doing pretty bad.” he left out a giggle. “how do you feel, mark?”

“pretty bad. i can’t move on.”

“but you should.” worried face made him smile a little. “you can’t be stuck in a moment.”

“i can not let go. y/n you’re still only thing in my mind and all i can think about is you. a two months passed and i am still wondering about you. please, life’s so fucked when you’re not around. i’d do anything to have you back.”

[yutasbellybuttonpiercing]

Hellooo bestie ❤️❤️ I think it would be hilarious if u would write those “how would … react to …” things, like idk making it funny or maybe, depending on the situation, full on serious, just like idk a short paragraph or one sentence ^^

No pressure tho, you probably have a lot of ongoing works 🥰

Love u and ur fics (been rereading already) !!!!!

Hello to you too, my dear fan. I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying my works! <3

I took your ask very seriously, that's why I actually made another blog for this. Idk what to do with it yet, but I already posted something. Hope you'll laugh, or at least enjoy it? Maybe smile a little? A little giggle? Idk.

Here it is. Have fun with it!

Best wishes

Ybbp 🐀

[astroyongie]

Nct 127 reaction when you don't say I love you back please?

NCT 127 Reaction To You Not Saying “I Love You” Back

Taeil

The way it would hurt him, it’s not a little funny. To be honest he would care much about the reason why you aren’t saying that to him, he would be hurt and on his mind, he has nothing to do with your past since he is your present. Taeil really wouldn’t deal well if a person doesn’t say the words back to him

Johnny

He would pretend that he doesn’t care. Mostly because he has other things to care about but internally he is still trying to figure out why you should have done this to him. He would try to do things on another way to get you to say it

Taeyong

It’s really complicated, because Taeyong would be super empathic about the situation, he understands why you don’t want to say it, he respects. But internally he would be in inner turmoil, overthinking about everything and even lie to himself about the situation

Yuta

This boy doesn’t care if you don’t say it back to him. Now that might be surprising since Yuta is someone who needs a lot of emotional connection, however since he can feel it through other than words, he doesn’t need you to conform it for him. He gives you time

Doyoung

Another one that doesn’t care whether or not you say it back. He knows everyone has their own timing and he won’t be annoying about it. Doyoung has a hard time himself to be open so he wouldn’t ever judge you about this

Jaehyun

Jaehyun cannot say he loves someone already so you can bet he won’t give a damn if you say it back or not. Whatever you are feeling is up to you, he won’t be doing any argument or fighting you about it. He respects your choice and you will say it whenever you feel like it

Jungwoo

Jungwoo tries not to care much, tries not to give much thought about the whole thing because he knows love is a complicated thing. But he would try everything to make you say it so he doesn’t feel insecure about your relationship

Mark

It’s very complicated for Mark to deal with that because he is someone that controls a lot his feelings and his relationship. So his partner not saying it back will make him a little upset . Mark lacks understanding on this topics and he isn’t very patient

Haechan

He doesn’t really know how to feel about it because Heachan despite his impulsive self, is very understanding. However despite communication being important he might still think that you are hiding something or that you don’t love him

[neodreamzenie]

Mafia Member j.jh SERIES

Previous / Next

Mafia Member pt. 8

Wc: 0.6k Warnings: Main character on mission

You were in the car on your way to the club where Seventeen was supposed to meet tonight when suddenly Taeil spoke through his mic. "Okay, once you're there, find a parking lot, but don't leave the car for now. Once you see their van, make sure they're all in the club before you get out, okay?" "Yup!" As soon as you arrived and finished parking, you looked at every car that pulled into the lot so Taeil - through the camera in his earring - could tell you which one was Seventeen's van. After 20 minutes the van arrived at the club.

"That's them. I wrote down the license plate. When they're all at the club, go and put the tracker on their van." With that, you ran behind the van and fixed the tracker under the car. "Good job! Now come back home, Taeyong wants to talk to you about tomorrow's mission." So you drove back home and went straight to Taeyong's office.

"Well done Y/N, you're halfway through the mission. Now let's talk about tomorrow." Taeyong looked at Jaehyun, who then started to explain everything. "So Y/N, tomorrow you will drive to their house alone.§ He started to explain. "You will go to their file room, which is in the basement. The room will probably be locked with a password, which Taeil will find out. He will also turn off all CCTVs. Come back in the morning and we'll discuss the rest." "Understood?" Taeyong double checked. As always, you nodded and Taeyong let you go.

Jaehyun P.O.V

"Don't you think it's a bad idea to let her go alone?" I asked him, feeling somewhat bad about it. "I do have my doubts, but we have to see if she's really ready to do her missions alone. Otherwise we'll have to send her on her missions with the others soon." "You mean you're sort of testing herout?" "Basically, yes." "What if they catch her?" "Then we'll do whatever we can to get her back. She's still the only girl and I don't want Chenle to get mad if we won't find her." I just nodded, not wanting to question him further. With that, Taeyong let me go and I went to my room staring at the ceiling. Why do I have the feeling that something is going to go terribly wrong on this mission?

Y/n P.O.V

It was the next day and you went to Taeyong's office again. "We have the blueprints for Seventeen's house. I want you to take a good look at this and make a plan for getting in and out with no worries." You nodded, took the blueprints, and spent hours drawing up the plan until a knock on the door to your room snapped you out of my thoughts. "Hey Y/n, I wanted to wish you luck on the mission." You could feel how your cheeks warmed slightly and your ears tingled. "Do your best, yeah?" You just nodded again and an awkward silence came up, but Jaehyun broke it after a few seconds. "When you get ready, don't forget to visit Ten and Doyoung. They will give you all the equipment." "Okay, thanks Jaehyun." "No problem, bye." He left your room and you let out all the breath you didn't know you were holding.

You were now situated behind Seventeen's house and went to the back entrance which led to the basement and looked at the blueprints again. "Okay, the cameras are off. The password to the door is 1331." You were walking towards the file room when you heard footsteps, so you decided to hind behind a wall. "What happened to the cameras?" "I dunno, bro." You lost my balance and fell behind, the books on the wooden shelf hanging on the wall behind you knocked down. FUCK!

"What was that?" "It came from over there." You didn't know where they were pointing at, but you were sure they didn't have hearing problems. Would be unfavorable as a mafia member, right? "Y/N, RUN! SEARCH FOR AN EXIT!!" You ran but your damn shoes kept making loud noises. You knew you shouldn't have put on those shoes. You kept running and finally found an exit!

(1331 = 13 members, 3 units, 1 team)

[ncteaxhoe]

NOT MY VIDEO: CREDITS TO @/BUTTPLUGJOHNNY ON TWITTER

i am just a hallucination 

[neotan-astrology]

Jisung as Boyfriend

the laid back boyfriend

With Aquarius Sun and Venus won’t smother you but still make sure you know that you have him

values friends so much so will want to be your friend first before anything

will be your best friend

just rant to him about anything and he’ll have your back

wants a relationship where both of you are each others safe zone

no planned dates because he loves to come up with spontaneous ideas

riding bicycles together, stargazing, carnivals will be his kind of dates

relationship filled with a lot of surprises

just everyday with him will be something new and refreshing

he’ll like to discover new things with you

will try to play off his feelings coolly even though he his whipped

will get really shy when you compliment him

will love to talk to you about anything and everything

like 3 am talks about the existence of the universe

random ‘i love you’

loves to give you hugs specially back hugs!!

will tease you a lot!

will feel so proud whenever he makes you laugh

he has Aries Mars which makes him want a really passionate relationship

an all consuming love

a relationship where you both accept each other’s flaws

pretty straightforward in relationship if he likes you he will let you know

will want to do impulsive adventurous things together

rooftop dates

wants to live ‘in the moment’ with his partner

physical touch will be his love language

playful teasing

the kind to ‘fight’ to make a relationship work

[yoongsicles]

warning: almost cheating

wc: 1,673

genre: lil' fluff, angst

Track 2: One Last Time (Ten Lee)

Sometimes you still question yourself if choosing your modeling career was the right choice or even leaving your family just so you can go to Paris.

There's still a lot going on inside your mind to this day. Ever since you've been chosen to become one of the models in your agency to go to France, you have never been so happy in your life. It was a dream come true for you but being there made you realize how incomplete you are.

Sometimes you still question yourself if choosing your career over him was the right choice.

Him. Ten Lee.

You two were inseparable ever since elementary. He was there in your ups and downs, you were there when his parents got divorced. You were his first everything and he was yours.

For him, you were the love of his life, his everything. But that was before you broke his heart.

You are officially invited to Ten and Lisa's wedding.

You've read this countless times but it still hasn't sunk in. Lisa was your high school best friend. You knew from the beginning how he feels about Ten but since you were still his girlfriend back then, Lisa didn't have a choice but to accept the fact that you're his.

And now. They're about to get married.

"It's good to have you back here" your sister, Yeri held your hand while she's driving. She just picked you up from the airport.

You're still looking at the invitation when Yeri noticed you.

"You don't have to go, you know" she sighed still focused on the road. "I can't miss Lisa's big day," you said putting the invitation inside your purse.

"Don't you think it's kind of insensitive for her to send you an invitation?" she asked and added "Three years ago when she told you that she's dating Ten, that was foul. I mean you're her best friend and dating your ex is just" she sighed again.

"I have no control over their feelings, Yeri. All I have to do right now is to support them" you tried showing her a smile but failed.

It was exactly six years ago when you chose your career over Ten.

When you got to Paris, you still tried continuing your relationship with him but you weren't happy anymore. Long-distance doesn't work for you but for him everything was possible.

Until he was the only one left trying. Ten knows that you're about to give up but you already did.

Ten supported your career still even though in return, he'll lose you.

When Lisa told you that he was dating Ten two years after you broke up, that made you realize that breaking his heart was a mistake.

And now you're too late.

"We're here" you got back to your senses when the car stopped. Looking at your house, you can't express how happy you are now that you're finally home.

Two days after returning to Seoul, you and Yeri went to Lisa's bridal shower.

"Now you're nervous" Yeri teased you, "I told you this is not a good idea. What will happen to you at the actual wedding? Passed out?"

"I'm fine" you smiled at her. You saw Lisa entertaining her guests and took her a minute to saw you too.

"Oh my God, you're here!" she ran towards you giving you a hug "Hey," you said still hugging her "Six years, y/n. Six freaking years and the only thing that can get you back here is my wedding" Lisa squealed holding both of your hands.

"Well, I can't miss this," you tell her smiling. Yeri scoffed beside you giving Lisa a fake smile.

The night went well. You saw your high school batchmates, got to drink your favorite wine, and you also got to bond with your sister.

Lisa's bridal shower was about to end when you saw Ten entering the venue. You felt like everything stopped. Seeing him again after six years was overwhelming that you can't even think properly.

He went to greet Lisa and the other guests. "You're not supposed to be here! This is an all-girls party" you heard Lisa shooing Ten away but he just held Lisa's hand tighter "I'm here to pick you up. It's getting late" Ten replied.

You were waiting for him to notice you until he did.

"You never told me that Ten got way hotter now," you told Yeri still looking at Ten "Uhm because he's already your ex?" she answered.

"Y/n! Come!" Lisa called you but your feet were glued on the floor so Lisa decided to bring Ten and walked towards you.

Both of you and Ten had an awkward greeting but he made sure he's making you feel comfortable by having a proper conversation with you.

"I'm glad that you'd get to attend," he said. You don't know how to answer that so you just gave him a smile. Ten has known you enough that he can see the pain in your eyes.

He tried not to think about it but seeing you so beautiful tonight can't deny the fact that he missed you too. After all, you were his best friend.

On the way home, you don't even know if it's the alcohol that's making you sad or seeing Ten earlier. You still can't move on from how good he looked.

You still love him. You still do and it sucks.

The night before the wedding, you've decided to visit Ten in his apartment. You knew Lisa's not gonna be there because she's not allowed to be with his groom until the wedding.

Different emotions filling you up right now as you knocked on his door. Drinking too much will make a person too vulnerable and make you do something you'll regret the next day.

And here you are at his doorsteps.

"Y/n?" Ten was clearly surprised because the last thing he wants was a visitor this late at night.

"Can I come in?" Ten was hesitant but he was worried that something's up so he decided to let you in. Walking past him, he smelled the alcohol all over you.

"Are you-" before he even gets to finish his question, you cut him off by saying "I still love you" which shocked him. He was confused, so confused that he became mad at you.

"Why now?" he asked "I know I don't deserve you anymore but please hear me out for the last time" you started crying in front of him.

"I'm sorry it took too long for me to realize the mistake I've done. I swear I tried coming back but Lisa was already there"

"Yes! She was there and is still there. She never gave up on me, y/n. Unlike you who made it seem so easy"

You were sobbing and Ten was just looking at you.

"I'm so sorry" you hugged him and he was doing nothing. Just letting you hug him. Ten missed you so much but this isn't right at all.

When you let go of him, you looked him straight in his eyes still crying "I missed you" you whispered. This isn't supposed to happen, you both thought but your emotions are fighting back.

Both of you know that the love is still there but for Ten, it's the love for his best friend and not for the person who broke him before.

On the other hand, all you wanted to do was kiss him again but before you could even do it, you passed out in his arms.

Waking up to familiar yet unfamiliar surroundings, you see yourself wearing a man's shirt. Realizing where you are, the events from last night flashed in your head.

You facepalmed. You swear in your life that you'll never gonna drink again.

You get up immediately to get your things. You saw Ten sleeping on his couch. I can't wake him, you tell yourself.

You just felt horrible that you're in his apartment, six hours before his wedding but thankful as well because nothing regretful happened last night. Yes, saying those words last night wasn't regretful at all for you because now you have the chance to fully move on.

Ten woke up to the sound of his alarm. Turning it off, he got up to see if you're still in his room but you already left. He sighed remembering what happened last night.

He noticed his and Lisa's wedding invitation on his table alongside a letter.

It was from you.

Dearest Ten,

I'm sorry I wasn't able to bid goodbye properly but what I'm sorry the most is the pain I've caused you. You didn't deserve it at all. The consequences I got when I lost you were enough for me to let you go and what happened last night was a part of it. Even though it wasn't my plan to get drunk and barge in like that, I'm still thankful that all is out now. I'm finally free from the burden inside me. I have decided to go back to Paris and never come back again. It's the least I can do for both of you and that means I can't attend your wedding as well. I'm just scared that everything will come back again if I see you getting married so this is the best solution. Yeri was right, I shouldn't have come in the first place but I think that was because I wanted to see you for the last time again. You were my best friend and you still are but unfortunately, everything has its ending and I'm afraid this is ours. Our history will always have a special place in my heart and I thank you so much for being a part of it. Please make a much better history with Lisa. You deserve each other and I'm glad she's the person you're gonna spend your forever with. Be happy always :)

Thank you for bringing me back home. I will always love you, Ten.

Y/n

••••••••••

The Breakup Playlist

Masterlist

[cosmiclatte28]

short date

Prince!Taeyong x guard! reader (free gender)

quick imagine / scenarios 

enjoy!! 

Beneath the blue sky and on the green fields of the big palace, the young prince was taking a stroll on the garden with you. He has ordered the maids and cooks to prepare an afternoon picnic. You were standing on his side staring at a table with two chairs looking on to the horizon. The maids helped Taeyong take his seat and they soon arranged the table according to his desire. You stood by his side as he sat down and reached out for the silver plates full of wonderful delicacies.

“I think you need to taste this for me,” Prince Taeyong said. He called you to stand closer and brought himself up. The prince naturally shoved the exquisite cake into your direction.

You wondered if he was in his right mind, didn’t the castle has a special man for testing foods?! You’re not a professional on food testing, though you did received basic training.

You blinked, “Um… Your Highness, I am on duty.”

You are the prince’s number one guard, the King chose you because of your skills, intelligence, and your young age. Ever since the last guard retire from a chronic disease, you are appointed to be the prince’s guardian and escort.

Taeyong simply cocked his head to the side, looking at you through his irresistible sharp gaze. “What? You’d rather have your Royal Highness be poisoned?”

You shook your head, of course not. The Royal Family shall never be harmed. You hesitantly took a mouthful, just to practically melt into the satisfaction.

“Oh my god.” Your eyes twinkle, it was amazing. There was no doubt that the Royal Family has the best cook.

You open your eyes from the wonderful short melting feeling in your mouth. It’s strawberry cheesecake and that is your favorite.

“I- erm- I think it’s fine,” You stutter from the dreamy state Taeyong had on his face as he stared into you.

A small smile bloomed on his ethereal beautiful face, he quickly put down the silver plate of cake and reached for a glass of wine.  

‘You should try a sip of the wine too,” he handed you a glass and poured the dark red liquid inside. Before you could deny him, reminding him you’re on duty, he quickly said “Just to be safe.” He shrugged his shoulder.

You received his glass and twirled the luscious liquid and examined the smell.

“Sit, sit” He practically dragged the opposing chair out and ushered you to sit down on one of those chairs a visiting princess or prince always use when Prince Taeyong invited them over for talks or visits.

You sat on the precious chair, not with a embellished dress nor a tidy tux. You’re only on your guard uniform and Taeyong, the prince himself sat across you also with his simple attire. You just realized he was not using his royal outfit.

Taeyong was dressed in a simple big white shirt and a tailored fit pants which hug his toned legs perfectly. The soft breeze of afternoon air blew the short golden strands out of the young prince’s face.

He was sitting on the other chair, face to face with you. On the table separating the two of you, were plates of small cakes and cheese, a bottle of good tasting wine, and fresh bouquet of flower on the vase.

You took the time to admire the soft combination of purple, pink, and white wildflowers.

Taeyong pushed the remaining dish of cake into your side, you threw him a questioning look.

He pointed with his chin, to the spoons on the table.

“That one,” Tae pointed at the dessert spoon. You blushed, feeling so foolish for not knowing which spoon to use.

Your posture was still straight, and your eyes were still darting back and forth, a natural instinct to keep an eye out of the young prince.

“Hey, finish that cake okay…” Taeyong lightly kicked your feet under the table and you winced,

“Hey I am doing my duty… I am keeping eyes on your surroundings.” You frowned.

Taeyong stifled a laugh, “Just finish that cake first and the wine, you’ve tested it and I just want to make sure there is no poison at all.”

The sun sets and you were now talking with the young prince. Taeyong noticed the joy in your face from having a nice short break. He noted how your shoulder slowly find its comfortable pose, and he recorded the carefree smile on your face, you look way younger and fun this way.

“Try this for me,” his hand extended for a bite of freshly baked apple pie into your mouth

You followed his orders around, since whenever you denied him, he added “It’s a command”

A winning smirk appeared on his face.

It took you slightly too long to realize that it was practically a date, with the young prince feeding you delicacies off his plates.

[rendezvousrenjun]

our playlist. | j.jaehyun

✩ In which each song represents each pivotal moment in your relationship with Jung Jaehyun. ✩ romance + angst | 6.2k words | beware! some cussing :(

Jaehyun loved to learn more about the world. The dork inside him always questioned the most mundane things; Where do phobias come from? What would happen if there were no moon? Can you ever stop loving someone? Being an idol, there were multiple times he missed the regular everyday hobbies he used to partake in. Nonetheless, hands on experience and opportunities given to him by his company would always be something he would be grateful for. His dream would always be first priority, everything else could follow after. 

His company encouraged him to film another “Daily Jaehyun” vlog (although he’d prefer to call them “Yuno Time”) for the holiday season as a gift for all the nctzens. He always enjoyed taking his time filming them, as it basically meant being able to relax and spend some time on himself-- besides the fact that there was a camera or two. 

He had asked Johnny what would be interesting enough to film; Johnny responding with “they’d be happy with anything you do.” 

And yes, sure, they probably would -- but Jaehyun wanted this to be special. Something special he could do. Not even for himself but for others. It was the season of giving after-all. A couple hours of listening to music and pondering on his bed later, he decided he wanted to vlog himself volunteering to encourage the nctzens to do so too. 

That’s when he met you. 

⌜ OUTTA MY MIND - Monsune ⌟

It was right before the sun started to set when you receive a call from SM entertainment. They ask for permission to film at the nursing home you worked at, which caught you off guard. You were in the midst of organizing the files of care home patients -- and no one really calls around this time -- so you ended up jotting down all the information on a folder. To say you were surprised that such a well known company wanted to stop over at this specific care home would be an understatement; but you made sure to relay the message to your manager as well as the rest of the staff members. 

Suddenly the tan dry walls seemed to be splattered with a different type of sunlight -- the transition from day to dusk blanketing over you and your colleagues’ excitement.

The frost on your car window was still intact early in the morning when you show up to work. Funnily enough, everyone else had arrived as early as you. The day began as it always does -- checking stats and arranging breakfast for your designated patients. You hear your manager greet two people about two hours in. They set up cameras in the main halls and public spaces in order to capture all the action without disturbing the elderly. 

Unfortunately it still caused pandemonium, and one certain patient was particular in expressing their unsettling feelings about this. 

“What’s happening? You think being here is some type of sick joke?” He spits out in disdain. “What’s with all these cameras, huh? Gonna capture us in wheelchairs and pissing ourselves?”

You begin to feel guilty. But considering that there wasn't anything you could do now, hearing your manager discuss that some van would be here any time now, you lower yourself to the upset patient. 

“You know what they say,” your eyes stare into his with utmost sincerity, taking both of his hands in yours as you crouch to make sure you weren’t talking down to him, “the more the merrier. I’m sorry to put you in such an uncomfortable situation sir, tell me anything you need and I’ll be sure to take care of it right away -- really anything -- it’s just that this publicity could really help this clinic, you know? And -- I really want to raise the donations this year to fund your guys’ equipment -- this could be the perfect opportunity, so what’dya say? Just for today let’s bare with the cameras, hmm?” You rub your thumbs over his palms to calm him down a bit more. 

You don’t even realize Jaehyun had already walked in and started vlogging his greeting of your other colleagues because you’re so focused on the smile the grumpy old man genuinely gave you now. 

“Ooh, baby, let me get you into my life

Ooh, baby, I can't let you out of my sight”

As cheesy as it sounds, Jaehyun was completely enamored by you the moment he laid eyes on you. The way you were comforting the old man, the way you spoke with such hope towards him, the way your entire presence seemed so gentle; maybe he just caught you at the right moment but you immediately made him feel some type of way.

His camera is still focused on his face, and it captures the way he melts in adoration over you, dimples and all. 

Your mind totally blanks out when you look up at him smiling like that and at you. 

“Hey, nice to meet you both. I’m Jaehyun, um-” he bites his lip to stop himself from smiling as wide when you reciprocate one back at him, “what could I do to help?” 

You end up being Jaehyun’s guide the entire time, not like you didn’t mind. Because you did not mind AT ALL. He just follows everything you do, listening to your instructions intently, trying his best; something you found admirable. 

On the inside, Jaehyun is absolutely dorking out at the way you passionately explain things to him, all the procedures and what most volunteers do. He stares at your mouth and the way you form words, or when you scrunch up your nose when he says something jokingly. He almost forgets that he’s volunteering because he’s having so much fun working with you. Oh? Organizing files? Piece of cake. Preparing adult diapers? No problemo. Checking medication schedules? Sure! Speaking to the elderly about taking their insulin shots? Okie dokie. 

You notice that he’s staring sometimes, thinking he ain’t that slick, and when you do catch him his cheeks flush a bright pink and he clumsily swings his head back to fight back his embarrassment. You enjoy how he’s taking what you’re doing seriously; he even nods at your tangents about the importance of taking care of oneself, or the proper way to track your sugar levels.

Which Jaehyun then realizes he’s been neglecting his camera and points at it to declare, “you hear that nctzens? Take care of yourselves and others around you, okay??” 

You end up facepalming with both hands to resist secondhand embarrassment. 

You don’t notice the day pass by so quickly, in fact none of the people at the nursing home did. Jaehyun’s appearance filled them with joy; one of the grandmas even remarked that Jaehyun’s handsome face extended her lifeline -- which caused all the residents to burst out laughing. When the cameras are put away and shut off, you’re upset that such a great day is over. Jaehyun says goodbye to you last, as you send him off from the entrance. 

He skips about five steps down the pavement before he hesitates taking the next. You watch him turn around and take long strides towards you by the door. 

“Don't even know you

But I can't get you outta my mind”

“Hey..” he breathes out in a polite chuckle. 

“Hey…..” 

“So uh, I know I kinda asked you a bunch of questions about you earlier and I hope I wasn’t intruding your privacy--”

“You weren’t!” you cover your mouth with your hand since you’re surprised at how fast you cut him off, “I mean, you really weren’t, it was nice.”

“Um, well, I forgot to ask about something else.” he starts biting the inside of his cheek to fight his own nerves. “But may I have your number, y/n?” 

“I've been waiting for the right time

To let u know that i've been looking for you all of my life”

⌜ you are luhh - cover by Frank Ocean ⌟

Jaehyun really wanted to take you someplace nice for your first date but options were, unfortunately, extremely limited. 

In a way, there were multiple restraints to taking you out properly. He wanted to pick you up, but he didn’t own a car. He wanted to bring you some place where he could show you off, but instead he had to find somewhere with as little foot traffic as possible. He was also apologetic about the fact he asked you to come out after your shift and at night when it was dangerous. 

It was around eleven at night when Jaehyun had asked if you guys could meet up at a downtown music shop on the outskirts of town. You have never heard of this particular one before, as it seemed to be an individual-owned business. 

Entering the shop, hair a bit messy from getting off work, clothes smelling a tad like hand sanitizer-- you are greeted by the soft music playing inside the shop. There was certainly a retro-ambiance that glowed from within: orange light bulbs hanging from the ceiling, little key-chains on a rack, a jukebox stored at the back of the shop, and vanilla scented candles looming over a couple of the vinyl shelves. 

Jaehyun watches the way you make your way over to him in the back. The atmosphere adding to your appearance makes him breathe out a soft “wow”. 

“Sorry we couldn’t meet up earlier.”

“Jaehyun I’m just glad you wanted to meet me at all.” 

His eyes smile at you as his grin spreads across his cheeks. You restrain yourself from pinching them.

“I love this place, it’s like a new little world.” Your eyes move around the room as you talk, walking over to see some of the CDs.

“Right? Honestly I can’t believe it hasn't blown up yet since the owner is such a cool dude too.” He follows you over to the CDs where you excitedly point out your favorites.

You guys naturally get along well, enjoying each others’ company without much thought. It was such a relaxed environment, all the nerves from the start were replaced with wholesome butterflies. The way Jaehyun talked about music was so endearing to you. He was so passionate about his work that it made you respect him even more than you thought possible. 

“Oh!” Jaehyun interrupts himself to pull out two matching keychains with tiny vinyls on them, “look what I bought for us! Sorry if you think it’s a little much-”

“AHHH I love them! They’re so cute! Were they handmade? And there's one for each of us…” You pout at how cute the gesture is, genuinely touched. 

Jaehyun took note of your expression, saving it in his mind. 

“So many things have taken place before this love affair began

But if you feel more like I feel

Confusion can give way to doubt”

Maybe it's delirium from lack of sleep, or the fact it was one am, but Jaehyun really wanted to dance with you. Although he hesitates at first, his impulsiveness takes the best of him and he pops the question. 

You listen to the slow rhythm of the song, and move your head to nod “yes” to the beat. 

“Tell me what it is

What it is, no need to make believe

Look beyond your world

Try to find, find a place for me”

It was supposed to be awkward but why did you feel like you were about to fall asleep in his arms? You were supposed to be embarrassed for basically embracing as you guys slow dance to the beat in this empty music shop, but you weren’t. You were comfortable. And Jaehyun really liked this feeling. 

It was ironic. He was unsettled because he was comfortable with you: your scent, your arms around his neck, his around your waist, your warmth. He plucks up the courage to whisper the question you both have been anticipating into your ear,

“Do you think we could officially be together?”

You don’t move from your position in his arms, his mouth slightly grazing the side of your ear. You take a few seconds to think and he respects the time you take. 

“I think we’re going too fast.”

His body stops swaying to the song playing so he could pull apart from you and see your face.  

“I don't want this moment to get lost.” He takes hold of your arms, squeezing them gently, then making eye contact with you again. “I know we’re going too fast--” he bites the inside of his cheek, “but I don’t know when the last time I felt this way was, or if I’m ever going to feel this way again.”

You stare at him. He’s so straightforward it makes the butterflies in your stomach go crazy. 

“--and being an idol and all--” he pauses to collect his thoughts, “it’s so hard to maintain relationships out of the industry you know? But y/n,” his tone lowers, “I’d understand if you wouldn’t want to get into a relationship with me. Because I’m telling you now, it’s hard. It will be hard. And I sound like a crazy person right now because we’ve only gone on one date but I really really like you.” 

You burst out laughing because the butterflies in your stomach wanted to escape so badly, and there was tension building in your lungs. Jaehyun lets go of your arms, flustered by your reaction. 

You take his palms again and interlace his fingers with your own. 

“Jaehyun I like you too. Although I’m a bit hesitant, I really like you.” 

“I’ll try my best y/n, I promise.” 

“Cuz when you're at your best you are love

You're a positive motivating force within my life

Should you ever feel the need to wonder why

Let me know, let me know”

⌜ --star. - Nadin Amizah⌟

The first time you entered Jaehyun’s dorm you expected it to be extremely chaotic. But then again, you really didn’t know much apart from what the members had posted online on their daily channel. 

It was like any other dorm. It wasn’t exactly messy, but it wasn’t spotless either. It just seemed like the next run-of-the-mill shared apartment complex where people lived. It did, however, have a distinct smell. Coffee? Men’s deodorant? A slight hint of fabric softener -- or was that the soup that was boiling on the stove? It was heavy mix. 

Your first instinct was to go to the kitchen as Jaehyun was locking the door. An auntie was stirring the soup and was quite startled at your appearance. 

“I’m so sorry! I couldn’t help but come over because it smelled so good…” The auntie, followed by Jaehyun, started laughing at your charm. 

“Auntie this is y/n.”

“I’m Jaehyun’s friend, nice to meet you.” 

“Girlfriend actually--” 

You look up at Jaehyun in surprise, the word actually leaving his mouth for the first time. Taeil walks into the kitchen at the sound of the word as well and greets you happily. 

“See I told you not to worry about the members.” Jaehyun whispers as you two make your way towards his bedroom. Once you’re inside, you sit at the edge of his barely made bed and lean over towards his piano to play a single note. 

“You want me to play you something?”

“You sure? You don’t have to, we could just chill now.” 

Jaehyun grabs some of the red wine in his little refrigerator and hands it over to you, then sits at the keyboard to brush over the keys. 

“Lend me your palm

I have brought you a star

As bright as who you are

But not enough as lovely as what you are”

Listening to Jaehyun play so effortlessly, the way his fingers glide and shift between keys while concentrating on the sheet music made you realize how he shined as an artist. You’ve always known he was talented (guiltily listening to all his covers on Youtube at least ten times on repeat), but you are always hypnotized whenever you see it live. His voice mixing into the melody was so fucking beautiful it made you emotional. He was just so fucking beautiful. 

“WHY ARE YOU CRYING??!!” He abruptly stops playing to twirl his chair over to you who’s currently bawling after finishing about half a bottle of wine. He takes your face in his palms, wiping your tears with his sweater, concern evident in the crinkles of his forehead. 

“Jaehyun… you, you….you’re a star! Just so talented! I can’t handle it!” You look him dead in the eyes with tears springing up again at this drunken confession. 

He’s overwhelmed with your red cheeks and the passion you have to continuously proclaim how amazing his voice is. It really means so much to him hearing this from you. He keeps staring at your mouth babble on about how he deserves recognition -- the entire world even -- and he can’t help but melt. 

“Whisper me a kiss

You can draw me your dreams

It’s safe inside this tiny house

Where we both understand of who we are”

“Can I kiss you?” He asks and you stop talking just to gasp. 

“dUH you beautiful MAN!” You throw your arms around his neck sloppily and he smiles while he presses your lips together for the first time, tasting the wine from earlier. It’s sweet and soft and meaningful. Just like you. 

You try to lean more into him but you end up almost falling over from the edge of the bed. 

“I might have to return you to the sky tonight

But now it feels like you make everything alright

I might have never told you but with you

Feel like everything is right”

⌜ Thank You - JUNNY⌟

It’s been exactly one year since Jaehyun and you have been dating. Surprisingly no one has caught you guys yet, other than your closest, most trusted friends, and of course, the NCT members. Unfortunately, your boyfriend was doing promotions for their new comeback all day today. You were extremely proud of him and really happy that he was living out his dream, it was just a tad tiny bit disappointing you couldn’t make it to any of stages since you were at work all day as well. 

Not seeing each other in person was something you both had to get used to. It was difficult when both of you wanted to be comforted, or do things together. But for the past year you guys have been staying strong for so long, it was just the normal in your relationship. It often led to multiple miscommunications here and there, but in general, you two were going steady. 

You had sent Jaehyun a happy anniversary paragraph the moment you wake up, excited despite knowing well enough you weren’t going to see him today. 

↬ Baby! Good morning! I hope your promotions do really really well! You’re going to do so well today. Know I am always proud of you, my precious star. I can’t believe it’s already been a year together. I hope it turns into two years, or five, or maybe… fifty? AHAHAH I miss you! Stay Healthy! Happy Anniversary. I love you. 

You constantly checked your phone throughout the day to see if he replied to the message, but he didn’t. 

Even when the television in the nursing home switched to a music network where Jaehyun was performing you wondered if he didn’t even have time to send a quick text while he was getting ready throughout the day. 

You knew you shouldn’t complain. He was busy. You were busy. But busy enough to not even greet you? Wasn’t that a bit much? 

Nevertheless it puts you in a bad mood for the rest of the day, all the way to the car drive home, and all the way to your bed. You check your phone one last time right before twelve am strikes, and decide to sleep it off. 

The next morning you wake up to your phone ringing continuously at around three am. 

↬ 14 Missed Calls from ‘My Star’

↬ 25 Text Messages from ‘My Star’

↬ Incoming Video Call: ‘My Star’

You press accept, rubbing the sleep from your eyes to try to adjust to the bright light of your phone in the pitch black of your bedroom. 

“I just wanted you to know

For you I have my gratitude

and so much more

Every one of your messages

I be reading inside”

“Y/n….” Jaehyun was sobbing on video call and you were genuinely confused for the first minute or so because your body hasn’t adjusted to what was happening yet. “I’m so sorry for not replying--” he starts sobbing again, “you must’ve been so sad oh my gosh….”

You straighten up so you could see Jaehyun’s face on camera and your heart drops at him feeling bad for not replying. “Jaehyun! Today was your comeback! You should be happy!”

“But I didn’t even reply y/n! I’m such a terrible boyfriend!” 

“Hey…. shhh…. It’s okay. Well, to be honest I was pretty upset, but I know you didn’t mean to leave me hanging.”

“But I did! I even left you on read, oh my gosh I’m literally the worst.”

“Hey! Stop disrespecting yourself like that. You’re here now that’s what matters.”

Jaehyun sniffles and starts wiping his tears and begins to regulate his breathing again. 

“I prepared a video to send you of me singing -- thank goodness I took it a couple days ago or else it would’ve sounded terrible now.”

“Oh really? Is it in our chat?”

“Yea I sent it on messages, basically I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. And that I’m so happy I met you by chance because I really wouldn’t know what I would do without you. Literally -- showed me another perspective on life and you are always supporting me. You’re so beautiful inside and out baby I-” he starts choking up again, “I love you.”

“I love you too Jaehyun. Now go to sleep! You must be so tired oh my goodness! How long were you calling me for?”

“Are you sure? We can stay up and talk about your day, it’s really okay.”

“No it’s not okay go to sleep babe, I can feel your sleepiness from here.”

“You know me too well. Goodnight mwah baby. Again, I’m really sorry and I miss you.”

“Mhmm.”

You ended up watching Jaehyun’s video singing you a song. He begins by saying how he thinks the lyrics really resonate with him, followed by Haechan and Johnny shouting behind him. 

“I’ve been listening

to you from the start

Thank you for today

Tomorrow yesterday

Every day and night

I wanna thank you

for believing

I’ve been listening

to you all along

Put it to my faith

I just feel amazing

Every day and night

You make me feel alive

Thank you for your love”

Now it was your turn to bawl. 

⌜ Mad - Ne-Yo⌟

No relationship is perfect. No matter how hard you and Jaehyun tried there was always some sort of barrier. Or some unspoken rule. At first you thought it was the lack of time both of you had for each other these days. 

You, being busy taking care of the residents in the care home. Jaehyun, busy preparing for his world tour. 

“Oh baby this love ain't gonna be perfect, oh no (perfect, perfect, oh)

And just how good it's gonna be

We can fuss and we can fight

As long as everything's alright between us

Before we go to sleep”

At some point you realized you couldn’t rely on Jaehyun completely anymore. 

You had just witnessed the old man who had grumpily refused to be caught on camera just over two years ago, pass away. This was the most difficult part about your line of work, and you really just wanted to be held and be told it was okay. However, when you showed up at Jaehyun’s dorm he was asleep on his bed after a long day of practice. You wanted to wake him up to talk to him about how hard it’s been for you lately -- and you did. You wanted to be selfish and talk about it because it’s something that’s been snatching your insides.

“We fight in this war, baby when both of us are losing, oh, whoa

(This ain't the way that love is supposed to go)

(What happened to working it out?)”

When he woke up he wasn’t too happy. Snapping crankily at you because he had a bad day at practice and that he was extremely tired. Initially, you were stunned. Was this really the Jaehyun who promised that he’d try his best? You wanted to be considerate, you really did. But eventually you start to feel like you were less important and less loved in comparison.

You questioned whether your problems were even valid enough to talk about with him. Ever since that day you questioned everything you said before telling him anything. Always the one supporting him. Always the one to lend a shoulder. 

You two were stressed and tired all the time. You wanted to communicate with him, you really did, but the opportunity felt like it never came.

“Let’s break up.” 

“What?” 

Jaehyun was in the middle of his rants, the only thing he did when you two saw each other in person nowadays. You sat at the edge of his bed, the same place where he kissed you for the first time. Except this time instead of playing the piano he was playing with your heart.

“And now as I'm yelling over her, she yelling over me

All that that means is neither of us are listening”

“You never listen to me anymore. I’ve been trying to communicate with you but all you ever talk about is your fucking tour. Don’t get it twisted -- I’m proud of you. I’ve always have been. But what about me --” you finally snap. You can’t stop yourself from breaking down right there. 

Jaehyun is silent. He doesn’t hold you. He’s in shock. Was this really how you felt? This whole time? He just let this happen to you? 

“You’re not going to argue with me? Say anything?”

“I can’t argue with someone who's already made their decision. I told you that it was going to be hard, I thought you expected this? What happened to all the promises huh?”

“Oh? Promises? We’re talking about promises now? Where were you when I needed you most? When was the last time you comforted me for once? Huh Jung motherfucking Jaehyun?!”

Doyoung could hear the yelling from his bedroom and decided to check up on you guys to make sure nothing too bad was happening. When he interrupts you two arguing, you take this as an opportunity to get up and leave. 

“Fine! Leave! I’m leaving tomorrow morning anyways! Have a good life y/n!” Jaehyun basically spits out of his mouth, ears red, venom pouring out through every word. 

“But baby can we make up now

'Cause I can't sleep through the pain (can't sleep through the pain)”

None of you sleep that night.

⌜ Hearing Your Voice - Omar Apollo⌟

Seeing Jaehyun so at ease on national television, or just on promotional photos on Twitter or Instagram hurt you more than it should.

It’s been a month since you two broke up but it still feels fresh. You still loved Jaehyun. However, him not even messaging you once after your fight was absolutely ridiculous to you. What was he expecting? You running to him at the airport like in the movies? So what? You could apologize? There’s no way you were in the wrong though. It was just hard. Knowing he didn’t care enough to call. 

Halfway around the world Jaehyun knew he fucked up bad. But he tried to ignore it. He wanted to enjoy being with international nctzens and exploring the world with his members. Everyday held something fun, although he had to admit he would zone out in some of the interviews, he really enjoyed his time out.

“I got time, what you expected?

Sleepless nights, felt disconnected”

It was when he got back to his hotel room every night where he realized how empty he felt at the end of the day. 

He couldn’t sleep alone. Although, you never got to sleep with him often anyways. It was something he truly regretted -- not being in your company enough. It was too late now though. His competitiveness and pride got the best of him. He lost you and that was that. He didn’t make you happy anymore and you probably didn’t even think about him as much as he thought about you. Damn. Thinking about you like this. It was a lot. 

“But that's not fair

You got everything I need

Used to call me constantly”

He misses you. Like crazy. So much he would even dream about what your voice sounded like, or what your hands felt like to hold, or all the times you were there for him. All the times you put in effort and went out of your way just to see him. Or the smile you would put on for him so he wouldn’t feel bad about forgetting something. He used to do that too. When did it go wrong?

“It don't make sense to me

But I'm fantasizing 'bout hearing your voice”

It doesn’t make sense. He should’ve been content with what he has, his dream was always a top priority, but why did it always felt like he was always forgetting something? No matter how many days passed, or how many sleepless nights went on, you were always lingering around him. Haunting his thoughts every second he was conscious -- even unconscious. 

He saw you everywhere he went, hell, he couldn’t even look at stars without thinking of the way you called him your’s. He worried about you so much he thought he was going to die. 

He wanted to hear from you again. Talk to you again. But he didn’t. He was too stubborn for his own good. 

Despite all of this, you did not know. You were blinded by your own assumptions about how Jaehyun was probably out with somebody else. 

The only time he heard of you was when Doyoung approached him asking him if he knew how you’ve been these past few months. In which Jaehyun could only bitterly laugh, obviously still hurt from hearing your name. But it was more self-harm than harm from you: he’s doing this to himself. Jaehyun recollected himself quickly though when he noticed Doyoung remaining stoic.

Doyoung puts his hand on top of Jaehyun’s knee and looks back up at him. 

“Jaehyun. I know you are hurt right now, but y/n got in a car accident last night, and I think right now, more than ever, it’s time for you to swallow your big ass pride and just go to her. Stop playing the victim when we all know you were the one neglecting her in the first place.”

“I'm not confiding in

What's really here”

Everyone has a realization so powerful it basically breaks them at some point in their lives. A realization so daring to cross one’s mind. This was Jaehyun’s:

You were now his top priority. 

⌜ Nothing - Jeremy Passion⌟

↬ Report: NCT Jaehyun leaves Worldwide Tour early for unspecified reasons. 

“There's not much, not much the world can do

To keep me away from you

I am committed to make sure

These dreams we have come true”

You feel your body’s soreness the moment you wake up from your hospital bed. It was late at night, the humidifier and flowers next to your head, while the window that presented the night view was on the other. You feel something tickle your left hand, so you try to extend your neck to look. 

At the edge of your bed, was Jaehyun. Your hand was clutched in his as his hair fell near the tips of your fingers. He was sound asleep, sitting in such an uncomfortable position. This was a dream, no way Jaehyun could be here right now. 

But you move your fingers to feel the tuft of hair, and to your surprise, this was real. His eyes flutter open and he raises his head to look at you in person for the first time in months. You retract your hand agonizing slow in order to put yourself through any more pain, but Jaehyun gently clutches your palm again. He starts rubbing it against his cheek, and you choke up at his touch.

You didn’t want to melt so easily under his touch, but it all felt so familiar. He doesn’t break eye contact with you when you simply stare at him, expression unreadable. He moves your knuckles from his cheek to his lips, where he presses a warm kiss, warm tears falling in the process. He holds your hand with both of his as he silently sobs into it. 

“Why are you here? I thought we both agreed we were broken up.” You try to steady your voice, but there was an underlying quiver to your tone. You do not have the strength to remove your hand. 

Jaehyun grips your hand tighter, his breath exhaling “sorry” repeatedly over it. You can’t hold yourself back anymore. 

“It’s like you never listened to me!” You yelp out between broken cries, “and it hurt to know that the person I thought I would’ve spent forever with just left me in the dust like that! Everyday I wondered, ‘no way he could’ve done that -- not my Jaehyun.’ But you did--” 

He reaches over to hold onto your arm now, trying hard not to hurt you any further but wanting you closer to him. 

“You know what? I spent all my life taking care of other people and I thought, maybe this just once you were going to take care of me.”

His sobbing gets increasingly louder, hearing those words fall out of you. He buries his head into your shoulder gently, your arm still lodged in between his chest and arms. It was an uncomfortable position, but he wanted to hold you. To hold you properly this time. 

“Wait -- I just realized -- I’m upset with you right now but what about your tour?”

“Don’t care. I miss you. I’m sorry. Really sorry. Really sorry…” He keeps mumbling apologizes into your shoulder. 

“Honey, we'll make it

Nothing can stop us, nothing can stop us now”

You cave in and peck him on the top of his head, “I’m not forgiving you right away okay? It’s going to take some time for us to heal and communicate properly this time.”

“But this time nothing is going to get in the way for how I feel about you.”

“How can you say that so surely?”

“Because I love you and I’d do anything to make you feel safe with me again.” 

“I've been blessed with the privilege

Of loving you, babe”

⌜ Day 1 (Brooklyn Session) - HONNE⌟

“When I first met you, it just felt right

It's like I met a copy of myself that night

I don't believe in fate as such

But we were meant to be together that's my hunch”

You told Jaehyun that getting a white couch was going to be a bad idea but you guys ended up getting one anyways. Turns out, despite the stain-potential, the one he picked was so comfortable to the point you two often fell asleep on it. 

You join Jaehyun on the couch as he flips through one of your photograph albums. Your arms sneaking around his torso to hug him from behind. 

“I got lucky finding you

I won big the day that I came across you

'Cause when you're with me, I don't feel blue

Not a day goes by that I would not redo”

“You’re looking at our album?”

“Mhmm” Jaehyun hums back, eyes admiring the shared pictures you two have taken over the years.

“Oh you know what would be really good right now? If we listened to ‘our playlist’ so we could be extra nostalgic HAHA!”

“Should we?” Jaehyun flips to the next page, “man I still can’t believe you added the song that reminds us of our breakup on it…” 

“Oh shhh… it’s a good song.” You get up to play the playlist on your guys’ home stereo. “If we didn’t break up that one time we wouldn’t have gotten this far yaknow?”

“You’re right baby.” He pulls you back to the couch to sit next to him, placing the album between the two of you.

“I still can’t believe you took a picture of that red wine bottle.”

“But that’s not any red wine bottle, y/n. That’s the first kiss red wine bottle.” He flashes his timeless dimple at you as the two of you fond over the memory. 

“I could barely remember our first kiss.”

“I can kiss you now if you want?”

“what--”

Jaehyun wraps his right hand around the nape of your neck as the other one gingerly makes its way to your left cheek. He places his soft lips against yours, leaving the taste of his peach lip balm on you. There’s a cold sensation pressing into your skin, reminding you of the silver ring that matches yours placed on his ring finger. 

“You'll always be my day one

Day zero when I was no one

I'm nothing by myself, you and no one else

Thankful you're my day one”

[sweetheartyuta]

Being Best Friends With Chensung

A little something something that’s been sitting in my drafts x

this is non! idol btw

this is going to be a long ass ride, buckle up

first of all if you’re best friends with both Jisung AND Chenle then you, my friend have a the patience of a saint.

Constant pranks

waking you up with silly string

setting your alarm clock for 3am on a school day

I mean they literally turned you into a meme that went viral 

they will not lET YOU LIVE

like rip to your eardrum 

they imitate you allllll the time

they constantly roast you for literally just breathing 

“oH MY GOD YOU BREATHE SO LOUDLY STOP”

your personal hype men

like this one time you posted a selfie on instagram 

“ooooooooooooooh this is fire” - @ j1sung

“look at the glow!!! I’m living for this angle, issa snack!” -@ ch3nle

 they’d be hella protective though, although your friendship was strictly platonic and on a friend level, they’d be vary wary of any of your love interests because they placed you on a pedestal and no one was good enough for you and you deserved only the best

like this cute guy asked you out one time and they walked straight over to them and Jisung slammed his locker on chenle’s fingers which was a great start since intimidating was whAT THEY WERE GOING FOR

and they’d just quick fire him questions at him “how long have you liked Y/N for” “where are you taking them on a date?” “why do you like them?” 

binge watching kdramas together with you sat in the middle and every time there was a kiss scene they each put a hand over your eye because you’re still a small child to them even if you’re older

then once you’ve finished watching it, you’d all rate it out of ten 

late night runs to the convenience store for ramen and banana milk, taking it to your secret spot while stargazing on clear nights 

falling out for approximately 3 minutes before one runs back to the two of you crying and apologising

going straight from school to karaoke and even though the walls are soundproof you’d still get noise complaints because they’re juST THAT EXTRA

anytime you were feeling sad they’d take you to the pet store to look at tiny baby hamsters to cheer you up 

they go all out on your birthday

like as in they got you a t-shirt with a picture of the three of you on it (as well as a cushion and a freaking candle) and a photoframe of the both of them with signatures above it for when the get “recognised”

pffffffffffffffffffffffffftttt okay boy bye 

disney marathons in your homemade fort with snacks piled high 

food is an reoccurring theme in this friendship tbh 

yo but in all seriousness they’re the most supportive duo you’ll ever come across

you play a sport? they’ll be at every game with banners and wearing your matching t-shirts

you sing/ play an instrument? They’ll be at every band practice/ concert and have already come up with merch ideas 

you love art/ writing? they’d be at every showing and unveiling of your newest masterpiece and want it printed out onto a poster for their houses

always have your back, like it would be stupid to talk about you in front of them because they’d be shut down in a matter of seconds (vERBALLY, WE DON’T THROW FISTS MY SONS ARE DELICATE)

very caring and would do anything to make sure their friends knew they were loved, appreciated and cared for because they knew that you would be there to do the same

like them seeing you in the crowd of their first school concert made them so happy and instantly calmed their nerves because they were just so happy to see a familiar face

and literally if anyone mistook you for dating either chenle or jisung you would both give them the most repulsive look I’m dYING AT THE THOUGHT

“oh my god I literally just ate my lunch again” “how could anyone see us as a couple I’d literally want to rip my own hair out” -LMFAO

but all in all you’d be the luckiest (and unluckiest at some points) person to bag BOTH Chenle and Jisung as best friends because you know that with them, you have friends for life

[lovestrucked-again]

Days Of Eminence | L. Jeno

Summary: There’s only a small amount of cities that still exist, the city of Eminence being the next most likely to perish. It’s not the city that dies, but the people - guided by an Angel. He says Y/N is his saviour, the one who can guide him to Heaven, but how can she when she’s the one meant to kill him.  Genre: angst, smut, 

Pairing: angel! Jeno x agent! female reader (ft Jaemin) Word count: 5k

Warning: corruption of Angelic themes, smut, death

a/n: Something very different as part of the summer collaboration by @neo-cult-ure​. My chosen summer-titled song is “Summer” by Keshi. Thank you for hosting this!! <3  

“3 months is all we’ve got.” _____

They asked you to write everything you could remember. A hard thing since there’s only so much sorrow in the telling. Your mind shies away from it, looping between the past and present in time.

Jaemin squeezed your arm, his face stern. “Stay only long enough to find out what goes on, Y/N. 3 months is all we’ve got.”

You nodded, believing it would be that easy; truly imagining that you were prepared for what was coming.

***

First Month Eminence was cool and muted as the mountain city of summer. As in summer, most constructions of the city covered in a shadowed glow, soft stone in the dark; seemingly clean, bare, bonelike whiteness. You knew the ceremonies conducted by the Angel occurred during sunset, hence your entry at that time. Walking through the main street you started to see how the people of this place looked ill and frail. Many bore savage burn scars, though they looked content.

“We know there is a place called the Chantry where the people meet to hear the Angel speak every day. I will guide you there.”

Passing from the pink stained dusty street and into the shadowy interior of the Chantry, you could hear the murmurs of the hundreds of voices that echoed. People were pressed in close and stood staring up at a raised stage. A plain wooden seat set atop the stage and sitting on it, was the Angel.

Dressed in a white shirt, barefoot; his feet not quite touching the floor, fingers clasped loosely on his lap, like a child sitting at his lessons. Though he wore no crown, his hair was white and rose up floating about his head, catching the sunlight in a nimbus.

Behind him, the shocking contrast. The outermost wall of the city lay open and presented a black continuous land. Eminence was the edge of the frontier beyond which no one could walk and live for long.

Jaemin had told you the Angel was young, but the light glowing behind him made it impossible to tell. You felt uneasy at the face of shadows crowned by light, surround darkness. You told yourself, that it was a deliberate effect, that the angel had aimed to make himself binding awe and mystery.

Then the angel shifted and light fell onto his features.

You gasped, but the sound drifted and lost its way into the cries of people pressed around you. Your breath was kicked out of you; the Angel was beautiful.

Even as you recall these memories, your seeking for another word, but are defeated, for there is no word made that can describe the solemn beauty of the Angel’s features. You were stunned.

Surely the others tasked with your mission would have mentioned this. And if so, why didn't they tell you? Then a second later you realise that the appearance of the Angel would not be thought important to adult agents searching for power and corruption. They would not see such incandescent beauty as power, for anyone seeing truly must know no corruption had ever touched that face. Here was goodness personified. Here was an Angel.

It made sense now, why they had chosen to send you instead. An adult would see a child in the Angel’s face and search for a manipulator. Indeed, you had been warned to search for the boy’s controlled. But you only saw beauty, so pure it could inflame those who looked upon it with a kind of madness of adoration; and in its midst, eyes with the sad wisdom of emotion.

You missed quite a lot of what he was saying that day due to your shock at his appearance, but you visited the Chantry every day from then on, with the rest of the citizens, listening to him say the same words over and over again. Before long, you knew them well enough to chant with him, as the rest did.

“There was a sickening of the spirit of heaven.” He began without preamble, voice sweet and low pitched, shaped to the story, so that his words became a sort of wind that breathed itself into you.

“Therefore, heaven separated this sickening spirit, lest it infect the rest, imprisoning it in a cage of flesh. Sent it upon the earth, the flesh which calls itself human-kind, multiplied, as is its nature. Far from what heaven had hoped, the spirit became further corrupted, wholly absorbed by its physical prison.”

His voice shaded into an implacable subtone. “In grace and infinite mercy, heaven sought to undo this binding of flesh to spirit. I am that spirit and that flesh sent to rid Plethora – to end the overmuch of flesh and spirit that clings to it and worships it.”

“These are the days of Plethora; the days of Eminence which you may prepare for the end of flesh. That the spirit in you will perish with the flesh in which you chose not to rise above. This is the judgement of heaven. I am the Angel, offering to those who seek it, a high path offering the choice to loosen your spirit from flesh so that when Plethora comes, it may fly.”

He asked who aspired to take the High path and a lot of people lifted their arms, streamed through doors to left and right at the front of the Chantry. After a few visits, you had learned those who were more sick and ailing and scared, stood right. The others gathered on the left.

You watched them go curiously, thinking to yourself that this High Path and the whole story of being an Angel, was a mixed belief of old religions. Your superiors had predicted it.

“The angel is using tried and true beliefs, but the it doesn't explain how he has amassed his power. Nor does it explain the weapons he has his followers collect. If it was only weapons, we could disarm them and let them be, but there is more to it than that and this Angel is the centre. That is where you come in, it seems the Angel is searching for someone to restore his condition.”

They meant this literally. The Angel lived amongst people who adored him, who devoted their entire life towards him, yet, he could not find someone to share his warmth and in turn grew colder each day. You were told he would play with the Children of Eminence. You learned how easy it was to get to him the first day you woke in the city, attendants of his asking who would like to visit the Angel. Ten were selected. It was a simple process, proving no difficulty, but that wasn't your goal. Initially you had planned to learn a little more about the High Path, advocated by the Angel.

You learnt that the meaning behind separating the spirit from flesh was literally that; people letting themselves be physically tortured. You learnt it the hard way, choosing to follow those people who ushered you to the left door in the Chantry. You knew there was a physical torture of some sort behind the door, having seen those who went in healthy come out battered and thin and pale, but still alive.

They are a nightmare to remember. Only glimpses can still be recalled through the erased memories. They were not able to wipe out everything, and the strongest details of pain remained; where you were swimming and swimming desperately in a vast of water, pushed by people prodding sticks to keep you from reaching the surface, until you could swim no more. You would sink, screaming for the end to come, breathing in the thickness of liquid. There would be agony, then unconsciousness. Then you would be revived and be tortured to undergo the same thing all over again.

Some died in this first process of the High Path, and the Angel praised them, claiming heaven had accepted their spirit before Plethora had fallen. Many went mad, the pain of drowning and reviving repetitively unable to keep the sane. You were on the verge of falling victim to the second stage; thinking it could not be any worse, when you were selected to visit the Angel.

Second Month Unable to refuse, you went with caution and a little excited flock of children, expecting rituals and brainwashing, or maybe some sort of sexual interference disguised as play, but all the Angel did was play with them. The children squealed and giggled, running in circles as he tickled them, crawled after them, growling and pretending to gobble them up. He laughed and told them stories of heaven, singing melodies and songs he had learnt. You hovered at the back, wondering how one who so obviously adored children could allow them to be tortured and guide them to their deaths.

As if he felt the intensity of your scrutiny, the Angel looked over the children’s heads, towards you. And in that moment, you learnt the truth behind love at first sight: a mingling of souls that surpass all sense, all words, all life. The first single look you exchanged left you weakened in a voracious longing. But the most shattering thing, was the awareness the Angel experienced the same amount of recognition and emotion.

You watched his lips part in the shape to form a word, perhaps a curse or prayer, then he beckoned you. The children parted, letting you pass as you moved to him as quickly as you could, unable to contain the string that seemed to be tugging from his direction.

“Welcome, my dearest love,” he whispered, taking your hand, “I was waiting for you.”

You were completely bewildered. You tried to open your mouth but nothing came out; the phrases you had prepared in order to fit in, could not form. Dearest love.

“I am Y/N.”

He smiled and it seemed to you there was something new in his face. “Yes.” He released one of your hands and reached out to stroke a finger along your cheek. “I am Jeno, and as an Angel, I am beyond saving. Yet how else shall my spirit transcend flesh at the end, except by its grace? Thus heaven swore that I would find Plethora in the face and flesh of a girl called Y/N. My name was given to me – Jeno – as I was told I would know its truest meaning only when I saw you, and with that pain that it would bring, my soul can be released.”

You swallowed hard, unable to process the stream of words amongst your panicking madness of gibberish about love and death. “I…I don't understand. Did you know I would come?”

“I knew you would come to stand before me today. I left you to freely wander through the city of Eminence where other agents before you were discarded of at once.”

“I…other agents?” you questioned, feeling your spine turn cold.

He sighed. “You are not the first to be sent from your city in fear of attack and conversion to Angel worshipping. The man who led you here still stands outside these walls, where even now, waits for you outside Eminence, his fear of losing you gnawing at him.”

You blinked, remembering the look on Jaemin’s face as he placed the gun in your hand.

“You have undergone the start to the High Path,” Jeno goes on. “You have seen all the city in your wanderings. You asked questions and received true answers. You know my name, my face, my voice. I know that you have yet to be touched by the Highest Path – but we shall find that path in one another, for only by love can the soul find its highest pain.”

You gave up your act of confusion. You were trained to accept and prepare for the inevitable death when the time would come. The fear of death mingled with his words of terrifying madness claimed of love. You let your emotions fuse into a shield, waiting for it to form a barrier that could not be broken.

“An opportunity will come, in that split second when you can act and alter the course of events. Miss it and you die.” Jaemin had warned you, showing you how to remain calm and watchful.

“What are you going to do with me?” you asked the Angel.

“First, I will show you what you have not been allowed to find,” he said, and with that, he led you out of the enclosed garden. The children trailed behind in a train as he brought you through the city to the silos where the weapons were kept. Ancient missiles which, when activated, would rain acid chemicals to poison the earth and sear the flesh.

“H-How did you find them?” you asked, frozen at the sight. There was enough to destroy all cities – Plethora.

“Heaven guided me,” Jeno said, his fingers lightly caressing your arm.

“Why?” you hesitated, but you knew. Had you not heard the words a dozen times? Watched him form the sentences from his lips? As if reading your mind, he said them once again.

“These are the Plethora days - the end days - in which the spirit will be guided to abandon the flesh in judgement of heaven.” He touched the missile gently as if it was an animal that may run. “In a sense, I am also an agent, sent from Heaven. Just as your Jaemin had given you that gun to summon aid, I have you. My one chance for redemption.”

He smiled and led you back to the garden. Strange though it seemed, the two of you sat and he held you, stroked your hair and whispered words of love into your ears. He went for a while to deliver his morning speech, but he returned immediately after. You didn’t bother to run or hide, because he was an Angel and you knew you were captured by love.

“Come with me,” he murmured, grasping your hand in his as he guided you down an empty street. The sun was setting now, glowing from behind your figures and casting a shadow over you.

Jeno led you to a small but neatly structured building. His place was far from your imagination. For some unknown reason, you had pictured a place full of light of both natural and artificial. A room full of white, perhaps a few paintings of what he claimed was heaven. So to come into a small building shrouded with colours of grey and black surprised you. He left the curtains drawn during the day, allowing no light to shine through and liven his home.

“Is this where you live?” you asked quietly, swaying the curtains slightly as you peeked through to see outside.

“Yes,” he replied, “Do you like it?”

It bought a strange comfort knowing that his place was different from what you expected, a strange sense of relief. The Angel was a being himself, not controlled, not programmed, but with his own thoughts, likes and dislikes.

“I do, it’s nice.” It wasn't something that could be explained; the thought process that ran through your mind when it occurred. You bought your hand to his arm, sliding it down to hold his hand. He turned to look at you, startled at your touch.

You squeezed his hand softly, feeling his fingers intertwine with yours. He doesn't seem to realise what his doing, focused only on your eyes, caught in them yet again, out of his depth.  

Jeno blinked; suddenly he knew. He leaned in towards you, just a little. And you watched as his soft dark eyes close, bringing his lips in to touch yours. He leaned in further, sweeping your lips with his tongue and he felt his heart leap when you opened for him.

His hand cupped your chin and you let your face be guided. That too was right, as was the sudden tautness in your nipples. And his long fingers leaving your face, softly sweeping over your shoulder to enfold your breast - that was right, too, as it should be. And so was Jeno’s emphatic manhood, now thrusting upwards; that too was appropriate, perfect.

His breath caught at the feeling of soft fingers on his knee, tracing their way up his thigh. His hand swept over to your other breast, squeezed tenderly. His uncertainty vanished when you reopened your eyes. The look in them was ageless, assured. He could see yearning in them, too, a need not just for him, but for his approval, his acceptance of you as you. His breath caught again as you hand moved further, as if in confirmation, grasped at his cock. Your tongue met his, teased and played as your fingers rolled his balls between them.

He began to turn towards you, but the you were faster and he found himself pushed onto his back on the couch with you lying half on top of him. Your lips crushed his, your tongue probing deeper into his mouth. His hesitancy gone, he kissed back, his own hunger now open and clear.

Your fingers trailed lightly up and down the length of his manhood before returning to the tip, pulling it gently away from his body. You held it there for a moment, released it, began to roll his balls again. He had never been so hard, so aroused. His eyes closed as he focused on your light, deft touch.

You smiled to yourself, happy at his obvious pleasure.

You in her turn gasped softly as Jeno’s hand squeezed first one breast, then the other, lifting, weighing them, mounding them. His hands drifted, began to roll and pull your long nipples; you sighed at the sweet sensation flooding through your body. It was clear that the Angel, too, knew what pleased a partner. His patient, loving working of your nipples continued even as you shifted, moving to lie on your side, facing him. You shuddered, gave a slight cry as he lightly pinched a swollen nub, leaned down and began to tease it with the tip of his tongue. You felt your labia swell, sensed your dew on them, felt your clitoris ease out from under its hood, hard now, expectant.

Your hand moved from his balls to his cock. You slid a hand over it, up and down, thumbing its swollen head at the top of each stroke, giggled as it twitched in your hand. Squeezing harder, you began to drag the velvety skin back and forth over its iron core, slowly at first, then faster and still faster.

You gave a low moan as his hand moved down your body, caught along your pubic hair, pulled it gently. You could feel the air on your wet sex, moaned again as a long finger traced the length of your entrance.

You moaned again as the finger probed your opening up to the first knuckle, began to turn and twist within you. You could feel an orgasm building within you as his foreplay fanned a fire unfed for far too long.

You sensed that he too was very close.

You gave a strong push, rolling the Angel onto his back, his engorged organ swaying for a moment. With a soft chuckle, you straddled him, reached down and slowly guided yourself down onto his length. You paused for a moment, sitting upright, your eyes closed, allowing yourself to enjoy the feeling of being filled, happily stretched by Jeno’s manhood.

He layed still, his eyes sweeping back and forth between your eyes and your breasts. His hands rose up over your waist, fell to seize the tops of your hips. He smiled at the sight of your figure beginning to sway and rock on his cock.

Your eyes were closed and there was a happy smile on your face, one of pleasant concentration perhaps. The sun shone through your hair, rays reflecting against the bedsheets. With each roll of your hips, your soft breasts swayed, the ends of your hair drifting across his face and chest.

He slid his hands lightly over your thighs, came to rest on your bum. Your weight was on him and he couldn't move his hips. He found himself longing to pull you down, to crush your lips on his. His hands rose, hesitated.

Instead, he settled them on your waist, squeezed, pulling your body against his. Your skin was warm, soft, with toned, firm flesh underneath. His hands swept up to recapture your breasts, took your swollen nipples between thumb and forefinger, pulled gently, twisted.

You drifted in a wave of sensation as you rolled up and down on his cock. The taut rim of its crown pushing back and forth across your velvet lining fanned your arousal, each millimeter of motion like gasoline on a fire.

For the first time since you arrived, you were allowing yourself to be happy, to enjoy yourself without guilt. You began to give short cries as Jeno’s fingers gripped your nipples more firmly, pulled them and turned them.

You shifted, grabbed his wrists and leaned forward, pinning them to the armrest over his head. You could feel your nipples brush across his chest every time your hips drove torso down.

Jeno, for the first time in his experience, was not controlling anything. It was a strange thing for him -- exciting, but very different. Looking up at you, he could see that you’d caught your lower lip between your teeth. Your eyes were closed as you focused on the happy lust blooming within you.

His hands held against the sheet, he could do little but enjoy the sensation of you working yourself over and along his cock. After a moment, he bent his legs, pushing you further up his body. You opened your eyes, smiled at him briefly before changing your rolling to more of a plunging motion.

Your boobs swayed and swung as you bounced up and down; your soft buttocks slid up and down along his thighs.

He found that he could lean his head forward and almost reach... He pulled his feet in closer, raising his knees, pulling her closer still... and found his mouth could now reach your nipples when you came close enough. You gasped in surprise the first time and, still biting your lip, moaned in appreciation.

Jeno’s cock felt enormous to you. He could feel a fiery pressure building behind his balls.

You dropped all of your weight letting the intrusion into your pussy, letting yourself grind your pelvis against his. You went rigid for a moment, crying out at the explosion of joy, your orgasm possessing you, controlling you.

***

“Will you kill me so easily?” you whispered, unable to fall asleep with the silky sheets tucked around you.

And then you turned in your position, shifting to stare at him carefully in the dark – the only light provided by the natural moonlight shining between the gap of the open slit in the curtain. His expression lost as it seemed reality set back in. And then he wept, and you wept too. He reached out a pulled you into his arms. Surprised at the strength of his arm under your soft flesh. His hands trembled as they rested on your bare arms, and he leaned towards you and put his lips on yours.

“Flesh keeps our spirits apart,” he said, without taking his mouth away from you. “When Plethora comes, we will never be parted, not in all eternity.”

“But we won’t be ourselves in your heaven,” you shivered, the desire for him to kiss you again so powerful it felt like a knife poking at the edges of your heart.

“You’ll see.” he murmured bleakly, and you noticed the shadow of longing, the pain of parting, mirrored in his eyes, “it’ll be okay,” he said. And he kissed you again.

The two of you laid awake all night, he told you his coming to Plethora and the years of his rising to power. He explained to you the deaths of the agents - all self chosen as they challenged the road to the High Path. They had been converted he explained. You knew he was trying to convert you, and that in convincing you to accept death, he was fighting his love. In turn, you sought to win from his duty to heaven. Every minute that passed together seemed to make love seem brighter and more dangerously alluring.

Third Month The next day, or perhaps it was many days later, he showed you the maps that indicated the piles of missiles which had been set under all the cities; under yours. To destroy Plethora wasn’t enough for him. He showed you the room on the perimeter of Plethora, where the explosions and weapons would simultaneously be set off.

“This time, everything will go.”

“You’d kill all of those thousands of people after they survived the madness of world wars?” you asked, standing in the small machine dominated room

“I would free the souls left behind,” he said gently, “free them from fear and death and pain and sorrow,”

“And from love and beauty of the sort that only flesh would know?”

Again there was a flash of pain in his eye, and he stroked your cheek, then pointed to the back of your pants – the gun hidden underneath your clothing. “Why not summon him then? He will come here to save you will he not? He could kill me and save you.”

You thought there was a flare of hope in his eyes.

“Would you let him kill you?” you asked, knowing that there was an answer already known. The thought of Jeno dying bought heavy pains to your heart.

***

“You believed he was an Angel?” Jaemin asks, taking a moment to read through the words you had just written down. His eyes are filled with pain, disbelief and lack the warmth they held moments ago. He does not try to hide it anymore, unable to care if he knows how you feel.

“He was,” you say, “He came to bring Plethora. He fell in love, he trusted me.”

“Y-You loved him?” He turns around, letting himself stare out at the window as he braces himself

“I-I did.” you hesitate, wondering how many forms of pain your heart could go through without breaking for good.

“You killed him,” Jaemin states blankly, “You had to. He would have killed himself, killed you, and all of us. All the children and killed humanity out of love. You killed him so that we would survive.”

The flashes of pain and memory well up and spill out of you. Again you see his face, fused with radiance, for he would have walked the Highest Path of all in the moment of his death, knowing he failed because of his love for you. Again you feel the wind blow past your body, the explosion and flaring heat of flames as they coiled around you. The sound of Eminence dying was the sound of your undeniable regrets.

***

“Could you explain what happened?” The man asks, “I know its written here but…”

He stops talking, not wanting to force you into explaining something so visibly emotionally exhausting but desperate for the information.

“He showed me the control room, and when I had the chance, I went back to destroy it. I rewired it so that it would be blown up. I didnt realise the city would go with it. I thought it’d be only the room.”

“He might have lied when he said the control room was the only centre. The weapons could have been triggered some other way.”

You look at the wall, and when he realises it’s the end of the conversation, he leaves. He doesn’t believe Jeno was an Angel, convinced you had perhaps been manipulated – gone mad. He could not understand than an Angel is truth. Unfortunately you could not tell him any different. People see what they want to see. Jeno had said that.

“It was foreseen that it would come to this moment of balance,” Jeno had said, standing in the doorway of the control room. His eyes were on the weapon you held. Jaemin had handmade it, the handgun that had been carved with your initials, attached with a blooming light. Your hand trembled.

“You love me,” Jeno said.

You nodded weeping, “I do, but I have to stop you. I can’t let you destroy everything.”

“Only flesh, my love. Only the material world would die. I would never hurt you.” He was smiling because he was an Angel. And Angels are love and only know of love. He loved you, but he did not understand the nature of flesh, the need for it to survive - to love. “Come with me.” he said, his face exalted, “It’s not too late, even with all you have done. We can end it together.”

He reached for the lever which would bring destruction to the world before the control room could explode and sever Eminence from the other cities. But before he could, you triggered first. The gun that you had not once ever used finally triggered and a red flower landed on the Angel’s heart. He fell like a snowflake, as the city around you shook. His head landed in your lap and he smiled, lifting his fingers to your face.

“Too late,” he whispered, his hand falling back. “I failed heaven. I failed you, my love. We must part.”

“No,” you cried, but he was gone, flesh and spirit.

***

Survival is a disturbing topic. You were meant to follow him, for the journey of the High Path was started together. Yet you live and suffer. Perhaps the path is longer for you, a punishment for your betrayal.

The meaning behind his name only occurred to you long after your recovery. Jeno was an Angel, a King to his city. He was the strength of life, binding the souls and spirits of the citizens and guiding them to Heaven. And he was also strength in its scariest form – forcing you to put an end to the life of someone you cherished in the short 3 months you had.  

[rosietaeyongswife]

stars | yuta nakamoto

genre: fluff, bit of angst wc: synopsis: never let the lost girl become friends with older guys. never. especially if they're friends with yuta nakamoto. an: quick piece of rubbish. rant maybe, idk. lmao i had to write bcs felt like it. admire my yuta nakamoto. i love him.

how much does it take to someone to finaly be able to listen to you? just once. you've always been there for your closest people. did anyone had issues? you were there to help. of course you were, because why not. you're here for it. you did all your best. but where were they when you needed them? nowhere to be seen.

it's always like you were the one to call. one to rant to. whatever. you did your best. never talks about you, but always listen and help others. when you've tried, topic lasted for a minute. next thing was their issue. isn't it unfair? even your own family. you just want to be listened which was near to impossible.

until you met new friends. until you and yuta crushed. most beautiful human being ever to exist. being around yuta felt like you're not just alive but you're actually living. he had never expected anything from you.

"i care." yuta shurgged, while holding you close. "i don't care about all your friends, nor family. knowing enough is enough, y/n. if you want to talk, do it. i'm there for you."

suddenly all you could feel was knot in your stomach. view in front of you was glossy, and tears went down your cheeks. it's bare minimum, you had never recived.

"yuta, i'd like you to hold me. let's just chill together, and stay in a moment. i don't know how much should i be grateful for you. i love you so much."

"don't say obvious things." yuta chuckled, and you could only stare into his pretty eyes. "one day, i want you with me. i want us to go back to japan. i want to spend my best times with you. i want to show you what you deserve. i love you always. you're stars in my dark universe."

yuta was always proud of you. smallest thing you've done, never failed to make him smile. yuta nakamoto is well aware of you. of your feelings. people you've met made you empty inside, and he's willing to do whatever to make you feel as happy as ever.

"you're doing great sweetie." he shows you thumbs up. "i'm recording it."

"yuta, stop."

both of you were in his kitchen. one cigarette in yuta's left hand, phone in his other hand filming how you were baking cupcakes for both of you. it felt embarrassing to be watched. yuta is crazily in love with you.

"i won't, duh. you're all pretty doing it all for us. i made five cupcakes, and here you are doing another ten. you're amazing, darling."

"yuta-" you stopped because he was in your face with phone. "please, you're can't be for real."

"smile for camera. one day, i'll show our kids these videos, you hate." yuta turned his phone, so back camera can film both of you. yuta with cigarrete in between his lips, and you awkwardly smiling at him. "to my future kids. here's your sweetest mother. she's still a bit embarrassed, because she's all new to affection and being someone's number one, but don't worry. daddy's taking care of her."

"yuta, why are you talking about kids?" you chuckled. "it's like, future? like too much to be talked about."

"i can promise you, it's true."

"whatever. hello our future kids. we're doing cupcakes because yuta said it's amazing idea. as you can see, he isn't the best authority to follow. bad influence for kids." you rolled you eyes. "why don't you throw this off."

"i won't. your dad is fuckin amazing, kids."

"he is." both of you were laughing. "yuta nakamoto is the best person i have ever met. i can promise you, everyone loves him so will you. your parents are fuckin best."

yuta ended video, and was laughing. "i love that my y/n is finaly letting herself be. i love you, darling."

"love you, yuta. forever."

maybe there's finaly person who wants to listen to you :)

[hwangdol]

n.jm: where were you?

summary: y/n does not know what the fuck is going on half of the time. 

pairing: highschool!fboi!jaemin x fem!reader

warning: a lot of cursing, drug usage reference, crackheadness, maybe a lot of grammer error. this is my first bullet-scenario au so yeah. also! this a collab with the lovely @huangsren in out nct dreamies alternate universe teehee. she has a lovely, fluffy renjun one up so go read it!

part two!

you okay let’s get this collab with @huangsren 

so at NCT High if you don't know Na Jaemin who the hell are you? like everyone knows this kid from lunch ladies to the freaking janitors 

its not a surprise since the dude is literally dead drop gorgeous and has a shit ton of social skills. like the boy deadass can swindle his way out of detention (which he did) with just a wink 

typical fboi but instead of it being a huge turn-off, girls still throw themselves on him even when he WARNS them beforehand that he isn't looking for a serious thing

still, they get attached and heartbroken when he tells them “this isn’t working out” 

his friends (aka art-hoe!renjun and student-athlete!jeno) always rolls their eyes when jaemin rolls up into the lunchroom with his arms wrapped around a new girl’s shoulder

“bet she’s not going to last two weeks”- renjun slapping down a 10$ 

“knowing him, this isn’t going to last more than a week”- jeno said but still sliding over a 10$ bill 

AND SUPRISE it doesn’t 

both renjun and jeno don’t approve of his philandering, but they stick w jaemin cause he’s still their best bud cause bros before hoes ya know what i mean?

this is especially true with jeno cause they’ve been bffl since they were like five but that doesn’t mean that jaemin is anything like jeno. 

nah man they both are the complete opposite of each other

like jeno is a quiet reserved student-athlete boi but jaemin out here acting like a little thotty 

nomin is like a package deal, no one can separate them

here where out little y/n comes in

surprisingly you’re childhood friends w nomin 

both u and jeno are neighbors and your families have been friends since before you were even conceived 

your moms’ have weekly tea times where they’d gossip about everything and anything while your dads would be watching the weekly soccer/football games drinking a cold one 

you and jeno would be playing with some legos or barbies 

jeno had a minor (major) barbie obsession which was probably induced by you

don’t tell anyone but jeno still binge-watches barbie movies;;;his favorite really be the princess charm school one 

like i said nomin is a package deal so expect jaemin to be taging along to yours and jeno’s weekly playdate

imagine you being the princess while jaemin pretended to be the prince and jeno was the dragon,,,yeah man it was so lit 

this isn’t a jeno fic btw keep in mind its still jaemin 

all of that stuff before was when the three of you were like kids

once highschool came around all three of you found ur niches: jeno was the student-athlete, jaemin was well that guy that was wanted by all the girls

and you were just a regular mundane student ya know,,,you weren’t extremely talented nor smart you just floated around 

u still hung around jeno tho but your friendship was really lowkey 

like both of y'all would wait until the other one was completely alone or do some ridiculous actions to deliver the simplest messages 

jeno would look both ways before slipping you a note in class that said “can your mom drive me home today?” and you would make sure no one was looking before nodding secretly 

or the two of you would hide behind bushes to say that y'all parents wanted to have dinner together tonight 

tbh yall could just text each other but where’s the fUN in that? 

jaemin, on the other hand, was someone you haven’t a solid conversation with since sophomore year bc of an incident 

basically, you had helped one of your friends into a relationship with jaemin that lasted for about two months,,, which was considerably a long time considering that it was jaemin.the two of them were a fat power couple 

ur friend, let’s call her ella, was probably one of the more popular girls at school. she was well-known for being the prettiest, kindest girl that everyone LOVES

anyways, things didn’t end so well bc he stood her up at hoco even though he was gonna be crowned homecoming king and her queen. 

no one knows why jaemin just ditched but he did. 

didn’t stick well with your friend tho cause she stopped talking to you as well not really giving you an explanation

and this led to everyone in your friend group to kinda put all the blame onto you 

this is also when jaemin picked up his heartbreaker reputation and began living up to that title

at first ur were hella mad and sad, but you got over it cause being outcasted and kicked out of that friend group led you to befriend the local stoner boi!haechan

honestly, you got over it but after ignoring and avoiding jaemin for a whole year it just stuck. 

yall never talked again 

here comes SENIOR YEARS BITS 

u were so done w school at this point, you had suffered and labored through junior year,,, SAT and ACT were the biggest bitches you ever faced in your lifetime and this is coming from someone who was friends with the resident shithead lee haechan 

so it’s lunchtime and you’re listening to haechan’s wild story about some shenanigan that he and his weed dealer/ older college friend mark had gotten up to the past weekend 

“so like we were just hitting a blunt this weekend in mark’s car and this cop pulls up next to us.mark rolls down the window and all of the smoke just hits the cops in the face” 

“you're a fucking idiot, haechan” 

“listen bitch, i’m not done” 

“so the cop is doing the regular illegal drugs bullshit and asked mark a question. understand at this point that mark is high as fuck so i kid you not the crackhead says quack. nothing else just quack. honestly, i still don’t know how we got out of that but we did and lee haechan is still in school.” 

you want to slap your friend with a big smh at this point 

but it so ridiculous and so haechan that you can’t say anything else 

and you don’t have too! bc someone taps ur shoulder pulling you out of your convo and boom it’s ella 

“hey, y/n” she starts out sweetly and you could feel haechan’s bitch face directed towards the girl, who seemed to just ignore the boy 

“what’s up, ella?” you were hella fucking slightly irritated and highkey suspicious bc like this was the first time that she talked to you in like two years

“this out of the blue, but you know how prom is coming up soon? we need extra hands on the planning community,” ella explained with a bright smile  “we need another person to work on making the centerpieces for each table, but we only have one person on that” 

“okay, so what does this have to do with her?” haechan’s bitchy tone soaked in each word 

ella’s smile faltered slightly at his words, but it was so subtle that only people with keen eyes could notice

“i hope that i’m not imposing anything on to you.” ella trying to reassure  “but Mr. Moon told me that you still need some community service hours for our graduation requirement so I just assumed that this would be a good opportunity for you.” 

oh shit 

you completely forgot about that and you still needed like another 10 hours to complete

“ummmm” 

“i wouldn’t ask you this but my workload is completely swamped” ella added “it would be a big help if you can help. haechan, you can help too!” 

haechan let out a loud gag that seemed to baffle her 

“oh hell no, i already got my community service hours done like freshmen year.” 

you gave haechan the most incredulous face you could make cause like this druggie who gets high every other week and vapes in the bathroom really finished his community service hours before you????how?? 

“don’t look at me like that.” haechan kicked you underneath the table “it was before i learned how to roll a blunt” 

“drugs aren’t good for you, haechan,” ella chided 

haechan made a mocking face,,you know the one he does like that one,,”not all of us can be little miss goodie-two-shoes like you” 

oKAy time to do some damage control before your shithead friend gets himself into more shit 

“i’ll do it. just text me the details.” 

“thank you so much y/n!” ella said before bouncing off 

“i hate her” haechan stated

“you hate everyone” 

CUE aFTerschool when you follow ella’s text to go to the art building where everyone was gathered 

the minute you walked in you realized that you should have just said no and done some other community service activity cause jaemin was present standing in the corner and other people who you once called your close friends that turned out to be fat snakes

now you gotta deal with them again (aww shit here we go again) 

ella is motioning you to come into the classroom which you obliged cause you figured that you possibly could survive w ur rbf on as you made your way to the other unoccupied corner

there was some whispering in the background but you ignored it cUASE like hyuk always says: “you just gotta get high and block out all the haters” 

well, he was right about the second half, not so much the first. 

“alright everyone! thank you so much for volunteering to help set up for our senior prom! we only have about three weeks so we have to get all of the decorations done as soon as possible!” ella said in a chirpy tone

a lot of people looked motived by the girl’s bubby short speech on how everyone needs to put in 100% of their effort. you zoned that out as you caught the sleeping figure at the teacher's desk 

“goddamn you mr.moon forcing me to be here” you grumbled in your head almost missing your assigned duty, 

“y/n!” your head snapped in the direction that your name was called 

you saw ella standing with jaemin and the sirens go off in your head 

FUCK THIS

you let out a loud sigh before trotting over to the two 

ella gave you a piece of paper that had the centerpieces’ picture on them along with a long list of decorations “all you guys have to do is make about 300. all the directions are on the sheet and the supplies are in the other room. it’s really simple, just have it done by next friday.” 

you nearly popped a blood vessel 

300 by next friday? today was wednesday so that meant you only had ten days to finish all 300 of them

so you and jaemin are walking to the classroom next door to get the supplies y’all needed,,, in your head, you were just cursing everything in existence for putting you into this position especially mr. moon 

“so how did she rope you into this?” you heard jaemin say from beside you as you both carried boxes out to the parking lot. 

you two came to the good conclusion to split the load so that he would do half and you would do half 

150 it’s not that bad 

15 a day

hell yeah

it was so strange and foreign talking to him since it’s been about two whole years.  

he had a nice voice tho ngl maybe that’s why he got out of that detention that one time 

“she somehow found out that i still needed to complete my community service hours before graduation” you murmured, praying that haechan remembered you telling him to wait for you after school 

he probably ditched you to get high or hang out with one girl he liked

all jaemin said was “oh” and the rest of the walk to the school’s parking lot was quiet 

the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and the knife would break

“hey can i ask you a question?” jaemin asked when the two of you were about to go your separate ways 

you could see mark’s old beat-down car meaning that haechan, in fact, did ditch you but had the decency to call up mark to pick you up 

“yeah, go ahead” 

“how come you still talk to jeno, but not me?” 

i shit you not this was the quietest and deepest voice that you ever heard jaemin project 

you didn’t know how to reply so you looked down at the large box in your hand, mumbling some incoherent excuse

“can you repeat that?” 

“ i said, we don’t really have any other reasons to be friend's unlike me and jeno” 

“is that all?” jaemin asked, probably catching onto your bullshit

you were probably delusional but you could’ve sworn you heard some sadness in the tone he used

you nodded quickly trying to get to mark’s car hoping to avoid further conversation 

but boy was jaemin stubborn 

“that wasn’t a good explanation,y/n! ” jaemin called out after you. 

this time he sounded more lighthearted than before

you turn around to face jaemin who had a fatass smile on his face 

damn was he good looking smiling like that 

“give me a better reason tomorrow or else i’m taking you on a date!” his dazzling smile nearly blinding you as he made his way to his own car

inside your head little y/n is going whattheactualfuck? 

“what’s with that shook face?” mark ask as you climbed into the passenger seat 

“what the fuck?” you say 

“huh?”

you look at mark “what the ACTUAL fuck?” 

poor mark is like wtf is wrong with her,,,did haechan get her on some type of crack? 

that night while you were making the little centerpieces you were still going over what jaemin said 

you looked at the last centerpiece you finish making 

was he flirting with me? or was he serious?

he sounded sad when i said that tho? 

at the same, this was jaemin, a boy who is well-known for having flings left and right. 

he’s probably just flirting

until next day! jaemin pops up next to you as while you get your shit from your locker for your first class 

“did you come up with a good explanation yet? 

his sudden appearance startled you causing you to subconsciously let out a yelp 

“cute” he said, and you forced down the blush that was about to show 

“i thought i told you already?” causing jaemin to shake his head like a cute little puppy 

“i don’t accept it.i want a better one,” he said sounding like a spoiled toddler 

you gave him the “wtf do you mean look” and he was about to reply until you saw haechan walking through the school doors with a pair of sunglasses on which can only mean one thing

that little shit head came to school high again

you pushed passed jaemin and stormed towards haechan pulling him to some vacant hallway to lecture him

leaving jaemin standing there staring at your backs as the two of you left 

jaemin’s smile dropping significantly as he nearly glared over at the two of you leaving, specifically at the back of haechan’s head 

“dude, why do you look like you’re going to murder someone?” jeno asked as jaemin sat next to him at their lab station 

you weren’t in this chemistry class but haechan was,,,and it was his naptime

“how is y/n friends with him?” jaemin stared directly at a sleeping haechan 

jeno follows his line of sight, letting out a sigh once he notices it was haehcan

“she never really told me, but i assume it was because she stopped being friends with ella and that group” jeno said honestly. he raised an eyebrow in question at his bffl “why do you need to know” 

jaemin didn’t answer him, continuing to glaring at the sleeping male 

jeno rolled his eyes at his friend's antics 

but in a serious tone, he warns to his friend, “don’t pull your games with y/n.” 

except jaemin’s head wasn’t registering this warning,,he was solely focused on how lee fucking haechan the biggest stoner of NCT High managed to take a girl’s attention from him, na jaemin....it was simply ridiculous 

maybe he really was an attention seeker bc he made a beeline for your table during lunch instead of his regular one once he saw just how loud you were laughing at haechan’s joke 

“what’s so funny?” jaemin asked sliding into the seat next to you 

now both of you and our boy hyuk is like wtf 

immediately you’re on defense, “what are you doing here?” 

“you never gave me a good explanation!” jaemin pouted, giving you fat puppy eyes 

those aLMost worked 

“uhhhhhh” you try to find a good excuse but jaemin quickly cuts you off 

“it’s okay if you don’t have a good explanation,” jaemin reaches over and steals a fry from haechan’s tray eliciting a hissing sound from the boy “you just have to go on a date with me” 

then he winks 

and he's gone

“what in the holy fuck just happened?” 

the amount of time that y/n has said wtf is unbelievable 

haechan’s sunglasses slip down the bridge of nose and you could see his red eyes giving you a look of disappointment, “and you say i have issues” 

“stfu before i slit your throat” 

the rest of the day wasn’t any easier on you tbh. you learned that jaemin was really really stubborn and very very clingy 

the boy deadass scanned the whole hallway to find your face so he could tag along with you to your next class even though you could have sworn that his class was one the other side of the school 

he kept on bombarding you with questions on what you wanted to get after school and if you like roller skating 

by some means, you were able to hide in the library for the rest of the study hall period which meant that you could probably avoid jaemin until school ended 

you spotted a familiar boy huddled in the corner reading a book that made you squint your eyes. 

marching over to jeno, your eyes just say “explain” 

jeno looked at you with like those wide eyes he does when he’s shookth bc the two of you never interacting in school so puBlicly

“what the hell is na jaemin trying to pull?” you whispered-yelled plopping down in the wooden seat next to the athlete 

jeno is all like????wydm 

and you explain your whole situation to him and he just lets out the biggest sigh 

“he doesn’t like being left on read” 

“what do you mean?” 

“i mean, that’s what you basically did to him sophomore year. he was kinda depresso about how you just stopped talking to him out of nowhere. by the way, why did you do that?” 

tbh you really didn’t know at first you were mad at him

was it bc his actions caused all your friends to blame you for his inability to commit to a relationship,,, but it’s been two years since that incident

you got over it, so why were you still avoiding jaemin? 

“i dunno after him and ella broke up, i didn’t have a reason to talk to him.” 

jeno looked at you like “really? is that your answer?” 

“think about that question again because i’m sure that that's, not the whole answer.” 

now you’re more confused but also very mad about how both of them weren’t accepting your reason as valid! 

so as you were furiously making the stupid centerpieces that ella forced you into volunteering to do

angry y/n really got through a solid 50 of them 

you pondered on jeno’s words and you thought back to sophomore year 

you remembered still joking around lightheartedly w jaemin until he started dating ella 

he actually spent a lot of time and effort even ditching jeno sometimes for her which was okay cause jeno would chill w renjun or even you (mostly bc he could watch barbie movies w no shame) 

everything was alright until homecoming came around and jaemin flaked on ella leading them to breakup the next day 

and ella to stop talking to you which made everyone mad you or think that you were the one that caused the breakup 

WHICH YOU DIDN”T 

you were the one that hooked the two of them up too! so it was really unfair! 

it's like 2 am and you don’t know what came over to text jeno but you did 

y/n: why didn’t jaemin go to hoco sophomore year? 

you felt instant regret after sending that text bc like it probably made it seem like you were interested in jaemin,,,, which you were totally not!

seconds later jeno slaps you with the ”ask him yourself”  

fattest facepalm 

so that’s how you spent the entire night finishing all of your centerpieces that you were assigned to make cuz of your frustration

wow we love a productive y/n 

alrighty this is where shit goes down 

now that you were done with all of your centerpieces you took them to the art room the next day before school where ella was there doing her stoof 

she looked up with a giant smile when you came in with a giant box 

“you finished all of it?” 

“nah just 150. jaemins finishing the other half” you set the box down 

“oh okie,” ella nodded returning to whatever she was doing beforehand 

since it was just the two of you in the classroom and you’ve been dying to know the answer since sophomore year 

so fuck it 

“hey ella, can i ask you a question?” 

the said girl looked up with that same friendly smile that she gave everyone “of course!” 

“why didn’t jaemin show up to hoco sophomore year?” you blurted out 

in an instant, ella’s smile dropped and there was a sudden cold look in her eyes 

“you already know the answer to that, y/n, you don’t need me to answer you. now if you excuse me, i have things i have to do” ella said in a very unlike-ella-way 

her answer made you even more confused than ever bc how were you supposed to know the answer to THAT 

confused!y/n is even more confused 

however, all your questions were about to be answered, not really tho 

you’re on your way to the third period with the same burning question in your head: why the hell did jaemin not show up to sophomore year hoco??? someone help?  

tbh you didn’t even notice someone yanking you into the janitor’s closet until you were surrounded in darkness and someone's hands were clasp over your mouth 

“it’s me, jaemin” his soft whisper sent tings down your spine 

he let go of your mouth to switch on the light 

“are you fucking insane?” 

“yes, but it’s only cause i’m madly in love with you” 

you rolled your eyes “cut the bullshit, jaemin, what do you want?” 

“our date. you never gave me a solid explanation, so i want a date” 

you were about to reject him but then an idea formed in your head 

“fine” 

and with that one-word jaemin’s eyes glowed 10x brighter with his smile almost blinding you 

cheesy i know. 

“let’s go now!” 

the boy was really about to skip class just to go on this stupid date w you 

is he that bored? did he really run out of girls to date? 

but then again you really don’t want to go to math bc you’re pretty sure there's a test today that you haven’t studied for yet 

so that’s how you found yourself with jaemin at the local ice cream parlor 

jaemin INSISTED that y'all share a sundae, which he also fought you to pay for 

there a silence that falls upon you for a little bit 

jaemin breaks it though like he breaks heart (okay minnie that’s kinda mean) 

“ella told me that you finished your half of the centerpieces in two days. that’s pretty impressive,” he comments 

you nodded staring at the ice cream drowned in chocolate syrup 

“to be honest, i haven’t gotten much done yet,” he admitted, continuing to ramble on “it’ll get done. i might even pay renjun to do it, but i’m pretty sure he’s too preoccupied with this girl that he’s been pining over for a while” 

“speaking of which, are you seeing anyone right now?” jaemin asks out of nowhere. 

“lol i could be doing other things with my time.” 

jaemin observes your face closely taking in the faint blush on your cheeks from his direct gaze, “so what about that haechan dude?” 

“what about him?” 

“are the two of you a thing?” 

you nearly gagged 

“there no way in hell i’d ever get with haechan. besides, he’s having some of his own girl problems right now. he was being a little bitch about it too” 

“good” jaemin says really contently. 

“why didn’t you go to hoco sophomore year?” you finally asked

taken back slightly, jaemin softly smiles down at the half-eaten sundae

instead of answering you, he asked another question “why did you stop talking to me?” 

you gulp, but eventually, you had to tell him the truth even though it was kinda dumb and immature

“because ella was mad at me after the two of you broke up.” 

he shifted his gaze up to your own eyes 

“do you know why she was mad at you?” 

you shook your head

jaemin smiled again 

this time it kinda looked sad :( 

“because she knew that i was in love with you”  

[kp-moodboards]

spacey renmin

for @ekanda22

{requests open}

[panickedmarklee]

Honey, Honey | Part Twenty - Nine 

As if being the new student wasn’t hard enough, of course Kun had to go and start to fall in love with the ex-girlfriend of the only friend he had in the entire school. But he could push those feelings aside, probably. Anyways, it’s only just a crush and she definitely doesn’t like him back, right?

One Year : 

Exchange Student & Frat Boy ! Kun ��

NCT social media AU

Updates Everyday ! 

Part Twenty - Eight | Part Thirty 

an : some of you have watched wayv’s regular mc and it show, here’s the link goofs 

[uwuniel]

[8:33 pm] showing up to the NCT dorms dressed as Buzz the Bee from Cheerios because you and Johnny decided to match for halloween