#neglect // tw

[genderkoolaid]

This happened in 2022, but I didn't hear about it then. A teenage Black trans boy with multiple disabilities was murdered by neglect by his transphobic parents. He was also misgendered by the media when it was first reported, which is unfortunately unsurprising.

[punkstylerecovery]

Generally speaking, your parents often owe you a lot more than you're taught to believe. A lot of people are raised to believe that parents do not really owe you that much beyond food and shelter and that's not true. In fact, you can have parents who give you food, shelter, patience and kindness and STILL deserve more from them.

By being your parents, they've accepted a very special relationship and amount of responsibility for you. Do you know how many people I know whose parents have never genuinely apologized to them? How many people’s parents physically hurt them, how many people’s parents mock their insecurities, how many people’s parents don’t care for their children’s health, how many parents make their children (intentionally or otherwise) want to die? 

And so many people don’t give a fuck. We’re raised in cultures that more often than not treat us to respect our parents in spite of most anything while also teaching everyone that children don’t deserve shit. We’re raised in cultures that more often than not teach us to “respect our parents” in spite of most anything while also teaching everyone that children don’t really deserve shit. It varies but its so common that lots of people don’t even think twice about it. 

But children DO deserve more than they’re generally given. So much more! And so many things that are literally just abusive are considered normal parenting all around the world and that’s vile, especially considering children are the most severely affected by this and have no “societal power” to wield to put a stop to it beyond what they can scramble together through a combination of sheer determination, shock value, strength and fucking luck. 

Not to sound radical, but I think we owe children a fuck ton more than they’re being given now and I think people need to learn so much more about abuse and how that ties into the common underplaying of what we’re owed in parent/child relationships. 

[nightmarekilljoy]

I get neglected often, medically and otherwise. People don't understand. Certain individuals steal from me, make my life hard, don't let me do what I need to, interpret all my symptoms as some sort of thing I made up in my head because I think so much about it.

It sucks. My body is failing me and everyone ignores that.

So I started to return the favor to these certain individuals. I'm done being the good quiet person they can walk over.

-Amber (she/they/it/star/shine/rot)

[thesilliestrovingalive]

Updated: September 18, 2024

Reworked Character #1: Marco Rossi

POTENTIAL TRIGGER: Viewer discretion is advised due to references to neglect, self-harm, SA, death, and torture.

Real name: Marchrius Dennis Rossi

Alias: Intelligent Soldier

Occupation: Major of the P.F. Squad

Retirement plans: Foster a bunch of kittens and start a computer company that designs and develops functional computer models, artificial intelligence, and cybersecurity programs for both military and civilian usage

Special skills: Leadership, proficiency in lightweight firearms, computer science, intimidation tactics, and drunken-style boxing

Hobbies: Creating artificial intelligence and technological viruses from scratch, calculating complex mathematical equations and running times of computer programs in his head, taking naps at his desk, completing crossword puzzles, and stargazing

Likes: Cat cafes, his quick mental calculation, the warm glow of campfires, going on smoke breaks with Tarma, Eri, and Tequila, and subway rides where there are little to no people around him

Dislikes: Large lines in front of restaurants, being wrongfully distracted from work, spending vast quantities of time away from Perifa, computer crashes paired with slow Internet, and torture

Favourite food: Chinese noodles (preferably its mildly spicy) and barbecued burgers and hotdogs with onions and honey-flavoured carrots

Sexuality: Sex-repulsed, aromantic asexual

Gender: Male

Age: 17 (in 2022), 23 (in 2028), 25 (in 2030), 27 (in 2032), 29 (in 2034), 36 (in 2041), 38 (in 2043), 39 (in 2044), and 42 (in 2047)

Blood type: A-

Weight: 162 lbs. (73.48 cm)

Design: He's a 5' 7" (170.18 cm) Italian-American ectomorph with average musculature, broad shoulders, ivory skin, a cleft chin, and dull turquoise eyes. Marco has wavy strawberry blonde hair with a large forelock, sideburns, a chinstrap beard, and a left glass eye that's a lighter shade of turquoise. He has accumulated several battle scars: a few stab wounds on his right shoulder; vertical cuts on his chest; a deep slice mark extending from the left side of his nose bridge to the back of his trapezius muscle; multiple lacerations and severe burns on his back; a large patch of scar tissue on his right lumbar region; and bullet wounds on both calves and one on his left thigh. To cope with his emotional pain, he has a history of self-harm, which has resulted in the horizontal scars visible on his right forearm, hips, and inner thighs.

He's well-known for his cutting-edge, cybernetic left arm crafted from sleek, high-strength metallic alloys and advanced, artificially intelligent flexi-circuits, allowing for enhanced strength, agility, dexterity, and precision. It also has micro-sensors and neural interfaces seamlessly integrating with Marco’s nervous system for intuitive control. It possesses a high-strength, serrated blade made of tungsten, capable of extending up to 12 inches (30.48 cm) from the forearm. It can temporarily deploy an energy shield that surrounds him, providing protection from incoming attacks. This shield is powered by advanced capacitors and optimised for maximum efficiency using AI technology.

Marco's military gear consists of a white headband, a metal dog tag necklace with his name, a platinum grey sleeveless shirt, a crimson vest with four pockets, and khaki-green army cargo pants tucked into his combat boots. He also wears olive green paratrooper boots, a leather belt, mahogany gloves, a sheath for his combat knife, and a gun holster for his trusty handgun. His vest features two hidden strapped compartments, capable of holding up to two firearms, and boasts an embroidered logo of the P.F. Squad on the back. The pockets of Marco's army cargo pants carry two boxes of cigars, while his vest contains a gilded lighter he found in Gerhardt City, a black case for his garnet-hued reading glasses, and an old photograph of pre-teen him, his father, and his childhood cat.

Over his shirt, he wears a Soldier Plate Carrier System (SPCS) with a MultiCam pattern, which carries his walkie-talkie and ammo for other firearms. His right forearm is wrapped in worn gauze, and he wears two black bandoliers that form an X-shape, holding bullets for his handgun. Marco carries a khaki-green load-bearing backpack containing camping equipment, tactical explosives, portable ammo boxes, a canteen full of water, a Gatling shot, and a thunder shot. He's always carrying around a red-orange laptop, used to create viruses to breach enemy cybersecurity, other technological assignments for the military, and personal computer software projects.

Personality: He's a charismatic and cautious leader who takes immense pride in his high intellect, computer expertise, and masculinity. He's a self-reliant introvert who prefers to accept help and emotional support from others when absolutely necessary. His stoic demeanour is a constant, making it challenging for him to show humour or vulnerability. Due to being a workaholic, he has developed a harmful habit of neglecting his own basic needs, including eating when necessary. He mainly struggles with loneliness because he finds it difficult to form meaningful connections due to his exceptionally high intellect, which can make it challenging for others who may not be able to keep up with his level of understanding. He also struggles with major depressive disorder, trust issues, a fear of abandonment, and unresolved trauma stemming from past experiences. While Marco tends to internalise his emotions, he has learned to open up to trusted individuals when his burdens become too overwhelming to bear alone.

Despite his gentle and taciturn nature, he's capable of being ruthless and will fly into a deep rage when General Morden's name is mentioned near him. When interrogating others, he employs a menacing tone, his aloof demeanour making those on the receiving end feel uneasy and intimidated. He doesn't hesitate to wield threats of violence or exploit vulnerabilities, and with Trevor by his side, his intimidation factor is amplified. He's a socially awkward loner who doesn't tolerate distractions and has a strong fear of losing his current friends. When experiencing great distress in relation to past trauma, he's prone to having a full-blown mental breakdown and indulging in suicidal ideation. Marco tends to get stressed easily, which has led to him developing a chain-smoking habit. He occasionally struggles with self-harm and secretly binge drinks, consuming one or two packs of beer at a time, while hiding his alcoholism and suicidal tendencies from others.

He has a dry sense of humour that he rarely showcases, and when he does, his witty remarks often blend English and Italian. Having learned some Japanese from Tarma and Eri, he occasionally sprinkles Japanese phrases into his jokes. He deeply cares about his friends and will stop at nothing to protect them, even if it means putting his own life at risk. He finds great comfort in the presence of his best friend, Tarma, thanks to his breezy and optimistic attitude. Additionally, he cherishes his calico shorthair cat, Perifa, a heartwarming birthday gift he received from Fio prior to the Survival Island Occupation. He’s in a polyamorous queerplatonic relationship with Fio and Tarma, a bond that satisfies his deep-seated longing for emotional intimacy.

Prior to the Earth invasion by the Invaders, he lacked experience in raising children and was uneasy about assuming a paternal role with others. However, that changed when Celaphios entered his life, beginning to treat her like the daughter he never had, ensuring she felt safe, loved, and cherished. He often mistakes Sophia Greenville for his mother due to their similar appearance, and he's always embarrassed when he accidentally calls her "mom". Nevertheless, he's deeply grateful for the maternal affection she shows him, treating him like a son and unknowingly becoming the kind of mother he wishes he had. He finds comfort in spending quality time with his cat, affectionately referred to as his "dramatic little princess”. He enjoys engaging in playtime, giving gentle pets, and even using soothing baby talk to calm his feline companion. He's easily offended by people who rudely insult cats, going as far as to comfort the insulted feline and silently glaring at the person who uttered such words.

Whenever he's had too much to drink, he starts to act rowdy, easy-going, overly affectionate, and clingy. When sexual activity is mentioned, he reacts with extreme discomfort as he finds it to be disgusting. He’ll either become nauseous or start gagging, displaying expressions of strong distaste towards the person discussing the topic. If he unexpectedly encounters someone engaging in sexual activity, he often experiences a panic attack, feeling lightheaded and overwhelmed. In such situations, he usually tries to seek comfort and support from a trusted individual to talk to and receive a reassuring hug. This experience may also trigger unpleasant thoughts related to sexual matters, leading him to fear that he's somehow perverted and disgusting. He'll only lose his temper with others if they say something extremely rude to him or his friends, intend to hurt his loved ones or tell him blatant lies. Although he tends to have a pessimistic outlook on life, he sometimes manages to see the brighter side of things. 

He has a sleepwalking habit, often accompanied by vivid dreams of fighting or killing someone, which greatly annoys and frightens Tarma, who’s frequently the target of these nocturnal episodes. He dislikes flirtatious advances and has low tolerance for complaining, bullying or excessive talking, which can trigger irritability and extreme defensiveness. He has a commanding presence that demands respect, and his consistently serious demeanour can make him seem intimidating and unapproachable to others.

He's incredibly introspective and prone to questioning the intentions of his friends and his own worthiness of having meaningful friendships. He's a consequentialist who believes that all life forms are more capable of destruction, ultimately prevailing the act of creation. He also believes that all conflicts are gradually moving towards the equitable unification and collective strength of humanity. In his perspective, it'll pave the way for a new era free from violence, hate, and political corruption.

Backstory: Marchrius Dennis Rossi was born on April 13, 2005 in Twin Falls, Idaho, United States. Marco's mother, Katalina, was a researcher for a secret government project, and his father, Salvatore Rossi, was stuck in a dead-end office job. His parents had a distant relationship and had Marco, hoping that a child would bring them closer together and fix their broken marriage, but they often ignored each other and argued. Katalina had never wanted Marco, viewing him as an unplanned consequence and a responsibility that hindered her career. His father provided unwavering support and care, while his mother was neglectful and emotionally absent, hiding her true behaviour behind closed doors. But despite this, Marco shocked his parents by exhibiting a fast-growing intelligence at a very young age.

From the moment he opened his eyes, he muttered his first word, "daddy". He learned how to walk at 3 months old and showed advanced motor skills by 5 and a half months. He skipped object permanence altogether and completed his first crossword puzzle at just 1 year old, astonishingly understanding political terms. By the age of 2, he had memorised all 50 U.S. states and read two books in their entirety, demonstrating a profound understanding of their documented subjects: moral philosophy and psychoanalysis. By 4, he was answering calculus-level questions and describing his feelings about endangered animals in zoos with sophisticated vocabulary.

From the age of 2, he would occasionally see a pair of glowing red eyes in darkened corners or places drenched in darkness. He described them as always watching him and swore that they belonged to a living, breathing creature that seamlessly blended into the darkness. When he turned 5, he created an imaginary friend as an excuse to enjoy his alone time and avoid befriending the children who frequented the local park. This imaginary friend was named "Thomie", and Marco often drew him, depicting him as an anthropomorphic snow leopard with golden eagle wings and Komodo dragon legs.

Before he turned 6, his neglectful mother, Katalina, grew fed up with how "weird" he was. She was also annoyed by his persistent fear of a glowing pair of red eyes that watched him occasionally and his uninterested attitude towards forming connections. While Salvatore was away from home, Katalina took matters into her own hands and packed her belongings. Before leaving, she noticed Marco standing before the basement door, which was wide open. She investigated and saw the same glowing pair of red eyes, which terrified her.

Believing that Marco was attracting an evil spirit, she pushed him down the basement stairs and locked the door, hoping to contain the perceived threat. Abandoning Marco, she left the house, leaving him absolutely terrified. Marco tried to cope with the trauma by imagining Thomie, but according to him, Thomie never came to his aid. When Salvatore returned home and discovered that Marco was trapped in the basement by Katalina, he was infuriated. His father attempted to track down Katalina, but it was too late. This traumatic event instilled in him a lasting fear of heading down into dark basements alone.

During his time in grade 1, Marco struggled to make friends and often looked sad when he saw other children with their mothers, a concern his father noticed. To cheer him up, his father brought home a Turkish Angora with a black, orange, and white fur coat, which sparked Marco's love for felines. As a result of his childhood cat's fondness for eating bugs, he affectionately named her Grubley. At the age of five, his father introduced him to the world of computing, igniting a passion for computer science that would last a lifetime. Salvatore was always supportive of Marco and his passions, encouraging him to excel in school, chase his dreams, and make the most of the opportunities life has to offer.

Marco knew he had an uncle, but his father forbade him from seeing him. Salvatore had warned him that his uncle was untrustworthy due to his con artist lifestyle and struggled with alcoholism. However, he was permitted to visit his aunt and grandparents, who were incredibly kind. They encouraged him to appreciate nature and the simple things in life, rather than spending all his time on the computer. He has fond memories of his grandfather teaching him how to barbecue. His grandmother, an immigrant from Italy, taught him some Italian and often shared photographs she had taken in her home country before moving to the United States.

His father unknowingly sparked his interest in the Tuatha Dé Danann, an ancient race of demigods that existed before all life, and two antediluvian places, Atlantis and Ultima Thule. He would silently observe his father spend a short amount of time researching these fascinating topics when not working. Marco would eventually discover that he has a slight hint of Tuatha Dé Danann DNA, leading him to wonder if others might also have ancestral ties tracing back to the Hadean Eon. Later in life, he would learn that Tequila, General Morden, Tyra, Sagan, and Logan share this same heritage, also possessing Tuatha Dé Danann DNA.

He was bullied by many students for being perceived as "friendless" and for having an abnormally high intelligence, leaving him feeling isolated. A few students attempted to befriend him, but he rebuffed their efforts, fearing they would eventually abandon him. He also struggled to connect with them on an intellectual level, feeling like an outsider. During high school, he was involved in a few physical altercations, but he typically managed to defuse the situations with his words or, if necessary, defend himself relentlessly. Despite his school troubles, he excelled in all his classes, achieving outstanding grades in mathematics and computer science courses.

Before graduating from a state technical high school, Salvatore died due to health complications caused by an incurable disease, and Grubley peacefully passed away in her sleep shortly after, which devastated him. The last gift his father gave him was a red-orange laptop, intended as a graduation present. Instead of letting this tragedy bring him down, he channelled it into motivation to strengthen his resilience and independence. He began developing artificial intelligence to engage in online debates and sophisticated computer software, including anti-viruses and error-checking tools, as a means to earn a living and hone his programming skills. Marco decided to attend officer's school at the Academy of Special Technologies and subsequently joined the prestigious Peregrine Falcons Squad shortly after graduation.

Unlike many of his peers, he quickly distinguished himself through his exceptional leadership skills and computer expertise, earning him a spot as 1st Lieutenant of the P.F. Squad. This was also when he met Tarma, forming a fast friendship after discussing their interests, reminiscing on their childhoods, and having a couple of beers. Tarma was his first real friend, whom he holds dear, despite viewing him as a “maniacal gearhead”. Through his friendship with Tarma, he discovered the value of having friends and stepped out of his comfort zone to befriend the other members of the P.F. Squad and Regular Army. 

During his time in the P.F. Squad, Marco created a computer virus for fun, which inadvertently spread to the Regular Army's mainframe server. The virus destroyed several security systems, compromised the lowest echelons of the Regular Army, and nearly triggered the launch of a nuclear missile. Fortunately, a military scout named Trevor, whom Marco would meet years later during his recruitment into the P.F. Squad, managed to stop it. Marco refuses to discuss this potentially disastrous incident, even after a few too many beers.

When the Amadeus Syndicate served as the scientific and medical branch of the Regular Army, Marco met Doctor Amadeus, the organisation's founder and Nadia's clone mother. They had a cordial relationship, and Doctor Amadeus was particularly impressed by Marco's exceptional computer skills. She wanted to utilise his talents for a bioengineering experiment, aiming to create super-soldiers using stolen Martian and Invader technology.

During a battle against a terrorist attack, Marco suffered severe injuries and was taken to one of the original Amadeus Syndicate's medical facilities to recover. Doctor Amadeus seized this opportunity to force herself upon him to collect semen and DNA samples, leaving him deeply traumatised. The experience was so distressing that Marco tried to suppress the memory, inadvertently forgetting much of the history and purpose of the Amadeus Syndicate in the process. He also swore his revenge to kill Doctor Amadeus one day for what she did to him. As a result of this event, he began to act strangely anxious and slightly aggressive when in a hospital or near Nadia for prolonged periods of time.

During the first coup led by General Morden, he scraped together the remnants of the Regular Army government forces to reassemble the P.F. Squad. He became the leader of the governmental resistance against General Morden but at a great cost. As he, his comrades, and his friends were approaching the last known base of the Rebel Army, disaster struck. General Morden and his soldiers ambushed them, seizing the opportunity to decimate the remnants of the P.F. Squad, leaving Marco with mental and physical scars that would haunt him forever. 

Marco endured unimaginable suffering at the hands of General Morden, Allen O'Neil, and the Rebel soldiers, who brutally tortured him, gouged out his left eye, and severed his left arm. After experiencing a strange tingling sensation of familiarity, General Morden realised that Marco possessed Tuatha Dé Danann heritage. Intrigued, he discreetly collected DNA samples from Marco, which would later be utilised by the Amadeus Syndicate for experimentation in bioengineering and advanced military technology. The cruelty continued as Morden forced Marco to witness the slaughter and torture of his comrades and friends. Devastated by the losses and horrors he experienced, Marco teetered on the brink of giving up. He was even convinced that his best friend, Tarma, had perished, plunging him into a deep depression. 

However, Tarma managed to escape the Rebel Army's clutches and staged a daring rescue, reuniting with Marco. With Tarma's emotional support and his own newfound rage, Marco found the strength to keep fighting. Before confronting General Morden, Tarma built his prosthetic left arm from technological debris, but it took a couple of weeks to adjust to this new limb. Together, they became legendary heroes, ultimately defeating Morden and restoring world peace. Marco's bravery earned him the distinguished title of Major.

Marco continued to lead the P.F. Squad together with Tarma, who is the true linchpin of the special army strike force. Alongside Tarma and two new recruits, Fio and Eri, Marco took part in a second mission that thwarted General Morden's second coup before it could even begin. Following this success, Marco attempted to resign, but his higher-ups quickly denied his request. They insisted on his participation in a mission to eliminate the remaining remnants of the Rebel Army and other operations addressing threats to global peace such as the Pipovulaj Army.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

im sorry for the rant but im just really fucking tired and i guess that blog from that last ask set off smth in our brain so just tw talk about ableism and abuse ect ect yknow

anyways people who demonize people with cluster b pds are genuinely just the most annoying mfs on the planet theres an extremely high likelyhood both my parents are cluster b (my mom possibly having bpd and my dad possibly having npd) and theyve both been horrifically abusive throughout my entire life and you will never in a million fucking years catch me demonizing innocent people or blaming all that abuse on their disorders. i can fucking acknowledge that my parents' untreated mental health issues affected the way they raised me and abused me without pinning all the blame soley on those mental health issues. my dad ACTIVELY chose not to get help, he ACTIVELY chose to go off the medication he was given, he ACTIVELY made the decision to be a raging abusive bigot who abused and neglected his child and fucking traumatized every person he came into contact with. that was his fucking decision, possible npd and other mental health issues be damned.

and like besides the fact that i think my dad possibly had npd, he was actually dx with bipolar disorder and adhd, both of which severely affected how he raised me but you dont see me going fucking "bipolar abuse!!! adhd abuse!!!" i believe my fathers intense hyperfixations on certain things led him to emotionally neglect me as a very young child and be generally emotionally absent BUT AGAIN you will never see me fucking calling what he did "adhd abuse" and also he fucking chose to not spend time with me, he chose to not be there for me even when he couldve been. my father was a physically, emotionally, psychologically abusive and neglectful piece of shit and i fucking refuse to ever call when he did "narcissistic abuse" because i refuse to ever let a disorder he possibly had take away responsibility for the pain he caused me and so many other people in my life. he could have been better. he fucking chose not to be better. i will not fucking do the same.

im just so fucking angry that ive been out here experiencing all the shit these fuckers are talking about and i still managed to not demonize innocent people with disorders they didnt ask to have who did absolutely fucking nothing to no one. rant over. love you all go drink some water

[artbean]

@eddiemonth day 2: friendship

Outcasts stick together. (tw for loss of a parent under the cut)

Maybe your mom dies, your dad gets arrested and you wind up on your Uncle's doorstep with your hair buzzed off and shoes that pinch your toes. But when you turn up to the first day of school a week later, your friend's got new tapes for his walkman and quietly lets you use it in the library at lunch. After school, before his mom's gotten off work, you stop at 7/11 for a pop to share while you read The Hobbit to him and count the yellow cars that drive by while you sit at the curb.

And maybe everything’s different and will never be how it once was, but maybe this is the one thing that will stay the same. You can sit with your friend after school drinking coke and reading Tolkien and talking about your shitty dads, and it might not make the load any lighter but at least you’re not the only one carrying it for a while.

When his mom invites you to sleep over that night, she makes you a grilled cheese sandwich, and it’s less brown than your mama made you, but it tastes like home anyway. She crafts you a nest of quilts in his room, worn soft and smelling like fresh linen. You’ll take turns listening to his walkman until one of you finally falls asleep, because neither of you have gotten used to a quiet home at night.

As the music slows with the dying battery, distorting but with the core of the song remaining unchanged, you drift off alongside it.

[bizlybebo]

incredibly specific and honestly i know im reading too far into it because it's just because of his powers but knowing of dakota's past and the situation he grew up in after the resurgence. i feel like there's something to say about how much/how fast he eats. like food hoarding and overeating when food is accessible/freely available can be a huge thing for kids who have been neglected and it just fucks me up to think about through that lens

[castiellesbian]

Do you ever remember that Sam and Dean grew up in motel rooms, often left alone for days or even weeks at a time, including during holidays where Dean had to break in someone's house to steal presents, and Dean had to steal food, and Sam never knew of a home, and they never had any friends their own age because they had to move all the time, do you ever remember this information and feel like losing your mind?

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

“most case of child/teen/young person with mental health issues who here get mental health care, majority have parents/families that need mental health care even more. so if young person here for mental health care, parents/family must also sign up for mental health care.” *

good thing in theory. amount of parental abuse neglect manipulate & unresolved trauma project on child & jealous of child, etc.

but. case like me, who severe disable who struggle communicate take care self who no “normal” future.

how many therapists parents mandatory see would instead sympathize with parents who abuse and refuse listen understand and play victim? how many therapists would think parents right and it not abuse and they actually victim and feel sorry for them? how many therapists will agree with parents and affirm parents and give parents more confident continue do same more things?

*= it a photo of one hospital policy see online. you probably won’t need this hospital am talk about.

[constantvariations]

Volume 9 in a nutshell

[nihilismtrcit]

introducing...eden louise “edie lou” ferraro 

gen 1: aries for the another zodiac legacy challenge by @acuar-io

since childhood, seeking out attention was a constant in eden louise ferraro’s life. her parents didn’t engage with her, rarely made her feel wanted. so she became the type of person who would seek out any attention, positive or negative. she’s a needy girl with an almost pathological desire to be noticed. of course, her hot-headed temper and mean attitude (that especially rears its head when eden feels vulnerable) make it difficult to maintain friendships, let alone romantic relationships. 

after making the move from sandy oasis springs to the spice district of san myshuno, eden decided she’d get the attention she so desperately craved by any means necessary. now an internet personality with aspirations of becoming fabulously wealthy, eden louise - self nicknamed edie lou - spends her days: 

trying to turn her social media career into fortune

cuddling and dressing up her bby chihuahua, clover (bites)

gaming, streaming, vlogging

keeping it tight to flex on social media 

seeking out validation in the form of romantic relationships and/or money

&& generally oscillating between being an overly attached lover and a messy gal ;)

[ethvns]

[ ETHAN SHEPHARD. 28. CIS MAN. HE/HIM ] is here! They’ve lived in Asbury Park for [ 28 YEARS ] and are originally from [ ASBURY PARK, NJ ]. They are a [ DRUG DEALER ] and in their downtime love [ PLAYING BASKETBALL ] and [ STARTING BEEF ON REDDIT ]. They look a lot like [ JACOB ELORDI ] and live in [ OAKDALE ]. The song that makes people think of them the most is [ I MEAN IT BY G-EAZY ].

pinterest. playlist. mobile navigation.

tw: neglect, alcoholism, violence, drugs

─── statistics

name: ethan shephard. gender: cis man. pronouns: he/him. age: 28. dob: november 10, 1995. zodiac sign: scorpio. pob: asbury park, nj. current residence: oakdale. occupation: drug dealer. orientation: heterosexual. height: 6'5''. build: muscular. distinguishing features: a scar above his left brow from that one time he drank half a bottle of tequila and tried to do a kickflip. this tattoo on the back of his neck. probably has something like this on his chest with wings on either side and a cringy quote about how god is the only one who can judge him.

─── personality

positive traits: assertive, resourceful, independent, resilient.

negative traits: selfish, dishonest, reckless, pigheaded.

likes: menthol cigarettes, pineapple on pizza, breaking bad, tony hawk, r/fuckaroundandfindout. VERY passionate about the dark knight trilogy.

dislikes: pretentious people, speed limits, cops, musicals, people who bring their screaming kids out in public.

ethan is the kind of person your parents warned you not to be friends with; the type of guy who tells you his ex is bat-shit crazy when he’s the one who drove her insane. with questionable morals and few redeeming qualities to make up for it, he rarely does anything for anyone unless it benefits him directly.

─── family

william shephard ( father / npc ) a drunk, and a sloppy one at that. can often be found picking fights at the local dive bar.

helen shephard ( mother / npc ) she skipped town when ethan was five. he has no idea where she is or if she’s even alive for that matter.

?? ( younger half-sister / wc tba ) same dad, different moms. they barely knew each other growing up, but reconnected a few years ago.

─── background

growing up, ethan quickly learned that the world didn't owe him anything regardless of the hardships he faced - and there were plenty. his birth (a not-so-happy accident) only drove the wedge between his parents further; helen certainly making no effort to hide how she truly felt, her clear dislike for her son and william seeping into every corner of their shoebox apartment for five years straight.

that was how long it took until she finally up and left, only leaving a hastily scribbled note saying that she couldn't do “this” anymore. from then on, it was just ethan and his dad, who had his own set of demons to contend with. his long-standing habit of seeking comfort in the bottom of a glass eventually cost him his job, and by then, he was already known around the neighborhood as a drunk.

ethan's own reputation was far from spotless; his teenage years were filled with run-ins with the law and various stints in juvie for petty theft and assault. written off as a lost cause by most of his teachers, he coasted through high school doing just enough to pass, and nothing else.

he was 19 when he started dealing drugs on behalf of someone higher up in the trade, the promise of easy money and a sense of brotherhood too strong of a pull not to accept. he gained the respect of his employers, watched plenty of people destroy their lives through addiction, and even got his own hands bloody whenever a customer didn't pay off their debt in time. growing up around addiction in its many forms had more or less desensitized ethan from the sadness of it all, so it didn't really matter to him who got hurt in the end -- as long as it meant more money in his pockets.

─── tldr

asbury native. grew up in a broken home; lots of turmoil, a dad who struggled with alcohol and a mom who skipped town when he was five. a real menace in high school, spent a decent chunk of his teenage years in and out of juvie. currently lives in oakdale and makes a living as a drug dealer, selling anything from uppers to downers.

─── headcanons

once went to juvie for robbing another kid’s lemonade stand with a bb gun

every time he has a cold he turns into a frail victorian child on their deathbed

always carries around lip balm and applies it like this

has a glock 32 hidden in his closet

his tinder bio is just his height

his love language is physical touch

allergic to shellfish

default conversation topic: how charging more than $2 for a cup of coffee should be illegal

claims he works at some warehouse on the outskirts of town

has written exactly one yelp review in his life and it was 1 star for eclipse after they denied him entry because he was wearing sweatpants 

─── wanted connections

saltmate, party friends, people he's beefing with, childhood friends, people who know him from high school, ex girlfriend, ex fwb, tinder matches, neighbors, former friends, drinking buddies, customers !!

─── established connections

dating @fionamooore

smoke buddy of @turiya-collins

dealer/friend of @samfitz

[irondad-defensesquad]

he misses you.

he misses you, even though he sent you far, far away from home.

he misses you, even though he never comes to pick you up.

he misses you, even though he never welcomes you home, and he never hugs you, nor kisses your head.

he misses you, even though he never asks you about your day, about school, or anything you like.

he misses you, even though he never kisses you goodnight. he never even tells you a bedtime story.

he misses you, even though he's more like your boss or your angry teacher that throws away your "toys" or writings and sketches during class.

he misses you, even though he kicks you out of the room because he's working.

he misses you, even though he never praises you when you build something with your heart and soul.

he misses you, even though he never told you he loves you.

he misses you, even though he never said sorry when he made you cry.

you're a sissy. you're not a man. you puke when you first try to drink scotch. you don't want to build weapons, you want to build heroes like the knights in shining armor you love to read about. you want to build little robot friends because you have no friends at school. you don't know how to follow instructions, you don't know how to be quiet, you're annoying, you're pathetic.

he misses you when you're not here.

he misses someone else.

he wanted captain america.

but he's stuck with you.

and that's your fault.

[thesilliestrovingalive]

Updated: September 20, 2024

Reworked Character #6: Nadia Cassel

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: Viewer discretion is advised due to references to death, neglect, abuse, kidnapping, stalking, and SA.

Real name: Nadège Véronique Comtois

Alias: Ravenous Chatterbox and Boffin That Flies High

Occupation: Private of the S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S. and a tactical scientist for the Amadeus Syndicate (formerly)

Retirement plans: Become a professional forensic scientist, acquire a private jet, and establish an art studio and an ethical science lab

Special skills: Marksmanship, piloting, forensic science, knowledge of biological agents and toxins, and creating detailed, observational drawings of enemy positions and terrain

Imperfect clone abilities: At her own will, she can rapidly regenerate missing limbs and organs, minimising blood loss and restoring her body to its original form without the need for medical aid. Her blood possesses extraordinary healing properties, capable of instantly curing non-lethal ailments, skin punctures, and all manner of burns. When Nadia opens her mouth wide and flexibly shifts her upper and lower front teeth, she reveals four syringe-like fangs, which are neatly concealed within the hard palate. These fangs enable her to consume the blood of other living beings and replenish her own lost vital fluid.

Her body is resistant to all lethal toxins and pathogens. Moreover, she possesses incredible agility and can move at hyperspeeds. Notably, her pancreas, shielded by a thick layer of blubber, has the unique ability to produce a bile-infused silk. She utilises this silk to puke up robust, ensnaring nets that capture her victims and slowly burn them with its corrosive properties. Nadia’s hands feature reseda chartreuse eyes with feline pupils, granting her night vision, and her fingernails are entirely fleshy, concealing retractable claws made of an adamantine greenish-yellow material.

Hobbies: Painting landscapes, going on shopping sprees (she often buys gifts for her comrades and friends), reading books on anatomy, messing around with flight simulation software, and eating large quantities of food after each mission

Likes: Trevor, sweet and spicy foods, giving everyone nicknames, maintaining her figure, and the one time she accidentally ate a butterfly

Dislikes: Starvation, genetically modified organisms (GMOs), getting unnecessarily dirty, people telling her to “shut up”, and individuals that she views as scary and incapable of having fun (such as Tequila and Eri)

Favourite food: Coq au vin, phaal curry, and candy

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Gender: Female

Age: 12 (in 2022), 18 (in 2028), 20 (in 2030), 22 (in 2032), 24 (in 2034), 31 (in 2041), 33 (in 2043), 34 (in 2044), and 37 (in 2047)

Blood type: B+

Weight: 120 lbs. (54 kg)

Design: She’s a 5’ 4” (162.56 cm) French ectomorph with a gracefully thin body, small breasts, curvaceous hips, sloping shoulders, and a serpentine tongue covered in microscopic spikes. She has limestone skin and possesses feline-like pupils that transform into vertical slits only when she opens her mouth wide enough to reveal her concealed fangs. Her eyes are heterochromatic with her right eye being a warm amber, while her left eye is grey-green with brown flecks. Nadia has a few moles: one on the right side of her chin; one near the corner of her left eye; two above her left breast; one on the back of her right hand; and one slightly below her right knee.

She has raspberry hair with voluminous curls that reach her waist, but she often ties them into pigtails with stretchy reseda green hair bands. She has a silvery-pink birthmark on her left shoulder, almost shaped like a crescent moon with three protruding spikes. A large circular patch on her upper back is stripped of skin, exposing crimson muscles and purplish veins, and her greenish-yellow spine is partially protruding.

Her military gear consists of a metal dog tag necklace with her name, an avocado green tank top, and mid-calf socks with black and white zebra stripes. She wears Argentine blue neoprene gloves, reseda green leather belt, and a champagne-hued vest with the S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S. insignia on the back. She wears navy blue army cargo pants tucked into twilight lavender combat boots with spiked soles. She also wears a dirty white lab coat, black knee pads, a case for her stun gun, and a gun holster for a handgun. Her vest has two hidden strapped compartments to hold up to two firearms when needed, but they’re often accompanied by a bonesaw and a 7.62mm AR-10 Autorifle.

The pockets of Nadia’s vest carry around a pocket knife, a sticky note pad, a red pin, a black cellphone with a metallic green case, a blue pin, and a bag of macadamia nuts. In the pockets of her lab coat, she carries an orange-and-white cat plushie with blue eyes and an emerald green tie named Melekhai (used for stress relief), along with a small box of frosted sugar cookies. She wears a forest green waist pack containing a bottle of laxatives and two blood packs for snacking. Attached to the left side of her belt is a square-shaped pouch with a clear plastic window, showcasing balls of bubblegum and lollipops in different colours inside. The pouch features an amaranth pink outline, feline ears with bluish-white fur, a pistachio-hued strap with a black button clasp, and a metallic silver zipper.

Over her tank top, she dons a Soldier Plate Carrier System (SPCS) with a MultiCam pattern, which carries around her walkie-talkie and ammo for other firearms. She wears two dark brown bandoliers that cross over her body in an X-shape, each holding grenades. Nadia carries around a navy blue load-bearing backpack that contains camping equipment, portable ammo boxes, a canteen full of water, greenish-black gas masks for her teammates in need of one, a medical kit, and liquid and pill bottles of cures and deadly chemicals. She also carries around a painting kit, her mint green sketchbook with bubblegum pink polka dots, and a set of drawing pencils with two erasers and a sharpener.

She also wields a specialised rifle that fires needles containing transformative liquids, capable of altering humans into simian or mantis creatures. Additionally, she carries purplish rolling bombs that contain mummifying breath and throwable canisters filled with a zombie-inducing orangish phlegm that explodes upon impact. She wears safety goggles, star-shaped lavender spinel earrings that dangle from her ears, and a non-dangling peridot belly ring piercing.

Personality: She boasts swift wit and inventive verbal humour, often outsmarting her foes with clever sabotage tactics. Despite being a childish, happy-go-lucky, and sassy goofball, she has a surprisingly intelligent and cynical side, but she loves to indulge her silly and jubilant nature. Due to her fondness for her exceptional intellect, she sometimes perceives other people as “intellectually inferior” to herself. She conceals her bitterness and wariness of strangers behind a facade of playful teasing, mischievous pranks, sarcastic remarks, and a charming smile. She cherishes her friendship with Trevor, who is her first true best friend. She appreciates his laid-back nature and ability to understand her effortlessly. Over time, she has developed subtle romantic feelings for him, largely due to his hacking expertise and the enjoyable quality time they share. However, she has become adept at concealing these emotions.

She demonstrates her loyalty to her friends by nurturing their relationships and showing platonic affection, often showering them with hugs and kisses. She's a fearless advocate for herself and others, refusing to tolerate bullying or any form of mistreatment, and will boldly speak out against it. She has a fondness for assigning nicknames to those around her, including friends and foes alike. For instance, she has nicknamed Marco as "Markie", Tarma as "Tarms", Eri as "Rie", Fio as "Fifi", Trevor as "Trevie", Ralf as "Ralfeezy", Clark as "Clarkster", Hyakutaro as "Hyaro", Tequila as "Tequi", Gimlet as "Gimbo", Red Eye as "Dey-Dey", Walter as “Walty”, Tyra as “Rara”, Madoka as “Doka”, General Morden as "Mordy", Allen O'Neil as "Allio", and Ptolemaios as "Ptolema".

She's a friendly, humorous, and talkative busybody with a passion for creative expression and thrill-seeking adventures, which give her a taste of what it truly means to live. Despite efforts to maintain her supermodel figure, she has developed mild bulimia nervosa; while trying to resist the urge, she sometimes purges after eating. Additionally, she struggles with obsessive-compulsive disorder, manifesting as a fear of contamination, anxiety about misplacing valuable items, and a need for order and balance. She also experiences distressing thoughts, including fears of losing control, harming loved ones, and intrusive thoughts about sexual subjects. Whenever she hears about child abuse or unethical experiments, she becomes visibly shaken, her mind goes numb, and she withdraws socially for a few hours, succumbing to a melancholic state.

She takes a disturbing pleasure in obliterating her enemies, often letting out a maniacal laugh as she does so. Outside of military work, she often dodges unwanted tasks by concocting elaborate schemes (frequently with Trevor's help) to avoid them. However, her plans often backfire, resulting in trouble for neglecting her duties. Moreover, she has a tendency to slack off during missions, especially when she becomes bored and her attention wanders to more exciting things. When she gets into trouble, especially when it involves people she has convinced to join her antics, she often tries to deflect responsibility by feigning innocence and shifting the blame onto others.

She possesses a fairly compassionate, laid-back disposition, which she only reveals to those closest to her. She's overconfident about her looks and seems unfazed by how people react to her inhuman features, yet she draws the line at absurd and unattainable beauty standards. She's deadly serious when needed and isn't afraid to intimidate people or berate individuals for doing something irrational or dangerous. She has a strong disdain for individuals who exhibit predatory behaviour, such as perverts and stalkers, and is unafraid to call them out and mock their actions mercilessly. She despises unnecessary secrecy and eugenics, opposing the lack of transparency and the racist underpinnings of genetic manipulation aimed at "improving" human populations.

She's quite gluttonous and becomes quickly hangry when she's extremely hungry and there's nothing to eat at the moment. She's an eavesdropper with a curious habit of inspecting, poking, probing, and even biting anything that piques her interest. She grapples with touch starvation, feeling emotionally isolated from others, and deeply dislikes being overlooked or ignored by those around her. She harbours intense resentment towards her mother due to her neglectful behaviour and excessive focus on satisfying scientific curiosity, which comes at the expense of considering others' needs and forming meaningful connections with them. She’s appalled by her mother's callous disregard for the pain she inflicts on others as well as the secrecy surrounding their family's lineage and her status as an imperfect clone.

Backstory: Nadège Véronique Comtois was born on August 6, 2010 in Quimper, France. She was created in a test tube through advanced Martian cloning technology and the DNA of Ghyslaine Laëtitia Comtois, her clone mother and founder of the Amadeus Syndicate, in an underground laboratory. Initially, Ghyslaine's interest in Nadège was rooted in scientific curiosity. She conducted psychological and sociological experiments to explore the similarities and differences between them. Ghyslaine would overfeed Nadège, only to discover that her daughter had an abnormal metabolism, making it challenging for her to gain weight. Unintentionally, Ghyslaine fueled Nadège's affection for junk food. At age 7, Ghyslaine subjected Nadège to a disturbing and unethical experiment, forcibly inducing puberty and sterilising her daughter as part of a eugenics test. During this period, Nadège longed to experience the outside world and connect with her clone mother. Unfortunately, Ghyslaine's focus on research led her to neglect Nadège’s emotional needs. She treated her more like a guinea pig than a human being, providing minimal motherly comfort and attention.

At the age of 9, Ghyslaine decided it was time for Nadège to explore the outside world, which filled her clone daughter with excitement. Together, Nadège experienced her first-ever outing to a shopping district and explored several notable attractions in Quimper, including the Breton County Museum, the Fine Arts Museum, and the Faience Museum. She received Melekhai as a reward for being well-behaved, and she still holds onto the plushie very dearly since it was the first heartfelt gift her clone mother gave her. Her experience with the outside world sparked Nadège’s curiosity in modelling and the creative arts.

However, her mother had other plans. Ghyslaine envisioned Nadège following in her footsteps as a renowned scientist and eventual heir to the Amadeus Syndicate. To nurture this ambition, Ghyslaine frequently presented Nadège with books on biology and chemistry, encouraging her to delve into the sciences. She encouraged Nadège to cover the unusual features on her palms and upper back by wearing neoprene gloves and modest clothing in order to avoid drawing unnecessary attention or judgement from others.

By the age of 11, Nadège had become proficient in biology and chemistry, thanks to her mother's guidance. She began attending school after being previously homeschooled by Ghyslaine and other Amadeus Syndicate scientists. Although her school years were uneventful, Nadia occasionally faced bullying due to her intense interests in science, modelling, and the creative arts, as well as her unusual habit of wearing neoprene gloves to conceal her hand-eyes.

However, the bullying ceased after rumours circulated that she had intimidated and bitten a school bully by revealing her hidden snake fangs—a claim that was surprisingly true. Nadège’s clone mother was indifferent to her academic pursuits but drew a firm line at harming others and divulging confidential information about the Amadeus Syndicate. When Ghyslaine learned about this incident, she smacked her in the face, then confined her to a padded room with two blood bags and a fresh corpse for three hours. As dinnertime approached, Nadège's hunger grew, leading her to make the desperate decision to consume the contents of the blood bags and feed on the fresh corpse.

During her high school years, Nadège frequently skipped classes to go shopping, feeling that she already possessed a strong grasp of the material being taught in her courses. To avoid arousing suspicion about her exceptional intelligence, she intentionally performed poorly on a few tests. During this time, she experienced significant weight gain, which unfortunately led to bullying and negative comments about her appearance. However, she handled the situation with confidence and resilience, effectively standing up for herself and dismissing the hurtful remarks. After completing high school, she promptly enrolled in a two-year college art program, specialising in landscape drawing for animation studios, before pursuing forensic science at the university level.

During her forensic studies at university, Nadège unexpectedly became an e-celeb supermodel who goes by the name of Nadia Cassel, doing so for the sheer enjoyment of it. Although her rise to fame was modest at best, she didn't mind, as she revelled in the opportunity to be herself and try something new. She formed a close bond with a fan from Launceston, Tasmania, Australia, Ophelia Clementine Rourke (whom she affectionately calls Ophie), who would later become a fighter plane pilot in the Regular Army.

However, as her fame as an e-celeb supermodel grew, she started to attract unwanted attention from predatory individuals, which caused her significant distress. Her situation intensified when she inadvertently revealed her hand-eyes during a livestream, leading to an escalation of online harassment. After a deranged fan attempted to kidnap and sexually assault her, she empowered herself by obtaining a gun licence and rigorously training to use a firearm, becoming a skilled markswoman.

The stress of her forensic studies and the pressures of being a supermodel took a toll on Nadia's mental health, leading to the development of OCD and bulimia nervosa. Her struggles with maintaining a strict diet, keeping her model-worthy figure, and need for control became overwhelming. Eventually, Nadège made the decision to quit modelling, as her mental health issues began to impact her studies. However, she kept the name of her e-celeb persona because she liked it. In a disturbing incident, she recalls defending herself against a stalker who attempted to assault and cannibalise her in her own home. The attack led to her involuntarily consuming the stalker's blood, unleashing a sadistic streak she never knew she had.

Once her forensic studies were completed, Nadia decided to pursue her pilot's licence, convinced by Ophie to join the tactical efforts of the Regular Army. After obtaining her licence and receiving military training, Ghyslaine permitted Nadia to join the Amadeus Syndicate as a tactical scientist. She proved to be highly successful, making a name for herself as she pushed the boundaries of scientific understanding in biology and chemistry. Nadia supplied the Regular Army with stable bioweapons, gas masks, and advocated for training recruits on the dangers of biological hazards. During a joint tactical mission with the Amadeus Syndicate and Regular Army against a bioterrorist attack, Nadia met Trevor and quickly formed a friendship with him. 

While searching Ghyslaine's office for documents for a chemical experiment, she stumbled upon classified test results revealing her true nature: an imperfect clone. The discovery shook her to her core. Further investigation led her to her clone mother's journal, exposing a dark family legacy of illicit collaborations with government agencies, inhumane wildlife experimentation, and development of devastating bioweapons and malicious computer viruses. Most alarming, however, was Ghyslaine's megalomaniacal plan for global domination and self-deification. Horrified, she contemplated abandoning the Syndicate, yet for mysterious reasons, she chose to stay.

During her work on a disease cure in South Africa, Nadia uncovered disturbing information: Ghyslaine sexually assaulted Marco, who was injured at the time. This traumatic event had far-reaching consequences, severely straining relations between the Regular Army and the Amadeus Syndicate. Horrified by Ghyslaine's actions, she defected to the Regular Army, dedicating herself to defending Earth against global threats. She vaguely recalls attempting to poison Ghyslaine by lacing her bitter coffee with powdered cyanide, but the plan backfired when another scientist accidentally drank from the cup instead.

She eventually joined the S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S. after befriending Fio and earning a sliver of respect from Eri. This was due to her impressive performance as a prospective agent, where she swiftly identified the chemical composition of a new illicit drug that had been baffling the Intelligence Agency. She achieved this by obtaining crucial documents and conducting rigorous, ethical experiments. Following the Survival Island Occupation, she provided crucial assistance to the hostages and kidnapped cadets who had been transformed into grotesque simian and mantis creatures, administering cures that successfully restored them to their human form.

[s1nfoul]

𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 . 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 . 𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 . 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐘 . 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒 . 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 .

meet  𝚓𝚊𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚎𝚔,  a  𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚟𝚎  year  old,  who  has  been  in  cloyne  for  𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜.  they  are  a  𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚘𝚗  at  𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚗𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕,  known  for  being  𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗  and  𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚋𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚗.  they  are  often  heard  humming  along  to  𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚗  by  𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚎.  residents  would  describe  them  as  𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚙𝚊 𝚠𝚘𝚕𝚏.

⸻   BASICS

FULL NAME.    jaeyong baek

PREFERRED NAME.    jae

BIRTHDATE.    january 10th '79

AGE. 45

ZODIAC. capricorn

IDENTITY.    cis man , he / him

SEXUALITY.    heterosexual , heteromantic

OCCUPATION. surgeon at cloyne hospital & former pianist

HOMETOWN. lived in vancouver, british columbia until he was 8

INSPIRATION. carlisle cullen ( twilight ) , gomez addams ( the addams family ) , jackson avery ( grey's anatomy ) , jonathan reid ( vampyr ) .

FAMILY. hyun baek ( father ) , sue jin ahn ( mother ) , aera choi ( wife ) , tba ( adopted child ) , tba ( child ) , tba ( child ) .

⸻   TIDBITS

parents were very much present in his life, he never went without anything and actually was lowkey spoiled in a materialistic sense. so he lived a fairly privileged life in that regard. however, emotionally, they were absent. there was no close bond shared with them, other than their desire for him to succeed and bring honor to the family name. so they really don't have much of a relationship, other than an obligatory exchange of holiday and birthday cards.

music is a passion he both enjoys immensely but also leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. he's always been musically inclined, which his parents of course eventually exploited. piano lessons were tacked onto his schedule, which lead to concerts, and constant critique on his flow and ability behind closed doors. he dropped all that while he was in university, though he still dabbles in his own free time.

always led an active lifestyle, the importance of treating your body like a temple engraved in his mind from both his parents and his studies. he's an early morning jogger, and also frequents the gym as a more practical means to blow off steam. if you ever need a buddy to keep you motivated, he's your guy.

perfectionism in an attempt to overcompensate for his parents' neglect has been an inner struggle he's learned to cope with over the years. it mostly bleeds out into his work whenever he's feeling overly stressed, and sometimes interferes with his sleep schedule, but for the most part, he's got it under control.

he's also struggled with letting people in or being vulnerable, due to how he was raised, so he may seem a little detached or hardened around the edges. but deep down, he's a softie. if anything, he strives to show more compassion and understanding to anyone going through hard times, to avoid being anything similar to the cold demeanor he was destined to bear.

while he isn't overbearingly hypervigilant, he is very much a Dad to the community. repair work or basic car issues? he'll saddle up to lend a guiding hand. need advice with adulting? he's been through it, and he'll share his experience in hopes that you'll come to your own conclusion of the right choice. want somebody beat up? well, legally, he can not, but he can pop a lightly veiled threat and flex his intellect to intimidate.

[nerves-nebula]

part of my color final, which was a little booklet where most pages were a new color palette