#nekole's talks

[nekole-doodles]

GUESS WHO FINALLY UPDATED/OFFICIALLY FINISHED RE-WRITING THEIR FIC? THIS DUMBASS!!!

I can not express to you how huge this is to me. I haven't officially updated that fic(called We'll Meet Again) since December 2022 and now I finally revamped it to be so much better ToT

I might do some small revising to the old re-writes of the previous chapters since it's been so long that even those are outdated now. But anyway, I'm gonna shamelessly(shamefully, more like) promote my fic(that is unfinished and only has 3 chapters ToT) because I want to post updates on my writing process on here and it would be mighty awkward to talk to no one:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43180848

It's a DSMP Tommy-centric fic where Tommy was cursed by immortality by DreamXD and has to cope with seeing jis friends slowly leave or die one by one until he is left all alone. He decides he's had enough of living in ghostly ruins and moves to the Mainland(which will probably be basically like an altered version of real-world Earth) because the Dream SMP took place on isolated islands that XD made to host the "game" of Dream SMP(XD was bored and used the events of the SMP as entertainment). Cut to the 2020s(DSMP took place in the late 1700s to early 1800s in this AU) and Tommy is doing... mediocre. He's trying to convince himself he's healing but he very much is not but hey! At least his house doesn't get blown up every Tuesday! Anyway, one day, Tommy stumbles across a painfully familiar face and realizes he's entering a new chapter in his life.

So yeah! Maybe check it out if it sounds interesting? I don't promise consistent updates since highschool should just get harder from here but I absolutely love this fic and would love to ramble about it to anyone willing to read it and whatever posts I make about it :D I'll post about it on here so you know the story isn't actually dead if I do end up not posting for another 2 years :>

I also have a We'll Meet Again Extras in the same series as We'll Meet Again that has all my old chapter versions, scrapped scenes, and stuff like that with a lot of author rambles in the beginning and end author's notes because I am a "Professional Yapper".

[trashcanreddiefan]

Pick Your Poison (Reddie Undercover Cop AU) 1/?

Summary: By-the-book DEA agent Edward “Eddie” Kaspbrak receives an assignment that takes him to Derry, ME in order to capture Robert “Bob” Gray, aka “Pennywise”, a notorious drug lord. Working with the local PD, he is partnered with Detective Richie Tozier, a wise-cracking, messy cop who immediately pushes Eddie’s buttons. When they have to go undercover as a pair, will they put aside their differences long enough to work together, or will working together reveal that they have more in common than they initially thought?

Word Count: 1089 for chapter 1.

Warnings: Canon-typical violence (in later parts), swearing, mentions of drug use, other tags to be updated as necessary for each part 

Author’s Note: Slow-burn, Dual-PoV Reddie AU inspired by this gifset by the lovely @toesure!

Tagging: @yourpersonalsleepparalysisdemon

CROSS-POSTED AT AO3

“What does that even mean?” DEA agent Edward Kaspbrak muttered to himself as he sat at his desk, reviewing a fellow agent’s field report in order to transcribe it. He made a note to ask Franklin what the hell a ‘bananagram orangutan’ even was and was absentmindedly chewing on his pen while trying to make sense of the report when his extension rang. 

He quickly took the pen out of his mouth and picked up the receiver without bothering to look at the caller ID. “Kaspbrak.”

“Agent Kaspbrak, urgent meeting in the conference room, now,” the voice of the DEA director, Nekol Eastwood, replied brusquely.

“Yes ma'am.” Eddie immediately hung up, grabbed his coffee, a notepad, and a new pen, and headed down the hall.

He entered the conference room and gave a brief nod to his colleagues already in attendance before sitting down and neatly arranging his belongings on the table, noticing that the projector that sat on the table was on and pointed towards the screen on the wall.

A few seconds later, Director Eastwood walked in. “Good morning everyone,” she said as she stepped behind the podium at the head of the room. “Thank you all for joining me on such short notice.”

Eddie turned his attention to the screen behind the Director as she picked up the presentation remote that had been sitting on the podium and clicked a button.

Eddie’s eyebrows raised as a photo appeared on the screen and Director Eastwood began to speak.

“At 6:42 AM this morning, we received an anonymous tip that Robert "Bob” Gray, also known as “Pennywise”, was currently located in a small town in rural Maine, which fits previous intel we had been given about an increase in the number of possible drug-related deaths in the area.“ She clicked to a new slide, showing a map of Maine, with a star on it labelled Derry. 

"A small baggie of pills, all bearing Pennywise’s logo, was found at the latest scene.” She clicked again and a new slide appeared. On the left side of the screen was a crime scene photo showing a close-up of a baggie of pills on the floor of a room. On the right, another photo showed a singular pill bearing Pennywise’s clown-faced stamp.

“Agent Kaspbrak.”

At the sound of his name Eddie subconsciously straightened and his eyes snapped from the screen back to Director Eastwood. “Yes ma'am.”

“Since Pennywise is believed to be involved I want you to go to Maine and work with the local PD in order to find him and bring him in." 

Eddie sucked in a breath. He had recently requested to be placed back on field duty but hadn’t expected to be handed an assignment quite so soon, especially not the one case he had been itching to get involved in. "Me, Director?”

Director Eastwood leveled a look at him. “You requested to be placed back on active field duty, did you not?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Well then. You’re approved.” Director Eastwood looked around the room. “The rest of you know your assignments. You’re dismissed.”

Eddie went to get up, but Director Eastwood stopped him. “Agent Kaspbrak, before you go, a moment please.”

Eddie lowered himself back into his seat as the rest of his colleagues filed out.

Director Eastwood shut the door behind them before taking a seat across from Eddie. “You seemed surprised to be handed this assignment.”

“I was,” Eddie replied, “but only because I just submitted my official request to return to the field last week. I just wasn’t expecting to be given an assignment so quickly, especially not one as broad and important as the Pennywise case.”

Director Eastwood steepled her fingers together and looked at Eddie over them. “I know you’ve been studying this case for a while now and know the details and Pennywise’s patterns better than anyone, which is why I gave it to you. But if you feel like it’s too soon or need to start with something smaller I can assign someone else, like Franklin for instance–”

“Don’t you DARE,” Eddie hissed so as not to be overheard. “Franklin is an idiot!”

Director Eastwood’s lips quirked up in a smile, but Eddie was on a roll and didn’t notice. “I was trying to make sense of his field report from the Monterey cartel case last month and I swear, it’s complete nonsense. It’s riddled with grammatical errors, he misspelled the word 'grapefruit’, and he used so much correction tape on it that it looks like half of it has been redacted.”

He finally noticed the grin on Director Eastwood’s face and narrowed his eyes. “You weren’t actually going to give this assignment to Franklin, were you?”

Director Eastwood just quirked an eyebrow and leaned back in her chair. “How are you doing, Eddie?” she asked seriously. “Really.”

Eddie sighed and relaxed. “I’m fine, Nikki, I promise. I honestly feel better than I have in years. You know the only reason I requested desk duty during my divorce proceedings was so that I could be sure to be in town for the meetings with my & Myra’s lawyers since Myra kept trying to stall by scheduling meetings for when she knew I was out of town on a case. But now that the divorce is final I can get back to doing what I do best – capturing drug-running scum like Pennywise and putting them behind bars.”

“Good. I’m really happy to hear you say that.”

Eddie bit his lip. “I… I do want to say thank you though for everything else you’ve done for me during the divorce. You have no idea how much I appreciate you, and the therapist you recommended has been great in helping me figuring out who I am and what I want in life.”

Director Eastwood paused. “Any time, Eddie. Just because I’ve been your boss for the past 3 years, it doesn’t cancel out the 20-plus years of friendship that we’ve had and the fact that you’re basically family. You’re my best friend and I love you like a brother. You know you can always count on me if you ever need to talk or anything. You truly deserve to find happiness.”

“Thanks, Nikki.”

Director Eastwood stood and patted Eddie on the shoulder. “Now, the details of your assignment will be on your desk by the end of the day. Oh, and Agent Kaspbrak?”

Eddie grinned. “Yes ma'am?”

“Go catch the bastard.”

Director Eastwood shot him a wink as she left the conference room.

[thoughtsbegone]

Fresh.

Lights are now passing by my eyes clearly than I have ever seen before. It took me some time to fully realize this but I have now and, it's going to be a slow and rocky process. There may be times that I would look back and want the things that I had before but the things that will be offered in the future will be much more compared to what I had. It took me three years to finally realize my worth, so many people I have talked to, friends that I have lost along the way, connections that I have cut, and so much more. But all it took was one night, one thought, one emotion, and one person. I have done something that I have feared that I may do to someone, I have overstepped someone's boundaries. I know, it 's a small thing for other people but for me this one is big. I don't want to hurt anyone, be it as small as pinching them or as big as an emotional trauma. I never intended to hurt anyone and I don't think I'll be able to accept it as a thought that I have done it on someone, someone who I cherish and care for. Yes, I'm scared of doing it again and I will be taking it as a lesson to always, always check and to always ask for permission no matter how ridiculous it is, it will never hurt someone if you ask them if they are comfortable with something that you are doing with each other. I think that one scared me the most, the thought of hurting someone without me knowing scares me more than diving in the deep ocean and my phobia of the ocean is big. The thought of someone questioning and blaming themselves for what I did is something that my soul cannot fathom, that I myself cannot even accept even if it's small. I know this will sound ridiculous for other people but it is who I am, I have been scarred and traumatized by life that I don't want anyone experiencing that from me or from anyone for that matter. I know it's something that we cannot control, that we have no way of stopping but it may be something that we can prevent. It scares me that I have done something without me realizing it. Now, I'm taking all of it and leaving everything as well. I'm now walking towards the right direction and believe that this is the right direction. I have already told a friend of mine what's my plan and I'll elaborate everything, not like someone is going to be reading this after all.

Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted to be an Architect and now that I am on my way to being one, I want to focus all my energy and thoughts into it. The sooner I graduate the better but I also want to enjoy what college has to offer to me. I want to focus on the team, being one with them and growing with them as a drummer as well as an individual. I want to focus my energy into healing, self improvement, and taking care of my physical and mental health. It's not too late to turn things around and to finally walk towards the right direction.

Ever since I stepped into college, I was thrown into a whirlwind of emotion. I went through two exes, many flings, hook ups, talking stages, and a lot of failed attempts at finding someone that I think would be suitable for me as a partner. While also juggling my schoolwork, my own mental health, the things that are going around me, and finding the motivation to keep on breathing. But as days, weeks, months, years has passed by I kept losing myself and kept on doing the same thing over and over again. Until I realized that, I am in the place where I have prayed for many years before but I continue to overlook it because I can't seem to be contented with the things that I have. Now that I am, I realize what I have and I'm excited as well as happy as to what life has to offer to me again. I'm an Architecture student from Mapua, one of the top schools in the country. I'm an Athlete in which I have always dreamed of being since I was in 6th grade. I have friends who support me and who always has my back no matter what happens. Also Nekol who has never left my side ever since she pestered me when we were in 11th grade. I am healthy, I have clothes that I love wearing, my favorite shoe collection, pets that I consider as my best friends, and a Family that supports me. This is what I wanted when I was a kid and more, I wanted to be able to study in Manila. I wanted friends who I can go to whenever I want to. I'm out and proud with myself, I'm taking care of everything and I have it all down to the T. My plan is to Graduate, become a License Architect, create my own company, have loads of money, and become a Pilot. And this plan makes me happy, this plan makes me feel contented. As you can see it's not a full on timeline but goals that I want to achieve in life. That is because I believe that I will be reaching all of those things despite what life throws at me, despite what will happen to me I will be reaching that dream of mine of being successful. You may be wondering, why is there no room for lovelife in your goals and dreams? I also asked myself that question. I don't know why I never included a Special Someone in that dream and goals of mine. I guess that's another question that we will find an answer to one of these days. But to answer and not so answer the question, I will be focusing everything on me right now and I think that was an overshadow that appeared when I built that plan of mine. Yes I want to marry someone but not right now, and I don't think that time will come just yet. Love seems to complicate things and life is already complicated, why complicate it more. Yes, it will be good to have someone by your side to check on you, to tell you they love you, to care for you, or feel them holding you in their arms but, I don't think I want that for now. I have myself and I can take care of myself. In this journey the lead is me, in this chapter the main character is me, and in this life the one I will be focusing on is Me. It's going to be one hell of a ride, but I'm ready for it. I'm so fucking ready for it.

[myvalzpival]

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Fandoms:

Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Characters: Emil Nekola, Jean-Jacques Leroy, Michele Crispino, Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Ludo Bagman

Language: English

Published: 2018-06-20

Words: 2443

Chapters: 4/?

[sharpmidnight]

Ennui x Leader?

/Literally had this child in my mind for about 3 weeks and I love them so much. I will fight anyone to protect them. Now I have an opportunity to show them./

• Name: The name would be Nicole, after Ennui’s mother. However, because of a certain reason that I’ll explain later, some people will call her Nekole because of her being like a cat.

• Gender: This kitten would be a girl. Ennui is actually very glad about it since he doesn’t want to raise a boy.

• General appearance: She would have long black hair that reach to her waist and blue eyes. She also have some freckles on her face. Also has hearing aids that looks like headphones with cat ears on the top. Even a tail that touches the ground to help feel any vibrations or any other objects. (Leader was going to make boots but thought it was cuter if he made a tail. Ennui loves it.) And fingerless gloves that has claws in them. (Ennui taught her how to fight because he is very overprotective over his family)

• Personality: Sweet, kind, and quiet. I kinda think of her as a curious kitten that wants to help others as much as possible. Can be a little mischievous at times like hiding stuff or turning off her hearing aid so it looks like she’s listening. (If it glows, it’s on. But if it’s not the it’s off. Many people don’t know this.) Usually calm like Ennui, but more cheerful.

• Special talents: Has her father ability to be super flexible. (You see where I’m going with this, right?) Likes to solve puzzles and actually is a very musical person who likes to sing or play different instruments.

• Who they like better: She loves them both but only pick sides if she either agrees with them or is on her side.

• Who they take after more: Well it’s kinda a mix with being a little adventurous like Leader to being laid back like Ennui, but cautious. People are very confused of the child being related to a ragged mummy and a guy that looks like an alien.

• Personal headcanon: Nicole is partially deaf but with Leader’s help, she can hear fine with her hearing aids. If they break, she will use sign language communicate, but it doesn’t mean that she can’t talk. (She loves to trick people with that) She thinks that she wants to be an agent like her dad, Ennui, but thinks she wants to do something in music, like a teacher.

• Face claim: Demi Lovato.

[nekole-doodles]

I'm so glad that Q! Phil addressed the whole possession thing and apologized to the eggs instead of brushing it off to the side forever ToT

I feel like that was something that needed to be cleared up for a while now considering it isn't something you could just forget and not think about

[nekole-doodles]

I had a family reunion thing and it was actually pretty nice

1. I got to talk with my older cousins in an actual conversation that wasn't awkward and got to relate with them in school and music stuff

2. I was finally about to talk to my more distant cousins after we drifted over the years. We used to be pretty close and play all the time during family reunions since we were close in age, but we haven't been able to talk without it being awkward and short but we were able to talk a bunch :]

3. I was able to actually sing for my family for the first time and it wasn't actually that bad. Curses by The Crane Wives was really fun to sing :>

4. Also, I had to bring my math homework so I asked one of my cousins(who is a senior at the same highschool I'm in) to check it and then it devolved into 2 other family members trying to help me solve it. One was on her junior year of college and the other graduated at least a few years ago and it was just really funny seeing them try to remember how to do it

I haven't enjoyed a family reunion this much probably since I was in elementary school, so this was nice

[nekole-doodles]

List five things that make u happy and then ask tag 10 people you also want to do this/who interacted with you (if you want of course)

-🐞

Hi, so I'm not going to tag other people(mostly because I only have one person on here that I can comfortably tag in posts) but I will answer and let whoever sees this join in :]

1. Sunsets/Sunrises with fluffy clouds

2. Any cool art or animations/animatics I see for any of my hyperfixations

3. A well written fanfic that either has found family, a healing arc, and/or well written monologues or soliloquies

4. Finding good indie music

5. Making a piece of art that fits my vision or is as good as my vision

Thanks for the ask(you're my first actual ask) :D

[nekole-doodles]

I stumbled across some C! Karlnapity fanart and now I have arandom question because I'm really curious on what people say:

But seriously, if you legitimately, honestly, genuinely say that *Quackity* is the tallest in Karlnapity, you better be prepared to give me an ESSAY, A WHOLE A## PERSUASIVE ESSAY, on how he's the tallest.

[nekole-doodles]

Hello and welcome to my blog :D (This will get updated every once in a while)

She/her and Omnisexual :] (And chronically single, pathetically so. Probably cupioromantic :/)

Minor

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I mainly share and ramble about my AUs and headcanons for my current hyperfixations and occasionally post my art :)

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Main Fandoms(Hyperfixations): DSMP, QSMP, FNaF

Minor Fandoms: Hermitcraft(:O New fixation! Not Life/Traffic Series yet, sorry), Arcane(got demoted to minor fixation) Jujutsu Kaisen, Detroit: Become Human, Good Omens, Steven Universe(the OG hyperfixation), The Owl House, Gravity Falls, The Amazing Digital Circus, The Magnus Archives(only on Ep 16 ToT), Yuri!!! On Ice, Violet Evergarden, Haikyuu(more of an old SUPER hyperfixation rather than a current casual fixation but it still has a special place in my heart for being my first MAJOR hyperfixation)

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Basic Boundaries(I guess you could call them boundaries?):

Have a basic sense of human decency and common sense in comments, asks, or reblogs.

Reblogs and comments are definitely welcome, just no reposting or claiming my art(even though I doubt my art is worth claiming ahdksj)

My DSMP/QSMP posts are ONLY TALKING ABOUT THE CHARACTER, not the creator, please don't harass me in the ask box, comments, and etc about that kind of stuff

Also, a little less important, but I'm trying not talk about real-life politics in my blog and keeping it mostly fandom things since I don't really like talking about politics and I don't have the right to since I don't know the full story of everything going on and don't want to spread misinformation. This blog was created mostly to talk about my hyperfixations and share my thoughts, headcanons, AUs, analyzations, and fanart, so I will try and keep it that way.

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Ask Box: Currently open

You can ask me about my AUs, headcanons, and stuff like that :> Just don't be weird and have common sense when sending an ask.

PLEASE SEND ME ASKS

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Personal Tags for my blog and new ones will be added (individual AU tags are in the next section):

#nekole's rambles

#nekole's talks <- This is for my text posts that aren't exactly me rambling but just sharing my thoughts and things like that

#nekole's art

#nekole's doodles <- Specifically my art in my silly style or just simple drawings

#nekole's aus <- All things about my AUs

#nekole's au lore <- All my posts specifically with information about my AUs, especially lore dumps

#nekole's au polls <- This is for whenever I do polls for you guys to help me decide what I should do for an AU if I'm having trouble deciding between different ideas

#nekole's headcanons <- My headcanons for my hyperfixations

#nekole's analyses <- Whenever I analyze anything, mostly fanfics or characters

#nekole's ocs <- For the rare occasions I actually talk about my OCs

#nekole's music things <- These could be posts with music recommendations or songs that match characters or really anything music related

#nekole's dsmp-coded song series <- Exactly what is says it is; dsmp coded songs with reasons as to how they are dsmp coded

#nekole's scripts <- These posts have scene ideas in script format

#nekole's silly dono chat collection <- This is just a collection of my posts about funny donos or chat messages I see (mostly from Phil's chat)

#nekole's scenery pics <- If I decide to post scenery pictures here again(since some of them could leak my location)

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Tags for my AUs(more will be added as I talk about more of my AUs):

#fullmetal alchemist dsmp au

#fma dsmp au

#we'll meet again

#we'll meet again au

#we'll meet again dsmp au

#wma dsmp au

#wma au

#toh dsmp au

#the owl house dsmp au

#owl house dsmp au

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[thoughtsbegone]

Things that have happened since we parted ways

It has been two? Three months? Since we have last spoken. As usual, it ended in a heated argument. You blocked me out of nowhere which still angers me sometimes because I don't get it, but now I'm just "meh" towards the whole situation. A lot has happened since then, and I can finally say I have moved on.

I've decided to cut my hair shorter than before, and I love it. I'm more confident now, I received a lot of compliments from other people, especially my friends and Ligaya, who always says that I look pogi whenever she sees the chance. I also say that I'm pogi out of nowhere, and I get really happy because of it, I can say that I'm more confident in myself now that I love how I look. I started going to the gym and working out more, plainly because we need it for training and such but it also boosts my whole energy. I'm more positive towards the world and how I face things, my mindset has changed a lot and, I don't know. I'm more carefree now, happier than before. Classes still drain the heck out of me, but I'm more eager to work on it than bury it under the ground. I found lots of things fun now, who knew that I would get better at Valorant hahaha. I'm playing Genshin less but I think that's because I get to play with friends on Valo more than I do with Genshin. I'm spending less time with Angel, Karen, and Jess that's because we're all busy with different things in life. Karen is now living with Abi at Sta. Cruz, meanwhile Angel, and Jess are busy with their meetings at school. I remember how you said you're jealous of Ligaya, out of all the people! Haha! But I'm thankful for her, she doesn't know it but she saved me more than once. She helped me in more things than she thinks she did. And also Nekol, who we now call Doktora, if it wasn't for the two of them, I wouldn't know where I would be right now. I don't think I'll be writing this or even join drumcorps. Because of those two people, I met other souls who are genuine, caring and supportive. Pops, Wawi, Katrina, Belle, Patrick! All of them managed to impact my life in ways I could never have imagined before.

I'm still working on my relationship with my parents, these days it was more rocky than before. We fought more but that was because I'm trying to tell them more than I did in the past and opening up with the issues that I see with us as a family. I'm more vocal now, I speak up about what I feel, if I can't talk to other people I try to write as much as possible. It helps, believe it or not, it really does and it makes me happy when I read it again.

This is out of the blue but, I met this girl HAHAHAHA. I know my friends are gonna laugh when they see this but I did meet this girl out of nowhere on Omegle. She's 2 years younger than me but she acts like she's the same age as me. I kinda like her, she's a genuine soul who should be protected and cared for but she has this tough shell that's sometimes hard to crack and read but she peels it off piece by piece as time goes by. She's really fun to be with and I enjoy teasing the hell out of her, we have this banter relationship and I just enjoy it. I saw her for the first time last month and I had a blast spending time with her, I think we grew closer because of that but I'm happy that she gained more friends through me, a stranger she met on Omegle just to play valo with. She knows I like her but I just joke around with her because she likes someone else and I respect her, I don't push whatever I feel towards her even though my friends hear enough of me going "I miss ******" or "I like ******" HAHAHAHA. Yes I'm censoring shit because who knows who will read this. But if my friends are the ones who are reading this, you all know who I'm talking about because I taLK ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME. Added thought to that is, I'm more open to loving someone now. I went back to the yellow app, I know you know this because you swiped on me. Sorry but I didn't swipe right on you because when I said I no longer want any connections, I meant that. But I am more open on letting people in my life now, example is the one above, but I'm more cautious and I choose those who I give myself to. Right now I'm not entertaining anyone because I genuinely like this person and I like their company but yeah, if time goes by and whatever feelings that I have for this person goes away, I might try again. I no longer entertain the idea of having too many people to talk to, I guess I got tired of doing it a lot back then and would just like to focus on one person now. I stopped smoking cigs now, I remember we always smoke a stick or two when we see each other and now I don't. I switched to disposable vapes and I enjoy it a lot. I may have missed a thing or two here and there but these are the things that my brain brought up. That sums up the things that happened when we stopped talking. I hope you're better now and is a lot happier than before if you are with someone, then good for you. If not, then that's still good, I hope everything goes well in your life. I know your graduation is coming up, and I just want to apologize that I won't be able to fulfill the promise that I said to you back then that I would attend your graduation, but I will send you flowers when the time comes, and I hope you'll appreciate them once you receive them. I'm still thinking about going and giving you the flower personally, but I don't think that will bring anything between the two of us. I will try my best to send you the flowers that I have mentioned, and I just want to say that still, after everything that has happened between the two of us. I'm proud of the woman that you have become.