#neon carnival translation

[sassiperere]

Neon Carnival Seiyuu Talk Rough Translation!

Ei, tem uma versão em português dessa tradução, viu?

Hey guys! Neon Carnival, the Nu Carnival anniversary live, was a while ago and we had the pleasure of seeing Eiden’s seiyuu, Netoru Irakusa, and Olivine’s seiyuu, One Night Love. They bantered and answered some game related questions and it was generally a lot of fun!

My japanese is far from perfect, but I tried my best in providing a rough translation of the bit below. Please keep in mind my lack of fluency, therefore, the translation might not be extremely accurate! There’s a fair bit of guesswork through context, so please be considerate and if you spot mistakes you’re free to message me to fix them.

I refer to this translation by idololivine a lot for this. They translated from the chinese live translation of this and the host comments. Everytime I mention something the host said, it is taken directly from their translation, so please be sure to check their work out!

With that, let’s get to it!

Seiyuus come on stage in very high spirits, especially Netoru. Netoru wears a Topper mask and One Night Love wears a plague doctor mask (it’s kind of his thing, part of his persona). One Night greets the audience in Olivine’s voice and is pleased by their energetic reaction to it. Netoru repeats everything One Night says in an exaggerated impression of Olivine’s voice and mannerisms lol

One Night mentions how nice it is to see everyone with their Topper lights. Netoru questions why nobody gave him one and One Night replies with “well, why didn’t you bring your own?” Netoru then says, desperately, “NOBODY TOLD ME TO BRING ANYTHING?!” One Night says they might have gotten him mixed up with Topper himself.

Netoru greets the audience in various languages, ending with an enthusiastic hello in chinese. I felt especially close to this crowd as they cheered excitedly at a sub celebrity saying one basic word in their mother tongue (I’m from Latin America). After that, both seiyuus thank the audience, wish for everyone to have a good time and properly introduce themselves.

The host asks if they’ve ever been to Taiwan before. Netoru says that this is actually his first time leaving the country! One Night asks the audience what time they think they got up that morning and here I would like to give a shoutout to the people that raise their hands IN A HANG LOOSE like yeah dude. Yeah. EDIT: Apparently, this hand gesture means SIX in Taiwan/China WOW I would’ve never guessed!! They’re trying to guess they slept six hours! Thanks to idololivine again!

Anyway, Netoru says they got up at 5AM and went on a WALK (cute), but Netoru specifies that they didn’t go TOGETHER (god forbid anyone thinks you’re doing gay shit), it was mostly them mentioning to each other they each had places they wanted to check out and then they both went their own separate ways. They didn’t even know the other was walking around the same area lol (brave, I’d never do that in an unknown country). Netoru then mentions that everyone in Taiwan is kind and the food is tasty, there’s a lot he still wants to see but they don’t have a lot of time so he wishes he could come back someday.

Then there’s a moment of silence as the translator reminds One Night it’s his turn to speak.

One Night: “AH ………… what was the question again?”

Netoru: “??? DON’T YOU HAVE THE PROGRAMMING WITH YOU?”

AND EVEN THOUGH ONE NIGHT CHECKS HIS NOTES HE STILL NEEDS HELP FINDING WHERE THEY’RE AT I SWEAR. SMOOTH BRAIN MOMENT.

One Night: “It’s also my first time abroad. The food’s really good. When I got here, I thought ‘man, I wanna eat [dishes I don’t know]’, but now that I’ve actually eaten them I don’t really know what to do…”

The crowd starts screaming suggestions. Some yell TAPIOCA and Netoru mentions he’s had it! They do a little bit of encouraging the audience to give them more suggestions and then end with “yeah, I didn’t understand any of that” lmao. They banter a bit more about food.

QUESTION: What was your first impression of your character?

Netoru says he was really surprised to see that the clothes get ripped off as they take damage (this fucking SHOOK him, I swear, he said the same thing during the Eiden birthday QnA). Netoru does some BAAANG sound effects to exemplify what he means and One Night looks at him and goes “what was that?”, so Netoru repeats his BAANG and One Night GETS UP AND SHEDS HIS EIDEN JACKET, REVEALING HE IS ALSO WEARING THE NEON CARNIVAL COMMEMORATIVE T-SHIRT. Then Netoru gets up himself and TOUCHES ONE NIGHT’S CHEST, LIKE THAT’S SOMETHING PEOPLE JUST DO.

One Night shows off the shirt again and says it looks great.

Netoru: “You wanna take your clothes off this bad?”

One Night: “No no… it’s a bit chilly here :)”

Netoru continues, saying when he got the role for Eiden he was initially nervous about playing a guy so laid back and friendly (Netoru mentioned in the Eiden birthday QnA that he’s used to playing darker, moodier characters, so he was surprised to get one that, despite his sad past, is still really optimistic). The host tells Netoru that he’s quite cheery and friendly and Netoru says he’s feeling happy to be here. Netoru ends by saying that, despite it making him nervous initially, he considers this optimism a charming point to Eiden, which One Night agrees with.

The translator asks the same of One Night and I swear the ENERGY emanating from this scene as One Night crosses his leg like a Drag Race judge about to read a competitor to filth and going “OLIVINE NEEEEEEEEE” as the translator mimics his EXACT TONE. PRICELESS STUFF.

One Night: “When I saw him for the first time, what I thought- and I imagine I share this sentiment with many of you - was ‘what the hell is that SSR outfittttt???’”

Netoru: “IS THAT- IS THAT WHY YOU WANTED TO TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF JUST NOW?”

One Night: “NO NO NO. DON’T RUIN MY IMAGE LIKE THAT.”

Netoru keeps teasing One Night, encouraging him to get naked and One Night still refuses like NO DUDE STOP IT. They eventually joke around that One Night could do that as training for his role.

One Night says that Olivine is also very endearing and kind, so he was also concerned about portraying that.

One Night: “Also… when I was recording for the main story scenes, right? I thought well, this game… this video-game… it has a lot of sex scenes, right?! So when I recorded the initial Olivine scene I… kinda overdid it. I was thinking ‘wow, how are they gonna match THAT up with Eiden-kun?’ So that was interesting” (One Night refers to the scene as “kagami no shiin” which would be “the mirror scene” but… none of Olivine’s scenes feature a mirror? So… Idk if this is slang or something…)

Netoru: “... We could try it out right now”

One Night: “Oh yeah? Can we?”

Netoru: “NO NO NO, people will get mad if we do”

QUESTION: Throughout this one year, was there any event that was especially memorable to you?

Netoru says he was really surprised about Eiden’s event (I assume he means the one that gave Eiden an SSR), because he thought it was never going to happen, so he was super happy to see it. Netoru uses a weird term I never saw that means more “the event that IMPLEMENTED Eiden”, so One Night says “What do you mean?? He’s always been there?” and Netoru responds “WELL YEAH, BUT HE WASN’T FIGHTING” and One Night concedes.

One Night then comments that he really liked the new feature to add Eiden into the home screen. Netoru asks the audience who put Eiden on their home screen (EVERYONE RAISES THEIR HAND EXCEPT ONE NIGHT? LIKE? I THOT U LIKED IT??).

Then… something I didn’t quite get happens (maybe Netoru also thought it was weird that One Night didn’t raise his hand?) and Netoru asks One Night to look up, to which he says he can’t see much because of his mask. He starts a bit where he walks around the stage looking for Eiden and acting surprised when he sees Netoru there, so Netoru says “BUT YOU COULD SEE ME UNTIL NOW?”

One Night sips a little drinky… for quite a long time. Netoru asks “damn you thirsty??” and when One Night CONTINUES drinking he starts teasing him for it, saying he must be way too free to be doing that. He APOLOGIZES to the audience for his co-star’s audacity and takes a little sippy of his own drink, which One Love takes as a sign that he must too embibe, to Netoru’s utter disbelief. One Night takes a little stroll with his drink on stage and comes back to their seats like… whassup? He comments the stage is quite large and both he and Netoru go each to one corner of the stage to wave at the audience.

When they come back, the host says “so….. let’s continue” and Netoru replies with “OH FUCK YEAH I WAS TALKING”. Netoru continues his earlier point by saying that, during this event, we got to learn about Eiden’s past and that’s why he liked it so much. As a bonus, he mentions that he’s also really curious where Rin’s story in the main story will take them (casually drops that he actually plays the game he works for).

One Night: “An event that was memorable to me…”

Netoru: “Oh, it’s cool, you don’t have to answer this one”

One Night: “??? OK FINE, THEN I WON’T”

Netoru: “Alright, let’s move on!”

Netoru apologizes profusely for this joke and One Night says he isn’t sorry enough, so Netoru gets on his knees and prostrates LOL One Night tells him to get up, he’s forgiven.

One Night mentions there’s been a looot of events, but if he were to pick, he’d probably pick the Christmas event that had just happened prior to this live.

One Night: “It’s ‘cause- ok, before I say anything: who here stans Olivine?” [people raise their green topper lights]

This next line I’m not too sure on, but I THINK he says: “I imagine you stans already thought of this but… don’t you think Olivine’s been showing less skin lately?”

Netoru: “Kinda, yeah”

One Night: “I was like WHAT?! I swear it shocked me more than the story”

QUESTION: Besides your own character, are there any other characters you like?

Netoru: “Well, you already know mine, right?”

One Night: “You don’t even have to say it”

Netoru: “It’s Topper! I want to take Topper-san home!”

One Night: “I know… I KNOW…”

Netoru comments he’s probably super warm to cuddle with in winter. One Night agrees and says he’d like to put him in his bag and take him places, hear him make little kyun kyun noises. They continue to discuss the dynamics of taking Topper around in a bag like oh my god please give these men pets.

One Night: “My favorite character? Topper.”

Netoru: “hey………”

One Night: “IT’S ‘CAUSE HE’S SOOOO CUUUTE”

Netoru: “… wanna fight?”

One Night: “Oh yeah? Wanna go?”

They get up. Netoru starts warming up and, as he turns to face his opponent, One Night has the Topper lightstick that Netoru doesn’t have on hand. It utterly defeats him as he screams “I CAN’T WIN AGAINST THAT”

One Night says that his favorites would probably be Edmond or Blade. He mentions he knows Edmond’s seiyuu, he’s done some other games with him, and that he was looking forward to seeing that seiyuu’s performance as Edmond.

Netoru: “Naughty”

One Night: “I wouldn’t really say naughty… but, well, it’s a little naughty”

(They use the word “yokaranu” here, which I NEVER heard before in my life, but jisho says it just means “bad” so I ASSUME it’s used in a more… ohhh you’re so naughty context)

One Night speaks over the translator here but it sounds like “it’s mutual” before he backtracks and yells “GUYS IT’S NOTHING SUSPICIOUS!” One Night starts poking Netoru and saying “Hey… Netoru… Stop that…” in a whiny voice. Netoru says it’s the first time One Night’s called him by his first name.

For Blade, One Night says it’s really just style, he likes characters with huge bangs that hide their eyes. Netoru points at his face and One Night says that yes, he also covers his eyes, he can’t see much of anything with his mask on.

Netoru: “Let’s make holes for the eyes”

One Night: “No, please, I can’t get a return on Amazon anymore…”

QUESTION: This one’s for Netoru. What’s the difference between top Eiden and bottom Eiden? Can you tell us how you change between the two?

One Night, in an incredibly jealous tone: TOP AND BOTTOM…. WOW HE’S THE FULL PACKAGE!

Netoru says that he doesn’t really think too hard about it? The most important aspect is [looking directly at One Night] understanding your partner’s needs.

One Night: “Understand me. Right now, understand me.” (this was… actually kinda hot? lol)

Netoru gets flustered and reiterates that what really matters is how your partner acts, it enables him to play different types of tops and bottoms (which is crazy to me because they don’t record together so like… how does he do that?).

Netoru then does a tiny bit of an example of top and bottom intonations. BIG MISTAKE, NETORU. Now One Night goes “WELL, WELL, WELL, WHAT’S THIS? GIVE US SOME MORE!”, but Netoru says people will get mad at him if he does. THE FUCKING HOST, HOWEVER, PLAYS THE ACTUAL DEVIL THERE AND EDGES HIM ON, SAYING HE WON’T GET SCOLDED, IT’S OK!! And Netoru actually DOES some more moaning as a treat LMAOO EVERYONE’S DOING A NERVOUS LAUGH ON STAGE AND ONE NIGHT’S SAYING “THIS IS GOING A BIT OFF THE RAILS?”

Netoru does some more fake moaning and One Night says they’re sounding a bit too funny. BIG MISTAKE, ONE NIGHT. Now Netoru’s ACTUALLY moaning, making the crowd go wild and you can JUST FEEL THE EMBARRASSMENT COMING OUT OF THAT PLAGUE DOCTOR MASK IN WAVES LIKE THE FRAGRANCE OF THE HERBS THEY USED TO SHOVE IN THERE BACK IN THE DAY. Netoru ends it by saying that now the audience should be able to tell the difference between top and bottom voice acting (he looks really nervous lol) and that it’s really important to understand the feelings of your partner in the scene.

QUESTION: Olivine has some… audacious scenes. Are there any scenes or lines that became especially memorable to you?

Before answering, One Night makes a point to fix Netoru’s sitting posture, saying that he’s not a child lol

One Night says he doesn’t like picking between stories but there’s definitely one that was super memorable to him: the idol event! One Night sings a bit of the chorus for Summer Dream and Netoru eggs him on like “WHAT? WHAT? CAN YOU KEEP SINGING? I CAN’T HEAR YOU??” until One Night sings THE ENTIRE CHORUS TO US THANK YOU ONE NIGHT LOVE SAMAAA BLESS BLESS BLESS

One Night says he’s never sung many character and unit songs, so he was excited to get to do it for this event. He hopes he can sing more character songs in the future (EXTREMELY wholesome answer for what the crew expected when they put this question in, I’m positive).

QUESTION: If you had to pick a character from the game to date, who would it be?

One Night: “Wait, guys, we’re gonna do it on ‘go’”

They both get up and make a show to stretch and prepare to say their answers.

Both: “Aaaaand GO: TOPPEEEEEEEER”

Netoru: “HE’S CUTE AND WON’T EVER LEAVE ME!”

QUESTION: How do you feel after this 1 year? What would you like to say to your fans here and your fans watching you live?

Netoru: “Thank you so much for everyone who stuck around for this one year. I would like to thank everyone who loves this game and everyone who’s working on the game from the bottom of my heart. I hope you’ll continue to look forward to Nu Carnival! Please keep supporting us!”

That’s… the gist of it at least. Netoru then says “I love you” in japanese, english, korean and mandarin, with an extra “thank you” in mandarin.

One Night says “I love you” in mandarin and the crowd goes WILD seriously taiwanese people I got you so fucking bad you’re all my homies.

One Night: “I’ve only managed to do these amazing things this past year because of everyone who’s been playing the game, thank you very much. I want to come back and celebrate 2, 3 years, so I hope everyone will continue to play until then and the staff will continue to create amazing stories. Please continue supporting the game, thank you very much”

(That’s the gist of it lol)

Then they both get up to do the live reading of Olivine’s scene!

If you’ve made it here, thank you! I hope my translation wasn’t TOO shoddy and that I could be helpful in anyway! Please continue to love Nu Carnival, everyone!

[idololivine]

Very very rough translation of the VA Q&A from Neon Carnival! Keep in mind that I learned Mandarin as a third language in school and it's been years since I've had to use it. There's a lot of vocabulary I don't know and I'm certainly not going to know any slang, especially Taiwanese/fandom slang. And also the VAs are speaking Japanese so this translation comes to you through an additional layer of translation lol.

Eiden's VA (Netoru Irakusa) and Olivine's VA (One Night Love) introduce themselves, thank people for coming and enjoying the game, etc

Question: Have either of you VAs been to Taiwan? What's your impression of Taiwan?

Netoru says that it's his first time leaving Japan. One Night asks the audience when they think the two VAs woke up that morning. The answer is 5am. They both woke up at 5am and went for a walk, but they didn't plan or talk about it, they went for walks separately lol.

Netoru says that Taiwanese people are kind and he's looking foward to the food, but time is limited.

It's also One Night Love's first time leaving Japan. His impression of Taiwan is that the food is good. Before arriving he set a goal to eat [a meat rice dish?] and fried rice, but he's achieved both goals so he's not sure what to do now.

MC prompts the audience to suggest other foods.

They start pointing at the audience and going "TAPIOCA?" so I assume a lot of people must be yelling that lol. The two say they've already had bubble tea. The MC repeats something else the audience is yelling, but I don't understand what she said. One Night Love says something that sounds like "mapo tofu", so that might be it.

Question: When you received the invitation from NU: Carnival, what was your first impression of the game, or what were your feelings towards the character?

After Netoru answers but before the translator translates, One Night Love takes his jacket halfway off and Netoru touches his chest lmfao.

The translator translates their banter. I don't understand her translation for Netoru, but One Night Love responds that's why he came to eat a lot. One Night Love shows off his shirt by pulling his jacket off halfway again; Netoru asks him if he wants to take his clothes off. One Night Love responds no not really, it's actually a bit cold on stage.

Back to the question. I think the translator is translating for Netoru when she says that the first impression was wow, this game tears the characters' clothes, that's incredible. Eiden is a very cheerful character, so Netoru worried whether he'd be able to voice Eiden. MC remarks that Netoru is very cheerful, Netoru responds that right now he's very happy [and something else I don't understand].

Netoru repeats that Eiden is cheerful and that's why he was nervous voicing Eiden. However, that's the big draw of Eiden [t/n: I'm not sure if I understood this sentence correctly, so take it with a grain of salt.]

One Night Love: Olivine... (translator echoes: Olivine...)

One Night Love's first time seeing Olivine was probably the same as everyone else's first time: the SSR outfit. "Wow~ this character is very exciting."

Netoru: That's why you wanted to strip just now?

One Night Love: No, don't ruin my image, I wouldn't do something like that.

One Night Love protests a little more, though I don't understand it. Netoru more or less says "that's fine, you can still strip."

One Night Love says that Olivine really contrasts his appearance, his personality is very accepting and gentle, so he thought for a long time on how to get that feeling.

[The VAs banter a little before the translator resumes translating.]

Before recording they already think a lot, so while recording they use a lot of effort. However, there was a small misstep. When recording the bedroom scene - the game has a lot of h-scenes - One Night Love accidentally played Olivine as... too passionate [t/n: LMFAO]. So halfway through, One Night Love stopped to discuss it. "This way... would it be... not too good?"

[The next lines seem to be a translation of the VAs' banter. The ambiguity on who said what makes it hard to follow.]

Question: In this year, were there any especially memorable events?

I don't understand what event Netoru answered, but he says that he didn't think it would actually appear in game, so he's very happy.

One Night Love says something along the lines of "you make it sounds like he's never appeared." Netoru responds "but he couldn't fight before." [t/n: going off context clues, his answer to the question must have been Silver Miracle.]

They mention that now you can put Eiden on the home screen with the character you like. There's a bit of banter, and they ask people to raise their hands if they put Eiden on the home screen.

One Night Love takes a sip of his drink. Netoru goes "you're thirsty at a time like this?? aren't you too free??" and apologizes to the audience, then takes a sip of his own drink. There's a bit more banter and general goofing around.

Netoru continues that through this event, we [t/n: or he; it's ambiguous] can learn more about Eiden's past, so it moved him and let him connect deeper with the character. Also, in the main story, he's personally interested in Rin and what he'll do next.

More banter I can't understand, but then Netoru apologizes profusely. One Night Love retorts that Netoru isn't apologizing seriously enough, so Netoru kneels on the floor to apologize.

One Night Love: You can get up.

One Night Love says that there's a lot of memorable events, but if he had to choose one, it would be Festive Glimmer.

Netoru: The reason...?

One Night Love asks if there are Olivine fans in the audience. Audience members wave their green Topper lights.

One Night Love continues: fans of Olivine, I think you all know... his event outfit(s)... [t/n: sometimes Mandarin can be ambiguous about whether a noun is plural. He may be referring to all of Olivine's event outfits as a whole, or specifically FG Olivine's outfit.]

Question: Other than the charcter you voice, is there any other character you like?

He says something about skin color that I don't really understand. He got scared when he saw Olivine's outfit [t/n: presumably the FG one.] Compared to the story, this appearance is even more shocking. [t/n: I don't know if I understood this correctly.]

Netoru: Everyone should already know my answer.

Audience yells Topper, everyone laughs. [t/n: for those who may be reading this without watching the stream recording, Netoru is wearing a Topper mask.]

Netoru says he wants a Topper at home. Netoru and One Night Love have some banter that I can only assume is Topper-related. The translator translates part of it, but there's some overlapping speaking, so I don't really know what she said beyond "the stage is cold" and putting something (presumably Topper) in their jacket.

One Night Love: Me? Mmm... Topper.

Netoru jokingly threatens to pick a fight, but One Night Love defeats him by pulling out the Topper light that Netoru doesn't have.

One Night Love answers that he likes Edmond and Blade. He's friends with Edmond's VA, so he's excited to hear Edmond's VA's performance this time. The audience laughs, there's some banter I don't understand, and then One Night Love begins protesting that their relationship isn't like that.

One Night Love: Netoru~ Nee, nee, don't be like that~

Netoru: This is the first time he's called me by given name and not by surname

One Night Love likes Blade for a very simple reason: his appearance. He likes characters where the eyes are covered. He says something along the lines of yes, yes, he knows his eyes are covered. Right now he can't see much [t/n: he's wearing a plague doctor mask.]

Question for Netoru: When voicing Eiden, what's the difference between top and bottom, and how do you change between the two?

One Night Love seems to be complaining about something. I think he's jokingly mad about Eiden getting to switch, or in disbelief that Eiden switches, but I'm not sure. I have no idea what the following yelling is about, it's too fast and has too much cross-talk.

Netoru doesn't think too much about top or bottom, he mostly tries to understand the other person in the scene. One Night Love asks Netoru to understand him right now. Netoru lifts up his booklet to hide his face from One Night Love lol.

Netoru essentially says that it depends on the other person in the scene. With different people, he can voice act different feelings of topping or bottoming.

Netoru: Well of course there's some difference between topping and bottoming [gives a little example of both]

One Night Love: Give us a little more!

Netoru: I can't, if I give a little more I'll get scolded later

MC: You won't, you won't~!

Netoru does a fake moan. One Night Love asks him if he's being serious, it sounds a little too funny. Then Netoru does a more real-sounding moan, to the great joy of the audience.

Netoru continues, saying that with those examples, you should understand that there's a difference in how to voice act top versus bottom. However, in the end, he has to play to the other person's mood.

[t/n: they use 對手 for other person in the scene, which I understand to mean opponent. It's kind of funny to think of voice acting sex scenes as fighting with the other VA. I don't know enough about Taiwanese fandom culture to know if this is a VA term, a BL term, a general term, or what.]

Question for One Night Love: Olivine's scenes have some brave content, is there any scene or line that's more memorable?

One Night Love says that if he picks one he'll feel sorry for the other stories, but if he had to pick, he does have one that's super memorable. It has to be Idol Fest!

Then he starts singing bits of Summer Dream. If you haven't already watched a livestream recording, you should at least watch the part where One Night Love sings, it's so good.

In this event, the characters sing. One Night Love didn't have much chance before to sing character songs. He really hopes that afterwards he'll have chances to sing character songs again.

Question: If you could choose one character to date, who would you choose?

They say it at the same time: Topper. There's no other choice.

Question: What are your feelings on the 1 year anniversary? Do you have any words you want to say to the fans here at the event, as well as fans watching the livestream across the world?

Netoru says that this year passed by really quickly. He's very happy that he has a chance to celebrate with everyone. He wants to take this opportunity to express his gratitude to the fans of the game as well as the devs who work on it. [Fans cheer as the translator speaks, I'm not sure what she says.]

Netoru then says "I love you" in several languages, and finishes with "thank you" in Mandarin.

One Night Love starts with "I love you guys~" in Mandarin, in a tone that's soft and similar to Olivine. I don't understand this well enough to do a close translation, but the gist is that he's grateful for everyone's support and he hopes that as VAs they can keep creating beautiful stories. So please, everyone keep supporting them, so that they can have a 2nd year anniversary, a 3rd year anniversary, okay?

And then they set up and get ready for the live voiceover. End of Q&A.

[gayforjuza]

lots of important things in this neon carnival translation thread

[mylittlesecrethaven]

Reading Song Translations: Nightbringer

I'm gonna split this into multiple posts cause there's so many fucking songs.

I'm also adding cuts again cause it'd be too long otherwise.

Solos

Arcadia:

Catch your breath, on to the regular place Wait up, I'll make you dream, lady Don't you prefer me to him? Dyeing you spectacular colors Everything's alright, that's no lie (Like a dead end, gradually closing in) No tolerance for meddlers (It was a no brainer, but things aren't resolved) I want to be your number one But I don't think I know how to truly love If you were to choose one of us There's no going back, no going back In my dreams, you're mine For me, there's nothing else Deeply and deeply to my core Once you're addicted, there's no out Let's fly away from here and no to a place yet unseen This won't end as just a dream, lady Don't you prefer me to him? Falling for your bewitching colors Everything's alright, that's no lie (Don't be scared, look only at me) I no longer be swayed by temptation (Nobody knows I want only you I want us to be one But my selfish probably won't be fufiled If I drown in my desires There's no going back, no going back You shine bright in the darkness And that makes me strong Going further and further Once you're addicted, there's no escape Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Where is my lover? Baby Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You are the only for me Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I'm fall in love you with you, baby Chasing after my one and only you In my dreams, I'm chasing after you And that's all I can do now These thoughts running through my head won't stop You can't change the truth

This is literally Lucifer just saying he's obsessed but too scared to say anything about his obsession. He also seems a bit yandere, but I don't mind. At least he dreams about us.

Are You Ready?:

It's time for the party! Party! Are you ready?

Welcome to my party! Tonight's all about you So get rid of my coins I ain't need em' what I want is a sign of your love soon I don't need the key to everyone's heart When you're the number one in my heart I dig tsundere types like you

Thought it was gonna be a crazy party night That was a lie, everyone here keepin; it lit All I see are rivals here tonight But that doesn't matter 'cause this my carnival ride I hope you get what I'm sayin' My only one pride I ain't afraid to say it Hold me now

I know you like someone And it ain't me I can't win against My overwhelming feelings

I'm just crazy for you I'm just crazy for you I'm just crazy for you

Welcome to my party! Tonight's all about you I don't need no neon lights when I've got you What I want is a sign of your love soon I don't need the key to everyone's heart So kick off your heels I need you Come with me, so cute, my love.

Thought it was gonna be a fun party night That was a lie, everyone here keepin' it lit All I see is rivals here tonight But that doesn't matter 'cause this my carnival ride I hope you get my ambition My only one pride I ain't afraid to say it Hold me now

I'm just crazy for you I'm just crazy for you I'm just crazy for you

Into the great beyond No matter how far away I'll go and meet ya

I'm just crazy for you

Welcome to my party! Tonight's all about you I don't need no neon lights when I've got you What I want is a sign of your love soon I don't need the key to everyone's heart So kick off your heels I need you Come with me, so cute, my love.

Thought it was gonna be a fun party night That was a lie, everyone here keepin' it lit All I see is rivals here tonight But that doesn't matter 'cause this my carnival ride I hope you get what I'm sayin' My only one pride I ain't afraid to say it Hold me now

Oh Mammon you adorable simp. Also, I'm glad he notes that I'm terribly in love with someone else (that someone else being all of his brothers), but that really shouldn't stop him. Anyways, it's just cute seeing him so obsessed. Although, if all the songs are like that, Ima get annoyed real quick.

My Chance!:

I know you probably know But we're best friends And I won't hear any disagreements Yet why do I feel so lonely?

I don't think you'd be interested But it's so fun when we're together Our secret talks, the things you tell me They intrigue me more than what'll happen next in my anime

I feel like I could reach you, if only a tried Something about me is off right now I can't even remember How I used to talk each day

I don't think you'd tell me what you think of me Forget I said anything Let's count this as your own

I feel I could reach you, if only a tried Something about me is off right now I can't even remember How I used to talk each day

How should I wait? How much distance should I keep? I don't want this uneasiness All I want is bit confidence

I feel like I could reach you, if only a friend Today, I'm done with bluffing I hope you'll see how brave I've been Watch and see, the me that is yet to come

Oh Levi. Adorable, lonely Levi. We can be so much more than friends. And yes, gather your bravery and confess. This entire song is literally just you saying how nervous you are.

Read My Heart:

The days go by I want to tell you before I forget I love you are words I've seen a lot in books I can't find a way to say this well But until I met you I didn't know what it felt like to have my heart stolen And even then I pretended to not to know You've made me see and feel things I never thought I would The world I discovered when I met you Like restless waves I may sound greedy, but I want it all I pray to the days that go by I want to count them together with you so that they won't disappear "I want to be by your side" are words I've read a lot in books Just telling you is not enough But until I met you I didn't know what it felt like to have my heart stolen And even then I pretended not to know You've made me see and feel things I never thought I would The world I discovered when I met you Like restless waves I may sound greedy, but I want to see it all You gently untied My entangled, frozen legs I want to do the same for you By taking you in my embrace, as you are So don't go running off all of a sudden Like some stray cat You've made me feel and see things, I never thought I would I want to protect you As you color this world This is my song to you, my beloved

This is just Satan trying to find a good way to confess. And yes, this song is a good way. And don't worry, I won't be leaving anytime soon Satan.

Pomade:

Perfect, pretty boy My heart doesn't waver so easily Pat me on the head like I'm a good boy Steal my heart No matter how mischievous you are I'll lure you in with my charm Your heart and sou will dance to my rhythm For now you're mine Passing days, feelings of love and hatred By the time you realize, it's too late Don't look away Just look at me no time to even blink Baby, you want my love? No matter who you are You're no match for me There is nobody but myself That is enough for me Baby, you need my love? That's right, I want to show you All sides of me The meaning of these words that are unlike me I want you to accept them all Perfect cutie boy My heart won't be indecisive, not even for a second Entranced by these overwhelming emotions Steal my heart Endlessly reflected in my eyes The view with you My heart and soul has been enchanted I'm yours Passing days, feelings of love and hatred Now that you've realized, isn't it too late? Don't look away I'm looking at you No hesitation Baby, you want my love? Even if it's you You're still no match for me There is nobody but myself That I can fall for Baby, you need my love? That's right, I want to show you All sides of me The meaning of these words that are unlike me I want you to accept them all Beyond now The love that I discovered for you From now on Let's create our love story My feelings I'll convey them in a love letter Those beautiful eyes Staring only at me Baby, you want my love? No matter who you are I want you to show me I fell in love with someone Besides myself for the first time Baby, you need my love? That's right, I want to show you All sides of me The meaning of these words that are unlike me Are just for you

So... this is just Asmo going on about how he's upset that we aren't falling for him and how he's denying himself falling for us. Then he switches to him saying that he's now in love with us and wants us to feel the same way. This is just the story of how Asmo fell for us in the actual story.

Hungry Six-Pack:

Never satisfied Never limited No need No care Sometimes dizzying Questions Increase Fantasies Unleash Give me something Combo A, B and C Give me all You already know, I don't have to tell you You already know, just look at this body I'm starving and just can't bear it You'll satisfy my hunger, won't you? When our eyes meet, it'll be Forever, forever Fractured plates, a daily thing Fractured worlds Split into six This has to be Our daily fruits When questions Disappear Imagination Delusions Combo D, E and F I can down them, no problem You already know, I don't have to tell you You already know, just look at this body I'm starving and just can't bear it You'll satisfy my hunger, won't you? Do it how you like Forever, forever Questions Increase Fantasies Unleash Give me something Combo A, B and C Give me all You already know, I don't have to tell you You already know, just look at this body I'm starving and just can't bear it You'll satisfy my hunger, won't you? When our eyes meet, it'll be Forever, forever

This one confused me a little, but I think it's just Beel wanting us to realize he loves us. Honestly, I'm a little lost on this one.

Dreamscape:

Hey, can we talk about us Rub your sleepy eyes If you're tired, come nap With me sometimes This is nothing I used to say this so easily But now the words get caught when you're around I've got butterflies in my stomach I can't stop this feeling of missing you I wonder why I still don't know Tomorrow, the day after forever and ever I'll probably keep waiting, you know? Hey, I know you're free Come shopping with me Could I say these things before? Hesitation is so draining Welcome home Goodnight I want to say these things but I can't It's so frustrating My mind is a mess What finally comes out is Goodbye I can't stop this feeling of missing you I wonder why I still don't know Tomorrow, the day after and forever and ever I'll probably keep waiting, you know? What is a crush? What is love? I always wonder Maybe it's too early for me Look, this warm Kind of lonely feeling Is all you wanted, right? Now you're wide awake I can't stop this feeling of missing you I wonder why I still don't know Indulge my selfish wish Come see me, will you?

Belphie baby is just so confused. He doesn't understand and he just wants to know that feeling. Welp, that feeling is love. And yes, I will always come to see you.

No. 1:

Hey, if you are free Would you mind going out for dinner with me? Not even for a second... ...will I let you feel "bored"

A sparkling bright white full dress A luxurious full course meal Have you noticed? This is my charm I will escort you with elegance

Please don't look away I will catch your heartbeats Say no more and come here Hey, look

I'm a formidable No.1 The unmatched only one Fear nothing and move forward Run run run Always singing with grace La la la la la

No.1 No.1

An adult way of tasting Demonus I'll teach you every last bit of it If there is anything else you want to know Just ask me all about it

I have nothing to hide, I am always honest As long as I can, I will do anything for you So yeah, "as an exchange"... ...may not be an appropriate expression But I want that love from you in return

Please don't let go your hand I will catch your heart Say no more and come here Hey, look

I'm a formidable No.1 The unmatched only one Fear nothing and move forward Run run run Always singing with grace La la la la la

With you let's dance, till end of mid night Paradise, I'll take you there With you let's dance, till end of mid night Yes, we will be together always

Just dance with me till dawn Even your worries can be left behind No one can resemble, I promise So come with me Hey, look

I'm a formidable No.1 The unmatched only one Fear nothing and move forward Run run run Always singing with grace La la la la la

With you let's dance, till end of mid night Paradise, I'll take you there With you let's dance, till end of mid night Yes, we will be together always

Diavolo is just trying to prove his worth to us so that we love him. He's trying so hard to, but he really doesn't have to. He's such a sweet guy, even if he wasn't a prince, I'd still love him.

Crazy About You:

Oh? If there is anything bothering you It will be my pleasure to discuss it with you Be it styling outfits or putting on makeup Let me start preparing for dining too

A bustling daily routine Is it what your impression of it? But to me, I am happy of how it is

Perfect spirit, ah Flawless scheme Now, if that’s what you hope, please Okay, allow me to brew some tea

My heart in turmoil Having you with me makes me want you I’m crazy about you

I, too, cannot stop this billowing feeling

I wish to please you always Please leave everything to me But your poor manner will not be tolerated Not matter how many times Let me give you a lecture in calm

Oh? If there is anything bothering you It will be my pleasure to discuss it with you Be it sewing or doing cleanup I am in good hands

A bustling daily routine But if it is for you Then to me, it is lovely

Perfect spirit, ah Urge to hold tight, a feeling Now, if you turn around, please I will not hand you to anyone else, oh

I can’t take this My feelings for you I’ll make you mine

I wish to please you always Please leave everything to me But your poor manner will not be tolerated Not matter how many times, I’ll give you a lecture 

I want you Cuz I love you I’m so crazy about you

I wish to please you always Please leave everything to me But your poor manner will not be tolerated Not matter how many times Let me give you a lecture in calm

Kinda yandere at the end, but basically is just him saying how much he wants to give us. He's such a fucking service dom, I swear. Ooo, I should make a post about that.

My Wish:

Although we already said goodbye I want to play with you for longer Just stay before the sun sets Help me to carry on with the puzzle I’ve baked some cookies too I want to try making more I’ll specially give you a chance to taste So be my company, I’ll brew some tea too Cakes are good But parfaits are not bad too This special feeling of mine If I mix it in the sweets And use an eyeful of pure white cream To illustrate our bond See, it’s the best recipe It’s already so late I want to see your smile for longer I want to make more memories with you These are all my treasure Time goes by so fast I want to stay with you for longer It’s good that I can see you again soon But I miss you, I’m waiting for you Staying with you like this Is very calming I want to comfort you more We’ll always be together, you promise Holding your hands Gives me courage This special sentiment of mine Squeeze and fit it in On the illuminated stage of light To sing the praise of our bond See, it’s the best melody

Luke is so cute. I want him as a little brother. You think if I get with Simeon, I'd get Luke, too? Cause that would be two birds with one stone. Anyways, he's basically just saying he wants to be around us.

Question Love:

Jump over the puddle The future that's waiting ahead You see, at the end... ...I want to spend the time with you

Fallin' and dive into my heart There is nothing to fear An unfathomable heart You will manage to wake and stir it up

Uhh, dancing up and down Two hearts, now lean against each other Uhh, looming question mark Could it be a sign of falling in love? Hey hey getting shy, are you? Look this way, would you? Yeah yeah yeah Hey, would we one day tie the knot? Could I still see you tomorrow? Yeah yeah yeah

Always spends the time, slowly and softly But is actually a moody, lazy and carefree Thinking deeply about each other I won't let you at any time crying

Tell me, things hidden in heart A way to convey them well, please teach me So I can give you everything I hold

Uhh, longing innocence and love Smile free from worry, a perfect score Uhh, unwavering answer Hot feelings, I am aware Hey hey, is it really okay? Could you really stay still? Yeah yeah yeah Hey, try falling in love? Could I still see you tomorrow? Yeah yeah yeah

Question love The ending of the story Nothing would be better than being with you Busted bubble, and your smile within My true feelings I don't want to fool around anymore

Lonely, I won't let you feel lonely again Let me warm you up with love In quite an engaging mode Towards a space to feel you closer

Uhh, dancing up and down Two hearts, now lean against each other Uhh, looming question mark Could it be a sign of falling in love? Hey hey, getting shy, are you? Look this way, would you? Yeah yeah yeah Hey, would we one day tie the knot? Could I still see you tomorrow? Yeah yeah yeah

Simeon is so sweet. He wants to tie the knot, too. Sadly, I don't like marriage, but that's fine. And yes, come see me anytime you want.

Our Destiny:

Keep up with this reckless dance It doesn't matter where we are With a blushing face, you are still indecisive Don't worry, I'll guide you smartly

Our destiny You don't have to doubt it Like a fantasy Come, Stay by my side Are you ready, Leave everything to me Fall into this rhythmical night

Demons bewitch me And I bewitch you This concert for the first time in 150 years  Let's go listen together After that, I'll serve you with my cooking

Yes you're right It's made especially for you Sweet and spicy Always tangle together Make it happen, it makes perfect sense Fall into this technical love 

No matter what kind of disruption breaks in Even if the patch we're going on is blocked It won't bother at all My magic will lead our way A sensibility too pure A splendid perfection Seems like from a different dimension I'll show you such a new world

This sound I heard This voice I heard

Our destiny You don't have to doubt it Like a fantasy Come, Stay by my side Are you ready, Leave everything to me Fall into this rhythmical night

Yes you're right It's made especially for you Sweet and spicy Always tangle together Make it happen, it makes perfect sense Fall into this technical love

This song was so good until Solomon said he'd serve us his cooking. Nice try, but nope! Anyways, just another obsessed song, but not as noticeable.

All in all, it's just about them being obsessed with us. I should have expected that, but I didn't. Anyway, I'm ending this here cause there's 14 other songs left and I'll do those later.

[battery-low]

some movies/series i have seen/want to see

first slam dunk

blue giant

mary and the witch's flower

sirocco and the kingdom of winds

rascal does not dream of a dreaming girl

the tunnel to summer, the exit of goodbyes

the girl who leapt through time

‌wolf children

boy and the beast

mirai

belle

summer wars

in this corner of the world

metropolis anime

your name

children who chase lost voices from deep below

5 centimeters per second

the place promised in our early days

‌suzume

weathering with you

garden of words

little nemo

‌fist of the north star

vampire hunter d

vampire hunter d:bloodlust

wings of honneamise

ninja scroll

macros plus

patlabor

redline

the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya

the disappearance of haruhi suzumiya

tekkonkinkreet

the case of hana & alice

the piano forest

night is short walk on girl

okko's inn

millennium actress

i want to eat your pancreas

a silent voice

liz and the blue bird

kimi no iro (releasing: 082024)

the heike story

dog of flanders

angels egg

giovannis island

night on the galactic railroad

to the forest of firefly lights

a letter to momo

josee, the tiger and the fish

summit of the gods

kodoku no gurume

time of eve

panda go panda

patema inverted

kabaneri of the iron fortress

orange

gravity

wayne

big boys

small lights

old enough

begrijpt u nu waarom ik huil

schindlers list

colorful (1999, 2010)

‌anthem of the heart

‌maquia

maboroshi

inu-oh

birdboy

‌banana fish

‌terror in resonance

short peace

500 days of summer

summer ghost

chungking express

goodbye don glees

fleabag

one day

lost in translation

manchester by sea

blue valentine

paddington 1, 2

neon genesis evangelion

end of evangelion

evangelion: 1.0, 2.0, 3.0, 3.0+1.0

le otto montagne

the bear

met mes

call me by your name

beatiful boy

beau is afraid

chainsaw man

white lotus

sopranos

band of brothers

monster anime

pluto

master keaton

to your eternity

miss hokusai

‌your lie in april

march sweeps in like a lion

‌a place further than universe

the perverts guide to cinema/ideology

yuki yukite, shingun

everything everywhere all at once

the hunchback of notre dame

coldfish

love exposure

house

in bruges

midnight gospel

‌god father i,ii,iii

‌scarface

‌death parade

one punch man

mob psycho i,ii,iii

bee and puppy cat

plastic memories

‌violet evergarden

violet evergarden (special)

violet evergarden (movie 2019)

violet evergarden (2020 movie)

‌anohana the flower we saw that day

erased

scavenger reign

inuyashiki

over the garden wall

‌bojack horseman

‌better call saul

‌breaking bad

‌game of thrones

severance

‌naruto

‌scrubs

‌moonlight kingdom

‌freedom writers

a sun

handmaids tale

carnival row

7 samurai

kingdom of heaven

persona

a brighter summer day

past lives

perfect days

dear zachary:a letter to a son about his father

paris,texas

time still turns pages

silent love

monster (movie)

wonka

get out

poor things

‌us‌

candyman

‌nope

fionna and cake

audition

on the count of three

sensitive the untold story

lucy

the creative brain

rudy

nyad

‌the whale

memories of murder

taxi driver

after hours

goodfellas

a clockwork orange

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

‌requiem for a dream

‌children of heaven

‌my sisters keeper

‌hachi dogs tale

the big short

‌gardenstate

‌boyhood

‌perks of being a wall flower

‌into the wild

‌good will hunting

mishima: a life in four chapters

what's eating gilbert grape?

better days

king of staten island

schindlers list

meet joe black

we are who we are

cowboy bebop

yasuke

nr. 10

dead poet society

ghost in the shell

ghost in the shell sac

memories 1995

euphoria

atlanta

the vince staples show

matrix i,ii,iii

animatrix

star wars visions

castle of cagliostro

my neighbour totoro

spirited away

howls moving castle

kikis delivery service

ponyo

the wind rises

whisper of the heart

the cat returns

the boy and the heron

tales from the earthsea

from up on poppy hill

castle in the sky

nausica valley of the wind

porco rosso

princess monoke

ocean waves

only yesterday

pom poko

grave of fireflies

the tale of the princess kaguya

the neighbours yamadas

gauche the cellist

arrietty

when marnie was there

red turtle

samurai shamploo

oldboy

tales of the unusual

insidious

the face of another

rin daughters of mnemosyne

afro samurai

close

paranoia agent

bullet in your head

gladiator

american gangster

american psycho

poltergeist

eyes wide shut

mind game

if beale street could talk

heat

a time to kill

killers of the flower moon

dunkirk

the iron giant

tree of life

mindhunter

blue eyed samurai

twin peaks

[lullabyes22-blog]

Forward, but Never Forget/XOXO - Ch: 11 - Handshake

Summary: Zaun is free—and must grow into its unfamiliar new dimensions. So must Silco and Jinx. A what-if that diverges midway through the events of episode 8. Found family and fluff, politics and power, smut and slice-of-life, villainy and vengeance.

AO3 - Forward, But Never Forget/XOXO

FFnet - Forward, But Never Forget (XOXO)

Playlist on Youtube

Chapters: 1| 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48

CH 11: Vi and Silco share a dinner and strike a bargain.

A red band unfailingly unites us

~ "Blut" – Till Lindemann (Translation)

The flare-gun blasts skyward.

Its tracer explodes into a shimmering sphere, a dying sun in the night. It douses the acre-wide impound in a blood-red glow. Shaped like the spokes of a wheel: six warehouses funneling into a concave central hub that must've once been a wrecking pit. Steel girders bisect the inky backdrop of the sky. Strobelights fitted on telescopic tripods chase multicolored pinwheels on the walls and floors.

The place is a hotbed of debauchery.

The impound is packed with party-goers. Tatted-up bikers showboat on glammed-up crotch rockets. A crew of girls sweep across the concrete in wide arcs, tires screeching and rubber burning. One performs a stoppie, riding on her front tire with both rear-ends high in the air, flashing gold thong and silver chrome. In brightly-lit marquees with pure oxygen filters, well-heeled chem-barons schmooze between sips of martinis. On buffet tables, trays are garnished with multicolored hors-d'oeuvre, platters of shrimp suzette and crawfish étouffée crowded against elaborately-designed fruit platters glistening with syrup.

Music throbs so hard that the vibrations judder through the air. Dancers with bedazzled bodies in deluxe costumes undulate on ramps. Two androgynous performers strut in the halogen lights with scissoring steps timed to the beat. Chem-punks splice through the crowd on hoverboards, wearing too much make-up and jewelry and laughing too loudly. From the distance come the intermittent riot of gangs scarring the concrete in juiced-up musclecars in breakneck races. The air reeks of ganja, spilled liquor, gasoline, barbecued meat.

And blood.

Vi swallows. Her throat makes a dry click; she badly wants a drink.

Except the suds are probably poisoned.

She sits shackled like a Stillwater prisoner: leg irons and wrist manacles, each one hooked to a rung on her seat. She supposes she ought to be grateful she's not in sweltering heat or blistering cold.

The temperature inside Silco's marquee tent is perfectly controlled, and scented with something that may as well be Eau de Chingching. The interior is black as an oil-spill and just as sleek. Low mood lighting; luxury furnishings. The space is halved by a sleek screen: one portion reserved for private quarters, the other for a glossy minibar and a banquette as well-appointed as any five-star restaurant. The tent's flaps are peeled back to take in the chaos unfolding across the impound.

An Undercity gala on steroids.

The biggest commotion is at the fighting-pit. It is roughly twenty meters in size; sunken like a skateboard rink and splattered as a charnel pit. At least six dozen spectators range around the sawhorses that block it off. Neon discs are strung at the rims: cotton-candy pinks and toxic-sludge greens. The flashing lights distort the spectator's faces into carnival grotesqueries. A pack of deranged clowns waving fistfuls of coins.

In the center of the pit, two brindle-coated rotties—Ziggy and Stardust—toe the scratch against a black cane-corso mastiff the size of a bear. Its eyes are sunk like embers inside its wrinkle-pitted face. The points of its canines extrude in a vicious leer.

Silco's goons, clumped outside the marquee, place bets.

"Ugly bastard," Lock grunts.

"The Bilgewater ambassador's moneymaker," Ran says, crouched on a rusted turbine. "Cthulhu."

"Gesundheit."

"No." Ran enunciates slowly. "Kuh-thoo-loo. That's his name."

Dustin drums his kneecaps with the hilts of two bone-handled blades: dum-dum-dap. "How much is Bilgewater wagerin'?"

"Three year's supply of rainbow trout," says Lock. "And their best kegs of rum."

Dustin whistles, his head swaying back and forth as if on a gyre. Ran tips a feline smile. "Sucks to be Bilgewater."

Lock cracks his knuckles "Ziggy and Stardust ain't just game. They're dead game."

"Seventy Hexes on them ending the fight in twenty minutes," Ran says.

"Ninety if they draw first blood."

"Pfff. You expect to see blood for a cog."

"Best of three, then?"

"Doubt there'll be a rematch."

"Let's set a fixed time. Say, twelve minutes? And see which rottie draws blood first?"

"Deal."

They spit in their palms, sumpside-style. Lock's huge fist envelopes Ran's metal-silvered paw.  A Spit Swear, the lite version of the Blood Bargain.

The kind of oath you don't break without breaking your neck.

Behind the marquee's screen, Silco's baritone scrapes the silence: "Razor the dogs."

The three goons lose their nonchalant attitudes, a Pavlovian snap of spines straightening. Lock gives a four-fingered hand signal to a girl perched at the guard-post. She stands ready with a flare gun, her hips shot to one side, taking puffs from a cheroot so thick it'd take a year to finish. At Lock's signal, she nods. Her gun-hand goes up. The flare upspirals to burst like a volcano.

The game begins.

The dogs are chivvied toward the scratch line. Ziggy and Stardust move in tandem: a liquid flow of muscle. Cthulu cuts forward like a ballistic missile. The dogs' noses touch. Stardust licks Ziggy's snout; Cthulu's jowls ripple. The dogs' handlers withdraw their blades—Zaun's girl a butterfly knife from her boot, Bilgewater's man a short, wickedly-curved cutlass from his belt. The slit a shallow gash into the dogs' flanks.

Fingers wetted with the blood, they smear it across their own dog's nose, then the challenger's. Cthulu snuffles and lets off a frenzied bark, red droplets spraying. Ziggy and Stardust go still as statues, their teeth daggering, a wicked red luminosity entering their eyes. The blood mainlines like adrenaline into their systems.

"Fuck," Lock says with admiration. "They're practically gagging for it."

The handlers yank the dogs to their corners, hands white-knuckling against their scruffs. The dogs' bodies give off an inexorable ferocity. Ringed around the fighting-pit, the rogue's gallery hurls cheers and insults. They seem no different from the dogs: the bloodsport whets their appetites into mania.

The flare gun ignites a third time.

The handlers drop their charges and clamber out of the fighting-pit. The dogs fly at each other as if catapulted. The impact is brutal. Ziggy and Stardust pounce in tandem, with terrifying synchronicity. Cthulhu bulldozes straight at them. They flatten as one, letting his massive shape sail overtop. Their heads twist and rip into Cthulhu's flanks on either side. Teeth leave oozing half-moons in the fur. Cthulhu snarls, angling himself away, mere inches from the pair's gnashing teeth. Next he is bulling forward, using his superior bulk to back Ziggy and Stardust into a corner, batting at them with his ferocious forepaws, his fanged head arrowing towards the nearest dog's throat.

The pair feint gamely. But it is a calculated carnage. Wherever Cthulu's skull darts and comes away, a shiny pink divot is left behind on Ziggy or Stardust's pelts. Next, it fills with blood and splatters the concrete. The music is ripped apart by shrill yowls. Likewise, the crowd's din spikes into a foghorn. Dismay; delight.

"That's it, Cthu! Atta boy!"

"Get at him, Ziggy! C'mon!"

"Rip their fuckin' heads off!"

"Yeah, Star! Bite him!"

The bloodbath sears itself into Vi's retinas. She feels sick deep in her guts. She's seen a lot of shit. Poverty, prostitution, prison brawls. But this blows everything out of the water.

A lean shadow falls over Vi's chair.

"Not fond of hounds?"

From behind the screen, Silco slithers out. Sevika lumbers after him. They'd been conversing in low tones inside his quarters. Vi couldn't hear what they were saying. Now she realizes they were watching her. Silco's eyes glitter darkly, drinking in her distress. Behind him, Sevika's expression is stony as a Marwian idol, but with a tiny sneer on her lips.

Vi sets her jaw.

She's out of her depth. Alone and unarmed. But she isn't scared. It will be a cold day in hell if she's scared of anything after Stillwater.

Even a monster whose motivations defy logic.

She says, "Rabid types aren't my thing."

Silco eyes her speculatively. "They have their uses."

"As entertainment? Or meat shields?"

"Whichever comes first."

Vi hooks her chin toward Sevika. "That why you've got her on a leash? Or—wait." She glances pityingly at Silco. "Is she your seeing-eye mutt?"

Sevika's eyes snap hotly to Vi's. She seems to be debating a riposte, the physical type. But something in Silco's sideways glance—an idle warning—defuses her temper.

Leaning in, she mutters in Silco's ear. His lips twist at the edges. The shark-eye gleams, merciless.

"Half and half," he says.

"Half now. Half later."

"Settled."

He offers his hand: a sharp-jointed a talon. Sevika clasps it in her own.

Vi notes the grip. It doesn't resemble the friendly handshake between Ran and Lock. This is loaded with sinisterness. For the first time, she wonders about their history. Side by side, their affiliation makes no sense except for the obvious: money and power. Beyond that, they are two very different animals: scavenger and predator. Sevika with her rough-and-tumble attitude, all brutish gimcrack and straight-shooting snark; Silco an unsettlingly scaly enigma of well-soaped wit and scalpel-edged schemes.

Yet she senses a mutual respect, if not a fealty. What the hell is their endgame?

Vi snaps, "You two done being skeevy?"

They don't even glance at Vi. The consensus of scorn needs no speech.

Silco slides into the banquette seat. Sevika sets a large serving platter with a silver lid in front of him. By this time, it's probably lost most of its heat. Still, when the platter is unveiled, a delicious aroma suffuses the air. Vi fights the raw squelch of hunger. She braces herself to stare at over-the-top exotica and rich delicacies.

But the contents are surprisingly simple. A bowl of creamed soup sprinkled with tiny herbs. A large green salad. A butter-seared clutch of crawfish with twinkling heaps of potatoes, peas and carrots.

Sevika doles out the crawfish and a big spoonful of vegetables into a plate. Her expression is deadpan. Yet her body-language isn't that of a servile hostess. Freaky as hell though it seems, Vi is reminded of Caitlyn. The way she boils Vi a cup of tea after a hard day's work. Sometimes Vi teases her for getting all sweetly domestic. Playing wifey again?

Caitlyn always arches an eyebrow: Only because you can't brew tea to save your life.

Bittersweetness nearly escapes the tight clench of Vi's heart. She inhales sharply. She needs to stay alert.

Stay alive.

Sevika untwists a bottle of whiskey from the minibar. Vi can't see the label, but she's sure it's something pricey. The other woman pours a stiff belt into two glasses, and cocks her head at Vi. "You still like a splash of cherry soda in yours?"

Vi grimaces. "I wouldn't touch anything here with a ten-foot pole."

"Suit yourself." Sevika's tone modulates. "Sir?"

Silco makes a dry moue. "Sugaring up good whiskey?"

"I've got simple tastes."

"To the manner born, as they say."

"You didn't grow up sipping top-shelf hooch, either."

A wry little smile plays on Silco's lips. "Look forward, not backward."

"But never forget."

They clink glasses. Sevika downs hers like a shot; Silco sips his own with a savoring slowness.

Vi's throat itches. She almost regrets refusing a glass.

Almost.

Sevika crosses to the tent's entrance. Stops, and cuts her eyes from Vi to Silco. It is almost a question. Silco makes a three-fingered hand signal. Sevika nods. The flap falls closed on her retreating shape. The dogfight's furor muffles. A chill descends from Vi's skull down to her toes. She is alone.

Just her and the monster.

Silco's face is inscrutable as he surveys his meal. He might be inspecting a raw carcass on a slab. Then he does something unexpected. Something Vander used to do. He sits back and balances the plate on his knees. Ignoring the silverware, he begins rapidly transferring the food to his mouth with his fingers.

At Vi's stare, he offers an upticked eyebrow, "Excuse me. My stomach thinks my throat's cut."

My stomach thinks my throat's cut.

That was Vander's favorite saying. It meant: I'm starving. Powder always found it hilarious. Everytime she heard it, she'd wrap her hands around her throat, pretending to stanch a gaping hole with high-pitched sound effects. Gak! Blurgle! Pteh! The memory goes through Vi on a reflux of grief.

Her own stomach, meanwhile, switches places with her brain.

Urrrggh, it gurgles.

Silco stops, a roast potato halfway to his mouth. He tricks out a sly smile. "You're no better."

"Shut up."

"Are you hungry?"

Vi refuses to answer. Point of fact? Fuck yes. She'd been keyed up since yesterday night, and barely kept down her breakfast this morning. Now, between the after-effects of a fistfight, psychological anguish and adrenaline, she's redlining into collapse. Her body demands fuel to keep carrying on. But pragmatism wrestles with pride. How can she break bread with a man who killed one half of her family, and destroyed the other?

Silco says, "Shall I uncuff you?"

Vi blinks.

Silco pops another roast potato in his mouth. "Shall I uncuff you to eat? You've no reason to misbehave. The odds are stacked against you. The guards. The weapons. The crowd."

"Suppose I take my chances?"

"Too many witnesses."

"Good for corroborating my story later."

"I own every single eye in this impound."

Vi's jaw clamps. Rationally, he's right. She has no recourse if she attacks him. His goons are outside the tent. His blackguards are patrolling the grounds. The Undercity is his chessboard. And yet she's ready to reject rationality. She wants to attack him. Wants him to give her the smallest excuse. If he does, she'll have no choice but to react.

She'll trounce him, and to hell with the fallout.

Silco says, "I'll untie one wrist."

Vi snaps back to the moment.

"Just one. Take your time and eat. But if you make one stupid move…" His lips peel back from his crooked white teeth. "My crew are eager for entertainment. I've no problem if they make a show of you. Have you on a leash—or have you in the dog-pit." Softly, "Like a proper bitch."

The awfulness of his message spreads through the tent like Fissure-gas. Vi's lungs tighten; her pulse hitches. Silco tilts his head, measuring the steel in her spine. She matches his stare with as much steadiness as she can muster.

"You'll behave," he says. "Won't you?"

Jaw set, Vi nods.

"Good," he says softly. "Good girl."

Rising, he approaches her slowly. "Right hand or left?"

Vi exhales. "Right."

"Right it is."

Taking the key from his waistcoat, Silco leans in, fitting it to the manacle. There is a click. The metal unclamps from Vi's bruised wrist. Her right hand drops free. Her breath saws with relief. Raising her hand at eye-level, she flexes her fingers, rotating the wrist at the joint, then repeating the exercise with her elbow and shoulder.

Her cramped muscles twinge. Blood-flow resumes.

"Better?" Silco asks.

Vi pins him with baleful eyes. Silco's own are raptorially set, a casual venom in his half-smile.

"Well then," he murmurs. "Tuck in."

A strained silence hangs during the meal. Neither she nor Silco speak, or if they do, it is only through sharpened scowls cutting the space between them. But the soup, cream-of-shrimp with basil, is delicious, the salad as sweetly verdant as anything from Piltover's gardens, and the crawfish, when Vi cracks it open with her thumb in a veil of steam, tastes as if it's leapt straight out of the freshwaters.

Vi gorges without apology. She'll need her fortitude for whatever Silco is planning.

Once in a while, she hazards a glance at him. He's switched to the flatware. Yet his manner of eating is no less carnivorous. He holds each forkful at a bite's distance, then darts forward, snapping off each mouthful and grinding it down between sharp teeth. His proximity makes Vi's skin prickle.

Up close, she can only see everything that is unnatural in him beneath its much-scarred humanity. She doesn't believe in auras, or mojos, or other Fissure superstitions. But he has a vibe, eerie and amorphous and devouring, like the darkness at the bottom of the river. How can Powder stand to be near him?

Powder.

A red mass of tension pulses in Vi's chest. She flashes back to her sister's silhouette at the pool. Her far-out smile. Her pale body enfolded in the towel under Silco's hands. Her glowing innocence somehow revivifying his expression, as if he'd stolen her energy and taken it for himself.

Rage sucks all the flavor from her meal. Vi drops her spoon with a clatter.

Idly, Silco asks, "Full already?"

"Lost my appetite."

"Something off about the entrée?"

"Just your face."

His throat thrums out a sound that is nearly a laugh, but not quite. "You're quite the charmer yourself."

Shoveling the last forkful into his mouth, he swallows with the eerie sinuosity of a snake devouring a sump-vole. Then he pulls a black cambric napkin from his vest, smooths it out into an edge, and primly dabs his mouth. Its borders are fringed with a multicolored embroidery that reminds Vi of the funky cross-stitches Powder used to decorate her clothes with.

Neither of them could do needlework like grand Piltie ladies. But making do with hand-me-downs, year after year, meant learning how to sew. Vi was adept at basic hemming and mending. But Powder had a real flair with the needle. Vi remembers how her sister would fix up old sweaters and shirts and socks, making them extra-poppy with pink lazy daisies and red fishbones and yellow spiraling stars. Vi can almost see her at the corner of her mind's eye, sitting crosslegged, upper-lip caught between her teeth with concentration: Onesies, knit, twosies, knot…

Vi flinches, clubbed by nostalgia. She cuts her gaze away. Except it is too late. Silco intercepts her stare, and unexpectedly their eyes are locked. An unwanted understanding flows between them.

Vi says, "Did Powder make that?"

"Her name is Jinx."

"Did she?"

A muscle jerks in Silco's jaw. He nods.

"Can—can I see?"

His features stay hard and sharkish, all oily black eye and cut-steel face. Yet his good eye loses some of its chill. Matter-of-factly, he extends the handkerchief. Doesn't hand it over, but holds on, pinched tight between a thumb and forefinger. Vi traces the needlework carefully. The stitches aren't sophisticated. But they are tiny and astonishingly delicate: a rainbow crosshatching of XOXOs. A far cry from the clumsy squiggles of Powder's childhood.

Just like her bombs.

Gooseflesh breaks over Vi's skin. She drops her hand. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why haven't you killed me yet? Especially if I'm such a threat?"

Folding up the handkerchief, Silco tucks it away like a stolen prize.

"I told you before," he says. "Your usefulness outweighs my reasons."

"Usefulness."

That makes no sense. He's no longer a terrorist in Piltover's shadow. He's First Chancellor of his own nation. He's allied with bigger fish than Vi on the threat assessment scale. Probably found easier ways to intimidate others into doing his dirty-work, because a little easier is all it takes for men like Silco.

Why would someone so dangerous and well-connected need Vi for anything?

Silco says, as if reading her mind, "Zaun is independent. But it isn't invulnerable. The wheels are half-on, half-off. Under Topside, it's what we were accustomed to. On our own, we deserve better." His idle gesture encompasses the tent, the feast, the furor. "I can stage a damn good spectacle. I can lure foreign investment. People always respond favorably to good showmanship."

"A little razzle-dazzle works magic," Vi mutters, a hat-tip to another of Vander's favorite sayings.

Silco eyes her strangely. His face is etched with darkness, as if troubled thoughts are massing. "Razzle-dazzle works on the surface. It's the foundation that must stay strong. I can deal with the chem-barons. I’ve spent half my life stopping blowhards from pushing their territories to ruin with shortsighted double-games. Most of them live for the moment, anyway. It's why they die at a moment's notice. But Zaun—as a nation—must live."

"Under your boot?”

He shakes his head. "With or without me. There are certain fortunes I wish to guide and certain favors I plan to extract to make it so. Otherwise any fool in the future could undo the hard work of the past." He meets Vi's stare. "For that, I need eyes and ears inside Piltover."

"My eyes and ears?"

"Among other parts."

Her eyes narrow. "I thought you said Piltover set us both up."

"They did."

"I also thought you don't trust me."

"I don't."

"Then what the hell are you—?"

Silco cuts her off. "I'll explain. Drink?"

Vi glowers. "I'm not letting you liquor me up."

"I meant water."

Rising, he goes to the minibar. Vi watches him fill two paper cups from a cooler. The liquid is acid green. Transparent and cloudless, but green.

That isn't disturbing in itself. Vi has known it be worse colors. The Undercity's tapwater is a cesspit of contaminants. Loaded with turbidity, chloride, mold and bacteria. The water-supply infrastructure is ancient, and interminably crippled from lack of funds. Worse, as the population expanded, neighborhoods developed in a haphazard tangle, each unplanned sector massing beyond the ambit of civic services. That meant slipshod cross-connections, with sewage lines regularly spilling over into supply lines. There was always news of waterborne diseases; kids dying or posh Pilties getting poisoned.

In Vi's teens, water-mafia wannabes began cropping up everywhere. They set up illegal hydrants across the Undercity, tapping into the mains to steal water, then selling it to citizens for jacked-up prices. Shortly before his death, Vander was working with the communities to stop their water being siphoned. Vi often heard him growling that the scale of theft went all the way to Topside.

Silco sips from his cup. Vi expects him to grimace. Instead he holds the water contemplatively in his mouth, then swallows. "Still too sweet."

"What?"

He proffers a cup. "Try it. It's certified safe."

"Certified by who? Your poisoner?"

"Try it."

She stares at the green liquid, parched but wary. It doesn't smell weird. In fact, it doesn't smell like anything. Screwing up her courage, she takes a small sip. It tastes clean. There's a faint aftertaste of mint, like leftover mouthwash.

Silco eyes her closely. "Well?"

"It's …not bad?"

Silco nods, silent for a couple of beats. Then: "It's been fully treated for contaminants. But the offshoot is the color." He takes another sip, lips skinning back from his teeth. "And the taste. Still, it won't sicken anyone. Presently, this treatment is limited to the water plant at Entresol. In time, it will supply Zaun in its entirety. No more clogged filters. No more rations. No piling up a fortnight's soiled laundry before doing the wash. No families bathing two days a week with the same bathwater, just to tally every bloody drop wasted."

Vi notices that his accent has changed again, like when he'd smoked brightleaf at the warehouse, like when he'd complained of an empty stomach. The cultured cadences—closer to Topside than the Fissures—lose their enunciation to a familiar grittiness of bitten-off consonants and blunted vowels.

It's disconcertingly close to Vander's style of speech. With exceptions, the younger generations in the Undercity have a uniform accent. Standard, as it's called. But the older generations are a mixed bag. Each one has a distinct dialect to go with their particular neighborhood, so no single word is pronounced the same: wader, watta, vota.

Vander's neighborhood was the Pump Station. She wonders if Silco grew up there too.

Shaking it off, Vi takes another sip. Minty-clean. But it doesn't mean Silco's intentions are the same. His spiel about purification plants may seem convincing. But she reminds herself that he is likely accustomed to operating on multiple levels of deception. She can't trust him. She knows that. Yet she hates that she almost wants to believe him anyway.

Silco's stare is inexorable, the shark-eye seeing right through her.

"It must be difficult for you," he says.

"Difficult?"

"Living half-in, half-out."

Vi looks away. "I'm not getting into this with you."

"Ah. So there's something to get into?" He circles a fingertip around the rim of his cup. "Is this really what you want? To play lapdog as Topside’s Peacekeeper? To waste your talents working the beat?"

"I have my reasons. They're the only ones that matter."

"Reasons change. Especially once your eyes are wide open."

"Are yours? Hard to tell."

"You can deflect, but you can't lie. It's why you can't keep away from the Undercity. Why you're back again."

Vi bristles. "I'm back for my sister."

"You're saying life in Piltover is peaches and cream? You're lucky, certainly. It's not the usual way for an ex-con from Stillwater to smarm it up with the Kirramans, despite not having a cog to her name. Getting an apartment with a closet bigger than most rooms in the Sumps. Getting three square meals and permission to go wherever she pleases. But in exchange, they expect you to sing for your supper, don't they? To be eager to please, in exchange for getting rescued? You were brave to overcome your ordeal, but you're blessed now, aren't you?"

Vi refuses to answer. But her shoulders flex into a yoke of tension. He's needling her. She knows it.

That doesn't mean he's off the mark.

Silco drains his cup half at a go. Setting it aside, he thumbs the greenness off his lips. "Take it from someone who's been there and back, girl. Piltover will never accept you as one of them. You'll stay there. Never live. Stay. Like a dog stays in a kennel until the master bids it to heel. You'll never be allowed to hold your head high. Always be a target for their mean-spirited prejudices and ignorance. Even the well-meaning Pilties—like your Kirraman girl—have no idea what you've endured. The hardness it builds on the inside. It's like they live in one dimension. Meanwhile you live in three. Surviving as an orphan on the Day of Ash. Surviving as a casualty of Topside's negligence. Surviving as a Fissure-born emigre, only to find the part of you that's formed in violence will always respond to nothing but violence."

Vi swallows her drink. It burns going down, but that's not the water.

She knows what he's talking about. She wishes she didn't—but she does. Her eyes drop to Silco's hands. They are freakish appendages: long and bony, with a terrain of heavy metacarpals. Well-kept, but the demarcations of old scars are plain. Burn scars. Fisticuff scars. Knife scars. The same type as Vander's.

The same type as hers.

Against her will, she imagines a younger Silco, with an unfucked-up face, dead-drunk and pitching himself into a bar-brawl, his knuckles splitting open against someone's tooth, blood on his hands, on his clothes, on the floor. So much blood, night after night, just to scrape by and survive. He's been there. Vander's been there. Vi's been there. Even Powder has.

Caitlyn—sweet Caityln—has never been there.

Silco holds her eyes over the rim of his cup. "I wasn't lying when I said Piltover set you up. You were the gasoline to start a political fire. Deny it all you like. In your gut, you know the truth." He empties the rest of the cup in one swallow. "In losing Zaun, they've lost precious resources. Our factories. Our mills. Our mines. We're negotiating a treaty. But the course of peace ne'er ran smooth. They'll find loopholes to keep us beholden to them. Same as always."

He uses the royal plural; we, us, ours. As if he and Zaun are two halves of a single machine grinding inexorably into infinity.

As if Vi is part of the machine too.

She scowls. "I'm not playing your errand girl."

"You wouldn't be."

"Or your attack dog."

"I've no shortage of those." His good eye narrows. "I need a nexus."

"Nexus?"

"A link between Piltover and Zaun. Someone to serve as a bridge, in the absence of the old one. A bridge that works both ways, rather than solely in their favor."

"People walk all over a bridge."

His scarred upper-lip curls. "No one could possibly walk over you, pet."

"Don't fucking call me that."

"It suits you."

Vi isn't sure if his expression is a stifled smirk or a low-key leer. It makes her want to smack him. Is that the reaction he's trying to provoke? Or is it a mind-game at a deeper level, something to get under her skin? Make her emotionally volatile?

Vi grits her teeth.

Whatever he's doing, it's working.

"I meant what I said,” Silco goes on. “Razzle-dazzle only works if the magic is real. Zaun’s is limited, especially compared to the mightiest empires. That’s why we need security as much as investment. As much as sharp minds in politics, military, corporations, and the media. A shield protects against outside threats. A sword does maximum damage. Zaun needs its own. Something big enough to scare everyone else off."

Vi glowers. "You've already got the damn Hex-gem."

Silco tilts his head. "Sitting pretty on it won't protect Zaun."

"What?"

"It's like a bomb. It must be placed in the right spot."

"I'm not following you."

"It means—"

"I mean I'm not taking your job."

Silco falls silent. Then: "Let me ask you a question. What notion has been relentlessly drilled into the head of every sumpsnipe since birth? About their place, and Piltover's?"

Vi shifts in her seat. "I don't know. That we're one city, I guess."

"Close. That we are one city. But every time Piltover is in need, they take from us. A famine in Ionia cripples produce. So we must forfeit our sleep and wages to make up for declining productivity. A flood capsizes shipping vessels full of Shuriman timber.  So we must build our houses with cheap mortar while they construct sturdy homes. A housing crisis sends rent skyrocketing. Yet the Wardens charge us ten times the price per cubic foot in our shantytowns than in the finest streets on Mainspring Crescent.” He locks his unsettling eyes with hers. “They get the Kindred's share. We make do with scraps."

Déjà vu dopplers. Past conversations with Vander, overlapping the present. Vi doesn't flinch. But it's an effort to hold still under Silco's scrutiny.

"Zaun is free now," Silco says, his voice vibrating with a barely restrained fervor. "But to stay free, we must seize our future. So we are longer exploited. Not by Piltover nor any other enemy."

"And where do I fit into this?"

"We'll discuss it. If you choose to join me."

Vi shakes her head. "Already said I won’t."

"Because Piltover is your new home?"

"Because of what you are."

Silco's insinuating demeanor sobers.  "Better the monster than the meat.” Lounging back in his seat, he drums his fingers on the table's edge. "Still… I regret that it turned out this way. We weren't meant to fight one another. We were supposed to stand as one against Topside. Just like Vander and I."

A livewire twists in Vi's gut. "That didn't stop you from killing Vander."

Silco tips his chin, a cold glitter in his mismatched eyes. "You have this notion—I don't know where it came from—that my feud with Vander sprang up overnight. Perhaps it's more comforting to imagine it did. But ask the other fellow, get the other side of the story. Our dispute took its time within a squared circle of debts and decades. What we owed, we both paid." His jaw tenses, then relaxes. "I couldn't work with Vander, though I respected him. Hopefully I can work with you."

Vi stares warily.

"You're like him. Fierce. Independent. Smart."

Vi snorts, faux-modest. "You need to quit."

"But like him, you turn a virtue into a vice. You don't understand when to do business, and when to stay out of it."

The knot in Vi's gut becomes a dagger. "Business? You mean drugs and murder and blackmail?"

"Exactly."

She shakes her head. "You really are a piece of work."

"I do what I must for the best interests of Zaun. It's a messy dilemma. But the longer you remain a Peacekeeper, the more you'll be mired in the same. Piltover preaches pacifism in the limelight. But they break just as many laws in the dark to further their ends." His tongue plays over the point of an eyetooth. "The difference is that Piltover has the luxury of choice. Zaun doesn't. The things I've done were necessary for our freedom."

Vi seethes in disgust, "Shimmering up the Lanes was necessary?"

"Everything is permissible when there's no other way."

"You're full of shit."

"And you're abysmally naïve." He smiles without mirth. "That's the charm of youth. Like falling off a cliff. By the time you see the end, it's too late." A beat. "Rather like love."

"What the hell are you yapping about?"

His smile fades. "Jinx."

The word passes through Vi on a shock of paralysis.

"Do you want to see her?"

Hatred burns Vi's lungs and hope strangles her heart.

Silco stares at her with surface calm. But his mouth twists at the corners. "There are three tasks I need you to do. They are necessary to establish Zaun as a sovereign power. Complete each one, and I'll grant you access to Jinx. Unrestricted. No tricks up the sleeve. No strings attached."

His offer catches like a hook in Vi's ribcage. She struggles against its pull.

"You're lying," she states flatly. "I'm a threat. You told me yourself. Why would you let me near her?"

Silco's eyes hold hers in a moment of deepening silence. Then he glances away. His unscarred profile holds both bitterness and irony. As if she is a truth he dares not turn his back on.

Quietly, he says, "You are a threat. I do not take kindly to those. But you're also her sister. You're Vander's girl. That earns you the barest grace. If you expect more, then prove yourself. Show your loyalty to Jinx. Zaun may no longer be your home. But it is hers. With each task you complete, you'll leave it safer for her future."

"And if I refuse?"

"Then it becomes a matter of payment and cost."

"Just math, huh?"

"Survival is a simple equation." His darkening stare is a prelude to a kill. "So is fatherhood."

Fatherhood.

The word sounds rancid on his lips. She remembers his eyes boring into Powder at the skyscraper balcony. Remembers the way he'd set his hands on her as if he was going to swallow her up.

She doesn’t care what Sevika says. Something about him and Jinx together is inherently rancid. Fathers don't touch their daughters that way. Don't corrupt them into trigger-happy terrorists. Don't stow them away in towers like prisoners.

It isn't natural. It isn't right.

But nothing about Silco is natural or right.

(I'll get you away from him, Powder.)

(I promise.)

Forcibly, Vi swallows. Her voice comes hoarse but steady.

"All right."

"Hm?"

"I'll do your fucking jobs. But I want to see my sister first."

He shakes his head. "You've already seen her. Killed a blackguard in the bargain too."

Fury scalds Vi. "I told you. I never—"

"You did." His tone is a clash of contradictions, cold civility yielding against a warm lure of truth. "I saw him at the morgue. He had a crushed trachea. Perhaps he wasn't dead when you left him. But certain injuries, a man succumbs to afterward."

"I—"

A vein throbs in Vi's temple. She feels physically sick. Silco is lying; he has to be. She knows the blackguard was alive. He was breathing when she'd left the alleyway. But—

But she also knows bodies are unpredictable.

Fuck.

Is Silco telling the truth? Had she killed the guard by accident? Or had Silco conspired to make it happen? Either way, Vi could argue it was a hazard of the trade. As Vander used to say: Queensberry Rules. Once the gloves are on, the bets are off. Everything within the ring is sanctioned. She knows this. The blackguard would've known too.

And yet—

"I know you think this is self-serving theater," Silco says. "But fact is fact."

Vi's eyes flick to his.

"Fortunately, facts can be distorted. Between us, we'll make the issue go away."

Vi's eyes burn, her mouth spasming. "Quid pro quo, huh?"

"You play the bone-breaker. I play the undertaker." He lets off a strange chuckle: worn-out and vacant. "I did the same for Vander."

Vi's mind feels pulped; she's not sure how many more blows it can withstand. Instinctively, she makes a real fist with her freed hand, and slams it knuckles-down on the table—a sharp thud.

"Tell me what you want."

She nearly shivers at the expression that crosses Silco's face. It isn't triumph. His features remain impassive. But something flares to cold sharp life within the interior of his skull. His eyes exude an alien glow. "Three tasks. Once you've completed the first, I'll give the second. Once you've accomplished that, you'll get the third."

"Then I'll see my sister?"

"You have my word."

"Then shake on it."

"Hm?"

"Shake on it. Like a real fucking Trencher. With both of us standing up and facing each other."

A smile etches itself across Silco's lips. "You expect to be untied?"

"If we're going to do this? Yeah."

Silco doesn't say anything for a moment. His unnerving eyes rove across Vi's face. He might be considering her odds of attacking him. He might be considering her chances of warding off his goons and escaping into the crowd. He might be measuring how completely he can take her word, the same way she can take his.

After a moment, he nods.

Dipping a hand into his waistcoat, he tosses her the key. "Go on."

Vi wastes no time. She undoes her left hand's shackles. Next the chains locking her ankles. The manacles fall with a heavy clank. Rising, she limbers up, trying not to wince at the stiffness. Torques the hips, rolls her shoulders, bobbing briefly on the tips of her toes. Silco remains at a distance. His eyes roam over her physique. He isn't scoping her out. He is scrutinizing her as impassively if she is a rottweiler in his dog-fight.

A pawn in his chessgame.

Vi sticks her hand out. Rising, he takes it in his own. His grip is chilly, like handling a dead twist of muscle. They don't break off. Just stand with clasped palms for a tense moment. Outside, a wild cheer goes up. The thunder of a hundred lungs emptying themselves in a chorus of triumph. Vi hears the music speakers blast a throb of drumbeats and shrieking guitar riffs. She recognizes the song.

Blut.

The anthem of the Undercity. The victory call for Ziggy and Stardust. The dotted line with Vi's signature in blood.

"Well," Silco says. "Now that—"

Vi's fist barrels into his solar plexus

It is a lightning-fast right-hook. Vi summons into it all the hatred from the depths of her being. It clocks Silco straight between the ribs. He makes a sound like a dry-gulch. The impact of her knuckles judders through his chest with the flat smack of beef-cut slapped onto the chopping block.

He staggers, and Vi follows with her own momentum, pivoting to slam the heel of her palm into his throat, knocking him backwards against the table. Glasses topple and a plate crashes to the floor.

Vi holds Silco down. He thrashes, driving his knee toward her underbelly. Vi blocks it with a retaliatory stomp to his instep. thighs pinning his own. She'd expected to manhandle a jangling skeleton. But the narrow musculature beneath her is whipcord-wiry and vicious. She can barely keep him stationary beneath the clamp of her arms and legs.

Maybe he wasn't lying about being a miner. Vi had sparred with a few in Stillwater. Most had a strength that didn't announce itself—right until it crashtackled you.

She doesn’t give Silco the chance. Her knuckles jam deeper under his throat. Their eyes lock from inches apart.

"You shitbag," Vi breathes. "Tell me why I shouldn't crack your skull open."

Silco's lips are curled back over a jagged row of teeth. The glow in his eyes is feral. A blackness pouring into his expression.

Then he smiles.

"You forgot Vander's rule."

"What—?"

"Never drop your high guard."

Suddenly there is a butterfly knife in his right hand. He whips it wide-angled across Vi's face. The blade rakes along the fine hairs on her cheekbone, a cold vibration sharpening into hot pressure as blood spills. Vi gasps, loosening her grip. Silco jerks free and swings again, the knife a flashing arc. Vi rocks back on her heels, dodging, and reflexively snaps off an uppercut. It connects with air.

There is nobody on the table.

In the next blink, a flashbang shoots from the butt of the knife and erupts inches from Vi's face.

The shockwave is like getting blowtorched. Stars spiral before Vi's eyes. High-pitched noises ignite in her ears. Yowling, she jerks back. Her hands stay fisted despite the unbearable urge to claw at her face. Wheeling, she tries to keep Silco—a blood-red shadow—in her sightline. The second blow isn't a flashbang, but the silver tray caroming off her shoulder. She grunts, torquing to evade. Silco closes in and hits her twice more, sideways and then full-on, the tray slamming off her skull.

Vi's knees buckle, and in slow-motion, she is sliding to the floor. The rugs are so soft against her colliding cheek. Like cotton batting or Caitlyn's breasts.

She lays sprawled for a moment. Dazed. Her heart pumps with rapid unevenness. Blood seeps from the slash on her face.

Three Silco's loom over her, before coalescing into one.

He is breathing rapidly. His left hand massages his bruised ribs, then goes to his throat. Fingertips caress the blotched skin. He swallows with a rough click, muttering a paragraph of fluent billingsgate that is punctuated by a single word: Bitch.

"Worth it," Vi slurs.

She starts to get up. Matter-of-factly, Silco plants his boot on her bruised shoulder and pushes her back down. He stands over her, regarding her through flat eyes. The fingers of his right hand play over the knife handle—a cresting arc of metal like a shark's fin. Vi stares at the bright blood on the blade. She thinks of how it's a weapon signifying neither skill nor strength. It only requires a black core of ruthlessness and a willingness to cross the hardest line.

It's what puts her at a disadvantage against this monster.

Pursing his lips, Silco lets off a brisk whistle. The tent's flap lifts. Sevika walks in, followed by Ran and Lock. They turn the corner and stop short. The aftermath of the altercation crackles like electricity through the air. Sevika's dark eyes go from Vi to Silco. There is no shock in her appraisal.

Slipping a hand into her pocket, she flips Silco a gold Hex. He catches it neatly.

"Called it," Sevika says.

Silco nods. "Expect your half later."

A paralyzing chill spreads through Vi. She realizes Silco had anticipated her attack. Planned it. Provoked it.

And once again, she'd walked into his trap.

"You fucker," she hisses.

Silco tilts his head to one side. "I did warn you not to misbehave."

He jerks his chin. Ran and Lock swarm to enclose Vi. They drag her to her feet, wrenching her arms behind her back. A fresh pair of cuffs are slapped on her wrists. Vi's head throbs from the impact of the silver tray. But the pump of emotion speeding her pulse isn't fear. It's a pent-up fury she can only liken to Murderus Interruptus.

Shit—she'd been so close. She'd nearly bashed his skull in. Whatever it took to end this madness.

To save the Undercity, and Powder's life.

With a napkin, Silco wipes the blood off his butterfly knife. He returns it to the hidden sheath at his belt, with the same uncommon care he'd shown Powder's handkerchief. Crossing over to Vi, he mops the blood off her face. Vi tries to wrench away. Ran grabs a fistful of hair at the back of her skull and keeps her immobile.

Taking her jaw in one hand, Silco regards her eyes. "Pupils seem about right."

"Get out of my face!"

"I can hardly have you concussed."

"Bad optics, huh?"

"In more ways than one."

His tone is all mildness, and for a moment, Vi loses her bearings. Ten seconds ago, his face was a rictus of bloodthirst. Now it's a study of aloof reproach, as if she's a mutt who's tracked mud on his carpet. An ordinary person would be disquieted by the split. Vi takes it for what it is: proof of a lifelong intimacy with violence. She's known inmates in Stillwater who were the same. Crazies who were so adept at compartmentalizing that their different selves were like two faces of a coin. Tails; retreat. Heads; destroy.

If they deemed something necessary, they acted with no remorse and even less warning.

"Let's go," Silco says.

Vi tenses. "What? Where?"

The dog-pit. He’d threatened they’d have her in the dog-pit.

Fuck. Fuck—

Silco’s savoring stare meets her stricken one. "Don’t look so concerned. You’re being escorted to the chopper. We'll deliver you back to Topside."

"You rotten piece of shit! We're not finished here!"

"On the contrary," Silco agrees, "we've scarcely started."

Vi's body turns into a cold block of lead. Around her, the goons crack knowing smiles. Sevika's stare is sharply glossed. Ran hums to herself, a two-note chuckle. Lock bobs his head in time to no beat.

None of it bodes well.

Especially not the curve of Silco's smile.

"Deal's done." His shark-eye glints in private relish. "Welcome to the family."

[vapehk1]

Exploring the Whimsical World of Cotton Candy Elf Bar: A Sweet Vaping Journey

Welcome to a sugary adventure in the world of vaping, where cotton candy isn't just for carnivals anymore! Today, we're diving into the fluffy clouds of the cotton candy Elf Bar, a delightful treat that's sweeping the vape scene faster than a sugar rush on a Saturday afternoon. This isn't just about inhaling and exhaling; it's about enjoying a slice of childhood, minus the sticky fingers. So, strap in (or should we say, "strap on your taste buds?"), and let's embark on a flavorful escapade that promises plenty of laughs and maybe a few cavities of the vapor kind. What Exactly is a Cotton Candy Elf Bar? Before we jump into the candy jar, let's unwrap what a cotton candy Elf Bar really is. Imagine combining the nostalgic, airy sweetness of cotton candy with the modern twist of vaping. That's right, it's a portable, disposable vape device that offers the heavenly taste of spun sugar with every puff. This isn't your average vape juice; it's a ticket to your childhood memories, all packed within a sleek, colorful stick that fits in your pocket like a magic wand fits in a wizard's hand. But why cotton candy, you ask? Because why not! In a world where you can have your cake and vape it too, cotton candy stands out as a universally beloved flavor that doesn't take itself too seriously. It's fun, it's frivolous, and let's be honest, it's a bit cheeky. Cotton candy Elf Bars are designed for those who want to add a sprinkle of joy and a dash of whimsy to their vaping experience. The Unboxing Experience: First Impressions Unboxing a cotton candy Elf Bar is like opening a gift on Christmas morning. The packaging is as vibrant as a neon sign at the fair, beckoning you to come taste the nostalgia. With hues that could rival the most vivid sunset, it's clear that this isn't a vaping device that wants to hide in the shadows. It's here to make a statement, and that statement is "life is sweet, and so am I." Taking your first puff of the cotton candy Elf Bar is like stepping into a dream where the clouds taste like sugar. The flavor explodes like fireworks, sweet and full, without the artificial aftertaste that haunts some vape flavors. It's smooth, satisfying, and surprisingly close to the real deal. If Willy Wonka made a vape, this would be it. The Sweet Science Behind It Creating the perfect cotton candy flavor in a vape isn't just magic; it's science. Food scientists and flavorists work tirelessly to capture the essence of cotton candy, translating it into something you can enjoy without getting your fingers sticky. This involves a blend of natural and artificial flavors that mimic the taste of sugar being spun at high temperatures, which is no small feat. Beyond the flavor, the technology within the Elf Bar ensures that each puff is as good as the last. The device is designed for consistency, from the first draw to the last. It features a controlled heating mechanism that vaporizes the e-liquid evenly, ensuring that the sweet, airy flavor remains stable throughout the entire experience. Longevity and Sustainability: Puffing Towards the Future One of the best parts about the cotton candy Elf Bar is its longevity. Each bar comes with enough e-liquid and battery life to last for what feels like eons, or at least for several hundred puffs. For the casual user, this could mean days, if not weeks, of cotton candy bliss, making it a practical choice for both seasoned vapers and curious newcomers. In today's world, sustainability is just as important as flavor. While disposable vapes like the Elf Bar aren't perfect in terms of environmental impact, there are strides being made. Many companies, including Elf Bar, are exploring recyclable materials and refillable options to reduce waste. So, while you're enjoying the ephemeral taste of cotton candy, know that the industry is working on making these sweet treats a bit sweeter for the planet. Conclusion Welcome to the whimsical guide on the cotton candy Elf Bar, your sweet passport to a playful vaping adventure. This delightful disposable vape combines the nostalgic taste of cotton candy with sleek, modern vaping technology, offering a vibrant and fun experience from the first puff. The unboxing reveals a brightly colored device, promising a joyful and flavorful journey. Thanks to advanced flavor engineering, each puff delivers a consistent, cotton-candy sweetness reminiscent of childhood days at the fair. Moreover, the Elf Bar stands out for its longevity, ensuring that you can enjoy hundreds of puffs before needing a replacement. While considering sustainability, efforts are underway to improve the environmental footprint of these disposable vapes. Whether you're a veteran vaper or a curious newcomer, the cotton candy Elf Bar provides a delightful break from the ordinary, serving both taste and convenience in a compact, portable form. FAQs 1. What exactly is a cotton candy Elf Bar? The cotton candy Elf Bar is a disposable vaping device that offers the sweet, nostalgic flavor of cotton candy. It combines a fun, easy-to-use design with a tasty e-liquid that replicates the classic fairground treat. This device is designed for convenience, featuring a pre-filled e-liquid and a pre-charged battery, making it ready to use right out of the box. 2. How many puffs can you get from a cotton candy Elf Bar? A typical cotton candy Elf Bar provides approximately 600 puffs, depending on usage habits. This makes it a long-lasting choice for casual vaping, with enough e-liquid and battery life to last through multiple sessions before disposal. 3. Is the cotton candy Elf Bar suitable for beginners? Yes, the cotton candy Elf Bar is an excellent choice for beginners. Its straightforward, no-maintenance design is ideal for those new to vaping, as it requires no refilling or recharging. Simply open the package, and it’s ready to use, offering a hassle-free introduction to vaping. 4. Are Elf Bars environmentally friendly? While disposable vapes like the Elf Bar are not inherently environmentally friendly due to their single-use nature, the industry is making strides towards sustainability. Efforts include using recyclable materials and developing refillable systems to minimize waste. Consumers are encouraged to dispose of their used devices responsibly. 5. Where can I buy a cotton candy Elf Bar? Cotton candy Elf Bars are available at various retail locations, including convenience stores, vape shops, and online vaping retailers. When purchasing online, ensure you are buying from a reputable source to guarantee the authenticity of the product. Read the full article

[mitchipedia]

Cory Doctorow: The moral hazard of bankruptcy, stories from Black women’s customer service hell, a new way that phones can spy on you, and unauthorized cups.

Pluralistic: 29 Jul 2021: Bankruptcy lets billionaires destroy businesses, jobs, and the economy, and literally kill people, and walk away with billions of dollars, thanks to limited liability corporation, investor impunity, and corrupt judges.

Economists “wring their hands about the ‘moral hazard’ of public health care and housing, they’re oddly sanguine about limited liability.

Also: Stories from Black women’s customer service hell, about the women who answer the phone when you call Disney, Airbnb, Carnival and others.

And a new way your phone is invading your privacy, through the accelerometer:

“The way you move has a sufficiently unique signature that accelerometers can identify you as the person carrying a device. The same techniques can infer your driving style, whether you are intoxicated, and, through dead reckoning, where you are – even without a GPS fix.

“Alarmingly, accelerometers can be repurposed as crude mics, translating sound vibrations into speech and keyword detection.”

Unlike your phone’s camera and microphone, the accelerometer lacks privacy protection

And paper cup manufacturers are putting RFID chips in their products to deny homeless people drinking water.

cyberpunk as a genre has lost some popularity now that more people are realizing the future dystopia will involve less neon or laser guns and more cyborg paper cups

— Mister Gorbachev, Hit These Back Walls (@SAMOYEDCORE) July 29, 2021

Originally published at mitchwagner.blog: https://mitchwagner.blog/2021/07/30/cory-doctorow-the-moral-hazard-of-bankruptcy-stories-from-black-womens-customer-service-hell-a-new-way-that-phones-can-spy-on-you-and-unauthorized-cups/

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

There's a Coney Island Circus Sideshow, sometimes billed as the Coney Island Freak Show. It's a sort of retro, throwback vibe, part old school goth, back when alt was ALTERNATIVE instead of just cute but with winged eyeliner, part madcap Americana weird. "Human curiosities," it promises, euphemistically. But it's not the circus sideshows of old, of yore, with PT Barnum exploiting every person he met with any kind of birth defect or mystery disease or other abnormality, not exactly. Best the Coney Island Circus Sideshow can do ya, these days, probably, is a magician with dwarfism. Audiences have different tastes now: the sideshow is too weird, too exploitive in the wrong ways, to be popular. The Coney Island Sideshow is too weird to be profitable, even when it's kinda samey. But the Coney Island Circus Sideshow has something weirder: most of the performers--the freaks, if you will--are self made. Free range and therefore technical, therefore ethical. These are people who made some choices--subdermal implants for horns, full face tattoos, acrobats, contortionists. Body mods. "Acrobat isn't a body mod," you say, but honestly, what takes more total hours to accomplish--tattoos or training to do doubles on trapeze? How many doubles can YOU do? That's right. Sit down.

There's a Coney Island Sideshow and it's sort of weird and cheap and possibly bad, and that's the point.

I'm always in Manhattan, these days, when I'm in NYC, in tasteful heels and modest neckline sheath dresses. But if I have the time for that long ass sketchy subway ride, I can remember, pay homage to that long ago summer when we first scuttled across the city to go the freak show. I remember it as night but was it, really? I don't know.

It was the metallic subway smell caught in your hair, the summer you wore a blood stained Yankees cap with your cutoffs and lacey tops, all exposed bra straps and chipped black nail polish. $1 to a street vendor completes the look, neon plastic rosaries around your neck, your wrists. The walk is sketchy and the walk is long before you spy the iconography of the sideshow, the banners with conjoined twins and, for some reason, a Fiji mermaid. Tickets are cheap. Everything is kind of filthy: classic NYC grime. The vibe isn't creepy carnival as much as, say, the bathroom at the back of the goth club where somebody's doing coke. It smells like burnt popcorn instead of clove cigarettes. The fog machine smell is the same.

There's something bawdy about a circus sideshow live performance that just doesn't translate on video. You know what the trick is for sword swallowing, or the bed of nails, or the nails through the nose. But knowing isn't seeing isn't being. The MC is just some babe in a corset and face tats eating spiders, but she belongs, it's FUN. A man in the audience calls out YOU'RE THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS! he means it. you can tell she gets this a lot.  someone else is swallowing yards of plastic tubing. The reason we never had more American born "flipper babies" is that one doctor, Frances Oldham Kelsey, dared to ask "why the fuck are we letting pregnant women take Thalidomide when we don't know what it does to fetuses?" Presumably she didn't say "fuck." You say fuck. The performers say fuck. It must be a night show. Are there kids here? There's creepy clowns but honestly, where AREN'T there creepy clowns? You're used to creepy clowns. The creepy clowns say "fuck." Bearded lady isn't the shocker it was a century ago. Fire breathing is still rad as fuck. Fire breathing will always be rad as fuck. All fire breathing live performance is an audience participation event. Everyone feels the heat. MC babe eats another spider. The word you are thinking of is kitsch, but with affection, with a little thrill, with a little awe. Years later you will look an aerial hoop and your heart will say "yes" and you won't make the carnival connection until later. You are not supposed to like this, you are supposed to come from an upstanding family. At least one of your ancestors ran away from home to join the circus and this is how you know that this is in fact your bloodline, a bunch of witches where sometimes someone goes sane in the middle of everybody else being batshit and the solution is to run away and join the circus. Even more years later you will look at a stripper pole and your heart will go: why not? Later on you read that the origin of the stripper pole is the same Americana wild gauche circus carnival shit you've always loved for no dang reason. This makes sense to you. You buy the pole.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #13 | The Pink Ladies (Watkins, 1979)

This review contains mild spoilers.

Roger Watkins first delved into directing pornography with Her Name Was Lisa. It was apparently successful, and is in my humble opinion a very good film, but was perhaps a little too intense for producer Dave Darby, who insisted that Watkins make something a little lighter. The Pink Ladies was the result. For those familiar only with Watkins' most famous film, Last House on Dead End Street, it can be quite a shock to see something this lighthearted. While it doesn't contain any of the better known film's bad vibes and was apparently disliked by Watkins himself, it is not without its qualities. The opening credits show the main characters playing raquetball. They are framed individually, their shared space fractured as if to render their actions abstract, even if the leering gaze of the gym's attendant gives them a vague sense of connection. The hazy cinematography casts over this the feeling of a dream, and what follows does not rest strictly in the realm of reality.

The main characters are a group of friends who vary in the level of cattiness. The cattiest of the bunch is Samantha Fox, who played the lead in Lisa, followed by Robin Byrd, who played one of her abusers in the former movie, then Kandi Barbour, who's taken permanent residence in my head thanks to a certain pool scene in Neon Nights. Least catty is Christine De Shaffer, who is distinguished by her benign stupidity and incompetence at sports, the latter quality immediately making her my favourite character. After the characters finish playing, griping about De Shaffer's performance (she rightfully insists that it's not about winning or losing, solidifying her position in the rankings), they go off to the showers. We get an eyeful, as does the attendant, who starts fantasizing about what can be delicately referred to as a reverse gangbang. "Fanfare for the Common Man" by Emerson, Lake and Palmer plays on the soundtrack, and one could argue that for this man, the fanfare has taken on a more tangible, not unpleasing form. For the non-prurient-minded, it's worth noting that even in the fantasy De Shaffer is terrible at raquetball.

The girls discuss plans for later in the week, which include a trip to the theatre to see Eugene O'Neill's The Iceman Cometh ("Oooh, sounds dirty"). They then split up, and we get to spend some time with Robert Kerman, playing one of their husbands. Kerman is a Yankees fan, which you can tell by him wearing a Yankees cap and shirt with his extremely unflattering yellow short shorts and eating stale pizza as a he listens to the game. Even when Kerman drifts off into fantasy, as he does when spying on an eager young couple in the act, he stays in character, ensuring that he doesn't miss the Yankees game as a result. A Humphrey Bogart poster provides some deadpan reaction shots. Unfortunately, he gets distracted by De Shaffer, who insists on chatting him up and singing "Moon River". (Quite badly, I should add, showing a lack of talent in multiple disciplines. Whatever the opposite of a polymath is, she's it.)

Next we move to Robin Byrd, sitting in bed and wolfing down popcorn next to her husband while watching a movie about a carnival, which inspires a fantasy sequence of her own where she's tag teamed by three guys in Aladdin Sane makeup and glitter while "March of the Gladiators" plays on the soundtrack. (Given that I associate this music most closely with the educational video game Math Circus, the effect is a bit jarring.) It's worth noting that one of these men is played by Ron Jeremy, who spends most of the scene sucking his own dick. Of course, when her husband suggests they get it on, she turns him down as she's not in the mood. I guess Ron Jeremy autofellatio will do that to you.

Kandi Barbour's fantasy is a bit more palatable, inspired by the bodice-ripping historical romance novel she leafs through before bed. Christine De Shaffer, treated as a punchline for much of the movie, doesn't even get her own fantasy. Rather, as she's putting on a ludicrous amount of facial cream (not like that, you preverts), her husband sneaks off to the bathroom to jerk off to a BDSM magazine and then imagines being dominated by his wife, who wears silver face paint like an extraneous member of KISS. Apparently the movie was released in a version without this scene as it was considered a bit too extreme, but honestly, without revealing anything about my viewing habits, I didn't think it was too bad. (It was also apparently Watkins' favourite scene in the movie.) Perhaps I've been desensitized by a week long Phil Prince binge, but without cataloguing the exact acts depicted, there's nothing too wild shown. The husband is played by Alan Adrian, who played Mistress Candice's willing slave in one of the more tolerable scenes in Prince's filmography. Adrian was into this kind of thing in his personal life and even suggested nailing his scrotum to the floor, which Darby thankfully shot down. Sometimes the money man is right. (Adrian is interviewed on the Vinegar Syndrome release of the movie and is unclothed without comment the entire time.) Of course, when his character approaches his wife after with the idea of trying this stuff out, she brushes him off.

The next morning, the husbands all wait for the train and see Vanessa Del Rio sitting on the other side of the tracks. Naturally, they start getting all worked up and start amusing themselves with what they'd get up to with her if they had the opportunity. Kerman's involves Del Rio as a schoolgirl, which is about as convincing as Steve Buscemi's "How do you do, fellow kids?" moment. Even Adrian, who claims that he never indulges in fantasies (he claims "they drain the life fluids", a statement that causes the other three men to immediately shift away from him on the bench), entertains the idea, although (depending on your proclivities) it's disappointingly not that distinct from the others in terms of tone or the acts featured. Del Rio's role is mostly silent, but she makes an impact in other ways (*raises eyebrows*).

We then move to a restaurant where the girls are biding their time, with Fox being especially rude to the waiter. It's then revealed that De Shaffer forgot their tickets to the The Iceman Cometh and is coldly made to walk home, which she does by crying and looking at ducks while sad music plays, finding new ways to put the audience on her side. (I too am a fan of ducks.) The rest of the ladies go to the gym to blow off steam, and Fox, angrily cycling away on an exercise bike, pictures her and the gals getting in an orgy with the other patrons of the gym, all of whom are covered in body paint and wearing goggles and swim caps. The same year that Francis Ford Coppola used "Ride of the Valkyries" to lend operatic dimensions to a helicopter siege, Watkins uses it to cheekier effect in a very different context. Lest you think this is all that's left, the final moments have the real heroine getting her revenge in a manner appropriate to the genre. High five, Ms. De Shaffer! Suck it, Mmes Fox, Byrd and Barbour.

Look, this is all very slight and I can understand why Watkins, given how dark his movies can get, didn't care for the end result, but I had a pretty good time. I think when trying to watch these movies as actual movies, lighter fare can be a bit of a challenge as they can lack the tension inherent in darker material (I imagine Her Name Was Lisa and Corruption might play better for most viewers, despite the disturbing content), but I can appreciate that this is executed with a good deal of style. It features a game cast who sink their teeth into their roles, particularly De Shaffer giving a very funny and endearing performance. (Fox and Del Rio don't quite make the same impact they did in Lisa, but are still effective in their less demanding roles.) Watkins' disregard for music rights results in some striking uses of music (he gets in Iggy Pop's "Sister Midnight" in between the aforementioned needle drops). And even between the sex scenes the movie is well visualized, translating the fantasy theme into atmosphere and finding images to match the humour.

[idololivine]

NEON Carnival Q&A Pamphlet Translation

disclaimer: apparently Taiwanese Mandarin is different from what I speak, so some of these may need to be taken with a grain of salt! my credentials are that my native language is Cantonese and I know - but am rusty on - Mainland Mandarin.

Q: Do the characters have set dick sizes? A: The team has a "super⭐secret measure", every time they draw the characters they'll reference it.

Q: Between Quincy and Olivine, who has the bigger breasts? A: The team fought over this and couldn't decide, so there's no answer.

Q: I want to know the ages of the long lived ones, the yokai, and the familiars! Who's the oldest? A: From oldest to youngest are: Kuya > Quincy > Rei > Aster > Morvay > Yakumo > Garu. The specifics of their ages will be revealed in the game.

Q: Who's older between Father and Topper? A: Father is older than Topper!

Q: The game has a lot of retro stuff, super curious about the producer's age! A: Retro has nothing to do with the producer's age!!!

Q: How are the kinks of each room thought up? A: The devs think of them in the small dark room, the artbook sketches include clues. [t/n: I consulted two other Chinese speakers and I'm still not really sure what the answer actually means, so this is a best guess translation.]

Q: What's inside the small dark room? A: Tired and busy devs......

Q: When designing event outfits, how do you decide where to open holes? A: Different people will think of the parts they want to highlight, later on we'll also test different levels of nakedness. (it's not like we haven't thought of throwing darts to decide) [t/n: little unsure about this one too. it's possible it means they think of which part of the characters they want to highlight, but they used 眷屬 rather than 角色.] EDIT: @milkeumilkeou has informed me that in the specific context of nuca, 眷屬 means clan members. that's what I get for not playing the game in Chinese... in this case, the better translation is: A: Depending on the clan member the devs will open the holes at the places they want to highlight, later on they'll also test different levels of nakedness. (it's not like they haven't thought of throwing darts to decide)

Q: How were the voice actors chosen? A: The producer chose them according to the characters' personalities and the desired voice. Many thanks to the voice actors!

Q: How far in advance do future events begin production? A: Usually the topic is decided on about 4 - 6 months in advance, and then production begins.

Q: I want to know which character the devs think would be the best coworker! A: Everyone agrees the best coworkers would be Eiden, Edmond and Olivine; Dante's work ability is also very strong, but he's more like a head that scares people. [t/n: 'head' may also translate to director or manager.]

Q: Do the characters have body hair? A: The devs actually really wanted to draw it, but considered various realistic reasons, so the players can't see body hair, but you're free to imagine it! (let Quincy have some stubble... how would that be?) [t/n: I would guess that the 'realistic reasons' they considered are probably that BL typically doesn't feature body hair, so it might've made the game less marketable.]

Q: Who has the most sexual experience? A: Morvay! (super fast answer) [t/n: the question is literally "who has the most experience♂️?" lol]

Q: Does the Klein Continent have a habit of wearing underwear? A: Klein has underwear. Just like hats, gloves, and scarves, when considering factors like decoration and functionality, to wear or not to wear underwear, and what type of underwear to wear, all depend on each person's preferences.

Q: Is Eiden's light brown hair dyed? A: Yes, and he'll regularly re-dye it.

Q: Does Eiden prefer briefs or boxers? A: It's okay as long as it's snug and covers him, and he has some special styles.

Q: I want to know how Eiden gets to work! A: Eiden rides a motorcycle, and on rainy days he'll switch to public transportation.

Q: What opportunity led to Eiden's interest in design? Did his designing always have to do with sex toys? A: Eiden has had artistic talent from a young age, and hoped to turn his passion into a job. His first job was being a sex toy designer at Peak of Pleasure, and this job happened to combine his two interests of design and sex. Aside from the overtime, for Eiden, this was an ideal job. [t/n: in case you don't remember, Peak of Pleasure is the name of Eiden's old workplace as mentioned in Journey to a NU World.]

Q: I want to know Eiden's relationship history! Did he have boyfriends before? A: Eiden knew he liked men from a young age. When he was fifteen he had a bitter first love, and afterwards his partners were all short term. Towards relationships he carries a generous attitude of easy-come-easy-go, and thinks that being happy in the moment is more important.

Q: Does Topper have others of his kind? A: He used to, but when he met Quincy, among those of his kind only Topper was left. [t/n: 手足 may also translate to 'siblings' or 'close friends', as opposed to 'others of his kind'.]

Q: Who makes Topper's outfits? A: Sometimes they're prepared by Quincy, sometimes they're made by Eiden.

Q: Does the food Topper hide in Quincy's hair affect Quincy washing his hair? A: No, Quincy will wash his hair when it needs to be washed. But not long after Quincy washes his hair, the food stores in his hair will be quickly refilled by Topper.

Q: I want to know Topper and Father's weights! A: Little animals' weights will fluctuate, but there's no direct link to fur amount. Topper weighs about a third of a pampo, Father only weighs about half a music box. [t/n: pampo as in the pumpkins from Eerie Escapade.]

Q: What's Yakumo's signature dish? A: He's good at everything, especially savory food. Because of his grandparents' influence he rarely eats sweets, and he can't quite grasp the seasoning amount, but after meeting Eiden he's begun to research sweets recipes.

Q: How is Edmond's knights' uniform worn? A: The uniform has a top piece and a bottom piece, the jumpsuit has a zipper on the back for convenience.

Q: If Edmond came to Taiwan, how sweet would he order his boba tea? A: After ordering full sweetness, Edmond would feel that it could be twice as sweet.

Q: How many nipple chains does Olivine have? A: Olivine makes all of his own nipple chains. He'll change them based on style and mood. The number continues to increase.

Q: Will Quincy help brush Topper's fur? A: Quincy will sometimes help brush Topper, but most of the time Topper will groom himself.

Q: Quincy, Olivine, and Kuya, who would win an arm wrestling match? A: Olivine would win, because Quincy wouldn't take it seriously and Kuya wouldn't compete.

Q: Please reveal Kuya's real height! A: It's 178cm ^^.

Q: I want to know Kuya's experiences before and after becoming a yokai! A: Kuya's journey of becoming a yokai will be revealed in future scenes. What can be revealed now is that, after Kuya became a yokai, he was a lawbreaker for some time...

Q: When Kuya addresses Quincy, why did it change from "boring associate" to "old friend"? A: When Kuya says "old friend" he doesn't mean true friends, he just likes addressing people in ways that make them uncomfortable, like "Master Rei". [t/n: Kuya probably didn't call Quincy "boring associate", but I have no idea where to begin looking for what he actually called Quincy.] EDIT: Kuya used to call Quincy "boring clan member" rather than "boring associate". credit to @milkeumilkeou once again!

Q: Does Garu sleep nude? A: He doesn't like pajamas that are restrictive or impede movement, but if it's cold Eiden will wrap him up in clothes or a blanket!

Q: When Dante first adopted Sooley, how did they get along? A: At first Dante got bitten terribly, because he tried to train Sooley to do various tricks. As they spent more time together, the two eventually developed some mutual understanding of wildness.

Q: Can Dante swim? A: Dante thinks that with something as small as swimming, you just need to learn! [t/n: Dante dodges the question here and neither confirms nor denies whether he can swim, just says that anyone can learn. knowing how he is, he's probably being ambiguous because he doesn't want to admit he can't.]

Q: How many darlings has Blade made? A: Because Blade's favorite is cute things, it's infinitely increasing...... [t/n: 'darlings' as in the goofy little statue guys]

Q: Has Rei always been in the Water Territory? Has he moved before? A: Rei doesn't have a fixed home, he moves regularly. The room in the Water Territory is just one of his hiding places, it used to be an abandoned house.

Q: Does Rei eat when he's experimenting? A: He'll eat if he remembers, if Father's there he'll also remind Rei.

Q: If Fluff Balls think Fluff Balls are cute, will they eat their own kind? A: They won't eat each other. If there aren't cute things around, the Fluff Balls will journey in search of them. [t/n: since when was eating cute things part of Fluff Ball lore...?]

Q: Where is everyone's erogenous zones? A: Aside from the gemstones, everyone's erogenous zones are as follows: Eiden: lower abdomen Yakumo: tongue Edmond: nipples Olivine: entire chest Quincy: dick, palms Kuya: ears Garu: tail Blade: darling♡ Dante: tattoos, especially the Adam's apple and fingers [t/n: might be throat instead of specifically Adam's apple] Rei: moles

Q: I want to know where everyone starts washing when they shower! A: Hair: Eiden, Yakumo, Edmond, Olivine, Topper (the fur on top of his head) Face: Dante, Sooley Upper body: Quincy, Father (chest feathers) Lower body: Garu (tail first), Morvay (also tail first♂️) Anywhere's fine: Rei, Blade (e-droids' bodies will automatically maintain cleanliness) Kuya: nobody knows where he washes first, but it's said he showers every day Aster: likes to bathe

Q: When drawing characters, are there emphasized specialties? A: Eiden: dick size, the balance of everything Yakumo: height, his slender body, the size of his feet as proportional to his height, finger length Edmond: waist to hip ratio, thighs Olivine: chest, eyes Quincy: arms, shoulders, pecs, Topper Kuya: face, palms Garu: his face/cheeks shape, his round butt Blade: eyes, balanced model-like body, his cheeks when he smiles Dante: perfectly triangular upper body Rei: the firm lines of his body Aster: brattiness and cuteness Morvay: muscular but not too buff

Q: In Aster's mansion, does everyone have their favorite locations? A: Eiden: his own study (he designs a lot of things here) Yakumo: kitchen (cooking) Garu: kitchen (stealing Yakumo's cooking) Edmond: garden (frequently has afternoon tea here) Olivine: library Blade: library Quincy: quiet places where he can sleep Kuya: next to the fireplace Dante: living room Rei: places to put collectables Aster: personal money vault Morvay: likes being outside, doesn't like staying home

Q: Do the characters have personal clothes? A: Eiden: in his rebellious phase he liked dressing up, now he prefers simple, comfortable clothes. He has a changing room at Aster's house, and every event he'll absorb the local trends and design outfits that fit Klein aesthetics and seasons. Yakumo: aside from traditional snake yokai attire, Yakumo's clothes are almost entirely bought by his grandparents. Edmond: because he's nobility, he has a lot of clothes. Olivine: because he dedicated his life to the priesthood, Olivine doesn't have many personal clothes. Quincy: he has few clothes. Most of them are made by him, so they're rare. Kuya: he likes trendy and new stuff, so he has a lot of accessories. Garu: it was only after he started living with Aster that he started getting more clothes (Aster and Eiden buy a lot of clothes for him). Blade: he'll wear whatever people give him, and he looks good in everything. Dante: he doesn't like wasting money, but as the Sun Lord, he has special outfits for important occasions. Rei: it's fine as long as it's wearable, he prioritizes ease of movement. Aster: prefers pretty, fancy designs, and especially likes clothes with cute accessories. Morvay: likes practical (easy to take off) clothes.

[to-the-moon-and-to-saturn]

Andromeda

~Okay so this is an extra revised piece from my creative writing final portfolio last fall. I love this piece (and Cal) with my whole heart despite the faults that I have given up trying to fix at this point. Also, the translation are from google translate so if they’re wrong...tell me  but, like, in a nice way. This also marks the official start of this blog that I’m using to reblog/keep track other people’s writing that i enjoy and (hopefully) tell them how much I love it~

The pavement of the small Virginian town was hot the day Cal returned. It burned her bare heels and turned the bottoms of her feet bright red. But Cal didn’t care. She could barely feel it. She was there. Standing in front of her house. She was back after three years and she was, surprisingly, content. Something she hadn’t been in the nineteen years growing up there, something four years of college couldn’t fix, and it felt so good. Part of this because of the woman on the other end of the phone—her girlfriend—but most of it was because of those three years.

Two weeks after she graduated, Cal sent what she deemed to be the important half of her still-packed boxes to the other side of the Atlantic. Months prior she had found a political science graduate program Oslo and although it wasn’t perfect it was the farthest away. So when she got in she ignored any other acceptance letter she received.

After two months, the things she had accumulated in Norway outnumbered the things she had brought with her. After six months, most of her original belongings were back in boxes. After a year, everything except her journals, a photo album of her and her mother, and her undergraduate senior thesis had been donated.

The same thing had happened to Cal herself. Each day she was so far from home, the less she felt the strings she’d been born with. Every meal for one she made and every euro she saved felt like she was cutting another line, and after a year, Cal was driving six hours to a film festival with her girlfriend. Really, she could’ve gone anywhere because it wasn’t where she was that had changed her. It was where she wasn’t.

Her mother was standing on the front porch waiting for Cal to get off the phone. She had called her girlfriend, Margot, when she had driven up to the house and found that her mother wasn’t home yet. Cal had parked her rental car and taken a walk that ended up being a little too long—her mother was already home when she had circled back—while they talked.

“Gå og se moren din. Vi kan snakke senere,” said the woman on the phone. Go see your mother. We can talk later.

“Jeg savner deg. Jeg elsker deg,” she said. “Te iubesc.” I miss you. I love you.

“I love you, too.” 

Her mother hugged her tightly when she got to the top of the steps and didn’t let her go for a long, long time. There were tears in her eyes when they separated.

“Calliope,” her mother said, holding her face gently in her hands. “It’s so good to see you.” The smile Cal gave her was loose and genuine.

“You too, Ma,” she said. “Sorry I wasn’t here when you got home.” Her mother hugged her again. She led Cal inside when she pulled away.

“I will say, I was a little surprised to not see you on the couch, waiting,” her mother said. “But I suppose that was you before you left.”

The way her mother was looking at her made it obvious to Cal that the internal changes she had gone through on the other side of the world, could be seen on her skin as well. Maybe it was because she was Cal’s mother, but the look went past her shorter hair and glasses, to why her nails were now painted a bright color and she no longer wrung her fingers. To the calmness and self-acceptance that now filled the space around her. And it was only because she was Cal’s mother that she saw all the way to the constantly curious, constantly looking, constantly loving little girl that had disappeared in high school but was now sitting at her kitchen table as a woman.

“What do you want for dinner?” her mother asked, and just like that it was like it had been before Cal left. Almost. When Cal’s mother asked about her life, neither skirted around using “she” to refer to the woman Cal was living with. When Cal used the words “my girlfriend” they weren’t whispered, mumbled, or shouted from the rooftops—although Cal had done that before—they just…were. When they disagreed on certain topics Cal’s statements didn’t end in a question mark. Someone looking through the living room window would have seen Cal and her mother at the kitchen island preparing dinner and talking as if Cal was honoring a weekly commitment to see her mother.

Later that night as she was lying in her childhood bed watching the fan spin on the ceiling, Cal wondered how she was going to tell her mother that she wasn’t planning on moving back to the States anytime soon, if ever. Once she had moved away, she had split her life into “before” and “after,” and part of “after” was not going back, and the biggest part of “before” was this town. She had made a life somewhere else and she had no intention of leaving it behind, and she knew she couldn’t have the same life in this town that she had in Oslo. She couldn’t because that life involved her girlfriend and this town wouldn’t like that.

She turned her head to look at the tiny glow-in-the-dark clock on the bedside table. It was still too early to call home, but it was too late to do anything, and Cal’s mind was spinning too fast to sleep. While the sun turned the days into soup, the air the night breathed in through the open window was inviting. She stepped through the window onto the roof and climbed on top of the dormer, sitting where the ridge that formed the peak over her bedroom window met the rest of the roof. She looked out over the town—too small to have a skyline—that looked exactly the same as the day she left.

She took her socks off, tossed them over the side of the house, and hoped she would remember to pick them up in the morning. She probably wouldn’t and they would join the dozens of other pairs that had landed under the first-floor window over the years.

Cal sat there for hours watching the sun go down and her neighbors—the same ones she’d had when she was a kid, the same families her mother had as neighbors growing up—get ready for bed. One by one house lights turned off and all that was left was the moon and the bug muted streetlamps down below. When there was nothing left to watch below her, she leaned back against the slant of the roof and watched the sky.

She traced her fingers through Andromeda. When she was younger, she would sit on the roof longing for the freedom the mythological princess had hanging in the sky. It was her favorite constellation, partially because she liked the name but also because, just as Andromeda had been chained to a rock to die, Cal had been chained to this godforsaken town and saw no way out; waiting for Perseus to save her. But Andromeda was in the sky, traveling the world, which had given Cal hope that maybe she, too, could leave her rock behind and be free. Although dying wasn’t how she wanted to get there.

Now, though, Cal was just as free as her dear friend in the sky. She had been her own Perseus, fighting to escape the chains of this town before she inevitably drowned, or was eaten by the sea monster, and in the end, she had made it. It had been a slow and painful process starting when Cal was sixteen.

When she was seven, Cal’s mother took her to the carnival. They were there all afternoon and late into the night, running between tents and under flashing neon lights. When Cal was twelve, her mother took her and the boy next door at the carnival and sat in the dusty lot while they awkwardly maneuvered between tents. They weren’t there long enough for the lights to matter. The last time she went to the carnival, Cal was sixteen. She had plans to meet up with a girl from school and this time her mother didn’t wait for them. The two girls were there all day, laughing as they moved from tent to tent, and when the sun went down the flashing lights washed over their faces as the girl took Cal’s hand in hers and kissed for the first time. And the last. They were walking through the exit, their fingers intertwined, with plans to go to the ice cream shop when they passed a group of their classmates. They didn’t say anything, but the looks were enough. Cal’s stomach dropped at the same moment the girl dropped her hand, and her blood ran as cold as the fall air hitting her empty palm.

She spent the rest of the weekend crying, always on the verge of throwing up, and wishing that her mother would move them to Alaska, but she knew they couldn’t afford it. The next month passed in emotions rather than minutes and days. At first she tried to pretend nothing had happened, when it was clear her classmates had told everyone they could, she hurtled through a roller-coaster of embarrassment and fear. Three and a half weeks after it happened Cal found out the girl she had been with had said that it was all Cal’s fault, and her feelings had solidified into anger, marking the end of the month. She decided she wasn’t going to wait for an invitation to leave. She wasn’t going to wait to be taken from this town by someone else. She wasn’t going to wait for this town to eat her heart and soul. She was going to leave.

And she did.

Eventually.

Her eyes now closed, Cal realized that while she still wished she could have left earlier she was no longer angry about it. That wasn’t to say she had no hard feelings for her classmates anymore, because she did. It just wasn’t all consuming and the only thing driving her to do better anymore. God only knows when that happened, Cal thought. Somewhere between when she had started living for herself and falling in love, probably.

Deciding it was better to not accidentally fall asleep on the roof, Cal climbed back through the window and into her bed. Her jet lag was finally catching up to her now that the sun was down and she had nothing left to do, but she still tossed and turned for the next hour. Even though she had come to terms with everything and found her spot, she still felt out of place in her hometown; the place she thought she would live forever for most of her life. It was a weird feeling and trying to figure out what that feeling was, was like trying to brush all of the crumbs from your sheets.

She was a stranger here. But I’m not, Cal thought to herself. Not really. I’m who I’ve always been, just...more honest. More me. The stranger, the not-me, was the girl who left. I came back. She wasn’t a stranger to the three people that mattered: her mother, her girlfriend, and herself. The rest of the town didn’t matter. They hadn’t since they decided that even though Cal’s own blood, sweat, and tears were part of the town, she was no longer one of them because she loved women.

That was part of why Margot hadn’t come with her on this trip—the other being their incredibly clingy cat who could barely last a full workday without them. If she was no longer considered a member of this community, if they were going to treat her like an outsider, then she would act like one. She had nothing to prove to them other than that she was doing well. She didn’t need to walk down Main Street holding her girlfriend’s hand despite dirty looks. She would spend time with her mom, get too much ice cream at the parlor in the plaza, maybe lose a couple more socks off the roof, and then leave. In between, she might tell those who asked, what she had been doing since graduation, but that wasn’t information she was going to offer up on her own. If she wanted them to know what she was doing, she would have stayed.

As much as she had changed though, Cal was still a better cook than her mother, her bedroom back in Norway was accidentally the same shade of lavender as the room she was in now, and she still hated horror movies but liked being scared. Who she was at her core was still the same. Cal had escaped her predetermined, small town fate without compromising who she was and grew into what she wanted to become. She had stared them all in the eye and saved herself despite everything.

Sleep finally began to take her as her phone buzzed beneath the pillow, but by now she barely had the energy to pull the sheet on top of herself. Her Margot would still be there when she woke up.

The next morning Cal woke to her mother cooking breakfast with the food she had gotten earlier from the farmers’ market. She did her best not to make any noise as she once again climbed up onto the roof with her phone. The shingles were already warm from the sun but they weren’t uncomfortably hot. She unlocked her phone and called Margot back.

“Hey,” Margot said answering the phone. “I miss you.”

Cal smiled to herself and looked out over the rooftops. “I miss you, too,” she said.

“What’s up?” Margot asked, her speech muffled. “Or are you calling to tell me that you have come to a revelation about how to jump-start the socialist revolution and it begins in a small, conservative town?”

“No, I-are you eating?”

“What?” Margot asked, sounding defensive but not offended. “It’s almost eight o’clock, I just sat down for dinner.” 

“I’m calling because I miss you but also,” Cal paused and took a deep breath. “I’m not sure how to tell Mom we’re not moving back here. I know she’s not going to, like, hate me or anything, but it’s not going to make her happy. You should have seen her when she saw me yesterday. I almost started to cry.” Margot didn’t answer right away and instead took another bite of food.

“I think,” she said after swallowing. “There is no ‘best way’ to tell your loving mother that you’ve decided to live on the other side of the world for the foreseeable future. I think you just need to tell her.”

Cal knew she was right but she had been hoping that Margot was going to say that she had found a way to be in two places at once so this wouldn’t be an issue.

“I know,” Cal said, sounding a little defeated. “I know.”

“Cal!” Her mother called from inside the house and she sighed.

“I guess now wasn’t as a good a time to call as I thought,” she said with a small laugh. “I have to go.”

They said their goodbyes and Cal climbed back into the house. Her steps her soft on the stairs as she avoided all the squeaky spots out of habit. The kitchen table had been set for breakfast and pancakes were cooking on the stove; the first batch was already on the table. Cal served herself a plate of pancakes, fresh whipped cream, and fruit, and sat down so that she was facing her mother.

“Ma,” she said. “We need to talk. Or rather, I have something I have to tell you.” Her mother looked up from her cooking and gave her a warm smile.

“Honey, I know,” she said. “You’re not staying.” Cal must have looked as shocked as she felt.

“Calliope, I’m your mother, I know you,” she continued. “I know how unhappy you were here—I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take you away from here—and I know how happy you are now. You deserve the life you have and I know you know that. Was I hoping a little that maybe you were going to surprise me and say that you were moving closer? Of course. But I also wasn’t deluding myself into thinking you were going to come back here.”

Tears tickled Cal’s cheeks. She took a deep breath trying to lessen the lump in her throat but she didn’t try to speak. She knew that if she did she would start to sob. It wasn’t that this sort of kindness was out of character for her mother, because it wasn’t, it was that no matter how happy she was with her current life, she had still grown up with only one source of support in a community turned against her—even herself—and so she never expected to be supported even when she knew that there were people who loved her.

“Mama,” Cal whispered, her voice breaking. Her mother took the pancakes off the griddle, turned off the stove, and walked to her. She sat down in the chair next to Cal and took her band.

 “Maybe I wouldn’t visit you if you lived in, say, California—you know how I feel about that fault line,” her mother joked. “But there’s no place you could move to that would make me stop loving you.” Cal tried to tell her she knew that but no sound came out as her mother leaned over and kissed her forehead.

[ticktockstuck]

TTS Flag Friday: The District of Seaside

The flag of the Seaside District is split into three bands of color, a blue river separating black and sandy gold bands. Three bands represent the district’s three distinct sectors while the visual arrangement mimics the local environment, with the black sky above the worldsea and the unexplored depths below it. The bands’ colors are linked to these sections: black to the eastern third, at the edge of the city and the most economically run-down of the three; blue for the business-laden center of Seaside, where the majority of the docks are set up; and gold for the wealthy south, neighbor to the aristocrats’ manors in the Emerald District.

The two stars represent firstly the fact that Seaside was chronologically the second district, secondly they represent the two rivers running through the district, and thirdly they represent treasures dragged to the surface from the watery depths. That the stars are four-pointed also has dual meaning, firstly to resemble the navigator’s compass used by the local sailors and secondly to represent the eight bridges crossing over the rivers. The national symbol of the seven-toothed cog has special significance in Seaside, as the district was the first to face the now-ubiquitous Clockwork Network. The cog is inverted (unique among Tick-Tock Town’s district flags), a decision which officially was an aesthetic choice but is rumored to have been done as a result of Seaside having an openly less favorable view of machinery than other parts of the city.

After Tick-Tock Town was initially established in the area that would later become the Central District, it started expanding out towards the nearby coastline. The area built up around the coast and the local rivers became the second district of the city’s eight: Seaside.

Seaside is home to Tick-Tock Town’s local docks and piers and serves as the major trade center of the city, taking in goods from the rest of the planet and taking raw metals and other supplies across the planetary ocean. Along with foreign goods the district has a healthy influx of foreigners; Seaside, next to Prosperia, is the major gateway visitors take to enter Tick-Tock Town and it’s common to see newcomers to the city strolling among the crowds of natives.

East Seaside makes up part of the city’s edge, a dingier corner of Tick-Tock Town bordered by the outside world on one side, the ocean on another, the Dersite District to its north, and the river on its last side. Much of this sector is rectangular residential blocks split up by warehouses and shipyards, and to the annoyance of the locals a good chunk of that residential area is inhospitable when it isn’t uninhabitable. Seaside East has been part of the uncivil war waged by bands of Erisoldiers bleeding over from the city edge in the north, a menace that has ruined homes and taken lives. While Seaside is a booming business center, its eastern third receives the least of that bounty and its people have had to learn to deal with the havoc on their own.

Seaside Center is home to all the city’s major docks, with respectable businesses and modest homesteads making up the most of this area. The area along the dockside is tailored half for the native sailors and half for the incoming tourists; upscale hotels, seedy bars, treasure peddlers, and vendors of goods that are suspicious, tacky, or both. Further inland, and the district turns to more respectable businesses and modest homesteads. This sector of the city is big on travel, featuring the local stop on the city monorail as well as ferry service to an offshore island used by Tick-Tock Town to host airships.

South Seaside is the sector that has benefited the most from the sea’s bounty, with the wealth generated from the shipping industry and other businesses in Seaside tending to sink itself into the South. In the neighboring Emerald Quarter the coast is dominated by aristocrats’ manors and that trend bleeds into Seaside, with much of the coast in South Seaside being used less for boats and more for the view. That splendor translates to the entertainments here being for the benefit of the wealthy: theaters, art galleries, music halls, even a neon carnival built into one of the district’s bridges.

While the three faces of Seaside all contrast with each other, their architectural faces all build from the same mold. Seaside is only bested by Central for being the oldest district in the city but it lacks the tower-style architecture marking other historic areas. Much of the oldest buildings were lost when the Clockwork Network appeared and began devouring chunks of the city, and when they were rebuilt during the Reconstruction the area favored a more cubic style of construction more familiar to the city’s visitors. Not that “cubic” means “geometric”; buildings are coated in the swirls and curves of the ocean waves, roofs spiral and scallop like seashells, even the walls might be decorated with loose shells and glass. These eccentricities are more apparent the further west you go, but nowhere in Seaside will you see machinery built into the buildings, a deliberate design decision.

The Clockwork Network entered the city from the sea near Seaside, and visitors to the docks in Seaside Center can still see an amputated stump of the great machine rising out of the water where it first rose so many years ago. That Seaside got to experience Clocknet’s assault on the city first has soured its residents towards the industrialization and mechanization embraced by the rest of the city. There’s a heavier emphasis on manual labor here: folks are expected to carry their own weight, automation is actively discouraged by the vice-mayor’s office, and the sweat of a hard day’s work is worn like a laurel crown. The same antimachinist streak means that while dolls are still legal citizens here (by citywide mandate from the Mayors’ Office in Central) and functionally free to act as they choose they’re at greater risk to be on the receiving end of hate crimes. Compare this to the inverse situation in the neighboring Dersite district to the north, where dolls have more protections but only because they’re seen as tools and a source of labor.

Notable Residents of Seaside: The Ampora Family, Remele Namaaq, the many mutant doppelgangers of Tagora Gorjek, Polypa Goezee*.

[burntcopper]

Top Ten (ish) theatre of 2018

The Convert (Young Vic) Dr Jekyll and Ms Hyde (Rain or Shine) hadestown (NT) wise children (Old Vic) measure for measure (donmar) a very very very dark matter (Bridge) twelfth night (young vic) antony and cleopatra (NT) twelfth night (Wiltons/ Watermill) Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo (Peacock) Sylvia (Old Vic) othello (globe) Dance Nation (Almeida) Fun Home (Young Vic) much ado about nothing (abbey ruins) winter's tale (globe) much ado (rain or shine) machinal (Almeida) a midsummer nights dream (watermill) two noble kinsmen (globe) translations (NT) as you like it (globe) cinderella (bourne) the way of the world (donmar) absolute hell (NT) the writer (Almeida) strictly ballroom (Piccadilly) the inheritance (Young Vic) caroline or change (Hampstead) much ado (globe) book of mormon (Prince of Wales) gundog (Royal Court) the york realist (Donmar) hamilton (Victoria Palace) dry powder (Hampstead) the brothers size (Young Vic) julius caesar (bridge)

Top Eleven (in no particular order)

Twelfth Night (Young Vic) - relocate the action to Notting Hill during carnival, replace some of the text with songs, add dancing, add the cross gartering being jogging lycra and Malvolio on a segway and doing full broadway tap, and ...uh... I may have seen this twice.

Twelfth Night (Watermill / Wiltons Music Hall) *rubs hands* right, we're going to set this in a 1920s speakeasy, transfer it to a shabby victorian music hall, the cast are all actor-musicians (it's a watermill thing), do a whole bunch of modern songs in Postmodern Jukebox style, (Lourde's Royals is the most *perfect* Malvolio song), Sir Toby Belch is female, Orsino is tone deaf, and Malvolio finds himself by dressing in  stockings, suspenders, satin knickers, a waist cincher, smeared makeup and a metric tonne of body glitter.  QUESTIONS? 

Sylvia (Old Vic) - not finished musical of the Pankhursts. (due to cast illness, the second act was still very creaky and they had the entire run as in preview)  Literally a raised fist for female empowerment, suffrage, rights, family rifts due to differing ideals, and a resounding 'fuck you' to Winston Churchill and the establishment. (especially from his mother and wife)  Alongside the amazingness of Beverly Knight as Emmeline Pankhurst was the tininess of the entire audience doing an indrawn breath on 'Oh, hi, Emily'.

Fun Home (Young Vic) When there's audible sobbing at least twice during the musical and then the bar is full of people crying on each other afterwards, that is a damn good job of hitting the audience where it hurts with your tale of growing up in a funeral home and discovering your sexuality.  We're not even mentioning the set.

A Midsummer Night's Dream (Watermill) Cast of actor-musicians?  check. the fairies are mostly dressed as shabby magicians?  check. Titania is glorious? check.  Bottom is female, turns male as a donkey, and is one of the most gifted physical comedians ever and could gurn for England? check and *mate*.

As You Like It (Globe) Half the cast is genderswapped, Celia is deaf and signing and bringing the house down, Touchstone is completely deadpan and tormenting the entire audience because it's fucking Pearce Quigley finding new jokes you could only do in the Globe and James Garnon is playing Phoebe and has *not* overdone the blusher, thankyou.

The Writer (Almeida) - we're going to go entirely meta, we're going to rage against sexism in theatre and writing and direction and life and we're going to ask what the hell a baby is doing onstage.  And every. single. woman in the audience will hiss.

Strictly Ballroom (Piccadiily) Take the film.  Add MORE dancing and neon and lycra and ruffles and sequins and then add Will Young as an Emcee doing most of the singing and at one point put him on rollerskates for the hell of it.  

Caroline or Change (Hampstead) Sharon D Clarke, we are not worthy.   (also we're going to give extra chocolate to the costume designer)

The York Realist (Donmar) - How to break your heart with the tale of a yorkshire farmer who gets cast in the Passion Plays and meets a young director up from London.  No sexuality issues, just utterly lovely and family and life getting in the way.

Hamilton (Victoria Palace) - everything you've heard is true.  Jaw droppingly amazing, deserves every possible plaudit and the london cast is brilliant.  And there's nothing like a london audience laughing contemptuously at King George III doing a Boris Johnson.

WORST

Absolute Hell (NT) The characters may bloody be trapped in purgatory of not going anywhere, the audience doesn't have to be.  First play I ever walked out of.

[zarla-s]

In your art trade where Sans,Papyrus, and that human are playing with the toys; do I spy a VOCALOID KAITO on the floor? Are you a fan of Vocaloid? If so what is your favorite song?

I do like Vocaloid! Well, I’m really more into the music than the characters or anything… I’ve posted a lot of songs I’ve liked over the years, but off the top of my head Trash Pops, Irony, Various Feelings, and Drowning in a Wave of Grief come to mind.

But since I love making lists of songs, here are some of the recent ones I’ve picked up lately that I’ve liked.

Simple (Rin)All I Need Are Things I Like (Miku)        -Of interest (to me anyway) for All I/You Need Are Things I/You Like is that I’ve seen two different translations for it, vgperson’s here and descent’s here. While the basic jist of each translation is the same, the different word choices end up giving them each a different feel to me. I think about the lyrics of this one a lot.Diamond (Miku)THE HEIGHTS (Ruby)Disappearance Addiction (Miku)GLEAM NEON (Miku)Birth the world (Miku)I / O (IA, ONE)Phorone Bot (IA, CyberDiva)¼th (Kaito)Parallel World (Honoka Elie)Voices in my head (Luka)Nerve Impulse (Yamine Renri)The Cover of Night Descends (ONE)Prototype Declaration (ONE)Before Birth (Miku)WASSHOI ~Our Ultimate Festival Song~ (Miku, Rin, Luka)Nyanco Overflow (Momone Momo)1imb0 (Luka, Miku)Villainous Self-Riser (Len)Raindrop drops (Miku)Source Life (IA)Glucagon (Luka)Outernet Explorer (Miku)Though Rejected, Though Rejected (Kaito, Meiko)Funk beat≠Junk beat (Kaito)Goodbye Lady (Miku)Shelter (Miku)Laughing Mannequin (Gumi)Throbbing (Miku)Nightmare Carnival (Miku)The Flower on the Sunset Hill (Sachiko)smile chain (Miku)Trance Dance (Miku)Don’t Stop the Music (Kasane Teto)Hanamaru World (Miku, Gakupo)Little Parade (Miku)Citrus (IA, ONE)

I could go on and on and on. And there’s Childish War of course, which I did a whole flash video to, and I’ve Learned Too Much; I Have Gone Mad which i also did a flash video for, haha. I also did a Temmie version of Nyanco Overflow that I still think is hilarious. I spent a night listening to a cover of Villainous Self-Riser picturing cool skelefights, and I would love to do an Undertale vid for Dusty Dirty Curse since the lyrics are perfect but I can never really pin down the visuals…

[jittereye]

Getting to know you meme

So... I was tagged by @chamiscones to do this and tbh I’ve never done anything like this on tumblr. I actually never USE tumblr - write anything, post stuff I do/create, interact with people, etc. - all I do is browse and like memes and anime *cough*Evangelion*cough* artwork/fanart/images. Anyways, I thought maybe I’d be fun to try, so I’ll give a shot, answering the same questions @chamiscones​ did, plus a few more I��ve altered/added - oh, and thanks for tagging me! :b  Name (IRL): Nikolaj Country: Denmark Relationship status: Single Lipstick or chapstick: Neither Last song I listened to: Bones - CtrlAltDelete Last movie I saw: Your Name (it was great btw) Favorite color(s): Green Top 3 shows/series/movies: I’ve altered the question and I’m going to mention more than 3, deal with it: - Neon Genesis Evangelion - Spirited Away - Fight Club - Drive - Lost in Translation - Django Unchained Top 3 characters: Now this is tricky, what is a “top” character... Hmm, I’ll mention one from a game, one from an anime and one from a movie/series: - Geralt from The Witcher game series - Asuka from Neon Genesis Evangelion - Walter White from Breaking Bad (however, this could’ve been SO many other characters - just had to pick one). Top 3 ships: - HMS Iron Duke (1912) - Carnival Sunshine - Project 667BDR "Kalmar" ... It’s a joke, I don’t do ‘ships’, I do REAL SHIPS :^) Aaaand that’s it. It seems you’re supposed to tag some people that then have to do it, but as this isn’t really a “follower” page currently - and as I’m not a big fan of tagging absolute strangers - I’ll just skip that part. Thanks for reading or whatever. ^^