#never been happier to have that done | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blueskyheadleft010 · 2 years

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Internet’s been crappy at night recently when I wanna play Warframe, so I just decided to switch it to solo and hunt for all the Kuria I’m missing.

I’m more than 3/4ths of the way now, and will probably have it complete by next week.

#yes I am using a tutorial #warframe #kuria #I just finished the sealab maps #never been happier to have that done #if only I didn’t have so many deadline commissions I need to work on #I’d be done with the quest already #a vast majority of these golden kavats are fairly easy to spot #others are just shoved into the highest corners to reach #and it makes me scream every time #literally cannot get to them without an operator #I had to cram my in the middle of a sign just right #to scan one hidden there #seriously screamed irl in anger #what do I get from doing all this?#a Kuria prop and an icon #but mostly mad respect #also it’s fun I guess #you get to find a lot of secret rooms

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raiiny-bay · 4 months

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wip

#hi. i think this edit is almost done #well. no. it IS almost done. probably gonna finish it tomorrow #i really want to do some writing today but will i?#i think i need to join like. a writing group or something bc i suck at self motivating but #idk. sounds scary. so. probably not.#i wouldn't know where to find one anyway & if i did. i probably wouldn't interact much.#i'm one of those doesn't speak unless spoken to people tbh #n e way. i've been really into my plants lately lol #my lil round cactus is growing fruits!!!!#it's never done that before so i'm hoping to save the seeds & try growing them myself. gonna set up a terrarium #& my haworthia is looking significantly better than it was before #it was all sunburned & sad but now it's very green!!! & happier!! i think i need to water it today #my desert rose however....... needs work. i don't think i know how to take care of it very well.#i looked up care instructions & it said to keep the soil moist but also to let it dry out completely so??? idk that's a lil confusing #i'm gonna put it in a more gravelly soil & see if that helps #i also propped my bunny ear cactus bc it was getting all droopy & heavy so #now i'm gonna have baby cacti!! so exciting #rainyrambles

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shannonsketches · 1 month

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something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle

#thank you this has been the laziest media analysis post of my career #dbtag #media analysis #something something a game to goku is a threat to vegeta etc #there's a pinned thought here about how Vegeta also didn't learn about the dragon balls until he was ?? 30?? and so all loss is permanent #and goku has been familiar since he was ~12 and hasn't faced a permanent consequence since he was 10 years old and even then he got closure #sometimes I think about how Vegeta saw Trunks die and how Krillin was mad at him for reacting since they could fix it with the dragon balls #but Vegeta has very limited experience with the dragon so to him in that moment that was permanent and Trunks was Dead. Forever.#And we talked before in a 2am post about Vegeta having never experienced grief born of love and I stand by it because his feelings then wer #still very new and very odd and not something he'd accepted until that moment so it was raw power but not as powerful as it could've been #all this to say in my heart of hearts I think Vegeta deserves to retire at the end of super (if super continues) -- not as a warrior #but as an infantryman. he's a prince and now he's got his domain and his family and his planet to look after and I think he deserves #to go home and stay home and help piccolo bully gohan into training more often when goku inevitably leaves to hop the multiverse #geets wanted to take a sabbatical when Bulla was born but didn't get the chance because Freeza coming back freaked him out too much #but whether freeza gets a redemption arc or gets defeated -- Granolah's arc seemed to shift his perspective on being the strongest #and I just grips fist I just think it would be a really nice full circle for Vegeta to inherit his throne in a way he never expected and #finally get his kingdom to look after and protect in the way that he was looking forward to being king of his own planet all those years ag #Goku's got Broly and Jiren and Hit and all the others to keep him busy and happy now -- and if Freeza gets a redemption arc he'll probably #continue playing slap-ass with Goku for the rest of his life -- and Vegeta's got Gohan and Piccolo and Goten and Trunks #I just think them getting a nice bittersweet 'This is where we part ways' would be really nice for both of them because !!#They couldn't have done this without each other. They couldn't have known this kind of life was possible without each other.#So they swap lots and live happier than they ever imagined they could be #especially since Vegeta has proved to himself that he can close any gap Goku creates in progress that's not a concern anymore #And obvs the door's always open!! There's no point closing it Vegeta's tried the locks they don't work on Goku #anyway here's me putting the whole essay in the tags again #this isn't an essay as much as it is stream of consciousness tag blogging #anyway i'm too lazy to write fic or draw comics so we get ramblings instead

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alchemyne · 4 months

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there is so much joy in life and food

#i have been enjoying life and eating so much amazing food lately #that i would never have done b4 #now regret being too scared to eat all the incredible food in new york when i was there #because there is such a confluence of cultures there aauugghh #but i certainly am having a really good time now :3 and i don't think ive been happier truly #this weekend has been amazing 🩷#food positivity #food mention

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delucadarling · 9 months

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One of the small mercies of having Christmas to myself is not having to sit and watch every woman in the family feed every man and child a plate of food, and watching those men and children chow down, before the women who cooked the food so much as sit down with a plate and fork.

#darling speaks #I know this isn’t how it is in every family #but I have watched women cook clean arrange organize and bust their asses #for men who have done nothing and yet will complain it wasn’t done well enough #men can be wonderful I know this #but it’s such standard behavior to me #that a man who makes his own plate is impressive to me #a man who makes his wife a plate gets a pat on the back #anyway my mom asked me to spend Christmas with them and I have never been happier to say NO

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apolloskazoo · 1 year

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the average totk depths experience of finding what you thought was the last lightroot but quickly finding out there’s another, smaller lightroot you still have not found

then finding that one and realizing there’s another

then giving up. the depths aren’t worth it you guys

#totk #loz #quite literally spent an eternity down there #and every time I find the “last one”#THERE’S ANOTHER ONE AND IT’S EVEN MORE HIDDEN #good news is I got skyward sword and now instead of suffering in the depths #I’m suffering in one of the many ss dungeons #I’ve done this to myself :( I chose this life now I have to live it (I have never been happier)#Tears of the kingdom #the legend of zelda

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thatcatbasil · 7 months

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OH RIGHT RW ART MONTH IS TOMORROW

#basil speaks #gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #ive done thumbnails for mostly everything. so i do have clear ideas for what i'm doing for like uhh 85% of the prompts #but ive been soooo busy with my classes. 18 credit hours kicking my ass rn #confession i am working ahead (did that last year too cause i was unsure how much free time the classes i was taking would leave me with)#but even then i only have 2 things done. sweats #and on top of that i never even finished coding that gallery page for last year's art month #but better news! today i scrapped it and started fresh. code and layout is way cleaner and i'm way happier with it.#i promise it'll see the light of day eventually. though “eventually” may be several more weeks or months hehehehahaheh

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pepprs · 1 year

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ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

#purrs #i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life #situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to #drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a #stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well.#i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i #am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone #and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good.#delete later #that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd #this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be #neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority #and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol.#24 year old dependent moment <3 #well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will #never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰#side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester #starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like #this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it #would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or #anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol #well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol #except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade #plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me #god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set #looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u #the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control #executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont #wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral #sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive #lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not #forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho #my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly #need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im #dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter #what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by #my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything #interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to #fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i #described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that #idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean #ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said #she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the #parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the #disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage #but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain #just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked #unrelated

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facetsofthecloset · 5 months

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Tbh my life would be pretty perfect right now if my current part time janitoring job paid. Like. A livable wage. Genuinely love doing it, the hours are perfect, I like my coworkers (and don’t have to interact with them much which might contribute to that lol), it leaves me so much time and energy afterward to enjoy my day and live my life—

Except I’m still scraping the bottom of my savings to pay the Existing Fees. Not quite as fast, which is nice, definitely, but like. What if I wasn’t in the red and had this job I think is important and enjoy but also doesn’t consume 110% of my whole life. What then, huh? I might have a good time? I might actually have a chance of kicking my constant SI at some point? Can’t have that can we? Misery is the currency that runs the world isn’t it? Can’t have people having a good time. We might be better off as a society then and that’s not allowed obviously

#still a bit jet lagged so it’s 2 pm and I’m delirious but like #come on #come the fuck ON I could actually be HAPPY it’s like RIGHT there I can fucking see it #it’s just an entire decimal point away #and that might as well be the other side of the universe #ramblings #tbh this is the most optimistic and well-adjusted I’ve managed to be about my life in. well pretty much ever #I am happier than I was and you have no idea how amazing it is to wake up at 5 am and be like ‘alright! let’s get ready and go to work :)’#and have that be genuine!! not a forced smile hanging onto my last thinning thread! I’m #I walk to work and every day I think ‘it’s a beautiful morning’#and I come home and think ‘I’m tired but satisfied. let’s take a break and get some chores done’#and I’ve NEVER been that. idk. FUNCTIONAL in my life before #but this is unsustainable #bc I need to get a different job that pays enough at some point #or replace the time I have to maintain my home with another job #which I know would overtax me and make me miserable unless it was a /perfect/ fit as work for me #it’s not fair #it’s so STUPID #it’s just. INEFFICIENT #and I’m still fairly privileged and lucky #like. fuck. everything is just so fucked

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nolanhattrick · 11 months

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this thing is gonna be over 25,000 words by the time i'm done with it and that's terrifying because that is BEFORE i go back and expand on ideas and individual sentences and shit and i'm... looking down at my hands like there's blood on them what have i done

#am wip posting #<- new tag to blacklist i'm gonna be insufferable until i finish this #my entire life has stopped and that's so unfortunate because there are so many other things i need to get done #but this has :/ taken over my brain #i would like to be a contributing member of society and interpersonal relationships but instead i have been consumed by the need to Produce #can i be normal for five seconds #there's never enough time and that's. so evil #mom and i constantly joke that the days need to be 100 hours long but. it's so true #there needs to be 5 of me lol #my post #i was happier when i had writer's block how sad is that

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whoviandoodler · 2 years

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I think the moment you stop thinking of every joyful activity in terms of how far away you are from an unreachable goal (instead of enjoying a book, you think about how you'll never be able to read every book written ever; instead of enjoying a craft, you think about how many things you don't know about it and how you'll never be able to make everything you want, etc), and learn to slow down and just enjoy the process of doing it, you'll feel much happier.

#dan talks #art #crafts #books #i used to do that w books until i realized i can just. read whatever at my own pace #enjoy it more and be happier #and when i see people obsessing and unhappy over how theyll never read everything #i feel sooo sad for them like. youre diminshing ur joy!!! w unnecessary panicking!!!#maybe its the fact i believe in multiple lives or whatever but. i do believe nothing is achieved #by panicking over how much ahsnt been done #and how much will never be done #or maybe thats me being disabled and having to come to terms w things ill never be able to do #either way #try to live in the moment of joy and not think of these impossible goals

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obstinatecondolement · 1 year

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Genuinely devastating to discover that I still have a lot of feelings about M*x L/and*s' adaptation of DGHDA.

#like... that shit about him that came out didn't shatter any illusions I had of him #I never idealised him as a person #I kinda thought he was smug and annoying tbh #but I really really loved the show #and like do not mistake me: I could not be happier that it was cancelled and that his career was torpedoed #when the allegations against him became public #fuck a tv show!#I don't care how good your tv show is if you do the things he is said to have done #and like even then he'd been criticised for years for being a hack nepo baby who'd fumbled more chances than most people ever get #so like yeah the fucking chances stop here!#so like this isn't a 'I miss the show' thing or a 'I feel guilty for liking the show' thing #I just get reminded of the awful stuff whenever I remember the good stuff #so on balance I wish I didn't care about the good stuff anymore because I can't just compartmentalise and focus on that

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wexhappyxfew · 1 year

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taylor swift: do you really want to know where i was april 29th?

me: taking my orgo II exam

#haha yes i in fact was #but IM DONE #NO MORE ORGO #literally never been happier to never have to look at orgo stuff AGAIN #bane of my existence darkness of my life #so so glad #yes shout out to taylor swift 🫡🫡🫡#shannon stuff #college #SO GLAD ITS OVER #taylor swift