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astringofmadhousefloozies · 3 years

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Birthday Sequence

Three friends have their birthday in a month of each other, and the parties get progressively more interesting. Content warnings for coarse language, offscreen sexuality, underage drinking and the consequences thereof.

As always, check my Twisted Wonderland Fanfiction tag for more, let me know if you enjoyed reading, and if you want to chat or ask a question, my askbox is open.

~*~*~*~

"You look great."

Idia made a whine you were certain they could hear in Savannahclaw and put his face in his hands. "Why did no one tell me about the birthday event?"

"I dunno, because we'd all assumed you'd seen everyone else put on the prissy little birthday boy suit and dance around like an idiot while I did an interview, and realized you weren't exempt."

"But why didn't you make Crowley skip me?" He looked ready to cry, so you you got up on tiptoes to kiss his nose and dry his tears, which simply had the opposite effect.

"Because maybe I wanted to see you dressed up pretty for a change?"

He just groaned. "Wasn't the festival enough?"

"Never enough; not with you. I'll make sure me and Ortho are your bodyguards, okay? Now, get out there and pretend they're all in their underwear. I got a present on the table for you. And..."

"And?"

"If you're truly overwhelmed, I'll bring you back here to hide, and get you out of the monkey suit myself."

It took him three seconds to turn a truly absurd shade of pink, and flee out the door of his room. The only thing scarier than a crowd where you're the center of attention is a lover who's relentless in voicing her attraction, if you're a neurotic dweeb with a molten core of self-hatred.

~*~*~*~

He'd relaxed somewhat as the presents went on. After checking with each person if they'd rather he open it now or in private (shuddering every time someone said now, in fear of bad reactions), he'd so far wound up with a super mega deluxe vinyl release of the Moirai's most recent album (despite not owning a record player, but it came with the digital album and lots of feelers so he still liked it very much), piles of sweets, and wouldn't have to pay for the subscriptions on most of his game for at least two years. And, he still had a pile to go through.

"Who's this one?"

"That's me. Go ahead."

He lifted the lid off the box, and took out a little creature, a sofubi toy of transluscent grey plastic painted with pearly stripes and shiny green eyes. "I've never seen this Nyarochi before." He turned it this way and that, a small smile on his lips. "Where'd you get this?"

"I got it blank at that second hand shop you showed me."

"... Blank." You could see the gears turning.

"Why do you think I asked to borrow your airbrush?"

Turning, turning... there we go. "You did this?"

"Yeah, dude. One of a kind, just for you."

He looked back and forth between you and the toy, smile growing. Once finally settled on you, he lit up - literally; his hair let out a bright, sparking burst that left spots in your eyes. You think he might have said thank you, you were too busy reeling from the sweetness of his expression, all directed at you, and little Nyarochi was tucked in his jacket pocket until he finally left for his room, you in tow.

~*~*~*~

"Hey Sam."

"Hey, Yuu. What can I get for you this fine day?"

"I got a list. I'm making something for Lilia. Did you know he's a new year's baby?"

"I did!" Sam scanned the list, only to set it down and raise an eyebrow at you. "I have much of this, and can order almost all the rest. You do know I'm not allowed to sell alcohol to a minor."

"It ain't for me, though. Do you know where I can get it?"

He shuffled around in a drawer before sliding a card across the table. "In Stock Now! The solution to your problem."

It was your turn to raise an eyebrow. "Sam. Does Crowley know you're selling fake IDs?" Your turned it over. "Really, really good fake IDs?"

"Crowley lets me do what I want, because I might stop doing what he wants."

You laughed. "Gross. Alright, I don't know the price, but can I get a discount if I help you stock a few weekends?"

"I'll do layaway just for you, if you come in next week."

~*~*~*~

"Yuu!" Lilia leapt at you, and you swung him around in a hug. "It's so great to have you here! Where's my loot?"

"I got to finish it, let me go a minute."

He did, and watched with interest as you set up from your cooler. You ran a lime around the rim of a glass, and crust it with red salt before filling it with ice.

"Yuuuuuuu. My little darling. You know I'm too young to drink."

"No you're not, dude. it's an open secret, like what happens in that shed behind the gym stays there and you don't get admitted to NRC if you're completely heterosexual." You added the mix to the glass, before tossing in a celery stick and sliding it over to him.

He barked out a laugh and took the glass. "That's true all right." He sipped at it and smiled. "What is it?"

"At home they call it a Caesar. I made up a shitton and I'm leaving you with the recipe, which you have to follow. I figure you liked your tomato juice, so..."

"It is just my taste. Thank you." You'd only blinked, and he'd already finished it and slid the glass back. "More, please."

~*~*~*~

You'd learned two things tonight, of which you'd only dimly suspected one. The first was that Lilia could probably drink the entire school under the table, staff and ghosts included. The second, far more interesting thing, was that when tipsy, Lil talked about his past, and in his past, he truly redefined the meaning of "absolute slut".

Looking like a particularly cute teenybopper had not stopped him from fucking his way through most of the Court of Thorns, and a great deal of the places he'd visited, in ways both inventive and more than occasionally disturbing. You really, really ought to stop him; poor Mal was standing out on the balcony with his fingers in his ears, singing very loudly to drown out the noise, but you were too busy taking notes. Kalim was listening to his fellow Light Music Club member in awe, and Cater had been recording for the past forty five minutes, though you were pretty sure if he uploaded any of this his Magicam account would get permabanned for pornographic content.

"And that's when his sister - fabulous woman, cunt like a ripe fig and she'd start giggling every time you..." he stopped and swirled his empty glass. "Where'd my drink go?"

"You drank it all, dear. There's none left."

"Aww. Why'd I have to share it all." He set his glass down and plucked the half-full one from in front of Silver's sleeping form. "Hey, did I ever tell you what I got up to with his," nodding out towards Malleus,"his grandmother?"

You never found out, as Mal simply bodied him clean across the room before any more could be said.

~*~*~*~

"Vil."

"What."

"Can I borrow your lab equipment?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Why."

"I wanna make perfume."

He brightened. "Finally decided to stop smelling like a haunted house?"

"Vil, I actually pay real money for perfume that smells like a haunted house. I have multiple. Sometimes I layer them, to mix with the natural scent of the haunted house I already live in. And it's not for me, though if this works I might try to make stuff for myself."

He wrinkled his nose at you, somehow not creasing his makeup. "Why should I help you?"

You thought about it, and then shrugged. "Well. Why not?"

"... I hate that I can't argue with that. Come on."

~*~*~*~

You have no idea if the party was sedate because of the relatively few people outside of Diasomnia, or because everyone was scared of potential etiquette breaches. You could not complain either way; parties wore on you as they went on and Idia hadn't tried to leave in fear. Either way, Mal was starting to go from blandly cheerful host to fretful.

"What if there is too much cake? I don't wan't to have to finish it."

"You don't have to, dude. Cake's for sharing."

"When I was young, I was the only person at my party who wasn't a servant. So I would end up eating the entire cake by myself, every time." He stared off into the middle distance. "I don't really like cake."

"That's the single saddest thing I have ever heard in my entire life, holy shit dude."

"Why have a cake then, if you don't like it?" Idia was halfway through his piece. Third piece, actually. You envied his capacity to eat what seemed like his weight in buttercreme and not get nauseous, even if you worried for his pancreas.

"Tradition," Mal said, as if he was explaining the most obvious thing in the world.

"You should have done an ice cream cake, then. You actually like that."

"That is an option?" He paused, eyes full of wonder. "What else can be ice cream?"

You cut in before Malleus could continue down a road of ice-cream-everything. "You know, if you're that worried about leftovers, why not send a wrapped slice with the thank you cards for the gifts? Gets rid of it all so you won't be compelled to eat it ‘til you're sick."

Mal instantly grabbed you. "You are a brilliant, amazing, genius of a person. I'm glad you're my Son of Man and I like you very much."

Idia gave the tinest of coughs, looking towards the poison-coloured flames in the fireplace.

"You are mine too. I like the special case for my Dragon-Kun very much."

"Thought you would." He smiled down at his plate.

"Oh, shit, yeah. Here's mine." You brought the bag out from behind your seat and handed it over; Mal shredding it in his excitement.

"... What is this?" the box inside revealed a set of five amber bottles with screw-on tops.

"Your own special perfume blend. Rose petals from the Heartslabyul garden, blackberries, and the fruit of a blackthorn tree." You leaned back in your seat and struggled not to laugh at your own hideous pun. "I call it Feeling Thorny."

Good thing the box was well padded, because he dropped it in his laughter. Idia, bless his heart, wound up choking on some of the cake and needed an entire glass of water to stop coughing.

"I got the goods!" Lilia and Sebek had returned, the latter glowering at you over the top of a dusty crate as though he'd assumed you'd simply eat his precious prince alive the second his back was turned.

"What's the goods, Lil."

"Well, he's got friends he made here for this party, so I figured I'd crack something open from my stash." He pried the top of the crate with his bare hands, which would have made you need to sit down if you hadn't been already. "Saving this for a special occasion."

"Lilia, there's no need to bring that out for us."

"Nonsense! You deserve it! And this party's too damned slow. A little wine will be just the thing, and this is very light stuff, you'll all be fine."

You doubted that, but still accepted the glass of liquid gold when offered. It smelled sweet and floral, and to your pleasant surprise, did not taste like fermented misery when sipped.

Wait a minute.

"Lil, if I drink the fairy wine, I don't have to go live in the Valley of Thorns forever, do I?"

Malleus, seizing opportunity, sad "Yes" at the same time Lilia said "No" and Lil elbowed Mal in the ribs for it. "I'm not invoking any of our more traditional rules of hospitality. If I must," he said, elbowing Mal again before he could try to weave anything, "Let this be in return for being such wonderful friends to both me and my boy."

"I'll accept it." You sipped more as Silver wandered over and leaned over Idia for a glass himself. Idia simply drained his own to try and distract himself from the proximity of him before the anxiety kicked into high gear. Maybe it would vanish entirely if you got him profoundly drunk, you thought to yourself, but that wasn't something you wanted to try. He had enough issues without his deciding alcoholism was the solution to his problems.

Time to settle down and enjoy the evening. The wine didn't feel like anything, so what could possibly happen?

~*~*~*~

You woke up with a pounding head, your party clothes in disarray, and new and interesting pains. You examined yourself and your surroundings, and let things come back naturally.

Lilia, being very generous with his bottles, to the point of not letting a glass go empty at any point. Malleus sitting with his legs crossed and head in his hands, gazing warmly and not without hunger at a both very animated and disheveled Idia as he talked. You getting up to leave, and sitting right back down because your legs didn't work, so you'd simply...

Simply wound up here in Mal's bed, instead of home. With both of your boys.

The evidence wasn't the best. No telltale soreness, but you had a number of new and interesting bite marks, including one very high on your inner thigh with the dentition clearly showing fangs. Your underwear was in place, even if the tule of your pannier was shredded, so you didn't think you'd done anything more than very heavy petting. And to tell the truth? The idea of having done anything more didn't bother you - truly, there weren't other people you'd rather have done it with - but the idea that you had? And you couldn't recall all the fun details? Agonizing.

You leaned over, holding your head, to brush the hair off of Mal's face. He looked at ease, and had managed to slot himself into his weird pillows, so at least he wouldn't wake up with a crick in his neck.. You checked your boyfriend, clinging to Mal's far side like a lanky blue limpet. On his collarbone, at the spot where you preferred to leave your own marks, was a bite similar to the one on your leg. You had to turn away at the sight; the images it brought to your mind left your flushed and dizzy with want despite your pain. How fun, to learn new and interesting things about yourself.

Idia stirred and sat up. He looked to you, to Mal, to you again. His face had no expression beyond starting to turn rapidly grey and sweaty.

You pointed. "That door."

He nodded once before stumbling off to bed and through the bathroom door, to puke away his hangover.

Alright, next step. You poked at your sleeping friend. "Mal. You alive?"

He opened both eyes, bloodshot with a hair-thin pupil, and started making a noise akin to a base boosted tea kettle up 'til you placed a pillow over his head to shut him up. Fortunately, it worked immediately, he lay where he was like an idiot until adjusting it so the pillow merely blocked the top of his face.

"Yuu. How are you feeling?"

You thought about it. "Like I got run through a laundry press. You?"

He smacked his lips and ran his tongue over his teeth. "My mouth has grown fur."

"Wonderful."

"Light hurts."

"Par for the course."

"I'm not sure what else yet. Where is Shroud?"

Another bout of heaving from Malleus's bathroom answered that thoroughly.

Mal pouted. "Poor thing. He didn't even have that much."

"We all had enough. I'm still remembering bits and pieces."

He reached towards you and grabbed your arm, squeezing. "You are... you..." As much as he struggled for the words, the anxiety in his voice made the meaning clear enough.

"I'm not upset over any of it. I just hate that I don't recall it clearly yet." You extracted your arm from his grasp, and slid off the bed. "I'm gonna get water from the hall bathroom. You want any?"

He smacked his lips again, and smiled, wider than you'd ever seen him do before, specks of blood still crusted in the grooves of his teeth. "I can still taste you on my tongue. I never want it to fade."

"Hhhhhholy shit you need water. Bye." You left to try and hide the wobbling in your legs that wasn't from the hangover.

~*~*~*~

"You."

You stopped, and stared. It took an entire four seconds to realize that the large, half-dressed green bean glaring at you from the doorway was Sebek before he styled his hair in the morning. "You mean like, my name, or just me in general?"

He pointed a finger, hissing out his words. "You finally did it! You evil little minx."

"I didn't, actually, or at least not what you think."

He kept going, trying to keep his voice down. "You've seduced Lord Malleus! And now you're going to try and steal the crown."

What in the actual fuck. And he wasn't done yet. "You cruel temptress! Leading him on just so that you could become a queen our people would detest! My poor lord, at the whims of some-"

"Hey, you jealous there, Zig? You mad you aren't serving him all ways? If you want his dick so bad-"

"Shhhhhhhhh!" He looked over his shoulder, back inside, before glaring back at you. "I couldn't do that in good conscience! Lord Malleus deserves someone who holds only him in their heart. He's not my whole heart, so I wouldn't try. You, you have damn near everyone here wrapped around your fingers! And it's still not enough for you!"

"Sebek! He is my friend. And I give zero fucks about the whole throne thing, just so you know. Why would I want to be a queen? That shit sounds exhausting. And he isn't going to ascend until my great grandkids are in the dirt, so, yanno, shit planning if I tried."

Sebek was trying to think of a rebuttal when a pair of hands squeezed him from behind. "Stop yelling. I'm going to brush my teeth." Silver let go and circled around, dragging his hand along Sebek's waist as he did. "Be ready when I'm back." With that, he walked past you with his small smirk to the bathroom you'd just exited, wearing nothing but one of Sebek's shirts.

You watched the hemline skirting the back of his thighs with entirely too much interest before looking back at Sebek. "God damn, dude."

"Say anything else and I will throw you out the window."

~*~*~*~

Mal had traded his bed for sitting on the floor, braced against the wall by the bathroom. He'd managed to close the drapes against the garish light of morning, and the sounds from beyond the wall had changed from sickness to a running shower as you gave Mal a cup. "Drink up, asshole."

"How am I an asshole?"

"Because it's your birthday we all got drunk at."

"Please blame Lilia for that. Fairy wine is not something humans should start the evening with." He sipped the water and grimaced.

"Taste bad?"

"I forgot I didn't want to put anything else in my mouth after you."

"Mal, no. There won't be a repeat, even if I don't really regret it."

He looked at you with heart about to break. "Why not?"

"It's not fair to either of you! I love you dearly, but I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with him." You sighed. Even as more of last night came back, you realized you may have broken the whole thing beyond repair. "And how would you like it if you saw me running around with someone else? Don't say you wouldn't be jealous. You've got a five mile streak of it."

Mal was silent, before saying very quietly, "I don't mind so much after having him too."

"Yeah, well." You put your head in your hands. "You're sure he didn't jump out the window to hide in his room forever after that?"

Mal knocked againt the door, wincing at the noise. "Idia? You are present? You're alive in there?"

A few moments before that shaky reply of "I'm not sure, check in five minutes."

Mal smiled. "That's promising, is it not?"

"You know I can hear you out there, right?"

"I didn't."

"I can." More silence. "Also, the window doesn't open."

You quirked your mouth. "Is the shower helping? I might need a turn."

"Some."

"Do you want to talk about last night?"

More silence, before a small, "Not yet," as the shower shut off. "Can I borrow a robe? My clothes are wet."

"Go ahead, Idia."

He exited in a cloud of steam and purple-black terrycloth, and simply laid down on the floor, gripping it as if he would fly off.

"Still bad?"

He noded, cheek pressed against the floor. Fresh from the water, his hair was low enough that you could make out the actual hair on his head, each glowing like the finest fiber optic thread.

"Well. I don't think any of us are going to class today. So stay as long as you need to."

"Thank god, I don't want to try those damned stairs until my head's on right." You thought to yourself for a moment. "Is Ortho okay?"

Idia actually managed a smile. "I told him I was thinking of staying over and trying to activate event flags."

It took you a moment to understand the implications of that. "Noooo. This was not your idea."

"Mal wasn't. But. Ummmmm." He held up a hand and wiggled it. "He was there?"

"Your boyfriend is interestingly pliable when someone puts their mouth on him. A trait you both share, actually."

You felt ready to burst into flames. This could not be happening. "So who's idea was you getting under my skirts, Mal? That bruise is going to last weeks."

"Yours, actually. You wouldn't let go of my horns until you were satisfied."

The memory of that, and more, hit you like a transport truck, and you simply laid down and refused to say anything until Lilia burst in, disgustingly chipper and with a platter of burnt toast to chew on until the worst of the hangover was gone.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fanfiction #idia shroud #lilia vanrouge #malleus draconia

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lifeinahole27 · 4 years

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CS ff: “Walking the Tightrope” (Chapter 10/10) (au)

Summary: Killian’s daily routines are a matter of habit. When he wakes up late one morning, his routines all change for the better. Emma doesn’t care about routines, but she does care about Killian, no matter how reluctant she is to admit it to herself.

Rating: E (the content warnings matter this time!)

Content Warnings: Everything from the previous chapter applies as far as the Walsh business is concerned. Other than that, a very tame chapter.

A Special Thank You: My continued gratitude to my lovely friends, @captainstudmuffin and @phiralovesloki. And a heap of love to @captainswanbigbang for putting this together and helping me accomplish this.

A/N: So, this is the last main chapter. There is an epilogue which I will post on Sunday, and then this grand adventure will be wrapped up! Thanks for being with me on this ride and for any comments, reblogs, and likes. I’m thankful beyond words. <3

Find it on Ao3 & FFN!

-x-

Chapter 10: Snowshine

Walsh still looks exactly the same as the last time she was here. Emma tries her best to keep her stomach calm when all she wants to do is throw up on his face, projecting an outward cool that she doesn’t feel as he enters the room and looks up at her.

“What the - Emma? What the hell are you doing in my apartment?”

“Taking back what’s rightfully mine,” Emma says, gesturing to the box of pictures sitting on the bed beside her.

“Oh no, sweetheart. I would hardly call all of those yours.”

“Don’t call me sweetheart, asshole.”

Through all of this, James has been watching a progress bar load on the computer screen. With a noise of victory, he looks back to her.

“There you go, Emma. All done.”

“You brought David with you? Mr. Wouldn’t-hurt-a-fly?”

“Oh, buddy, believe me. You’re gonna wish I was David by the end of this. Good job hosting a whole website with a bunch of non-consensual photos on it. But shame on you for making it so easy to break into.”

“You have another brother?”

“Didn’t I ever tell you that David was an identical twin?”

At the little jingle that plays from the desk, he tries to push James out of the way. “What did you do to my computer?”

“Gave it a little tune up,” James tells him, crossing his arms with pride as a little unicorn marches into the center of the screen.

All three of them watch with rapt attention as the unicorn stands and waves, before squatting.

“Oh my god,” Emma says, bursting out in laughter as the unicorn defecates in the shape of an artfully written “fuck you” in rainbow colors.

After a couple seconds, the whole thing emits a screeching noise and shuts off with a loud pop.

“All your buddies that subscribed to your email list got something pretty similar. I mean, I don’t know if they’ll all open it but with the heading ‘Check out the brand new section!’ I’m willing to bet a lot of dudes are about to lose their computers.”

Walsh finally makes it around James, desperately trying to turn on his computer but nothing happens when he hits the button. “All of my business files were on there.”

“You kept all your shit on your personal computer? Wow. You’re even dumber than I thought.” James turns towards Emma on the tail of that thought. “You ready?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Emma responds, picking up the box of photographs and handing it over to James. They manage to make it out of the bedroom before Walsh must come to his senses, and he’s after them immediately.

His hand closes around Emma’s arm, and she spins around. On instinct, Emma swings as she breaks the hold. And while James misses taking a snapshot of that hit, he doesn’t miss the one where Emma knees him in the nuts hard enough to bring him to his knees.

“I have the perfect new image for the welcome screen on his trash web page,” James says as Emma backs away. He holds the phone out for her to see and she just barely stops herself from cracking up. “Here, take this. I’ll be right behind you.” He hands over the box, gently ushering her towards the door.

She doesn’t go far, leaving the door cracked just enough to hear what James has to say to Walsh.

“Here’s the deal, you Wizard of Oz-looking monkey piece of shit. All of the accounts for that website are completely wiped out. All that money you made off of people like my sister? That money is so far offshore that you’ll never be able to trace it ever again. Got it?”

“I’ll call the cops,” Walsh says weakly.

“You won’t. You have no evidence. And if you try to do that, or ever try to do this again, I will screw up your whole life. We’re in a digital age now, Walsh Whitney Covington. I have everything of yours now. Personal records, social media, bank accounts, the password to your pretentious little LinkedIn page that lists you as a connoisseur of wood, which… come on, man.”

“That’s all illegal,” he whines back, and Emma is mostly just enjoying the snivelling tone in his voice.

��Yeah? And? I’m sure Emma signed a consent form for those pictures you had posted of her, right? You had her sign away her financial freedoms for the profits on it, too? Don’t ever fuck with our family ever again or you’ll regret it.”

After a couple more minutes of silence, James exits the apartment and gives her a bright smile.

“Now, that was a fun afternoon with my brother. See? We should bond like this more often,” Emma says as they make their way out of the building and back down to where he parked his car.

“Yeah yeah, don’t get used to it. Jack would kill me if she found out this is how I spent my day.”

“You’re still with Jack?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I did marry her, after all. She wanted to wait until she made partner to have a baby and so I switched gears and became a stay-at-home dad after she went back from maternity leave. It helps to have a super lawyer as your wife.”

“None of the words that just came out of your mouth are what I was expecting when I called you about all this.”

“Well, it’s not like I send out Christmas cards with updates on the family,” James says, a little resignation in his voice.

“Did you really take all the profits from the website?”

“And refunded the money you spent on that settee you bought there back before you started dating.”

Just as he says it, Emma’s phone dings with a notification. There’s a message from her bank saying there’s been a deposit into her account. Looking at the numbers, it’s way more than what she paid for the moderately priced item, but James shrugs.

“Maybe I got the numbers backwards in my head. Added an extra digit. Whatever. So you mentioned earlier that you have a boyfriend? You haven’t changed your status on Facebook.”

“You follow my social media?”

“Just because I don’t let any of you know about what’s going on in my life doesn’t mean I don’t check up on you.”

“Well, I’m supposed to be at a Christmas party for his company down in New York but someone insisted we do this today.”

He rolls his eyes as he opens his door and climbs into the driver’s seat. No sooner is she seat-belting in when another notification chimes on her phone.

“Did you seriously just buy me a plane ticket to New York City?”

“I’ll hand all of that over to David,” James says, indicating the box she placed in the backseat. “Besides, he and I are severely overdue for a brotherly chat.” Without another word, he starts a route for the airport.

“When was the last time you had one of those? When you were fifteen?”

“Something like that. Hey, text him and let him know what’s going on. I should be back there in about an hour but I don’t want him to worry.”

She shakes her head, doing as he asked and sending a message to David.

As they pull up outside the airport, Emma turns to James. “So, what do I still owe you?”

“Nothing. I got the cash he had stashed in his desk, all the money from his subscription side of the website, and free childcare for the evening after Jack gets home from the office today.”

“Did you tell David that yet?”

“No, but I will. And you know he will - he’s David. Go on,” he tells her when they arrive a short time later. “Enjoy the party.”

“Okay then. And hey, thanks for all your help. I couldn’t imagine doing that with anyone else.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, Emma?”

Her door is open and she’s just about to climb out when he says her name.

“It was nice seeing you,” he admits.

She leans in quickly and hugs him, noting how familiar yet utterly foreign it feels. “Come visit us sometime,” she tells him as she pulls away. She stands there until his car pulls away and he’s out of view before she walks through the doors.

Somehow, James managed to get her the perfect flight so she had enough time to get through security, although she looks suspicious as hell going in with nothing but her purse, if you ask her. It’s still considered early when she lands in the city, but with nothing else with her, she has to get party-ready with nothing but the money in her bank account. Thanks to James, there’s a little bit extra to play with in there.

Emma feels like she should be in some cheesy movie montage as she struggles to find everything she’ll need to get ready. Hair and makeup come first, and she’s thankful the salon isn’t far from a decent looking clothing shop or else her charges in cab fares alone would’ve gotten out of hand.

The dress she finds is perfect - a sleek, black number that doesn’t fit too tight but that doesn’t hide her shape. It’s similar enough to the dress she was planning on wearing to this, the one she borrowed from Ruby as a first-date possibility but put aside in favor of the soft pink she wore instead. She admires the whole look in the mirror as the shop attendant helps her clip tags after Emma pays. She buys two pairs of shoes - a cute pair of cutout ankle boots and a pair of flats - in anticipation of the point in the party where she’ll want to feel her toes again.

It’s only once she’s fully satisfied with the total picture that she heads out, making sure everything she wore down here is tucked securely into the weekender bag the attendant helped her pick out.

This time, she opens the rideshare app for a little more comfort, and then it’s off to the Manhattan Penthouse to finally get to where she wants to be.

-x-

Tucking away the knowledge that Robin just gave him, Killian settles into his seat with only a lone glance at the empty chair beside him. He has Henry on his other side, and the rest of the Mills-Hood family in the remaining seats. They’ve not even begun when he receives a sharp, bony elbow to the side.

“Hey,” Henry whispers as he leans close. “Isn’t that Emma?”

He turns his head, glancing in the direction Henry is pointing, and his breath catches. Sure enough, Emma is standing there in a black dress that surely should be illegal to look so good in. Her hair and makeup are all done, and she’s scanning the room. It takes another elbow to his ribs for Killian to finally stand up, waving over his girlfriend and attempting to wipe the surprise off his face while he does.

“Hi! Sorry I’m late.”

“You’re just in time, actually. I’m so… don’t get me wrong, Swan, but I never expected you’d be able to make it.” He leans forward, pressing a kiss to her cheek and taking a moment to soak up her closeness.

“Yeah, well, sometimes when you make a deal with the devil to take down satan, you get what you want faster than you expected,” she says, and while he doesn’t fully understand, he knows he’ll get the full story later.

He pulls out her chair for her, pushing it in as she sits. “I do believe we all know one another,” he says to the table at large. “I’d told them to cancel your meal, so excuse me while I get that turned around.”

“Emma! I’m so glad you’re here!” Henry who’d been sitting on his right, beams from ear to ear as he slides over to talk to her.

“Hi Henry. Everyone. Glad I could make it.”

Hearing her voice and the animated conversation that sparks up between her and Henry immediately calms his nerves for the evening, and he hastens to find one of the caterers so he can return to the table.

By the time their dinner is served, he’s noticed no less than four times Henry has pulled out his iPod to jot down something in his notes. He smiles as he watches it happen, watches the gears turn in the lad’s head and the magic take root. He manages to keep it in his pocket for the entirety of the meal, but he’s pretty sure that was due to a questioning look from Regina right as the salads were placed in front of them.

With the rest of the table occupied with their desserts, Killian takes a moment to lean over, keeping his voice low as he whispers in her ear. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” she says, a satisfied little smile on her face. There’s been a peace evident on her face since the moment she walked in, and he’s intrigued but enjoying it. She was never too tightly wound to begin with, apart from the times she got stuck in her own head. This, he assumes, is due to the business with her ex being all wrapped up.

After the dishes have been cleared, Killian rests in his seat for a bit. There’s still a lot more networking he’ll have to do, but for now he takes the time to relax as he and Robin discuss strategy for announcements. He’s in the middle of helping figure out the order when Emma’s hand creeps onto his thigh. His words falter for a moment, and he can see Emma’s smile get just a little wider.

When her hand travels a little higher, he reaches down, knowing full well that his ears and cheeks are both bright with flush, and takes a moment when Robin is asking Henry a question to fully turn to her.

“Have pity on me,” he whispers, pulling her hand to his lips to place a kiss on the back of it, and she laughs quietly, turning her palm to link her fingers with his.

“Just this one time,” she concedes, settling in with their hands clasped.

-x-

Walking into the venue, Emma is momentarily overwhelmed. She forgot that the Storybrooke office isn’t the whole team, and that a lot of the authors would be there, so there’s just a sea of people as far as she can see across the space. But then Killian stands up, her eyes finding his as he waves her over.

And it’s halfway between where she is and where he’s waiting that it hits her full in the gut: She is in love with Killian. She is so in love with that man that she can hardly stand it. He has never once looked at her differently or placed unrealistic expectations on her - he never set out to hurt her.

There, with the lights of the chandeliers glittering overhead, and the backdrop of the city getting dusted in snow, Emma realizes that she is looking at the man she wants to spend all of her time with if she can. Her heart squeezes, even as she smiles and accepts the kiss he places on her cheek as they settle in.

It’s the first time she’s ever been to a party like this, and she has to think it’s going pretty well. While Killian is occupied with his duties, Emma offers to watch Roland so Regina can go with Robin as he makes rounds to greet everyone. Emma follows him as he drags her from one end of the penthouse to the other, eager to show her anything and everything he can.

By the end of the night, her feet hurt and she’s all too happy to get her belongings from the coat check room so she can slip on the flats she bought. She’s leaning against the wall, innocently trying to pry her feet out of the booties when Killian comes up behind her, his hand warm through the material of her dress and his voice hot in her ear.

“Are you trying to kill me tonight?”

“I’m just trying to change my shoes. It’s not my fault your eyes automatically go to my ass when you approach me.”

He looks affronted when she turns to look at him, a smile hiding behind the expression.

“Besides,” she says, “I just can’t wait for you to get me out of this dress.”

“I’m ordering us a car right now.”

It’s amazing; she knows he prefers the quiet and solitude of their little town, but he performs so well in the city - like he was built to live here - and she loves that he chooses not to. They’re both on their best behavior in the car, but Killian purposely sat on her left so his hand can rest on her knee. Rather than spiking that part in her that’s always game for another round of sex, though, it reignites her thoughts from when she entered the party and she stares at him in the dark as the city lights pass them by.

When he notices, he turns to her with a peaceful look on his face, and they smile at each other. “What?” he asks, his fingers tightening once.

“Nothing,” she replies, taking the moment to rest her head on his shoulder for the rest of the journey. “Tonight was great.”

Back at the hotel, they at least manage to settle a bit before Killian follows through with her request, with both of them sighing as the dress slips from her shoulders and drops lightly to the floor. They take their time, slow and languid, savoring each moment with each other.

“I know I’ve said this plenty of times, but I am so happy you were able to make it,” Killian tells her as their skin is still cooling. She needs to go wash the makeup from her face but she’s not quite sure her legs will function in order to do so.

“Me too.” She stares at him, her eyes roaming his face and sinking into the wonder that has been the last three months of her life, thanks to this man.

“What is it?” he asks, his expression serious as he tries to figure out what she’s thinking.

“I… want to thank you for everything. You went into this without knowing and you still haven’t pushed me to talk about what happened or anything and so I just… wanted to say thanks.”

His smile falters, still there but just a touch disappointed that the words weren’t the ones he was expecting after she set it up to be something else, and she knows how it feels. Her thumb strokes along his cheek, pushing at his smile briefly as she leans in to kiss him.

Maybe next time, she thinks as she moves to the bathroom to clean up before climbing back into bed. Outside, the city keeps moving on as their world slows for sleep.

-x- December 21: Saturday

As usual, Killian is the one that wakes up first. He sets about ordering breakfast and jumps in the shower in the interim. Emma is awake and sitting up in bed when he comes back out, and he leans over the bed to kiss her good morning.

“David texted me that he’s on his way home. He has everything we took from Walsh and he’s going to drop it off at my place.”

“That’s certainly good news. Even better news is I have coffee and breakfast being delivered soon.”

She chuckles at that. “Perfect. I wish I had more clothes with me, but I suppose yesterday’s will be fine.”

“My luggage is yours, love. I always pack extra just in case, so help yourself.”

Which seemed like a good idea, until Emma walks out of the bathroom after her own shower in one of his button up shirts, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows and her supple form filling out the garment better than he ever could.

They eat breakfast in bed, the curtains flung open wide to let in the weak, winter sunshine. As they graze their food, Emma books her ticket for their return to Storybrooke, crowing in victory when she scores a seat on Killian’s flight.

“I’ll text David and see if he can pick us up,” Emma tells him when they’re getting ready for their outside adventure, pulling her hat securely over her ears and wrapping her scarf around her neck.

They brave the cold to hit some of the popular winter activities in the city, taking in the Christmas markets and strolling Fifth Avenue. In the early evening, they meet up with Robin, Regina, and the two boys again to enjoy dinner together. With the pressure from the night before long gone, they talk instead of the upcoming holidays.

It’s clear that Henry is willing to keep the magic alive for Roland, asking the younger boy what he’s planning on asking for Christmas when they go to see Santa after the meal is over. When Killian catches Henry’s eye a short bit later, the lad smiles and gives him a thumbs up.

After dinner, they set out on their own again to see the Rockefeller tree in person. They stand there, watching the lights twinkle and the skaters on the rink until neither of them can feel their toes and their noses are bright red.

Sinking into their hotel bed that night, Killian makes sure to set his alarm, but Emma grabs for it before he can set it down.

“Just wanted to double check. Wouldn’t want to miss your alarm or anything,” she says, that smile hidden in the corner of her mouth.

“Cheeky woman,” he says quietly, making sure to kiss her hard and lovely before they each burrow under the covers.

There’s another message from David waiting for Emma when they wake up letting her know they’ll be there to pick them up. Thankfully, with no luggage, their disembarking process is much faster and they’re able to get out of the departure door right as David and Snow pull up.

While they go their separate ways when they get back to town, he and Emma have a standing appointment for later in the afternoon to take everything that was acquired from Walsh’s apartment to send it off properly, as she did with her uniform.

He sets to work on a mission, unpacking his bag and stripping off his dirty clothes to throw everything in his hamper. There’s still time before he meets with Emma, but since he’s been out of town since Friday, he’s behind on his weekend duties and he knows he’ll feel better if he takes the time to do it now rather than waiting. He throws his clothes in the wash, opting for warmer clothes for their task ahead. Instead of sitting around and waiting for the machine to be done, he takes the time instead to pack a picnic of sorts for the task ahead of them. Those items and a blanket all go into a tote bag he got from the last publishing conference he attended.

Shortly after his laundry is folded and put away, Emma breezes through the door with a large box in her arms.

“Ready?”

“Aye, just let me grab my keys.”

He locks the door behind them on their way out, and then they make their way to the beach closest to his flat. There’s a fire pit that was built ages ago, large stones surrounding it and a fresh pile of logs that Killian would place money on betting that David set it up for them.

As he sets to work lighting the fire, he hands Emma the tote to start unpacking their items. She hums happily as she finds the soup, and again when she opens the second thermos that has the hot chocolate. He’s just finishing with his task when he turns to see her pouring the drink into each mug he brought, and raises an eyebrow as she tips a generous amount of whiskey into each one.

She shrugs when she sees his look. “Believe me, I’m going to need it,” she says after a sip to taste-test.

They stay on the beach much longer than most people would in December, with fresh snow occasionally falling around them. But they make sure each individual picture makes it into the fire. As delicately as they can, they remove them from the box, and he hands a stack face-down to Emma for her to fold each picture so he can feed it into the fire.

She sets the thumb drive on the rocks around the pit, making sure to give it a solid stomp before throwing that in as an afterthought.

“I’m sure it’s terrible for the environment but I need that thing wiped from existence.”

When each item has met its demise, including the box it was all packed away in, Emma puts out the fire using every precaution he’s sure David taught her.

Back in the comforting warmth of his place, Killian pulls out every blanket he owns and waits for Emma to come out of his bedroom from getting changed into pajamas. He piles them on top of her, going to change his own clothes before joining her on the couch. He holds her while she processes the whole thing - some anger and tears, some relief, until she falls asleep on Killian’s shoulder and he has to shift around until they can both stretch out.

He doesn’t fall asleep until long after she does, whispering a quiet “I love you” against her hair before he finally falls asleep, as well.

-x- December 23: Monday

They’re still on the couch when Emma wakes up, if only just barely. She’s facing Killian, her back pressed against the couch, with Killian’s arm looped over her waist. She’s just opening her eyes when she hears his gasp and then he’s teetering off the edge. Now wide awake, she peers down to see Killian wincing on the floor.

“Are you okay?”

“Just peachy, love,” he grumbles, rubbing his head where it smacked on the floor. She’s stifling laughter when he leans up and kisses her softly. “Good morning to you, my sweet couch hog.”

“We could’ve moved at any time. Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Because I love you and wanted you to rest more than I cared about my own comfort,” he responds, only realizing as he finishes speaking that he may have said too much. His eyes, wider and brighter blue than she’s ever seen them, meet her steady gaze.

“I love you, too. But that’s a little dramatic of a reason for why you’re now on the floor.”

“I’d go to the ends of the earth for you. Or time. This time just happens to be on my remarkably uncomfortable area rug.” She can’t help the laugh that slips out this time and she runs her hands through his hair. Hangover be damned, she loves this man so much.

“Thanks again for last night. I was a bit of a mess,” she says, even though it feels like a vast understatement to what she actually was the day before. He waves his hand to dismiss her words.

“Sometimes, we just need to throw a mini-rager and burn a bunch of illegally obtained pornographic materials. You sure we’ll never need any of that as evidence in case there’s some kind of criminal investigation?”

“James was pretty clear with Walsh about what would happen to him if he tried to pursue legal action. Not only that, but every picture on the website has been removed and the only thing that pops up when the site is unlocked now is a picture of Walsh clutching his junk with an expression of pain on his face.”

“I wish I could’ve been there to see you make that hit,” Killian admits, pushing up off the cushion to stand. “Come, love, let’s sail away to the kitchen where I can recite dirty poetry to you and make you breakfast.”

She laughs as she takes his hand, because while he doesn’t recite dirty poetry, he does make her breakfast and convince her to play hooky with him for the day. And when he takes her to bed a short time later, he infuses her skin with the words of his love over and over again.

It’s the first time in years he doesn’t stick to any kind of routine at all, and they’re both perfectly okay with that.

-x-

Epilogue

#captain swan #cs ff au #captain swan ff #sarah writes ff #csrt

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buttdawg · 4 years

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The other day I saw someone talking about Kota Ibushi being in the Cruiserweight Classic tournament, and I had completely forgotten he was in it. That’s probably because the CWC was my first time seeing Ibushi wrestler, and there were like 800 guys in that thing, but I remembered Zack Sabre Junior well enough that he was one of the guys I latched onto when I started watching NJPW. For me the guys to watch in last year’s G1 were ZSJ, Moxley, and KENTA, since I at least knew their stuff from WWE.

So I went back to look up Ibushi’s record in the CWC, and I had forgetten that show was in 2016, and none of those matches went past 20 minutes. Nothing wrong with that. There were a ton of matches and they were all fun to watch, and not everything has to be a 35 minute epic. But it seemed a lot smaller to me now than it was four years ago.

My attitudes about wrestling were different in 2016. Everything was WWE for me, and that’s what made the CWC kind of a big deal, because it was very different from what WWE normally did, just a big-ass tournament of smaller guys having workrate wars and doing flippy shit. I felt like I needed to pay close attention to the matches because they were expected to be very good, and I always felt a certain twinge of guilt over not fully appreciating wrestling matches. At the time, the CWC seemed like a way for me to turn that around, and see some new talent.

That all seems kind of quaint in 2020. I’ve watched NJPW and AEW for over a year now, and I’ve dabbled in some indy stuff and World of Stardom. I guess New Japan helped me get over my guilt about not enjoying wrestling hard enough, mostly by showing me that it shouldn’t be a chore in the first place. It was never my job to work harder to appreciate WWE’s product; they were the ones who needed to work harder to draw me in as a viewer. So now I’m watching 20+ minute tag team matches and digging the hell out of them without the promos or even English commentary, and that’s what makes the Cruiserweight Classic seem so diminished by comparison. It probably doesn’t help that the promise of the WWE Cruiserweight Division in 2016 has been largely unrealized.

I’m to the point now where I barely recognize names on the WWE rosters. I’ll hear about Sasha Banks and Seth Rollins, but they’re taking on guys with names like “Norrin Radd” and “Dex Jettster”. I’ll watch videos about the Wednesday Night Wars, but I just skip past the part where they talk about NXT, because I have no idea what any of it means. Oh, big news, Pilo Ronar just returned to action, and he’s set to meet Bran Thangin at The Horror Show At Extreme Rules.

I get that people are invested in the whole competition, but I just keep thinking about how conflicted I was when I cancelled my WWE Network subscription, and then I didn’t even care about not seeing NXT, and now I don’t even know enough about it to know why I stopped caring. I don’t wish the show ill. If they can beat AEW in the ratings or put on better programming, that’s great, but it’s got nothing to do with me anymore.

Which is just weird, because it hasn’t been that long, and yet it feels like it’s always been this way for me. And yet, the Cruiserweight Classic reminds me that it wasn’t that long ago when the only way I’d watch a Kota Ibushi match was in a WWE ring.

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i-am-the-entertainer · 5 years

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RevieWBY Volume 6, Chapter 8: “Dead End”

You know, in retrospect, it was kind of our own fault for hyping it up to be Winter. But good on them for not making this new character like a big reveal.

There’s really not that much to say about this episode overall. I think it’s along the lines of Chapter 2 and Chapter 4: it’s dealing with the aftermath of something and setting up for something much more major down the line, thus it can’t really stand on its own. But like with those two, there’s some interesting stuff going on in this episode that’s worth touching upon, especially when it comes to worldbuilding.

Oh, and fyi: some major fandom crtq at the end.

Such Wit! Such Tenacity! Much wow!

This chapter offers up a new perspective on the Atlas military: Caroline Cordovin and her nationalist, racist attitude. We’ve been told in the past that Atlas is the kind of modern military nation, acting without reason, being very self-centered, blah blah blah. The problem is, we haven’t really been shown that: the only real Atlas military characters have been Ironwood and Winter, and (being generous) they’re the good guys. Volume 4 kind of showed just how shitty Jacques Schnee and his circle of buddies can be, but it wasn’t really a perspective on the military: in fact, in the post-gala scene Ironwood, as the military’s representation, seemed the direct counterpoint to the rich assholes of Atlas. With this in mind, this volume has sort of run with the assumption that Atlas’s support will be a piece of cake, but Cordovin present a reasonable obstacle while also giving us more insight into the kind of people who actually make up the Atlas military.

Qrow v. Ruby

Based on his bit from this volume’s intro sequence, how he’s been reacting to the revelations regarding Ozpin, and some comments from Miles on this week’s RWBY Rewind about how he feels awful because Qrow is making all the wrong decisions, this is definitely the volume where Qrow is going to officially hit rock bottom (if he hasn’t hit it already). Whereas Team RWBY is willing to stick to their guns about getting to Atlas even after Jinn’s story and Brunswick Farms, Qrow has given up. Remember, he had possibly the strongest reaction to finding out Ozpin doesn’t have a plan, because he devoted his entire life to Ozpin’s supposed cause and lost so many friends and family along the way: another obstacle has kicked him down even further. After three seasons of Qrow being the drunk uncle who’s still a hero, we’re closing in on dark territory for him.

Ruby has always kind of just accepted Qrow’s alcoholism as one of his quirks, but with this volume’s events she realizes it’s an actual problem, offering a new angle on their relationship after it’s remained at a constant level since Volume 3. This arc is developing quite well: from cautious awareness in Chapter 5 to an attempt to reach out in Chapter 6 to complete frustration in this chapter. I’m curious as to where this will go: it’s the most development/insight into Ruby we’ve gotten that wasn’t straight up told to us.

Well, You’d Be Mad Too

With the previous episode, it vaguely seemed like JNR finding out the truth about Ozpin was about to get glossed over, but NOPE. Their reactions were exactly as they should be, if not strong enough. It’s important to remember that they lost one of their closest friends in the fight between good and evil, and they have essentially been told that her death was for nothing. It’s almost on par with Qrow’s reaction, especially when you take into account how much Qrow has lost from siding with Ozpin all this time. I’m not defending their actions, especially Jaune’s, but rationalizing them in the context of this show. They were not going to take this news lightly, and anything lighter would have been unrealistic.

Can I just add: sidelining JNR for half the volume was a good writing decision. Not only does it decrease the number of characters we need to pay attention to for a storyline that needs razor-sharp focus in order for it to be delivered well, it prevents the utter mess that would’ve occurred if they AND Qrow had been present for Jinn’s story. It also provides a counterpoint to Team RWBY’s perspective: besides having witnessed everything in person, they have had a few days and a traumatic experience to rationalize their next moves. JNR has had no such thing, and they’re going to have to deal with this differently.

Learning Is Fun

In an example of planting-payoff, we finally get some insight into the silver-eyed warriors, three years after we were even aware it was a concept, and three years since we knew anything new about it other than you could use it against Grimm. I like the wink at just how little Ruby (and by extension, the audience) knows about such an important power.

This is a moment where a lot of information we get comes from talking, which is why I think this episode may feel a little slow, comparable to some of Volume 4 and 5′s lower moments. That said, I think the show deserves some leeway on this because this volume so far has really stuck to show-don’t-tell, plus since this is much-desired information having it in the first place is useful no matter how it’s delivered. It can also be said it makes sense to have this story delivered through dialogue, as presumably that’s how Maria learned: it’s like sharing a legend orally, and emphasizing just how rare the silver-eyed warriors are and how dangerous being one can be.

There’s something interesting going on in this scene that a few people have touched upon: Ruby commenting that her silver eyes were activated when she saw Jaune and Cinder sparring, prompting Maria to suggest that perhaps there was something she wasn’t seeing. On first thought, it refers to the fact that Cinder has a Grimm arm. Except the thing is, there’s no point in framing it the way they do: it’s framed as though there’s something mysterious for the viewer to think about, but we all know Cinder’s arm is Grimm. What does this imply about Cinder? Well, we know the whole reason she got the Fall Maiden powers was because she cheated: she used what could be best described as a parasite Grimm. We also know from her “training” with Salem that the new arm is almost a separate entity from her, but she needs the ability to control it herself rather than the other way around. There appears to be a broader implication that Cinder’s connection to the Grimm may be stronger than just a supplement to her powers or a prosthetic to her lost arm: is she becoming a Grimm/Human hybrid along the lines of Salem?

But then again, I could be overthinking it, it could just be an acknowledgment/reminder that Ruby herself doesn’t know about Cinder’s arm. But I guess it’s something to keep an eye on for the rest of the volume.

Conclusions

This is another set-up episode, and it’s not a particularly exciting one at that. It’s hard to judge these on their own considering they’re designed to service a larger storyline, but overall I just thought “Okay, things are gonna be harder than they thought, they reacted as we thought they’d react, we finally got some insight into stuff, and we’ve got our next major arc.” So I’ll just accept this as it is: straightforward set-up, some insight into the show’s mythology. I didn’t hate it or love it, I didn’t dislike it or like it, it was just eh. And considering pretty much all the chapters last volume made me feel “eh” and most of the ones this volume haven’t, I’m still happy to call Volume 6 an improvement.

By the way...if you’ve been on the RWBY tag these past couple of days, you’ve probably noticed my posts about the highly entitled part of this fandom complaining about the sneak peek for the next chapter on RWBY Rewind having animation errors, and the more rwde part of this fandom once again shitting on Miles for calling out someone for being an asshole about it. I admit, I’m getting a little too worked up about this, but honestly this whole business has really made my blood boil over the past week, a week I’ve been trying to use to relax after school let out for break, so, rant time.

IT WAS SO CLEARLY UNFINISHED, DID YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THEY WERE GONNA BROADCAST THE EPISODE WITH SUCH A BLATANT ERROR? It happened because they weren’t done with the episode before they sent the clip in for RWBY Rewind’s live broadcast. And don’t give me that bullshit about how you’re paying with a FIRST account for a 60 second sneak peek to be perfect, you’re paying 3 bucks a month so you can watch the episodes a week early, you know, like the rest of us with FIRST accounts are doing, never mind the hundreds of hours of exclusive content we get in that subscription! And shit, if you’re really on about those 60 seconds of a thirty minute RWBY aftershow needing to be perfect, you could’ve just watched the version that they put up online afterwards, which is so clearly the finished version not just because they fixed the compositing error but they added ambient effects and additional pedestrians in certain shots! I mean, I don’t even watch RWBY Rewind live half the time, most people don’t, I’ve just been paying to watch it starting the day after it’s recorded!

And god forbid Miles tell an asshole he’s being an asshole! I mean, how do you hold up A FUCKING 60 SECOND SNEAK PEEK as evidence of a drop in the show’s animation quality?! Have you been watching this fucking season? The animation is the best it’s been in ages. Like it’s actually absurd how much detail and attention they’ve put into shots, even non-fighting scenes! And don’t even get me started on how good the fights have been! Better sparingly used quality fights than overused often subpar fights (god, Volume 5 was a shitshow)!

You idiots go on and on about “Oh, I’m harsh on this show because I love it! They should listen to legitimate criticism no matter how I deliver it!” Newsflash: you don’t love this show. At this point you’re only criticizing it because you hate it. Because if you were actually criticizing it out of love for the show, you’d be pointing out actual issues this volume. You’d be saying something like “Oh, this kid of information should have been dropped earlier” or “This volume should not have set up Adam as a major player only to more or less not use him for the past 7 chapters.” Or, you know, point out actual problems with the show, even nitpicks like the weird fireplace effects at Brunswick Farms or some animation errors that popped up in Chapter 6. But the funny thing is, you’re not pointing that out. You’re pointing out a 60 second sneak peek that was clearly presented with no pretense of it being the final product and acting like you’ve found the ace in the hole, the proof that CRWBY is lazy and disrespecting of Monty’s legacy.

You don’t love this show. You love to pretend that you’re protecting the show from the very people that make it. But the fact is, it’s them who are in the writers’ rooms, it’s them who are sitting at the computers, it’s them who make the show you pretend to love. And if you’ve resigned yourself to just hating whatever it is they put out, then I’m sorry, but you’re not a fan of what the show is now. So you can either keep moaning about “Oh, Monty wouldn’t have done this,” or maybe accept the fact that there’s no way the show could do whatever it is Monty did because no one can do what Monty would do. They can only do what they do. It’s no longer just Monty’s show, it’s CRWBY’s show too. And if you’re just never gonna be satisfied with that, if every little thing they do and say is gonna make your blood boil, if every choice they make is completely against the show you’ve built up inside your head, then just don’t watch it. It would make all of us, including you, feel better.

#rwby #rwby6 #reviewby #crtq #rwby6 spoilers

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melien · 7 years

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100 questions tag

Tagged by @teekapoa, thank you! It was an interesting tag.

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

Closed. I like privacy :D

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS?

Hmmm no

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

Let’s just say my bed is a mess when I wake up

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE?

What no?

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES?

Not anymore

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM?

I don’t even cut them out

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES?

Neither xD

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES?

They show up only in summer but not really

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES?

No... sometimes I end up with a resting bitch face which doesn’t reflect my personality at all

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?

I think people who don’t keep their promises. And who hate on others for no reason

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK?

Maybe... sometimes

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS?

I guess so

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS?

Noooope

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING?

Sometimes xD

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS?

Only pens. Pencils taste yucky

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK?

Zero

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED?

Middle-sized one (I fit just right)

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK?

Happy birthday? Because it’s my birthday tomorrow

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK?

It’s okay for anyone to wear any colour they like

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS?

Of course!

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE?

50 Shades of Grey... it’s the most boring movie I’ve seen imo

Also those movies where they harm animals

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME?

Hmmmmmm am I supposed to reveal this? :D

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER?

Usually tea

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN?

Ketchup

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

Pizzaaaaaaaaaaa

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE?

Back to the Future 1-2-3, Love Actually, 21-22 Jump Street

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU?

I don’t even remember who I last kissed on the cheek

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT?

Nope

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE?

Well if I had a flawless body, I’d think about it... but I think I wouldn’t either way

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER?

Damn it was so long ago I can’t remember

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR?

No, I don’t even have a car

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET?

Nope

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS?

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH?

Burger

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST?

A sandwich with cheese and sausage

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME?

12 am

37. ARE YOU LAZY?

Yeah

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN?

I remember dressing up like a witch once, generally I didn’t celebrate Halloween often

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN?

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK?

Four, not sure about the fifth one

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS?

Nope

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS?

Uh legos? Because I didn’t have lincoln logs

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN?

When something is very important to me, yeah

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN?

I have no idea who they are

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS?

Nope

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?

Oh yeah

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR?

No, I’m usually there with my parents

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?

Sometimes

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR?

No xD

50. EVER USED A GUN?

Held a decorative gun at some museum

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER?

Long ago, I think it was for my passport

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY?

Yeah, but there’s nothing wrong with this kind of cheesiness. I enjoy some musicals

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL?

I don’t think so

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI?

Yeah I love them!

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE?

Probably berry pie

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?

I wanted to be a teacher... what was I even thinking

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

Maybe... but I don’t want to

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING?

Sometimes yeah

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY?

Shit xD

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS?

I do

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE?

Yeah, it makes me feel cozy and warm

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?

Old T-shirt and pants

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT?

Some local singer’s

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART?

We don’t have them here

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS?

I don’t care xD

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS?

Maybe fritos, idk they seem similar to chips

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS?

Peanuts!

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN?

Has anyone?

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS?

I used to but I’m too awkward for dancing

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING?

I’d like both of our jobs be connected with travelling

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE?

I can xD

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE?

Oh man don’t remind me, we once had this contest in middle school and I was super close to winning but mixed up one letter (I think said c instead of s), and it ended with me crying so hard that my whole face was red at photos

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY?

When I’m happy, I usually laugh and blush

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS?

Maybe old ones

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER?

Yeah but it has no use now

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE?

New Year night usually

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

Yeah... but now I’m not sure it was real love, rather huge teenage crushes

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT?

There’s a lot of singers and bands who I’d like to see! But I’ll probably never see them

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW?

Two days ago my friend dragged me to the concert of some Korean guitar duo. They were really cool and I felt sorry that barely anyone came

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA?

Hot tea, cold tea doesn’t have a taste for me

81. TEA OR COFFEE?

I can drink both

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES?

Um it’s hard

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL?

Yeah

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE?

I can (holy shit I actually had a dream today where I had to hold my breath under the water in order to escape some cruel kingdom without being noticed)

85. ARE YOU PATIENT?

I’m good at pretending I’m patient

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING?

Band

87. EVER WON A CONTEST?

Uh not really besides winning some Polish language contest at school and getting winning places at English contests but it doesn’t count does it

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY?

Nope

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES?

Green, only green!

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET?

I think I could when I was younger, because my mom is good at it and she taught me, but now I don’t remember how to do this

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE?

Living room if that’s what was meant

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?

Yeah

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH?

I didn’t have crushes at high school, I had them on celebrities and fictional characters

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY?

Nope

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

My sims xD

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS?

Yeah I do, but when I feel like I can ensure them a good life

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

Maybe blue and pink

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW?

My niece and my grandma

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT?

As usual, I tag everyone who’s feeling like going through these 100 questions :D

#nonsims #saviorhide #personal

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spookierswamp · 7 years

Text

@questforsims tagged me in this questionnaire thing bc he knows they’re my favorite lmao, answers under the read more....

DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? I'm literally terrified of people who can sleep with closet doors open like... do you fear nothing...?

DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? nah I usually end up using them all lmao

DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? untucked

HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? not a street sign I guess but one time when I was 15 I was recovering from a party at a friends house in the middle of like, the Scottish nowherseville countryside and like 6am that morning we went out to take a walk and smoke and we ended up taking one of those roadworks signs back to her house for some reason... it was dumb lmao

DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? heck yeah there's a wall in my room that's just post-it notes lmao it calms me

DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? we don't rly have coupon culture as much here but I probably would if I lived in America...

WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? they don't allow you to have bees in here

DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? no and thank goodness bc if I had freckles I'd be... too cute.... too powerful

DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? like... in group photos sure but if it's a selfie I almost never smile lmao

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? loud/messy eaters tbh

DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? yeah I used to go on long hikes/walks in the forest and I'd be out for hours and like I'd take one of those pedometers w/ me and I'd feel so fuckin validated when I saw it get to 10,000 lmao...

HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? y'all foolin if you been out in the woods and you said you haven't tbh

HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? ok this is gross nevermind

DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERE’S NO MUSIC PLAYING? nah but if you put a bop on i'll immediately start dancing

DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? part of me is like 'nah that's p gross' but yeah i probably do

HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? just one lmao

WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? like... it can fit me + another fully grown man so it's pretty big i guess

WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? So Emotional by Whitney Houston

IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? I literally wear pink every day of my life you stupid bitch

DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? yeah but not like... with the intensity some of y'all do... i really liked Gravity Falls especially

WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? most disney movies tbh... I'll never get the appeal of them as a genre lmao... special shoutout to Ace Ventura: Pet Detective for being absolute fucking garbage though

WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? I probably wouldn't even have time to hide it cause I'd immediately lose it somewhere lmao

WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? honestly it depends on what dinner is? mostly I'll drink soda or wine

WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? mustard, ketchup, bbq sauce, ranch

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? takoyaki! i also love any and all mexican food

WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? there's literally... so many... lmao... Fire Walk With Me, The Birdcage, Scream, Wet Hot American Summer, Blair Witch Project, Donnie Darko, The Craft (like.. semi-ironically but I do love it lmao)

LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? a boy but he's lame so he won't be named here lmao

WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? nah I always thought boy scouts were dumb but as an adult I kinda wish I'd been a part of something like that

WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? what kinda magazine....

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? me and my ex-boyfriend used to write letters to each other all the time! so probably like, last year

CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? nah, I've legit never even driven more than once lmao....

EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? ... the one time I drove around it was in an abandoned parking lot and my then-boyfriend was sitting next to me with one hand on the steering wheel it was fun...

EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? .... i almost hit another car that was doing the same thing but i didn't and i was so proud of myself lmao

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? meatball sub... or like.... steak & cheese

BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? pancakes, coffee, hashbrowns and/or a breakfast taco, at least two kolaches

WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? midnight or whenever i pass out after work

ARE YOU LAZY? yea

WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? aw heck so many things! Vampires have always been a big thing for me tho and I was both Spike and Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer multiple times lmao

WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? I can never remember which one but either dog or pig

HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? I can barely speak my first language lmao but I can bluff my way thru German and I've made half-assed attempts at learning Russian, Japanese and Icelandic before...

DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nah

WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? legos you dumb bitch

ARE YOU STUBBORN? sure

WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? whoms't?

EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? British soaps are genuinely class but I never rly keep up w/ them, also telenovelas are amazing and important...

ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah I love heights! I was afraid of them as a kid but ask any of my friends/boyfriends and they'll tell you I'm always trying to get people to go to the top of stuff lmao

DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? only during inebriated night-time road adventures

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? pretty much constantly lmao

DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? like... how?

EVER USED A GUN? honestly I've never even touched a gun lmao

LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? uuh high school I reckon

DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? yeah of course who doesn’t

IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? very

EVER EAT A PIEROGI? no but it feels like my kind of shit

FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? (dale cooper voice) cherry pie

OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? painter or director, something artistic or whatever, maybe something with computers I always figured I’d be good at

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? yeah I love ghosts they're all my good pals

EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? yeah and I'll do things multiple times in a row just out of not paying attention lmao

DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? yeah I take an A-Z multivit and cod liver oil usually

DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nah they make my feet too damn warm boy

DO YOU WEAR A BATHROBE? nah but when I'm a guest in a hotel w/ somebody I'm always claiming dibs on the complementary bathrobe lmao

WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? if it's cold I'll wear like a t-shirt or something

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? I went to a bunch of festivals and free concerts and stuff as a tiny lil' baby ten year old but the first one I went to without parents was probably like... Fall Out Boy? or another band from my 2007 - 2009 emo phase lmao

WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? the only thing I learned when I was in America was that Walmart is both haunted and cursed, Target is The Promised Land and Kmart is a sensory hallucination

NIKE OR ADIDAS? Adidas.... also I like the new adidas NHL kits sue me....

CHEETOS OR FRITOS? the first time I had Fritos it was with a bean dip and I almost barfed so definitely Cheetos lmao

PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? both are gross whatever

EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? no but they sound very good

EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? nah

IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? handsome genius/hockey player

CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? heck yeah

EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? I legit don't think we have those here but I definately would have if I competed because I was the best damn speller in my class

HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? I laugh-cry more than anything tbh

OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nah I used to have a record player and I've bought a bunch of records as gifts for people but like I download all my music anyway so I'm 2 lazy 2 cheap lmao

OWN A RECORD PLAYER? ^

DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? nah but I love candles

EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yeah but honestly once was enough lmao

WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? literally one of my only goals in life is to see Bjork live before she quits music or I die lmao... also Math the Band (again), Anamanaguchi, Mac Demarco, The Mountain Goats...

WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? not like a concert I guess but I went to see Kim Chi perform in February and it was lit

HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? like... Iced Tea? the way this is worded is disgusting lmao I'll go with hot tea

TEA OR COFFEE? I literally make coffee every single fucking day of my life @ work and like... not only do I now hate it I hate anyone who drinks it lmao

SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? what the fuck does this mean

CAN YOU SWIM WELL? yeah!

CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? yeah!

ARE YOU PATIENT? yeah!

DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? I'm not the kind of person to have friends who are in bands and not ask them to play at my wedding lmao also wedding DJ's are always weird old men

EVER WON A CONTEST? yeah I've won like.. talent shows and stupid semi-academic shit like that but nothing super cool

HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nah but no question i'd absolutely get it

WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? green

CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? nah but i can kind of sew

BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? every room but only if you live in a log cabin or some shit

DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? yeah but like, not for the sake of being married?

IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? ^

WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH? aw man I threw a lot of time and energy into dating boys in high school but like... my biggest crushes were always unattainable and short-lived lmao so no-one notable...

DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? god honestly any single one of my friends/previous boyfriends will tell you I throw tantrums over literally anything lmao... I usually act pretty stable and emotionally mature but when I'm comfortable with people I'll fuck shit up for no reason lmao

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? nah

DO YOU WANT KIDS? I'm way too self-centered and emotionally unavailable for any of that shit right now lmao but in like 10 years I'd be open to it for sure

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? forest green, goth purples, black, pink, also what can only be described as like, Nickelodeon slime green

DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? uhhhh pass

WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? nobody! it's like, 100 questions long and I don't feel comfortable that tagging any of you won't be annoying lmao but if you wanna do this msg me and I'll tag you in it! ! ! !

#nonsims #questforsims #abt me

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cowardlytrait · 7 years

Text

☀ 100 questions no one really asks ☀

i was tagged by @batsysims , thank you ! 😊

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

i sleep with it closed !! it’s mainly so one of my younger sisters doesn’t go in there tbh

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? i’ve never actually stayed at a hotel so no djghdfgbd

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? out?? whenever i do sleep with a sheet on my bed, because i tend to not remake my bed so i generally sleep without a sheet for a while which i know isnt good for you so im trying to break that :/

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? i considered it once, bc i was walking to my friends place on new years eve and i saw a street sign that fell in a storm , and i almost took it.. except i still had 10 more mins until i got to her house , and i didnt want to have the possibility of getting caught . also ?? idk how i wouldve brought it home on the bus

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? y e! but i dont use them enough ngl

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? nah, but my mom does that v often . and i often have a bunch of coupon reciepts / punch cards from different places that i always forget about

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? hhhhh bees

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? i have a few !! primarily on my arms and legs, and a few on my face,, i never really had many until last year

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? yes?? im p bad at smiling for photos tho ngl

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? when someone asks me to do something, and then i say sure.. and then they repeat it like 2 mins later and im like.. fa m, now i dont wanna

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? sometimes ! a lot of the time i end up focusing on not stepping on cracks tho?? idk it’s a weird habit i started sometime last year that im trying not to do

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? nah

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? nah

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? sometimes yeah ! i tend to if im dancing with one of my siblings tho , like just grabbing their hands and making them dance with me

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yupyupyupyup :/

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? 0 x 0 = 0

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? a single? i dk it’s small and sucks ng l

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? u h h h h h h , probably are we there yet? - ingrid michaelson

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yupyup! ! !

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? yup ! voltron is actually currently one of my favorite shows , but i also watch su and several other cartoons ! i also watch anime when i feel like it but not as often as i used to

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? minions

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? idek ?? defos not anywhere in this town that’s fo sure

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? depends ! sometimes water, sometimes milk, sometimes juice. but generally i try to avoid drinking anything while eating and have a drink afterwards

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? i usually dont dip them in anything , but depending on my mood: mayo or ketchup

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? pizza !

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? u h h , titan ae , the fifth element, any barbie movies and more tbh

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? i cant remember? i probably kissed my brother on the forehead but idk

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? nope

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if cash is involved absolutely

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? i wrote a letter in my friends’ birthday cards.

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? nope : /

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? djhsd i dont even have my G2 yet and cant even drive so o o

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? nope

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? meat, pickles, and cheese

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? toast + chocolate milk

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? 11 or 12 (altho my sleeping schedule has been fucked for the past week)

37. ARE YOU LAZY? lmao yeah

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? i was once a goth fairy, a dead nerd and a lady bug ! those are the ones i remember off the top of my head fgjfdgd

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? tiger !

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? i can only speak english, but i have a vague understanding of french

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nope

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? wtf are lincoln logs update: i’ve never played with lincoln logs in my life so legos

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? very

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? ?? idk

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? when i was younger and my mom would ,yup

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? very !

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? yup ! often when me and 3 of my friends hand out we will drive around and listen to musicals + other music !

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? if im listening to music yuppers !

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? same as 47 ^

50. EVER USED A GUN? nope

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? last se

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? sometimes, but i still really enjoy them so !!

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? oh boi yeah, esp because of all the kids in my house + my mom’s family, and this year i’ll be dog sitting around that time so this year is gonna be f u n

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? not authentic ones, but yeah ! altho im allergic to potatoes so i dont eat them v much at all anymore

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? i dont like pie actually :/

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? i always wanted to be a teacher ! since like grade 3, but now i want to be a graphic designer , but tbh being a history teacher would be fun as well !

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? yeah i do

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? all the time

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? nah :/ i probs should lmao

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nope

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? nah

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? usually just my undies but when im living with other people il wear a soft shirt and my dc heroes pajama bottoms ayyy

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? justin bieber in grade 8 i think ??

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? walmart bc there’s no more targets in canada.. otherwise, target

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? niether

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? cheetos... idk what fritos are lmao

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? neither tbh

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? no

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? i wanted to but never did “/

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? idk ??

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? i dont think so ?

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? i think i was in one once?? but i dont remember it ?? did i win who knows

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? oh yeah boi

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nope, but my dad owns a lot !

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? my dad does !

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? nah, but my mom does !

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? i think so? ?

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? real friends, hanson, set it off and more tbh

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? same as 63

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot!!!!

81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee!!!!!!! !! ! ! ! ! !

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? sugar cookies !!

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? nah lmao im shit

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? yup

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? depends ! im p patient with kids, but have no patience when it comes to being late or waiting on someone.

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? band probs

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? i once won a 4ft cat in the hat from my local short stop when i was 4

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nah 89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? neither

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i learned how to crochet once?? but i forgot it so neither lmao

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? livingroom or bedroom

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? sort off? ?

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? no

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? uh h h m , currently crushing on someone actually lmao

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? no??

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? nope

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? yup ! !

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? pink !! ! ! ! ! !

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? sort off?? i miss my old best friend and i feel sort of disconnected rn with everyone

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? uhhh , idk who’s done this so i guess @geekmoodlet @maimouth @applezingsims @simprising @shook-sims if you’ve already done it then just ignore this ! ! ! 😝

#tag games #about me #nonsims #saviourhide

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guacnroll · 7 years

Text

that 100 question jawn

Yeah so @starsburnouttoo tagged me in this like a month or two ago and I typed it up and never posted it so here it is. My bad.

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

Closed. I always thought some kind of monster was in there as a kid. Now it’s out of habit.

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS?

Why? That’s just more shit to pack and potential spillage to clean up later.

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

Sheets tucked in. You know, like a normal person.

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE?

I haven’t, but I would and I will.

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES?

I just use the memo app on my phone.

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM?

I don’t use coupons unless I need them, so nah.

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES?

Swarm of bees, because they could probably be dealt with easier. Smoke or some shit. Worse comes to worse, there’s a better chance of survival with a swarm of bees.

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES?

I don’t think I’ve known any full Filipino with freckles.

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES?

Lmao barely.

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?

Getting interrupted while tal-

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK?

There’s an app for that, bruh. Count calories.

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS?

I went backpacking in the mountains for a week for a class, so yeah.

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS?

A week. At least we had toilet paper.

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING?

Why would I do that? I’m not even a good dancer in general.

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS?

I used to. Not anymore.

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK?

Do engineering textbooks count as people?

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED?

Twin because that’s what the apartment provided.

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK?

Suede – NxWorries

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK?

Why would it not be okay?

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS?

Listen man, there’s so much anime out there, and with that Steven Universe shit coming out, damn. Speaking of which when is Koe no Katachi and Kimi no Na wa getting subbed this needs to be a thing also back to Steven Universe what’s Cartoon Network doing like are they trying to lower rati-

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE?

If I don’t like a movie I’ll just stop watching it. The worst movie I remember having to watch all the way through is the second Percy Jackson movie, and I only watched it because my little sister wanted to watch it.

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME?

I’d probably take a long drive somewhere, and find a nice secluded area. Then I’d bury it there, and record the geo coordinates somewhere.

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER?

It depends on what I’m eating man. You gotta match the drink to the food, bruh.

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN?

Chick-fil-a sauce, Polynesian sauce, BBQ, ketchup, honey mustard.

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

Filipino food’s da bomb.com.

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE?

Any Studio Ghibli movie, probably. Or, you know, Shawshank Redemption. Maybe Clerks? Idk.

27. LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU?

Someone at a New Year’s Eve party.

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT?

Luh mao. Nah.

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE?

Yall are funny.

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER?

I dunno, like, sixth grade? Yall ever heard of e-mail? Game changer, man.

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR?

I drive. I better know.

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET?

Nah.

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS?

I try to make sure that doesn’t happen.

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH?

Either chicken parm or pulled pork.

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST?

I was talking to a few of other Filipino friends earlier. Bacon, eggs, and rice seems to be a staple in Filipino, or at least, Fil-Am culture. Idk if that’s just an Asian thing or a Filipino thing, tho.

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME?

Electrical Engineering major and late working hours dictate between 12-3 AM.

37. ARE YOU LAZY?

Despite all the work I piled onto myself, I still find time to take naps. So yeah.

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN?

Astronaut, Harry Potter, the usual.

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN?

Year of the ox.

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK?

My parents tried teaching me Tagalog as a kid but apparently my bitchass was like “Speak English I’m an ungrateful brat hahahah.” I know a few words but other than that, nah.

And English. But that’s a given.

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS?

Nah.

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS?

Better question: who would answer Lincoln Logs?

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN?

Only on something that really matters to me. So like “drop this class it’s getting in the way of your grades,” I’ll be like “nah.” Other than that prolly not.

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN?

I don’t watch a lot of late night talk shows, and those guys are like before my generation, bro.

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS?

My sister told me to watch this K-Drama called Goblin and that’s basically a soap.

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?

If there’s no railing then yeah.

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR?

Not unless I’m the only one in the car honestly.

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?

Lmao nah.

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR?

Only when I’m with close friends or alone.

50. EVER USED A GUN?

Yeah. It was pretty fun ngl.

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER?

Last year.

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY?

[has flashbacks of high school pit band]

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL?

The most stressful part of Christmas is my mom bringing us to Church for like 3 hours.

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI?

They’re pretty good.

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE?

Apple, probably.

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?

Musician, author, scientist, somebody famous with lots of hoes and money, idk.

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

My friend claims he talks to ghost and I’m inclined to believe him tbh.

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING?

Yeah, a bunch.

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY?

Nah.

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS?

Don’t touch my chinelas cuh

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE?

Nah.

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?

Sweatpants, t-shirt. The basics.

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT?

Kanye West, floor tickets, TLOP PSU 2016 heh heh

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART?

Target bruh

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS?

I have a pair of Adidas sweatpants so like Adidas I guess

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS?

Cheetos if I had to choose.

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS?

I hate peanuts.

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN?

Ohhh you tryna go there? You think just because you know one obscure band means you’re all that but I bet you don’t even listen to prog rock you hipster piec-

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS?

I should.

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING?

Nah. But the dream girl is probably Yuja Wang, so if you’re classically trained in any instrument then you’re probably an 8/10 in my book already.

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE?

Nah I got dem recessive genes bruh.

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE?

Like, once. In third grade. It wasn’t a huge thing.

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY?

The only time that would’ve happened in my life is when my sister was born.

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS?

I got a vinyl of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band b/c y not ya feel

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER?

I’ll probably buy one. Eventually.

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE?

The only thing I burn regularly is dat broccoli heh

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

Yeah, that’s like a thing most people do.

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT?

I’mma see Chance the Rapper soon, but other than that, Kendrick Lamar, J. Cole, Isaiah Rashad, and I’d like to hear Yuja Wang perform some Prokofiev or Rachmaninoff or something.

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW?

Kanye West lol

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA?

Hot tea preferably.

81. TEA OR COFFEE?

I like both, but given my life I’ve been drinking a lot of coffee to stay awake recently.

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES?

Idk.

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL?

I know how to swim, I guess.

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE?

Who can’t?..

85. ARE YOU PATIENT?

I wouldn’t be able to be an engineer if I wasn’t :^)

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING?

I’ll figure it out when I’m at that point.

87. EVER WON A CONTEST?

Does winning a music scholarship for my high school count.

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY?

Nah.

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES?

I’m not, like, an olive expert man.

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET?

Nah.

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE?

The living room I guess.

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?

Yeah sure.

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?

Nah.

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH?

There was some cute bassist in the pit band in my junior year. I prolly could’ve asked her out, but like she was a senior going to college so I didn’t really see a real reason at that point.

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY?

No because I try to be better than that.

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Nah.

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS?

Sure.

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

Idk, blue, maroon.

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW?

I’m at home rn so nah.

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS VIDEO NEXT?

Is this a video? This isn’t a video.

@katie-be-happy @bluebrry What’s up yooo

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kirkwallgirl-inactive · 7 years

Text

Finally got some of these Shoker / ME3 Control Ending feels onto paper, and to go with an old scribble (included), too! Whee! The joy of fairly open endings is that you can do a lot of things with them afterwards. xD Also wow it feels so very weird to write for a different fandom than what you’re used to...? what are voices? I have no idea.

Angst with an eventually happy ending, control ending, fluffy memories, *author has a crisis about keys*, mention of bad dentist experiences and hangover; alcohol mention. Also obviously discussion of death.

Notes feat. credits (one), my brand new Key Headcanon, and some discussion about the Citadel and the condition of the apartment at the end. :D

As usual, I’ve read this about a million times but still there are bound to be oopsies there. xD I’ll weed them out when I notice them haha!

UNDERTONES (part 1/2)

Joker had to stop at the door to Shepard’s – Anderson’s - apartment because the sucking black hole inside his chest swelled with every step he took and became so heavy that it was hard to breathe. He didn’t know if he’d be able to bear the empty apartment, but EDI seemed to think that it would be a good idea to visit the memories in the apartment even if it did hurt, and pick up any of Shepard’s personal belongings that were still there, as well as check whatever it was that she wanted to check on the terminal, Joker wasn’t sure. Maybe clean up a little if the place all a mess. In fact, she’d suggested it. “I believe it would be beneficial for healing,” she’d said.

“You know what? I think I forgot the key—“, Joker tried, turning on his heel, patting his pockets to hide how badly his hands were shaking. A single look from EDI told him she wasn’t buying it.

“You didn’t. You checked four times after leaving the Normandy,” EDI said, and her deadpan was flawless, as usual. “You put it in the bottle of painkillers in your pocket just to be sure.”

Joker sighed and let his shoulders slump.

“All right, you don’t have to rub it in,” he said, and turned back to the door, rubbing his arms. “Look, I just don’t know if I can do this.”

“Jeff, you said yourself that you might as well do this now if you ever wanted to come back because delaying would not make it any easier, and I quote: just ripping the band-aid off in one go is supposed to be better anyway. I can play the recording for you if you wish.”

“Oh, har har, very clever. But all right, you’re right... Thanks.” Joker sighed again, clenched his jaw, and then fished out the key. She was right. He did want to go back, and he would have already turned away without EDI there to gently kick him to it. He shook himself a couple times, and then took a deep breath and ripped the band-aid, half-expecting the lock mechanism to be broken; it would have been just his luck. But no - the key whirred inside the lock as the programming kicked in, and the bolts disengaged. Band-aid gone. One of them anyway.

Shepard would have said it’s better to pull the tooth out in one go instead of fucking pecking at it a for half an hour, he thought, and the thought made him first almost laugh and then almost cry. It came out as a shaky breath. He was pretty sure the words were based on personal experience, but Shepard -

(just shudders and sinks deeper into the tangle of blankets, pulls joker closer and stalls getting up a little longer – so much for throwing the warm blankets off quickly and facing the day and the aftermath of the party head-on)

- had never volunteered the full story.

Stepping into the apartment didn’t feel as much like a punch in the gut as he’d imagined over and over and over when he couldn’t sleep at night. Instead of ruin and devastation from his worst nightmares it surrounded him with an empty hush, and left him feeling shaken and out of place even though really the place was mostly just as he remembered it, just... eerier. His footsteps echoed too loudly in the silence.

The last time he’d walked through the living room there had been a fire crackling in the living room fireplace, beaty music playing, people and laughter everywhere, and Shepard had been there in the middle of it all, laughing and smiling –

(and revealing his teeth in a crooked smirk that makes joker’s heart skip beats. come on, you have to dance! the coffee table is not going anywhere so don’t try to pull that one on me again! come ooooon, I want you to dance with me. are you going to make me beg because I’ll do it--)

- in his stupid yellow top that was too short for him, stealing chips and grapes from other people’s plates. Now the whole apartment was just lifeless and empty; even the waterfall had been turned off. The signs of life were still there – there were the empty bottles from the party still in the kitchen, some shattered on the floor but some still standing and waiting by some miracle to be either trashed or recycled; a few forgotten hair ties thrown on the coffee table along with a scattered deck of cards that had been drunk doodled on and thus ruined; a towel thrown on the back of a chair to dry. If it hadn’t been for the antique shop quiet, it would have been so easy to imagine Shepard appearing from behind a corner-

(loose-limbed, face washed, hair a soft mess from sleep, a mug of tea in each hand. he is wearing the same teasing smirk from last night, only this time it’s because joker has a hangover even after saying he would stay away from the drinks, and not because he joker to get up so they can dance with edi and be silly in the middle of the living room. joker would sooner drink coffee but takes the offered cup anyway, and then scoots sideways when shepard kicks his ankle softly with bare toes and moves to squeeze himself into the corner of the couch – not the other corner where there is plenty of space, but his corner)

- and that nearly squeezed the air out of Joker; the image was so vivid and so sudden. He leaned heavily against the counter between the kitchen and the living room and curled around his aching chest, bowed his head in a way that might have made the cap hide his tears if they hadn’t tap-tap-tapped right onto the polished surface. He pressed the back of his hand against his mouth and tried not to sob.

“Man, if this is what the Drell feel like all the time, I do not envy them. This feels a lot like pulling a tooth very slowly,” he managed shakily after a couple of breaths and false starts, but EDI had wandered deeper into the apartment in search of whatever it was she had meant to pick up, and if she heard him, she made no reply.

“There is an incoming call on the line to the apartment,” she announced instead, and Joker made an annoyed sound, blinking more tears from his eyes. “Shall I connect it?”

“No,” Joker said grumpily and followed EDI’s voice into the study where she sat in front of the terminal, legs crossed. She had an odd expression on her face when she turned to look at him. “How the hell do you even answer a call to a dead person’s apartment? They don’t teach that anywhere. And who the hell even would call this place now, hasn’t the line been disconnected? A telemarketer selling one of those sock subscriptions? Do the lines even work anymore? The whole Citadel was pretty fucked after the war and they haven’t even managed to restore the more important bits completely yet.”

“I cannot verify the source of the call exactly, but it seems to be coming from somewhere within the Citadel. It seems… important.”

Joker stared at her, but when she offered no further explanation, he threw his hands into the air half-heartedly, shaking his head.

“Well that wasn’t cryptic and slightly ominous. What the heck, let’s do it. Go on, EDI.” And then, to the caller when the line connected: “Hello, this is Admiral Anderson’s apartment, Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau speaking.” He almost laughed. The greeting sounded absurd even in his own ears.

“JOKER”, boomed a voice through the voice system, and all the hair on Joker’s body stood up in an unpleasant start. He took a couple of slow steps backwards and more slumped than sat down into a convenient chair. His mouth had gone completely dry and his heart was hammering so hard it almost hurt.

The multi-layered harmonics of the voice were horrifyingly familiar – the deep, rumbling voice made the glassware in the kitchen ring and small items rattle and skitter across surfaces in the apartment. EDI only squinted curiously at the terminal, fired off a quick message, and then smiled when a replying message’s beep arrived immediately. Joker was too shocked and too wired up to pay attention.

“What the shit,” he hissed, dragging his hands over his face and covering his mouth. The Reapers just stopping after whatever Shepard had done and leaving had been too good to be true, hadn’t it? “Shit, shit, shit-“

“JOKER”, the voice repeated, but with less rumble this time. “PLEASE JUST for once bE COOL and shut up and LISTEN. I KNOw I’m nOT EXACTLY... me anymore, not the same as before, but... we need to talk.” It sounded almost like the voice was looking for a frequency, wavering between a Reaper’s rumble and something quieter, somethng more… human, in the lack of a better word, and underneath it all there was a constant undertone coming through clearer and clearer that sounded like-

(magpies, or some other bird like that, hoarse and raspy and always a little amused)

“Damir?” Joker breathed, turning his eyes to EDI. Now he could see her knowing smile.

“YES,” said the voice. “Yes.”

end of part 1.

note 1: this fic was largely inspired by a line in a chat from a while ago with @losebetter because it just was very perfect. I just tag you into everything these days sorry but you are somehow inspiring like half of this stuff nowadays or pulling me into new & exciting fandoms. xD Here it’s because I borrowed AI Shepard’s line from that chat. Not word for word, but still. ^u^ Close enough!

note 2: So I had a moment of jaw-dropping epiphany when i was writing this where I suddenly went ‘WAIT WAIT. ARE KEYS EVEN A THING ANYMORE.” I'm gonna make up a headcanon that because humans are sentimental about stuff they could have these kind of. novelty locks and manual that act a lot like normal keys would but in truth aren't very different from an omni-tool activated lock, so there IS programming in work when you actually use the key. Like especially on human colonies or old buildings on Earth, and maybe especially especially if you're rich and have a fancy schmancy place because it's custom work and installing a system like that to an antique door is like. super craftsmanship. They're more inconvenient because you have to actually have the key with you but it's uh. vintage. xD Maybe there's a way to override it with the omni-tool if you forget the key though because otherwise you'd be screwed if you really lost the key. that is my key headcanon now’

note 3: I actually have no idea how badly the Citadel is supposed to be damaged in the end if you take the Control ending...? It’s not supposed to fry the systems, but that much power may have still done a number on some of the non-reaper systems especially and fried some things. Maybe the whole debackle might have shaken places a bit, maybe some places are worse than others, maybe some places are completely and utterly FUBAR. Corpses we know there are everywhere and clean-up will take a while even with huge efforts put into it. :c I’m kind of. going for a best case scenario here and saying the apartment is mostly okay. xD

note 4. as I’ll probably repeat in part 2, EDI absolutely knew something was up from the moment they docked on the Citadel and connected with what systems worked there again. xD

#fic by kirkwallgirl #if you would believe it #i feel like I'd need to put a lot more thought into everything if I wanted to build up on any bigger post-game headcanons but #this is a thing #take it as a fragment that would need more thinking than I have time or patience to give it!#me3 #mass effect #jeff 'joker' moreau #EDI #space damir #Damir Anangar (trevelyan)#shoker #shepard x joker #*raspberry noises*#non-da

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ryanonwrasslin-blog · 7 years

Text

Fast Lane 2017

SaSo, at some point over the weekend I saw a conversation taking place online about the coverage of wrestling and how so much of it is just shitting all over WWE’s product, especially the flagships itself like Monday Night Raw and the Big 4 PPV’s. And it struck me in that moment how miserable of a fan I’d become of something that I’d originally gotten into because it was fun in all of the best, most ridiculous ways.

So I’m here today because I want to hold myself to account on not being such a miserable fucking wrestling fan all the time, and my method for doing that is to write about wrestling. I’ve tried this before but it was mostly aimless ramblings. I’m hoping that this viewpoint to add a certain amount of structure to my wrasslin’ thoughts.

Long-term, I’m hoping for this to be a weekly thing (maybe every Thursday after all the week’s big shows have been aired), but as I’m excited about this, I thought I’d dive right in fresh after Fast Lane last night. Surely the PPV right smack in the middle of THE ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA will be an easy win for someone trying to be optimistic about wrestling, right?

Right?

Oh God.

/Huffs Paint

Alright, let’s do this...

Theme of the Night:

Who is this show for, exactly?

I know, my supposed optimism lasted to the first sentence. But I swear, I’m going to go through this in a way that isn’t just shitting on the product. All I could think after that main event was, who exactly is this particular show for?

I know Wrestlemania is for the largest crowd possible, and there were obvious steps taken tonight to work toward that, but if you take this show in isolation, and I do think when you are a company dependent on monthly subscriptions you have to view it that way to a certain degree, I’m left feeling very confused about that show.

Was anyone happy to see Sasha basically cheat Bayley to a win? Were the months of booking BRAAAAAAAAAAUN as an all-time monster worth it for an L to Strong Roman at Fast Lane of all places? Did it help anyone for Kevin Owens to look like an idiot and lose in two moves to Goldberg? Did it help Goldberg to win like that? Did any of that bizarre Cesaro/ Jinder/ Handsome Rusev/ Big Show business help even one of them? Sasha rolling up Nia when a strong breeze ought to be able to knock Sasha off balance? New Day Ice Cream? I really struggled to understand the logic behind any of this booking.

Alright, I don’t want to do too much of this negativity, and this show wasn’t all terrible, so let’s get to the next segment I want to run.

Top 10 Moments of the Night:

10. Big E is a weird dude in all the best ways

9. Seriously, we’ve got to be close to a Handsome Rusev Face Turn, right? - He tried to help poor Jinder revive his career, most of his feuds have revolved around defending his wife’s honor, and then last night Jinder gets in his face and shows no respect for the only guy to give him a chance since he was in 3MB, then plays valiant babyface-in-peril against Big Show, who then hits like 11 finishing moves on Rusev for no apparent reason. Oh, and he’s the fucking man in the ring. Handsome Rusev face turn, please and thank you.

8. SmoJo’s Coquina Clutch - Man I love that old-school move.

7. No more “Queen of PPV” nonsense - I really thought they’d keep that going, but thank God they didn’t. It was such a stupid catchphrase.

6. Sasha getting to look like an actual wrestler again - I’ve gone round and round and round in my personal rankings of the 4 Horsewomen (At present it goes Charlotte, Becky, Sasha, Bayley), and the way they’ve booked Sasha as a fragile baby-person has started to bleed into my perception of her. Nia still whooped her ass pretty good but she pulled off a crafty win and didn’t need to be like life-flighted out afterwards. That was a good step for her. And her next big step should be hitting a Backstabber on Bayley the night after Wrestlemania and giving us that sweet, sweet heel turn.

5. BRAAAAAAAAAAAUN vs. Strong Roman (until the finish) - This was an even better effort by Strowman than that really fun Big Show match a few weeks ago. It was the best match of his career. And honestly, I feel a tiny bit bad for Roman at this point. They just keeping making the strangest booking calls with this dude and all the while he’s keeps showing the ability to have an excellent match with just about anyone on the roster.

4. Charlotte’s in-ring taunts - Charlotte is downright loathsome in the ring. It’s infuriating and annoying and frustrating and it’s The Best. She has honed herself to a fine point as a heel in the ring.

3. A taste of SmoJo vs. Sami Zayn - I’d hoped they’d give these two like 15 electric minutes, but was also expecting them to ultimately make Joe into the Destroyer. They definitely chose the latter, but these two both play their roles so well, Joe as the asshole who just wants to beat the shit out of you and Zayn as the underdog who just needs an opening, that it was still a good match, and some day we’ll see those go 20+ minutes for big-time stakes and it will kick all kinds of ass.

2. Kevin Owens’ stall tactics - I’m a sucker for wrestlers incorporating strategy and tactics into their wrestling. It makes it feel so much more real and can help explain the changes in Win/Loss record over the years. This was a great example of those tactics.

1. Neville vs. Jack Gallagher - Unquestionably the match of the night. I went into this match badly craving a Neville squash, but WWE did right by goofy-ass Jack Gallagher and gave these two 12 minutes of fun wrestling. More of this in the Cruiserweights and less of Brian Kendrick doing the Captain’s Hook for 3 minutes at a time, please.

Let the Smark Out

Look, no one’s perfect and a 5:1 ratio of Optimism to Pessimism seems acceptable to me. And it’s just not healthy to keep my issues inside. That shit needs to get out and breathe a bit, you know? It took a lot of thought to figure out my two, though. However, WWE made it clear pretty early on when Steph was screeching at Foley that only two matches actually mattered, so let’s go with those two.

-Bayley cheats her way to a win - Ahh yes, the old trope of the biggest, most natural babyface character being helped by her tweener friend and former rival to victory over the heel who voluntarily fought without her lieutenant at ringside. I see no issues with this logic at all. Sometimes you’re booked into a corner, but this was just blatant malpractice against everything they built for Bayley’s character for years. Just baffling all around.

-You know what the other is. KO stalls and stalls to wear out Goldberg’s peaking intensity, a very smart tactic that shows he’s put tremendous thought into this match and that he’s a student of wrestling. But then the most obvious development ever occurs with a returning Y2J’s music hitting and KO getting distracted, Goldberg hitting his two moves and pinning him in under a minute. I knew it was coming, I suppose, but it was still a kick right in the balls. Sigh...

Where Do We Go From Here?

For my penultimate segment, I want to talk about what is often my favorite part of wrestling: Where things are going next. I’ll do my best to mostly steer away from fantasy booking things to hell, but that will be part of it.

I’m excited about not having anymore PPV’s leading to Mania. No more farting around and holding back, they’ve got to start building to the biggest matches and one of the things I’m most interested in seeing develop is whatever is going on with Triple H. There still seems to be legitimate uncertainty about Seth Rollins, and a couple weeks ago it seemed like maybe Trips was behind KO turning on Jericho, and I couldn’t help but wonder if they were setting up some kind of action with Trips, KO, and SmoJo. Add to all of this that it would make sense for a returning Finn Balor to oppose such a faction, and some of these questions need to start getting answered.

In other news, we seem almost certain to be heading toward a Fatal Four Way for the women’s title, probably a pre-show multi-team Tag Title match, and we should be getting some fun Jericho-KO segments.

That leaves me uncertain how they’ll build to Roman vs. Taker, what they’re going to do with Strowman, if Shaq will show up for the Big Show match, and if this weird Mick Foley vs. Steph feud will lead to Foley being fired and how soon they might pull that particular trigger and if it will have ripple effects elsewhere.

Parting Thought

It’s obvious now that Goldberg can’t actually wrestle a match. If he could, they would have given him and KO at least a couple minutes before Y2J came out, right? To me, that means there’s no way they can actually put that match on last. No one is going to be hyped for a Lesnar/ Goldberg match that likely can’t go past 5 minutes and has a decent chance of being a mess.

#wrestlemania #WWE #Wrestling #FastLane

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