#next my brother passed away and like he was my best friend and we literally talked about everything but like now ya know .

[sugrhigh]

HOTBOX 2 - ( m.s )

REQUESTED**

part one

summary- matt smoked with his best friends for the first time, and after you guys get home his dirty thoughts about you finally come to life

warnings- SMUT !! so don’t read if ur uncomfy, swearing, unprotected sex, slightly subby!matt

bff!matt x fem!reader

a/n: HEHE i had fun writing this so i hope you guys truly enjoy. i will be working on boy next door and a beautiful fall req i just received, but until those are posted my inbox is open for any comments, reqs, or sweet nothings xoxo

dedicated to the lovely @awsturn thank you for requesting!!!

@fawnchives @mattswrld @l1ttlefreakk @teapartyprincess4two @l9vesick

“oh wow, matt.” nick can’t stifle his laughter as his brother walks through the front door with the rest of you.

he’s got his arm around your shoulder, leaning some of his weight on you as you move in unison. he promised he could walk fine on his own, but you insisted on being there just in case.

not that he minds the physical contact.

“what?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as his eyes finally focus.

“nothing you just look…very faded.”

“that’s because he is.” you reply for him.

“hey, so are you guys!” matt argues, and you nod your head absentmindedly as the two of you head past nick to the living room.

“yes, we are. do you want to sit?”

“are you going to?”

you laugh and untangle yourself from his arms once you’re beside the couch. “you don’t have to do everything i do, you know.”

his legs are far less shaky than they were before, but he plops down on the plush cushions regardless. the rest of the group is still chattering in the foyer, and he appreciates the few seconds of alone time he gets with you.

“just wanted to make sure you weren’t leaving.” matt shrugs lazily in response.

“i’m literally spending the night dork.” you remind him, turning to head into the kitchen.

you’re unknowingly giving him the perfect view of your ass as you walk, covered only by those thin little yoga pants, hips swaying back and forth like you’re taunting him on purpose.

he has to force himself to look away, to try and put an end to all of the filthy thoughts churning in his mind. he shouldn’t be thinking them, especially not about one of his best friends.

but matt is too fried to pretend he doesn’t have feelings for you. he always has. it’s just harder to hide how much he wants you when he can barely remember how to breathe.

it’s pretty late, so chris and nathan announce that they’re going to his room to play video games. the pair are already bounding down the hall as you return to the living room, equipped with a bottle of water in one hand.

“where the hell are they off to?” you ask with a grin, passing him the drink.

“going to play fortnite or something.” matt replies, taking the water into his own trembling hands.

he tries to ignore the way his fingers pass over yours, tries not to wonder if you feel the same spark that he does just from a simple touch. luckily, nick enters seconds later which relieves some of the tension.

he watches his brother wrap you in a quick hug. “i have to finish editing, but i’ll see you in the morning.”

“you better be up in time for mcdonald’s breakfast.” you point an accusatory finger at him as he heads to his room laughing.

“yeah, yeah, wake me whenever. goodnight matt, drink that water.”

he hears the door click closed a second later, his eyes trained on you as you move to sit down beside him. your thigh is inches from his, but you’re still too far away for his liking.

“are you sleepy?” you ask him as you settle down against the cushions, finally meeting his gaze once you’re comfortable.

“not really.” he finds himself smiling at you, for no real reason besides the fact that he loves you.

you tilt your head to the side, studying him with a look in your eyes that indicates you’re amused. “okay, how are you then? enjoying it?”

his eyes are low and red, watching your lips as they move. he can’t stop thinking about your fingers gently gripping his thigh earlier, the confident tone in which you speak to him, how you handle yourself.

all of that mixed with the weed is making him incredibly turned on. he shifts a little, dropping the water bottle on the couch so he can use his hands to cover his lap.

“yeah, i’m enjoying it.” matt says quietly, unable to look anywhere besides you.

you furrow your brows a little bit, but your grin doesn’t fade, which makes him feel better.

“alright, what’s going on? i know you’re high and everything, but you’re acting a little too weird.” you accuse him, though your demeanor is light-hearted as you nudge your shoulder against his.

he shakes his head just slightly as if he has no idea what you’re talking about. “what do you mean? i’m totally normal.”

matt finds that his voice is just a little too squeaky and quick to be convincing, and he knows he’s not a very good liar, especially when it comes to you.

“come on, i know that’s not true. you can tell me anything.” you push, moving a little bit so that you can properly face him.

the light coming from the kitchen silhouettes your features beautifully, and he can feel the words crawling up his throat. it’s involuntary, but the truth is coming out either way.

“i already told you earlier.”

“what?”

“i just…want you.” he finally admits breathlessly.

this catches you completely off guard, considering you had pushed your previous conversation in the car to the back of your mind. you figured he was just tripping, only saying flirty things because he was so out of it.

your lips part like you’re going to speak, but nothing happens. matt studies your face for any kind of emotion other than shock, but he can’t read you, which makes him anxious.

“i’m sorry, fuck, i don’t know why i’m saying this shit right now, of all times, but you look so pretty and i just…i needed you to know because—” he stumbles over his words, which morph together in the wrong places.

“matt, matt, it’s okay.”

you put a hand on his thigh again, trying to let him know that everything is fine, and he literally twitches from the pressure of your palm being so close to where he needs you.

“don’t do that.” he hisses, unable to control the way he slightly bucks against your fingers.

but you don’t move, because you feel yourself throb at the sight of him growing hard in his sweatpants. all because you touched him.

“matt…” you tilt your head, trying to get him to look at you.

he exhales a long breath before he finally does, his faded eyes wider now, cheeks flushed and brown hair messy from the wind of the car ride home. he looks beautiful, your beautiful best friend.

but matt is way more. you need him to be more.

“are you sure you want this?” you say faintly, leaning in just enough for him to notice.

“do you want this?”

you nod your head slowly, staring at his pink lips, unable to stop wondering if they’re as soft as they look. so you meet him the rest of the way, your mouth meshing against his gently.

matt almost melts at the feeling, and butterflies erupt through his chest. he can’t believe this is happening. part of him wonders if he fell asleep, and is dreaming it all up.

it’s thrilling, how desperate you both are for more, how his tongue slips against yours so nicely, and he has to contain himself when you bite down on his bottom lip every so often.

you pull away and swing your leg over his lap so you can straddle him. he groans quietly underneath you, because your hips feel so nice on his that he already wants to combust on the spot.

and then you lean down to his ear, moving slowly against his hard dick, so close he can feel your breath tickle his skin.

“i’m gonna take care of that, baby,” you whisper, “but you have to be quiet. can you do that?”

matt nods eagerly and you kiss his neck in response, tugging at the skin lightly. his hands travel to your ass, gripping it tightly to force some more friction.

he feels you grin against his throat, and he has to hold back a moan from the combined sensation of your tongue and hips going to work.

you move up to his jaw, across his cheek, back to his mouth, and this time he smiles against your lips. kissing you is just so sweet, even when it’s sinful, and he’s so high and happy it's impossible not to.

you pepper him with a few more quick pecks before crawling off of his lap, crouching down between his knees. he’s already needy, missing having you on top of him even though you look gorgeous at his feet.

matt reaches out to smooth your hair, holding your head in his hand as his thumb brushes your cheek.

“are you real?” it leaves his mouth before he can think.

you let out a breathy laugh, turning your head to kiss the heel of his palm softly. “i’m real, i promise.”

the intimacy of the moment, just that small gesture, is making his heart slam against his ribcage.

you reach up to hook your fingers underneath the waist of his sweats, tugging them down to indicate he should lift himself. matt does just that, pressing his back against the couch so you can slide the soft material down to his ankles.

your run your hands up his thighs before you go to the band of his boxers, pulling so that his dick springs free. he’s already wet and straining, precum soaking his tip, and he’s a little embarrassed by the way you’re looking at it.

but you’re only staring because it’s bigger than you expected, possibly the biggest you’ve seen in person. you’re entranced as your fingers glide over his tip, spreading his wetness across the rest of the base.

“shit…” matt mutters under his breath, throwing his head back against the couch as he fucks himself into your hand slightly.

you love hearing him all breathless, watching his muscles clench in pleasure as you stroke him. but you can tell he’s already worked up enough, so you start to slow your movements to a stop before pushing yourself to stand.

his head snaps back up, surprised by the switch in pace, and then his eyes get wider. you slip your leggings off, reaching for the hem of your shirt after so you can tug it over your head and discard it with your pants.

he loves seeing you exposed like this, every curve, every gorgeous little detail that makes your body your body.

“my pretty girl.” he praises, completely pussy whipped already, and it makes you a little bit shy as you stand before him.

you just like matt so much, and hearing him compliment you in such a personal setting only confirms how much you need him.

“want you inside me.” you murmur, straddling his waist again, sliding your wet panties against his shaft lightly as you get situated.

“please, oh my god—” he’s choking on his own words as you push your panties to the side, lining him up with your entrance.

you sink down on him without warning, feeling that delicious and familiar pressure in your stomach as he fills you up. matt’s hands find their way to your ass again, in a state of complete euphoria from having you wrapped around him.

you both groan, and you lean in so you can attach your mouth to his, swallowing the sounds of your shared pleasure. he helps guide you up and down, slowly at first, admiring the way you squeeze his dick every time he’s fully inside.

“fuck, you feel so good matt.” you whine against his lips as quietly as possible, picking up the pace and moving your hips at a quicker speed, hands on the frame of the sofa to help you bounce.

“promise you feel better.” he manages to respond before having to bite down on his bottom lip hard to contain a moan.

you’re riding him so well, skin slapping skin together ever so slightly. matt uses one hand to tug your bra down so he can slide his tongue over one of your nipples. you arch into his wet mouth, enjoying the way he softly sucks on each of them, swapping every so often.

he loves having your tits in his face so much, and he knows he won’t be able to hang on much longer with the way you’re moving.

“m’close, oh fuck—” his eyes roll back as you rock against him as fast as possible, rotating your hips so he hits a different spot every time.

“that’s it baby, keep fucking me, let it all go.” you command, relishing in the wave that’s taking over you as well.

matt slams you down on him a couple more times before he feels his fingers lose their grip, shuddering as he finishes inside you, breathless and sweaty.

your own muscles tense and you dive into it, releasing all over his cock as you slow your pace due to the overstimulation. you’re also panting as you slide off of him, rolling over his leg so you can sit beside him for a minute.

“that was…wow.” matt sighs happily as the both of you readjust your underwear.

“agreed.” you turn your head to smile at him, leaning in for one more little kiss.

it’s short, but it’s still just as passionate as the ones that came before. you could do it all day, his lips are just that soft.

“we should probably get cleaned up. do you wanna spend the night in my room?” his voice is still hushed once you pull away, and there’s a certain weight behind his words.

“i kinda want to sleep in your room every night.” you reply honestly, and his face lights up again at the confession, because he feels the exact same.

“i think i would kinda like that a lot.”

[corroded-hellfire]

Like it’s 1999 - Eddie Munson x Reader

An As You Wish Story

Collaboration with the peanut butter to my jelly @munson-blurbs ✨

Summary: Your first New Year’s Eve as Eddie’s girl comes with meeting all his old friends at the Harrington’s party. It turns out to be great fun, but losing track of time leads you to miss out on something you’ve been looking forward to.

Note: Wishing a Happy New Year to all of you lovelies!

Warnings: older!eddie, alcohol consumption, drunkenness, talk about shitty parents (gee, I wonder who)

Words: 4.3k

[As You Wish masterlist]

Walking up to the Harrington house shouldn’t be as daunting as it feels right now. You work here three days a week, bringing Ryan and Luke over to babysit the Munson and Harrington clans together. But you’re not coming here to work today; you’re coming for the New Year’s Eve party Steve and Nancy are throwing. 

The house is now filled with friends and family of the Harrington’s, most of whom you haven’t met. And of the ones you have met, it’s only been a handful of times or in passing since you started babysitting for the Munsons. You’ve been lucky enough to become acquainted with Steve and Nancy over the past months and feel honored enough to call them not just your boyfriend’s friends, but your friends now as well. Max and Lucas will be here and the handful of times you’ve met them have been nice. You’ve had entertaining conversations with Max and even got to spend time with their daughter Tiffany a few times. 

Dustin is another of Eddie’s friends who you’ve seen here and there, but never for long periods of time since he lives too far away to visit regularly. He’s bringing his new girlfriend, Jennifer, tonight, who Eddie has said is great, but this is the first time you’ll be meeting her. And she is just the first one on the list of people you’ll be meeting tonight for the first time. 

Nancy’s little brother Mike and his wife El will be here tonight and you’re just hoping that Mike is as easy to talk to as his sister is. A high school friend named Will is bringing his boyfriend named Cody, but you at least are in the same boat with Eddie on this one because he hasn’t met Cody yet either. And then there’s Robin and Vickie, who you’ve been told have been together since high school. Luckily, Eddie has assured you that Robin can do enough talking for the both of you, so not to worry about any awkward conversations—well, ones with awkward silences, anyway. 

Your slightly uncomfortable, yet enviably cute shoes click as you come to a stop in front of the Harrington’s door. Eddie’s hand squeezes yours and the feeling of his larger hand holding yours so safely has some of your anxiety abating. Eddie had known the moment you two had received the invitation that you would be nervous about this. He left the choice up to you if you wanted to attend or not. Being with Eddie meant getting to know those who are important to him, though. A little discomfort is nothing when you think about it like that.

“We can go, sweetheart,” Eddie tells you now that you’re at the literal threshold of the party. “We don’t have to do this.”

You don’t have to do this is what you know he means. 

With as much fake courage as you can muster, you shake your head and give Eddie the best smile you can manage. “I want to.”

And you do. It’s certainly better than the party your friends from school invited you to tonight. Being in a crowded and smoky bar where you can barely hear yourself think is not your idea of fun. It’s really just an excuse to find someone to kiss at midnight, then take home for some fun for the next few hours until someone gets kicked out and is forced to do the walk of shame. Not something you’d ever been interested in, really. Besides, why be there when you can be with Eddie? 

Your boyfriend knocks on the door and a few moments later a grinning Steve opens it, sporting a pair of novelty “2000” eyeglasses, his hazel brown eyes peering out from the second and third zeroes. There’s music coming from the living room, and you can smell the different hors d'oeuvres that must be set out around the party area. Conversations and laughter float down to the door as well and the prospect of joining in on that makes your tummy do a little flip. 

“Hey, Munson! Lady Munson! Come on in.” Steve’s clearly already gotten into the alcohol. 

Eddie ushers you into the house before him and helps you out of your jacket. Steve takes both of your coats and hangs them in the closet near the front door. The host leads you further into the house and to the room where adults are milling about, glasses of different colored liquor in most hands, and smiles on almost every face. Stepping into this room without any of the children feels odd. This is where you usually wait with the younger ones while the big kids finish up their homework. Part of you wishes the kids were there because they’re always good to use as a bit of a buffer if you need one in social situations. 

Tonight, all Munson and Harrington children are having sleepovers at a grandparent’s house. The Harrington girls are staying with Nancy’s parents, while the boys are with Steve’s. Ryan and Luke are spending the night at Wayne’s, as it’s one of his few precious nights off. 

“You don’t mind that your New Year’s Eve plans are watching the boys?” Eddie had asked.

“Plans? Only plan I have is to take advantage of the night off and get as much sleep as I can.”

“Eddie and the lovely lady that is far too good for him have arrived,” Steve announces to the room. Your cheeks heat up at Steve’s words, but Eddie just rolls his eyes and pushes his friend out of his way. 

It feels like every eye in the room lands on you and it’s making your nerves creep back up. Not everyone is looking at you, you try to assure yourself, but the jitters have settled in and have you feeling self-conscious. What if they don’t like me? you think. These people are practically Eddie’s family. I need them to like me. They’re going to think I’m not good enough. That I’m too young. Too stupid. That I’m just some young girl Eddie decided to have a fun fling with after getting divorced—

Max comes over to your side and it shakes you out of your spiraling thoughts. 

“Hey!” The redhead greets. “It’s so nice to see you again.” She pulls you in for a hug that has your anxious thoughts starting to abate. 

“You too!” you say. “How’s Tiffany?” Can't seem to stop talking about the kids, can you?

“She’s great. Talking and walking now, so a complete handful. Oh!” Max catches the attention of a woman about her height with chin length brown hair who stops and smiles at you. “Have you met El?”

“Nice to meet you.” El timidly but kindly extends her hand and you shake it, beginning an evening of greeting new and familiar faces. 

By the end of your first lap of talking with everyone, you’re pretty sure you remember everyone’s name, but not necessarily how they all relate to one another—-except Mike. The way he and Nancy bicker at one another occasionally keeps it fresh in your mind that he’s her little brother. Not to mention, the drunker Steve gets, the more he begs Mike to call him ‘big bro.’

“You know,” Robin says, nudging Eddie’s arm with her own, “I don’t think we’ve all been together for New Year’s Eve since ‘92.”

Eddie thinks for a moment, rubbing a hand over his mouth and chin. “God,” he says with a laugh. “That was before Luke.”

“And Corroded Coffin performed!” Dustin adds, flashing a smile that seems to be missing a few teeth. 

“You ever see your boyfriend being a rockstar?” Lucas asks, raising his eyebrows at you.

That certainly piques your interest. “I have not.” You turn to Eddie with a giddy smile on your face. 

Sheepishness pinkens Eddie’s cheeks. “I wasn’t a rockstar,” he mumbles, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Max almost chokes on her vodka cranberry and lets out a scoff. “Since when are you modest?” she asks with a cocked brow.  

Eddie narrows his eyes at Max and opens his mouth to speak, but you interrupt first. “Eddie, shhh, I wanna hear about my rockstar boyfriend!” you tease. “Did you have lots of groupies?”

He groans but drapes his arm over your shoulders as his friends begin to tell you about the band.  

“I don’t even like metal, but they were good,” Robin pipes up from where she’s pouring herself another drink.

“They were weekly regulars at this bar,” Dustin explains. “They would sneak us in because we were too young to get into the bar.”

“Actually,” Max says, turning to Eddie, “so were you.”

Eddie shrugs. “I never questioned it.”

“Anyway,” Dustin continues, practically shaking with excitement, “they could play any metal song you could think of. He learned Master of Puppets in a week, and that song is like twelve minutes long.”

“It’s only eight,” Eddie protests, but his friend ignores him completely. 

“Whatever. The point is, Corroded Coffin was probably the best band this town has ever seen, and it’s all because of Eddie.” He nudges him with an elbow to the ribs. “Hey, do the move!”

Eddie coughs, face fully red. “Henderson, I don’t know what you’re—”

“Yes, you do, because you’re totally blushing right now.” Dustin cackles, turning to you. “It was like this hip thrust thing, but to his guitar—”

“Okay, enough!” Eddie’s face is beet-red, burying his head in his hands. Dustin starts in again, but a glass drops in the kitchen, drawing everyone’s attention. 

“Eddie Munson,” you murmur in his ear, taking advantage of this moment alone, “did you go on stage and hump your poor guitar?” Before he can respond, you tug him by his belt loop. “Can I get a private show later?”

He smirks. “Only for you, baby girl.” 

As it typically goes at parties, people mingle around, always popping in and out of different conversations throughout the evening. You and Max sit on a loveseat off to the side of the room, watching Steve, Eddie, Lucas, and Will take shots. The pair of you shake your heads as you observe the men, watching in amusement as Will tries to pour more shots for everyone, no matter how much they decline. 

Max isn’t quite drunk but is definitely past tipsy.

“How are you feeling hanging around with this ragtag bunch of weirdos?” she asks once the entertainment of watching the men has worn off. 

You chuckle and shake your head. “It’s not as scary as I thought it would be, honestly. And I definitely wouldn’t call you guys weirdos.”

Max pauses, biting her cheek. “It’s really nice to see Eddie with someone who actually appreciates him. Who genuinely loves him, y’know.” She lowers her voice. “I’m not trying to turn this into a bitching session about his ex, but—”

“I am!” More than a few drinks in, Nancy slings one arm over your shoulder and the other around Max’s. The scent of vodka wafts from her mouth. “God, she was the worst! I don’t even know what he saw in her.” She wrinkles her nose. “She wasn’t even that pretty. Like, yeah, maybe a little bit, but not enough to make up for being a total hag!” She cackles like it’s the funniest joke in the world. 

Your mind flashes back to how beautiful Brittany actually is, but Nancy’s true drunk feelings warm your heart.

“Yeah, she’s definitely a piece of work,” you say with a humorless chuckle.

“Oh honey,” Max says, “we all know that’s the understatement of the century. She’s a grade A bitch and any time you want to shit talk her, you’ve got a house full of people here ready to chime in.”

“Really?” you ask, raising your eyebrows. “Everyone here hates her?”

“Well, I’m not sure if Cody or Jennifer ever met her, but everyone else, yeah,” Max says with a shrug.

A warmth blooms in your chest. Even though you know Brittany is horrific, and Eddie knows it as well, it’s different to hear it from an outside source. His friends could see the relationship from another perspective, and it seems they came to the same conclusion: Brittany is a spawn of satan. It’s validating and it also makes everyone’s kindness tonight mean that much more to you. 

“One time,” Nancy slurs as she perches herself on the arm of the loveseat, “the four of them were gonna drive to Lake Michigan for a long weekend. Luke was only like…I dunno, maybe 18 months? Anyways, poor little thing had a cough, so Brittany took him to the doctor. She comes home and tells Eddie that Luke’s got the sniffles and they’re all good to go. Turns out, Luke had goddamn pneumonia, but she didn’t want it to ruin her getaway.”

The outrage that is coursing through your veins has you gripping your glass so tightly that you start to lose feeling in your hand.

“How have none of you killed her?” you ask, making sure to keep your voice even when you really want to scream.

“Cause that moron,” Max says, nodding across the room at Eddie, “hadn’t come to his senses yet. Or at least, hadn’t let us know that he had.”

“Thank God he found you,” Nancy says. “For him and the boys.”

“I thank God I found them,” you say, the alcohol you’ve had making you a little more sentimental than usual. Though it’s something you always feel, it’s not something you’d always say out loud to people that aren’t Eddie. 

Across the house, the guys are having their own little meeting. Steve leans against the counter in an attempt to look mysterious and suave, but his swaying gait gives away his inebriated state. 

“Munson, could you stop staring at your girlfriend for two seconds and help me with this tray?” he asks, fumbling with a platter of cheese cubes and crackers. 

“Huh? What?” Eddie stutters, Steve’s words registering after a beat. Heat creeps up the back of his neck: caught red-handed. 

Will slings his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, pulling him close enough that Eddie can smell the alcohol on his breath. “Aww, you found your Cody!” Will coos. 

Eddie’s nose scrunches in confusion. “I’m not following, Byers.”

Will rolls his eyes as though this is obvious information that Eddie should already know. “You found someone who makes you feel happy and warm and loved. Someone you wanna marry someday.” He waggles his eyebrows. 

“Yeah, okay.” Eddie tries to play it cool; inside, butterflies flutter in his stomach. Marrying you? Sounds like a dream, one that he’s not sure will ever come to fruition. 

Will is undeterred by Eddie’s sudden shyness, doubling down on his statement. “Hey, listen,” he drunkenly slurs, “I don’t need to be into women to know that she,” he points to you, “is a total upgrade from, well,” he lowers his voice, “y’know.”

Dustin swoops in, sensing that the conversation might nosedive from playful banter to pure discomfort. “Okay, let’s get you some water.” He leads Will away, shushing him as they walk. 

Eddie takes a swig of beer, grateful that the interrogation is over, but then Steve gently adds, “Not to focus on the ex or anything, but you really do seem…I dunno, more like yourself lately. In a way that you didn’t with Brittany.”

“Is that a good thing?” He’d like to think so, but his insecurities often cloud his judgment like a dense fog. 

Steve laughs. “Despite my better judgment, yeah. It is.” He claps him on the back. “She’s a keeper, dude. Don’t fuck it up.”

Eddie chuckles and gives a sheepish shrug of his shoulders. “I’ll try not to.”

Both men look up as they hear footsteps approaching them. Eddie’s brow furrows in concern when he sees tears in your eyes as you walk up to him. He reaches out a hand and you place your smaller one in his.

“What’s got you all upset, Sweetheart?”

You’re too tipsy to properly articulate your emotions after talking with Max and Nancy about how lucky the two of you are to have found each other, so you just murmur, “you.”

Steve laughs and scratches the back of his head. “Guess I spoke too soon.”

You let your hand fall from Eddie’s so you can snake your arms around his middle. Letting your eyes fall closed, you rest your head against your boyfriend’s chest.

“I love you so much,” you mumble.

“I love you too, princess,” Eddie says against your hair before pressing a few kisses there.

Steve can’t help but smile at the interaction between the two of you. It’s so nice to see his best friend in a relationship where he’s appreciated and loved for who he is. The way you both look at one another leaves Steve with no doubt about how happy you make each other. Wanting to give the two of you your privacy, Steve quietly slips away. 

Joy buzzes in your stomach, only amplified by the alcohol in your system. You lift your head from Eddie’s chest and lean up to press your lips against his. The kiss is soft and sweet, with no urgency. When the two of you finally part, your boyfriend chuckles and licks over his lips.

“Had vodka, huh?” he asks.

“Do I taste like it?” You giggle. “You taste like beer. And a little like rum.”

“That’s ‘cause I had a shot of rum and have been nursing my beer for an hour,” he says, fingers tracing patterns over the soft fabric of your sweater covering your back. 

“‘N you’re not drunk,” you state.

“I’ve got a pretty high tolerance, baby. Plus, need to be able to drive us home later. Got some precious cargo right here,” he says as he pulls your body up against his. “Are you having fun?”

“Yeah,” you tell him, grinning as you think about the good time you’re having with Eddie’s old friends. “I like your friends. Will’s funny.”

“Will is plastered,” Eddie says with a chuckle. 

Before you get a chance to respond, Robin is tugging on your arm and whining about how you can kiss Eddie anytime. Eddie reluctantly lets you go, playfully rolling his eyes as you’re pulled away. It makes you giggle before taking control of your own feet again and following Robin toward an empty spot on a couch.

Robin asks you about school, how you like it, what classes you’re taking next semester, and what you’re studying. At first, it seems like these are generic questions that someone asks of a college student, which confuses you because you’d thought you and Robin would be past that stage by now. But as she keeps talking, Robin reveals that she’s been thinking about going back to school and wants to know more about what it's like. Once you know that, you’re able to give her more detailed information about what it's like on campus rather than give the stilted, robotic answers you tend to give when asked the basic questions. 

Vickie slips into your conversation at some point, followed by Mike, Dustin, and Jennifer. Your drink keeps getting refilled to where you’re not sure how much you’ve had to drink by the time the conversation peters out. The only thought that can get any traction in your brain is how badly you need to use the bathroom after drinking so much.

You excuse yourself from the group and make your way towards the hallway where the kids’ rooms are. This area of the house is as familiar to you as the back of your hand from working here so much, which is a good thing as you stagger with next to no coordination. Once the bathroom door is shut behind you, it takes all of your concentration to focus on what you have to do. That leaves no brain power to pick up on the cheering that’s coming from out in the living room. 

Out amongst his friends, Eddie’s asking where you are, and Vickie is the one to tell him that she saw you headed towards the bathroom. Eddie thanks her and heads towards the back of the house, eager to get to you as the time until midnight shrinks by the second. Your boyfriend turns the corner and is about to knock on the bathroom door when he sees that it’s wide open. He pokes his head inside and it looks like the room hasn’t been touched the whole evening. Realization hitting him, Eddie groans and rubs a hand over his face.

“God damn it, Harrington. Why is your house so big?”

He makes his way back towards the front of the house, figuring out that you must be using the bathroom in the front hallway, the one you’d be most likely to use when you’re here watching the kids. The buzzing house makes it difficult for Eddie to navigate his way to you as quickly as he wants, knowing how upset you’ll be if you miss your midnight kiss. Eddie swears under his breath as he looks down at his watch and it tells him it’s 12:01. Finally arriving at the right bathroom, he knocks on the door.

It swings inward and you step out, grinning when you see Eddie there.

“Hi!”

Even in his frustration, Eddie can’t help but smile at your excitement at seeing him—alcohol-fueled or not.

“Sweetheart,” he starts, taking your hand and pulling you close to his chest. “It’s after midnight.”

“No, it’s not,” you say with a shake of your head. “Cause at midnight we gotta kiss.”

“We missed it, princess,” he tells you, keeping his voice soft.

It takes your brain longer than normal to process his words, but once it does, a frown pulls at your mouth and your eyes get wide. Eddie shouldn’t think it’s as adorable as he does.

“It’s my fault,” you say. “I-I was in the bathroom. I didn’t know what time it was!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Eddie says, wrapping both of his arms around you. He rubs his hand up and down your back, soothingly. “It’s not your fault. “I tried to come get you and I was late, too.”

“We missed our first New Year’s Eve kiss.” With a whine, you bury your face in Eddie’s chest as tears begin to fall. Strong arms hold you tightly and the weight of Eddie’s head rests against the top of your own.

“Do you want to go back out to the party?” Eddie asks after a few minutes of just holding you.

Sniffling, you shake your head.

“M’sorry, Eddie.”

“Hey.” Eddie cups your face in his hands and tilts your head up. “You have nothing to be sorry about. You and I are going to have New Year’s kisses together for the rest of our lives. And I plan on kissing you every day for the rest of forever, even after we’re dead.” Eddie feels the tightness in his chest lessen as you let out a small giggle at his joke. “So, one late kiss is nothing, sweetheart.” He leans in and presses his lips gently against yours, trying to convey the love and adoration he has for you as he cradles your face. When you pull back, Eddie raises his eyebrows at you in question—did that help?

Much to Eddie’s relief, you nod and wipe your eyes. They’re still sore and puffy, but that will fade. Plus, that’s easy to blame on alcohol consumption. 

“Do you want to go home?” Eddie asks.

You shake your head.

“We can stay a little longer,” you say.

“We don’t have to.”

“Wanna have more fun with you.”

That has a small smile growing on your boyfriend’s face.

“I like the sound of that.”

The party winds down now that midnight has passed, and you and Eddie stay for a little while longer. As guests start to leave, you find yourself mingling with everyone and sharing last laughs with his old friends. Eventually, you and Eddie bid those who haven’t left yet goodnight and head back to his apartment. 

By the time you arrive home, it’s almost one in the morning. Eddie tosses his keys down on the counter while you shuffle into the kitchen for a glass of water. Sleepily, Eddie follows in behind you but perks up with a smile when he glances at the clock.

“Hey, princess?”

“Hmm?”

“C’mere.”

Body just going through the motions in your tired state, you put the glass down and Eddie tugs you up against his body.

“It’s almost one,” he whispers.

“Okay,” you say, though it sounds more like a question.

“It’s about to be the New Year in the next time zone. So, if we kiss at one, I think that counts as a New Year’s kiss. Don’t you?”

Understanding fights its way through your hazy brain until it clicks. A small smile lights up your face as you nod.

“That sounds like a good plan to me.”

Eddie turns his head to look at the clock on the wall, the second hand racing around towards the nine. Your eyes track the ticking of the thin black line as well, holding your breath as you wait for the hour to strike.

Just as the second hand lands on the twelve, Eddie tilts your chin up and catches your lips with his own. A warm and fuzzy feeling that has nothing to do with your drinking envelops your body as you wrap your arms around his neck. Eddie’s hands rest firmly on your waist, holding onto you as if his life depended on it.

When you part, you rest your foreheads against one another’s. The small, dark apartment shrouds the two of you in shadow, only a sliver of the moon shining in the window giving you enough light to see each other by. The night is quiet around you, no movement breaking the peace as you and Eddie simply gaze into one another’s eyes.

“Happy New Year’s, baby.”

[pumpkinbxtch]

ok so like I just requested so please take your time on this next one, I’m over here asking again alr because you’re response was so nice to my last one it made me feel ok asking again 😭❤️❤️❤️ I’ll be a little more specific with this one <3

Apollo x Fem!Reader, where the reader is a mortal who keeps reincarnating every hundred or so years and Apollo falls in love every single time 🤭 and once again it’s been a 100 or so years, and suddenly he meets her again!!! this can be god!apollo or Lester!apollo bcs honestly there’s so many possibilities with both so I’ll leave that up to you :3

Again take your time with this one and feel free not to even accept it right away!!! Thank you for the last one again and pls have a great day!! YOURE THE BEST ❤️❤️

• ° . ☆ “Free coupons, take one and cry all afternoon”

— apollo x mortal!reader

part ii

Summary: Apollo has literally loved you for years and years and lifetimes. Now that you return to him, that time his crossroads will not be long, but at least he was able to see you and fall in love with you once again. warnings: bad words, yea umm. Haha a/n: I'm so happy you liked what I wrote. It's really very important to me. AND SORRY if I'm late, it's just inspiration. The gods refused to give it to me, but it is here. Kisses.- From the other side of the milky way, María.

The first time, Apollo saw you and without hesitation passed his heart towards you. Oh gods, he had the best weeks of his life, but then he had to let you go. You were a mortal, he couldn't be with you for long without exposing you to danger.

And since he loved you so much, he decided to give up, he forced himself to see more for you than for his need to be with you.

He had already calculated it, it was about 100 years or so to see you again, but throughout those, he changed completely, he had to face a great battle against his father's ego and that of himself. He almost forgot how old and ageless he was, when you spend more than six months fighting for your life, that's how it is. Until that day when he accompanied his now friends to an amusement park, the same ones as always; Will, Nico, Rachel, Meg, and the seven. Ten young adults, one teenager and ONE “apparent” young adult. They were having a great time, actually.

The roller coasters, the ice cream, the sun (him), the kiddie rides that Meg insisted on riding. But Apollo had gotten tired, can a god get tired? Well, he's trying to keep up with so many demigods with ADHD at a fun fair.

He took a seat on one of those wooden benches with faded rainbow paint. The others looked for him and gathered around.

— Apollo! I want to go to the water attraction —  Percy said, holding Annabeth's hand, who was apparently analyzing the map of the place.

— Yes, and then we go to the flying chairs — said Jason, his practically brother. A smile that he had never seen adorned his face, next to him, Leo hung from the blonde's neck.

—Yes, come on, sunny.

—Don't be lazy, I want to go to the carousel.— Meg said, squeezing the dolphin plushie that he had won for her in the shooting game.

Frank handed him his ice cream, and Hazel looked at him for any injuries.

Will and Nico seemed to have moved on, they were very lovey-dovey lately.

—Thank you, Frank. I'm fine —

— If you don't like sharing, I can go get one for you.

Apollo smiled and brushed his brown hair out of his face.

—I'm fine, man. Don't worry.

But he knew that wasn't the case, he felt something in his stomach that wouldn't leave him alone.

Piper and Rachel looked at each other, both seeming to read each other's minds as they discussed something.

—How about we walk Meg to the carousel and come back for you? It sounds fun, a bunch of us riding metal animals going up and down —  Piper said, taking Meg's hand. Rachel nodded and smiled at Apollo.

— Yes, I think it will be enough for you to rest.

No one had any objections, but Apollo had sensed a certain charm in the words of Aphrodite's daughter. Was he missing something?

Everyone advanced and Rachel was the last to set off, she looked at the god knowingly.

— Good luck.

Apollo did not know what those words meant, and he waved goodbye. A remorse for not accompanying them invaded him, but he stayed sitting on the bench. He ruffled his curls anxiously and leaned on his thighs, taking in the great view of the concrete with a cooler of ants carrying breadcrumbs. Then, he felt a hit on the head and an apology.

— Sorry! Are you ok?

He looked up and oh, fuck. It was you? He could feel his heart crushing and feeling on fire. Apollo stood up from the bench.

— I-I'm fine, don't worry.

The last time he had seen you, your eyes were the color of olive, now they were brown, but the look was the same. You gave him a warm smile and placed your hands on your chest.

— Really? —

He nodded and smiled, too.  For you, Apollo's blue eyes became familiar within seconds of seeing them.

— We know each other?

“We've met thousands of times,” he wanted to say, but he couldn't. In other lives, he had told you that he was a god, and you believed him. But the situation in how you had met that day, the hurried manner of your meeting, told him that the meeting with you would not last at all. Even so, seconds or glances were enough for him, he was already in love with you, again.

His heart was immersed in melancholy, and he wanted to hug you.

— Maybe…

You opened your eyes a little and approached him curiously, you smelled like lavender and sunshine, that last one made his stomach flip. You were almost invading his personal space, which made him push his chin back to avoid bumping into your nose.

— I thought that, too. Do you come here often? It's just that I work at one of those food islands. — You told him and stepped back smiling to show him your uniform. You had a cap with the company logo embroidered on it.

— Ahm yes, with… — He thought of Meg and the others. He made a silent apology to Artemis — My sister and my friends.

You widened your smile and dug something into your pants pockets.

Apollo wanted to kiss you.

You hummed and finally took out some papers. Would you give him your number?

You held them out to him.

— Coupons!

Apollo took them gently, your fingers collided with his, and you felt a kind of electricity in your stomach. You let out a nervous laugh.

— Well, see you…— The boy came out of his trance. A name, he wouldn't say Apollo, would he?, but…

—Lester! — You smiled again and waved your hand goodbye.

— See you, Lester.

And you walked away from him, leaving him empty and wanting to take you with him to spend the rest of the afternoon at the fair, to be happy, to be together.

He spread the coupons in the palm of his hand and looked at them. He was able to gain something from his misfortune, at least. Of course, why not? Burgers for everyone.

— Apollo! — Meg's voice made him turn, and he smiled when he saw everyone. It seemed that Will and Nico had found their way back to the others.

Rachel met his gaze, she seemed slightly worried. So at that moment it all became obvious, she knew he would meet you.

Apollo sighed and held up the coupons in his hand.

— are you hungry?

[marie-swriting]

What If - Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Summary : After having an accident, Jake wants to live in the moment even more and take your relationship a step forward, but do you ?

Warnings : Bradshaw!Reader (Reader is Bradley's younger sister by two years), mention of plane accident, mention of deaths (parents and best friend), fear of losing loved ones, proposal, angst, sad ending, implied struggling with mental health, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 4.6k

French version

Song inspiration : Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift

You run in the hospital hallways, searching for room 322. Your anxiety increases with every step you take. Your destination seems unreachable. Your eyes are filled with tears but you hold them back. However, the second you walk through the door 322, they run free on your cheeks. Seeing Jake’s body laying down on the bed, hurt, doesn’t help to reduce your stress. Hearing you walking in the room, Jake gives you a big smile as if he didn’t almost die the day before. You get closer to him, examining him a bit more while wiping your cheeks. His left arm is in a sling, his head is bandaged and he has several cuts on his face.

“So, I heard you like bad boys,” Jake starts with a cocky smile, “is this good enough for you?”

“Jake, this is not the time to make jokes. You could have died!” you retort, sitting on the chair next to his bed.

“And I didn’t. I’m here and alive.”

“And hurt.”

“The fact is I’m alive. Thanks to your brother.” he specifies, showing Bradley with his chin.

“At least, we now know who is the best pilot.” your brother jokes.

“In your dreams, Rooster, I just wanted to test your ability to react quickly.”

“You’ll do your pissing contest later, tell me how you’re feeling.” you ask, still panicked.

“I’m fine. I almost don’t feel anything thanks to the meds. Y/N, I am fine, really.” Jake promises you, taking your hand with his right one.

“I’m gonna leave you alone.” Bradley informs you by pressing your shoulder. “Get some rest, Hangman.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you.” Jake says once you’re alone.

“Trust me, it’s not just worrying. I really thought… For a moment, I was sure…” you stutter, a tear rolling down your cheek again.

“I know, I’m sorry. Come here.” he invites you, moving in the best way so you can lie down.

“No, I might hurt you.”

“I don’t care.”

Reluctantly, you get closer to the bed. You think of the best way you could get in bed without hurting him. Jake rolls his eyes before dragging you towards him with his abled arm. You find yourself next to him and you put your head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his natural scent and the hospital.

“Don’t ever do that again. I can’t lose you.” you mutter.

“You won’t lose me. I promise.” Jake affirms, forcing you to look at him. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, Jake.”

You give a small smile then you press your lips against Jake’s. Your kiss isn’t as passionate as it could be, yet it shares all the love you feel.

Once the night comes, you refuse to leave Jake. You literally beg the nurses to let you stay the night. At first, they insist on you leaving, nonetheless when you explain how scared you were to lose your boyfriend and how you can only stay in San Francisco for two days due to your job, they accept. Therefore, you’re currently on the chair in the corner of the room with a thin blanket. Jake wanted you to stay with him on the bed but you said you wouldn’t, you are afraid you might hurt him while sleeping. Your unimportant argument lasted thirty minutes but you stood your ground until the end.

Tired because of his medicines, Jake fell asleep in a few minutes. As for you, you stay awake, watching his chest rise and fall at the rhythm of his breaths. You don’t dare to look away, fearing that by doing so, he might stop respiring. 

Notwithstanding, with the hours passing by and with all the emotion you felt, Morpheus comes to embrace you in his arms. At first, your sleep is relaxing though as soon as you start dreaming, your breathing quickens. You see Jake lying on the ground unconscious, you hear your own heart-rending scream when Bradley tells you about an accident, you smell the rain while the coffin sinks in the ground, you touch the tears on your fingers whilst you’re wiping your cheeks and finally, you feel your own heart that seems like it stopped beating in your chest. 

You wake up jumping at that last sensation. You calm down your breathing while you stare at Jake, wanting to make sure he’s still alive in his hospital bed. You can’t see his chest moving, you panic then you stand up from the chair and run to him. Jake lightly opens the mouth before closing it several times and then changing position in the bed. Seeing him moving makes you sigh in relief. 

Jake is okay. Jake is alive. Jake is not dead. Jake will not die.

No matter how many times you repeat those sentences like a mantra, your anxiety still doesn’t leave your body. Tears threaten to really stream down your face so you discreetly leave the room. Thankfully, the corridor is empty, allowing you to cry your eyes out. You hold back sobs as much as you can. If you sobbed, you would wake Jake up for sure.

You need a moment to calm down your tears. Seeing Jake hurt because of his work in the Navy overwhelmed you so much for several reasons. The first one being because you love Jake and you don’t want to lose him. The second one is because of the buried memories. Your dad died when you were still a baby and Bradley was only two. You don’t have memories of him but you know how much his death affected your mom. The loss of your father isn’t the only one haunting you. You also lost your best friend Lucy. You had been friends with her since you were four years old. You were inseparable until she enlisted in the army and died at twenty. 

Receiving Bradley’s call about Jake gave you a glimpse of what your mother and Lucy’s mom went through, a trial you always hoped you’d never face.

Once you're sure you won’t fall apart, you go back in the room. By some miracle, Jake didn’t hear you leaving or entering, probably because of the medicine - normally, he’s a light sleeper. You walk back to the chair and stay awake the whole night, you don’t want to sit through another tragic scenario made by your brain.

The next day, you stay with Jake until the evening. You don’t want to leave him behind in the hospital, however, you have work so you don’t have a choice. Bradley promises you he’ll stay with Jake until his family comes during the week-end and he’ll keep you updated on Jake’s health. You only trust Bradley for this, you know Jake might not tell you everything to not worry you.

When you’re back home, you find your apartment dull. What is supposed to make you feel better can’t comfort you whilst in your mind, you get more lost in your deepest fears. The fact you’re in the process of moving out doesn’t help. 

Jake and you are supposed to get a small house together. You should have the keys in two weeks, his deployment was supposed to be over by then. A few days ago, you were still looking forward to leaving your apartment and living with the man you love and now, you don’t know anymore.

Your relationship has always been exceptional, not only because he’s a good man but also considering that, before him, you wouldn’t allow yourself to date an army man. You always knew your mother as a half empty shell so you always wanted to protect yourself from the same deadly fate and the loss of Lucy didn’t help either. You’re already worried about losing your brother and Maverick, whom you consider as your uncle, you don’t want to risk losing your partner, too. Therefore, you had always refused to fall in love with a man like this. Before, you could do it until Jake appeared in your life; just like his personality, his entrance in your life was loud. You tried to resist it but your heart didn’t give you a choice so, for the first time, you broke your own rule. Your relationship with Jake is the most beautiful one you’ve ever had and you have no regrets about it. You used to have no regrets about it. His accident was a good reminder of how dangerous his job is. 

Until you came home, you tried to shut down your fears and your doubts though, now, in your half-empty apartment, you can’t ignore it anymore. That night, you can’t sleep, your mind too busy to torture you.

Unfortunately for you, your mind doesn't give you one second of peace. The following days, you doubt your whole relationship with Jake, imagining the worst case scenarios in which he’d die during several milestones : your first house together, your wedding, pregnancies, anniversaries. The list never seems to end. You can’t be optimistic about it. You’re completely lost in your worries to the point where you end up living like a robot. You’re making yourself sick while anticipating the worst.

Your downward spiral is interrupted a week later by a knock on your door one morning. At first, you ignore the noise, comfortably staying in your discontent. However, when the person insists, you leave your bed and open them, not without sighing, annoyed. You’re about to tell the person to leave but the presence of Jake stops you. He wasn’t supposed to come back to San Diego right now and yet, here he is, in front of you, a big smile on his face and his left arm still in the sling and his wounds on his face starting to fade.

“Jake? What are you doing here? You still need to rest!”

“I know, I wanted to see you though and I couldn’t wait so I took the night train at the last minute. Can I come in?” Jake asks and  you let him in, still surprised.

“Why didn’t you call me? I could have come during the weekend.”

“I wanted to surprise you. You’re okay ? You look under the weather.” he observes, stroking your cheek.

“I should ask you this, you’re the one who almost died not even a week ago.” you answer, taking his hand in yours.

“I’m better, Y/N. Even Bradley told you so. The recovery is gonna be long but I’ll be okay.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“I love when you go all mother hen. It’s cute.” he says, kissing your cheek and you let go of a laugh.

“You’re an idiot. Let’s go to the living room.” you invite him, starting to walk. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No. I just want to talk to you.” Jake informs you.

“About what?”

You frown when he prevents you from sitting on your couch. He slowly strokes your hand before taking a deep breath.

“Look, you know I always try to enjoy the present and with this accident, it really made me realise how precious what we currently have is. I don’t want to waste any seconds, I want to enjoy every moment with you. There is something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a moment now but I would keep telling myself it might be too early so I always pushed it back then I talked about it with my mom and she convinced me to jump in with both feet.”

“Jake, what do you mean?” you question, stress twisting your stomach.

“Y/N,” Jake resumes, looking deeply in your eyes, “since the second I saw you, I knew you were the woman made for me. I knew you were worth the fight, even if, at first, you wouldn’t pay attention to me. You’re the most intelligent, funny, compassionate and beautiful woman I know. We will have our own house soon and I can’t wait to reach this milestone with you but I’d love for us to reach another one.” he confesses, putting one knee down and your eyes are wide open.

“Jake.”

“Y/N, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

“Wh-what ?” you stutter and Jake nervously laughs.

“Will you marry me?”

“Are you serious?” you question, dropping his hand.

“Huh, yes, I even have the ring.” he specifies, taking out the ring from his pocket, “Though I gotta admit, I think of saying it’s just a joke right now, you’re making me nervous.”

“I’m just surprised. I don’t know what to say.” you defend yourself.

Your eyes are set on Jake’s ring. You’ve seen it before. He’d shown it to you the day you first met his parents a year ago. It’s his great-grand-mother’s ring. It’s simple but you find it beautiful.

“It’s easy, say yes or no.” Jake replies with an anxious smile.

“Jake, we’ve only been together for two years.” you argue and Jake stands up.

“We don’t have to get married next year. We can be engaged for several years. We can wait before calling each other husband and wife, but I have to admit I’d love to, at least, call you my fiancée.”

“Jake, I can’t.” you end up saying.

“What, do you have a first husband in your attic or something?” Jake laughs and you see the panic in his eyes.

“No, I can’t marry you.”

Your sentence sounds like a fatal blow in Jake’s ears. He stays silent, staring at you without understanding what’s going on. He gets a grip on himself when his phone rings in his pocket. Jake knows it’s his mom. She knew he was going to propose today and she is impatient to call you her daughter-in-law. However, it looks like it won’t be the case. Jake opens his mouth several times before managing to utter something:

“What? Why?”

“I… I can’t.”

“But I love you, we love each other. You love me, right?” he asks, doubtful.

“Of course I love you, Jake, more than I ever loved before.” you promise him, making him frown.

“What’s the problem then?”

“I don’t want to marry you.”

If your first refusal already seemed awful to him, the sentence you just said is the final blow. The fact that you don’t want to marry him breaks his heart. He’s lost. It was supposed to be a joyful moment and yet, the ground is falling apart under him.

“What? Did something happen? Did I do something? I… I thought everything was fine between us.”

“It is.”

“Y/N, you have to stop being vague, I don’t understand anything.” he retorts with a strong tone. “What’s going on?”

“You should leave.”

“No, We have to talk about it. You can’t tell me you love me then tell me you don’t want to marry me. Talk to me, Y/N, you have to talk to me. Give me a reason, at least.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” you answer, avoiding his eyes.

“If you explained to me, maybe I’d understand. Are… Are you breaking up with me? Is that why you haven’t been calling me lately?” he questions, desperately searching for an explanation for your behaviour.

“I’ve just been thinking a lot and I think it’s best if we stop right now. I’m sorry, Jake, but I can’t keep being with you. You’ll find someone with whom you’ll share your life with and who will want to marry you.”

“I want it to be you.” he says with a weak tone, tearing up.

“Jake, please.”

“Very well then.” Jake accepts, hurt in his eyes.

Jake turns around and at the rhythm of his steps, your heart breaks whilst you’re looking at him walking to the door. You begged him to leave and yet, you only want to scream at him to come back to you and to hold you in his arms while you apologise. Yet, you stay silent. Jake doesn’t look back when he closes the door.

Once you’re alone, you fall down on your couch. In your head, you convince yourself it’s the best decision. After all, you should feel relieved, now, you don’t have to worry about losing Jake because of his job anymore. Nevertheless, your mind is not calm. You don’t know which way to turn but for different reasons. You wish it was different, it was easier, he had another job, you weren’t afraid. You spend the night crying while removing every trace of Jake in your apartment and unpack some boxes. You have to move on right now before you lose yourself a bit more.

You haven’t talked to Jake for three weeks. He tried to contact you but you ignored every one of his calls. He first wanted to fix your relationship before understanding it was too late, though he wants explanations, explanations you keep for yourself. You don’t want to tell him, you know it’s ridiculous. Why end a relationship given a potential “what if” when everything is fine? However, you also know if you had moved ahead with Jake, you would have ended up sabotaging your relationship. Technically, it’s what you did though at least, you didn’t have to call lawyers to leave his life.

Bradley tried to call you, too, and just like for Jake, you ignored him. Jake probably told him about your break up and Bradley, always being the honourable man, wants to fix the situation. Except the situation can’t be fixed. You don’t want to fix the situation.

When you come back from work that day, you’re surprised to discover your brother at your doorstep. Without thinking, you run in his arms. Sure, you’ve been ignoring him lately but you missed him. The last time you saw each other, you were too focused on Jake to pay attention to him. He holds you in his arms and strokes your back. As soon as you break your embrace, you let Bradley in. You go to your kitchen while talking about banality. Whilst walking, Bradley pays attention to your apartment and notices there isn’t a picture of Jake anymore. Once you’re sitting at the table, you stay silent, waiting for who will be the first to talk about the subject.

“We should talk about the elephant in the room, don’t you think?” Bradley says after a few minutes.

“There’s nothing to say.” you retort, tensed.

“Y/N, you threw away a two years relationship for no reason.”

“I have my reasons.”

“Which are? Jake is probably curious to know them.”

“If you came here to make things better, you’re wasting your time, Brad’.”

“You can’t act like that and expect to not justify yourself. You were happy with Jake, you love him and you broke up without giving a warning. I have to admit when he told me you refused his proposal, I was shocked. I thought you were gonna say yes without hesitating.”

“You knew?”

“He asked me before coming here. I confess, I laugh at him, I didn’t expect him to ask for your hand or give me a heads-up, like he said.” Bradley informs with a smile, thinking back to the memory. “Everything was good between you two, wasn’t it? So why?”

“It’s better like this. He’ll have a wife who knows how to stay and I won’t suffer.”

“Wait, is all of this because of the parents and Lucy?” he questions, understanding the reason. “You’re still with this stupid no-dating-army-guy rule? I thought we were over with it! Y/N, you can’t ruin your life just because you’re scared.”

“I don’t want to end up like mom! You can’t blame me! We were kids but you can’t deny there was a before and an after with mom. She wasn’t laughing like she used to, she wasn’t smiling like she used to. She was the shadow of her former self. I don’t want to go through this if Jake were to die.” you confess.

“It’s because of his accident, isn’t it?”

“It reminded me he could die at any given moment with his work.”

“Just like he could die off-duty. He can have an accident, have a heart attack, choke while eating. You don’t know what will happen in the future. You can’t condemn yourself ‘cause you’re too afraid he might die while flying. It’s ridiculous.” Bradley affirms, resolutely.

“I’m already afraid of losing you and Mav’ and I already lost Lucy and we lost dad, I don’t want Jake to join this list. Can’t you really blame me? I’d rather protect myself by not being afraid everytime my boyfriend goes to work.”

“Let’s imagine the worst were to happen, don’t you think it’d be better to think you spent every second with him? You’d rather live with regrets? You’d rather break your own heart?”

“At least, I know why I’m hurting.”

“Y/N, you have to think about it again.” he sighs. “You have to get out of your head that the worst will happen. You can’t prevent yourself from being happy because of what could happen. You deserve a beautiful life and to be with Jake. I never saw you this happy before and it kills me to see you throw it away because you’re scaring yourself.”

“The problem is I can’t help it,” you start with trembling lips. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it when we first got together then it got better. However, since his accident, it’s been worse. Since your call, I keep imagining what could have happened and what could happen and I’m tired of it, Bradley. I’ll never get rid of it and I hate it but that’s how it is. Believe me, if I could change, I’d do it right now, but I can’t.”

Bradley hugs you as soon as he sees you crying. He holds you against him until your tears stop a few hours later. His heart aches seeing you hurting this much. He knows you’ve always been more affected by your father’s death. Being the youngest, the emptiness you feel about your dad has always been stronger. It got worse with Lucy’s death. That day, Bradley really saw you get broken. He hated every second of this moment of your life. He hates seeing suffering like you currently are. Several times, Bradley tried to help you, he advised you to go see a professional but you’ve always refused. Until now, he had hoped your fears would ease with time, yet, your relationship with Jake just proved him it got worse and he doesn’t know what to do. He’s completely distraught whilst he keeps holding you against him, hoping to give you some kind of comfort. 

Two months have passed since your break up. You take it day by day to heal your broken heart. Bradley tries to stay with you as much as he can while Jake isn’t surrounded by anyone. He prefers to wear a mask and pretend your negative answer isn’t hurting him. Nevertheless, the second he’s home alone, his mask falls and he allows himself to feel all his pain. Jake, who has always done it, manages to fool everyone with his fake cocky smile. Almost everyone. Coyote sees right through him.

That night is no exception. Sitting at the counter in the Hard Deck, Jake is drinking his third alcoholic drink. Jake has isolated himself from the rest of the Dagger Squad, saying he’s tired and wanted to be alone. Though, Javy doesn’t let him be in the doldrums. He sits on the stool next to Jake and orders a beer from Penny. Coyote gives him some minutes of peace before speaking.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Coyote doesn’t even need to specify for Jake to understand. Your relationship has been a taboo subject for two months.

“Not really.” Jake says, taking a sip.

“You should.” he replies while Penny hands him his beer. “Do you at least know why she made this decision?”

Jake didn’t tell anyone the reason for your fallout. He feels humiliated enough by your harsh refusal to his proposal, he wants to bury the end of your relationship and never talk about it again. Though Javy is right, Jake knows he has to open up.

“Rooster talked to her. Turns out she doesn’t want to marry me because she’s scared I might die on-duty.”

“Did your accident scare her that much?” Javy questions, taken aback.

“It was the final straw but she’s always been scared apparently. I mean, I suspected it, you know, seeing what we do for a living, it makes sense. She also lost her dad and her best friend in similar circumstances. The problem is I didn’t know those deaths affected her that much. Anyway, there is nothing else to say.”

Coyote doesn't say anything for a moment, taking in the information and the way might have felt when he learned them.

“Well, she would have made such a lovely bride. What a shame she’s fucked in the head.” he says, ignoring what else to say.

“She suffered and she doesn’t want to go through this pain again, we can’t blame her. I’m not saying she should stay lost in her fear, it’s not healthy though, I get why she does.” Jake states before taking a deep breath and finishing his drink in one go. “I just wish she would trust our love more than her fears.”

Once he comes home, Jake sits down on his couch, sighing loudly. He runs a hand on his face, emotionally drained. As soon as his hand lands on his thigh, his eyes find a picture hung beside his TV that he didn’t have the strength to remove. It’s a photo he took at the beginning of your relationship, more precisely the day you told each other ‘I love you’ for the first time.

You had spent the day at the beach during summer. The sun was setting down whilst you were laughing at a stupid sentence Jake had said. He had stopped laughing before you, admiring you while you tried to calm your laughter. Then, Jake had looked deeply in your eyes and he had said those three words so simple and yet, so powerful. You had replied the following second with a big smile on your face. Before leaving the beach, Jake had asked to immortalise this moment. Thinking back on it, it was cliché and cheesy but Jake didn’t care. For you, he would have done the most cliché gestures if it could make you break a smile.

Jake keeps staring at the picture, your relationship running in his head. Without noticing it, he tears up before the tears stream down his face. It’s the third time he cries since your break up. The first time, it was the night of the proposal after he went home and the second time, when Bradley explained to him the reason behind your ‘no’.

Jake has never been good with his emotions. Between his education and his work in the army, he’s never learned to put words on his pain and to accept being vulnerable. With you, he had succeeded to understand himself better and to open up. It was still complicated despite two years together but he had improved. Now, he is back to square one. He’s back to his shell, running away from his emotions. Though, it doesn’t mean his mind isn’t haunted by 'what if's. What if he never had this accident? What if he had seen right through your fears sooner? What if he had managed to reassure you? What if he had managed to convince you to get the help you need? What if everything was different?

As for you, the questions are similar. Every night, you torture your own mind before crying yourself to sleep whilst looking at the spot where there once was the picture of your first ‘I love you’ before you ripped it off from your bedroom wall just like you ripped off both of your hearts from your chest.

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

[thetriplets3]

hii hru?? can you do “lingering looks, they should have turned away seconds ago” from the prompt list with matt?? thank uu

started with this idea, got carried away and I have no idea if what I wrote makes any sense but enjoy and thank you for your request I loved writing this

⁵⁵⁵ change ⁵⁵⁵

Matt and I are best friends, always have been, probably always will be but he’ll never see me as anything more. I was always closer to Matt than his brothers. He was the first person I’d go to if I needed anything. Sick, upset, happy, hurt, excited, you name it Matt was first to know.

Matt has this ability to make anyone feel safe, welcomed and loved. He has such a warm gentle soul and his presence is always a comfort to me. We’re both very affectionate people, hugs, cuddling, linking arms in crowded spaces, or pats on the back in passing. I haven’t seen Matt and his brothers in about 8 months, other than FaceTime calls since I moved away for school. The semester has come to an end which means I’m back home for the summer.

Wanting to see all my friends, the boys invited me to stay at their home in LA for a few weeks. Arriving to their house I take everything around me in, almost inspecting the place. They moved here about 3 months ago but since I was away at school I haven’t been here yet. My inspection is quickly interrupted by Chris swinging the front door open and squealing my name out, before tackling me in a tight, much needed hug.

“Missed you kid” he says, ruffling my hair as I’m bending down to take my shoes off.

“You’re literally the child here, kid” I joke.

Settling all my stuff into Nick’s room, he and I head to the living room to watch a movie. I’ve made myself comfortable in the corner seat of the couch curled in a ball on my side, resisting the urge to fall asleep.

Hearing what sounded like something falling, my eyes curiously drift in the direction of the noise, stopping briefly on Nick whose clearly used to this type of thing before looking up only to be met with Matt regaining his balance. I smile, taking in his presence and energy. Our eyes meet and it feels like time has stood still. We’ve FaceTimed a bunch over the last 8 months so it’s not like I haven’t seen them at all but seeing him in person after all this time feels different. A good different.

Seeing how much he’s changed makes my heart do backflips. I was worried when I moved away that the boys and I would grow apart but they made sure to let me know it’s gonna take a lot more than me moving to lose them. They look happier, there’s a glow to them. You can tell that they’re at a good place in their life just by looking at them. Matt had this air of confidence around him that he didn’t have when I left. He seems more comfortable with himself and happy, which makes me happy. His style has definitely changed and improved since I saw him last. I’ve always loved his style and now he radiates confidence. My love for him grows seeing him in person after so long. The change of moving from where I grew up with all my friends and family around me to living alone half way across the country scared me to death. But now that I’m standing here in front of him, change doesn’t seem so scary.

“Hi sorry to interrupt this little love reunion going on but there’s a movie playing and this vibe going across the room is interfering with that so do something other than stand there please” Nick exasperates.

To appease him we breaks eye contact and Matt makes his way to me, sitting next to me. Opening his arms, inviting me in for a hug I scoot over with my blanket wrapped around me and melt into his hold. Like 2 pieces of a puzzle. Shifting to bring my knees to my chest, I rest my head on his shoulder awkwardly, not being able to fully reach it.

Sensing my discomfort he gently grabs hold of my legs pulling them to lay atop of his lap. Our eyes flicker to each other with a soft smile. Taking his hint to get comfier I rest my head between his shoulder and neck, wrapping my right arm across his body and letting the other lay in my lap. His left hand lies over my knees and the other securely around my back, his thumb mindlessly rubbing my arm.

My eyes shut for a moment taking this feeling in. This feels different than every other time we’ve cuddled. Usually it’s just a head against a shoulder, head on the chest but this feels like it’s beyond those boundaries. He’s holding me to him like he doesn’t want me to leave, the hands on my leg feels intimate, it’s like he’s trying to tell himself I’m actually here and he’s not imagining it. I’m not complaining. I’ve spent the last 8 months just dying to be back with my people, my safe place.

A tear slips from my eyes. My hand grabs a hold of his shirt, balling it in my fist. Feeling a hitch in my breathing he tightens his hold on me letting me know he’s here. He places a soft kiss on the top of my head.

“I’m here sweet girl, I’m not leaving” he whispers.

Wanting to see his face I shift my head slightly resting my cheek on his shoulder softly smiling up at him. I’ve always admired his perfect bone structure and his stubble makes him look much more mature. My favorite color lies in his eyes. My cheeks tinted pinks, watery eyes, and soft pout on my face causes a small laugh to escape his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful. You seem happier than when you moved, it suits you” his eyes scan over my face landing on my eyes “I missed you life’s not the same without you here” he continues looking at me, taking in every detail, wanting to remember this new version of me. “I love you” he says with a slight chuckle to ease the tension he might have created.

“That’s the first thing I thought when I saw you, you seem more confident and happy, still clumsy but you look at peace with where you are. All I could think about for 8 months was coming back and being here with you. The camera doesn’t do you justice” I say. The words I’ve been wanting to say for so long dance on my tongue, nervous to show themselves. “I love you”. Finally.

Hearing that makes him smile, making me smile. I can’t not smile when he does it’s irresistible. Placing a sweet kiss to my forehead, I nuzzle my head back into the crook of his neck as he holds me closer.

“I wasn’t aware I picked a romance movie, gross” Nick says with disgust and sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Change isn’t always a bad thing, it leads you to exactly what you need in life at the right time.

taglist: @antisocialties @iluvmatt @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans @opheliaofficial07 @angelcake-222 @oneirophobic @strniolo

[andreafmn]

Collision | Chapter 23

Word Count: 4.4K Warnings: medical procedures, death

Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life is at its first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same.

A/N: goodness me, I know it's been forever since I've updated anything. I've been in a bit of a mental rut and nothing was coming to me, but I'm finishing up a couple of updates so I'll definitely be publishing a few things this week. Also, please don't hate me for updating the less loved Twilight fic. Speak is coming soon 🫣🫣 also also, new character 👀👀

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(Y/N) knew it had been too quiet for too long.

Well, not entirely quiet.

After the encounter with Laurent in the woods, his friend Victoria had shown up. The vampire had gone through hitchhikers in Forks like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet. It had the sheriff station in Forks and La Push on high alert. There were too many bodies and not enough explanations—at least none that could be known by the public.

The pack had already doubled their efforts during their patrols, doing all in their power to run the redhead out of their land while protecting the Swan duo in theirs. They had lost sleep and had been overworked for weeks. The vampire had bested them in every move, taunting the pack with her swift and calculated moves.

But the important thing was that Bella was safe, and she seemed to be getting better. At least for the past couple of weeks, she had been better. That’s what (Y/N) thought until she got a call one early March morning.

“What do you mean Bella knows about you?” (Y/N) said through gritted teeth. “And it happened a week ago? Why am I just finding out? I literally talked to her before spring break started.”

“It seems Jacob hinted to the stories she used to hear when she was a kid,” Sam sighed. “Gotta give it to the kid. He really found a workaround the rules. I was gonna tell you as soon as it happened, but you had your exams and everything, so no one wanted to worry you with it.”

“How did she take it? Is everyone okay?”

“Well, Jake and Paul had a little row because Bella blamed us for Jacob keeping his distance from her,” her brother chuckled. “And, well, Paul got a bit mouthy, and Bella ended up slapping him—at least, attempting to—which cause him to get angry and phase. Subsequently Jacob phased to protect her. They’re both fine now and Bella knows everything.”

“And no rules were broken I suppose,” (Y/N) sighed. “But Bella now knows about wolves and vampires and somehow is back in the center of all supernatural danger. Isn’t this all just great?” 

“This is gonna sound harsh, but I prefer her being hunted than you, (Y/N),” Sam admitted. “I know we can protect you in our land, but this one is ruthless and relentless. I would hate for her to have your scent.”

“Well, she doesn’t, thankfully,” she said. “Don’t think she even had my description since you killed her friend. But I thought we were gonna be more proactive when sharing information now.”

“I know, but I wanted you to at least pass that test first,” he confessed. “Look at you now, on your first week as a student doctor.”

“I still can’t believe it’s happening,” (Y/N) exclaimed. “I don’t know what spirits are looking out for me, but it’s almost unbelievable that I’ve been able to do any of this. It takes months for Step 1 to be revised and for college credits to go through. But I’m knocking on wood that these miracles keep happening like this. Might just become the youngest doctor in Washington.”

“If there’s anyone who could do it, it had to be my genius sister.”

“Thanks for the flattery, it does me well in the mornings,” she chuckled. “But I do have to get into work soon. So, thank you for this new information. I will call Bella and see how she’s doing after my shift.”

“Alright, sounds good, Dr. Uley.”

“I like how that sounds,” she beamed. “I’ll see you after work. Bye, Sam.”

“Bye, Dr. Uley.”

When (Y/N) entered the hospital that morning, she believed it would be another routine day. A couple of flu cases, possibly some broken bones in the ER, maybe even a more pressing case. But she had not expected to see Harry Clearwater coming through the doors of the emergency room, Sue trailing close behind.

“(Y/N), I’m gonna need you on this one,” Dr. Mollins, the ER attending, called. “Let’s move the patient to Trauma 1. Talk to me.”

“We’ve got a man in his mid to late 50s showing signs of a severe myocardial infarction,” the paramedic said as he pushed the gurney into the building. “He went into cardiac arrest during transport, but we were able to regain sinus rhythm. He was administered two milligrams of epi.”

(Y/N) felt stuck in her spot, her limbs frozen as the familiar faces moved past her. She had seen her fair share of emergencies during her time at the hospital and her past internships. But seeing someone that she knew completely defenseless and unconscious shot ice through her veins.

“Dr. Uley!” Mollins called her again. “I need you here, now!” 

“Yes, o-of course,” the young woman stammered as she felt her brain finally jumpstart. She sent Sue an apologetic smile as she walked through the curtain that separated Harry’s room from the rest of the beds. “I’m here.”

As soon as she slid the curtain behind her, (Y/N), Eden Mollins, and a nurse started to examine Harry. His blood was extracted, his pulse and his blood pressure were taken, his lungs were listened to, and his temperature was taken. All the while, the man remained unconscious, and (Y/N) prayed to whatever was out there that he at least opened his eyes.

Every second that passed, the girl’s breath hitched in her throat. All she could do was think back at the summers she would spend in the Clearwaters home, running around with Seth and Leah while Harry watched over them, how he and Billy would gather all the kids around the bonfire to tell them stories about the ancestors, how he watched over her and Sam when her father had decided to disappear from their lives.

“I wanna run an EKG and an Echo on the patient,” Eden instructed. “And call in a CT and a chest MRI. The patient is still unconscious, so…”

“Harry,” (Y/N) choked out. “His name is Harry.”

“Excuse me?”

“The patient’s name is Harry,” she restated. “Harry Clearwater.”

“Do you know the pa… Mr. Clearwater, Uley?”

“Yes, I do.”

“You have to tell me right now if that will impair your treatment of the patient today, Uley,” the doctor said. “I cannot have you freeze like you did.”

“Good,” he nodded. “He seems stable for now, so go out there and get some background from the wife. Can you do that?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Alright then.”

The doctor slid the curtains open to reveal a teary-eyed Sue. Once he was gone, (Y/N) allowed herself to throw her arms around the woman, wrapping her in a tight, warm hug as she whispered how sorry she was. “What happened, Sue?” she whispered. “What caused this? He seemed fine last week.”

“Oh gods, (Y/N), it was just too much for him,” the woman sniffled. “It was Leah. She phased.”

“W-what? Leah shifted into a wolf? How is that possible?”

“That’s not all. The second Harry was down, Seth phased too,” she added. “He said only boys turned into wolves, (Y/N). How could it be that Leah is one too?”

“I could not tell you, Sue,” (Y/N) breathed. “This is just as new to me as it is to you. But what could have triggered the change in Leah? I don’t get it. Thought there were normally signs.”

“Well, she had been acting out a lot recently, and her body started changing dramatically. I thought she was just being a normal moody teenager and that maybe she was going through a second puberty,” Sue sighed. “But this morning, we were arguing about how horrible her mood swings had been, and she just exploded. One second, my daughter was standing before us. And the next, there was a grey wolf breaking through our couch. The shock sent Harry down. His heart just couldn’t take it—you know he’s always had trouble with it. Then, Seth—poor thing—seeing his father go down got so anxious that he shifted too. I tried calling Sam after I called 911, but Emily told me he was out with his wolves chasing that leech out of the forest. “It was all so sudden, (Y/N),” the woman cried, taking (Y/N)’s offered hand. “She ran out the door with Seth behind and I couldn’t stop them. I had to get Harry to the hospital.”

“Oh, Sue, that’s just horrible,” the girl said. “I can’t believe that happened.”

“Tell me, (Y/N). Is it bad? Is Harry gonna be okay?”

(Y/N) took in a steadying breath as she braced herself to tell one of the people who had essentially raised her that her husband was not showing good signs. How could she speak those words when she didn’t want to believe them herself? “Look, Sue, I can’t lie to you. Things are not looking good,” she explained. “With his age, his pre-existing condition, and the severity of this episode, it’s still too early to tell. We need him to wake up in order to assess the situation fully. If not…”

“I know,” Sue interjected. “I just don’t know what I would do without him.”

“Okay, let’s not go there just yet, Sue,” (Y/N) stammered. “Why don’t you call someone to be with you while we run labs? I wouldn’t want you to be alone right now.”

“Don’t worry about me, (Y/N),” she softly smiled. “I already called Charlie and Billy. They’re on their way here already.”

“Good. I’m gonna go check on his labs. If you need anything or need me here, just let one of the nurses know and they’ll page me right back.”

“That’s alright, (Y/N). I know you’re busy.”

When she left the room, (Y/N) finally felt like she could breathe. But there was a nagging in the deepest corners of her head that was telling her that something bad was going to go down. Yet, she wanted to listen to the rational side of her brain. Harry was in the best place to receive treatment if another episode were to happen. She had to trust that they would be able to help him. She simply had to.

The girl busied herself with other patients’ labs and filing anything that kept her as far away from Harry’s results as possible. She couldn’t face another loss so quickly. Not yet. She wasn’t sure if her heart could take it.

During her short life, (Y/N) had faced too many grievances that had forced her to grow up too quickly. Her father had walked out of her life when she was too young, and she needed him the most, forcing her mother to spend too much time at work and too little time at home. Most of the time, it was only Sam and her at home dealing with their schoolwork and food. Then, right as they were learning how to be the dynamic duo, she was accepted at St. Agustine Prep, and she had to learn how to be by herself for the better part of four years. After, she met the man she thought would be her future, and he ripped her heart apart like it hadn’t been fragile to begin with. Sadness was simply a part of (Y/N)’s existence, but she didn’t think there was more she could take.

(Y/N) prayed quietly. She prayed harder than she ever had before in her life. She didn’t know to what exactly, but she prayed.

And yet, the universe rarely played things out in the way she wanted.

The young woman was on her way to greet Billy Black and Charlie Swan when a loud ringing alarm called her attention. It was the soundtrack of despair, the theme song of disappointment, and the last thing (Y/N) wanted to hear. Her legs started moving before she could think twice, setting off for Harry’s room. There, the flatlining sound filled her ears, mixed with Sue’s pleas for help as nurses pulled her aside to allow the doctors to work.

“The patient’s coding, Uley,” Eden called out. “Start compressions. This is your call.”

(Y/N) was already on Harry before Mollins had finished his sentence. Her full attention was on her counts, pressing on his chest like she had been taught to do. One, two, three, four, all the way to thirty before the nurse administered air pumps. Then again, and again.

“Push one milligram of epi,” (Y/N) called out, not stopping her compressions for another three minutes. “Check rhythm.” 

As she removed her hands, the screen showed a red line once more, and that pesky sound filled the room again. “Still asystole,” Eden said. “Push another milligram and clear for defib.” 

(Y/N) continued her work as sweat formed on her forehead. She pushed into the man’s chest at a steady pace, even when she felt her limbs wanted to give out. Her legs trembled under her, and her heart hammered loudly against her chest, but she couldn’t stop. Even after two defibrillations that yielded no results, the girl kept administering compressions.

“Uley, it’s time to call it,” Mollins whispered softly at the young doctor. “It’s been over thirty minutes.” 

“No!” (Y/N) exclaimed. Beads of sweat were falling down her face and mixing with her tears, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop. Not for Harry. “I’ve gotta keep going!” 

“(Y/N),” Eden called her, taking hold of her wrists and forcing her gaze to break from the man. “It’s time to call it.”

“I can’t,” she trembled as she fell onto the doctor. “He can’t…” 

But the consistent sound of a flatline killed her words. That was it. Her first patient was gone, and it was someone she had looked up to like a father. Despite all of her efforts, he was gone, and there was nothing else she could do about it.

“Time of death: 1542,” the doctor called to the nurse before turning back to the crumbling girl. “You did everything you could, (Y/N). You did everything right.”

“But he’s gone,” she cried. “He’s gone, and I could’ve done more.”

“No. There was nothing at all that you could have done,” Eden said. "Unfortunately, this is part of the job. We can’t save them all, (Y/N), but you absolutely did everything you could have.” 

“I know I can’t save them all, but I needed to save him.” 

“Tell you what, I’m gonna break the news to the family right now,” the young man said. “You’re gonna take a second to compose yourself before you go out there, and I want you to take the rest of the day off to rest.” 

“I shouldn’t…” 

“I know that it’s unconventional, and most doctors would have said that you needed to get used to it,” he added. “But you need this, (Y/N). This case is too personal, and I know it’s gonna take a toll on you.” 

“Okay,” she whimpered. “Thank you, Dr. Mollins.” 

“I already told you, (Y/N). When we’re off a case, it’s Eden.” 

The moment Eden left the room, the silence that filled it was worse than the beeping and the alarms. It was eerie and loaded, and it made (Y/N) feel like it would swallow her at any moment.

Yet, the only other presence there was Harry. His face was covered with a white sheet, shielding his body from everyone. And for that, she was thankful. (Y/N) couldn’t look at his face. She knew her mind would trick her into thinking that he was merely sleeping and that at any moment, he would wake up and say the most unfunny joke she had heard of, but she would have laughed anyway because it would have meant that he was alive.

“I’m so sorry, Harry,” she whispered to him. “I tried so hard. I hope you know that.”

“He does, honey.” Sue’s voice startled her. Tears stained the woman’s face, but her desperation was gone. She wrapped her arms around the younger girl, smoothing down her hair in a comforting manner. “He knows how hard you fought for him, (Y/N). It was just his time.”

“He was fine just last week,” she sobbed. “I can’t believe he’s just gone now.”

“As long as he is in our memories, he will never truly be gone,” the woman smiled sadly. “But he is with our spirits now, reunited with his ancestors.”

“Harry will never be forgotten that I can promise you, Sue.”

“He really loved you, (Y/N),” Sue mentioned. “He was always so amazed by everything that you were doing. He loved to boast about how far he knew you’d go to literally anyone who would listen. Deep down, he wanted Leah and Sam to work out so we’d be officially family.”

“I’m really gonna miss him, Sue. I wish I had spent more time with him these last few years. And now…”

“Oh, honey, no. Don’t do that,” the woman comforted. “Harry knew how busy you are, how busy you’ve always been. He was just so happy to know you were doing something you loved.”

“May his soul rest easy now,” the girl whimpered before placing a hand on Harry’s. “Until we meet again, Harry.”

(Y/N) excused herself from the room, allowing Sue to have one last moment with Harry. Outside, she acknowledged Charlie and Billy, giving them a sad smile before she disappeared into the doctor’s locker rooms. She couldn’t face another person who was close to Harry, not when she could still feel the beat of his heart under her hands.

Inside the locker room, she allowed herself to break down. She crumpled to the floor, clutching at her chest as every emotion came barreling down on her. There was pain and turmoil, anger and disappointment. But most of all, it was the harrowing sadness that she had been carrying since she was a little girl that draped itself over her, swallowing her completely and dragging her into the darkness.

Until a voice pulled her out. “Hey, hey, Uley,” Eden called as he kneeled in front of her. “Come on, you need to breathe. Take a deep breath.”

“I-I-I c-can’t,” she stammered. Her breath got trapped in her chest, tightening her lungs and making them burn for oxygen.

“Yes, you can. Come on,” he encouraged. “Match my breaths, okay? Come on, in and out.”

Eden took deep breaths, exhaling after holding them for five seconds. His hands found hers, forcing her gaze to snap to his. He continued the breathing exercises until she was finally able to match his pace. Her body stopped shaking, and feeling started returning to her limbs as her sobs quieted down. As weakness took over her, (Y/N) crashed onto Eden’s chest, allowing him to wrap her in a warm and comforting hug.

It was an unexpected embrace that she was more than thankful for. Eden had come to the hospital three months after Carlisle had left to fill the hole left in the emergency department. When (Y/N) had entered and started her clinical rotations, he had been tasked with being her teacher in emergency medicine.  

He had not taken to her quickly. From her work as a medical assistant, he had said she was far too young and too inexperienced to be in the hospital. Though he had eaten his words in a short amount of time, he still seemed to hold some sort of disdain for her. At least, that’s what she had thought until that very moment.

“Hey, there you go,” he cooed. “Just keep breathing, okay?”

“Gods,” (Y/N) croaked out. “I’m sorry. I know I should be okay with death, but this…”

“You don’t have to apologize, (Y/N). Never apologize for the emotions you’re feeling,” Eden reassured. “Especially not after losing someone close to you. That is something no one could ever fault you for.”

“Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?” the girl blurted. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, but it’s not a secret that you don’t really like me.”

“Why would you think that?” she asked, his tone hinting at being slightly offended. “I don’t think I’ve given any indication of that.”

“Come on, Eden. You’re always giving me dirty looks and have gotten mad at me at any turn this whole week. It’s not hard to decipher that you don’t really enjoy my presence at the hospital.”

“Oh god, no. That has nothing to do with you—at least not directly,” he quickly assured. "I think you’re a brilliant doctor, and I’m honestly so impressed that you’re here at your age. My attitude has more to do with the fact that my parents saw you working here a week after I finally got here, and they were on me because I could have been like you.”

“What, a terrified nineteen-year-old playing at being a doctor?”

“Christ, I didn’t think you’d heard that,” he grimaced. “That came from a really childish place. It’s just that my parents have always pushed me to be the best, much to my detriment. I had the ability to jump a few grades or do dual enrollment like you did, but I wanted the whole high school experience. So, even if I graduated at sixteen and finished my bachelor's in three years, I could have always done better. So, here I am at twenty-five and already an attending, but in comes a nineteen-year-old med student who somehow was able to skip two whole years of med school and had an almost perfect Step 1 score, and suddenly my achievements aren’t good enough anymore. I’m sorry I ever said that. I mean, I’m a grown-ass man caring what my parents think.”

“Don’t worry,” she smiled softly. “It just made me want to prove myself even more. I’m kind of used to people underestimating me.”

“Yeah, I quickly learned I shouldn’t have,” he chuckled. “You’re a great doctor, (Y/N), and a great person.”

“Well, thank you,” she beamed. "It honestly means a lot coming from you, especially now.”

“I can promise that was the first and last time I ever underestimate you,” Eden smiled brightly.  “Now, you should go home. Your brother just came back.”

“Came back?”

“He arrived when you were down at the CT scan, but he left for an emergency,” the man responded. “He just came back a minute after you left the room.”

At the word emergency, (Y/N) jumped to her feet and ran toward the emergency room, new tears forming in the corners of her eyes. It was a word that held too much weight even before the entire picture was shown. After that morning, the girl could only expect the worst.

Her limbs carried her automatically, her brain not registering where she was going until she crashed into someone. “Is someone else hurt?” she managed to croak out. “Tell me what happened, Sam.”

“Hey, breathe, (Y/N),” her brother instructed as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. “No one’s hurt. Okay? It was just an accident.”

“That still doesn’t make things clearer. What accident?”

“Bella sort of jumped or slipped off a high cliff while we were running Victoria all the way up to the Canadian border,” he said. “I had been here for no more than ten minutes when Jared called me and said that Jake had gotten there just in time. She’s fine now. A bit shaken up and cold, but she’s at Billy’s house resting. You don’t have to worry, (Y/N). It’s been handled.”

“So, she almost drowned, and all she’s doing is sleeping it off?” (Y/N) exclaimed. “Why didn’t you bring her here? She needs to be checked out!”

“(Y/N), I need you to calm down, okay? She chose not to come, and you shouldn’t be worrying about this. You should be going home and resting, too.”

“But she’s…”

“You’re in no headspace to worry about other people, Bean,” Sam cooed as he smoothed down his sister’s hair. “Go home, kid. Rest up. We’ve got things from here.”

“But…”

“Go home, (Y/N),” Sue interjected, a kind smile softly stretching her face. “All that’s left here is legal mumbo jumbo. You’ve done everything you possibly can.”

“I just feel like I need to help in some way. Either here or with Bella. I just…”

“You can’t help anyone if you don’t take care of yourself, Bean,” her brother interrupted. “I promise we’ve got everything handled here, kid.”

After much insistence and a lot of back-and-forth, (Y/N) finally agreed to take her afternoon off and head back home. But loneliness was quick to follow as soon as she was by herself. It sank its claws into her throat and started a never-ending stream of tears that stained her cheeks. Helplessness gripped her chest, nagging at her mind and reminding her of all the things she couldn’t do.

Before she knew it, the afternoon had slowly shifted into night, and (Y/N)’s eyes had fluttered shut in the hospital parking lot. Now, with less weight in her heart and a tight knot in her neck, she sputtered her truck to life and started her trip back home, where she would most likely repeat the same process all over again.

When she got there, the house was eerily quiet, and the cold seeped into her bones as though winter was still scratching its way to the surface. But she knew why it felt that way, and she knew it would be like that for a long time.

Other than Sue, (Y/N) couldn’t get Seth and Leah out of her head. Not only had they been sprung into the supernatural world in such a dramatic way, but they had also lost their father and had not been able to say goodbye. She wondered if they were scared or angry, if a part of them felt guilty. She knew she did, and she couldn’t imagine how heavy it had to weigh on their own hearts and minds.

She was typing their house number when her house phone suddenly rang in her hand, startling her. “Hello?” she said through the phone.

“(Y/N), hi, it’s uh, Bella,” the Swan girl stammered in her usual fashion. “I heard about… I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks, Bella,” she smiled sadly, swallowing down the knot that threatened to close her throat. “Are you okay? Sam told me what happened this morning.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. It was just a horrible accident,” Bella answered quickly. “But I’m fine now. I was actually calling about something else.”

“Oh. Uh, what is it?” 

“Do you think you could come over right after the funeral?”

“To your house?” (Y/N) questioned. “Why?”

“I think there’s someone you should see.” 

Next ->

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[enluv]

love spill !

PAIRING! - rockstar!jay (enha) x fem!reader

wc: 1.3k+

warnings: angst-ish but not really + fluff later !!, reader is stressed/exhausted, profanity, slow burn(?)

coco’s ♡ note: this came from a mini game I answered once and literally could not get over because I need rockstar bf jay so badly, I might make more with this jay too so let me know if you like it or have any rockstar!bf jay thoughts because I will indulge and write them !!! literally adore this jay so much ahhhh!!!

Finally.

Finally some piece and quiet away from the shared apartment you live in with the three younger boys.

Perhaps living with your younger brother and his university friends wasn’t the best idea, especially when you had a ten page journalism report due by three pm the next day.

That’s why you find yourself here on a hot summers day sitting in your favorite cafe, it’s not busy on Fridays and is hidden enough so the boys won’t find you for a while, but they will come looking eventually.

The bell of the cafes door rings to signify it being opened but this report is due tomorrow and you can’t stop to look up, but maybe you should have. Maybe you should have because now as you watch the hot brown liquid seep into your laptops keyboard you become painfully aware of the boy in front of you who’d walked in early wearing the most guilt ridden expression. His words muffled as you watch your screen go black.

“Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m so sorry. Wait here let me get something to clean this up.” He’s fumbling with the other drinks in his hand as he tries to reach for napkins to clean the spill he’s made.

Where else would you go really? Right now you’re just waiting for the ground to swallow you whole. Had the program even saved the other three pages you’d written? Was your hard work gone just like that? Would your professor even believe you if you told him what happened? Even if it sounded straight out of a movie?

“Just leave it, I’ll clean it myself. Please leave.”

He stills at your words, no malice or emotions within them just exhaustion. The tone of your voice makes his heart ache, and he swears to himself that he’s going to make up for this for the rest of his life.

“I’m sorry for this really, I need to leave because I have a schedule to get to but I promise I’ll make this up to you. Can I have your number?”

Your stare makes him feel small, then he realizes how his question sounds after a minute passes between you two.

“Wait I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not asking you out. Not saying I wouldn’t ask you out but I’m not doing that right now! I just need it so I can text you to pay you back, or I can pay to get your laptop fixed. I’ll send you the money or even if you want buy you a new one.”

Jay can’t tell what you’re thinking but somehow he’s walking out of the cafe with your phone number and an assortment of drinks for his members. Dreading having to explain to them just what happened in the cafe.

unknown (2:46pm):

uh hey this is jay, I’m the one who dropped my coffee on your laptop, really sorry about that by the way!! um i want to give you these so I can say sorry again in person because my mom always said to apologize face to face or you don’t mean it and also that way we can figure out the laptop money thing together.

unknown (2:47pm):

four attachments sent

just stop by tomorrow and have some fun and then after I’ll come find you and we can talk!! what’s your name by the way?

you (3:12pm):

it’s y/n. thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow.

“I cannot believe some random dude gave you tickets to see downfall, like this show has been sold out for months and I mean months, talking eight months and he just gave up four tickets to see them? He must be loaded! Tell him you want a new computer and game console, I want the newest version.”

Jungwon’s excited rambles bring a smile to your face, sure just yesterday you’d cried almost all the water out your body until Jungwon had called your professor and explained in detail (along with sticking the phone in your room so he could hear your cries) the situation, but he’d also somehow gotten you an extension on your paper for the next week. He seriously deserved the random concert tickets the stranger, Jay, had sent you.

Receiving them was odd but he’d convinced you with the promise of fixing your laptop and that’s honestly all that mattered, so if you had to sit through a three hour long show next to some stranger who spilled coffee on your laptop then so be it because you’d be getting it fixed no matter what.

Except instead of said random stranger sitting next to you, an actual random stranger stood beside you excitedly yapping with her friends and the random stranger you had expected was perched on stage with a guitar in hand, microphone stationed in front of him like it belonged to him, and soon enough you’d realize from the crowds hollers that it did belong to him.

“ARE YOU READY FOR TONIGHT?” He’s met with screams all around the arena.

“That’s what I like to hear, alright let’s go.”

The shock of who Jay was really didn’t cease even after the show had ended and the four of you began to walk out the packed venue, it doesn’t really go away until a large man comes to escort you backstage.

“Hey buddy I think you have the wrong people, we’re just here still because my sisters waiting for someone.” Jungwon’s voice breaks you out of your shock and the man nods as if he knew what he was going to say.

“Yeah he’s backstage, just follow me.”

Jay fidgets with the bag he has in his hands, earlier he’d dragged the boys along with him to pick you out a new laptop and even threw in a new case and holder for it. He really wanted to get the image of your exhausted eyes out of his mind, he wanted to see you happy and healthy.

“Y/N you didn’t tell us the guy who spilled coffee on you was one of the members of downfall,” the voice he hears is failing to whisper as you get closer.

“Are we about to meet one of the members? What if it’s just like a staff or something like why would an actual member be getting their coffee and oh my god that’s the lead singer Jay.”

He laughs shyly at the boy who’s mouth is now wide open pointing excitedly at him, but he quickly shuts up as he spots you. You look so pretty, completely different from when he’d last saw you drenched in coffee and exhaustion all over your face. Right now you looked content and really really pretty.

“Hey Y/N, I know I said I’d give you the money to fix your laptop but I thought you should just have a completely brand new one, I’m really sorry for spilling my coffee on yours, I’m sure you were busy and needed it, I hope you can use this new one well,” his breath hitches as he holds out the bag to you and your fingers touch briefly, “and I hope you liked the show, I see your friends did.” He sends a wave their way and laughs when they all excitedly wave back.

A smile begins to develop on your cheeks and his heart races. This is exactly how he’d like to see you, happy and smiling.

Later that night as you pull out the new laptop determined to finish your nearly complete paper, a small card flutters out with it that reads —

“I wrote this to say not only sorry again, but to also ask if you’d like to go out with me sometime? and I mean it this time, as in I am actually asking you out unlike last time when I, you know accidentally asked you out unintentionally, this time I promise it’s intentional. Please let me make up the god awful first meeting we had, I promise it’ll be worthwhile. You have my number so if you want to then just shoot me a text but if not then that’s fine with me too! – Jay”

A smile forms on your face as you set down the card and get to working on your essay, the answer to Jay’s proposition already clear in your mind. Yes.

coco’s love note: i am so terribly down bad for jay it’s crazy. he’s so just perfect like I adore him so much!! and I’m the biggest rockstar!jay enthusiast like I just had to write something about it, plus I think it’s so adorable how he’s clumsy in this fic but a crazy rager on stage & only mc gets to see both sides of him fully! I hope you enjoyed this fic! As always, feedback & reblogs are appreciated! Thank you for reading <3

enhypen taglist?! @en-fvr @bloom-bloom-pow @nikis-mum @yourlocalhotgf @kyublr @spoooooooooooon @enhacolor @yoongimooni @blaqpinksthectic @gyuuss @eternallyhyucks @dinosdance @simpforsung @misschubswrites @junityy @jjunry @jwonsgirl @fxckingshame @stealanity @haoreo @jxp1t-3r @chaerybae @bobariki @vatterie (bold can’t be tagged!) Wanna be added to the taglist? – Check out THIS post!

[m4ttsturn]

my brother's best friend (part 2)

Pt 1 Pt 3 Pt 4

pairing: Matt Sturniolo x y/n

summary: you find yourself falling for your brother's best friend

warnings: swearing, mentions of losing virginity

a/n: the first part is just the first day you met Matt, so you really don't have to read it. hope you enjoy (not proofread)

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

(now)

"hey," Nate knocks on my door, "we're all going to the beach, you wanna come?" "sure, who all is going?" I ask him "it's Me, Nick, Matt, Chris, and you can invite a couple of your friends if you want" he responds. "ok, just give me like 25 minutes and we can head out" he nods and leaves the room.

I get up and call my friend Quinn, telling her to meet me at the beach. After I get off the phone I put on my bikini and a set of clothes over it. In a bag I pack a towel, sunscreen, my hairbrush, sunglasses, and a claw clip. I slip on a pair of tennis shoes and leave my bedroom.

"Nate I'm ready to go" he gets up from the couch and grabs his keys off the table. "alright, let's go". I hop into the passenger seat of his car, plugging my phone into the aux. we chat lightly, music filling whatever silence there may be as we make our way to the beach.

Once we arrive the triplets are already there, walking up to Nate's car. "dude what took you so long?" Matt questions. "sorry man I had to wait on y/n to get ready", they all turn to me and I just shrug. they all make their way down to the beach, caught up in their own conversation. Nick turns around once he realizes that I'm not following. "Yo y/n, you comin'?" "I'll meet you guys down there, I'm waiting on Quinn" he nods, giving me a small wave goodbye before turning back around and catching up to the others.

it takes about 5 minutes for Quinn to get here, she walks over to me and we start making our way to the beach. once we get there we lay our towels down on the sand next to where the boys set their stuff, and take off our cover clothing. my eyes find Matt, watching as he takes off his shirt, the sun perfectly illuminating his skin. my heart flutters.

"y/n, are you even listening to me" Quinn asks. I turn my head to hers, snapping out of the moment. "uh- what, sorry" "I was saying that its crazy you're 18 and still haven't lost your virginity" my face flushes at her comment "I know, I know, I just haven't been interested in anyone really" "the only reason you're not interested in anybody is because you've had a crush on Matt since like 7th grade" she practically screams. "Quinn!" I push her gently "keep your voice down" I look at her, and then look to Matt, only to find him already staring at me.

"fuck, I think he heard you" I speak, "no way he did, he's literally 20ft away from us" she sighs "look all I'm saying is if your so hung up on him, just ask him to take it. He's been with girls before, so you know he has experience, and he's hot". I whip my head towards her as she's speaking. I think for a moment then I shake my head, "Quinn, you know I can't do that, he's one of Nate's best friends" I say defeated.

our conversation changes, bouncing from topic to topic as the hours pass by. we continue to lay on our towels, the warm sun tanning our skin. the feeling calms me, lulling me to sleep. When I'm woken up, Matt's running towards the water with me in his arms. "Matt what the fuck, put me down" I scream at him. "if you say so" he smiles before dropping me into the water. "this is so uncool" I try to be mad at him but I just end up laughing, he laughs with me.

not long after, something grazes my leg "something just touched me!" I jump onto Matt, attempting to get away from it. "chill out y/n, it's just seaweed" he laughs. once I realize that I'm not in any danger, I take in my sudden closeness to Matt. my legs are around his waist, and my arms are wrapped tightly over his shoulders. I blush at the feeling of our bodies pressed together, I look into Matt's eyes, glancing down at his lips quickly before looking back up.

Matt also seems to notice how close we are and he stops laughing. he looks down at me, licking his lips, before looking over my shoulder. Nate is standing a few feet away from us with his back turned. he sets me down gently before turning away and running his hand down his face.

"sorry, I probably shouldn't have jumped on you like that, I was just scared" I attempt to apologize, wanting to get rid of the tension that's now formed between us. "it's alright, wouldn't want anything happening to Nate's little sister." he gives me a half-smile.

his words hit me like a slap to the face, reminding me that I shouldn't have feelings towards one of Nate's best friends. "uh, I'm gonna go grab some snacks, you want any?" I ask, trying to rid myself of the pit that's begun to form in my stomach. Matt shakes his head. I nod, turning to get out of the water. once I make it to the sand, I glance back at Matt, only to see him watching me. he seems to snap out of it, shaking his head to himself as he walks over to Nate and his brothers.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

a/n: I'm not sure how I feel about this part tbh

[metallicaislife]

Been Hiding in Plain Sight

A/N: Thank you for the request! I was literally thinking my next fic should be a fluffy friends to lovers with James and then I got this request. 🥰

Requested by: @dyersseve

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,709

Warnings: none

I was numb. I hadn’t cried and I wouldn’t allow myself to. I found a pay phone and put the change in, dialing the number to the only person I knew I could rely on. 

“Cliff, I’m sorry man, but if you forgot one more thing it belongs to the house now.” His voice came over the phone. 

“James, it’s me, not Cliff.” I said, my tone was even. 

“Oh, Y/N, what’s up?” He asked, I swear I could hear the grin in his voice. 

“I’m sorry to bother you, but can I come over?” I asked. 

“Y/N. How many times do I have to tell you? You have never been nor will you ever be a burden to me.” He scolded. I clenched my jaw and did my best to keep the tears at bay. 

“I know.” I stated. 

“Good. Do you need a ride?” He asked. I paused for a second to calculate how far I was from his house.

“No, I’ll be there soon.” I replied softly.

“Okay, see you in a bit.” He said and I hung up the pay phone. 

I took a deep breath and made my way to the house James lived in with 2 out the 3 members of his band Metallica. 

I met James in high school, it was after his mother passed away and he moved in with his half brother. He stood out with his long hair and taste in music. Not in a bad way, I loved it. We shared a class and bonded immediately. Things weren’t always great in my home life either, so we often met up and listened to music, talking, laughing, crying. James is my person, there isn’t anyone who knows me better than him. Because he’s so important, I never let myself have feelings for him, or at least I did my best to push them down. If something were to go wrong… I could handle losing anyone, but not him, not James. In fact when he moved to the San Francisco area to recruit Cliff Burton into his band, he begged me to come with him. I did, I mean I don’t live with him, I have my own place and my own life, but it is definitely somewhat centered around him. 

I finally found myself on James' porch. 

Before I could knock the door flung open. 

James had a huge grin on his face, I attempted to match his grin, but based on the way his face fell it must have been more akin to a grimace. 

“Are you okay?” He asked with a look of concern on his face.

Shit. Here comes the water works. I could no longer hold them back as they cascaded down my cheeks like a waterfall. All I could do was shake my head and he herded me inside, wrapping his arms tightly around me. 

“What’s going on?” I could hear Kirk ask. 

“Oh shit, she’s crying.” Lars mumbled. 

“If you aren’t going to help then leave.” James hissed at the two. 

“Sorry.” Kirk said as he and Lars scattered. 

“What happened?” James asked as he rubbed my back. I continued to cry and he just held me until I calmed down enough. He pulled back slightly, bending down to meet my eyes. I hiccuped. “What happened?” He asked again. 

“Tom broke up with me. He, uh, picked me up for a date and then he told me that he met someone else more compatible with him.” I explained. I watched a fire light within James' eyes. He looked pissed. 

“I’m going to find him and-“ 

“James, please. He’s not worth it.” I interrupted him, my voice sounding a little croaky. James' face immediately softened. 

“Of course, I’m sorry.” He immediately apologized. 

“It’s okay, your intentions are in the right place.” I said, “could I take a shower?” I asked. 

“Yeah absolutely. I’ll get you some clothes to change into.” He said. He ushered me to the bathroom, I waited and he showed up with a T-shirt and a pair of boxers. 

“Take your time, I’ll order some take out and we can just chill out, okay?” He smiled at me. I took the clothes as tears pricked my eyes again, he chuckled and wiped my tears. “It’s okay, Y/N. Go shower.” He said. I nodded and shut the door. 

I turned on the water so it could warm up and stripped before stepping in. I stood under the warm stream for a few minutes before looking through the different soaps and shampoos, finding James’ and washed up. 

I stepped out and dried myself, I brought his shirt to my nose. The smell is so comforting. I got dressed and brushed my hair. I gathered my things and placed them in the room James shared with Lars. I walked into the living room, James just finished setting out my favorite take out with some drinks scattered on the coffee table. 

“Feeling better?” He asked and I nodded. “Sit down, I just have to pop the movie in.” He said. I sat on the couch as he put a VHS into the player. He grabbed a plate and handed it to me. We filled our plates and tears entered my eyes again as my favorite movie started playing. I always knew James knew me well, and he’s been there for me many times before, but for some reason this time, the food, the movie, the scent. All of it was overwhelmingly comforting.

“I’m sorry I can’t help it.” I blubbered. 

James tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. 

“It’s okay.” He replied. We ate until we couldn’t shove another bite in our mouths. I wasn’t sure when it happened but I found myself tucked comfortably into his side. This felt nice, he felt like home. 

Over the next couple weeks, James and I grew closer than ever before. If I wasn’t at work I was attending some band practices. Going to Metallica shows. Taking turns having sleepovers at the Metallimansion and my apartment. I also grew closer with his band mates solidifying my spot as Metallica’s mascot. 

James and I had plans to hang out at his place tonight. So when I got off work I went straight there. I entered and removed my shoes and put my things in James' room. 

“In the kitchen.” He called out. 

I entered the kitchen and he was at the stove stirring something in a pot. 

“Whatcha making?” I asked, leaning against the counter. 

“Nothing fancy, just spaghetti.” He answered, “how was your day?” He asked. 

“It was good, work went smoothly. How was yours?” I asked. 

“It went well.” He replied. 

We continued to chat as I helped him set the table. 

“Only us two, you don’t need to set out the other plates.” James said. I raised my eyebrow. 

“Where are the guys?” I asked, James shrugged and pulled out my chair. I sat and he pushed it in then sat across from me. He motioned for me to start serving myself and I did. 

“Thank you, James. I really appreciate it.” I smiled. 

“You’re welcome.” He smiled back. 

We ate and chatted comfortably. When we were done, I helped him clean up and do dishes. James washed as I dried and put them away.

As he handed me a plate our hands brushed against one another and my cheeks heated up. 

Despite all the years of convincing myself I didn’t like James, that I could never like James. Over the past few weeks I couldn’t help falling deeply in love with my best friend, and it isn’t just a rebound from Tom breaking up with me. 

We finished cleaning up and went to the living room. I went to sit down, but James stopped me. 

“I need to tell you this before I chicken out.” He began, “when I moved in with my brother I was lost and angry and nobody at school was kind or accepting, except for you. You welcomed me with open arms and became my best friend. You willingly followed me to San Francisco all because I couldn’t imagine living in a different city than you, the thought of us ever growing apart makes my insides feel hollow. For the longest time I thought it was because you were just my best friend, but I’ve realized I have feelings for you, and I’m taking a risk, but if you don’t feel the same we can just pretend I didn’t say anything because I can’t live a life without you, unless that makes you uncomfortable-“ I moved forward grabbing his face in my hands kissing him fiercely. He made a small noise in his throat, it was a sound of surprise before he melted into the kiss bringing me closer to him by my hips. 

We continued to kiss a while longer before we pulled back, breathless and with swollen lips. 

“I really like you, James.” I told him. 

“Really?” He asked, a small blush tinted his cheeks. 

“Yeah.” I smiled at him. He had a goofy grin on his face. 

“Good, because like I said, I really like you too.” He leaned in and kissed me again. 

A few months later.

I sat on the couch with James, we were at his house, the band was still working on some new songs for their new album. They were showing their manager before they traveled to Denmark to record.

“It’s crazy, like I thought those two were in sync before as best friends… no as a couple, it’s like they can read each other's minds. I swear if they don’t get married, the earth is off its axis.” 

I blushed as I overheard Cliff talking to the band's manager. 

James had his arm around my shoulder, and my hand was up to meet his as our fingers interlocked. He was deep in conversation with Lars about a new song, I doubt he heard what Cliff had said. 

It warmed my heart though, to see others around us recognize the love we had for each other. I don’t know if I believe in soulmates, but if I did, I’d have to say with certainty, James is my other half.

Thank you for reading! Feel free to request or chat :)

-Isa

[bordysbae]

“accidents”

luke hughes x fem!reader

word count: 1.4k

you've been best friends with luke for genuinely as long as you could remember. your moms grew up together, and happened to have kids around the same age. your older brother being in between quinn and jack, and you and luke being the same age. since you and luke are so close, everyone always assumes you two are dating, and honestly sometimes you guys act like it, but you’re both always quick to state that you're just best friends.

currently, you're staying at the hughes' lake house. every summer both of your families stay for a month at the lake house, which is something everyone looks forward to. the lake house has nothing but the purest and happiest memories in it, and it's a second home to you.

"y/n go shower you take 20 years to get ready and we wanna leave soon" jack says as he looks up at you from across the living room. "yeah literally, go!" quinn says as he smacks your arm, pushing you off of the couch playfully

"yeah fine whatever, you're both so annoying" you roll your eyes at them as you head upstairs to the bathroom. you start selecting music on your phone as you wait for the shower to heat up. as you finish making the queue, you see the glass doors become foggy, which is your sign to get in. you're peacefully taking a shower, when all of a sudden you see the white door begin to open, and when your eyes are met with the face of luke hughes, you shriek.

"OH MY GOD LUKE!" you scream, immediately covering your body as he quickly closes the door.

"holy shit!" he says with his hand still on the door knob. you quickly finish up your shower and hurry out of the bathroom. as you're walking to your bedroom, which originally was an office/spare bedroom that quickly became yours over the years, you pass by lukes room. which is right across from yours. you see him laying on his bed, and you softly knock on the door frame. he looks up from his phone, and his cheeks go bright red. "you can uh— you can use the bathroom now" you say awkwardly as you quickly turn around and beeline it straight to your room.

you soon finish your makeup and hair, and quinn starts yelling at you to hurry up as you’re putting on your shoes. "quinn i'm seriously gonna smack you if you keep rushing me, i'm literally putting on my shoes right now"

"please smack him, i'd pay to see that" your brother chimes in, earning a playful tackle from quinn. you stand up from the chair, and adjust the tongue of your shoes. you walk into the kitchen to tell the adults that you're ready, and you accidentally make eye contact with luke. his eyes immediately dart away from yours. never before have things with luke ever been this awkward, but you hate it.

"um? that was weird why are they not talking?" you hear your brother whisper to jack and quinn. "no clue man" quinn whispers back. "that was.. something" jack replies in a whisper like tone. you sigh softly and inform everyone that you're ready to leave.

—

you guys all go out for lunch, and usually whenever you're at this restaurant you and luke order the same thing every time, and end up switching plates halfway through the meal. you always order a sandwich, and luke always gets the pizza. it had become a ritual to swap plates, but this time you guys were on opposite sides of the table instead of next to each other.

you know that everyone is confused on what  happened with you two, since you're receiving weird looks from everyone, even the parents. those weird looks are from everyone but luke, he won't look at you. and if he does look at you its for half a second before he looks back down at the ground.

you hate this feeling more than anything. you and luke have gotten in fights before, but at least you knew his emotions during those times. right now, you have no idea how he feels and it's eating you alive. after what felt like a million years, everyone is finally finished and ready to go back to the house. as you're rising up from the table, your mom whispers in your ear.

"are you and luke okay?" "i don't know mom. i hate this" you sigh. "come in the car with me and ellen, we'll force all of the boys to fit in jim's car.” you chuckle, "okay"

you all get situated in the cars, and you're with ellen and your mom. "so honey, what happened?" ellen asks, as she looks at you through the rear-view mirror. "god, it's so embarrassing" you say as your cheeks get really hot from the memory.

"just tell us, we're woman we understand" ellen smiles. “well, luke walked in on me in the shower today. i have no idea what he saw, but we haven't talked since."

"oh my" your mom says, holding back a laugh. “oh lord that is not what i was expecting. okay well, he's probably a little overwhelmed. especially since it's you, y/n. you're his best friend. he probably feels like he just violated you. i think you guys need to talk, because this isn’t something that you guys should lose a friendship over" ellen says

"i agree, luke's a teenage boy. he's probably pissing his pants just thinking about it. you should talk to him, let him know that's it's okay" your mom says. "ugh you guys are the best, i'll talk to him when we get home" you smile softly

—

you guys all get home at the same time, and you decide now is the perfect time to talk with luke. he’s cleaning his room, while the other boys are playing chel. you knock on his door frame to let him know you’re there, and he turns around and gets bright red when he sees you. "oh, uh- uh, hey y/n" he stutters

"can i come in?" you say quietly. "yeah of course, come sit" he says, sitting down on the edge of his bed, patting the spot next to him.

"luke, about earlier i-" "i'm sorry" you both say at the same time

"why are you sorry?" he asks you. "i don't know, i just am" you shrug. "i'm really sorry. i thought jack was in the shower, and i was just gonna grab my deodorant off of the counter, but it uh- it wasn't jack. i knocked and asked if i could come in, and i heard music that sounded like jacks playlist so i thought it was him" he says quickly, defending himself

"luke relax it's alright, but i do have one question. did you um- see anything?" you say scratching the back of your neck. "no i didn't, i closed my eyes as soon as i opened the door" he lied. he definitely saw something, but he didn't want to make you feel anymore embarrassed than you already were, he felt bad enough as is.

"oh alright good." there's a strange silence between you both, which is broken when luke impulsively blurts out, “y/n i like you, a lot. i've liked you since like 8th grade, and i just really need to know if you feel the same"

"oh luke of course i do." you say, with a blush creeping on your cheeks. "you do?" he says, finally looking up at you, with a beaming smile. "yeah, i've liked you for awhile now" you say, looking into his eyes. and before you know it your lips are on his, and your heart feels like it's sparking.

"so what does this make us?" you ask quietly pulling away from the kiss. "my girlfriend?" he asks you. "absolutely" you smirk

"okay now that that's out of the way, i did see something earlier i just didn't want to tell you" he blurted, causing your mouth to fall agape. "i mean, that's not really how i expected it to happen" he chuckles

"woah woah woah, you've imagined how you were gonna see me naked for the first time? you are SO weird luke" you say smacking his chest playfully. "shut up, you know you've imagined me naked before"

you couldn't lie, you had.

"exactly, stay silent." "oh shut up you horn dog, now let's go play chel" you say taking his hand leading him downstairs

[kitthepurplepotato]

Shenanigans EXTRA (2/2) - Drum Contest! (THE END)

Summary: Katsuki has been struggling to propose to Y/N for months now. He comes up with a silly idea.

Shouto meets his long lost brother.

Warnings: Swear words. A lot of mentions of the naughty, but only in passing. Mentions of ding dongs. No actual smut though. 16+

Helpful note:

To make it easier I tried to play around with names to make it obvious who's who, so...

Izuku - Normal Izuku

Deku, Midoriya - Other world's Izuku

Katsuki - Normal Katsuki

Bakugou - Other world's Katsuki

I hope that helps!

First Chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

After a few minutes of silence the team finally calms down enough to actually start a proper conversation. Deku and Todoroki is sprawled out on the bed with Izuku and Shouto sitting on the edges, talking about hero life and Izuku’s battle scars.

You and your other self, together with the two Katsukis are sitting on the floor in one of the corners with your backs resting on the wall.

“So was it hard to find me in this universe?” You ask Bakugou, who looks away sheepishly with a slight blush on his face.

“Well… I had to work my ass off for months to have enough money and freedom to leave for a few weeks but funnily enough, I literally bumped into her in my first day. Then… it just happened. I barely had to do anything. It really felt like it was meant to be. Fucking freaky.”

“Yeah.” Your other self speaks up. “My friends thought I’m bonkers for meeting this random guy from another country every day to study together. But I just…couldn’t get enough of him.” She cuddles into Bakugou and you can’t hide the smile on your face as you look at the two lovesick idiots. They are so different from you two yet so similar at the same time; the love is just as deep but in a different kind of display. Their love is pure and romantic, a relationship full of hope and dreams while yours is more mature, more realistic yet just as bright, just as strong, if not stronger.

“Being in a long distance relationship really sucked.” Bakugou admits.

“Tell me about it!” Deku yells from the bed. “I was so done with waking up to you two having phone sex almost every single day!”

“Oh, shut up, we didn’t…” Bakugou is about to retort, but your other self laughs.

“No, we… did that quite a lot.”

“I knew it!” Apparently, Deku is more than happy to finally get a closure after wondering about all the weird noises coming from his best friend’s room.

“I’ve never done that.” Katsuki mutters next to you, looking offended like it’s your fucking fault.

“We literally moved in together almost right away. We work at the same agency. Damn, you live in the same building as your workplace, we literally could just run home and…”

“You did not do that. Did you?!” Izuku yelp from the bed, face beet red.

“Oh we did.” Katsuki gives him a shit eating smirk, clearly enjoying Izuku’s embarrassment.

“Going home is better than doing it in the locker room. I think.” Shouto mutters and that’s when Izuku decides he needs to get some water from the bathroom. He’ll be really disappointed when he realizes he can’t flush himself down the toilet.

“Fuck, I have band practice. I need to go soon.” Bakugou suddenly jumps up and takes his bag with him; there are two drumsticks sticking out of the side, quite battered by the look of it.

“If you tell me you play the drums I’m changing sides. The other me can take over Katsuki for me. He won’t know the difference.”

Damn, Bakugou Katsuki is a hot ass man anyway but drummer Bakugou Katsuki? Hot damn. Even the thought of it makes you feel all warm in all the inappropriate places.

“First of all, fuck you.” Katsuki retorts, flabbergasted. “Second of all, I would know the fucking difference. You look and act completely different, just how me and the blondie are different in a lot of ways. Third of all, if you think this bozo can outplay me with those chicken legs, you are really fucking stupid. I might not have a drum set at home but I do know how to play. I played drums since I was 11.”

“You play the drums?!” You can’t help but yell loudly. How did you not know that?! How?!

“He played the drums on the school festival in our first year. It was quite good.” Shouto adds.

“I can do much better than that pop shit we’ve played back then.”

“Is that a challenge, muscle brain?” Bakugou smirks, his eyes full of challenge and needless to say, Katsuki is in for the ride. “My practice finishes at 7 so see you there at 7:15. The bozos know the way.”

“If I win…” Katsuki looks at you with the same smirk. Mind blowing. “I’ll marry your fucking ass and you’ll never be able to leave me.”

Your heart leaps out of your chest. Is this really happening? Now? Like this? Well… okay. Okay, calm down, he might loose. Lol who are you kidding, THIS Katsuki? Loosing? No fucking way.

“Wipe the floor with his ass then, love.”

The way you two are eye fucking right now is downright disgusting but you can’t be bothered.

“Oh, I will, baby.”

~•💥•~

“Uhm, do you guys wanna go to Natsuo’s bar until 7?” Todoroki speaks up after Bakugou and Y/N leaves for band practice. You are a little bit offended that she’d left, but to be fair, she’s probably still extremely mindfucked by all this so it’s quite understandable she needs some space right now. She’s just a quirkless gal, she’s not used to this nonsense.

“He owns a bar?” Shouto looks up, clearly intrigued.

“Yeah, it’s half a bar and half a tattoo and piercing parlor. Quite edgy. The studio Kacchan is in is right next to it. They have open mic nights sometimes, his band plays there quite a lot.”

“Wow, your other self is quite cool, I must say.” You mumble, a little bit too infatuated with his other self for Katsuki’s liking so you get an elbow in your tummy. “Rude.”

~•💥•~

Natsuo’s bar is… sick as fuck. There is no other way to describe it. It’s massive but somehow still really homey, with dark wood covering the walls, the floor and ceiling. There are massive LED lights all over the place, red under the main counter, blue on the walls, white on the shelves full of random memorabilia, mostly old instruments and other music-related stuff like old vinyls and instrument parts, probably vintage and pricy as fuck. There is a massive doorframe on the side with hand painted curtains, blue flames and red feathers swirling together on the material. Some of the feathers are burnt by the fire, the edges black, the paint flaky, probably on purpose while some other ones are engulfed by the blue flames, just about to be burnt to a crisp and it’s the sickest design you’ve ever seen.

For some reason, you are the only one hyperventilating over the beautiful piece of art; Shouto looks like he’s about to throw up while Katsuki and Izuku just stares at the curtain like it personally offended them. You can barely see anything from their faces as “your team” is wearing a disguise to not freak out the customers but you really don’t need to be a genius to know something is wrong.

“Oh shit.” Katsuki mutters, slowly pulling Shouto towards the exit.

“Shou, let’s just chill in Todoroki-kun’s room, okay?”

Okay, what the fuck is happening.

“Can I go in?” Shouto asks Natsuo, who only nods, his eyes full of confusion.

“We told him about you, so he won’t freak out. We told our families about Y/N coming here before so… yeah, go on. He’s a bit rude but he’s harmless.”

“He’s harmless.” Katsuki mutters with a deadpanned expression on his face. “That’s… good to know.”

“Mind to explain why is everyone having a meltdown?” You whisper into Katsuki’s ear while Shouto and Izuku stomps towards the curtains.

“Dabi.” Is all he says and that’s when it hits you; Shouto is about to meet his long lost brother, Touya.

Well, shit got deep quite fucking quickly.

When Shouto pulls the curtain out of the way there are two people inside; an ash blonde, extremely handsome guy with a golden nose ring and… well… a guy who looks like a fucking fallen angel in a romantic fantasy movie.

His hair is white as the freshly fallen snow, eyelashes long and dark, his face looks almost feminine but his cheekbone is sharp and masculine, giving him an otherworldly look. You can’t lie, he’s probably the most beautiful human being you’ve ever seen in your whole life. Not even the massive amount of piercings can ruin his mesmerizing look. He looks up from the random drawing he’s been working at and smirks at the deadpan hero in front of him. His beautiful face completely clashes with his mischievous attitude but that makes him even more interesting. He stands up from his desk gracefully and makes his way towards the Shouto, who just stands in one place with tears in his eyes, his face full of so many emotions now, you can’t even decipher any of them at all.

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost, little brother. Nice muscles, by the way.” Shouto breaks. “Hey, little one, what… what the fuck is wrong with you, oomph!” Dabi’s unable to breathe as Shouto runs into his arms, crying like he’s a little kid again. “Wooow, that’s… a hug. Okay, I’m not really a touchy person to be honest, I’m freaking out. Oi, you have a big ass scar on your face. Who did that? I’ll find ’em and kill ’em.” Shouto starts crying even more. “… uhm, with kindness, of course. Kill em’… with kindness. Yeah. Surely. Let me go, little brother. I can’t breathe.”

It’s quite cute how Touya can’t handle the situation and tries to talk up a storm to calm himself down.

“Touya, I think you are dead in their universe or something.” The ash blond guy smirks at him. “What a plotwist.”

“Hawks?!” Katsuki suddenly yells, giving the poor blond a fright.

“No, I’m Keigo.” He deadpans, utterly confused.

“Am I fucking dead?! Yo, little bro, am I? Did I go out with a blast, though?” Shouto only cries even more. “Oh no, please tell me I wasn’t born in a super powered world and got hit by a bus when I was twelve. That sucks balls.”

“Nah, you probably pulled some shit like killing half of your family out of pure spite after your mother gave you Pepsi instead of Coke.” Keigo mutters and the whole gang gawks at the guy. “Oh my god, did he?”

“Nii-chan…” Shouto sobs, still not coherent enough to make a proper sentence. He looks up at his brother and gives him a wobbly smile, stroking his cheek once then twice before he finally speaks up. “So this is how you would look like. Fuck, I think I’m having a mental breakdown.”

“Am I dead, little brother?!”

“Yes and no?” Izuku tries to help out but he looks just as choked up as his boyfriend. “Touya is gone but Dabi is alive. He’s in prison. For really bad things, but… it wasn’t your fault completely. Uhm. It’s a long story.”

“So Touya is dead but his penis is in prison?” Keigo forgoes his attempts to draw. This conversation is way too interesting for him now, that Touya’s penis is apparently involved.

“What?!” Izuku looks between the two males with nothing but confusion.

“I call his penis little Dabi.”

“You… why…” It’s Katsuki’s time to be completely bamboozled.

“Well, I pierced it so many times by now I decided to name it.”

Your gang falls silent. It’s this world’s Todoroki’s turn to freak out now.

“You pierced your… penis?!”

Touya turns into a really pretty shade of red.

“Well, we had to practice and none of you fuckers wanted a piercing so we practiced on each other! I did his nipples, he did my… Dabi.”

This conversation is wrong on so many levels and you are not even the person traumatized by that name.

“Can I… can I get a piercing from you, Touya?” Shouto gives his brother another wobbly smile and Izuku is about to pass out from the excitement.

“That’s so sweet, I’m gonna cry. Oh my god, I’m crying.”

Spoiler: He’s crying. I know. Shocker.

“Wanna get a ring like mine, baby brother? So we match?” Touya ruffles Shouto’s hair with a fond smile on his face. He looks exhilarated.

Nevermind. You are crying too. Even Katsuki has a tear stuck to his eyelashes but he tries his best to act nonchalant anyway.

“That would be nice, yeah.” Shouto laughs wetly as Touya points at the chair in the middle of the room. Shouto’s super edgy nose piercing is done before he can even breathe out an “I’m ready.” He’s quick and efficient, movements well practiced as he swabs at the fresh ring, cleaning it carefully with a proud smile on his face.

“Next time, I’ll give you a sick tattoo.” Touya daydreams, eyes looking into the distance, the fond smile still lingering on his face from a few seconds before. “I’m sorry if I ever hurt you in your universe. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I might be a lost cause in that world, but tell my family that this Touya… would do anything to keep you guys safe.”

“Ok, I’m out.” This world’s Todoroki decides to leave the room, his face so neutral you really wonder if you should tell him to play poker.

“Come back, you little shit! Why can’t you be like this one, eyy! Cute and shit!”

“You would tease the shit out of me!”

“Well, duh!”

… and the mood is ruined. The whole gang laughs, loud and airy, Shouto’s face scrunches as the freshly made piercing starts to sting from the sudden motion.

Needless to say, the piercing suits him and you are extremely proud to be one of those people who know the real story behind it; a story so heartbreaking yet so full of love and affection; a story of a little brother finally finding solace by knowing that there is another Touya somewhere in the universe, content and happy, surrounded by his family who never ever gave up on him.

Shouto probably wishes his real brother could be here, too.

“Shit.” You cuddle into your boyfriend’s arms, way too emotional for your own good.

“Welcome in our world.” Katsuki mutters back.

~•💥•~

Katsuki has a confession to make. He’s been trying to come up with proposal ideas for a few months now, but none of them felt… right.

Going to a restaurant and propose is too basic. Going on a holiday and propose… well… same thing. Basic as fuck. Katsuki hates it.

Calling their whole friend group and family over is not possible, because Y/N’s family lives abroad and they haven’t even met him in person yet. Doing in front of one family and not the other would be mean, even Katsuki knows that.

The only thing he could think of that sounds almost okay is to go hiking and ask Y/N to marry him on a top of a mountain or a fucking lava but even that feels too normal for their abnormal relationship.

Okay, calling their relationship abnormal sounds extremely rude but honestly, they are not a normal couple. They’ve never been. Hell, they beat the shit out of each other in the training room almost every week. They yell at each other when then they cuddle by the TV like old people. They kick some ass on the battlefield then have aggressive sex after, praising the other about how hot they looked like when they kicked out the villain’s teeth. Sometimes they make work a challenge; whoever gets the last punch needs to uhm… make the other happy later. Don’t ask questions. Honestly, just don’t.

With that said, proposing to Y/N by winning a challenge is quite on-brand for them. They will need to redo the whole proposal in front of Kirishima otherwise he’s going to cry from being left out but Katsuki is more than happy to go down on his knees twice.

He must win today. He’s so done with carrying this fucking ring with himself just in case the time is right!

The ring he got for Y/N is actually made by his parents brand. His mom almost had a heart attack when Katsuki came over to their workshop with a bunch of silly ring designs. When Katsuki said he wants an orange diamond in the middle his father fell off his chair looking at Katsuki like he’s an idiot. Well, Katsuki knew what he wanted and he was quite aware that one small diamond cost 5 million yen (around £23000). That’s the one detail Katsuki was not willing to give up on even if his wallet will be empty for at least a few months afterwards.

So yeah, he was running around with that in his pocket for several weeks now. Hopefully, his suffering ends tonight.

“Get ready to get your ass kicked, Hero.” Bakugou smirks at Katsuki as he makes his way towards his loud ass band.

Oh no. Katsuki knows these people… well, most of them. He has no idea who the long, black haired goth guy is. Or girl. He’s not sure. Maybe something in between. Nah, Katsuki is sure he’s a guy. He looks familiar in a really weird way but he’s also quite sure he’s never met this bozo before.

“Oh my god, I thought you were joking when you said you’re bringing yourself twice.” Kaminari smirks, and he and his other self sighs.

“Annoying as always.” They mumble at the same time, the action followed by a smirk and a first bump. Kyouka laughs.

“I’ve always been wondering if other timelines exist and if they resemble each other in any way. I really want to say I got an answer but seeing how different your two selves look like I have more questions than answers. I guess I will need to live in the darkness for another day.”

NO FUCKING WAY.

No motherfucking way.

“Tokoyami?!” Izuku finally asks the million dollar question, notebook and pen already in his hands as he sneaks closer to the goth, lanky guy holding a guitar.

“I can’t take this anymore. First my long lost brother and now this?” Shouto sits down on the nearest chair, gobsmacked. “How is this even possible?”

“It makes a lot of sense actually.” Izuku goes back a few pages and reads a few notes before he speaks up again. “This world doesn’t have quirks or superpowers. Tokoyami’s appearance is connected to his power hence why he’s… different here. The real question is… how come you still have your half and half appearance? I’m quite sure your condition is extremely rare. Oh, I wish to be able to look into your genetics right now.” Izuku sighs and it sounds weirdly sexual so Katsuki decides to clear his throat before it’s too late.

“Wait a second, what’s wrong with me in your world?” Tokoyami puts his guitar down and comes closer to your little gang.

“Nothing is wrong, just…” Izuku blushes like an idiot, clearly regretting his words already.

“You are a fucking bird, Tokoyami.” Katsuki tries to help out and the joint yelp from the whole band makes him giggle like an idiot. Y/N gives him a side eye for being a cunt but he can’t be bothered. This is way too funny.

“Excuse me?” Tokoyami’s eyes are about to pop out of his skull and with that expression, he does look like his bird-self, to be honest.

“You have a head of a raven. In our world. And a human body. As weird as it sounds, it’s quite common.” Shouto adds helpfully and Katsuki is sure these bozos have never payed this much attention in their whole fucking lives.

“Pardon for the question but how do I have a love life with that face?”

“The same way you do in this world. You don’t.” Bakugou smirks and Katsuki is contemplating between giving the guy another fist bump or slapping his head for being a menace.

Tokoyami looks like he’s about to cry so Katsuki decides to go with the latter.

“So Bakubro said we are heroes in this world, so… I’m not single, right? Heroes must get a lot of chicks. That’s just how it is. In the movies.” Kaminari speaks up with hopeful eyes. Izuku looks extremely proud as he answers that question.

“While it’s true that heroes are surrounded by beautiful women and men, you’ve never really had your eyes on anyone else but your wife.”

“I have a wife?!” Kaminari cries crocodile tears as he embraces Izuku in a tight hug. “Oh my, you are so muscly. Wow. Like… no homo but I would happily go gay for you.”

Izuku blushes like a 30 year old virgin.

“Ahh, yeah, we almost had our first kiss on your and Kyouka’s wedding!” Y/N speaks up and by the look on Kyouka’s face… things are different in this world. Damn. Bummer.

“Me and Kyo? Married?!”

“Oh my god, Pikachu.” Bakugou rolls his eyes, not even surprised by this revelation. “Don’t act like you haven’t been making out in the dressing room for several months now.”

“Making out?” Midoriya joins the eye-rolling contest. “Kyouka comes to class in Denki’s shirts almost every day. They’ve been fucking for at least two years.”

“I thought she just likes his shirts?” This world’s Todoroki speaks up, flabbergasted.

“Oh, honey…” Midoriya taps his shoulders twice, not even bothering to answer him.

“Okay fuckers, now shut the fuck up and let’s hit those fucking drums! I’m so fucking ready!” Katsuki can’t listen to this nonsense anymore. He’s a man on a mission.

“Let’s do this, stupid, muscly twin. Let’s see who’s the best.” Bakugou smirks and the game is on.

~•💥•~

This is not a challenge between two friends. No. This fucking war. Both Katsuki’s take their turn to discuss their chosen song with the rest of the band privately. Everyone needs to wait in the hallway while the meeting is on. Then Bakugou comes out and Katsuki goes in. You swear there are flames under his feet as he barges through the door with determination.

“I know that look, Kacchan. You are fucked.” This world’s Deku decides to annihilate the awkward silence but making it even more awkward. Bakugou jumps in one place as a sudden realizations dawns on him.

“He will play THAT song. The bane of my existence. The one fucking song I just can’t get right. But that means he also can’t get it quite right, so… fuck, shouldn’t have played it safe.”

“Well, it’s important for him to win. And we are heroes. We never play safe. It makes sense. He wants a proper, KO win so he feels like he deserves the prize.” Shouto chimes in with a surprisingly fair answer.

“And if he doesn’t win, he’ll keep coming back until he does. Ahh, Kacchan is so amazing.” Izuku gets all red and the smile on his face is downright suggestive, it actually makes you wonder if there is more of a resemblance between him and his other self that you’ve thought.

“I will play the piano for you when we go to see Fuyumi next time.” Shouto mutters, his eyes glowing with determination.

“Ahh, that piano is really nice, isn’t it?” This world’s Deku chimes in. “My back still hurts when I think about it, though.”

Confusion. Awkward silence. Then it hits.

“You got dicked on the top of that piano.” Bakugou gawks at the boy, who tries to act all shy about it but he can’t really hide the shit eating grin on his face.

“I definitely can’t do that, there is a massive weight difference between this world’s us and uhm… us. There is also a massive difference between our family life, so doing something like that in my sister’s house would be highly inappropriate.” Shouto chimes in as well, speaking nonchalantly, like he’s talking about the weather.

“Shouto, I’m quite sure doing that in anyone’s house IS highly inappropriate anyway.” You try to add something to the conversation, because it’s getting out of hand. Izuku looks like he’s about the burst from embarrassment or something else, you are not sure. Thankfully the door opens and the whole band comes out, all looking pale and shaky.

“Bro. This guy… is an animal.” Kaminari stutters, making a beeline towards the closest drink machine.

“Honestly, ugly twin, give these guys a fucking challenge once in a while. They can play quite well.”

“I’m not ugly! I’m just small! Fuck you, muscle brain!” Bakugou yells with his face red. “And I do challenge them! They knew the song you are about to play, didn’t they?!”

“Yeah, and they also told me how you made them learn it then you never asked them to play it once.” Katsuki smirks and if this would be a normal world he would get an explosion to his face. But this Bakugou doesn’t have a quirk so he just pokes his other self on his side where it hurts the most. “Ouch, I think a mosquito just stung me.”

You can’t help but sigh. One Bakugou Katsuki is certainly enough for one world.

~•💥•~

Bakugou plays Basket Case by Green Day. And he looks extremely hot doing it.

You can’t believe you didn’t know they can play the drums like that. You can barely stop salivating over those muscly arms hitting the drums and this guy has half of the muscle mass your actual boyfriend does. You’ll literally pass out when it’s Katsuki’s turn to play. You also have a hard time believing he can top whatever Bakugou is doing on those drums. You are not a musician but you do have a good ear and Bakugou’s play is flawless, aggressive but precise, maybe a few mistakes here and there where he gets a bit too much into it but otherwise, he clearly has talent. Your other self also looks lovestruck as she stares at her boyfriend lovingly, eyes full of wonder and affection and damn, honestly, they are so fucking cheesy they make you burp.

Katsuki doesn’t even bother being his usual jealous self; there is a massive smirk on his face as the two swap places, his steps confident and when he looks back at you he mouths “keep your eyes on me” and needless to say that goes straight into your… you know what. He’s a hot guy, okay?!

Things only get worse from that point. First of all; he takes his shirt off just as he sits down then throws it right into your face with a massive smirk. The shirt smells just like him and you can’t help but daydream about being home, surrounded by this scent all over. You take the shirt and take a good sniff; Katsuki’s eyes darken, his gaze so lustful it makes you blush like this is the first time you’ve ever seen him look like that.

Somehow… it feels different. Possessive in a good way. Hah. You always hated when someone thought about their partner as “theirs” but now you start to understand that it’s not all about being someone’s possession, it’s more about you being a part of them, one not whole without the other.

Katsuki’s chosen song is Through the fire and flames by an old band called DragonForce.

Tokoyami plays the beginning flawlessly; It’s a fucking hard song to play on every instrument, mostly on guitar and the drums but while Tokoyami looks much more focused than he did when he played the easy chords in the last song, he doesn’t look that bothered. Kaminari on the other hand looks like he’s about to shit himself and it makes you giggle; this song is an absolute pain in the ass on the guitar and you are actually quite surprised that they somehow manage to play the song because even professional guitarists struggle to learn this one. Needless to say there are a few mistakes on their part, but otherwise, it’s quite impressive. You keep your eyes on Tokoyami and Kaminari for the first few seconds of the song as there is no drums at the beginning but when they get to the part with the drums you almost choke on your saliva.

Katsuki looks like a fucking rockstar. The way his muscles bulge when he hits the toms makes you salivate, but you can barely concentrate on the beauty in front of you as the way he plays is even more impressive. It’s powerful, precise, no mistakes whatsoever. The song already has complicated drums but you swear he made it even more difficult to play, even the easy parts sound more complicated and so much better than the original and when you finally tear your eyes off your gorgeous boyfriend you take a look at Bakugou, who’s sitting next to you, gawking at Katsuki with an open mouth, too impressed to be devastated about him loosing - because let’s be honest, he really fucking did loose.

The next time you look at Katsuki, he’s glowing. He looks so happy behind that drum set, so content and so-so handsome it makes your heart clench. You can’t believe this guy is yours. You can’t believe you’ll wake up every day next to this gorgeous fucking man, hopefully, for the rest of your life.

As Katsuki finishes the solo with an absolute sick drum solo, he stands up before the song wraps up and your body moves on its own; you jump into your boyfriend’s arms and he catches your legs and pulls you even closer as he kisses you deeply, right in front of everyone.

“Marry me, Bakugou Katsuki.” You mumble, incapable of pulling away from his puffy, soft lips. Katsuki takes something out of his pocket and let’s you down, but he doesn’t go too far away; He leaves a tiny kiss on your knuckles, tears pricking his beautiful red eyes as he goes down on one knee in front of you.

“Be my fucking wife, Menace. Let’s grow fucking old together. You are the best fucking thing that’ve ever happened to be and the most annoying one as well, but I fucking love you nonetheless.” Katsuki bursts out in tears by the end of his sentence and you are not too far behind; when you are about to answer a loud sob breaks out of your throat.

“Okay.” You mumble, letting him put the ring on your finger. You almost faint when you look at it because while you don’t have any idea about ring prices you already know this one cost a fortune. It’s so fucking beautiful and so perfectly him. Loud and fancy. Just like your fiancé. “I’ll be the best and the most annoying wife in the whole wide world. I promise.”

Katsuki seals the deal with another deep kiss then the moment is ruined when Izuku and Deku starts crying loudly. It’s so loud it actually hurts your eardrums.

“Save your fucking tears for the time I need to recreate all of this for Eijirou’s sake because I ain’t telling him that I proposed to her while he wasn’t here!”

“You want me to give this ring back to you?! But I don’t wanna! It’s so pretty!” You moan, but Katsuki only rolls his eyes.

“You will live, wifey.” Okay. You really fucking like the sound of that. “I’ll keep your mind away from it.” Katsuki pulls you closer by your waist and leaves a scorching hot kiss on your mouth. You melt like a fucking snowman in a microwave.

“Hmm. Deal.”

~•💥•~

“Oi, look! It’s Kirishima!” This world’s Bakugou points to the window of a coffee shop near campus. “He’s making out with the barista!”

“Fucking finally!” Deku rolls his eyes, annoyed. “He’s been pining for months!”

You can’t help but smile when you sneakily look into the coffee shop because that’s the same girl Kirishima’s been daydreaming about in your world. It makes you so happy to see him like this; Eijirou has a special place in your heart and you really hoped he’ll find his own happy end eventually.

“Do you think he knows he’s shagging that famous rock star’s niece?” Todoroki asks the million dollar question. Katsuki and you look up at the guy with question marks in your eyes. “That girl… is the niece of that famous singer-guitarist. The band name is… Crimson Riot? It’s Kirishima’s favorite band I think.”

“Oh my god.” Katsuki looks at you with a shit eating smirk. “Oh my god, I can’t wait to see his face when he realizes that. This is gonna be amazing.”

Yeah it will be… but that’s a story for another day - you think to yourself as you walk around the campus once more, hand in hand with your brand new fiancé. You can’t wait to get home and snuggle him until he blast you out of the window.

“Will you come over again, Y/N?” Deku takes your other hand and starts walking with you like he’s a little kid. You look at Katsuki who only gives you a cheeky smile but that’s all the answer you needed.

“Yeah. We will.”

The End.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- I’m quite sure no sane human being can play the guitar part of the song Katsuki decided to play with that band. I’m just saying, because I usually try to be realistic and that wasn’t. Also, big thank you for my ex-drummer boyfriend for choosing that song for me because I was in stitches for days 😂 I can kinda play a lot of instruments but drums ain’t one of them. I once sat down and tried to play it and he cried. 😂😂😂😂

- The Dabi part inspired me so much that I actually started to write a DabiHawks fanfiction in this AU. It will be a completely separate thing from this and some details will be different, plus I’ll probably upload it on AO3, but just to let you know, that’s something I’m working on when I have the time! I’ll post about it on my Tumblr once it’s done!

- This is the official end of Katsuki’s side of this story. I’m sad but I’m also really happy for him! Thank you very much for everyone for sticking with me for a whole year! I actually uploaded the first chapter of this almost exactly a year ago. How freaky is that?!

- As you guys know, there is a spin-off for this series called Kirishima Eijirou’s daily shenanigans and the first chapter is already up so click here to read my first Kirishima x reader fanfic! 🪨

TL - thank you guys for being here 😭😭 @sixxze @iwannahaveaprettyaesthetic @hanatsuki-hime @cloroxisadelectabletreat @cheesenmax @coffeent @smolsleepybat @therealpotatobish @qardasngan @canarystwin @unofficialmuilover @nanamomo1 @mikestuffffs @p4ndawrites @yao-ai @porusuniverse

[evilkitten3]

do you think another reason the chuunin exams were created (besides filtering out the "untalented" nin & introducing them to the life of a shinobi) was to create a trauma-bond between the teammates that survived/passed it? it's no secret that kid's lives or their innocence were never really valued in Konoha (or anywhere else for that matter), so I wouldn't be too surprised to find out this was done to strengthen the bond between teammates & better their teamwork/spirit

also, do you think the chuunin exams were especially traumatic during the sannin era, especially bc they were 6 (or a few years older but defo younger than naruto's gen) ??? and even if it wasn't the chuunin exams goal to create a traumabond, it certainly did for the sannin?

honestly, no. it's possible that i'm just the sort of person who tends to assume the best of people, especially fictional ones, but it's also true that i just tend to find fucked up shit more interesting when it was done with good intentions. i'm only into cartoonishly heinous motivations when they're applied to individuals rather than systems, i guess.

the thing you need to keep in mind concerning my view of the naruto universe is that literally every single character is deeply traumatized, whether they're aware of that or not. for starters, the vast majority of characters were raised to be child soldiers in a world where that's considered normal. our modern view of the 18-21 age group as the youngest adults doesn't apply there - legally, these people are becoming adults at ages as young as twelve (and that's the improved version - a lot of the older cast members have been shinobi since as young as five or six).

even the characters who never became ninja have all been through some pretty serious trauma. ayame and teuchi lived through the kyuubi attack, tazuna and his family had to deal with the whole gatou situation, and so on. no one in this world is remotely okay by our standards. but what that means is that being a neurotic mess is the norm. for the whole. entire. world.

a world based on structures so fucked up is going to be full of thoughts that to us seem entirely contradictory - how can konoha say it cares for its citizens when of the five most famous genin-by-six, the most functional is jiraiya (kakashi is a mess, tsunade is drinking and gambling away her problems, orochimaru is out there inventing to moral event horizons to cross, and itachi murdered his whole family and tortured his little brother about it)? but - and this is something that is understandably hard for people to wrap their heads around - we're shown things from people like the sandaime's point of view. we know - for a fact - that hiruzen cares deeply about his village and its citizens, and that most of the people he was personally involved in fucking up are the ones he - genuinely - cared for the most.

the second thing you need to be aware of is that the rankings in the naruto world are based on real life ninja ranks - jounin, chuunin, and genin are all real world terms that were modified to fit the world of naruto. whether irl ninja could move up in the ranks or not is something i don't know, but given that naruto is a shounen, it makes sense for the protagonist to have a clearcut explanation of the steps he needs to take to achieve his goal (ninja president) laid out early on, and that he and his friends be given the opportunity to move through the ranks throughout the course of the story (although, as many people have pointed out, naruto stayed a genin pretty much the whole time)

from an irl perspective, the chuunin exams are a way to introduce other characters, give the main trio a chance to level up, and also have a tournament arc for funsies. in-universe, the purpose is for genin to get a chance (or six chances kabuto) to become chuunin, and to strengthen ties with other villages via a show of trust - we're showing you our next generation. this is incentive to maybe not go to war again pretty please heart emoji poop emoji.

the thing is, life and innocence are valued in konoha, and likely the other villages as well, though we don't see it as much. but it's such a twisted, foreign concept to us real world non child soldiers that it doesn't seem like it (more accurately, it's valued by the people but not the system, and the people in charge of the system ignore that bc unfortunately for the entire naruto universe sakura didn't get around to inventing mental health until after the fourth war ended)

danzou and hiruzen exemplify this perfectly imo. hiruzen is full of ideals and beliefs and trust, and bc of that isn't able to see the system for what it is and can never fully understand why all of his good intentions keep churning out shitshows. on the other end of the spectrum, danzou is very aware of the world he lives in, possibly more than almost any other character. but bc of that he views the nature of humans as a flaw for shinobi to overcome - ninja are tools for the good of the village, and can and will be discarded just as easily. from a brutally practical viewpoint, danzou and hiruzen were probably genuinely extremely effective at keeping konoha together. it's just that how that worked out and how they did it is morally abhorrent to the majority of people (including hiruzen himself)

lastly, the concept of trauma as we view it not only doesn't but honestly can't exist in the world of naruto. say someone has a jutsu that allows them to create a brain scan similar to something we can do irl. the effects of mental illness on an adult brain wouldn't register as anything abnormal bc that's what everyone's looks like. you aren't having a "panic attack" or a "trauma response" or a "flashback", you're just going through the same shit everyone else is. that's all par for the course, it's just what life is like. that's how the world of naruto sees it, at least.

so where we see "children going through horrific events together and bonding bc they have no choice", the residents of narutolandia see "tuesday". so no, i don't think the chuunin exams were formed with the intent of gluing people to each other via trauma - they don't need to be. that's what life is for.

concerning the sannin, i'm not sure they ever took the chuunin exams. i honestly don't even know if the chuunin exams would've been a thing yet - the earliest one we know of is the one kakashi and his team were at, which was konoha-only and thus already fairly different from the one naruto went through. the sannin lived through all of the first three ninja wars, and though they probably didn't fight in the first one, they likely became genin just as it ended (otherwise i'm not sure how sarutobi would've had time to teach them...?). orochimaru's parents were already dead by the time he became a genin, so it's not hard to imagine they died in the first war. the sannin are actually relatively lucky - the second world war didn't happen until they were in their 20s, so they got a good two decades of not being at war (this is the longest space of time between the wars, followed by the time between the third and fourth wars (~15 years) and then the time between the second and third wars (less than 1 year)).

actually, thinking about it now, i think it's possible that spend early pre-ninja childhood with their village at war, then spending the rest of their youths in (relative) peace, and then finally getting tossed right back into shitshow two electric boogaloo might've been why they ended up more fucked up than most. so i guess the solution really was the moon coma after all

tldr: madara was right. not where i thought i was going with this but it does seem to be where we ended up

[peridot-tears]

Okay, separate from my response to the Jiang Cheng hater post, but I think we're starting to view the word "abuse" the way we view "brainwash" when it comes to Chinese culture.

I always hated how people talked about how people in China are brainwashed by communists. "Brainwashed" meant you can't think for yourself. You're supposed to be criticizing the government, but instead you're insulting the intelligence and free will of the people. The same people who took to the streets in 1989.

(There is a beautiful article that goes deeper into how loaded this word is! Please read it, this is how I learned that "brainwashed" was originally a Chinese word that was loaned into English instead of the other way around! It originally meant to move on from the literal Century of Humiliation China experienced due to imperialism and invasion, but translated into something different!)

Similarly, what does "abuse" mean? To hurt the people in your care? But all parents hurt their children, even if unintentionally. Is it wrong to ground your kid now? Where is the line? In a lot of the discourse I see, people who jump to say Yu Ziyuan or Jiang Cheng is abusive is missing the point. If you took away the word "abuse," I think anyone, Chinese or not, would say what Yu Ziyuan did was wrong. She made everyone miserable. She pitted her children against their best friend they considered a brother. She made the past generation's arguments a burden for the next.

With Jiang Cheng, it's a bit more complicated. He's clearly doing something right if Jin Ling feels safe around him. It is considered normal, even in a modern context, to threaten to break his legs (there goes Uncle Jiang again, being dramatic). Him slapping Jin Ling is, again, era-appropriate, but it's still definitely not cool of him.

But when people say he's "abusive," it sweeps away all the nuance. It dismisses the amount of intergenerational trauma it took to get to this point. And it's personal to us because frankly, many Chinese diaspora are diaspora now because of war and famine. White Americans cannot say the same. It doesn't mean we don't think certain things our parents do are wrong. We have brains. We fucking know, and we're working really hard to not to pass that on. But our line and personal tolerance for how our parents treated us differs from person to person. I'm definitely more prickly about how my parents talk to me than a lot of my friends.

I've been seeing a lot of discourse over what is and isn't abuse over the years, and it's not just from Chinese people. It's my Colombian friends when they talk about the grandmother from Encanto. Yeah, we don't like her behaviors, but abuse? Did she strike Mirabel? Did she verbally insult her? Did she send her to her room for no reason? She didn't. And this is a woman who did things a certain way because that's how she rebuilt after watching her husband get killed while fleeing from drug cartel violence (implied, definitely believed by my Colombian friends, unsure if canonically confirmed).

"Abuse" can be such a code word for "horrible human who's out to get her children" without the nuance or regard for our own autonomy as people who had to grow up with toxic behavior from our guardians. It's a loaded word.

[itsthecherryontop]

Adrenaline Rush (Billy Hargrove)

Scene from Chapter Two of my Billy Hargrove Slowburn Enemies to Lovers Fic

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Henderson OC (Halle)

Chapters Posted: 23/49 UPDATES WEEKLY

Sighing in relief, I turned out of the study room and gathered my things. There were ten minutes of lunch left and I needed fresh air. I walked my way to the bleachers lining the football field and took a deep breath of the cold air. I should have listened to Dustin and stayed home. I was too tired to deal with any more Upside Down shit today. Every muscle in my body was aching to get on my bike and ride away from there, but I knew I couldn’t leave Steve alone in class after what just happened. 

Sitting on the cold metal I pulled out the sandwich I had packet. I wasn’t even very hungry, but it was better than sitting there with shaking hands. Slipping my headphones back on I laid down, watching the clouds pass. Maybe I could just sleep through the next period. If I didn’t show up Steve would leave to search for me and we could both skip. 

The smell of a burning cigarette wafted through the air, instantly causing me further disinterest in my food. Sitting up on my elbows I looked for the sources. Leaning against the wall at the far of the school were Billy Hargrove and Tina smoking. Hearing Tina force a loud laugh at something the blond said through my headphones was the deciding factor that it was my cue to head inside. 

Finding my seat next to Steve, he looked over at me like he wanted to talk about the scene at the library, but knew he couldn’t. Placing a forced smile on my face that I hoped was reassuring I addressed him, “It will be fine. Nancy’s smart she won’t do anything. Especially not if it puts people she cares about in danger.”

“I know. I’m just worried about her,” he confessed with a heavy sigh. 

“I am too, but like you said. We are gonna go to that party and have a good time. We will be stupid normal teenagers.”

“Yeah, stupid teenagers. I can do that. Am I still driving you?”

“Well, I don’t plan on biking there.”

As I exited the building, I grabbed my bike and rode over to the middle school. As the younger students rushed out of the door, I searched the faces for my brother and his friends while I approached the bike racks. After the crowd had thinned out slightly, four boys emerged in Ghostbusters costumes. 

“Hey, you guys ready to go trick or treating?” I asked as they approached. 

“We were the only ones dressed up today,” Dustin complained as he reached for his bike. 

“Last year everyone dressed up,” Lucas added. 

“There is nothing wrong with that. It just means everyone else is a loser,” I replied trying to make them feel better. “I don’t even have to see anyone else's costumes to know that you guys had the best costumes. I mean you guys are the fucking Ghostbusters what is cooler than that?”

“My mom’s here. I’ll see you guys later,” Will stated before walking off as we called our goodbyes.

“No, everyone made fun of our costumes,” Mike snarked and we started pedaling home. 

“Yeah, even the new girl,” Dustin commented. 

“Well fuck them! It doesn’t matter what they say cause it’s not true. I bet all those other kids wanted to wear their costumes today too, but you know why they didn’t? Cause they were scared. Scared of what other people would think of them. And when they get older they are going to regret living for what other people want and not doing what makes them happy. You got that? But you guys did what you wanted and that makes you braver than all those other shitheads,” I ranted. “Who cares if they think you are weird or a freak?! Do you think a normal person could have fought literal monsters? I mean look at you, you are the bravest kids I have ever met. And if they can’t see that then they can go fuck themselves. You guys are badass fucking monster killers!”

The boys laughed as we made our way down the road, passing trees of changing colors. Spread out across the right lane the boys discussed why everything changed that Halloween. At the sound of an engine, I turned to see a car speeding toward us. 

“Guys?” I called, trying to get the boys' attention. Seeing that the car wasn’t slowing down I tried again screaming, “GUYS! GET OFF THE ROAD!” The boys started frantically pedaling faster. “TO THE SIDE!”

One by one the boys crashed into the side of the road with shouts. Seeing as I was behind them I had to pedal faster so I would land further up than where they landed not wanting to hit them. Lord knew running into them at that speed would cause some serious injuries. My bike skitted out from under me as I reached the shoulder just before the car passed. Landing hard I slammed into the ground rolling until I hit a tree trunk. Looking down the road I saw the car speeding away.  Even at just a glimpse, I knew that car, a blue Camaro, belonging to none other than Billy Hargrove. 

Pushing my palms against the ground I lifted myself off the ground. My eyes watered at the sting of pain I felt. 

“Shit,” I cursed sitting up. “Are you guys okay?” 

Looking over at them they all looked fine. It didn’t look like they had a scratch on them. They seemed busy discussing MadMax who was probably siblings with that mullet-headed psycho.  Looking down I could see all the damage done. My jeans were completely torn open on my right leg revealing scraps covering most of my leg. I could already tell I would bruise on my arm from where I landed on my bike, which also happened to leave a cut. Lastly, I could feel my face was fairly beaten up from hitting the ground. 

“Holy shit!” Dustin shouted as he ran toward me, followed by Mike and Lucas. 

“Are you okay?” Mike asked. 

“Will you be able to walk? Your bike is wrecked,” Lucas exclaimed. 

“I swear to god I am going to take Steve’s bat to that car. That psychotic asshole should have his fucking license revoked,” I seethed trying to stand up. 

“So that must be Max’s brother driving then,” Dustin suggested. 

“Are you sure you can walk the rest of the way home? You don’t look okay,” Lucas worried inspecting each of my injuries. 

“I’m sure it looks worse than it is. Plus, I am not letting you leave me alone out here.”

“We will walk with you and you can hop on the back of my bike if you need. We still have a few miles to go,” Mike offered, picking up my bike to hand it to me. 

“Thanks. You guys are good kids.”

The walk home was extremely tedious. Just the two miles left took an hour and 20 minutes versus the normal 15-minute bike ride. As soon as we entered the door Dustin rushed me to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. I was glad my mom wasn’t here to fuss over every scratch. Deciding it would be easier to shower before treating the wounds, Dustin left for his room. 

Stripping my clothes off ended up being far more painful than I had initially thought. The blood had started to dry on my leg and arm causing the fabric to stick to my skin. After one of the worst showers of my life, I inspected the extent of my injuries in the mirror. There were traces of redness along most of the right side of my body. One of the worst consequences of fair skin: bruising easily. My torso survived pretty much unscathed, with my legs taking the worst of the heat. My face had scraps along my cheek temple and jaw, which was going to bruise. 

Reaching for the rubbing alcohol, I tried to mentally prepare myself for the pain I was about to cause myself, knowing I would likely cry either way. Eventually, I just gave up and called Dustin in to pour the bottle over my leg. It would take too long to use a rag and I couldn’t bring myself to dump the bottle over the open cuts even after much self-convincing. Thank god, Dustin didn’t have the same reservations as he emptied half the bottle over my thigh. He did apologize profusely after I spent the next minute and a half cursing with watering eyes. 

After covering any open wound as best as I could. By the time I departed the bathroom, it was already 6. Steve would be picking me up in 45 minutes. Changing into my costume, I made my way to the kitchen. 

“You’re still going?” Dustin asked getting ready to leave to meet his friends.

“I already told Steve and Nancy I would go. It’s a big deal for them. They need a night to be normal teenagers,” I responded grabbing leftover pasta from the fridge. “And as you can see I am still standing. It takes a lot more to kill me than some dumb teenage boy.” 

“Are you sure you will be okay? You were pretty hurt. The adrenaline might not have worn off yet.”

“It’s been two hours. I am pretty positive the adrenaline has worn off. I bandaged it all myself and you helped me disinfect it so there is nothing to worry about. Plus, I will be with Steve and Nancy, so go have fun and bring me back some candy.”

“Okay. Just be careful.”

“I always am. Love you,” I shouted as he closed the door. 

Finishing up the rest of my reheated pasta, I cleaned my plate finishing just as I heard the horn of Steve’s car. Climbing into the backseat, both passengers turned to me in concern. 

“Halle, what happened are you okay?” Nancy frantically asked.

“Teenage boys suck at driving so I fell off my bike racing to get out of the way, but I’m fine. It is all surface wounds. I’m patched up and good to go,” I explained. 

“Are you sure you don’t just want to stay home? I’ve been in enough fights to know your face is going to bruise,” Steve tried to soothe. 

“Look I iced my face already. There is nothing else I can do right now and I would rather not sit at home alone until my mother comes home and helicopters over me because I got a little scraped up.  Plus I think it adds to my costume don’t you think? Dead or tortured Indiana Jones is way more original.”

“Okay, but if it starts hurting a lot tell me and I will take you home. Deal?” Steve negotiated. 

“Yeah, that sounds fair,” I agreed as he turned, leaving only Nancy facing me with a tight-lipped smile. 

There were already cars lining Tina’s driveway as pulled up to her house. I was already starting to dread my decision to come. Slowly exiting the car I followed the couple inside. The party had barely started and the inside of the house was crowded and hot. 

Hanging around the edges of the party we talked, well more like Nancy and Steve talked while I played the third wheel. Glancing around I decided I would never host a party. There was toilet paper in the fan and empty cups and other trash abandoned on the floor. Tina had signed herself up for a serious clean-up tomorrow. 

“I invited Jonathan,” Nancy announced to me. 

“I doubt he will come. He doesn’t like parties and he is in charge of watching Will tonight,” was all I responded. 

I was far more social than Jonathan and even I didn’t normally show up to parties. I would rather be with my brother and his friends than here as lame as that seemed. I just didn’t do well with small talk. I didn’t have any interest in a hangover tomorrow. Nor did I want some moron’s beer breath in my face or his hands on my body. I had no reason to be here other than for my friends and the fact I like dancing. 

“Do you guys want to dance?” I asked hoping I would be spared from dancing without them. When they shook their heads no, I realized I was either going to have to solo it or suffer alone all night. “Okay, well come find me when you plan on leaving I guess.”

Making my way to the kitchen I grab a small amount of what I have no doubt is a strongly spiked punch. Downing the near-pure alcohol substance I make my way around the room until I find someone I know well enough. Before I could get far I heard someone call my name. Turning around I came face to face with Tina.

“Halle? Is that you?” She asked looking over me. 

“Yeah, the one and only,” I responded. 

“I’m surprised you came. You aren’t really known for your appearance at parties.”

“What can I say I heard it was going to be a great party. I love your Madonna costume by the way. You look amazing.”

“Thank you. I went all the way to the outlet mall a few towns over to get the right pieces for it. You certainly went all out with your costume. Indiana Jones right? The facial makeup for the injuries is incredible. How long did that take you?” she asked lifting her cup to her mouth. 

“The scraps I got falling off my bike earlier but the bruises and blood are all fake. You’d be surprised with how far a little eyeshadow and food coloring can get you in the fake injury world,” I joked.  

After a few songs, which luckily Tina joined in on, I went back over to Steve and Nancy, who were still near the wall. As I approached them I started regretting leaving the dancefloor as Shout at the Devil came on. 

“Are you guys gonna dance or mope? It’s a party. Stupid teenagers remember?” I encouraged. 

“Dancing sounds like a great idea,” Steve began to say, as chanting began outside. Steve’s eyes narrowed in on something across the room and I followed his gaze. “For fuck’s sake.” I heard Steve mutter as Billy set his eyes on Steve and made his way over. 

“I am too sober to deal with this,” I declared walking back to the kitchen with Nancy in tow. 

“What’s in this?” She asked a boy in a toga standing next to the punch bowl. 

“Pure fuel!” He yelled. 

I simply shrugged as Nancy grabbed a plastic cup. Grabbing my own I placed a small amount within it and downed it trying to ignore the burn of my esophagus. Nancy however always ambitious, downed half a cupful. As Steve suddenly appeared suggesting she slowed down. She quickly brushed him off and pulled me towards the dancefloor.

 Looking at the interaction between Steve and Nancy, I had a feeling I was missing something. Either way, something was going to give and it was not going to end well. 

Nancy and Steve seemed to ignore whatever it was, so I decided to not bring it up. Whatever it was could wait for tomorrow. Tonight was for normalcy. Feeling the light buzz and the Blondie song blaring through the speakers, I spun and swayed to the beat singing the words. It didn’t matter who was watching, the lights were bright, and the house loud enough to muffle the fears that whispered in my mind. For the first time in what felt like months, I didn’t have to worry. 

Throwing my head back I laughed, feeling free. Why didn’t I attend parties more often? I felt like a bird spreading its wings for the first time after living in a cage. The desert getting its first rain of the year. The sun finally peeking through the clouds after a harsh winter. 

After Nancy downed her third drink, I needed some fresh air. Excusing myself I stepped into the backyard, which had calmed down since Hargrove’s keg stand. Sitting down on an empty chair with a glass of water I leaned back and looked at the stars. At the edge of Hawkins, the stars were always easier to see, being farther away from the town lights. My mind stilled like ripples in a pond as I caught my breath, still riding the after-dancing high. 

Finishing my water I headed back inside looking for a bathroom. Making my way back to the dancefloor, I searched for Nancy and Steve. Figuring they would join me I entered the mass of bodies, turning my body to the rhythm, dancing with random people. 

After a few songs, I pardoned myself from the boy I was dancing with in search of my friends. When I didn’t find them outside or anywhere in the house I started asking random people. 

“Harrington? He left with Wheeler after a fight, well more like he left alone and Wheeler left with the Byers Perv,” Tommy bragged overhearing me ask Nicole. 

I could feel my face drop as I absorbed his statement. They wouldn’t just leave me, would they? They know I don’t have any other way home. 

“Wow, Henderson. Why the long face? Don’t tell me they were your ride?” Tommy teased. When I didn’t answer he laughed. “Oh shit! Did they really leave you? Bummer. Knarly costume though.”

“Thanks, Tommy,” I said as I walked away. 

Looking at my watch it was already eleven. Heading upstairs to where I saw a phone, I pushed past the stumbling bodies. Grabbing the phone I dialed Steve’s number knowing his parents weren’t home. When he didn’t answer I tried again. On the third call, I heard the phone connect. 

“Steve-” I began before I heard him disconnect the phone. Knowing he left the phone off the receiver so it wouldn’t ring again, I slammed the phone down releasing a strangled scream.

 Almost everyone in this house was far too intoxicated to drive, so I would have to walk the 5 miles. Downing another serving of punch, I grabbed a water bottle and practically shoved my way out the door ramming into anyone in my way. Sure enough, Tommy was right. Steve’s burgundy BMW was nowhere to be seen. 

The road was dark as I walked on its edge. The further I walked the more I realized how tired I was. My body started aching the further I walked and being surrounded by the woods didn’t help my mentality. Every ounce of freedom I had felt at Tina’s vanished. I could practically hear the scraping of my self-created cage bars as they rose from the ground locking me in. 

If I died out here I would spend the rest of eternity haunting the shit out of those two. I don’t care what happened, I would never have deserted them at a party without a ride home. Especially after the events of last year. 

Is this how Barb felt? No, I mean I only left her to get snacks. I mean I was unaware of the Upside Down and less than 100 yards away. She was alone for five minutes tops. They left me alone for five miles. I mean did they not care about me? Sure I felt like an afterthought sometimes, but they at least tried to include me. God, being the third wheel sucked. I mean even Jonathan didn’t try to make sure I had a ride, but then again he likely thought Steve would take me home. This has got to be one of the shittiest days of my life. 

I wish I at least had my Walkman, then I could overwhelm the eerie noises in the woods. Taking off my hat I swung it at my side. My feet were already starting to hurt, these combat boots were not broken in enough for this. Looking down at my watch, it showed I hadn’t even been walking for half an hour. I wasn’t even walking fast enough for my normal pace due to the aching in the right side of my body. Headlights shined behind me as I turned. Stepping off the road to avoid dying from drunk drivers, I watched as the car sped past me at an illegal speed. In fact, every car that passed was speeding far too fast.

I was going to kill Steve Harrington when I saw him tomorrow. Who leaves a teenage girl to walk home alone in the dark in the middle of nowhere? This is how I end up dead in a ditch and on the news for some vicious crime. I did not want to be the next victim of a Black Dahlia type of murder. 

The more I thought about it the angrier I got. I mean what kinds of friends do that? I just wanted to punch something. Stopping my march, I released a scream until my lungs were empty and my throat was raw. Collapsing on a patch of grass to the side of the road a sob escaped my lips. 

“Was I not worth caring for?” my mind whispered. “Would they even miss you?”

Dustin would. Dustin would always miss me. He was probably worried, I thought peeling my shoes from my feet to reveal bloody blisters on my heels. Tying my boots together I placed them over my shoulder as I stood whipping tears from my eyes. My socks scruffed against the cold pavement as I shuffled along. 

Maybe I should have asked Tommy for a ride. Sure he was a little drunk, but he would have driven me. Even if he didn’t want to Carol would have made him. At least then I had a chance of making it to town before sunrise. Hell, I should have just gone to Tina and asked her if I could just crash in a spare room for the night. She would have understood. I would have offered to help clean tomorrow if I needed to. 

 Drinking a sip of my water I checked the time again. It was nearly one in the morning and I still had at least another two miles. 

At the snap of a stick in the woods to my right, I froze, heart pounding, desperately looking for whatever was lurking in the shadows. Straining my eyes I couldn’t make out anything. Rationally I knew it was probably a mouse or raccoon maybe even a coyote, but my mind was already set on a Demogorgon lunging at me. When the leaves shuffled I bolted and my mind collapsed. 

I was right back in Hawkins Middle School running from the Demogorgon while carrying El. I could hear the screams of the Hawkings Lab employees behind me. The tearing of their flesh, breaking of bones as it caught them. Lured by the smell of blood from dead bodies, the monster’s calling card. The echos of their useless gunfire bombarded my eardrums leaving a ringing. The lights flickered as the air chilled. Digging my heels deeper I pushed faster. I could feel my socks tearing, the soles of my feet being shredded by the rough pavement. The shoes falling off my shoulders, forgotten in my wake. The hat and water bottle slid from my grasp as they fell to the ground behind me. 

My lungs screaming for the air I couldn’t breathe fast enough. Tears streamed from my face filling my eyes until I couldn’t see. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. I couldn’t stop. 

I could feel my steps get slower no matter how hard I screamed for them to keep up. My knees weakened until they buckled and I collided with the pavement. Automatically I clenched my eyes shut and curled upon myself as I hit the ground. Sobbing, a scream erupted from my throat as I prepared for razor teeth to rip into my skin. When the impact never came I opened my eyes to find myself alone in the middle of the road. There was no sign of a Demogorgon anywhere. What was wrong with me?

Unable to pick myself up I wept until I threw up, continuing to dry heave until I thought I was gonna pass out. I was so tired I wanted to lay down right there. I didn’t even care if someone ran me over. Maybe whoever came would see me and take me to the hospital. Everything hurt. 

I nearly fell over again when I eventually tried to stand. My feet were so scrapped I was leaving bloody footprints. My scrapes had reopened and I could already tell I created new ones. At an even slower pace, I dragged myself home. I thought about simply giving up and curling onto the grass or against a tree for the night, but Dustin would be worried. Mom would be furious if I was out all night. 

By the time I made it to the house, it was almost three. The streets were completely empty, which is probably a good thing as I looked like I had stepped out of a horror film.  Reaching the front door it was locked, and the key under the mat wasn’t there. I knew I didn’t leave my window open, so I knocked on Dustin’s. After a good five minutes of hard banging, he appeared. 

“Why the hell are you back so late? Where were you?” He hissed in the dim shine of his nightlight. 

“The door is locked and the key is gone,” I forced out as my as I could with the little remnants of my voice. 

“Well come in,” he ordered pulling his window open further open. 

Placing my hands on the window seal I tried to haul myself up, only to cry out. “I can’t. You’ve gotta open the front door.” 

“Are you drunk?”

“No, I barely had anything and it was hours ago.”

“Fine, I’ll open the door,” he grumbled leaving his room. 

As he opened the door he followed me back into the house announcing he was going back to bed. Entering the bathroom I bathed for the second time that day and cleaned my wounds. We would have to buy more rubbing alcohol at this rate. 

I was noticeably far worse than I had been earlier that day. The bruises had begun to develop color along my legs, arms, and face. As soon as I crawled into my bed, after downing a cup of water and ibuprofen I was out. 

I woke up that morning to a scream from my mother. Pushing myself out of bed I limped out into the entryway where my mother was yelling at Dustin 

“Is that blood? Do you think it is funny to scare me like this? You are gonna clean this up before you go see your friends,” she shrieked pointing at the trail of bloody footprints I had forgotten to clean up last night. 

“No, I didn’t do that. It’s pretty genius I have to hand that to Hal-” Dustin cut off as he saw me there. The color slightly draining from his face. 

“Sorry, that is my fault. I forgot to clean them up, ” I lulled too sore and tired to say much else. As soon as my mother's eyes caught on me she stopped with widened eyes, slowly approaching me with outstretched arms as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. 

“Oh, my god. My baby. What happened to you? Who did this? You know you can tell me. Oh, my poor baby. How could someone do this to you?” she cried hovering her hands over my arms afraid to hurt me. 

“I crashed on my bike, Mom. I’m fine.” 

“Oh honey why don’t you get in the car and I will take you to the hospital to get you looked at.”

“I already disinfected them and covered them. I was extra careful. I really just want to sleep. I am so tired, Mom.”

“Are you sure?” She asked. When I nodded she sighed, “Okay, I will make you your favorite for breakfast. How about that? I will head to the store right now. Dustin watch your sister please.”

Frantically she gathered her purse and keys. She was definitely going to come home with lots of snacks and first aid materials. As the door closed behind her Dustin stared at me until we heard her car pull out of the driveway. 

“What happened? Don’t even try to pull that shit that it was only a bike crash that you pulled with Mom. I know you didn’t look this bad after you crashed,” Dustin demanded more seriously than I had ever heard him. 

“I fell,” I stated as I began returning to my room. I could hear Dustin follow me as I entered my room. He stood at my door as I struggled to lie in my bed. “I’m tired and I had a really shitty night can you please let me sleep?”

“Do you promise to tell me later?” He bargained. 

“Yes. If anyone calls tell them I am sick.” With that, he left me to fall into a dreamless sleep in the safety of my room. 

“Halle. Halle, baby. You gotta wake up,” Mom instructed presenting a plate of eggs benedict. 

“Thank you,” I smiled with heavy eyes taking the warm plate.

“I was thinking that I want you to take the old Volkswagen when you are ready to go to school again. Taking you and Dustin, okay? I don’t want you riding your bike when you are still healing. If you are responsible, you can continue to drive it once you are better. That means no more instances like before. If Hopper even mentions you speeding you will lose car privileges again, understood?”

“Yes.”

That night I couldn’t sleep despite being tired. My mind kept flashing back to how I was positive a Demogorgon was chasing me. There had been nothing there, my brain simply decided it would play a Halloween prank on me and got lost in it. It felt like I was losing my mind. My brain lost the line between reality and fiction. 

Slowly I made my way to Dustin’s room, who was asleep at this time. Making my way to his bed I gently shook him awake. 

“What?” he replied half asleep. 

“Can I sleep in here? I’ll sleep on the floor. I just really don’t want to be alone right now,” my voice was still rough from the previous night breaking off at random places. 

“You can’t sleep on the floor. You won’t be able to get up. We will just sleep in your room,” he offered standing up and grabbing his pillow and blankets. 

Silently he settled onto the floor next to my bed. I stared at the ceiling as Mews jumped on my bed and curled up against my legs.

“I think there is something wrong with me. I’m losing it. I can’t tell what is real anymore,” I confessed. “I thought I was being chased by a Demogorgon last night, but there was nothing there. It was like I was right back in the middle school that night. I could hear those people from the lab, their screams, and their bullets. The sound of the Demogorgon. But I was all alone… there was nothing there.”

“Maybe it was your mind trying to protect you. Maybe there was something even if it wasn’t from the Upside Down.”

“But what if there wasn’t? What if it happens again, and this time in front of others? What if I am going crazy?”

“Then the rest of us will go crazy with you,” he stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I suppose he was right. We had all been through the same event. It would only make sense that we all suffered lingering effects the same.  “I found a new species yesterday.”

“You did? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I named him D'Artagnan. I call him Dart for short. I think he is some kind of terrestrial pollywog. I’ll show you him tomorrow and maybe we can get some books from the library.”

...

Dart was the most disgusting creature I had ever seen. It wasn’t the fact that he didn’t have eyes or that he looked like a slug, but the slime. The mucus coating was cold, sticky, and smelt bizarre.  I am all for animal protection, but if Dustin wasn’t obsessed with Dart I would have flushed him down the toilet. So I went along with it.

Continue Reading: archiveofourown.org

[micvick]

Between the Sea and the Sand

Themes and Warnings for this chapter: Strong Language, Violence and Threats, Emotional Distress, Psychological Trauma, Suicide Mention.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language, and most of this text has been translated. The original text in Spanish is this: "Entre el mar y la arena".

Capítulos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

THIS SON OF A BITCH KISSED ME IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CAPITOL? THIS BASTARD LITERALLY GAVE ME MY FIRST KISS, IN THE CAPITOL, THE CAPITOL. SHIT, I'M GOING TO KILL THIS FUCKER.

I held back my fury and smiled. He hugged me, and I reciprocated so the Capitol folks would think this was mutual when in reality I WANT TO KILL HIM, I'll kill him when I can. As soon as we passed a bridge, I felt myself being pulled into the bathroom next to that room. Once I saw we were out of the Capitol's sight, I slapped Finnick so hard that his face turned red. After that, he started laughing and said,

"You're so delicate, it was just a kiss. Besides, this will get you more sponsors, it makes you desirable."

"IS EVERYTHING ABOUT SPONSORS TO YOU?!?" I yelled at him.

"It should matter to YOU," he said seriously.

When he said that, I broke down crying. When I least expected it, he hugged me. I pushed him away and opened the door without thinking someone might see me. I saw my brother in the room, but I didn't care and ran straight to my room. What I didn't imagine was that Enzo would be there, putting stones on a dress. He turned when he heard me open the door and smiled at me. But soon he looked surprised to see me; I imagine he didn't expect to see me crying. He sat on the bed and invited me to sit next to him. It was hard to walk because I cried so much, my stomach hurt. When I sat, he looked at me and took my face to show me the dress. It was a dress full of pearls and stones, with a fishing net in the back. The stones must have been very heavy; how am I going to wear all that? But it was so beautiful, I couldn't see it well through my tears. He gave me a small hug and began to describe the dress, the fabric it was made of, how he made it, the inspiration, until he stopped talking and said,

"Do you want to stay a little longer?" I didn't have the strength to speak, so I just nodded my head. We stayed hugging for a while longer. I could hear a commotion in the other room, Kai yelling things at Finnick that I couldn't even understand. I just ignored it because I want to ignore everything. I want to ignore what is going to happen and what happened. I want to forget I exist. I dreamed, and Enzo stroking my head didn't help me stay awake, and I fell deeply asleep.

I opened my eyes and was on a beach, in the water, and Finnick and Kai were fishing with a net. I only know I was looking for shells in the sand, looking for them because, strangely, I had a clearer vision of the water than my friends. Still, as Finnick and Kai moved so much, they stirred the sand, and it got into my eyes.

"Stop messing around, don't you see if you keep moving, the sand will move, and I won't be able to see."

"Damn, so early, and you're already getting pissed, girl, see if the hen laid somewhere else."

"Kai, calm down, we can move. Anyway, there aren't many fish here."

"Thanks, Finnick, it's cool that you're not a grump." Kai rolled his eyes and dived into the water to go somewhere else.

"Just because we're best friends doesn't mean we're the same. Well, I'll go follow him, or he'll say I spend too much time with you." I laughed and said goodbye before diving back into the water. It was clearer now, and I found more things, like five mollusks. But they were strange, almost radioactive in color. The first thing I thought was that it could be something from mutts, that it could be poisonous, but so what? I've touched thousands of things supposedly poisonous, and nothing ever happened. I took them, put them in my bag, and went to the shore. I opened one of the shells, and there were a lot of pearls, but they were strange, each a different color, very bright and beautiful, like diamonds. I got up and went to our little picnic, where Annie was with Esteban, one of our friends. He was half-Italian, so his way of speaking was very strange. He was helping Annie with the bonfire while she cut the bread to eat with the fish Finnick and Kai were fishing. It was a sunny summer day, and we didn't have school, so we could spend the whole day here if we could, and I loved that idea. I loved not having worries, no complications, not knowing what was going on, and not caring.

"Marina, show me what you got," said Annie excitedly. I handed her my bag and showed her all the shells, pearls, and artifacts I found.

"I don't have much because the crazy Finnick and Kai were moving a lot and got sand in my face. Oh, wait." I took out the shells and sat on the wooden pieces surrounding the bonfire. I tried to open the last shell I had, but it was very closed. I had nothing sharp; Finnick and my brother had all the tools. I was trying to open it with my teeth when I felt it snatched from my hands, and when I saw Finnick, he opened it with a knife.

"You were going to break your teeth like a fool," he said while stroking my head.

Finnick sat next to me while opening the other shells. When he inspected them, he found many pearls, but there was one very beautiful, navy blue, Finnick's favorite color. I took a fishing line and made a bracelet with the pearl in the center. I took Finnick's hand and tied it on his wrist.

"What a coincidence, I have something for you. Give me your hand." I gave him my hand, and he tied a beautiful bracelet, pink with pearls of different sizes, and a light pink bow. "I didn't make it; I bought it because I saw you liked it a lot when you went with me to the main city."

"Thank you so much, Finnick. I don't know how to thank you."

"No need to thank me. I do it because I like to see you happy."

I smiled and kept looking at the bracelet. When I turned around, there was no one, everything was empty. I got up and walked towards the water. When I dove, I saw an abyss under my feet. I raised my head to the surface, and there was no coast, just sea and more sea with no end in sight. I decided to dive into the abyss and could distinguish a bright light coming from the bottom of this abyss. I went towards it as it got darker, the only light being that sphere that shone like the sun. When I got in front of it, I approached slowly, and when I touched it, it disappeared like a gust of wind, leaving me in complete darkness.

Suddenly, I feel hands massaging my entire body, with a smell of lilacs and... (wait, how come they're massaging my whole body?) I opened my eyes in surprise, and when I did, I saw a guy touching my thighs while I was completely naked. Obviously, I was paralyzed, looking at the boy. He looked at me and smiled.

"I see you're awake, darling. Young Enzo told us not to wake you, but you know, the parade starts in 2 hours, so you need to be ready," he said while stroking my skin. "I'm Fran, by the way. I'll make you look like a queen, sweetheart." This guy was extravagant, with pink hair and wings on the sides of his eyes. He had a very strange voice and an even stranger accent than Enzo's.

Then, a boy with a strange haircut, like a bowl, came in. He had very pale skin and was shorter than Fran. He was with a group of girls with a jar of strange cream. When he approached us, Fran stopped him and said,

"Look at this beauty, not a single hair."

The other boy looked and said,

"Are you telling me you called the waxers for nothing?"

"Calm down, chubby, sorry for not warning you, I was distracted by this girl's skin."

"YES, I NOTICED, YOU IDIOT," he turned and said something I couldn't understand to the stylists. I saw Fran cleaning his hands, finally, because the sensation of creams all over my body was disgusting. I felt the table I was lying on lowering, which made me realize how tall these people were, even the short guy was taller than me.

"You can get down now, sweetheart." I got off the table and stared at him, waiting for a robe. I think he read my mind because he gave it to me the second I thought it. He took my hand and slowly led me to a chair, placing my hands on a kind of board full of tubes like paint. The other boy took my hands and looked at Fran.

"This part you need to work on, her hands are all messed up." Ouch, how rude.

"Matias, stop being such an idiot for two seconds, please," Fran looked at me and gestured for me not to pay attention. Now I know his name is Matias. He stood behind me, took out the hair tie, and my hair fell like a waterfall. He examined my hair strand by strand; it wouldn't be strange if he didn't know how to handle my hair. I don't even know how; it's always been heavy and abundant. My brother never knew how to comb it, the only one who knew was my dad, but I don't remember how he did it, but I always had beautiful curls.

"The amount of hair you have is impressive. All the hair you don't have on your body is on your head." Just when I least expected it, he pulled my head back to pour cold water on it, and my whole body trembled when he did that. I saw Matias laughing; I didn't find it funny.

"Matias, stop being so cruel to the little girl," said Fran, who was filing my nails, while another person, whose arrival I hadn't noticed, was working on my feet. God, these stylists are so quiet.

"The good thing is that you're not as whiny as the other girls we had to fix," said the girl filing my nails. "Their whining is so irritating."

"Wow, I'm curious to know when anyone asked for your opinion. Why don't you shut up and do your job instead of making crappy comments?" When Mati said that, the girl fell silent and looked down.

I saw Matias roll his eyes, and his face showed he didn't like what she had said. He approached me and whispered.

"Spaniards are all a bunch of troublemakers; don't pay any attention to them," he said while putting shampoo in my hair.

"Mati, remember that Enzo told us to keep her curls, no straightening products."

"Yeah, I know, stop nagging me, please," he said as he now poured hotter water on me.

"Stop being rude, Mati, we're in front of a little girl."

"Shut up, Mr. Saint, you're much ruder than I am." Why do they talk so much with SH? But my curiosity got the best of me, so for the first time, I spoke to them.

"Where are you from?" They looked at me, and Fran laughed.

"We're from Argentina, sweetheart. Why do you ask?" he said while placing a fake nail on my real one.

"It's just that you talk funny."

"Ha, look at the world's best speaker," said Matias, and Fran gave him a deadly look. I found it funny, so I let out a small laugh. Fran looked at me and smiled.

"What a beautiful laugh you have, that must be what made your boyfriend fall in love." Boyfriend? What boyfriend?

I heard some "Uyyyyy," and I realized that's in every culture, that "uyyyyy" can be heard even in mine. I don't know how to describe it; it depends on the context, but now it's like an "uyyyyy, she has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend." I'm used to it. When I spent time with Finnick, everyone- Oh, I get why Fran said that. The whole Capitol thinks we're a couple.

After about half an hour, they finally allowed me to lift my head, and I saw my nails. They had a design of sea waves and tiny pearls at the bases of my nails, less extravagant than I had thought. They made me stand up, and Enzo entered with a dress identical to the one I saw before I fell asleep. It was very beautiful, and it was time to put it on, as there was only an hour and a half left before the parade started. I took off the robe, feeling a bit shy.

"Turn around, please," he said very calmly, while he was looking at my whole body.

"Oh, by the way, she has scars on both sides of her waist and neck," said Fran.

Enzo turned me around and touched my scars. I never knew when I got them; I asked my brother, but he never knew either. Besides, he has identical scars to mine, but they are less noticeable. I've always had them for as long as I can remember. Enzo looked at me and smiled.

"They look like gills," he said while continuing to touch those scars. "Well, it's time for you to try on the dress."

I walked timidly towards my dress. Enzo took the dress off the mannequin and put it on me. I noticed it wasn't as heavy as I thought it would be; rather, it was very light. And honestly, I felt relieved, as I remember the parade of the 61st Games where Morena Ríos, a girl from my hometown, was literally dressed in nothing but fishing lines. She was completely exposed. She committed suicide. Without anyone noticing, she got a rope and hanged herself from a tree on the third day, or so they say, because they didn't show her death on screen. Imagine what my fate will be. I obviously won't win, but whether you win or not, from the moment you enter the arena, you're destined for tragedy.

"I see you like it, but we can't waste time; we need to do your hair and makeup," Enzo grabbed me, and we went to another room with the whole team of stylists. I saw many devices there. They sat me in a place with a circular object right above my head. Matias put some objects in my hair and started rolling them up. When he finished one layer of my hair, he sighed as he ran out of those round hair tools.

"My God, you have so much hair. Enzo, can we really not cut it?" I saw Enzo look at him and shake his head.

"Her hair is part of her personality; it's her distinguishing mark. If you cut it, what would be her distinguishing feature from the others?" he said while holding my hand. Curiously, that's what my dad used to say all the time. He loved my hair, loved doing my hair and styling it in all sorts of ways. Now that he's gone, my hair isn't as well cared for.

"If you say so." Immediately, Matias shouted something in English to the Spanish girl, and she brought more of those round hair tools.

When he finally finished doing my hair, he placed that round thing on my head, and Fran started applying some drops of a strange liquid on my face and then put on the foundation. Why does it make my skin lighter? Anyway, Capitol things. After another hour of makeup, they let my hair down, and Enzo brought some sandals with pearls and embedded stones and put them on me. I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror; I was very beautiful. I didn't look like myself. I turned around and gave my stylists a small smile.

"Thank you very much for fixing me up."

"Oh, sweetheart, we didn't have to fix anything; you're the prettiest little girl I've ever styled," said Fran, smiling at me.

"It's true, we didn't have to fix much except your disastrous hair, it was a mess," said Matias. I just looked at him as if I was going to kill him, and he just laughed and said, "But you look pretty, dear," and he winked at me, and I just laughed back.

That's when I realized, I like these people, and they're from the Capitol. How can people who live off the suffering of others be likable to me? Is it wrong? Am I a traitor because I like them? I'm confused. I don't have time to think more as Enzo grabs my hand while saying goodbye to his assistants. I also say goodbye, and then we go towards an elevator. (Wait, is it time already?) I think. When we get in, he holds my hand and says,

"Fifteen minutes until the parade starts. Are you scared? Don't worry; this will go by quickly. Parades usually last an hour or less."

"I know, but I don't know how to act in this parade. How can I win over the sponsors?"

"I don't know if you realize, but you've already won over many sympathizers."

"How?"

"First, what happened at the reaping moved a lot of people. And second, the kiss made you more desirable to the sponsors."

"Desirable how?"

"Desirable enough so you don't die of hunger in the arena."

Before I could ask him anything else, the elevator stopped, and the doors opened, and I saw my brother. He was dressed in a blue suit with stones on the shoulders simulating fishing nets. He also had pearls and emeralds in his dreads. When he saw me, he was talking to his stylist, and he gestured for us to come over.

"Little sis, you look beautiful," he said while grabbing my cheek. I hate that, but I let it slide; it's a habit of his. "Are you ready to give a show?" he said sarcastically.

"No, but I have no choice," I laughed a bit. I know it's not the situation to laugh, but I have to enjoy the little I have left of life. I look around and see that everyone is looking at me, not at my brother and me, just at me.

"Brother, why is everyone looking at me?"

"It's because of what happened yesterday. Thank Finnick."

Oh, just when I managed to stop thinking about it. I think I was very rude to Finnick; he did me a favor in his own way. After all, he has experience in this. He was always good at captivating people; he had many admirers in my town and in the neighboring villages.

"Yes, Marina, say thank you," he walked towards me. He held my hand and put a ring on it. My brother pushed him away.

"What did I tell you about getting close to my sister, you jerk?"

"Unfortunately, it's no longer your decision. The Capitol loved our couple's act, and at least until the games are over, we have to keep this up."

"And what's the ring for?" I asked curiously. It was a beautiful ring, but what's the point of this thing?

"Here in the Capitol, it means you're engaged to marry someone." My brother and I were left with a shocked expression.

"What the hell? Are you telling me my TWELVE-YEAR-OLD sister is engaged to you?"

"First, it wasn't my idea; it was Enzo's." I looked at Enzo, and he just let out a little laugh. "And second, it's only until the games are over." Yeah, because I'll surely die before the games end.

I checked the time and realized there were only about 5 minutes left before the parade started. I looked for Enzo and saw him talking to my brother's stylist, Mags, and Finnick. I touched Enzo's shoulder and asked him.

"And how am I supposed to act in the parade?"

"Damn it, Enzo, you didn't tell her how to act?" Mags said, slightly irritated.

"It's not necessary; she'll captivate so much that she won't need to do anything."

"I agree; she already has plenty of sponsors," said Darana.

"Just wave and hold Kai's hand; that will cause a stir," said Finnick.

Before I could add anything to the conversation, the bells rang, signaling us to line up to enter our carriages. Finnick quickly grabbed my hand and accompanied me to line up with my brother, his stylist, Mags, and Enzo. Then I heard the Panem anthem. I saw the kids from District 1 get into their carriages, and I heard extremely loud screams. Then the kids from District 2, whose screams were even louder, and the kids from District 3, who didn't make as much noise. Now it was our turn, and I saw the carriage and was paralyzed by how beautiful it was. It was painted with sea blue colors, and the front part had the shape of waves, and our horses were painted like seahorses, very common in our district. I was trembling, and my skin had goosebumps. My brother entered the carriage first, and then I entered, and even then, Finnick didn't let go of my hand. He held it and then kissed it before letting go when we started moving. I grabbed my brother's hand tightly.

"Don't worry, sis; they will love you." I don't care if they love me; what matters to me is that you survive. That's what I wanted to say, but I was too nervous to speak.

When the carriage passed under the bridge that covered the view of the exit area, I heard the loudest screams I had ever heard in my life. Children, young people, and adults were screaming my name. I just raised my hand to wave at them, and when I saw everyone looking at my hand and screaming even louder, I looked at my hand and realized what this was all about. Finnick is very smart. Now people think we're going to get married, and they will support the future Mrs. Odair. Yeah, right, as if I could win; they're going to kill me the second I step into the arena.

When all the tributes from the districts were out, we headed towards the presidential mansion, where we were positioned in the front row with a perfect view of the mansion. It was completely white; I wondered how much money they spent on white paint, probably repainting it every month. When all the tributes were in order, a man, who I estimated to be around 70-80 years old, came out onto the balcony. He was a short man with very white hair and a very intimidating face. He began to speak, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I could only catch some things like: dark days, District 13, etc., etc. Cheap excuses for a dictatorship that has lasted much longer than 68 years, and it’s going to continue for a long time.

When the speech was over, they took us back to the apartments. From the inside, they didn't look that big, but from the outside, they were a pile of gigantic apartments, barely reaching the sky, or maybe even more than that, I think. We entered and were guided to a room where all the tributes were talking until we were allowed to enter the elevators. I don't know what happened, but they didn't let us enter the elevators to go to our respective rooms. I was next to a boy from District 1. He was tall, well, not that tall, since my brother was probably a head taller than him. Well, I think, because right now he wasn't here with me (Oh, but where is my brother). Without realizing it, I accidentally kept looking at the boy.

"Hey, girl, are you daydreaming or what?" said the boy I had been looking at by accident.

"What? Do you speak Spanish?"

"And what am I speaking, girl? Chinese?" He said, laughing. "My name is Juan, but for you, pretty girl, it's Juani." He shook my hand and then kissed it.

"My name is Marina, nice to meet you," I said with a smile. He reminds me a lot of Fran, but not in appearance because Fran is thinner, blond, with straight hair and blue eyes. Juani, on the other hand, was a bit more robust, shorter, curly, with brown hair and light blue eyes. But they expressed themselves the same way.

"Marina, how could I not know the Capitol's favorite? And with that stunning dress, how could I not?" I blushed at his comment. Suddenly, some horns sounded, interrupting our conversation. We turned to look at the speakers.

‹‹Sorry for the inconvenience, we had a technical problem. The male tribute from District 7 has been disqualified.››

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically 27

JOYOUS NEWS!!! We are now seeing our first two-parter that is

A) Actually supposed to be a two-parter, and

B) Set in the same time period so we can watch them back to back like you're meant to.

It's just nice to have a bit of normalcy in this deeply stupid watch order.

Anyway: Family of Blood. We pick up where we left off. Tim, aka the boy with the fob watch from Love, Actually, opens it just slightly, which is distracting enough to the Family that Martha promptly punches Mother firmly in the solar plexus, steals her shrimp-shaped gun, and takes her hostage.

"You won't shoot!" says Son. "You're scared!"

"Yes, guns and fear are a famously winning combination, Mummy's Little Genius," says Martha, and tells the Doctor to get everyone else out.

He does not. Human Doctor is still a trembling useless wimp. Instead, Nurse Joan the Love Interest takes over, and herds everyone out.

... and then we get the first of many Very Upsetting Scenes in this episode, as the Doctor turns back to Martha, who is still holding the Family at gunpoint.

"What about you?" he asks.

And Martha visibly steels herself, doesn't look away, and says perfectly evenly, "Mr Smith, I think you need to get your lady friend to safety, don't you?"

And he leaves her.

... fuck me, this one has more emotional resonance than that time Amy got shot by her plastic fiance

ANYWAY

Martha is then menaced by a scarecrow and yet still manages to get away. To their credit, the Doctor an Joan are waiting for her outside, at least, and they all run back to the school where the Doctor gets all the school boys to unload the guns and get ready to fight in preparation for Very Upsetting Scene #2. But just before it, we get given an emotionally charged warmup that punches our hearts out the backs of our ribcages like Mortal Kombat characters, as my excellent friend Maia once put it, because as the Family gather outside with their scarecrow army, the headmaster goes out to talk to them.

It's such a good exchange and so incredibly acted and edited that I literally looked up the quote:

Headmaster: Well I warn you, the school is armed. Brother: All your little tin soldiers. But tell me sir, will they thank you? Headmaster: I don’t understand. Brother: What do you know of history, sir? What do you know of next year? Headmaster: You’re not making sense, man— Brother: 1914, sir. Because the Family has travelled far and wide looking for Mr. Smith, and oh the things we have seen. War is coming. In foreign fields, war of the whole wide world with all your boys falling down in the mud. Do you think they will thank the man who taught them it was glorious?

I literally cannot convey how well delivered both that "Tell me sir, will they thank you?" and that "Do you think they will thank the man who taught them it was glorious?" is. The little blond inbred lad who loves dragons on Game of Thrones. By god. Sweet christ does that boy deliver the hell out of those lines. My husband literally GASPED.

Meanwhile, we have what passes for a pallette cleanser in this episode - Martha is tearing the study apart looking for the watch, and Joan the nurse comes to speak to her. Martha tells her she's a doctor from the future.

"Don't be ridiculous," Joan says. "You can't be a doctor, you're a woman and black."

I mean I know I said Freema Agyeman is not... the BEST at acting. And I stand by it. But the LOOK she levels in this scene, my lord. Somehow, in spite of only saying the words "Oh, do you think?", she manages to convey the sentiment "Let me just disembowel this bitch real quick."

"Bones of the hand," Martha says, and lists them all.

"You read that in a book," says Joan.

"YES, TO PASS MY EXAMS" says Martha.

Anyway, it's enough to convince Joan that her new boyfriend is an amnesiac alien (we've all been there, sis), so she goes off to talk to the Doctor. She asks him to describe Nottingham; but he can't, other than facts. And he has the first hint of a breakdown. He does NOT want to be a Time Lord.

"But you know this is wrong," Joan says. "These are children, going to fight the Family. The Doctor wouldn't want it. Nor would John Smith."

Tim is setting up with Classic White Bully Hutchison. But he decides that he needs to do something else with the watch to help. "It's okay!" he tells Hutchison. "You and I will survive this! I've seen us in a WW1 trench in 1914!" and then runs off, as though that is remotely comforting.

Which sets us up nicely for Very Upsetting Scene #2. Outside, a truly unfeasibly large number of scarecrows has now amassed (when did the family make all these scarecrows??!?) The shooting begins, a hymn playing over the top as these weeping, sobbing children load bullets into machine guns and fight supernatural terrors...

And the Doctor, standing there with a loaded rifle, cannot bring himself to shoot a single shot.

Fucking. Harrowing.

Anyway then Daughter-of-Mine turns up and shoots the headmaster for not listening to black women or somethign IDK Martha told him to stay back, he told her to fuck off, the Daughter killed him. Seems fair. Freaks the Doctor out though so everyone retreats into the school, the Family in hot pursuit, and then it's Chaos for a bit until the Father turns up with the TARDIS.

And then we get Very Upsetting Scene #3, as the Doctor cries and begs to be allowed to stay human. A good man, with a good life, in love. This segues into Very Upsetting Scene #4, where Joan takes them to the house of the Daughter on the well-reasoned grounds that the real child who used to be the Daughter had parents who would have tried to stop their little girl from leaving, and been killed. The Doctor lashes out at Martha.

"You're his companion!" he rages. "What good are you, exactly? Why does he need you?"

It is SO fucking upsetting. Poor Martha.

Anyway then Tim turns up with the watch, so THAT becomes Very Upsetting Scene #5, as the Family start bombing the village i.e. St Ffagan's village square, and Martha is telling him to open the fucking watch, and the Doctor is now screaming and begging and pleading to be allowed to live because he doesn't want to go and become someone else. But Joan realises he has to - otherwise, the Family will consume a Time Lord, and then they'll live forever and destroy everything.

She tries to convince him. He says he wants to stay and love her, but knows he won't as the Doctor. And then they touch the watch together and so they both see the life they could have had together INCLUDING THE CHILDREN WHO NOW WON'T EXIST and fuck me we all need therapy forever. Who okayed this. Who allowed this on television. Why must David Tennant be so good at acting.

So it's a bit of a shame it's then all downhill from there tbh.

Obviously, he opens the watch, although it happens off screen, so in this watch order we have had THREE SEPARATE WATCH STORIES but still haven't seen one be opened. He blows up the Family's space ship, and then... well, it's a bit weird. Bit fairytale. He suspends each of them in time in some way so they'll be imprisoned for all eternity, including trapping the Daughter in mirrors... somehow, bit vague on the details. "He ran from us to be kind," the narration says dramatically. "To spare us the rage of a Time Lord" and whoa there Mary Sue, we're back on this bullshit.

A final scene with Joan, with upsetting exchanges like

"Could you change back?"

"Yes"

"Will you?"

"No"

It's another difficult scene, but then it ruins itself by doing the old "People here died because you came and that's your fault" thing, which is eternally boring and terrible and I wish successive showrunners would stop doing it. The Tortured Man Pain side of the Mary Sue. Fuck off.

Anyway, the Doctor and Martha hug it out back at the TARDIS, which is sweet. Tim turns up.

"I've seen the future," he declares. "And I know now what I must do."

You're very intense, Tim.

The Doctor gives him the old watch, and away they go. I hope they're off to an ice cream planet where twelve-fingered aliens give great massages. Martha needs some serious aftercare.

Flash forward. Tim and Hutchison are staggering through a WW1 trench. Tim realises it's the moment from the watch vision he saw, and makes them dive right out the way of a shell. He saves Hutchison. Then Hutchison says "I'm not going to make it."

"Oh yes you are," declares Tim. "Didn't I promise you, all those years ago?"

Tim. It was last year.

ANYWAY this episode was fucking harrowing. We've now seen what the fob watches can do! But no further plot threads I don't think, nor any resolved, so the list remains... extensive.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest.)

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole (And Nardole was “reassembled???”)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

What has happened to all these companions and where are the new ones coming from?

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

What’s With The Silence?

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Who is Captain Jack Harkness? (Is he the one who gave the companions a warning about the lone cyberman?)

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window?

What’s with the Doctor’s future involving getting shot by an astronaut?

Is Amy pregnant and why is it inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

Who did the Doctor lose to Cyber Conversion?

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What’s with the Weeping Angel statues, and why can’t you blink at them?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi.)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

What happened with Amy’s pregnancy?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?