#ngl as long as it's not stomach sick I kinda like feeling sick. like. very strong and compelling physical sensation. it's a sensory thing.

[neverendingford]

.

[evangelineshifts]

Y’all someone needs to tell me to try and open my eyes first before I just assume I’m in my OR still and try to shift again I’m so sick of myself. This has happened to many times 😭😭

To explain:

I’ve been sleeping practically all day cause I have a cold and I’ve been trying to sleep it off. I was dreaming and in my dream I realized it was a dream and started trying to make a portal. That never works for me though so I switched to affirming that I’d wake up in my DR. Now I always panic in lucid dreams cause I haven’t been able to reach rem state in sleep for a while so they never last but this one did (I’m gonna say it’s bc of the alpha waves I had on) so I quickly went to an elevator and got in and another girl came in too and some how I knew she was a shifter as well so I hope she made it alright. And I affirmed for my DR as the floors went down and then all of a sudden my vision went dark I felt like I was falling through the sky. I could hear wind whistling in my ears and ngl I was kinda freaking tf out 😭😭 but I kept calm and then it stopped and I felt like I wad coming to my senses again, like I was almost getting used to the position my body was in. I could feel that I was laying on my stomach, my head turned to the left, I wasn’t as propped up on pillows as I was in my OR (but again I didn’t really register that). Things were different is what I’m trying to say but all I could focus on was that I was still hearing the alpha waves I had on in my OR (which has happened when I’ve shifted before I still heard what my headphones were playing but it faded out eventually) and because of me hearing that I completely disregarded any other feeling of unfamiliarity and hyper focused on that. Because I did I assumed I was back in my OR and my affirming didn’t work so I didn’t try to ground myself instead I leaned in to the feeling of that in between state and felt my self sink into the surface I was on until I was falling again and I was back in my dream. This time I was less confident though; more desperate. So when affirming I was kinda unfocused, I was being quick and jittery; I was anxious. I felt myself falling again but this time it was nearly for as long. And my vision only blacked out for a moment before I looked like I was flying over a town but what I was seeing didn’t make sense which I now know means I had fallen back in to my unconscious dream. I kept affirming but it was unsteady and unsure. I woke up back in my bed in my OR and now I’m a little upset cause I’ve done this to myself too many times but I’m also very excited cause this was the first time I’ve genuinely tried shifted in awhile and it worked immediately. I felt myself there 😁😁😁😁 thank you to alpha waves 🙏🏾

P.S- forgot to mention this all happened within the span of 30-45 mins (???) cause I had woken up to go to the bathroom and then went back to sleep but I had checked the time before hand. Weird.

✧ dividers by @benkeibear !

[sorrowful-personage-family]

Affection and lust.. What's the difference..?

꒷꒦꒷꒦𓆩 ♱ 𓆪꒷꒦꒷꒦

TRIGGER WARNING- MENTION OF SA

CHARACTERS- Laito, Ena

AUTHOR NOTE- Not a long fic (I hope) just a small scenario to hopefully boost this blog a bit (ngl it do be kinda a ghost town ere☠️) but I just wanted to go into Laito and Ena more cuz I like their dynamic tbh (tbh they really just are like Reiji and Chousoka but with more genuine teasing and insulting each other-) So I very much hope people enjoy this :) (I gotta get better at protraying Laito's character-)

@crimson-mayhem tagging u cuz CAN'T BELIEVE U FORCED THIS UPON ME 🙄 now u gonna face the consequences 😈 JKJKJK Nah you just inspired me to write this-

꒷꒦꒷꒦𓆩 ♱ 𓆪꒷꒦꒷꒦

Love is real, no matter how you seem to look at it love exists. It's like a unstoppable force of energy that hits you in the chest so painfully. At least... It hit Ena in the chest so much it hurt. Not a good hurt.

Love exists, love is more painful then pain itself. It brings unwanted emotion that makes you grow insane with lust, affection. Sometimes you have to step back to then remind yourself of the difference between lust and affection. They both go into the love category. But for some reason we are told they are two different things.

When trying to bring someone up into adulthood. Lust should not be the first thing introduced to them first. Affection and lust are different, if your introduced to the wrong thing your idea of love gets boggled with.

𓆩 ♱ 𓆪

The room was quiet. Nothing but the sound of Ena combing his hair, the sound of Ena sipping on Champaign. Maybe if you listened hard enough you could hear him drowning himself in his own sorrows, drinking himself dry.

The feeling of his hands caressing Ena's shoulders, up and down moving to his face. Hands so cold like no other as if these hands aren't there, they aren't there.

"Don't touch me..."

"But I'm not..? Fufu..~ What are you thinking about hmm..? I'm all the way over here I can't possibly touch you." Laito chuckled. Ena could have sworn he was alone but no, here he was sitting in Laito's bedroom. He was simply to busy wondering off into space to notice. "Maybe the champaign is making you go crazy, or.. Perhaps your thinking about something dirty..~? Ohhh I wonder what that could be." Laito teased.

"Tut... Don't be stupid, I just... Thought you were touching me, just go back to your stupid word game things or whatever it is that you find interesting.." Ena avoided the question, he could have sworn he was touching him.

"Hey hey don't ignore the subject..! Come on tell me, pleaseee..~ I won't tell anyone okay..? It's just me and you after all."

"Piss off.. I'm interested in making conversation." He sipped more from his glass, suddenly his cup was snatched right from his hands. "Haah..?! Hey give that back to me..!" Ena reached for his cup but Laito put his arm back.

"Ah-ah-ah~ Not until you tell me what you were thinking about. Come on I've grown bored sitting in silence." He smirked, something about bothering Ena breaking him till he fell to his knees. He liked watching him cry or burst out emotion. "Come on, tell me."

"Tch.." He sat back leaning back into the chair near the bed. "What do you think about love... Laito."

"..?" He looked at him, confused. He fell back his bed on his back looking up at the ceiling thinking about the question. "Love.. Non existent I'd say, 'I love you' why you can say that to just anyone and it might just get them to bed." Laito spoke. "Why do you ask..? Don't tell me you've started to 'fall' for me..!"

"Haah..? Don't be idiotic as if." Ena scoffed. The mere thought of loving Laito made him sick to his stomach. "I have no particular reason, my perception of love is similar though I believe it exists."

"And why's that..?"

"It just is.. I don't the energy to explain further." Ena looked down, at his pale ghost like hands. "My father.. He was gross and the object of my hatred. So he found things to love."

"Hmm..? I've heard stories of that man. I truly wonder what being raised by him must of been like. So what did he love..?"

"What do you think..? That brat of course, everyone likes that thing.. Everyone I can tell from looking at you with it that you like it to." He clutched his hands. "However it seemed it wasn't enough so he ravaged at other things as well.. He was a monster a demon even though he was human."

"Really now..? Just what else did he like to ravage on..? Do tell could that be what you were thinking about..?" Laito smiled, sadistically.

"Nn..." Ena grabbed onto the wine glass, finally being able to grab it from Laito's hand. Pouring more of the toxic liquid he oh so loved. "Anything and everything that moved.. Me to be exact, my mother. I heard even watched him attack and ravage her like a animal.. Yet..." He paused, the thought of his childhood memories circling back to those times made him feel dizzy. "His attention... His affection, he felt... It always went to the brat.. Always... It wasn't fair...—"

Crack. The glass in his hand broke splattering all over the floor, his hand bleeding mixing into the champaign liquid onto the floor. He breathed heavy, he hated that Laito could crack him open like a nut cracker. He hated his eyes, his sadistic smile, teeth and voice.

"Fufu..~ Seems I asked too many questions.." Laito laughed "I got what I wanted to hear though.. Me and you are alike in a sense aren't we..?"

"Don't be ridiculous... A human and a vampire alike..? You sound idiotic." Ena's hand grew numb, maybe it was just the alcohol in his system talking making his body feel numb. Could have also been the talk of his past as well.

"I suppose it does" He tilted his head looking off to the side, he had to admit it did sound a little stupid. "But that's not what I'm really getting at."

"Then get to the point..."

"You and I both know what it's like to love someone so much it hurts.. So much so that it just turns into burning hatred." Ena blinked in confusion. "You can feel them right..? You hear them whispering into your ears and you can't do anything but listen.. Me and you are alike because we grew up from lust and bad affection."

"..." He stayed quiet for a moment, then laughed for what felt like a long time. "Comparing yourself to a mere human..! A human from a clan whom killed most of your disgusting kind. Honestly you really are something Laito..! What a joke..!!" Laito continued smiling, Ena truly hated that.

Ena found himself in hysterics laughing himself senseless. At this point it was most likely the champaign. Laito reached for his bleeding hand. Not to care for it but to grab it. Ena smacked his hand away. "I don't your sympathy...!"

"Pfft... I wasn't sympathising with you, far from it actually. You're a sad human but I can't help but be interested in that sad person you are." Instead of his hand, Laito grabbed Ena's wrist pulling him to his bed, climbing on top of him. Their green eyes both aligned together.

"I'm not sad... I'm not angry... I don't care about Sumire or my father... None of them... No one..." His voice quiet. Ena's feet touching the glass and champaign on the ground cutting his feet a bit.

"You're right, you are a mere human, a human with human emotions.. Emotions you let run your life" His face closed in near his ear, his hand tightening Ena's wrist. "You're sad, an angry person.. Fufu..~ I know just from the way you are that you do love Sumire. No matter how hard you try you'll always love her."

"Haah..."

"It's funny.. Such a proud figure easily broken down if you pull at the right strings... Right memories, oh those painful painful memories.. Haah..." Laito opened his mouth, near Ena's neck. "You're weak.. So very weak.. You'll never admit it but me and you are alike even if it's only slightly.."

"...!!" Ena swung his left arm up, pushing Laito off of him he ran out of the bedroom. God why did he even go into that cage in the first place..? Maybe it was because he liked the smell of the room, not the room maybe it was Laito he enjoyed the smell of.

He slammed the door behind him. Leaving Laito alone once more in his bedroom. He smiled, he smiled once again. There honestly just was something about pushing that man to the breaking point that amused him. They were alike, even if only slightly. Laito wanted to see every ounce of emotion come out of him. Because it was funny a sick joke to him.

Raised on lust, no matter where they went. They felt hands crawling up their spins, the tiny whispers of no one in their ears. The feeling of being unclean, dirty and all.

Love is real. But it's painful, so mindlessly painful not even physical pain can compare. Ena and Laito knew that much.

꒷꒦꒷꒦𓆩 ♱ 𓆪꒷꒦꒷꒦

[dokifluffs]

Head Pats | Akaashi, Hinata

Pairing: Akaashi X Reader (gender neutral), Hinata X Reader (female) 

Genre: comfort fluff!!!~~

Author’s Note: i’ve said it so many times but OH TO BE Y/N !!! hinata;s is actually kinda angsty ngl sooo ah ha ha 

Warnings! implied time skip. No spoilers for Akaashi but spoilers for timeskip hinata!! 

Head Pats | Suga, Atsumu 

gif from @rivaillerose 💛💛

Akaashi: NOTE - R/N is restaurant name

“I don’t know this.. I don’t know this…”

Panic

It was all you could feel in ever bit of your soul as your heart sank after reading question after question, skipping the ones you didn’t know

But doing this only brought you to the end of the test where you didn’t know anything

Panic

Everyone progressed through their exam in a timely manner and here you were

It felt like you were the only one who wasn’t moving their pencil in the slightest bit

You stared at the words on the test paper before you, all the pencil sounds surrounding you — you felt like such a failure

Like all the hours you spent, all the effort you put into this course, and maybe others, were all for naught

You took a deep breath as you gathered yourself, pushing through your exam

As you took it, some questions were actually fine, majority was alright but they all made you feel uneasy with your answer, making you doubt everything

Sitting in this lecture hall, how grand and tall it was yet here you were, so small. This room used to be filled with your professor’s voice yet here it was — silence

“Time. Pencils down.” Your professor’s voice cut through eh silence like a blade. “Close your packets, slide them into your envelope and pass them down your row. Students at the end of the row pass the envelopes down.”

The shuffling of papers and whispers made your head dizzy, your heart trembling as you closed your final exam

You were done

It was finally over

“All tests are in, you are all dismissed. Have a great summer break!” your professor smiled

Everyone gathered their belongings, chatting amongst themselves as they shook the professor’s hand on the way out

“It was great to have you in class Y/N,” your professor smiled so kindly as he shook your hand one final time. “Have a great summer!”

“You too, professor,” you forced a smile but as soon as you stepped out of the lecture hall, you could hear all the complaints from your classmates as they complained about the test

“I honestly gave up bro, like I didn’t know anything” a guy commented freely as he walked toward the exit

“Bruh I know like I remember him teaching the material but that was it.”

Hearing all the comments sort of like this eased you just a bit but just knowing that you were going to see such a bad score

It made you sick to your stomach, making everything feel wrong

The warm summer sun welcomed you as you stepped outside of the hall

You felt so miserable, all you wanted now was Akaashi, his hand to pat your head and to shoo everything you felt that made you feel so stuffy

“Y/N,” a voice called

The sound of this voice brought tears automatically to your eyes before you could even look up to see the owner of this voice

Your body seemed to move on its own towards your boyfriend as all the emotions and tears that had built up within you during your exam came rushing out

he smiled to you as if nothing was wrong in the world when everything felt wrong 

he wore black jeans with a white shirt and navy blue cardigan with the sleeves rolled up

You wrapped your arms around him, burying your face into his chest and shoulder 

“Oh, Y/N, was it that bad?” He stroked his hand on your head 

“Mmhmm,” you nodded, stifling all your cries and whimpers the best you could but you knew it was already too late - you could feel how swollen and stuffy your nose were 

“I feel like I didn’t know anything and it was so frustrating and depressing to just sit there.” You buried your face into your palms, trying not to break down even more when all you wanted to do right now was to disappear 

“I’m sorry, but it’s over, alright?” Akaashi rubbed your shoulders as a way to comfort you as he smiled at others passing and staring at what was going on but he could also hear the others complaining about the exam you had just taken 

“Y/N?” he leaned down, carefully parting your hands from your face, smiling once you opened your eyes to him. “I brought you these since I know I haven’t been able to really support you properly while you were studying.”

he handed you a bouquet of your favorite flowers 

your lips trembled even more as you cried tears of something else from his loving gesture 

“What’s wrong now?” he laughed as he rolled down his sleeves, using them to dry your face, a sound so pure from him, it made life feel alright 

“N-nothing, I’m just so happy to see you,” you lowered your head down once again only for akaashi to wrap his arms around you, kissing the top of your head 

“negativity begone,” he repeated the words in between every kiss as he gently rocked the two of you side to side 

“Come on, let’s go to R/N, hm? We can talk about anything you want and we can do anything you want now or after, okay?” 

Bonus: 

your sniffles felt like they were never going to end as you sadly drank your drink, letting it refresh you as Akaashi adored you from across the table, happy that your tears and sadness and frustrations from your exam were no longer 

The restaurant was empty as cars whizzed by outside

your heart sank hearing the email notification from your professor  

upon opening it, your soul left your body as all the tears you thought you were done shedding came bac for round two 

“Y/N! What is it?” Akaashi’s brows knitted together as he had never seen you so emotional before 

you couldn’t even begin to speak or try to - all you did was show him your phone

“Hi all, I know this semester was very tough but you all know how much I care about the class. This final exam was not an actual exam nor will I actually be giving one. As for your final grade, I have based that on today’s attendance so everyone will be passing. Have a great summer.” - your professor 

it was unbelievable but all your worries for the last couple of hours were for nothing 

Gif from @rivaillerose​ 💛💛

Hinata: note - pedro is hinata’s roommate in Brazil and he works as a delivery boy to make money 

the door shut behind his body, enclosing him into his dark bedroom, the only source of light coming from outside was from the streetlamp and the bustling night market 

he leaned back against the cool wooden door as it separated Hinata from the lively atmosphere of the rest of the house as Pedro watched One Piece on the TV 

the floor made a loud thud as his body slid down the door, disappointment filling him up as he thought about what had happened 

the new wallet Natsu had gifted him before leaving to Brazil was nowhere to be found in his fanny pack as he ran his deliveries 

for once, the human sun didn’t feel so bright 

he signed as he looked to his dark room, bits and horizontal lights from the street casting onto his wall through the blinds 

the street lift bustling on the street right outside as usual 

a sinking feeling felt like it was only getting deeper and deeper inside his chest as he hugged his arms with his knees, a cool breeze from the floor brushing his legs 

he really screwed up losing his precious wallet

he had never felt so dumb 

his groans and sighs filled the room as he sat in his pool of self disappointment, slowly sinking deeper and deeper 

until his phone rang 

it rang with his bright ringtone, lifting the mood instantly since this particular ringtone was dedicated for you 

everyone had their own ringtone in his phone 

and it was like a breath of fresh air when he sighed, grateful he didn’t lose this today 

He opened the flap of his case, his face suddenly illuminated by the device in hand 

“Shoyo!” you beamed, your bright aura illuminating through his screen even into the darkest places within him, eradicating as much negativity as you unintentionally could 

“Y/N, hi!” he beamed, almost completely forgetting his major bump in the road 

“How are you doing? How was your day?” you asked, the sun shining on the side of your face from what he could see on his phone 

you were clearly still in bed but then again, you did just wake up 

“It was alright...” he tried to smile, trying to be okay but there was just something deeper about this hurt inside as it pooled 

even talking to you - when you would almost always heal him, right now, he couldn’t feel too much of it 

“I uh, lost my wallet today, so that’s bumming...” he rest his phone on his bed as he held it up with his hand, his chin resting into the side edge of his bed

“oh no, the one Natsu gave you?” you asked, hoping it wouldn’t be too serious. “Could you like call the police station and ask if they find it or if it like turns up?” 

“No.. it’s not like back home...” he sighed, clearly dejected 

your thoughts scurried as you thought of alternatives, thinking of ideas that you could possibly suggest to help him find it 

“How’s home? how’s everyone doing?” he asked, his voice light and soft, airy as if he had just woken up from a nap, his question reaching back home, back to the place he longed the most

where he wished he could be right now...

“shoyo, lean forward,” you smiled warmly, able to see his somewhat lagged, pixelated face through your phone

“what?” he asked confused 

“just bring your phone to your head. Im gonna pat your sadness away even though I can’t really do it how I normally would, but better than nothing.” 

He did as you asked, bringing his device to his forehead, feeling the warmth of the screen, feeling the breeze from his cracked windows open, letting his imagination take flight, imagining it was you that was here with him 

you sitting on the edge of his bed, patting his hair, playing with your tangerine as you normally would, his head resting in your lap 

“shoo shoo,” you cooed, silly, hoping this would help in the slightest 

he could hear the pat of your hand over your phone’s mic 

but there was just something 

this sudden hit of the real life that was his right now 

he was so far from home in a foreign country, chasing his dream when so many others his age right now would be at school, planning a career and their future for themselves 

and you 

you were so far 

his family, his friends, you, god you 

his nose sniffled as subtle rumbles sounded in his ears, his eyes blinking, widening with every blink to hide the sudden pink in them, the tears lining his waterline 

he kept his phone to his head, subtly seeing the glow of his screen through his closed eyes, wishing you really could reach through the phone or at least he could just be back home soon 

but there was quite a great time before this could happen and he knew it vividly 

“shoyo? You okay?” you held your own phone, turning onto your side so the sun no longer shined right into your eyes 

there was just calm breathing from his end before an airy “mmhm..” 

“Tsuki got promoted at the museum and I’m gonna be going out with Yachi later today, and then Yams is gonna join us..” you paused, still not seeing his face 

“We’re all doing okay, sho. So is Natsu and your mom,” you chimed cheerily for him. “They miss you just as much but don’t worry. You’re gonna be home before you know it and I just know you’re going to blow everyone away with how much you improved.” 

“I know you will, Sho. All the time you’re spending there will pay off..” you paused. “Even Kags thinks so, haha. We hang out together sometimes and he pretty often goes off about how you better be ready to go against him cause of your guys’ never ending battle.”  

“Thank you, Y/N,” and that was when you finally saw him. 

he smiled brightly with tears streaming down his cheeks, dripping off his chin 

these words

your voice 

this is what he needed 

he needed this more than anything to satiate the homesickness that grew within him every single day 

he needed to remember these words - that you and everyone are supporting him all the way across the world

bonus: from Chapter 371 - On The Other Side Of The Globe (vol 42/54) 

~~~~~

Thanks for reading! Masterlist for more! Please do not repost anywhere else!

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[leejeongz]

nsfw a-z BX (cix)

🔅requested by: @bruisedbananas thanks 👀a whole lot👀 for requesting this hehe🔅

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

super fucking snuggly and happy. he takes great care when cleaning everywhere not to neglect you too, so he often innocently showers with you (even if it’s annoying that you can’t both get water at the same time) and takes the sheets off the bed when you’re doing your night routine. he thinks sharing water is a romantic activity (in a jokey but also not jokey kind of way) so that’s always a thing too.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on you, he likes your jawline and ears (is this just me being hopeful?) did you guys see that dance video thingy where he went straight for seunghun’s ear to kiss it 👀🤚🏼. this man loveeessss kissing and biting your ears and seeing the effect it has on you.

on him, he loves his eyes/eyebrows. they’re so expressive and let you know EXACTLY what he wants. he might get a little shy telling you, but he knows that you know just from looking into his eyes. he loves that they have that effect on everyone xo.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

anything that will make a mess. doesn’t really want to finish inside you unless you fully agree to it and you’ve spoken about it. he feels it’s much safer and a lot more satisfying to cum on your face or on your back. he likes that way it looks, when he looks at it, it’s a reminder of how he felt and usually makes him wanna go for another round straight after.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he prefers getting head to actual vaginal or anal sex. not that he’s selfish, he will always pleasure you. he just prefers the way it feels, the way you look, the eye contact brings him closer to the edge than eye contact during “actual” sex. god he just loves wet sloppy head and fucking your pretty little face until you ✨cry✨.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i think he’s had 1 or 2 partners but he’s not all that experienced. like he maybe did it once with each one. but he receives head every week because he can- he knows what to do when you suck him off lol.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he likes doggy but nothing will ever, EVER beat good old missionary. he likes “accidentally” leaving his chain on and watching it hit you as he fucks you. wow he’s so kind. in this position, he can also give you as much attention as you wish and has easy access to all of you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i wouldn’t say humorous but definitely smiley. he loves you, he loves doing naughty things with you, he loves making you his, of course he’s gonna be happy.

when he’s in one of his super horny moods though… an expression change is very unlikely, let alone a positive, happy, smiley one.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

tends to just leave it and just go natural. sometimes he’ll shave completely but he doesn’t really like it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

it depends entirely on his mood. most sex is sloppy and sleepy but romantic and soft, with lots of praise and “i love you”s thrown around.

some sex is distant, with very little care for romance or softness. this is quite rare, but when it happens it’s very intense and unforgettable.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

probably does this quite frequently to relieve stress and just idk escape? usually does it at night when everyone else is asleep because he can get a little 🤫groany🤫 but like… in a good way.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

bdsm- knife play- i explained this a little more in the “risk” part but he lovesss the vulnerability this creates. the trust you’ve given him to do this makes him feel more connected to you romantically too. i mention this in the “volume” part but he likes to say nothing during knife play, behaving a little crazy just for your fantasy.

praise (giving)- when he’s in one of his soft moods, he loves to tell you how good you’re making him feel. his favourite thing to tell you is “there’s no one better at x than you”. he wants to make you feel like it’s all worth it and that he’s never going to leave you because you’re so good (but not in a manipulative way, like he’s serious about it).

gagging 👅- he gets off to you gagging on his dick because it really brings it home that he’s THAT big. he also likes makes you suck on his fingers, especially while he’s fucking you, so sometimes they accidentally (on purpose) go a little too far down and would you look at that, you’re gagging again.

maybe also daddy kink 👉🏼👈🏼 but he doesn’t wanna be basic so he never lets on.

urophilia- ok don’t hate me bc i wrote this (bc we do not kink shame in this house) but i do think 😳 he’d be more than down for showering you in his piss. of course this has to be something you’re into and comes into play only when you’ve discussed it a whole bunch and when you’re both in the mood to do it. he’s not just gonna piss on you for funsies.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

at the dorms in his shared ;) room. maybe you’ll get caught, maybe you won’t 🤷🏻‍♀️. he likes both of you being comfortable too so somewhere like his bed is preferable (he won’t use their beds tho that’s not his style)

also likes public toilets but only clean ones lol bc dirty ones can really dampen the mood. restaurant toilets 👀👀 after you’ve put your hand on his crotch 👀👀 after HE put his hand on your thigh when he knew you were horny even before you left the house 👀👀

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

pretty much everything. you could do something completely innocent and he’d be like “what are you doing? are you doing that on purpose?” and ur like no i’m just ?? washing the dishes. but he’s too turned on by this point to care about your response anyway. most likely in these instances, if you’re not up for it, he can contain himself or takes it elsewhere to deal with it alone

when you lick your lips or bite them… that’s the thing that gets him going the most. in that moment, he just wants to feel your lips wrapped around him until he busts all over your face.

he also gets really turned on when you laugh and smile at him but he’s yet to work out if that’s a sexual thing or not

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i said he likes gagging you with his dick and his fingers but he would never take is as far as making you throw up. a real big turn off, even if he’s never experienced it he knows he doesn’t like it. of course he’d help clean up if it did happen (if he could stomach it) but he’d never do it on purpose and all sexual activity would stop there for the time being.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

as i said before he likes nothing more than being sucked off. he likes putting his hand under your chin or the back of your head and forcing your head down further. he’s quite verbal when his dick is getting sucked but he’s sick of telling you to look at him so he makes you look at him by putting his hands on either side of your head and tilting it up occasionally.

his skills with his tongue are no fucking joke. he could be down there for just 30 seconds sometimes and you’ve already cum over his face. it makes him super happy when you get giggly and excited when he goes to eat you out.

he understands that some people don’t really like to receive, so he’ll only do it if you want him to, but after he’s finished you’ll be wanting him to go back down on you again and again.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

i think he would be quite sloppy ngl. so he doesn’t really have a set pace, just a happy medium for himself. he can get quite rough when he’s not tired, especially when he’s about to cum.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he likes the risk factor of a quickie in say public toilets for example, but the quickie itself doesn’t really do much for him. unless of course, you’ve teased him enough to only last those few minutes (but the teasing is more likely to be the other way around wink wink)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

with the right person, yes. he doesn’t want you to feel obligated to accept whatever he wants to do so he doesn’t experiment that much, but he’d like to. i think he’d like to bring bdsm into the bedroom but only if you’re 100% okay with it.

talking to eve makes me think he likes knives YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME?! like he’d love to show you the blunt knife, blindfold you, and then gently drag it across your skin. of course this would take a lot of practice to perfect but he thinks it would be worth it for you if you get stimulated by knives.

he kinda likes the idea of getting caught too. like if it actually happened he’d probably be mortified but the possibility of one of the other members walking in on him fucking you ugh he loves it. kinda thinks he could teach people how to fuck you right if they ever caught you too but is NOT prepared for that to happen lmao. also not prepared to share you either :)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

2 rounds. he gets turned on thinking back on what just happened and wants it again almost immediately. byounggon sex god me thinks. like no other man hehe.

although he doesn’t last too long the second time. his stamina is probably cut by 5 minutes and there is far less foreplay involved.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

not really a fan of toys. would much rather see you get off to him and him alone. i lowkey think he would get jealous if you used a toy lol. would go to the extent of hiding all your toys and acting oblivious when you couldn’t find them. “oh well, i’ll guess you’ll just have to use this instead”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

a whole lot. A WHOLE LOT. and he realises it. like i said, his eyes do all the talking, even if he is teasing you, you know what’s about to happen anyway. he’s probably gonna toy with you and tease you even before foreplay, just so you beg for even the slightest touch. he’s got you wrapped around his little finger, but it’s only fair since you have him wrapped around your little finger.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s actually not too loud, except for when he cums. at that point, he’s groaning and almost whimpering. sometimes he does it as a warning to make you stop sucking his dick because he doesn’t wanna drag your head away when your mouth feels so good.

during intense sessions, he’s silent during sex. both you and him agree that it adds to this “crazy guy” persona that he takes on and it stimulates you both a lot. you being the only one moaning can make you feel a little insecure, a little vulnerable, and it’s something you both enjoy in the moment.

for less intense sessions, he will sprinkle a little bit of dirty talk and praise because ur doing good and he wants you to know that he likes what you’re doing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he leaned down a little, his length naturally coming out of your mouth.

“kiss me” he growled. you sat up a little, lips meeting his for the nth time that night. he pulled away abruptly and replaced his lips with his dick once again.

“open” he pried your mouth open with the tip and looked down at you in admiration. “how much are you gonna take this time?” he asked, smirking.

“all of it” you managed to muffle out.

you felt his hand come to your chin, firmly grabbing it and forcing your head down further. he always tells you he’s going to be gentle, but the only gentle thing you can feel in his thumb stroking your cheek absentmindedly. you’re afraid to mention it in case it stops.

“i’d like to see you try” he responded between subtle groans.

you’d been trying for a few minutes, yet you could only take half, and by now he could see it wasn’t working, time for a new method. he pulled away from your mouth and hinted that you should lie on the bed, which you did so immediately.

“turn over” he demanded “and have your head over this side” you patted the edge of the bed. you lay on your back, head dangling over the side, waiting for him.

“you might cry” he warned, before attempting to put the entirety of his dick down your throat. you gagged and he backed away, pleased with himself.

“again” he warned, repeating the action. “you’re taking my cock so well”. he’d done it, you’d taken it all, multiple times. he quickened his pace, your throat already feeling sore.

soon, he completely forgot about warning you, you were too dazed to register it anyway. there was spit all over your face, all over the bed surrounding you, all over him, who was a few seconds away from cumming. he managed to pull away from your mouth in time, releasing his cum all over your naked upper half.

“look at the mess here” he groaned “you’re such a naughty little girl” he said while making his way around the bed, getting ready to give you the best treatment you’d ever receive.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

👀 okay so first of all he’s in cix soooo we all know that they’re ALL blessed.

i think he’d be just a little over average length but girthy as FUCK. he likes using the phrase “stretch you out” because he knows his dick is phat lol.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

when he’s with you, his brain doesn’t immediately go to sex, but he is constantly horny (like most people let’s be real). he’s down to do it when ever you are, it’s less about when he wants it and more about when he can have it (do u get me i feel like that was v broad lol)

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he REALLY wants to stay awake and cuddle with you but he’s tired. like super tired. as soon as his head hits the pillow he’s out like a light.

i'd just like to clarify that i think he can switch between hard dom and soft dom, that’s why there’s not one real heavy focus in this (not that there always has to be roles anyway ofc). but either way he’s definitely a dom and he’s almost always one for dom/sub sex (wth is the phrase for that omfg)

[denqis]

the bakubros walking in on their fem! s/o masturbating

warnings: should be obvious, smut, 18+

kaminari denki

- you two used to satisfy each other's libido's almost daily

- but ever since moving into the ua dorms this kinda stopped

- training kept you both busy and exhausted

- plus, sneaking into each other's rooms in the middle of the night was way too stressful in the long run

- especially since aizawa had almost caught you two in the act

- it has been two weeks since you last welcomed denki to your room

- you were so horny it was insane

- during training denki accidentally ripped his shirt and the exposed abs made your mouth water and sent a pang to your heat

- right after training you had him pinned against a wall, panting from running from your classmates

- "i need you to fuck me against this wall right now or i'll go insane."

- boy oh boy he was so overwhelmed

- usually he was the horny one initiating everything

- ngl he was pretty riled up too but

- "i'm sorry hon, but i promised kiri to train longer with him today."

- you were very very VERY horny and disappointed

- "well you might as well tell kiri to suck your dick then because i won't do it anymore."

- you just left

- this wasn't really like you but you were desperate and h o r n y

- that night you had an amazing bath and finally felt at ease

- you laid down on your bed, only in your bathrobe and rubbed your freshly shaven, soft legs together, sighing

- your left hand found your left boob and you instantly melted into your touch

- another sigh fell from your lips

- the fingers of your right hand ghosted over your clit

- as soon as you felt just how wet you actually were you inserted one finger into your core

- your back arched and denki's name escaped your lips

- two weeks without sex was way too long

- another finger followed and soon you were a sweaty, shaking mess, moaning denki's name over and over again

- you felt the familiar knot in your stomach and felt tingles slowly starting to spread

- just when your orgasm was about to crash down on you, you noticed another presence

- there he stood, your boyfriend

- "honey?!"

- holy shit he was embarrassed but also so turned on

- he initially came to you to apologize but he heard your moans from the hallway

- at first he was scared that you might've hooked up with someone else

- but when he heard you moan his name he just felt bad for not satisfying you

- "mind if i help you out?"

- you stood up and walked towards him, your juices slowly running down your legs

- "not at all."

- you grabbed his hand and laid it flush against your heat

- "go on, chargebolt, make me cum all over your fingers."

- you were so close it only took a feverish kiss and a few plunges of his long digits in your core for you to finally cum

- your orgasm was so intense you almost fell back as his name and a few curses spilled from your lips

- "fuck you're so hot."

- the two week wait was worth it

- he devoured you that night

- he'll definitely ask you to masturbate in front of him a lot from that point on

kirishima eijirou

- "eiji babe, truth or dare?"

- "dare, of course!"

- "i want you to make out with bakugou for two minutes."

- the room fell silent

- you, kirishima's own girlfriend wanted him to kiss his best friend, in front of everyone?!

- looking back at it you probably should've at least warned your boyfriend about your desire to see him with his best friend

- they didn't end up making out and you were so embarrassed that you stormed out of kiri's room where you had planned to stay the night

- the next morning he confronted you and tried to understand your point of view

- a few days after you went to the pool with the bakubros and kiribaku somehow ended up on top of each other

- gosh you were turned on to the m a x

- their godlike, wet bodies in such a compromising position made you wetter than the water in the damn pool

- you swifly excused yourself and fled to your room where you quickly stripped down and rinsed off

- your mind was full of them

- you loved kirishima, a lot

- he was so fucking sweet and hot at the same time

- the sex was great too but bakugo just amplified all his great traits

- your moans flooded the whole dorm, thank god everyone was still at their respective outings

- "what the fuck y/n?!"

- kirishima stood right in front of your bed, judging by his huge bulge for a long enough time

- "if you want me, just tell me. or do you only want me and bakugo now? am i not manly enough for you?"

- he crawled towards you and you shivered

- his eyes were so dark, if from lust or anger or both you couldn't tell

- "i'll make sure you know who's the manliest guy here."

- he fingered you for hours, overstimulating you severely

- "tell me, who's making you feel this good?! me or bakugo?"

- "you! it's you! eiji, you're fingering me so well, fuck!"

- you never dared to even look in bakugou's direction after that incident

- you didn't need to masturbate anymore, kirishima kept you nice and filled at all times

- because having your girlfriend masturbate eveb though you're dating her just wasn't a sign of manliness

- it was your birthday and he led you to his room, blindfolded

- "happy birthday."

- you lifted your blindfold and there they sat

- both naked and hard

- it had taken kirishima months to convince bakugou

- this was the only and last time you were allowed to masturbate

- "don't even think about this happening again sweetheart."

- you didn't need it to

- you realized that kiri was the man of your dreams

- your sex life only improved further after your birthday

sero hanta

- you had been crushing on hanta for the longest time

- specifically ever since the usj attack

- kurogiri had obviously taken a liking to you

- you were one of the main reasons tenya could escape as you distracted him with your ass(ets)

- but as soon as tenya had fled, hanta pulled you back with his tape, your back hitting his broad chest

- "if you ever look at her again i'll make sure you'll regret it you disgusting pig!"

- ngl his heart was racing at having you so close to him, ass against his crotch

- while he was praying to not get hard right then right there, you were shaking in his arms, flushed a deep red

- both of you remained like that until mina raised an eyebrow and sent a smirk in your direction

- how she was still able to think something inappropriate in a situation like this was beyond you

- "thank you so much, sero. i really appreciate it. no one's ever defended me like this. now let's kick some ass."

- if he wasn't attrackted to you before this, he definitely is now

- this night you constantly replayed the happenings

- every time his words replayed you threw a pillow across the room squealing

- shit, you couldn't be whipped for a classmate this early on

- you were here to become a hero, not to find love or get distracted by boys

- little did you know that the boys had a meeting in hanta's room gossiping about you

- kirishima was so jealous of how manly sero was

- mineta wanted to know how your ass felt

- oh and he bragged, the boy was enjoying his five minutes of fame

- truth be told he never was popular with girls so he's just so proud he could impress you

- a few months later and your crush grew along with your desire to have him use his tape for something else than hero work

- "y/n you like sero, right?"

- mina is so smart how did she know?!

- you were so flustered and didn't know what to do or say

- "m-maybe?"

- mina's plan was working perfectly, hanta would come out of the shower in a few more seconds

- she knew he only ever snuck out the shower with a towel around his waist

- his room was right across from the showers, it was convenient

- what she didn't plan, though, was a completely naked, semi-erect hanta to show up

- while she quickly ran for her life you were frozen

- "u-uhm..."

- your pussy clenched around nothing, heart beating out of your chest

- his eyes scanned you while your eyes were glued to his abdomen

- who knew he had extremely prominent abdominal v-muscles and a happy trail

- you were done for

- that night you didn't get any sleep, sero's figure keeping you up

- you had masturbated to him before but this night was so intense

- "has anyone seen y/n?"

- sero had planned to confess to you today, but you skipped school??

- no one knew why and he was worried, what if you were sick?

- he went back to the dorms and knocked, once, twice to no avail

- when he heard a stifled moan he decided to let himself in, you sounded distraught

- but what he saw was you on all fours, fingers pumping in and out of your aching, dripping core

- you didn't hear him knocking because of your airpods and your insane focus on the picture of sero on your phone

- "instead of masturbating to me you could simply fuck me, you know?"

- you screamed so LOUD

- "oh, baby, don't scream already, you'll scream enough when i'm done with you. you want me so bad that you're skipping school? i'm honored."

- you didn't know what to do, but seeing him strip out of his uniform and crawl onto your bed

- pressing your upper body down into the mattress and eating you out as if he had been starving for years

- did something to you and when he sat you up and confessed you could only kiss him

- he'll never let you live this down and every bakubro pretty much knows about it because he always tells the same stories when drunk

bakugou katsuki

- katsuki had told you once that you're forbidden from masturbatring when dating him

- you had obeyed his rules and especially this one for almost two years now

- needless to say the busy schedule of your boyfriend had kept you two separated

- sex life? absent.

- you couldn't take this anymore, plus you really wanted to be a brat today

- you knew when he'd return to the dorms and knowing him he'll head right to bed after

- so you settled on his bed, pulling out a vibrator and slowly starting to guide it all over your body

- you were wearing your cutest set of lingerie

- which was usually reserved for very special occasions but if you wanted to be a brat you had to go all out

- everything around you smelled like him it was heavenly

- before the vibrator even reached your core you were dripping

- if it was his scent, your libido or the adrenaline on purposely breaking the rules responsible you couldn't pinpoint

- the vibrator reached your clit and you almost squealed in pleasure

- it had been so long since anyone had touched you

- you bit down on his shirt he wears to sleep, drowning in pleasure and his scent

- "katsuki, katsuki, katsuki."

- his name was falling from your lips like a mantra as you ground yourself against the toy and your fingers

- "well, well, well. who do we have here?"

- his face was unreadable

- "breaking the rules princess? and i really wanted to fuck you today..."

- "you can still fuck me.. please katsuki, i'm so horny."

- he smirked and leaned down

- "brats don't get what they ask for, now continue. put on a good show for daddy."

- he didn't touch you once that night, only palming his cock and instructing you

- when you came a third time and collapsed he sighed

- "too bad i was really enjoying the show. you were impatient and broke the rules. you can't even be a good slut, i think we have to teach you a lesson, no?"

- the next morning you shakily walked into the classroom

- bakugou's shit eating, cocky grin following you

- when you sat down you almost let out a breathy moan

- your vibrator was tugged neatly into your panties and was set on the highest setting

- you were so embarrassed and on edge the whole time and when aizawa called on you

- you stood up, the change in position making you cum, hard

- your head fell back, your whole body shaking and face red

- "y/n, can you answer my question?"

- you could barely form a sentence when your knees gave in, trembling from your second orgasm crashing over you

- "i'll take her to the nurse."

- you thought katsuki would have mercy on you and remove the vibrator

- but instead he pushed you into a bathroom stall and fucked you senseless

- by the end of it you were on the bathroom floor, uniform stained with his cum and unable to walk on your own

- "learned your lesson?"

[jihyuncompass]

RFA+V+Saeran with a sick MC

I realize this concept has been done to death by this point but I really wanted to take a shot at it, I’m still learning how to write headcanons and find my own style so I hope you enjoy! 

Zen/Hyun 

This man doesn’t get sick are you kidding? 

Not only does Zen heal at an inhuman speed but despite drinking and smoking frequently he has the immune system of a God. 

So when you’re sick he isn’t super familiar with all the remedies and things to do when someone is sick. 

One thing he is good at though is giving you attention and affection. 

Need some cuddles? All you have to do is ask and he’s all over you. 

Doesn’t like seeing you sick and unhappy but he does like how cute you look when you’re asleep curled up with a blanket on the couch or in bed. 

Makes you some tea to help soothe your sore throat and holds you close while you drink it. 

He’ll feel extraordinarily guilty if he has to leave you to go to rehearsal or a show but expect for him to come back and immediately give you hugs and kisses to try and make up for his absence. 

He loves you so much and isn’t scared of getting sick himself. So expect him to be just as affectionate with you as you would be in full health. 

Yoosung

He kinda knows what to do to help you?

(He calls his Mom)

Makes you some soup that his mom would make him when he wasn’t feeling well. 

Obviously buys you medicine, he doesn’t have a lot of money but he’ll get the store brand stuff that hopefully will be just as effective. 

Encourages you to rest by watching him play LOLOL 

It’s pretty fun to watch you can’t deny that. 

He’s kinda afraid of getting sick himself so he’s careful around you. He spends a lot of the time that you’re sick cleaning. 

However he can’t help cuddling with you a little bit, even if it puts him at risk. 

He’s not the best at taking care of someone who isn't feeling well but he genuinely tries his best to help you feel better and comfort you at the same time. He’s inexperienced but always has his heart in the right place. 

Probably gets the same sickness after you. Now it’s your turn. 

Jaehee

Jaehee gets sick, but she doesn’t have the time to be sick so she is the type to take a dayquil and then get to work. 

Even after she stops working at C&R and starts her cafe she still is really bad about taking sick days for herself. 

However that isn’t going to fly with you, Jaehee isn’t going to allow you to become a slave to capitalism that she already is. 

When you wake up with a sore throat and a coughing fit so bad that you can barely catch your breath, Jaehee is next to you patting your back until you're coughing fit subsides. 

She makes you a hot mug of tea. 

Considering she owns a cafe the tea she makes is definitely the best cup of tea you’ve had in your entire life. 

She decides to close the cafe for a day to take care of you so that means you get Jaehee all to yourself :)

Musicals all day long, you start working through Zen’s entire musical career while you cuddle together on the couch.

She definitely tries not to get sick herself but you may notice her sniffling a few days later. 

Jumin 

Kind of a mix of Jaehee and Zen, he doesn’t get sick often and when he does he will do everything in his power to try and hide it.

As we all know Jumin is rather protective over you so the second he notices you coughing or your voice sounding raspy his personal private doctor is called and on his way. 

Doesn’t matter if it’s a minor stomach bug or something more serious, with Jumin it is taken extremely seriously.

The chef makes the best meals for you, if he has to go to work then he’ll have the best in-home care nurse come and look after you while he’s gone. 

Though he would feel much more comfortable staying home with you and tending to you himself no matter how long it takes (Sorry Jaehee :( )

You’re given the best medicine money can buy, and the best husband in the world so even if it takes a while to feel better you can’t complain too much. 

Jumin is a careful man so he doesn’t get sick after you, it’s honestly kind of impressive. 

Seven/Saeyoung

Surprisingly good at taking care of you. 

He did have to take care of Saeran when he was sick as a little kid so you guess he has some experience. 

You’re stuck in bed the entire time you’re sick. Don’t even think about getting up. 

If you do Seven’s right there bringing you back and insisting you rest. He’s watching you through the CCTV cameras he keeps in the bunker. He knows.

Can’t cook for shit but he’ll try. 

And then he’ll ruin whatever he tries to make so he ends up calling Vanderwood for help. 

He’s very gentle with you he’ll get you anything you need, spend as much time as possible with you, and if he’s stuck working and can’t be with you directly he’ll build you a robot to keep you company. 

On a joking note he’ll definitely bring you all your food, medicine, and drinks wearing either his maid outfit or the brand new nurse one he bought just for occasions like this. 

(He looks great ngl) 

He’ll only respond to you if you call him “nurse” just to tease you. 

Very good at keeping your spirits up when you aren’t feeling your best. He’ll probably get sick after you too but it doesn’t matter to him. 

V/Jihyun

Activate worried Jihyun mode

V notices that you’re sick pretty quickly. 

If you try and insist that you’re fine, you don’t need to rest, you don’t need to take the day off. He isn't going to force you to lay down. 

He will however give you his saddest, most concerned expression that makes your heart break into a thousand pieces so you voluntarily get back in bed. 

V gets sick the normal amount any person does. He’s usually down for a couple days but then he’s right back at it. He hopes you’re the same way.

This man can’t handle seeing you unwell for long. 

Would definitely work from home to look after you. 

In general he’s very doting, he’s willing to go to the ends of the Earth to make sure you’re taken care of. 

Makes you lots of cups of tea and makes you drink a lot of water to help you feel better 

He tends to worry about overstepping your boundaries so if you want cuddles or any kind of physical affection you’re going to need to ask him for it. 

But once you do he’ll be by your side immediately, rubbing your back, cuddling with you or anything you want. 

He might get sick after you but if he does you’ll take good care of him like he did for you. 

Saeran

Saeran is no stranger to being sick, as a kid he was sick a lot and after continuous use of Elixir while at Mint Eye his immune system is pretty bad. 

He’s used to being sick but he absolutely hates it when you are. 

He feels useless just seeing you coughing and shivering and not being able to do anything about it. 

He’ll cook you anything he can think of that would help you feel better, hot soup with fresh herbs, hot tea and juice, homemade bread, anything he can think of he’s making for you. 

He knows that logically he should keep his distance because he’ll definitely get sick if he stays too close to you but he can’t be away from you for long. 

In general he isn’t one to initiate any physical affection and the same goes for when you’re sick. You need to tell him what you want, and that it’s okay for him to be close to you. 

While you’re sick it’s hard not to notice Ray peeking out a bit, that anxiousness, the worry, the shyness. 

No matter how anxious he is he’ll push through it for you, you’re his prince(ss) after all.

[emeto-no-jutsu]

Could you do an emto fic with sasuke being sick and a parental kakashi taking care of him?

Oooooh okay, my first request....it feels kinda nerve-wracking lmfao ngl

It's not my favorite thing I have ever written??? But enjoy?? And RB if you do??????

Anyway LMFAO enjoy the fic

TW:::::: Emeto, sickness and an emotionally repressed boi under the cut:::::::::

Kakashi frowned as he arrived at his team’s usual meeting spot. Sakura was already berating Naruto this early in the morning, but what caught his attention was the fact that one of his students, who was usually the most punctual, was missing.

“Where’s sasuke?” He asked as soon as he leapt off the railing above the bridge where he’d been observing the scene. Sakura stopped her rant at once, and Kakashi could see the uneasiness etched on her face. Naruto huffed, rolling his eyes at the mention of his teammate with a pout.

“That’s what we were talking about, sensei.” The pinkette explained. “He’s usually the first one to arrive…”

“Stupid Teme probably overslept-”

“Shut up you idiot!” The girl snapped ferociously, making the blond flinch as her green eyes glared at him. “This is Sasuke-kun we’re talking about! If he’s late he must have a good enough reason!” 

Kakashi sighed at their antics, but couldn’t deny that the girl had a point. He’d expect something like this from Naruto, not from Sasuke, and the fact that he didn’t warn the team of his absence beforehand was all the more concerning. “I think we should go check on him, Kakashi-sensei.” 

“Yeah, I think so too,” Kakashi didn’t know if her request stemmed from actual worry or if she didn’t want to miss the opportunity to go to the boy’s house for the first time, but considering how out of character this whole situation was he felt like this would be the appropriate course of action.

Naruto complained a little, promptly earning a blow to the head from Sakura, and soon they were on their way. The two kids followed Kakashi as they approached Sasuke’s neighborhood, reaching the Uchiha’s address not fifteen minutes later.

They were beginning to think Sasuke wasn’t even home at all before the door was answered after the doorbell was rang for the third time, and maybe Sakura’s concern was valid because the boy truly looked awful. 

His bangs seemed to be plastered to his forehead with sweat and there was a greenish hue under his paler-than-normal complexion. His onyx eyes were bloodshot as he glared at them and Kakashi could see the shirtless boy was making an effort to not hunch over. “What?”

“Um...y-you were late for training,” Sakura stammered, ignoring the raging flush that took over her complexion at seeing her crush bare-chested. 

“I’m sick?” The boy stated the obvious. “Didn’t you see the bunshin I sent?”

“In your state, I wouldn’t be surprised if it dissipated before reaching us,” Said Kakashi.

“Yeah Sasuke, you really do look like crap,” Naruto commented, earning a glare both from Sakura and Sasuke, but the latter didn't really hold any force behind it.

“Well, if that’s all then,” The boy tried to shut the door on their faces, but Kakashi pushed it open with ease, letting himself in and willingly ignoring Sasuke’s deep scowl.

“What?!”

“We need to make sure you’re okay, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura said as she and Naruto followed Kakashi inside the apartment. It was all very neat, but you would expect as such from someone like Sasuke. 

“I’ll be fine,” The boy retorted tiredly, not even having enough energy to argue, which in itself was a big red flag. “Can’t you three just leave me alone for once?”

“No, we can’t,” Kakashi responded easily as he watched the boy heavily sit at his sofa, swallowing hard with a pained grimace that indicated clearly that his last statement was a lie.

“What’s wrong? Have you been throwing up?”

“That’s all I’ve been doing since I woke up,” 

“Aw, Sasuke-kun…” Sakura cooed sitting beside him and rubbing his shoulder, but the boy clearly didn’t appreciate the display of affection as he flinched like a cat drenched in water. 

“Look, I’ll probably be fine tomorrow,” He hissed. “I don’t want you all here,”

“Woah there Sasuke, no need to get all snarky just because of a tummy ache!” Naruto teased maliciously through a grin, making the older boy scowl.

“Just...shut up, Naruto,” Sasuke didn’t look like he could come up with a good comeback even if he wanted to. Kakashi narrowed his eyes as his face blanched slightly, a very subtle twitch in his eyebrows that would go unnoticed by lesser shinobi indicated that the boy was focusing every ounce of discipline on trying to not let his face betray how he truly felt. “You would know all about that, wouldn’t you Dobe?” He managed to shoot back through clenched teeth.

“Y’know what Teme-”

“Quit it Naruto!” Sakura roared besides sasuke, making the boy wince. “Can’t you see he isn’t feeling well?!”

“That applies to both of you,” Kakashi spoke up for the sake of his student, who seemed ready to hurl at any minute now and all that yelling they had grown used to could not be helping. “Actually, I need you two to bring some things from the store, after that you’re dismissed for today,”

“B-But Kakashi-Sensei!” Sakura stood up. “Won’t you need help taking care of him?!”

“I’m sure I can handle this myself, Sakura,” The man said, handing her the cash he had retrieved from his pocket. “Get some stomach relaxers, probably something for fever too...Oh, make sure to get him something to drink with electrolytes in it, got it?”

Sakura clearly disappointed at being ushered out the door by Kakashi and even Naruto seemed like he’d rather stay, but they were known for disrupting the peace, and that was clearly not what the raven haired boy needed at the moment.

Sure enough, Kakashi had barely closed the door when the kid shot up on rather wobbly legs and quickly made a beeline to the bathroom. Kakashi grimaced when he heard the loud retch that echoed through the house and followed the boy.

Sasuke groaned when the man kneeled down to his level and started rubbing his back, but didn’t fight it. Kakashi made sure to keep his long bangs out of the danger zone as Sasuke retched mouthfuls of murky vomit in waves. It was clear that he didn’t have much left in him to puke up, but his body seemed to not get that memo quite yet.

After about ten minutes he inhaled sharply, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, slumping slightly against Kakashi. “You’re done?”

“Dunno,” His voice sounded rather slurred, which was uncharacteristic, and closed his eyes. His arms snaked around his middle tightly and Kakashi sighed, not letting go of his shoulders.

“We should probably get you in bed,” Sasuke nodded after a moment of hesitance. He flushed the toilet and stood up on his own, insisting he didn’t need help and Kakashi didn’t try to argue in order to not upset the already sick boy, but he did stay close behind.

Soon he was situated on his bed. “You can leave now,” He said to his sensei, trying to sound sharp but only emphasizing how shaky he sounded. “I can take care of myself.”

“Hmm, can you?” Kakashi humored the boy. “Have you taken your temperature yet? Or tried to keep yourself hydrated at all?” His already flushed cheeks darkened and he avoided his eyes which said no as clearly as if he had said it out loud. “Do you even own a thermometer?”

“Obviously,” He replied caustically and Kakashi ignored his tone as he went on to search for said thermometer. Thankfully, with Sasuke being as organized as he was it didn’t take too long for him to find it inside the first aid’s kid under the bathroom sink. 

he walked back into the room not five minutes later with the emptied trash can from the bathroom and thermometer in hand. Sasuke already seemed on the verge of drifting off to sleep, and Kakashi almost felt bad for having to rouse him up again. “I need to take your temperature, open up.”

“Tch,” Sasuke unceremoniously grabbed the contraption from his sensei’s hands and stuck it under his own tongue. Kakashi just rolled his eyes, that kid was too proud for his own good.

“Well okay then,”  Said him with an exasperated sigh. “Keep that in for three minutes.”

“I know,”

“Of course you do.”

The boy pouted, and Kakashi allowed himself to crack an amused grin under the mask. Even mature and stoic, first in his class, prodigy Sasuke Uchiha was still, at the end of the day, only just a kid. Kahashi saw himself so much in that boy that it was almost painful, but he chose not to dwell on that at that moment.

The thermometer finally beeped, and Kakashi was slightly relieved when Sasuke handed it to him. Sure, he had a fever, but it was far more manageable than the man first thought. His drowsy voice must have been a product of exhaustion and exertion. “You’re gonna be fine,”

“I keep telling you-”

“You still have a fever,” Kakashi interrupted pointedly. “I’m just glad I don’t have to drag you to the hospital because of it,” Sasuke rolled his eyes, burying himself under the sheets. and turning on its side. “Alright, I’ll let you sleep. The other two should be back with your medicine soon though,”

Sasuke let out one of his usual noncommittal grunt and Kakashi offered a concealed wry smile, ruffling his hair like he usually did and closing the door behind him.

When he got to the living room he noticed a small brown paper bag at the coffee table with a little note attached to it. He didn’t know if he should feel ashamed for not even noticing his students’ presence while he was busy with Sasuke or if he ought to commend Sakura and Naruto for their stealth.

He considered giving Sasuke his medication right away, but decided against it. He seemed fine for now and the kid had just gotten to sleep.

“What are you still doing here?”

He would be okay, Kakashi would make sure of that.

------------------------------------------------------------

Kakashi looked up from his book with raised eyebrows to the young uchiha frowning at him from the hallway,though the fact that he was wrapped around a rather fluffy comforter didn’t make him nearly as intimidating . “Making sure my student doesn’t keel over,” Sasuke huffed. “I’m a good sensei,” The look on his face indicated that he was itching to disagree, but instead he just rubbed his eyes, blinking tiredly as he watched night set in through the window.

“What time is it?” 

“About six,”

“Six?” He narrowed his eyes, confusion clouding his features and Kakashi had a feeling he seemed more out of it than before he went to sleep. “But it was morning…?”

“Yup. And then noon, then afternoon. Now it’s evening,” 

“I slept a lot…” The boy mumbled, not picking up the irony. He looked far younger suddenly, with his flushed cheeks and still rubbing his sleep out of his eyes, the comforter making him seem smaller than he really was. 

“Well, you needed it,” Kakashi didn’t miss the way he swayed slightly as he walked up to sit besides him, crashing down on the sofa with a heavy huff. “How do you feel?”

He blinked, considering himself for a moment before responding. “I’m slightly...dizzy,”

“You’re dehydrated,” Kakashi said, pressing his palm against the boy’s forehead and ignoring the groan of protest. “And your fever seems to have gone up. How’s your stomach?”

“Not good,” Kakashi nodded, heading towards the kitchen where he’d already set the tablets and the electrolyte-enhanced water, now regretting not administering it to the kid earlier. He walked back to the room, deciding it’d be better if he brought along a deep mixing bowl too just in case.

“Here,” Sasuke wordlessly took the supplies from his hand and uncapped the water bottle, quickly gulping at least half of it before Kakashi had a chance to stop him. “Oi, not too fast! You’re gonna make yourself sick,” Kakashi took the bottle out of his hands quickly, shaking his head.

“But I’m thirsty,”

“Yeah, I can see that!” Kakashi watched the way his body reacted to the sudden influx of fluid warily, but when everything seemed to stay put he handed the bottle back to him. “Slow sips, and take the meds.” 

Sasuke mumbled something under his breath that sounded awfully like a jab at his sensei but it went ignored as Kakashi walked back to the kitchen and returned with a steaming bowl and a pair of chopsticks each with an unnerving expression that indicated he was smiling behind the mask.

Sasuke groaned, tossing back the medicine and pailing as the smell of food reached his nose. “What is that?”

“Broth and noodles,”kakashi answered with those same smiling eyes that made sasuke want to hide under his comforter.

“Kakashi-sensei,” Sasuke drew a deep breath as his sensei set the offending bowl at the table in front of him. “Please don’t ask me to eat that.”

“I’m not asking, Sasuke.” He said firmly, making the boy wince in aversion. “You need to at least try to eat something,”

“It even won’t stay down…” His voice sounded almost whiny, a quality Kakashi would never attribute to the Uchiha. The man let out a breath, feeling sympathetic towards his student.

“Well, it’s better to have something on your stomach too, y’know, bring up.” He assured, ruffling his hair before pushing the bowl to his hands. “C’mon, you don’t have to eat everything right now,”

Sasuke sighed heavily, closing his eyes as though he was having a very serious internal debate before shrugging, taking the bowl from Kakashi’s hand and taking a tentative sip from the broth.

He was rather pleasantly surprised. The taste wasn’t strong, which he was thankful for, but also not revoltingly bland, the noodles were just the right texture and even in his state he could appreciate good food, and couldn’t help but wonder- “Did you make this?”

Kakashi, who was back to reading his debauched book by that point, smirked at him. Or rather, Sasuke assumed he did. “What’s with the tone of surprise?”

“It’s…” He could feel the broth warm him from inside out, and even though there was still an uncomfortable tightness assaulting his stomach it seemed settled for the moment. “It’s really good.”

“Thanks,” Kakashi ruffled his hair annoyingly. He did this so often Sasuke didn’t even mind anymore. “It’s made with love,”

“Shut up,” He mumbled, feeling his cheeks heat up more than they already were and Kakashi let out an airy laugh through his mask, but soon they fell into a comfortable silence. 

The soup really was good, but something that Sasuke couldn’t quite put into words made it slightly better. it wasn’t a matter of taste but a feeling deep inside him that he associated with it. 

And then he remembered a very similar dish Mikoto prepared for him every time he felt even slightly under the weather and felt his heart clench.

It seemed like as soon as he realized the memories weighed his mind like a brick. He used to fall ill rather often as a child, and every time without fail he would be coddled and pampered by his mother.

And of course, Itachi. 

It was almost set in stone. He’d so much as start sniffling and the house would be filled with those same smells, she’d tuck him in, Itachi would let him sleep with him more often than not. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t think he’d been this sick since-

He dropped his chopsticks as his hands slacked. Suddenly, his ears were ringing as he felt his throat swell up and his mouth water. He couldn’t even hear what Kakashi had said before his head was forced downwards and the bowl of soup was replaced by a plastic mixing bowl just in time for him to let out a wet burp that carried with it a good portion of his undigested meal.

His stomach which had been pleasantly stable for the better part of the last hour felt like it was about to be torn apart as his once pleasant meal rushed out of him violently, barely allowing him any time to breath.

Kakashi had pinned his hair back at one point and was rubbing soothing circles around his back, but he wished he didn’t, as it reminded him too much of a simpler past. Sasuke had grown used to dealing with things such as this on his own, and having someone be so nurturing for the first time in years was almost triggering to him.

His abdomen contracted roughly against his will and he spewed violently once again. His throat felt raw, his sinus was burning with the bits and pieces that got stuck there during the whole ordeal and his stomach felt so sore that he couldn’t suppress the pathetic whine that left him when he was done.

“Kami-sama…” Kakashi muttered under his breath. “You shouldn’t have forced yourself,” Kakashi didn’t understand what had triggered this sudden and severe bout of sickness, but he preferred it that way. He didn’t even truly know himself. “Are you-”

“I’m fine,” Sasuke forced through gritted teeth, but this statement couldn’t be farther from the truth. He was shaking, he could barely breathe without his airways burning, his body pulsated with the strain and his mind was clouded with fever and memories he’d do anything to forget. 

He pushed the filthy bowl Kakashi was still holding under his chin aside and supported his head on his hands, groaning pitifully as Kakashi decided to run a hand through his hair. Why was he doing that? Sasuke wanted to scream when he felt a knot form on his throat and his eyes sting.

He was not going to cry. Not in front of his fucking sensei. He wasn’t a child, so why the hell was Kakashi still trying to comfort him like he was? 

Kakashi pulled Sasuke into an embrace before the boy could really realize what was happening, a hand protectively holding his head while the other patted him on the back. “You’re gonna be okay,” He said, his voice taking a tone Sasuke had never heard before. He tried to pull away because he smelled of vomit and sweat and this was weird, but Kakashi’s iron grip wouldn’t let him. “You are not alone anymore.”

And maybe it was the fever messing with his mind, maybe he was simply too sick to do anything about it, but there were tears running down his face before the man had said those words. A sob escaped his chest, then another, and Kakashi refused to let him go. 

Not being alone was such a foreign concept to him that it was intimidating. How could he allow people to see beyond the mask he had crafted for himself to cope. How could he allow his sensei, one of the most notorious shinobis of his era see him in his most weak, pathetic state?

But when was the last time he was held like this? That he was assured everything would be okay? 

When was the last time he was actually cared for?

And it felt good. It felt so good that he soon found himself reciprocating Kakashi’s embrace and burying his face in his chest. If the man was bothered that he was smearing tears, snot and more than likely vomit all over his flak jacket, he didn’t show it.

Sasuke sobbed himself hoarse that night, four years of bottled up emotions and traumas seemingly exploding out of him at once, and Kakashi never left his side. Later on neither shinobi would ever speak about the events of that evening ever again.

Undoubtedly though, something shifted in their relationship after that. Sasuke thought that he’d lost everyone he would even know as family on that godforsaken day, but family had a way to creep up on you unexpectedly, whether you liked it or not.

Sasuke started appreciating his teacher a lot more than he ever thought possible.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #445

“you’ve got a lot of nerve, but not a lot of spine”

Have you ever created a fake internet persona for yourself? No. Do you enjoy going to weddings or showers? What is it that you like or dislike about them? Not... really. They're triggering for me. And I don't use "trigger" lightly. They legitimately, deeply affect me. It's part of the reason I've lost a lot of interest in being a wedding photographer. Is there a person in your life whom you support by showing up for the sports games, concerts, or other performances? This question, uh... sucks. Because I'm that awful aunt that doesn't go to her nephew's t-ball games while everyone else does. It's the heat that does it, but still... it shouldn't. How many video games do you have? A lot. We have a big case of them. Why did you take the last pill you took? My heartburn is especially awful today. Has a girl ever stayed up with you all night? A guy? A girl, uhhh... maybe? Idk. A guy, yeah. Do you think guys look good with makeup? Hell yeah. How long would you wait to become sexually active with someone you’re dating? That would just depend on how quickly we deeply bond in a relationship. I wouldn't go that far before I knew I was in love with them, though, so it definitely wouldn't be quick. Do you enjoy a good debate or prefer keeping the peace? klasd;jkla;jfklwdj I HATE confrontation, so I strongly prefer to keep that peace. Debates rarely ever stay civil, anyway. Can you ever see yourself and your ex back together? One, easily. The other... I wish. But it won't ever happen because I fucked that relationship up way too much. Are you thinking about anything that’s upsetting right now? Yeah. My PTSD is being really bothersome. Would you ever want to ride in a canoe? Yeah, sounds fun and peaceful. So long as I'm not rowing, ha ha. When did you last see an attractive member of your preferred sex? Did you speak to them? Do you think you’ll see them again? Two days ago. Yeah, 'cuz he was my personal trainer. I don't plan on quitting the gym, so I'll probably see him around there now and again. Have you ever tasted baby food? How about pet food? Save for when I was a baby, obviously, no. I once tried a guinea pig yogurt treat, ha ha. How many times have you had your heart broken? Once romantically, twice overall. Actually, no, four. Quite a jump, I know, but Teddy and Jason's mom both dying was nothing short of heartbreaking. Think of the person you fell hardest for. How many people has he/she been in love with, besides you? One, before me. I don't know about since. Find 5 people on your Facebook friends list, whose names begin with K. Who are these people, and how did you meet them? Katherine: an online friend. We met on YouTube. Kim: she's my stepmom. I met her through my dad, obviously. Kelly: a high school friend. We met in art class. Katelynn: was Jason's old friend's former girlfriend. We met through said friend when we all hung out together. Kieley: she's the wife of who I call my "big bro," a close gaming friend. We met through Sam, the aforementioned friend. Sometimes do you wish you lived in a fantasy world? Yeah, who doesn't? What would you say if the ex who hurt you the most told you they hated you? "I don't blame you" or something to that effect. Have any of your friends dated an ex/previous crush of yours? I don't think it's accurate to call her my "friend," but Jason's first girlfriend and I are friends on Facebook. I'd love to get to know her better and actually be *real* friends. One word to describe the last person you kissed? Strong. Has anyone ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend with you? You could say that. Does your hair have layers? No, not anymore. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom. Have you done something recently that helped someone else, in any way? I don't know. Which Disney princess do you think is the most beautiful? Why? Probably Jasmine. I just think she's really pretty. If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again? I'm terrified to this day to start new romantic relationships. I had so many panic attacks about losing Sara when we first started dating. If you were going to buy a present for the person you love/like, what would you generally choose? Absolutely something Frieza-related. If you met the celebrity that you most admire, what would be the first thing you’d say to him/her? Probably just "oh my god, thank you" and start crying lmao. Is there something you generally always ask for help with? I'm sure there's something, yeah. When was the last time you cried? Today. Do you like sausage? Yep. Ever held a newborn animal? Kittens, yes. Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship? Uhhhh maybe? Have you been called a bad influence? Yeah. Like she had ANY room to talk. Do you get stage fright? Yes. Would you be excited or annoyed if your favorite book was being made into a movie? Both of my favorite books are also movies, and they're wonderful. Do you need structure in your life or do you prefer to just go with the flow? I require structure, for sure. Without it, my anxiety goes rampant. Change is something I do not cope with well. Post a picture of you from one year ago. No. Have you ever written a fan letter? If so, who was it to and did you receive a response? No. What trait(s) would you not want your children to inherit from you? My mental illnesses, primarily depression. I have A LOT of reasons for not wanting kids, and my poor genetic makeup is even one of them. I don't want to pass on all the shit I deal with. What is the worst place you’ve woken up? Waking up in a shitty bed at the ER while waiting to be transferred was never one of my favorite things... Are you the type of person who has to study to make good grades or does it just come naturally to you? Aha... I was lucky in that once I heard something in school, it had a tendency to stick. I didn't need to study very much at all - usually. When on YouTube, what types of videos do you mainly watch? Mostly let's plays. What was the last conversation you had with someone about? Sara and I were kinda fangirling over how cute Maieykio and Rumours are, ha ha. Do you have any currency that’s not your native country’s? No. Can you describe your father in one word? Complex. Do you still watch movies intended for children? Yeah. Hell, I probably tend to prefer them. Who is your favorite stand-up comedian? That's living, probably Gabriel Iglesias. What is your strangest phobia? Probably whale sharks. Which part of your state/province do you live in [upper,lower,middle]? I live on the eastern side. Who in your life can you count on the most? My mama. Would you rather eat your pizza cold or hot? It depends on what I'm up for. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? No, I'm not a fan. Last thing you drank? Pink lemonade. Have you ever thought you were going to marry someone? Sure did. The belief was clearly mutual. But I ruined that. Who are your favorite people to talk to when you’re down? Sara or my mom. Have you ever thought you liked someone, and then found out that you really didn’t? See: Girt. Describe the last dream you had that you can remember. It was actually... really fucked up, so the squeamish beware. I don't remember the details, just the shocking part: a little bird flew into me, and I thought it was a bug, so I crushed it in my hand. Heard and felt the bones break and it was just... ugh. It's nauseating to recall. I'm sick and tired of dreaming of only awful things. Any current family issues? Not any big ones that include everyone. The only "issue" that really exists in my family is how my mom feels like Ashley (my older sister) avoids her, and therefore Mom doesn't see the kids nearly as much as she wants. She feels very overlooked. Whose room of the opposite sex were you in last? When? Uhhh, probably my nephew's? Sometime when I visited my sister's house, idk. The last movie you watched with a friend? Elf, I think. Have you ever played with fire? Uh no, because I'm not keen on being burned. What industry do you want to be a part of when you’re older? Art, in some form. Who do you usually text the most? Since Sara and I started chatting mainly on Discord, definitely my mom. Have you ever been surprised with breakfast in bed? No. Llamas or sheep? Sheep. Have you ever seen anyone famous in the street? No. When do you plan on moving out? Whenever I'm in a long-term, stable, happy, and healthy relationship. I really don't at all think it would be healthy for me to live on my own. What’re you going to be for Halloween? I'd actually love to dress up this year seeing as I've really been feeling the holidays, but the money to like... make a recognizable costume isn't really with us. So I'll ust answer as if I had it, in which case it would be a handmaid from The Handmaid's Tale, but with fake blood splattered over my stomach region. Will you buy a cake for your next birthday? We always do for b-days. Do you like brownies? BITCH I love brownies. Have you ever dressed up as a witch on Halloween? Yeah, as a kiddo. Have you ever been to a masquerade? No. Do any girls like the last guy you kissed? Maybe, I don't know. Do you have a second mom? I have a stepmom, if that's what you mean. When a bee is coming close to you, do you stand still or run away? Ngl, I gtfo. Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex? I haven't hung out with Girt in around a year. Really need to change that. When you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? Fries. What is your winter coat like? ... I actually don't know if I have one? Did you do well at fitness testing in grade school? I did fine. Are art museums interesting or boring to you? Interesting. Inspiring, even. Do you know how to use an ATM? ... No. :x How about write a check? uhhhhhhhhhhh... Are you Italian? Not to my knowledge, no. We don't know my dad's heritage. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? I commented on one of my sister's Facebook posts earlier. Are you interested in photography at all? Very much so. Do you own an acoustic guitar? I don't believe so? Ashley had one when she was waaaay younger, but I haven't seen it in forever. I think Dad might have it. Can you talk to your parents about anything without them judging or bickering at you? Because you said "bickering," no. Mom knows how to pick fights on a lot of things... Who was the last person you took pictures with? My sister when she came to visit a few months ago. What is the wallpaper on your best friend's cell phone? I'd be willing to bet it's either her and Jem or Frieza. Do you melt butter to put on your popcorn? No. We get the movie theater butter kind. Do you consider flirting cheating? Sure do. Have you ever been on probation? No. What is normally on your Christmas list (if you celebrate it)? A tattoo and meerkat stuff. Do you like KoRn? They're one of my favorites! When you were little, did you pick up worms? Do you pick worms up now? Ha, I did. I would sometimes dig just to look for them, especially if I knew Dad was going to take me fishing later that day. I don't like touching worms nowadays. Would you ever go see a stand-up comedian? Yeah, I think it would be fun. Do you have any best friends that you only know online? BEST friends, not current ones, anyway. I've met my current best friend. Have you ever gotten into a physical fight? Nope. Do you have a problem with swearing? No. What do you do when you see a spider? My reactions vary. If it's a tiny little thing, I tend to ignore it. In most cases, admittedly, I get my mom to come kill it. :x I really, really want to get on a level where I can just cup the spider and take it outside. I want a few types of spiders one day (tarantulas, jumping, and velvet), after all, so I really should get used to interacting with them. I know in my gut they're nowhere near as dangerous and scary as your head makes them seem, but it's so instilled in you (most "you"s, anyway) from a young age to stay away from spiders, so it's fighting almost like instinct. Do you have big dreams? Meh... When is your father’s birthday? Sometime in April. The 16th, I think? Maybe. Are you interested in anime? Yeah. They can have some great stories. Do you eat three meals a day? Most days. Are you part German? German and Irish make up most of my heritage, yes. Do you dream of being a porn star? Uh, I can confidently say no. Have you ever been on a farm? I have. What is your favorite type of muffin? Blueberry, I think. I like the moisture it adds to the muffin. What is the last type of salad that you ate? Just your normal one with iceberg lettuce and ranch. What do you usually put on your waffles? A layer of peanut butter and then some syrup. You NEED to try it. Would you rather have a cottage on the beach or in a forest? A forest! Name all the people that you talked to today. Online, through texts and in person. Mom and Misty are all, I think. Do you know a schizophrenic person? My half-sister. Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? If so, who is your favorite? I did. I don't think I had a favorite character. Name the last 3 people you kissed and list one nice thing about each one. Sara: she's very loyal. Girt: he's funny as hell. Tyler: he, uh, cares a lot, I guess? When was the last time you felt EXTREMELY depressed? Why is that? Yesterday, actually. I was passively suicidal just over... a lot of things. Would you ever dye your hair pink? I want pastel pink hair anyway.

[meggannn]

hello do u have any fantasy/scifi/dystopian books to recommend?? i love ur taste in books

UHHHH i’ve been reblogging posts about most of what i’m reading lately so none of this will probably come as a surprise, but off the top of my head......

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin made me cry and was easily the best book I’ve read so far this year. an ambassador from Earth (for some reason this is a cisgender guy) goes to planet full of genderless aliens to invite them to join a intergalactic league of worlds. there are politics, and of course some gender exploration (not perfect but still interesting), but mostly it’s an exploration of the human condition, like most of Grandma Ursula’s books. very good, also heartbreaking, with an enemies/rivals-to-lovers relationship in there, sort of. the first time I’ve liked an enemies/rivals-to-lovers anything tbh.

I just finished Graceling by Kristin Cashore and ngl it was dumb as shit at times but still kinda fun lol cause it had Prince Po who fulfills a lot of my favorite character tropes. it’s a YA fantasy/adventure/romance where people with heterochromia have “Graces” which are like superhuman abilities unique to the person. the main character has the grace of “killing” and for this reason has been used as a weapon all her life by her uncle the king. I’m reading the sequel right now which I think is a lot better so far and expands the world and character depth. there are a lot of POC, the protagonists are (mostly) WOC, and there’s some gender commentary about being a woman with power that isn’t really mind-blowing, tbh I found it kind of trite in the first book, but so far in the sequel I think it’s handled a bit more maturely. I hear the third book gets gud.

if you’re in an Avatar: The Last Airbender mood, I was surprised to enjoy The Rise of Kyoshi by FC Yee and I hear the sequel is as good or even better. it didn’t blow my mind—some things were predictable but others did surprise me at times. and I enjoy Kyoshi struggling her wants with her identity as an Avatar, a pursuer of justice, and also a killer.

the MaddAddam trilogy (Oryx and Crake, The Year of the Flood, and MaddAddam) by Margaret Atwood is probably one of my favorite dystopian books, or “speculative fiction” as she calls it. it’s near-future world where most people either live in corporate compounds provided to them by the companies they work for, or in poverty in half-flooded cities. most of the world is in need of resources. the books follow two parallel stories, one of what happens after a worldwide extinction event wipes out humanity, and the second of how society gets to that point. predictably, it’s a dark and unpleasant read. despite my enjoying it, I have a lot of mixed feelings about this series, it’s super weird on race (like most Atwood things I’ve read) and I didn’t like the last book at all, but I thought the first two were pretty good and enjoyable in a sick way, if you think you can stomach a story of where we might be in 20-30 years wrt climate change, capitalism, genetic modification, and scientific freedom gone rogue. it’s definitely a hard series to read. I feel like I need to give a disclaimer for why I like this one so SLIGHT SPOILERS: personally, I think of Oryx and Crake as like a typical “male” narrative of the apocalypse, where a regular guy who was there to witness the events of the End of Times ends up alone at the end and trying to rough it out by foraging a ruined land for supplies and living day by day, and I think of The Year of the Flood as a more typically “female” perspective, where the apocalypse just sort of happens to a regular woman and her community. then she—eventually they—have to find ways to deal with it and come together to think of surviving the future, not just each day. it’s not to say that one way is better than the other, but I think both perspectives combined make for a fuller view and YOTF really had a sort of light at the end of the tunnel that I found myself hoping for after reading OAC. (meanwhile, the last book.... I ignore it.)

the Murderbot series by Martha Wells is a delight and really funny. in the far-future where humans are exploring the galaxy, a security robot develops feelings and takes on bodyguard and mercenary work as it discovers how to be a person. I’m still not done (and the series is ongoing) but this is a pretty sweet, lighthearted read of a scifi future in which corporations are still awful and technology is still misused, but not everything is terrible and friends can still be made and robots have feelings for their charges.

looking back it is embarrassing how few books by WOC I have read this year, I am trying to rectify that. but also I’m glad in a way that I’m reading at all because this is the first year in a long time i have actually, like, read stuff that isn’t fanfic or comics? and that is entirely because this year I am working in a job that isn’t working me to the bone and have time to read at the end of the day, unlike the previous 4 years, so this list is not as long as I’d like it to be, but so far, the sixteen books I’ve read this year are a lot better than the total of one book I read in 2019, which was a Deadpool novel, so.

feel free to add me on goodreads btw

[pocket-full-of-wonder]

oh ! same anon but i was wondering if you could do number 5 for the drabbles ! preferably w kags asking for help if its not too much trouble 🥺

oh heck yea!!!! most of the qp kagehina series so far has been kags lookin after hina which is BLESSED but i have been meaning to showcase more of the vice versa so thank you v much!!!! ~~

((ngl i had such a hard time deciding exactly wHAT scenario i wanted to go with and bounced through a good 5-6 of them before finally settling on this one and it’s made me want to write a small collection of ficlets centered around the two of them learning to be vulnerable around each other and ask for help more openly jkjlkjlSDF))

((#5: First time asking for help))

Now Available on AO3

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They’ve been living together for two months. In the grand scheme of things, that isn’t a very long time, and they don’t plan to stop at two months, either. Or even two years, granted their impending futures don’t pull them apart–and if it does, and they’ve talked about the fact that it most likely, inevitably will, there’s nothing to keep their futures from aligning again. 

For now, though, it’s been only two months. Long enough for them to settle into a routine, long enough to memorize each other’s good/bad habits and pick up the slack wherever needed. It’s a nice system they have in place of taking care of things around the apartment, who prepares/purchases their meals, who waters the house plants, this that and the other. It’s a system that works and a system they love. Tobio certainly wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

Except, he wakes up one Friday morning feeling like someone’d taken a sledgehammer to his head and mint to his sinuses, and there’s barely enough coherency in his befuddled mind to think oh, no. 

Two months, perhaps, isn’t nearly long enough a time to experience everything that comes with a) being in a partnership but also b) seeing each other sick in said partnership.

Tobio doesn’t get sick often, he never has, but he knows from the moment he wakes up that accursed morning that he’s going to go down hard. That’s always how it’s been; he doesn’t get sick, but when he does get sick, he gets really, really sick. Sick enough that his panicked father has driven him down to the ER at ungodly hours.

But now he’s eighteen, and living with Shouyou, and he has a routine and a job and a crash course of general college ed and a boss and bills and of course a partner, god, Shouyou–

He isn’t going to know, he resolves to himself, barely ten minutes after waking up. Usually the first day isn’t that bad. I’ll power through today and spend tomorrow in bed, I’ll sleep it off.

And power through, he does. Maybe he doesn’t do it well or completely subtly, but he does. He keeps every conversation with Shouyou brief and makes excuses about leaving early when he really doesn’t have to. Shouyou questions the integrity of his words (and his footing, too, actually–Tobio would kick himself for being so obvious if he weren’t already staggering into walls) but can’t discern the problem well enough to call him out on anything. 

So Tobio goes to work that afternoon at a job he hasn’t had long enough to hate or love. He’s only a dishwasher, luckily, and the restaurant’s only open for lunch so he doesn’t even have that long of a shift. He plows through, makes it through. It’s his night to get dinner so he takes care of that, too, bringing home ramen from their favorite hole in the wall joint. Shouyou won’t stop glancing up at him throughout dinner, but doesn’t question him. He does, however, offer to do Tobio’s part of the dishes. 

Which. 

Tobio would say he could power through that, too, but his head is pounding and he’s kind of scared if he moves too much more tonight he’ll throw up and he really, really doesn’t want that. All he has to do is pretend to be okay for just a little bit longer and then tomorrow he can sleep this whole mess away.

“Are you okay?” Shouyou asks later that night. His hands are covered in soap suds and he’s splashed some dishwater on the front of his shirt, sponge in left hand and bowl in right. “You haven’t been acting like yourself today.” 

“I’m fine,” Tobio says (lies, lies, why does he feel like he has to lie to Shouyou of all people?), but doesn’t let go of the counter’s edge. He doesn’t loosen his grip on it, either. He’s not sure he can. “Are you sure you’ve got the dishes? I don’t mind drying them.” 

“Nah, it’s cool,” Shouyou says, shrugging. “I’ve got an audiobook I was planning to listen to, so it’s fine. You kinda look dead on your feet, I think you should go to bed.” 

It sounds like the best idea Shouyou has had in a very long time, but Tobio of course doesn’t say that. He nods, swallows down his nausea and barely remembers to say, “Goodnight, Shouyou,” before he’s turned and stumbled down the hall toward the bedroom. Shouyou returns the sentiment, but Tobio barely hears it over the ringing in his ears. When had that started? Fantastic. 

He faceplants his side of the bed (which is something mutually decided between them, that they never really talked about or discussed, it just sort of… happened) and breathes in a long, deep breath, relishing the ease on his feet and eyes and skull and god, please stop pounding, please stop pounding, please stop.

He clenches his teeth and digs his fingernails into the sheets. His eyes are burning, and he doesn’t know why, and it’s all he can do to turn his face into the pillow and croak, “Sh-Shit,” when he knows Shouyou isn’t around to hear it. 

In the back of his mind, he’s still resolved to never let Shouyou know about this. He’ll just sleep it off, he’ll be fine, he’s fine, this is fine, Shouyou doesn’t have to know. Tobio isn’t going to disrupt this routine, he isn’t going to ruin the first time in his whole life he’s felt 100% accepted and loved. He isn’t going to ruin it. He ruined it once, with old teammates in a worse time, and he isn’t going to ruin it again. 

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Tobio wakes up in the middle of the night and feels like he’s dying. All those times he was sick before, all those times he was hospitalized as a child because his body couldn’t fight off the fever on its own, or because he was dehydrated–nothing compares to this, nothing could. 

His eyes burn with tears before he’s coherent enough to know why. His head is–

Shit. 

Shit, shit, shit, his head–

It overwhelms his thought process, every coherency he thought he had, and it goes ahead and takes over all the coherency he’d been grasping for. It hurts, it pulsates like there are fireworks going off inside of it, ping-ponging against the insides and outsides of his skull, then catching in orbit and spiraling round and round and round androundandroundandround–

He’s not even sitting up why is he spinning– 

He’s pulling his hair, grinding his teeth hard enough to worsen the pounding, squeezing his eyes shut against the impending tears he doesn’t think he has the energy to stop, and no amount of digging his nails into his skull makes it any more bearable, it doesn’t dissipate at all, nothing helps– 

He can feel Shouyou’s warmth beside him, somehow, in the back of his mind and nearly overwhelmed by everything else. Shouyou is sleeping soundly on his own half of the bed, vibrant hair almost too bright to look at in the dark space. Tobio wants to squeeze his eyes shut again but there’s something comforting about Shouyou’s presence in the darkness. Even if he is sleeping. 

Don’t ruin this. Don’t ruin this. Don’t ruin this. 

His head burns. It courses through him like poison, hitting every soft spot and hard spot alike. There’s acid in his throat brought up by the pound in his skull and his stomach is in knots. His chest hurts. He feels like he does after playing a match for too long and trying too hard. Only worse.

Don’t ruin this don’t ruin this don’t ruin this don’t ruin this

He can’t. 

It hurts and it burns and he can’t. 

Don’truinthisdon’truinthisdon’truinthis–

“Sh-Shou–” He chokes that much out before he hauls back, clenching his teeth, yanking his hair, digging his fingernails into his scalp. He hopes he hasn’t drawn blood, but he can’t tell and barely cares. “Sh-Shouyou, please–” 

This time he manages to detangle one hand and reach out, giving Shouyou a poke on the shoulder. Shouyou is the lighter sleeper of the two, and it doesn’t take much to rouse him. He stirs, shifts, and the slight jostle of the bed almost makes Tobio throw up. 

“Mngn? W’ssup?” 

You’re going to ruin it you’re going to ruin it you’re going to r

Tobio gulps back whatever’s in his throat, tears, bile, it doesn’t matter anymore and he can’t tell up from down. “Shou, I–” (Shouyou freezes. Tobio can’t see his face. His voice doesn’t feel like his own and it only worsens the hurt.) “Pl–Please, I–help me–” 

It’s barely audible. He doesn’t know how Shouyou hears it. 

Shouyou is sitting up at once, hands on Tobio’s shoulders. One trails up to touch his face. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Shouyou’s voice is wide awake, if shaky. “What happened? Tobes?” 

“S-Sick.” Tobio forces it out, chokes on the exertion. “My head, I–c-can’t–” 

“Okay.” Shouyou’s voice is somewhat steadier now. But just somewhat. “Okay, okay. It’s okay, you’re okay. Is it just your head? What else?” 

“D-Don’t know.” He thought he’d feel worse waking Shouyou, but hearing his voice, feeling his touch, eases him into a certain sense of calm. It doesn’t ease the pain, but it helps him cope with it. “I-It just–it just hurts, it hurts–really bad–” 

“Okay, okay.” Shouyou’s hand presses to his forehead, smooths back his hair. “Yeah, that’s a fever. Hey–” His opposite hand comes to settle on Tobio’s. “Let go, okay? You’re gonna hurt yourself. You can hold my hand instead if you want, okay? It’s okay, just let go.”  

He gently unclenches Tobio’s fingers from his hair, somehow, and threads their hands together immediately. Tobio wants to cry. He could already be crying for all he knows. Shouyou’s fingers card through his hair and it makes the pain just a little more bearable. Tobio leans into it and tries to breathe. 

Shouyou sits with him and lets Tobio rest his head on his thigh. Everything is muddled and hazy and now that Shouyou is holding his hand, and petting his hair, he can close his eyes again and still have reassurance of Shouyou’s presence. 

“Hey.” Shouyou’s voice is quiet. “Hey, I need to get you some medicine, okay? And take your temperature. I won’t be gone a minute, I’ll even run.”

Shouyou has run through the apartment before, and almost skidded out and concussed himself on the table. Even in pain and barely there, Tobio manages to grind out, “Don’t you friggin dare.”

Shouyou laughs quietly. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, I won’t. But I’ll be back as fast as I can, okay? Hang in there.” 

He keeps his promise (he must) because the next thing Tobio knows, he’s in Shouyou’s lap again with a thermometer being held under his tongue and what feels like a cold plaster on his forehead. He must have zoned out.

The thermometer is pulled back. Shouyou hisses. “Oh. Yikes. Okay, but it’s not as high as I was scared of. I think you’ll be okay–I’m still gonna give you some medicine, though, do you think you can stomach it? Was that a stupid question?” 

Tobio turns his face into Shouyou’s stomach with a moan he doesn’t remember making. Shouyou’s fingers run through his hair again soothingly. 

“Okay, we’ll wait on the medicine. How’s your head now?” 

“Distant.” Shouyou is a good distraction. He’s just loud enough and just present enough. Never too much. “Th-Thanks.” 

“Aw, you don’t gotta thank me. But you’re welcome, anyway. Does anyone in your family get migraines? My mom used to get them–maybe being sick triggered one?”

Tobio is zoning out again. Something about Shouyou’s voice is just. Nice. It does bring up the pain in his head, but it’s a worthy trade-off. 

“Is this why you were so weird today?” Shouyou asks, in a voice that suggests he already knows the answer and isn’t expecting one, anyway. “You should’ve told me sooner, stupid. I would’ve helped.” 

“S-Sorry,” Tobio croaks, and somewhere in the pit of his stomach not yet claimed by nausea is guilt, just as sickening. “D-Didn’t… wa-wanna throw it all on you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Wanted you to be able to rely on me.” His head still pounds but it’s a little easier to talk, now that he’s been doing it. “Gotta keep up with my half of the d-deal. C-Couldn’t… let you down.” 

“Oh my god are you for real?” 

Tobio has to bite the inside of his cheek. “I…” 

“Wait, no, seriously. After everything we’ve been through, all those years, every volleyball match and every confided secret and literally everything, you don’t think I rely on you?”

Tobio shrinks back and feels suddenly small, vulnerable in a way he hadn’t meant to be. “I–I don’t know.” 

Shouyou sighs, but there’s no small amount of endearment in it, and he strokes Tobio’s hair again and squeezes his hand.

“I’ve always been able to rely on you, Tobio. Little things, big things, all of it. I don’t think there’s ever been a time where I felt like I couldn’t trust you.”

“B-But–” Tobio tries to think, tries to find logic behind his emotions but he’s in pain and he feels terrible and Shouyou is just, Shouyou and he can’t filter himself. “But you can’t now, I-I don’t know if I c-can do everything I’m supposed to tom-tomorrow or th-this week and I–” 

“Tobio.“ Shouyou cuts him off, flicks his shoulder lightly. “You are. So stupid.” 

It’s said with such fondness that it makes Tobio’s head spin. Again. “Wh-What?” 

“’What’?” Shouyou repeats in the same disarmingly sincere tone. “Tobio, I love you. You know that I love you. And maybe we’ll be burdens on each other every now and then, but that doesn’t–change anything. That’s just part of what it means to have relationships, sometimes we do have to pick up each other’s slack. And I don’t mind picking up yours, because I love you. You do the same for me all the time.” 

Tobio’s heart is tight, and so is his throat. “I-I–Shou–” 

Shouyou’s thumb traces his cheek, and it’s only now Tobio realizes he’d started crying. “I know you’re sick right now, and you don’t feel like yourself, and this is probably a conversation we should have when you’re feeling better, but. Yeah. Sorry, I should’ve saved the emotional compromisation for another time, huh?” 

It draws a hoarse laugh from Tobio, one that quickly turns into a pained yelp that has him clenching his teeth and Shouyou wrapping an arm around his shoulders to pull him in closer. 

“Sorrysorrysorrysorry,” Shouyou hurries, a little frantic. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were gonna laugh–It wasn’t funny, moron, you’re ridiculous–” 

Tobio gets his breath back, and his head is still pounding, but this time all he can feel is worn down and exhausted. Especially with Shouyou holding him this close, with Shouyou this warm, with his hands stroking his hair and side.

“Really, though, Shou,” Tobio breathes out. “Thank you. I’ll tell you. Next time.” 

“Good, good.” Shouyou is calm again, and it calms Tobio further. “You should get some sleep, I’ll turn off your alarms for tomorrow. And if I wake up and you’re doing chores, I may in fact kick you.” 

“Noted.” 

Shouyou squeezes his hand. “Take it easy, alright? I love you.”

“Love you, too.” 

Shouyou hums an acknowledgment, and strokes Tobio’s hair gently long after Tobio has fallen asleep. 

[rosesanthology]

Not as Bad as i thought | Matsukawa Issei x reader

Okay so i've been thinking about this scenario for a WHILE now and im,,,,,not mad at how it turned out ? Lmao y'all see for yourselves

- songs :  ��� savage remix by Megan Thee Stallion feat Beyonce

                 • kimi no nawa theme song

- weather association au : dusk (i dont even know if that's seen as a weather but oh well-)

[Tags] : @raevaioli asked sooooo👀 @haikoo

- you weren't really sure how long you've been walking for

- you tried to recall the events from today with much difficulty as you strolled on the sideway at 4pm, still in school uniform but much messier than when you first got out of the house this morning, backpack lazily thrown over your left shoulder

- "and there goes a perfectly good weekend" you sighed, not talking to anyone in particular but yourself or maybe the occasional stray cat

- your house wasn't even close to the way you were going and you couldn't care less

- your phone had data anyway you could just search your way back in google maps (｀ε´)

- plus it's not like you walked across the whole country and you already called your mom to make up some excuse

- "we'll talk when you get back." She had told you over the phone , you were pretty sure that the school had informed her of what happened

- thinking about it made you sick to your stomach so you opted on just focusing on how much of an anime MC vibe you were giving off right now instead !!!

- i mean, basically running away after school to go on unplanned walks with a messy uniform while listening to the new savage remix by Megan and Beyonce ???? Pretty badass ngl (◡︿◡✿)

- if only your balance wasn't -2/10 then maybe you could even skateboard and act like you were in an indie movie

- but back to the matter at hand

- the anger swelled up inside you as you started to think over what had happened

- you were in the midst of a chemistry class and you had been paired up with none other than your toxic ex who made you feel like crap for the most random stuff

- you were literally just vibing trying to adjust the microscope and he just HAD to shove you out of the way because, allegedly, you "didn't know how to do it", causing you to back into another girl's test tubes and bunsen burner !!!

- WORSE IS THAT THAT GIRL STARTED YELLING AT YOU FOR RUINING HER WORK !!!! like damn it's not your fault

- luckily the teacher was kind enough to aknowledge your apology and scold the girl for yelling but still !!! You were angry !! (⋋▂⋌)

- so angry that you may....have started crying in class just cause beating the living hell out of your ex was just not something you could do and not get at least detention for-

- the embarassment of it all had caused you to storm out of the school at the first chance you had, not wanting to murder your ex or anybody else if they made any comments

- you were taken out of your internal turmoil in the middle of the sidewalk by the smell of the sea and well,,,,,the sight that was literally right in front of you

- not to be sappy or basic or anything but a good sunset never failed to make your heart go doki doki from the pretty colors(●´ω｀●)

- you didn't even notice time passing or the sky painting itself like that

- weird huh

- what a world we live in

- anyway you truly felt like things were meant to be at the moment you set foot on the soft sand (you'd have taken of your shoes if it wasn't for your socks preventing you from it)

- in this moment of awe you stuffed your phone and earbuds in your bag and made a run for the water !!!! Excited to see the cute riples of foam closer !!!

- and then you fell.

- FACE FIRST IN THE SAND BABY

- and you would have been fine if it wasnt for the loud sound of someone SNORTING AND CACKLING BEHIND YOU LIKE ?????

- FIRST OF ALL YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE ALONE ????

- AND WHO TF DARED ???

- THE GUY DIDNT EVEN HELP YOU HE JUST CAME UP TO YOU AND LET OUT A

- "Damn ive never seen anyone so eager to bite the dust !" And then laughed again !!

- ●︿●

- thats where it dawned upon you that this guy was one of the third years from your school's male volleyballl team !!!! If you remember correctly his name was Matsukawa Issei but did it really matter ???

- it was someone from school who was laughing at you ???? You Y/N L/N

- the embarassment came crashing onto you like the waves on the shore and in a second you were sobbing

 - the hot tears were rolling down your cheeks at high speed and you swore you heard Mattsun gulp when be realised what was going on

- "w-wait sorry...i didn't mean to make you cry" he didn't really know what to do so his hands were just hanging in the air as he knelt down in front of you

- ⋋_⋌ you mustered up the energy to glare at him thru your glossy eyes but really it looked as intimidating as a hamster- haha what no, the middle blocker's heart totally did NOT skip a beat with the pouty hamster + sunset color palette combination !!!! Not that you'd notice anyway

- instead of kneeling there awkwardly he opted for picking up your backpack before sitting next to you, putting his knees up to his chest and staring at anywhere but your very embarassed self

- "i really mean it you know ? Sorry for making you cry..." MATSUKAWA ISSEI STOP BEING A SIMP FOR SOMEONE YOU JUST MET CHALLENGE YOUR SUN PISCES IS SHOWING KING

- "its not entirely your fault...." you managed to say between hiccups, "ive kinda had like....a really really bad day"

- ".....i see" i sEe HeAdAsS you should have thought about it before laughing at Y/N like that !!!

- after that you didn't really know what to do

- i mean yeah grabbing your bag, flipping him off and then going back home sounded like a tight plan but at the same time,,,,,the sound of the waves was calming and the sun was pretty   (●´ω｀●)

- and little did you know that as you were too focused looking absolutly enamored with the sun itself Mattsun was looking at you trying to think about how the hell he was going to keep the conversation and the vibes going when you're just sitting there looking like THAT

- it was like that one scene in Kimi no Nawa when Taki and Mitsuba see each other for the first time sodjdisnakaka

- except that he was the only one staring but that didn't really phase him

- "you know-" ah here it comes

- he started talking so he'd have to go thru with it until the end

- he weirdly enough did NOT want you to turn to look at him because he knew that if you did the words would get caught up in his throat and- oh no you did

- oop the sand looks very interesting all of a sudden wow :0

- "you know when i have a bad day i usually come to sit here and watch the sunset"

- "okay and ?"

- GOSH Y/N LET HIM SPEAK PLEASE HE'S HAVING A HARD TIME

- "and it feels nice....like today for example, i just lost a volleyball match against some other school, Karasu-whatever you probably don't care but....after living such a hard loss it feels nice to look at the sky painted in all these colors you know ? Plus you don't have to talk so it's great it's as if you were on top of the world-"

- he was cut off by the sound of your laugh

- "ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME ???"

- as you struggled to catch your breath you looked at him and smiled

- "you know you're not as bad as i thought !"

- huh

- you were definitely something :\

- spiking the ball right thru Matsukawa's chest and straight to his heart

- "My name's Y/N L/N im a 2nd year ! also don't worry i wasn't making fun of you at all i just can't believe that you exposed your simp card so proudly to someone you BARELY know"

- "well i felt bad because-"

- "it's cute (▰˘◡˘▰)"

- OH.

- MY MANZ WAS AT A LOSS OF WORD

- WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT MAKING FUN OF A GIRL FALLING WAS ALL IT TOOK TO MAKE HIS DAY A 100 TIMES BETTER

- HE WOULD HAVE TO TELL MAKKI ABOUT THIS ASAP

- you snapped him out of his daze by pointing out that your mom would be worried if you walked alone to your house at night

- "sooooo is it my cue to walk you home ?" smooth recovery from him, you must admit

- "should we get boba on the way ?" You said standing up and dusting your shirt

- "you bet."

[somewhereawrite]

Happy Birthday

Original Fiction

Word Count: 2,268

Warnings: Mentioned Abuse, Brief Suicidal Ideation

TC: Happy birthday dude! 🎂 🎉

IC: thanks

TC: Are you working?

IC: No. I missed my shift

TC: That sucks. Everything ok?

IC: yeah i just got locked out

TC: Of your house?

IC: yeah. I think my dad changed the locks cuz my key doesn’t fit anymore

And he’s not home so

TC: You’re outside right now? Are you okay?

IC: yeah 

Just fucking cold

There’s snow everywhere

I went over to that one corner store but they kicked me out for loitering so

Ngl i kinda wanna die right now lol

TC: where are you?

IC: the park across from my house

TC: me and my mom are pretty close by. We’re going to come pick you up

IC: ok

~~~

Ian couldn’t feel his fingers anymore.

They’d skated past the miserably cold stage about an hour ago, and settled into the slightly numb and painful stage. Now he couldn’t feel them at all, and they were like clumsy icicles stuck to his hands than actual digits as he used them to scroll through his texts and see if Taylor had responded to him.

Nothing yet. Ian clicked the lock button and shoved his phone and his hand back into his coat pocket. The battery was at 12%. Probably a good idea not to waste it. 

At least the wind had stopped blowing. Ian had swept the snow off of the park bench he’d taken shelter on before sitting down on it, but he could still feel his jeans and the back of his coat getting soaked through. He’d pulled his legs up to his chest to conserve warmth, but at this point it was no longer doing any good.

Maybe his dad really did want him to freeze to death.

Today was Ian’s birthday, but that did not change in the slightest the fact that it was a bad fucking day.

It hadn’t even started out right. He’d woken up this morning (or rather, dragged himself out of bed, semi-conscious and uncertain if he’d gotten anything restful enough to be called “sleep”) feeling sick, but gotten ready for school anyways and jogged out the door barely on time. He hadn’t ridden his bike, because he could hear Dad talking to someone out in the garage from the hallway, and he really didn’t want to go in there and interrupt whatever was going on, so he grabbed his coat and his earbuds and resigned himself to being late.

One of his fucking ear buds broke on the walk there, so there was that. So much for carefully arranging the balance settings in stereo for the best amount of bass versus treble versus mids, because all he could fucking hear now was treble.

He walked in to find out he had enough tardies to equal an unexcused absence, and that admin would be sending his dad a letter and a request to schedule a parent-teacher meeting about attendance. Fan-fucking-tastic.

He missed a quiz first period, used fourth period to scribble down homework he’d completely forgotten, and spent lunch sleeping in the corner of the shop classroom. By the time he headed home to grab his bike for work, his head was throbbing and his sore throat and sniffles were definitely turning into a full-blown cold.

And then he was locked out. He called his dad twice, then texted him a few times after that, but no response. It wasn’t like he was expecting one anyways. He found his manager’s number on his phone and called out.

Then he wandered around for a bit, got kicked out of the corner store, and ended up on the park bench with his school backpack and a dying phone, freezing to death in slow motion. 

He felt like his organs were going to rattle apart with how violently he was shivering now. He should probably stand up a bit, move around, get his blood pumping and stomp his feet a little to ward the frostbite off his toes. He didn’t want to. Instead, he buried himself a little deeper into his coat, rested his forehead on his knees, and closed his eyes. 

He didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want to go to school tomorrow. He didn’t want to try to explain to his manager why he called out again, and he didn’t want to have to deal with his dad. He didn’t want to think anymore. He just wanted everything to stop.

Everything was bullshit and he was so, so tired.

His phone buzzed and he pulled it out to glance at the screen. 

TC: You still there? 

We’re right in front, by your house

Ian tapped back a quick “k” and uncurled himself, pushing to his feet and grabbing his bag. The movement and a gust of cold air made his stomach lurch and sent fresh stabs through his skull, but he closed his eyes for a second until it passed, then shouldered his bag and headed toward the front of the park.

Lauren Conroy drove a small silver SUV that was just old enough to look like a mom car. Ian saw the puff of exhaust from the tailpipe and the glow of the headlights cutting through the dimness the second he crested the hill, and something in him gave a little sigh, collapsing into tired relief.

He shuffled down toward them, shoes scuffing and sliding against the icy sidewalk, and then he was there, frigid fingers bumping clumsily against the handle of the back passenger side door, pulling it open, shoving his backpack and then himself inside. Lauren was in the driver’s seat and Taylor was in the back, pulling his backpack out of the way, stabbing the buttons that turned up the heat.

“Good god. Taylor, grab that blanket in the back and give it to him.”

Before he could react, Taylor was reaching past him and dragging the lengths of a soft, heavy comforter from behind the seats. Lauren twisted in her seat, dragging it around and over him as far as she could reach, and directing Taylor to do the same.

“How long have you been out there?” she asked, an edge in her voice.

Ian pulled the rest of the blanket over him so that it covered everything but his head. “Since four-ish.”

Lauren froze and stared back at him. “Since four?”

Ian nodded.

Lauren muttered something under her breath that he couldn’t hear. “Have you eaten?” she asked, louder.

“Not yet.” The words slurred a little, Ian’s lips and tongue stiff from the cold.

“Christ.” Lauren’s expression was lethal. She took the car out of park and pulled into the street, heading towards the edge of the neighborhood. “Taylor, my phone. Look up an Ihop or something. Someplace we can eat inside.”

“Got it.”

The car was so warm it almost hurt. The heater was blowing at full strength now, deafening, and the seat warmers were on full blast. Ian sank into the seat and pulled the blanket as tightly around him as he could, still shivering and sniffling so that his nose wouldn’t start running from the heat.

Lauren glanced back through the rearview mirror. “Are you sick?”

“Yeah. A little.”

“You look awful. Taylor, there’s some Tylenol in my purse, and there should be an extra water bottle back there still.”

“Yeah, got it.”

Taylor handed over the water and Tylenol, and Ian took two of them, then enveloped himself in the blanket again. Lauren glanced back at him once, then again.

Then finally, “I can not believe he left you out there.”

Ian half-shrugged. “It’s fine. It’s happened before.”

Wrong thing to say. Lauren looked furious. “This has happened before?”

Ian dropped his gaze, not in the mood to meet her angry stare. “Yeah, once. Wasn’t this cold though.”

“Of course not, because you would have--” she cut herself off and huffed out a breath, tugging on her ponytail.

Would have frozen to death. Ian knew. They all knew.

Lauren didn’t say it, though. When he looked up, there was a misty sheen in her eyes and the muted anger on her face was mixed with regret. “Sorry, kiddo. I’m just--” she broke off again. “Let’s just go get some food in you.”

The car fell silent, and for a moment, the only sound was the gps’s electronic monotone spitting out directions.

Ian didn’t speak up again until the feeling came back into his fingers with a rush of tingling and pain. “Thanks for picking me up,” he said.

“It’s the least I could do, kiddo. The very, very least.”

No one said anything else until they arrived at the restaurant. Lauren sent them both inside to find a booth, saying she had to make a call, so they went ahead without her.

“What even happened?” Taylor asked over his menu, once they’d gotten in and sat down. “Was there a fight or something?”

Ian shrugged. “No. Don’t think so. Guess he was just done.”

“That’s…” Taylor shook his head, struggling for words. “That’s so crazy.”

“Yeah.” Ian didn’t really want to think about it anymore. “Does your mom care what we get?”

“No, get whatever you want.” Taylor watched him over the menu. “You know you can stay at our house if you want to, right?”

Something inside him twisted. “We already talked about that. You guys live too far away from my school.”

“My mom says she might be able to make the drive before work. Me and Fletcher are almost finished saving for a car, so she wouldn’t have to bring us and Jackie to school.”

Ian hesitated, looking at him. He wanted it. He wanted it so badly. Living someplace where he knew he wouldn’t get screamed at for no reason or locked out without warning, where he liked people he lived with and they didn’t wish he was dead--living someplace normal. It sounded good. Too good to be something within his reach. “I… my dad--”

“Hey, boys! We order yet?” Lauren’s voice, bright and cheery, interrupted him as she swept into view. Taylor scooted to the side and she dropped into the booth next to him, picking up the third menu. Her eyes were rimmed in red, but her smile was genuine and almost defiant.

“Not yet,” Taylor said.

“Well? Come on! Ian, order whatever you want, I’m paying. Are we getting milkshakes? I’m getting a milkshake.”

Ian did get a milkshake. And a breakfast skillet. And hashbrowns. And crepes slathered with fruit and whipped cream. And Lauren didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow, just slapped on an order of birthday pancakes and handed back her menu.

Taylor ordered just as much as he did, and Lauren sat back with her milkshake and strawberry French Toast, watching them converse with a satisfied look on her face.

After they’d finished devouring the last of the dessert pancakes, Lauren glanced at her phone. “Sorry to break up the party, but we have to get going if we’re gonna pick you up a toothbrush before we head home. I told your dad you were staying over.”

Ian narrowed his eyes, wary. “What did he say?”

“He said it was fine, of course. You’re staying for the rest of the week, at least.”

The rest of the week? “Wait, really? He was fine with that?”

“Oh, he was more than fine,” Lauren said, glibly. 

Ian stared at her, disbelieving. “He was more than fine?”

“I’m guessing he wants me to go easy once the court proceedings are underway.”

Wait. What? “What court proceedings?”

Lauren looked at Taylor. “You didn’t tell him?”

Taylor shrugged. “Didn’t get the chance.”

Ian frowned. “The chance to tell me what?”

Lauren reached into her purse and pulled out a stack of neatly stapled papers, set them on the table, and slid them over. “The reason we were in town.”

Ian picked them up and read the lettering at the top. He suddenly couldn’t breathe. “Petition for... guardianship?” he read aloud, voice tight. “What are-- are you serious?”

Lauren nodded solemnly. “We’ve talked about it enough. You’ve said plenty of times that you wanted to go ahead.”

“Is that why you called me yesterday?”

Lauren’s face softened. “Yeah. And you told me that it was just your--”

“--my dad,” Ian finished. “He’d never agree. How did you…?”

Lauren grinned slightly. “I talked to him last week. I was very convincing. And he knows we have a case. Seems like he doesn’t want trouble.”

Ian stared down at the papers again, clenching his teeth against the lump growing in his throat. “So that’s it? He’s giving me up?”

“That’s what he’s saying right now. But if he changes his mind and we have to fight for it, we will. If you still want it.” 

It was all suddenly too much. Ian’s vision blurred and his breath shuddered, and he pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes to block the tears that had sprung from nowhere, but then he was gasping and he felt arms around him, holding him tight and warm.

“Do you still want it?” He heard Lauren ask him, voice quiet and full of emotion he couldn’t quantify.

He felt everything inside of him unravel as he nodded, letting her hug him and leaning into the embrace. “Yes,” he said. His voice sounded choked, but he didn’t care. “I want to.”

Her arms tightened around him, every so slightly. “I guess that’s it then. Happy birthday, Ian.”

Taylor’s hand squeezed his shoulder from wherever he was, still across the table. His voice sounded shaky when he spoke too. “Happy birthday, Ian. Welcome home.”

[dearskz]

i don’t like him pt. 1

Genre: school au, fuckboy au, angst, fluff + bullet points

Pairing: reader x changbin

Length: 1,458 words 

Warning: profanity

Description: How not to fall in love with your school’s #1 fuckboy.

Part 2 (masterlist)

okay hehe this is another new thing for me

so it might be crap SORRY!

but i wanted to write something spontaneously that i wouldn’t overthink bc I do that a lot

ANYWAYS onto the story :)

there was one thing that you hated more than calculus

fuckboys

and seo changbin was the ultimate fuckboy

he would flirt with anyone and anything

ngl, he was pretty good at it

not that you would admit it tho

bc WE ARE NOT falling down that hole

nonononono

but you kind of understood why everyone at your school fell into his trap???

he was quite articulate with his words

one of the top students of your year

the star of multiple sports teams

not to mention an amazing rapper and singer

and wow have you seen him?

fucking gorgeous

^another thing you would not admit to

no stop, stop thinking that, get a hold of yourself y/n!

i don’t like him

it’s not like you hate him tho

he was your childhood best friend growing up

you used to do everything together

you just hate what he’s become

which is why you decided to distance yourself from him

WHICH IS A TERRIBLE THING TO DO TO YOUR BEST FRIEND

AND YOU KNEW THAT

but, after hitting puberty LIKE A TRUCK, people started noticing him more

he became cocky, flirtatious

the sweet and adorable changbin you knew started to disappear

or so you thought

watching him slowly change from someone you loved to be with 24/7 into someone that you couldn’t stand makes it that much harder to be around him

“HEY Y/N!!!” your best friend chaeyoung scared you from behind

“holy shit chaeyoung, please save my eardrums, i don’t plan on needing a hearing aid until I’m a 70-year-old raisin. ”

“you’re so fucking dramatic. i’ve called you 10 times, why didn’t you pick up? daydreaming about what could’ve been with changbin again?”

“you’re going to regret saying that when you have to walk home in the rain today.”

“SORRY jeez. it’s just that whenever you zone out, you’re usually thinking about him. you even say his name in your sleep sometimes.”

you felt yourself blushing

there is no way i say his name in my sleep

“i don’t like him.”

“i didn’t say you did.”

you glared at her, “oh my gosh you’re so annoying, just tell me why you called me so many times.”

“there’s a rumour going around that changbin is taking finally taking someone to the formal this year!”

“and you wanted to tell me this beecaausee???...”

“becauseeee it sounds like he’s finally settling down! isn’t that great? maybe that means he’s gonna stop being a fuckboy.”

you rolled your eyes

“woohoo, should i give him an award?”

chaeyoung sighed in defeat

“okay, fine. i know you don’t care but i thought it would’ve been good news because you could possibly become friends again… the break is about to end, i’ll see you after school y/n. bye!”

“bye, see you!”

you began walking back to class

maybe chaeyoung was right

maybe he’s trying to change

i mean it would be nice to be friends again, i miss him so much

2:34 pm

it was your last class of the day, school ends in less than half an hour

you were trying to finish your homework so you could binge on vlive videos

(y’all know who u are, aka me)

it also happened to be the day before formal tickets went on sale

it was so hard to hear yourself think because your obnoxious seatmate was batting her eyelashes at changbin

“changbinnie~ are you excited for the formal? are you taking someone this year? who?? i still need a date you know….”

“that’s a secret, but hopefully it’s someone as pretty as you” he winked

wtf gross, can class end faster?

suddenly you got a text from student council

                      [2:40] woojin: emergency meeting in rm 214 right after school!

shit, i have to tell chaeyoung that I can’t drive her home today

                      [2:29] y/n: hey, sorry but an emergency council meeting came up!                       [2:29] my bae chae: np, i’ll catch a ride with dahyun! be careful tho, it’s raining rlly hard later today!!                       [2:30] y/n: dw i will! luhh u bish                       [2:30] my bae chae: luh u too biiishh

4:35 pm

the meeting took a long time bc yall needed some last minute DJ’s for the formal

long story short: it took a lot of phone calls

but don’t worry, it’s gucci now

after saying bye to your fellow council members, you began making your way to your car

it began pouring right before the meeting ended and you were hoping that it would die down soon

but it didn’t

just then you saw changbin waiting at the front entrance

ahh it’s monday, he usually walks home on mondays

wait why do i know that

you felt guilty

i guess i could offer him a ride??? he does live across the street…

“HEy chANgbIn!” just came out of your mouth

that was a fucking croak, i just sounded like a toad what is wrong with me

“oh hey y/n”

“..uh.. so... why are you still at school?”

“i was giving some basketball pointers to our freshmen.”

“wow, smart, attractive, and a saint? what else can you do seo changbin?”

i did not just say that out loud, save me 

he chuckled and gave you a warm smile

you forgot how much you missed that beautiful smile of his

“apparently i can make you flush like a red tomato too.”

that only made you blush harder

you tried to hide your face from any more embarrassment

“d-do you want a ride home? i don’t want you to be caught in the rain…. we live on the sam-”

“yes y/n, i very much appreciate a ride home from you, thank you.”

“no problem… let’s go”

impulsively, you grabbed his hand and ran through the rain towards your car

i’m just continuously surprising myself today, aren’t i?

still, his hand fit so nicely in yours

holding his hand brought back so many memories

perhaps it was seeing his gentle smile again

or talking to him for the first time in a year

that made you forget that you weren’t best friends anymore

you got to your car in no time but you were both drenched

“i should have a few clean towels in my gym bag, so we can dry off when we get inside.”

“cool, thanks. but y/n?” he faced you

“yes changbin?” you stared into his eyes

“i can’t get inside if you’re still holding my hand” he smirked

“OH R-RIGHT. sorry aha.”

you quickly ran to the driver's side and slammed the door

you both quickly dried your soaking wet hair before heading home

you sat in silence for the first few minutes

“hey you can play some music if you want,” you said handing him the aux cord with one hand

“ah, thanks.”

a familiar tune began playing

“omg is this-”

“1AM BY TAEYANG,” you both said at the same time

you looked at each other and laughed

“i guess we still have the same taste in music.”

“you acquired your taste of music from me. remember all the mixtapes i would make for you?”

“i guess i did. they were really good mixtapes. i guess i owe it to you, thanks, y/n!”

“what do you mean?”

“for kinda getting me into music… .and encouraging me to pursue a music career a few years ago before… before we stopped talking…”

“oh… right…”

even the music couldn’t help the awkward silence in the car the rest of the way home

you pulled into his driveway just as the rain cleared up

“thank you again for the ride home y/n. it was nice talking to you. I miss you.”

you missed the last part because you spent the entire time thinking about how selfish it was to cut off your best friend just because of a silly thing like popularity

why did i even care back then? so what if more than half the school swoons over him? it’s not like i care right? he was my best friend

i didn’t like him

i don’t like him

“y/n? are you alright? did you catch a cold?”

changbin put his hand on your forehead

you weren’t sick but you could feel butterflies in your stomach

did i have milk today ahahaha silly me, i always forget that i’m lactose intolerant ahhaah

“N-NO! sorry, I just zoned out for a bit. i’ll see you at school changbin.”

he withdrew his hand and began to step out of the car

“yeah, right. see you at school y/n.” he said without looking back

[emubop]

Adding on to my post from yesterday, I’m just gonna list all the issues I have with Disco (a separate list of the things I love soon to come!)

Under a cut for length and for spoilers. Seriously. Major spoilers ahead. And tw for discussions of character death, if that bothers you.

With that in mind, let’s get to it! (This is in no particular order, btw.)

Starting with the last two episodes, since they’re pretty fresh in my mind - they felt very rushed. I’ve seen some people say that the season should have ended right when they got back from the mirrorverse, and I completely agree. The final arc felt like it needed at least two more episodes to be fleshed out. I wanted to see more of the characters actually dealing with what happened in the mirrorverse, and having time for development; and while we got a little bit of that between Michael and Ash, it wasn’t very much. And like, I get why. When you’ve only got two episodes to get the plot where you need it to go, of course character development is going to be sacrificed for time. Which is why I think they should have either a) added more episodes to the end of season one, or b) ended the season with the mirror arc, so that they’d have more time to explore the Klingon war thing at the beginning of season 2. Disco has some very wonderful characters who are very deserving of development and growth, and it’s unfortunate that they didn’t get it.

Culber’s death... This is the main point where I’m like “yeah, I don’t blame you for not liking the show anymore,” because I came very close to that too. In the end, I do still think I like the rest of the show overall, but this part... I just about stopped watching. In short - the way the show treated Dr. Culber was absolutely shitty. Sure, I’m like 99% certain they’ll end up bringing him back in season 2, but in the meantime, he’s still very much dead. And NOT ONLY did they use the “bury your gays” trope, but out of only TWO gay characters, they buried the man of color. Like... that’s just... what the fuck.

I’m expanding this into multiple points, bc it’s the biggest point I have. Culber’s death is legitimately the worst thing Disco has done. Not only just the fact that they killed him, but how they did it. His death was violent, sudden, and meaningless. The main characters barely even get to react to it before moving on. His killer doesn’t face trial or repercussions. (Note - I personally see Voq as being entirely the murderer and not Tyler, since Tyler had no agency in the killing and was if anything just a tool, but either way, no justice is served.) And then we, the audience, have to see the brutal killing scene AGAIN in the “previously on” section of the next episode or two, which makes it seem like they’re using this horrific event as mere shock value. I literally felt sick to my stomach watching it. What happened was disgusting, and I can’t blame anyone for not wanting to watch the show anymore because of it.

I trust Wilson Cruz. I trust Anthony Rapp. I trust them when they say that there’s a plan, that Culber will come back, that this will work out at some point. Their reassurances do help me personally to make some measure of peace with the situation. I don’t want to think that two openly gay actors would sign onto the script if this is how it ends between their characters. But right now, Culber is still dead, for no good reason that I can see, and it still stings. This is justifiably upsetting. And until I see him come back with my own two eyes, yeah, I’m not gonna be happy about it.

Aaaaand speaking of death, let’s talk about Georgiou. I just... that’s not a good way to start your show off, ngl. You take a very strong and deep character, played by Michelle Yeoh no less, and then just kill her? It’s bad writing. They could have easily had Michael transferred off the Shenzhou and arrested and kept Captain Georgiou alive. They could have even kept the whole “tragic backstory” thing in play, with Michael and Philippa no longer on speaking terms, and Michael mourning the loss of what was once such a close relationship. (I do appreciate that they brought her back as her mirror counterpart - and boy howdy the Emperor is a good character - so that does take a little bit of the sting out, but still. Not the best way to open the show.)

And then Landry dies in both universes?? I can accept mirror!Landry dying because of the whole “Lorca’s second hand” thing, but like... god, this show has got to stop killing off poc. Especially woc. I can understand that they’re trying to do a “raceblind” thing, and I understand their reasoning - the whole “it’s a utopian future and everyone is treated the same!” thing - but it doesn’t really work like that irl for the audience. Unless someone is actually literally colorblind and sees everything in greyscale, no one has any business saying they “don’t see color.” And no one should be casting with that mindset. The situation could certainly be a lot worse - they’ve got Michael, at least, and she’s fucking amazing - but it could also be better.

And yeah, it’s a warzone, and people are going to die. I get that. But just... do some critical thinking about who you’re killing, why, and if it can be avoided. If for no other reason, it makes the story a lot stronger in the long run.

It’s the year of our lord twenty-gayteen, can we stop having the makeup on white people playing Kingons being so hmmm questionable maybe?

(With regards to several of the above points, I’m white, so please let me know if I’m overstepping my bounds here. And like the point about Culber - I wouldn’t blame anyone for disliking/not supporting the show because of these reasons, and I’m not ever going to try to convince anyone that these things are okay. Because they aren’t. Just because I like certain elements enough to give the show a second chance with season two, doesn’t mean that anyone else will or should do the same. Continuing.)

Why the fuck is this show so obsessed with eating people? Stop it. Get some help.

The only explicitly bisexual/pansexual person we see is the Emperor, who sleeps with both a man and a woman and seems very satisfied with both parties afterwards. Which, okay, cool, except she was also trying to get information out of them, so whether or not she was even attracted to either one is debatable. I personally think she was - thanks to Michelle Yeoh’s acting, which is a goddamn gift - but that still leaves us with the only representation of bi/pan people being a murderous emperor from the mirror universe. And the “relationship” is entirely sex-based, as well as being with multiple people at once, which only furthers the stereotype of bi/pan being promiscuous, being only bi for a threesome, being untrustworthy. And to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with one night stands or poly relationships! Those things are perfectly fine! But when that’s all that bi/pan people are shown as, it can play into really damaging stereotypes - and as a bi/pan person, I’m frankly getting a little fucking sick of it.

(I mean, it’s better than DS9′s “mirrorverse=gay/bi/pan” thing, I’ll give it that, but I’m not going to give any show brownie points for reinforcing harmful stereotypes. You’ve improved slightly, Trek, but not nearly as much as you should have.)

I’m just making another point here for Dr. Culber’s death because seriously. Fucking seriously. What the fuck.

I would’ve liked to have seen more one-off episodes, like “Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad.” That was a fucking awesome episode. It’s fun! It’s got character development! I wanna see more of that!

The portrayal of Klingon culture is a bit inconsistent. And okay, to be entirely truthful, I’m really not that into Klingons in general? So having a plot centered around them wouldn’t be my first choice anyway. But if you’re going to do it, please do it right. It felt like the writers sometimes “forgot” important elements of Klingon culture for the sake of the plot, and just... come on. The Klingons are brutal warriors, yes. They’ve killed innocent civilians in the course of battle, sure. But they have a whole honor code, and going out of their way to murder thousands of helpless, defenseless people? Correct me if I’m wrong, but it just doesn’t quite seem to fit.

I really, really wanna see more of the bridge crew! I wanna get to know them! They seem so cool who are they please Disco I’m begging you

This is a very dumb, very tiny thing, but I was kinda hoping I’d see some Cardassian makeup in the crowd while we were in the Seedy Black Market on Qo’noS. Did appreciate the Trill lady tho!

I dunno, the ending almost felt... too neat? If that makes sense? I would have liked things more ambiguous, a few more loose ends. It felt like they threw in a happy ending out of nowhere; it didn’t really match the tone of the rest of the show.

Speaking of tone - it felt to me like Disco was trying to mix the upbeat, thoughtful, philosophical tone of classic Trek with the grittier, more critical, more heavy tone of DS9. I love both classic Trek and DS9, but they don’t exactly mix very well. Disco’s tone felt a bit confused and convoluted. And like, here’s the thing - classic Trek doesn’t preclude heavy subjects (”Conscience of the King” from TOS is a great example), and shows like DS9 don’t preclude fun and optimism (there’s episodes like “Explorers” that are uplifting, and “Take Me Out to the Holosuite” is a fucking delight). Star Trek at its best should always tackle difficult issues, should always have determination, should always have hope. DS9 had a more morally gray outlook, yes, and certainly questioned the idea that the Federation is utopian, but it was still underpinned by the main characters wanting to do good. Wanting to improve the world around them. It managed to do a very good job of adapting Trek’s message to its darker tone - whereas Disco feels like it’s flip-flopping between having a darker tone and trying to be like TOS. Like, buddy, just pick one. You just gotta pick one.

The more times Sarek shows up in Disco, the more he looks like a complete dick to Spock in TOS. This isn’t necessarily a complaint, because Sarek being a dick is certainly in character for him, but I’d like to see that disparity in how he treats his children addressed. By his wife. Specifically by his wife. Amanda is a national treasure and I need her to call her husband out.

idk I think there’s more but like, I’ve been working on this for hours - WAIT HANG ON

This has been bugging me since the beginning of the show, because while Michael’s mutiny was certainly a bad idea, she technically... didn’t really do much of anything before being taken to the brig? She almost has the ship fire on a Klingon vessel, but Georgiou shows up and stops her. Helm locked phasers on the vessel on Michael’s orders, yes, but earlier they locked phase cannons on the vessel for a short time, which Georgiou agreed to. Her actions during the mutiny didn’t really change their situation at all. So why does everyone blame her for starting the war?

“But she killed that Klingon during her spacewalk!” Yeah, she did, because he came charging at her with a bat’leth with the intention to kill. In that scenario, her actions were self-defense. She attempted to talk to him, he then proceeded to try to kill her, so she fought back to save her own life and ended up killing him in the process. And all this happened while she was investigating a foreign object in Federation territory. So while I can see why she was charged with mutiny and assaulting a fellow officer, I don’t think it’s fair to say that she started the war. The Klingons on the ship of the dead were planning to start shit before anyone even got there.

I can understand why Starfleet would have thought Michael started it, at least at first, because unlike the audience, they couldn’t see the Klingons planning beforehand. That’s fair. But then Ash Tyler shows up, and he’s revealed to be Voq - who was there! he knows what happened on that ship! - and eventually, he loses Voq’s consciousness but retains the guy’s memories. So Ash knows how the war started. Ash knows, or should know, that the Klingons on that ship were the instigators. Why wouldn’t he tell Starfleet before fucking off with L’Rell? He says he loves Michael, so why wouldn’t he want to set the record straight? And most importantly, why wasn’t Michael told any of this?! She’s been blaming herself for this whole war, she’s been suffering needlessly for it, let her fucking rest! Yeah, she was exonerated and accepted back into Starfleet, which is great, but it came across as “welp you basically cleaned up the mess of a war you started and saved Earth from annihilation, so I guess we’ll clear the slate for you.” It should have been more like “well given what we know now, we can say that you’re innocent of starting interstellar war; and as for the rest, stopping the destruction of Earth is a hell of a community service, so you know what? Welcome back.”

My point is, Michael Burnham has done nothing wrong, ever, in her life

Alright, at this point I think that about sums it up, and I’m tired of looking at this anyways because it’s been hours now, so uh, yeah. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

[petehparker]

Flames (Peter Parker x Female Reader)

Request: Hey honey! How are you? Can I have an imagine that you are the youngest avenger and in love with your friend peter parker? when he figures it out he distants himself cuz he likes liz. but with new scholarship program jean (your bff) and pietro (your ex) comes to the tower and something blossoms again between pietro and you so Peter becomes jealous and finally realizes his feelings? I would really like to read that so pls?? <3 Love you!

Word Count: 1,796

A/N: decided to try out Peter’s POV for this one and honestly I kinda loved it ngl. Hope you enjoy!! -Claire xx

“Oh, god, Y/N, how many times can I embarrass myself in front of her?” I run a frustrated hand through my hair.

Y/N sighed, rolling her eyes. “Calm down, Peter. You knocked over a book.” “I knocked over her book!”

“And then you picked it up, like a gentleman, and said sorry-”

“I stuttered, like an idiot, for fifteen minutes.” “It was thirty seconds. I was there.”

“She must think I’m so clumsy.”

Y/N set her book down on the bed. “You know what bothers me?”

“What?” I asked.

“You’ve had a crush on Liz since freshman year. She’s a senior. She’s leaving next year for college anyway, and the most contact you’ve ever legitimately had with her was that high five she gave you once after the scholastic bowl, and you talked nonstop about it for the entire day afterward.” I opened my mouth to object, but she shouldered on. “You’ve watched her talk about other boys, Peter. You’ve helped her do anything she asks you to do, you’ve been by her side, and nothing has happened. She’s nice to you, sure, but is she as nice to you as you are to her?” I was at a loss for words. “What do you mean?”

She sighed, shifting closer to me and the end of the bed. “I mean why not go for someone else? Someone who actually likes you?” My eyes flickered to hers and I was surprised to notice how somber she looked. “Liz likes me.”

“Liz is a very nice girl, Pete, don’t get me wrong.” Y/N grabbed my wrist. “But don’t spend all your time looking for what you think is perfect if- oh my god, this is so cliche to say, but what if what could make you happy is right in front of you? And you’re missing it?” “I still don’t get what you mean.” I felt like a hundred different things were flying through my mind all at once.

“Peter, I...” She trailed off, looking downwards. Strands of hair fell over her face. “I like you.” Her hand slid a little more tentatively into the palm of mine, but I couldn’t help pulling it away.

“Y/N, what are you doing?”

She shrunk back a little. “Peter...” I was confused and still a little embarrassed. “We’re friends, Y/N. Why are you trying to mess with that?” “I’m not trying to mess with anything, Peter, I just didn’t think it’d be fair if you didn’t know how I felt.” Her whole demeanor changed. In the blink of an eye, Y/N was standing up, grabbing her jacket off of one of my bedposts and sliding her backpack over her shoulder.

“Y/N, wait-” “I can see this was a bad idea, Peter.” I could hardly wrap my mind around what was happening; I could see tears glimmering in her eyes. “I’m sorry for doing this to you, I’m just going to go.” With that, she swept out of my room, leaving me confused and alone.

***

It had been days since I’d last talked to Y/N.

She had been busy helping out at the facility with the new training program. It didn’t take long for Tony to figure out something bad had happened between us and he had clearly been trying to keep us away from each other- for Y/N’s sake or mine, I had no idea. He certainly hadn’t been any nicer to me since then.

I still had no idea what to think about what Y/N had told me. I had no clue she had feelings for me, and I didn’t know what this meant. When I told Ned what happened, he threatened to slap me upside the head for being stupid, although when I asked him to explain what he meant, he had just laughed and gone back to our Lego construction.

Her words had been like a bucket of cold water. I couldn’t stop thinking about what she had said about Liz. It was true that I had been hung up on her for far too long, and also true that she would be gone next year.

The next time I saw her, we were walking towards each other in the hallway at the facility. She was walking with a tall girl with long red hair, but before I could register much else, her friend had steered her down a side hallway and they had disappeared by the time I got there.

I looked for her everywhere I could think of. Tony locked me out of the training rooms, so she spent most of her time in there with the new trainees. It didn’t take long for me to figure out who the girl with the red hair was- Jean was an old friend of Y/N’s. It was no wonder they had reconnected so quickly.

When I called her, I usually got voicemail- to which I left long, babbling messages, asking her to call me back and going on and on about how badly I needed to talk to her. Once, another girl had answered and shouted into the phone about how Y/N didn’t want to see me again. I didn’t call after that.

Of course, I had no idea what I would say if she did answer. I didn’t think I liked her back, at least not the way she felt for me. She was pretty, I’d admit, but I hadn’t put much thought into whether or not I really had a crush on her. All I knew was that I didn’t like not having her around, not having someone to text until 3 in the morning or call for the walk home from school. I had never really noticed how much space she took up in my life until she was gone, and that was the worst part.

The next time I saw Y/N, she was outside helping one of the trainees practice. It was hard to tell who he was- he was darting around so rapidly that all I saw was a blur of blue and silver. I watched from afar as she threw targets into the air for the blur to catch until he crashed into her, the flimsy targets flying everywhere as his arms wrapped around her waist. They were both laughing like crazy, from what I could see from where I was. I was only there a second longer before Happy steered me away from the scene.

Needless to say, my texts also went unanswered.

***

It became overwhelming after a couple weeks had passed.

I kept seeing her with the source of the blur, who I had learned was named Pietro. He was handsome in a way that made me feel a little sick to my stomach. Jean also seemed to follow them around, seeming more like what looked to me like a third wheel than anything else.

It boiled over one night. I found myself in front of her door, knocking heavily. I had no idea what I wanted to say, and I wasn’t even trying to figure it out until Y/N pulled the door open.

“Peter?” She asked.

“Y/N, please let me in. I need to talk to you.” I worried for a second about sounding needy but stopped caring almost immediately.

She hesitated a little but stepped aside to let me in. I followed her down to her bedroom.

“Peter, what are you doing here?” She sat on her bed, tucking herself even deeper into her sweatshirt, which was easily too big for her.

“You’ve been ignoring me,” I stated like it wasn’t obvious.

She shrugged. “I thought maybe you’d go talk to Liz and tell her how you feel.”

I didn’t know how to respond to this. I felt so upset and exasperated and mad at myself for not being strong enough to do this earlier, I felt like I might puke. I pulled frustratedly at the ends of my sleeves. “Y/N, I haven’t thought about Liz in weeks. I haven’t seen Liz in weeks. I can’t stop thinking about what you said, it’s driving me crazy.” “Why didn’t you talk to me earlier?” She said it like she already knew the answer.

“I called you! I called you and called you and called you, pleading with you to let me sort this out with you, and you never picked up. You just left, Y/N!” My voice was beginning to get raw. “And of course you replaced me right away, right?”

She looked shocked, pushing herself off the bed so that she was level with me. “I did not replace you!”

I shook my head fervently. “You might want to tell Pietro that!” “Peter, what are you saying? You rejected me, okay, and I was embarrassed.” There was so much energy coursing through my entire body, I knew I had to do something. “I get it if you want to just be friends and I thought maybe you might not want-” All my stamina finally went into overdrive, and I wasn’t expecting what I did next. I found myself framing her face with my hands, leaning in quickly, and-

I kissed her. More than kissed her, actually. It felt like more than I had ever felt in my entire life. The flames in my stomach were flaring brighter than ever. I didn’t know what I expected, but when she started to kiss back, I knew that that was what I had wanted.

When the kiss ended, she pulled back with wide eyes. “Peter, what are you doing?” She sat back down on the bed and I remained standing. “I mean, where does this put us?”

“Y/N,” I took a deep breath and sat a couple inches away from her on the bed. She looked so soft, like this, her hair drifting in loose strands around her face, the tips of her fingers just poking out of her sweatshirt sleeves, her eyes wandering. “I was a complete idiot. You were right- I was being blinded by Liz. It was a childish crush, something I used to shield what I was really feeling.” I hesitantly started to reach for her hand on the bed between us. She let me slip my fingers between hers. “Y/N, you mean so much to me, so much more than I ever could have imagined. I was a dumbass, for lack of better words. But I want to start this. I want to have this, with you.” Her breathing was starting to slow. I looked at her as meaningfully as I could.

“Will you go on a date with me? Can you give me a second chance?” The flames I felt in my stomach only started to shrink as soon as I saw her slowly start to nod.

I gripped her hand even tighter.

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