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thevampireslovelywife · 4 months

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NightFlower fic- Narcissa x Alice -2765 words Based off the song 'Good Luck Babe' by Chappell Roan

Narcissa was a fool. She knew it full and well, yet her pride never let her admit that to anyone else. Especially not to Lily. No matter how much she wanted to. As she sat at the dinner table, sitting next to her new husband, all that she could think about was her. She knew what she did was for the best, it had to be. There was no way she could love Lily, it had just been misguided feelings those last two years. It took everything Narcissa had not to think about what she had been doing when she left Lily to return back home and marry Lucius. Lucius wasn’t a bad husband; Quiet, seemingly unfeeling, but he wasn’t a bad husband. He just wasn’t Lily. Everything that was wrong, was wrong because Lily wasn’t there. Lily was constantly on Narcissa’s mind, and she didn’t understand why. They were friends, that’s all it was. All it would ever be. That one time… that one kiss. It was nothing. Lily just wanted to try it out, surely it didn’t mean anything to Lily. Not that it meant anything to Narcissa– or so she told herself. Lucius stared at Narcissa, watching her get that far away look in her eye once more. She always seemed to be thinking of something, or someone, else. But, he left her to it.

This marriage was not out of love, the both of them knew that well. They never talked about it, that one time on the day of consummation, as Lucius finished, he called out someone else’s name. Narcissa was surprised he said a name at all, but he did not expect it to be her eldest sister’s name. She had looked at him with wide eyes at the time, not caring about the moment they were in at all. Narcissa would’ve said something but he looked just as horrified at himself. So, neither one of them said anything and just went to sleep. Narcissa was sympathetic about it, sad that she was the one to separate him and her sister. But she didn’t dwell too much on it. She couldn’t when her every single waking thought since getting married was about Lily. Lily would still be in school, Lily would be doing this, Lily would be doing that… Narcissa just wanted it to stop. She knew her and Lily would never see each other again, and even if they did… They wouldn’t be friends like before.

But all it takes is one little push for everything to come crumbling down doesn’t it? The monthly going out on a date with Lucius for “appearances” was one of Narcissa’s least favorite days. She wanted nothing more for their unloving relationship to stay within the confines of their home, so she could pretend she wasn’t married. That she hadn’t left the only person who mattered to her besides her sisters back at Hogwarts. That Narcissa wasn’t doomed to a life as a housewife with a husband who was in love with her sister. Narcissa knew this was what was expected of her. But that didn’t mean she had to like it. She would never let others see those feelings though, in that sense, Narcissa was a Black through and through. Never let any sign of weakness be shown, was a sentiment her father ingrained in her from a young age. He said it to all of his daughters, yes, but a lot more to Narcissa. Because she was different. She was the one with light blonde hair and dark eyes, standing out from her sisters. Narcissa was the one that truly couldn’t show any weakness. Lily though–Lily would be the death of her. Narcissa’s only weakness. Now seeing Lily at the art gallery that Lucius had brought them to, knocked all the air right out of Narcissa’s lungs. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. It was Lily, out of all the people in this world, right here in this gallery, there was Lily. The one who Narcissa spent every single waking hour and dream thinking of. Her best friend. Narcissa wanted nothing more than to go over there, to call out for her– but she couldn’t. A slap to her face would’ve hurt less than what she saw. Lily was there, dressed in her usual Gryffindor robes– as if that didn’t hurt enough, knowing she couldn’t even go to school anymore– but she was with another girl. The other girl was beautiful to say the least. She had dark skin and hair, her curls falling loosely around her face. She seemed kind and sweet, and Lily was smiling at her. The same way she used to with Narcissa. Narcissa could feel her heart breaking, and she wasn’t sure why. Lucius looked down at Narcissa, seeing the way in which she was looking. She always believed she wasn’t obvious– and most times Narcissa wasn’t– but right now, it was so painfully obvious, at least from Lucius’ point of view. Or maybe he was just more attuned to seeing those little signs of longing, after doing them himself for so long.

Lucius, being who he was and knowing exactly what it was like to be in her position, acted outwardly kind for one of few times in his life. Leaning down to whisper barely audibly in her ear, “Go. Talk to her.” Narcissa whipped her head towards him, her face not moving an inch from its stoicness, but clear in surprise for Lucius. She shook her head, composing herself. “No,” She replied, her voice barely loud enough to be heard by Lucius, “You’re getting ahead of yourself. We’re just friends.” Lucius raised an eyebrow at her, “When did I ever say you weren’t?” He knew he had insinuated it, but the response he had gotten was just too defensive for him to pass the opportunity. Narcissa realized she messed up. She revealed her weakness. Lucius could feel the internal panic radiate off of her, so he held out his arm for her, as he always did when they walked around. He was giving her an out– just as she gave him that night– to never talk about it again and pretend it never happened. She took his arm gracefully, trying to hide the way it shook ever so slightly.

When they got home that night, Narcissa immediately took Lucius to bed. It wasn’t abnormal for them to have sex, whenever one seemed to be having a particularly bad day, it was their way to take their minds off of things. It was a thing of raw, pure desire. They wanted to forget that they were there with each other, to pretend that they were instead anywhere but there. Lucius always felt guilty, knowing he was thinking of her sister every time they did this, but knew Narcissa did not care. Narcissa was always crying, feeling guilty about a whole different person as she was pleasured. Lily always appeared in Narcissa’s thoughts, but times like these were the worst times. Narcissa knew she shouldn’t be thinking of Lily, that she should be focused on the ethereal man in front of her. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t not think of Lily. The way Lily’s red hair fell beautifully around her shoulders and waist, the way Lily’s green eyes lit up when they had seen Narcissa, the way Lily looked at her after they had kissed for the first and last time…

Narcissa was now out by herself, needing to get some air and clear her head. Seeing Lily again had fucked with her head a lot, and after days of functioning around half sober, she decided it was time to go outside. It scared her, the thought of seeing Lily again. But she couldn’t stay inside forever. Walking through the array of shops, Narcissa began to have hope. That she could get through the day without tripping herself up because of Lily. That she could possibly, possibly, try to move on. Thought that just couldn’t happen though, could it?

There Lily was again, in all her fiery glory, standing outside Olliviander’s. She was just admiring the boxes and boxes of wands, because she did not need another one, but Narcissa thought she looked so stunning. Lily’s head turned, and spotted Narcissa. It felt like the whole world had frozen and they were back in that moment. Narcissa telling Lily she had to leave and Lily, for once in her life, begging. Begging for Narcissa to stay, to not leave. Narcissa wanted to run– away or towards Lily; she wasn’t sure. But Lily made that decision for her. Lily began to walk towards Narcissa, and before Narcissa could even take a step, Lily was at her side.

“Cissa.” The name left Lily’s mouth as easily as breathing.

“Lily.” Narcissa returned, not trusting herself to say much more.

There was so much both of them wanted to say to each other but neither of them knew where to start. But they both knew the first to speak would be Lily. “How… How have you been? It’s… been so long.” The last part came out as almost a whisper, as if she was remembering the last time they saw each other. Narcissa nodded, still unsure as to what she should say. Deep down, the only words she really wanted to say were, “I’m sorry”

Lily looked at Narcissa in disbelief. Narcissa wanted to crawl into a hole and die, she had said that out loud. Lily was left speechless. She knew why Narcissa did what she did, why she left. Even if it hurt, Lily understood. But Narcissa never apologized. The middle Black was never in the habit of saying “I’m sorry” to anyone, as apologizing meant you did something wrong. Had a weakness. So the fact that those words had left Narcissa’s mouth at all, especially in public, left Lily stunned. “You…just. Come with me.” Lily grabbed Narcissa’s hand, causing her heart to leap back into her chest. They moved over into a small alleyway, which winded around to a door. Lily took out a key and opened it, leading them inside. “Where are we?” Narcissa questioned. “My flat. I have it for when I don’t want to stay in Hogwarts during the holidays but don’t really want to go back home either.” Narcissa felt her heart break for the hundredth time since seeing Lily again. She used to be the one Lily stayed with at Hogwarts over the Holidays when most everyone went home. It had been hard to convince Cygnus to let Narcissa stay. In fact, the reason she was able to stay then is the reason they’re here now. Her father made her promise that in return for staying at Hogwarts, she would return home to get married before the end of her sixth year. Narcissa agreed then, not anticipating the pain it would cause them both in the future. Lily gestured for Narcissa to sit, pulling her out of her thoughts. “I’m fine standing.” She waved Lily off. Lily sighed, knowing Narcissa well enough to know she wouldn’t budge from where she was, so Lily moved over to her.

Silence hung over their heads like a guillotine, one that would be let loose at any moment if either of them said a word. Both of their minds were racing, so much was left unfinished between the two. Lily knew if this went on any longer, it would end with nothing being said at all, and them becoming strangers once more. There was just so much to say, that she wasn’t sure where to start. The apology? What happened last year? How Narcissa truly felt about her…

“Narcissa–” Lily started but stopped when she saw Narcissa slightly flinch, immediately switching her words, “Cissa. What’s… what’s this?” Lily motioned between her and Narcissa, “There’s no way we’re just friends. You can’t play all that– as just friends.” Narcissa’s heart stopped. They were. They were only friends, there was no way they were anything but. Narcissa didn’t like girls. No– she couldn’t. There was no way her feelings for Lily were anything besides platonic. But the small flutters in Narcissa’s heart meant something, she knew this. She wouldn’t believe it though.

“No. We’re friends Lily. We always have been.” Narcissa dismissed promptly. There was no room for love in Narcissa’s heart. Especially not for a girl.

“We’re not. We kissed.” Lily looked at Narcissa head on. It was time they faced this.

“Because you asked me to Lily. I only did it because you asked.” Narcissa refuted.

“You told me you liked me, Cissa. And I know, I know you didn’t mean it platonically.” Narcissa wanted to dissapear. Lily didn’t understand. She didn’t like girls. She didn’t…

“Tell me honestly Narcissa,” Lily continued, not even minding the fact that she used her whole name once more, “Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll leave. Tell me you feel nothing and I’m gone. Forever.”

Feeling more than she ever had in her whole life, Narcissa was scared. She needed Lily, more than the air she breathed. Lily was her life, her flower, hers. Narcissa couldn’t imagine a life without Lily, not after experiencing it for the last year. It was excruciating. Every single day, Narcissa could not stop her thoughts from wandering back to her friend. She was always in Narcissa’s head, even when she isn’t around. Placing it out in front of her, Narcissa couldn’t deny it anymore. She didn’t like girls. She liked Lily. She loved Lily. More than anything else in the world. More than her own life. But they couldn’t be together.

“I’m married, Lily. This isn’t fair.” Was all she could respond with. She wanted to scream. She wanted to tell Lily she loved her too.

“That wasn’t the question,” Lily’s voice began to crack, tears spilling down her cheek, “Do you, or do you not, love me?”

“I don’t like girls, Lily.” No, I like you, resounded in the back of her mind.

“That wasn’t what I asked you!” Lily was now sobbing, taking shaky steps towards Narcissa until they were less than a foot away. Instinctively, Narcissa wrapped her hands around Lily’s waist as Lily grabbed onto Narcissa’s dress.

“I can’t Lily– I just can’t…I love you, so much it pains me. But I can’t- we can’t-” Before Narcissa could even finish her refusal before Lily’s lips were on hers, kissing her with complete abandon. Narcissa wrapped her hands around Lily tighter, not wanting to ever leave this moment. They kissed with a passion Narcissa could only imagine in fairytales. A love like this was one of a kind– something on such a deep level one would die without the other. Their souls would never not think of each other. Narcissa knew that as soon as this kiss was over, she'd have to leave. To leave Lily again, and all of this behind. Lily had school, a life, and Narcissa did too. Narcissa had a husband and responsibilities. There was no way in this universe that they could be together. Narcissa wished they could, that there was a way. Her father would never stand for it though. Cygnus would find a way to torture Lily to get at Narcissa and force her to come back. She didn't have a choice. Lily pulled away, and Narcissa felt the weight of the world return to her shoulders. Lily's emerald eyes looked at Narcissa pleadingly, just like they did last year. “Please Cissa, not again.” But Narcissa had to live with the decision this time. There was no going back this time; No secret meetings like this one.

“I’m sorry, Lily.”

Were the last words she said to her, before placing one more kiss upon Lily's forehead and leaving. She was walking away from the only person she would ever love, and Lily's cries as she walked out the door would haunt her nightmares. As soon as she got home, Narcissa locked herself in her and Lucius’ room and cried. Cried like a child for the first time since she was a small child. She had lost Lily, her other half for the rest of her life. She knew it was her fault, it was her decision and she had made it. When Narcissa left that flat, and Lily, she left her whole being there as well. There was nothing left for Narcissa now in this damned life. She was bound to suffer the weight of her choices. But she’d have to stop the world, to stop the feelings she had for Lily.

@deadchaoticcosmos @marylily-my-beloved

#NightFlower #narcissa black #lily evans #lily x narcissa #narcissa x lily #lucius malfoy #bellatrix black #slytherin skittles #marauders girls #marauders era #marauders fanfic #marauders fic #chappell roan #good luck babe

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residents-of-the-darkforest · 2 years

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Dark Forest Resident: Jaggedbriar

Aliases / Nicknames: Mom, Mother, Our Precious Kit

Gender: she-cat

Sexuality: asexual, aromantic

Family: unnamed mother, unnamed father, unnamed brother, Lionroot (mate), Nightflower (daughter)

Other Relations: unnamed mentor, unnamed apprentice

Clan: Thunderclan

Rank: warrior

Characteristics: kills to protect her daughter from the life she herself couldn’t escape

Number of Victims: 3

Number of Murders: 3

Murder Method: crushing, ripping tongue out / drowning on blood

Known Victims: her mother, her father, unnamed Thunderclan tom

Victim Profile: those who bother her daughter

Cause of Death: head injury during a hunt

Cautionary Tale: don’t force your children into a life that they don’t want

Story:

A mate, a litter of kits. It was the perfect life.

And she wanted no part of it.

Jaggedbriar had never felt romantic or physical feelings for, hell, anyone in her life. She figured she wasn’t ‘normal,’ when the other apprentices would stay up late and gossip about their crushes and she had nothing to contribute.

She told her mother, even the medicine cat, and they all said the same thing of ‘you just need to find the right one.’

But the feelings they described when you apparently do find the ‘right one,’ were feelings she was unfamiliar with.

She had been a warrior for many moons without taking a mate, in spite of the efforts of Lionroot, who mooned over her, according to her parents. Eventually her parents snapped at her, angry that she was ‘isolating herself’ even though she spoke often with friends.

They claimed that she was ‘lonely’ even though she didn’t feel such a way, that she would regret not having kits while she was still able to, even though Jaggedbriar never had the stirrings.

They began to say how others were thinking she was weird, that to save her own image and the image of her kin, she had to settle down with a mate and, better yet, bear his kits.

So she gave in. She accepted Lionroot’s latest offer, and soon enough fell pregnant with kits. It was a small litter, that she was happy for. One precious, little she-kit.

She didn’t love Lionroot, but she did care for her daughter. It wasn’t her fault that Jaggedbriar was forced into having her. While Little Nightpaw trained how to hunt and fight, Jaggedbrair also took the time to teach her how to be a good Clanmate, respecting others’ bounderies, and how to be a supportive friend, etc.

Then Jaggedbriar’s brother died.

His bloodline was gone, and Jaggedbriar’s parents began pestering Nightflower into settling down with a mate and having kits.

No.

She loved her daughter, but it is not the life she wanted. And she will be damned if she will allow the same scenario to happen to her. She told off her parents, but they persisted, speaking to Nightflower behind her back.

Nightflower confided in her mother, admitting that the pressure was getting to her, but that she did not want to have a mate.

Jaggedbriar saw no other way around it. She got the idea when she noticed a crickety tree, loosened from the soil after the recent rainfall. She would only need to dig a little bit before it fell.

She couldn’t afford to go wrong.

And she didn’t.

Moons later, a tom kept pestering Nightflower, trying to get her to become his mate and insisting that she liked him and should just admit it.

He had to stop talking.

So she tore his tongue out. She only meant to injure him, and even then didn’t mean to be so brutal, but the rage had gotten to her, and he drowned on his blood.

Nightflower eventually came to her mother, nervously announcing that she found a mate. It was Goldenpetal, a she-cat.

She was someone Nightflower wanted to be with. Jaggedbriar loved her daughter, and was glad that she could now have a happy life.

She only wishes to have lived longer to witness it.

Additional Information:

--Might also make Nightflower a resident just because I like her name so much. She looks a lot like her mother, if a bit darker.