#no matter how hard i try it’s so difficult for me to make a comeback here 😭

[kyunsies]

hi all 👋 how are we doing today? 💖💗💘💓💕💞

[lucyandthepen]

last eden - i . | lmh

part i, ii, iii

only one thing has ever mattered to you, in this lifetime, and in all others : mark lee — even if he doesn't know yet, and even if he may never remember.

pairing: mark x reader verse: canon/idol!verse, soulmates trope rating: T warnings: none, possibly some mild language, like... one very tame mention of making love ig word count: 4.3k

A/N: yeah i have a lot of these fics that i'm repurposing that i desperately want to post so i can continue them so please look the other way at my random over enthusiasm i beg !! my only long-standing mark fic is actually gorgeous, and while we do love a good raunchy piece, i love mark way too much to keep it to just that. this was my first ever fic on my old blog, and i'm quite attached to the idea despite the fact that it's actually very difficult for me to write. i changed the name because i actually love this song by maktub (anything he puts out is gold to me), which i think generally fits the vibe of the story, so give it a listen if you're interested! so i hope you all enjoy this idol!verse soulmates fic! (help a gal out by reblogging, liking, and leaving a few kind words if you're so inclined!)

“This isn’t really your best idea.” 

You know this. You’re fully aware of the possible and endless risks as well as the minimal benefits. But you have to go. The thing that Heehyeon, your roommate, doesn’t fully understand is that this could be your one and only shot, and it could mean life or death. And you know that sounds pretty dramatic, but it really is. you don’t really have all the details (when, where, how, the important stuff) but that doesn’t matter to you right now. 

What really matters is that today is NCT’s comeback stage at M! Countdown, and you have to be there. 

Unfortunately, this isn’t one of those things you have to go to because your a die-hard fan and you just have to support the group and do all those fan chants and lie to your mom about going to the library when you’re really staying over outside a company building for hours just to wave those silly, expensive light sticks that look like they came out of the factory a bit funny. Sure, NCT’s music was nice (enough), but that isn’t really the reason why you told your mom not to come over this weekend because you would be out on a company team building retreat (as if they actually do that). More than anything, you knew you had to take this chance to see him. 

When you don’t respond, Heehyeon presses on with a firmer tone, as if she’s determined to convince you even though you both know nothing is really going to stop you at this point.

“Listen to me, _____________. You are going to a tightly-packed music show with at least a hundred other fans, and you are going to stand in the middle of that dense crowd and — and what? Stare up at him. That’s it. He’s not going to see you; that stage is so high up he’ll probably only catch a look at your forehead, and that’s if you make it up front. And since we both know you’re neither the tallest nor the luckiest person in the world, you know the odds are against you. You’re probably going to get pushed to the back, or stampeded, and it’s going to be messy, and you’re going to push, and they’re going to push you back, and your make-up is going to fall apart, or whatever. Is this really worth it?”

“I told you,” you try to sound patient, but the idea of being buffeted away from the stage by a large wave of sweaty bodies causes more discomfort than you had originally anticipated thanks to her colorful and supremely unhelpful description. “If being near the stage doesn’t work out, I’ll wait out back, near the exit, and —“

“Oh yeah, and ambush him. Because you’ll be the only one there, and because that’s totally safe.” She drops the slightly (well, pretty) judgmental tone when she sees your bottom lip quiver. “I’m not… I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to reach out to him. But this doesn’t sound like the best way, _____________. Security is so tight there, and NCT’s security is even more wary. Even if you do manage to get close, what in the world are you going to say?” 

“I— I’ll figure it out once I’m there.” You purse your lips; surely I love you; we’re meant to be together wouldn’t be that hard on your end, but the more important question is: did it sound sane? You didn’t express this doubt, though. Doing so would give your roommate more ammunition to turn back at you; you’d play it by ear when you actually got around to making eye contact with him (if that ever happened at all). And — well, maybe you wouldn’t have to say anything. Maybe, just maybe, this time, he’d remember you.

At that thought, you feel an initial wave of laughter, closely followed by a second, much more painful wave of nausea. Of all the absurd things you could think of, that was probably the most ridiculous. 

“This isn’t a good idea,” she recapitulates, shaking her head. “You know what they do to people who stalk idols and say they’re really going to get married to them, or whatever. You know what they’d call you.”

“But I’m not crazy like that,” you argue.

“I know that, but they don’t know anything about you! You’d be labeled a sasaeng. They’ll probably think you’re one of those girls that sneak into their dorms and sniff their underwear before selling them on the dark side of Taobao through a weird Chinese proxy or something.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” You ball your fists at your side, feeling a little betrayed. Heehyeon, of all people, should be able to understand why you had to do this, even if it was ludicrous. She had remembered you, reached out to you before you could even place her. She’d heard your story, understood that you had been waiting years for this moment, even stopped you on other occasions when you were about to do the same thing you were planning now, saying it wasn’t the right time. “I don’t have any other way of contacting him. I don’t even know if this is going to work, but you know I have to try, and I feel like this is the right time. I have to see him. I have to — I have to be with him. I don’t need your blessing to go, you know.”

There’s a palpable tension hanging over you now, and Heehyeon’s expression has gone mostly unreadable, save for that twinge of worry still present in her gaze. The soft sound of regular, heavy exhales punctuate every few seconds that pass, and you realize a little later that it’s your breathing, which has turned a bit heavy from the energy spent sort-of yelling at your roommate. 

“I know that,” she finally sighs. “I know that, _____________. I just wish you used a different way. Like, a safer, less crazy one.”

“I would use one if there were one.” You frown. “I’m not going to do anything stupid, like attack him. I would never do that.”

She doesn’t say much anymore, opting to watch you instead as you stuff a few more essential things in your bag. A hat. A fan. a bottle of water. Heehyeon had tried to coerce you to buy one of those cheering kits with those slogans, but you didn’t want to waste your money on it, and, truthfully, you didn’t want his name hanging on your walls like some sick reminder in case he rejected you.

“What did you tell your manager?” She asks in a clear attempt to lighten the mood. 

“I told her I was sick. You know she never really asks as long as I find someone to substitute for me,” you sling your bag over your shoulder, standing straighter. “How do I look?” 

“Pretty damn healthy,” she notes. “But also kind of crazy.” 

“I’ll see you tonight, Heehyeon,” you roll your eyes as you make your way out of the room. Before you close the door, she makes one last quick remark.

“Not if I see you on the evening news first!”

You have to take two buses to get to Sangamsan-ro. Even though the traffic is generally mild, the buses make too many stops and wait too long for old ladies with their fruit baskets and newspapers to get on. The wait is making you anxious, and you think about getting an orange to abate your growing hunger, but you’re also so nervous that you’re sure you’re going to spew it all out onto the bus floor anyway. So, you content yourself with listening to music and fiddling with your fingers in your lap. 

All you have in your phone is NCT’s music. The files were so large that you’d had to delete everything else you used to listen to and a handful of pictures too (mostly selfies that would have never seen the light of day, anyway) just to get them to fit. You used to only listen to the Korean versions, but you’d found all these little nuances in how Mark raps his lines depending on the language, so you’d started listening to the English and Japanese releases too, even though you can’t understand a lick of anything but ‘baby.’ Most of the time, you skip over to the relevant (see: Mark-filled) parts, already having memorized their timestamps to a kind of sick degree. 

It was kind of dumb, and sort of selfish, but you had never really identified yourself as an NCT fan anyway. If you had been an active part of the groups following, people would have probably called you an akgae. You were really only concerned with one member, and it was that member’s voice that filled your ears when you’d plugged your earbuds in and put the volume up.

The first time you’d seen him was in your last year of college. One of your college friends had asked you to accompany them to a Nature Republic outlet downtown. Despite your general lack of interest in make-up at that point in time, you’d gone because she’d promised to buy you a corndog. What you’d gotten instead was a large standee of a handsome guy smiling at you and holding out a pot of aloe vera gel. 

You knew his eyes. Even though his features changed a million times in your memory, you could never mistake his eyes for anyone else’s — soft, warm, brown eyes that you’d stared into for truly an eternity. His were eyes you could never forget, were never allowed to forget. You could remember the millions of times they’d smiled up at you in those past lives you were haunted with, twinkled with mischief and laughter in your presence, borne deep into yours on hot summer nights as you made love. Of all the uncertain things in all of the lives you remembered living, these eyes acted as your anchor. 

You’d almost forgotten you were there with a friend until she’d called out to you, telling you to step inside the shop. Trying to sound disinterested despite the fact that your heart was pounding, you asked who the guy in the standee was. Mark, she’d called him. Mark of NCT. He was an idol, a rapper in one of those up and coming groups that was starting to gain a lot of attention within the general public because of their ‘cool, chic concepts.’ At that information, your heart had fallen into a pool of acid in your stomach. 

Other times were hard, but not this hard. Most of the factors that had kept you or torn you apart were much larger in scale — war, famine, other natural disasters. This, out of all the other times, seemed to be the most difficult; he wasn’t an ordinary man anymore, but a god among men — a god you couldn’t be allowed to approach. You had ditched your friend the moment she’d gotten her change back at the counter, citing a sudden time of the month as the root cause, and dashed out and back to school, sparing only one last glance at the standee. 

You’d been waiting for him for years, carefully looking for any sign of him in the people around you, but you had grown tired and had come to believe that maybe, in this life, you had been set free — that he didn’t exist, and the curse would be over. However, as you pored over each and every teaser, music video, advertisement, and blurry, noise-heavy radio interview you could find even a sliver of his face in, you realized that the curse had come back, and in a much larger force than you could ever imagine. 

You’d stared at your desk for the longest time that day; the sun had dipped out of sight already when you’d sighed yourself out of your trance. It had never been this difficult. Having the Memory was mostly the worst thing ever, but its usual perk was that you could pick him out a little easier, and he was never too far away — nobody you ever knew in your first life ever was. They just kept coming up again and again, running around in little circles throughout time and space, and you recognized them in a way you’ve come to grow familiar with. It’s a tug, sort of like a tickle in your stomach, and you knew then that he was close by. The signal only stopped when you found him, and it usually wasn’t that hard. From there, you were responsible for weaving the same kind of story — one in which you would fall in love, be happy for a period of time, and then… well. 

Heehyeon has the Memory, too. She’d remembered you from a previous life, too, and picked you out of a packed line at a coffee shop, striking up one of the most awkward conversations you’d ever had the displeasure of being a part of because she hadn’t been sure if you remembered her. It was only when she mentioned that you seemed like someone she could be good friends with and that you also seemed like you just happened to like your coffee black with two sugars did you realize that her sudden onslaught of friendliness was a sign she might be like you: unable to forget. She’d actually once asked you if you’d tried just letting him go, and you’d responded with a resolute no. At this point, it was too hard to call him a lost cause, even if he really seemed it. How could you stop loving someone you know you’ve loved for millennia? 

He’s extremely handsome in this life, you’ve noted. Girls were falling all over him, which only made things ten times harder. A couple of years back, some rumors of him dating a labelmate had come up. Heehyeon had talked you through that long night of you clutching tissues in a fist and sobbing about how you didn’t want this anymore, how it was never fair, how every single time you had to find him was just growing more and more difficult until it seemed to reach an impossible arc. But, mostly, you’d cried because you hated the possibility — probably the confirmation — that he didn’t remember you at all. 

You didn’t really expect him to, but you always hoped. Every life, you would approach him, and he would be a clean slate. It was a tiring process, one you wished you weren’t constantly responsible for. Some days, you resented him; how could he live his life carefree, without even the notion that you two were meant to be together? Most days, though, you just longed for him. Him, and a happy ending. 

You let out a sigh as the track changes. His voice greets you again; over time, you’ve noticed it sounding even cooler, more impactful. He’s doing well for himself. And here you are, attempting to make yourself stand out in a pool of fans he probably can’t even see clearly. Nice.

You get to listen to about half of the newly released album before you realize you’re nearing your stop. Sidestepping a couple of baskets of oranges, you make it to the door and dash out. Heehyeon had drawn you a crude map to CJ E&M, and you’d been skeptical of it at first, but you realize now you would have gotten lost and missed the stage long before you got there if you had gone in blind. You’d make sure to thank her when you got back. If you did actually come back in one piece. 

Heehyeon also hadn’t been joking; the line outside looks like it would fill a whole section of Jamsil. You’d heard of the dedication of some of these fans, but you’d never seen it like this, nor had you ever actually been a part of it. Kids were really up at three in the morning in support of NCT. Many of them are probably here specifically in support of Mark, you think. Sure enough, the people you line up behind are holding holographic slogans with the print “Mark-yah!” You swallow hard, trying not to regret your decision not to partake in that. 

It feels like hours before you get even close to the door of the building. The chatter has died down a little, but not by much; even with less people ahead of you, the noise pollution increases in tandem with the excitement in the atmosphere. You’re not excited, though. You’re sick to your stomach, wishing you hadn’t come alone and wondering if you were going to regret this. Probably. Luckily, a couple of teenagers behind you strike up a casual conversation starting with “ah, it’s getting more humid now,” and you take turns complaining about what the weather would probably be like later on in the day before you start talking about NCT. They’re both Jaehyun fans, and you think about whether or not you remember meeting him in a past life. Nothing really rings a bell.

When you tell them you’re here for Mark, they giggle. 

“We know,” they chime. “You’re wearing blue.” 

“It’s his favorite color,” you say, a little defensively. 

“Everyone knows that. Everyone here wearing that ocean blue is a Mark fan. Didn’t he say so once?” They dissolve into laughter again, but you say nothing. Maybe he had said that recently. Then again, his favorite color has always been blue — the color of the sky and the sea he seems to love so much. 

The line grows shorter and shorter, and your ankles feel like they’re starting to swell. You’ve been standing for a good two hours now, and you regret not having bought one of those NCT membership cards that get you up to the front of the line. It’s really no surprise that you, the two Jaehyun fans, and the others in the line behind you are all squished in the back, just like Heehyeon had said you would be. It takes a good twenty minutes before the lights dim down and the stage lights start up, and you hear the buzz that increases in volume right before it becomes a collective deafening shriek from the crowd. The light sticks go up, and you’re momentarily blinded by the large stars that blink NCT in some weird logo form before you get your bearings again. By that time, the members have begun trooping onto the stage in a single file, and you forget your swollen ankles as you tiptoe and crane your head for a better view. 

He’s there, your mind screams. He’s right there. You’ve got a whole crowd in front of you, but he’s right there. 

The Jaehyun fans are losing their mind too; he’s talking, asking them how they found the album and encouraging them to keep supporting it. Typical idol stuff, you assume, but the fans go wild in an attempt to reassure him that they will. They all speak in a line, and you note Mark will be last. When the mic is handed over to him, the fans start screaming again. You feel like you want to yell as well, except you’re not sure if you’ll say something actually coherent that other people will hear. Instead, you tiptoe a little higher, fixing your pretty bad eyesight on his face and perking your ears up. 

“You’re all here so early,” he starts. “How long have you been waiting for us?” 

A flurry of numbers fly across the room. He smiles in this genuinely affectionate way even though his eyes can’t focus on a single person in the dark, and your heart stutters at the sight.

“Do your mothers know you’re here?” He’s teasing now. “You can’t tell them that NCT is the reason you’re not sleeping well, you know. Everyone, make sure that you eat breakfast and rest well before school today, okay?” 

While the crowd screams in response, you let out a little whimper. It’s a weak, pathetic sound, but it essentially sums up how you feel, seeing him like this from so far away. 

The pre-recording starts, but you barely catch anything. You’re too small for this kind of life, and you get so tired of tiptoeing that you actually do try to push your way through the crowd. Of course, this is fruitless, and you end up squatting by the back wall of the room, sipping on your water conservatively and listening to the Jaehyun fans do the chant religiously. 

NCT performs the song two more times before they’re saying their goodbyes. You muster up the energy to stand again and make a beeline for the exit before everyone else can smash their way through. The sun is almost up now; beads of sweat form on the nape of your neck as you round the building, trying to find the indicated spot that Heehyeon had marked as the back exit of CJ E&M. You worry about how you’re in the wrong place for about ten minutes until you see the two Jaehyun fans turning the corner quickly, obviously with the same goal as you: to catch NCT as they leave the building. 

In no time, the fans have gathered at the spot again, and it seems like they’ve multiplied tenfold; the chants are louder and there are girls with gigantic cameras trying to shove you away from the spot. Security from the company camps out in front of you, their gazes shifting from the door to the crowd and back again. 

People around you roar the moment the doorknob turns. Nine of them file out, now in regular clothing, surrounded by their own security. You feel a surge of force behind you, trying to push forward, and someone’s camera lens hits you hard in the side of the face. You barely have time to cry out in surprise, caught in what would have been a scream of pain, when you see him. 

In the growing light, Mark looks like a king. No — like a god, actually. Everything on his face shines even when minimal sunlight strikes it; his teeth help, too, brightening his face as his mouth hangs open in an easy laugh. He’s talking to Doyoung and has to face him, his sharp jawline being the first thing anyone can see from that perspective, and it’s that angle that creates all these alarms in your head. 

For some reason, you’ve blocked out the noise around you. Even the pain from the camera lens attack isn’t bothering you as much anymore; you feel like you’re in an aquarium, and all the screams are on the other side of the glass. Your vision tunnels; all you can see is him. 

You’d promised Heehyeon you wouldn’t do anything stupid. Again and again, she’d asked you and drilled you and reminded you that you weren’t supposed to do anything that would get you into trouble. Even with those promises you’d made, she’d still doubted you. Later, when you’d tell her this story, she’d roll her eyes and yell I told you so!, because, well, she did tell you. And, when you’d look at it in retrospect, you’d see that you should have listened. 

Right now, though, you’re walking. Somehow, the camera lens that had attacked you had turned its gaze onto much more important targets; the guard stationed in front of you grunted in pain and reflexively retracted his hand after the lens made contact with it. It wasn’t a long movement, but it was enough for you to be pushed forward by the crowd. Enough to get your feet moving. 

Other fans had stopped trying to break through; though many were still hysterical, most were trying to take pictures of the members as they climbed into the van. One by one, they were disappearing before your eyes. No, you thought to yourself. Your chest tightened. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you think that the noise behind you has gotten much louder. Not now. He hasn’t seen me yet. Not yet, please. 

You don’t realize that your feet have picked up the pace, and you’ve broken into a short sprint before the building security could catch you. It’s too late; he can’t leave his post, and he only has to hope that NCT’s staff are well-equipped to fend off a running girl. They are, but they’re too busy helping the members that they’re caught unaware — just long enough for you to be within an arm’s reach of them. 

Mark is almost in the van; he’s caught off-guard, too, and he doesn’t realize that something’s not right until you’re already there. Security grabs his arm and tries to tug him out of your reach and into the van at the same time that a strong hand grapples at the back of your shirt. Doyoung, who had been by Mark’s side, tries to use his arms to shield you from his friend when he realizes who you are targeting, yelling out something you can’t really understand. 

It’s a ten-second long struggle of limbs in which you hear your own “Let go of me!” harmonize perfectly with Mark’s frantic “What the —?” Somehow, though, you’re able to fight through Doyoung’s arms and grip Mark’s wrist with a sweaty palm. The contact causes him to turn back reflexively, eyes wide in shock. 

His eyes. God, please, won’t he recognize me? Your fingers close around his wrist a little more tightly. Your mouth is dry, and your throat is on fire. You’re wasting precious time. You only manage out a weak, “Please, Mark, it’s me,” before he’s twisting his wrist away. The arm that gripped your shirt moves to lock around your waist, and you’re hauled, empty-handed, away from the van. Awareness you’d lost slowly trickles back into you. The crowd isn’t screaming at the members now; they’re screaming at you. They’re angry. As you’re dragged away, you vaguely note that the Jaehyun fans you were with are fuming behind the security guards still keeping them in place. 

The security guard that carried you off like a rag doll plants you in front of him, and he lets go of your waist but still keeps his grip tight around both your forearms, which have been twisted behind you. You have no choice but to watch from afar as the members drag Mark into the van, looks of concern etched across their faces. They ask him if he’s hurt, and he shakes his head. Right before the door closes, he quickly glances back at you. Your heart sinks for the second time today as you see something in his eyes you’d never seen before. 

Fear. Mark is afraid of you.

[tomorrowxtogether]

BEOMGYU: “We’re a team, so I want to work together to make it happen”

TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Name Chapter: FREEFALL comeback interview

2023.10.27

Eight months earlier, BEOMGYU told us he didn’t want to lose to himself. Now he says he’s found a way to persevere.

You mentioned you were very happy and healthy throughout the second tour.

BEOMGYU: I didn’t get bogged down by the fear of what happened that one time. I was determined to overcome it. I did plenty of preparing physically and mentally in order to avoid a repeat of last time and handled everything well. I envied the other members of the group during the last tour and was sad that I couldn’t fully enjoy the concert experience due to my physical condition. I put all my worries aside this time and just focused on performing and I was a lot happier.

Have you mastered how to handle yourself in the face of extremes and how to overcome them?

BEOMGYU: Even though it was tough, things still worked out in the end, so I thought, Everything’s fine—it’s not like I’m going to die. (laughs) I kept experimenting by trying different things to check if I still felt my best after. I tried not eating before concerts, drinking energy drinks some days, taking arginine on other days. In the end, I found it’s always best to eat and having one multivitamin is enough to give me energy without putting a strain on my body. It’s like I found my own personal winning formula. (laughs)

Have the positive emotions you experienced during the tour carried over to have an effect on your everyday life? You mentioned in a previous interview that you felt like you had attained spiritual enlightenment. (laughs)

BEOMGYU: I mean, I’m happy. (laughs) Not a lot has changed, but while I felt like I was in a sort of state of nirvana back then, now I feel like I’m taking care of what I have to do every single day and accepting things for what they are—just going with the flow. These days I keep thinking, even if I don’t understand something, it’ll all turn out okay in the end if I just go with the flow. At the end of the day, I’ll just go home and get some sleep. All things shall pass. And then I feel fine. There’s no reason to get all worked up about things and let them get to me.

I guess that’s what you meant when you said that—“all things shall pass”—during the tour, which turned out to be like a catchphrase for you.

BEOMGYU: Exactly. But I was trying to make myself believe that before and pushing myself, whereas now it’s how I really feel.

It seems like you’re continuing to live the life of an artist as you overcome those things that you feel you just aren’t naturally compatible with.

BEOMGYU: I was absolutely born for the stage, though. No matter how nervous I get, I always have a phenomenal time once I get on up there. But what I found emotionally draining once we got on tour was that every place in the world has different views and I had to learn to adjust quickly to those. That was a difficult process. Not to mention I became a lot more introverted after we debuted, so I found it really hard communicating with all those people while promoting internationally. The pressure from that kept weighing on me while we were touring. But we did similar promotions recently and I went out of my way this time to go up to people more and reacted to things in over-the-top ways despite my terrible English. (laughs) But it was pretty good. I think I’ve learned some ways to overcome things.

Have you also changed the way you recover and distribute your energy now that you’ve been to so many different environments?

BEOMGYU: That part’s still the same. I get in, drink some barley tea (laughs) and fall asleep watching Netflix. I’m the type to pour 100% of my energy into everything I do. I try to be as energetic as possible whether I’m on a variety show or performing on stage, so my batteries are always going from 100, down to 0, back to 100, to 0, and on and on. (laughs)

And the stages you performed on keep changing, too. There's something new to grasp and adjust to every time, so you must have to be hyper focused.

BEOMGYU: Interestingly, if you perform 30 times, you’d think it would be easier by the 30th time. But if you keep doing the same thing over and over? Then you actually start to mix things up. I don’t know if it has something to do with complacency, but I make mistakes more frequently as time goes on. So the more you go on, the more you have to really focus on each performance. The idea is to never mess up the parts that have changed or I’ve messed up once before, ever again.

It’s amazing how you took the most impressive moves in “Back for More” and made them that much better by putting your own spin on them.

BEOMGYU: I think I mentioned before that, when I first hear a song and see the choreography demo, I can picture things, like how to convey certain parts, or maybe if it would look cool if I looked away like this. It can be a little hard to explain because it’s all in my head. I thought a lot about the part in the chorus after the second verse where we jump up and whip our hands in particular to figure out how to make it look cooler.

And were you satisfied with what you landed on?

BEOMGYU: Yes! But I always end up liking what I do. (laughs) I’m really proud of it. (laughs)

You said before that you watched your old dance videos to prepare for the tour and that you found a lot of parts that weren’t up to your standards. Do you feel you improved while learning the single “Chasing That Feeling”?

BEOMGYU: I used to be obsessed with putting the maximum amount of energy into my dance moves. Then I got some messages from friends after the year-end awards shows, saying, “You were too intense. You should tone it down a bit.” I thought the best thing for those big performances was to put more and more energy into them, but lately I’m trying to dance in a more balanced and elegant way. The choreography for the new single isn’t that intensive, so I picked it up really quickly, but I know I have to practice how to express myself in a greater variety of ways. I always feel like, if I perform something live once, it’s a lot different from when I’m practicing to get the hang of it. I think it all becomes clear after performing it.

You struggled a bit singing the last album’s single because of the pronunciation. Did you face any similar challenges this time around?

BEOMGYU: There’s a line in the verse—“cheonguk-eul deungjin nan”—and to make that eu sound in the syllable deung, you have to narrow the inside of your mouth. I tried singing it 10 times, and missed the mark 10 times. But then, I once again attained enlightenment. (laughs) Now when I sing it, my voice never cracks. I figured out how to shape my mouth to pronounce it correctly and persevered. I wasn’t originally supposed to be the one to sing that part, but as soon as I heard the song, I said, “I have to be the one to do this! Can I? Please, just trust me. Give me a chance. I’ll make it work.” And I got the part. So I studied the part carefully to make sure I could get it done no matter what.

Songs that align with your vibe, like “Deep Down” and “Skipping Stones,” really bring out what makes your voice so alluring.

BEOMGYU: I’m especially fond of “Skipping Stones,” and most of the other songs off the album are all in genres and styles I like, so it was really fun to record the vocals. Sometimes I’ve done things where I thought, This doesn’t really let me show off my vocals, but I think the new album let me sing in a way that’s closest to my natural voice.

Are there also songs you helped write the lyrics to that you find easier to get into since they’re in your style?

BEOMGYU: The songs I find the easiest to get into are those where the emotions are most realistic and I can be honest about my feelings. For example, thanks to my own personal experiences, I can take on topics like liking someone or dealing with difficult emotions and add my own personal touch to them. But songs that are like The Star Seekers are written to conform perfectly to a theme. Was that a really T thing to say? (laughs) To be honest, I feel like I’ve already said everything I have to say about seeking stars, going through hardship, and growing up on repeat. (laughs) But I really liked writing “Blue Spring” since it’s truly about us.

You also produced that song. How did that go?

BEOMGYU: I pictured people singing along to it right from the outset, so I purposely gave it simple chords when starting out. There’s three or so songs I made while just playing around on guitar at home. We spent hours poring over chords in the studio, too, but I ultimately chose the track I made at home. “Maze in the Mirror” and “Blue Spring” are both about how I felt before and after knowing MOA. As you know, we went through a lot of hardship, and now we’re out there singing for all of them. I remember how hard those chilly blue days were, but I also know how happy I am now, so the song really tugs at my heartstrings. I have to hold back my tears whenever we sing the line, “No one knows about that winter,” in concert.

You’ve seen MOA as your best friend for a long time now, but when I watch your most recent Weverse Lives, I get the feeling that you want to have an emotionally closer relationship with them based on how you keep your streams laid-back.

BEOMGYU: I think it’s better to be natural and keep it real when I do Lives by myself than to be TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s very own BEOMGYU. Sometimes I just, you know, put my phone down next to me with music playing like a radio or something, lie down, and start talking. All I want from my relationship with MOA is to have honest, human conversations—not artist-to-fan conversations, but casual, natural conversations.

It's a dead giveaway that you’re looking to have a genuine relationship with them when you let MOA listen in on your phone conversation with your mom in the middle of a Live. (laughs)

BEOMGYU: I want to show them how I really live. (laughs) I can show MOA the kind of chemistry I have with other people. I’m always quick to call my mom when the other members pull a “Tallulah” on me. I don’t like that my mom doesn’t take my side, but I know she’s just having fun. (laughs)

TAEHYUN once said you have a knack where “he can talk and everyone would not find him annoying.” It seems to me like you already know the others will still find you cute no matter what kind of annoying jokes you play.

BEOMGYU: I’m good at walking that tightrope. (laughs) I was born with it. (laughs) I’m always messing around with SOOBIN, too, but if I think he’s being serious, I back off right away. I can usually tell how someone’s feeling just by the look in their eyes, so I intuitively keep my balance while walking that tightrope. (laughs)

What are you like when you’re with your family? It seems like your dad really means a lot to you, seeing as, when you were asked if you could live as someone else for a day, who would it be, you answered, “my dad.”

BEOMGYU: I’m better behaved when I’m with my family, and I like chatting with my mom and dad. We can talk for hours when we talk about the things they want to know about me, things I want to know about them—that kind of stuff. Like I always say, if I ever become a dad, I want to be just like mine. He’s considerate, and he and my mom are still like a new couple. They’re so cool. I even told that to my dad recently and he said, “Thank you for being my son and for growing up into a wonderful young man.” We still say “I love you” to each other. Our family’s full of love. (laughs)

I remember you said that you kept looking for MOA and their dads watching your concerts together.

BEOMGYU: Most likely those dads were there because their daughters or sons like us and they tagged along. I thought it was really cool that they were right there with them having a good time. I spent a lot of time with my dad when I was younger, too. One time I woke up at three in the morning and went all the way out to Taebaek with him to watch motor racing, and we would play soccer or baseball together before school. It’s experiences like that that let me know how good those memories are going to be for MOA when they look back on them someday.

You’ve said the other members of the group are like a second family to you. It was especially touching when you were nervous before going on stage and you said, “When I’m with the other members, I’m not worried.”

BEOMGYU: I was actually three times as nervous for our performance at the MTV Video Music Awards than any other concert. My heart wasn’t going ba-bum, ba-bum—it was going babumbabumbabumbabum. But right before we got on stage, we put our hands all together and yelled, “Fighting!” And then we hugged each other. That really brought me comfort. The other members are the only ones I can lean on whenever I find myself in that kind of unfamiliar, difficult environment. When I see one of them having a hard time, I feel like I should put my own problems aside for a while and work harder for their sake. And I think that’s all possible because we’re a family.

Is that also why you decided to work together to reach the very top, like YEONJUN and TAEHYUN talked about on SUCHWITA?

BEOMGYU: I had a really hard time during and after our first world tour, and I was certain that, unless I’m healthy, there would be no point in making it to the top. I was firm about that. So if I’m being honest, I felt pressure because of YEONJUN and TAEHYUN’s vision. I’m the kind of person who strives for happiness in his everyday life, but they said they feel like making it to the top is what would make them feel happy. What could I do? We’re a team, after all. We work together for the sake of each other’s happiness. I thought it over and said, We’re a team, so I want to work together to make it happen. If that’s what everyone wants, I’ll work hard alongside you. Let’s put in the effort and make it to the top.

That makes me think of how you made a point to say you like movies to have a happy ending no matter what.

BEOMGYU: I don’t like when they’re left open-ended, and I can’t stand sad endings. I get completely absorbed in the plot of movies and all the emotions there when I watch them, so it feels like I am the main character. I root for that character with all I’ve got and hope they’re happy ever after.

And you see the happy ending you wished for in your future, don’t you?

BEOMGYU: It certainly feels like I’m moving towards it. (laughs)

[royal-they]

really short gustholomule thing i made because the idea of it is too long for me to make into a comic. also kinda writing practice since i havent done creative writing in awhile.

--------------------------

“Ugh stop it!” Mattholomule whined, playfully shoving away Augustus.

“Whatttt?” Gus said innocently “I thought you loved hugs.”

Matty felt his face flush, “Oh my titan shut up, besides that was not a hug, you tackled me.” 

Gus smiled, a big evil grin on his face; “I’m not hearing a no to hugs!” 

He wrapped his arms around Matty holding his closer while Mattholomule tried to squirm out of Gus’s arms. It had been a few weeks since they’d last seen each other - Gus had been busy with flyer derby practice since the season was coming to an end - but apparently that was enough for Gus to be super clingy and affectionate. Matty remembered receiving Gus’s message on his scroll excitedly telling him that he wanted to meet him at the Graveyard. Matty had quickly texted, “Okay” and hit send. He had wondered if he should perhaps add more to the message. Should he add that he was happy to see him? No that was stupid and just as sappy as Gus’s entire existence. Still when he reached the graveyard he found it hard to conceal his blush. Hopefully Gus wouldn’t notice? (Deep down maybe a small part of him did want Augustus to notice at the same time though.)

“Ugh you’re so clingy and annoying.” Mattholomule complained, crossing his arms in defeat. Gus noticed he had stopped squirming but decided not to tease Matty about it. 

“Hmm well you still agreed to meet me so you kind signed up for my clingy annoying self to be bothering you.” Gus replied with a small smirk. Matty felt his ears getting hotter as he struggled to come up with a comeback. To his luck their banter was interrupted.

“Ah! You have finally returned to us it seems.” The guardian of the Looking Glass Graveyard said, appearing behind them. He patted Augustus on the back causing him to quickly bring his arms to his sides awkwardly. Mattholomule felt his face trying to frown and quickly caught himself before he could show any signs of being disappointed by the absence of his friend's affection. 

Gus felt hot as the guardian said “us,” he tried not to read too much into it though; after all it wasn’t like Mattholomule really came to the graveyard much when he wasn’t there. He quickly tried to compose himself. 

“Yep, happy to see you as well.” He said politely, trying not to seem flustered “Do you have anything you want us to help with?”

The guardian tapped his chin trying to think; “I was thinking about covering up some of the gates that lead here so then only you two would know about the graveyard, but that’s incredibly difficult to do with just illusion magic…”

“Oh well Matty’s really good with construction magic!” Gus said excitedly bouncing on the tips of his toes while Mattholomule felt his face flush at Augustus’s pet name for him along with his comment on his skills, “We could totally go cover it up.”

The guardian happily clapped his hands together, “All right then! I’ll make you a map and send you all on your way then.”

—-----------------------------------------------

When the two reached the gate Mattholomule started to try to brainstorm ideas about how they could use construction magic to hide the gate. It was hidden by trees but still he knew it was also close to a road that led to the market. It was only a matter of time before someone found it.

“Got any ideas how we could cover the gate up?” he said, turning around to face Augustus.

“Hmmm maybe you could make a huge statue of a monster?” Gus said, waving his arms around as if to emphasize the size of the statue he envisioned. 

“I hardly think a huge complicated statue makes people less interested in investigating the gate of Augustus.” Mattholomule replied, turning back around to face the gate to distract him from thoughts about how adorable his friend was being.

“You know you can call me Gus right?” Augustus said leaning on the gate so he could face Mattholomule who seemed quite flustered by his presence. 

“Oh I guess I am just used to calling you Augustus because that’s how you were introduced to me.” He said trying not to linger on the topic for too long.

“Really, I thought I was mostly going by Gus by that point?” Gus said, confused by Matty’s response.

“Oh I mean yeah-” Matty felt his face growing more red. 

“Didn’t I introduce myself as Gus Porter and not Augustus Porter?”

“Well yeah but um,” Mattholomule tried to focus at the gate as he crossed his arms trying to not make a big deal about what he was about to say, “I saw you and your friends once in the cafeteria and I asked someone what your name was and they said Augustus so I guess that’s just your name in my mind.”

Gus felt a little taken back, “Why did you ask specifically about me?” he asked with a flirtatious tone trying to play off his question as a joke. 

Mattholomule pulled on the hood of his school uniform trying to be distracted by anything other than Gus’s seemingly sparkling eyes.

“I don’t know.”

“Really?”

“Ugh I just thought you were cute okay?” Mattholomule yelled losing the little self control he had managed to maintain for so long that kept him from admitting that fact. Gus felt himself nearly fall over when Matty said that but managed to somehow not. He felt like screaming and could feel himself getting just as red as Matty already was.

“Wait you thou-”

“I still think that, okay?” Mattholomule felt himself just starting to let go of the barrier he had built up in his mind that had allowed him to deny his feelings for Augustus for so long “I just thought you were really cute but I was freaked out by it and then I was a horrible person but then you still became friends with me and then we started meeting at the graveyard more and more and then I started to realize that you’re really cool and amazing and I really like spending time with you but you’re like my only real friend and now you won’t want to be friends and then-”

Augustus grabbed Mattholoules hands that were covering up his face and found that underneath were tears. Mattholomule closed his eyes trying to stop crying and pull his hands away despite not wanting to break away from Gus’s touch. 

“I’m sorry…” he said softly, the tears beginning to make his eyes hurt.

“Matty it’s oka-”

“You hate me. Everyone has always hated me and you are going to hate me now and-”

Gus held Matty’s hands firmly and brought his face closer to Mattholomules. “I don’t hate you.”

“But-”

Augustus brought his hands up to the sides of Mattholomules face as though it would make the words he was saying have more of an impact.

“I don’t hate you Matty, I think you’re wonderful.”

“Nobody thinks that, you don’t have to lie to me.” Mattholomule felt himself wanting to lean more into Augustus’s hands and just feel them brushing away his tears forever but he screamed to his brain to stop. There was no way no way that Gus would ever feel the same way. Gus was the most amazing, adorable, smart, kind, and funny person Matty knew. He was the wonderful one. Matty was just Matty; he didn’t even like himself. How could anyone else?

“I’m not lying,” Gus felt slightly hurt by the thought that Mattholomule thought that he would ever lie about something like that, “I love you more than anyone I’ve ever known.”

The world seemed to stop when Augustus told him those words. Like everything could just be over right then and there because then everything would be perfect forever. Mattholomule didn’t want to believe that though. Surely he had misheard. But he hadn’t. Maybe this was just another crazy dream. But in dreams Gus didn’t look at him the same way he was at that moment. Mattholomule knew that his brain would never be able to come up with the way Gus was looking at him right then and there. Pure love and maybe a hint of concern. Nobody had ever looked at him like that and he hoped that nobody else ever did. Gus was the only person Matty would ever want and he finally knew for a fact there was no backing out or denying that fact at this point.

He met Gus’s eyes and felt the tears stop as Gus slowly leaned toward him pulling his hands closer to his own face until Matty’s was touching it. He felt Matty’s surprise but Matty didn’t pull away so he didn’t either. He just let himself fall right into the kiss. He felt Matty wrap his arms around Gus’s neck as the two closed their eyes. Everything about Mattholomule felt familiar even though it wasn’t at the same time. The way his fingers softly touched the back of his neck, the way his hair felt when it brushed Gus’s fingertips, the way Matty seemed to hold his breath as though scared none of this was real. 

Augustus slowly pulled away but only for a second before quickly placing a quick kiss on Matty’s cheek just to assure him that he wasn’t pulling away out of regret. He gave him a little shove as he pressed his forehead against Mattholomules. 

“C'mon’ we need to cover up this gate Matty” He said, reaching to take Matty’s hand. 

“Duh Augustus, that's the whole reason I’m here.” Mattholomule said with an eye roll taking his boyfriend's hand. 

But when Gus looked down to see their hands linked together he knew that it wasn’t and he was more than okay with that.

[bria-doublen-a]

Book Review: Heir of Fire

Non Spoiler Section

If you thought the first two books in this series were amazing, prepare to pick your jaw up off of the floor after this one because Sarah J Maas has been holding back. She demonstrates her immaculate skill in character development here, leaving you itching for more scenes with our favorite gang.

Now, this story does introduce some new characters and we jump around between three different perspectives all throughout the book. If anyone loves Celaena as much as I do, I’m sure you’re going to have periods where you’re feeling impatient and dying to get back to her. But let me warn you now: you’re going to have to learn how to share your time. Give these newbies a chance to surprise you.

In Heir of Fire, now that we know Celaena is really Aelin Galathynius, we get to watch her as she navigates a new land (at least new to us) in Wendlyn. All while she grieves the death of her friend Nehemia, and the loss of a great love with Chaol. And the way grief is described in this book is so beautifully painful. I don’t know how else to describe it.

I definitely had to pace myself with this book. It has a bit of a slower start, which means there’s a lot of time for Celaena to process and feel her emotions. This book is where she is at her lowest, so prepare to feel the secondhand depression. Definitely not for the faint of heart, but it only makes the comeback that much more rewarding!

So, what are you waiting for? Go pick up at that book and read!

Spoiler Section

Y’all this one was the best one yet!!!

I’ll admit, I was a bit skeptical in the beginning when Sarah introduced Manon. Well, not skeptical, per se, just kind of...I don’t know, annoyed? I didn’t mind switching POVs from Celaena to Chaol or Dorian, but whenever I had to sit and read scenes with Manon, it just felt like a commercial break in between the scenes of a movie or TV show.

I didn’t understand what her purpose was and I didn’t know why I was supposed to like her or root for her. Do we have any gamers here? Has anyone ever played The Last of Us Part II? (spoilers incoming btw) Introducing Manon kind of had the same reaction I had when I first had to play as Abby, which annoyed the hell out of me because it just felt like it was just to get me to build some kind of relationship with her, only to rip out the rug from under me when Maas tries to surprise us with the reveal that she’s actually a villain.

Obviously, that’s not what happened and obviously, I did end up LOVING HER. Honestly, I don’t know why I expected anything less from SJM! She continues to crash through the barriers of my expectations with her depiction of relatable and complex characters.

That scene where Manon falls in the pit with Titus and the bait dragon and realizes that size and brutality isn’t what matters—it’s the inner strength...*chef’s kiss* That was the moment that I realized that Manon was more than just a murdering psycho without a heart, regardless of how many times she tries to convince us of this. I don’t know about you all, but I’m getting major Zuko vibes from ATLA.  Honestly, I’m so excited to see what’s awaiting for her in the next book.

And Chaol—ugh. I never realized how hard I was leaning on Dorian and Celaena to help carry me through scenes with him until I was forced to watch him do his own thing without them. I’m trying really hard to like him, but he makes it increasingly difficult. Once again, I find myself wanting to know what happened before he came to the castle. What made him leave his family in Anielle? I know there’s a story there and I’m so desperate to know it, because I want to feel more than this bland dislike for him.

I know that Chaol sent Celaena to Wendlyn to protect her and I know that he has intentions of staying here in the castle to help keep Dorian safe as well, but I have problems with the way he explains his thought process here. He still so obviously views Celaena’s heritage and Dorian’s magic as bad things. Things he wishes he could change about them, things he wishes he didn’t know. But Dorian and Celaena aren’t the problem, dude! It’s you!

Dorian even says as much in an argument with Chaol, and I was so thrilled by this scene, because I really thought that maybe I’m being too harsh on him. Maybe I’m blowing things out of proportion, but no! Dorian calls Chaol out on his shit, saying, “you only accept the parts of us you want to accept.” And good for Dorian, because I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Speaking of Dorian, can we talk about how he keeps getting the shit end of the stick? My poor, sweet, Dorian! First, he gets dumped by Celaena (I’m still angry about this), then he has to watch his ex and his best friend get all cuddly (grrrr!), while learning he has freaking magic!!. He’s feeling alone and isolated and like his friends have completely shut him out (because they did) and then finally—FINALLY—we think he’s getting a break when we meet Sorscha. 

The amount of adoration I had for this girl is unreal. She was quiet and shy and kind and just everything that Dorian deserved...and she was killed by the king. Killed. The king freaking decapitated her. Was that really necessary?

Y’all. I was so stupid mad. If anything, Chaol should’ve been the one to die in that scene. A sacrifice like that would’ve been enough for me to forgive him and help me realize that he at least understands the problems in his choices and their consequences. But no. Chaol’s let off scot-free. Once again. *sigh*

Am I being too hard on him?

But let’s talk about Celaena and Rowan. First of all, I was not expecting to like this guy. He was rude and obnoxious and seemed to only want to hurt Celaena. I was never much of a enemies-to-lovers trope kind of gal, but I immediately caught that vibe when we first met him. Still, I found myself excited to see where it was going, because it was clear that Maeve had led Rowan to believe that Celaena grew up like a princess, never having to do a single thing herself. I can’t blame Rowan’s perception of her given what he thinks he knows and what Celaena refuses to open up about.

Aaaaaand, I was right.

I absolutely loved watching Rowan and Celaena grow closer. Even more, I loved the interractions she had with Emrys and Luca too. Every single character, small or large—even the villiains—had such drastic impressions on Celaena and forced her to address each dark corner of her past she tried to ignore.

The scene where she’s having her burnout while trying to protect the ward around the Mistward, where she’s trapped in her mind and the version of herself that uses Aelin as her name comes to her was absolutely amazing. I loved that this was Celaena’s turning point. I was almost expecting Maas to stop calling Celaena Celaena and move on to addressing her as Aelin. 

It was set up perfectly when Aelin came to Celaena, holding her hand out, encouraging her to fight back. The death of Celaena and the rise of Aelin. But I can also understand how confusing that would be. Though, at this point, she already has three names. Aelin, Celaena and Elentiya. I feel like anyone who tried hard enough could keep up.Plus, it would really accentuate the change in her mental state. Celaena never wanted to be queen. Aelin strives to reclaim her land. Meh. Oh, well. Either way, I am incredibly happy with how this book turned out.

All in all, this gets 5/5 stars from me.

[sparklingsin]

(push your heart, and pull away);

tom holland x female!reader

summary for series: you've got yourself in a predicament that involves fake dating the star employee of your company (who you might have feelings for), all to convince your family that you're finally happy, after what happened with your last shot at love. can you, the CEO of a booming business, your family's darling daughter pull off the biggest lie you've ever told? [inspired by and based loosely on The Spanish Love Deception by Elena Armas.]

tags and warnings (full fic): female reader, lots of romance tropes, fake dating, pining, tooth-rotting fluff, some angst, smut (future chapters) minors dni.

a/n: hi there! i am making a comeback as a writer so sorry if this is rough at first. the next few chapters are already written, so expect quick updates :P hope you enjoy the story!

CHAPTER I

"I'll do it."

You jolted at the sound, instantly hanging up the call with your best friend that you were on. She'd understand.

"I'll be your boyfriend," the gentle yet firm voice called from behind you.

You heard his words loud and clear alright but that didn't make them any more believable. You let the arm holding your phone slide down, praying that you had misheard him. You turned slowly, lips drawn into a line as you faced the source of the declaration.

Tom Holland. Senior Advisor at Meraki, your small gifting business that had taken off during the last year and was now the reason you were on the Forbes' 30 under 30 list. Smart, charming and hard-working— he was a star employee at your company. Everybody at your office adored him as well as his niceness and you had to admit, you didn't mind his company sometimes.

"How long have you been standing there?" you asked, putting on an air of nonchalance, trying your best not to lose your cool at this blatant invasion of privacy.

"Long enough to hear that you desperately needed a fake boyfriend. Aka me," Tom said dryly.

That was bold, even for Tom's standards.

"Need I remind you that doors are for knocking, Holland?"

Tom sighed and held his hands up in admission. "Okay, I overstepped. I assumed you were on a work related call and walked in. But… this seems like fate."

You rolled your eyes at him, even though it made sense. Tom was... not like the others. He was incredibly talented and fun to work with, was at one of the highest positions in the company and you considered him to be a decent acquaintance if nothing more.

He'd be someone who'd be able to navigate your... lifestyle easily if he put his mind to it. He had been at your company for almost a year now and was trustable. In the short deadline that you had to find a suitable bachelor, you didn't think you could find a better candidate.

But one undeniable fact remained. He was your employee and you were his boss. HR would have a field day, if they ever found out that you two were dating.

Well at least, pretending that you were dating. Because that was the problem at hand, the problem that had been slowly driving you insane for the past week, the problem you had created for yourself.

Your brother was getting married in a week's time and you had promised to anyone and anything that mattered, that you would show up with a boyfriend. Not a date, a boyfriend.

"Sweetie, would you be coming alone or..?" Your mother had asked, casually. This time, there was no avoiding the question. And while that had been a perfectly normal query, the tone with which it had been asked set your ego aflame.

"You've been through… a difficult time... but are you finally seeing someone?"

That had been the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Yes, mom. I am seeing someone. It's been a private affair. ..Yes. He will be coming to the wedding," you had snapped in an overtly cheery tone.

Why did you have to lie?

So easily you had told your family that you hid this from them because you had finally found something that felt too good to be true. You did your best to field any other questions (What was his name? What was he like? You wished you knew the answers to those questions too.). They lapped it all up easily, because they knew being a CEO, a woman in power at that, was hard enough without having to share your personal life with everyone too.

It was an absurd lie to tell too. Something that made no sense to lie about and yet, you had done it. If you backed out now, you'd have to concoct a story that would bring in even more questions and pity that you didn't have the energy to face. It was that or actually falling in love with someone in two weeks— one week now.

Herculean tasks were simpler. But you had bought this on yourself, in a moment of sordid weakness and you were going to deal with the consequences.

Which brings us here. To you, considering the possibility of having one of your star employees be your pretend boyfriend for five whole days.

You sighed, sagging against one of the chairs. This was getting too exhausting too quickly. You eyed Tom, as he patiently waited for your reply. His hair was perfect as usual, darkish brown and styled to frame his face well. He wore his usual office attire— a turtleneck and brown pants, his TAG Huer glinting in the amber light of the conference room. He always dressed impeccably.

"That is quite a generous offer. But what do you expect to gain out of this? You know very well that I will not be handing out any benefits with regards to the company. This is a personal matter."

Tom stared at you for a moment, expression unreadable.

"L/N, has it occurred to you that people offer to do things for friends without expecting things in return?" he said slowly.

Oh. This was news to you. You were not aware that Tom Holland thought of you as a friend, as someone he cared enough for to offer help.

The thought unearthed something deep within you, a bright flame that seemed to ignite increasingly coincidental to the times when Holland was around you, but you quickly pushed it away.

"I do not want any perks or grants. I am simply doing this because I want to."

You almost couldn't hide the surprise from your face.

Almost.

"And as a favour I can call in anytime I want," he added, a tiny hint of a smile playing at his lips.

There it was. Of course he wanted something in return, he just didn't know what yet. As quickly as the flame had burned into existence, it vanished.

You quirked an eyebrow at him.

"You're going to hold this over my head for the rest of our lives then?"

Tom smiled humorlessly. "Maybe."

Tom was trustable if anything. You didn't expect him to ever ask anything of you that would jeopardize everything you stood for. At least you hoped he wouldn't.

Still, you narrowed your eyes.

"Look, L/N. I really am your best option right now. I won't let you down. You have my word," he said fiercely, looking directly at you.

And something in those eyes, something you couldn't place, made you believe that he meant it. You didn't see him much outside of work, didn't know him anymore than most people at your company. But in your heart, even as you contemplated all the ways this could backfire, you knew that you could trust this man.

"What do you say, L/N? Do we have a deal?"

You considered him for a final moment.

You had one week left to find someone crazy enough to be willing to play the part of a pretend boyfriend. Someone who'd understand the situation and not put your reputation at stake. Someone you had at least some control over, in case things got out of hand. You were desperate, that much was true.

There didn't seem anyone more fitting than the man standing before you, with his warm eyes and beige turtleneck.

"Fine. We have a deal. But I will be making a formal contract for this and we can go over it tomorrow." You ran your hand through your hair. You really were doing this. "Lot's to brief you on."

Tom cocked his head to his side and tsk-tsked at you.

You looked at him questioningly.

"Really, darling? You want to voluntarily put something like this on paper? Too many movies about that being a bad call already."

The sudden shift in his boldness shook you more than you'd ever care to admit. The tiny flame had sprung to life again.

He didn't wait for your reply before he turned and walked away, leaving you alone in the conference room, cursing at yourself for getting into this mess. The gravity of what you had agreed to, had only begun to settle in.

Because you see, there was one more variable that you had decided to not think about in this equation. One variable you denied existed. One variable that you should never have ignored.

It was the fact that you had taken quite a liking to a particular someone.

A particular someone who had just offered to be your pretend boyfriend.

NEXT CHAPTER ->

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[michelle-is-writing]

Family Matters, Greg House

Word count: 1.7k~

In the time I’ve worked at Princeton-Plainsboro teaching hospital, some might say I'm the bubbly doctor in our group. Although I don’t know how true this might be, I do know everyone can agree I'm definitely more bubbly than doctor Gregory House, but that's for another day to discuss. I'm usually the one people send in to try and cheer up patients. Because of this, I mostly work in the pediatrics ward where young, sick children are. Sometimes, I have an easy time talking to the kids and making them happier, and sometimes, I don't; usually, when I'm upset, I have a hard time.

Right now, I'm having a very difficult time.

A young New Jersey girl at the age of 11 had developed mastoiditis, an infection that affects the mastoid bone above the ear and is typically caused by a middle ear infection. Usually, this all clears up, but sadly, this infection had grown to be so bad that the girl ended up with only twenty-three percent of her hearing left in the one ear. Although this is the case, I'm not having a hard time because of the girl's loss of hearing, no.

I have my own problems at the moment.

Since I'm working in the children's ward, I don't get to see Wilson or Greg as much as I want to. Despite Greg's tendency to be an asshole, he's still my best friend and not to mention that Wilson is the kind of guy anyone can talk to about anything. However, our schedules are all different, so, as I said: we don't get to see each other that often.

At least they're still in my life though. For my family, I can’t say the same. Recently, I've just lost the closest person to me in my family; although it wasn’t through death, but through immaturity and childishness. Because of this, all of my other family members have closed me out as well, causing me to be alone. With all of my friends busy and my family shutting me out, I have no one to talk to or enjoy time with... no one. I can't even get a boyfriend for Christ's sake, and it's not like the guy I have my eyes on actually likes me back. Greg is the type of guy you can easily fall in love with, yet at the same, you really shouldn't.

"Doctor (y/n)," the young girl by the name of Jessie states. Putting all my focus back on her, I remind myself not become distracted anymore today. This isn’t the first time, unfortunately. "Will my hearing ever return?"

I smile sadly at her and shake my head. "I'm sorry, Jessie," I tell her. "Your hearing in that ear won't return, but it's not a bad thing!" I assure her. She smiles in relief. "We can always get you a hearing aid, and that will help get your hearing back to normal again, but the wait might be a little long," I explain. "Is that okay with you?"

She nods her head at my question. "I'm okay with that, doctor (Y/n)," Jessie tells me, "I'll have my family help me until then," she smiles brightly. "You can always look up to your family, right?" She states, confident in her words.

Tears slowly rising to my eyes at the thought, I nod and quickly blink them away. "That's right," I tell her, still smiling. "And don't you ever forget it," looking toward her parents, I nod my head. "The discharge nurse will be here in a few moments with the papers. If you'll excuse me..."

Without another word, I quickly leave the room and walk as fast as I can to the nearest empty room. I prefer going to James’ office instead, but it's two floors away, and I don't want any awkward elevator trips. So, before I have a mental breakdown in the middle of the hallway, I find an unlocked janitorial closet before walking in and closing the door behind me, ultimately sliding down the hardwood door once it's shut.

Sitting on the cold, tile floor, I begin sobbing as quiet as I can, my hand covering my mouth. I already had my family drama on my mind all day, but for that girl to unintentionally throw it back in my face? That was the frosting on top of the already leaning, three-layer cake.

Tears stream down my cheeks like raindrops as I cry my heart out. I can tell my cheeks are red by the sensation of heat I currently feel on them; my hands feel it too. I'm crying so hard my chest begins to heave up and down as if I were having a panic attack. Oh God, I can't have a panic attack. Not here, not now.

Behind me, I feel two knocks on the door, causing me to halt. The only problem is: the knock wasn't above me, it was where my back is against the door. Remind you, I'm currently sitting on the floor. The only way someone can knock that low is if there is a midget behind the door there or someone used something like a cane... it's Greg.

Slowly moving up a little, I shakily open the door and let the grey haired man in, watching as he looks at me with pity. I've never seen the confident doctor House look like this with anyone. It's like a... a totally different Greg.

Sitting down beside me against the door, Greg drops his cane beside him as he sighs and wraps his arm around me before gently tugging my body close to his. Shocked, I tense up, tears no longer pouring out of my eyes. Greg never comforts anyone like this. He always makes fun of them or says something that many people take offense to, but he never... he never cares. He always brushes it off his shoulder, yet for some reason, he seems like he actually cares this time.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his voice deep as usual with no emotion.

I wait a few seconds before lying. "Nothing important," I tell him, my voice wavering from my scattered emotions.

Pulling me back to face him, Greg looks me in the eye before sighing again. "I know you've been crying by the wet tears on your cheeks, slight puffiness, and redness to your eyes, and fast-paced breathing - and I don’t even have to be a doctor to notice that," he breaks down my current state, lifting an eyebrow. "Now, are you going to begrudgingly tell me what's wrong or do I need to stay in here with you until you finally give in to all my unrelenting sexiness."

His comment makes me laugh, causing a grimace of a smile to fall on House's lips. Out of all of us, I've been the only one to do that. I've been the only one to break Greg's stone exterior and interior. Plus, It doesn't help that I like Greg romantically. I like the fact that he's confident and witty; he's not afraid to be himself. Although, he can still be quite an ass to others, but to me, he’s always been nothing but kind. Even when I first started working here, he was still patient and sweet - a rare sight to everyone else. It used to hurt me to think he’ll never feel the same way as me, but I’ve gotten so used to that fact that it doesn’t even bother me anymore.

"It's just... my family," I explain, Greg pushing my head back onto his shoulder as he holds me. At this point, I'm not shocked by anything he does. The infamous doctor could be high for all I know. He probably took a few Vicodin tablets before coming down here now that I think of it.

"They've completely... shut me out," I explain, shrugging as I rest my hand on his shoulder. "They never talk to me anymore, they've blocked me in any way of even trying to talk to them. My cousin just sent me an email last night telling me that I didn't need to contact them anymore as they no longer wanted me in their lives," I close my eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Plus, I wish I could work with you guys again," I take a breath before saying the next thing. "I miss you."

A few seconds of silence pass before Greg leans down to my face level. Opening my eyes, I'm greeted by his own sapphire orbs, watching as he continually inches forward until his lips plant themselves on mine. Our eyes close at the same time in response to the touch of our lips, and they stay that way too. With my heart beating fast and a different fire in my cheeks, I instantly respond to his kiss while placing my hands on the sides of his face, feeling his hands attach themselves to my hips as I do so. We kiss until we have to breathe, both of us pulling apart simultaneously.

"They don't deserve you," Greg tells me, a little out of breath. "You are wonderful; a decent and kind human being, inside and out," he takes a small pause, flashing his blue eyes down to mine. "I never thought I’d say this, but… because of you, I think maybe not everyone is a horrible person and that maybe I can be a bit nicer a time or two," he then smiles at me, kissing me once more. "You have made me feel love believe it or not."

Smiling, I lean up to kiss his forehead before sitting back down and resting my head against his chest, my eyes cast upon him as he looks down at me. "You've also made me feel love," I confess to him, my voice shy. "I've grown to love you as well. You and your sarcastic comments and witty comebacks and your insults to apparent stupid people," for once, he laughs, making me grin. "I can't help but love it all."

After a few moments, Greg speaks up. "I know I can't be your entire family," he murmurs, holding me close. "But I can try to be your... your..." He draws on, clearly trying to come up with an appointed title for himself. After a few seconds, I giggle and cut him off.

"Boyfriend?" I ask, making him roll his eyes.

"I was going to say significant other," he argues, looking over to me. "The term boyfriend is so, well, childish," he complains, making me giggle.

Leaning closer, I peck his lips. "Good thing you have a childish mind," I tease him, pressing my lips to his one more time before he responds to my comment with something horrible or completely inappropriate. It is Doctor House we’re talking about, after all.

[animehideout]

Toman’s Little Fighter.

Draken x fem.Reader oneshot 

Genre : fluff- angst-happy ending

Warnings: mention of violence-blood-kidnapping-swearing words.

Word count: 5.9k

Summary: Draken is assigned to convince badass (y\n) to join Toman for certain reasons. They have a dynamic relationship full of bickering. They end up falling for each other and confess under difficult circumstances.

“Ah what a day finally school is over” you said to yourself ruffling your hair and carrying your heavy school bag. “Huh what’s that sound?” you frowned and rushed to the source “ah really brats bullying a kid again? Why do they do that, should I help him or should I stop getting into fights this time?” you said watching them from a far. Three big guys were beating up the shit out of a boy. “ah shit I think I’ll never change” you breathed and walked towards them. The guy was about to throw a punch to knock that boy out but was suddenly stopped by a strong grip. All of them looked at you in disbelief, who are you? And what are you trying to do? “Are you lost beautiful?” said that guy smirking, the other two approached you one of them put his hand on your shoulder “How can we help you?” “Take your hands off of me brat” you said slapping his hand away and pushing the other guy’s fist that was stopped by you. “wow wow are you trying to get our attention huh? you can just ask honey” said the 3rd guy smirking “ple-ease leave d-don’t get yourself into trouble because of me” said that boy coughing on the ground, you smiled and said “don’t worry it will be fine” then you turned your face to look at them “3 VS 1? That’s not a fair fight…but it’s fair for me” “you better leave this place or I have to smash that beautiful face” “give it a shot then or you’re scared to get your ass beaten by a woman” you teased throwing your school bag on the ground ready to fight,  the guy was fueling with anger “you little-“ he ran in your direction and  grabbed your collar you twisted his hand making him growl in pain then you used your free hand to punch his stomach making him fall. The other two tried to grab your hands to stop your attacks but you were faster and more flexible and punched one of them on his nose making it bleed. It didn’t take you long to finish the fight, so when the other guy tried to fight you, you turned around then kicked his jaw (round side kick) knocking him down as well. “bunch of idiots. Ah I fucking hate bullies” you said fixing your skirt. You looked down “are you okay?” he nodded still shocked from the fight that happened before his eyes. Before you can say something else someone yelled “TAKEMICHI” both of you looked and there were 3 guys looking at you, you clenched your fists you thought they wanted to hit him “oh Mikey” said Takemichi. “so his name is Takemichi” you thought to yourself. You bend a bit to his level and said “well you’re safe now! Next time don’t stop defending yourself, even if your knees are on the ground you’re still able to stand up” you flushed him another smile then grabbed your bag and left. He was stunned by your presence. “excuse me!” said Mikey, you turned your head to look at him “thank you” he added, you just nodded and glanced at the two guys who were looking at you in pure shock and disbelief. “Draken, Mitsuya come here” said Mikey smiling, “Mikey did you see her?” asked Takemichi “she..she fought them” “yes we saw everything” “why didn’t you come?” “Well we rushed here to save you but we stopped the moment we saw her beat all of them up” exclaimed Draken. “Mikey don’t tell me that you’re thinking about that?” asked Mitsuya after seeing Mikey’s excited expression “Actually I am” he stopped for a moment then looked at Draken “oi ken-chin, I have a mission for you!” “huh?” “go after her.. you have to know where she lives, and you’ll start the plan tomorrow” “Mikey are you insane! There’s no way she would agree!!” fought Draken, “Yes Mikey , she even thought they were bullies I’m sure if she knew they’re actually gang members she wouldn’t rush to my rescue!” everyone nodded in agreement “but she knocked them down right? That’s what matters. C’mon you saw her fighting skills…Woah she was cool” ��Mikey-“ “That’s my final decision Draken, you have to do your best to convince her, and the rest is up to her” added Mikey getting on his motorcycle. “good luck!” muttered Takemichi, in return Draken rolled his eyes and rushed after you. You were walking to your house kicking rocks and lost in your thoughts “ah that tall guy looked so hot tho” you felt something strange, you felt like someone was following you “oh maybe it’s just a cat”..”Shit she almost caught me…so she lives here.. hmm not too far” he said as he saw you open your house’s door.  *The next day* “hurry up Draken” “damn it Mikey don’t be too excited about it”. It was a normal day for you ready to go to the martial arts club when someone suddenly appeared in front of you “hey” “oh hell- I saw you yesterday! You’re the hot gu- I- I mean you were there” “I don’t have time so you have to come with me” he said coldly “excuse you? Hah where are you planning to take me?” “to meet the Toman’s president” “Toman?” “Our gang” “g-gang?” you said as you took a step backward “and why would I meet your president or whatever?”. Draken took a deep breath clearly pissed “well that’s an order so you better come with me now” “or what?” “You’re really begging for trouble, aren’t you?” ”first all, whatever your name is, I don’t take orders-” “my name is Draken” “Okay Draken! move aside or I’ll be late and that’s a big no no for me” you walked beside him but he grabbed your wrist “Don’t lie school is over” “I still go to school clubs..is that a problem?” you answered offensively trying to pull your hand from his strong grip. “I’ll be back tomorrow”, then left, without giving you the chance to answer.  You were so confused why the hell a gang member is at your door, why his leader wants to meet you. All of these questions rushed inside your head but now he’s gone so probably you’ll ask him tomorrow if he had the courage to comeback. *Time skip* “you’re here again?” “listen I’m not trying to force you or-“ “oh really ? Because it doesn’t seem like that at all!” you said crossing your arms “it’s just a suggestion” “and I said no! is it hard to get it in your brain?”  “I can’t give up, this mission is my responsibility” “why would I trust you?”you exclaimed approaching him “and why would we hurt you? You saved our member so we have no intention to harm you” “please Draken just give up I’m not joining you, I want to have a normal life” in less than a second you were pinned to the wall, you gasped and looked at the man towering you, he was so close to you making your heart skip a beat “listen if the situation was in my hands I would never recruit someone like you, but unfortunately it’s Mikey’s decision” he said in a cold tone his eyes fixated on you. You pushed his chest and yelled “the hell are you doing?” he just gave you a death glare and left “YOU’RE CRAZY DON’T COME HERE EVER AGAIN-is he ignoring me?…that bastard!” you ruffled your hair and get into your house. *In Mikey’s garage* “Ken-chin finally you’re here…did you convince her?” “that brat ah she’s so stubborn” he said punching the wall “I don’t know why you’re so interested in her Mikey” “ah? Isn’t that obvious? she’s a strong fighter we need her” “NO WE DON’T MIKEY…we have all of these men. Aren’t they enough?” “no..” said Mikey munching on his dorayaki.  Days passed and Draken is still trying, he’s so fed up with you and the whole situation. Like he can just throw you on his shoulder and take you with him but Mikey warned him to not scare you away. “DRAKEN YOU NEED TO GO NOW” “huh chifuyu what’s wong?” “They’ll go after her! They knew about her address and they’re planning to kidnap her” “WHAT?WHY?” “did you forget that she knocked out 3 of them?-wait she doesn’t know that they were gang members?” asked Baji “…no..” “Draken “go get her before they can reach her house” “Draken I’ll go with you” said Takemichi “no stay here I’ll handle it” said Draken rushing out to save you. *meanwhile* “he didn’t come today I think he finally gave up…that’s better” you thought to yourself walking in your neighborhood. You were ready to take the stairs to your apartment when you saw 3 motorcycles there and 3 guys waiting by the stairs “huh who are they?” you took a step forward but stopped when you realized that you actually know that uniform, you gasped “no way did they come here to fight me again…aah bullies” unexpectedly you said the last word a bit loud. All of them looked at you “oh shit” and you started running all the groceries fell on the ground  “GO AFTER HER” all of them are now chasing you, they were so fast “YOU CANT RUN AWAY FROM US”. You stopped looking behind you when a hand closed your mouth and pulled you into an alley. Your back bumped into someone’s chest, you struggled to break free but you couldn’t “shhh”. Then you saw the guys run to the other direction and you were safe “stop squirming” you recognized the voice so you bit his hand that was on your mouth “ahh what the fuck” What you are doing here?” “Is that how you thank me for helping you?” “Well I didn’t ask for you help I could have handled it myself” “listen I’m not in the mood to argue with you! We’ve been arguing for the past two weeks” “then leave” he took a deep breath and approached you “they’re not bullies!” “Huh what do you mean?” “They’re from a dangerous gang, they’re our rivals and they wanted to kidnap you because you caused injuries to their members last time..So you’re not safe..At least for now” your eyes widened did you just beat up gang members? “What did I get myself into” “exactly! We didn’t know that they’re after you but I guess that’s another reason to make you come with me…i-I’ll protect you” you looked down, the situation is bigger than you thought “ahh I never learn” you said as you hit your head on the wall “I’m *hit* so *hit* stupid” “hey hey stop you’re so weird you know” said Draken placing his hand on your forehead so you wouldn’t hurt your head “I need to go to my house first I need to  bring some things” “that means you’re coming right?” you shrugged and said “however I don’t need your protection, I’m able to do it” he rolled his eyes and followed you sneaking into your house so they can’t catch you. “Take this” “huh?” “Wear this for your safety” “who said that I wanna ride your motorcycle?” “Stop being stubborn for once ..can you?” “I rather walk than get on this with you” “okay you wanna act like this then?” You ignored him and started walking but you felt two strong arms lift you up. “DRAKEN PUT ME DOWN NOW” you yelled trying to break from his arms but for nothing. He put you on the motorcycle and forced you to wear the helmet, you huffed in return, giving up, you couldn’t start an argument. He then started the ride, “is this your first time riding a motorcycle?” he asked “y-yes” “then put your arms around my waist or-“ “no I won’t” “listen idiot I’m just trying to get you safe to Mikey or else trust me I wouldn’t care” “so why you saved me from the bull- I mean from that gang?” , it was an awkward silence before he could answer, he didn’t expect a question like this “just for Mikey or else-“ “you wouldn’t care yeah!” you finished his sentence. You slowly circled your arms around his torso but you kept your distance from him, you didn’t push your body on his back and your arms were faintly wrapped around him. “Should I teach her a lesson” said Draken to himself and started the ride at full speed making you panic. You quickly tightened your grip around him and buried your head in his back  “slow down you brat aaaaah” you said shutting your eyes, he just smirked enjoying how scared you were. After like 15mins he stopped “here we are” you looked up and realized how close you were, you could feel his defined stomach..that feeling made you blush a bit and you quickly pulled away. You were a bit dizzy from the ride “you almost killed both of us” you said angrily trying to forget about how embarrassing the situation was “where’s the badass (y\n) or you’re being a coward now?” . You started walking with Draken, there were a lot people there when they saw both of you they started bowing. You walked behind Draken who was putting his hands in his pocket; the situation was so awkward you were stealing glances from all direction, holding your bag to your chest.”Ken-chin finally” said Mikey “you must be (y\n)” he added giving you his eye smile. You nodded and smiled a bit “c’mon lets show you the place and let you meet the other” he said excitedly guiding you. “oh Takemichi?” you muttered, finally recognizing someone, his body and face were full of wounds as usual “this man is really a punching bag” you thought to yourself. “so guys this is (y\n)..(y\n) this is Baji captain of first division and that’s Chifuyu the vice-captain…this handsome man over here is Mitsuya the 2nd division captain and this is the vice-captain Hakkai…the others are on a mission one of them is Pah-chin the 3rd division captain..you’ll meet them later” all of them approached you and started shaking your hand “Mikey told us how you saved Takemichi” said chifuyu “you’re so brave!!” added Baji. “They’re friendly not like Draken” you thought to yourself smiling to the boys in front of you then shifting your eyes to glare at Draken. “you must be good friends with Draken..” said Mitsuy. You and Draken looked at each other not sure how to react “trust me she’s the human version of headaches” said Draken “you little shit..no one forced you to come everyday to my house” then again you started bickering as usual. All of the boys were confused and looked at each other like what the hell is going on. Finally Mikey interrupted you “oh guys ehm well I hope you’ll be able to get along cuz you’ll spend more time together” “WHAT?” both of you yelled “yes*smile* Draken you’ll help her in training besides she’ll be with us” “Mikey no, put her in the 2nd divison, I’m sure Mitsuya will do better than me” “you have to work on your relationship as well” added Mikey. Both of you sighed in defeat there’s no way Mikey would change his mind and now you’re stuck together. Mikey wanted to test your fighting abilities again in order to make you stronger. Everyone was there all the captains and the vice-captains “hm what about you fight Ken-chin” said Mikey, not gonna lie you were terrified a bit, Draken is a strong guy and he easily pinned you to the wall several times but you couldn’t show it, you had to be confident especially in front of them, now you’re part of the gang and you have to prove it. You’ll do your best to try and defeat Draken at least throw a proper punch at his face. He walked in the center a cold look on his face…well you realized that it’s actually his natural expression. Your guards were up, your foot positioned to not lose balance “you think you can defeat me?” he said a cocky smile on his face “same question for you…Draken”. And fight, the combat began you successfully dodged his fists, this man didn’t hesitate he was so serious about it. All you did was to dodge his hits, you didn’t attack him, he was so fast, taller and bigger than you but you waited for the right moment. He grabbed your arm and twisted it behind your back while both of you were looking at each other; you frowned and used your knee to hit his stomach, “NICE” shouted Mikey and the others cheering on you. “You’re supposed to cheer on- urgh” said Draken only to receive a punch on his face, he was distracted and didn’t expect your attack.. his face was turned to the other side making him lose his balance, you seized the opportunity and jumped on him making him fall on the ground wrapping your legs around him trying to stop him from moving, in less than a minute he flipped you, your back hitting the hard ground making you growl in pain, and now he was on top of you, used on hand to pin yours on top of your head and the other softly wrapped around your neck, you struggled and kicked your legs everywhere but he was so heavy and slowly you felt your muscles become numb “you give up?”  “never” . The boys were impressed despite being pinned on the ground you did your best to fight him and to make him fall. “do you smell something?” said Baji “yeah..a lot of interesting things are about to happen between these two” added Mitsuya. For a moment you got lost in Draken’s eyes, remembering the feeling of his toned body. You shook your head trying to push those thought away “get off of me” you said headbutting him (when you hit someone’s face with your forehead) and quickly you stood up rushing to Mikey “you did well” said Chifuyu patting your head “you’re impressive, you proved yourself by fighting this big bear” said Baji pointing at Draken “tch” is the only thing you received from Drake.. was he mad because you made him fall? You shrugged and continued your chat with the boys without noticing him leave. Days passed and you grew closer to all of the boys especially Mitsuya, he was the one to keep you sane, your bickering with Draken became a daily routine and the others are now used to it, once you start arguing no one can stop you, not even Mikey. Mikey was hopeless but deep down he knows that you care for each other. Even if you don’t realize it, even if you fight everyday, the others can realize how protective Draken is, how he keeps his eyes on you when you’re paired up with someone else but he always deny it, instead he says that enjoys seeing you beaten up by someone else. You, you really thought Draken hates you, because he was forced to instruct and train you. At first you weren’t allowed to join them in fights they wanted to make sure you’re able to defend yourself without getting seriously injured. But after a lot of intense training that lasted for a month without forgetting the support you’ve received from all of them. Now you’re fully capable.  “(y\n) I have something for you” said Mikey holding a bag “what is it?” “as you know you’ll participate in the next mission that’s why you need a uniform right?” Mikey and Draken saw how you’re eyes lit up and how you held your hands together to your chest waiting for Mikey to show you the uniform. “Tada” you gasped when you saw it, it was similar to theirs but a bit girlish. “C’mon put it on ..We’ll wait you out there” you grabbed the uniform quickly changing into it. It hugged your body perfectly, you lifted your hair up in a ponytail and put on your fav boots and headed out to join the others. The moment you stepped out all the eyes fell on your figure. You smiled in satisfaction “wow” said Mitsuya “you look so gorgeous” he added taking your hand spinning you. All of them made comments on how beautiful and how the uniform suited you perfectly. But Draken kept his distance looking at you without making any comment; he didn’t even tease you as usual or insult you. You looked at him and your eyes met, you were about to say something but he turned his back and left. You felt your heart ache a bit, why would he do that? You didn’t do anything wrong to him to earn his hate. Your expressions changed and looked down. Everyone else noticed how upset you were but only a few knew that it was because of Draken. You excused yourself and followed Draken. “Draken” you yelled searching for him, he vanished. You got enough of his behavior and attitude towards you. You wanted to make everything clear and talk it out with him. You were busy searching…everywhere. “Oh look who’s here” but before you can turn around you got hit on the back of your head making you fall down unconscious.*Time skip* “hey hey wake up” said someone slapping your face. Your vision was a bit blurry becoming clear slowly. Your head was spinning. You tried to stand up but you couldn’t as your hands and legs were tied to a chair. “Remember me beautiful?” “You asshole” you said trying to get rid of your dizziness. “We will keep you here and tomorrow you’ll go with us to the big fight I’m sure your friends want to see you”. *Meanwhile* “do you think they’re alright?” “maybe they’re arguing again” “Draken can be an asshole sometimes”.. the boys were busy talking about you both when Draken arrived “did someone mention my name?” “ken-chin finally you’re here, you spent a long time out with (y\n)! did you make sure to walk her home?” “(y\n)?” he said clearly confused “b-but we weren’t together” everyone panicked, their eyes widened “s-she went after you when you left” “it was your fault in the first place” said Mitsuya eyes burning with anger, he grabbed Draken by his collar pushing him to the wall “you made her upset, whenever she tries to talk with you, you push her away” “WHAT THE FUCK MITSUYA, OUR RELATIONSHIP IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS” “she’s my best friend so it is MY BUSINESS” “best friend you say huh? Because it doesn’t seem like that…both of you look like lovers so stop hiding behind your ‘bestfriend’ thing” “you’re really an asshole Draken” both of them started fighting throwing punches and insults at each other’s faces, everyone struggled to pull them away from each other “STOP BOTH OF YOU” shouted Takemichi “how can you both be so careless about (y\n), do you really care about her?” said Mikey angrily “we don’t know anything about her, she may be caught by that bastard and you’re here fighting over you stupid feelings” exclaimed Baji, both of them looked down realizing their mistakes “instead of running away Draken, you could have talked to her and stop hiding your feelings” said Pah-chin  “what feelings” he said looking up, eyes wide and heart racing in his chest, does he really have feelings for you. Questions burned in his throat but he’s the one who have answer he just gotta look deep down…in his heart. “We don’t have time for that we have to go and look for her now”. Everyone rushed ready to get on their motorcycles when someone called Mikey. *On the phone* “Mikey I bet you’re worried as hell now” “you motherfucker where did you take her?” “calm down she’s safe..well for now at leas-“ Draken rushed to Mikey and snatched the phone “if you dare to lay a finger on her I’ll chop your hands off” “oh it’s you vice-president..your little girl is with us..she just needs some punishment for what she’s done to our fighters” “don’t you dare..I’ll end your life” “little girl was looking for you everywhere screaming your name…easy to catch, too distracted that we caught her easily” “I’ll find you and I’ll kill you” “no need to find me, we’ll be at the big fight tomorrow and she’ll come along” then he hung up. Draken’s hands were shaking with anger..his heart almost reaching his throat. “Ken-chin! What did he say?” he was just looking down, thinking about you about the possibility of you getting hurt and it was because of him..Because he was a coward running away from you..running away from his feelings. At that moment he realized how much you’re important to him and how he’s willing to do whatever it takes to keep you safe..was it love?..he realized how his heart skips a bit whenever he sees your face..how he feels like punching something when he sees you with Mitsuya. Was it a coincidence? “no” he said to himself..it was love. “Draken for god’s sake focus” he snapped out of his thoughts, veins popping in his face and neck “he said that he’ll bring her tomorrow to our big fight” Mitsuya approached Draken and said putting his hand on his shoulder “you’re the only one who knows very very well that (y\n) is so strong, she doesn’t give up easily no matter what..stay strong for her” “if something happens to her I’ll never forgive myself”..that’s the first time everyone get to see Draken sad like that..he’s usually strong, never showing his weak side to the point that everyone doubts if he actually has a weakness “we can’t leave her there” said Chifuyu out of the blue “we can’t wait till the morning” “fuck of course we can’t” all the boys gathered setting a plan then all of them rushed to their motorcycles, Mikey gave Draken a comforting smile, squeezing his hand softly “everything will be okay..stay strong ..for her..she needs you the most”. *Meanwhile* “That vice-president was extremely worried about you..haha love birds” “should we touch what’s his this time?” “l-love?...don’t you dare touch me I’LL KILL YOU” you yelled your lungs out. That man approached you slowly his hand grabbing your neck and his nose nuzzled in your ear whispering “shh stay still  beautiful we still have a long night ahead” “you fucker you’ll pay for this” he lips now were on your neck sucking on your soft skin…tears streamed down your cheeks “ stop yelling, instead let me hear you moan”. That guy wasn’t planning to do something serious to you he just wanted to give you a hickey for Draken to see, he wanted nothing than to make him suffer. Draken was able to take him down in almost every fight and now he can take his revenge by marking his girl. His lips then moved to your face but you were able to hit him with your forehead..he put his hand on his nose and slapped you. It was the moment Toman arrived..the fight reserved for tomorrow started earlier than it was expected “oh shit” said that guy  “how did they find us…come here we need to hide you” you started screaming and bit his hand when he tried to cover your mouth. “leave her alone” said Draken entering the room “ I said leave . her . alone “ gritting his teeth, the guy pushed you making you fall and run towards Draken thinking he stands a chance against him. Draken punched the guy but unexpectedly two others appeared from behind and grabbed Draken’s hands “DRAKEN BE CAREFUL” you yelled “let go of him” “(y\n) are you insane, we came here to save you just go, leave this place” “no Draken please..” you said failing to hold you tears, your nose was bleeding. Draken was unable to move his hand in their strong grip  and the other guy held a stick ready to him but you ran and threw yourself in front of Draken receiving the hit. You fell in Draken’s chest, your forehead bleeding you looked up at him and smiled your eyes slowly closing. The Toman joined you there and beat the shit out of the others. “(y\n) wake up please..please” said Draken brushing his shaking fingers against your cheeks a tear fell on his face “let’s take her to the hospital” said Mitsuya..all of them were worried about you. “what’s that is that a-“ Draken’s eyes widened when he saw the hickey, he put you down gently and went to that guy, he was already on the ground, he passed out from all the punches “you dare to touch her and put your filthy lips on her…I swear I’ll smash your face” everyone pulled him away before he could kill him, he probably succeeded in breaking his nose. “guys (y\n)! she’s moving” yelled Chifuyu to be joined by the others “slowly..help her sit” “ahh m-my head” you said holding your head “i-it h-hurts” their eyes softened at your sight. They brought you water and Mikey gave you something sweet to eat so you can gain your energy, luckily he moves around with snacks in his pocket. Baji wiped your blood and tied your hair so you can breathe comfortably. Now you’re fully awake munching on the dorayaki, sitting on the ground “do you feel better?” you hummed in response “did he do something to you, did he touch you?”asked Draken, you shook your head “he tried to kiss my lips but it hit him” his fists are now clenching and kicked the chair making you flinch “damn Draken calm down, she’s safe now” everyone excused themselves to give you privacy so you and Draken can talk. There you were, looking at each other awkwardly “You joining our gang was the biggest mistake that Mikey has ever done” “really Draken? After all of this you’re insisting on insulting me huh? You didn’t get enough of hurting my feelings don’t you?” now your eyes watering, tears threatening to fall again but you aggressively blinked them away. “look at you beaten up and you’re not expecting me to worry about you? That fucker tried to kiss you or maybe even fuck you” “but he didn’t and I’m safe now” “why did you throw yourself like that, why did you receive the hit?” “is this how you thank someone for helping you..tch” “I’m supposed to keep you safe it’s not your job to help me” “and you’re not my bodyguard Draken I’m part of Toman now I believe I fought till the end-“ “you can’t get hurt” “why? Does it matter to you? You hurt my feelings on a daily basis, did you consider that? Ofc not” “I WAS SO FUCKING WORRIED” “WHY DRAKEN WHY WOULD YOU BE WORRIED ABOUT SOMEONE YOU HATE?” “I FUCKING LOVE YOU (y\n)” both of you stopped in tracks, you looked at him in shock, did he just confess his feelings? You thought he hated you “w-what ? D-draken ?” he looked away “yes i-I do” “you idiot all this time I thought you hated me” you said grabbing his collar and gently punching his chest “I felt hopeless and now you didn’t even confess properly…aggressive as always tch” “you’re unbelievable I told you that I love you what I am supposed to do get on one knee?” “save that to the proposal.. you’re really a dumb  who acts smart” “p-proposal?” “hey calm down I’m just kidding, gosh “ “no no I promise I’ll propose to you one day” you smiled at his sudden softness “oh you’re being soft now” you teased “you’re really getting on my nerves now…just shut up” “make me” you said smirking…man that drove him crazy he approached you, held your little face in his big hand and planted a kiss on your lips, you growled a bit and then pulled away “what you didn’t like the ki-“ “ no no it’s just I have a cut on my lip so kissing hurts a bit” you said blushing “oh okay I’m sorry” “I didn’t say you can’t kiss me tho” you ended your sentence by pulling him to you, kissing his lips hungrily, you wrapped your arms around his neck, he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his torso his arms holding your hips, his lips moved to your neck kissing each part of it and sucking at your skin “you . belong . to . me”, you pulled away trying to catch your breath, your head fell on his shoulder, you hugged him tight and whispered a soft ” I love you too Draken”. He then put you on your feet and walked you to his motorcycle, everyone was waiting for you “guys we heard everything” joked Baji “yeah guys you were really really loud” everyone laughed and you were a blushing mess “ I can’t believe it..that’s what you call a (y\n) effect, Draken you’re really blushing”. After that you went back to Mikey’s house , you told your family that you’ll spend the night with Emma. *At Mikey’s house* “ take off your shirt” said Draken holding the aid kit “why is it bothering you that much?” you teased “just take it off right now” “no why would I do it…em I’m not ready yet” “huh? Isn’t obvious? I have to check your wounds” “oh is that so” you gasped dramatically. “Eventually I’ll see you naked so no need to be shy now”. You slowly took off your shirt but you still have your sports top on. He gently massaged your shoulder and your back and treated each wound carefully, he left soft kisses on the back of your neck. “c’mon lay on bed now, take those pills they’re helpful for your headache” he kissed your temple and held his jacket ready to leave but you stopped him  “can you stay here for tonight?” “really?” “yeah ask Mikey if it’s okay to stay over” “..that’s my second house so I don’t need his permission..move to the side a bit” you did as he said then he laid next to you, he pulled the covers up and put his arms on your waist spooning you. Your bodies pressed to each other. Feeling each part of you. He kissed your head and whispered a “sleep tight my little fighter”. Both of fell asleep quickly, after an exhausting evening. Sleeping soundly in each other’s embrace. “shh they’re sleeping” “they’re so cute together” said the boys and Emma as they entered the room, they didn’t expect to see Draken cuddling next to you but it was a cute view the big strong bear being soft and cuddly for the first time. Mitsuya was so happy for both of you, he really considered you as his best friend more like a sister. All of them were extremely happy, finally Draken found his soulmate. All of them are ready to fight for both of you and to protect you and your relationship no matter what. “ah I’m jealous now Draken will be so protective over her, we won’t be able to spend much time with her” Said Takemichi pouting “Nah guys don’t worry (y\n) will always remain Toman’s little fighter.” Said Mikey proudly. All of them spent the night there they even fell asleep in the same room, so when you wake up in the morning don’t freak out when you see all of them sleeping  peacefully.

[missxfaithc]

Levitating - Head Engineer Mark x Captain Fanfic

“Hatred, which could destroy so much, never failed to destroy the man who hated, and this was an immutable law.”

—James Baldwin

Part Seventeen: (TW for some graphic-ish violence)

Scene: Invincible II, hallway

[MARK fades in and out of consciousness. The pain he felt before collapsing seems much duller now. Distantly, he’s aware that a small puddle of blood must be forming underneath him. Somehow, he knows—MARK realizes that this is how he’s going to die.]

ACTOR MARK: [standing in front of MARK’s prone body] Ah, there you are. I thought I might never find you.

MARK: [garbled, slurring words] Fuck… you… asshole.

ACTOR MARK: [looking down at MARK with mild distaste] Hm, I see you’re in no mood for pleasantries—which is just as well. See, I was worried for a moment that you might actually get away. But now I see that you’re well on your way to dying without my assistance.

MARK: You won’t… get away… with this.

ACTOR MARK: Really? Cause I’m fairly certain that I already have. Now it’s just a matter of time.

MARK: Right… you just have to wait for me to die.

ACTOR MARK: Something like that, yes.

[MARK forces his eyes open and looks up long enough to see ACTOR MARK. The man looks as smug as ever, still wearing that stupid red robe. MARK makes the mistake of trying to move and a huge burst of pain flares up again. He blindly reaches down and immediately feels a pool of sticky and slightly warm liquid—his drying blood. If he wasn’t already on death’s doorstep, it might’ve made him feel a bit queasy.]

ACTOR MARK: [sighing, annoyed] Ugh, this is taking too long. Must I really do everything myself?

[ACTOR MARK roughly rolls MARK over so that he’s lying on his back. MARK blinks dazedly at the man and doesn’t understand what’s going on, at least until ACTOR MARK purposefully shoves a shoed-heel into MARK’s stab wound. MARK screams in pain, suddenly way more alert. He tries to shove the other man off of him, but perhaps due to the blood loss he’s too weak.]

ACTOR MARK: Why won’t you just die already?

[ACTOR MARK pushes his foot even more firmly into MARK’s wound. The pain is unimaginable and again MARK screams at the top of his lungs in absolute anguish. He struggles against ACTOR MARK the best that he can, but it just isn’t enough.]

ACTOR MARK: [seething] You mean nothing—you never have. You’re worthless. A copy of the real thing. You should just be grateful that I let you live this long.

[MARK tries to respond, but the pain makes it difficult for him to think up a good comeback. He also begins to wonder why he isn’t dead yet, though. He certainly feels like he’s dying. Why doesn’t he just… die? Why isn’t this torture over with yet, he wonders just as ACTOR MARK lifts up his foot and slams it down seemingly as hard as he can on MARK’s abdomen.]

ACTOR MARK: That’s for trying to steal the Captain away from me.

MARK: [slurred] Their name is… Y/N…

ACTOR MARK: Ugh, whatever. They’ve never played by my rules, either. Y’know what? Maybe you two were good together. You both just seem to love fucking up my plans, don’t you?

MARK: Where… are they…? Where’s… Y/N?

ACTOR MARK: I already told you, idiot, they’re gone! Why is that so hard for you to understand?!

MARK: They wouldn’t just… leave…

ACTOR MARK: Oh yeah? What makes you so sure about that?

MARK: I trust the Captain… I trust Y/N. They’ll be back… they wouldn’t just… leave me here.

ACTOR MARK: [scoffing] You’re delusional.

MARK: [with a smile, eyes trying to stay focused on ACTOR MARK] Maybe I am. But I have to… to trust them.

ACTOR MARK: [angrily] I don’t get it. Why are you so loyal to them? You’re supposed to be like me. You’re not supposed to be some—some sappy crybaby.

MARK: [with a chuckle that turns into a vicious coughing fit] You’re jealous of me. I don’t know how… I didn’t see that… sooner. You’re jealous because I did… what you couldn’t.

ACTOR MARK: Shut up. I’m tired of listening to you.

[ACTOR MARK removes his foot from MARK’s wound again and apparently decides that the next best course of action is to kick in his ribs. The man must deal a pretty strong blow, because MARK swears he hears something crack.]

MARK: [wheezing, now struggling for air] Killing me won’t change… how the Captain… feels. If anything, it’ll just make them… hate you even more.

ACTOR MARK: I said to shut up!

[ACTOR MARK deals a few more kicks to MARK’s ribcage. Somehow, MARK still isn’t dead.]

MARK: [attempting a smirk] Looks like I’m… pretty hard to kill… after all.

[As if enraged even further by the other man’s statement, ACTOR MARK leans in close and then punches MARK square in the face. One punch, two punches, three punches, four punches—and crack, MARK’s nose is most definitely broken.]

MARK: [slurring heavily] I can barely even… feel the pain anymore.

[ACTOR MARK reels back to deliver another harsh blow, but just then someone shouts from farther down the hallway.]

CAPTAIN: [sprinting toward the two MARKs, two other people are following closely behind them] Actor, stop.

[The CAPTAIN’s voice is firm, but not a shout. It’s clearly an order. ACTOR MARK pauses mid-punch, looking back in confusion at the CAPTAIN.]

ACTOR MARK: [incredulous] You’re not supposed to be here yet.

CAPTAIN: [stoically, face betraying no emotion] Yeah, well, tough shit, I guess. You should already know by now that I’m stubborn.

ACTOR MARK: How did you even get here? I watched you jump into a wormhole. A wormhole! You were never supposed to come back to this ship.

CAPTAIN: Well, it turns out that Mark and I aren’t the only people who have been trying to stop you, Actor.

[As if on cue, two individuals emerge on either side of the CAPTAIN—Wilford Warfstache on one side and Darkiplier on the other. They look equally unamused at ACTOR MARK’s antics.]

DARK: I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long, long time.

WILFORD: Actor, c’mon. Aren’t you tired of playing these games? It’s time to move on. Let the past go; it doesn’t matter anymore. You can’t get back what was never yours to begin with.

ACTOR MARK: [scoffing] Hah! That’s rich, coming from you. At least I didn’t steal someone’s wife!

WILFORD: [calmly] I never stole anything from you, Actor. Celine went with me willingly. You have to let this go—this, this hate has been consuming you for far too long, my old friend.

ACTOR MARK: Friend?! I am not your friend! You betrayed me—

[As the arguing goes on and ACTOR MARK moves to stand in front of Wilford, the CAPTAIN seizes the opportunity to check on MARK. He does not look good.]

CAPTAIN: [gently shaking MARK’s shoulder to get his attention] Mark? Mark, can you hear me?

MARK: [slowly blinking open his eyes, looking around, seemingly confused] Captain? What’s going on? How are you here?

CAPTAIN: [hurriedly] It’s a long story and I don’t have the time to explain it now. We need to get you out of here before Actor realizes that Wil and Dark are just a distraction.

MARK: I don’t think… I can move…

CAPTAIN: [gulping down a wave of fear, trying to put on a brave face for MARK] Sure you can. You’re legs aren’t broken, right?

MARK: No… but I’ve lost a lot of blood already and everything hurts. It hurts to breathe, Captain.

CAPTAIN: [attempting to haul MARK up to his feet] You’ll be all right. We just gotta get down to the med-bay.

Mark: I appreciate the thought, Captain, but I really don’t think I can… make it there.

CAPTAIN: What?! No, that’s nonsense. I didn’t come all the way back here just to leave you now. C’mon, you can do it. Just lean against me, okay? You just gotta walk. That’s all. It’s easy—I promise.

MARK: [giving the CAPTAIN a meaningful look, speaking softly] It’s okay, Captain. I knew you’d come back.

CAPTAIN: Yes—which is exactly why we should be leaving now. I didn’t come back just to watch you die.

MARK: [leaning heavily against the CAPTAIN, very clearly unable to walk by himself] I don’t think… that’s a decision… you get… to make… Captain…

[The CAPTAIN tries their best to get MARK to the med-bay. It’s a rather difficult task, considering how MARK’s currently as good as dead weight. The CAPTAIN, though outwardly appearing quite calm, is internally freaking the fuck out. Seeing MARK in such a state is concerning on multiple levels. If it weren’t for the pure adrenaline forcing the CAPTAIN on in their current mission of Try To Keep Mark Alive, they’d probably break down and sob.]

CAPTAIN: [quietly, to themselves] You’re my best friend, Mark. I can’t lose you like this.

[Eventually, somehow, the CAPTAIN and MARK make it to the ship’s med-bay. MARK looks dangerously close to passing out, what with his extremely paled complexion and the sheen of sweat on his brow. His nose looks broken and bloody; there appears to be some sort of injury to his lower abdomen—the CAPTAIN realizes that this must be the source of the blood loss.]

CAPTAIN: [gently laying MARK down on a cot] Okay, okay. We’re here. I’ll be okay now. Just… try to relax, okay? I’m gonna administer some meds to help you feel better.

MARK: [opening eyes, looking around warily until his gaze settles on the CAPTAIN] I don’t wanna… go to sleep… What if I… don’t wake… up?

CAPTAIN: [forcing a smile, taking one of MARK’s hands in their own and giving it a gentle squeeze] You will. I promise. You just need to rest for now.

MARK: [frowning slightly, a weak shake of the head in protest] What about… you? Are you gonna… leave again?

CAPTAIN: No, no. I’ll be right here, Mark. I won’t leave.

MARK: [still unsure] Promise?

CAPTAIN: [smile breaking, with tears forming in their eyes] Yeah. Yeah, of course. I won’t leave.

MARK: All right… As long as you stay… right there…

[The CAPTAIN gives MARK a hefty dose of some pain meds and waits until they’re certain he’s asleep before moving to a nearby cupboard to find the other medical supplies they need.

It doesn’t take long for the CAPTAIN to realize that MARK’s going to need more than a few stitches for his stab wound. He’s also going to need several blood bags and his ribs should probably get X-rayed, based on the nasty-looking bruising already forming on his chest. And his nose… that’s going to need to be reset.

The CAPTAIN works diligently, making sure to hook MARK up to the proper machinery to monitor his heart rate and other vital signs. With any luck, he should be in stable condition within the next several hours.

If Actor doesn’t get in the way again somehow, that is.]

For previous parts of this story please check out the pinned post on my profile!

https://missxfaithc.tumblr.com/post/683108987976155136/levitating-head-engineer-mark-x-captain-fanfic

[diedbutterflies69]

Leaving Pluto -

Lee Know smut imagine.

Contains: soft dom!lee know, praise mixed with teasing, slight choking. Arguing slightly. Fingering, oral $ex

Minors don't interact.

Working past the work hours cause he didn't have you waiting for him to come home.

It was another exhausting night for Minho. Being away from you was killing him slowly. A small fight that happened four days ago was the reason for you to not contact him. You wanted to find a new workplace, cause you were too tired of your co workers talking behind your back how cheap of a woman you were just because you were dating a male with slight higher position than you. According to Minho you should have ignored thier words or come with most savage comeback possible or simply talk sweetly and be friends with them. But you being you picked up the option which he never expected. Your resignation letter.

For Minho you were a deadly drug, Without you he can't live. He was addicted to feeling of being loved.

Being bad with words he never really poured out his heart to you. He fell for you when he was at his peak of self-hatred, he still can't understand how you were able to see behind the proud man who earned his position all by himself was a hiding his depressed emo kid who just wished to feel something.

Minho can't lose you. He exactly knew where you were. But he didn't have the guts to face you, he was scared because his words were no less than knifes. He was tired of himself being always a jerk to you and you forgiving him everytime because

Minho was your everything too.

You both weren't in a toxic relationship just were different.

He believed in facing problem and you believed in running away from it .

Shutting down the laptop he picked his coat and stuff. Minho made his mind, he can't just sit ideal and expect you to come back to him . Your apartment wasn't miles away from him but here he was still hesitating to start the car and and Stay with you.

Finally gathering all his shattered courage and starting the engine Minho finally headed to his world.

Standing infront of your apartment and again trying to find his lost courage Minho finally rung the door bell and it didn't even took 10 secs before the door opened.

"What you want", you Asked him. Your voice colder than ice. You expected Minho to come begging at your door anyways as you understand what kind of devil was residing in his mind, but now you were tired , tired of how Minho only knew how to regret over the mess he created himself. Looking in his eyes, your whole tough demonor almost shaken. You hated to see Minho in that state.

"umm, can I come in, please Y/N?"

He gave you a small smile and your heart melted, no one knows how much you adored that man he always just pretend to have a tough front, and right now it was crumbling again.

Sighing heavily you let him in.

"come in" you said.

"Y/N, Listen to me please, I overreacted it was my fault I -I apologize I was hitted hard by fact that I would be unable to see you everyday in that suffocating place, I--I am really sorry and please I wasn't trying to control you, I was being selfish I--I-I--"

" will you stop now?" You asked him cutting him off, whatever anger you had disappeared the moment he expressed his heart truly but you just wanted to know one thing.

"Do you love me Minho?", You asked him you didn't understand what exact feelings he had for you, was it love, or desire to be love, or just a simple fuck. Minho's face full of confusion, you caught him off-guard. But he answered confidently no ounce of hesitation in his voice.

"I love you, I love you so much" His voice so sincere like he was practicing his wedding vows.

"Then fucking act like a normal guy in love for atleast 1 second, who the hell takes almost whole week to apologize?? Is your ego more powerful than your love, dating in office place was so damn hard for me those annoying rats comments were giving me headache and I live with you, do you forgot that??? Fucking stupid crazy ?"

You ranted , felt like the weight from your shoulders finally lifted you just wanted his genuine emotions, living peacefully without arguing like cats and dogs.

Minho was hanging his head low in guilt knowing how much damaged he has caused , that you started to doubt his love.

"I love you so much sorry please forgive me , I will try to get better", Minho said he always meant what he said. looking straight into eyes he come closer to you.

"You should have come sooner, I missed your stupid ass", you said speaking from your heart. The 5 days argument finally fucking itself.

Minho smiled at you and said," I was too afraid of lover, you know she is a whole different person when angry." Pouting like a kid, he was too irresistible for you and you were deprived from his touch,his kisses and whole him.

"You talk to much", You said and locked your lips with Minho for a desperate deep kiss, which he happily reciprocated back with equal desperation and love.

" you are the hottest girl I have ever seen" he said and pecked your lips lifting you up in his arms and going straight to your bedroom. Both of you looking at each other with so much respect love and affection. Reaching your bedroom Minho slowly put you down smiling at you and whispering "let me show you how much love I have for you", whimpering desperately at his words that sended shivers down your spine no matter how many times he had fucked you , you can't get used to his dominant persona.

Minho's hand wondering inside your hoodie and cupping your breasts as you didn't wore any bra his fingers softly pinching your buds not in a rough way. Tonight he decided to go as gentle as possible.

"Stop teasing, Minho", you moaned desperately , tugging on Minho's shirt and attempting to free his god sculpted body. One thing Minho loved the most about you , you not being shy and addressing whatsoever you felt. Minho smiled playfully at you and saying out " patience darling, I am gonna make you feel good" This man is gonna be death of me you thought .

Minho removed your hoodie and freed your upper body, cold air immediately making your buds hard again, his hand resting on your waist and one to support himself at top of you , he started kissing your neck And leaving a very small hickey as you didn't liked him marking you at visible places, you were too lazy to conceal it. Going down and cupping your right breast so tenderly your breath getting heavier at Minho's slow yet sensual ministrations, he was different from usual, definitely more soft.

But him being slow was torture to your core.

"Please", you whimpered bucking up your hips to Minho's body in response he grabbed your thighs his hands, caressing your inner thighs dangerously close to your heat, you were already wet from all the foreplay , your pussy begging to get destroyed by your lover.

Minho removed your shorts , now your slight wet panties being the only cloth on your body on the other hand Minho being Fully dressed his black shit wrinkled from your tight grip which he unbuttoned hastily after freeing your body from those useless panties throwing somewhere in room.

"because of who your pussy is soo wet , love?" He said looking straight in your eyes his fingers resting at your entrance, waiting for your answer before doing anything else. A fucking teaser.

"Because of you Min, do something please", your voice coming out much softer and desperate than you thought.

Finally giving you a big smile, Minho entered his fingers in your mouth covered in your saliva then without warning he shoved his two fingers in your hole and moving them at a extremely slow pace his touch was so powerful today even if it was different he never was a slow going man but you weren't complaining.

Minho went down to your thigh level, eyes looking straight at your pussy , without removing his fingers , he attacked your pussy with his mouth, sucking the entrance and tongue going straight inside you, fingers and the soft muscle making it difficult for you to not moan and just keep screaming his name till your lungs burn.

His nose brushing to your your clit , and fingers finally picking up pace , you can literally feel Minho's smirk whenever you called his name.

"I. ... I am close", you said followed by a high pitched moan, hearing you Minho's own cock almost bursting , he added a third finger and started sucking you more aggressively.

"I am cumin..." You felt your body on cloud nine, your high washing over you, juices flowing from you and Minho not letting them fall, till the last drop he kept eating you out and fingering, you almost crying from overstimulation.

"How was it babe? Felt good?", Minho asked you even knowing the answer that he literally made you see the stars alone with his fingers and tongue, detaching himself from your lower body and again looking at you , You got up ready to give him something in return, he loved your mouth and loved how you gagged whenever his tip touched back of your throat, your hands reached his belt but he stopped you .

"This, ain't about me babe", Minho said, resulting in you looking at him in pure frustration, giving you a sly smile as he lied you back down on bed he continued. " I mean suck me some other day, now I just wanna come inside your small pussy"

Minho have a great way of making you lose your mind completely.

He unbuckled his belt and removing his belt so slowly like he was giving you a whole strip show. After finally freeing his member from all the restrictions Minho's mouth again finding your lips as he slowly entered inside you .

"Fuck, why you always feel so good", Minho grunted heavily and started moving at a slow pace, his hand cupping your breasts and lips hungrily kissing you."you are so fucking beautiful love",He said , his voice containing pure sincerity and sensuality. The way he was rolling his hips was driving you insane, even the kiss was so sensual, his tongue inside exploring your mouth . Minho's body so close to you ,your slight bloated stomach occassionally coming in contact with his sculpted abs, he always made you feel beautiful , sexy even when days he was rough his degradation never made you felt insecure and today he was being so gentle, so soft and his praises making your throbbing heart melt. You love Minho and Minho loves you.

"Minho, please you.. you feel so damn.. good", you said in between your deep breaths and screams. Minho's lips now giving you hickeys and you didn't really wanted to stop him, his mouth felt so damn good. His pace being the same slow torture to you.

"I feel good too babe, inside you", Minho said his grunts getting more louder signalling he was close too. His hand now intervining with yours in a tight grip as if he you were his last straw to sanity.

"can I come, please?", You asked as of an habit , Minho was a hella kinky man and he had taught you so many things inside bedroom and asking for his permission before Cumming was one. He nodded at your request, something which happened once in a blue moon you were glad as wasn't edging you. His thrusts getting faster as he chased down his own high.

Leaving many screams and moans, you cummed around his cock feeling like being top of the world. " You are mine", he said before kissing your forehead and those intervened hand before empting himself inside you.

"I am yours, always yours", you replied to Minho, his forehead resting against yours both giving each other a faint and tired smile.

He scorched beside you and engulfed you in a tight hug , caressing your sweaty forehead and removing the hair that were sticking to it because of the passionate activities you both just did.

Comfortable Silence spreading inside your room. Before Minho finally spoke again.

"I am sorry, you gonna come back to our house right?" Minho apologizing again and being oblivion to the fact that you had even forget the argument. You also loved the way he referred his house to 'ours'. Those small things which he do without any intentions meant so much to you.

"Stop saying sorry It wasn't only yours alone fault too, I too overeacted, sorry" you said to him and snuggling inside his neck . He quickly reacted to the last word. Minho hated the way you thought it was your fault.

"No babe, I am sorry, don't apologize", Minho again saying sorry, Guess it was endless loop of taking the blame. You ignored his words having no energy to argue .

"well, so are we gonna have a bath, We need to go back to our home in morning", you said Minho and him being too aware of hidden meaning of your words.

"Okay babe , let's do 69 there"

Thanks for reading .

Beautiful reader.

[tomorrowxtogether]

YEONJUN: “I never want to forget that I can’t take anything for granted”

TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION comeback interview

2023.02.06

Everything, everywhere is full of passion. It’s cheerful. Friendly. This is YEONJUN’s world.

You brought a book of poetry for the gift exchange you held with the other members for your holiday Weverse Live.

YEONJUN: I’m not a heavy reader but I got inspired after seeing some nice quotes and poems on social media. And I thought it would be nice to show them to those who are having a hard time around me. I think I’m good at using wordplay in my lyrics but not so much at incorporating my emotions, so I thought poetry books might help.

The lyrics you wrote for the track “Farewell, Neverland” off the latest album are sentimental.

YEONJUN: And yet it wasn’t particularly difficult. I always watch a lot of movies and have a good imagination. My MBTI has N, after all. (laughs) I’ve had a rich imagination ever since I was young so I used to imagine myself as a movie character and act like one. I wrote the lyrics to “Farewell, Neverland” by picturing myself as one of the boys who wants to play with Peter Pan. They don’t want to grow up but they have no choice but to leave Neverland if they’re going to keep developing and moving forward. I wrote it from the perspective of resisting Peter Pan’s temptation.

Conversely, the lead single “Sugar Rush Ride” and the song “Devil by the Window” explore what temptation and giving into it looks like. I’d say you tried recording with some new vocal styles that you never used before.

YEONJUN: You know, if you’re tempting someone you don’t just say, (dryly) “Come here.” You have to say it in a sly and sexy voice. (laughs) So I went over the top for some parts, abandoning my normal self and getting into the role of the devil, then for other parts I really exaggerated my vocals and tried to make the expressions as strong as possible.

What was it like writing lyrics for “Happy Fools” (feat. Coi Leray)? I was curious to see if there would be a moment you give into temptation, seeing as you’re usually so hardworking.YEONJUN: I really sympathize with the idea of wanting to have fun, so I kept that in mind while writing the lyrics. But, to be honest, even when I’ve had a hard time, the worst it ever gets is I can’t concentrate quite as well or I practice a little less. I never once completely gave up on anything. So you’re saying you’ve always done everything you have to. (laughs) Don’t you ever feel like blowing everything off, even just occasionally?YEONJUN: Even if I thought about it, I don’t think I could actually go through with it. It’s already such an inborn habit and just the way I work. What if you magically had one day where you’re allowed to live life however you want—a day where you won’t get tired for tomorrow no matter what you do and it won’t have any effect on all the effort you’ve put in so far?YEONJUN: (laughs) Could I have that? (After thinking it over) I’d probably just do something fun, I guess? Hang out with friends, go somewhere cool to listen to some music. But that’s not something I absolutely crave anyway. Why’s that?YEONJUN: I’m so ambitious and eager that it outweighs any inconveniences. This job is my pride and joy. I’m pretty easygoing but I also have a lot of dignity. (laughs) I want to keep feeling proud when it comes to my work. It’s interesting to see your photos in that sense. You usually aim for perfection, even under pressure, but you look so natural when you have your picture taken—like you don’t even notice anyone’s looking.YEONJUN: I always enjoy photoshoots. Today’s shoot for Weverse Magazine was no exception. I feel enough pressure on a day-to-day basis so I try to have some confidence when I’m doing a shoot. And anyway, it’s the real deal. It’s like how actors really try to become another person rather than just read lines from a script. It’s the same with me: When I’m doing a shoot or on stage, I’m not just making facial expressions and striking attractive poses—I’m usually trying to become the kind of person who fits in with the given mood.

That helped make the Daydream version of the concept photos for the new album memorable. Whereas showing off your bare chest and back could’ve been burdensome, you make it look like a breeze, and you stuck out your tongue in a unique way.YEONJUN: I was okay with showing some skin. I think everything from the background to the outfits, hair and makeup were perfectly orchestrated to set the mood. I think they really helped sell the particular idea of dreaminess for the Daydream version. But I also worried that taking off my top would come across as leaning too hard into sex appeal. As I understood it, it was never meant to be like that. It should be really clear from how I’m sticking out my tongue, but it’s meant to be mischievous. Mysterious but mischievous. So I was trying to convey a mix of feelings. You worked yourself very naturally into the atmosphere of your concerts during last year’s ACT: LOVESICK world tour and at Lollapalooza. You really couldn’t hide your excitement over the festival atmosphere at Lollapalooza.YEONJUN: You’re right. It was a valuable time to reflect on why I do this line of work. I got started in this because of how much I love the stage. Is there an area you want to explore more of? In an earlier interview in Weverse Magazine, you said you wanted to try writing more intense lyrics, and you said in a vlog you recorded while in the US that you used all your energy on the Lollapalooza stage and even said, “This is what a performance is.”YEONJUN: We can’t do everything we want in the course of our everyday lives. There’s so many restrictions. But when it comes to the stage, I can do anything I want. So I think I want to do whatever I want to the fullest no matter what people say. That’s true for music, performing and photoshoots, too. So you must’ve been really energized while interacting with MOA from so many different countries.YEONJUN: It meant a lot because I’m the kind of person who wants to experience everything. I was especially amazed how the mood and energy differed between cities. I was impressed how calm and extremely focused on the concert itself they were in Japan, and then Southeast Asia they sang along really passionately to the songs and were jumping up and down. In the US they sang and danced in front of us however they wanted without feeling self-conscious. After Lollapalooza, I really thought I just want to be a massive rock star. (laughs) So I tried writing songs that everyone could dance to and have fun and just enjoy themselves to.

You continuously contribute to the music and lyrics of the songs on your albums. Can we expect to hear some songs that are about your personal stories?YEONJUN: I still want to work on it a bit more before I reveal anything to MOA. I’m the type of person that cannot show if I’m not confident or if I’m not fully ready. (laughs) You’re quite the perfectionist. (laughs) Because of the nature of your job, though, it’s always the case that you have to have something to show by a specified time. How do you deal with that? I’m thinking especially about how you have to play many different roles, like when you performed “Lonely Boy (The tattoo on my ring finger)” at 2022 MAMA last year and the dance covers you did at 2022 SBS Gayo Daejeon.YEONJUN: In my personal opinion, none of those performances were perfect. I just tried to put on performances that were as close to perfection as possible. I just practiced as much as I could until time was up. I didn’t want to feel anxious right before I got up on stage and worry about whether I could do a good enough job. In the end, I tried my best and did it all without any mistakes. (laughs) I’m surprised someone with such a strong stage presence is so hard on himself. You garner a lot of attention, too: You earned the nickname 4th Gen It Boy and now have over 12 million followers on Instagram.YEONJUN: I do love myself and have high self-esteem, but apart from that, I’ve never felt fully satisfied with myself. I’m always finding something I could be doing better. Aside from the title you mentioned, I trained for this job long enough that I always feel like I need to be doing better.

That makes me think of the lyrics to “Tinnitus (Wanna be a rock),” which you helped write. Do you ever feel like you’re “just a rock” after spending so much time thinking and putting in the effort?YEONJUN: I’m sure every artist has that feeling at some point. As an artist, I’m always following a big dream when I work, but sometimes when I see myself I feel like I’m not good enough and I feel useless—like I’m nothing. That’s what I was thinking about when I wrote those lyrics. So you’re always aiming higher.YEONJUN: I want to be a role model and to be able to have a good influence on people. My friend told me a really good story yesterday. Apparently, a friend of a friend is my fan. When that MOA saw I had written “study hard” when I signed their CD, that was enough to get past being bullied, study hard and make it into the university program this friend wanted. I just wrote that short message. When I heard that, I thought, I’m at a place now where I can change a person’s life. What about this job could be more rewarding than that? You don’t hold any prejudices and you respect everyone for who they are. For example, you wore a skirt and made a post saying boys can wear skirts too, and when you first saw iced tea with a shot of espresso and confirmed that that person ordered it that way on purpose, you responded, “Okay then, no problem.”YEONJUN: I try not to hold prejudices. I fell into some preconceived notions in the past, but the world keeps changing and there’s still a lot more that needs to change. So I took a careful look at myself, didn’t really like what I saw and thought I better not let myself get stuck in those mindsets. Are you always fully conscious of what’s happening around you? I recall on Weverse Live when HUENINGKAI was feeling camera-shy because of his messy hair but MOA really wanted to see him and you carefully smoothed over that situation.YEONJUN: I try but I don’t know if I’m doing a very good job. (laughs) I try to organize my thoughts by priority at least. I start by talking about what needs to be taken care of immediately and wait a little to bring up other things when there’s an opportunity. I also take each of the members’ styles into consideration. They’re all very different. (laughs) I felt a lot of pressure last year to get us more in sync and practicing more when we had to get a lot of performances ready in a short time because I tend to be ambitious about wanting to do a good job. But it takes some time for everyone to get on the same page and that’s just the way it is. So I talked about the most pressing issues first and waited to talk about the other parts till the next time and we got in sync that way.

I imagine spending so much time together during the world tour must have made it a major turning point for the group, too.

YEONJUN: We definitely had more of a chance to talk. Things have always been good between us, but we got even better at being open with each other than before. I think it can actually be harder to be open with someone the more time you spend together and the closer you are. I tried to be more open, too, and we all tried really hard on the things we felt were important or necessary. That’s how we got better.

In an interview with GQ last year, you said, “We have to try harder so we can be extremely good.” That seems to be your default attitude toward both the other members and toward MOA.

YEONJUN: I think you can always do better, no matter how good you already are. I know I have my weaknesses but I can always do better despite that. I think, if you have your thoughts set on some specific standard, you’re done for. And I’m always YEONJUN from TOMORROW X TOGETHER before just YEONJUN. I couldn’t have done any of the things it took to get me to where I am today on my own. The label helped and because I have the other members and MOA with me, we can all shine brighter.

Is that why you’re always showing the people around you how grateful you are? You shared the heartfelt messages you wrote to the staff you work with on Weverse and you even got snacks for hosts Jjoonijjoon and the rest of SBS’s Inkigayo staff.

YEONJUN: I think it’s really important to be grateful. I really hate when I take things for granted. I think I’ll fail as both a person and as an artist the moment I start taking others for granted. We’re going to get more and more the more we grow, and I never want to forget that I can’t take those things for granted. I think I need to be a person first and an artist second.

Personally, the lyrics to “Tinnitus (Wanna be a rock)” made me think of the movie Everything Everywhere All at Once. If you could pick one version of yourself from the multiverse, like in the movie, which YEONJUN would you choose?

YEONJUN: Me? I’m just … I’m happy the way things are now. (laughs) I hope I would be a happy YEONJUN. If it’s good, it’s good. (laughs) I want the YEONJUN who lives in a world where everyone’s happy and worry-free.

I wonder if that happy YEONJUN is doing the same work that you do.

YEONJUN: Yep.

[hyungieyoongi]

Sleep

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Word Count: 2,300+ 

Genre: fluffy + angst (because I am clearly stressed studying for my final exams, and I am projecting that into my writing) + HYBE employee from America falling for Joonie b/c who wouldn’t

Sleep wouldn’t come. She tossed and turned for a couple of hours before realizing it was futile with how fast her mind was turning over possible scenarios, worries, and anxieties one after the other. She sighed, pulling back her covers and bringing her laptop from the nightstand on top of her comforter. If she couldn’t sleep, she would at least get some work done for tomorrow.

Yawning, she opened her computer, logging in and sorting through the emails she had ignored since getting home from the HYBE offices. If something was really urgent, she would get a call. She looked over the text with glazed eyes, fighting the urge to go back to sleep, knowing she would feel wide awake as soon as her head hit the pillow again.

The truth is, she kept thinking of him. The thoughts kept streaming in, refusing to let her rest or even work. Today had hurt. It had felt like someone was laughing in her face at the sick cosmic joke the universe had played on her, forcing her to deal with her growing and overwhelming feelings for someone she could never have.

A new hire in the public relations department of the label falling for the leader of the biggest band in the world? It had disaster written all over it. Which is exactly what she told Namjoon. He had laughed, saying she was being paranoid, that they weren’t doing anything wrong by hanging out, getting closer, but she knew better. She wasn’t laughing. And by the end of their conversation today, he wasn’t either. Instead, he was looking at her like she had slapped him in the face, ruining any chance of a normal relationship between them.

“Ha, normal,” she thought with a slight, sardonic chuckle. Like anything involving this situation could be classified as normal. She knew how she felt–there was nothing normal about that considering their situation. Two people from different sides of the world, the employee-employer aspect of it all…not to mention the fact that he was a beloved Idol and completely untouchable. It could never work, she knew that. So why was he being so stubborn? He was fighting her every step of the way, telling her that the way they felt about each other warranted at least trying to be together. But it wasn’t that easy. If they didn’t work out, well, easy enough for him to move on and forget this ever happened. But, for her, it meant career devastation.

“But what if it did work out,” Y/N whispered to herself, letting the warm feeling of possibility wrap around her like a hug. She didn’t let the sensation linger, squashing it with a shake of her head as she began to furiously type to try and distract herself from the broken record that was her head versus her heart.

Her phone began to softly buzz on the nightstand next to her. She glanced at the time on her computer - 1:04 a.m. A little late for even an emergency client call. She reached for the phone, answering before checking the name on the screen.

“This is Y/N,” she said, putting on her best professional tone despite her current state of being tucked into bed in her pajamas.

“Y/N.” She knew right away she made a mistake answering the phone.

“Namjoon,” she whispered into the receiver. “What’s - what’s going on? Are you alright?” She shook her head with worry, assuming the only reason he could be calling at this hour after the way the day had transpired was for an emergency.

“Yes, no, well, technically yes,” Namjoon said. It sounded like he was on a busy street. Not hard considering her location in downtown Seoul, but he was clearly outside rather than calling from his home with the rest of BTS.

“Why are you calling me? It’s late, Namjoon,” Y/N said, not really knowing what to say. Alarm bells were ringing in her head, but she needed to know he was really okay before hanging up.

“I know, I - I’m outside,” Namjoon said. Y/N felt her breath catch, realizing the noisy street in the background was her street. She got up like a shot, keeping the phone to her ear as she rushed to the window, pushing the curtain to the side and peering out, seeing a bundled up Namjoon on the phone outside of her apartment building door. He was wearing a black hat, mask covering the lower half of his face, glasses perched on his nose–an attempt to look inconspicuous. He seemed to sense someone’s eyes on him, looking up at her window. She reeled back from the window, tripping over a nearby chair in her haste.

“Fuck,” Y/N swore under her breath, gaining her balance.

“Y/N, please,” Namjoon whispered. She knew he had seen her, but she needed another 30 seconds to gather herself before she could really, truly wrap her head around the situation. It was late. He was here. “Y/N?” Namjoon said her name like a question, wondering if he had lost her.

“I’m here. I - I’ll buzz you up,” Y/N said, grabbing a sweatshirt out of her top drawer to pull over her loose t-shirt and shorts to try and cover up at least some of herself. She counted backwards from ten, knowing exactly how long it would take him to get in the door and up the stairs until...

Two knocks on the door broke her out of her dreamlike state. She tiptoed to the door, opening it slowly, taking in the sight before her. She hadn’t seen him since their fight, and, honestly, she assumed she really would never see him like this again. Frazzled, hair messed up from anxiously running his fingers through it again and again.

He bore his eyes into her so intently she looked down at a worn spot on the floor to avoid them. She saw one of his feet step forward toward her, and she instinctively stepped back away from him. He stopped. She looked up. He looked - hurt. Hurt that she had stepped away from him. Hurt that she was so clearly uncomfortable with the situation. The easy way they used to talk to each other, laugh with each other in the hallways outside of his studio - it was gone. He wanted so desperately to get it back, see the glimmer in her eyes right before she hit him with a sarcastic comeback, watch her cheeks get red when he teased her. He craved it, that comfort, that familiarity.

She spoke first.

“Namjoon, what are you doing here?” She knew she needed to be direct - get to the point so he could leave and she could get back to pretending everything was fine–normal, even.

“I couldn’t leave things the way we left them today. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about everything I wanted to say but didn't. I felt like, well, I felt like I lost you. And I couldn’t stomach that. I just couldn’t,” Namjoon said quietly. They were still standing in her doorway. Y/N felt tears well up in her eyes. She blamed exhaustion. She took a deep breath before turning away, walking toward the kitchen. He took it as an invitation to come inside, closing and locking the door behind him as he took off his coat. He heard the kettle start to hiss with the sound of boiling water and smiled - tea. Of course she was making tea. Her way to cope with stressful situations, with emotional coworkers, was always to make them tea.

Namjoon shuffled into the kitchen, hands in his pockets, mask and jacket now removed, as he watched her work, grabbing two mugs from the cabinet and popping tea bags into each of them. The kettle started to get louder, causing her to jump slightly at the interruption to the otherwise silence throughout her apartment. She poured the water slowly, knowing that, when it was done, she would have to look at him again. When she couldn’t avoid it anymore, she turned, handing him a mug.

“Here,” she said simply, passing him and heading to her couch, sitting on the corner of it and curling her feet under her. Namjoon followed her lead yet again, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. He felt like he was a mile from her instead of a few feet. He waited.

“I don’t like the way we left things either,” Y/N said. Namjoon turned his head to her, eyes wide with anticipation and hope. She didn’t return his gaze. “But,” his heart sank, “I can’t change my mind. This is the way things have to be.” She took a long sip of tea, shivering at the contact with hot liquid.

“You can’t, or you don’t want to?” Namjoon said, realizing what she had really said.

Y/N looked at him shocked, realizing she had slipped up in her argument - she might be trying to fight this rationally, but her heart clearly wasn’t all the way in it.

“I - I don’t know,” Y/N said, defeated.

“Yes, you do,” Namjoon encouraged, putting his mug down on the coffee table. He turned to her fully now, refusing to break eye contact with her. “You just don’t want to admit it to yourself because then it will all be real. All the late-night phone calls when we’re stressed, the meals in my studio together. All of it.”

Her eyes got wide and her mouth opened slightly before she quickly shut it and composed herself.

“If it’s real, we’ll both just end up getting hurt, and you know that. You can’t sit here and pretend it’s all going to be okay. Because it’s just - it’s just not,” Y/N suddenly felt more tired than she had all night, dropping her head into her hands and covering her face with her shaking fingers. She felt a tug on her right hand, Namjoon’s warm fingers circling hers as he pulled both hands away from her face. He got up from the couch, kneeling in front of her. She looked up slightly, meeting him eye-level in front of her. He put their joined hands in her lap, stroking the back of her hand subconsciously with her thumb, comforting her.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not going anywhere before you believe it?” Namjoon asked. “It doesn’t matter if it gets complicated or difficult or messy. I will be here for you. I will fight for us.” The exasperation, love, and his own exhaustion were written in his eyes as he scanned hers for reassurance that she felt the same way - that she knew she couldn’t keep going on denying what felt right.

“How can you be so sure?” Y/N asked quietly. He let out a breath, gripping her hands tighter as he brought his face closer to hers.

“Because I’m in love with you. I love you, Y/N,” Namjoon whispered. He saw the emotion flicker across her face, tears fill her eyes. He didn’t have any other words - he grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her, more passionately than he had ever kissed her. He poured every ounce of love and emotion into that kiss, wanting her to know and to feel exactly how he felt. She hesitated at first before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer, his own dropping down around her waist and bringing their bodies as close as possible given their position.

Y/N pulled back first, trying to catch her breath. He looked at her expectantly, hoping she would let him hear the words he so badly wanted - no, needed - to hear.

“Namjoon, I love you, too,” Y/N whispered into the small space between them. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of her chest, finally being able to say those three words to the man that had entered every part of her soul and refused to leave. The man in front of her who was smiling bigger than she had ever seen. He stood up, grabbing her right hand and bringing her to stand in front of him. Then, he grabbed her and spun her around, both of their laughter filling her apartment. After all of the tension, the stress of the day - it felt like the pieces were falling into place again.

He put her back on her feet, looking down at her with the most love and adoration. Her cheeks were tinged pink from laughter, her lips slightly swollen from their kissing. He had never seen her look so beautiful.

“What are we going to do?” Y/N asked, her joy from their mutual admissions of love being replaced with worry. Her forehead scrunched down slightly in worry. He kissed her on the forehead, then both cheeks, then the corner of her mouth, before placing a soft, gentle kiss on her lips. He pulled back, placing his forehead on hers.

“We’ll figure it out - together,” he said simply, confidently. He felt her nod slightly in affirmation against his head, his eyes closing as he just took in this moment between them. Hell, he had waited so long, he needed to just soak it in.

He felt her take his hand in hers, opening his eyes to look at the woman he loved. She led him to her bed, climbing in under the covers while he took off his shoes before climbing in next to her. He wrapped his arms around her, smiling as he felt her head nuzzle into his chest, body forming perfectly to his side. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. Y/N felt Namjoon’s breathing slow down slightly.

“I love you,” he whispered into her hair.

“I love you, too,” she responded, snuggling closer to him, closing her mind to the stress that was to come, knowing that Namjoon would be by her side when it did. His arms tightened around her as they both fell asleep. It was the best night of sleep they both had gotten in a long time.

[anika-ann]

Walk Me Home Tonight (S.R.)

Type: one-shot, songfic

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word count: 4700

Summary: Sometimes it’s hard to be in a celebratory mood when all you can think of is that life sucks and that being left on your own to drown your sorrows is for the best.

Sometimes people who care about you know better than yourself and come crashing your party of one.

Sometimes, despite the popular belief, you do realize how lucky you are having been introduced to Steve Rogers.

Warnings: mention of blood and violence and death, mention of alcohol, angst, fluff and language

A/N: P!nk’s Walk Me Home just does something to me, alright? Music video included - it’s soooo beautiful.

*✧･*✧･*✧･*✧･*✧･*✧･*✧･

You stared at the amber liquid, lazily making it roll in the glass with idle motions of your wrist. It reflected the rather soft lights of the bar, an exquisite game of colour you found fascinating enough to dull your mind and muffle the noise of the party.

It wasn’t that you were a party pooper, not usually anyway; just… the timing wasn’t ideal.

Of course, Sharon could hardly move her birthday to make it more convenient for you, less so a party her colleagues had decided to throw for her. You knew Agent Carter for quite some time now; she had joined SHIELD about the same time as you, going through the same tough training. Except unlike you – and initially without your knowledge – she had an image to live up to.

You might even call her a friend, your chest bursting in pride for her when her hard work had finally borne some fruit and she had been promoted to an assistant director of the intelligence agency. Among other things, it earned her a lot of new potential friends.

You were hardly acting like one tonight, much to your own annoyance. But for some reason, you found it difficult to leave your momentary emotional baggage at the doorstep, slipping it off as easily as your coat. You had wished her all the best, conversed for a tiny bit and then happily made space for others, for the forming line of guests waiting to celebrate with her as well.

Then you retreated to your spot at the bar, possibly annoying the bartender, who would have been more delighted seeing some heavier drinker occupying your seat, tipping generously, instead of having you nursing each glass of alcohol for about two hours.

You weren’t even sure why you were still here; you had given up on the attempt on small talk with anyone, apparently unwittingly chasing away any potential company. And here you thought misery did love company – perhaps you were wrong, at least when it came to birthday parties of gorgeous women loved by everyone. You might as well pack up your bottom and sulk at home.

You were stubbornly shushing the voice in the back of your skull, whispering about knowing precisely why you remained in your seat; about feeling less alone here, despite being a literal loner in a crowd.

You downed the rest of the bitter scotch, basking in the burn which it left on its way down your throat, your eyelids slipping shut in content, the noise in your brain falling silent completely for few blissful moments.

“Party of one?” a male voice gently asked, the tinniest note of teasing in it and while your heart skipped a startled beat at being addressed, you felt the burn in your throat slip lower, warming your chest and causing the corners of your mouth turn up just a fraction.

 There's something in the way you roll your eyes Takes me back to a better time When I saw everything is good But now you're the only thing that's good

 “Felt like crashing it?” you hummed in response, side-eyeing the intruder and found a pair of cerulean eyes staring back. He blindly waved off the eager bartender who was about to offer him a drink.

Ah, poor guy. No tips for him tonight.

“Well, I didn’t get an invitation. Looks like crashing was my only option.”

You sighed tiredly despite Steve’s kind teasing. Tonight was just… so exhausting. Tonight. Today. This week. Gah, this whole month. This fucking year--- okay, maybe you were exaggerating, because you were simply crossing the line, moving from relaxed buzzed drunk to a miserable one.

Battling with yourself, arguing whether you should send him to hell – nicely, because Steve was nothing but kind, he was always so kind, goddammit, gentle humour spiced with the ability to become an utter troll, still benign though, that was why you usually enjoyed his company so much after all-… – or call it a night.

Or should you order another drink? Was there a point? You might cross the line to a clingy drunk eventually and you weren’t certain that was a good idea.

It was probably about as good of an idea as coming to a party despite feeling like shit on an emotional roller-coaster, dangerously inclining towards a very bad mood to put it mildly.

You tilted your head to side as you looked at Steve properly, tight blue shirt flattering his supersoldier frame, black pants with desperately needed leather belt considering his thin waist, his blonde hair a mess, gaze fixed on you, observing. Always observing to read people, to anticipate behaviour, evaluate the threat; sometimes simply to be considerate, to… to be compassionate.

Dammit, Steve.

“Must have got lost in the mail then,” you said eventually, offering a weak smile. “Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s alright,” he shrugged it off, the curve of his lips more distinct than yours. As if he was offering to cheer you up. Sweet, but possibly vain effort tonight. Sometimes, things simply piled up and there was no escape. Such was the fate of a government agent. And human, for that matter. “Doesn’t look like much fun and I think it’s about to end anyway.”

“I guess…”

 Tryna stand up on my own two feet This conversation ain't comin' easily And darling, I know it's getting late So what do you say we leave this place?

 This time, Steve actually made an eye contact with the bartender, who eagerly rushed to him at instant. His excited expression fell when he noticed you were pulling out your wallet to close your tab. You didn’t have the strength to shoot him an apologetic smile.

Steve’s eyes were on you the whole time, you could feel them, and you wondered why. Until he spoke again, as soon as the other man left.

“Come on. I’ll walk you home,” he offered gentlemanly, coaxing you into saying yes, possibly unaware of the effect which such tone had on people.

Or perhaps he knew, using exactly that when he was trying to talk someone down, to calm them, gain their trust. The joke was on him, because it was a vain effort; you trusted him fully already. Surely, he knew that.

Right?

Trust was the solid base the team of Avengers needed and since you somehow found yourself with them, it involved you too. The team stood and fell on trust and mutual respect. But it meant so much more – they were friends. They cared about each other, about their well-being.

Right now, Steve was being a good friend and a good teammate.

And you were being exactly that too when you turned his kind proposition down.

“No, it’s fine. There are still some people who are actually able to speak coherently with you. Go enjoy yourself. I’ll be okay.”

“It’s three in the morning,” he pointed out, as if admonishing you for not noticing. Your eyebrow rose deliberately.

“…and?”

“And I’d feel better if you weren’t walking the streets alone,” he replied easily, ignoring the hint of snark in your comeback as you made your way to the coat-stand.

Still walking on the line of miserable and pleasantly buzzed, you couldn’t find it in yourself to be mean to him for such patronizing approach. He had been raised this way and despite his open mind and admirable respect to women, he slipped sometimes.

“Steve, I’m a SHIELD agent basically turned Avenger. I can take care of my-“

“But you don’t have to. And-” He gestured subtly back towards the bar and a metaphorical lightbulb flickered above your head.

Not patronizing then, god forbid chauvinist; Peggy Carter would rise from the death to beat him with his own shield, with Natasha’s enthusiastic help, if he was showing any sign of aforementioned qualities and he was well-aware of that.

Just mother-henning then, the way Steve excelled at.

It brought the first honest smile of the night to your lips. You made sure to face him so he could see how wholesome his company was for you.

“I’m not too drunk, Steve. I had like two glasses of scotch,” you assured him, gently brushing his forearm before reaching for your coat and scarf. “And two beers.”

“I know,” he stated, stealing your coat only to hold it out for you to slip into it.

God, the woman who would once win his heart was about to be one lucky bitch.

Jim has never done this for me, flashed through your mind and you instantly shushed the whining voice in your head. Instead, you went over what he just said, blinking in surprise.

Huh? He… knew?

“I… might have kept an eye on you,” he admitted tentatively, the tips of his fingers brushing your shoulder before retreating and letting you to cocoon in the fabric.

“Why?”

Why would he keep an eye on you? Sure, teammates and friends and all that, but for some reason, you doubted he kept an eye on Tony, the only other Avenger (beside Steve, not Steve and you, you don’t count, a voice hissed in your mind and you winced) who attended the party, not being on any mission at the moment.

Why did Steve feel like you needed a chaperone?

No, that was too harsh of a word for him, you were certain his intentions were everything but malicious, but… why?

 Walk me home in the dead of night I can't be alone with all that's on my mind, mhm So say you'll stay with me tonight 'Cause there is so much wrong going on outside

 The genuine wonder must have been audible in your voice, much like your shock must have been clear in your expression, because Steve seemed sheepish all of sudden, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Well, I mean, I know that you probably wouldn’t-“ he started, only to grimace. “It’s not that I think you’re an alcoholic! It’s just that... you--- and it’s only been-…“

-four days since you got dumped, you finished the unspoken sentence and tried your best to ignore the cold seeping into your bones at the reminder.

One of the reasons why you had been in a sour mood and deciding to drink alone. Your amazing asshole of a boyfriend had dumped you, metaphorically kicking you while you had already been down. Lovely.

“-I was worried. But you didn’t look like you were interested in having company, I didn’t want to be a bother and-“

You pulled Steve out of his misery by placing a hand over his forearm, which stopped the words spilling uncontrollably from his mouth.

He was actually being very sweet and thoughtful. It kinda made you feel bad, because… you weren’t looking for dragging someone down with you. As it was, he had his own reasons to not be happy about partying tonight, but feeling like he had to keep an eye on you probably didn’t help to lift his spirits.

“-and you had to spend some time with the woman of the hour,” you finished instead of him slowly, hoping you sounded at least half as thoughtful as he did and that you didn’t appear to be the greatest bitch, stealing attention from Sharon. “That’s understandable, Steve. It is her birthday party and I’m the one being antisocial.”

You bit down your lip, lowering your gaze, because the infamous worried wrinkle appeared on Steve’s forehead and you just knew he was about to protest and you… honestly felt bad about your behaviour and the welcoming colour of his eyes was not helping to make you feel any better, because of course he probably thought it was perfectly normal to look out for you instead of allowing himself to enjoy the night and- ugh.

“You… you shouldn’t have to look out for me. Your attention could have been fully on the birthday girl.”

Naturally, Steve Rogers basically shrugged it off. Covering your hand on him with his large palm, he slouched to look into your eyes once more. Insistent bastard, no doubt aware of your inability to say no to his amiable face.

“That’s what friends are for. Now, can I walk you home?”

You shook your head with a sad smile, rising your gaze towards the ceiling, hoping it came out as an exasperation at his stubbornness and not as it truly was – you in fact attempting to keep your tears at bay, because, miserable drunk, dumped four days ago apart from other things and there he was, asshole perfect, Steve fucking Rogers, gentleman and friend extraordinaire, caring for your well-being more than Jim ever had.

A twinkle appeared in his eye when he recognized he won and you chuckled, sealing his victory out loud.

“Yes, Steve. You can walk me home. It’s conveniently located on the way to yours.”

He smirked when he shrugged on his own coat. “Happy coincidences…”

 There's something in the way I wanna cry That makes me think we'll make it out alive So come on and show me how we're good I think that we could do some good, mhm

 Once you left the bar, silence fell on you, feeling heavy as did the cold November air.

Heavy and awkward. While you could tell with certainty you were barely affected by the alcohol you had drunk, your steps were wobbly, knees shaky as if you were a baby horse trying to stand up for the first time.

Steve walked by your side, majestic in his thigh-length coat, hands snugged in its pockets only halfway as if he was waiting for you needing his support. It irritated you as much as it warmed your heart.

On top of everything, you would swear every lone person you met stared at you, staring you up and down until they seemed to register Steve’s imposing frame and quickly went back to their business. It annoyed you to no end; it was just proving Steve’s point that you shouldn’t walk the streets alone at such hour, government agent or not.

“I would have been fine, you know,” you hummed, cautiously breaking the relative quiet.

It was never truly quiet in New York City, only rush hours alternating with calmer ones. You didn’t mind it; you enjoyed the city. Sometimes quiet meant that thoughts won the opportunity to become too loud; tonight, for some reason, despite the silence, Steve prevented that ever since he joined you.

It dawned to you then, how ungrateful you sounded and you quickly added “But thanks.” –  a whisper full of honesty.

“Uh-huh.”

Perhaps the silence weighted so much because your mood wasn’t the only cause of it.

Steve was showing you that he worried; surely, you could as well? Because you did, worry about him that was.

“…are you? Okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked distractedly, but you could hear the frown on his face, the image of his nose scrunched in confusion painted in front of your eyes even without looking at him.

“Just… today-” you nudged him once more and vaguely eyed your watch only to be reminded that ‘today’ was a confusing term. “Or, more like, yesterday…”

A sharp inhale was drawn at your side and you could sense as he started closing off, putting up his walls so no one would catch a scent of his weakness. You hated when he tried to do that. You would have thought you were past that. You liked to consider you two friends at least.

Tonight was simply not your night. Of either of you, apparently.

“What about it-?“

You sighed, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. Were you truly such a crappy company, an insensitive friend or was there something sorrowful and cranky in the air, preventing your communication channels from tuning to the same frequency?

You were aware what the day meant for him – another painful reminder of what he had lost with crashing the plane in the forties only to wake up in a new millennium.

Though this particular loss – of his mother – haunted him even back in what some people called his days. It was an utter non-sense. Steve belonged there as much as he belonged here. He was brave enough to try and stubborn enough to succeed in fitting in.

“Nothing, I guess,” you sighed once more, this time rolling your eyes. “…Mr. Nothing Can Touch Me.”

The wry nickname hung in the air for a while, the faint noise of the night city washing over your pair. When Steve broke it again, there was a barely audible crack in his voice.

“I… I’m okay. I think. I… should be. It’s been so long. Decades,” he mused, turning his gaze to the sky. His eyes glistened and if you didn’t know him, hadn’t witnessed his walls lowering before, you would have thought it was just the streetlights reflecting.

You knew better. Tentatively, your fingers brushed his, not remembering when his hands had left his pockets. You were grateful for it now, especially when he didn’t retrieve from your touch instantly.

“Not for you,” you pointed out quietly, rewarded by the softest squeeze of his warm hand.

The heaviness and tension you had felt before resolved with the gesture. Something finally fell into place and you were almost you again and he was almost him.

Two figures, carrying their griefcases, but functioning and… harmonizing once more.

“How did you know?”

“That’s what friends are for, Steve,” you echoed his earlier words, sending a tiny smile his way, meeting his glassy gaze. “They remember important dates, good or bad.”

“No one else did. Not that I can actually hold it against Buck, of course... but no one… you…” his voice trailed off as he lost his train of thought – or perhaps he had never truly directed it to the station in the first place.

Your shoulders moved a fraction, a hint of a shrug-off. His hand wrapped around yours tighter in silent appreciation, not showing any sign of intending to let go.

And you were alright with that. More than alright.

Walk me home in the dead of night I can't be alone with all that's on my mind, mhm So say you'll stay with me tonight 'Cause there is so much wrong going on outside

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

His presence was always immense, overwhelming even; yet so comfortable you didn’t have the slightest problem with opening your heart to him, offering it to him even when it was bleeding. And now, finally tuned together, it was no different.

You bared your heart to him, even if it hurt.

“She didn’t make it,” you whispered, voice pained in the dead of the night and he didn’t react, letting you to gather strength to elaborate. You cleared your throat as the lump grew in it.  “Kayla, one of the kids… from last week’s mission. I found out yesterday… she-she didn’t make it, she had too many injuries. Word is that perhaps it was even a blessing. A relief.”

“I’m so sorry,” Steve repented, his grip growing stronger just a fraction, enough to make your chest and eyes burn.

“Yeah, so am I.”

Whatever he heard in your voice, it caused his fingers twitch in your hand, his footsteps slowing down. “You know that wasn’t your fault, right?”

“Wasn’t it? If I was faster, if I-“

Steve stopped in his tracks completely, pulling at your hand to make you do the same and face him.

You closed your eyes when his blue ones met them, unable to stand the urgency in them. His free hand curled around your shoulder, caressing in attempt at comfort.

“Hey, hey, don’t do that to yourself.” Hypocrite, you threw back at him in your mind, stubbornly keeping your eyelids shut, simply knowing that if you saw the sincerity in his gaze in addition to the fervour he spoke with, you might actually believe him. “You did your best. I know that, Nat and Buck know, everyone does. A monster you helped to put behind bars hurt the kids. Not you. You saved so many lives.”

You shook your head with a sigh, staring straight ahead as you turned on your heels and continued your path. Steve, never letting go of your hand, followed reluctantly.

“Sometimes I think he might have been right, you know?”

Peripherally, you saw him frown again and you cursed yourself for drinking – it untangled your tongue and his stupid face made your spill your guts to him, vomit emotion. You weren’t too secretive about your feelings most of the time, but damn, you hated how alcohol pushed your boundaries of sharing them.

“… Jim. He said that maybe I should give it up. That I’m just running alongside you, heroes, pretending to be one of you, but in the end, I’m not even close to being as good-“

Steve’s feet took roots in the ground, his steely grip forcing you to stop – as long as you wanted to keep your hand attached, which yeah, you kinda did.

“I feel like taking a detour now,” he muttered darkly and for a short moment, confusion was everything you felt, blissfully overtaking the anger, the sorrow, the helplessness and the feeling of utter uselessness.

“Huh?”

“Where does Jim live?” Steve spitted out the name venomously and you couldn’t help the wave of affection washing over you. Affection towards this treasure of a man who apparently wanted to punch another human being because it offended his friend. “He has no business saying something like that. Especially if his bullshit actually affects you-”

“Steve, he wasn’t wrong, I’m just-“ you sputtered, caught off guard when you registered the fire in his glare.

“We all make mistakes. But that’s beside the point, because you didn’t even make any that day. I read the report, and I know you, you put everything you got and more into the rescue mission. How can he-“ he hissed, literally taking a calming breath as both of his hands balled into fist.

Well, one of them only nearly, since it was still holding yours. It actually stung a bit, the bones in your hand close to grinding against each other.

“-I haven’t met him many times, but if he said that instead of comforting you after an incredibly draining mission, then I’m glad that that asshole is gone from your life. … though I would still appreciate his address.”

Blinking away the few stray tears that welled up, you forced a smile as Steve’s strict glare found yours. It felt good, seeing his indignation; having someone else exasperated on how Jim had reacted. He should have given you a hug and hold you tight; that was what you would wish for. Instead, he told you to stop complaining and when you accused him of not supporting you, he called you a whiny bitch who should make up her damn mind and broke things off.

You deeply appreciated Steve’s display of chivalry, hell, you half-considered giving away the address just so Jim would hear someone else agreeing with you, but you were honestly just tired. And you had a feeling Steve wouldn’t stay only at words and seeing any more blood, any more aggression would have been too much for you tonight.

Tonight, you… you needed serenity and comfort.

“…thank you. That… that means a lot. But… maybe just walk me home? Please? Could you walk me home, Steve?” you pleaded softly, barely audible, not caring it sounded like weeping of a needy child.

Unbeknownst to you, that was the last thing you resembled in Steve’s eyes. Your imploring gaze, vulnerable and open, it moved something inside him, his anger silenced for the moment, leaving him defenceless, unable to say no. Not that he had an intention to do so. He always had trouble saying no to you.

So he forced his fists to relax, running his thumb over the back of your hand and whispered the only word that made sense.

“Always.”

You settled back to the comfortable silence after that.

 Walk me home in the dead of night 'Cause I can't be alone with all that's on my mind Say you'll stay with me tonight 'Cause there is so much wrong going on

 You reached the Tower hand in hand.

Neither of you released the other. Not during the elevator ride, not when you walked the halls lined with doors leading to each’s private quarters.

You were still holding onto each other when you came to a stop in front of your door; rest assured, Steve Rogers would lead you right to your door even if his was only at the end of the very same corridor.

Standing nearly chest to chest, his eyes bored into yours with seriousness that surprised you.

“For the record, you do a great deal of good,” he reassured you, saying it as if he truly meant it. It tugged at your heart, sweet and bitter. “You’re amazing and you’re the most authentic of all of us. I admire you.”

That claim caused you to chuckle. Now he was laying it on a bit thick, downright exaggerating.

“You admire me? Steve, that’s really nice of you to say, but don’t be ridi-“

Your words died in your throat when his large palm splayed over your cheek, cradling it gently. When the paddle of his thumb swiped over your other cheek, soft smile playing on his lips, his irises bright with a promise, time seemingly stopped along with your heart.

“And you’re a great friend to the whole team, a wonderful person. Do me a favour and finally learn to accept a compliment,” he asked of you in hushed voice, the electric blue and green of his eyes locking you in. “If he didn’t praise you enough for you to get used to it, he was doing something wrong.”

You gulped, a silly association with the word ‘praise’ allowing you to break from the cage of his gaze that had previously had your mind gone blank.

“I’m not a dog to be praised, Steve…”

One corner of his lips – and when did they got so close anyway? – twitched. And then a tender kiss landed on your forehead, just the softest brush of lips against your skin. The gesture, utterly incomprehensible for you, had your eyelids flutter shut.

“I’m very much aware. Believe me, doll, I know. Thank you for letting me walk you home.”

You only nodded at the ridiculous statement – why was he thanking you? – too perplexed at the fact his lips had made contact with your skin. When did you cross the line towards the delusional drunk?

His fingertips caressed your face as he let go, wishing you to have a good night. Too baffled, you were unable to respond until he had already made his way to his door and you suddenly missed the warmth of his presence.

Breaking free from your haze, you acted on impulse, apparently startling him when you called his name out of blue so urgently.

“Steve!”

Whipping his head around to look at you, you felt your heart jump into your throat.

“Uh… are you ready to go to bed or… or maybe… would you like to watch a movie or something?” With me?

I don’t think I’m ready to be alone. Ready to be without you.

Even from the distance, you would swear you saw his lips spread in a slow honey-sweet smile.

“I think I’d like that,” he called out lowly. “Ten minutes? I’ll get the blankets. You pick the movie.”

“See you in ten then.”

You pretended that your heart didn’t flutter, sending a wave of familiar tingle through your chest and to your fingers, as you slipped inside your room with your mouth curled up in a content smile.

 Walk me home in the dead of night I can't be alone with all that's on my mind So say you'll stay with me tonight 'Cause there is so much wrong There is so much wrong There is so much wrong going on outside

*✧･ Bonus *✧･

If Tony found them two and half hour later, closing credits rolling, the pair curled up and cuddling on the couch, you fast asleep in Steve’s arms, and he noticed that the supersoldier was in fact only faking to avoid an interrogation from the Ironman himself, he didn’t mention it. He just whispered to FRIDAY to turn off the TV and turn off the dimmed lights completely.

He hoped Rogers would treat you the way you deserved, unlike the man who now had farts announcing a received e-mail or texts, unable to change it, and a laptop turning on randomly, dead-pale children staring at him from the screen with hollow eyes and in clothes dripping water. Tony would hate to have to hack more tech again just to avenge your broken heart without your knowledge any time soon.

He’d rather suffer watching the two of his friends being disgustingly sweet on each other.

Probably.

*✧･*✧･*✧･*✧･*✧･*✧･*✧･

S.R. masterlist

*✧･*✧･*✧･*✧･*✧･*✧･*✧･

Silent thanks to the person who came up with the word ‘griefcase’ as an alternative to emotional baggage.

Also, I’m pretty sure songfics aren’t supposed to be so long... oops?

Thank you for reading!

[bts-weverse-trans]

201126 Weverse Magazine ‘BE’ Comeback Interview - Jin

Jin: “It feels like my memories of ARMY were all a dream” BTS BE comeback interview 2020.11.26

Jin is calm and quiet throughout the whole interview. But while his words start out sounding like those in an everyday conversation, they soon begin to tell the story of a protagonist in the intricate drama that is BTS.

You worked on the lyrics for “Stay.” Jin: The song opens with the words, “Was it a dream?” and I came up with the theme. We used to see our fans and it was great, but now that’s something we can’t do anymore. I thought it all felt like a dream. I wanted to say, “We used to be so happy together, but now I feel like your very existence was a dream.” I came up with the intro and then talked about it with RM. He really helped me a lot.

I’m guessing you came up with the lyrics because of COVID-19. Jin: It was around two to three months ago that I wrote the lyrics for the song, when it seemed like COVID-19 wasn’t getting any better. I want to put on another concert, and, like I said, it feels like my memories of ARMY were all a dream: Ah, they always used to be there with us, and then they disappeared like a memory—was all that a dream? Will we ever meet again? Those kinds of thoughts.

It sounds like you had a hard time getting used to this new situation. Jin: Yes. That used to be a part of our life for years, so it felt like a part of my life disappeared. When we had a busy schedule to deal with, sometimes I thought maybe it would be fun to have no job, but when that work was no longer there, no matter what I did, even if I poured myself into it, it all became meaningless very quickly. I felt insecure when I had nothing to do, since I’m so used to being busy, and feeling insecure made me think more about the things I like, and what I should do to make myself happier, besides work.

Would you say that’s been incorporated into your work on BE? Just from looking at the album photos, we can see each of you expressing your own thoughts through your room designs. Jin: Mine was the jewel room. They asked me what kind of concept I wanted for my room. I thought about what I wanted to do, and I wanted to go with gems. I was imagining myself lying down with gems all around me, but V, who was the visual director, thought I was joking at first. (laughs) “You were supposed to decorate the room, what do you mean gems?” But still, that’s the image I had in mind, so we went with that concept, except it wasn’t full of gems like I imagined. But I really stand out in the picture, so I’m satisfied with the result.

Why did you choose gems? Jin: Well … I have a sort of free, do-whatever-I-want personality, and at the time, I was really intrigued by gems, so that’s what I chose. This year, with the pandemic, I had more time to think about what I want and the things I want to do, and to try some new things, like playing piano, playing games, not playing games, meeting different people. But still, I can’t tell what I really like. I don’t think I ever thought much about myself, other than the work part. The best answer I found was doing whatever I’m interested in at the moment; is being the truest to myself. I’m more of a feeler than a thinker. Some might say I should have a plan for my future, but I don’t have any. (laughs) I thought that I really just do as I please.

So what does it mean to do as you please? Jin: Like I said, I’m someone who literally lives only in the present, so I tend to forget about the past, and I don’t stress over the future. I know I won’t forget important moments or times I spent with other people, but I’ve forgotten all the bad things that happened in the past and the hard times I had, and I’m really satisfied with my life now and happy to be working hard. How can anyone feel happy over and over again from something that happened in the past, no matter how good it was? You can be happier finding 10,000 won on the ground now than earning 100 times that in the past. I think I’m living true to my feelings by living in the now rather than thinking about the future or the past.

Even though you say you do whatever you’d like, aren’t there things you still need to be careful about, being a part of BTS? Jin: There are things that should be followed as a rule, such as not crossing on a red light, for example. Because if you do, there might be an accident. So those things, I set aside as things I shouldn’t do, so I never really thought of wanting to do them.

That sounds more like self-discipline. (laughs) Jin: It’s the same as not crossing at a red light if you don’t want to get hurt. I can keep myself happy living in the present as long as I’m not doing anything I shouldn’t be doing. Some might feel a bit frustrated, but they might also be the kind of people who cross at a red light. (laughs)

The song “Dis-ease” captures each of the BTS members’ thoughts on work. Is it especially difficult for you, in particular, to separate work from your personal life? Your life is influenced by your work. Jin: To me, work makes a lot of things happen in my life. Naturally there are times I feel stressed because of work, but the work I do makes me happy and has led to some spectacular experiences. Sometimes it’s interesting, other times it might be exhausting. I think I feel an entire spectrum of emotions thanks to my work. I lead my life the way I do because of my work, so to speak.

Just as you did, the other members also expressed on BE their feelings of what they’ve been through. Other than “Stay,” what other songs did you relate to? Jin: I didn’t really think about which songs I relate to, but I can tell you which song I like the most: “Blue & Grey,” by V. I liked that song from the very first time I listened to it, so I listened to the demo over and over again.

What was the demo version like? Jin: When V first made it and gave it to me, it didn’t have the rap part yet. There were no lines for the rap but it sounded really unique. Only the instrumental was there for that part and it felt like it was time for thinking by myself. Of course, I like the full version with the rap, too, but still, I liked how there was space that made you think. It’s been a long time since I got that feeling from listening to one of the demos. The first one was “Spring Day,” and the second was “Blue & Grey.”

It sounds like you found the song right when you needed some time to think. Jin: Yes. Before our debut, I had a clear goal: to debut. I chased after that one goal. After we debuted, I was chasing after a number one hit, and after we got number one I was chasing after major awards. And after that there were a lot of other awards, like from Billboard, and performances to put on, but it wasn’t a goal in the sense that it was my goal to debut. I’m just happy to be working. Every moment is wonderful and has become like my whole life. That wasn’t how I felt when I was a trainee because I had a serious goal then. But now, my goal is to live without overthinking anything. Maybe it’s not really a goal but a kind of defense mechanism.

A defense mechanism? Jin: As you get thinking, you might somehow undermine yourself. So, as long as I don’t think too hard, I can work hard right now. Maybe that’s why I called it a defense mechanism: If I stop and think about it, I might have too many ways to put myself down.

But if you imagine someone else were to have accomplished the same things you have, wouldn’t they think they deserve to feel proud? Jin: That’s true, but I’m also one of seven members of BTS. Thinking about what I’ve done as an individual feels like a burden to me. Up until we finished working on Map of the Soul: 7, I wasn’t burdened but felt, “Okay, we all did a good job. I’m happy with this.” But after getting “Dynamite” to the top of the Billboard Top 100 and starting down this new road, I started to wonder if I deserve any of this.

But you experienced a lot of big things before. What made you think that way this time? Jin: I was waiting for the chart position to come out all day, and then right before bed, Namjoon sent a message to our group chat. That’s when I realized we were number one! I was really happy, but something felt different. Maybe it was because we couldn’t see our fans. After “Dynamite,” we got even more love from even more people, and even when I was walking down the street, people would say things like, “I’m a big fan of yours,” or, “Thank you for introducing Korea to the world.” Then I started to think, “Do I deserve all this congratulations and love? That’s not me—I’m not that kind of person.” I got over it a bit, but even until a few days ago, the pressure was so intense that I couldn’t get any work done.

How did you move away from all that pressure? Jin: I just moved on. Like with COVID-19, we all have to wait and stay put until everything gets better. And actually, after “Dynamite” made number one, we got really busy, so I was able to think less about other things and basically avoid them that way, all those questions about life. I think that’s how I endured.

If you had had the fans there with you, maybe you would have felt less pressure or worry. Maybe it makes what you’re doing now seem incomplete compared to the past. Jin: We did so much and we worked so hard, but the result doesn’t hit you the same way, does it? The—excitement, maybe?—isn’t quite there. There’s a big difference between performing for people and performing for the camera. The performance itself is hard, too, of course. I have to keep at it for months once we start. But when we perform for people, I feel alive.

Had you been able to perform “Dynamite” on stage for your fans, you probably would have felt more love and more confident taking first place. Jin: I want to look and do my best in front of the fans no matter what. It’s a lot more fun when our fans are there, right in front of us. I’m not thinking about anything else in another sense, when they’re there with us.  For people who don’t perform like we do, when they have fun, they don’t think about much else, and just focus on what they’re doing. I think we’re the same way when our fans are around. I don’t have to think about anything else, because my fans are all right in front of me. I just have fun and forget about everything else.

Hopefully you’ll feel like everything is back to normal once you can see your fans again. Jin: At first I thought I’ll probably cry tears of joy. But would I? I don’t really think so. At first I really thought I would, but now I think it might feel like going back home. It depends on who you ask, but I don’t think most people would cry just because they came back to their hometown after being away. I think that’s how I’ll feel: like I’m back where I should be.

Talking to you, it seems like the sense of being loved by your fans must be important to you, emotionally. Jin: You’re right. Getting love from the fans was my source of happiness—what can I compare this to? Like a kid who’s always showered with love by their parents, but then the parents are suddenly gone on a business trip for like, ten months. It’s kind of like that. I was always trying to make our fans smile, make them feel good, by acting cute, but now my parents have been away on their business trip for, ten months, and I’m trying to be cute over a video call. That’s what it feels like. So please, wrap up your business trip as soon as possible, and hurry up and come home so I can show you how cute I am again! And, to COVID-19: Please get lost. (laughs)

Trans © Weverse

[thatgirlwritingficsatnight]

Gift exchange

It’s Christmas Eve, and you’ve forgotten about your Christmas company party. Even worse you forgot to get a gift for the “not so secret Santa” - your company’s tradition. Wanna top it? Make it even worse? No problem. The person you were supposed to get a gift for? Your crush. Defsoul - the most talented, kindest and hottest person alive. What are you going to do now?

pairing: Lim Jaebeom (Defsoul) x reader

genre: smut, fluff, Jaebeom is a producer, Y/N is a manager

warnings: smut: daddy kink, light choking, ass play; foul language (please don’t read it if you’re not old enough)

words: 4989

A/N: TFW you try to write a GOT7 reaction, and you end up with one-shot. I know I’m kinda late with whole christmas theme but i wrote it last night and figured out I could post it anyway.

***

You barely got to shut your eyes before your alarm tore you up from your dreams. It was nine in the morning, and you went to sleep at six AM because of your work. You groaned as you shuffled in bed cursing your job, three hours of sleep was not enough for anyone. Being manager of K-pop girl group was hard enough but being the manager in December when there was award show after award show and festivals - that was a nightmare. To other people December was equal to Christmas, gifts, parties, New Year's Eve but to you, it was synonymous with constant state of tiredness, your biggest wish right now was to spent Christmas break alone, just you and your bed. You sighed as you dragged yourself to shower. Girls had only slept for 5 hours, and you felt bad for them — not only were they invited to each award show that existed they also just have had a comeback. You could see how exhausted they were and yet your superiors still pushed for them to go to some stupid TV show on Christmas Eve. You got yourself ready and went to pick them up and get them to set.

The recording went smoothly, and you were already daydreaming about coming home early and passing out on your bed. It was six PM already, but you still had to drive girls home and step into the office for a bit. You sighed you'd be home eight PM at best - well it was still better than coming home at two or three AM. You were about to go and thank everyone for their hard work when your phone vibrated. It was your best friend and coworker.

"Hey Inha. What's up?"

"I wanted to check if you remember about the company party tonight."

You hit your forehead and groaned.

"OMG! You forgot! Have you bought a gift at least?"

"No..." you whined. You wanted to die. You had so much work lately that you've absolutely forgotten about that party — it was for staff only and each year you'd drew lots to pick the person you were supposed to give a gift to. It wasn't even secret Santa your boss simply came to conclusion that gift exchange would help out with forming friendships...

"Girl... Do you at least remember who you drew?"

Of course you remembered. How could you not. This was your lucky year, you got Defsoul the hottest, kindest and most talented person working for your label. You had a small crush on him since that day he gave up his coffee for you. You were falling asleep standing while girls were recording their vocals, and he chuckled at you before telling you to sit by him and drink some coffee. It probably meant nothing to him but that was one of the most stressful weeks in your life, and you weren't sleeping at all during that time — ITZY were about to make a debut, and you couldn't stop worrying over it. You remember how touched you were by this simple gesture, after all no one ever gave you coffee, usually you were the one getting it for other people. His looks certainly didn't help with your hopeless crush. He was H O T and not even simply hot, more like "I-look-like-an-idol" hot. He had a black mullet, piercing under his eye, he also had his nose and ears pierced to make matters worse for you he also had most hypnotizing almost feline-like eyes. Honestly you wondered why didn't he become an idol with a face and talent like that. After that one time, he would buy you a coffee whenever he had seen you and you two became somewhat close - you'd swing over his studio when girls had to train and talk about everything and nothing. He told you about his cats, his favorite restaurants, his passion for taking pictures and well you mostly told him about your job since you basically didn't have any private life - it really felt pathetic. He even took your photo once - telling you that the picture would help him later when he would be looking for inspiration (it is a mystery till this day how you haven't fainted that evening). One day you were waiting for girls to finish up their dance practice and fell asleep on one of the benches — it was difficult day for you since you haven't slept for twenty hours already (you had to fight off some crazy sasaengs and didn’t sleep whole night keeping an eye on their dorm — some would say you were overdoing it, but to you members of ITZY were like your little sisters). You woke up in his studio on his couch. He carried you there while you were asleep and tucked you in, covering you with his jacket. You were extremely embarrassed, apologetic and thankful at the same time. He chuckled at you before saying that it was okay and forced you to promise that you'd oversleep to work the very next day. Inha claimed he had a crush on you since he never treated her with the same kindness or anyone really. But you knew better, he was a good colleague. A good, extraordinarily attractive colleague you wanted to kiss and lick and...

"Hello? Earth to Y/N??" your friend snapped you from your thoughts.

"I have to go Inha! Thank you for reminding me! Love you!" You checked the time, there was no way you'd manage to drive girls back, buy a gift, get ready for a party and do all that without being late. You sighed you will have to improvise. You drove off girls and came back rushing straight to your apartment. The party started at 10 PM and you had to shower, somehow fix your sleep-deprived face and figure out how you're going to apologize to Def... You were home a few minutes before 8 rushing into your bedroom - at least you knew what you were going to wear. That would be the most expensive, or more like the only expensive piece of clothing you had — a birthday gift from girls. It was an oversized tuxedo jacket from Alexander Wang and you haven't worn it yet. You tried it on, it had quite deep cleavage, and exposed a lot of your legs, but you figured it would be ok for tonight. You smoothed out black velvety material before stepping out of it. You still had to shower and do your makeup. An hour later you were looking at yourself in the mirror — the mask Inha got you really helped out with bags under your eyes. You did good with makeup as well: it was soft brownish smoky eye, orange toned lipstick and some shimmers here and there — you actually looked healthy and well rested (a true Christmas miracle really). You looked even better after getting in your outfit — Ryunjin was right, the tuxedo like dress fitted your vibe. You even wore some black heels which didn't often happen since you always chose comfort over looks when at work.  

Fortunately you got to the party on time even though you couldn't catch a taxi for twenty minutes or so. People inside were already mingling and drinking, and you decided to grab something to drink before looking for Def. You located a small table with champagne in the corner of the room. You downed two glasses as quick as you got there, and were already grabbing a third one when a voice spoke up startling you so much you jumped a little.

"Rough day?" Defsoul was standing next to you, whiskey in his hand, smirking at you. You immediately blushed and gawked at him. He was so handsome it was simply unfair. This man clearly woke up today and chose violence. He was wearing a silky black shirt — and it was quite unbuttoned, so you had a chance of seeing his broad chest (you were currently having a heart attack), and slacks he also styled his hair so that his forehead was exposed with one defiant streak of hair falling onto his brow bone. You wanted to groan. You fucked up — this could've been your chance to get him to like you more...

"Y/N? Are you alright?" he was genuinely concerned, and here you were, basically salivating and staring at him like a starved, nasty man. That was so embarrassing. You cleared your throat and looked away.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just really tired today..." He smiled at you warmly, and you wanted to punch yourself for not getting him something, anything.

"That's great!" You gave him a confused look, and he bit his lip nervously while scratching the back of his head. He was so cute you could kiss him. Well to be fair you felt like you could kiss him any time. Why...why did you have to forget that bloody gift...

"I mean it's not great that you're tired... It's just… ah, shit I suck at this. Here." He handed you a plastic card, and you read it absolutely puzzled. Lifetime pass for coffee with Jaebeom — it also had a cute chibi character that looked just like Def, except it had some cat ears.

"Now you can get coffee whenever you want. I mean I know you can have it whenever you want anyway, I just thought that maybe you'd like someone to get it with... I mean get it for you… It's ok if you don't like it really, oh by the way I'm Jaebeom, I don't know if I already told you my real name or not…" he was rambling, and you were screaming inside your head. That was so cute. So kind. You wanted to hug him and kiss him so badly. "Ah, shit. I really do suck at this." he said more to himself than to you. You finally looked at him and grinned.

"I love it." you said and his eyes turned into big orbs before light pink colored his cheeks.

"You do?"

"I do. It's a perfect gift." you smiled, your heart swelled with happiness. You could technically go on a date with him whenever you felt like with this handy piece of plastic. That is if he wouldn't start to hate you in the next few minutes for forgetting his present.

"I'm glad." he grinned and it took your breath away. How come he was so perfect? You got even more nervous looking at the gift from him.

"Ah... I was your not so secret Santa as well…" you started.

"Really? So what did you get me?" he was genuinely interested, and you wanted to go back in time and kill yourself for forgetting about this party. You looked up. His eyes were gleaming with curiosity — you were fucked.

"It's me! I'm your gift!" you joked and looked down to cover your nervousness. You were about to say that it was just a stupid joke and apologize before he spoke up.

"I love it." his voice was deeper than normally, and you looked up shocked by it. He was checking you out, his hungry eyes traveling up and down. You've never seen him like that. You could feel warmth spreading on your cheeks under his intense stare, a tight knot forming somewhere near your core in excitement.

"Y-you do?" your voice faltered, and he chuckled while moving closer to you. He smelled musky with a hint of citrus. Your legs were about to collapse under you.

"I do." he hummed he was so close you could feel the warmth radiating from him. His hand brushed against yours as he bent down to reach your ear. You were sure your skin was burning where he touched you. "So, tell me Y/N, when can I unwrap you?" his tone was dark and dangerous and when he straightened up you've seen this gleam in his eyes as he smirked. Your legs felt like made from putty and you'd collapse if his hand weren't already wrapped around your waist. You couldn't believe it was happening. Your heart was beating so hard it was about to spring off your chest — you were wondering if he could hear it. You certainly could even though blood ringed in your ears. You felt your throat going dry and your panties getting moist.

"Def…" you started weakly. Shocked by your own voice — it sounded so needy.

"Call me Jaebeom.." he purred. "Would you like to go to my place? I don't think I can wait any longer to enjoy my gift…" You quavered from excitement, his voice was laced with a promise of sleepless night.

"Yes, let's go." you said and he smiled at you. You were sure you lost any oxygen you still had in your lungs at that moment. His hand left your waist, and you wanted to catch it and wrap yourself with it again. Instead, he grabbed your hand and interlocked your fingers with his, smiling at you sweetly before he led you outside. You couldn't focus on anything else, but his fingers wrapped around yours. His hand was warm, and he held you firmly, his skin soft and delicate. You managed to quickly catch a taxi and through whole drive Jaebeom's hand lazily travelled up and down your thigh. His gentle fingers sending sparks to your core every time he brushed the inside of your leg. You glanced at him, eyes filled with desire — he shivered, and it made you feel a different kind of excitement — you didn't know that you had this kind of effect on him. You got out of the taxi and his hand was instantly on yours, he was almost dragging you skipping every other step as he rushed upstairs to his apartment. He opened the door and let you in. Immediately three cats came in and brushed against your legs. You smiled softly.

"They like you.." Jaebeom murmured against your neck while taking off your coat for you, you gasped at the feeling, and he released low chuckle before he started planting soft kisses against your neck — each time his lips touched your skin your muscles clenched with anticipation. You couldn't wait any longer. You turned around and looked at him, his eyes were glued to your lips and excitement bubbled somewhere below your stomach.

"I waited so long for this..." he started but never got to finish as your lips were on his in a second. Even his lips felt like cotton, and you sighed against him when he kissed you back. He was clearly enjoying slow kisses. You grew impatient once again and licked his lower lip, he gave you access you asked for, and your tongue brushed against his hungrily. You could already feel how wet you were, arousal making your panties stick to you painfully. Jaebeom's hand travelled around your back dropping dangerously low now and then but never grabbing you — you really wanted him to hold you and take you roughly. Once again you grew impatient this night. You took his lower lip in between your teeth, you bit it hard and moaned. That seemed to make him lose his cool, he let out a growl that travelled straight to your core.

"Bad girl..." he said before he turned you around and pushed you against the wall so that your back was facing him. His tongue already on your earlobe, you sighed and shivered when he licked it and let out breaths against wet, sensitive skin. "I wanted to take it slowly, but you're so eager, so impatient…" he was purring into your ear, and you were aching down there more and more with each syllable.

"Jaebeom..." you moaned as you pressed your ass against him. He sucked some breath in when you pushed down against his hard length, his body working on its own accord, one hand already on your hips pressing you harder when the other one cupped your breast. This is not how he envisioned tonight, he thought that he'd at best confess his feelings not have you here crumbling in his hands while moaning his name. Your hips bucked against his by itself as soon as you felt how hard he was. His hand grabbed your clothed breast, and you regretted wearing anything. You wanted to feel him against you naked skin not through layers of clothing.

"Jaebeom-ah..." you moaned his name again, and he rewarded you with sucking on your neck — it was painful yet pleasant, and you almost forgot what you wanted to say before he licked the fresh mark and kissed it. "Didn't you say you wanted to unwrap me?" You said in weak voice still affected by his mouth on your neck. He laughed against your skin, and you thought that's how paradise would sound like.

"You really are impatient... do you want me to fuck you so bad?" he asked rubbing into you, his dick almost in pain from the friction.

"Yes...please..." you panted out, and he let out some animalistic sound upon hearing how needy you were. He made you face him and unbuttoned your tuxedo-like-dress before he tossed it somewhere behind him. You shivered under his stare. He pulled you into him and his hands immediately travelled to your ass, grabbing it and lifting you up without effort. He began kissing your jaw, neck, collarbones, and you tilted your head, so he could have better access. He carried you to his bedroom and laid you down carefully on the mattress before he took a step back. His sheets smelled just like him, and you sighed in pleasure, sinking deeply into his fragrance. He bit his lip seeing you in his bed, wearing nothing but lacy underwear. However, you didn't want just lay and wait, you got up and reached out to his own shirt undoing the buttons hastily, but he didn't let you, he was in control. He held your hands and pushed you back on bed. You bounced and your hair created a sort of crown, spreading around your face — it emphasized your features even more, and Jaebeom felt as if he was making love to some kind of goddess. Your lips, eyes, hair, body everything was perfect. He wanted to taste you already.

"You need to ask me nicely." He smirked at you and you pouted a bit before a mischievous gleam appeared in your eyes. You let one of the straps fall from your shoulder and gave him an innocent look before taking off the other one as well. Just one move and Jaebeom would see your torso naked. He bit his lip unintentionally, when you pushed your breast closer while also moaning.

"Pleeeaaase... undress already and fuck me... daddy." He groaned - you'd be the end of him. He quickly tore any clothes that were on him leaving only his boxers on, and you stared him down hungrily. Saying he was beautiful was and understatement. He was perfect. His skin was light and smooth, it gleamed in the moonlight that illuminated the room through a small window located right above the headboard. It was still dim, but you could clearly see the outline of muscles on his stomach, and a tempting v line, waiting for you to be licked on his abdomen.

"Take off your bra." he ordered and you obediently followed. His eyes devoured your glistening breasts, two darker beads already hard and inviting him in. He licked his thumb and brushed it against your nipple watching intently for your reaction. You didn't disappoint him as you arched your back hungry for his touch. He took another one into his mouth, his tongue making circles around it for what felt like forever. The sound of his wet licks and your quickened breath feeling the silence of the room. You squeezed your legs looking for any kind of release, it didn't help much. Your core was aching and since you could only wait for him to bring you pleasure you closed your eyes and focused only on the sole path of his tongue. It was almost like a torture and Jaebeom seemed to enjoy it greatly, lazy licks, circles around your nipples, blowing cold air on them to hear your whines. And so when he finally sucked on your swollen nipple you moaned his name so loudly his neighbors could hear you. His dick twitched in his boxers. He couldn't wait for much long either, you were the most beautiful person he ever saw, and you were squirming under him, waiting for him to fuck you. He was honestly shocked he didn't take you against that wall in his hall when you pushed your ass against him. He smirked at you, he haven’t even fucked you yet and you were already having this kind of expression. His lips travelled from your breast lower and lower before his face hovered above your panties, hot breath on your wet, clothed pussy sending you almost over the edge. You looked down at him, his eyes were full of lust. He was so beautiful you felt like it was just a dream, not reality. When he pressed his nose against your wet folds you moaned again. He inhaled it a few times as if it was the most ravishing smell in the world.

"You smell so good I might go crazy." He actually was going crazy as his cock let out a bit of pre-cum only upon him smelling your pussy.

"Daddy... please..." you pleaded looking him in the eyes, he couldn't take it any longer. In one swift move he tore the panties off you, they were soaked, and he sniffed them one last time before throwing them out.  He took off his own underwear, and knelt between your legs his cock in his hand already.

"You're so wet for me. Such a good girl, I'm going to fuck you so good." he purred out, and you could go off his words only. He put on condom quickly and teased your entrance before sliding into you slowly. He was watching your face intently as he didn't want to cause you pain.

"Just don't move for a second, you're so big I need to get used to the stretch." It was painful a and pleasant at the same time - the way he filled you up. He didn't buck his hips as you asked, instead he kissed your lips, your jaw, neck, and you kissed him back with passion. Soon he started rocking into you and you moaned into his mouth.

"Harder." you managed to say between the panting and kissing. He straightened up and increased the tempo, sweat building on his forehead.

"Harder..." you said and his hand went to your throat while he almost crushed into you. He choked you lightly, and you felt the orgasm building already.

"Daddy... harder..."

"You dirty girl. On all fours." You obediently followed his order and soon he was fucking you doggy style, his hand spanking you lightly. "You like that? You like when daddy takes you hard?" His voice was so low you shivered under him.

"Yes, daddy." you moaned out when his huge dick filled you with each thrust.

"You're so dirty and good to your daddy. I will reward you and play with your other hole." Before you could say anything he spat on your ass and his finger danced around the other entrance. Just that was enough for you to see white. Your toes curled and your head went back, you screamed his name like it was the only thing keeping you alive, and you could feel how he twitched inside you when you clenched around him in orgasm spasm.

"Y/N, ah... I'm cumming, I'm…" he said through gritted teeth while pounding into you. You both reached your highs and fell onto the bed. He discarded the condom and started kissing your back lazily.

"Do you want to shower together?" he asked.

"Yes, but I don't think I have enough energy to go for another round…" you said while turning his way. He was looking at you lovingly, his expression completely fucked out. He was beautiful, the most handsome you've ever seen him actually. You sighed when his fingers brushed off hair from your face in sweet gesture.

"That's ok, I'll just shower you and we can go to sleep." You nodded, and he took your hand and guided you to his bathroom. He switched on the shower and pulled you under the water when it was warm already. He was so delicate with you, soaping your body, shampooing your head. You smiled at him warmly, and he chuckled.

"You're really cute." he said with a smile after making and weird shapes out of your shampooed hair.

"Stop it, I'll blush." you said while getting under the water, he was quickly spooning you, kissing your back almost with devotion.

"Good, you're even cuter when you blush."

You both towelled yourself dry and Jaebeom even brushed your hair for you before pulling you back to bed. You cuddled your face into his chest and he closed his arms around you. You didn't know if it was one-night stand only, but you'd worry about your possibly broken heart in the morning since his scent was already inviting you to the dreamworld.

You woke up to some rumbling. You opened your eyes and shot up, fear washing over you — that wasn't your bedroom. Memories of last night came next, and you fell back to the sheets squealing quietly into his pillow. That's when the realization hit you. What if it was just one-night stand, and you were rolling around his bed happily in love like an idiot? You sighed but before you could do anything, the man in question came to the bedroom smiling at you warmly.

"You finally woke up sleepyhead." He sat next to you and bend down to kiss your cheek. You looked down. "What's wrong? Have I done something?" He looked concerned.

"I.. no." You said sitting up, and he raised his brow on you. Ugh, he was looking great wearing a plain gray hoodie. You sighed.

"Was that one just for one night? If it was a one-night stand tell me now before I do something stupid."

"One-night stand?" He looked at you offended. "One-night stand?! Do you even know for how long I've been crushing on you? It was few years of my desperate attempts to ask you out, buying you coffee, looking for you constantly. Hell, I even made Yugyeom exchange the stupid lottery draw with me, so that I could give you that card. I actually thought that would helped me out with asking you out. One-night stand?! Jesus, Y/N, he made me basically his slave for a day, and you're asking me if it's one-night stand?" He was angry, and you looked at him shocked, you have never seen him like that. "Do you want this to be one-night stand?!" he raised his voice again.

"No!" you answered him immediately.

"No?! Great, then you can... wait you said no?" He cleared his throat, and you could actually see him smiling like an idiot before he cleared it again. "Well… good because I made us lunch already, and it would go to waste otherwise." He tried to act cool. You giggled at him and pushed him down before sitting on top of him.

"You're cute." You said and he blushed looking away.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. You are the cutest actually." He groaned in response getting even more red, and you giggled once again. It was the first time you got him to blush so much, usually it was just light pink appearing on the apples of his cheeks. You kissed his face leaving pecks all over it, he chuckled before speaking again.

"I don't want this to be one-night stand. I like you I was actually planning on asking you out yesterday."

"You were?"

"I was. So would like to go out with me?" he wiggled his brows at you and you grinned before nodding.

"Mmm. I'd love to." you answered and he pulled you for a lazy kiss.

"Come, I prepared some food for you. It's hardly festive, but it's something"

"I'm sure it's great. I just need to put something on myself first."

"You can have my hoodie and sweats." he said while looking through his cabinet. "Here." He handed you clothes and blushed once again mumbling that he will wait for you in the kitchen. He got embarrassed — that was just too cute.

You slipped in his clothes, his smell wrapping around you. You got out of the bedroom only to be greeted by three cats purring and brushing against your legs. You smiled and petted them, scratching them on their chins. Jaebeom was just standing and staring at you, still not believing his luck. You were wearing his blouse, it was hanging on you like a dress basically and his heart ached at this picture. You looked up and grinned.

"They like me!"

"I'm pretty sure they're going to like you more than they like me." He chuckled. "Now come, let's eat."

You nodded and entered his kitchen, there was kimchi jjigae and rice prepared for both of you. You smiled and sat down already salivating because of the delicious smell.

"Merry Christmas Y/N." He said looking up from his dish.

"Merry Christmas Jaebeom." You smiled at him lovingly. "So what did Yugyeom made you do?"

"Don't even ask." He said and you giggled. Let's just say you didn't get to spend the Christmas break alone in the bed like you wished.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝘼𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙯: 𝘼𝙘𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙂𝙁 𝙃𝙖𝙨 𝘼 𝙆𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙎𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙚

❥𝐾𝑖𝑚 𝐻𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑗𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑔

"I know it's your job honey.....but I'm really not sure how to feel about this..... I'll support you no matter what though..."

You shook your head and held Hongjoong's hands in your own, running your thumbs across the top of his knuckles in a gentle motion.

"I know it's not easy Joong...but thanks for understanding." You smiled at him.

Pouting, he asked.

"Promise you won't fall for your co-actor?"

Chuckling you kissed his pouty lips. "Impossible when I've already fallen for you."

That comment made Hongjoong smile again....even if he was pouting once again after the showed aired and your kissing scene was trending all over. You came to visit him at the studio, food in hand for him and Eden, who had gotten used to having you around.

"Hi Y/N." He greeted you.

"Hi Eden- nim. Hongjoong?"

Hongjoong merely sat there, arms crossed as he glared at the screen in front of him.

"He's been like that all afternoon. I think you should do something." Eden decided it was his cue to leave for a couple minutes.

Tapping his shoulder, you called out to him again.

"Kim Hongjoong?"

He startled you by spinning around and facing you, suddenly blurting out:

"You're still interested in me right?"

Which caused you to burst out laughing.

❥𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑤𝑎

Maybe if you had told Seonghwa beforehand that you were going to have a kissing scene, everything would have been better. But you were busy with filming and he had to practice endless hours for their upcoming comeback that it was difficult to even talk for 5 minutes and it completely slipped your mind.

So one day, you came home and where you were surprised to see Seonghwa standing there, arms crossed as he tapped his foot on the floor.

"Oh Hwa! Didn't expect you here." You said.

"That makes two of us who weren't expecting things." He huffed out.

You raised an eyebrow at him.

"What are you talking about?"

Seonghwa tilted his head, his voice full of passive aggressiveness as he said:

"I'm talking about this!" He held up his phone, showing a screencap of you kissing your co-star.

"I take it you're not happy?" You asked him.

Seonghwa scoffed before letting out a dry laugh.

"Oh no! Of course not! I'm totally fine with someone else exchanging saliva with my girlfriend." He replied sarcastically, holding up his phone again.

You cringed. "Stop the sarcasm. It's only cute when Yeosang does it."

"Oh! So now even Yeosang is cuter than me?!" He exclaimed.

"Park Seonghwa, stop this nonsense before I throw your lint roller in my cat's litter box."

❥𝐽𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑜

You felt Yunho shift awkwardly next to you, his hand reaching for some of the popcorn that was in between both of your bodies.

"Yunho, you know it's not necessary to watch it if you don't want." You reminded him, knowing what scene was about to come up next.

Yunho immediately plastered a smile on his face.

"No honey! It's ok. I'm your big, supporting boyfriend who will cheer you on no matter what!" Lifting his fists up, he tried to show enthusiasm, but you could tell he wasn't being genuine.

Yunho glued his eyes back on the tv, one of his legs nervously swinging back and forth. He seemed to be doing fine during the whole confession scene, but when you and yours co-star kissed, he accidentally swung to hard that he ended up hitting the coffee table in front of him. You were about to check up on him, thinking he got hurt, but he just started laughing nervously.

"I'm ok! Just a muscle spasm." He joked.

You never took your eyes off him, knowing that beneath that smile, he was feeling sad and rather insecure about you kissing someone else. You were happy he at least tried to be happy and supportive of you, but you also knew you hated to see him upset.

Sitting up, you turned off the tv and then scooted closer to him. Leaning in, you placed a soft kiss on his lips, making sure to give them one quick peck before pulling back.

"I love you my not so little pup." You giggled at him as he blushed and looked down shyly.

Yunho turned back to you before pushing you down on the couch, pressing you against his back as he wrapped his arms around you.

"I love you too Y/N. And you really did do amazing."

❥𝐾𝑎𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑒𝑜𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑔

"Yeosang!"

Seonghwa shouted at him when he didn't answer for the 6th time.

"Huh?" He merely took a 1 second glance at the older male before gluing his eyes back on the tv.

"We can change it to something else-"

"No! I will watch it!" He exclaimed, surprising everyone at how loud he got.

"Yeosang....bro.....if you're not ok with this, it'd be better if you don't watch it." His longtime friend Wooyoung advised him.

"I'm ok! I'm totally fine! Just peachy." He picked up his boba tea and began sipping it at a rather fast pace, his eyes squinting at the tv in front of him.

The other guys looked amongst themselves, trying to decide to let him be or change it. Hongjoong ultimately told them it was Yeosang's call and therefore, they watched the rest of the drama.

When your character got kissed, Yeosang halted his sipping, eyes focused on the screen. The other guys tried not to say anything, but when the kiss got a little bit more heated, San couldn't help but let out a "ooooh" while Jongho covered his eyes and made a gagging noise.

Meanwhile Yeosang spat out the leftover liquid into his cup.

"I'm not ok! I am not ok!"

Standing up, Yeosang retreated to his bedroom, where he proceeded to crawl under the covers of his blanket and start groaning dramatically.

Getting up and following him, Wooyoung shook his head as he dialed your number.

"Ok, so your kissing scene broke him. So you better come over with some fried chicken and fix him or else I'll make you pay for making me deal with him if he's not repaired in 2 hours."

❥𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑖 𝑆𝑎𝑛

As soon as San heard rumors that you were going to have a kissing scene, he immediately called you to make sure they were lies.

"NOOOOOO!!!"

He screeched when you indeed confirm there'd be a kissing scene.

"I'm totally against this! I will not allow this to happen."

You asked the boys to keep him from coming over to the set, but unfortunately San was a cat that could easily slip unnoticed. So you were only made aware of his presence while you were in the middle of shooting your kiss scene because while you and your co-star were leaning in, you heard an extremely loud cough from behind you, which unfortunately got recorded.

"Cut!" The director yelled.

You turned around and nearly flipped out when San merely greeted you with a wave, as he simultaneously glared at your co-star. You spent about 10 minutes trying to shoot the same scene, only for it to be ruined every time due to San's antics. He'd either pretend to sneeze really loudly, push off certain props that made loud noises, even messed around with one of the ropes that sent a sand bag catapulting down the ceiling, nearly injuring your co-star.

"Oops. I just wanted to see what that lever did." He smiled innocently.

Having had enough, you grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out, all while he cried for you to stop in a high pitched voice.

"Listen here Choi San, this drama is supposed to be my big break and I will not have you ruining it for me, got it?!" You warned him.

San merely nodded with a pout.

"Please just don't enjoy it."

Rolling your eyes, you pecked his lips.

"Dopey cat. I only enjoy your kisses."

❥𝑆𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑀𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑖

The other guys began laughing as Mingi stared wide eye at the tv in shock as he watched you lip lock with your co-star.

"Mingi! Calm down bro!" San clapped like a seal, dying from laughter.

"It's only acting." Yunho patted him on the shoulder.

Mingi looked back and forth at the tv and them.

"Please tell me there's new technology that edits kissing instead of actually having people physically do it."

His sentence only made them laugh even harder, while he just sat there, pouting intensely. He continued pouting even after you came over to spend time with him. At first you thought he just had a bad day or missed you a lot more than usual. He was clinging onto you even more, his arms instantly wrapping behind you, face hidden on your neck as he nuzzled his nose against your skin. Every time you pulled him off because you needed to go somewhere or get something, he'd follow behind you, linking pinkies with you or holding onto your arm. Then when he began pecking your lips at random times, you knew something was up, which didn't take you long to figure out.

"You saw the scene didn't you?"

Mingi immediately nodded, huffing softly as he cuddled up to you, resting his head on your stomach. You chuckled and ran your fingers through his hair.

"Mingi if it makes you feel better, I thought of you while filming it."

Although he didn't say anything, you knew he was more than likely grinning like an idiot in love.

❥𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑊𝑜𝑜𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔

You really did try to keep Wooyoung from finding out about the kissing scene, even going as far as asking the guys to distract him from watching your drama. But Wooyoung was smarter than you thought.

"There's something she doesn't want me to see. Isn't there?"

So the boys had no choice but to sit there and watch your drama with Wooyoung. He just sat there, straight face throughout the entire thing. But when you kissed your co-star he got the biggest smirk on his face.

"Oh.....so that's what you didn't want me to see." Wooyoung already began thinking about how to mess and tease you with this information, which was exactly the reason you didn't want him finding out in the first place.

As soon as you walked in your apartment, Wooyoung switched the lamp on and turned around in his chair, arms folding across his chest.

"Welcome home cheater."

At that point, you knew you were screwed. And he made sure to milk it for days. If you tried to hug him, he'd squirm out of your embrace. And if you tried to kiss him, he'd turn his face away and say:

"No! I'm not kissing you with that dirty, lying, cheating mouth of yours."

You had enough one day when he refused to cuddle with you though, so you opted for a different option. Getting up, you went over to his room, Wooyoung barely paying attention. When he heard Yeosang scream, he turned his head and watched him run out.

"Please just show your crazy girlfriend affection! She crawled into my bed and attempted to cuddle me!" Yeosang shivered from the physical contact.

Getting up, Wooyoung stormed over to the room.

"So now you're gonna be replacing me with my best friend?! Nuh uh! Come here so I can cuddle you!"

❥𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑖 𝐽𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑜

"Jongho, remember....stay calm." Hongjoong reminded him.

"Hyung...please. I'm mature and understand this was strictly professional. I'm not going to get mad." Jongho rolled his eyes at the leader.

"Ok, just in case though."

Yunho and Mingi proceeded to sit on opposite sides of him on the couch. Jongho merely scoffed.

"Wow so much for having faith in me. Some older brothers you guys are."

It was good of them to take precautions. Jongho tensed up when he saw your kissing scene, which then turned to outrage when he saw how your co-star's character deepened the kiss and made it even more steamy.

"Hold the fuck up! I thought this was just supposed to be a tiny kiss..."

He glared at the tv, as if trying to set it on fire.

"This is a fucking makeout scene!"

Unable to contain himself anymore, Jongho yelled as he got up from the couch, Yunho and Mingi immediately holding him back from destroying the tv or any other furniture within his reach.

"Guys be careful! He's loose!" San exclaimed as he climbed on top of the couch, Wooyoung following suit.

"Seonghwa! Get some apples for him to relieve stress and anger!" Hongjoong ordered as he attempted to calm Jongho down.

Meanwhile Yeosang just sat there quietly, munching on one of his chicken drumsticks, watching the chaotic scene unfold. Shaking his head, he picked up his phone and called you up.

"Your boyfriend's gone feral. Do you want to come tame him or can I call animal control to come take care of him?" He asked.

"Seriously Yeosang? You're an ass. I'll be there soon." You sighed as you hung up, making a mental note to yourself to pick up all of Jongho's favorite foods.

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.