#no one can stop me tho

[vacantseance]

I'm here to be cremated.

[drabbles-mc]

This week has been a little nutty and fairly stressful.

Am I coping by online shopping??? Perhaps.

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[thenearsightedmicroraptor]

Seen a lot of posts about people coming into your notifications out of nothing and liking your entire blog, but here's a shoutout to the people who do Not follow you, who appear out of nowhere, reblog One (1) post that you are Not the op of, and then you never see them again. Where did you come from girl.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

psa that the day there are no jgy stans left on tumblr dot com is the day i am dead

but rest assured i'll go to my grave exactly as i lived: obnoxiously proclaiming to everyone within earshot how great lianfang-zun is. narratively, metaphorically, spiritually. sexually, too, like why limit myself. i like to keep my options open

[princemonarchempress]

another Sunder doodle page... Doodle page 1

Moment of silence for the tiny Isa and Sif looking cute that the bottom blushy pulled down hat Loop was supposed to be thinking about that I accidentally erased and didn't notice until this morning.

[wizardlyghost]

thing about deltora quest that only occurred to me in hindsight is not only just how much jasmine carries the entire party on this quest but also how genre-defyingly brutal she is lol. like, this is a kid's series that hinges on riddles and puzzles far more heavily than combat - even when deaths occur, they're often the result of cleverness in some way rather than straight up combat ability. that said, let's look at the villain kill count at the end of book five of eight of the first series:

- lief: 1 - even there it's with a well-thrown bottle of cursed water rather than his sword.

- barda: 0 - i'm not counting that one unnamed sand beast, that's an animal not a villain.

- filli: 0 - he is a squirrel, this is unsurprising.

- kree: 1 - killed an invincible sorceress all by himself, good bird best friend.

- jasmine: 5 - dropped a tree branch on a mf, drowned two cannibals in quicksand, cut a giant snake's throat, shoved a dude down a pipe full of toxic mold (after having to be told not to cut his throat while he slept jfc).

idk it just suddenly struck me as really funny how this one character who isn't the protagonist is almost from a different, far more brutal story, and uses that fact to consistently be the mvp and save everyone else's asses. i need to read this series again it's been too long.

[lupismaris]

It is something devastating and truly divine to walk through a gallery of christian art only to be faced with the first trans masc body I've ever seen on the wall of an art museum

Wildling Shadow Boxing, 2020, Elle Perez Devotions, Baltimore Museum of Art

[3-aem]

gojo has been sealed and is also ded so i now officially don’t even know what jjk is about anymore and if you think i’m gonna try, ur wrong about that, call me when he’s alive again or don’t call me at all

[obihoe]

i think it is also rlly interesting the way madara always projects his rage only onto hashirama ... like when izuna dies. and the clans meet on the battlefield again. madara goes apeshit but NOT at tobirama. his rage is very pointedly directed at hashirama .. even tho tobirama before asks him abt what has happened to izuna. madara says that he died from his injuries and then fires up his susanoo and attacks hashirama .. while screaming his name. like ... something something violence is an outlet for him and a way for him to make his feelings be heard and understood by the other party. and he wants hashirama to understand him. whether tobirama understands him or gets what is coming to him or whatever for killing his brother doesnt matter at all. all he wants is for hashirama to see his rage and his grief .. and understand what he feels

[shima-draws]

Reading a fic where child Luffy gets kidnapped by Doflamingo and he refers to Cora as "pretty Mingo" I'm MFASMKDALKS

[dizzybizz]

😀 i love setting out to draw 1 character multiple times but ending up drawing multiple characters 1 time instead 😀 i love it so much 😀

[theloveinc]

It's a little bit further into your relationship with art student!Bakugo and you've been working together now for the good portion of two semesters...

Except for whatever reason, your professor assigns him a different model for the upcoming final, and when you go to look for him after class (since at the announcement, he stormed out of the room in frustration, slamming back his desk and knocking over the overflowing recycling bin by the door), you find him weeping in frustration in the janitor's closet next door adhfnlkjadshfk

[antianakin]

It's really depressing that the only real Jedi centric and Jedi positive show in existence is written for preschoolers, while many of the more "adult" shows are edgy and about morally ambiguous or straight-up evil characters. As if lessons about being kind and selfless are somehow not important or relevant to adults just as much if not more than they are to children.

It feels like characters who are unambiguously good are seen as only enjoyable by the very young and adult viewers will only actually appreciate characters who are cruel and selfish (and the requisite "tragic backstory" that always goes with it to help excuse their cruel and selfish choices).

It's just really sad and disappointing.

[himbionn]

Bet you can’t guess what I finally watched.

[purplink8]

Hate to burst anyone's bubble but I don't think L would've revealed his face to Light if the latter wasn't Kira. The Kira case was the only case in which L shows his identity to anyone besides Watari because it's the first time he (and his authority) has been challenged like this (with the majority of the Japanese task force leaving since they can't trust L coz of the FBI incident).

If Light weren't Kira and went on to become an NPA officer like his father, he might work with L on some cases together but that doesn't mean L would've revealed his identity to him, however intelligent this particular NPA officer may be.

Like I ship Lawlight very much and I'm not (in this post, that is) referring to anyone exploring the idea of non-Kira!Light with L in their AUs as bad (I like those AUs too), but let's remember that it wouldn't be plausible if we're going by canon. Even if Ohba said somewhere that they'd work together if Light weren't Kira, I'm sure he didn't mean working together as in face-to-face.