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segadores-y-soldados · 6 years

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Retribution and Reapercussions

A follow-up to “Long Reasons Not to Trust Moira in Retribution”, “A Clash of Kings,” the post about the declassified Blackwatch memorandum on Venice, a post about Overwatch and Blackwatch investigating their own organization, “The Immortal Soldier?”, and other essays. The ones linked above are the most important at the moment.

McCree: Did you even consider what was gonna happen before you pulled the trigger? Reyes: I made a decision - I’ll deal with the consequences. McCree: What, like gettin’ the four of us killed? Reyes: That’s not going to happen.

---

McCree: How are you gonna explain this to the Strike-Commander? Gabriel: You let me worry about what Jack needs to know. McCree: You know you can’t shoot him. Gabriel: No, but I could shoot you.

McCree: Our target was dead, so I guess he got what was coming to him. But still…it didn’t seem right. But that wasn’t the end of our problems: for the first time, people knew we were out there. New faces stepped up to fill the void in Talon. And I can’t help but wonder…if that’s where it all started to go wrong.

“Long Reasons Not to Trust Moira in Retribution” covered a lot of the evidence, ideas, and possible hypotheses that went into creating “the perfect storm” of the Venice mission, where different ideologies, motivations, personalities, and perspectives collided and struggled with one another for the “fate” of Overwatch and its narrative control.

In that essay, I touched on some of the consequences of the mission, but not in full detail. This post will likely be the first of several that pull together what we know occurred after Retribution in the Overwatch timeline, and how several of those things might fit together. It’s going to build on what was written in “Long Reasons,” so yes, hypotheses on top of hypotheses/analyses.

The Immediate Aftermath: minutes to several days (?) after Retribution

Three major things happen in the immediate aftermath of the Venice mission, likely within minutes to hours of the dropship returning to the Overwatch headquarters in Switzerland:

1. The debriefings: the four main agents involved in the Venice mission - Gabriel Reyes, Jesse McCree, Genji Shimada, and Moira O’Deorain - are debriefed on the mission, mainly by Strike-Commander Jack Morrison (although possibly with Captain Ana Amari and BW agent Gérard Lacroix present as well).

2. The Venice memorandum: as a result of the debriefings, Gérard Lacroix prepares a three-page memorandum that has (for “us the audience”) been mostly declassified. It covers Antonio’s profile, the events of the mission, and the main Talon paramilitary operatives (the four “minibosses”). Plausibly missing (or still “classified”) from the mission are potentially further pages of the memorandum or an entirely separate document dealing specifically with:

Moira.

3. Blackwatch’s suspension and an internal investigation: likely, as a result of Moira, Blackwatch is suspended - either by Jack Morrison himself or by “higher ups” in the UN. At minimum, the suspension lasts from the ending of the Venice debriefings to the events of Null Sector’s uprising the following year. However, it is very likely the suspension was never formally lifted between “Retribution” and the fall of Overwatch (roughly a 2-year time period).

And, contrary to what people might think -

Blackwatch’s “suspension” means next to nothing in the interal workings of Overwatch.

Because the straightforward “truth” of the situation is that -

Blackwatch’s “formal suspension” was essentially “for show.”

...You could even call it a “masquerade.”

(A LOT more under the cut. Seriously. Like. Imagine if we had all this information in like, book format or something. Wouldn’t that be wild. Maybe I wouldn’t have to write all of these then.)

Because what a lot of people miss

Is that it is very likely the suspension and internal investigation of Blackwatch and/or Overwatch was conducted so Jack and Gabriel could begin the process of identifying corrupted Overwatch and Blackwatch agents - a.k.a. Talon agents who have infiltrated the organization -

And start removing them from Overwatch in...some way.

And it is very possible

That “Reaper” is still conducting this process in the present-day of the Recall era.

To recap:

Jack: Alright, Gabriel. Start from the beginning Gabriel: We arrived in the Venice safehouse and set up surveillance on the manor. We executed our plan, under cover of darkness. …You sure you want to hear about this, Jack? Jack: You haven’t left me much choice. Gabriel: What ever happened to ‘plausible deniability?’ Jack: Little late for that. Tell me what actually happened. Gabriel: Haha, well, Jack - that’s one hell of a story.

(source)

The original mission objective - as described by both Gabriel’s comic and McCree’s narration - was to infiltrate Antonio’s compound in Rialto, secret Antonio to a secure location, and get intel on Talon from him. In fact, McCree himself originally wanted to “[send] a stronger message” to Talon by killing Antonio, but Gabriel tells him to calm down because Antonio’s information is more important to Blackwatch’s and Overwatch’s goals than his death (as shown above).

Again, this original objective is reaffirmed by McCree’s narration, as well as Gabriel’s debriefing, McCree’s debriefing, Genji’s debriefing, and several interactions during the course of the mission.

However, when the Blackwatch team enters Antonio’s office, they have a surprise waiting for them:

Antonio has been expecting them.

And he is completely unfazed by the “threat” of his arrest.

When all the context clues and pieces of evidence are put together, then what happens next is that Gabriel realizes -

His new agent and “doctor” - a scientist he personally recruited, likely to cure his “condition” -

A “cure” which Gabriel has been hoping for for decades -

Has betrayed him.

Gabriel let his emotionality, hopes, dreams, and idealism walk him and two agents into a trap -

And not with Antonio -

But with Moira.

When it comes to tactics, strategy, and stealth, Gabriel Reyes might be the most intelligent, methodical, critically-aware character in the current “universe” of Overwatch. He’s certainly among the top few for it: he is credited with leading the original Strike Team - a task force of only five known individuals - with stopping the global robot apocalypse. He has canonically outsmarted machines and “God AI”. While we don’t know his pre-Overwatch military background, we do know (based on Soldier’s Commando skins) that he was probably in a branch dealing with special operations and unconventional warfare of some sort. Following the ending of the Omnic Crisis, Gabriel Reyes successful led Blackwatch - Overwatch’s covert operations division - for twenty years before Overwatch was formally disbanded.

He may not be able to build a Tesla Cannon

But Gabriel Reyes is pretty goddamn smart.

And when “we the audience” realize that Gabriel Reyes is, essentially, the only person fully aware of all the information he has given Moira or let her “experiment” with -

Then it is honestly not all that surprising that Gabriel rapidly figures out what has happened in Antonio’s office.

In Antonio’s office, Gabriel knows:

1. Jesse McCree - however mad or upset or resentful he can get - is a loyal and just individual, and that he has been working in Blackwatch under Gabriel’s orders for about twelve years at that point.

2. Even if he is new, Genji Shimada legitimately does not know who Antonio is:

Genji: Who was Antonio? Gabriel: He’s an arms dealer, with some…other interests - more and less legitimate. McCree: …Not anymore.

Genji is also deeply angry and actively loathes criminals. He would not join Talon.

3. Only two other people “outside that room” were even aware that the Venice mission was happening, and they were: the pilot who brought them to Venice and then was put on stand-by, and Jack himself. However, neither of these two individuals knew the details of the mission, and therefore could not have betrayed the team to Antonio.

4. Blackwatch had snuck a surveillance device into Antonio’s office, and yet Gabriel rapidly realizes that they have obviously missed something super important (e.g. a “double-agent”), so clearly significant conversations between Antonio and certain other people could not have occured in his office. This means Antonio had been warned to avoid using his office.

Moira: I wouldn’t describe this as ‘light resistance’…quality intelligence we received. Genji: It makes no difference to me. Moira: …How droll. McCree: Aww, even though we snuck that surveillance system into Antonio’s office, our intel’s a little spotty. Genji: Next time, you should leave it to me. I can spy upon our enemies - unseen…and undetected.

5. Therefore, there is only one other person who: 1) knew the details of the mission, 2) knew that Antonio’s office was bugged, 3) was “new enough” to Blackwatch that Gabriel could not logically verify her “loyalty” to the division or to Overwatch as a whole, 4) was already ethically compromised or ambiguous in her research, and 5) who had enough of Gabriel’s own emotional trust and vulnerability that he could’ve let himself get blindsided by her actions or promises.

However, Gabriel also realizes something incredibly crucial:

Moira is the only member of the four-person Blackwatch team capable of healing others.

The only way McCree and Genji are getting out of Venice alive is if Moira cooperates with them.

Remember: Gabriel Reyes is one of the smartest characters in the Overwatch universe -

And he realizes that he has to play a very delicate game here:

He cannot let McCree and Genji die.

He cannot get them out of Venice without a healer or medic.

He is a battle-hardened soldier, a good commander, a great tactician, and probably a semi-immortal wraith, but he himself cannot kill people fast enough to protect McCree and Genji.

Therefore:

He cannot let Moira realize that he has figured out what she has done.

And to top it off -

Antonio would just be “dead weight” to his team in a critical “survival and escape” mission (especially if Gabriel has also realized that Talon agents have no qualms about betraying each other either - using Antonio as a hostage would be a moot point if the first Trooper just shoots him).

So -

Might as well make that “dead weight” literal, right?

Since the mission has been compromised well before it ever began, there’s not really “a point” in trying to maintain its already-nonexistent integrity.

What Gabriel needs to focus on now is getting McCree and Genji to safety while keeping Moira along and encouraging her to remain compliant with the team.

The latter part means “playing up” his role as a commander going renegade.

So Gabriel puts on a masquerade.

“Reaper” is both a medical condition that affects Gabriel’s state of being and a persona - semi-“masked” and semi-genuine - that he “wears”.

Gabriel uses both “halves” of “Reaper” when situations call for it.

In fact, it is not surprising that the “personality” that Gabriel displays throughout the Venice mission - an interesting “contrast” of flippant, sarcastic casualness and humor mixed with bursts of honesty and loyalty -

is effectively the same “mask” he “wears” years later, after the fall of Overwatch.

Because “Reaper” - the condition, the “masquerade”, the persona, the “ends justifies the means” morality -

all work on tricking Moira.

Moira: You did what needed to be done, Gabriel. Don’t apologize. Gabriel: I never have, and I don’t intend to start now. Someone has to be the one to get things done.

---

Moira: Antonio was right about one thing: you will take the blame for this. Gabriel: Always have. I don’t need the statues and medals anyways.

---

Moira: Well, that was certainly a decisive solution to the Antonio problem. McCree: It’s not how we do things! Moira: Well, it seems we’ve had a change in methodology. McCree, muttering: ...A little too much change.

---

Moira: How are you feeling, commander? Gabriel: Fine! No ill effects so far. Moira: ...Let me know if that changes.

---

Gabriel: Am I the only one who feels hungry? Moira: That could be an unintended side effect... Gabriel: ...I was making a joke.

---

Gabriel: Enough art! Let’s get out of here. McCree: Never had the eye for it anyways. Moira, muttering to herself: ...Philistines.

Almost all of Gabriel’s interactions throughout “Retribution” make a lot more sense if you see it as him putting on an invisible “Reaper” mask and “hamming up” his part: he goes out of his way to “egg McCree on” as a distraction for Moira, letting both Moira and McCree think that the “schism” between the commander and his agent is “getting to them.” Almost all of Gabriel’s “edgy, sarcastic, or borderline insensitive” jokes have strong parallels to his present-day Reaper persona:

---

Reaper, killing an enemy Soldier: 76: This is how it should have been. Reaper, killing an enemy Sombra: Actions have consequences.

---------

McCree: I thought we were agreed, commander: snatch and grab, that’s it! Gabriel: Antonio was right, there was nothing we could do to him. Now, he’s not our problem anymore. McCree: Something tells me that won’t be the case.

--- Reaper: Try to stick to the plan, Sombra. Sombra: Look, someone has to be ready when all your careful planning doesn't pan out.

---

Reaper: Looks like we're working together again. Widowmaker: Let's hope it goes better than the time at the museum.

---------

Gabriel/Reaper’s music and pop culture references:

Gabriel: I still think we should’ve gone with the original plan of disguising ourselves as the band. McCree: Do you even play an instrument, boss? Gabriel: Not well. McCree: Pssh, details.

---

Reaper: I’m back in black. Reaper, Mariachi skins: First you listen, then I kill.

---

McCree: Looks like they’ve brought in the heavy-hitters. Gabriel: Yeah, they’ve really rolled out the red carpet.

---

Reaper: If it lives, I can kill it. (Original quote: Predator - “If it bleeds, we can kill it.”) Reaper: I’m not a psychopath...I’m a high-functioning psychopath (Original quote: BBC Sherlock - “I’m not a psychopath - I’m a high-functioning sociopath.”)

---------

“Masquerades”:

Gabriel: It’s not exactly Carnevale McCree: You serious? Gabriel: I was looking forward to the masquerade! McCree: Fair enough.

---

Soldier: 76: Well, you sure take to this bad guy thing easily, don't ya? Reaper: And you sure know how to play boy scout.

---

Reaper: Poor Winston. Has to hide away so he doesn't scare the children. Winston: I don't even think children are afraid of you.

---

Sombra: What are we doing today, Gabe? You don't mind if I call you 'Gabe' do you? Reaper: Stick to the mission.

---

Reaper, Nevermore skin: (upon an elimination) Nevermore. Reaper, Pumpkin skin: Must have been the costume. Reaper, killing an enemy Sombra: You never fooled me. Reaper, killing an enemy Winston: Still trying to play “hero”, monkey? Roadhog, killing an enemy Reaper: Nice mask. Ana, killing an enemy Reaper: I don’t even know you anymore.

---------

“Reaper” in the Recall era frequently goes out of his way to make dry remarks or does something seemingly “aggressive” (especially with Winston) just to make people angry. He does it so often and so frequently - often “failing” missions as a result - that it’s honestly suspicious. Regardless of who knows that “Gabriel is Reaper”, “Reaper” is supposed to be a fearsome, powerful mercenary, yet mission after mission that he is put on fails.

And yet...“Reaper” is still part of Talon.

In fact, only one present-day Talon member -

finds “Reaper” and his actions...suspect.

Moira and Akande, on the other hand -

don’t.

Or rather, if they do find him suspicious, they aren’t letting on about that, or seem to think that Reaper’s abilities and skills are more important than his trustworthiness (again, this is also based off the idea that Akande possibly does not know who “Reaper” is, but only sees him as a powerful mercenary who is...struggling to enact Talon’s vision).

What “Retribution” shows us is that Moira appears to buy into Gabriel’s “change in methodology” motivation and mission objective as being genuine, or at least being something she can use, aggravate, or “experiment” with. She frequently encourages Gabriel’s “aggression,” or amps up McCree’s anger, or reassures Gabriel that his decision was correct.

However, this factors into our analysis of the first set of “consequences” for the Venice mission:

The Debriefings

When the Blackwatch team returns to the Swiss Base, ostensibly, the first thing conducted is the set of four debriefings.

These are both “consequences” of the Venice mission and also insights into what happened during it. For the debriefings, we have five main audio recordings: the trailer dialogue between Gabriel and Jack, and the four “twitter” teasers.

Which means we start with:

(source)

Gabriel’s debriefing

Based on the Retribution trailer and on chain of command, Gabriel would’ve probably been the first person debriefed by Jack.

Gabriel: And what about them? We can’t walk away from this, Jack. Jack: We won’t but we have to be smart about it. I’ll open an official investigation on Antonio with the Italian government. We’ll do this by the book.

What’s important to remember here is that Jack was aware the mission was occurring, even if he did not know the full details. In fact, Jack originally wanted to start an “official investigation” into Antonio’s dealings, but was persuaded to let Gabriel try his Blackwatch, off-the-books mission first.

Jack could not “officially sanction” the mission as Overwatch’s Strike-Commander, but as Gabriel’s friend and his oldest and longest companion (in whatever...relationship terms you wish to think of that as, lol) - and as a former “special operations” soldier himself - Jack understood and personally approved of Gabriel’s desire and intentions for the original mission objective (grabbing Antonio for interrogations). He did have a few qualms - on a personal, heart-to-heart basis - about the safety and security of the mission, but not of the intentions of the mission itself.

Jack: Gabe...I can’t officially sanction something like this. Gabriel: Not officially. No one will ever know Blackwatch was there. Jack: I’ll leave the final call to you, but ask yourself...In the long run, will this help Overwatch keep the world safe?

What the last line by Jack shows us is that Jack trusted Gabriel and his judgment on the mission, no matter what exactly he chose to do. This aligns with Jeff Kaplan’s description of their relationship prior to the fall:

“Reyes was relieved that Morrison had to have the more political role, and [...] it’s always easier being the number two guy because you’re not ultimately accountable for all that, Reyes was kind of, you know, in some ways thankful and relieved, um, and weirdly, we’re gonna show how that relationship actually was Morrison’s downfall because for so long, Morrison would actually defend Reyes’s questional actions.”

(source) In fact, it is heavily implied that Gabriel’s discussion with Jack is both his motivation and temperance:

His motivation to actually conduct the mission -

And likely his “temperance” to show restraint and opt for capturing Antonio instead of outright “stopping” him.

So we have to keep these things in mind:

Jack knew the mission was occuring - just not the nature of it, nor the details - but to Jack, those details originally didn’t matter so long as Gabriel was level-headed, made critical, tactically-sound decisions, and helped keep “the world” safe. After all, Jack knows how smart Gabriel is.

That gives us significantly more context for this conversation:

(source)

I will readily admit that I have my own biases in this interpretation (no shit, right?), but to me, Jack doesn’t sound...angry. Or bitter. Or even all that upset?

He sound frustrated at times, especially with the “Tell me what actually happened” part, but neither man sounds...truly angry with each other.

Just that - quite simply - a mission “went awry,” and now the two of them -

The two halves of Overwatch and Blackwatch embodied -

Have to figure out the how’s, why’s, and “what happens next”.

Hell, Gabriel even gives Jack a chance to claim “plausible deniability” of the situation (for himself, not for Gabriel) by teasingly implying that Jack should back out of the conversation and effectively “save himself” from the...repercussions that will happen from the mission. But Jack proceeds to see Gabriel’s debriefing (and the others) through, committing himself to supporting Gabriel and listening to the story.

I think that...perceiving Gabriel’s debriefing as some sort of “scolding” or “chastisement” or “talking to” reduces what is actually being implied here by the comic and the audio clips. The conversation is short and snappy for two reasons: 1) it’s a trailer (the “no shit” reason) and 2) Gabriel and Jack have known each other and been together for over twenty years by the time of the Venice mission (math: at Recall, the Omnic Crisis was “thirty years ago.” Subtracting eight years for the mission leaves us with 22 years total).

The audio - though obviously a trailer - is short and to-the-point, though it has pepperings of Gabriel’s nonchalant humor (“plausible deniability”, “one hell of a story”) and Jack’s dry patience (“Start from the beginning,” “little late for that”). Hell, it even (very briefly) gives Gabriel a quick moment of tenderness, when he asks, “...You sure you want to hear about this, Jack?” (again, his attempt to let Jack “walk away” from the mission and its potential consequences).

It’s true that we are obviously missing the main chunks of Gabriel’s debriefing (for narrative/story purposes because the game wants you to realize that Moira is shady on your own, even if you don’t fully believe the “Talon double-agent” theory). But again, this audio clip, the conversation in the comic, and hell, even their future conversations:

Soldier: 76: Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Reaper: Didn't take.

Soldier: 76: One of these days someone is gonna to put an end to you.

Reaper: I invite them to try.

Soldier: 76: Well, you sure take to this bad guy thing easily, don't ya?

Reaper: And you sure know how to play boy scout.

All show us a sense of familiarity, companionship, humor, patience, even trust and loyalty between Gabriel and Jack throughout Retribution (and - depending on your stance on their Recall-era relationship - possibly even “trust” and “loyalty” then as well).

So what needs to be realized is that when Gabriel makes statements like this:

Reyes: https://twitter.com/PlayOverwatch/status/982317009777123328?s=19

"We followed the original plan and infiltrated the manor. From there, I evaluated the situation and made my decision - and I stand by it. When you're on operation, things don't always go according to plan."

He is not necessarily angry, or defiant, or defensive of his actions. He is making a statement that Jack understands - Jack understands Gabriel’s character, his motivations, his beliefs, his personality, his personal background. In fact, of the people present during Gabriel’s debriefing:

Jack is arguably the only person present to fully understand Gabriel in this moment.

Which is - in my opinion - exactly why Jack looks so upset here.

He trusted Gabriel.

Not just with this mission.

Not just with Blackwatch.

But with something far more important than either of those:

Gabriel himself.

As I wrote in “Long Reasons,” I believe Jack and the other members of the original Strike Team (Ana, Torbjörn, and Reinhardt) knew about Gabriel’s medical “Reaper” condition:

After all, Gabriel Reyes had been their commander during the Omnic Crisis.

But more importantly -

Gabriel Reyes had been Jack’s commander since before they even joined Overwatch together, and Gabriel has been his companion for twenty-two years since the war started.

We know that Gabriel very much fears or worries about being “left behind” - especially by Jack. During “Old Soldiers,” he claims that Jack abandoning him is the reason he is “this thing” (a.k.a. “post-explosion Reaper”).

And - if you believe “Long Reasons” - Gabriel’s “fear” at the time of Retribution wasn’t a question of trust and loyalty -

But one of physical and medical problems:

That Gabriel “Reaper” Reyes had to consistently and constantly think about his friends and companions dying without him.

And that he didn’t want to be “left behind” -

Even by Death itself.

What Moira represented to Gabriel was a chance to be “cured” of his “curse”, free to finally live a normal life - and eventually, die a “normal death” with his friends and companions at his side.

And Jack...

Personally, I think Jack wanted Gabriel to be cured from his “curse” too - even if that meant understanding that Gabriel could face a different sort of “consequences” for his decision to be “de-wraithed.”

However, Jack is Gabriel’s calmer, more patient, more contemplative “half” - it’s part of what makes them a great pair and helps Overwatch function.

So we need to consider that if McCree, who at the time of “Retribution”, was hasty, borderline hotheaded, and ready to “dispense justice” with a bullet -

If McCree has this to say about Moira in the Recall-era:

McCree: Always thought hiring you was a mistake.

Moira: The best mistake one could ever make.

Then what the hell did “Retribution-era” Jack say about her recruitment?

Because what do we know about Jack and Moira?

“We stand on the brink of a breakthrough in human evolution. I have dedicated my life to unraveling its secrets. I take risks that others would consider to be ‘unwise,’ for I do not share their caution. Overwatch held back the pace of scientific discovery for decades. They believed my methods were too radical… too controversial…

“And they tried…to silence me.”

- Moira, Origin Story (source)

Reading between the lines -

Jack, and probably some of the different science divisions of Overwatch, shut down Moira’s personal or private lab.

Again, as I wrote in “Long Reasons”, this is likely because Moira was conducting unauthorized and unethical experiments on human clinical trials - first on herself, and then possibly on other people. After a certain point, Overwatch - led by Jack Morrison, as usual - stepped in and stopped her.

And this, of course, is my argument for why Moira has her own personal “retribution” to enact on Blackwatch and Overwatch to begin with - along with helping bring down or disband the organization to permit more unrestricted freedom in scientific experimentation and “progress.”

So Jack probably had some pretty significant qualms about hiring Moira - a scientist who was already unethical, already controversial, and already bitter with Overwatch - to cure Gabriel’s condition.

However, canonically, Jack loved Gabriel (again, in whatever way you choose to interpret Jeff’s statement on that).

And he probably wanted what was best for Gabriel.

And so he trusted Gabriel to make the necessary “final calls” about himself and his own health.

After all, during “Retribution”, no one knows Gabriel, his intelligence, his abilities, and his motivations better than Jack.

And Jack trusts his “Commander Reyes” to make the decisions he needs to: for the world, for Blackwatch and Overwatch, and for both of them on a personal level.

Yet - for what might be the first time in their shared history together -

Gabriel’s judgment and his decision-making abilities have failed him - have failed them both.

And this is the real tragedy of “Retribution”:

It is not Gabriel’s trustworthiness, nor his “rogue” or “maverick” attitude, nor his “ends justifies the means” morality, nor even his covert ops divions that has “betrayed” him. These things “betray” him in the public’s eyes, but not in Jack’s. Because what cuts the deepest between Gabriel and Jack in the consequences of Retribution is that something else “betrayed” them:

Gabriel’s hope.

Overwatch’s greatest strengths and virtues - its love, its optimism, its sense of justice, its motivations, its hope - are also its greatest weaknesses.

Because for the first time, someone has realized that hope can be used against critical, crucial people within Overwatch -

Allowing them to be undermined...and weakened.

“…But there were others in the shadows, searching for ways to circumvent their rules. Freed from my shackles, the pace of our research hastened - together, we delved deeper into those areas forbidden by law, by morality…and by fear.”

- Moira Origin story (source)

As I wrote in “Long Reasons”, this is not the image of a man who looks angry, or upset, or defiant, or defensive of his actions. Gabriel looks solemn, arguably even worried or conflicted, as Jack appears to be getting more and more emotional or frustrated. And the other two expressions we can see - Ana’s look of intense concern and McCree’s scowl - only seem to heighten what is probably happening here:

That the person - the scientist, the doctor, the hope - that Gabriel had put his trust in had betrayed them.

Betrayed Blackwatch and Overwatch, yes - consequences of which would be severe and long-lasting for everyone: for Blackwatch, for Overwatch, for Talon, for different companies and organizations, for the entire world. The repercussions of Gabriel’s trust in Moira would have a ripple effect - propagated by the Venice mission - that would eventually change history.

But also that Gabriel’s trust in Moira had betrayed them, on a personal, heart-to-heart level:

An emotional debriefing?

Yes.

But not necessarily out of anger or questions of mistrust.

But instead - quite possibly - a discussion of hope and love, betrayed.

And god, how good she must feel, how satisfied with herself - to have repaid them in kind, to have enacted retribution upon them -

An eye for an eye -

Hope betrayed for hope -

to lose everything they had worked so hard for -

just like they had tried to do to her.

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

- Moira, looking at the Earth through the telescope on Horizon Lunar Colony (original quote by Oscar Wilde)

Moira’s debriefing

McCree: https://twitter.com/PlayOverwatch/status/983147489921503232?s=19

"Everything was going according to plan. We were going to get in, grab the target, and get out. ...But then all hell breaks loose - it was like the whole damn city was trying to kill us."

Genji: https://twitter.com/PlayOverwatch/status/989172208852389888?s=19

"We were supposed to get in and out, unseen and undetected. Commander Reyes changed the plan. Survival became a primary concern."

I’m going to semi-incorporate McCree and Genji’s debriefings into this section. It’s not that they are unimportant - they provide us with “neutral” perspectives through which we can experience and interpret the events of the mission. The game pushes us to sympathize and “favor” McCree’s perspective by switching to his narration at the beginning and end, and by making him the most “vocal” member of the team with the most “easily unlocked” voicelines and interactions.

As I wrote above, it makes more sense (to me) to interpret Gabriel’s actions and often “tonally-conflicting” dialogue (jumping from jokes and humor to true honesty to “pushing the envelope” too far) as a masquerade and a balancing act: he has to be “honest enough” to keep McCree focused and “loyal” throughout the mission (not that he expects McCree to suddenly desert them, but that he needs McCree to “stay on target” and get out alive without doing anything “stupid”). However, Gabriel also has to be “edgy enough” - through tactless jokes, sarcasm, and nonchalance/casualness - to keep Moira “entertained” by the mission and make her think that her experiments and her “role” in Blackwatch has started to chip away at his trust in Overwatch.

Again, much like McCree, what Moira probably doesn’t realize is that Gabriel’s trust and loyalty to “Overwatch” is far deeper and far more central to his motivations and personality than anyone (except probably one person) knows:

What McCree and Genji’s perspectives help show us is that: if Gabriel doesn’t “brief” one of his most trustworthy agents (McCree) or one of his best “assassins” (Genji) about his personal relationship and private, heart-to-heart discussions with Jack -

Then why would he ever tell Moira about them?

So we can infer that, much like McCree, Moira is unaware that Jack not only knew about the mission, but that he had given it his personal approval (paired with some personal caution) and was at least semi-aware that Blackwatch was going to be making some sort of moves in Venice.

So - much like McCree - Moira, as smart and as observant and as methodical as she is - probably has the same assumptions that Overwatch (specifically Jack Morrison) 1) will be furious about this mission and its results and 2) will attempt to “blame Gabriel” for what happened.

In fact, she says as much in the event:

Moira: You did what needed to be done, Gabriel. Don’t apologize. Gabriel: I never have, and I don’t intend to start now. Someone has to be the one to get things done.

---

Moira: Antonio was right about one thing: you will take the blame for this. Gabriel: Always have. I don’t need the statues and medals anyways.

However, again, she says these things without realizing that Gabriel already knows the basics of Jack’s stance on the mission. Gabriel can anticipate that Jack will be upset, yes, and likely that individuals like Ana and Gérard and possibly even Reinhardt and Torbjörn will get “brought in” to debrief, discuss, and analyze the situation, but Gabriel already knows that Jack has personally approved of the mission and has almost certainly approved missions like assassinations or “snatch and grab” ones in the past.

Venice isn’t a new “song and dance” for Gabriel and Jack because it “succeeded” or “failed” -

Venice is a new “song and dance” for Gabriel and Jack because their greatest strength - their hopes and their relationship - has been compromised by Moira herself.

In fact, by the time the dropship picks up the Blackwatch team in Venice, Moira is very gleeful that (she believes) she has effectively gotten away with murder (and by “effectively” I mean literally. She literally got Antonio to die. She also lost a lot of her Talon “experiments” in the process, but those are...small prices to pay).

Fio: Commander, I have visual on your position. I’m coming in for a landing, but it’s gonna be a little hot. Gabriel: Everyone, get ready to get on-board. McCree: ‘bout damn time. Moira: ...I eagerly anticipate the debriefing on this debacle.

But at the same time, Moira is way too goddamn smart to incriminate herself in her debriefing. We the audience have to recognize that even if we believe Moira has achieved interesting “results” from her little “experiment” of pitting Blackwatch against the then-new Talon army, she is still smart enough and cautious enough to protect herself when she returns to her real “den of lions.”

https://twitter.com/PlayOverwatch/status/990259344867553281

Moira: It felt like they had an entire army after us. The situation was highly dangerous, but the commander made the tough decisions, kept us on mission, and we got the job done.

And from the small clip we get, we can see that she covers her tracks well.

Remember:

What Genji’s debriefing shows is that - like Reyes and McCree - he is maintaining “his perspective” of the Venice mission. Everything he says in the audio clip (the focus on how Reyes “changed the plan”, and Genji’s hyperfocus on “survival”) is comparable to stuff Genji says in the mission itself: that he approves of Reyes’ decision, that he simply wants to get out of Venice alive, that he doesn’t care much about the details of Talon’s “army” (which is in contrast to McCree’s intro, outro, and debriefing audio).

This reaffirms Genji’s “trustworthiness” as an unreliable narrator and a “witness” in our conspiracy-murder mystery-spy thriller story.

The purpose of the debriefing audio clips are two-fold: 1) to help advertise the event and build hype for it from beginning to end (the “no shit” reason), and 2) to show us that three out of the four characters - though “unreliable” - maintain the integrity of their “stories” before, during, and after the mission.

And that one character “does not” - at least, not “perfectly”.

With three of the characters - Gabriel, McCree, and Genji - we can see a consistency to their “stories” (even if Gabriel fluctuates in tone and seriousness from time to time). McCree also has his narration to help “confirm” his perspective - if he is telling “a lie”, then he’s been maintaining that “lie” for years. Considering his character and his post-fall focus on redemption and justice, that is at odds with who McCree is.

And again, “we the player” can double-check Genji’s trustworthiness by unlocking his interactions in the game, where we realize 1) the surveillance system “missed its mark” (and makes us question how Antonio knew about it), 2) Talon had attempted to recruit Sojiro Shimada but neither Sojiro nor Genji liked the organization, and 3) Genji has a deep, deep hatred and anger towards all “criminals” - he would never join Talon.

We also learn that, despite what was implied by Genji’s Hero Profile, he did not actually agree to become a heavily-augmented cyborg solely to seek revenge on Hanzo.

Instead, Genji chose to become a heavily-augmented cyborg - in pain and agony, both physically and existentially - in order to walk again.

Therefore, “we the player” and Gabriel simultaneously realize that - even if we doubt Genji’s loyalty or motivations due to how “new” he is in Blackwatch - he would never be persuaded to join Talon solely for revenge.

So - much like how one particular character contrasted with the other three during the mission (in dialogue, in tone, in motivations, and in “trustworthiness”) - that same character has subtle contrasts with the others during her debriefing.

Breaking down Moira’s statements, we find a few interesting contradictions:

Moira: but the commander made the tough decisions, kept us on mission, and we got the job done.

Gabriel: When you're on operation, things don't always go according to plan.

McCree: Everything was going according to plan. We were going to get in, grab the target, and get out. ...But then all hell breaks loose.

Genji: We were supposed to get in and out, unseen and undetected. Commander Reyes changed the plan.

Bolded here for emphasis, we see that Moira’s story differs from the other three on two key points: the idea that Gabriel “kept [them] on mission” and that “the job” was somehow completed. The other characters, however, distinctly emphasize that the mission objective was changed, lost, or “reevaluated” (e.g. that the mission switched from secreting Antonio out of Venice to survival and extraction) from the very beginning. “The job” was ruined from the outset. In fact, McCree has a very angry triade against Gabriel near the end of the mission where he yells that “[Blackwatch] had a plan” and that their near-deaths and brutal fight for survival was “[Gabriel’s] fault.”

Instead, Moira’s debriefing is - very subtly - the opposite. She starts by talking about how “an entire army” was attacking them, and that “the commander made the tough decisions” but somehow kept them “on mission” and “got the job done.” At no point does she ever mention how the situation turned critical, or that the original mission objective was lost or abandoned or changed, and she is the only character “satisfied” with Gabriel’s actions at the end of her debriefing.

Not even Gabriel himself sounds “happy” about it.

Reyes: https://twitter.com/PlayOverwatch/status/982317009777123328?s=19

And who is sitting in the room as Moira is saying this? Who already knows Gabriel’s version of the events and very likely knows what she has done?

Jack Morrison.

Mister post-fall “I don’t play by the rules anymore”, “an eye for an eye”, “someone will put an end to you” retribution renegade himself.

When Gabriel himself admits that he changed the mission objective because “things don’t always go according to plan”, then Moira’s calm statement that he “kept us on mission and we got the job done” is suddenly very suspicious.

But this is where things get...murky again.

We don’t know what happens to Moira as a consequence of this mission, and her role in it.

Not directly.

But we can begin to hypothesize a few things:

Her employment was a closely kept secret, until it was uncovered during inquiries following the Venice incident. Many high-ranking Overwatch officials disavowed all knowledge of her affiliation with them.

Despite what the Hero Profile implies, this is not about Jack Morrison. This is, instead, very likely about members of the UN or the “organizing” aspect of Overwatch, like Director Petras and his staff.

Instead, we know where Jack Morrison’s loyalties stand - they stand with Gabriel.

After all, when Gabriel gave Jack the chance to bow out of the consequences and claim “plausible deniability,” Jack chose not to. And we know Jack would defend Gabriel’s decisions right up until the fall.

However, Overwatch found itself in yet another bind:

Arresting Moira would almost certainly result in more retaliation by Talon, either violent ones like another explosion, or political ones, like someone high-ranking or well-moneyed securing her release.

In fact, it is not a coincidence that we see both Akande and Maxmilien here, in the near aftermath of the Venice mission. Maximilien has the power, money, and connections to get people out of jail.

Akande, of course -

Can literally get himself or anyone else out of prison.

So even though Overwatch and Blackwatch don’t know this for certain, considering Antonio’s confidence, and Moira’s incredible cunning and intelligence, then they can probably pretty quickly surmise that - if arresting Antonio was a “bad idea” - then outright arresting Moira would be significantly worse.

However, on a personal level, Jack and Gabriel have something “far more important” to worry about:

Gabriel’s “cure.”

If they release Moira, they run the risk of losing something Gabriel has been hoping for, possibly for decades.

And it is important to remember that - in the present day, after Recall - “Reaper” does continue to work with Moira, specifically on finding this cure for his condition. Even if Reaper has infiltrated Talon and aims to destroy it from the inside out, I believe he genuinely wants to be freed from his “curse”, and that he believes Moira is the only person capable of doing that.

I covered this in “A Clash of Kings”, but on the flipside of this, Moira’s biggest “loyalty” isn’t to a single organization or cause or ideology.

It’s to her research.

And Gabriel’s condition is her research.

It is in Moira’s best interest not to lose Gabriel, just as much as it is in his best interest not to lose her.

But what is worth those trade-offs - both then, and “now”?

In the present, I personally think Moira would let Talon fall if she thought her research was once-again jeopardized by being associated with it. If her choice came down to keeping Gabriel/Reaper alive to continue researching on him, or supporting Akande and his war, we actually know (in theory) which side she would pick:

Michael: Moira is a scientist. She is not so much interested in conquering the world, even though she has allied herself with people who might have proclivities in that direction. She is really just into the actual science. She wants to understand the fundamentals of human life, and how they can be manipulated. She is a geneticist, and that is her primary goal, and that is all she wants. But the thing that makes her villainous is that she doesn’t quite have like some of the morals that the rest of us have. Yes, she is very flexible. She doesn’t want anything to get in the way of her science. So when someone tries to stop her from doing something, or tells her that she needs to take more time, she has no patience for that.

(source) (emphasis is mine, and does not reflect his actual tone)

Just as easily as Moira could undermine Blackwatch for her own goals (unrestricted experimentation) during Retribution, she could undermine Akande if she thought him and the rest of Talon could harm Reaper or send him “running.”

(And, in my opinion, this is a “plot twist” waiting to happen - where Reaper either reveals himself to Talon to attack them, or begins the process of conducting a coup in Talon, and Moira must “pick a side.” Alternately, by the time that “plot twist” happens, Moira may have enough “resources” to conduct her own research without Reaper, thus leaving Reaper isolated. We will have to see.)

At the time of the debriefings, Moira has achieved incredible leverage over Overwatch and Blackwatch - or, more specifically, Gabriel and Jack.

She knows it.

And they know it too.

However, Moira very likely doesn’t know three important things:

The first: that Gabriel has told Jack (and Ana, Gérard, and McCree) that he believes Moira betrayed Blackwatch.

The second: that Jack knew about the mission, and while he might be upset with Gabriel for the current situation and consequences, he loved Gabriel.

So Moira doesn’t fully realize the “depths of that relationship” between Jack and Gabriel, and what one is willing to do for the other...or what lengths they are willing to go to protect each other.

The third: that despite Jack’s patience and his ability and willingness to balance all perspectives and ideologies in a difficult situation -

His “true colors” show when he believes fairness, equality, and justice have been “broken.”

That underneath the “masquerade” of the Strike-Commander hides a soldier who is just as motivated, just as critical, and just as capable of waging unconventional “warfare” as his old “commander”.

Even before the Venice mission, Jack is willing to use unconventional tactics and strategies - like Blackwatch, like “off the books” missions - to help protect the world.

Jack and Gabriel have always represented two halves of a single whole:

And they have always worked together to achieve what they needed to do - for Overwatch and Blackwatch, for the world, and for each other.

Jack believes in “retribution” just as much as Gabriel does, except that - prior to the fall of Overwatch - he was willing to let Gabriel run his Blackwatch missions “solo” so to speak, trusting Gabriel to handle his own division’s matters and organization (as I wrote above).

However, now that Blackwatch has been compromised -

And Gabriel’s greatest secret - and his greatest hopes and fears - have also been compromised -

Dealing with the real “threat” behind the Venice mission and all its consequences is going to require something with a little more...depth to it.

Soldier: 76: Well, you sure take to this bad guy thing easily, don't ya?

Reaper: And you sure know how to play boy scout.

Gabriel and Jack know (with a lot more certainty now) that Moira does not like Overwatch, nor that she trusts the organization or its members. She is too smart and too cunning to reveal herself and her goals to Jack, who represents everything she hates about Overwatch.

But keep in mind -

Moira: You did what needed to be done, Gabriel. Don’t apologize. Gabriel: I never have, and I don’t intend to start now. Someone has to be the one to get things done.

---

Moira: Antonio was right about one thing: you will take the blame for this. Gabriel: Always have. I don’t need the statues and medals anyways.

Moira appears to buy into Gabriel’s rogue, renegade “Reaper” persona - she appears to believe Gabriel is undergoing a change in personality and motivations, and she also believes that Gabriel will be “resentful” of taking “the blame” for what happened in Venice.

And so, a “dual” approach towards Moira may be enough to convince her to “trust” Gabriel to a degree, especially if he manages to get her to believe that he hates Jack.

So - much like Retribution shows us - it’s very possible that Gabriel “puts on the masquerade” of “Reaper” again to encourage Moira to 1) cooperate with him for his “cure” -

and 2) to give him greater intel and access into Talon.

This also essentially binds Moira’s alliance to Gabriel because, as described a few times, she is far more invested and loyal towards her research and her research subjects than anything else. Talon is merely a mechanism for her to help her reach those goals.

So while we don’t know for certain where Moira goes or what exactly happens to her between her debriefing and the fall of Overwatch, we know that - based on her present relationship and working “alliance” with Reaper - Moira probably achieved some sort of “mutally beneficial” research agreement with Gabriel, where she was possibly allowed to continue her experiments on him while believing she was undermining his relationship with Jack and Overwatch.

What Moira may or may not realize is that this also works exactly how Gabriel “Reaper” Reyes wants it to:

That if Talon is working to destroy Overwatch and Blackwatch from the inside out -

If they are going to attempt to hurt everything he has ever worked for -

Or harm the people he loves the most -

Then he is going to repay them in kind.

An eye for an eye -

An explosion for an explosion -

And a war for a war.

Now -

Is that what Jack Morrison also wants?

We don’t know for certain but...

The soldier who emerges from the “ashes” of Overwatch sounds more like Gabriel Reyes in motivation, dialogue, power, perspective, and morality than ever before.

This isn’t a new “song and dance” for them either.

Jack plays “the hero” - or the “renegade vigilante” in the spotlight. Gabriel plays “the villain” - or the “ruthless mercenary” in the shadows.

And together -

They are uprisings and retributions.

However, in the immediate aftermath of the Venice mission, Jack and Gabriel still have...well -

They appear to still have some hope that Overwatch and Blackwatch can be salvaged from Talon’s grasp and the consequences of the mission.

But in order to do that, they have to “put on the masquerade” of trying to play “by the rules” again:

The memorandum, Blackwatch’s suspension, and the internal investigation

As part of Gabriel’s debriefing, Gérard Lacroix - who is present during his discussion with Jack and Ana - prepares a three-page memorandum on Antonio, the mission (both the original objective and the actual events), and the Talon paramilitary units that the Blackwatch team encountered.

And - if you believe the hypothesis that Moira was already a Talon agent and the one who sold out Blackwatch to Antonio and his forces - then it’s pretty clear that that particularly significant detail is not present on the memorandum.

Like the rest of the Retribution content, this is partially for story-telling purposes (i.e. “how ‘boring’ would it be to reveal to the audience that Moira was the double-agent in a written memo?”) in the real world, and - in-universe - also partially to maintain the huge secret that Moira was a double-agent from leaking to...other people, who were probably significantly less trustworthy than the people pictured below:

As I wrote in “Long Reasons,” we know that Gabriel, McCree, and Genji are all still “active” in Overwatch about a year after the Venice mission, as all three of them are present during the events of Null Sector’s uprising. And - as I theorized above - it’s likely that some level of “(mis)trust” was maintained between Gabriel and Moira following her debriefing, because Gabriel’s “actual secret” (his Reaper condition) was not immediately leaked to the public or “used” as blackmail by Talon in the Venice aftermath. These two things show us that - to some degree - the truly controversial part of “Moira’s employment” (her double-agent status) was preserved as a secret somehow.

Ostensibly, it was “covered up” and “buried” by the four people present in Gabriel’s debriefing (Gabriel, Jack, Ana, and Gérard), with McCree’s loyalty winning out over his sense of justice (in this moment, at least).

This “cover up” was - on the surface level - to help maintain Moira’s cooperation towards finding a cure for Gabriel’s condition, and to prevent her from ousting Gabriel as a semi-immortal wraith to Talon, or the UN, or the world.

But on a “deeper” level, this was likely a way for Gabriel to preserve a working “professional relationship” with Moira to not only encourage her cooperation with him, but also to get him some sort of access into Talon.

And if the Venice mission was “off-the-books” -

You can sure as hell bet that “Reaper’s mission” was likely never put in writing.

If Gabriel is “going deep undercover” as Reaper into Talon, then both Overwatch and Blackwatch cannot jeopardize his mission by writing it down or documenting it. After all, what the Venice mission showed the leaders of Overwatch was that -

The information “internal in the organization” could very easily be compromised or revealed to Talon.

Who knew information or intelligence what Moira had leaked to Talon?

After all, the memorandum shows us that Moira had not only sold out the Venice mission to Antonio -

She had also used Gabriel’s biodata and repurposed it for Talon’s “army”.

With the declassified memorandums, we can now analyze this (original post):

“Enforcer”: Elite operators within the Talon organization appear to possess genetic and cybernetic augmentation that make them extremely dangerous in combat, particularly in close quarters.

“Assassin”: Like the enforcers, Talon’s assassins possess enhanced speed, stealth, and balance and have proven extremely elusive, as their movements are near impossible to track.

“Sniper”: Amongst Talon’s assassins, their snipers are particularly notable killers. They are equipped with top-end military optics and targeting systems, that have made them frighteningly affective in taking out high-priority targets around the world.”

"Heavy Assault”: Believed to be the products of extensive genetic engineering, these elite troopers employ an extremely powerful exoskeleton and stimulants to increase their combat effectiveness.

Critically important (as I outlined in the first post on the issue) is that all four of the different paratrooper types are either directly described as having genetic modifications, or are implied to. “Enhanced” in Overwatch’s in-universe terminology means genetic augmentation.

In fact, though it does not say the word “genetic”, the Assassin’s description mirrors another description very closely:

Before long, [Jack Morrison] earned a coveted position in the government's controversial and still-classified (but widely acknowledged) "soldier enhancement program." Military scientists shaped Morrison and other inductees into the perfect soldiers, blessed with superhuman speed, strength, and agility.

(source)

This is the key takeaway from the “declassified” memos: nothing major was revealed in the writing itself (e.g. it does not say and never was going to say that “Moira O’Deorain betrayed the mission”), but instead, all the contextual writing implicates Moira’s involvement with Talon. Especially important is the way the descriptions of the different paratroopers mirror the “enhancements” that characters like Gabriel and Jack had received in the Soldier Enhancement Program -

Information which Gabriel had trusted to Moira in order to help her find a cure for his SEP-caused condition.

The memorandum was not written to document the exact words of Gabriel’s debriefing - doing that would immediately put everyone in much greater danger. Instead, the memorandum was written just to document Antonio’s background and profile, the exact events of the mission, and the descriptions of Talon’s paramilitary soldiers. Most memorandums - even classified ones - are sent to other people, or send “upwards” in an organization to help inform people “higher up” on the chain of command on a certain situation or information.

So everyone knew that the Venice memorandum would get passed to people who probably were not trustworthy.

Instead, the most important parts of Gabriel’s debriefing either couldn’t be written down at all, or had to be written and then immediately stored in a truly safe, truly secure location.

(In ARG terms, the Overwatch “Archives” are - 100% - not the place to do that. In fact, Michael Chu jokingly hinted that Sombra is the one “unlocking” the Archives material for the world to see. While it’s possible we will see the full consequences of Moira’s role in Blackwatch in a later, playable event, I’m more inclined to believe that - like the “truth” of Retribution - that “plot twist” will be revealed in such a way that the player has to “put the pieces together” for themselves.)

This means that - whatever the four people present in Gabriel’s debriefing decided to do -

They knew they couldn’t write it down.

They also realized that - on top of not being certain what information has been compromised -

They also don’t know who has been compromised within Overwatch and Blackwatch.

However, this creates a bit of a problem:

How do they help maintain Gabriel’s secret - and also maintain Moira’s cooperation - without risking either of these “secrets” falling into the “wrong hands” -

Whether that is Talon’s:

Or...something much bigger’s:

I do not think that they completely realized how “deep” the “conspiracy” goes - not in that moment.

But I think they understood the gravity of the situation:

That it had the potential to go much, much deeper than “just Moira.”

McCree’s ending narration effectively implies this:

Antonio and the “ousting” of Blackwatch in the public gaze were, quite frankly, insignificant compared to the much, much deeper problems that the team were unearthing as a consequence of the Venice mission:

Moira

Her use and repurposing of Gabriel’s biodata

The development of the highly-augmented, highly-enhanced, highly-genetically modified Talon army

The leaking of Blackwatch intelligence and mission objectives to Talon members

And the realization that it could all be much bigger than a single “double agent”.

Once again, Overwatch and Blackwatch would have to take a “dual” approach:

Open an official investigation into their own organization to appease both the United Nations and the inevitable public outcry -

While permitting only the people and agents they trusted the most to continue to work.

Blackwatch’s “suspension” was an immediate and hypothetically effective way to “freeze” all assets - both the ones compromised and uncompromised - to permit Overwatch to investigate both the division and its larger self.

What’s interesting about all of this is that - despite the mission not “going according to plan”, despite Gabriel choosing to get rid of Antonio, despite Moira’s betrayal, despite McCree’s anger, despite Blackwatch being suspended -

“Nothing” happens.

Blackwatch’s suspension is - like all the other parts of these “repercussions” - a masquerade.

A show put on for the United Nations and the public...and also for Moira and Talon.

In fact, if you compare Gabriel in Uprising - where he clearly continues to work as he always has - to his dialogue in Retribution, you get the sense that he actually already predicted this:

Moira: You did what needed to be done, Gabriel. Don’t apologize. Gabriel: I never have, and I don’t intend to start now. Someone has to be the one to get things done.

---

Moira: Antonio was right about one thing: you will take the blame for this. Gabriel: Always have. I don’t need the statues and medals anyways.

---

McCree: Is this what we’ve become, Gabriel? Gabriel: Blackwatch has always had one purpose: to do the real work of keeping the world safe. I thought you had the stomach for it. Looks like I was wrong.

Gabriel has no intention of “apologizing” for what happened with Antonio because he already knows that Moira and Talon are the bigger issues, and that he will be able to convince Jack, Ana, and Gérard of the “real threats” plaguing Overwatch. He doesn’t mind “taking the blame” for the Venice mission because - in comparison to the scope of Overwatch getting disbanded or Talon harming Overwatch agents - that’s an incredibly small price to pay. He’s never needed “statues and medals” - representations of the world’s admiration or respect - because they have never been his motivation in life:

When we frame Gabriel’s dialogue and interactions in Retribution against both Uprising and his present-day actions as “Reaper,” we find the implication that he’s actually perfectly okay with Blackwatch getting suspended as a consequence of his actions in Venice.

Because instead, he stands to lose things that are significantly more important in his life and his heart of hearts than a covert ops division:

His “hope”.

And someone who is a constant companion and a constant reminder of his “other half”.

That someone who is worth more to Gabriel than the world itself:

In fact, Blackwatch getting suspended may be the best “consequence” Gabriel could ever ask for. If it helps him convince Moira that he’s “feeling abandoned” by Overwatch and the UN, then Moira might be more easily persuaded to continue to cooperate with him. At the same time, because Jack doesn’t actually care about the suspension, nor does he actually take any effort to enforce it on Gabriel, McCree, and Genji, Gabriel is able to continue his own operations, sending McCree into the field to investigate Null Sector a year later. It also permits Gabriel to conduct his own internal “investigation” into Overwatch and Blackwatch agents, trying to sort out which ones have been “corrupted” by Talon, or which ones are already Talon agents sent to infiltrate the organization.

And for a time, it looks like this “plan” might actually work:

That things regain some...normalcy.

That Overwatch and Blackwatch - Jack and Gabriel - are able to flip this “debacle” (as Moira called it) into a situation they can actually use and salvage. Sure, Blackwatch takes a hit, and Overwatch’s social trust begins to unravel in the public’s gaze (and in the United Nations’), but again, these are small sacrifices to be made if they can actually weed out the root problems of Talon and the much larger conspiracy beginning to take shape. Overwatch has been through the greatest war humanity has ever seen - it has helped fix and repair the world in the ashes of the Omnic Crisis. It has made medical and scientific breakthroughs. It has not only won peace in the war, but also made it and helped protect it.

So long as it comes out of the Venice incident able to still do those things - all while combating Talon at its core - then it can still be worthwhile. It can still be valuable and meaningful.

And “hope”

can continue to operate as it always has.

But what they don’t realize in the immediate aftermath of Venice is that:

They are not the only ones dealing with the “consequences” of Moira’s actions and Gabriel’s decision.

And that their subsequent decision to suspend Blackwatch - either to appease the UN, or to stop Talon agents from infiltrating the division, or both - will have its own consequences.

Because it forces Talon to use...different tactics to undermine Overwatch.

Overwatch’s greatest strengths are its virtues: love and loyalty, hope and heroism, courage and compassion.

And these are also its greatest weaknesses:

“Hope” can be undermined and betrayed.

And the others?

Love and loyalty?

Just like Gabriel’s powers, those other virtures can be stolen, reconditioned, and “repurposed.”

Moira and Talon’s first set of “experiments” were not able to kill key Blackwatch members in Venice.

But their next “experiment” -

will not miss her mark.

In the next part: the “immediate” consequences of the Venice mission in Talon, which looks at Akande’s rise to power and the creation of Widowmaker.

Along with some...potential, time-traveling sabotage.

250 notes · View notes

isa-ly · 3 years

Text

PROJECT NO CONTROL

TW: therapy, mental illness, anxiety, depression, control issues, One Direction

As you have probably noticed by now, I take trigger warnings quite seriously, as I believe that it’s not only important to give people the chance to prepare for or avoid certain content, but also think that it is a good way of showing that one takes the mental health and wellbeing of others seriously.

Which is why I included One Direction up there, because if anyone who has been part of this fandom will probably remember, Project No Control was one of the most insane and traumatic incidents to ever happen on this platform (Tumblr, that is). Although, I guess the trigger warning is kind of useless in this case, since it only comes after the headline of today’s entry. But hey, I tried.

Anyway, enough about One Direction (is what One Direction also said, five years ago ... still going strong on that “hiatus”, huh guys?), let’s move on to what I want to talk about today. The last couple of posts were definitely not all easy to write, as I shared some things that only the closest of my friends knew about me so far. In a way, simply putting them on this blog doesn’t feel as big of a commitment (remember the one about dumping your problems on social media? Yeah, that’s kind of similar to this) but it also doesn’t leave me completely cold. After all, I’m not just chucking out one sentence about how I’ve been crying into my pillow all day, but instead actually taking the time to elaborate on my feelings, and by doing that, trying to make more sense to myself and actually work through my issues.

Another part of this whole blog idea, was to not exactly know who was going to read it. While all the things I share on here are written and edited by me, the whole compromise lies in letting others read them too. And sure, those are mainly the people who follow me on Instagram (hi, there), since I’m not really influencer enough to have random folks read it, but even that causes me to feel a little bit uncomfortable.

Because I can’t monitor who sees it, I can’t access what people think of it and I’m simply not in control of what happens once I post something.

Ah, yes.

Control.

The little word that not only dominated Tumblr back when those five British guys were still world-wide sensations, but that also seems to dominate my entire life. Only that I didn’t really know that until a few months ago.

I briefly mentioned it in my last post when I talked about slithering into my quarter-life crisis, which resulted in my anxiety and panic attacks, as well as a mean depression and my low-key burn-out. Anyway, back to the topic of control. I told you the story of how, back in autumn of 2018, I had suddenly and for the first time in my life, found myself in a situation where I was completely out of control in almost every aspect. I had realized that what I was doing and studying, was slowly turning out to be a huge disappointment and even worse than that: I had no idea what to do about it.

Sure, I could have dropped out right there and then. But that wouldn’t really have made things easier, as I still had absolutely no clue what I would have done next. I had no back-up plan, no safety net. Well, I mean of course I had a metaphorical one – that being all my friends who I’m infinitely thankful for – but I still wouldn’t have known what to do with my life in general, had I simply quit university.

This, in addition to the fact that my parents weren’t quite as supportive of the idea of dropping out as some of my friends might have been, just added to the feeling of everything slipping from my hands and me no longer being able to call the shots in my own everyday life. I had been so sure of so many things and from what seemed like one second to the other, that certainty that had always given me such a grand feeling of control, was ripped away from me before I could even bid it a proper goodbye.

So, there I was. Stuck in a situation that didn’t seem to have a solution or emergency exit. And, well, you just need to read the last entry to see that it didn’t go too well after that.

I remember one fateful day where I had once again been sitting in the library, trying my absolute hardest to write my thesis (and, obviously, failing), until I just gave up again and started watching Netflix on the university computer. As I was sitting there, not really paying attention to whatever show I had clicked on anyway, I felt so insanely frustrated because I just didn’t know what was wrong with me. I didn’t know why I couldn’t write or read my books or just do anything that involved my goddamn thesis.

And this not-knowing, this feeling of staring at what seemed to be so obvious yet invisible to me, drove me up the fucking walls. So, in a desperate attempt of once again solving the riddle that was my own mind, I sat down and did what I’m actually doing right now as well: I started writing. I figured that whatever it was that was keeping me from working on my academic responsibilities (and also causing all my panic attacks and insomnia), must have had its origin at some point in the past.

And since I didn’t know what point that could have been, I decided to start at the beginning. And I mean the literal beginning. I opened a new Word document that – and I am fully serious – started with the words: “Let’s try and make a timeline that starts with me being born”. I know, dramatic as always. But I was ready to commit. I had never considered my life to be something that contained many traumas (oh, innocent past-me), but I was more than ready to dig deep to find some, so I could finally make some sense of why I seemed to be stuck, both emotionally and academically.

I still have that document and I actually briefly skimmed over it just now. And, oh dear. Reading all of that again was not easy. And writing it wasn’t either. I remember sitting at that computer and, despite having thought that there wouldn’t be anything worth mentioning from my past, just typing and typing and typing. When there was nothing else left that came to my mind, I stopped and started reading through it. It was all there, laid out right in front of me, and it was like going on a very nostalgic, sad and painful walk through all the events of my childhood and teenage years that had just been really, really shitty.

So, there I was, reading, thinking, comprehending. And all of a sudden, like the clouds clearing, like the lens sharpening, like the fog lifting, I saw it. I saw the red string. The penny fucking dropped and I literally couldn’t believe it.

“I knew in this moment, that I had lost complete control.” “I had no control.” “Maybe it’s just a way for me to wield control.” “I felt like something was happening that I didn’t have under control.” “It resulted in me trying to get back control.”

All of those sentences were among what I had just written. And you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out what the pattern I had recognized was.

You thought mommy and daddy issues were a cliché? Well, let’s add yet another layer on top of this pile of stereotypes: My incessant, compulsive and almost obsessive need of always being in control of myself and my surroundings.

I remember exactly how I felt when I finally, fucking finally, made the connection in my own head of why I was feeling so hopeless and lost. It felt like getting to scratch that annoying itch you couldn’t reach, like fitting that last puzzle piece into the whole picture. Needless to say, I burst into tears in the middle of the busy library, because while I might be very emotionally repressed, having that massive epiphany did actually make A Feeling happen inside of me, because I had been so desperate to figure out what was wrong for so long.

I’m aware that all of this sounds a bit like a crappy Hollywood movie, as big aha-moments like this don’t often happen in life – or in a library. But this one did. And I’m infinitely glad about that. Because it was in that moment I realized that a) I really, really needed therapy and b) I really, really was not going to finish this stupid thesis just for the sake of it and risk making my already worrisome mental state even more.

In a way, you could say that the urge of making a list and sorting all my traumatic memories from bottom to top, was in of itself a mechanism of yielding control for a short period of time. But okay, I don’t want to completely dissect every tiny action and choice of mine just for the sake of finding out what trauma it might have been influenced by (she says, writing the seventh, ultra-long blog post on dissecting every tiny action and choice of hers just for the sake of finding out what trauma it might have been influenced by).

Alright, let’s recap: On said very fateful day, I realized that the reason why I had been having those panic attacks, why I couldn’t seem to write my thesis and why, in general, I felt so depressed and lost, was because I felt like I was out of control of everything in my current life. And that terrified me. So much so, that it had almost stripped me of my ability to function like a normal person.

Quite the epiphany, huh? Yeah, it felt like that too, back then. And I know that not every realization happens like that. Most of my other soul-searching attempts that came when I started therapy, took a lot longer and required a lot more digging and work until I was able to untangle them. Like, for example, the question that posed itself after having figured out that I seemed to have very severe control issues: What the fuck caused them?

Because yeah, it’s one thing to finally understand what’s happening, but an entirely other thing to know why. Which leads us to part two of this wonderful post. The one where, and we’ve all been waiting for it, the two most important women of my life come back into the picture: My therapist and my mum.

Okay, I need you to know that I just laughed out loud at that last sentence for several minutes and then considered crying a little, too. But, I repressed that urge (healthily, don’t worry) for the sake of finishing this entry. So, let’s continue. (Why do I not have a career in stand-up comedy yet, seriously.)

When I started my personal therapy sessions with Kerstin, one of the first things I told her about, was that trauma-timeline list that I had written. Naturally, as therapists do, she then asked me the exact question I already asked above: “So, where do you think that need for constant control comes from?” And I said: “Well, damn, Kerstin, wouldn’t I like to know!” Okay, I didn’t say that. But in the imaginary sitcom that’s always happening in my own head I did, and then everyone laughed in that super fake ‘Friends’ way. What a blast it was.

Back in the real world, I actually did another load of digging through my past, this time to find the reason behind my, at the time, newly discovered issue with control. Or better, the issue with loosing it. I already talked a little bit about my childhood and teen years not always having been easy, mainly because of the sometimes very difficult relationship with my mum. And, well, it turns out that that “sometimes very difficult relationship” left a lot more scars than I would have ever liked to admit. I always have a hard time talking about this, because it makes me feel like I’m painting my parents as some sort of villains who constantly mistreated me. And that is just not the case. Life’s not black and white like that, and neither is family.

Again, I really had a great time as a child and teen, and my parents loved me, were always there for me and supported me in almost every aspect. But in some others, they let me down. Saying and admitting that breaks my heart. But denying it has broken it even worse in the past. I’m not going to go into much detail here because I don’t feel any need whatsoever to fill the Internet in on my personal family issues.

However, I do feel the need to remind myself why it is okay to talk about where your own current problems and struggles might come from. I’m not pointing fingers and blaming my own mum for everything that ever went wrong in my life, because that would be stupid and simply wrong. But I have grown and realized enough to know that, yes, by raising me the way she did, she did cause me some pretty heavy and painful traumas which I’m still working through today.

One of them being my problem with giving up and losing control.

My mum is such a strong and smart person and I learned so much from her. But she also never let me forget that whatever achievement I accomplished in life, was due to her providing me with support, knowledge and guidance. According to her, whenever I did something wrong, forgot something or made a mistake, it was because I hadn’t listened to her advice or done it the way she would have done it. And whenever I did something right, succeeded and made progress, it was because she had pushed me and told me how. She never let me have any credit of my own. She told me she was proud of me, but she never let me be proud of myself too.

In a way, she raised me thinking that the reason for any and everything I did, was because I either obeyed or disobeyed her. She always had the upper hand and she was always, always in control. Of my failures, of my successes, of my life.

As you can imagine, with puberty added into this already difficult family-mix, shit kinda hit the fan when I got a little older and we basically didn’t speak to each other for an entire year. Whenever we did speak, we’d just end up arguing instead. And that’s where I decided I to simply take matters (and back then, that was pretty much just school) into my own hands. Some other nasty stuff happened in reaction to that, but I actually managed to, from this point on, be independent when it came to studying, organizing and planning everything school-related. To some people, this might sound ridiculous and insane. But in my family, with my mum, this was almost reason enough to literally kick me out of the house.

But I still did it and for the first time ever, I was the one who controlled something. I was the one who decided when to do homework, how much to study and how to keep track of all my school stuff. Again, I realize that some people are probably thinking “Big fucking whoop, it’s just school?!” and yeah, I thought that too. But my mum didn’t. However, I didn’t budge and I kept the upper hand, for the first time in my life.

You can probably see where this is headed. As I got even older and started university, more and more responsibility became my own and my mum had to let go of more and more things she had always controlled for me. Not without a fight, never without a fight, but she did, eventually. I was now the one who decided what I wanted to do (at least most of the time, since I still lived at home and that came with its own set of struggles).

Without getting too carried off here, I’ll just try and make my point: When I realized that what I myself had chosen as a life and career path, was no longer actually something I wanted to do, this sense of control that I had quite literally worked years to get (from my mum and for myself), all of a sudden started to crumble. And subconsciously, without even realizing, this took me back to the mental place of being a hopeless, sixteen year old teenager that felt belittled, powerless and uncredited. Only that now, I had “no one to blame” but my own self.

The way that I had been raised with always having to have such a vice, controlling grip on my own life and academic “career” in order to be in charge of it myself, sat so deep inside of me that having had the minuscule realization of not being fully sure of my future anymore, was enough to throw me so hard that I could barely catch up with how quick I was falling apart.

That was one killer of a sentence, I apologize. But I hope that it got my point across somehow. Maybe this all sounds a bit ridiculous, maybe it doesn’t. I honestly can’t tell, most of the time. But by now, I have come to terms with the fact that how my mum taught or actually failed to teach me the value of giving up control, has greatly influenced me, even if it was just subconsciously. Because had you asked me, I would have told you in a heartbeat that it was no big deal to doubt your academic choices and even less of a big deal to change them or look for something new.

But, deep down, there was another truth that I had grown up with and into, and that one was what started to cause all my inner turmoil, the anxiety, the panic attacks, the insomnia and, eventually, my full-blown burn out.

And all of that hit me on that one fateful day, in the fucking library.

I feel like I’ve been waffling for ages now but it felt kind of cathartic to get this off my chest. I’m planning on talking about this is another post soon, but this was the first time I realized the crucial difference between saying and living things you want to be your truth, and saying and living things that really are your truth. And back then, I didn’t know I hadn’t been doing the latter for a very long time. Hitting that kind of breaking point was a very unwanted, but definitely also very much needed jumpstart to my journey of working through my own issues.

The first being the one I had with control.

I’m gonna shut up for good now and just leave you all with two screenshots because they’re just too funny not to include them. They were both reactions to my, dare I say, iconic sentence of my therapist and my mum being the two most important women in my life and well, just see for yourself ...

... sorry, mum. And also ...

... don’t we all?

#mental health #mental illness #anxiety #depression #control #control issues #therapy

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