#no we haven’t used the THC on them…yet

[nice-bright-colors]

Friday Afternoon, Day Two

A little bit of rain, some classical music, and these little gems right here…

$20 a bag, was well worth it for this kinda situation with Border Collies:

Before you have any issues, we are breaking them in gently and micro-dosing the small dogs with a 1/4 of 1 treat to start.

The chickens are starting to warm up to me. However, they are starting to turn on each other. Chicken Ladies pecking at each other. Me having to raise my voice a little bit. Then I did the Mick Jagger quote from Altamont…”why are we fighting? Why are we fighting?”

One of the horses didn’t like the tone of my voice so he charged out of the paddock.

[crissiebaby]

DiapOut: Chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: This series contains diaper usage, public humiliation, masturbation, hypermessing, sissification, WAM, mental regression, and other ABDL themes. If you haven’t read the first chapter and want to catch up, be sure to check out the link in the description. I hope you enjoy!

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“Welcome back kiddos!” said CassiRole, smiling widely at the camera as she waited for the applause to die down, “Last time on DiapOut, we saw the Messers bare it all as they staged a fabulous comeback, leaving the Wetters in the dust and scoring 65 points for their team in total. Meanwhile, having only completed two of the four obstacles, the Messers now have a massive deficit, sitting at only 20 points. Will Round Two help them catch back up? We’ll find out right now!”

As Cassi finished her reintroduction, the sound stage lights rose up to reveal that the two teams were standing in front of an obscenely large table piled high with various kinds of food. Neither team appeared to know what was going on or what they were supposed to do. That didn’t stop Lelaya from attempting to bum-rush the buffet, shouting “Oooh! Snackies! My tum-tum was getting all grumbly so this is perfect!”

Thankfully, Misa was standing close enough to grab the diaper fashionista by the bunny ears and hold her to her marker. “Not yet, dummy. This is for the challenge…I think,” she said, scratching her head as she tried to decipher what the buffet table was meant for. Unlike the first round, they weren’t given a safety walk, which at the very least signaled that this wouldn’t be another high-intensity challenge.

“Fuck, I just wanna dive into that mountain of french fries,” said Cade as he drolled over the spread. While he usually had to combat the munchies from his frequent use of THC, he was surprised to find that going without weed all afternoon was actually making him hungrier than normal.

Sitting in the same boat as Cade, Rupert now fully understood why they kept the amount of food in the green room limited. “Screw the fries. That chocolate cake looks Goddess-tier,” he said, hoping that whatever explanation Cassi had for the first round was over soon so he could pig out on all the delectable offerings.

“Just look at those eager faces. I guess their hunger for victory is only matched by…well…their hunger,” said Cassi, encouraging the audience to laugh at the starved looks on the eight contestants' faces, “Don’t worry. You’ll all have a full hour to stuff your faces as much as you want. That’s right, Littles and Bigs, we’re gonna have ourselves a good, old-fashioned Mess-Off!”

If the audience was wild before, they were practically leaping out of their seats at the news that Round Two was about to get messy in all the best ways. “M-Mess-Off?” stuttered Ayaya, feeling a twinge of fear building up in her gut. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what a Mess-Off was. She turned to look at Misa, who was equally terrified at the prospect of not only using her diaper as intended, but over-using it. 

Throwing her arms around Misa and Ayaya’s shoulders, Lelaya did not share in their panic whatsoever. “OMG! This is gonna be so much fun! I can’t wait to see you both rocking brown pamps!” she exclaimed, winding her arms back to give both girls a hardy smack on the butt.

Meanwhile, the members of the WET Diaper Lovers Club were frothing at the mouth to dig into this challenge. “Prepare your butts, boys,” said Kyoko, biting her lip as a sense of pride washed over her. When it came to filling a diaper, she was a force to be reckoned with, having participated and come out victorious in several messing competitions across the Northern US and Canada.

However, while most of the WET Diaper Lovers were amped to kick off the second round, Kyoko was quick to spot that one of her crew was far from enthusiastic. Standing stiffly with his hands clasped together, Zeke was finding it hard to quell his anxiety. Every time he heard CassiRole’s voice echo across the sound stage, his mind was sent back to the dressing room incident. Carefully, he stretched his peripheral vision to sneak a look at Cassi just in time to see her staring at him with a knowing smirk, causing him to look away altogether.

Zeke wasn’t the only one freaking out for reasons outside of the game. Standing in front of her friends prominently so that the cameras had a clear shot of her, Mia was sweating bullets over being asked to cheat. It wasn’t an easy decision but she did decide to down two of the pills that Keelee had given her right as they were called to places, figuring that if she didn’t and lost, the DiapOut production team would be furious with her. Placing her hands on her stomach, she could feel strange sensations bubbling up from within her intestines, letting her know that the pills were definitely working.

“Uh oh! I think our Baby New Year is having some flashbacks to her big accident,” said Cassi as she spotted Mia touching her belly. This caused Mia to instantly shift her arms back to her sides as her face turned bright pink. She was so concerned with the unfair advantage she’d been given that she didn’t even think about the implications of messing her diaper live on camera for the second time this year. Only this time, she’d have to do so on purpose.

“Hehehe, don’t worry you’re pretty, little head, Mia. This time, you’ll have all your friends to make big stinkies with you,” stated Cassi, earning another round of uproarious cackling, “As I already mentioned, you each have one hour to pack those pampers as much as you can. Once the timer runs out, we’ll weigh your teams’ diapers head to head. The team with the heaviest diapers will win 30 points, as well as one point for every pound they manage to beat the opposing team by!”

Lights suddenly came up on the giant scale they had prepped in the corner of the studio, giving both the contestants and the audience their first glimpse at how the winner will be determined. Seconds later, another spotlight came on, this time shining down on sixteen shot glasses organized into eight rows that were labeled with the players’ names. “Additionally, each player will receive two shots of Lightning Laxatives that the CrissBaby Diaper Company was more than happy to provide us with. Be sure to use them wisely,” stated Cassi, bringing her explanation of Round Two to a close, “I’ll give you guys a few minutes to strategize, then we’ll get started!”

Glaring at the rows of Lightning Laxatives, Mia swore she could hear the Kill Bill sirens sounding off in her ears. As if she wasn’t already on edge enough, now she had to relive the same trauma that got her into DiapOut in the first place. On the plus side, at least she wasn’t alone this time.

“Nuh-uh! No way!” screamed Misa, backing away from the rest of her group, “The game show and the diaper were one thing. But shitting myself in front of a live audience is not my idea of a good time.” Throwing up her arms, she turned her back on the team, preparing to throw in the towel.

However, Misa wouldn’t get far before she felt a hand grab onto the waistband of her diaper. “Oh no, you don’t,” said Mia, a mix of frustration and amusement in her voice, “Let’s see here. Not only are you the reason I ended up as Baby New Year in the first place, but you also tricked me into taking one of those stupid laxative shots. You reap what you sow on this one.”

Misa wanted to object to Mia’s depiction of events but before she could, Keelee stepped in to put the whole argument to bed. “I might also add that, as per the contract that ALL of you signed, you will be held liable for this episode’s production costs since we would have to throw out an entire episode because of you. And before you ask, today’s production costs have already surpassed six digits,” she said pointedly, feeling immense satisfaction in watching Misa’s will to fight deflate entirely, “Good luck out there, girls.” She gave Misa a pat on the head before returning to her post.

While the Wetters squabbled about whether they were even going to compete or not, the Messers were busy plotting out how they were going to maximize their mess loads. “Alright, based on what I can see from the table, this won’t be as easy as chowing down on whatever we want. Try to stick to foods that are high in fiber. Stuff like the baked beans and the fruit platter is what you wanna target,” said Kyoko as limbered up her midsection with a series of stretches, encouraging the others to join her.

Struggling to copy Kyoko’s poses, Cade asked, “What about the french fries? Starch is good for bowel movements, right?”

“Do NOT touch the fries,” stated Kyoko vehemently, “Fatty foods, dairy products, red meats, all of those things will slow your metabolism down in a heartbeat. Definitely don’t waste your tummy real estate on something fried.”

A look of pure disappointment ran across Cade’s face as he longingly stared at the tantalizing fry platter, knowing that if he so much as took one, Kyoko would be on his ass in an instant. Turning to his partner in crime, Rupert, it was obvious that his best bud was going through the same stage of grief that he was over the glistening chocolate cake. The two potheads sulked as they listened to Kyoko ramble on about good messing etiquette.

“Alright, contestants! Please return to your markers! Round Two is about to begin!” shouted Keelee through her megaphone. She then gave a thumbs-up to Cassi and Jackson, letting them know that she and her team were ready to start the timer.

With all the players returning to their designated spots, Cassi stepped in front of the camera and waited to be counted in before saying, “Contestants! Are you ready?!” A series of yes’s followed from the eight players. “Excellent! Before we get started, there’s one last bit of business to take care of. Would a mister Zeke Collins please step forward?”

Zeke could swear he could hear a pin drop from a mile away with how silent the studio went. He looked back and forth between Kyoko, Cade, and Rupert before lowering his head and stepping forward begrudgingly. 

Stepping down from the raised platform she was on, Cassi rounded the banquet table and walked right up to Zeke, wearing a giant smirk on her face the entire way. “Tell me, Zekey-baby, what do we do with Littles who take their diapers off without permission?” she asked pointedly before holding a microphone up to his mouth.

Gulping hard, Zeke already knew what the answer was. That didn’t make saying it any easier. “They g-get punished,” he stuttered solemnly, earning more than a few jeers from the audience.

“That’s right! Such a smart Little you are,” said Cassi, reaching up and patting Zeke on the head to further drive home his humiliation. Sticking her fingers in her mouth, she whistled sharply, signaling one of the stagehands to rush over and deliver to her the object of Zeke’s punishment, “You’re so smart that I bet you know exactly what this is, don’t you?”

Wincing as all the blood in his body pushed its way into his cheek, Zeke looked back to see the horrified expressions of his teammates, all of whom were utterly powerless to help their friend out of such a mortifying situation. “Th-they’re plastic pants,” he said, his voice barely audible even through the microphone.

“Not just any plastic pants! Locking plastic pants!” said Cassi as she squatted down and held the infantile garment open for Zeke to step into, “Go on! The round can’t start until you’re properly dressed.”

Gritting his teeth in such a way that it forced his face to contort into an adorable pout, Zeke stepped into the clear plastic pants one leg at a time, allowing Cassi to pull them up all the way to his groin. She made sure to give them an extra tug as she hooked the tiny padlock into place. “There, now you won’t need to worry about losing your precious virginity any time soon,” she whispered, making sure that only Zeke could hear her. Holding the mic to her mouth once again, she turned to face the audience once more, “Perfect! Now we’re all ready! Everyone, give Zeke a round of applause for being such a good sport.”

With the plastic pants in place, both Zeke and Cassi returned to their positions for the start of Round Two as the pair were showered with claps and cheers. At last, it was finally time to kick off the second round. Holding up an air horn about her head, the dazzling host let the moment of tension hang in the air. “On your marks…get set…dig in!”

*BWAAAAAAAAAAH!!!*

TO BE CONTINUED…

« PREVIOUS l FIRST l NEXT »

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Heyyo! Can't wait until next week for more DiapOut!? Subscribe to my Patreon, where you can get early access to main series chapters like this one, as well as exclusive content you won't find anywhere else! Join my dollhouse at patreon.com/crissiebaby!

Edited by AllySmolShork

[spacecadetspe]

Mar. 10, 2024

I really have been trying to lay low and rest. It’s difficult when I’m getting texts left and right from needy, emotional people. To my surprise, Métis is not one of them. I haven’t heard from her in almost a week, and I’m worried.

All this stress has carried over into nightmares that I must process whenever I shut my eyes. Phobetor’s trying to be patient with me in spite of my continuing to spiral. It’s gotten so bad that I even had a nightmare of watching Fortitude weep in my lap from his chronic pain.

Another of my problems is a suicidal loner from Ohio, and yet another is a woman who has been in and out of homelessness over the past year.

Last night, the latter’s phone began malfunctioning and dialing me every few minutes between 12:30 and 1:30. By then, not only was I exhausted, but I was severely triggered. I have spent thousands of dollars trying to keep this woman alive, and I was so convinced I was about to crack that couldn’t handle a single noise from my phone.

I turned the thing off and took a big bite of a thc gummy, and lay down.

I fought the hallucinations for what felt like an hour or two, and then gave in and cried out for Mother.

“I can’t do this anymore!” I screamed. “I don’t know why I’m like this or where it came from, but I don’t want it! I don’t like it! It’s killing me!”

In response, Mother revealed to me where my financial trauma had come from; a memory from four or five thousand years ago.

My avatar was standing on the stone floor of a cottage kitchen, cradling a baby in her arms. She was screaming angrily at a dark figure in the doorway to get out. “You’re a menace!” she seethed. In response, the black humanoid sank into the floor, as if consisting of nothing more than shadows, and disappeared into the grout.

Mother gave me a sideways look and grinned. “Ever wonder where ‘Rumpelstiltskin’ came from?” She asked.

She gave me a list of concepts to remember, and I felt they were so important that I went back later to review them. But in waking, of course it was all lost.

Morpheus was sitting by my bedside. His hands were blistered and bandaged. He had been the one to come in and process me, and relocate me to a less flammable location. He wasn’t sure what had caused my explosive reaction, and I told him I’d consumed a known hallucinogen.

“I wasn’t aware thc would cause rainbow fire,” he said.

“I called her,” I said.

He leaned close and took my hand in his. “Why?” he asked softly.

I felt my eyes tear up. “I needed my mom.”

He sat there and petted my head, and then kindly suggested that I stay in and rest for a few days.

Like that could happen.

Mother jerked me aside to watch as Ingrid faced off against BG. We sat in the stands in BG’s arena, and Mother and I curled up together with a massive bucket of popcorn to watch.

It got uglier in stages. That tends to happen in a dogfight, but BG was not interested in having her place challenged.

Ingrid had noticed a discrepancy between the joy and wild laughter of the divine flame and BG’s stoicism. I wasn’t sure what that had to do with anything, but when BG took hold of the Dream Staff, I saw that Ingrid might actually have a point.

BG used the staff to wrest control of the dream gods and bring them into the arena to restrain Ingrid. She managed to shake them off, but… it was my mess to clean up. “Rest,” they said. “Stop working so hard.” Right. And then shit like this happens.

When the battle was over, I took Ingrid back to Ropana for healing.

“How bad was it?” She asked me.

“Twenty-six guides, Love, and Michael.”

“Well, shit.” I have never heard Ropana curse before. Or BG, for that matter. But in both cases, Ingrid seems to be upsetting the status quo. She challenged BG to see more in who she is and what she does.

“She really is the Virtue of Justice,” Betelgeuse acknowledged.

When I was done healing the Dream gods, I pulled the elder brothers aside to discuss the memories Mother had left me.

They agreed that the vision was old German, and a remnant from another aspect that was showing up. Mother piped up that I knew how to handle it, and made the Reckoning of the Ages appear. All three brothers took a jump to the left, as if to avoid it. They all knew that none of them could touch my blade.

I told them to relax, and that ROTA could perform the job on its own. And with surprisingly little ado, they excised the new aspect.

She answered our questions easily, and then chose to join the throngs of the dead for a well-earned rest.

I’m hoping I sleep as well as she does tonight.

[miraclerootgummies]

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[digitalmota]

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THC digital marketing, when done right, will produce desirable results. Especially for a niche topic like cannabis, there are certain things you need to keep in mind to ensure that you won’t be wasting any resources. Now, you’re likely here because you’re just about to enter THC digital marketing. Fortunately, you came to the right place because we’ll give you three important things you need to know before going through this venture. And knowing them could very much put you ahead of the competition, particularly among fellow beginners. Proper Branding Branding is what your company is all about. It’s what people will associate you with, whether it’s a unique logo, color schemes, the type of content you create, and the message you consistently deliver. Right off the bat, you’d want to create a strong brand for yourself. This one requires a lot of brainstorming with the objective of standing out among the competition that becomes steeper as more states legalize cannabis use. Audience Familiarity In short, know your audience. What do they want? What are they looking for? Are they using cannabis for recreational or medical purposes, or both? These are questions you need to answer before getting into THC digital marketing. After all, you are marketing your products and/or services to a specific type of people. But here, it’s all a matter of niching down further to tap into a more condensed market. This helps you stand out more since you’re discussing particular matters that likely haven’t been covered yet. Work With a Reputable Agency Since you’re venturing into THC digital marketing for the first time, you either have very little resources or you’re still learning the ropes. In this case, you’d want to work with a reputable agency with a team of experts who can handle your digital marketing efforts. It’s OK to seek professional assistance, especially if you’re still a budding company with little manpower. It may cost you a sum of money, but consider it as an investment that could turn out to be helpful in the long run. We Can Help You With Your THC Digital Marketing Campaign Since we’re on the topic of established agencies, we at Digital Mota pride ourselves to have that reputation. We have a number of respected clients who’ve been working with us for years now, and we’re proud to have helped them achieve their digital marketing goals. If you have inquiries, you can call us at (888) 428-1887.

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[hemp-co]

Hemp Seed Oil For Pets | Health Benefits And Uses

First things first: Anything with an endocannabinoid system can benefit from hemp.

Hemp seed oil for pets is a fascinating topic, especially considering its incalculable benefits. But even though it has such an impressive array of advantages, pet owners are often oblivious to this amazing natural herb… and fair enough, it’s been illegal and misportrayed for so long! 

But this is no longer the case, so we want to help spread the word of how everything on this planet can benefit from hemp – not just humans.  

…So don’t worry if you haven’t heard much about it yet.  In this article, we’re going to bring you up to speed on all the benefits of hemp seed oil for your pets – dogs and cats alike!

Hemp Oil Vs. Hemp Seed Oil For Pets… What’s The Difference?

Hemp oil (also known as CBD oil) is a medicinal product that’s manufactured from the flower of the female Cannabis sativa plant. It’s quite high in cannabidiol (CBD) and other cannabinoids and can contain THC, the compound that is reported by Wikipedia to be the principal psychoactive in cannabis.

This is one of the main ‘medicinal cannabis oils’ that we’ve been hearing so much about recently!  As it seems, it’s becoming widely used for pain relief for humans and pets across the world. Hemp Oil is essentially a concentrated extract of the medicinal compounds of the cannabis plant, and therefore contains high amounts of cannabinoids. 

Hemp seed oil, on the other hand, is the oil extracted by cold-press from the seeds of the same cannabis plant.  Legally speaking, hemp seed and hemp seed oil in Australia should have less than 0.3% THC to be sold. This oil contains only slight traces of THC and CBD.

Therefore, you can legally use hemp seed oil without a prescription for yourself or your pet animals in Australia. The composition of the hemp seed oil is perfect for pets. In fact, it’s one of the only natural food in the world that has Essential Fatty Acids (EFA) like Omega 6 and Omega 3 in the optimum ratio of 3:1.

But that’s not all. With a newfound interest in this often-neglected plant, researchers seem to be finding more about the diversity of its benefits every day. Let’s take a look at a few ways that pets can benefit!

Benefits Of Hemp Seed Oil For Pets 

Hemp seed oil can truly be a life-saver for your pet. But that doesn’t mean you need to use it only in times of distress and sickness. In fact, hemp seed oil could – and should – be used in your pets routine diet. Here are a few reasons why!

Improved Skin And Coat

Hemp seed oil can improve skin health in both dogs and cats, leaving them with a fluffy, irresistibly cuddly coat. As mentioned above, hemp seed oil has the perfect composition of Essential Fatty Acids (EFA) like Omega 6 and Omega 3 in the ratio of 1:3.

Omega fatty acids are one of the most important factors for skin and coat health in animals. 

Hemp Out Agency mentions in their article that the unbalanced composition of Omega 6 and Omega 3 in your pet’s diet can cause major upsets in its health. With extra Omega 6, your pet’s body would further reduce its Omega 3 levels.

Similarly, with an excess of Omega 3, the body would cut back on Omega 6. This can lead to serious instabilities in your pet’s body. As a result, other unbalanced sources of Omega fatty acids like fish oil can not be relied upon.

The fact that it is a perfectly balanced source of Omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids further magnifies the importance of incorporating hemp seed oil in your pet’s diet. 

Treating Skin Allergies

Any oil that is so perfectly balanced with Essential Fatty Acids would certainly work well for skin allergies and diseases. A 2005 research noted that Atopic Dermatitis (Eczema) patients experienced reduced allergic symptoms with the dietary use of hemp seed oil. 

…And that’s just getting started!  There are many other notable benefits of hemp for pets, which you can read more about here

Safe Use And Dosages Of Hemp Seed Oil For Pets 

We often hear questions like, “how much hemp seed oil should I give my dog?” 

Hemp seed oil is comparable to sunflower oil – and is perfectly safe for your pets. It does not contain any psychoactive compounds like THC and includes minimal amounts of CBD as well.

So, you can even incorporate hemp seed into your cat or dog’s meal without fear.  The general rule of safe dosage is 1ml – 5ml depending on your furry friend’s weight.

On the other hand, CBD oil (or hemp oil) is used as medicine and only a vet can prescribe a proper dosage for it. Unfortunately, not much research has been conducted on safe levels of concentrated CBD oil for pets.

Will Hemp Seed Oil Get My Pet High? 

No. Hemp seed oil will not get your pet high. The psychoactive chemical in Cannabis that gives the sensation of being “high” is THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol). With that said, there’s virtually no THC in hemp seed oil. Therefore, our furry friends would have to get into a lot of hemps to get high – just like humans!

All in all, hemp seed oil for pets is not just safe – but highly beneficial as well. 

Check out our Hemp Doggie Treats by clicking here.

[hunni-pen]

Tongue Tied Baby

A Hanta Sero X Reader Story

Art by AMadKat on DeviantArt.

This is inspired by my MHA: Can they sing headcanons. Please go check that out if you haven’t.

Warnings: uh drug use. Nothing too hard, just weed. Also driving under the influence(please don’t do that). Slight cursing, it’s like one word.

You and Sero had been dating for some time. You couldn’t take the liberty to remember the exact day, so once a month you both agreed on a date and celebrated. That’s actually what the two of you were doing tonight. He was coming to pick you up so you could just hang out, that’s all you wanted to do on your designated day together.

After a stressful week of studying for tests, and just trying to keep up with school and work, you were exhausted. You just wanted to see your boyfriend, the thought alone made you pout your way through your day.

You’d dressed in your best attire for the occasion, that being one of his plain grey sweaters, a clean shirt, and sweats that didn’t have ramen spilt on them. You believed you could walk the runway in this outfit. You then sat outside your apartment complex and waited for him to pull up. Perking up everytime a car slowed down in front of the building.

Finally his car slowed to a stop outside and he climbed out. “Hey princess,” he cooed as you wrapped your arms around him and put your head on his chest. “Did you miss me?”

You hummed as he held you, “you took forever to get here.” You pouted, pulling back and looking up at him. “I was getting sad.”

“I’m sorry beautiful. My client was a little late to pick up.” Ah yes, your boyfriend, the college drug dealer. He just had that overall look to him. “But I saved some stuff for us. So let’s go park somewhere else and smoke.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead and opened the car door for you. “Can we get food from the 7-11 after?”

“Anything you want beautiful.”

The lighter clicked twice before actually lighting up. The flame dancing in front of your eyes and you watched Sero lower it to the tip of the joint. “Go ahead and start inhaling for me baby.”

You did as he said, feeling the warm smoke enter your mouth. You pulled back scrunching your nose and sucking a breath in between your teeth, then blowing it out. “Oh fuck,” you cleared your throat and attempted not to cough.

Sero took his own hit before passing it back. You watched as he calmly blew a big cloud of smoke out. He was so good at it, hardly ever coughing. Taking the joint from his fingertips, you took a second hit.

The two of you passed it back and forth, till the roach finally went out. Sero fully opened his window that was simply cracked open. Tapping the wrapping and letting the rest of the ash fal to the ground, then reaching past your legs and tossing it in the garbage bag next to your feet.

He looked up, still sitting very low. Your cheeks were red, at how close you were. The thing about your relationship with Sero was that you were really close friends before you had started dating. It took you a few months before you even confessed your feelings to each other.

Even now, you still felt the need to ask for a small kiss. You could relate it to one of those 200k, fluff, slowburn fanfics you used to read in high school. That being said, you had yet to tell him that you were more than in like -as you put it when you confessed- with him. You were fully one hundred percent in love with him.

He leaned back in his seat, and you thought you also saw a pink dusting on his cheeks. He cleared his throat, picking up his phone. “So how about some music? I made you a playlist.”

You giggled, “you made me a playlist Hanta?”

His own high laugh slipped through his lips as he turned to show you the title of the playlist. “Yep, all the music that has me thinking of you.”

The words, Tongue Tied Baby were above the playlist. The first song on the list being Tongue tied. You reached forward and clicked, hearing the intro to the song start playing. “I’m very flattered. Thank you.”

He hummed, now that the music was playing and the car was successfully aired out, he started to pull out of the parking space. Driving along the emptying roads. It was getting surprisingly late.

As you two drove, looking for a 7-11 -because nothing cures cottonmouth like a cheap sugary slushie- you felt his hand slide over to settle on your lap. You suppressed a giggle, he must be getting bold in this high.

You slid your own hand under his, tangling your fingers with his. Feeling quite bold yourself. Maybe tonight you could tell him. Such a big declaration took lots of confidence. But you guessed, the THC in your system would suffice.

The two of you burst out of the 7-11, slushies and a bag of snacks in hand, laughter falling from your lips. You could hardly even remember what had happened that made you burst out in laughter. But when an older woman in the store had glared at your sudden outburst, Sero had started laughing. His giggles continued as he paid for your things.

You sighed deeply, taking a split second to calm yourself down before Sero had climbed back into the car. It seems he also took a moment. His fingers tangling with yours as he pulled out. Suddenly the car was so silent. You found yourself reaching with your free hand for his phone, wanting to play that song again.

You didn’t know where you were when you parked, but it was just the two of you, alone. Despite the music playing in the car, the silence still felt deafening. Your mind was racing with thousands of scenarios of whether or not you told Sero you loved him. You were going crazy thinking about it. What if he wasn’t ready for that! Would that make your relationship too serious?

“Hey (Y/N).” Your head snapped up to look into Seros glossy eyes. He hardly ever called you by your name. Even when you were just friends he was use those stupid sappy nicknames.

“Yes?” You asked, feeling butterflies build up in your stomach. You snatched up your slushie, talking a sip and hoping to drown the fluttering insects.

“I love you.”

You nearly dropped your drink. Sputtering out a cough. “What?”

“Oh shit,” he sighed looking up at the roof of the car. “I totally just ruined your vibe.”

You shifted in your seat. Leaning over the center console you cupped his cheeks turning him to face you. His wide surprised eyes made bubbly giggles tumble from your lips.

“No way,” you said. “I love you too. I think you're so amazing.”

He visibly brightened, “you’re so beautiful.” You pressed a small peck to his lips, and he laughed into it. Giddy from your acceptance of his declaration of love. “You leave me tongue tied baby.”

[wellbeingcbdoilsblog]

How Does Well Being CBD Oil Really Work?

What is Well Being CBD Oil?

The cannabis plant, Cannabis sativa, contains a number of active ingredients, including THC and CBD. THC (tetrahydrocannabinol), the most active ingredient of marijuana, is the component that makes a person high when either smoked or ingested. Cannabidiol (CBD), on the other hand, is not psychoactive: it doesn’t induce a mind-altering effect.

what is Well Being CBD Oil ? is a way of delivering CBD. This chemical is first extracted from the plant and then diluted with a carrier oil like hemp seed. It can then be consumed as either the oil itself or within drinks or confectionary. In the USA, it can be found in health shops.

How does Well Being CBD work?

The human body has two currently-known types of points where cannabinoids can bind, called CB1 and CB2 receptors. Cannabinoids can attach to the CB1 and CB2 docking points since they have a similar structure to the body’s naturally-occurring endocannabinoids. From here, CBD can impact movement, pain, emotions, mood and other functions regulated by endocannabinoids. This is still an area of active research and much of how it all works is still being explored.

Is Well Being CBD Oil effective?

Many users of Well Being CBD Oil Benefits claim it helps to relieve pain and inflammation, reduce anxiety and make them calm. Currently, scientific studies cannot say whether the small CBD quantities available in CBD products have any effect at all, but that hasn’t held back use. This is an area of ongoing research – we just haven’t reached a point where we have all the answers. Science is working to catch up with the demand.

CBD products available in health food shops and on the internet are not controlled or regulated as medicines, other than the legal limit on THC content. As doctors, we are advised to tell patients that ‘over-the-counter or internet’ CBD products lack quality assurance and should not be treated as medicines. There’s no way to be sure of what’s in the products you buy.

What conditions can Well Being CBD Oil help?

The list of things we’re told Well Being CBD Oil can do for us is long, but there is still only preliminary evidence.

There is some belief that CBD is a natural painkiller. It’s also thought to have anti-inflammatory properties, and so it may help as a treatment for inflammatory diseases like Crohn’s disease. Indeed, some small studies in mice have supported this claim by showing that CBD significantly reduced chronic inflammation and pain. This has led hope that it may one day help chronic pain, but we won’t know until human tests are complete.

CBD is also believed to help people who suffer from anxiety and mood-related symptoms, as well as insomnia.

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An estimated 20.4 percent, or 50 million, Americans live with chronic pain, leading to nearly $560 billion each year in direct medical costs, lowering productivity and increasing disability. Today, chronic pain is one of the most common reasons for adults to seek medical care and has led to opioid dependence, anxiety, depression, restrictions in mobility and daily activities and overall reduction in quality of life. While short-term pain-relieving therapies provide relatively good solutions, an effective long-term solution for chronic pain has yet to be identified.

To establish what we are missing in chronic pain treatment, we first need to understand how the body perceives and responds to pain. Throughout the body we have pain-receptive neurons, known as nociceptors, which respond to damaging or potentially damaging stimuli by sending a “possible threat” signal. The signal travels through the nerves to the spinal cord, which processes the pain message and carries it up to the brain, where it is further processed by the thalamus and then sent to the cerebral cortex, where we perceive it.

Upon receiving a nociceptive pain message, the brain’s pain regulation network can either inhibit or enhance the pain experience according to the context. Typically, an acute pain message is often considered a “good” signal since it alerts the body to potential damage, allowing protective action that can thereafter be inhibited. Chronic pain, however, is usually a “bad” signal, reflecting some dysfunction of the system that fails to inhibit the pain and allows it to go on.

A common question that pain researchers face is why similar diseases or injuries cause varying pain levels in different people. We have come to understand that those living with a balanced pain regulation system are able to better inhibit unnecessary or non-threatening pain messages, while those with an imbalanced system lack this inhibitory capacity and are more susceptible to acute and chronic pains. Research has shown that patients with pain disorders such as migraine, tension-type headache, fibromyalgia, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), temporomandibular joint disorder (TMD) and osteoarthritis usually have lower ability to inhibit pain.

Individuals living with these chronic pain conditions often rely on over-the-counter (OTC) medications or stronger pharmacological solutions to block unnecessary pain signals. In fact, the global opioid market was sized at $25.4 billion in 2018. However, neither OTCs nor prescription pain medication are ideal for long-term use. Instead of developing more medication combinations for long-term pain management, it is time to rethink how we approach pain modulation altogether. With the advancement of technology in the medical device space, recent technologies are making it possible to treat pain conditions non-invasively.

Treating pain where it doesn’t hurt

“Well Being CBD Oil Reviews” is a time-honored medical observation, where pain in one body site will be perceived as less intensive upon the introduction of another pain at a remote site. The underlying mechanism is the activation of internal inhibitory circuits evoked by the new remote pain that inhibit the original pain. When studying this mechanism in humans, we call this phenomenon “conditioned pain modulation” (CPM), a term that is often used to describe the process of endogenous pain inhibition.

In recent years, consistent data have accumulated demonstrating that CPM is less efficient in patients suffering from chronic pain, especially for those living with an idiopathic pain syndrome. That is, their ability to inhibit the perception of one pain by another is reduced—either as a cause or as a consequence of their chronic pain.

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[malakhai-ozera]

Oh, Christmas Tree 🎄 || Khoman

Discord text thread featuring: Khai Ozera and Roman Beckett​

When: December 8th 2020

Mentions: ​Landon Davies

Description: Khai and Roman get drunk and put up their Christmas tree.

Trigger Warnings: - Feels 🥺

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ “Oh Christmas Treeee, Oh Christmas Treeee!!! I really don’t knoooooww the words to thee!” Roman sang out as he pulled the cookies from the oven, far from burnt since Khai had been the one closely watching the time. “These smell fabulous.” Of course Ro had on a nice green Christmas sweater, only underwear paired with it, and Santa sock booties. It was definitely a fashion statement, but at least this time he didn’t feel like he had to wear an apron. “Baaaaaabe!” He called out while reaching for his wine glass, and stumbling with it over to the counter so he could get yet another refill. They were both already buzzed, and enjoying some Christmas music while putting up their first tree together. Exciting. Ornaments were next after they tried some cookies.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai could hear Roman singing from the living room and he laughed to himself. God, how was this man this adorable all the time? His smile was stretched from ear to ear as he placed their box of ornaments onto the couch and headed to the kitchen. His Santa hat sliding down on his head practically covering his eyes as he pushed up the sleeves on his red candy cane sweater. God, they were so gross, but they just had to be festive. “Yes, love?” he grinned as he saw Roman practically gliding across the kitchen into the counter for more wine. “Those smell delicious” he chuckled. Making his way over to his roommate and booping his nose before leaning against the counter to keep himself sturdy. “Should we cheers to our first tree together?” he asked. Looking around for a moment to try and find his glass. “Ah, shit. I forgot my glass” he laughed. Pushing off the counter and stumbling to the living room to grab his glass before coming back and crashing into Roman with a giggle. “Okay. I’m ready” he laughed again.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman sat his wine back down while Khai ran to get his own glass, using the opportunity to start waving a place mat over the tray of cookies in and attempt to cool them off. He then took a spatula, and moved them one by one to a plate so they could firm up. “Okay, okay — I’m ready as well.” Roman nodded, and then grabbed his glass to hold it up in Khai’s direction. “To us, our amazing apartment, our friendship, and our first tree.” Roman toasted with a wide smile, looking into the other male’s eyes while he clinked their glasses together, and then took another sip of the dark liquid. “Okay. Wanna try a cookie??” The taller asked, full of excitement.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ There was no way he was ever gonna be able to stop smiling, not tonight. He had been so excited for this all day, and now that they were finally doing it. He was just so ecstatic. Lifting his glass he clinked it to Roman’s with a nod. “I couldn’t have said it better myself, babe” he beamed. Sipping from his glass before nodding his head again. “Mmm, yes. They look so good.. and look at you getting them all set up.” His cheeks were actually starting to hurt from how much he was smiling, but luckily the wine kept him from caring. His hand moving to rub the center of Roman’s back as the other sat down his glass and reached for a cookie. “You want the first bite?” he asked. Holding the cookie out toward Roman’s lips before licking his own as he watched him.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman let out a low moan of satisfaction when he felt Khai start to rub his lower back. God, that felt nice, and the smaller knew it too. After all, he had to live with Ro complaining about his back pretty consistently anyway. The actor smirked when he was offered the first bite of cookie, eyes darting from Khai’s caramel colored eyes, down to the baked good by his lips. These were pretty strong in THC, they really only needed half per person, but Roman leaned in to take a giant bite anyway, throwing a tight lipped grin as he chewed away with a happy hum.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Listen. Khai absolutely loved making Roman feel good. In fact, he got highly jealous when he wasn’t the one doing so. Which only made him want to pamper and take care of his roommate even more. His fingers rubbing small tender circles along Roman’s spine as he watched him take a bite of the cookie. “Is it good?” he asked, lifting his brow curiously as he licked his lips. Just hearing the way Roman hummed was enough incentive for him to pop the remainder of the cookie straight into his mouth though. Damn, that was good! His whole body felt so giddy, but maybe that was just because he was with Roman. How could he not be giddy in his presence? He leaned forward and pressed a soft peck to Roman’s lips and then picked up his glass of wine again. “Come on, baby. Let’s go decorate the tree” he smiled. Lacing their hands together and leading him into the living room.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ "So good." Roman admitted while chewing slowly, giving Khai a tight lipped grin as he swallowed his bite, and watched his roommate eat the rest of it. That really shouldn't be something that was attractive...watching someone eat, but alas, Ro felt extremely hot just from observing things entering Khai's mouth. God, that was weird to say out loud, wasn't it? The taller smiled when he was given a quick kiss, and then followed his lover back to the Christmas tree, ready now to finish decorating with both of the combined ornaments they'd managed to find tucked away in their storage boxes in the hall closet. "God, I haven't seen so many of these in so long. I've moved around so much, I haven't really been able to do a tree." He admitted while opening his box of old ornaments, and pulled out one Landon had made him in grade school. It actually made him tear up a bit, remembering that this had been his first gift from a friend, one he had desperately tried so hard to take good care of.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ This was such a coupley thing for them to be doing. Decorating a Christmas tree together and sharing their old memories. It warmed Khai’s heart to say the least. It was like he couldn’t even take his eyes off his roommate as he watched him pull out the first ornament. “I know, it’s been so long for me too. I mean, my dad always put one up for my sisters. But he never let me help” he shrugged. Then after getting kicked out at sixteen everything just seemed to go downhill from there. His eyes lit up as he watched Roman though, and he offered him a genuine smile. “What’s the story with that one?” he asked, pointing to the ornament in his lovers hands. Resting his chin on Roman’s shoulder as he stood behind him and took in all the detail and love that was put into making it.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman smiled when Khai walked up behind him, and asked about his ornament. He smelled so good, like aftershave, wine, and weed. What was better than that combination? There was a also a scent that was just purely Khai, one that made him genuinely want to melt into the ground like butter. That was cheesy, but oh so true. They’d both been through so much, and still managed to bump into each other, like a missing puzzle piece. “This one was made by Landon actually.” He informed the smaller, holding it up so that they could both see it better. “As you know, he was my first ever friend, and this was the first ever present someone gave me outside of my parents. I’d never known what it was like to really have a friend before.” He admitted before turning to smirk, and press a kiss to Khai’s cheek.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Sharing moments like these with Roman  were rare and far between lately. So it was easy to say Khai was melting right into the tone of his roommates voice as he explained the ornament. A soft smile outlining his features as he felt the kiss being pressed to his cheek. “This one should definitely go up first” he nodded. Reaching for the ornament and taking it from Roman’s hands. “To lasting friendships that turn into family” he said softly as he turned to hang the bulb on the tree. Smiling widely as he found the perfect spot and then turned  his head back to Roman for his opinion. “It’s perfect right?” he asked. Opening his arms out wide as if to praise the tree having its first ever ornament on it. “I love it” he beamed proudly, before accidentally knocking the ornament off the tree when he brought his arms back down. “Oh fuck!” he gasped. Dropping to his knees in hopes of finding it still in one piece. No such luck though. The bulb had shattered and so did Khai’s heart as he stood back up to see the expression on Roman’s face. “I’m so sorry.”

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman smirked as he watched Khai put up the ornament after saying it should be first, nodding with the other male said it was perfect. “Yea-“ Ro began to respond, his mouth dropping as soon as the ornament did, watching as the blessed keepsake shattered on the floor. His chest started to rise and fall, feeling like it was becoming harder to breathe, even after Khai apologized. It was just an ornament, he knew that deep down, but it didn’t make the fact that it wasn’t replaceable any easier. “Fuck, Khai...” Roman ran a hand over his face, trying not to get irrationally mad despite all the liquor he’d drank.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ To be honest, it quite literally felt like someone had punched right through his chest, and was now squeezing the life out of his heart as he watched Roman’s reaction. He knew he had just broken his heart into a million pieces, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. “Babe... I’m so sorry. Fuck, I’m such an idiot” he shook his head. Leaning back down to pick up the pieces and trying to piece them back together in his hands. “Look, I can fix it” he tried to encourage him. But it was obvious there was no way of fixing it back to the way it was. “See, I can fix it” he repeated as he moved closer to Roman. Reaching out with one of his hands to squeeze his lovers shoulder reassuringly. “Okay? It’s gonna be okay. I’ll make it better.”

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman sniffed as he felt tears start to prick at his eyes, something that made him almost angrier than the broken ornament. He hated crying in front of anyone, and now it was about so much more than Khai breaking something he loved. He was being vulnerable, somehow a level of transparent that he’d yet to be with Khai. He didn’t like showing signs of weakness, and the way the smaller was trying to make him feel better about this was even more overwhelming. Anyone could have made this mistake, especially Roman, who was the world’s biggest klutz, but he wasn’t thinking clearly. “Don’t.” His voice broke, lightly pushing the other male away, because he could feel his anxiety rising to all new levels. He was drunk, now also high, and he probably looked like a giant baby.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ The last thing Khai had expected was for Roman to push him away. He stood there kind of dumbfounded as he just looked at his best friend for a moment. “Roman, it’s okay. I promise, I’m gonna fix it” he tried to reason with him again. His own eyes glossing over now as he could see the hurt all over Roman’s face. Honestly, he didn’t know what to do. He had never seen Roman cry before, and this whole situation was just breaking his heart. All he wanted to do was hold Roman in his arms and make it better. But he couldn’t do that, and now Roman didn’t even want him touching him. “I...” he went to speak again but just shook his head instead. “I promise I’ll fix it” he kept repeating. Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth to keep himself from crying as well. This was supposed to be a happy night together and here he was ruining it. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me” his voice trembled. Trying once again to pull Roman into his arms.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Genuinely, Roman could feel his heart breaking even more at the way Khai was completely breaking down in front of him. It was enough to snap him out of whatever little meltdown he was having to reach out, and cup the other’s face in his massive hands. Why had he been so fucking mean over an ornament? Clearly there was a lot there he needed to unpack, that he’d yet to really discover about himself, because he refused to look at it. Khai was the closest person to Roman right now, so of course the actor was going to take everything out on him. “No. Don’t be sorry, I’m sorry.” He said firmly, and then dropped his hands to Khai’s shoulders. “It’s not even about the ornament, I jus’...I guess I’m a little more fucked up than i thought i was...” he looked into the smaller’s eyes with an apologetic expression. “I was being an asshole, and you don’t deserve that.”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ When Roman reached up to cup his face, Khai instinctively flinched. He didn’t mean to, because he knew Roman would never hit him. But his emotions were raw, and he knew he fucked up. He wouldn’t blame his best friend one bit for hitting him. He broke something very dear to him, and his heart right along with it. Once he realized Roman was apologizing though, he shook his head. “No, it’s okay. This meant a lot to you” he replied. His eyes shifting up to meet Roman’s as he continued to speak. “Then what’s it about?” he asked a bit confused. Setting the pieces of the ornament down onto the coffee table before placing both his hands around Roman’s cheeks. “You know you can always talk to me babe. I’m here for you” he assured. Pulling Roman closer and wrapping his arms around him in a loving embrace. “...and I promise I’ll be more careful” he added as he stroked Roman’s hair.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman wrapped his arms around Khai, and buried his face against the side of his neck when he was pulled into an embrace. He was so embarrassed, and wished desperately that he could just rewind a bit, and pretend like everything was okay. He was so good at doing that on the daily anyway, so why was he struggling so bad now? All he knew for sure, was he really didn’t want to talk about all the reasons he was fucked up right now, not when tonight was supposed to be special. “I dunno, I’m jus’ — I know you know how I feel.” The taller’s pulled back just enough to look into those intensely warm eyes he loved so much. “We’ve both been through a lot. It’s bound to catch up sometimes, right?”

[handandpaw]

Hand and Paw

3 Ways CBD Can Help Your Pet

Have you heard about the benefits of CBD and are wondering if it can help your dog or cat?  CBD is rapidly growing in popularity, and CBD for pets is something more and more pet parents are growing to love.  CBD is touted to support calming, mobility, muscle aches, rest, and even skin issues, just to name a few.  Pets are family too, so if you’ve tried everything else and haven’t tried CBD yet, you might be missing out.

How CBD Might Benefit Your Dog or Cat

The hemp plant contains over 110 beneficial cannabinoids, with CBD being just one of them. CBD helps support the body’s endocannabinoid system, which help the body maintain homeostasis.  Both people as well as animals all have endocannabinoid systems. 

And no worries - since CBD products derived from hemp contain < 0.3% THC, it won’t cause any of the high sensations associated with cannabis.  As dogs are more sensitive to THC then humans, just look for “THC-Free” CBD products for your pet – like broad spectrum, isolate or nano broad spectrum or nano isolate formulas instead of full spectrum products with trace amounts of THC.

So, how can CBD help your pet? There are many ways CBD may be beneficial for your pet, but here are the top 3:

If your pet is commonly stressed, nervous or “on guard”, then giving them CBD supplements could be a great way to help them find relief from this! Many pets struggle with fear and can be easily frightened, especially during thunderstorms, fireworks, car rides, grooming, bath time or even just when meeting new people or even other pups!  This can also help to ease the home alone scaries while your furry best friend awaits your return home. 

Balancing your pet’s mood is also supported by CBD.  We all need a little help finding our “chill” sometimes.  Just like us, pets have good days and bad days.  We’re all about finding more good days for our furry family members. 

Mobility – CBD supplements for your pet can support mobility, from those “living in the moment” moments as well as when they get older and need a little extra help getting around.  Or on the couch.  Or on your bed.  Because your bed is always better.  Some pet parents who have tried CBD supplements have noted that their pet is moving around like they did in their younger days.  Don’t you want your furry friend to move comfortably too?

Find the Best Pet CBD Supplements Today!

As a premium THC-Free CBD brand for both pets and pet parents, we here at Hand and Paw are pet parents passionate about making sure you and your pet live your best life.  When we learned that our stress can affect our pets, we crafted select premium CBD supplements designed for both pets and pet parents.  After all, why should you or your furry friend miss out on feeling better?

To learn more about how CBD can help you or your pet, check out Hand and Paw’s THC-Free CBD products at https://handandpaw.co/.  If you need help, we would be more than happy to help you choose the best CBD for you and your furry family members.  Ready to feel better?  Don’t miss out.  Get started today.  Shop now at https://handandpaw.co/ 

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[roguishlydangerous-achieved]

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

I would like to jump on the train of appreciation and give thanks to the wonderful people who have stayed with me and my muses despite my incompetent. The last year hasn’t been the easiest especially with the events going on with the city I live in. But here’s to a better decade!

@endlessdrifter​ I am glad I get to call this amazing person my friend. We have made so many stories, so many ships that I had to make a relationship map just to keep track. I have learnt so much from this person and got to explore elements that weren’t in my comfort zones. This year will be a good year for us and I am sure we still have millions of plots we haven’t done yet.

@tigerincahoots​ An amazing writer. His muses are unique and gravitating. Their settings are well thought and detailed. Definitely a writer I look up to and I look forward to write more with them. It’s more than enjoyable to learn more about his muses while we write together.

@legendmade​ A beautiful human being. Everyone loves Karter despite the fact that he is an ass. But the muse is the real gem. I can’t wait for my muses to go on more adventures with them!

@adsagsona​ One of the very first muns I write with. Kai and Alex have always been one of my favourite ships and Stephan, on the other hand, is just pure gem. I don’t write Kai and Dustin often anymore, but with Alex and Stephan? I look forward to seeing Kai and Dustin spending more time with them!

@walkerofwastes​ The mage who constantly tease on my poor vampire. I hope to see more development between Gideon and Derek because I am sure they both have many stories untold.

@ericbrandonrp​ Eric is such a great character. Angst, dorky, funny and adorable all in one. Not to mention the mun is incredibly nice and friendly. Watch out, because Edward is totally hooked on.

@ribbedxgloves​ The charming necromancer surely has charmed me. Our threads are on early stages but honestly, I can’t wait to dive more into the story and to find out more about Brent!

@thc-wrong-side-of-heaven​ I didn’t think I will see Billy wanting to hug anyone else other than Chris, but he will totally hug Em when it’s socially acceptable by his standard. Hope to write more stories with them! You go, daddy Em.

Also special shoutouts to:

@lotcria @theimpalpable @thewhitepoison @pieceintheirgxmes @iiiongxntxch @maleshaven @theadoptedhale​ @enduringalpha​ @nctjusthumans​ I am grateful to have met you all. And again, I look forward to create more stories and ships with all of you. I love you all! Let 2020 be a great one for all of us! I am sorry if I miss out some people please forgive me I am terrible

[arecomicsevengood]

HOW MANY EYES DO YOU NEED TO SEE?

A few months ago, I was officially diagnosed with glaucoma. This was a good thing, inasmuch as I waiting for a diagnosis. A few months before I had seen the neuro-opthalmologist who gave this diagnosis, and prescribed eyedrops to begin a course of treatment, I had seen an opthalmologist who noted the high amounts of pressure in my eye, but gave me a referral to see another doctor instead, because my youth made glaucoma seem unlikely, and he wanted to check this pressure was not caused perhaps by a brain tumor inside my skull pressing against the back of my eyes.

You probably are a little unclear on what glaucoma is. It is most known, I believe, for being a condition that smoking weed helps. Before medical marijuana became legal and able to be prescribed for anxiety and depression and all the psychological conditions people had been using it to self-medicate for for years, glaucoma was a cited example of a condition whose effects were mitigated by smoking. When I explain that I have it to friends now, there usually comes a point at the end of the conversation where they bring it up. For what it’s worth, I hate smoking weed. I feel debilitated by it to do anything I enjoy, like write, or follow a conversation,  or accomplish tasks without being distracted. Most people who smoke a lot of weed will either tell me that the effects I have a problem with go away after steady smoking, and that I probably haven’t found the right strain yet. The act of getting to this point seems an unpleasant one, filled with physiological incapability. Of course, CBD is now basically sold as a cure-all that takes care of any bad feeling one might have, but it is apparently the effects of THC that take care of glaucoma.

Glaucoma is an increase of eye pressure. As you are aware, the eye is a soft orb of mucus membranes, and some duct or another regulates the release of a fluid into them, to keep that balloon-like sac inflated, essentially. I’m unclear on the exact details. In glacoma, the eye gets too filled up. Maybe this makes the eye bulge out a little, it does seem like what I’m describing would lead to a situation where the eye eventually explodes. But before that, the pressure of the eye presses on the optic nerve. When I had this explained to me, by an optometrist, who told me I was pre-glaucoma and I should go to an opthalmologist to get my eyes looked at. I thought I would experience this as physical pain. After I forgot about the appointment I had made, I anticipated I would experience pain and that was when I would need to go to a doctor. It turns out this is wrong, because the optic nerve isn’t really set up to register feeling, it’s set up to see things. So as the pressure wore on my optic nerve, moreso in my left eye than my right, my vision deteriorated. However, I didn’t notice, because I have two eyes, and together they form a composite image, and my right eye compensated. I would experience weird effects of light, sort of like there was a smudge on my glasses lens, and occasionally it would seem like what I was looking what had a crack in it and was bleeding light, but I didn’t really know how bad it was.

It was when I finally saw an opthalmologist, and in the checking to ensure my glasses’ prescription was correct, and he kept on switching out lenses and asking me if my vision was better or worse with each new one, I found I could not register any letters on the vision chart at all, that the whole field existed within a blank spot of blurred white light, that I realized how bad things had gotten. It was a scary day, certainly made worse by the physician’s suggestion I might have a brain tumor, and his general displeasure and frustration at the fact that I have an instinctual aversion to people approaching my eye to touch it, poke it, and administer eye drops. I am convinced this is a normal thing, but doctors often have God complexes, and apparently I was such a difficult patient that he refused to see me again afterwards. That’s neither here nor there in the story I want to tell, but I do hope he gets hit by a bus and killed.

Anyway, I have now seen a doctor that prescribed eye drops, and then I saw another doctor who prescribed still more eye drops, and I am broke enough to qualify for Medicaid so I haven’t paid for any of these things, so all of that is good, and while I’m concerned about how coronavirus will effect the ability of these prescriptions to get into the country it’s fine thus far. The doctor has made clear that all of these things, however, are really just to make sure my vision doesn’t become worse, that I don’t become totally blind, as far as they’re concerned, the damage done to the optic nerve is irreversible, and won’t be returning to where it was before, which was pretty bad, but at least able to be corrected by strong prescription corrective lenses.

Not covered by Medicaid are the lion’s mane mushrooms I have elected to take. Lion’s Mane, supposedly, stimulates nerve tissue growth. People take them for depression and “brain fog,” and so I had been toying with the idea of investigating them anyway, before I started to think that maybe they would help repair my optic nerve as well. I am well-aware that a lot of people consider any herbal remedies to be snake oil peddled by the likes of Alex Jones and Gwyneth Paltrow, but a bunch of my friends are hippies and herbalists, and the people so assuredly righteous in their politics often have deeply reactionary cultural opinions they are not interested in examining, lacking even the self-awareness to get offline and take deep breaths to make themselves feel better. I don’t consider Lion’s Mane a placebo in any way, but I also register the necessity of feeling hope and the grounding nature of a ritual such that I will probably continue to take it for a while even if there are not immediately noticeable effects.

I am interested in perception, cognition, and how brain chemistry dictates who we are. We are taught as children about the lobes of the brain, how the left brain is more analytical, and the right brain more emotional and intuitive. Ideally, we have easy connection between these two lobes, and when we see something, we are both able to tell what it is and feel a certain way about it. Writing about comics, I try to be as intuitive as I can, to pick up on things that are perhaps unconsciously present, to write about something other than the exact nature of the plot or how well-rendered a background is. It occurs to me that, since the left eye is processed by the right brain, I might be feeling the things I see less than I should. This is all theoretical. It does feel like it’s been ages since I’ve seen a movie that I felt particularly moved by, though it is easy to chalk this up to the cynicism of age. I am still capable of seeing the movie, the full page, still able to read and put the thing together in my brain; and at the same time, I’m placing everything into the larger context of my life, the same way everyone does. Even my favorite film of 2019, Uncut Gems, I didn’t find as nerve-racking as other people apparently did. Maybe that’s because I went in aware of a good deal of hype and other people were more surprised by it? There is really no way to know. The brain makes a composite image consisting not just of the two eyes, but everything else it’s taking in. I can perhaps attribute a certain hesitancy in my own writing to the lack of synchronized lobes taking in what they see, that rereading my own brain no longer gives me the weird floating feeling I used to get from it. I check that it makes sense and still feel like I am fighting uphill, and remain doubtful of everyone else’s writing. “”Why are you talking like this?” I ask of most sentences. Again, I would maybe be asking this anyway, most people are bad at writing, and it doesn’t take some sort of newfound autistic attentiveness to notice that.

All this connects to comics, and to the fact that I write about them. This sense that I am somehow impaired in my ability to read them, I don’t think anyone else would think if I didn’t bring it up, but I feel like I would be lying by omission not to mention. I disclose it in the name of honesty, even as I am on a certain level only articulating this anxiety to avoid the morbidity of talking about how my thoughts about perception, cognition, and the construction of the self apply to death, in this time of pandemic, when all of my or your or someone one or both of us love could have their entire brain go blank and no amount of adaptogens could reanimate it. (The past few days, I’ve also been drinking chaga and echinacea teas for the sake of my immune system.) And while I don’t think this issue with my eyes applies to written text as much as it does all the other forms the visual world can be arranged to convey information, if I am taking in the news in a less emotional way than other people, that is probably for the best.

[sasamdcu]

Poison Highvy

Pamela Isley/Selina Kyle/Harleen Quinzel Rated M for Mature - 1447 Words TW Drug usage

Crossposted on AO3

The Sirens get high and relax for the night. But like it's a shitpost. Selina centric because I just want her to be happy and with people who love her.

--------------------

Selina slides into the entry way of the small apartment, taking quick glances behind her to ensure she wasn’t being tailed before closing the door with her free foot. It wasn’t that she thought anyone was following her, it was more a force of habit, one like the evasion patterns she took back. These habits ensured that unless there was a team of at least five or more skilled watchers or one dedicated bat then no one would find the hideout the Siren’s were currently using. Batman didn’t need to follow her to find it, he already knew where it was located and didn’t seem to care as long as they didn’t cause any immediate trouble.

Locking the door Selina placed the large paper bag she was carrying down on the small black bench and plopped herself down beside it. Slowly she worked off her boots unlacing them and tugging them off. Groaning she stretched her latex clad foot and massaged it. Choosing high heels to be part of her aesthetic had it’s down side, especially after a long day and she silently thanked the stars that it was over and she could finally relax. Or at least she could as soon as she figured out why Harley had her pick up over 200 Chicken McNuggets™ on her way back.

Grabbing the bag of McDonalds™ once more she padded through the small kitchenette and out into the living room where she found Harley and Pamela lounging on separate corners of the couch, so slumped back it almost looked like they were sinking into it. Pamela was flicking through their Netflix™ account (That Harvey had been so kind to share when he got the family deal and only needed two for himself) though didn’t seem to be settling onto anything in particular, Harley meanwhile was flopped over the armrest giving Bud and Loud some ear scratches.

Harley noticed Selina enter first and grinned up at her with her big infectious smile, not the one she had when working for Joker meant to intimidate but one of genuine happiness.

“Hey, my favourite kitty’s here!” she drawled out her Brooklyn accent coming through thicker than usual.

“I’d better be, you know how people stare at you when you order 200 Chicken McNuggets™? It’s not pleasant I can tell you that much. Why do you even need so many?”

“Munchies.” Pamela replied without taking her eyes off the screen.

Selina nearly dropped the bag on the floor, something that Bud and Lou may have enjoyed but the rest of them would not have.

“Sorry I did not hear you right. You? Poison Ivy? Plant lover extraordinaire. Has Munchies?”

“’Bout sums it up.”

“You smoked Pot. You took a plant to your lips and lit it on hire?”

Pamela finally turned to face her looking aghast with terror.

“Selina, don’t even joke about that.”

“Then how the hell did the two of you get high? Some new pheromone concoction you were working on go wrong?” Selina pinched the bridge of her nose. This was just what she needed tonight, her two room mates conked out on what should have been a nice relaxing girl’s night in together.

It was at this point that Harley began whining and reaching for the bag.

“I prescribed her some medicinal Marijuana for when her connection with The Green becomes overwhelming for her senses. Now can you give us the dang Chickies already?”

Harley made a vicious swipe for the food but Selina pulled the bag out of her reach. Harley pouted and seemed to consider just getting up off the couching and going to take it from Selina but settled back down, arms crossed in a childish mimicry of anger.

“Not until you tell me what exactly is going on in here, if Pam didn’t smoke weed then how did you prescribe her any?”

“I realized with my body the way it is that I could just synthesize the equivalent THC levels in my body organically.” Pamela answered for them.

“Like a weed woman! No more Poison Ivy it’s Marijuana Mam!” Harley butted in much to Pamela’s exasperation, forgetting that she was supposed to be pretending to be angry with Selina.

“I told you I’m not changing my name to Marjiuana Mam, I want to save plants not legalize them.”

“But the alliteration-”

“Okay okay okay.” Selina cut off their banter. “I know Harley wouldn’t smoke any plants either for your sake so how did she get high then?”

“So funny thing about producing THC in my body, apparently it releases in my bodily fluids at extremely potent levels.”

“Okay. T. M. I. Sorry I asked.”

“I meant Saliva you kink obsessed bimbo. Though if you want to take it that way yes you could probably get high off my sweat or cum.”

Satisfied she finally had some idea of whatever the hell was currently going on Selina leaned over the couch between the two women and dropped the bag there for their taking. She was about to leave and retreat back to her own room to find a book or something to occupy the rest of her night alone when Pam grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

“Don’t you want to try?” She smirked.

“Try what?”

Pam leaned in close brushed her lips past Selina’s ear. “A hit of course. Don’t you want to kiss me?”

It wasn’t a real question. Selina caught Pam’s gaze as she pulled back to stare into her eyes. Slowly she let the other woman pull her in to a deep kiss. As their skin met Selina felt her lips buzz and she let herself be guided deeper into the kiss, let her lips part and Pamela’s tongue enter. It was intoxicating. Literally.

When Selina finally pulled back her lungs screamed and her thoughts jumbled for a moment and then seemed to ooze back into focus. She let Pamela guide her back into a second kiss, and was unsure if the light-headedness she was feeling was from lack of oxygen or the dope saliva. As they broke off a second time she realized she was purring, something she’d started doing as a joke to fit her moniker but had soon become a real habit she just couldn’t seem to quit. Harley loved it and she could already hear her snickering behind her.

“I told you it’s good. How’s it feel getting a little Poison Highvy?” Harley crooned slapping the side of the couch and chortling at her own joke.

“Please no.” Pamela sighed already accepting the new pun she’d have to put up with for the foreseeable future.

Once Harley’s snickering faded she beckoned Selina onto the couch between the two of them, moving the McNuggets™ to the small coffee table adjacent. Selina allowed herself to languidly slide over the rest of the back and twisted to fall sprawled across her room mate’s laps, her head resting on Harley’s thighs.

“Yes?” She continued to purr.

“I haven’t had my turn yet.” Harley bent down to steal a kiss of her own from Selina’s lips.

“Now how about you find something fun to watch while I get at these nugs. Then once we’re done me and Pamela can show you some of the other neat things she’s being coming up with.” “It’s vine tentacles but they’re part of my own body instead of just through the green.” Pam stated bluntly.

“And you call me the kink obsessed bimbo.” Selina’s voice came out deep and sultry now, melding into the low rumbling hum she continued to make.

“You do insist on wearing the skintight latex catsuit and those horrendously high heels.” To make her point she began kneading and massaging Selina’s feet, savouring the sigh of delight it elicited from her.

“You like it though don’t you?”

“Mmmm that we do.” Harley replied tracing her finger over Selina’s should and playing with the partly unzipped edges of her suit. “We’ll show you how much AFTER we eat. Priorities.”

Priorities were quickly forgotten halfway through the McNuggets™ as they ended up on watching old episodes of Totally Spies™ and got so into calling out and bashing it for it’s weird PG rated kink content that they completely lost track of time, eventually falling asleep without ever moving from their spots. The next morning Pamela would make the executive decision to only occasionally let her body produce THC as after a small kiss good morning the three conked out for another consecutive session aimless lounging and bad cartoons. Bud and Lou had gotten into the leftover McNuggets™ throughout the night and it would double decided that they would never let them near McDonalds™ again. Harley came up with another dozen weed puns before they finally called the whole thing off completely.

[wisdomfish]

Of course, he was high, been smoking pot his whole life.

Berenson begins his book with an account of a conversation he had with his wife, a psychiatrist who specializes in treating mentally ill criminals. They were discussing one of the many grim cases that cross her desk—“the usual horror story, somebody who’d cut up his grandmother or set fire to his apartment.” Then his wife said something like “Of course, he was high, been smoking pot his whole life.”

Of course? I said.

Yeah, they all smoke.

Well . . . other things too, right?

Sometimes. But they all smoke.

Berenson used to be an investigative reporter for the Times, where he covered, among other things, health care and the pharmaceutical industry. Then he left the paper to write a popular series of thrillers. At the time of his conversation with his wife, he had the typical layman’s view of cannabis, which is that it is largely benign. His wife’s remark alarmed him, and he set out to educate himself. Berenson is constrained by the same problem the National Academy of Medicine faced—that, when it comes to marijuana, we really don’t know very much. But he has a reporter’s tenacity, a novelist’s imagination, and an outsider’s knack for asking intemperate questions. The result is disturbing.

The first of Berenson’s questions concerns what has long been the most worrisome point about cannabis: its association with mental illness. Many people with serious psychiatric illness smoke lots of pot. The marijuana lobby typically responds to this fact by saying that pot-smoking is a response to mental illness, not the cause of it—that people with psychiatric issues use marijuana to self-medicate. That is only partly true. In some cases, heavy cannabis use does seem to cause mental illness. As the National Academy panel declared, in one of its few unequivocal conclusions, “Cannabis use is likely to increase the risk of developing schizophrenia and other psychoses; the higher the use, the greater the risk.”

Berenson thinks that we are far too sanguine about this link. He wonders how large the risk is, and what might be behind it. In one of the most fascinating sections of “Tell Your Children,” he sits down with Erik Messamore, a psychiatrist who specializes in neuropharmacology and in the treatment of schizophrenia. Messamore reports that, following the recent rise in marijuana use in the U.S. (it has almost doubled in the past two decades, not necessarily as the result of legal reforms), he has begun to see a new kind of patient: older, and not from the marginalized communities that his patients usually come from. These are otherwise stable middle-class professionals. Berenson writes, “A surprising number of them seemed to have used only cannabis and no other drugs before their breaks. The disease they’d developed looked like schizophrenia, but it had developed later—and their prognosis seemed to be worse. Their delusions and paranoia hardly responded to antipsychotics.”

Messamore theorizes that THC may interfere with the brain’s anti-inflammatory mechanisms, resulting in damage to nerve cells and blood vessels. Is this the reason, Berenson wonders, for the rising incidence of schizophrenia in the developed world, where cannabis use has also increased? In the northern parts of Finland, incidence of the disease has nearly doubled since 1993. In Denmark, cases have risen twenty-five per cent since 2000. In the United States, hospital emergency rooms have seen a fifty-per-cent increase in schizophrenia admissions since 2006. If you include cases where schizophrenia was a secondary diagnosis, annual admissions in the past decade have increased from 1.26 million to 2.1 million.

Berenson’s second question derives from the first. The delusions and paranoia that often accompany psychoses can sometimes trigger violent behavior. If cannabis is implicated in a rise in psychoses, should we expect the increased use of marijuana to be accompanied by a rise in violent crime, as Berenson’s wife suggested? Once again, there is no definitive answer, so Berenson has collected bits and pieces of evidence. For example, in a 2013 paper in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, researchers looked at the results of a survey of more than twelve thousand American high-school students. The authors assumed that alcohol use among students would be a predictor of violent behavior, and that marijuana use would predict the opposite. In fact, those who used only marijuana were three times more likely to be physically aggressive than abstainers were; those who used only alcohol were 2.7 times more likely to be aggressive. Observational studies like these don’t establish causation. But they invite the sort of research that could.

Berenson looks, too, at the early results from the state of Washington, which, in 2014, became the first U.S. jurisdiction to legalize recreational marijuana. Between 2013 and 2017, the state’s aggravated-assault rate rose seventeen per cent, which was nearly twice the increase seen nationwide, and the murder rate rose forty-four per cent, which was more than twice the increase nationwide. We don’t know that an increase in cannabis use was responsible for that surge in violence. Berenson, though, finds it strange that, at a time when Washington may have exposed its population to higher levels of what is widely assumed to be a calming substance, its citizens began turning on one another with increased aggression.

His third question is whether cannabis serves as a gateway drug. There are two possibilities. The first is that marijuana activates certain behavioral and neurological pathways that ease the onset of more serious addictions. The second possibility is that marijuana offers a safer alternative to other drugs: that if you start smoking pot to deal with chronic pain you never graduate to opioids.

Which is it? This is a very hard question to answer. We’re only a decade or so into the widespread recreational use of high-potency marijuana. Maybe cannabis opens the door to other drugs, but only after prolonged use. Or maybe the low-potency marijuana of years past wasn’t a gateway, but today’s high-potency marijuana is. Methodologically, Berenson points out, the issue is complicated by the fact that the first wave of marijuana legalization took place on the West Coast, while the first serious wave of opioid addiction took place in the middle of the country. So, if all you do is eyeball the numbers, it looks as if opioid overdoses are lowest in cannabis states and highest in non-cannabis states.

Not surprisingly, the data we have are messy. Berenson, in his role as devil’s advocate, emphasizes the research that sees cannabis as opening the door to opioid use. For example, two studies of identical twins—in the Netherlands and in Australia—show that, in cases where one twin used cannabis before the age of seventeen and the other didn’t, the cannabis user was several times more likely to develop an addiction to opioids. Berenson also enlists a statistician at N.Y.U. to help him sort through state-level overdose data, and what he finds is not encouraging: “States where more people used cannabis tended to have more overdoses.”

The National Academy panel is more judicious. Its conclusion is that we simply don’t know enough, because there haven’t been any “systematic” studies. But the panel’s uncertainty is scarcely more reassuring than Berenson’s alarmism. Seventy-two thousand Americans died in 2017 of drug overdoses. Should you embark on a pro-cannabis crusade without knowing whether it will add to or subtract from that number?

Drug policy is always clearest at the fringes. Illegal opioids are at one end. They are dangerous. Manufacturers and distributors belong in prison, and users belong in drug-treatment programs. The cannabis industry would have us believe that its product, like coffee, belongs at the other end of the continuum. “Flow Kana partners with independent multi-generational farmers who cultivate under full sun, sustainably, and in small batches,” the promotional literature for one California cannabis brand reads. “Using only organic methods, these stewards of the land have spent their lives balancing a unique and harmonious relationship between the farm, the genetics and the terroir.” But cannabis is not coffee. It’s somewhere in the middle. The experience of most users is relatively benign and predictable; the experience of a few, at the margins, is not. Products or behaviors that have that kind of muddled risk profile are confusing, because it is very difficult for those in the benign middle to appreciate the experiences of those at the statistical tails. Low-frequency risks also take longer and are far harder to quantify, and the lesson of “Tell Your Children” and the National Academy report is that we aren’t yet in a position to do so. For the moment, cannabis probably belongs in the category of substances that society permits but simultaneously discourages. Cigarettes are heavily taxed, and smoking is prohibited in most workplaces and public spaces. Alcohol can’t be sold without a license and is kept out of the hands of children. Prescription drugs have rules about dosages, labels that describe their risks, and policies that govern their availability. The advice that seasoned potheads sometimes give new users—“start low and go slow”—is probably good advice for society as a whole, at least until we better understand what we are dealing with.

~ Malcolm Gladwell

[dxlansfxck]

Saints & SINS [G.D] part 3

Y/N went straight to bed without talking to Grayson, without trying to solve their problem. She even woke up an hour before him and went into the classroom without him. She was the first one there, which gave her more than enough time to think about yesterday. Grayson never came to class, the seat next to the pretty girl was empty the entire day. Everything was like before, when there was no weird but attractive boy in her life. The only thing that has been changed were her thoughts, running back to last night, back to his hands roaming her body and soon enough, she was squirming in her seat, groaning in frustration. She couldn’t help but start drawing Grayson, his messy hair, wide grin and red, sad eyes.

She knew it was right to end what happened, it was just the weed that made her kiss him. She shouldn’t have smoked in the first place, like her parents always told her. But she had to admit that the kiss turned her on, even thinking about it now made her wet again.

“Y/L/N, I’m talking to you, don’t you listen?”, the weak voice of her teacher drags Y/N out of her daydreaming, while she was trying to find out what they were talking about. “I wanted to know which disorders of the synapsis exist?” “The synapsis can be damaged by, among other things, strokes or Lyme disease. But you can also loss of synapses by age or health differences”, Y/N rolls her eyes, sinking back into her fantasies.

After lunch, she went straight back into her room, where Grayson was lying on his back, surrounded by smoke. He of course had her entire attention while she placed down her bag and opened the tie around her neck. He’s just laying there, eyes closed and listening to music, yet looking like a Greek god. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and Y/N could finally concentrate on the tattoos around his chest, which was completely hairless. Her feet dragged her to his nightstand, where the rest of his joint was laying in an ashtray. Without looking at him, she took it and inhaled a few times before taking the ashtray to her desk, the joint still between her lips.  “You could’ve asked instead of stealing my weed, y’know? But I guess it’s how it is, you take what you want before realizing you don’t really need it, huh?”, his groggy voice made her shriek, yet send tingles through her entire body.

“Oh, I’m sorry, if I knew you were awake, I wouldn’t have taken it. Well, I need to do my homework anyways.” “Mh, sure.” The THC starts to work his way into her brain so that she needed to repeat every other sentence before giving in and laying down onto her bed with Kodaline in her headphones.

She automatically looks over to Grayson, listening to the lyrics and comparing them to her life so far. He had changed her the past few days. She smokes weed. She made out with a guy. The thing is, she didn’t mind it at all. It was different than the world she was born into, different than the secret kisses she shared with some of her friends so far. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t even notice Grayson’s gaze. Her heart cramps as she saw his sad expression and the frown he had. She didn’t want to see him suffering, wanted him to be happy. The music touches her inside, the bottom of her heart, and she was able to feel anything. Closing her eyes, she allows to let herself sink deeper into the music and away from Grayson.

“Y/N, don’t act like you’re sleeping now. I’m not that stupid, if you don’t want to talk, then leave it. But don’t ignore me”, she hasn’t noticed that Grayson was now sitting next to her, but she had so many questions to ask him. Sighing, she sat up and started to chew on her lips, biting on the dead skin and pulling it off. She didn’t want to start talking, but mostly didn’t want to give him another reason to be mad.

“’m sorry, Gray”, she mumbled, not daring to look up at him. He just looks down at her, confused but grinning. “We nearly fucked and all you’ve gotta say is that you’re sorry? You’re so brave, angel.” The ‘angel’ rolls her eyes in annoyance and stands up, walking to her desk and tries to get more distance in between them. Grayson just groans, holding her wrists and pulling her back into his chest. “No, Y/N. We really need to talk. Not even a Junkie like me could forget about this”, he looks at her with his big brown eyes and she furrows her eyebrows. What did he say? Junkie? All he does is smoking weed, just like most teens would. “Grayson..” He just shakes his head at me.

“I’m talking. You sit down so I can start. You don’t really know how fucked up I am, angel. Why I landed here. Y’know, in the past, I drank a lot, but I always hated the aftermath. I thought weed would be the best option. Well, I got kicked out of high school ‘cause I was always stoned, never came to school and didn’t do anything. Well and because I fucked one of the teachers, but never mind that. I tried to experience everything, especially with my sexuality. I had lots of meetings with my clique where we all just fucked. Girls, boys, girls, girls, boys, boys. Name it, I had it. Y’know, sex with guys… It’s just so different and I preferred it over girls, but since I saw you, it seemed to change again.

Anyways, my mom found out what I was doing, so she sent me into some kind of drug cleanse camp ‘cause she wanted me to get off the weed. In the camp, I met this guy which had lots of pills and ‘cause we couldn’t smoke, we took those instead. We swallowed one trip after another and when I came home, I never stopped. Of course I had to tell my friends about it and soon we started to take whatever pills.  One day, we didn’t get the effect we wanted to, so one of us brought cocaine and crack. I took coke too often, my nose never stopped bleeding and I had lots of problems to breath because it was completely crusty. I never dared taking crack tho, I knew how the junkies looked like and I didn’t want to end up like them.

When my best friend’s grandma came into the hospital ‘cause of cancer, she got lots of morphine and fentanyl plasters to help her pain. Well, he stole them. We were one step closer to our end. I took coke to party and fentanyl to calm down afterwards. Ethan, my twin brother then brought H to us. He smoked it through a Dr. Pepper can, of course we knew what he was doing. Just a few days later, I found him dead because some fucking idiot sold him dirty H. Ever since, I stopped doing most drugs except for weed.”

His gaze finally met hers and she could tell he was scared of her reaction. She couldn’t help herself to hug him, let some of her tears break free and give him the warmth he had probably missed forever. But now she knew what she wanted, him, his life. To experience exactly what he had experienced.

Y/N hasn’t said anything the past few minutes, so she had to clear her throat before starting to talk. “Grayson, I… I don’t know what to say or how to react. I mean, it’s great you didn’t do hard drugs, what happened to your twin… It would’ve broken anyone. You stayed strong, that’s what counts. I guess nothing bad can happen when you’re just smoking weed. Besides that, I’m with you now and you know, I’m sorry. I mean, I enjoyed this kissing situation, but it was my first time kissing a guy. My parents always taught me it’s a sin to do anything like this before marriage. I really didn’t want to hurt you, I just didn’t know how to react, okay? Maybe we could just take things slow, yea?” She rubbed circles on his back, trying to calm both of them down.

“Sure, angel, it’s your decision, I’m already glad you accept me the way I am. I just acted like this ‘cause I thought you’d like it too. I mean, you obviously did, but I guess next time I’ll ask before just attacking you, I’m not the devil, y’know?” He Grayson chuckles and to Y/N, it sounded like heaven. He doesn’t usually laugh besides his cocky smirk, and it really made her happy to be the one that could cheer him up. “Am I even allowed to say the d-word in here?” “Dunno, but you’ve had sex with boys, you’ll end up in hell anyway. By the way, were you top or bottom?”, Y/N laughed, but still curious about the man in front of her.

“Ouch, angel, that hurt. Would you really consider me being bottom? But it would be a shame to waste the half-smoked joint, would you please finish it with me, my lady?” How could anyone ever say no to this beautiful man? Y/N shakes her head, laughing before grabbing the glimstick between her lips. They decided to stay in bed the entire day, smoking and kissing here and there, being lost into each other and the stories they had to tell until they fell asleep curled into each other.

 The next weeks went by much quicker than anyone would’ve thought, exams came and went by, there weren’t lots of lessons Grayson & Y/N spent clean, but their pocket money couldn’t buy them as much weed as they soon needed, which brought them to different kinds of medicine, to keep them high enough. This way, they took antidepressants to get rid of their low. The time came and they were already taking pills for breakfast, just to ‘survive boring lessons’, to get through the morning before smoking their first joint for lunch. They were never arguing, just laying in bed, making out and whispering sweet words to each other. They haven’t had sex yet, Y/N just wasn’t ready for it and Grayson accepted it. He was just a generous boyfriend, taking care of his angel. Y/N knew she loved him, but sometimes her mind wanders off to his past, high thoughts running through her head.

Grayson kissing other guys, while she was alone in her room.

Grayson fucking other girls, because she wasn’t ready for him.

Grayson cumming into other guys and girls, because she couldn’t fulfill his lust.

Of course, she knows they weren’t in a serious relationship so far, Grayson said those don’t really exist between stoners, but Y/N didn’t want other people to fuck the guy she was currently hooking up with. She was never the jealous type, but Grayson was supposed to be hers. In his opinion, he could do whatever he wants with other boys and girls, but as soon as she looks at some boy in class, he would get angry and stop talking to her for the rest of the day, leaving her behind in their room. Especially those days where the meds weren’t enough to share, they were angry at each other but would end up in bed, kissing and excusing themselves.

Those days, she liked to say that she was independent. Today, she can only laugh about this tragedy that was happening, because all she felt wasn’t real. She was just in love with the drugs he gave her.