#non-commercial going both way here

[b4kuch1n]

hey. just woke up and drank a giant cup of milk&coffee.

[kaijutegu]

Happy Valentine's Day! When you think about love and the animal kingdom, are alligators an animal that comes to mind? No? Well, they should be, because they have some of the most interesting courtship behavior of any non-bird. (Bird displays are something else entirely.) I think it's time that you all are introduced to the Big Gay Alligator Sex Study, more properly known as Courtship Behavior of American Alligators (Alligator mississipiensis), written by Kent Vliet. You can get the paper at the link below!

This was a study done over a 3-year period in the 80s with a population of captive American alligators to look at how they interacted. Alligators are incredibly social and have complex behavioral dynamics, and their courtship rituals and routines are pretty dang interesting. In general, crocodilians spend a great deal of time interacting with each other when compared to other reptiles, and the courtship behavior of a few species is well-documented. But in this post, I'm mostly going to talk about the American alligator (with a quick detour into Cuban crocs).

Why Do We Care About Courtship?

So before I dive into talking about this study, let's talk about why we care about courtship (the social behavior that leads to mating) and mating (sexual interaction that could, hypothetically, lead to reproduction). Courtship and mating are extremely important when studying animal behavior- honestly, they're extremely important when studying zoology in general. In some cases, understanding this behavior actually a major conservation concern! For example, the Cuban crocodile is an endangered species. They're largely constricted to two swampy areas of Cuba, both of which also have American crocodiles present. And unfortunately, the female Cuban crocs find the male American crocs really, really sexy. This is a big problem, because with only about 3-4,000 Cuban crocs left in the wild (possibly even fewer), they need to be breeding with their own species to make more Cubanitos.

These. Make more of them.

But what scientists have found is that not only are there hybrid crocs in the wild, the Cuban population of American crocodiles is more closely related to Cuban crocodiles than other populations of American crocodiles, suggesting this has been going on for a very long time.

You can read more about that here if you want, but back to the gay alligators.

Alligator? More Like Alli-GAY-tor, amiright?

(actually that IS wrong it's more like alli-bisexual-tor, but that doesn't sound like alligator)

So how does a study like this happen? Back in the 80s, the American population was Feeling A Way about alligators. Something that you gotta understand when you're doing any kind of conservation is that people protect what they love, and they love what they understand. Alligators are a major conservation success story today- there's millions in the wild- but they were in serious danger of extinction in the 1960s, and it was a combination of legislation, awareness campaigns, and captive breeding at both zoological parks and commercial gator farms that helped bring them back. As a result, they were one of the first species to be de-listed from the ESA!

All of this attention meant that alligator science was flourishing in the late 70s and 80s, and that's where this study comes into being. This post is long enough so I'm not gonna go into all the details and methodology- you can find that in the paper I linked up top!

However, there is one piece of methodology we should talk about, and that's the choice of study population. It's part of what makes this particular study so interesting!. See, in a lot of cases, captive behavior really differs from wild behavior. This can be impacted by captivity conditions- what other animals the study animal has access to, what behaviors the animal has learned in captivity, even down to things like how the animals are fed. For example, some courtship behavior in captive animals can be the result of unnatural habitat conditions or limited social groupings. If you only have access to a couple of conspecifics, you don't have the same choices that you do if you have access to something closer to a wild population. If you've got a breeding group with one male and a handful of females, you can't ask or answer any questions about male/male interactions! Crowding is also an issue- too many animals in a space can be stressful, and lead to atypical sexual behavior.

But that's one of the cool elements of this study: the alligators in question live in a large social group in a lagoon that's basically just natural habitat with a boardwalk going around it. It's about as close to studying a wild population as you can get, with the advantage that it's far more accessible. And what this leads to is that that the researchers were able to see a really wide range of behavior, because all of the alligators had lots of access to lots of different mates. They were able to make choices that you wouldn't see in a smaller group. There's a trade-off that Vliet notes, and that is the population density and captive situation means that results might not quite work out the way they do in the wild- but in the years since, the results of the study have been vindicated with research into wild populations.

So, what are alligators into? Gay sex, group sex, yelling real loud, and lots and lots of... gentle caressing.

that's not a euphemism they spend a lot of time gently rubbing each others' faces

So first things first, it turns out that the vast majority of alligator mounting, which occurs after courtship behaviors like jaw rubbing, bellowing, head rubbing, and swimming together is male/male. Over the three year study period, an average of 68% of all sexual interactions were male/male. However, what they don't really notice is exclusivity, because when it comes to the sex of their sex partner, alligators... well. They aren't all that picky.

Another fascinating aspect of alligator courtship is what's called courtship groups. These are readily observed in captive settings (and in the wild, too, as mentioned in Dragon Songs), and are mixed-sex groups that spontaneously form. As other alligators approach a mounting pair, the original pair will happily split up and switch partners. Usually what happens is that the alligator on top slides off to initiate courtship with a newly-arrived individual. What's really interesting here is that, as the author notes, "males engaged in courtship with a female readily terminate that interaction and initiate interactions with males." Another fun element of alligator courtship is that while in most vertebrates, males approach females, alligator females often approach males. Usually it's the males approaching, but for many crocodilians, courtship initiation is an equal-opportunity affair.

Alligators are also really vocal during courtship! This is pretty unusual for a reptile- usually they're a quiet bunch. But crocodilians are pretty chatty. And during the breeding season, something pretty spectacular happens: infrasonic communication, better known as bellowing. This is sometimes called water dancing, due to the ripple patterns it makes. It's a loud, low-pitched rumble that conveys information about size and location, and is used for territorial displays and as a mating call. During the not-breeding season, a bellow means "stay away!" During the breeding season, it means "HOT ALLIGATOR SINGLES IN YOUR AREA."

Here's some pretty spectacular videos showing you what this looks and sounds like. The vibrations make the water above their backs splash up.

Alligators are also extremely tactile during courtship. The study has detailed analysis of touch in specific tactile zones along the head and neck of the alligators. Vliet notes "These sites have increased numbers of swollen pustular scale organs, the function of which is unknown."

What's kinda funny about this to me is that now, the functions of these organs are known- they're highly innervated tissues that help alligators detect prey in murky water. An alligator's jaws are more sensitive than a human fingertip due to the sheer number of nerve endings! So of course these areas are going to be highly sensitive, and to me it makes perfect sense that they feature so heavily in courtship.

So what can we take away from this 40-year-old study? Quite a bit! First, it's a great reminder that humans aren't special. We see same-sex mating behavior in pretty much every species we look at. We see it in cockroaches, spiders, and butterflies. We see it in sheep. We see it in alligators. We see it in every other species of great ape. Of course we also see it in humans! There's nothing that special about same-sex sexual behavior. It's a part of... pretty much everybody's evolutionary history.

Another thing I think is really important is that while this is an old study, it was absolutely pivotal as a turning point in helping people understand alligators. Remember how I said earlier that we protect what we love, and we love what we understand? This study showed the world that alligators weren't just mindless eating machines. They're socially complex! Understanding alligator sociality and how they choose mates and interact helped us care for them better. It told us more about how to keep them happy in captivity. Alligators are smart, communicative creatures. They don't always get along, but they don't always fight, either. (Don't get me wrong: they will fight each other, and they've actually evolved some pretty specific anti-other-alligator defenses... but they don't always fight, even during the breeding season.) This is interesting to me because in mammals, it's hypothesized that same-sex sexual behavior may have evolved for prosocial reasons; that is, it helps reduce conflicts. Perhaps it does the same for alligators.

In conclusion:

If you want to know more about alligator courtship and mating rituals, I can't recommend Vladimir Dinets's Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure Among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations highly enough. I know I talk about this book all the time, but it's easily the most accessible writing on crocodilian social behavior. It will change the way you think about and understand these animals.

Another phenomenal book is Alligators: The Illustrated Guide to Their Biology, Behavior, and Conservation by Kent Vliet. (Hm, wonder if he's written anything else...) This is basically the Bible for gator behavior. The photographs are absolutely gorgeous, too.

[gottagobuycheese]

HEY! YOU!

You've probably heard by now, but from March 4th to 10th 2024, Help Gaza Children will be sending all their donations to families in northern Gaza, where food prices have skyrocketed even more than in the south. Their goal is $25K by the end of the week; at the time of writing this post, it's about halfway a quarter way there! (OG post about it) [EDIT: my mistake, I misinterpreted the numbers in the original post; evidently I cannot do arithmetic anymore]

This is their notion site, which has their donation link as well as additional info, their FAQ, important updates, and proof of purchases from donations they’ve gotten in the past. You can also donate directly to their paypal here.

As such, I'll be open for sketch commissions up from now (March 7th, 2024 ~02:20 PST) through March 10th in exchange for proof of donation to Help Gaza Children!

BASIC OVERVIEW:

Tier 1 - Basic head/bust sketch for $1-5 USD, +50% for basic color. Up to 3 characters.

Tier 2 - Basic screencap resketch for $5-15 USD, +50% for basic color.

Tier 3 - Posed sketch for $15-25 USD, 1-2 characters ONLY.

Tier 4 - Colored clean sketch: $25+ USD, 1-2 characters ONLY.

RULES:

Please provide a visual reference or detailed description of the character(s) you want drawn (and depending on the tier, a screencap or pose/expression you want to go with it)

DO'S: OCs, humans and human-like creatures, other creatures that don't have a lot of mechanical or anatomical detail (as in, I can TRY to do mecha stuff, but I think you and I will both be better of if I don't lol; can ask for further details)

DON'T'S: any NSFW stuff, real people currently alive (as in, historical figures in the setting of historical fiction may be okay, but other things may not be; can ask for further details)

If you've made your donation in a currency that is not USD, I'll give you something of equivalent value according to the tier based on whatever the conversion is at the time that I look it up. If one or both of our economies crashes spectacularly in between the time you send it and the time I look it up, I'm very sorry in advance

DISCLAIMER 1: I reserve the right to decline a commission for any reason; however, if this ends up being the case, I may reach out to you to see if we can come up with a middle ground that suits us both.

DISCLAIMER 2: I don't anticipate being able to do a lot of these, as I've got a full-time job that's in the ballpark ~80+ hours a week with really weird hours. That being said, depending on how far this goes, turnaround time will probably be ~2-3 months, give or take...something. I'll update you monthly until it's done.

FOR PERSONAL, NON-COMMERCIAL USE ONLY!

If you're interested in nabbing a sketch from me in exchange for your donation, email a screenshot (devoid of any personal info please) of your donation receipt and details of your sketch request (e.g. reference, tier, etc.) to gottagobuycheese@gmail.com. For your donation to count for a sketch, it must be made after I wrote this post! (March 7, 2024 ~02:20 A.M. PST)

If you are NOT interested in nabbing a sketch from me, feel free to donate anyway!!

(And if you've got any questions about anything feel free to email, DM, or send an ask!)

[seamsterslocal]

summer binder picture tutorial

this is the third binder ive made for myself recently and the first one i’m writing up. it’s designed to do a few things: 1) allow me to put it on by myself without dislocating my shoulders 2) allow me to breathe well enough to partake in normal activity 3) be cool enough to wear throughout a muggy 90-100F summer 4) not constrict my ribs in a way that aggravates my lack of connective tissue and causes intense pain.

this has become necessary even though i had top surgery many years ago, because when i had it i was extremely skinny and since then i’ve increased in size by about 50%. this has been really fucking good for my health in every single way* except that when my chest is squishy or moves at all it’s So Goddamn Triggering for me. but also since ive had top surgery ive developed and/or been made away of a plethora of chronic conditions that make every single commercially available binding option medically impossible. unbound, my chest is pretty much what you’d expect for a chubby cis guy but venturing out into the world in just a tshirt no longer works for me

*anyone who badmouths weight gain or fat bodies in the notes WILL be blocked

under the cut are a bunch of process pictures and explanations of what they all mean:

first i’ll give you a look at the pieces and measurements:

most of the seams are sewn in this picture and one half is turned inside out, allowing you to see both the finished dimensions (right) and the placement of the fusible horsehair canvas that gives this lil scrap of linen any structure at all (left)

to get your chest measurement, you’re gonna have to do some math:

first measure above and below what you want to bind. average these numbers. mine are something like 32 and 34, which average to 33. subtract a few inches--this is to allow the air movement between the laces at center front and back, critical in the summertime. i deleted 3 inches bc i like that number but you can go bigger if you want. the more inches you subtract here, the more youll be able to ratchet all your chest material down later, but at the same time you need to leave enough fabric for a sturdy garment. let’s say a range of 2-6 inches/5-15cm. by taking your measurements this way, you’re essentially measuring the chest you would like to have. that + the horsehair canvas work together to compress any squishy tissue/force anything that doesnt compress up and to the outside (basically into the armpit/lower shoulder--the chest might stick out but it will give a very puffed chest captain america pectoral silhouette)

you can also see how ive clipped my curves and pre-drilled my lacing holes. i used the marlin spike on my knife to open up the holes on the interfacing side, mainly as a way of marking them. this worked well bc the interfacing’s glue kept the linen from raveling

this is the same stage but looking at the non-interfaced grey linen/cotton blend (the black is some 100% linen from my cabbage stash). you can see ive broken the solar-plexus-to-back measurement up into a bunch of pieces to save on fabric but that’s not necessary. my original pattern was just two pieces (front and back) and chopping the straps into thirds on both sides was aesthetic

in the following picture you can really see how this is really just overgrown regency stays:

i thought about doing side lacing but didn’t think that would be comfortable for me. on the front, the side seam allowance was pressed inwards before turning to create a finished looking slot. on the back the side seam is left unfinished with an extra wide seam allowance, and is inserted into that slot.

here’s a closeup on it pinned in place (you can adjust the angle of the side seam and the fit during this pinning stage):

that side seam was just topstitched in place once i had the fit how i liked it, and the armhole was reinforced with more topstitching

alright, time for eyelets: first, you can see how well the marking worked:

next, two rows of basted eyelets (left), one row of eyelets sewn with a doubled and waxed cotton thread (center right), and one row of eyelets opened and stainless steel rings placed (right).

next time i’m going to mark the eyelets same as i did above, but do this step differently--i’ll mark and baste the steel rings in place BEFORE widening the eyelets. this is bc i had a lot of problems keeping the eyelets on center

eyelets half done on this one! on the left are eyelets sewn with doubled and waxed cotton thread and on the right eyelets sewn with quadrupled and waxed thread. the center is basting again. i was able to force the holes back in line while sewing the eyelets but it was kinda annoying. adding a second picture that doesnt have great focus but hopefully shows how that process worked and shows the spike clearly

i ended up using this white cotton thread because it’s stronger than my black cotton thread (which the rest of it is sewn with). [eta: after this was first posted, i pressed the whole thing heavily, which effectively de-waxed the thread, and i dyed the whole thing a medium charcoal grey, the thread blends in perfectly on the lighter side and isn’t such a sore thumb on the darker side]

bonus: the piecing layout for that little piece of strap. the whole light gray half of the binder was made from 1/2 of one of the legs i cut off some linen suit pants to make slutty camping shorts last year and i really really didn’t want to break into any of the other three halves for this garment--i have Plans for it

overall the fit of this is incredible. it DOESNT hurt my ribs which every zip-up garment ive been able to find (and it is difficult) does due to really thick elastic at the base. it doesnt aggravate my sensory issues with the synthetic fibers that every commercial option is made of. i can walk up a hill or stairs, or go to pt, without getting too out of breath. i can eat with it tight, or loosen the front easily and without taking it off to make eating easier and less nausea-inducing. it is reversible!

best of all the lacing at the back gives the garment enough movement for me to get it on without dislocating, and the interfacing and steel rings give it structure once it’s on. the shaping comes only from fusible horsehair linen canvas and stainless steel rings like youd use for chainmail, there’s no boning at all, which makes it very quick to sew (except the eyelets, but metal grommets would be sturdy and quick provided theyre of good quality)

there’s a small amount of gaping on the outside of the shoulder strap, which i plan on fixing with a tiny tiny dart in the armpit, i want to add pockets to tuck the laces into, and i need a better lace for the back, but it’s completely wearable in time for the 90 weather next week which is all i wanted. i’ll do a reblog when it’s perfectly finished with an update on the fit but for now it is done enough 

the little ridge where it doesnt lay flat against the shoulder is most visible with just a single t shirt over it. with a flannel or a sweater, it disappears, and by itself, it’s hidden in movement

eta: after dyeing this, i relaced it a bit looser in the back and that gape mainly disappeared. ive decided to leave it in instead of smoothing it with a dart because the loose fabric gives space for my chest to expand when breathing and shapes my silhouette in a way that emphasizes my shoulders

[beansprean]

Hii!! Just wanted to ask how you get your poses on characters just flow so naturally? Is it like 2nd nature to you or does it take a really long time to get the poses right and natural? Bcs i've always struggled with that

Just wanted to ask since I really love the way you draw poses and perspective!! (Might be a weird complements but yeah sksnsksosj)

DJGGJHGIG ANON MY LOVE......YOU ARE SO SWEET

its DEF not 2nd nature lol ive been drawing for over 20 yrs now and still struggle with stiffness and line weight and foreshortening on a lot of poses. the best advice i have is to USE REFERENCES!! draw parallel to them, trace a sketch model over them to work off of, cut them up and splice them together to get closer to whats in your head, take photos of yourself, ask your discord friends with diff body types to show you their knees, etc etc etc.

@adorkastock is a FANTASTIC place to find both mundane and dynamic poses. I also recommend fatphotoref.com, publicdomainpictures.net, vishopper.com, line-of-action.com, and referenceangle.com as well as any free use stock photos.

(Protip: on image results on search engines, you can filter by creative licenses! go to the top of the results page; on google its under tools > usage rights, on qwant its under filters > any license, and on duckduckgo its in the 'all licenses' dropdown. u can choose 'creative commons' 'public domain' 'non-commercial' etc. This seems to help filter out AI results lol)

one thing that IS 2nd nature to me and i think helps put a lot of life into my drawings is that my sketch layers are very loosey goosey. when ur doing ur first sketch, dont worry about anatomy or anything, just doodle loose lines that have the shape/feel of what ur lookin for. THEN i worry about references/anatomy etc on a 2nd sketch layer, with my lower layer reminding me where to put emphasis and weight and what type of emotion/expression I was going for etc.

Its a lot harder for me to draw smth good without some kind of foundation, and a sloppy sketch layer gives me that AND lets me get out the idea quick and return to it later, while not feeling pressure to make it perfect! i tend to lose a lot of that whimsy and movement during the inking stage, which im still trying to figure out lol - but i think thats pretty universal? My example here is more cartoony so its less of an issue but you can see it a bit in the bend of the fingers and elbow.

Good luck on your drawing journey!!!! i hope this was helpful or at least interesting lmaoo

[yanyuegege]

[INTERVIEW]

Part 1:

If everyone has a compulsory course in life, then Dong Sicheng's compulsory course must be "independence". At the age of 12, when most of his peers were still looking for directions in various interest classes, he had already resolutely bought a plane ticket to Beijing and studied at the Affiliated Middle School of Beijing Dance Academy. "It seems that I am the opposite of many people. I make my own choices for major events in life, but I will ask experienced friends or elders for small things." Dong Sicheng was a little amused, but he still firmly believed that shouldn't we follow our own feelings in major events in life?

When he was in the first year of high school, he was discovered by a Korean scout and invited to attend a summer camp in Korea for training. At that time, Dong Sicheng began to realize the systematic and professional training of Korean trainees, and the seeds of his dream were planted in his heart. After spending a few years of training at Beijing Dance Academy, he directly chose to debut in Korea and officially embarked on his journey. Many people think that the training of trainees in Korea is a hell mode. In fact, in comparison, the learning career at Beijing Dance Academy is more difficult: "You have to get up at five o'clock in the morning, and then start practicing morning exercises at six o'clock until 7:30. In the morning, there are usually professional and cultural courses, lunch at noon, and professional and cultural courses in the afternoon. At seven or eight o'clock in the evening, it is self-study, and after eight o'clock, you have to go to skill classes... Every week, you practice from Monday to noon on Saturday. Yes, there is another half-day class on Saturday morning." In Dong Sicheng's memory, the Korean training mode that makes many people "scared" is actually more relaxed. During that long period, Dong Sicheng's mind never flashed the word "give up".

"Since I was young, I have seen that all the friends around me have grown up in this model, and I have never seen anyone have an easy time. Maybe at that time I subconsciously thought that life was probably like this." He laughed and joked, "But if you let me go back to that period and walk the same path again, I don't know if I can still stick to it." It's not that Dong Sicheng has become lazy, but after experiencing the process of collecting small things to make big things, he enjoys using his mature expertise to challenge higher fortresses at the moment.

Part 2:

Accustomed to the challenges of "difficult mode" since childhood, the old saying "character determines destiny" is very true for Dong Sicheng. After becoming an artist, he feels fulfilled and comfortable with the "non-stop" life. "I feel that I am quite fulfilled, and work makes me more motivated. Even if I encounter some challenges and difficulties, I think it is a kind of growth. People are probably learning throughout their lives. For me, vacation is not the only way to rest. I can also relax at work."

This is the first time I heard someone think that work can be a "relaxing" thing. The location for this cover shoot was Sun Moon Bay in Wanning, Hainan. The last time Dong Sicheng came here was to record a variety show in Shimei Bay. He came to the surfing resort that young people are keen on twice, both for work: "Shimei Bay feels more like a vacation, for example, you can see a lot of very good hotels, and the commercialization is more obvious; Sun Moon Bay makes me feel more fireworks and more lifelike, with many people dancing and singing on the street, which feels very comfortable." Under the coconut shadows and sea breeze, his first reaction was that if he had time to take a vacation, he wanted to bring his parents here to see it: "In fact, when the last "Five Fortunes" was finished, I planned to take my family to Southeast Asia. There are many seafood food stalls there, which is very suitable for relaxation."

His last real vacation was four years ago: "I went to Hokkaido for a vacation. At least at this stage, work is probably the thing that makes me feel most at ease and happy. Whether it is the long-term filming this year or being a singer before, these are what I like to do. I think passion will not make people feel tired. If there is physical fatigue, it can be fully restored after a good night's sleep."

Dong Sicheng said that his ideal life before was to have a stable job, which might be hard work but not too much worry, and to be able to take his parents on a trip in his spare time with a stable income: "If I have to say that I have any other thoughts about my current life, it is that I really don't have much time and can't accompany my parents well. But whose life is perfect, right? I have many opportunities now to try the fields I am curious about, and I should feel satisfied."

Whenever he touched on topics like "vacation" and "relaxation" during a chat, he would reflexively mention his parents, but he hardly mentioned friendship or love. Working in a fast-paced environment, Dong Sicheng naturally left the softest part of his heart to his family. Even though he left home to study at a young age and the physical distance between him and his parents was increasing , he always missed his family in his heart. Behind his independence and stubbornness, his family affection was always warm.

Part 3:

In the first half of this year, Dong Sicheng put most of his energy on the two plays "Five Blessings" and "Midnight Return". Both plays have different meanings for Dong Sicheng: "Five Blessings" is a story full of comedy. Yang Xian changed me from an i person to an e person." He couldn't help laughing when he said this: "There is a scene where Yang Xian wants to rob a woman on the street, but he is teased by a righteous beggar and has his clothes stripped on the street. This kind of exaggerated performance is something I have never imagined before. The contrast is huge, but it gives me a different sense of accomplishment after performing it."

Dong Sicheng does not list the production scale and team quality behind a drama as the most important selection factors, but focuses more on whether an opportunity will bring him different experiences and feelings.

Another film and television work, "Midnight Return", attracted Dong Sicheng, who has left a lot of blank space in the field of film and television works, because of its subject matter. Although the entire growing period was difficult and fulfilling, Dong Sicheng, like most of his peers, also received cultural input exclusive to post-95 boys during that period: "At that time, I also loved to follow the novels of "Fighting in the Sky" and "Douluo Dalu". The heroic growth model of fighting monsters and upgrading is the complex of our generation. " In this story, he played Fu Chao, who had a lot of spells. Although he was not unfamiliar with the scenes of gods fighting in novels, he still felt a little "hesitant" when he went on stage one day: "That requires a strong sense of belief, so you need to quickly enter the role and story. After a few times, it's completely "cool". It's simply the self in another time and space that I have imagined . Until the day of the wrap-up, I was still reluctant to leave, thinking how could it be over, and I have to go back to being an "ordinary person" again, haha!"

Dong Sicheng's first film and television work was "25 Hours of Love". Although he was already a major role in his first attempt, he is still keen to find new parts of himself in other types of scripts: "I just want to challenge myself. I have never acted in a costume drama, so I am very happy to have the opportunity to act in a costume drama. I want to try what it would be like to play roles that are very different from my own personality. That feeling is to release another side of myself, a bit like liberating my nature."

In addition to demonstrating professionalism, at a time when artists' personalities are becoming more realistic and less stereotyped, variety shows are like a spiritual "connection" with fans. For many rising artists, it is even a must. Although Dong Sicheng has always mentioned that he is a standard i-person, he also agrees that people have two sides: "There may not be a personality that exists completely independently and has no opposite in a person's spirit. Every introvert has a desire to go outward, and every extrovert has moments of peace of mind." At the beginning of his involvement in variety shows, he also hesitated a little, worried that his personality might not be easy to integrate into the "quick-heat" collaboration model: "Later, I found that sincerity is a must-have in any occasion and any circle. Let others feel that you are a very real person, and you can break most of the barriers encountered in life." For example, during the recent filming at the Wanning beach, he has been communicating with the filming team: "Maybe it's because facing the sea makes people more open-minded. On the day of the filming, I told everyone a lot of my own thoughts, and then everyone tried again and again under the scorching sun. The final film has many surprises, and you can see a lot of story-telling things."

In fact, the labels of singer and dancer had already matured when Dong Sicheng was growing up, and actor was more like an unexpected surprise after working hard with the first two achievements: "It's hard for me to say, if these labels leave me with only one, what will I choose. This shouldn't be a multiple-choice question. Every identity is obtained because of love and hard work, and I will not give up any of them."

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Jimin - Muse (2024)

3/5 ☆

I thought it'd get me several days to come back here with some thoughts on Muse, but it proved it's not necessary.

Who as title track makes complete sense. We're still into 90s nostalgia, but it's a recipe that works. Not just in kpop, but pop in general. Looking at the charts, it paints a pretty clear picture for the last couple of years. Add the zoomer idea of a what a Y2K aesthetic is like and we get the recipe for today's music and concept. Repeat, reuse, recycle. How fitting for postmodernism.

Who is a really catchy tune, with lyrics easy to remember and sing out loud. A tad more commercial-sounding than Like Crazy, but that's Muse overall anyway. The truth is, I have the song on loop (streamers can't come for me, lol). I think Jimin's style of singing and the melody itself are a good fit. Lyric wise, it's sort of basic, but this is pop music made for mass consumption. I don't mind it. It's also radio friendly and definitely has the potential for summer hit, but I'm 99% sure it won't turn into one. BH won't move a finger to send it to radio and it's another song that will fall victim to fandom mass streaming to chart high for one week. I've seen this all before.

It's also a shame to have this released when an artist is away, without being able to properly promote it. In my non-expert opinion, it could have been released as a single a few months later after Face and scratch the rest of Muse or keep it in the drafts.

As to the other songs, perhaps Rebirth (Intro) is the only other song on the album that has something to it, it stands out a bit more and it also bridges the two albums, despite the connection being sort of flimsy.

Having Sofia Carson on Slow Dance had brought nothing to the song. It could have been a full Jimin track all the way. Her style of singing does not stand out and I find it a failed pair because there's no contrast or voices complementing each other. Jimin can sing just like her. If a collab is really wanted/needed/necessary, then I'd wish for a pairing that also makes sense vocal-wise.

Be Mine is ok, but it sounds too much like that one TXT song and I simply can't get over past it. It's afro beat and latino influence which has been all the rage in the past few years, which Hybe has been pushing a lot. It explains the song.

SGMB and Closer Than This were previously released and I'm not covering them again.

I think it's difficult for me to not make comparisons to Face, considering both albums were produced around the same period, without much time left in between them. One is simply more cohesive and has a depth that showcases a first solo attempt, while the other one is clearly going a more commercial route with less of a personal signature.

Despite Muse being promoted as another conceptual album, I find that umbrella to be a bit forced given that the theme of finding love is really a generic one. Perhaps way too generic with not much individuality. Does it show Jimin's vocal range? Yes. Does it show him trying various genres? Yes. In this case, perhaps Muse is a bit similar to Golden in some aspects, with the difference that Jimin gets producing and writing credits in 5/6 songs. So his involvement is greater, but the scope of the album is in the same category as Golden, which is another production that had this LOVE as an overarching theme. But without much more to it that would make it stand out lyrically. The focus on both is genre diversity and vocal capability.

In short: I like Who (I also like Ace of Base songs and all those silly 90s pop songs, so my music taste is most likely considered bad, but I don't care). I think Muse overall is an amalgam of whatever is trendy at the moment, without being able to truly stand out and say more about Jimin, apart from his capabilities as idol/performer. Perhaps that was the point too.

P.S. My inbox has been closed for anonymous asks since I reblogged a few days ago my post about using lyrics as clues for personal life. It seems that it invited homophobia and I won't have that here.

I'm keeping it that way for now because I'm sure my personal "review" on Muse will either be seen as an invitation for people to either bash me for not thinking it's the album of the year or to be seen as an opportunity for others to talk shit about Jimin, Who and the album overall. I found that usually there is no middle ground with kpop stans/army/Jimin stans, etc.

[sanctus-ingenium]

How old are the novices when they start working on the mezian beasts as smith/knight apprentices?

i broke out the ol powerpoint just for you (zoom in to read)

initiates come from many sources both within and outside the church - from babies randomly dumped on the doorstep of a cathedral to willing donations from the laity. It is a tradition that the first non-inheriting child in a family will be given to the church, it's a huge honour for the parents. but in circumstances where the children are taken without the parents' consent (this happens quite often), the kids are transported to different cities or cathedrals without the parents' knowledge.

all initiates are given new names by the church (forenames in alphabetical order paired with a surname indicating where they first trained) and all efforts are made to eliminate any lingering familial bonds. the mandatory masking helps with this.

i wrote way more than i intended because it was something i needed to write up anyway for my own reference and to refresh my knowledge lol enjoy.

The initiates are given a normal religious education and then when they are considered old enough to do simple supervised work (around 8) their capabilities are tested to determine their life path. Here i have only illustrated two paths - smith and knight - but they can also become scribes, priests, cleaners, cooks, whatever the church may need. needless to say, the knight's path is the most selective, as ultimately there is only one knight at a time, and most of the knight novices will fail to progress.

smith acolytes aren't assigned to any one beast or master, and do basic grunt work - a lot of scrubbing armour and cleaning mechanisms - until they become junior novices at age 12, where they start to be trained to handle more responsibilities. Junior novices are assigned to holy beasts based on need (the beast's master smiths will let the church know when they need extra hands on deck). There's no real age limit to this - a novice is a novice until they become a journeyman, but at a certain stage a junior novice is expected to formally ask a master or journeyman to train them one on one (aka to become an novice apprentice). Whether or not the senior smith accepts is entirely up to them and often depends on their own workload, if they can take on an additional apprentices, etc. They often play favourites and if a novice shows a lot of talent, there could even be competition to see who claims him first as an apprentice.

Once you become an apprentice you get an intensive high quality training that lasts a couple of years until you can be considered a journeyman, someone who can be trusted to independently conduct all tasks required of his profession to a high level of skill. on this chart i only have the primary and secondary route mapped out for mercury smiths but it's the same for all smith disciplines - primary smiths are more prestigious as they work directly on holy beasts, but in truth secondary smiths, who work on commercial engines and designs, are the real moneymakers in the church.

a master is considered a master when they produce a new, innovative design which showcases their mastery of their art. a new efficient engine, a piece of elaborate metalwork, or a new application of dragonsblood - it has to impress a board of established masters enough that the smith is awarded the master rank. masters need to show proof of new innovations on a regular basis and are expected to have at least one apprentice at a time. Mercury Luca, who is in his 30s at the start of the story (after the prologue), earned his master title by designing Leun's current heart block (replacing the original heart design, which was a copy of Pantera's heart built by the late Mercury Rodrigo, Leun's original enginesmith. the heart killed him).

Each holy beast has a master mars and mercury smith permanently assigned to him, and in stables where multiple beasts are maintained, seniority will go to the master smiths of the highest ranked holy beasts (therefore, Mercury Luca, Leun's master enginesmith, is the highest ranked in the stables despite being younger and technically less experienced than the other masters). Saturn alchemists primarily deal with the matters of dragonsblood fuel and dialogue tattoos so have slightly different rankings - First Master Saturn alchemists work on holy beast fuel management, while Second Master Saturn alchemists work apart from the beasts by providing dialogue tattoos to smiths.

Ultimately, all smith apprentices will end up working at their field even if they are eternal novices who never earn enough goodwill to get apprenticed. It's not the same for knights. There can be only one at a time and a knight has no set expiration date - they might die in battle tomorrow, they might serve for thirty years straight. An apprentice knight is expected to be able to replace their master at a moment's notice, mid-battle if they have to, so are always on standby.

The novices selected from the initiates work alongside smith novices and believe that they are no different - i.e, although they have passed the requisite tests to become knights, they are not informed of this. The knight path is highly secretive and until the point of no return, when they are selected for apprenticeship, novices are kept in the dark about their potential futures.

The knight is the only one who gets to select apprentices and is often incredibly choosy. The novices are taken to be interviewed by the knight. If the knight rejects every novice during that recruitment cycle, the rejected novices can join another apprentice route, provided they passed the initial prerequisites at initiate stage. If not, they might be turfed off to go be cleaners or scribes or whatever. On becoming apprentices, the novices get their dialogue tattoos, and from then on are expected to live apart from the rest of the apprentices, in the knights' quarters. The secrets of their tattoos are heavily guarded and from this moment on, any dishonourable dropouts have to be executed to protect knight secrets from spreading even to other members of the church. Apprentices learn on the job, and as they grow older there's a hierarchy among them where the eldest is next in line to replace the knight, and so on. They typically ride in the throne room with the knight, depending on space available. most knights have about six apprentices. Because of this setup, someone as young as 12 might suddenly find themselves a knight in charge of a holy beast.

The requirements for knights are quite stringent. At the start of the story there is a recruitment crisis brewing where Leun is concerned, as Sir Heaven rejects every single novice presented to him and has no apprentices whatsoever, operating the throne room alone aside from a visual interpreter. Although Sir Heaven is visually impaired, that is not actually considered a disqualifier because knights fight blind anyway. injuries to the limbs that leave them permanently affected are disqualifying. Because any apprentice at this stage is considered to be chosen by god, they are given a merciful death. You need two working arms to operate a holy beast.

[cyanoticfireflies]

Hazbin Hotel - Rewatch Thoughts (Episode 1, Part 3)

I know Adam has his guitar and Alex Brightman voice, but is he an actual rockstar in Heaven?  He’s going on about his gig in his anecdote. 

They talked about how Lilith empowered demon-kind with her songs – but how did Heaven get its groove then?

I’m so fascinated by this because Adam knows who Charlie is.  He knows she’s Lucifer’s daughter, which pretty much makes her Lilith’s daughter (theories in the epilogue, theories in the epilogue) which means that she could have been Adam’s daughter if his first wife hadn’t run off with another guy.  Honestly, considering how immature and spiteful Adam is shown to be later, sitting down and talking to Charlie and having lunch “with” her is reasonably chill behavior on the Adam scale….  I’m kind of getting “that weird uncle that peaked in college” vibes from him.

Starting from about this point is where Lute begins to become more interesting to me than Adam.  We get what he’s like.  But when he’s asking whether a girl would want a “lesser” guy to him, Lute shakes her head, agreeing with him. 

She hasn’t said a word so far, but immediately she’s on Adam’s side – not at all appalled that this guy representing Heaven is acting like this and in agreement with him even.

Lute will remain fascinating to me, just saying that now.

Adam goes into listing what he thinks is “our biggest problem” and knowing what we know about Adam later him possibly having herpes is both amusing and scary.  I’m pretty sure he uses the exorcist army as his own harem.  Maybe that’s why all of them are so angry.

(Yes, I think everyone caught the fourth wall break.)

(We’re not the ones who refuse to go out in public without a mask on, big man.  Well, at least not since COVID numbers went down!)

I really want to find out Niffty’s backstory. 

I’m sure Vivianne already has the whole thing drafted out in her head.  But that complete paralysis when the camera was rolling seemed like a trauma response.  And that’s in a room that has a guy that is frequently raped on camera standing a few feet away from her.  Niffty goes totally dissociative until she hears the word “cut” and the camera beep off.  So, so curious.

(Have some nightmare fuel.)

I feel like working in the film industry Angel would be the perfect person to explain “fix it in post” to Vaggie if she hadn’t bitten his head off.  He literally raises his hands in surrender when she snarls at him, so done with all of their shit.

What room is Vaggie in when she’s editing the commercial?  We know there’s a reasonably better working TV down in the living room since they were watching it at the beginning of episode 4, and that room doesn’t look like hers and Charlie’s room that we see later on.

And why did this seemingly unused room get matching elephant statues for the mantle?

Alastor shows up to be generally unhelpful and kick her while she’s down, as he’s wont to do. 

Alastor’s shadow thing is so interesting to watch.  In some ways, it almost acts like Asmodeus’s extra faces from Helluva Boss, mimicking Alastor’s emotions.  But then other times it acts semi-separately.  Is the shadow thing supposed to be Alastor’s unfiltered id behind his veneer?

(You can actually kind of see a non-psychotic deer form for Alastor when the camera bugs out when Vaggie is trying to video him.  That looks like a deer to everyone else too, right?)

When Alastor has his “this face was made for radio” freakout, he’s missing the X in the middle of his forehead that he always has later, which is just an interesting detail to note.

I also feel like “who or what you are” is something that could come up later on.  We know that Alastor is an aberration in Hell, having powers at levels never before seen from a Sinner.  Either his deal goes back farther than I was suspecting or else he’s been very not-usual from the start.

I feel like what Alastor does here with Vaggie is the first (or second if the pilot is cannon) step along a long road to desensitization.  We make him see two deals in the current timeline in the show – once to not have to fuss with the TV ever again, once for a favor where Charlie “harms no one.” 

He seems to be getting them used to making little, insignificant (or maybe significant, depending on his favor – it was very specifically worded) deals with him.  Like when you try to get close to a stray animal so inch your way towards it one step at a time.  Though in this case Alastor would probably do the biting…

I also feel like it’s very telling that Alastor didn’t bother to offer to do his whole set/costumes/crew thing when Vaggie first asked for help with the commercial.  Only when helping with the commercial was in some way beneficial to him.

Are these dude’s Alastor summons a couple of times other Sinners, or are they just fake, temporary creatures?  Does that mean that Alastor is controlling them or are they equipped with some sort of rudimentary AI that lets them perform the tasks he’s set to them?  If they are other Sinners, Husk and Niffty are out of uniform.  If they aren’t, Angel can probably keep the one he hits on later as a fancy sex toy without many moral implications.

(Alastor should give up being the Radio Demon and give Velvette a run for her money in the fashion industry.  Angel and Vaggie’s outfits in particular are *chef’s kiss*)

I hope Alastor’s closed captions staff are better than Amazon’s, though. 

Also, at some point during the flash back to the hotel, Adam has finished his pile of ribs.  I don’t know how if he never shuts up enough to let someone else get a word in edgewise.

Adam and Lute start talking about the Exterminations, and Lute mentions that she “got a good 275 this year.”  (We’ll be coming back to that number later, by the way.)

Adam seems impressed by this, telling her that was “bad-ass” and giving her a fist bump.  While calling her “danger tits.”  Lute does not, in fact, punch Adam in the face for this.  Again here Lute seems totally on board with Adam’s… Adam-ness.

She seems like some of the girls that I’ve known from school, work, etc that go out clubbing and actually will give the time of day to the guys who wear sunglasses inside and think that negging is a successful way to get women’s attention.  Lute, you are encouraging bad behavior!

But that’s not surprising since Lute is quickly revealed to be a zealot, a fanatic, an extremist. 

She hasn’t just drank the Kool-Aid, she was pouring the fruit punch flavored powder mix into the pitchers for other people to add the water to. 

(Is this because if you, personally, catch an angel making one you de-angel-ify them?

Her belief system is carved in stone, and unfortunately for Charlie and all of Hell that belief system is that Sinners double-dying is not only an acceptable thing but an excellent thing.

Lute does reveal something here that has the potential to become important later: that Lucifer made some kind of arrangement that spares the Hellborn from the exorcisms. 

Vivziepop’s other show “Helluva Boss” focuses a lot more on the Hellborn than Hazbin Hotel does (obviously, with Hazbin being focused on the redemption of Sinners.)

The Hellborn that we see/know/spend time with in Hazbin are going to include: Charlie, Keekee, Razzle, Dazzle, the Egg Boys, Fat Nuggets, and that’s pretty much it.  Everyone else aside from background characters in Hazbin – I may have missed one or two – is an open target.  I guess maybe fallen angels must also be exempt since no one is trying to go after Lucifer himself.

Lute’s words do seem to upset Charlie a bit.  “How little you matter,” she said, and it looked like a hit to Charlie’s battleship.  Which I know Charlie is a bouncy blonde ball of daddy issues at this point, but it really seems like the opposite, doesn’t it?  Like she – and the other Hellborn – were being protected.  Is Charlie upset that the exorcists aren’t coming after her because they can’t, so they don’t really care about (killing) her?  Maybe that’s just Charlie’s guilt for being exempt?

Charlie tries to explain her plans to Adam and Lute, but by this point we all know that she’s not going to succeed, right?  At least her crayon drawings are kind of cute.

“Hell is Forever” sounds like one of the songs that the youth pastors I grew up having to go hang out with every other week (divorced parents, split custody) used to make religion cool to the youngsters. 

Very Skillet, Fireflight, etc.  This ain’t your grandpappy’s religion – except the whole eternal damnation part.  Except I’m pretty sure they would have censored some of the “fucks” to let us have this one.

Adam kind of cuts through all of the divine judgement propaganda to get to the heart of things in the second verse.  This isn’t even about population control or final death or any of that – he and his exterminators just enjoy it.

 Since we find out later that no one else knows about the exterminations, I imagine that the exterminators have to be – up to a certain point, at least – on their best behavior in Heaven.  This kind of makes Extermination Day a bit like “The Purge” for exorcists. 

One day to go nuts and get it all out of their systems.  Frankly, it might be a little bit dangerous for Heaven to stop the extermination; after several thousands of years of having that release valve, if it was suddenly taken away that pressure could go pretty kaboom – and Sera won’t let that kaboom happen anywhere near her Winners.

(Charlie is right.  Where did all of these backup singers come from?  They’re gold, not full monochrome like Lute, so they’re probably not real exorcists they yanked into the meeting room from the lobby.  Adam must have a “give me a posse” button in the Heaven version of the meeting room.)

Adam’s big reveal comes right at the end of the song.  They’re moving the next Extermination Day up to six months instead of a year out.

Who approved this plan?  Did Sera sign off on this?  This seems like really bad population control practice.  The exterminations seem to already be getting worse and worse (Carmilla Carmine says specifically that this most recent extermination was brutal, with approximately 15% of the Sinner population being wiped out.) 

If they increase the pace and severity of exterminations, that’s almost a third of the population each year.

I stopped going to church a long time ago, but that number seems interesting…

Revelation 9:15: “And the four angels, who had been prepared for the hour and day and month and year, were released, so that they would kill a third of mankind.”

Revelation 9:18: “By these three plagues a third of mankind was killed, by the fire and smoke and sulfur coming out of their mouths.”

This may not mean anything.

(We'll pick up in Episode 1, Part 4 due to Tumblr's 30 images-per-post limit.)

[sreegs]

this started out as a short rant about non-stick cookware but i've got an infodump about cookware in general and suggestions for what's the most useful vs the least useful in the kitchen. the thing about cooking is you can do a lot with a little equipment, despite appearances to the contrary. however the vessels you cook in are the most used tools in the kitchen, aside from a chef's knife

ok, first my little rant about non-stick cookware:

it doesn't last, and that's the main flaw of non-stick cookware. whether it has a non-stick coating or it's a special material that is inherently non-stick (at first), eventually they wear down and the non-stick benefits you bought the pan for pretty much disappear.

that isn't to say non-stick cookware is not useful. I have one non-stick frying pan in my kitchen and I use it to cook eggs and other things that are notorious for sticking. i also use it to reheat leftovers just because it's easier to clean. that's all i use it for

so, if you're in the market for cookware because you're moving out or just finally getting a kitchen of your own, do not go buying all non-stick pots and pans. sauce pans, skillets, stock pots (the big pots you use for soup), sauté pans, etc, those actually need your food to stick in some cases, especially for soups and sauces. why's that?

it's about the fond. example: when you're making a soup you usually start by sautéing solid ingredients in the pan first. those get browned and they leave a bit of slightly-burned foodstuff on the bottom of the pot. that's called fond. it's super concentrated savory flavor. right before you add the stock to the soup, you "deglaze" the pan by adding a little bit of liquid to the bottom of the pot and gently scraping it off and integrating it into the soup. fond is also like the basis of all sauces and stews and gravies pretty much anything else you're cooking

where should you buy cookware? obviously you can always buy new, I suggest buying direct from the manufacturer if you really want new. you can also find good cookware at garage sales.

if you have access to them, restaurant supply stores have cheap cookware but it's also made to be beat to death in a commercial kitchen. it works just as well as the stuff aimed at the consumer because, well, metal pans are metal pans. it's not rocket science. but there is cheap bad cookware in the restaurant supply store so shop carefully

so what kind of cookware should you buy? here are options i recommend, but not in any particular order:

stainless steel

stainless steel pans are versatile and they last forever. they work on the stovetop and they go in the oven too. so not only can you use them to fry up some veggies, you can also use them to roast a beast in the oven. they're easy to keep clean, though they eventually get a patina especially on the bottom. use dish soap. the easiest way to get tough spots off them are gentle abrasives like Barkeeper's Friend. these range from cheap to expensive, and some of the expensive ones are worth it (but not too expensive. like $100-200 range for really nice ones. remember, they last forever, so it's like a one-time fee)

good stainless steel pans should be heavy. if you're out shopping for them, pick them up and compare how they feel. if you spot a really cheap one and it feels light like a non-stick pan, avoid it.

carbon steel

these got popular lately, and frankly i don't have too much experience with them since the one i had ended up being left behind in a move. however they're totally fine to work with and are easier to maintain than a cast iron pan. however they sometimes come with wooden handles (a lot of them are wok-shaped because, well, a lot of woks are carbon steel), so remember you can't put wooden-handle pans in the oven. also since they're thinner they're probably not as good for the oven as other materials in terms of both performance and longevity

taking care of them is a little harder than stainless steel, because after you wash and dry them, you have to coat them in a thin layer of oil to prevent rusting

cast iron

okay first i want to get the cleaning bit out the way: YOU CAN WASH YOUR CAST IRON PANS WITH DISH SOAP. that bullshit about only using salt and water and never getting soap on it is from an era when soaps were made of lye. MODERN DETERGENTS ARE NOT MADE OF LYE, THEY'RE NOT EVEN SOAP. HOWEVER: DO NOT SCRUB YOUR CAST IRON WITH METAL SCRUB SPONGES

now about cast iron itself: it's cheap and it's a long-term investment. your cast iron gradually becomes a non-stick pan over time if you maintain its seasoning. a cast iron pan becomes seasoned naturally over time as long as you wash it soon after it cools down from cooking (don't ever leave food or water in it, it will rust), and after it's clean, you cover it with an extremely thin layer of cooking oil.

you can re-season cast iron that has lost its seasoning too. i don't want to turn this post into a cast-iron infodump post so i'll leave it to you to google "how to season cast iron pans" and "how to maintain cast iron pans". just remember the "don't wash it with soap" line is bullshit unless you actually have dish soap that contains lye, like where'd you get that?

these are also great for cooking in the oven as well as the stovetop. their high-density and dark color make for good heat distribution. a lot of people swear by cast iron as the best material to sear meat with, however i never really noticed the difference between cast iron and stainless steel.

enameled cast iron

le creuset can sit on it and spin. don't buy their shit it's overpriced. enameled cast iron is much more affordable from companies like lodge who already make cheap, good, regular cast iron pans. it's a cast iron pan coated with ceramic. enameled cast iron is really good for even heat distribution, however you do have to be careful not to chip it. it may also, despite your best efforts, just wear down over time because ceramic isn't as wear-resistant as metal.

enameled pans can go in the oven as well.

non-stick pans

only buy one (1) non-stick pan. make it a frying pan or sauté pan. and do not spend a lot of money on it. like $40-50 tops. i've seen $100+ non-stick pans and i think someone made those as a joke. it's a grift. you will be replacing it on a semi-regular basis depending on how often you use it.

if your non-stick pan uses a coating, if it starts flaking it's time to get rid of it. those ceramic non-stick pans you just gotta toss it when they lose their smoothness

that's it. post over. go cook. if you have any questions send an ask

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

I’m in the mood for some holiday stories, so any Christmas klaine recommendations? Preferably where they are already together. Maybe even with kids?

Well, you are certainly early in your countdown to Christmas!! This is an easy ask to find fics for - as we have so many different 'bangs' over the years with Christmas fics written for it. Check out our Christmas tag for a large number of fics. Also these in our library:

Klaine Advent 2015

Klaine Advent 2016

Klaine Advent 2017

Klaine Advent 2018

And also these on A03:

Klaine Secret Santa Gift Exchange 2022 | Archive of Our Own

Klaine Secret Santa Gift Exchange 2023 | Archive of Our Own

They are not all Christmas fics, but many are.

Here are some:

A very hallmark Christmas by @coffeegleek

Semi-famous actor!Kurt and semi-famous actor!Blaine work the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit in true B-actor form. Though they’ve worked on the same movies before, this time they land roles that could change their lives forever. Mostly happy fluff, but has some angst. This is Hallmark, so of course it has a happy ending. Many of my favorite tropes have been included: badboy!Kurt who really has a heart of gold and sweetness, famous!Kurt, famous!Blaine, actor!Kurt, actor!Blaine, soulmates, soulmarks, AU Glee, angst with a happy ending, and fluff. There’s also a heavy dose of cheesy Hallmark Christmas Movie writing in both the script and commercials. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles.

~~~~~

A Boyfriend for Christmas By @caramelcoffeeaddict CoffeeAddict80

When Kurt takes his 6-year-old nephew, Caleb, to see Santa, he's mortified when Caleb asks Santa to give his Uncle Kurt a new boyfriend for Christmas; Blaine - who is working as one of Santa's helpers - however, is eager to help Caleb get his Christmas wish.

~~~~~

The Christmas Guest by @lilyvandersteen

Kurt goes home for the holidays and finds out a fellow passenger will have no-one to celebrate with, so he invites him to spend Christmas with the Hummel-Hudsons. Somehow, Kurt's family thinks the guy he brought home is his boyfriend. As the days go by, and his Christmas guest proves enchanting in every way, Kurt finds himself wishing they truly were dating. Could his wish come true

~~~~~

[zhivaoverdrive]

Non comic version Visit https://linktr.ee/zhiva_overdrive for Implant & Body Modifications morphs captions and stories. ---- "Surely am! Don't look like a taxi do I? The name is Dara, now are we going to get you to the Implant Expander Clinic or what?" - Dara ----

She'd said yes immediately, without a second thought. When the magazine said jump, Dara said how high. But that wasn't all, not this time.

"Airport pickup? Sure. What's a bigwig doing out here?" she said into the phone. Dara looked into the mirror as she spoke, trying on a few expressions that might win her some points. Dara may not have been a covergirl yet, but she was a smokeshow and she knew it. Pulling her shirt a little lower, she smiled at brand new breasts that greeted her. Might be my moment, she thought.

"Not exactly a bigwig... listen we're trying to keep this under wraps. Will you pick her up or not?" said the voice on the phone, after a long pause.

Dara stopped dead in her tracks. A HER from the magazine. Travelling here... Now that *is* interesting. Some careful prying won't hurt.

"You got it, my lips are sealed! When and where? Staying in the Ritz like normal?" she said. Still in front of the mirror, Dara tried to remove all traces of curiosity from her voice and face.

"... no, not a hotel. Look I'll send you the flight details, then take her where she's going. Keep it quiet and we'll owe you one, you and the car in the next issue, guaranteed." the voice on the phone said, the finality of the statement quite clear. It's her. Has to be. Dara said her pleasantries and hung up the phone, mind racing.

She was no fool. Everyone knows what is in this city; hell, she'd recently visited the clinic herself. A woman from the magazine, coming here and not staying in a hotel. There could be no mistaking it.

And if it was just any woman she'd get a taxi... They want it under wraps, so it MUST be her.

Dara walked to her garage and opened the door, eyes landing on her pride and joy. It wasn't exactly the right tool for the job. Would she even fit? Sliding the front passenger seat forward, Dara felt a pang of excitement run through her body as she gazed at the back seats, still unsure if they would accommodate her fare.

Natasha changed everything. She's about to sit in this car...

Dara stepped out and tenderly ran her hand down the A pillar. We're going to make an impression aren't we. ---

She was tired, she was hot, she was ready to not be in an airport. The performative charade of her departure from the plane had seemed fun at first, but hiding under a blanket in the tropical sun had quickly soured that adventure.

Had this trip been for any other reason, Natasha would not put up with these indecencies. I guess I've made my bed here... she thought.

One way or the other, she needed to get back to the IEC. Inside, she'd known that quite a long time ago. It was hard to tell precisely when she'd crossed the threshold, gone beyond the pale, but it had happened. The week she'd spent locked in her room with the saline pumps running? Perhaps it was then...

Finally out of the terminal, away from her 'security escort', Natasha looked around a quiet parking lot. Tossing her blankets of decency aside, she began a careful walk, searching for some sign of her ride. Like the plane, she'd been assured that everything had been organised. If they'd managed to sneak her into the crew of a commercial flight, surely they can book a big taxi...

Rounding a corner, Natasha's eyes fell on the first living person she'd seen in the car park so far. Suddenly wishing for the blanket, she smiled meekly and continued her cautious gait.

"Natasha! You're not planning to *walk* there are you?" said the stranger.

Natasha did a double take. The stranger was squatting down in front of a striking white car. She wore a leather jacket and skirt, both of which did very little to conceal her curves. The skirt rode up revealing a quite clearly artificial ass, not to mention the proud implants protruding from her open jacket.

Who am I to judge, Natasha laughed to herself, as her scantily clad form was not a beacon of modesty. She felt her confidence coming back. This was more like it. No more hiding.

Taking the final steps with care, Natasha approached the crouching stranger. "You're from the magazine, I take it?" she said, bending forward to meet the strangers gaze. The move threatened to fold her spine in half, but seeing the sass begin to fade from the stranger's face told her that it was worth the pain. But the stranger recovered quickly. "Surely am! Don't look like a taxi do I? The name is Dara, now are we going to get you to the Implant Expander Clinic or what?"

This whole trip had been nothing but secrecy, cloak and dagger. Tash was about to let out a scowl, but caught herself. There was something about Dara that she liked.

[its-rat-time-babey]

Because I’m insane I decided to watch Fanboy and Chum Chum for the lore. Just watch the entire series and see what I can find.

Especially since Fanboy and Chum Chum are connected to Glitch Techs, with both shows being a part of the same multiverse. Just in Glitch Techs, smaller elements like the Freezy Mart exist in the show AND Fanboy and Chum Chum themselves are confirmed to exist as their names appear on the scoreboard in the Hinobi Smash competition, which means that Fanboy and Chum Chum do exist, but they probably go by their real names in the Glitch Techs universe and “Fanboy and Chum Chum” are just gamertags.

Things I have learned so far (just finished season 1):

This is a completely very different timeline and universe compared to Glitch Techs or our universe as comparison. Many things are different.

For example, the USA in this universe only has 8 states. For reference, the US was originally settled with 9 states, so at some point in time they lost one.

Fanboy and Chum Chum takes place in 2004. Glitch techs takes place in 1998.

Fanboy and Chum Chum’s real names are Tobias and Edmund.

Fanboy is anywhere from 17-18 years old. Chum Chum is (seemingly) two years younger at 15-16 years old. This is because they’re in 5th Grade (5th Graders are usually 10-11 years old) and Fanboy mentions that they’re been held back for 5 years, including the current year. Fanboy specifically also mentions being held back twice in kindergarten, but that’s exclusive to him.

All of the weird stuff Fanboy and Chum Chum can do comes from Chum Chum. Chum Chum has the power and Fanboy can also use it because he’s Chum Chum’s best friend. Oz is also friends with Chum Chum and can do similar things, but to a lesser degree because he’s not as close to Chum Chum as Fanboy. Yo gains Chum Chum-like abilities basically as soon as Fanboy temporarily gives Chum Chum to her, and on top of that Fanboy seemingly loses his abilities until he’s reunited with Chum Chum. Chum Chum is the source of like 90% of the show’s weirdness.

Fanboy is a Lance Corporal, aka the highest non-enlisted rank of the us military.

The Norse gods are real in this universe. I’m not kidding.

With the previous information, Chum Chum is very likely a Norse giant. I’m also not kidding.

Fanboy and Chum Chum both have glass eyes. Fanboy’s left and Chum Chum’s right eyes are fake. My personal conspiracy theory is that Chum Chum pulled an Odin some time in the past (as Odin is a real person who actually exists in this universe) and sacrificed one of his eyes for forbidden knowledge and that’s why he’s so powerful. Fanboy may have done the same as a sort of blood oath to his and Chum Chum’s friendship, hence why he has access to so much of Chum Chum’s power.

The creators of Fanboy and Chum Chum must have already had the idea for Glitch Techs even when this show was first being made. You can find all sorts of stuff in here that connects to the 2015 Pitch Bible for Glitch Techs. Yo’s Tamagotchi has a character identical to Chomp Kitty on it, characters that look extremely similar to Five and Miko’s Pitch Bible designs show up in an in-universe commercial, hell a character that looks extremely similar to Agent 68, a character who is only found in the Glitch Techs Pitch Bible (Either getting remade into Inspector 7 or even the Tech Inspector in “I’m Mitch Williams” later during development or being someone who would have appeared in season 3) shows up physically. They had the ideas all there to begin with.

Hinobi as we know it in Glitch Techs doesn’t exist in the way that we know it, but it does exist under a different name and purpose. Instead of Hinobi the video game company, it’s a (so far unnamed) Toy Company (that also owns the Frosty Mart in some way). My logic here is that:

Chomp Kitty on a tamagotchi. Obviously.

That character that looks like Agent 68 is an “Agent” of the unnamed toy company, in this case an inspector sent to reclaim some recalled toys. He’s also the head of security for the Frosty Mart’s company, so the Frosty Mart is probably owned by this alternate reality Hinobi in some way.

The few arcade machines and video games seen so far work perfectly fine, but many toys, especially any toy with mechanical parts have a tendency to break and act somewhat similarly to glitches.

There’s an episode where that Chomp Kitty Tamagotchi breaks and Fanboy and Chum Chum attempt to repair it by throwing it into a grave that’s been said to fix stuff that’s been left there. This results in the toy basically Glitch Techs style glitching and repeatedly trying to kill Fanboy and Chum Chum. Hell once they destroy the Tamagotchi completely a ghostly version of it almost identical to a Glitch from Glitch Techs forces itself through their TV. It’s even easily distracted by stuff from its original tamagotchi game like a glitch would be.

So my theory is that Hinobi in this universe is a toy company. Their toys can be extremely dangerous under the right conditions, especially if something goes wrong and they glitch in some way, Fanboy breaks the arm off of a robot toy by accident and every other robot in the area tries to kill him for example, and that Tamagotchi specifically is so much closer to a glitch techs glitch because it’s the closest this alternative universe Hinobi has to a video game.

Again, I am completely insane.

[littleapocalypsekitten]

As someone who is American and still watches actual broadcast television (news, Guy Fieri...) and am suffering through another election year... I am sick to death of hearing the term "illegals." Absolutely SICK. TO. DEATH. Like, okay, I know that the southern border has issues. It's pretty much our modern day Ellis Island, with many people there escaping...some of the same kinds of issues - and others. There are people there waiting to be vetted, seeking aslyum or work. And, indeed, there are a lot of people who hop the border illegally. I used to live in Arizona, in farm country. People without legal paperwork who could be exploited were a staple of the farming industry there...unfortunately. I lost an opportunity for a job at a restaurant once because I "didn't speak enough Spanish" - code for "Our restaurant is employing people under the table for beneath minimum wage and without benefits that we can threaten to report and have deported if they speak up wanting basic workers' rights." (I came away from that particular encounter not mad at immigrants for "stealin' mah jerb!" but mad at the company / restaurant for abusive corporate practices...go fig. Guess I think differently). Even here in Pennsylvania, I've had chance encounters with people who had no papers. (People who just want to work and take care of their children). Anyway, yeah, there are processing issues and people who don't go through the legal channels because our government makes it next to impossible. But every GOD. DAMNED. TIME. I hear the term "illegals" I want to tear my hair out! Or hit people with fish! It's not only used for people who are going through the LEGAL channels (It's code for "Hispanic" basically, or just "non-white"), even people who haven't? It's a dehumanising term. That's what I take it as. "Illegals" is a term purposefully used to make people sound like something...other than people. And so I find the MAGA commercials insulting both to my intelligence and dignity. It's like, why don't you go all the way, MAGA? Why not use the really horrible slang-term I heard waaaaay, waaaay too much in my white-person childhood around Arizona redneck white people? Why not tweak your commercials and start whining about "wetbacks?" I mean, you might as well, since you term everyone "illegals." You expect us to think of people as not human. It's too late for me. I've worked with too many "illegals" in my life to think like that.

[ecrivainsolitaire]

Open Art Guild – Testing the boundaries of collective IP ownership

Experimental release: Dr. T’chem’s Office (authorised for personal and commercial use)

I’ll try to keep this brief (you can read the full thesis statement here) but as we all know, intellectual property law is broken. It’s being exploited from every side and art workers are more vulnerable than ever to automation, copyright theft and myriad other unforeseeable forms of theft from the proletariat. We as a collective need to come together and work towards the creation of a better future.

The Open Art Guild is my proposal for the first of many steps towards a far away but necessary goal: the eradication of intellectual property as it pertains to the arts. It’s based on the open source standard and the creative commons, and the goal is for us to start creating a future where we stop thinking of artworks as private property to hoard, and start sharing the responsibilities and the benefits of their creation with the collective. And as I am proposing the idea, I should give the first step.

Which is why I am announcing the release of my short story series, Dr. T’chem’s Office, into the Open Art Guild license. This is an episodic HFY comedy series about the office hours of a sleazy yet well intentioned xenoanthropologist in charge of human integration into the crew of a spaceship, who happens to find them fascinating. You can read the first few instalments here:

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

The basics of the license go as follows: I’m giving any artist permission to use the assets of my artwork (in this case, settings, characters, plot lines and other unique concepts) both for personal use and for commercial use, provided they commit to crediting the original artist, giving away 30% of any profit back to the hands of the collective in the breakdown the guidelines specify, and giving the same license to any works they create derivative from this series. Any artist can join the Guild by remixing existing artworks in its database or voluntarily submitting their own works. For the time being this prototype model will have to rely on the honour system, but I have outlined the basic guidelines for a platform dedicated to facilitating the Guild’s business and income redistribution.

The purpose of this experiment is to test whether this system is financially viable, what modifications it needs, and how to enforce it. It’s also a way to study what the community thinks of this model. To summarise the implications, here are the pros and cons as I see them.

Pros:

- All fan art, spin-offs, third-party merchandise and other forms of adaptation become automatically authorised and monetisable, provided both the original artist and the remixer are active members of the Guild.

- All adaptations are automatically non-exclusive and must give away the same rights as the original, diminishing the incentive for massive corporations to try and scam an artist out of their intellectual property.

- It effectively unionises freelance artists of all fields to balance out negotiations with non Guild entities.

- It encourages artists to continue their output in order to reap the benefits of the Guild, by using the redistribution system as an incentive, instead of the current status quo where artists are actively fighting market forces all by themselves in order to make enough time and resources to work on their craft.

- It provides a safety net where everyone is invested in the continuous welfare of everyone else, giving a sense of class solidarity and facilitating donations and shared resources.

- It motivates artists to invest in each other, as the growth of one means the growth of the whole Guild.

- Eventually, if the project succeeds and the proposed platform comes to exist, it would effectively create a universal basic income for all Guild members, as well as a self sustained legal fund to protect their assets from IP theft by non Guild entities.

- It will give you complete control over whether your art can be used for AI dataset training, on an opt-in, post-by-post basis, so you don’t have to wonder who might be stealing it. If the platform is created, all works whose creators have not authorised to be used for this will have data scrambling features to make sure thieves can’t use them.

Cons:

- It will require all Guild members to permanently renounce to 30% of their profit, in order to build up the funds and distribution system.

- It will have to be built entirely on trust of the collective, at least until a platform can be established, which may take weeks or may take decades depending on lots of unpredictable factors.

- Leaving the Guild will require all artworks shared with the collective to become Creative Commons; once you renounce your right to monopoly of your IP, it’s permanent, no way to go back. This is necessary in order to prevent asset flippers and other forms of IP scabs to join the Guild, extract other people’s assets and then scram.

- Due to banking regulations entirely out of our hands, some artists will have participating in the redistribution. If the platform ever becomes a reality, one of its main goals will be to remedy this immediately.

This proposal requires a high cost, but it provides an invaluable reward. If the system works, it will empower all artists to profit from their work and protect it as a collective. If it doesn’t, all that will have happened is that you will have created a lot of Creative Commons art, which financially isn’t ideal, but artistically is extremely commendable. Even in the worst case scenario, corporations will not be able to hold your art hostage with exclusivity deals. To me, the benefits vastly outweigh the costs, but I do want to emphasise: there will be costs. This is an effort to subvert the entire way art has been monetised since the 1700s. It will require a lot of work, a lot of people, and a lot of time, to make it work. But I believe it can work. If you believe it too, you are welcome to join the Open Art Guild.

Please do read the guidelines for the Guild and the guidelines for the platform before you start creating, and give me whatever feedback you have. If it’s good, if it’s lacking, if I’m overstepping legal boundaries, if you can find loopholes, anything. I tried to make it airtight but I’m not a legal expert. This is not my project, it is a project for the proletariat. Everyone should have a say on what they’re signing on for. And regardless of what you think, share it with all artists you can. This will only work if as many people as possible participate.

Doctor T’chem’s Office’s license

This work has been released under the Open Art Guild license, and has been approved for reuse and adaptation under the following conditions:

For personal, educational and archival use, provided any derivative works also fall under a publicly open license, to all Guild members and non members.

For commercial use, provided redistribution guidelines of the Guild be followed, to all active Guild members.

For commercial use to non Guild members, provided any derivative works also fall under a publicly open license, with the explicit approval of the artist and proper redistribution of profit following the guidelines of the Guild.

For non commercial dataset training of open source generative art technologies, provided the explicit consent of the artist, proper credit and redistribution of profit in its entirety to the Guild.

Shall this work be appropriated by non Guild members without proper authorisation, credit and redistribution of profit, the non Guild entity waives their right to intellectual property over any derivative works, copyrights, trademarks or patents of any sort and cedes it to the Creative Commons, under the 4.0 license, irrevocably and unconditionally, in perpetuity, throughout time and space in the known multiverse. The Guild reserves the right to withhold trade relations with any known infractors for the duration its members deem appropriate, including the reversal of any currently standing contracts and agreements.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

A few Hanukkah PSAs for fic writers!

The holiday season is upon us, and that means lots of holiday-themed fics! I'm really hoping to see more fics this year of Ed celebrating Hanukkah, so I wanted to share a few tips for non-Jewish writers!

Hanukkah is not "Jewish Christmas." The holidays have very little in common and have different traditions - Hanukkah celebrations have no trees, no Santa Claus, etc. Some Jews in culturally Christian countries will celebrate Christmas (even if only to fit in with goyische family/friends) but that's by no means all of us. You can't just slap a star of David on Christmas stuff and call it Hanukkah.

There are different ways to spell Hanukkah in the Latin alphabet and there's no one correct way because they're just transliterations of the Hebrew, חנוכה. Hanukkah and Chanukkah are common spellings and they're both fine!

To wish someone a happy Hanukkah, say "Hanukkah sameach!" or "chag urim sameach!" A simple "happy Hanukkah!" is also always appreciated.

Hanukkah starts at different times in the Gregorian calendar every year because it's based on the Hebrew calendar. It starts every year on the 25th of Kislev and ends on 2nd or 3rd Tevet (Kislev has 29 or 30 days depending on the year). This year, 2023, Hanukkah in the Gregorian calendar starts on December 7 and ends December 15th. Jewish holidays begin at nightfall, so it doesn't begin until sundown on December 7! Hanukkah does not always overlap with Christmas...which can be really frustrating when shopping for Hanukkah supplies and major chain stores only stock them during Christmas time, so Hanukkah is already over by the time they're on sale!

The big thing we do on Hanukkah is light the menorah! Candles are placed on the menorah from right to left and are lit from left to right using the candle in the middle - that's called the shamash. One candle is placed (in addition to the shamash) on the first night, with another candle added each night. It's tradition to place the menorah in a window and the candles should be allowed to burn out, not be blown out.

Dreidel is a common game played during Hanukkah! Learn how to play it here.

During Hanukkah, it's traditional to eat fried foods. Latkes are common (as is discussion of The Great Debate: does applesauce or sour cream go better with latkes?) but sufganiyot, fried jelly-filled donuts, are also frequently eaten.

Hanukkah is not a major Jewish holiday, it's really just a minor festival, but in culturally Christian places like the US a lot of Jewish individuals and communities find celebrating it loudly and publicly to be very important. Some Jews are jaded by how commercialized it's become, how it's just seen as "Jewish Christmas," and how it overshadows our most important holidays in the mainstream consciousness.

Traditionally only small gifts are given on Hanukkah, but especially recently it's become way more common to give bigger gifts, more in line with Christmas gifts. Some families give Hanukkah gifts on one night or one on every night! In my family, we give smaller gifts on the first nights and work up to big gifts on the last night.

The Jewish way to celebrate Christmas? Going to the movies and eating at a Chinese buffet (they're the only places open on Christmas).

The single most important thing: please don't write stories about Jewish characters discovering "the magic of Christmas" or call us "Grinches" for not celebrating! I promise, Christmas isn't that special, we've got our own things, and we really don't need it. We're often happy to celebrate with you, but if someone doesn't celebrate for themselves, that's not a character flaw!

Other Jewish OFMD folks, please share some other things you'd like to see in Hanukkah fics! And fic writers, if you write Hanukkah fics, please tag me so I can read it and love it and give you kudos!!