#nonlethal bear

[charyou-tree]

The ontological opposite of a femme fatale is a nonlethal bear.

[witchblade]

i almost wonder what the writers were thinking about lady boyle after the fact like i know they kinda. retconned the implications of her nonlethal but i don’t think the book author had anything to do with the game writing...

[silence-burns]

A Snack of Mine

Fandom: Spider-Man universe 

smut 18+

The smashing noises coming from what Miguel called “the control room” sounded expensive. You may not have been an expert in all things technical, but you were pretty sure the room was in the process of a violent remodeling. 

“Right,” you said. “And you expect me to do what exactly?” 

“How am I supposed to know? It's not me who's usually had to restrain him in this kind of state. It's not my fault no one wants to get close to him. They kinda have a point, though.” Lyla flew around your head, ethereal as ever.

A crash louder than the previous ones came from behind The Door To Miguel's Lair. 

“You do realize he's just ripped a monitor off the wall?”

“You do realize I have no physical presence to do anything about it?” 

Point taken. It didn't make you feel any better and Lyla’s constant spinning didn't exactly help you get your bearings.

You waved your hand through her before the colorful but pixelated display of her panic blinded you completely. If it was an option, you would've gladly allowed anyone else to take your place. Sadly, none of the currently available Peters had a chance of getting to Miguel through his fury.

And hunger.

You sighed before moving towards The Door of Doom. 

"Miguel, I come in peace!" 

The kind of snarling that came from the other side was not something a human throat should've been able to handle. 

"Be a good, nonlethal boy for 10 minutes and you'll get a snack. Maybe even McDonald's!"

The silence that followed was heavy enough to imply precisely where you could shove all the burgers in the worlds, but it was better than blinding rage; you were already making progress! You shoved the door open, quickly closing it behind your back. You clicked the lock into place.

It wasn't sturdy enough to keep any of the Spidermen out, but it served as a symbol. You walked into his lair, and now you had to deal with the consequences.

Miguel was meticulous in his fury. The room used to serve him as both a personal space and one of his less official offices, where he spent time thinking and planning without anyone bothering him. He was the head of the squad meant for suppressing the threats to the entire multiverse, so he had to deal with a never ending stream of things to take care of. A little bit of private space was a healthy solution.

Unfortunately, due to the circumstances called Miles Morales Versus Bad Decision Making, the otherwise pleasant, calming space was now in pieces. Literally—half the furniture lay in ruin spread across the floor like rubble after an explosion.

"I think you missed a few." You kicked away a rather big part of what used to be a desk. "You gotta be more thorough, man."

As much as you wished to feel even half as confident as you sounded, it was a rather difficult task when the only part of Miguel you could see were his eyes, glowing bright red and piercing you through, unblinking. The only source of light was dim and came from behind the broken furniture. The outline of Miguel's body was hardly discernible from the darkness of the room, but you swore he was towering over you more than usual.

And completely still.

"I really hope you aren't too sentimental, because there's no way anything here is savable. You gotta invest in a proper punching bag, or maybe two just in case—..."

"You think this is a joke?"

His voice was low and on the verge of growling. The situation with Miles definitely got under his skin.

"Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to face my problems with a healthy dose of humor rather than destruction of my belongings. You've got claw marks on your walls, Miguel, come on. Don't you think it’s a bit too dramatic?"

Before you could blink, he was on you. Your back hit the wall just inches from the mentioned claw marks—deep, sharp, and clearly torn through with a lot of force. Looking up into Miguel's glowing eyes and the barely hidden fangs, you knew how capable he was of using said force.

Miguel leaned closer to you, his hand holding you still by the shoulder. Pressed between him and the wall, you could feel your pulse rising, and it was only partially thanks to the heat emanating from Miguel's body.

"The structure of the whole multiverse could be destroyed because of one person."

His voice was so low you could barely understand the words growled from his clenched jaw. Miguel's eyes burned to the point where you could no longer turn your head away. It was hypnotizing and a part of you didn't want to fight it.

"He's a child, Miguel. He's fifteen and his whole world just came crashing down on him."

"It doesn't give him the right to destroy everyone else's."

"No, but he's scared. Scared children need supportive adults, not claws in their faces."

Miguel's eyes dipped down over your lips for a split second, but something shifted through his posture. Still tense, his voice got quieter and lost the aggression. You were so close together that he was almost whispering in your ear, and yet you couldn't hear anything around but him.

"And what would you prefer me to do?" he purred.

"Everyone is already looking for Miles, so let his friends talk to him first once he's found. He has nowhere in the multiverse to hide forever."

Miguel's hand moved from your shoulder to the side of your neck. The claws retracted and now his touch was almost gentle. You missed it, just as you missed the kind of heat that was rising up behind the flaming red of his eyes, different from what most people ever got to see. Something reserved for you.

You turned your face to the side, letting his fingers caress your cheek. Miguel froze, entranced by the way his thumb rested over your lip and how your smile seemed to widen when you noticed too.

"I prefer you like this," you said, making your voice come out as barely a whisper. In his state, Miguel would've heard you from another room. 

You didn't notice when it happened, but he was closer now, imprisoning you between himself and the wall. You both inhaled at the same time, chests pressing together a moment. His whole body was tense and wrapped tight around you. His thighs crushed yours and you wouldn't be able to move away even if you wanted to. 

"I know what you're doing and… this really isn't a good time."

"You say it with such a scary look on your face, and yet you do nothing to stop me."

Miguel's nostrils flared when you put your teeth over your bottom lip.

And pushed.

Miguel's hand wrapped around your jaw, holding your face up towards him. His fingers dug into your skin, the gentle caress long gone. There was only a firm hold and a predator that smelled blood.

His pupils narrowed in a split second and the breath he took was shaky, as if he wanted to smell every bit of blood rising from the tiny cut.

"You've been on that artificial shit for a long time now," you cooed. "But we both know it can never be quite the same as the real thing."

You could see him trying to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth. You stood on the tips of toes and brushed his lips with yours.

It was as if an electric shock struck his body. Miguel growled as he forced your mouth open, and then again when his warm tongue licked the blood smeared over you. He forced you back down with one push of his hips and you could feel him growing harder despite his spider suit. 

He sucked on your lip, hungry for more, just as his other hand found its way onto your hip and held it firmly against his own.

Miguel's open-mouthed kisses were growing sloppier as he followed your jawline and down the side of your neck. You couldn't help but push your fingers into his curls, marveling over how soft they felt and how perfect they were for grabbing his head and moving it just to the spot you wanted him at. 

Despite the urgency of his need and all of his senses blurry, Miguel let you guide him, breathing in your scent. There were no words to explain how much he missed it every time you had to go back to your own universe and leave him thinking, wanting and alone.

Miguel loved the way your nails sank into his hair and tugged harder every time he scratched your skin with his fangs. He couldn't help himself when he heard the softest of moans leave your throat and felt the way you kept grinding yourself over his cock. Miguel bit your shoulder hard when your hand wandered to his still clothed shaft and lightly scratched over the thin, bulging fabric.

"You're really testing my patience," he breathed into your skin.

"I hope you earn a good grade."

Miguel's hand moved from your hip to the bracelet controlling the features of his suit, but you slapped it away before he could take it off. You pressed harder over his erection, stretching the suit more.

"Who said I'm gonna let you rush so much?"

"I really don't think we have the—..."

A loud knock on the closed door made you both jump. 

"They found traces of Miles' signature!"

Miguel pushed his head into the crook of your swollen, tender neck, cursing with passion in Spanish. You may not have known the language well, but some things were truly universal.

You kissed his temple and brushed his wide shoulders. "You've got this."

Miguel took a slow, deep breath of your scent, noting all the various changes in it. But he did not budge.

"Prepare the team," he finally shouted back. "I'll be there in five minutes."

He caught your eyes widening and smiled ominously. The flaming red was shining through his own eyes again. 

"I have something to take care of first."

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Amai Mask/F!Darling: Lucky (1/)

If you were anyone else, you'd be wondering how you were fortunate enough to spend most of your life in Amai Mask's penthouse. I mean, he's at the top of every "Top 10" list for Heroes, pop stars, models, and singers. Bad lighting doesn't exist for him. And his body looks like it was carved from marble. He had so many fans that would kill to live with him.

And yet, the "lucky" one was you, and all because you had the gall to criticize him. To refuse him.

You were dragged to a dumb concert by a friend who'd won two tickets, and you had the nerve to open your fat mouth while waiting in the backstage line. That was the crime that warranted you being kidnapped, imprisoned, and hurt in ways you never imagined.

"Look, I have celebrities I crush on that you don't think are attractive, and this guy is yours," you'd said diplomatically. "I just don't get the appeal of a guy who's so dedicated to a facade that he named himself after it."

"Oh, come on," your friend groaned. "His name is about his appearance! Like, he looks so sweet, but it's a mask to hide how badass he is and how violent he gets with monsters."

"Yeah, I'm sure he can punch monsters real good," you replied sarcastically. "Plenty of Heroes punch monsters without turning their job as a civil servant into an entertainment career. Doesn't that make you feel...weird? It's like if a K-Pop idol was also in the milit--"

"Compulsory service is a thing in South Korea," your friend quipped.

You crossed your arms. "Okay, bad example. Imagine if a K-Pop idol was a firefighter, or a cop, or a fed. Which he is, technically."

"Gawd, I'd kill to see him in a uniform," she sighed. "Can you imagine? Holding those cuffs..."

"I'm sure the guy who beats criminal Monsters to death would show restraint and use nonlethal force like handcuffs. Well, if you're a human, he probably would. Though if you're not hot by typical standards I could see him being rough, just because you're not quite as human as the Pretty People."

"You say that like it's a bad thing. Getting roughed up by him after he cuffs me? The crime rate would go wayyy up just for people dying to get that chance~"

You rolled your eyes. "Can anyone in this line explain to me how this guy is hot in a way that's totally distinct from every other idol? Apart from the fact that he has a different serial number from the others that came from the same entertainment industry factory?"

"Okay, Daria," your friend said with a smirk. "Just because you're too good to be into idols doesn't mean we aren't."

"I'm fine with idols, just not ones like...him," you retorted. "Either be an entertainer or be an enforcer of the government. I'm not a conspiracy theorist but with his influence, he could get away with all sorts of dirty shit. And he's probably done way worse than the typical police brutality against Monsters." You crinkled your nose at the countless posters, CDs, t-shirts, figures, all bearing his aesthetically perfect and boringly pretty face. "He just seems so hollow, you know? I almost feel bad for him."

Your friend snorted. "You sure sound like it."

"Look, let's say for the sake of argument that he is using a persona all the time. He's an agent of the federal government AND an idol, both being industries that exploit the shit out of everyone inside. And he's so stuck inside that he can never express any genuine emotion that doesn't look good. Imagine not being able to feel or express shit that everyone else on the planet gets to: you can't feel anything without immediately wondering what you look like and adjusting so you don't look ugly while you feel it."

"So you're saying he self-monitors as much as your average woman?"

"In a Naomi Wolf sort of way, yes," you replied with a smirk. "Even if the guy is annoying, I also feel bad for him if that's how he lives. Imagine having such a complex that you think being ugly is the worst thing in the world. I'm not a prize, but your average ugly person probably hates themselves way less than he does when he's alone." You felt a smile creep up on your face. "Wouldn't it be the dumbest and most delicious bit of irony if he hated Monsters so much because they don't hide their ugliness as well as he does? Like a Japanese Gaston."

Your friend pouted. "Aww...you're just making me love him even more. Maybe he just needs someone to see the real him and help him love the real him. Someone who's an armchair psychologist like you!

"And now, the Armchair Psychologist is noting that we've moved to the classic I Can Fix Him route. My non-professional advice is to just ogle him with detachment and not think too much, lest you get too depressed and ruin the relationship between fan and idol-cop on a pedestal. No guy is worth it, especially him." You suddenly hear a chorus of screaming around you that makes you wince. "Goddammit! He isn't worth this tinnitus either!"

Your friend giddily jumped up and down to get a better look at Amai Mask waving as the line started to move again. "I beg to differ," she sang. "Ooh, he put his hair up in a little man-bun!"

Amai Mask took the mint-infused water bottle that an assistant had given him with a smile; once they'd turned around to scurry to the next task, he dropped it immediately and sipped it. Just two more hours and he could go home and rest for a bit before meeting with his management crew to plan everything for next month: tours, photoshoots, a briefing with the other Top-Ranked Heroes at the Association...

He sighed and dabbed at the bit of sweat forming on his brow with his neck towel. He loved pleasing his fans with an appearance, but even he needed to rest sometimes.

"Five minutes," his manager warned. "You need anything before you head back out there? I can push it back if you want hair and makeup to pop in."

Amai shook his head and set down the water bottle to put his hair up into a loose bun, carefully letting a few pieces fall to frame his cheekbones. "No, just this," he replied, frowning at his manager. "You should know by now that I don't like that level of prep for autograph signings. They want something intimate and personal, something casual." He applied a bit of tinted lip balm to complete the look. "This should be perfect."

"When are you not?" His manager smirked and checked his watch. "See you out there."

Amai heard him walk off and leaned against the barrier separating the queue from the behind-the-scenes area, closing his eyes. For a man as busy as him, these brief little moments during the day were the closest he got to relax when he had a tight schedule. Plus, the chatter of people made for a nice background noise.

"I've streamed his new album, like, a zillion times--"

"Did you see the pics of him from that charity gala? His suit was so--"

"Is it too much if I ask him to sign my dakimakura?"

He covered his mouth to hide how his face crinkled as he snorted. That wasn't even the weirdest thing he'd signed this month from a fan.

"I just don't get the appeal of a guy who's so dedicated to a facade that he named himself after it."

He raised an eyebrow. Someone like that was at one of his events? Normally he heard these things from random drama videos or read them online. The more vitriolic, the funnier it was to see how much they seethed over his success and talent. Hearing it in person wasn't that rare, but it was a small surprise; normally they didn't pay for his concert tickets.

He heard a woman next to them speak up in his defense, obviously a fan. Ah, he understood it now--the first voice was someone dragged here by a friend. He tried to imagine what the two of them looked like: the fan dressed in a concert t-shirt, maybe some merch as accessories, and the cynic in drab shapeless clothing, maybe a shirt depicting a musician they thought was sooo much deeper than his music. A wardrobe that came out of thrift stores and secondhand shops, complete with an imaginary pat on the back for being oh-so ethical in their nonexistent fashion.

The more they talked though, the more he was dragged out of his little 5-minute meditation. The background noise of the others melted away as he found himself focusing on what these two were saying. It was annoying, but nothing he hadn't heard before from his critics.

"He just seems so hollow, you know? I almost feel bad for him."

His eyes shot open. Suddenly he found himself staring at the mirror he'd just used to put his hair up. Every other jab stung, but just barely. Why was he even listening to this nobody? They were pretending to feel bad for him, just as hypocritical as they said he was. He took another sip of water and massaged his temples when he noticed he was narrowing his eyes into near-slits in the mirror. Shit, he didn't want to look wrinkled and stressed during the signing. He had some eye cream in his bag; he just needs to ignore them, dab this on, and relax for the rest of his--

"He's so stuck inside that he can never express any genuine emotion that doesn't look good."

The hand that was reaching for his bag's zipper froze. He bit his tongue and felt a pulsing in his temples. Shit. SHIT. If he felt that, then that meant--

He willed himself to look into the mirror and fought the urge to vomit as he saw a small vein starting to rise next to his left eyebrow. This stupid, ignorant bitch was actually getting to him. Why? Why? He can just ignore them.

"I also feel bad for him if that's how he lives. Imagine having such a complex that you think being ugly is the worst thing in the world. I'm not a prize, but your average ugly person probably hates themselves way less than he does when he's alone."

He had to clench his fists to keep from punching through the barrier and crushing their skull to shut them up. Someone like this had NO right to feel pity for HIM. No shit, they weren't a prize. Being ugly on the outside and inside, and that smugness, that audacity to pretend they feel bad for him--HIM, their better in every possible way?

"Wouldn't it be the dumbest and most delicious bit of irony if he hated Monsters so much because they don't hide their ugliness as well as he does?"

His hands tightened to the point that he felt like his bones were about to pop through his skin. The pulsing in his temples was unbearable, but he couldn't bear to look in the mirror to see how bad the vein had gotten. He had to get away from them. He had to shut them out, to be better and ignore them. He took another swig of his drink and headed back to where he'd left the signing table, massaging his temples with a bit of medicated cold-pressed cream. Soon he felt the pulsing subside, and after a few minutes of breathing, he was back to normal.

He came out again and felt a wave of comfort as he heard his fans screaming for him. This was his comfort zone, exactly where he was supposed to be. He was in his element. That little worm was in his world, and while he had to fight the urge to scan the crowd for them, he suppressed a chuckle at the thought of them feeling so out of place and uncomfortable among the throngs of screeching fans surrounding them.

"Thank you for waiting," he said with a warm smile. "Sorry for the long break, but I can't wait to meet the rest of you all!"

Another round of screams rang out as he settled into his chair and chatted mindless pleasantries and feigned intimacy with the fans at the front of the line, signing things so quickly and expertly as if his hand had a mind of its own. As the line progressed, he tried to listen for the voices of that particular duo to see if his image of that nobody were accurate.

When he spied a woman in a t-shirt from last year's concert standing next to a more subdued one in a flavorless top and jacket, he knew he'd found them. Once they finally reached the front of the line, he made sure to give the fan a sweet smile and take their hand as they handed him a film poster with shaking fingers. "Thank you so much for coming," he said kindly. "Ooh, this poster takes me back. I had a lot of fun filming this one. What's your name?"

"You touched my wrist," the fan whispered. She shook her head. "I mean, uh, that's not my name. Not Wrist. It's, um...oh God, uh--"

"Shizuka," the Cynic interjected. "Her name is Shizuka."

The fan nodded eagerly. "Yep! That's it."

Amai Mask smiled and signed the poster. "So, did you enjoy the concert, Shizuka?"

"Ohmygod-you-said-my-name--I, um, yes! I went to one last year but this set had all my favorite songs, and it was just so...Wow! You're a natural onstage, like...a real showman, you know?"

"People say that a lot," he replied with a hint of feigned humility. "I'm just grateful that what I'm good at coincides with my job. I love performing for everyone, especially fans like you that tell me how you enjoyed it."

The Cynic struggled to roll her eyes as her friend fawned over him. He turned his gaze to them and smiled, holding his pen up. "Did you have something for me too, Miss...?"

"____. And no thanks," she replied awkwardly. "I just came with her since she won an extra ticket. But like she said, you're a uh...real showman." She tried to sound somewhat enthused, but she wasn't as good an actor as he was. "You must have down a couple litres of water in between songs with everything you do up there. I was exhausted just watching you do your thing up there!"

More false concern and acting like she's so cool and detached. He let out a small chuckle. "I like to think I get energy from my fans, but the water and electrolyte drinks in between sets help too." His golden eyes shone strangely for a moment. "I do feel bad that you came all this way and waited in line just to walk away with nothing special, though."

He stood up and to the delighted and surprised screams of the crowd (and Shizuka), he took out his phone and handed it to his assistant before putting an arm over each of the duo while he posed in the middle with a dazzling smile. The assistant snapped several pictures and immediately chose the best looking ones to post to Amai Mask's promotional account for his concert tour. "Once you see this online, could you comment on the post and let me know you saw it? That way I'll know your usernames!"

Shizuka nodded furiously, trying not to cry too hard from joy as she felt Amai Mask's hand on her shoulder and imagined how perfect they would look in a picture together side-by-side. ____ felt Amai Mask tilt his head and whisper something into her ear that made her blood run cold.

"Thanks for coming, Armchair Psychologist."

[sonicasura]

C Virus Leon S. Kennedy

Since I done a Feral Plagas Leon, why not move onto C Virus? This is gonna be much different than most portrayals of those infected in the virus or any C Virus!Leons. He's quite eldritch here and eldritchness isn't something I tend to hold back on. Let's get started.

Traces of the various viruses and parasites Leon came in contact over all his adventures lay dormant which leads to the entire C Virus becoming something else, something self aware. He cocoons after RE 6 events once any possible infection is deemed negative to everyone. Leon unconsciously goes to an abandoned mall and the process takes place.

It takes a week for him to come out as this new strain of C Virus is planning an effective evolutionary route. An 'ultimate life form' spiel with temporary mutations for emergency cocoons and planned permanent ones once it deems Leon stable enough to handle it. He comes out bearing insect traits as the base which leads to a titanic chimeric final evolution.

Feral episodes are a mix between feeding frenzy and 10 cats who just been given catnip. Any episode dealing with food stems from Leon's body preparing to cocoon for a permanent mutation. The splurge diet depends on what species is going to join this incomplete chimera and vitamin sources. Avian? Leon is hunting a mix of bird species from pigeons to harpy eagles.

Catnip cat episodes are basically the zoomies on steroids. It's best to have a remote control drone for Leon to chase as you are most likely to drop from exhaustion with any physical exercise before the man is even half way tired. Luckily his shit ton of energy tones down the closer he is to his final mutation.

Despite either kind of feral episode, he's harmless unless threatened. The worst Leon will do is maybe eat an asshole Karen's spoiled dog. If threatened, he'll respond with either lethal or nonlethal force depending on the threat in question. Zombies and other mindless infected aren't off the menu either. This strain will take any virus it can gets its hands on to the point Leon's revulsion to the thought is muted.

Very very clingy and is addicted to positive affection especially physical. Leon's true emotions are on full display during a feral episode as his C Virus strain deems his normal unhealthy behavior an issue. He needs to be mentally healthy too than just physically for any new evolutions.

Make sure you have something to do as Leon ain't letting ya out of his sight during a feral episode. Just a huge mess who purrs, chirps and chitters like a needy kitten. Leon is fully aware of his behavior so he's always embarrassed especially if he done any dumb shit such as chasing a laser pointer light.

There's a total of six stages for his 'evolution' not including the base. Only when Leon is halfway through does he gain the ability to shift into his human form. Although it lasts for four hours before the man has to change back but the time limit triples with each stage.

Leon's behavior and speech leans more on the primal side. He makes nests to sleep or rest in, fox dens for housing if there isn't a safe place to stay, even using animalistic terms. Pack for friends and family, mate for lover, whelp for children. Absolutely territorial when it comes to those he trusts or cherishes.

Leon chitters, purrs or nuzzles if he notices someone in his pack is distressed. This usually happens when words feel useless. Licking is an uncommon sign of affection from him. Leon courts like a bowerbird as his infected nature makes him a hoarder. Any interesting item often lines any nest he makes and he gifts his absolute favorites to whoever he's courting.

Molting is a rare occurrence but it does happen around late summer. Any husk left behind bears no viral traits nor DNA and serves as a very powerful fertilizer instead. It decomposes in minutes if not preserved. One molted skin can restore an entire forest to a healthy habitable state even if its heavily radiated or scorched earth.

Base C Virus Leon can produce webbing from his mouth, hands and feet. These webs can contain healing(green) or paralytic(yellow) properties based on the color. Leon is able to spit acid mainly for melting any obstacles and material for nesting purposes. He retains any abilities from previous stages but they're more refined than the original.

Once he reaches his final stage, only way to kill him is by melting him down until nothing remains. Death by old age leads to a rebirth cycle akin to the immortal jellyfish and a phoenix. Leon's old body will crumble into fertilizer like substance similar to his molted skin albeit with his new infant human form hidden inside. A reset where memories of his past life return at eight years old while the metamorphosis begins at 18.

Extreme heat that is equal or greater than lava is required to effectively melt Leon down. Acid irritates his hide, crushing just makes it harder to move while long drops are a concussion and broken bones at best. He can regenerate from a small piece around an inch in size within two days. If the fragments belongs to a vital organ then its six hours to one day depending on the part. (Heart and brain are the quickest.) Basically its best to kill him before the final stage.

Leon will have a major existential crisis about the whole thing. Although he resolves to use his new infected status to combat anymore B.O.W and biological terrorist group by himself if needed. Leon will try to keep a down low but possible slips are bound to happen. Especially when his friends discover he's alive.

That's all I have for now! Until next time folks, continue to thrive in the wake of Raccoon City. Please enjoy this little song to vibe with: My Demons by Starset.

[theworldvsyoshiko]

Although that does remind me, I've been meaning to post about it for a while now, and I've got some free time and energy tonight, so...

I think it's not going to be surprising to anyone if I say that The Dancing Flock is effectively over at this point. The big issue, which I kinda mentioned: some of the mods updated, and they busted some stuff in the process. I actually played several sessions past my last update, but they were all in a separate save file while I messed around with mods trying to get it stable again. I never quite managed that.

But, even before that point, I'd been thinking about cutting it short, for several reasons:

By that point I'd been playing Rimworld daily and documenting it for 3 months, and I'd kinda gotten my fill of the game for the time being.

Like I said before, the win condition was... problematic. Even after gifting the colony's huge hoard of silver and befriending a pile of factions overnight, I was only a bit past halfway through my goal of world peace by allying with everyone.

And related, once the colony was stable, the moment-to-moment gameplay was... kinda dull. I couldn't do much to work toward peace; I basically had to wait for people to attack and then capture them. Building the giant lavish compound was a good long-term project, since it required a ton of resources. Once it was built, though, there was only so much I could upgrade that felt actually meaningful. Like, sure, I could've bartered for weeks to get enough gold to put a golden statue in every bedroom, but it wouldn't have changed anything or been particularly satisfying. The Hospitality stuff lent some variety now and then, but most Hospitality guests just kinda wandered in, claimed a bedroom, and then spent a few days hanging around and smoking joints.

And yet, at the same time that they were too comfortable and well-established, the colony was also uselessly inept at fighting. Remember the bear incident? I never actually finished that, because my well-established, fortified, late-game colony couldn't actually handle 7-8 angry bears. Nonlethal weapons just do not scale to late game well, especially if you're committed to the 'nonlethal' part and thus also not building traps or anything. I had the enemy spawn rates turned way down by the end, and it was still iffy at times. This also undermined the group's commitment to taking in everybody who came by looking for help, because every single fight was a gigantic slog toward the end.

Related to #3, once the colony was well-established, there wasn't much to talk about compared to Yoshiko and Umeko. The pacifist bent also rules out a lot of sidequests that involve going out into the world, because a lot of them give pacifists huge mood penalties even if you don't kill anyone. I was avoiding fights on top of that because of the tedious nature of nonlethal combat. Josefin bravely helped with this issue by being a pathetic little lizard creature, but she can only do so much. I had a couple of sessions where I'd play for two hours and come away with nothing much to report, because everyone had spent that time mass-producing hats and sculptures in between hanging out in the hot tub. Which seems like a great way to spend time, but isn't necessarily eventful.

So, I guess they're gonna settle into a long and peaceful life of giving each other blowjobs on the floor of their personal dance club, but offscreen.

Once the Anomaly DLC has been out for long enough to have really robust mod support, I'll probably grab it and start messing around with it, so there are good odds that'll lead to something new.

[peantbutter-honeycombs]

The Eradith Siblings

Born in the elven city of Syngorn to the Herald of the New Age, Kesstryn Eradith, the Eradith children were putatively raised amongst the cream of elven society. As a young child Talric was always trying to make a good impression on his mother, but they hardly acknowledged his interests and/or achievements due to a general disinterest in him. Regardless, he persisted hoping to gain his mother’s attention.

When he was five, his mother, reoriented his genes, fundamentally refitting his genetics to further her own “studies.” Thusly, his agreeable nature was stripped and replaced with an insecure, opportunistic, and distrustful disposition. Alas, on his sister, Fia’s, second birthday, their mother reformed her body, irrevocably marring Fia’s drafted path in life. In one fell breach of kinship, Fia’s childhood was poached, replaced with endless days of ridicule and exclusion.

In the days following her transfiguration, her brother, Talric implemented a plot that delivered them from the abuses of their mother. On account of this, the two spent the ensuing years, growing up in isolation. After a year or so foraging, they were taken under the wings of half-elven twins, Vax’ildan and Vex’halia Vessar.

Talric Eradith

Talric is a pragmatic and efficacious interbred elven child. He approaches almost all matters with a rigid survivalist attitude that distinctly belies his age. A rather guarded individual, he presents a tendency towards extremely inconsistent social behavior and has a hard time trusting others. Talric has admitted that as much as he craves a meaningful relationship with other humanoids they feel they cannot rely on others to meet their physical or emotional needs. They have trouble believing that any individual, primarily adults, will love and support them as they are. Thus, he’s adopted the isolating defensive mechanism that is social withdrawal. Pushing people away has become his default. Intriguingly, the little boy exhibits an unparalleled self-possessed peace of mind when performing duties in open air environments, especially those involving the exercise of tree climbing.

Considering the mannerisms of other children, Talric is comparatively cautious and calculating, reserving his warmer, gentler moments for his beloved younger sister, Fía. Given that his mother, someone he trusted to unequivocally love and accept him, didn't, his apprehension in social settings is understandable. Vulnerability, more often than not, has rewarded him with nothing but pain. Still, it is unclear to what extent his asocial personality and behavior are genuine. Much of his detached behavior is viewed as a façade for his desperate yet haunting desire for affection; at least from those in his party. He has shown he can be fairly loving and understanding. However, these moments are far and few between and the few performed for anyone other than his sister are even less common.

Deviating from his reclusive bearing, Talric is quite clever and astute; or a “scheming little shit” as numerous individuals throughout the campaign have called him. Aided by an amazingly calculative mind, Talric has shown himself on multiple occasions to be capable of developing and managing intricate traps to injure and incapacitate adversaries. This is perhaps best illustrated in "Best Laid Plans..."(1x50) as he was able to use the variables from the information gathered by his investigation to predict paths that would lead to certain outcomes. This insight allowed him to devise a whole array of booby traps that effectively removed two-fifths of the members of the Herd of Storms from combat. Though he predominantly crafts his traps to be nonlethal, this rather merciful control can be overturned.

Fiannim Eradith

Fiannim is a sentimental, fairly quiet, rapt individual, who like many others her age is also curious minded and venturesome. Nevertheless, having grown up in nearly complete isolation, she is exceptionally wary in unfamiliar settings. Curiously, even with everything she’s highly cognizant of other individuals’ emotional states, good and bad: tied with her innate benevolence, she has an intense desire to help those in need (even to her detriment). Still, as a relatively passive individual she has a tendency to depend on others, namely her older brother, to take the lead in overwhelming social settings. On the whole Fia is a generally sweet, innocent, and diffident little girl. Moreover, according to her older brother, she’s also the most compassionate and merciful person you’ll ever meet.

She is played as a mainly silent character, choosing to use physical language such as pointing and nodding instead of traditional speech. Considering the nature of her childhood, her mousy, subdued behaviors are quite understandable, especially and specifically in unfamiliar social settings. She is shown to be extremely anxious in social situations, which often lead her to “shut down.” While it has been confirmed she can verbally communicate, she is somatically unable to speak around certain people or in certain settings. Her vocalizations are instead expressed in the form of noises reminiscent of bird calls. For all that, there are a select few who she feels comfortable verbally communicating with; namely her brother, the twins, Scanlan and Keyleth.

Despite her insecurities, Fiannim attempts to make sure that others have the things they need to feel safe, secure, and loved regardless of their alignment. Quite the opposite of her brother, she is well known for her warm and disarming presence. On several occasions throughout the campaign she’s seen putting the emotional contentment of others well before her own. Given the fact that she spent the better part of her childhood with few opportunities to interact with others, her inclination to approach both allies and adversaries alike, in a genuinely respectful manner is quite remarkable. Her non-discriminatory mindset and capacity for empathy has graciously equipped her with a demeanor that prompts friendship and trust from most of the individuals she meets, noticeably in the cases of Lady Allura and J’mon Sa Ord.

Art by @oliviajoytaylor

[justavulcan]

Airmark's Guide to Planar Vegetables: Lotus Anchorite

These curious plants are found spotted throughout the Astral Plane, drifting in a meditative trance with their humanoid-shaped root systems trailing beneath their flower, which takes the place of the 'head'. The flower typically has a midnight-blue hue that fades into a rich maroon near the tips of the petals, with rich orange innards.

Due to the timeless nature of their home plane, lotus anchorites remain healthy without any need for sun, water, or nutrients of any kind; if transported to other planes, they demonstrate typical needs for a flowering plant of their size, favoring warm, wet environments. Lotus anchorites are exceedingly rare, potentially due to the divinatory use of their petals.

Lotus anchorite petals can be eaten, and if consumed provide revelatory visions that many attest to be the gods themselves contacting the consumer. Anchorites do not often consent to others consuming their petals, as they only grow a single flower in their lifetimes, and petals do not grow back.

If pressed to defend themselves, lotus anchorites bring both formidable psychic power and physical prowess to bear, equally adept at nonlethally escaping or ending combats as bringing would-be assailants to an untimely end. However, they are conversational if approached peacefully, and prove knowledgeable on a variety of topics. Consulting with them has proven invaluable to my research.

[melisusthewee]

Mel Mel Mel Meeeel happy friday!!!! Solas/m!Trevelyan for "Nonlethal impalement" from the whump list??? maybe???? >:)))

This is a great prompt, though I had to think hard on it because I've written an entire fic that's basically that premise! But it was a good prompt, so I cooked up something different and hopefully unexpected!

So here's some post-canon/canon-divergent Quinn/Solas whump!

Word Count: 446 words

For @dadrunkwriting

Quinn Trevelyan remembered the first time he had gone hunting.  He had been too little to do much except observe, though his father had told him that if he was a good lad then maybe he’d get to blow the horn that recalled the dogs.  Quinn was never a good lad though, and he never paid attention.  He had instead gone wandering in the woods, eager to explore a place he’d never been before until he found himself facing down a very angry boar.

He remembered the fear.  He remembered the snarling of the hunting dog that had thrown itself between them.  And he remembered the crash of a man through the underbrush as his father came barreling out from nowhere and threw himself and the pike he held with so much desperate force that for a moment, Quinn thought his father and the boar might impale each other on the same pole.

In the moment, he isn’t sure why it is that memory of all things that comes rushing to his mind.  Quinn has never hunted a boar and never will.  They frighten him too much now.

But he cannot help but remember the shape of his father - everyone said he’d grown up to look just like him - leaning heavily on the shaft of that spear, breathing loud and throwing all his weight behind it.  He had looked so terrifying and so furious as the boar shrieked and squealed and struggled until it fell silent - its own anger and lifeforce spent.  Then he had seemed to sink, as if all the strength had rushed out of him at once.

Quinn feels that heaviness now as he leans onto the shaft of a spear that he thinks might start to crack beneath his weight.  He had thrown all of himself behind it, all his strength and what little balance he had to thrust it forward and down, forcing it through armour, flesh, and bone.  He isn’t sure what he expected - a scream, a cry, a curse - but he didn’t expect silence.

Beneath his feet, Solas looks up at him with a detached expressionless gaze.  It troubles him even though he can’t bear to look away.  This doesn’t feel like the catharsis Quinn thought it would be, but it is at least done.  But as the reality of what he’s just been forced to do begins to settle upon him, the violet eyes gazing back at him blink.

The head of the spear sits buried in Solas’ shoulder.  It is no doubt painful, but it’s harmless to a god.  For a moment, Quinn is confused.  He never misses his mark.  He always catches his prey.

Not this time.

[terrors-and-tables]

As a way to give this blog some purpose, and give myself something to do, I’ve decided to start writing out my RPG musings in my spare time. I’ve been slowly working on a campaign setting for several years now, and it’s become a little creative space for me to hammer out a hypothetical kitchen sink to throw my fantasy ideas in. I’ll probably end up using it for a Pathfinder game (where I’ll finally get to use Spheres of Power/Might, and maybe even Guile), but I’ve thought about running it with an OSR game as well. Who knows, maybe I’ll run it over several different systems. Without further ado, here’s the first installment!

Post #1: The Ottoguard

This idea was created using Ultimate Engineering, the most recent (and final) Pathfinder product for Spheres of Might from Drop Dead Studios. I contributed a bit to the playtesting and had a great time, and its author spent two years fine tuning it, so if you're interested, go support them and take a look. At the time of writing, it should also be on the SoP wiki any day now.

In the core of the setting, the city of Scalmoor treats scientific advancement like its own fom of magic. They build marvelous contraptions of steel and glass, whether powered by tightly wound clockworks or by burning coal and spewing black smoke. In this city, the law is kept by those with the most money to build the biggest toys, and one such toy is the Ottoguard.

Standing at eight feet tall, an Ottoguard is a hollow sort of mechanical construct, but bears no magic or animating consciousness like a golem. Instead, a trained fighter pilots it, wearing it as a sort of incredibly heavy armor that carries itself. Ottoguards don’t do all of the policing, usually accompanied by a few regular guards who can do things like fit into buildings, move obstacles aside, bully civilians up close and personal, and so on and so forth.

Ottoguard CR 1 XP 400 Human Warrior 3 LN Medium Humanoid (Human) Init +2; Perception +5

Defense

AC 17; Touch 12; Flat-Footed 15; (+2 Dex, +5 Chainmail) 21 HP (3d10+6) Fort +5 Ref +3; Will +3

Offense

Speed 20ft. Space 5ft; Reach 5ft Melee Sap +4 (1d6+1 nonlethal) Ranged Light Crossbow +5 (1d8/19-20) Special Attacks Snag (Swift action, render target battered as melee touch attack)

Statistics

Str 13, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 14, Cha 8 Base Atk ; CMB ; CMD ( vs. trip) Feats Extra Combat Feat Skills Craft (Technology) +6, Intimidate +5, Perception +5, Sense Motive +5; Racial Modifiers Languages Common SQ Gear: Mwk Chainmail, Light Crossbow, Longsword, Large Crossbow, MwK Large Sap, Potion of CLW, 8 gold pieces, 13 silver pieces. Martial Tradition: Mechaguard* Martial Talents (2 talents from progression, 1 talent from feat)

Equipment Sphere: Bounty Hunter’s Tools Armor Training Tinker Sphere: Transportation Package Mechanical Arsenal Transportation Mastery Wrestling Sphere: (Constrictor Drawback) Hammerlock Clinch Strike

Those stats above are for if our unlucky Ottoguard pilot is caught… off-guard. They’re there to represent what’s inside the fantastic mech and what he’s trained to do in a fight, particularly specializing in nonlethal capture- even when fully kitted out he’s here to apprehend criminals, not brain them. The crossbows are just for emergencies. So let’s break down what he’s capable of as a third level warrior, namely his talents:

His Equipment Sphere talents are there solely for proficiencies, for the Sap and for medium/heavy armor. The Athletics Sphere lets him run pretty quick (five times his speed in medium armor, at a hundred feet per round)- he won’t be able to outrun most people, but he won’t fall too far behind either. Tinker is much more complex, opening up an entire subsystem, but the bulk of why it’s there is to build and maintain his precious Ottoguard, with Mechanical Arsenal allowing him to outfit it with custom-crafted plate-mail for free, and Transportation Mastery allowing him to make an immersive cockpit that responds to his movements with a complicated array of levers and pulleys. Wrestling is there so that he can tackle a criminal and, if needed, beat them unconscious. It’s alright though, because even if it’s scaled up to be sized for an ogre, a lead rod wrapped in leather will still deal nonlethal damage.

Mechanoid Statistics: 4th level Mechanoid N Large Construct Init +2; Perception +5

Defense AC 24; Touch ; Flat-Footed ; (+9 Full Plate, +1 Dex, -1 size, +5 NA) 27 HP (3d10+12) Fort +5; Ref +3; Will +3 Defensive Abilities ; Immune Construct Traits

Offense

Speed 20ft. Space 10ft; Reach 10ft Melee MwK Large Sap +8 (1d8+5, Nonlethal) Ranged MwK Large Light Crossbow +5 (2d6/19-2) Special Attacks Snag (Swift action, render target battered as melee touch attack)

Statistics

Str 20, Dex 14, Con --, Int 10, Wis 14, Cha 8 Base Atk +3; CMB +9; CMD 21 Feats -- Skills Perception +5, Sense Motive +5, Intimidate +5; Racial Modifiers SQ 6 Upgrades (Arms, Legs, Cover*, Focused Design (+2 Str), Immersive Cockpit, Armor Slot, Alternate Size) *Free upgrade Gear MwK Large Sap, MwK Light Crossbow,

The Ottoguard, while piloted, can benefit from its pilot’s skills, feats, saving throw bonuses, base attack bonuses, et cetera, while keeping its own physical ability scores, armor class, and better weaponry, while also having its own pool of hit points. The pilot isn’t totally sequestered, however, and some parts of him are still visible, even if they’re behind hatches or a visor, and he may be attacked separately from the Ottoguard- though he benefits from Cover, gaining a +4 bonus to Armor Class.

An Ottoguard isn’t cheap, of course, but by the rules of Ultimate Engineering, Project Materials (for things such as mechanoids) may be acquired freely with time and successful crafting checks (DC 15 for 50 gold worth of material, +50 for each increase of 5, gathered over the course of 4 hours per check), meaning that by carefully sourcing and repurposing parts, the Ottoguard may be constructed from scratch by its pilot for free. This process of assembly and subsequent maintenance are drilled into pilots’ heads from day one. At a cost of 500gp for the average Ottoguard (100 per level, +200 for being large size), and about 100gp of Project Materials being acquired per day, this means an Ottoguard can be fully constructed in a week’s time (not counting the weekend of course). If in a proper settlement and in a real emergency, 500 gold pieces can be paid outright to acquire exactly what is needed almost immediately, after which construction of the Ottoguard takes 1 hour. All of this means that while Ottoguards are probably extremely similar on the outside (serving as somewhere between uniforms and police vehicles, they probably should), a pilot knows their machine inside and out, and there may be differences in the internal construction.

Ottoguard Adventure Hooks

1. A pilot’s Ottoguard has been stolen, likely to be reverse engineered by some enterprising criminals.

2. A pilot has been found guilty of illegally modifying his Ottoguard with blades, flame projectors, and stronger leg actuators. After causing several fires and deaths, he’s gone on the run with his new death machine.

3. A chaotic druid has caused trees and vines to grow over all of the city’s Ottoguards overnight, and has ruined the Ottoworks. With the city’s strongest defenders disabled, and Scalmoor’s stingy oligarchy unwilling to fund that many replacements immediately, the city is in shambles!

4. A mad tinker wizard has stolen the blueprints for the Ottoguards, creating one with an integrated Artificial Intelligence. It’s been going on its own patrols, blending in perfectly and disappearing before it can be apprehended. What is its purpose?

*New Martial Tradition

Mechaguard Equipment Sphere: Bounty Hunter’s Tools Armor Training Tinker Sphere: Transportation Package Wrestling Sphere: (Constrictor Drawback) Hammerlock

Inspirations:

FantasyNameGenerators is a wonderful site, and I used it to come up with the name Scalmoor

Appleseed (the 1988 OVA) is what really inspired this idea, bringing that movie's Landmates into a technologically advanced fantasy setting

[plethoraworldatlas]

A program known as “Wildlife Services,” a unit of the U.S. Department of Agriculture, has long operated secretively for a reason: Its actions are incredibly brutal and inhumane to animals, from familiar wildlife to endangered species — and even people's pets.

This program has been known to kill more than a million native animals every year — including coyotes, bears, beavers, wolves, otters, foxes, prairie dogs, mountain lions and birds — without any oversight, accountability or requirement to disclose its activities to the public. The program has contributed to the decline of gray wolves, Mexican wolves, black-footed ferrets, black-tailed prairie dogs and other imperiled species during the first half of the 1900s, and it continues to impede their recovery today.

...

The program often doesn't even try using nonlethal methods before shooting coyotes and wolves from airplanes or setting out traps and exploding poison caps indiscriminately — including in public areas — without any rules. Stories about Wildlife Services consistently describe a program routinely committing extreme cruelty against animals, leaving them to die in traps from exposure or starvation, attacking trapped coyotes, and brutalizing domestic dogs. Many people who know about this dark entity have criticized it as a subsidy for livestock interests

[frostise]

「(°ヘ°) + ╰(*´︶`*)╯

𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐀𝐒𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄   ┇   accepting ♡

「(°ヘ°): How does one calm them down when they are freaking out? Do they prefer physical comfort, or would they rather be left alone?

louise would be picky as hell. strangers she barely cares about wouldn't be the best option and it almost never happens in her hometown if they show concern for her wellbeing—at least from her experience. it's a dog eat dog world and the only people able to get close enough to the ice queen are her chosen friends, family or significant other. they're the ones who can offer a listening ear when she vents out her frustrations. she'll even appreciate the wise advice despite feeling capable of solving the issue herself, but in the moment she won't care because at least someone genuinely cares enough to be there to listen and offer a helping hand if they see her struggling with her problems whether it's mental or physical.

however, i will say when it comes to personal problems like firestorm, her family or crystal? she becomes a raw, infectious wound on the inside out. this is partly where most of her peers leave her alone unless they can relate to her trauma. louise is used to covering her despair with anger and will automatically shut down the conversation in a gentle manner since she does care about her loved one unlike her usual self that would threaten a stranger for mentioning her past. if she's with a friend that understands abandonment or loss then she'll be susceptible to their experience and feel secure to mention her vulnerabilities.

╰(*´︶`*)╯: Do they appreciate hugs? Would they prefer to give hugs or receive hugs? What kind of hugs do they like to receive and/or give?

from the right person, yes. it'll have to be an extremely emotional moment for her to do it. kf is more of a giver than a receiver, so she'll initiate contact first and become mindful of her strength if one of her friends isn't durable enough to be squeezed into her grip. but yeah! she's definitely the type to lift you off the ground if overwhelmed with excitement unless you're a oversized brute. she'll change tactics and playfully punch your shoulder instead. louise is known to be very expressive towards her close friends after all. as explosive as her rage is—most would be surprised her joy is contagious.

in a reverse scenario where louise is receiving the hug? i wouldn't recommend plucking her off the ground so suddenly. she has a huge issue with experiencing powerlessness just because she's petite and easy to carry (and has been brainwashed but that's another topic entirely). i'm thinking a bear hug would be a safe bet. it's warm and safe and she'll drag you in just to squeeze the life out of you...in a nonlethal manner i mean.

[babylon-crashing]

I know I hung on the gust-beat gallows/ nine full nights,/ gashed with a stake and given to fire-see,/ myself to myself,/ on that ash-tree of which none know/ from where the roots rise. ~ Odin’s Shaman Song.

Here is what Barbara Walker has to say about the Hanged Man:

A man dressed like the Fool hangs from a beam between two trees by one leg, the other leg bent in the Hermetic figure-4 position. His hands are bound behind his back, but his facial expression is peaceful. Bunches of grapes hang with him, suggesting sacraments of Dionysus. Two towers appear in a landscape like that of the Moon card. Hanging by one leg was the medieval custom of “baffling,” a nonlethal punishment bringing disgrace, like a sojourn in the stocks. Like the ritual humiliation in many types of initiation, this may have been a symbolic death-andrebirth, designed to make the novice hear his own heartbeat, which Far Eastern mystics called “the sound of power.” The basis of all rhythm, it is heard even by fetal ears in the womb. The heart’s inner “dance” was the dancing god in Chidambaram, the Cave of the Heart. In ancient Egypt, a figure with one leg bent like the Hanged Man’s was the hieroglyphic sign of dancing and of the Mother-given heart soul (ab). The Hanged Man’s gallows dance is therefore a mock martyrdom, interpreted as a sacrifice for a good purpose, patient as a sacrifice for a good purpose, patient endurance, silent suffering, and life at low ebb.

What I find interesting about this card is the idea that through suffering one can find Aufklärung (your own Age of Enlightenment.) Because basically everything in Christianity has been plagiarized from much better source material, the Codex Regius describes how Odin hung himself on the Yggdrasil (World Tree) in his quest for enlightenment, giving up an eye in order to be able to read the Runes. One of the titles given to Odin is, “Yggr the Terrible,” from which we get the word Ogre.

They did not comfort me with bread nor with a drinking horn: I looked down, I took up the runes, shrieking their names I fell back from there.

I got nine mighty songs from the famous son of Bolthorn, Bestla's father, and I got a drink of precious mead sprinkled as from the heart.

Then I began to thrive and bear wisdom I grew and prospered; Each word drew another word from me, each deed drew another deed from me.

For me what is important about this card is the concept of surrendering every notion of how you think the universe work in order to learn something new. Sacrificial pain cuts through the mundane dogma of all you’ve been taught in school or books (ie., other people’s wisdom that you try to claim as your own) to reveal whatever light your higher self is trying to show you.

[pathfinderunlocked]

Umbral Half-Dragon Necroknight - CR16 Dragon

When a dragon and a lich love each other very very much...

Artwork by JinZe_72 on Pixiv.

Umbral dragons are extraplanar dragons torn between the material and shadow planes.  They devour incorporeal undead by tearing at the essence of their undead souls.  However, because of their negative energy breath, they’re also sometimes tamed by extremely powerful undead such as liches or vampires.  And “tamed” can have more than one meaning.  The result of such a union might result in a half-dragon, half-undead, half-shadow offspring.

A sorcerer might not be your first thought when you see artwork of a character with heavy armor and a large shield, but bear with me here.  The five levels of antipaladin, with the very fitting knight of the sepulcher archetype, are doing a lot of work.

Normally a multiclassed creature that splits its levels between full-casting classes and martial classes has a lowered challenge rating, because normally that’s a garbage build, but this creature uses its spellcasting in a way that makes up for what it loses, and also has about 30% more gear than normal, so it doesn’t have the typical penalty.  It uses Still Spell to cast its sorcerer spells in combat, but when not in combat it can transform its armor into a brooch to cast normally.

I did end up giving the necroknight full plate instead of the half-plate depicted in the artwork, partially because half-plate in Pathfinder is somehow actually heavier and more restrictive than full plate, and partially so I could use the Folding Plate as written instead of making a homebrew version of it.

This creature can cast Animate Dead, so it’s reasonable that it would have several undead creatures under its control, possibly buffed with heroism or other spells.  Its unseen servant picks up anything dropped in battle (including weapons dropped by enemies) and carries the loot to its master, using its own actions to put the items in its master’s bag.

The necroknight can see in deeper darkness, so it should pre-cast Deeper Darkness on its shield if alone.  Combats where none of the players can see are no fun though, so consider putting this encounter in a location with some Firefleas.

Umbral Half-Dragon Necroknight - CR16 Dragon 

The fashionably armored woman’s dark gaze meets you, her reptilian eyes casting a shadow upon you.  A black, scaled tail swings behind her, emerging from her back, and she carries a blackened shield.  Scarf-like silk strands swing from her shoulders, forming a kind of cape behind her, and the images of glowing yellow eyes sewn into the ends of the strands match her own piercing eyes.

XP 76,800 Half-umbral dragon, fetchling, sorcerer 10 / knight of the sepulcher antipaladin 5 CE Medium dragon (augmented outsider, native) Init +5 Senses see in darkness, see invisibility, sense fear; Perception +17

DEFENSE

AC 28, touch 11, flat-footed 27 (+10 armor, +1 Dex, +4 natural, +3 shield); +6 deflection vs. firearms hp 157 (10d6+5d10+90) plus 15 temp hp Fort +17, Ref +7, Will +13; +2 vs. death, fear, mind-affecting, and poison Defensive Abilities deep shadow explorer, shadow blending, touch of the crypt, unholy resilience DR 10/adamantine (100 total damage) and DR 10/— vs. nonlethal damage Resist acid 20, cold 20, elec 20, fire 20, positive energy 10 Immune disease, negative energy, paralysis, sleep

OFFENSE

Speed 20 ft., fly 40 ft. (average) Melee +3 grayflame gandasa +23/+18 (2d4+10/×3) Special Attacks breath weapon (30-foot cone, 6d8 negative energy, DC 23, 1/day)

Fetchling Spell-like Abilities (CL 15th; concentration +23)    1/day—alter self, shadow walk (self only), plane shift (self only, shadow plane or material plane only)

Antipaladin Spells Known (CL 2nd; concentration +10)    1st (8/day)—death knell (DC 19), barbed chains (2 chains, attack/trip +20), sense fear (already cast)

Sorcerer Spells Known (CL 10th; concentration +18)     5th (4/day)—mage’s faithful hound     4th (6/day)—animate dead, shadowform (DC 22), stoneskin (already cast)     3rd (8/day)—haste, heroism, vampiric touch (touch +19)     2nd (8/day)—bullet shield (already cast), deeper darkness, false life (already cast), resist energy (already cast x4), see invisibility (already cast)     1st (8/day)—chill touch (touch +19, DC 19), darkness, endure elements, magic missile, protection from good, unseen servant (already cast)     0th (at will)—arcane mark, bleed (DC 18), detect magic, message, mending, penumbra (already cast), read magic, resistance, touch of fatigue (DC 19)

Bloodline undead

BASE STATISTICS

Without bullet shield, false life, heroism, penumbra, resist energy, see invisibility, sense fear, and stoneskin, the umbral half-dragon necroknight’s statistics are Senses see in darkness; Weaknesses light blindness; AC 28, touch 11, flat-footed 27; Resist cold 5, elec 5, positive energy 10; hp 157; DR 10/— vs. nonlethal damage; Melee +3 grayflame gandasa +21/+16 (2d4+10/×3); CMB +19; Skills Fly +11, Intimidate +15, Knowledge (planes) +5, Knowledge (religion) +10, Linguistics +5, Perception +15, Spellcraft +11, Stealth -4

STATISTICS

Str 24, Dex 12, Con 22, Int 12, Wis 10, Cha 26 Base Atk +10; CMB +19; CMD 28 Feats Combat Casting, Dark Sight, Eschew Materials, Gloom Sight, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Improved Dark Sight, Power Attack, Still Spell, Weapon Focus (gandasa) Skills Fly +13, Intimidate +17, Knowledge (planes) +7, Knowledge (religion) +12, Linguistics +7, Perception +17, Spellcraft +13, Stealth -2 Languages Abyssal, Common, Draconic, D’ziriak (cannot speak), Infernal, Necril SQ undead bloodline arcana Gear wand of inflict serious wounds (30 charges), +3 grayflame gandasa, folding plate (+1 full plate), +1 warding channeling (negative) heavy steel shield, cloak of resistance +2, headband of alluring charisma +2, belt of physical might +2 (strength, constitution), ring of feather falling, diamond dust (worth 500 gp), onyx (worth 800 gp), 150 gp

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Aura of Cowardice (Su) While an umbral half-dragon necroknight is conscious, creatures within 10 feet take a –4 penalty on saving throws against fear effects.  Creatures that are normally immune to fear lose that immunity while within the radius.

Breath Weapon (Su) Although it deals negative energy damage, an umbral half-dragon necroknight's breath weapon does not heal undead creatures.  It affects a 30-foot cone and deals 6d8 points of negative energy damage to non-undead creatures in the area.  A DC 23 Reflex save halves the damage.  The save DC is Constitution-based.

Channel Energy (Su) By expending two uses of Touch of Corruption, an umbral half-dragon necroknight can channel 3d6 negative energy as a cleric, either healing undead or harming living creatures within a 30 foot radius.  A DC 20 Will save halves the damage.  The save DC is Charisma-based.

3 times per day, the necroknight can increase its channeled energy to 4d6.

Detect Good (Sp) At will, an umbral half-dragon necroknight can use detect good, as the spell. It can, as a move action, concentrate on a single item or individual within 60 feet and determine if it is good, learning the strength of its aura as if having studied it for 3 rounds. While focusing on one individual or object, it does not detect good in any other object or individual within range.

Grasp of the Dead (Sp) An umbral half-dragon necroknight can cause a swarm of skeletal arms to burst from the ground to rip and tear at its foes.  The skeletal arms erupt from the ground in a 20-foot-radius burst.  Anyone in this area takes 10d6 points of slashing damage; a DC 23 Reflex save halves the damage.  The save DC is Charisma-based.  The skeletal arms disappear after 1 round. The arms must burst up from a solid surface.  This power has a range of 60 feet.

Grave Touch (Su) The umbral half-dragon necroknight can make a melee touch attack as a standard action that causes a living creature to become shaken for 5 rounds.  If it touches a shaken creature with this ability, it becomes frightened for 1 round if it has fewer than 10 Hit Dice.

Shadow Blending (Su) Attacks against an umbral half-dragon necroknight in dim light have a 50% miss chance instead of the normal 20% miss chance.  This ability does not grant total concealment; it just increases the miss chance.

Smite Good (Su) Twice per day, as a swift action, an umbral half-dragon necroknight can choose one target within sight to smite.  If this target is not good, the smite is wasted with no effect.  Otherwise, the necroknight adds its Charisma bonus (typically +8) on its attack rolls and adds +5 on all damage rolls made against the target of his smite.  If the target of smite good is an outsider with the good subtype, a good-aligned dragon, or a good creature with levels of cleric or paladin, the bonus to damage on the first successful attack increases to +10.  Regardless of the target, smite good attacks automatically bypass any DR the creature might possess.

In addition, while smite good is in effect, the umbral half-dragon necroknight gains a deflection bonus equal to his Charisma modifier (typically +8) to its AC against attacks made by the target of the smite.

The smite good effect remains until the target of the smite is dead or the next time the umbral half-dragon necroknight rests and regains it uses of this ability.

Touch of Corruption (Su) 10 times per day, an umbral half-dragon necroknight can surround its hand with a fiendish flame, causing terrible wounds to open on those he touches.  This is a touch attach which deals 2d6 negative energy damage, and the target must succeed on a DC 20 Fortitude save or be sickened for 5 rounds.  Using this ability is a standard action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity.  The save DC is Charisma-based.

Alternatively, an umbral half-dragon necroknight can use this power to heal an undead creature, restoring 2d6 hit points.

Touch of the Crypt (Su) An umbral half-dragon necroknight is harmed by positive energy effects and healed by negative energy effects as though it were undead.  It has a 25% chance of ignoring critical hits and the bonus damage from sneak attacks.

Undead Bloodline Arcana (Su) When an umbral half-dragon necroknight casts spells on corporeal undead that were once humanoids, they are treated as humanoids for the purposes of determining which spells affect them, and their immunity to mind-affecting abilities is bypassed.

Warding Shield Once per day as an immediate action, the wearer of a warding shield can activate it to end all active challenge, judgment, and smite abilities affecting it.  This does not prevent opponents from selecting the wearer as a target for these abilities in the future.  As a swift action, the wearer can expend one of its own challenge, judgment, or smite abilities to refresh the armor’s ability to end these attacks.

[warriorend]

this is probably going to get Long as Hell so i'm gonna put it under a cut (also i'm probably starting this a couple days before it actually gets posted because I'll need time)

do be aware that I'm going over both games, so there's Going to be spoilers

OK it's done, heads up for long-ass post under the cut & also this is a post about deathtraps so. bear that in mind.

IEYTD 1:

Friendly Skies: -Retina scanner/laser: It's. A retina scanner hooked up to some sort of laser. The weaknesses are in that you can either dodge the scanner (I've done this by just slumping down in my seat) or shoot it, for the actual scanner, and then for the laser you can do much the same.

-Timed Bomb: This is again exactly what it says on the tin. It's a timed bomb. It can be disarmed by cutting the wires in reverse order of what you'd do to prime it.

-The Poison: There's no way to actually circumvent this minus just keeping the windows closed. Oh, and it starts going out the cargo door when you blast it open, which ig is a way to "circumvent" it. However it seems to mostly just suffocate you instead of Full-On Poisoning. It's worth mentioning that these games seem to have their own elements/periodic table (judging by Squeaky Clean) so. For poisons that I Personally would know about (<- not a chemist) we've got like. cyanide. strychnine (assuming they have the trees). pretty much anything that you could find via Natural Sources. ANYWAY whatever it is doesn't seem to actually stay in your system, it just makes you cough and so you can't breathe, but unless the player just has Very Advanced flushing systems, it's just something that Isn't Oxygen. It has no lasting effects once you close the windows.

-The scorpions: To be honest this one isn't. Dangerous. As has been noted, the types of scorpions Zor seems to keep around are both nonlethal. This doesn't mean you want to get stung because it would probably still be unpleasant but there's. There's Worse Scorpions. Anyway they mostly just seem to be in containment under the chairs, just don't hit the scorpion button or tuck your feet up & they'll leave you be. (This is also assuming that the scorpions aren't Modified in some way to have more potent venom)

-Just for fun I'll mention the cannon because it seems like it could concuss you if you. Put your head right where it pops out. Which is really just to say: don't put your head there. (Also because it's one of Solaris' contraptions & I feel obligated)

Squeaky Clean: -The first obvious one is the security system, which seems to just be toggled by breaking in (& also maybe from improper ID). But then, that's easy enough to disable - you can either give proper ID (not always possible - it's lucky someone left theirs in the locker) or just cut the wires under the ID scanner, which probably fucks with the computer & shuts it off. If you trip a laser, it releases neurotoxin, but even then it takes a second. There's also plenty of ways to see the lasers - you can use the spray bottle, or the cold chamber. Etc. So it's not that bad.

-Aside from that the lab doesn't actually have many deathtraps. Probably because it's already a chemistry lab & doesn't need them (the chemicals do seem to blow up if you just toss random ones into the mixer).

(As an aside, I don't know if anyone else did this, but I was extremely cautious about the chemical mixer on my first playthrough. I'd read the instructions on the paper & then put the chemicals in the same order based on what the order would be from the front of the mixer. I was very careful.)

-I won't count the Zoraxis agent that sees you as a deathtrap bc they're. that's a person. also they're sorta easy to deal with.

-HOWEVER I will count the early launch as a trap. It was probably primed to go off as soon as the neutralizer was scanned, so I'm calling it a trap. To be honest this is one of the beefier ones, and I don't know how you'd deal with it if you were Just Some Person without telekinesis. With telekinesis, it's not bad. I guess there is an argument to be made for just shooting the cover away, since that's generally what I do until it gets to where I can grab the covers, but you better hope they actually come off. & then you have to get to the rocket, &:

-Have acid on hand to melt the chain keeping the tank closed (at least it apparently only interacts with copper, so at least you wouldn't have to worry about getting it on you. Probably.) -Get the cover off -Drop in the neutralizer -(If you want a chance at survival) get back off of the rocket somehow

All in all it's a nasty little trap & it would have been much more difficult to disarm without telekinesis. I'm not going to say impossible, but difficult.

Deep Dive:

This entire level is a deathtrap. That's the point. However, I will go through the various Components

-The initial state of the pod: The pod is in Shitty Condition, & is severely damaged. It needs fuel, it needs to be de-flooded, the grenade needs to be removed from the engine gears, etc etc etc. All of this is fairly easy to do, though. There's a screwdriver on board, there's backup fuel, all that. Yay. Easy enough to fix. There's also a...very out of date sandwich, which doesn't actually do anything to you, but it's worth mentioning I guess.

-The Grenade: This one is easy to circumvent IF you're careful. You can either use the fire extinguisher pin or a screw. However, once you pick it up, you don't want to put it down.

(kudos to Zor for getting it there without blowing it up)

And now you can get the pod going.

-Control Panel explosion: This was almost definitely deliberate, and probably just a case of the pod's AI being made to overheat something. Either way, there's a fire extinguisher, just put out the fire.

-Engine Overheat: Easy enough to deal with, although I don't know how you'd force an engine to overheat. I'm not a mechanic. To deal with it, you just turn on the waterflow.

-Oxygen Vent: This just empties out all of the oxygen from the pod. What this also means is that you have to get oxygen back. Thankfully there's another supply, but the valve has been removed. Thank fuck for bottle openers. That's really the only way I can think of to circumvent this particular trap, is to use the bottle opener as a replacement valve.

-Structural Failure: I don't know that this was intentional, but it very well could have been. Causing it would probably have just been a case of creating very small weaknesses that would get worse under pressure. Fixing it is just a matter of using the sealant gun, which is very helpfully provided for you. How sweet.

-Self-Destruct: Solaris Contraption #2 (maybe #3 if she had a hand in the Squeaky Clean rocket). It seems to mostly just be a timed bomb hooked into the input panel that pops up. If you fail to put in the correct combination in time, or you use the wrong input, it blows up. However, the disarm combination is in the pod with you, & it seems to have been left there deliberately. After all, if Zor set the grenade in there, they could have taken out the disarm code. They did not do this. So you can disarm the self-destruct module.

Winter Break:

Lodge Time Lodge Time Lodge Time

-To start this off, there's actually...not much. When you first get in, you're probably in the most comfortable position you'll be in all game. Except for Seat of Power, maybe.

-I'll count the deer gas as being the first threat. It's just a gas dispenser hooked into the door behind the painting. The way to circumvent it is to just...light the deer head on fire. The gas is flammable.

-Bear Archer is up next. It's just an arrow launching mechanism disguised as a bear statue. This is easy enough to deal with, since it launches explosive arrows, so you can just...give the arrows back. It is worth noting that it has a fairly clear weakness besides that, which is that its aim seems a bit loose. Sensing equipment is probably in its early phases though, so I won't hold it against it. (There's implications that Solaris worked on these in the second game, but you don't know that in the first one).

-Gravity Machine: (Known) Solaris Contraption #3 This isn't a trap in and of itself, but it does have the laser defense. The laser defense seems to run on the same mechanics as every other laser in this game though, which is that something triggers it, and it shoots out a laser. Easy enough. Although I'm impressed with how many they have considering that they'd have to be pretty strong. Anyways, it's easy enough to avoid, even though you can't immediately disarm it. Just duck. (Although do duck fairly low, because those lasers are lower than they seem).

Vacation: First Class:

-The first problem is actually the buttons on the wall. They explode if you push all of them in. Easy solution to that, though, is to just not press all of them down.

-The thing is, there's not a lot of deathtraps in the train car itself, they all come from outside. So we can skip almost the entire beginning phase of the level (minus the buttons).

-I won't count the fact that the Zoraxis operatives will kill you if you send something to the wrong compartment. There's no way to circumvent the grenade they send you.

-The Storage Device: It's probably just a small bomb that's set to go off if you get the wrong combination enough times. Either through a fuse setup (wrong combination = lit fuse) or though electrical impulse. It's not a huge bomb, either.

I'm not counting the Zoraxis operatives.

Seat Of Power:

Whooo there really should be more deathtraps here than there are.

-The combination lock security: We actually get a look at how this one works! It's a piece of TNT with a fuse at each end - turn the combination dial too far in one direction, and it blows up. The way to circumvent/avoid this is to just change directions often.

-I'll mention the chairs, even though you're in no danger from them. The chair you're sitting in has switches, you can use those to drop the other chairs at the table into a pit of fire. I'm assuming it's fire, but you're underground, so it could also be lava. Anyways, aside from jumping out of the chair (or just never sitting in one to begin with), there's no good way to avoid this, since you probably wouldn't be able to climb out.

-The neurotoxin: It sure is a neurotoxin. It gets activated by hitting a button. The main way to avoid it is to just never hit the button to activate it - you can block the bees with a cigar/cork. There's a mask, however, that you can use to keep from breathing it in.

That's it for Seat of Power, I think, unless the rocket chair (Solaris again) has some trap thing I didn't know about.

Death Engine:

Most of the hazards on the Death Engine are a result of how it operates, not necessarily death traps. Until Solaris makes them death traps, anyway.

So instead. i will simply continue forward. (with the acknowledgement that i seriously considered trying to pick apart how it actually works.)

IEYTD 2:

Okay second game time! yaaaaaay

Stage Fright: There's not a huge abundance of death traps in this level, but the fact that the mask exists makes up for it, I think.

-The Mask: Again, I don't know what sort of poison it's using, but it's pretty strong (& also very vibrantly colored, which. Really just feels like a warning sign). The way it works is that the mask is built around a fog machine - normally, for the fog, you'd just use something safe for that. To break the trap, you just have to swap out the coolant for the canister of butane. The fog machine blows up, the mask breaks, and it stops dispensing the gas.

In regards to the gas, I'm wondering if it kills you due to your proximity to it. If it actually killed everyone in the theater, that would probably be extremely suspicious.

Jet Set: (AKA "this plane wants to kill you So Fucking Bad")

-The lasers: To progress the level, you can't really avoid setting these off (I think you can, if you glitch the fuse out of the cart, but). They're, again, just the standard Zoraxis lasers. I wonder if they have a proprietary thing going on with a laser manufacturer. That or Solaris is making their lasers (since. the Death Engine just seems to be a big laser). Either way, these are really just the standard lasers - avoid em, break em. The chair one is especially easy to deal with, in that you just tilt the chair back.

-The food: The food is a very low-tech deathtrap, but a deathtrap all the same. The blowfish (pufferfish) is extremely toxic (tetrodotoxin, to be specific), I believe the cake is poisoned (<- has never gotten the cake), there's a grenade in the fruit bowl, & there's a scorpion in the sandwich. This can all be avoided quite easily by not ordering anything, although the non-explosive fruits are safe to eat. In terms of actually handling what happens, just don't eat anything (minus the non-explosive fruits), & if you get the fruit just toss away the grenade.

-The cigars: They blow up when you smoke them. Solution: don't smoke them.

-The security system on the flight controls: Well. They're flamethrowers. I don't think there's any way to escape the fire, so you mostly just have to not set them off. This is doable by making sure the fuses are correct (or that none of the lines connected to it line up to a bulb on a fuse).

-The Missile: This is part of This Entire Fucking Plane Wants You Dead, I'm counting it. Juniper had it set up as a last resort, & stopping it doesn't involve shooting/maiming someone.

The way it works is pretty simple, because. It's a missile. Probably heat-seeking or something similar.

The way you stop it is by getting the plane's defense system back online, & shooting the defensive flares at it (much to the chagrin of the plane's AI, who would really prefer you shoot the flares while on the ground). However, if you feel like it, you can also nail it with a laser. This is both harder than you'd expect and easier than you'd expect.

Although, at the end of the day, the way to avoid all of those measures was to just...sit quietly in the plane. Sure, the food is lethal, but if you just didn't order anything, the alcohol is fine. I'm not advocating for getting captured by Zoraxis, because that's not good, but yknow.

Eaves Drop:

-The laser defense system: Right off the bat! There's a laser defense system you have to disarm. Although unlike most of Zoraxis' lasers, these ones just seem to be sensing equipment. The actual dangerous part is the fact that gas (same red gas) is shot out if you trip one of them.

-That One Drawer: I think this is probably a pull string attached to an activating mechanism, probably one with a short fuse. Pulling on the drawer too much or too quickly will cause the bomb to go off. However, you don't have to cut the cable - pulling it out only a little, at a moderate pace, will allow you to get the scraper out of the drawer without actually setting off the explosion. Cutting the cable is just how you disarm it.

-The Bear Archer: Not a threat to you but it is there. It's a threat to the security guard.

-The gas bottle: This can actually kill you if you break it too close to yourself, but generally it's not a threat. You can whip open the cupboard door and be fine. It's just a bottle filled with poison gas, nothing too spectacular.

-The Mask's Tamper Protections: IDK does. that count. it's mostly just in case Juniper gets any "funny ideas" but it definitely will kill you too.

Party Crasher:

-I'll just skip straight to the axe & talk about the rest later. The axe is just...a heavy ass axe on a locked release system, fuck up the barrels and it falls. However, it is just an axe & has no course correction, so you can dodge it.

-Now the entire control panel.

-The Mines: These won't affect you in the level, but they're meant to. They're an outer defensive layer meant to be used in case of invaders. These are also some of the few things that have no nullification if you don't happen to be the person with the buttons, so...good thing you're the person with the buttons. They're probably just wireless explosives, nothin too special.

-The armor gas: This is another case where it would be bad if you weren't the one controlling it, because there's no good way to prevent them from spraying gas. I mean, you could try corking the nozzle, but that could lead to buildup. This stuff is green, however. It only gets turned against you once, but the way to keep that from happening is to just empty the tank preemptively.

-The rest of the death spots in the level are murder attempts.

Safe & Sound:

-The laser defense system: The lasers can kill you, they just generally won't in normal gameplay (AKA you're not standing up & trying to see the posters on the walls & running face first into a laser). These you can't stop from happening, but you can disarm them by overheating their generator.

-Camera Laser: This is Yet Another Laser. It's beefier than the others, though, and if I had to hazard a guess, it could be an actual Zoraxis Thing. In any case, it's a laser, it's on a camera. The camera is moving fairly slowly, so you can just dismantle the camera once you get the drill working.

-Rocket Launcher: That Sure Fucking Is One. It's motion-triggered, which leaves a fairly wide opening, since you have telekinesis. Really, all you have to do to disarm it is wiggle a plate in its general direction & get it to shoot itself. Then you can get the battery & escape.

Rising Phoenix:

-Elevator Security: I guess this counts? It's just an incendiary explosive that gets ejected if you use the wrong card. There's no way to stop it (on the bottom floor) once you've gotten it deployed, but you can just avoid deploying it by using the correct card.

-The Cable Saw: There's like 3 ways to disable this right? The battery, the cattle prod, the functioning battery, & maybe you might be able to spray it with flaming lubricant. In any case, you can't avoid it, but it's not hard to turn off. (this does not mean it doesn't fuck you over later, though)

-The Briefcase: This looks like a deathtrap on the surface. The components are all there. A briefcase controlling whether or not a missile launches, a countdown timer, tense music...and then it's not really? Sure, you can fail, but there's nothing that's going to hurt you if you fuck up one of the briefcase panels. There's no immediate consequence & it bugs the hell out of me. In any case, this is another one of those unavoidable ones, but disarming it is fairly simple. Make a Z in the top left, hit the buttons at (approximately) 12, 7, and 6, and then light up all the blue lights with the slider (iirc i prefer to go up, all the way right, down, left, right, down, ending in the bottom right corner).

-The Elevator Falling: This counts. It's unavoidable, & as of right now we don't know if/how Phoenix survives. I'm saying it counts bc it seems premeditated. Zor has chess themes, they would have thought far enough in advance to go "hey, this is the perfect storm to get a falling elevator, do these things". They also issue you a challenge to survive, so.

On a general analysis, most of the weaknesses seem to be "most people don't have telekinesis" based, which makes sense I suppose.

However, in the latter half of IEYTD 2, most of the traps seem weirdly easy to circumvent, which is. hm.

Anyways, I think this is probably about good for my needs, if i missed anything feel free to point it out bc I probably did

[theburrowsgarden]

Pest Control

If you Google “field mice”, some of the top results you will get are related to pest control. Roaches, crickets, prairie dogs–most people see these things in their home or garden and beeline straight to the pest control section of Home Depot. There are multitudes of options out there for getting rid of these common household pests, many of which are chemical. These products may be advertised as safe around children and pets, but are they safe around the ecosystem? If burrowing owls are your thing–or owls in general!–you may want to double-think grabbing the nearest can of bug spray.

Pesticides can have a more profound effect on predatory bird populations than on the prey that they eat. It makes sense, if you think about it: one mouse may have a small amount of contaminant in its system, but raptors don’t just eat one mouse, much like you can’t just eat a single Pringle®. By eating more and more of these contaminated mice, their predators suffer from rising levels of poisons being metabolized in their system. This can be especially bad for burrowing owls, since they are known to occasionally scavenge for food¹; a rodent that had died from a lethal dose of agricultural pesticides could look like an easy take-out meal for burrowing owls.

Once you pop, you can’t stop (please don't sue me Pringles). Credit to Jeff Strong of Bear River Blogger.

The fact that burrowing owls are pretty tolerant of urban environments also brings them closer to common pesticides used in our attempts to get rid of rats. A huge number of owls in urban environments have traces of anticoagulant rodenticides in their systems, and, concerningly, we don’t really know how much they can tolerate before it becomes too toxic for them to handle, or how these rodenticides will affect their populations.² These chemicals are also persistent, staying in the environment for long periods of time. Although not the primary cause of death, a concerning amount of rodenticide was found in Flaco the Eurasian eagle owl’s blood after he passed away after having been released from Bronx Zoo from vandals and free-roaming for just one year.³

Flaco the Eurasian eagle owl. We miss you, buddy! Credit to Seth Wenig of the Associated Press.

So, it’s obvious that using traditional pesticides can be very harmful to burrowing owls and other predatory raptors. That being said, you might still have an issue with pests in your yard and your home. What are some alternative options? Well, I will preface by saying this: there is no “one size fits all” solution, and many forms of pest management that do not involve chemical pesticides take time to develop. If they don’t work out for you, or if you feel like chemical pesticides can tide you over while you develop less toxic pest control measures, be sure to visit the Environmental Protection Agency’s Do’s and Don’ts of Pest Control for tips on how to minimize potential risk to yourself and your environment. However, if you do decide to go the alternative route, remember that, in the end, you will be creating your own personal habitat, resilient against not only pests, but resilient against disease and climate change as well.

One method you may want to consider, especially for insects, is companion planting. Though research on how companion planting works is still in its infancy and generally focused on large agriculture, the concepts can still be applied.⁴ By incorporating plants that attract the natural predators for pests into your garden, you will be able to naturally deter and diminish the pest population.

When it comes to the bigger stuff, like field mice, rats, moles, or gophers, there are a lot of simple, nonlethal ways to prevent them from finding a tasty snack in your garden without outright eliminating them from your local ecosystem. After all, their presence is beneficial to the environment, by stirring up the soil and improving its quality as well as creating homes for native wildlife, such as burrowing owls.⁵ One of the easiest, “set it and forget it” type options available may be using a wire mesh basket, often called “gopher baskets”, to put the roots of your plants in as you plant them. These can protect the main body of your plant while allowing for growth and, most importantly, still allowing burrowing critters to do their thing!

An example of a large gopher basket to protect a tree sapling. It’s like a cute little prison for trees! Credit to Deanne Talerico of Homestead and Chill, here is a link to her instructions on how to make these yourself!

This is a particularly short list of actions you can take to make your garden a little more critter-friendly. For more specific information that may be more relevant to the ecosystem you live within, look out for workshops and classes on gardening in your local area! Often run by community centers, these types of gatherings are a great way to connect with other gardeners and share tips on how to make a more sustainable, eco-friendly habitat.

¹Klute, D., Ayers, L., Green, M., Howe, W., Jones, S., Shaffer, J., Sheffield, S., & Zimmerman, T. (2003). Status assessment and conservation plan for the western burrowing owl in the United States. United States Fish and Wildlife: Staff Publications. http://digitalcommons.unl.edu/usfwspubs/483

²Gomez, E. A., Hindmarch, S., & Smith, J. A. (2021). Conservation letter: Raptors and anticoagulant rodenticides. Journal of Raptor Research, 56(1). https://doi.org/10.3356/jrr-20-122

³Hutchinson, B. (2024, March 25). Zoo releases final necropsy results on Flaco the owl’s death. ABC News; ABC News. https://abcnews.go.com/US/zoo-releases-final-necropsy-results-flaco-owls-death/story?id=108479170

⁴Saldanha, A. V., Gontijo, L. M., Carvalho, R. M. R., Vasconcelos, C. J., Corrêa, A. S., & Gandra, R. L. R. (2019). Companion planting enhances pest suppression despite reducing parasitoid emergence. Basic and Applied Ecology, 41, 45–55. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.baae.2019.10.002

⁵Davidson, A. D., Detling, J. K., & Brown, J. H. (2012). Ecological roles and conservation challenges of social, burrowing, herbivorous mammals in the world’s grasslands. Frontiers in Ecology and the Environment, 10(9), 477–486. https://doi.org/10.1890/110054