#nonverbal Steve Harrington

[flowercrowngods]

some hurt/comfort cuddles for @t-boyeddie. because you deserve nice things and cuddles

🤍 also on ao3

Steve feels endlessly pathetic pulling up to the Munson trailer with a hammering heart at two in the morning, feeling like he has nowhere else in the world to go. It’s a lie. He knows it’s not true, knows that his brain is lying to him, knows that his thoughts got all tangled up and messy somewhere between noon and midday, knows that all he has to do is breathe through it and just get this day over with.

But he can’t breathe. And he can’t sleep. And he—

He needs a hug. He needs Eddie and his stupid, sweet, lovely koala hugs with his goddamn hair all up in Steve’s face. He needs it so badly that he can’t wait until tomorrow — and now here he is, pulling up to the trailer.

He gasps a little in the silence of the car when he spots a familiar figure sitting on the front steps, a blanket around his shoulders and a cigarette in his hand. Tears spring to his eyes — pathetic little tears that he refuses to allow right now, so he blinks them away. But the longer he looks at Eddie sitting right there, looking up at the approaching car with a smile that’s slowly growing, the more he feels ready to fall apart. And he will, if he’s not held together.

And Eddie is so good at holding him together. Steve needs him close; can’t wait even a second longer.

Steve cuts the engine and is out of the car in one swift move, walking over to wonderful, beautiful Eddie who is gloriously, miraculously awake.

His quick steps on the gravel match the loud, rapid beating of his heart, and then Eddie is getting up, closing the distance between them just as fast, until they’re crashing together in a tangle of arms and a gentle hand on the back of his head that’s pulling him close, close, closer.

“Hey, baby,” Eddie breathes into his cheek, his temple, his hair, and Steve wants to melt into him. Wants to cry now that the world smells like Eddie again, feels like Eddie again; now that the world is Eddie again. “Are you okay?”

He shakes his head where it’s still hidden in the crook of Eddie’s neck, his hands clenching in the soft, worn shirt he’s wearing to sleep. He wants to say, No, not really. Wants to say, It’s stupid. I was just lonely for a little too long. Missed you. Missed you, missed you, missed you.

But he can’t say anything. The words get lodged in his throat and the thought of speaking makes the world feel so overwhelming again, makes him feel like a failure and a fuck-up and all those things his mind tells him that he is on nights like this.

Things that he knows he isn’t. He knows! But knowledge doesn’t protect him on nights like this.

What protects him is the way Eddie sways them gently this way and that, silent in his own right — humming slightly to give Steve something to focus on. It makes his eyes sting again, so he burrow’s further into his love’s neck.

“I’ve got you. Was waiting for you, you know? Had a feeling. Just a feeling, Stevie. So glad you came.”

It’s good. It’s good he’s here. Eddie is glad. Eddie doesn’t judge him or hate him or think he’s too much, think he’s pathetic, think he should talk and explain and be as strong as they both know he can be.

Steve takes a deep breath, inhaling Eddie’s scent, his shampoo, his aftershave, the cigarette smoke and the laundry detergent. It settles him, and he can practically feel his frayed mind smoothing out, can feel his racing heart slow down, can feel his hands unclench from Eddie’s shirt as he breathes like he couldn’t all day and all night.

Once he’s calm enough that he doesn’t feel like he’s about to snap and break and crumble any second now, he slowly lifts his face and meets Eddie’s eyes. Even in the dark, illuminated only by the street lights and scarcely lit porch lamps, he looks so kind. So patient. So genuine.

So, so lovely.

“Hi,” he breathes, carding a hand through Steve’s hair, and Steve feels like a fragile little thing again — but gentler this time, because he knows Eddie is holding him. Because he knows Eddie won’t let go.

“Hi,” he croaks, wanting to try again with the words. It doesn’t feel good, doesn’t feel right. Maybe tonight isn’t for talking then.

“Do you wanna come inside? Stay the night with me? I’d hate to let you go now that I have you, Stevie. How’s that sound?”

He nods before Eddie even finished the first question, watching the smile unfold on his face until it’s full and wide, his hand not stopping its motions through Steve’s hair.

“Come on in, then, beautiful.”

Eddie leads him by the hand, leads him inside, entirely unwilling to let Steve go. He guides him through the dark trailer that Steve knows so well by now and doesn’t let go of his hand even as he makes him sit on the bed.

Steve looks up at him as Eddie steps between his legs and holds him close again, knowing that Steve loves this position. He can hear Eddie’s heart beating like this, can wrap his arms around him completely and just hold on forever and ever as Eddie plays with his hair.

“You’re pretty,” Eddie murmurs then. “And smart. And kind. And I’m incredibly lucky to have you here with me, Stevie. Do you know that?”

He does. It’s not why he’s here. It’s not why he can’t talk tonight. He just… He just needs Eddie.

So he doesn’t react, which is a language they have made for nights like this, and instead holds on even tighter around Eddie’s middle and leans back, falling onto his back on the bed and pulling a laughing Eddie with him, who gets the memo instantly and wraps his entire body around Steve.

The grounding weight of Eddie on top of him is what makes a few of the silent tears fall, because he gets to have this now. Because it’s okay. It’s good. Eddie loves him. He’s not a fuck-up.

Eddie brushes a kiss to his forehead, his nose, his cheek, and holds him. Tells him good things in a soothing tone sometimes that go right over Steve’s head because he’s busy losing himself in the steady beat of Eddie’s heart, the rise and fall of his chest that he’s now resting his cheek on, with Eddie’s arms around his shoulders. He’s focused on the vibrations of his voice that carry through his whole body and right into Steve’s. It’s a magical feeling that he wants to chase, so he trails his fingers down from Eddie’s adam’s apple to the middle of his chest, and up again, every time he talks. It makes Eddie laugh, makes him shiver, makes him brush more kisses to Steve’s forehead.

Quiet cuddles in the dark of Eddie’s room allow Steve to breathe again even as he buries his nose in Eddie’s neck, almost smothering himself just to make him laugh again, call him ridiculous, and tell him, “I love you.”

Steve smiles until he falls asleep still half on top of Eddie, who promises not to let him go. And he doesn’t. He won’t.

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

Funions & Scooby Snacks

Just a scene that came up in my head I’m shocked I felt motivated to write at all but here’s a apocalyptic steddie au where Steve is nonverbal. I might try to edit it better later who knows

Eddie slams his cross bow down, throwing himself to the floor not moving his watchful eyes from Steve. His hair is greasy, sticking to his forehead and matted together from weeks of no shower. His face was covered in dirt but Steve had already grown used to this look on the other. Steve doesn’t say anything, stays seated with his legs crossed as he slowly chews on the stale gummy Scooby Doo snacks he found at the gas station a couple of miles back. They were probably outdated but they were something.

“I can’t believe you are seriously sitting in front of me right now, eating Scooby doo snacks while I sit here and starve!” Eddie snaps. He gets grumpy when he’s hungry, but they also both know he didn’t like the texture of the gummy’s. He would spend a longer time holding himself back from throwing up then bitching about being hungry.

Steve doesn’t say anything, never does. Just looks over the fire at him as he purposely pulls another gummy from the small back. Letting the crinkling sounds echo through the woods. Before putting a show on as he pops the gummy into his mouth and begins to chew slowly again. A grin forming on his face as he watches Eddie dramatically gasp. Looking even more offended then before.

“How fucking dare you.” Eddie’s voice is loud, not afraid of the horrors in the woods. Both of them incredibly numb to it, knowing what to do if the man eaters came in crowds instead of being separated and by themselves.

Steve shakes his head amused, smile the only thing showing that he was finding this situation hilarious. Holding back soft chuckles as Eddie dramatically crawls around the fire. Grabbing his bow and carrying it with him out of instinct. Dropping it off to the side in reaching distance as he gets into Steve’s personal space.

Eddie still held a grumpy look on his face, possibly for a few seconds before a grin takes it’s place as he moves forward and tries to steal a gummy. Earning a slap from Steve who glares at him now. Causing Eddie to pout as he flops back down in the dirt dramatically. They both knew that he could catch a squirrel or some small animal for himself easily. Him acting like he was going to die from starvation had become a very common acting skit when they sat alone.

“Oh you have wounded me Stevie! Absolutely wounded me!” His voice is higher pitch, a southern accent poking through as Steve shakes his head amused. Before he moves over to his bag and pulls out a small bag of funions. Throwing them a bit aggressively in Eddie’s face as Eddie pretends to flop around like it hurt worst then what it actually did.

It takes a moment for Eddie to process what Steve gave him, a pause in silence. Before a loud gasp is in the air. “Oh, Stevie I could marry you. You know what-” Steve hears the bag ripping from behind him, the crinkling noise loud and annoying before Eddie is pushing himself off his back and moving forward. Making sure to get Steve’s attention.

“Stevie poo, apple to my pie, the nut to my cheerio, the fruit to my loop, the-“ Steve slaps him in the arm giving him a glare as Eddie laughs manically. Head tossed back as he does. Before he moves crouching into Steve’s space. Holding one of the funions in his hand. A funky looking round ring as he moves taking one of Steve’s hands in his. “Will you marry me puddin?” He teases.

How neither of them weren’t dating yet was beyond Steve’s comprehension. Yet this seemed more fitting for Eddie. He pretends to be offended at the thought of being married to the other before a grin grows on his face as he gives the other his answer with one look. Eddie stumbles over himself as he slides the edible ring on Steve’s finger.

“I do.” Steve says gently, barely above a whisper.

Eddie’s never heard him speak once in the past year and a half they’ve been running around together. A starstruck look on his face as he looks at Steve like he just hung the moon.

Steve’s face is a soft pink as he looks at the other carefully. Eddie grins before he’s tackling Steve, gummies going all over along with the ring on his finger snapping in half in the dirt. Eddie’s on top as his hand carefully caresses Steve’s face. Moving down and gently kissing the other. Both of them wrapped up in their own universe. Pulling away after a moment. Silence taking over them once again before Eddie (like normal) interrupts.

“I don’t think I’m starving anymore Mr.Munson.” He teases as he moves back in for another kiss.

[stevesbipanic]

Eddie sometimes went quiet.

Wayne noticed it after Eddie moved in. He didn't do it as much when he was little and Mary would bring him round, but here he was at ten years old completely silent. When Eddie was little Wayne assumed the boy was just shy, but now that he lived with Eddie he knew that sometimes a whole week would pass with not a peep from the young boy. M

The doctor said it might be a trauma response, might just be something he would do from time to time, either way, Eddie Munson, one of the loudest and dramatic kids Wayne had ever met would still be him, just nonverbal. They worked with a notebook but sometimes Eddie would get frustrated he wasn't being answered fast enough and they were running out of paper.

It was Wayne's buddy from work that presented a solution. "Have you tried sign language? My son was born deaf and Susan and I went to night classes so we could talk to the kid." So that's exactly what Wayne did, he moved his shifts to the day and spent his nights at the school learning to talk to his boy. On his days off he'd show Eddie what he'd learnt and slowly they were able to bridge the gap that the silence presented.

The silent days didn't stop as he grew older, his teachers didn't really understand and sometimes he'd end up in detention with a note saying he was being disrespectful. His friends understood though and enthusiastically asked Eddie to teach them sign language, they'd use it even when Eddie was happily chatting with them, they liked that they shared a 'secret' language from the bullies.

He hadn't had any silent days since Vecna, which Eddie thought was a miracle in itself given the circumstances. However, he woke up a couple months after spring break knowing what kind of day it was going to be. He felt frustrated with himself, he was supposed to be hanging out with Steve and Robin today and was worried with how they'd take it, especially Steve. They'd been dancing around each other's feelings lately and he didn't want to ruin everything before it even started. Resigned he grabbed a notebook and pen and headed to Family Video.

He'd spent ten minutes psyching himself up in the parking lot before heading inside, note written and ready explaining that no it wasn't anything Upside Down related, he just wouldn't be speaking today. The door's bell rings in his ear as he stops suddenly staring at the scene before him. Steve and Robin were, quite rapidly, signing at each other. Steve turns at the bell, smiling at Eddie.

"Eddie!"

Still in a bit of shock, Eddie signs on instinct, "You know sign?"

Steve has the same look of shock now, before his face breaks into an even bigger smile and signs back, "You know sign! You know sign, how, why?"

His hands are faster than his brain as he explains how he goes quiet sometimes, and Wayne and night classes and Hellfire before asking Steve how he and Robin know sign.

Steve looks bashful as he signs back, "Um, after Starcourt my hearing started to go, so Robin, ever the linguist, insisted we learn, which was actually very smart of her. I can still kinda hear but I get by mainly on lip reading."

Things started to make sense now to Eddie, how sometimes Steve seemed to just nod and smile at whatever the kids were saying, or would need things repeated to him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you tell me about going nonverbal? Robbie has days like that too."

"Didn't want you to think I was weird."

"I like that you're weird, I like you, Eds."

Eddie blushes at what he interprets is his sign name from Steve, the letter E and the sign for love combined.

"I like you too, Stevie." Eddie signs, the letter S mixed with the sign for heart.

Eddie may still have his silent days, but now he shares them with Steve, and they can sign the things he's not allowed to say out loud, making sure they both know they're loved.

[mothofmyth]

Autistic Steve feeling guilty that he's nonverbal a lot around Eddie (because he's not masking and not overcompensating by being as gregarious as possible like he does with most people), feeling bad that he's not giving as much to Eddie as he gives to most people.

Eddie who's not at all upset about Steve being quieter around him, feeling grateful that Steve is comfortable enough with him to not need that crutch when it's just the two of them.

[lesbianrobin]

steve & robin in "chapter three: the monster and the superhero"

[hargrove-mayfields]

and the Steve to match! 💛 🦕 ⌨️

[acasualcrossfade]

Whumpril Day 12: Toxic

Holding On

Written for @whumpril Day 12:   Friendly Fire | Toxic | “Get away from me!”

Steve and Eddie, Steve/Eddie

Words: 467

Rating: T

TW: blood, injury, fainting, struggling to breathe

Steve and an injured Eddie struggle to breathe as they stumble back towards the Gate.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“We’ve got to keep going,” Steve pushed. His chest tightened as he struggled to take a breath deeper than short pants. It was too hard to breathe. His hand was a vice around Eddie’s and Steve felt a sick pang of guilt for nearly dragging the other man along.

Steve looked back at Eddie and cursed. Eddie wasn’t doing well.

Eddie’s steps were a broken stagger and he’d curled in on himself somewhere along the way and was stumbling forward nearly bent in half. His breath came out in ragged spurts as he pressed a hand to his injured side. Even in the dim red light of the Upside Down, Steve could see the shine of blood as it coated Eddie’s fingers. Moaning, Eddie coughed wetly and spat a mouthful of blood on the ground. He wiped it away with the back of one hand.

“Eddie? Shit,” Steve cursed. The toxic air made him want to choke and he could feel the putrid smell coat his throat. He coughed, and for the hundredth time, wished that he’d remembered to bring his face cover and goggles. 

“Just p-peachy, Harrington,” Eddie stuttered and spat again. Even his voice that usually was upbeat was strained. He winced, curling in on himself.

“C’mon Munson, we-we’re almost there,” Steve encouraged. They were close enough to the gate but far enough for Steve to bite down a shiver to worry. 

Eddie coughed again and spat. His entire frame shook as he stood and Eddie’s ragged breathing made Steve’s insides twist with worry. 

“S’need a…m-minute.” Eddie’s one eye had gone glassy and unfocused and he swayed once before his body tilted forward. 

Steve managed to catch Eddie in his arms as he quietly passed out. Swiping Eddie’s curls off his bruised face, he tapped the man’s cheek.  “Eddie? Eddie, please, man.”

They were so close to the Gate. 

They were so close. 

Eddie moaned listlessly in response. One hand reached out before gripping Steve’s jacket sleeve. His grip tightened, then loosened, and then tightened.

I’m here.

Steve let out a breathy sob of relief. “O-okay Munson. I got ya.” Steve wasted no time positioning Eddie’s head in his arms and wrapped an arm around the crook of the man’s legs. He hoisted Eddie up easily, keeping his knees bent to support him. “Y-you’re okay.” Steve choked out. “You’re okay.” 

Eddie’s grip didn’t loosen as Steve carried him. 

Steve kept repeating those two words to Eddie as he traveled the final stretch to the Gate. His chest screamed for oxygen and his arms shook, but Steve pushed on. Eddie kept his hold on him and Steve was thankful that every few minutes, he’d feel the squeeze of his jacket. 

Each squeeze made Steve shiver with relief. 

They’d be okay. They’d make it and they’d be okay.

[a-little-unsteddie]

sleepless nights

written for @steddiemicrofic’s december prompt, pine. not sure if it makes sense at all, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i think it does and i like it.

wc: 508 || prompt: pine || rating: g || tags: semi-nonverbal!steve, insomniac!steve, pre-steddie

—

Ever since July, Steve often found himself unable to sleep. It wasn’t every night, but it was definitely more of them than he’d ever care to admit. He would lay in bed, staring at the unchanging popcorn ceiling, willing himself to fall asleep, to close his eyes and let sweet unconsciousness take him.

Those nights, it didn’t matter how much Steve wanted it, sleep eluded him. So, instead of laying there uselessly, he would get up and pull on some clothes, grab his bat, and head outside. To the forest.

Mostly, he didn’t pay attention to where he was going, Steve would just wander the woods. He lost himself, most of the time. Zone out, listening to the sounds of the woods around him, letting it soothe the anxiety that more monsters lurked around the pines.

This was one of those sleepless nights.

He couldn’t remember how long he’d been walking, but the moon was high and bright in the sky, casting the forest in a dim light. The steady crunching of the leaves beneath his feet helped him focus on nothing at all, instead letting his attention wander.

“Harrington?”

The sudden voice startled Steve badly enough he prepared to swing at the intruder before logic caught up and he was able to stop himself.

“Woah, woah, woah!” the voice continued in a panicked tone, which Steve thought was understandable, given he was definitely about to swing his nail-studded bat at him.

A figure came into focus in front of him, first the wild hair, then the Hellfire shirt, and Steve knew exactly who had found him.

“Munson.”

“Whatcha got there, buddy?” Eddie asked, voice concerned. Steve blinked slowly and glanced at the bat.

“…a bat.” he explained uselessly.

Eddie hummed, all high-pitched and whiny, “Yeah, bud? What for?”

Steve pondered this for a moment, “..monsters..” he settled on.

Eddie didn’t look relieved at that answer, and held out a hand, “Why don’t I take that from you, sweetheart?”

Steve blinked, looked at the bat, still poised for a swing, and slowly lowered it into Eddie’s hands. The metalhead immediately looked more relaxed, but still concerned about Steve.

“Let’s get you somewhere…not here,” he said, gently trying to coax Steve with him. Unable to really fight back, and not really wanting to, Steve followed his lead.

“What..” he tried speaking, but his voice got stuck in his throat. Eddie looked at him curiously, so he tried again. “Why…in the woods?”

“Nothing important,” Eddie assured, “at least, not more important than getting you out of here.”

“Like your voice,” Steve mumbled, suddenly feeling the exhaustion that had been hidden behind the fear, the unending anxiety that something was still out here.

“Do you?” Eddie asked, effectively distracting Steve from his thoughts. “Luckily for you, I do too.” he said jokingly, before starting to talk about anything that came to his mind. He talked about his band, the nerd club the kids were also in, his uncle, anything to keep Steve distracted.

At least until they got to his trailer.

[steddieas-shegoes]

Chapter 3

of  this post /  Chapter 2 / read it all on ao3 Here

Steve was warm.

He was also naked in a bath that belonged to Eddie.

It was a nice bath, much larger than the one he and Robin rarely used, and full of bubbles that smelled like peppermint.

Eddie told him it would help keep him awake, but also help him stay relaxed.

He was right.

He was also currently making Steve a grilled cheese (his favorite) and letting him listen to music through his phone speaker (his relaxing playlist that he used for his paperwork hours at home). He’d made sure the bath was hot, but not scalding the way Steve usually had it. He didn’t leave the room until Steve was laying in the bath, head resting against the towel Eddie set up along the edge, eyes closed to keep his senses dulled. According to Eddie, that was really important.

He’d lit a few candles and kept them on the side of the sink, then shut off the light before leaving to make Steve’s sandwich.

Steve was still completely unable to speak.

That was more than a little unnerving.

He knew what he needed and wanted to say, but nothing came out.

But he trusted Eddie for some reason. He’d unpack that later.

Maybe.

Probably not.

For a guidance counselor, he wasn’t that great at giving himself guidance. Or counseling.

“Stevie?”

“Hm?”

Hey! Progress! He made a noise!

“Got your sandwich,” Eddie held up the plate and smiled at Steve, who had opened his eyes, but hadn’t bothered to lift his head from where it rested against the back of the tub. He was too comfy. “You wanna dry your hands so you can eat?”

He wanted to eat, but he certainly didn’t want to move. His hands were so warm in the water. If he took them out of the bath they’d be cold and probably pruned, which was not attractive.

Not that it mattered if he was attractive, but he didn’t want Eddie to have anything else to add to the list he’d titled ‘Why Steve Harrington Is Not A Catch.’

“Sunshine, you have to eat something.”

Steve sighed. He blinked at Eddie in hopes that he would understand what he was trying to say.

Eddie sat down on the floor next to the tub and lifted the sandwich up to Steve’s mouth.

That wasn’t what Steve was trying to say, but he couldn’t really argue since he was still apparently nonverbal.

Eddie had briefly explained that that happened a lot during subspace, and sometimes it happened during a drop.

Steve took a bite of the sandwich and groaned.

It was good.

Or maybe he was just really hungry.

Either way, he leaned in to take another bite before he’d even finished chewing the first. He didn’t even care if it was disgusting or rude, he just needed to eat.

“Good boy. But don’t eat too fast, sunshine. Don’t want you to feel sick.”

“Mhm.”

Steve relaxed again, letting Eddie hold the sandwich up to his mouth to take a bite every minute or so.

It was nice. Too nice.

Steve had never been taken care of like this. Even when he was with Nancy, she would usually leave him alone when he was sick or tired, not wanting to expend the energy it takes to get him through an illness or exhaustion.

He was a little needy sometimes. He covered it up well after Nancy, not wanting anyone, not even Robin, to know he sometimes needed someone to care for him.

He hadn’t even noticed he drifted off again until Eddie was running his fingers through his barely wet hair.

“C’mon sunshine. Water’s getting too cold. Gotta get you in bed.”

And then he was in what he assumed was Eddie’s bed in what he assumed were Eddie’s clothes in what he assumed was big trouble.

He let himself feel safe.

He hadn’t felt safe in a long time.

– – – – – – – – – –

When he woke up, he was alone.

He was used to being alone.

In fact, a part of his brain told himself he would have been more worried if he wasn’t alone.

But he wasn’t in his bed, which meant at some point very recently he wasn’t alone.

And then it all came rushing back to him.

This was Eddie’s bed. Eddie, the tattoo artist he barely knew, who helped him through whatever the fuck he went through yesterday.

He turned onto his side and nearly fell out of bed when he saw that he wasn’t alone. Eddie was asleep, body curled up facing Steve, but keeping some distance between them. His breathing was slow and quiet, and his body looked relaxed despite the uncomfortable looking position he was in.

Steve watched as Eddie slept, thinking through the events of the night before.

Eddie had known what to do, what he needed, and how to make sure he got it even when he couldn’t speak. He hadn’t taken advantage of him, even though it would have been easy to do with Steve so out of it.

Eddie let out a snore and Steve couldn’t help the endeared smile that crossed his face.

Nope, you stop that right the fuck now, Steven Harrington.

He was about to slap himself in the face to prevent himself from actually having feelings when Eddie’s eyes shot open.

They stared at each other for a moment, and then Eddie smiled, and Steve was definitely in trouble.

“Hey, sunshine.”

“Um. Hi.”

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah. I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I can get dressed.”

Steve started to sit up, but Eddie reached his hand out to stop him.

“No rush. Seriously, take your time. I don’t have to be at the shop until 12 today.”

Which reminded Steve that it was Sunday, he had nowhere to be, and he was currently very cozy. Maybe he could stay for a little while. Just until he was more awake.

“I don’t wanna take up more of your time. You’ve done enough I think.”

“It’s fine, Steve.” Steve felt himself make a face at the name and Eddie’s brows furrowed. “What?”

“I dunno. Just used to you saying Stevie or Sunshine.”

Eddie smirked at him and Steve felt his stomach drop. Where it dropped to, he didn’t know, and he didn’t think he would ever find it again with the way he felt completely hollowed out.

“It’s just as much for me as it is for you, Stevie. That was pretty intense last night.”

His tone was serious, but he kept a soft smile on his face, probably to make sure Steve didn’t run away without talking about some of it.

“Yeah. I’m sorry about everything. I really wouldn’t have even gotten a tattoo if I thought that would happen.”

“Nothing to apologize for. You can’t control it. How would you have known it would happen?” Eddie raised one brow as if to dare Steve to argue. “Exactly. You didn’t know. I’m glad I was around to help. Hate to think what could’ve happened if it was someone else.”

And, yeah, Steve was worried about that now too. Eddie seemed to know a lot about this, so Steve took this opportunity to ask some questions. He certainly couldn’t ask Robin.

It was a long conversation, and Eddie never talked to him like he was stupid. He was patient and kind, and was honest if he didn’t know the answer to something. He occasionally reached out to brush some of Steve’s hair out of his face or squeeze his hand if he seemed like he couldn’t figure out how to phrase something, bringing him back to the present and keeping his thoughts in order.

They went over how he could prepare for it next time, but Steve said he probably wouldn’t be getting another tattoo anytime soon.

Eddie said he would prefer that he come to him if he did or at least have someone who could help him through it if he went somewhere else.

“So, before the drop…” Steve stopped. He didn’t know what he wanted to say. Well, he did, but he didn’t know if actually wanted to say it out loud.

Eddie looked at him expectantly, an encouraging smile pointed at Steve in a way he couldn’t resist.

“Before the drop. I really felt…good. Like I was untouchable and nothing bad could happen. Is that always like that? The subspace thing?”

“I’ve never experienced subspace. I mean, I’ve tried a couple times when I first started messing around with people, but it just didn’t happen for me. But I’ve been with plenty of subs when they’re floating and they describe it like that, yeah. Like you can feel everything and nothing at once, but everything is good. It’s a high you can’t even get from drugs. Which is why the crash from it can be so fucking awful.”

It still didn’t make sense how Steve got to this point, how he had ever reached that high from needles pressing into his skin and Eddie being nice to him, and how he’d fallen so far so fast.

But what Eddie said was exactly how he’d felt the night before. He wasn’t really able to put it into words like Eddie had.

“So will I always drop if I end up there again?”

“Not if you’re with the right person and you can figure out limits and what causes it for you. Everyone is different. For you, it seems like pain might do it, but you would have to be in the right mindset to get there no matter what.”

“I wasn’t really in any type of mindset last night.”

“Maybe it didn’t seem like it. But it’s hard to really know when you weren’t expecting it.”

Steve bit his lip. How could he have not known? How did he make it to 27 years old not having a clue?

“Hey.” Eddie’s thumb rubbed against his bottom lip, pulling it away from his teeth. “You didn’t know. It’s normal for a lot of people to never know. If you weren’t into the scene before, how would you know? But now you do. And now you just have to be careful in the future. I don’t want anyone to hurt you.”

Steve was gonna die right here in Eddie’s bed. Who the fuck just says shit like that? His heart skipped a beat like in those stupid romance books Nancy used to read.

How dumb.

“Is pouting your natural state?”

Steve pouted harder, bottom lip pushing out as far as he possibly could just to be ridiculous.

It was worth being and feeling ridiculous to hear Eddie’s laugh.

“Listen, I know I just threw a lot at you and you may have more questions. You’ve got my number on that tattoo care sheet, so make sure you call me or text me if you have any questions, okay? And if you want another tattoo and don’t feel comfortable going somewhere else, I’m happy to do it all over again, hopefully without the drop this time.”

“What if I wanted to float again? Without the tattoo.”

Steve should shut his mouth. He really should shut his fucking mouth.

Eddie searched his face, much like he did the night before. What the hell was he looking for?

He glanced behind Steve for a moment and then back at him.

“I’ve gotta get up and get ready. But we have to have a really big talk before I can agree to that.” Steve felt his own face fall, but Eddie quickly continued. “Not because I don’t want to, sunshine. I think you’re at the part of the post-high feeling where you wanna reach it again right away. That can be really bad for you and for me, okay? But I’m done at 7 tonight. You busy?”

Steve was never busy on the weekends unless Robin was dragging him to a club and he’d be damned if he tried to go to a club instead of being with Eddie.

Which is another thing he probably should start unpacking very soon.

“No. I have work at 7:30 in the morning though.”

“Ah, right. Guidance counselor.” Eddie smirked. “Nothing’s gonna happen tonight except talking. You could also…bring stuff to spend the night here if you want.”

Eddie seemed incredibly nervous to even suggest it, and maybe if it was anyone else, Steve would’ve laughed and ran out the door, never to look back at the batshit insane person trying to have him spend the night within 24 hours of knowing him.

But Steve thought about how well he slept in Eddie’s bed with Eddie last night, and he thought about how his bed was pretty lonely, and how maybe waking up here again would make him feel better about having to exist on Monday.

“Yeah. I could do that.”

Eddie’s answering smile was nothing short of blinding.

“Great! Okay. Let’s head on back to the shop so you can get your car. Is Robin home?”

“Probably. She’s probably waiting to see my name on the news with the headline “Dead Body of Idiot Man Trying To Get First Tattoo Found” and a picture of me from the yearbook.”

Eddie let out a loud laugh.

It was nice.

Usually, Steve got annoyed when people laughed so loudly, but Eddie’s was nice.

Eddie was nice.

“So. 7?”

“Yeah, sunshine.”

— — — — — — — — — —

Eddie didn’t let Steve stray far while they got ready to leave.

Steve would never admit how much he loved it.

During the drive back to the shop, Eddie played music Steve had never heard, and probably never would have if not for him. He didn’t exactly like it, but he didn’t mind it, especially when he watched Eddie sing along with a passion Steve hadn’t really ever felt.

They didn’t need to talk and Steve didn’t feel pressured to try.

He hadn’t felt so comfortable around someone since he first met Robin, and he was holding onto the panic he knew was coming when he was alone.

He was still feeling tired. His emotions had been on a hell of a journey over the last 18 hours, and Eddie had already warned him he probably would be feeling the effects of it all for another day or so.

But Eddie also explained that without the drop, it’s worth it.

He wanted to know what that felt like.

And he wanted to know what it felt like with Eddie.

So when they arrived at the shop and said goodbye, Eddie hugged him tightly, holding him against his chest. Steve wasn’t much shorter than him, but he managed to fold himself into him without being uncomfortable, resting his face against his collarbone and breathing in the scent he was already addicted to.

They separated, but neither seemed ready or willing to.

Did Eddie feel this pull the way Steve did? Was Steve just attaching himself to someone who helped him through his most vulnerable time?

As he walked away, he looked over his shoulder to find Eddie staring after him, keeping eyes on him as he walked to his car. He was frowning.

Maybe he did feel as much as Steve. 

Chapter 4

TAG LIST:  @invisibleflame812 @inmoonywetrust @captain-daryn @carlyv @lillemilly @spectrum-spectre @raisedbylibrarians @estrellami-1 @gregre369 @mightbeasleep @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @bornonthesavage @loguine-linguine

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

i have a request! can u write a fic where r just feels like crap like she has no motivation to do any work or study for uni and maybe steve just helps her out? ly <33

i’ve been in these similar situations where depression or a funk is soooooo bad i just rotted in bed in the dark. if you’re ever feeling alone you could always come into my inbox/dms to talk.

steve harrington x gn!reader

masterlist

everything feels drab. draining. grey. there’s not an ounce of energy in your body to even lift your head from your pillow. the little shimmers of light filtering through your shut blinds felt blinding on your heavy eyes.

work sucks, taking every single piece of your soul everyday. school is stressful, having a breakdown after a three hour study session in the library. you want to drop out, you want to be unemployed- you just want to barely exist.

there was a gentle knock on your bedroom door, you couldn’t even mange a simple hum or “come in”, you just stayed silent. a faint creak of hinges signaled that your guest was peeking into your room.

“honey?” it was steve. his tone was soft, not wanting to disturb, “you awake?” you just did a light shuffle, moving your head from under your blanket. a nonverbal invitation to enter further.

steve closed the door behind him and made his way to your curled in side, the bed dipping with his weight. his palm rested on your covered hip, a comforting back and forth swiping. “how we feeling today?” a question steve asked when you were in a funk.

left cheek pressed into your pillow caused your lips to pucker and butcher your answer. steve leans in closer, asking for you to repeat yourself. even that felt like too much work.

“empty.” the one word pushed from your mouth, heavy on your tongue. eyes staring a hole into your wall, smile and laughing faces mocking you.

steve rubbed a line over your hip, “okay.” said in a tone a sad mother uses on their kid. you felt like you just disappointed steve. it’s not like you want to be down, it just happens and is a bitch to deal with.

a blur started to cover your sight, “i’m sorry.” throat getting choked by the oncoming tears. you wanted to bury yourself away.

“hey, no, no. it’s okay to feel this way. everyone feels this way at times.” hand leaving your hip to caress at your cheek, wiping away the few tears beginning to drop.

“it’s- it’s different.” “i now.” you both know that’s not the whole truth.

steve tucked a few greasy hair strands behind your ear, “why don’t we get a bath? feeling clean is always a nice step for a better mind. i could change your bedding as well, also make a snack to eat. what you say?” his thumb a simple weight on your cheek, his fingers pressing lightly into your neck.

a bath does sound nice. you were starting to feel the oil clogging your pores and you had a inkling that your room was starting to develop a smell that you were ignoring. you know what they say, a clean space helps a clean mind, or something like that.

“that… that sounds nice.” making eye contact with steve for the first time today.

his smile was beautiful. “okay, i’ll get it ready then come back.” before leaving he pressed a love filled kiss to your forehead and another before walking to the bathroom down the hall.

less than five minutes later steve reappears in your doorframe, a new glow following him. “your bath, ma’lady.” standing before you with a hand stretched out in waiting.

“will you stay with me?” pushing your comforter away and swinging your feet to the floor. steve took your hand, holding you delicately like glass. “for a little. i gotta do my other stuff. i can wash your hair if you want.”

“please?” already feeling your shoulders loosen at the feel of steve’s fingers messaging your scalp. he smiled, sickly sweet before presenting a kiss into your crown, “anything for you.”

[flowercrowngods]

When Eddie finds Steve lying on the living room floor, he’s not concerned at first. It’s what he does sometimes, and Eddie himself can appreciate a bit of floor time on occasion, too, but for Steve it’s sacred. So he smiles and sits down beside him, grabbing his hand to play with his fingers, a “Hey, pretty boy” already on his lips before he freezes.

Because Steve isn’t all relaxed like he usually is, with his mind just a few inches off to the side where everything is calm and fine and better. And when he finally meets Eddie’s eyes, they’re not glazed over but sharp. Sharp with something that cuts right through Eddie, because he’s seen this look before, and he knows just what to do.

“Stevie, baby, I’m right here. I’m gonna make a call, okay, I will be right back.” When Steve opens his mouth, Eddie just leans down to press a kiss to his forehead. He’s not sure how much invasion of space is allowed, but Steve is still holding his hand so that has to count for something, right? “Shh, don’t speak,” he whispers. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

He tries not to kiss Steve like he’s about to break, or talk to him like something’s wrong, because nothing is wrong. Steve is not wrong for getting like this sometimes, it’s not his fault; it’s not something Eddie can’t handle. Steve doesn’t deserve to feel like he’s somehow wrong for getting into that headspace where words just won’t come out of his mouth and he needs to lie down and hope that will help.

Which, today it didn’t, apparently.

Eddie gets up with one last kiss to Steve’s hand and a reassuring smile, and goes to make a phone call. There’s only one person who can help Steve get out of his head, and Eddie doesn’t really understand it, nobody does, but they all know it.

“Hey, Joyce,” he sighs in relief when she answers the phone. “Is El home?”

“Eddie! Yes, she’s there, what… Steve?”

“Steve.”

Joyce sighs and Eddie knows she’s worried and wants to tell her not to be, it’s not fair to be worried, Steve hates when they worry, but. He’d be a hypocrite.

“You know you don’t have to ask, honey. Get over here, I’ll make some cocoa.”

With a smile, Eddie hangs up and goes back to Steve, crouching down beside him to stroke the hair out of his face. “Hey there again, pretty boy. I’m gonna drive over to Joyce’s, wanna tag along?”

What he really wants to say is, I’ll take care of you. Everything is gonna be just fine. But Steve doesn’t like the fuss. That kind of discussion is for another day, though. When Steve can actually get a word in.

That is how they find themselves in the Hopper-Byers household, Eddie holding Steve’s hand as the boy tries to make himself smaller than he is — like every time. Joyce doesn’t fuss, and Eddie knows just how much that takes, knows that Joyce is so much stronger than him in moments like this.

“Steve,” comes a small voice from the door to Eleven’s room, and Eddie finds the girl approaching them slowly. Beside him, Steve sways and Eddie tightens his grip for a second, brushing a kiss to Steve’s cheek before letting him go.

Eleven wraps her arms around Steve’s middle and the two of them just hold each other. They have a bond that none of them truly understand, one that Eddie knows even Robin is jealous of. But it makes sense, he figures. On some kind of deeply existential level, it does make sense for Eleven to be the one who can help Steve when he’s nonverbal like this.

Maybe because she doesn’t talk much. Maybe because around her he doesn’t feel like he has to be anyone or anything because it’s all the same to her. Or maybe there’s a special kind of magic in the way she will pull him onto the floor, their backs against the couch, his head on her shoulder and her fingers running through Steve’s hair.

They’ve been through something together. Maybe they go through something together every time they talk each other down without words — because in return, Steve does the same for her. It shouldn’t work, but it does.

It’s calm and quiet in the living room and Eddie shares a glance with Joyce before they step outside to give Steve and El some privacy.

“I hate seeing him like this,” Eddie admits finally. It’s hardly more than a whisper, a treacherous little truth that cuts into his heart every time this happens.

“I know,” Joyce says. “Me too.”

“I hate that I can’t help him.”

Oh the truths just keep coming. It’s that kind of moment.

“You’re helping him, honey. You are. But sometimes we need different people for different hurts. And that boy has more than all of us combined. Or… Well, not all of us.” And she’s looking through the window, watching El and Steve still wrapped around each other.

And it’s true. Eddie knows. Maybe that’s why he hates it so much. Steve’s nonverbal episodes are a stark reminder for all the pain he had to take upon himself. Alone. For years.

“Just love him through it,” Joyce continues. “Not despite it, not because it it. Just through it.”

“I am. I do. Don’t think I could stop even if he asked me to.”

She smiles and squeezes his hand. “Good. Now, join me on a run to the bakery? I think they’ll need something sweet when they’re back with us.”

With one last glance through the window, seeing Steve calm and quiet, Eddie bows and offers his arm to Joyce. “I’d be delighted to join you, lady Byers.”

It’ll be fine, he tells himself. They’ll be fine.

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

🐜

*wip wednesday*

Link is above if you want to send an emoji and force me to write (:

The Last of us au

Couldn’t decide what three sentences to use, or paragraphs and just decided to post a small little snippet of the scene im working on (: (im not to happy with how the scene flows so far so this isn’t the final draft lmao)

*unedited and the first draft*

The wind is knocked out of him for a second time as his hands fly up, trying to signal to the other that he was harmless. But that doesn’t seem to matter to the man in front of him.

Steve couldn’t see his face with how dark it was, what he could see was the others longer curls that were now smacking both of them in the face as a soft grunt leaves the both of them. The moment is still rushed with adrenaline as Steve’s eyes open wide.

“Who are you?” The voice rasps out.

Steve leaves his hands up, hoping that he could figure out away of telling the other that he can’t speak. He hasn’t been able to for a long time. He had enough energy to take out a runner but not enough to force his vocal box to work. He’s sure it’s a mental thing, something that could be fixed easily. But he doesn’t want it to. Enjoys not having to talk for the most part. Though this was not one of those situations. He wished he could talk so he could get out of this mess.

The man grows even more agitated when Steve doesn’t answer him, leans in closer so that Steve could faintly make out his features. For someone currently holding him hostage with what seemed to be a beer bottle (now that Steve was paying more attention it was definitely a beer bottle) he looks soft and gentle. Face rounded a bit, looking even more soft with the way his curls framed his face. Obviously young and likely Steve’s age or close to it.

Steve struggles a little as he opens his mouth trying to say something but nothing comes out but a soft whistle. Agitated tears forming in his eyes as the other man loosens his grip on him out of confusion. First mistake. Steve quickly moves, slapping the glass out of the others hand and switches their positions. This whole situated was awkward as he lets the other go pretty quickly, feeling the others body squirm. Steve takes a hesitant step back into a more lighted area as he tries to sign to the other. Thankfully picking up a little from the few books he had found in his bag.

The man looks confused, not understanding what he was saying. “Oh so you are deaf? Sorry pal I can’t understand you.” The other seems to have relaxed a bit more as Steve throws his head back from frustration. “Oh shit, if you’re deaf you can’t understand me can you?” The guys starting to ramble out and Steve fights the urge to slap the palm of his hand against his own face as he quickly drops to his knees. Feeling around for a second before he finds a stick. Moving and waving for the other to join him as he moves to sit under the light.

The other man follows along, hesitating before sitting down along with him. Shoulders tense and his free hand is holding onto something. Steve’s sure it was a weapon, but he knows if he was in the others position he would be doing the same thing. He takes the stick and tries to write words out like they did in the movies. Though he quickly gives up on that idea and throws the branch away from them. Moving his hand, sticking his pointer finger out and starts to write what he wants to say out.

“Can hear, just can’t speak.”

[beep-beep-robin]

*raises head from chest while violently sobbing* autistic steve who‘s not accepted or accomodated by his parents and is forced to mask all the time, because harrington’s can’t be „weird“.

nancy‘s the first person who catches on and lets steve unmask around her, she knows how to help with certain things because she has experience with mike who‘s also autistic.

steve seeing dustin freely stim and infodump and realizing he‘s allowed to do that too.

robin being the person steve feels the most free around, they can communicate without using many or any words.

eddie helping him through meltdowns and cuddling him afterwards, while steve does the same for him. he encourages him to do things related to his special interests, knowing how important they are to him, and how his parents always used to keep him from them.

when steve loses most of his hearing, no one in the party needs to learn sign language because they already did - in case one of them (most often it‘s steve) goes nonverbal.

[mwahmimi]

Party Tattoos / Steve Harrington x female reader / one shot<3

CW- Mention of rough sex, non verbal reader, mentions of consensual impact play, mentions of bruising, BDSM, dom Steve Harrington x submissive female reader, mentions of consensual punishment and sexual aftercare

AN- Party Tattoos is a reference to Party Tattoos by Dodie

“Sweet girl, you did so well” Steve cooed into your ear, his gasp like breaths making the hairs on the back of your neck stand to attention. He proceeded to move down the bed, spreading your legs once more to clean the mess you both had made between your thighs. Taking extra special precautions to avoid grazing across your deeply overstimulated clit. “Almost done Princess, how ya’ feeling now?” All you could do was nod; he’d fucked your vocabulary out of you leaving you completely and utterly nonverbal. This wasn’t a new thing, every time you and Steve fucked, you’d be left a puddle of nerves. Running his fingers across your ass cheeks that were now painted a light pink colour, that was certainly going to turn into pretty bruises. “Took your punishment so well angel, so proud of you.”  

He beamed; you always did love seeing the aftermath of your shared playtime. “Gonna have some more party tattoos on this lil’ ass baby” You grinned at his expression he regularly used for bruises; it should be illegal to be this cute you thought. Rubbing cooling lotion into your marked up skin he sniggered. “I can run you a bath or do ya’ wanna get in the shower with me darlin’?” He smiled softly at you, admiration in his eyes and you could see the smirk he was so desperately trying to hide, he was always so cocky after he made you cum, especially when it was as hard as you did just now.  

Offering your hand to Steve, he helped you up onto your feet, “Let's go get you all cleaned up baby.” You smiled weakly, still coming down off your sex high. Mumbling sweet nothings to your dom as you walked to the shower, lifting your arms up so he could undress you once more. Steve kissed down your wrists to your biceps and neck and in each kiss, you could feel the words “I love you.” He hurt you so passionately, but the aftercare was always matched in energy. 

[abominable-space-they]

Ok everyone has me in a punk Steve & Eleven mind set.

This is refining & combining two separate Steve being close with the girls/El au ideas I've had recently

So, what if Steve was the one who found Eleven on that first night, everything would fall out so differently from there

Since he cancelled on Nancy no party with secret government psychic kid on the property, Barb didn't die. When Will got taken, Barb & Nancy both know Jonathan so they get involved through helping & supporting him.

Meanwhile Steve was panicking while actively hiding a mostly nonverbal child. He's almost certain she's been severely neglected at least, probably abused. Bad things have happened to her, he recognized the signs. He'd been that kid. He sees himself in the way she's jumpy, defensive, weirdly naive, in the way she always waits to see what he's doing first, before she says or does anything herself.

He won't to give her back to whomever she ran from, can't bring himself to do that to another kid. His parents were never home so they're not a problem but he doesn't know what the fuck to do about the government.

In a panic he went to the guy he bought his weed from (he knows how to hide from the cops right?)

Eddie Munson

Eddie didn't know what was going on in Hawkins but what he did know was that all these undercover government vans weren't here for a wild animal attack... or him, thank the Deities for small favors.

So when Steve fucking Harrington showed up on his doorstep with a magical child, panic in his and eyes, and no idea what to do next, Eddie was mostly relieved.

Relieved and maybe just a little intrigued

An escaped secret government psychic kid, a totally different missing kid of the same age, a town full of under cover fbi vans(or worse), and these reported animal attacks had to be connected, if Eddie was running this campaign he would never have this much going on at once that wasn't part of a larger connected story. He just couldn't see the whole picture yet. They needed more information & they needed resources

Jonathan & Nancy had been acting super suspicious the last few days. Eddie usually minded his business but under these circumstances, after a brief urgent discussion, they decided it might be wise to just pop in and see what was what. Maybe they knew what the hell was going on. They could all compare notes at least

They took Eddie's van bc he was not gonna be at the mercy of Steve Harrington for transportation. Doing foolish shit like that could get you hate crimed... Plus being the town weed slinger had it's benefits. He knew where everyone lived.

On the way to try and find the other kids to compare those notes, Eleven, who was very quiet but had an eerie way of just knowing things, found the crate he kept ppl's forgotten tapes in, there was a little bit of everything in that crate, a musical lost and found that he couldn't bring himself to discard, even if he personally thought the music was boring

Eleven picked a tape, waving it at them like it had significance.

Well why not?

Steve showed her how to put it in the tape deck. The Runaways crashed into life on his better then average speakers. Eddie expected Steve to complain, but he just listened very very closely, eyes closed like he was straining to hear the lyrics over the heavy guitars.

"you ok Stevie?"

"huh? Yeah yeah, this is just... relatable. I kinda didn't expect it, you know? ... Do you think they'll be able to help?"

There was only one way to find out, they were here. The Byers residence blinked dimly. Eddie thought the cheer was ominous given the circumstances.

Eleven appeared between the seats, brow furrowed.

"we need to hurry, it's coming"

WELL THAT WASN'T TERRIFYING AT ALL-

[steddieunderdogfics]

the sound of silence by deadratz

@munsonkitten

Rating: Explicit

122,700 words, 20/20 chapters

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Tags: Nonverbal Eddie Munson, Recovery, Slow Burn, Virgin Eddie Munson, Gay Steve Harrington, Disability, Hard of Hearing Steve Harrington, Past Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Living Together, Erectile Dysfunction, Trichotillomania, Coming In Pants, Codependency, Rimming, Frottage, Suicidal Thoughts, past parent death, Past Domestic Violence, Vecna comes back, Anal Sex, Panic Attacks, Near Death Experiences, Unsafe Sex, Hospitals, Coma, Happy Ending, Riding, Top Steve Harrington, Bottom Eddie Munson, Scars

Summary:

After his surviving his attack, Eddie moves around the new Munson apartment like a ghost. Always there, only making his presence known when necessary, and never saying a word. It's haunting to watch someone — once so loud, so full of life and energy — be so fearful and silent. Somehow, for some reason, Steve is the one who makes him feel human again.

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