#not a redditor but this is wonderful

[gayshitanddadjokes]

I love democracy

[petit-papillion]

Redditors on board the Charles train today (Part 2)

[funboxsupreme]

gotta love how grimdank is once again having meltdowns because the "rampant sexualization taking over the sub" extended to men again and they're shaking and crying when they have to see sexy men instead of sexy women

[crimeronan]

god i know i keep half-tongue-in-cheek saying that my dad is literally belos owlhouse but. i've apparently gotten a little desensitized to Just How Bad He Is (because i have ESCAPED, YAY) & so today has been a delightful adventure.

i wrote an AITA post from his POV about stuff that happened several years ago, bc i was curious about how bad he'd get dragged - i updated the timeline but the Only fact i changed was the reason for his Woes (i blamed COVID economic struggles, which actually makes him a Hero compared to the truth. the truth being so ugly i'm not gonna detail it here good god).

i kept it true to POV by only using things that he actually did say to me at the time about why he was doing the things that he was doing, & blocking out all the relevant info about why the wronged party (me) was so upset, & having him praise his daughter (me) and go "i love her so much :) she's so smart and independent and i would never hurt her :)", & having him half-assedly admit he might've sounded unreasonable/angry/malicious, in a way that was clearly supposed to earn Good Dad points for being so Willing To Admit Imperfections, despite a continued constant doubling-down refusal to answer questions about actual important shit or fix anything ever.

cannot emphasize enough that this was not a fictionalized/embellished/creative POV. the only points of fiction were 1) my dad did not write these things on reddit, he said them to me in real life word for word instead and 2) this happened many years ago, not like... yesterday.

anyway the thread blew up and the commenters were all so kind and genuinely worried for me (as in, the daughter) and offering so much help that i hopped on a diff account to be my past self so i could reassure people i'm okay & had a plan in motion for gettin' the hell outta dodge. because i felt REALLY BAD that they didn't know i..... did in fact get out. people were so nice it made me actually fucking cry jesus CHRIST. i had in fact perhaps forgotten that these things were all as bad and worrying as they were

now. this is all a very serious and harrowing-sounding prelude to the actual point of this post, which is. a bullet list of some of my FAVORITE FUCKING RESPONSES. revel in these with me i had so much fucking fun. i have taken DOZENS AND DOZENS of screenshots to peruse whenever i need a healthy dose of Perspective

here they r:

you are CARTOONISHLY EVIL?

HOLY ABUSE BATMAN

DO BETTER. RIGHT NOW.

did you even listen to yourself writing this. HOW

there's something seriously wrong with you. like on an intrinsic unfixable level

hey this happened to me too! my parent died and i had a party about it btw

your daughter is never going to speak to you again after this

(note from the future: yeah)

you're going to act confused and sad when she goes no-contact aren't you

(NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: HE SURE FUCKING IS)

i think you are creating your own problems and then getting mad at them. maybe instead you could not do that

is this ragebait. i can't imagine anyone this horrible actually existing

this isn't ragebait. i can tell this isn't ragebait because I Know This Kind Of Man So Intimately

you are the asshole on literally so many levels i'm going to write a 15 paragraph response line-by-line dissecting everything wrong with you

are you aware that you're lying or are you literally this incapable of 2 seconds of honest self-reflection

i need to donate to a gofundme for your daughter right now immediately

(note from the future: i am not going to scam people by pretending a long-done sitch is a current emergency on gofundme. have no fear.)

wow. okay i'm gonna go hug my mom and thank her for not being you

you are Actually Literally Empirically the Actual Literal Worst Parent who has Actually Literally Ever Existed

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU????

WHO DO YOU FUCKING THINK YOU ARE.

I AM A 57-YEAR-OLD MOM OF FOUR ADULT CHILDREN AND THE MERE THOUGHT OF DOING ANY OF THE THINGS YOU HAVE DONE HERE MAKES ME PHYSICALLY NAUSEOUS

these vibes are so skeevy. leave her the fuck alone????

along with ASTONISHINGLY accurate inferences about exactly what was happening with the daughter (me) in all the missing missing reasons & like..... exactly how the situation was So Much More Ugly And Horrifying than an innocently confused i'm-so-well-intentioned dad-POV post would have you believe.

so. anyway. that was literally the most validating experience i've ever had in my entire life. i know i've said he's a bad guy before but i also always forget just how far beyond the pale he is. like wow that was. that was not a normal average human experience to have growing up huh.

IN CONCLUSION.

if you guys are ever wondering why i am the way that i am about, like........ anything....... everything....... whatever......

just remember.

i was raised by belos owlhouse.

[mini-mecha-cowboy]

i think that guy is so fucked up. when he finally gets the stick out of his ass and gets some hobbies theyre all the weirdest most hyperspecific hobbies youve ever seen. this guy can relate to like 3 people total and goes on obscure internet forums that haven't been updated since 2002 and have maybe 12 people on them

I just remembered this very obscure thing where people watch live streams of random roads or intersections and I can only believe Taka would be all up in that, gotta set himself breaks or otherwise he’d be watching it for a solid 6 hours.

Jumps outta his seat when he sees a stray animal walk by and checks the dinky forum to see if anyone else posted about it, very action packed!

I’m sure he introduces cat/dog live streams to Mondo.

[biocrafthero]

What is with the obsession of YouTubers who like to make videos about real disturbing stuff and using real footage and audio from the incidents like?? I understand your channel is about upsetting stuff but I don't need to see video/hear audio of real people actually dying. It feels disrespectful as hell.

[thepowerofhornyness]

Smash or pass guys

[tamagotchikgs]

airline-safe,,,,,,,,, man imagine going through security with this thing

[chirpsythismorning]

[illumithotti-confirmed]

Reddit just banned me for 3 days for reporting blatant neo-Nazi propaganda in r/Palestine.

Daily reminder that:

• The automatic conflation of Jews with Israel is antisemitic-- not all Jews are Israeli and most Israelis are goyische

• Most support for Israel comes from Western evangelicals: evangelical Christian scripture commands that Jews be concentrated into the former kingdom of Israel and mass-slaughtered in order to enact the Christian Rapture. Many evangelical organizations also advocate for Christians to formally claim Israel and Palestine as their "Holy Land" a la the Crusades.

• The British government is responsible for the formation of Israel, not the Jewish people who were displaced by the Shoah and then barred entry from countries in North America and Europe.

• Jews have been some of the loudest pro-Palestine voices outside of West Asia for the past several decades. Orthodox communities, in particular, have been critical of Israel's existence and government since the territorial expansion 1967 (if not the Nakba of 1948).

• "The Jewish Question" (accusing Jews of being politically two-faced and secretly controlling global society from the shadows) is antisemitic

• You can't be pro-Palestine without also being pro-Jew. Otherwise, you're just using Palestine as a scapegoat for your bigotry, as well as actively harming the Palestinian cause in the process.

[totentnz]

something else ive been thinking about (and many others too probably) if v were to record a braindance would johnny show up on it?

[iphisesque]

cant believe they actually unsealed that bitch. gojo unboxing era fr. insane.

[percabeth4life]

Btw my Gods have also never done anything wrong in their lives

[f1]

[avoidingdestiny]

Always blown away when people on Reddit insist that parents making their oldest kid watch the younger ones is somehow unreasonable.