#not actually 12 years but 30 minutes in the middle of the night

[gateaugoutpile]

It's fic rec time again!

Title: You're stuck with me (so I guess I'll be sticking with you)

Author: @dunbarogers

Length: 3 chapters, 30k words

If I were to tag it, I'd put: 6b fix fic, Liam-centric, action fic but with feelings, bedtime confessions, opening up to each other, Theo knows how to cook gourmet meals (or not), fantastic rendition of Peter Yale's sass and drama, fantastic rendition of everyone's flair and personality, enemies to friends to lovers, Thiam, Liam Dunbar/Theo Reaken, background morey/Scalia, Mason for the win

This is a rewriting of 6b, from the point of view of Liam. It's very sweet and cleverly written, I really liked how his emotions were being discussed by himself and with Theo. They spend the majority of the scenes (and of 6b) together and there's a great transition from ex enemies to confessors, to trusted friends, and it was very lovely to read (and to listen to. I'm that weird person that listens to fanfictions, yes.).

I loved the discussion about Theo not being able to take Mason's pain because, Mason dear, ily, but that was a shitty thing to say, and we actually don't really know how it works, do we? And I liked the explanation given here, how it's about being open to your emotions. Which, you know, makes sense, because it's about taking in someone else's emotions and if you can't deal with yours, you can't deal with someone else's.

I also learnt something about me. The author talks about anger and what makes people angry. For Liam, it's fear, it's canon. For Theo, it's being overwhelmed by feelings, and I think caring for people and being cared for. And I think that for me, it's about being hurt.

So thank you @dunbarogers! I'm looking forwards to reading other works from you :)

[honeekyuu]

take the edge off. [suna rintarou x f!reader] chapter four.

>>You struggle with your weight and body image, but Suna extensively and thoroughly undoes all the damage done by other guys.

or

You haven't gotten laid in over a year, and your best friend takes it upon himself to fix that for you.<<

series status: [complete]

previous. || masterlist. || next.

a/n: some time apart only serves to solidify their obsession with each other,,,, featuring me falling a little bit in love with miya osamu

[feel free to buy me a cup of coffee!]

---------------------------------------

The fall into something more with Suna is easier than you’d thought it be. 

The weekend before he leaves is spent exploring his every fantasy, the dam broken on his hesitation to show you what he’s imagined with you. You’re awoken on Saturday morning to his head buried between your thighs, and you spend the day in every state of undress imaginable, his apartment familiar in a way it had never been before. Sunday is spent much the same, his thoughts of that beach trip come to life and the things you’ve always wanted to try made eagerly into reality.

On Sunday night, you sit in his bed, freshly showered and sporting uncountably many hickies. Suna moves around his room packing for his trip, stopping every five minutes to join you in bed for ten. It easily stretches his 30-minute packing chore into a neat 3 hours, the time spent holding you in his lap and telling you how pretty you are while he kisses gentle comfort into the bruises he’d given you.

You fall asleep that night with his head on your chest, a sleepy admission mumbled into your shirt, so quiet that you think you maybe weren’t supposed to hear it.

“ ‘m gonna miss you. ” 

–

He’s gone before you wake on Monday, but you find a note in his place, his handwriting slanted and rushed.

‘ Stay. You promised.’ 

You linger in his bed with that note pressed to your chest until there’s absolutely no way you’ll be on time for work.

He calls while you’re driving, and you feel a tingly excitement burst in your chest when his name flashes on your screen.

“Miss me already?” You say, leaving him on speakerphone in the middle console.

“ We both know the answer to that .”

You grin, your skin warm. “How was your flight?”

“ Got sat next to a mom and her baby. Baby was cute, mom was not. ”

You grimace, knowing that Suna’s external appearance is not a fan favorite among middle-aged mothers. “‘m sorry, Rin.” 

“ It happens. ” He hums on the other end, and you hear the telltale sounds of airport announcements and people around him while he figures out where to go. After a moment, he seems to decide, because he comes back to you. “ You heading to work? ”

“Mhm,” You start. “Luckily, this cute guy lent me his car, so I’m living the good life this week.”

“ Oh, yeah? What’s he like? ”

“Oh, he’s really something. Ladies love him, moms hate him.”

“ Is that right? Does he know you’ve got a man? ”

“Something tells me he knows.” Your face is burning as you pull up to a parking spot in front of your shop. And then you hear a woman’s voice on the other end, and you’re lifting your brows as you put the car in park.

“ Excuse me. Are you from here, by chance?”

Suna hums in response. “ Does it look like I’m from here? I just got off a flight .”

You shake your head and laugh to yourself at his tone.

“ Oh, well, I’m not, either. Maybe we could be sightseeing buddies? ”

“ Sightseeing–Does that normally work for you? ” He laughs. “ Is that an actual line you use? ”

“ Oh, I just- ”

“ Look,” He cuts her short, and you hear the amused edge in his voice. “ My girlfriend’s on the other end of this call right now, and she will actually kill me and turn me into a mannequin if I don’t stop speaking to you in the next 12 seconds. Is that what you want for me? ”

Your jaw drops, and you’re laughing loudly, knowing he can hear it. The girl he’s with starts to stumble. 

“ A manne-What? Your girl- ”

Suna keeps it up with ease. “ See, now it’s 8 seconds. When she gets to 5, she’s gonna start using forensic technology to track your voice back to your identity. It’s gonna get ugly. ”

“Suna!” You yell, laughing when the girl chokes and rushes off with a panicked ‘ Never mind ’. 

He laughs back. “ That worked remarkably well. I think I just found a new tactic. ” 

“I’m glad you found a new use for me.”

“ You’re very multi-purpose .”

“Suna Rintarou-”

“ Okay, okay! No need for the government name. ”

You’re about to respond, but there’s a harsh knock on the window. You scream, turning, and find Osamu on the other side. He raises an eyebrow while you roll the window down.

“You plannin’ on workin’ from in here today?”

You roll your eyes with a smile. “I get my best work done in Suna’s car, actually.”

Suna bites before you can even realize you’ve put out bait. “ Woah, babe! He doesn’t need to know all that. ” 

Osamu’s face splits in a grin, his pained groan loud despite his obvious amusement. “It’s not even 9am.” 

You just smile back. “Imagine dealing with this 24/7.” 

“ Don’t make me embarrass you, Y/n. I have some very choice memories that would make Osamu’s hair curl-”

“No, thank you!” Osamu crosses his arms, backing away from the car. “I’m very happy in my sweet, vanilla relationship.” 

“ There was this one time on my kitchen counter- ” 

You and Osamu scream at the same time, and you slam a finger down on the End Call button before Suna can get too far.

You and the younger Miya stare at each other for a moment, and then you very awkwardly roll the window up and pull the key from the ignition. When you join Osamu on the sidewalk, all he does is give you a deadpan look.

“The kitchen counter is actually insane-”

“Please don’t,” You laugh, pushing past him toward the shop.

“Don’t you know how unsanitary that is-”

“Samu!” You shake your head, heading back into your office with an exasperated smile. Your phone buzzes while you’re greeting Haru at the bar.

[8:55 AM]

Sunarin : i didn’t get to tell him about the ice cubes :((

You : youre a menace and you need to be gagged

Sunarin : is that a request :))

You : did you know that distance does not in fact make the heart grow fonder?

Sunarin : really? im feeling pretty fond rn

The day passes with a funny little tingling in your veins, one that makes you think of him often and puts a stupid smile on your face, subject to Osamu’s constant teasing. 

Suna texts you repeatedly throughout the day, and you’re reminded of the very first days of your friendship, when he would spam your phone with videos and memes and little else. Now, he sends you pictures of Tokyo – tourist spots and food and trinkets from the street stalls, attached to messages that make that excited tingle in your chest sing.

‘ Come back here with me.’

‘This place has spicy food the way you like it.’

‘This little old lady was making hair ties and stuff, so I got some.’

You scold him despite that wonderful little feeling, telling him he’s only going to fill his suitcase with things you don’t need. He ignores it, sending you more pictures of things he’s buying you. 

You call him when you’re leaving work, the cafe locked up and Osamu waving you off with a knowing grin while he turns in the direction of Yachi’s flower shop.

“ Great timing, ” Suna answers, surprising you. “ Green or blue ?”

“You did not just answer the phone while buying me something,” You say, exasperated.

“ You’re so right, babe. You do look better in green. ” He ignores you, and you hear him putting something back. 

“Suna!” 

“ Stop complaining, or this is gonna be a long week. ”

“You would never buy me these things if we were just friends.” You say it without thinking, too busy getting into his car and settling in. You realize belatedly that you’re the first to really say it, to say it properly and truly and privately, even though it had been obvious to both of you from the start.

That you and Suna are more now.

Your heart stutters briefly, and you wonder why that had been so easy to say. Wonder what he’s going to say in response.

“No, maybe not,” He says, distracted by the store clerk while he pays. “But we’re not just friends, are we?”

Your skin warms under the coo of his voice in your ear – under his mutual acknowledgement, just as easy. “No, I don’t suppose we are.”

“ I don’t suppose we are, either-Thanks- ” He shifts his phone, and you hear the jingle of a shop door. “So I get to do what I want now. ” 

“And what would that be, Rin?” You make your way home, his seat and mirrors and steering wheel all shifted in ways that’ll drive him crazy later. You smile at the thought of these minor, domestic traces of you, left all over his life. 

“ Guess you’ll just have to stick around and find out. ”

You bite your lip, your fingers tapping against the steering wheel while you wait at a red light. “Good thing I don’t plan to go anywhere.”

There’s quiet on the other end, and then- 

“ Good thing I planned on keeping you for a while.”

You drive in silence, your very soul aching to see him. After a few minutes, you make a quiet admission. “Gonna be a long week . ”

Suna breathes a soft laugh. “ I miss you, too. ” 

You pull into his apartment and sigh as you put the car in park. “Made it home.”

His voice is teasing. “ Whose home, baby? ” 

You warm, realizing what you’d said and deciding to simply stop talking. He clicks his teeth when you don’t respond, but he doesn’t push.

“ Whatcha gonna do now? ” 

You stare down at your lap, your ears burning. “Cook dinner. Eat on the couch. Go to bed early.”

“ Without me? ” 

You roll your eyes with a smile. “Goodbye, Rintarou.”

“ Send pictures! ”

You hang up, your heart still racing a little, even as you mumble to yourself. “Stupid man.”

You send him pictures anyway – your simple pasta dinner, the book you’re reading while you lounge on his couch. An overhead shot of you in his bed, showered and wrapped up in a bath robe and looking silly.

He sends back a voice note of him screaming incoherently about how pretty you are and then sends an overhead shot of himself in his hotel bed, equally showered and surrounded by no less than ten bags of gifts for you.

You scream incoherently, too, but into his pillow and without his knowledge.

You really, really like this stupid man of yours – more than you thought possible.

–

On Tuesday, you unexpectedly get a bit of good news.

The day starts as warmly as Monday had, with texts already pouring in before you even leave for work. Pictures of the convention venue, a massive room lined with artist booths and a stage in the back for the week of scheduled panels. An awkward selfie of Suna wearing his nametag, brightly colored and labeled ‘ Speaker ’ for everyone to see. Texts demanding to know your clothing sizes, with additional texts warning you against interrogating him for details.

By the time you walk into work, your mood is bright and sunny, and it only improves once you’re in the shop.

“Boss!” Haru’s eyes are bright when he calls for you, waving with both arms despite you being two feet away. Mayuri’s leaning against the bar, smiling fondly at Haru when he’s not looking, and Osamu’s watching from window into his kitchen. 

You stop in the doorway, sending Haru a confused grin. “Haru?”

“I got a job!” He bounces behind the bar, doing a little jig. 

You gasp, rushing to bar to join Mayuri. You know he’s been looking for full-time jobs with graduation so near, but you hadn’t been expecting one to come so soon. “What? Where? When?”

He giggles, and you wonder, not for the first time, how he’s only five years younger than you.

“Apparently, the Jackals need a social media manager.”

You stare, shocked, and drag your gaze over to Osamu. “The Jackals…. Since when do they-”

Osamu shakes his head. “What Haru means to say, is that he managed to convince Tsumu that they need one.”

You stare longer, remembering suddenly that Haru had applied to work with you three years ago not only because he was a broke college kid, but also because he’s a die-hard fan of the current MSBY lineup. He’s deceptively good at hiding it, but it seems the time for his cool exterior is gone.

“He-” You turn to Haru, watching the boy dance and turn and shake his butt in excitement. Mayuri just drops her head into her hand with a smile she’s clearly trying to hide.

You start to laugh, imagining just how easy it would have been for Haru to compliment-bomb Atsumu into agreeing to literally anything.

“Haru, I’m-” You burst into laughter, clutching your sides. “-so proud of you.”

“I start next week!” He yells at the ceiling. “Part-time and then full-time when I graduate!” 

You shake your head, secretly glad he’ll keep working with you until graduation. “We’ve gotta celebrate, Haru. This is great.”

The boy becomes shy now, his dance slowing as he turns to you with warm cheeks. “Oh, we don’t have to-”

“No-” You cut him off with a shake of your head, rounding the bar to deposit your bag. “I was drowning in work before you came in – you literally saved my life. We need to celebrate.” 

He flushes, scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the floor while you compliment him. “Thanks, Boss. That’s super nice of you.”

Mayuri teases quietly, pulling him out of his shell. “Don’t get all shy on us now. We need at least one extrovert in the shop, or the whole thing’ll go under.” 

Osamu cackles as he disappears into the kitchen, and you leave Mayuri with Haru and head to the back, laughing to yourself. You pull out your phone, smiling at the ten messages from Suna, all different items being sold at the convention.

[9:17 AM]

You : haru convinced tsumu that the jackals need a social media manager and now he has a job

Sunarin : thats

Sunarin : SO FUCKING FUNNY

Sunarin : im buying that man a drink

You : we’re gonna throw a party in the shop

Sunarin : good, i can be nosy and watch him and mayuri awkwardly flirt

You : right??? make a move, girl, we all know boys are dumb

Sunarin : excuse you?? i totally made the first move

You : when? when you were jerking off in college?

Sunarin : BRUTALLLLLL

You laugh loudly, the sound bouncing off the walls of your office, and put your phone down with a warm smile. But there’s a knock at your door, one that brings Osamu’s grey hair and a knowing gaze.

“What’s up?” You ask, smiling.

“I have something to propose which was not my idea but will give me answers to all of my questions.”

You narrow your eyes. “Okay?”

“Hitoka wants to go on a triple date.”

You stall, your face warming. Osamu starts to smile.

“So you are together.”

“What?” You laugh, your ears starting to ring now that the words have been said out loud in precisely that way. “We’re… Uh-”

He steps into your office, clearly excited as he sits across from you. “Yes or no?”

“I-” You scratch at your brow. “Yes? Maybe?”

“But it’s not just sex.”

“No…” You avoid his eyes. “It’s not just sex.”

“I don’t think it ever was,” He says, like he’s been waiting a long time to say it. “But you probably won’t agree with that.”

You say nothing, just remembering the way Suna had admitted that things were never as casual as he’d thought they were. That he’d never gotten over you, that he had tricked himself into thinking he was okay with a no-strings-attached arrangement with you. 

That from the very beginning, you’d always secretly felt that starting something with Suna Rintarou would never be nothing . 

Osamu watches you carefully when you don’t answer him. “Oh. It’s serious, then.”

You meet his eyes and look away, your heart starting to flutter and that nervous excitement making its daily appearance. 

“Yeah,” You say, unable to meet his gaze. “It’s serious.” 

He smiles slowly. “So… He would be okay with us setting up a date?”

You swallow, nodding and keeping your eyes away from that smug little grin.

“Yeah. He would be okay with it.” 

Osamu leaves you after that, and you open your texts, typing with fingers that tremble just slightly.

[9:30 AM]

You : samu asked to set up a triple date with tsumu/sakusa

Sunarin : NOT A T S U M U

Sunarin : god theyre so insufferable and gross

Sunarin : how will i ever finish my food

You : im sure youll manage

Sunarin : you hate me, i just know it

Sunarin : wait

Sunarin : did you already agree to it???

You blink, confused by his urgency. Were you not supposed to?

You : …. maybe?

Sunarin : bro

Sunarin : our first date is NOT going to be with miya atsumu in the room

Oh. You hadn’t realized that you and Suna have never been on a date.

You : oh

You : its nbd

Sunarin : it very much is NOT nbd

Sunarin : im taking you out

You : i dont need dinner and a movie rin

Sunarin : i didnt say anything ab dinner and a movie

Sunarin : thats not special at all

Sunarin : thats just a tuesday

You shake your head, trying not to let his words warm you to the point of distraction. You put the phone down and fight the pounding in your ears, the cold tingle in your fingers subsiding the longer you focus on work. 

You manage about two hours of it, your phone forgotten once your head’s in the right place.

Suna succeeds in ruining it in a matter of seconds.

[11:58 AM]

Sunarin : thoughts on getting each others initials tattooed for a first date?

You breathe out a shaky sigh, telling yourself he’s joking.

You : youre an idiot

Sunarin : yeah it’s a bit much

Sunarin : maybe for our ten yr anniversary

Sunarin : lets start smaller

You groan, dropping your head into your hands.

You : i think dinner and a movie is great

Sunarin : no no dont go back on me now babe

Sunarin : not when im so attached to the tattoo idea

You : i dont have tattoos

Sunarin : oh i know :)) i would have seen them by now :)) 

You : you continue to be an idiot

He ignores it, just sending back a photo. You stare down at it, your heart swelling in your chest when you see the cartoon art he’s scribbled haphazardly on a napkin, ink stains on his fingers and a ring of moisture still on the napkin from his drink.

It’s just a fox , you tell yourself. Just a small caricature of the Inarizaki fox, something you could easily get with all your friends.

But the fact that he’d chosen it now – now that things are not what they were at Inarizaki, now that things are more than they’ve ever been. It makes you question how you could possibly have gone this long without falling for him.

You swallow the feeling of permanence and give in to it, knowing there’s no way around it.

[12:02 PM]

You : i would allow you to draw that on my body for a first date

Sunarin : that was a love confession if ive ever seen one

Suna Rintarou is really starting to affect your productivity.

–

It’s on Wednesday night that things get serious. 

The jokes, the passing comments, the unspoken meanings – they all fall away, leaving only Suna’s quiet voice, laced with a hesitation that makes you nervous.

“ I’ve been telling people I have a girlfriend.” 

You forget how to breathe. 

You’d been lying in his bed listening to him tell you about his day, flirty comments shared between you. In the lull between topics, he’d admitted that. 

You sit there in silence, waiting for him to continue. When he doesn’t – the air conditioner in his hotel room loud between you – you clear your throat.

“That good of a deflection tactic, huh?”

Relief floods you when he laughs under his breath, but you still feel tense, unable to move from where you’re curled up under his blankets. They smell like him, and there’s a part of you that feels you can only handle this silence because of that comfort. 

“ A couple of younger girls came up to me at a booth and said they saw my work on Instagram, ” He starts. “ They asked if I had a girlfriend – I was expecting them to get upset when I said yes, but they just started squealing and asked to see a picture of you. Said we looked good together. ”

You breathe slow while your heart beats fast.

He says the rest to you in words that speak louder than he does. “ I liked hearing that. ” 

You swallow. “So, you kept saying it?”

“ ... Would you be upset if I did? ” 

You stare down at your hands, wondering if he’s saying what you think he is. Your voice cracks nervously when you respond. “ No … I don’t think I would.” 

When he breathes into the phone, it sounds like the first he’s taken in a while.

“ You can say it, too – if you want. ” 

Your fingers start to go numb, and your face starts to burn. “That I’m your girlfriend?”

“ Yeah – if you want to. ” 

“You’d be okay with me telling people that?”

“ Yes. A hundred percent. ”

You swallow, unable to process this conversation. There’s nowhere that your heart isn’t beating right now, and you wish so desperately that you could be with him right now. Just to see what he’s thinking, always written so clearly all over his face. 

“You’d be okay with me introducing you to people like that?”

“ Yes. Y/n, yes. ”

“You’re okay with that title? Suna Rintarou, Y/n’s boyfriend?” 

There’s silence on the other end, and then the cut of the dial tone. 

You blink, your heart pounding in your ears, and stare down at your phone.

He’d hung up.

Your phone buzzes just as you’re starting to spiral.

[7:22 PM]

Sunarin : fuck i panicked

Sunarin : you made me nervous

Sunarin : sorry

You start to smile against your will, your stomach filling with relief.

You : find a better coping mechanism

You : i hate that one

Sunarin : i want it

Sunarin : the title, i mean

Sunarin : i want it

Your heart starts to pound for him, just like it always does.

You : you want to be my boyfriend?

Sunarin : fuck 

Sunarin : yes 

Sunarin : fuck 

Sunarin : sorry, im still nervous

You : youre kind of a mess rin

Sunarin : i know

Sunarin : that was the first time i thought about saying those words

Sunarin : and it fucked me up

You stare down at your phone, watching him fall apart and wondering if this is really, truly happening.

He calls again.

You lift the phone to your ear wordlessly.

“ Hi. ”

You really like him.

“Hi.” 

“ I feel like a fucking teenager. ”

You swallow, laughing tightly. “Yeah. I don’t really know what to do. I feel like I just got hit by a truck-”

“ I really want to be your boyfriend. ” 

Your heart stops in your throat.

When you respond, it’s weak. “There goes the truck again.”

“ I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want this to be unclear anymore. ” He’s starting to ramble in your ear. “ I want to be your boyfriend. And I want to tell everyone you’re my girlfriend. ” 

You press a hand to your chest, leaning back against his pillows and squeezing your eyes shut while you try to breathe.

“ I want you in my apartment, Y/n. I want you in my bed and in my kitchen and on my couch and in my car. I want you everywhere.”

“ Rin ,” You choke, every cell in your body burning.

“Everything I look at reminds me of you. I want to buy you everything. I want to bring you everywhere.”

You think you might cry.

“ God, Y/n, I don’t know what you did to me, but I think I- ” He cuts short, breathing hard.

You stare at the ceiling, your heart stuttering painfully.

“You what?”

You hear when he swallows.

“ I want this. All of it. ” 

You have the distinct feeling that that’s not what he was going to say.

“ Do you… want to be my girlfriend? ” He laughs nervously. “ I guess I haven’t asked yet. ”

You close your eyes, head fuzzy. “I think you ruined me, Rin.”

When he laughs, low and warm in your ear, everything that’s not him falls away from you.

“ Weird way to tell me you love me. ” 

Delirium is the only way to explain why you smile and say-

“I want this, Rintarou. All of it.”

You’re not surprised when he hangs up on you again.

–

The first person you tell, unsurprisingly, is Atsumu.

On Thursday, after a series of morning texts from Suna that leave you blushing like a schoolgirl, you rush into his bathroom, washing up with icy water and trying to talk yourself into a sense of normalcy. And then, when it doesn’t work, you snatch your phone off the sink.

“ This better be good, ” Atsumu says when he answers. “ Because Omi-kun’s lookin’ real scrumptious this morning, and I ain’t above hangin’ up on you. ”

You stare at your reflection when you say the words to someone else for the first time. “Suna asked me to be his girlfriend last night.”

It’s Sakusa’s voice you hear first, muffled and distant.

“ What? When? How- ” There’s a scuffle on the other end, and then Sakusa’s in your ear. “ Say more, Y/n. I require more. ”

You laugh, hearing Atsumu’s complaints in the back, and then you tell them everything. Everything from staying at Suna’s place while he’s gone to finding out how he’d felt about you in the past. Everything from him treating you like more than just a situationship to you falling for him harder and harder with every second that passes. Everything from joking about your relationship to the very moment when it had stopped being a joke.

“ Oh, my- ” Atsumu had taken the phone back at some point. “ Y/n, he’s down so bad for you. I can’t believe ya didn’ realize- ”

“I never claimed to be smart!” You joke, sitting at the edge of the bed. “I was too busy being shocked he could ever be interested in me-”

“ I’ve been watchin’ him follow you around like a lost puppy for years – this ain’t surprising, darlin’.” 

Sakusa’s voice cuts through from beside him. “ It seems like he really didn’t want to ruin your relationship, especially if he lasted all throughout college without making a move-”

“Yeah, that part actually was unexpected, ” Atsumu agrees. “ I had a feelin’ that he was a little sweet on ya, but I thought he just had no idea how he felt, either.” There’s a moment of peace, but peace never lasts long around Miya Atsumu. “ Come to find out he was probably thinkin’ aboutcha in the shower every night- ” 

“Atsumu!” You protest. You hadn’t told them the more private details of Suna’s thoughts in college, only that he’d had some feelings he’d decided not to act on. The fact that you can very much confirm Atsumu’s speculation makes you flush in embarrassment. 

“I gotta go. I have work,” You say, suddenly missing Suna very much, lovesick and awful. Atsumu must hear it, because he just chuckles under his breath.

“ Oh, yeah, I’m sure. Tell ‘work’ we say hi .”

“Shut up, Tsumu.” 

“ Happy for ya!” He yells into the phone just as you’re cutting the call with a smile. 

You get ready for work while on the phone with Suna. His panel’s tomorrow afternoon, so he’d stayed in the hotel today to prepare some general answers and recharge socially. It only makes you fall more, the fact that this perfect man would consider you the exception to the limits of his introversion.

You run through potential questions with him on your drive to work, but you eventually have to cut it short because he won’t stop flirting with you.

“Alright, I think that’s enough of that,” You laugh, rolling your eyes when he asks if you ‘ have any tattoos you’re down to show him backstage ’.

“ Wait, don’t go, pretty audience girl! ” He protests. “ I’ve got so much I wanna show you! ”

“I’m at work!” You yell, pulling into the parking lot. 

“ Come find me after the panel, we can talk in my hotel room-”

You end the call with a bright smile, hating how easy it is for him to get to you. You shake your head, grinning to yourself as you walk into the shop.

The feeling drops when you see who’s sitting at one of the tables.

He looks up from his phone, empty coffee cup in front of him. He’d been here a while, then.

The guy from the party – the one who you hadn’t realized had resembled Suna when you’d tried hitting on him.

“Oh, hey,” He says, laying his phone on the table. He smiles, something smooth and easy and so Suna-like that you actually take a step back.

It doesn’t look right on someone who’s not Rintarou.

“Uh, hi,” You say awkwardly, moving to round the bar. Haru gives you a confused look, and you can see Osamu lingering on his side of the shop, Mayuri shooting him equally strange looks while he wipes an already clean counter down. Osamu just meets your eyes over her head, scrubbing the clean counter like it’s filthy.

The guy stands from the table, sliding his cup across the counter to Haru, who has to fumble to make sure it doesn’t crash to the floor. Haru’s embarrassed flush makes you irrationally angry.

“Can I help you?” You ask, the edge in your voice cold.

He leans on the bar in something that seems effortless and cool, but you already know that’s not how Suna would have done it, so you hate it by default. 

He sticks a hand out in your direction. “I never got your name at the party, so I had to track Bokuto down and get him to focus long enough to tell me where you worked.”

You raise a brow and stare down at the hand, unimpressed. Later, you’ll realize that you’ve adopted some of Suna’s mannerisms in the last few weeks, but right now, you just want this man out of your shop.

“Well, Bokuto’s a busy man. I’m sure he had more important things to focus on.”

He drops his hand easily, but you see the tinge of annoyance in his eyes when he does. “I’m Ren.” He waits while you stare blankly up at him, and then he lifts a brow, smiling teasingly. “And you are…”

“Working,” You say blankly. “Are you here to order something?”

He glances around, taking in Haru beside you. The boy’s pouring espresso shots into a cup, but they’re not for any customer in particular, and there’s starting to be a concerning number of them in that cup. You almost smile at his auto-pilot functioning, because he’s clearly distracted with listening while trying to look like he’s not.

Ren glances to the right, and you follow it. Mayuri’s alone at the counter serving cake to a little boy, and you realize Osamu’s moved only when he literally materializes behind you at the door to the storage room.

Ren meets his eyes over your head, and you look back, finding your friend leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. He doesn’t look to you, keeping his eyes firmly on the man across the counter.

“I just came to ask for your number,” Ren says, and you turn slowly back to him with raised eyebrows. He smiles, and you get the feeling that that smile works on girls more often than not. “I didn’t exactly get the chance that night.”

“Lucky me,” You say. “Unfortunately for you, the trip here was pointless, because you will, once again, be leaving without my number.”

“Aw, don’t be like that.” He pretends to frown, clearly thinking you’re playing hard to get. “I came all this way.”

“I hope you enjoyed the coffee, then,” You continue to push. “Since that’s all you’re getting.”

You start to turn away and catch out of the corner of your eye that he’s decided to reach across the counter for your arm. His fingers only brush on your elbow, however, before he’s pulling back – Osamu had stepped toward you, suddenly the tallest man you’ve ever seen in your life.

“I wouldn’t,” The twin says simply, glancing down at the hand lingering offensively near you, arms still crossed over his chest and eyes devoid of emotion. He seems to tower over Ren, despite their similar heights. “I really wouldn’t.”

Ren steps back, shoving his hands in his pockets with a hard swallow. He meets your eyes. “Come on, doll, we could have so much fun together.”

You face him fully, his lack of boundaries near-insulting. In your periphery, you sense Haru standing tall – inhumanly tall like Osamu and clearly unhappy with the turn this conversation is taking. You’re warmed by him, by the safety they both grant you. So you make sure to be very clear when you look Ren in his eye and say-

“I think my boyfriend would disagree.”

Osamu shifts behind you, perhaps trying to gauge how much of this is the truth, but you keep your eyes on the man before you. The one who looks so much like Rintarou, yet so, so unlike him all the same.

When he lifts a brow and smiles like he doesn’t believe you, you wonder if punching a customer would be bad for your shop reputation.

“Your boyfriend,” He says, humor in his voice.

“My boyfriend,” You repeat. “You might remember him from the party.”

A look of recognition passes over him. “ That guy?”

“The very same.”

“Right,” He says, nodding very seriously while a smile pulls at his lips. “ That’s your boyfriend.”

You feel your eye twitch involuntarily. You’re painfully glad for the courage that rises when your friends shift in shared annoyance. Slipping your phone from your pocket, you pull up your photos quickly, finding one in particular and holding it out for him to see.

It’s one of you in Suna’s bed, wrapped up in his arms while he naps against you. His face is pressed into the crook of your neck, hair fanning out all over your neck and face. He has an arm curled around you, and it’s clear even from the selfie that he’s holding you tight and pulling a warm smile out of you.

Ren’s eyes drag over it while you stare emptily at him. 

“Would you like me to call him? I’m sure he’d love to chat.”

He meets your eyes and then straightens, brows furrowed. “Whatever. Don’t hit me up when he dumps your ass.”

You call out mockingly while he exits the shop. “Thanks for coming!”

As soon as the door jingles, you sigh under your breath. “What a piece of work.”

“I’m starting to think you don’t even need us anymore,” Osamu says, and you see he’s smiling when you turn to him. “A lot’s changed since high school.” 

You step forward, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him tight. You’re shaking just slightly from the confrontation – the confidence needed to stand tall during that entire ordeal had drained you. Osamu’s familiarity recharges you in the way only an old friend can.

“I’ll always need you.” When he squeezes you affectionately, you admit what he’s dying to know. “Did I mention that I have a boyfriend now?”

He smiles against the crown of your head, mumbling, “ Fucking finally. ” He snatches your phone from you and peers down at the photo of you and Suna. “This is terrible and gross. I love it.”

You both laugh, interrupted when Haru slumps in exhaustion in the corner and holds out a cup full to the top with espresso shots. “Can I assume this is coming out of my next check?”

You pluck it from him, shaking your head as you separate it across three more cups to make everyone a free drink. “This is a heart attack waiting to happen. Mayuri, come yell at him, please.”

The girl appears in an instant, grinning wide. “My favorite pastime!”

Osamu disappears to the back, mumbling ‘ Terrible and gross ’ to himself as he goes.

Later, when you call Suna on your way home, he answers with exasperation.

“I swear to God, woman. ” 

You laugh, surprised. “Hello to you, too.”

“ Did the universe send out some global signal that you’re taken now? It’s been less than 24 hours. ” 

“Oh, I see. You’ve been speaking to Miya Osamu.”

“ You should have taken that guy’s number so I could track him down .”

“I think he got the message, Rin.”

“ And his name was Ren ? What kind of tacky, off-brand version of me- ”

You laugh, accepting now that you’re in a constant state of needing him. “When’s your flight back?”

There’s silence, and then a response so clearly said through a smile. “ I miss you, too. ” 

“Shut up. Answer me.”

“ Monday, baby girl. ”

You warm, pulling into the parking lot with pursed lips. “That’s too far away.”

“ I agree. Want me to come back early? ”

You desperately want to say yes. “No, you shouldn’t. You need to stay and network – this is great exposure for your shop.”

“ You’re annoyingly reasonable. ”

“One of us has to be.”

You talk to him for the rest of the night, pushing down this terrible yearning that you feel. It’s best for him to stay, to speak to people and promote his work. But you can’t help that his bed feels horribly empty tonight, so you ask in a quiet voice at the end of the night if he wouldn’t mind falling asleep on the phone with you.

When he whispers ‘ Anything for you ’ while you’re curling up under his blanket, you think that what you feel for Suna Rintarou might be more than just more , and that it probably has been for quite some time.

–

On Friday, you wake to the sound of Suna groaning sleepily beside your head. You shift, lifting your head to glance at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It’s only 7.

You groan back at him. “Why the hell are you awake?”

“ I set my alarm super early just to be sure I wouldn’t oversleep.” His voice is groggy and low – it spreads warmth all over your skin and draws a heat from your navel that you really don’t need this morning. You’d managed to keep it down all week. “ I really regret that now .”

“Your panel’s not even until 11,” You whine, rolling over with every intent to go back to sleep.

“ Great. Now I’m thinking about it. Guess I’m up for the day. ” 

You laugh into his pillow, almost missing when he mumbles the word ‘ cute ’ under his breath. 

“You’re really that nervous?”

“ Terrified. I hate people, and I hate talking. ”

“Oh, man – Can’t imagine talking in front of peopl e, then.”

“ You’re a smart-ass, you know that? ” 

You pull the phone to your ear with a pleased sigh. “It’s gonna be fine, baby. You’re gonna be great, and all of your socials are going to experience viral internet success.”

There’s silence on the other end, long enough to make you wonder if he’d hung up.

“Rin?”

“ Sorry. You made me nervous. ”

“How?” You laugh. “The prospect of your viral internet success?”

“ No. You called me ‘baby’. ” 

Your ears burn, and your stomach flips in that lovely excited tingle. “Well, get used to it. I plan on saying it for a long, long time.”

More silence – and then a soft ‘ Fuck ’ whispered through the staticky connection. 

“ I’m gonna be in big trouble for a long, long time, then. ”

You beam, clutching the blanket to your chest. “Go get ready for your panel, Rin.”

“ Okay, ” He says in a daze. “ Sounds good .” Silence, and then. “ Yeah, yes- I should go. Yeah. ” 

You snicker into the phone, overcome with the urge to scream your adoration for him. “You’re gonna do so great, baby. And then you can come home, and we can celebrate.”

“... Fuck. ”

“ Go, Rin-” You throw your head back and laugh loudly, hearing as it echoes off the walls. “Go. Eat breakfast and get there early and network your ass off.”

“ Yes, okay – yeah. ”

“ Goodbye , Rintarou.” 

“ Okay. Bye – love you .”

He hangs up.

You stare down at nothing, the dial tone ringing in your ear.

Oh.

Oh.

Suna Rintarou just told you he-

Oh.

Your phone buzzes against your ear with an incoming text.

[7:06 AM]

Sunarin : fuck

Sunarin : y/n im

Sunarin : fuck

You swallow, feeling the layer of panic smothering his texts. Your own heart pounds in your ears – that pounding of more, ever-present and painfully clear now. 

You can’t imagine the horror he’s sitting in, not knowing what to do or how you’re taking it – not knowing just how much he doesn’t need to worry about this.

With shaking hands, you call him back. When he picks up, he’s in a mental spiral.

“ Y/n, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking, and I- ”

“I love you, too.”

And then you hang up.

It takes a full minute for him to text you.

[7:08 AM]

Sunarin : you fucking

Sunarin : menace

Sunarin : youre so fucking done for when i get home

Friday passes so irritatingly slowly without him, but that little mumbled ‘ love you ’ ringing in your ear is all you remember.

–

“So?” You ask, throwing your keys in the bowl at the door, a wide smile spread across your face. “Tell me everything!”

“ Holy shit, Y/n, it was- ” Suna laughs, and you hear him kicking his shoes off at the hotel door, too. “ I can’t even remember all the people I met – so many names. ” 

“Wait, start at the beginning!” You whine, undressing as you make your way to his shower. “Start over, from the top.”

“Okay, okay.” The shower turns on on his end, too, and you feel your heart swell at your paralleled routines. “So I get there at 9-ish, and people are already coming up to me. I didn’t realize this, but I guess once it was announced that I was on the roster, people who like my work started talking about it all over Twitter, and it kind of blew up-” 

“What?!” You step into the shower, keeping your phone on the sink so you can hear him. “You went viral before the day even started!”

“ I guess?! ” His voice is muffled, and you laugh at the mental image of him screaming over the running water. “ I was bombed with people coming up to me for two hours, and then there was a huge crowd at the panel! There were so many questions! ” 

“Say more, damn it!” You joke, needing every ounce of detail.

You shower and eat dinner while listening to him recount the entire panel – that there were three other artists with him, all in different specialties, and that he’d gotten along well with them. That he’d joked about his social introversion once he’d started getting a long stream of questions, that the entire audience had found that funny and wanted even more interaction with him after that. That people had asked about his background and college experience and future plans for the shop and everything in between.

“ Oh, those girls were there – from the other day, ” He says, both of you in bed now. “ One of them got up and asked if my girlfriend and I had any matching tattoos. I told her ‘Not yet, but we’ve got a tattoo date planned for when I get home’.”

You laugh, chest warm with affection. “I bet everyone loved that. That’s charming and smooth.”

“ No kidding, ” He agrees. “ She has no clue what she started – I had people coming up to me afterward asking about you. ”

“Yeah?” You ask with interest.

“ Asking what you do, what you think of me and my work, how you’ve supported me while I was starting my own business – all of it. ” 

“I like that you got asked about me…” You admit, picking at a loose string on the blanket.

“ I liked talking about you. I think everyone could tell that was my favorite part. ”

“God,” You laugh. “You’re like those celebrities that always talk about their wives in interviews. Everyone loves a guy like that.”

“ You tryna tell me somethin’? ”

“Huh?” You blink, thinking. 

“ I can take a hint, babe .” He jokes. “ We can skip the dating phase if you want .”

You laugh loudly, surprised. “Don’t even think about it, Rintarou. We said ‘ I love you ’ within 48 hours of dating – let’s take one thing slow, please.”

He sighs dramatically on the other end, but you can hear how pleased he is.

“ Fine, fine. Whatcha gonna do for the rest of the night? ”

“Probably just read something. Maybe watch a show.”

“ You’re in bed? ”

“Of course.”

“ Show me. I miss you. ”

You roll your eyes but pull your phone away, snapping a quick overhead picture and sending it to him. You listen to the shuffle of him checking his messages, and then there’s quiet on his end. You wait, a brow lifted. 

“Rin?”

“ Shit. ” 

“...What?” You’d heard the shift in his voice, deeper and heavier than it’d been just a moment ago. You recognize it, and that warmth from the morning – the one pulled from your navel, molten and dangerous – returns.

“ Is that what you’ve been wearing to bed all week ?” 

You look down at yourself. You’re wearing one of his t-shirts and a pair of panties, frumpy and simple.

“Yes…?”

He breathes a heated sigh. “ That’s fucking unfortunate. ” 

Your nerve endings start to tingle, a suspiciously familiar electric crackling in the pit of your stomach. “Why’s that?” You ask weakly.

He doesn’t respond, but your phone buzzes with a message.

Your breath catches when you look.

It’s an overhead of him, too – shirtless and sporting a pair of grey sweats, he’s got one hand on the band of his pants, his silver bracelet glinting in the light. His inked skin looks warm, a slight sheen from his shower still lingering in a way that makes your mouth water. But it’s just below the waist that your eyes are trained.

Because Suna Rintarou’s just sent you a rather compromising picture of himself, one capturing the heat in his eyes and the rather noticeable tent in his sweats.

You swallow hard. “Seems like something needs your attention, Rin.” 

“ That’s too bad. My attention’s elsewhere. ” 

You shift, the needy feeling setting in. “Rin…”

Your phone starts to beep in your ear. You lift it, seeing the incoming notification.

Your face burns when you accept the FaceTime request.

He looks the way he had in the photo – eyes hooded and glazed slightly, distracted. He meets your gaze, a smile pulling at his lips.

“ Hi, pretty girl. ” 

Your eyelids flutter, and your thighs press together involuntarily. “Hi, baby.”

He inhales sharply at the name, tugging the lip ring between his teeth. His eyes drop to the t-shirt you’re wearing. “ Still got that on? ”

You shrink under his gaze. “‘s yours. Wanna keep it on.”

His eyes are sharp when they find yours, and his gaze burns through you. “ Well, when you word it like that… ”

You laugh nervously, seeing in the camera how red your face is. “Still got those sweats on?”

You’re granted the satisfaction of watching his cheeks color at your question, eyes looking away from you shyly.

“ Want me to take ‘em off? ”

“ Yes ,” You breathe, hooking your thumb into your own underwear. “Please.”

Suna throws his phone on the bed, and you hear the shuffle of him removing his pants. You join him, sliding out of your panties and shivering when the cold air hits your heated core. 

His voice wavers when he’s back in the frame. “ Show me? ” 

Your stomach swarms with nerves, but you flip the camera around anyway. You watch in real time how his eyes widen, flicking around the scene of your legs spread open on his sheets.

“ Fuck, ” He groans, training his gaze on the spot that makes you most nervous. “ You look so good in my bed, Y/n. ” 

The only thing that keeps you from turning the camera off in your embarrassment is the way his eyes have changed. His gaze has taken on a slightly unhinged edge, razor sharp and unmoving from that heated spot between your thighs. And when he swallows hard and breathes out an uneven sigh, you remember that this is the only person in the whole world you don’t ever have to be afraid of.

With shaking fingers, you put your hand on your knee and slide it slowly down your thigh. Suna tracks it, eyes widening when you get close to your core. When your middle and ring fingers push down against your clit, circling slowly, his jaw goes slack and his eyelids flutter. 

“ Shit, ” He breathes, and you watch that lip ring disappear between his teeth again. “ I’ve never watched you touch yourself before. ”

The realization of that fact makes you more nervous, but the way he’d said it – desperate, eager – makes you whimper, and you swipe your fingers over your clit again. When you drop them to your folds, sliding through once and then again, Suna groans quietly.

“ You look so fucking good, Y/n.”

The camera shakes with movement, and you realize he’s starting to touch himself.

“No fair,” You whine softly. 

He swallows, blushing, and turns his camera around, too. The sight of his hand wrapped around his cock, stroking slowly, has you moaning his name and swiping your fingers hard against your clit.

The strain of his voice affects you more now that you can’t see his face – it sounds more desperate, more needy.

“ Shit. I was doing so well before this. ”

Your stomach flips nervously. “Me, too. I swear I’ve been good all week.”

He laughs low, but you hear when it cuts into a moan as he thumbs at the head of his cock. “ I believe you, baby. You’re always good for me. ”

You shiver, pushing the tip of your middle finger against your entrance while you breathe his words back to him distractedly. “ So good for you. Promise. ” 

He sighs shakily, groaning your name when your finger disappears past your entrance. “ Go ahead, baby girl. The other one, too. ”

You slip your ring finger in beside your middle, sliding both in as far as you can. He moans at the sight, and you echo it back when he finds a pace to stroke himself, flicking his wrist.

“You look so pretty, Rin.”

He groans through pursed lips, laughing roughly as he squeezes tight around the base of his cock. “ You can’t say things like that, Y/n. I’m actually trying to last longer than thirty seconds.”

You giggle, sliding your fingers out slowly and thrusting back in, sharper than before. “Not my fault – you made me needy.”

“ Yeah, well, you’re gonna make me embarrass myself if you don’t cut it out. ”

“I’d love to make you embarrass yourself. You’re real pretty when you blush.”

“ Y/n- ” He complains through annoyed laughter. “ I will start begging. ”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” You smile. “The last time you begged for something, I had an earth-shattering orgasm, so…”

When he laughs this time, it’s heavier and full of desire. “ Keep going, then – maybe I can help you get there again this time. ”

You whine, curling your fingers once before pulling them out. You repeat the motion, feeling the coil start to form in your navel. You keep that pace, fingering yourself slowly while you remain entirely distracted by how Suna’s hand looks around his cock. 

He notices that you’re not focusing after a moment, his voice low when he speaks to you.

“You can do better than that, can’t you?” You groan, arousal flaring in the pit of your stomach. “Not my fault I’m so distracted.”

“ Gotta be stronger than that, baby. I’m really in the mood to watch you fuck yourself.”

Your breath leaves you instantly, and your hand jerks, your fingers harsh when you thrust into yourself. It makes you jolt, and you moan his name involuntarily. 

He sighs, strained, and whispers ‘ that’s it, love ’ when you find a faster pace, one that arises entirely out of you forgetting to keep control. Your eyes roll back, and you whisper his name again and again, on each slam of your palm against your clit. 

He groans low, his own hand matching your pace and sliding against his cock. He’s rough, the same way you are with yourself. 

“ God, you look so good like this. ” His voice shakes, and he groans your name again quietly. “ Show me again when I get home? ”

“ Rin, ” You whine. Your brain is hot with static, your fingers not nearly close enough to how he feels. “Yes. Anything. Yes.” You watch his hand move, the coil burning when you think of how much better this would feel with him here. “ Not the same without you, ” You mumble.

He laughs. “ Miss my fingers, love? ” 

“ Miss your everything. ” 

“ Y/n, ” He breathes, and you watch his pace become a bit uneven. “Miss you. So much. ”

You shiver, the static spreading down your neck and shoulders as you come close to the edge. “ Love you, Rin- ” 

His breath cuts sharply, and yours follows when you realize how that had affected him.

“ Fucking shit, Y/n- ” He says it on a harsh exhale, his cock twitching hard in his grip. “ You gotta warn me- ”

“I love you, Rintarou,” You repeat, stronger this time. He groans loudly, and you hear the sheets shift when he throws his head back against the pillow.

“ Y/n- ” His breath stutters, and he stops moving, his hand shaking. “ I love you- ”

The coil in your navel twists so hard that you gasp as you watch him fall over the edge. 

“ I love you, Y/n, I- ” He moans your name, voice cracking, and his muscles contract as he spills onto his skin.

Your back bows off the mattress when the coil snaps, and you’re following his lead, his name a mantra on your lips when your vision goes white. Everything else falls away, and all you hear is his voice, telling you he loves you.

You come back to yourself some time after he does, your body slumped with exhaustion and your heart pounding hard in your ears. 

“ Y/n- ” He says, panting. “ You okay, baby? ”

You hum sleepily, shivering as you draw your fingers away from yourself. You flip the camera around with half-closed eyes. He’s doing the same, and you find yourself laughing quietly when you see how flushed his face is.

“Hi, pretty boy.”

He rolls his eyes. “ Feel okay? ”

“Mhm,” You nod. “Would have been better with you here.”

“ Why? ‘Cause I’ve got longer fingers than you? ”

You flush hard. “I was trying to be wholesome.”

“ I need at least another minute before I can be wholesome. I have cum all over my skin. ” 

A giddy laugh bubbles out of you. “God, I love you. You’re so dumb.”

Suna’s face burns, and a shy smile tugs at his lips. “ Yeah, whatever. I love you, too. ”

–

On Saturday afternoon, you drive over to your apartment, windows rolled down and music blasting. Summer’s officially made its debut, and your boyfriend is less than 48 hours from coming home – you feel pretty damn good, and you want to do something to welcome Suna home on Monday.

When you walk into your place, though, the first thing you notice is the thick layer of dust on all the surfaces. How long has it been since you’ve properly been here – eaten here, slept here, worked here in your home office?

You can’t remember. You know that Suna would have been here with you – before his trip, you hadn’t slept alone in a bed in weeks, let alone your own bed. 

With a hum, you start to pick up around the house, wondering if you should start looking to downsize. If you’re going to be spending all your time with Suna, there’s no reason to pay such high rent on a 2-bedroom apartment. Maybe you can find a 1-bedroom, or even a studio. Something cheaper, something that wouldn’t feel like such a waste to pay for if you’re only in it once or twice a week.

When you finish cleaning, you start digging through your closet for what you’d come here for. You remember purchasing a few select pieces that you never ended up wearing – a set of lingerie you’d intended for some one-night-stands, months and months ago. Back when you were more confident that you could go out and find a guy on your own – back before you could ever conceive the idea that your best friend might become anything more than that.

Now, as you pull the lacy black set out of your drawers, you’re infinitely glad that the first man to ever lay eyes on it will be Suna Rintarou.

You drive next to the shopping center, quickly slipping into a lingerie shop and buying a few more sets. The one you already have is nice, but you hadn’t bought it with Suna in mind. Now, knowing him – being able to imagine his reaction to every set that you consider – you’re certain about the riskier pieces that you never would have looked at before.

The girl who rings you up looks surprised at what you’ve chosen, and you catch when she scans your body judgmentally. But you just smile back at her, finding that you couldn’t care less what she thinks. And when the girl working next to her sees the sets and just shoots you a knowing wink, you feel confident in your body for the first time in a long while.

Back at Suna’s apartment, you tidy up, cleaning his place until it sparkles and smells like summer. You set the lingerie on the floor by his closet, deciding that you’ll wear a set to bed on Sunday night so that he’s surprised on Monday morning.

And then, after making dinner, you settle into his couch and turn Netflix on, choosing a random movie for the night. You’re swaddled up in a fuzzy bathrobe, donning equally stupid, fuzzy socks, your hair up in a mess. But you feel comfortable in it, warm and comfortable and excited for the morning of Suna’s return while you watch your silly rom-com.

It’s only when you hear a key in the lock of the front door that you think maybe you should have prepared for this – now painfully obvious, given his tendency for terrible decisions – turn of events.

Suna Rintarou steps through the door, fresh off a plane and two days early, and all you can do – in your stupid outfit with your stupid hair – is stare.

He stares back, eyes scanning you as he tries not to smile.

When he finally opens his mouth, what comes out is something that he’s only said once before -- at the dining table in your parents’ house, on a morning full of rain and exasperation toward a strange boy who’d seemed content with walking you to school in silence every day.

“I like your pajamas.”

You can’t help it. 

You run.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for ghosting 2 of my closet friends?

TL;DR: 2 of my closest/longest friendships ive had were ended by me stopping any and all communication, either unprompted or prompted. i dont feel any urge to talk with these people again, and i do not want to rekindle these friendships.

i (19ftm) have had only 2 friendships were i would consider the other person a "best friend". the first one was when i was in middle school (12-13). this other person, we'll call K(at the time 13F). now back in middle school i was what would be considered as the cool kids say: Cringe. super obsessed with undertale AND homestuck, a big 1-2 punch.

i met K through our homeroom class, and we really hit it off well. she was funny, great at art, and also loved undertale (she was the one who actually got me into homestuck, but thats besides the point). we hung out constantly, always chatting and swapping art tips, that sorta thing.

when i moved schools in 7th grade we became distance friends. not long distance bc we lived 30 min. away from each other, but we didn't get to see each other everyday anymore. eventually we started dating, but i didnt really feel content w the relationship at the time (i didnt know i was trans/gay yet lol).

one day i told her i was taking a break from social media/discord for a while until i sorted myself out, and then i would be back. i never spoke with her again after that and i felt like shit for years for ghosting my at the time girlfriend. i didnt take the break with the intention of ghosting K, it just kinda happened. she deleted her discord and i don't remember her tumblr so i have no way of communicating w her anymore. we knew each other for about 3-4 years, and dated for about half of that.

my other friend we'll call T(ftm). I met T my freshman year, when i was 14. T is 2 years older than me, so he was 16 at the time, a sophomore. T and i really hit it off well, and we hung out all the time after school, and talked over discord daily. he did a lot for me ill be honest, and helped me through an identity crisis when i realized i was trans and also gay.

however, when T graduated he started to drift away. i was still a junior at the time but we stayed in contact the best we could. i started driving so i would visit him in his apartment on weekends. however things really nose dived my senior year. i was 17-18 and all my friends had graduated, so i was already feeling pretty alone.

i kept trying to find comfort in T but he just kinda faded away. he found a new friend group of ppl closer to his age and they started hanging out more. i knew some of these people from our school, and was even friends w one of them, but for some reason he insisted on keeping me separate from them.

things boiled over when our mutual friend from this new friend group decided to throw a halloween party, but had to cancel last minute. time skip to november 1st and im picking up T to go rollerskating, and to my surprise he hops in my car out of breath and says "sorry it took so long, i was cleaning up after a halloween party!" and went on about this party he threw the night before with all his friends from the other group. T explained to me that he didn't invite me bc "i wouldn't know any of them".

i was pissed. really pissed. i stopped making plans to hang out with him, but to my surprise so did he. we stopped chatting daily, and the last time we spoke was april of last year. i sent him a final message in may trying to spark another conversation but he never replied. so i gave up. i stopped talking to him.

then i realized the pattern of me growing extremely close with someone only to ghost them. i know T basically ghosted me but i also stopped putting in the effort so i feel i still hold some of the blame. even when i last saw T in person i avoided him like the plague, and i just pray that if we do see each other again he does NOT recognize me.

What are these acronyms?

[armoricaroyalty]

She gave him her number, and he put her in his phone as ‘lawyer girl,’ which made her laugh. He worked most nights, so they changed ‘drinks’ to ‘brunch,’ and he dragged her ass halfway across the city to a hole-in-the-wall place where she ordered the best Bloody Mary she’d ever had in her life. Over eggs benedict and home fries, he told her that he wasn’t looking for anything serious. "That's fine," she said, "my aunt'd kill me if I brought home a line cook, anyway." That made him wheeze-laugh, and Theo decided that she'd keep him around for a while.

Previous | Chapter Start | From the Beginning | Next

Transcript under the cut.

12:38 PM | April 7th, 2016

WENDY | Have you given any thought as to your future at the firm? THEO | Uh... WENDY | You can be honest with me, Theodosia. THEO | [sighs] Not really...I’ve been working so many hours, I haven’t been able to set any professional goals. I’m just treading water. WENDY | You’re currently partner track. Is that what you want? THEO | ... WENDY | [offscreen] I’ve told you before: law is not a profession for dilettantes. If you don’t want to make partner, why are you working 70 hour weeks? THEO | Have I given you any reason to doubt my commitment? WENDY | Not exactly, but... THEO | But what? I bill as many hours as the rest of the second-year associates. WENDY | You’re not hungry. THEO | [offscreen] What? WENDY | Forgive me for saying so, but...it’s obvious your heart’s not in it. THEO | Are you saying I don’t have what it takes? WENDY | I’m saying you might be happier practicing in another field. Big law isn’t for everyone and there’s no shame in that. THEO | Okay, first of all — SERVER | How are you finding everything today, ladies? THEO | Just fine, thank you. WENDY | Actually... [chopping] ROB | What? SERVER | Table 12 says her lobster was cold in the middle. ROB | Table 12? [snorts] No shit, it went out 30 minutes ago. Food gets cold. SERVER | She wants to speak with you. ROB | What? SERVER | She told me to, and I quote, “go get the incompetent on the line” so she could “register her complaints directly.” ROB | Ha. You’re fucking kidding, right? SERVER | Nope. ROB | We’re in the middle of service. SERVER | Yup! She insists. WENDY | What’s your name, young man? ROB | Uh. Rob, ma’am. WENDY | Now Rob...How long have you been working at L’ostrica? ROB | Fourteen months. WENDY | In that time, has it ever been acceptable to send food out cold? ROB | Uh....no? WENDY | So you and I agree that cold food is unacceptable? ROB | I’m very sorry ma’am, I can take that away — WENDY | Excuse me, I’m not finished speaking! THEO | [mouthing] Sorry. ROB | [stifling laughter] WENDY | Is something funny? ROB | No ma’am. WENDY | I have to say, I am not impressed by the service today. [door slams] ROB | Fuck off, I’m taking my five. THEO | [offscreen] Y’know, Wendy might’ve been right about the service... ROB | Oh. You’re the psycho lobster woman’s...assistant? Daughter? THEO | Her mentee, actually. THEO | I’m a second-year associate at Maguire, Maguire, & Rudolph. Wendy’s my boss, but she also gives me career advice and stuff. THEO | Theo. ROB | Uh, Rob. THEO | I wanted to apologize for earlier. Wendy can be...kind of a bitch, honestly. ROB | Ha. She’s not the worst customer I’ve ever had. THEO | I believe it. My aunt owns a restaurant in the North End, and — ROB | In the North End? What’s it called? THEO | Gloria’s. It’s on Armory Street, near the — ROB | The statue of the dancer? THEO | Yes! You know it? ROB | Yeah, I grew up near there. My parents are enrolled at St. Cezara’s. THEO | Holy shit, small world. That’s like, two blocks from my dad’s. ROB | Small world...hey, what’s your number? Wanna grab a drink sometime? THEO | My schedule’s kind of crazy right now, but....I’d like that.

[givepie]

Some of my Unpopular Opinions about theme parks [that I will stand by and have in some cases]

1. Alton Towers is better than Thorpe, in my experience. I went Alton Towers and Thrope Park back to back last year, spending 2 nights and 2 days at Thorpe while visiting Towers with a school trip. The operations at Towers were better, and I am not kidding. When I went Thorpe i went on 2 rides [Swarm and Zodiac] where me and my mum watched and listened to the operators just stood around gossiping about other employees while the rides stood at hour+ queues. And then we tried to do ghost train [got there 30 minutes before it was due to open at 12 cause everything was 90+ mins.] And we waited an hour for that cause the ride broke down and they didn't tell anyone. The reason we could tell was because the line DID NOT MOVE for around 40 minutes and they turned people away from the fasttrack queue. For such a subpar experience me and mum were not bloody happy. Oh also Stealth was closed most of the time and it was in the middle of a 3 week long downtime for Inferno so we had Swarm, TWD, Colossus or Saw to go on. Compared to the day after where all of the rides were pretty consistent at Towers and I managed 3 large-queuetime rides such as Galair, Smiler, and Wickerman. Keeping in mind I missed ropedrop and left an hour earlier. Also all the rides were comfortable unlike 2/3 rides I went on in Thorpe.

Of course I enjoyed Thorpe and can't wait until I'm at uni so I can get a hotel room and do Thorpe + Chessington off-peak. Hyperia looks better than any coaster at Towers, but whoever says Thorpe has the better operations, environment, or lineup is incredibly biased.

2. A phalanx retheme for Galactica would ruin the Entire Fucking Point and would make the ride worse. This comes from the infuriating pov that thrilling = good and not thrilling = bad. In archival photos of the construction of air you can see the ride EXPERIENCE. THE LAYOUT. is based on a sense of victory and being the antithesis to Nemesis. Not the enemy, the FOIL. Air - and therefore Galactica - was created to be a sense of tranquility, removed from conflict. You are literally proposing a change to the ride that would be directly misconstruing the gentle nature of the ride. Isn't 13 hated for literally this exact reason. Like come on now.

3. Bigger=! Better. I was sceptical of Hyperia at first cause the title of "tallest in ___" is usually taken by a rather unimaginative ride with a lack of theming (or themed around cars.) which was created JUST to snag that title. This links in with my idea that Thrill=!good. Most b&m hypers (to my knowledge) are intimidators but not particularly thrilling. And yet, I have not met anyone who calls it a bad ride. Odd, that. Turns out, Hyperia isn't just a title snag and actually brings something new and creative to the table. On the other hand, I dislike rides like Stealth, Red Force, TTD, KingdaKa and anything else from that model on principle. I prefer coasters where the creators clearly had some fun. Where they actually thought about what they were doing.

4. I dont like Oblivion. I have never liked Oblivion. Lore wise? It's quite cool. But it is by far the most overhyped ride. Its a one-trick-pony. "but it does the trick really well!", so does Galactica! 13! Wickerman! But yall don't want to hear about that, you want rides where you can simplify it to something that seems quantifiable. In reality "It has a good drop!" is just as obscene as "It is a decently intense coaster that is not particularly intimidating so its a really good step-up". Or, "it really replicated the feeling of flying and freedom" or "a gentle ride with one relatively shocking element to help younger kids see that the sensations aren't that bad.". When it comes to ranking by my own criteria (taking out my own ride experience as I have not ridden all Towers rides), Oblivion ranks at the bottom of the SWs. Its not that technologically advanced compared to some of the others on lot; its incredibly short; and most of the ride is manufacturing suspense.

[evelyne-am]

19th March 2023

DAY6

It almost feels like winter so cold today. Wore T-shirt that actually is a bit warmer. But i should have known, i very quickly sweat through it. As we warm up sir seems in a better mood, things are a bit calmer. We found out that the boy who dropped out has a family issue. We started at 12 and now we are 10. unfortunate reasons for both of the boys to leave. But I think this is it. I think I didn’t mention MQ yet. (If you don’t know by now I “initialise” everyone.) 

Our group consists of  1. Sir- director; 

2. M - co director and performer; rest of the performers are (female:) 

3. MQ (theatre actor Coming back after a long break,) 

4. Srab (tv and theatre actor and director),

5. Bonh (young actor training under sir for a while),

6. Bu (also training under sir and debuted in Montrash- sirs last stage production,) 

7. Zo (young also training under sir and has acted on screen before), 

8. Sharm (seasoned actor and was in Montrash) ; 

9. (male) R (theatre actor and trained under sir was in Montrash.) and 

10.U (debuted in Montrash i think) and 

11. me (never acted before except in school play.

what I learnt from Bu is that Sir actually has a full course that consists of direction,scenography, acting, voice it’s like an undergrad course where you actually get a certificate at the end of it. Zo, Bu, R, U and Bonh I think are a part of that course. Amongst the women MQ, Srab, BU are older, I think 2 of them are mums with teen/adult kids. Bonh and Zo are younger . I think Sharm, is closer to my age. And i found out recently M is my age, though she looks younger. Boys seem one my age and one younger. Basically i'm in the middle. 

MQ was in the workshop with me and she sprained her ankle right in front of me in fact. So she has been sitting out for the physical exercises but sometimes she jumps in and does some of them and her ankle got worse by day 4 so  today sir told her to fully rest at home. So we are nine today.

When we start our warmup, I’m gathering my water bottle and things like that and I hear Sir says that he wasn’t feeling very happy after rehearsal yesterday last night but then he heard something. I stand straight at attention, as he says Armeen sent three tracks and “amar khub bhalo legeche” (I really liked them.) I could jump for joy. I burst into a huge smile and I said “ really sir?” - I think it’s the first time that I’ve smiled in front of Sir , like my actual personal life glee smile.  Within 30 seconds I have to do a physical exercise so I calmed myself down and said Armeen take the win but that’s the skill that you have practised for the last 15 years, focus on the one that you don’t have. 

We didn’t do the bane of my existence today, the running/awareness exercise! The format changed today for the first time.. We jump straight into some acting methods and then sir plays the three tracks for the group and gives a bunch of notes. I will have my hands full for a day off tomorrow to work on this further.

It was raining during a break today so I stayed on the sixth floor with everyone, it’s sweet, everyone makes each other tea and open boiled eggs and shares tiffin. But suddenly it stops raining so hard and I go out for my little bit of fresh air for five minutes in the light drizzle. I’ve always been like that. My whole life whenever we take rehearsal breaks I need to be alone, even though sometimes that means I’m on my phone.   

We had prepared parts for today’s second-half actual rehearsal time but Sir changes it up , (we do the BANE ome exercise albeit for a very short time;)and I never get to show what i have done to perfection using some of those techniques. And I had practised it so much; this paragraph where I start really slow then I go to medium tempo and then high tempo with my speech, something that Sir has been telling us to work on for the last week that I felt like I’d really nailed. Unfortunately I don’t get a chance to show it. He tells us to do an exercise where we leave the script and just say the lines from memory and I am really surprised at myself, as someone who is horrible at memorising that I do know the first half of the script by heart even though there were not the lines assigned to me. The story of M1 is really moving and I have started to resonate with her and so our entire rehearsal is really picking up that story with each of us trying various lines. We have been split into two groups, four of us to M1 and four of us to M2. (M3 it’s going to be done separately, M and Bonh have actually performed it before so I guess we’re gonna touch that one last bit already has a structure.) but right now we are making a structure for M1 and M2. Kathamo. The word i hear all day (meaning structure.)

(M1 M2 M3 are the three stories we are portraying in our play, I’ll elaborate tomorrow on my day off.) Sir wraps up our first week by telling us that we are slowly nearing the structure. But there is so much to do especially with the soundtrack and scored that we will have to figure out how much will be live how much will be recorded. He looks at me and says I should definitely read the book and see if there are lines from the other parts of the book that we could use as our lyrics. i’m mentally preparing my day off to schedule that in when is the final note of the week he announces that MQ and Armeen are being swapped over. I will now be in M2 story. 

I don’t skip a beat and I take my bags and leave and realise that everything that I’ve worked on and the attachment that I have to M1s story right now, the lines that I painstakingly learnt, I am about to leave behind. And also that my day off is no longer a day off. I am now learning a new script. 

Okay AM. You got this.

[lenyul]

To Sir, With Love Episode 1: The curse turned your son gay, now what?

In an unexpected turn "To Sir, With Love" actually has English subtitles on the official channel only one week after release. This means I can finally watch it without having to resort to the questionable yellow subtitles hardsubbed over the Vietnamese subtitles, that were the only Eng subs before this. I don't expect this to be very fluffy, or to have a happy ending, but it might make me have feelings, which is currently good enough for me.

It starts off with a Star Wars scrolling intro, which really isn't necessary. Tian's mom could have explained this, and then we could be looking at the meeting (and the pretty dresses). The most important part is that it says the year, so after a bit of googling I know that it's 1931. Or maybe that was the year they formed the 5 Dragons. Well then I learned nothing, so let's get on with it so I can look at pretty dresses.

Okay, that's better, purple sequin dress fills me with joy (unlike scrolling backstories).

I learned so much about the Five Dragons from the intro and Li explaining it to Tian! I sure hope they don't lose a family in the first 20 minutes of runtime! Well, Four Dragons doesn't sound as good, so let's not change the name.

Some guy explains homosexuality and homophobia to the kids, they don't really care and just want to go back to playing.

Jesus Christ, I knew this was probably gonna be tragic, but I didn't expect gay suicide in the first 30 minutes. Well, at least I'm no longer holding onto hope for a happy ending. Everyone is very sad about Zhang, but they don't seem to realise that they could learn something from this.

Li decides the family needs to go out to feel better. I feel like Chinese opera might not be the best thing to take his mind off the whole gay thing, but hey, what do I know, I just have genre awareness and way too much cynicism.

And that brings us to:

Murder attempt 1 (feat. CGI snake) (this show will probably have enough murder attempts that numbering them makes sense) I really thought Chan would try to blame this on the curse (I know I would have). Like if a guy kills himself, for the next couple of weeks you can get away with a lot of shit, as long as you say it was the vengeful spirit, and everyone completely misses this opportunity.

The kids are so adorable, I really hope the rivalry doesn't get to them.

The thing is, neither the scarf nor the hairpin are incriminating, but burning them is really suspicious. If someone (most likely Chan) found them, you could just claim that he was going to gift it to his mom. I get that Li took them away to punish him, but burning them is really suspicious, especially in the middle of the night (yeah, it's probably relatively early in the evening, but still).

I thought they would try to blame Tian liking feminine things on the curse. But then again, that would mean acknowledging it (both the gayness and the very probable vengeful spirit), which they probably want to avoid.

OH NO, THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING! I honestly really like the moms, even if both of them are terrible people. Li is nicer than I was expecting, but she offsets that with the homophobic abuse. Chan is a mean villain second wife, and she's great at that.

And at the end we time-skip ahead 12 years, this means it's either 1945 or sometime after. The kids are now adults, Tian still likes opera.

Well that's it for episode 1. Next time we meet the love interest, get even more intense about inheritance and I'll probably find more things to blame on the curse.

[a-vibing-potato]

Okay, but why can I never decide what media I want to consume or what I want to do when I'm sick?

Like please, I have a low-grade fever and feel like shit but not bad enough or tired enough to sleep. I've got so much free time to consume ANY media I want. I always have no free time but know exactly what I want to do in my free time and that want is eating me whole but now that I'm sick?? And I actually have time for once?? Nah, I've never wanted free time a day in my life.

Normal me is upset that I have school because I want to listen to this podcast or watch this show SO bad and whenever I have a little bit of free time after school or on the weekends, I consume as much of my current media obsession as I can.

But I literally stayed home from school yesterday, and yesterday and today I have spent my free time doing the most chaotic, uncalled for, out of the norm things ever for me, including but not limited to:

Listening to random songs, ESPECIALLY "How You Remind Me" by Nickelback. Like seriously, I discovered that song for the first time yesterday and I've probably listened to it like 30 times. (also, featuring me wanting to sing SO FUCKING BAD but I actually can't breathe and my lung capacity is non-existent because mucus and I can't go one minute without coughing up a lung. But I want to singggggg)

Watched two and like 1/4 episodes of House MD (actually like the only normal for me thing I've done these entire 2 days)

Watched SO. MANY. YOUTUBE SHORTS. THAT I COULD FUCKING DIE (pleaseeee it's such a waste of time why did they add this feature my attention span is cryingggg I've probably spent 12 hours watching shorts in 2 days PLEASE)

Watched random ASMR in the middle of the day bc I don't know what else to do and I think I'm gonna take a nap and then don't

Watched Buzzfeed Unsolved for honestly about the same reason (it's my sick show but god I never watch it anymore)

Watched a video about the French guy that destroyed his life with Orbeez and messed up the sewer system all around his neighborhood

Listened to Chrissy, Wake Up for the first time in months, maybe years

Remembered and got mildly obsessed with the "2 Days Into College" song and anything I could find with it for like an hour

Watched random animated storytime videos?????? (PLEASE like WHY lmaooo)

Played stupid Roblox games (Clicker Madness, Bee Swarm Simulator, Death Row, and Restaurant Tycoon)

Watched one (1) Jessii Vee video and one (1) Loey Lane video bc why tf not

Watched food tiktoks to motivate myself to get hungry and eat

Got obsessed with the "Baritones shouldn't sing Will Wood" videos and that guy in general

Listened to "Don't Stay in School" by Boyinaband (stopppp this is like a recurring thing I never watch him or think about him but then I get sick and I listen to his music lol)

Scrolled WAY too much on Tumblr

Listened to the pilot episode of Welcome to Night Vale

Read The Magnus Archives fanfic (I actually NEVER read fanfic so that's wild)

Heck, I contemplated getting into Supernatural like I need another thing to get into rn

Basically, wasted time doing stupid short-form media consumption that fucks up my short attention span even more than it already is, and spending way too much time thinking if I should listen to/watch TMA/WTNV/House MD, indulge in one of my sick hyperfixations like Buzzfeed Unsolved or if I should pick or or re-pick up a different hyperfixation like Supernatural??? Or literally any other audio drama podcast I've ever listened to (Hello from the Hallowoods??? Why????)

So literally I'm please begging for this to stop. If I could pick ONE (1!!) media to consume right now, that would be great, but they're all consuming me right now and I'm consuming none of them. God help me. Anyone. Please help me.

[travelingtheusa]

MICHIGAN

2024 Aug 17 (Sat) – We packed up and left Munising at 9:40 a.m.  There was a very thick fog in the area and it made driving slow.  After about 45 minutes, the fog cleared and the drive was better.  It drizzled on and off, raining heavily occasionally.  We arrived at Summer Breeze Campground in Iron Mountain at 11 a.m.  We went through a time change and are now here on central time.

      After set up, we took off for town to the WWII Glider Museum.  It turned out there are three venues all collocated – the glider museum, the Cornish Pumping Engine & Mine Museum, and a history museum.  We spoke with the manager about having a group tour next year.

      After the museum, we drove to the town of Vulcan to the Iron Mike Iron Mine.  We were given a name and number to call to arrange for a group tour.  When we were done, we found it was pouring outside so we spent a half hour wandering around the store and looking at the wide variety of minerals and gems.  Finally, it stopped raining, and we left.  We stopped at Walmart to pick up some groceries then returned to the campground. 

      The campground had an ice cream social scheduled for 7 p.m.  It started raining then and we waited until almost 7:30 before going over.  It was over.  The owner apologized profusely.  It was our fault.  We couldn’t be mad about it.

2024 Aug 16 (Fri) – We packed up and left Germfast at 11:30 after stopping at the dump station to empty our tanks.  It was raining pretty hard but it let up to a drizzle long enough for us to empty the tanks comfortably. 

      We arrived at the Munising Tourist Park in Christmas around 12:30 (it was only 47 miles to the new campground).  It’s a nice park but on grass with unpaved roads.  The rain this morning left a lot of puddles and mud to contend with.  Shortly after arrival, a fierce thunderstorm rolled through with loud cracks of lightning and pouring rain.

      When it let up, we drove into the town of Munising.  We checked out the Pictured Rocks Cruises and were told to wait until October before making the group reservation.  We stopped at Muldoons Famous Pasties (pronounced with a broad “a” like ah, not a sharp “a”).  It was OK but I don’t think this would become a favorite food.

      We stopped at a couple of campgrounds to gather information and returned to our campground.  We move on tomorrow.  More thunderstorms moved in this evening and poor Sheba spent the night cowering in the closet.

2024 Aug 15 (Thu) – We drove to Grand Marais today.  It was a cute but very small town on the lakeshore.  We walked the one block, and had lunch at The Breakwall.  We drove along the National Lakshore and stopped at the Log Drive overview.  It was a place along the sand dunes where loggers used slide the logs down to the water.  There was warning sign telling people that the slide down was only seconds long but the climb back up could be an hour.  There were people testing that out.  We believed the sign and did not test it.

2024 Aug 14 (Wed) – We continue to have a problem trying to find campgrounds.  Both for the caravan and for us as we travel around Michigan right now.  I called a couple of campgrounds and they were full.  Finally found some and made reservations. 

      The weather has turned cool.  We actually put the heat on yesterday morning and today.  At least the fireplace works.

      We packed up and took the 70-mile drive from Sault Ste. Marie to Big Cedar Campground in Germfask.  Way up north here it looks more and more like Alaska.  We can see the trees that look like they grow in permafrost and there are miles and miles of nothing.  The campground is one big circle.  The sites in the middle are pull throughs and the outer side are all back-ins.  It has a messy look to it and the sites are tight.

      Once set up, we took off for Newberry to check out their campground for the caravan.  The folks were very nice and accepted our request.  Then we drove to another campground and were turned away.  They would gladly make a reservation for June or September but they say they are booked solid for July and August.

      When driving down the road, Paul spotted an American Legion post.  We pulled in and spoke with the adjutant.  They are willing to put together a dinner for us next year.  On the way back to the campground, we stopped at a logging museum.  It was very interesting and even had a building devoted to the CCC.  Those young men transformed America.

      Finally, explorations done, we returned to our campground.  They have only one washer and two dryers (one of them out of order).  We did underwear and socks.

2024 Aug 13 (Tue) – We packed up and left Mackinaw City at 11 a.m.  We left late because today’s drive was only 50 miles.  We arrived at Soo Locks Campground in Sault Ste. Marie at 12:30 p.m.  After set up, we headed into town to check out various venues.  First stop was at the Soo Locks Tour Boat.  After gathering information about a group tour, we walked over to the office for the Valley Camp museum.  There is a combination ticket that can be bought or just to the ship.  There was a power plant next door and there was a group of people outside who looked like they were there to tour the plant.  Driving over, we got information to contact someone for a tour by our group next year.  Then it was lunch time, we walked to the Lockview Restaurant where we were going to have the group eat.  But it really does not have a good view of the locks, even though it is directly across the street from the Soo Locks.  Instead, we stopped in at the VFW Post and talked to the bar manager about having a lunch or dinner there.  She will have to bring the issue to the board.

      The town is a cute tourist town.  We walked up and down the sidewalk and bought some items.  We then drove to a liquor store to replenish our libations and a NAPA parts store for DEF for the truck.  And finally, it was a stop at the bank to get some cash.

      After we returned to the campground, we went into the office to meet with the manager, Laura.  We stayed here two years ago.  It was owned by the mother of the owner and she told us she accepted no email.  Everything was done by postal mail.  She died and the son now has the campground.  He and Laura are working on updating the policies at the campground, to include using email.  We locked in the campsites for next year’s caravan.

2024 Aug 12 (Mon) – We prepared to pull out this morning when we ran into a problem with the hitch.  Paul had to pull the connecting plate off and examine it.  With a hammer and a screwdriver, he delicately pinched here and banged there and got the plate back in shape.  He put it back on the truck and we were off at 10:30 a.m.  The drive was easy and we pulled into the Mackinaw Mill Creek Campground in Mackinaw City at 2 p.m.

      After set up, we went into Mackinaw City to check out the ferry service.  We went to Shepler’s Ferry Service and met with Amy, who I have been emailing with.  We introduced ourselves and confirmed the details of our visit there next year.

      Then we went to the Dixie Saloon for lunch.  We thought we were going to an Irish pub but it turned out not to be one.  Oh, well.  The meal was good anyway.

      On the way back to the campground, we stopped at the TeePee Campground.  This campground is very nice but expensive.  We were hoping to find a less expensive campground in the area but there are none.  TeePee turned us down for next year citing loyalty to their yearly campers.

2024 Aug 11 (Sun) – We packed up and left Ypsilanti at 9:30 a.m.  It was an easy drive to Standish where we are camped in the Saganing Eagles Landing RV Park. It is a casino and RV park.  We pulled into the campground, parked on the side, and walked about ½ mile to the hotel to check in.  After check in, we went to the Players Club and signed up for a card and got 2 free gifts.  We also had a bite to eat in the restaurant.  When done, we caught a shuttle back to the campground.

2024 Aug 10 (Sat) – We packed up and left Marshall at 10 a.m. and headed out for Ypsilanti.  The drive was short and we arrived at the Detroit/Ann Arbor KOA at 1 p.m.  This place is closer to Detroit than Camp Turkeyville but not nearly as nice.  It has a chaotic, crowded look to it.  There are lots of trees to maneuver around and blowing dust is annoying.

      As soon as we were set up, we drove to Wayne County Fairgrounds to see about having the group stay there.  As soon as I asked about group camping, the woman behind the desk immediately shook her head and declared they do not accept groups.  It is too much work and they are too busy.  I tried to argue the point but she wouldn’t budge.  We’ll try to talk to someone in administration, otherwise we’ll have to stay at the KOA.

      We then drove into Detroit to look at the Parade Company.  It is a company with over 60 parade floats in a warehouse.  Turned out the place was very difficult to find.  It was located in a run down, dilapidated part of town with several shuttered businesses.  It looked like somebody’s joke of putting a business in a closed warehouse.  We took this place off the list.

      On the way back to the KOA, we stopped at Kroger to get some groceries.

2024 Aug 9 (Fri) – We drove out to the Gilmore Car Museum.  They claim to be the largest car museum in North America.  It is located on 90 acres and comprises several outbuildings.  We met with the operations manager to discuss a group tour next year, as well as a catered lunch.  He pointed out they have a campground so we walked over to look at it.  It is a grass field with some electric hookups – 2 50-amp, 4 30-amp, and 8 15-amp.  That’s not enough for a group of 20 so some will have to live on generators for 2 nights.

      We then drove over to Air Zoo.  It is a Smithsonian affiliated museum with every kind of aircraft from earliest invention up to space craft.  We added it to the itinerary.

2024 Aug 8 (Thu) – We packed up and left the MORryde plant in Elkhart, IN, after running out at 5:45 a.m. for breakfast.  It was tough to find a place open so early, but we did it.  Then we returned to sit around the lunge and wait for our rigs to be done.  At 8:30 a.m., they were done and we were back on the road again.  Check-in at Camp Turkeyville was 3 p.m. and their website says they will charge an early arrival fee of $25.  We stopped along the way for lunch and tried to drag our feet, but still arrived at the campground in Marshall at 2 p.m.

       We talked to the campground manager about bringing our caravan there next year.  She wound up waiving the $25 fee, for which we were really grateful.  We will stay two nights.

       After set up, we drove to Fort Custer.  It turned out to be a bust so we will not have the caravan go to it.  We came home and had leftovers for dinner.

[spaciousreasoning]

A Few Days in Passing

On Saturday we visited Creswell Bakery again for sandwiches and a full loaf of sourdough bread. In the evening headed out to Marcola for an evening of Scrabble with the Grange crowd.

During the day, we also spent a few minutes going through some more instructions for the new Outlook and checked to see if it would fit in the garage. The car fit into the space, but there was still too much junk along the sides to get in and out of the car easily.

On Sunday went to St. Thomas for the Sixth Sunday after Pentecost. The homily was delivered by the Deacon, the first time we had heard him since we started attending.

After church we stopped by Trader Joe’s for some shopping. When we made it home, we had a bit of lunch, and went out to the Albertson’s for some other goods, including cat food and litter and some ant traps. We are attempting to rid ourselves of the pesky little critters that are popping up all over everywhere at all times of the day and night.

I made it to the Sunday night meeting for another week. Three members celebrated anniversaries of more than 25 years, something that does not happen all that often.

There was very little sleep Sunday night and Monday morning, thanks to the ongoing problems with my intestines. After arising very early, I went back to bed in the middle of the morning for a few extra winks.

When I finally got up, I showered and dressed, putting on shorts for the first time, since the temperature for Monday was supposed to reach 80 degrees. If we had stayed in Tucson, I would have had shorts on long before we left town.

Later, Nancy took the wheel for the drive over to the insurance company to set up the account for our new car and to arrange for renter’s insurance. Then we went around the corner to Abby’s Legendary Pizza and got a pepperoni and mushroom thin crust pie. It was our first visit, and we were pleased with the product.

After lunch and a nap, we cleared some more space in the garage so we can hide the new car from the heat. We chopped several boxes into bits so they would fit in the recycle bin. The trash and recycle moves to Friday this week because of the Fourth of July on Thursday.

Monday night I managed to sleep all night for only the second time in the past few weeks. After our morning coffee, games and bagel, we went over to the shop where I dropped off my SSD a couple of weeks ago. They had left a voicemail Monday evening that said they couldn’t get it working or take the files off of it. The next options would be expensive, so I picked up the drive, paid the bench fee, and said, “Thanks, but no thanks.” I don’t actually recall what was on there that I wanted to rescue, but it appears to be too late for that.

Then we drove to Costco and filled the tank on the new car. We had logged nearly 400 miles and used about 12 gallons, which makes the MPG around 30-ish.

We also synced the car with the garage opener before putting it in place. The only problem at this point is the lack of a key for the door from the garage into the house. The key for the front door does not work. We are weighing whether to wait on the rent agency to get around to getting a key to us or simply replace it ourselves.

[magnificentsapcaddy]

April showers bring May showers! It was raining like crazy last night, it's supposed to rain again tonight, and of course, when it's raining, you want to have a nice, warm bowl of soup. My traditional go-to comfort soup has historically been wedding soup, but 2024 is the Year of the Monthly Soup Quest, not the Year of the Same Soup You've Had for Twenty Years!

Meet the Iranian cousin of wedding soup, ash-e sak!

For the recipe, click on the readmore below!

First, a quick justification as to why I'm calling it the Iranian cousin of wedding soup - ash-e sak is a chicken-stock-based soup with spinach, meatballs, and eggs. I won't make a Venn diagram, but imagine that as the bit in the middle, and on the wedding soup side it says "acini di pepe, carrots and celery, basil and parsley", and on the ash-e sak side it says "rice, onions, mint and turmeric".

INGREDIENTS

SOUP

2 tbsp butter

1/2 small white onion

2 cloves garlic

1.5 tsp turmeric

1 tsp black pepper

4-5 cups chicken stock

8 oz fresh spinach

2 large eggs

1 tbsp white wine vinegar, approx.

Salt and pepper to taste

KOOFTEH

1.25 lbs lean ground meat (beef or lamb)

3/4 cup dry jasmine rice

1/2 small white onion

1 clove garlic

1 tsp dried mint

1 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp cumin

1/2 tsp red pepper flakes

DIRECTIONS

So, before we get started, a note about the onion here. Think of this as Step Zero.

You're going to need 1/2 an onion minced and 1/2 an onion cut into rings. The mathematicians among you will note that 1/2 plus 1/2 makes 1 whole onion. I kind of bungled up the preparation here, so let me tell you how to do this right.

Cut the top off your onion, and cut it into rings, horizontally (i.e. coplanar with the rings of the onion, not chopping up-and-down). Stop when you're halfway through it. Then, put the onion flat-side down (so the roots are on top) and cut it in half vertically. Mince your onions this way.

With that out of the way, onto the actual recipe.

First, we make the mixture for our koofteh - the meatballs. Start by taking 3/4 cup dry jasmine rice and washing it until the water is mostly clear. Remove excess water, and then add 3/4 cup water. Cook in a rice cooker. (You could probably cook it in something besides a rice cooker, but like... why would you? It's God's perfect appliance). Once the rice is cooked, run under cold water until the rice is no longer hot.

Mince your onion and garlic, and then mix together your meat, rice, onion, garlic, mint, pepper, cumin, and pepper flakes. As for the choice of meat, beef or lamb is a personal preference - I went beef - but it is crucial that it's a lean cut of meat, not a fatty one. I got the 93/7 beef, and it seemed to work fine. You could probably get away with using 90/10 beef, but I wouldn't go any lower than that.

Once well-combined, put the koofteh mixture in the fridge, and let cool for at least 30 minutes.

While the meat is cooling, start working on the broth. Cut 1/2 onion into thin rings. Melt 2 tbsp butter in a large saucepan and add your onions. Cook for 10 minutes on medium heat, or until the onions are soft. Then, add your garlic, turmeric, and pepper, cook for a further 60 seconds, until spices are aromatic. Do not cook it for more than 60 seconds! Nobody likes burnt garlic!

Add your chicken stock and turn heat to high. When the soup is at a rolling boil, turn it down to medium-low heat, and let simmer for 10 minutes.

After the 10 minutes have passed, turn the heat to medium-high, and take the meat out of the fridge. With your hands, shape the meat into one-and-three-quarter inch diameter balls. Think "a little smaller than a ping pong ball". Drop the koofteh into the now-steaming broth one at a time. You may have some stray rice and onions left in the bottom of your bowl with no meat left - if that happens, just dump it in the trash, I'd say. I guess you could add it to the soup if you're waste-conscious, but there shouldn't be that much excess.

Lower the heat back to medium-low, and let simmer for 12 minutes. About halfway through, revisit the pot with a spoon, plate, and folded-up paper towels. There will be a gross-looking film on top. Don't be scared. You did nothing wrong, and this isn't anything bad, per se. It's just the impurities from the meat. Spoon this film off the top.

After simmering, add your spinach. You can put it in whole, or chop or tear it up first. I don't know if I'd go as far as busting out a knife and chopping board for the spinach, but I would at least get it a little shredded with my hands, as well as detaching some of the stems from the leaves. Regardless, turn the heat to high, and let cook at a rolling boil for 2 minutes.

In a separate bowl, crack and whisk two eggs. While the soup is still at a rolling boil, mix the soup briskly with one hand and pour the egg in with the other. Cover and let cook on medium heat for two additional minutes.

Finally, add your white wine vinegar to the pot. Be sure to taste the broth first, and add more or less vinegar based on your preferences. Remember - you can always add more, but you can't really take it out. You may also use verjus instead of white wine vinegar. In fact, a lot of recipes I saw said to add verjus instead of white wine vinegar; at the same time, there's nowhere near where I live that sells verjus, and one or two places that sell white wine vinegar.

This is pretty good! It's a very cleverly assembled soup, where the acidity of the vinegar and onions are offset by the alkalinity of the spinach and mint, and vice versa. And yet, neither one takes dominance over the other! It's definitely a sour soup - I don't think there's a way to add straight vinegar to something without that happening - but it's not making your face implode on itself. At the same time, the earthy tones from the spices have their own room to shine without it tasting like dirt. It rocks!

I already alluded to my issue with the onions. What I did was cut it in half horizontally and then trim off the roots and stem for some godforsaken reason. Miserable to work with like that. At the end, I had a slab of onion half-an-inch thick that I ended up finely chopping for the soup instead of rings, and a coarse pile of onion scraps that wouldn't stay together to mince properly for the koofteh. Oops!!! This is why the order of operations is so critical while cooking. If you goof something up for the mise en place, it kills the vibe.

I also had a little mishap with the rice. I asked my mom what the ratio of meat to rice is when she makes stuffed cabbages, and she said 70/30. The pictures I saw of koofteh looked more rice-y, so I made 1 cup of rice rather than the 3/4 listed, and dumped it into the meat. Mistake! It was, like, 45/55 meat and rice, and I was hoping for 60/40. The koofteh dissolved into loose meat particulates and rice by the time I got to the last five or so. That's also what that blurb about excess rice was from, because I had, like, two tablespoons of Stuff I couldn't use because there was just no meat.

I remember reading some cooking advice somewhere that said, "Always remember that spinach shrinks to half its size and rice grows to double its size". It's kind of funny how those two come head to head for this one recipe

[ravetaper]

Habstrakt Live Set - Hollywood Palladium 2023

This is a 90-minute audio recording of Habstrakt Hollywood Palladium live set recorded on Saturday, September 2, 2023. The set began at 12:10 AM the following morning.

Rave Tapes · Habstrakt 09 - 03 - 2023 HollywoodPalladium

I've seen many shows at the Hollywood Palladium. Deadmau5, Voyd, RL Grime, to name a few EDM acts. But I've been seeing shows there since the 90's, when Beastie Boys and Green Day used to play the venue. It's a cool space and an historic site, but I haven't been impressed with the sound quality in recent years. My main complaint has been the lack of bass.

That's why I was surprised by what I heard last night. It actually sounded pretty good. I did sense that the sound engineer waited until the final 30 minutes to really unleash the bass. But when everything was running full blast, I thought the mix sounded decent. And the recording reflects that. Usually the audio sounds muddy. But this time, I had to do very little adjusting to get a nice sound.

The sound wasn't the only good thing about the show. The crowd was beautiful, too.

This was the best audience I have experienced in quite a while. The vibes were pristine. No bad energy, no one being pushy, no moshing, everyone being friendly and polite. Apparently, Habstrakt attracts a really wholesome crowd. I was passing out stickers, trading kandi and making friends left and right. Such a refreshing change. In the couple years following Covid, many crowds have felt uncharacteristically aggressive and insensitive. So this was a welcome breath of fresh air.

Here's what I know about Habstrakt: not much. I know he's a French-born producer living and working in LA. But I also know he's producing some of the sickest bass house and tech house on the planet.

I know him primarily from seeing his name all over the Beatport genres I follow. When I see Habstrakt listed in the credits of a track, I know it's going to be a high impact banger.

Then there's the fact that I missed him at EDC Vegas this year.

I knew about the EDC set. I wanted to hit the set and record it. But, it was a closing set. No bueno.

I'm a middle-age raver and I go harder than 95-percent of my peers. Most of them stopped attending events years ago and would never dream about going back to EDC in their "old age." But I go. I go all three days, and I arrive early and stay late. I outpace and outlast kids half my age. But I have to draw the line somewhere. For me, the cutoff at EDC is 4 AM.

Believe me, I know how magical the closing sets are. But I can't do them because I can't get stuck in the post-show traffic jam. I like to pull out of the parking lot no later than 5 AM, just as the music stops inside the venue. I like to be back in my hotel room listening to the recordings by 6 or 7 AM. If I stay for the final set, I get stuck in parking and can't relax for another couple hours, which throws off my three-day schedule of eat-sleep-rave-repeat.

But leaving early means I have to sacrifice the closing sets. I've missed a million Kaskade Redux sunrise sets because of this, and I regret missing all of them.

Well, it was particularly painful to miss Habstrakt at EDC. I've been hyper focused on bass house lately, and Habstrakt is one of the frontrunners of the genre. Reports from his EDC set were overwhelmingly positive, but there were precious few videos of the set. When the Hollywood Palladium show was announced, I knew I would finally get my chance to experience Habstrakt live.

As mentioned earlier, the sound was better than usual. The crowd was better than usual, too. And the music was perfect.

Habstrakt delivered a tight 90-miunte set. Most of it was unrelenting tech house and bass house interspersed with a few breaks and breakdowns. Very danceable, which is the aspect I love the most. I'm not familiar enough with Habstrakt's catalog to know what percent of the tracks were produced by him, but I assume the number was high. The mic work was sparce and heartfelt. I could tell he was having fun and feeling grateful to be there.

Visuals and stage production were minimal but effective. The main visuals were provided by a wall of vintage CRT monitors behind the dj decks. The effect was retro but it aligned nicely with Habstract's grimy, high-contrast brand.

I'm very happy with the sound quality of this recording. Whereas most of my Hollywood Palladium recordings have issues, this one sounded close to perfect out the gate. I applied very subtle eq adjustments and brought the levels up, that's it. (Edit: I went back and applied my normal effects chain to increase the crispness and 'liveliness'.)

I'm going to check the mix in a few listening environments and adjust if necessary. Otherwise, enjoy it.

So checking my email yesterday I saw what I thought was phishing email. It had the Live Nation branding and said my ticket was ready for Boris Brejcha the next night – tonight – a Factory 93 show at Grand Park in LA. I was sure it was a phishing attempt because there was no way I would knowingly buy a ticket for Boris the day after Habstrakt.

Just to verify everything, I logged into my Live Nation account and...what do you know. I DO have a ticket for Boris Brejcha tonight. Bahahaha!

So after I get finished posting and sharing this, I will chill for a few hours, eat something, take a shower, get dressed, and do it all over again!

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Follow and support Habstrakt!

Habstrakt Instagram

Habstrakt Beatport

Habstrkt Spotify

Habstrakt SoundCloud

Original Insomniac flyer for Habstrakt Hollywood Palladium September 2, 2023:

Alternate Insomniac flyer for Habstrakt Hollywood Palladium September 2, 2023:

[infiniteorbits]

last updated

1.

“amelie” - last updated 3/30/23 at 10:31

likes

- when songs blend into each other

- untangling necklaces

- restoration videos

- doorbells that play songs

dislikes

- when previously melted popcorn butter hardens

- when people laugh or talk at the end of songs

- restoration vids that r actually transformation

- when musical movies have less/no songs in the second half 

2.

“now twitter” - last updated 3/30/23 at 17:03

3/28

- dunkin is very hit or miss. luckily for both of us i will take whatever is given to me in any situation ever. - 07:59

- i’m a good kid just mentally disturbed - 9:49

- why is it always hot as balls in [building] i am DYING! - 9:57

3.

“lyrics” - last updated 3/28/23 at 21:06

are you there? - sbd

- “is there anyone in the audience currently living in vain?”

nights - frank ocean

- “wanna see nirvana but don’t wanna die”

4.

“band names” - last updated 4/2/23 at 17:04

i called it

señor manatee

morph suit with the genitals cut out

western haircut

vape gosh

car moth

snail gunk shoes

banana fever

radiobread

nonconsensual gymnastics routine

goodbye endemic fish

uneven sunburn

bread zeppelin

phoebe breadgers

self-imposed bald spot

turtle crossing

5.

“wowowowow” - last updated 3/19/23 at 21:21 (excerpt 1/3)

i really only wake up to go back to sleep again

i dont wanna leave my house because then i have to put on clothes and look at my body. i hate watching tiktok because i see other people’s bodies and hate mine. i hate existing

do you ever yearn to be loved by someone that doesn’t exist so badly that your body aches. do you ever ever want to pull out ur hair bc ur so ashamed of your own thoughts that you cant exist

6.

“dreams” - last updated 2/2/23 at 06:27

night of 12/22/22

[person 1] and [person 2] shit themselves. it seemed to be a reoccurring event bc [freshman year teacher], [person 3], and [person 4] were disappointed

7.

“try god: 1060 AM” - last updated 3/10/23 at 19:36

(is an atheist station)

9/16/19 : 2

11/5/19 : 1

12/5/19: 1

1/14/20 : 1

5/24/21: 1

7/28/21: 1

8/12/21: 1

9/3/21: 1

12/29/21: 1 (roche bros [town] parking lot)

9/23/22: 1

3/9/23: 1 (the bitch had like 2 stickers tho!!!)

8.

“hm” - last updated 1/22/23 at 22:57

“i’m not like you, other people’s problems don’t make me feel better” - [redacted]

9.

“wowowowow” - last updated 3/19/23 at 21:21 (excerpt 2/3)

how the fuck do candles burn out the wax doesn’t evaporate right

welcome to the achery, what can i get u? vomit, comin right up!

the world is made of orbits

the moon around the earth

the earth around the sun

our solar system around the middle

even little galaxies orbit around ours

i suppose that even we, as people,

orbit too

i like to think

that i orbit around you

10.

“i miss all the angel numbers and i keep getting mad bc i dont have to a reason to keep thinking of u”  - last updated 3/4/23 at 13:09

people kinda just age out of me.

11.

untitled - last updated 3/28/22 at 10:46

i dont know what to write. i dont wanna seem like im not workin gbut i just…. cant do this right now. i had to walk to school today and i wanted to die. i mean realistically thats not truly a bad thing. the walk is like ten minutes and its in Rennes and im lucky to be here and to be able to walk and go to school and breathe clean air and whatnot. but im so tired. so tired. it took my nearly an hour to pick out my clothes today. i decided on a shirt and jeans that dont look good together at all and that are half dry bc the dryer just does not work in this house for some damn reason and its fucking annoying. i did my makeup because i was looking atrocious- my hair was wet because i finally got myself to shower after god knows how long (less than a week i presume - i think i last showered the weekend before this week?) and the lack of shape to my hair and the weird way my face looks after i wake up or shower or do anything made me need to sit down and inevitably still be upset when its over. i dreamt that i saw [redacted #2]. it was another one of those dreams where theres a big storm or tsunami or combination of the two and we all had to huddle in a school building that looks kind of like this one but not really. i was so excited to see her and i almost cried in my dream. but i barely saw her for the rest of the dream, she was off with [redacted #3] and her other friends and not me. i was left behind. they left without me. i’m not mad at her for this because she hasnt done this to me yet but i know she will so i guess im preemptively sad and mad and upset even though i have no reason to be and thats not fair to her. i am at myself and the person in front of me and how she treats me like im stupid and i dont want to be stupid and i know im not stupid but there is nothing i can do. i know that seems dramatic. “nothing i can do.” there is. there probably is. i really hope there is but at the same time i hope there isnt because then its true. i am stupid. i do get my work done or at least the work i know that i need to get done and my grades are fine i have like a 3.67 unweighted which isnt great but not like awful. i know i could do better. i know i could work harder. i have worked harder before but its gone now and shes gone now and im gone now. im gone now. im gone now. 

12.

“favs” - last updated 3/18/22 at 15:19

bc i always seem to forget

music

dirty computer - janelle monae

sawdust - the killers

sgt peppers lonely heart club band - the beatles

rubber soul - the beatles

stranger in the alps - phoebe bridgers

apricot princess - rex orange county

punisher - phoebe bridgers 

ow - pom pom squad

turkey dinner - pinky pinky

death of a cheerleader- pom pom squad

13.

“list of issues (current)” - last updated 8/17/22 at 07:46

- [ ] chronic/crippling fear of death (usually intrusive)

- [ ] shortness of breath/high resting heart rate

- [ ] trouble sleeping (falling asleep, keepingg eyelids closed, fear of dreams [lack of control], fear of unconsciousness)

- [ ] usually naseous or having abdominal issues

- [ ] head hurts all the time

- [ ] lack of control with my thoughts

- [ ] depression :( - am i taking too much of my meds?

14.

untitled - last updated 9/7/21 at 06:51

ah oui!! désolé, j’avais fatigué donc j’ai oublié envoyer un text. on est en bus et on va arriver à 15:16

merci pour ce skype!!! j’ai aimé faire de connaissance de votre famille :) j’étais enthousiaste d’aller avant mais maintenant je suis plus enthousiaste (j’ai pensé que c’est ne pas possible!). mes parents se sentent impatients à l’idée que je vais habiter avec vous. je ne peux pas attendre pour vous rencontrer en personne!!!

15.

“grocery list” - last updated 6/7/21 at 10:37

- [x] watermelon

- [ ] orange juice

- [ ] plants

- [ ] ice

- [ ] muffins

- [ ] 

16.

“bus writing assignment” - last updated 10/19/21 at 18:05

-doja cat plays

-everyone is on their phone, with wired headphones

-old bus or new? blue model with the facing hanging handicapped seats

-new bus, c3

-woman quiet her phone

-baby blows bubbles than screams, a child laughs

-people look up as siren passes

-12 year olds laugh and play hand games in the back

-girl with dyed hair (color i want)

-its so hot, holding my bag

-i can hear music of man standing near me

- vaguely familiar man walks in

- office man

- u express bag reminds me of my own

-- woman stands to get off, holding an umbrella, clear with ocean designs (why does she have umbrella? its sunny? i have an umbrella but its new. shes holding it like its fragile bht not new)

- almost miss my stop once i realize i dont know where i am

- lost in writing

- nvm got off one too early

- ill walk ig

17.

“wowowowow” - last updated 3/19/23 at 21:21 (excerpt 3/3)

i agree with the catholics sometimes

like when they mention gay people

and get that look in their eyes

i tilt my head down in shame

but i also put my head down to pray

/

i don’t know if being gay is a sin

but it sure as hell is a punishment

i wonder if future me is looking at me now

crying on the bus, mask soaked with tears

i know she is, because can feel her holding me

i feel her hug and her tears on my shoulders

i hope she’s happy in the way i want to be

18.

untitled - last updated 9/19/19 at 07:58

kantism: you must follow your moral code always with no exceptions, which is defined as something that is good in all situations (intent matters, impact does a bit). 

utilitarianism: do what makes the most people happy (intent doesn’t matter, impact does). morality is defined by amount of happiness.

contractialism: if you agree to a contract, explicit or not, you must follow it. while the contract may not benefit you at all times, it is better than living in a world of “natural law”, a world with no contracts and no security.

virtue theory: if we try to be good people, good actions will follow (good intent = good impact). everyone should be good people because it is in our nature, it is our function. you are good if you fulfill your function and bad if you do not

natural law theory: god gave us the ability to be good

[keywestlou]

PIC DAY

PIC DAY - https://keywestlou.com/pic-day/I rarely go out in my old age. It is not my age actually that is the reason. COVID did it. I was fearful of becoming infected. Became a recluse. Stayed in. Did not go out except for doctor and hospital visits for 342 days. Now, I can't kick the habit. I did go out last thursday evening as I mentioned the other day. Dinner at Antonia's with Dan and Lisa Riordon of Skaneateles, N.Y. Dan and Lisa have been Key West visitors for 18 years. Generally, the month of January. Now, January and February. Die hard Syracuse fans. They owned and operated a restaurant in Skaneateles for years. Sold it 3 years ago. A tough business. Now enjoying life. I had not been out in more than 3 weeks when we had dinner at Antonia's. The smile on our faces tell the story. We had a wonderful time! I promised them we would go out again this week.     Picture #2 relates to another blog I wrote last week. The one where I was best man at Bob and Helen Marks' wedding 42 years ago in Maine. I mentioned I had hair at the time. Something lacking at this stage of my life. Several wrote and asked if I had any photos showing hair. I recalled Bob and Helen's wedding photo and had them send it to me. I was 47 when the photo was taken. Look at the that full head of hair! Amazing! I was also thin. No more.     Syracuse/Notre Dame last night. A great game! Syracuse won 78-73. The victory itself not the story. it is the way Syracuse achieved the victory. Syracuse was behind by 4 at half. No big deal. It was close most of the first half. Notre Dame is a 3 point shooting team. All 5 players pop up the 3's. They were dropping like rain drops. All over the place. Notre Dame made 15 3 pointers in the first 30 minutes of the game. Notre Dame could not miss. Especially in the first 8 minutes of the second half. With 12 minutes remaining, Syracuse was down 12 points. On its way to losing. Even Boeheim thought so. In his post game interview, he said, "Heck of a comeback, we were in jeopardy." Boeheim's coaching genius came into play at that point. He put 4 freshmen on the floor and went into a full court press. Turned the game around! Notre Dame lost its cool. The freshmen began making Syracuse 3's. Most people are unaware what a bee hive of Ku Klux Klan activity Key West was 100 years ago. The story. The Ku Klux Klan was established in Key West in the early 1920's. Always a reason for something to occur. In this instance, Key West's Black community was organizing. The white population feared the activity. Marcus Garvey, a black man and international figure in the national black equality movement, visited Key West. Garvey was in effect the Martin Luther King Jr. of his day. Key West leaders gathered together to establish the Klan in the Keys. Charles Ketchum of Key West became the Grand Dragon for the State of Florida. Key West became the headquarters for the State organization. Its offices were located on Eaton Street. Violence and terror erupted in South Florida under Ketchum. Florida experienced more lynchings per capita than any other State in the Union. Hard to believe such occurred. Key West today is the Home of One Human Family. A 2022 Syracuse University study found that a taxpayer in the lowest and middle income brackets was five times more likely to face an audit than a member in the highest bracket. The millionaires, billionaires and corporations do not face the same abuse. On this day in 2009, Pilot "Sully" Sullenberger performed the "Miracle on the Hudson." By so doing, he averted a major disaster. His heroic display of skill and composure responsible.. Sully was piloting a US Airways flight which collided with a flock of geese. His engines failed. The plane was carrying 150 passengers and 5 crew members. Sully safely landed the plane on the Hudson River. An impossible feat. All lives were saved. Sully became an instantaneous American hero. Deservedly so! Wear long pants, sweater or jacket and go to the gardens later today. A treat of treat awaits. Terri White sings! Enjoy your Sunday!      

[slikbedding]

the pale moonlight #2

pairing: Eddie Munson x Harrington fem reader

warning: smut, 18+ no minors ( I will come for all your left shoes), slight rough sex, fear of getting caught, fluff ending.

part 1

3 months, 2weeks, 4 days, 7 hours, 17 minutes, and 9 seconds. That's how much time has passed since that night at the park. Eddie and you had grown closer, you quit working at the arcade and started work down the road at the record shop with Eddie and Gareth. “No, shut up black Sabbath has the better covers.” Eddie argued with Gareth. “You guys have this argument at least twice A DAY.” you spoke, putting an exaggerated emphasis on the last two words. “Darling, we always do this. We've done this since, what middle school?” Gareth asked, turning towards Eddie, who nodded in response. You went back behind the register leaving the two male on the floor by the heavy metal records. The bell of the front door brought you out of your trance to see who entered. “Hi, welcome in let us know if you need any help-” you were soon cut off by an all too familiar and dreadful voice. “Hey love, heard you started working here so I came to see my girl-” Ryan started to speak till you had cut him off. “I'm not your love, girlfriend, or anything anymore so please do us both a favor and get your fucking head out of your own ass. And leave me the fuck alone, plus I am kind of seeing someone now.” you said partially lying with the whole seeing someone, not entirely, you had developed a massive crush on Eddie. “Really? Now, who would that be?” Ryan asked, but he knew how bad of a flirt you were. “Hey babe, where are the dio records again?” Eddie asked leaning across the counter where you were. “Oh its in the back by the, um, fuck i can’t remember i can go get them if you want?” you smiled at Eddie with thankful eyes. “Wait, the guy you're seeing is Eddie Munson. Your brother's best friend?” Ryan asked purely out of shock, disbelief, and anger. “Oh, hey Ryan didn’t see you there, but yeah we’re together. We have been since I took her home from the party from oh so long ago.” Eddie was slightly joking, but Ryan was completely oblivious to it. “Well, I was just, I'm gonna go now.” Ryan said leaving in a huff. “Thanks, i know for a fact that if you didn't show up or help me in any way he wouldn’t have left, i owe you one eds’.”  you smiled finally letting out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding in. Eddie smiled at you and walked around the counter to stand next to you behind the register. “Any time Harrington, plus we’ve known each other since the whole vecna thing. So, think of this as my way of thanking you for saving my life from the demobats.” he said leaning on the counter. You looked over at him and smiled. “I just wish I had the balls to actually speak to you last year, when that was going on, ya know?" you couldn’t help the blush forming on your face when he laughed.

        5 months, 3 weeks, 1 day, and 12 hours. your parents were out of town, once again, leaving you and your brother alone in the house. Which is how you both ended up inviting friends over for two sleepovers. Steve was in his room with Eddie and Jonathan, you were in yours with robin and Nancy. “No way, the breakfast club is the better molly ringwald movie.” it was around 11:30 pm and Nancy and robin were arguing over molly ringwald movies. “y/n back me up.” Nancy asked you, nicely, but you could tell she was slightly angry and her Sapphic friend. “She's not going to be much help nanc, she doesn’t like miss molly.” Robin said, rolling her eyes. Nancy gasped at the new fact spewed out by Robin's big mouth. “I've known you since our freshman year of high school, how did I not know this?” Nancy asked you to laugh at her as did robin. It was now 2 am everyone was asleep, at least you thought, and you were downstairs watching jaws for like the 50,000th time at this point. “Steve said this was your favorite movie.” a male voice said from behind the couch. You turned your head to see Eddie standing there, shirtless and in black sweatpants, you laughed a little. “Awe, I knew he talked about me. But him talking about me to you, that's confusing.” you had said with a laugh, Eddie chuckled before jumping over the back of the couch to sit next to you. “Yeah, he really cares about you. As a matter of fact he said if one of his guy friends wanted to date you, depending on who it is, he most likely wouldn’t mind.” Eddie looked at the TV the whole time he spoke. “Oh, really? Who would he allow to date me?” you asked, looking from him to the TV. “Me.” was all Eddie said, peeling his eyes away from the TV to look at you. Making eye contact with him awoke something inside you, what it was, you had no idea. And that led to you under him in just your panties, with him in his boxers, in the guest room, which was right next to Steve's room. “Eddie.” you moaned quietly while he kissed from your neck down to your core. “God, y/n, you make it hard not to fuck you anywhere and everywhere.” he chuckled slightly kissing just above your pantie line. “Eddie, I'm extremely impatient right now and i haven’t had sex in like, 6 months, so please just skip all the teasing and foreplay.” you almost whined, that egged Eddie on. “Fine only this one time. But you have to be very quiet, while yes your broth said it was fine if we dated, i don’t want him to know that i fucked you after 20 minutes of us being together.” Eddie was quick to remove the only two pieces of clothing that separated you both. You could see in his eyes he was thinking about protection. You pulled him down by the back of his neck into a desperate hot kiss. When you parted ways , both of you were breathing heavily. “I'm on the pill.” was all it took for him to place the tip of his cock into your hole. He looked at you once, but seeing the pleasure in your eyes just from the tip he couldn’t wait. Eddie pushed the whole mass of him into your hot cunt. “Fuck.” you whined feeling him fill you up was like a dream and if that's what this was then you didn’t want to wake up. He pushed and pulled his thick cock in and out of you moaning at the feeling of your heat swallowing him. “Shit, y/n are you always this, fuck, tight.” Eddie moaned leaning down towards your ear, keeping his full weight off of you as he rutted his hips into yours. “Like i said, 6 months of no sex, so.” you smirked and choked out a nearly loud moan before Eddie had covered your mouth. I said be quiet I'm not trying to get fucking caught.” Eddie whispered in your ear, with a husky deep growl. “Harder.” you moaned into Eddie's hand. He complied and started thrusting both faster and harder. He could see the moonlight shining down on your face, neck and body. Eddie loved the way the light looked on your skin, which only made him trust faster into you There was an all too familiar feeling in your stomach, you started reaching your hand down and started messing with your clit. Eddie caught sight of it fairly quickly. “Fuck doll, you that desperate?” he growled, pushing into faster. In response you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, causing you both to choke back loud moans. Soon his movements became rough and needy. The knot you felt got tight enough to where it was going to snap. “I'm… fuck, I'm clo,” you were cut off by your own hand covering your mouth as you came. Eddie continued to slam his hips into yours, which caused you to cry almost. Finally he came, inside you nonetheless, he pushed his hips in and out of you slowly. He pulled out and helped you both get dressed. After you were dressed he picked you up and brought you to your room, stepping over a robin starfish on your bedroom floor, and placed you down on your bed under the covers. He turned to leave when you grabbed his arm, and mouthed a sleepy stay. He climbed into your bed knowing he’ll have to explain what happened to everyone in the morning, but that was a problem for future Eddie. Once again this was another memories the pair of you shared under the pale moonlight.

[trialnumbergamma]

How adeuce got back to school in ch 4

Future chapter spoilers

I have no idea how far en is in the main story soooooo YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED~~~~

no I’m serious I’m going to mention things from future chapters and I don’t want to spoil anyone who wants to go in as blind as possible

okay so I'm going to assume anyone still here has played jp or doesn’t care

so in a discord I’m in we talked about how adeuce got back to isle of sages and I worked out some math that at least made me appreciate our idiots a little more. This is going to be all over the place cus im in finals week and am already putting more energy into this then my final projects 

okay so to start off we are going to have to assume some things right off the bat i.e. ace is from a city towards the middle of the rose kingdom and deuce is from a town off the cost somewhere so their locations are going to be something like this (thank you discord mutuals for basically feeding all of this info to me)

ace doesn’t really share anything personal in general the most we get out of him is that he would go around the neighborhood to trick or treat also i know he’s supposed to be British but the suburbs are written all over him

now deuce’s location is pretty obvious from what he told us in ch 5 (EN’S I WARNED YOU) in order to yell out your teen angst at the beach you’d need a beach in the first place. Also deuce living in a small-med size town would explain how a 14 year old even got  a motorcycle in the first place (I swear if yuu didn’t exist deuce would have been the protagonist but that’s an info dump post for another day)

okay so ace said that how they got back to the isle of sages was public transportation /derogatory

aka: plane -> bus -> boat -> boat -> bus

so we can assume that it looked something like this

okay so if memory serves right ch 4 takes place across 6 days and 5 nights I cant remember (I'd actually check but finals, feel free to fact check me) and yuu doesn’t message them until night one so that gives adeuce 5 days or 120 hours to get to yuu meaning

Ace flies to the airport closest to deuce (california to georgia is like 4 hours so lets go with 3-4 hours)

Ace takes a bus the rest of the way to deuce’s town (buses are slower than planes so 1-6 hours it depends how far the airport would be from deuce)

Adeuce takes the 1st boat to the 2nd boat (lets say 12 hours at most)

Adeuce take the second boat to the isle (prob another 12 hours)

Adeuce take a bus across the island and probably still had to hike a little cus who knows how safe that cliff is to drive ((½-2 hours maybe?)

That’s 28:30-36 hours of traveling not including layovers, gaps between getting on/off transport and ya know CONVINCING YOUR PARENTS TO DROP $300-600 ON TRANSPORT CUS THEIR MAGICLESS FRIEND NEEDS THEM and that’s me being generous, with how last minute the whole thing was it was not cheep no wonder they didn’t nope out of vdc they hella owed their parents money

The guilt and knowledge you’ll probably not get a ps5 for christmas vs. vil

The fact that they went through all of that is crazy to me I've been on a train with a clogged toilet for 6 hours before now you’re telling me they went on a boat im surpried they partyed everytime i go through (LITTERALY A FRACTION OF) that I pass the fuck out

This goes beyond them owing yuu for ch 1-3 this is straight up ride or die best friend shit

Tdlr: i no longer believe traitor ace theory