#not because aros cant be in romantic relationships not because she has to be repulsed for people to not do it

[dyketubbo]

just bitching in the tags a bit to get feelings out

[10000-paper-nohara-rins]

nart ships: a (very long winding tangent-ed) summary

danzen: hiruzen and danzo. they are not officially together and they never will be because of the nationalism. hiruzen is selfish and doesn't want danzo to die because he loves him. he would much rather sacrifice himself for his sake so that he doesnt have to live with the aftermath of losing him. classic hiruzen trait!!!! doesnt make moves because he also loves inaction. danzo is selfless to a fault and also applies this selflessness to everyone else whether they like it or not. the ends justify the means!!! (he has forgotten what the ends were). he doesnt make moves because of the catholic guilt. they pine after each other silently and occasionally send assassins after each other and then feel bad about the indulgence. fascinating.

the kakashi polycule: kakashi is a sex-repulsed gay demiromantic but he feels most comfortable not referring to his relationships in romantic terms regardless of whether or not the involved parties reciprocate romantic feelings. qprs for life baby!!! obito gai iruka and zabuza are usually my go-tos. all of them are desperately in love with him (the sad wet horse appeal. you know how it is.) but through sheer proximity they also get entangled with each other. mostly sexually. every single possible combination is terrible and everyone is aware of this and it is funny as hell. gai cant remember anyone but kakashis name but he objectively the best one in bed so thats just something they all have to live with. iruka wants to leave but he never does. he never leaves. he has no one but himself to blame.

tenzo: hes transmasc hes so transmasc and he's also gay and demiromantic and asexual. but i think he's pretty sex-positive and doesnt mind participating, even if he doesnt really get anything out of it. he and kakashi are also in a qpr but tenzo is not touching the rest of the polycule with a ten foot pole <3

minakushi: saw a post last week suggesting transfem 4 transfem minakushi and ive been obsessing over it ever since. the vibes are impeccable. war criminal no thoughts head empty minato and girlboss lying to herself to get through the week kushina and they were BOTH GIRLS???? that being said im also a big fan of malewife minato so idk. i go back and forth. any way you spin it kushina HAS to be transfem though i just. need her to be. these guys are one of the healthiest couples in the series i think. which says a lot.

kagurin: KAGURIN KAGURIN MY BELOVEDS!!!!! kind of like narumitsu except rin is literally nothing like edgeworth its just that kaguya has that "i can fix her" vibe that phoenix has (she is just as bad). absolutely impeccable. they have the symbolism. they have the chemistry. toxic yuri forever!!!! rin is aro but in denial and so she Decides to fall in love with kaguya because Moon Lady you know and kaguya tries to fix her and then they both die after a week because they are trying to destroy the world at the same time <3 women <3

tsunade: aroace romance repulsed sex repulsed touch adverse QUEEN!!! she and orochimaru meet up to bitch about everyone else's drama. (orochimaru is allo its just that he doesnt date because no one meets his standards.)

poly team 7: i will die on this hill. all of them are bi and they have a beautiful toxic codependent relationship <3 sakura and ino have flings every once and a while, same with naruto and gaara. the good ending in my head is the one where the three of them run off into the hills to live on a little farm as civilians after the war arc. the canon arc where they trudge back to konoha to drown in bureaucracy as they slowly drift apart from each other and the vision of a better world they once shared is kind of fun too except for the fact that thats DEFINITELY not the intend reading

rock lee: he is the perfect man. i believe he is straight as a ruler and the best guy you could possibly meet and incredibly unlucky. every girl he dates for longer than a week finds out that shes a lesbian. he has an army of lesbian best friends. eventually he had to result to mitosis to produce offspring. this is the only thing i know about boruto canon.

ankrin: yes rin gets two ships this is because she is my favorite. anko and rin happens in the timeline where she is the sole team minato member to stay in konoha and they meet and bond under orochimaru's tutelage. he ends up becoming hokage after minato is drawn and quartered by iwa for his crimes (<3) and they just kind of chill. both of them are aro and lesbians so this arrangement is GREAT for both of them. friends with benefits type of thing i think.

kisita: kisame is a mom friend. that being said i do not think he enjoys mothering itachi all that much. itachi is the exception to the worrying. kisame does it anyways. fascinating relationship. closer to that of a plant that produces flowers to attract an extinct species of bee and the fruit fly that has not adapted to co-exist with the plant but keeps it alive anyways than anything romantic i think.

[rainbowdoom32]

So I'm going to start identifying myself as aspec. Previously I identified as a bisexual aromantic but upon furthur consideration I might be asexual.

I'm posting about this b/c 1) it puts it out there and makes the lable feel more real and tangible

2) I know some of y'all IRL or on a personal enough basis that I feel you should know

3) A queers need more visibilty in gen

4) cause I want to talk abouy it

So Idk how to do a read more and am on mobile so if you dont want to hear about what being aspec means to me start scrolling now

So. In the aspec community (do we have a better word?) theres an overwhelming discourse about sexual and romantic repulsion. For those of you who dont know thats when the idea of sex , sexual content, sex itself, the idea of romance, romantic gestures, and/or romantic content acts as a squick for you it creates some spectrum of a revulsion in you to be confronted with one or more of these things. Its an overwhelming discourse for many reasons but the one I want to talk about is that it makes it obvious that your ace or aro if your repulsed by sex or romance. The process for discovering your aspec identity is easier in a way, specifically in a way it isnt for me.

See I dont experience sexual or romantic repulsion. I like romance stories and porn. I actively seek these things out. I'm not put off by discussions of others romantic or sexual lives (specific aspects may repulse me but in general I'm interested in these especially when coming from people I care about). So naturally as a teenager I never considered myself as aspec. i considered myself bisexual almost immediatly (there was a thing where I thought I was tricking myself into thinking I liked women to be included in the queer community. More on that later) it took two very short very middle school esque (one took place my sophmore year) relationships and an accidental internet encounter with the concept of aromantisim for me to realise that the reason this wasnt working for me was because I didnt really want it.

The more I thought of myself as aro the more things made sense. At the slumber parties as a kid I never had a crush to confess. Those two failed relationshios? Guy friends I'd gotten real close to and thought my new stronger friendship feelings must be what romantic attraction feels like. Also the real sticker, I dont get jealousy in romance at all. Like that one goes over my head. I dont understand why cheating is the worst thing someone can do in a relationship to the point that people who've been sucked into a cycle of abuse and have become convinced everything is their fault will snap when they discover they were cheated on. That is absolutly mind boggling for me.

The point of that is I never got that ew ick romance feeling. As a reult the road to discovering I was aromantic was long and and full of doubt. Doubt that went along the lines of "Maybe I just havent found the right person". Which also happens to be the exact thing my mum says to me everytime I try to explain that Im aromantic to her. Bisexuality she understands and accepts. This she doesnt. So even though I know intellectually theres no right person for me that niggling doubt remains andit haunts me.

Now im going to devolve a bit here and I know what this sounds like but im seriously not trying to be offensive just explain something

See I read a fanfic recently. I dont remeber how I found it but it was a Stony fic and the story and the set up were very romantic cliche. Basically Steve was Tony's booty call it evolves to friends with benefits Steve falls in love. Textbook stuff. But see theres a wrench because the author identifies as aromantic is with the definition we have aromantic. They write their identity onto Tony. Thats something we do in fanfic and in writing. But the problem I ran into is this: the author identifies as aromantic because they experience romantic repulsion(yes they told me this) so in the fic Tony is in love with Steve but experiences romantic repulsion. The idea of romance of romantic commitment makes him anxious and sick. This is how the author feels FWB allows them to experience intimacy without triggering their repulsion. Identifying as atomantic makes them feel not broken. This so good right? This is why we have labels

Except. When I read this part of the story it hurt me. Directly. See Tong Stark has Daddy Issues. Ehen the author wrote about Tony's romantic repulsion narritevly they tied it into Tony's not nice childhood. I dont know specifically why it wasnt part of thwir explanation when I told them their story hurt me. I didnt ask. But this narritive decision made what was essentially was an author expressing their experience as an aromantic in a story feel like a personal attack against my aromantic identity.

See when I read that what I read was "Tony Stark cant commit to an actual relationship with Steve Rogers because Howard Starks Grade A parenting fucked up his ability to recieve expressions of love and his ability to commit. Tony Stark is in romantic love with Steve Rogers but his childhood trauma prevents him from expresing it in the traditional manner this is what being aromantic is"

That hurt. Because it hit that little doubt in my head about not having met the "right person" and mixed it up with some childhood trauma made you a broken person. It also hit me while I felt safe. Romance stories are my escapism. Their like an extra element of fantasy in a story for me. I specifically seek out romantic stories as a comforting mechanism. Fanfics in particular because of their inclusivity. I was in my safe space, and I was whammed in a sore spot.

The problem is though the author has a right to that story and that label and to express themselves. We usually draw the line at self expression where it hurts other people but thats not what happened here. What happened here was definitial confusion. The author and I were using "aromantic" to describe two different but similar romantic orientations. In doing so we hurt each other ironically in the same way. We both said to each other "Your identity is wrong and toxic you hurt people and yourself by expressing it the way you do". (I left a comment saying how her story affected me)

When I say I'm aromantic I mean I experience no romantic feelings. None nada zilch. The idea that I might one day experience a type of romantic feeling is an aggression against me. The same way the idea that gay people can choose to be straight is an aggression against being gay.

But I can't invalidate someone else to protect myself. What do I do? I dont want to hurt myself and I dont want to hurt other people? Idk

And now to why I no longer identify as bisexual.

I'm a virgin. Because most peoples first time is with someone their in a romantic relationship with. And we'll I dont do that. Im also a socially anxious person. I have no idea how to instogate a sexual encounter and honeslty I wouldnt feel comftorable dping it with someone I couldnt trust or alternatively someone I'm friends with and would have to continue being juat friends with in post we had sex awkwardness. So ive never had an opportunity to have sex.

But I also havent sought them out. And I dont feel particularly driven to. These are reasons to think your asexual but I'm sure it's also the experience of many introverted and secually awkawrd people. And it's not like I couldnt have sex at some future point. Even now if an opportunity arose I might say yes, of only to confirm my asexuality.

The thing that has made me actually consider if I'm ace tho is a weird quirk of mine. I cant get off to prom videos. I use lit erotica. Why? Cause the idea that those are real live people puts me off. Porn stars and amateur porn makers know people get off watching their videos. Theyre okay with that. But I'm not. At all. Thats a big ol nope for me.

See I'm a ciswoman. Which means I have a clitoris. An organ whose only purpose is to provide pleasure. As everyone knows reciving pleasure via the clit requires no participation by a second person. The fact that my clitiros functions as intended and that I use it isnt sexual attraction.

Thats a new idea for me. But it's true isnt it? Sexual attraction is about other people. And sure I can appreciate other people's hotness. But just because I think a horse is pretty doesnt mean I want to fuck it. Remeber that thing about thinking I was faking bisexuality?? I was right. I wasnt sexually attracted to women. But what I hadnt bothered to consider because of heteronormativity was that I wasnt sexually attracted to men either.

Other fun fact in case you might be an ace person who's read this far (why? Also hi Katie and possibly Sadie but definelty Nishat. No im not implying any of you are ace) I dont have sex dreams. But I do have dreams in which I masturbate. So stick that jn your pipe and smoke it.

Anyways these are all experinces that I have that I feel neccessry to share to make it so the repulsion story isnt the only one out there. And also to start a discourse about how experiencing and not experiencing repulsion affect aspec experience. Thanks for reading!

[wewalkadifferentpath]

Ace-friendly SH Fics: Masterlist

Alrighty folks so strap in, here is the first round of my ace-friendly Shadowhunters fic rec list! It’s so hard to have to navigate fics that should have a canon asexual character, always just vaguely expecting disappointment (cough Raphael). So. All of the fics on this list are ace-friendly in some way or another, whether it’s tagged/talked about or even intended by the author or not- they do NOT invalidate Raphael’s asexuality (using the definition of asexuality as not experiencing sexual attraction, irrespective of feelings toward sex. And while this list does have some aroace!Raphael, it is specifically for ace!Raphael)  This’ll cover everything from ace-friendly smut for my smut-inclined friends (meaning Raphael is not sex-repulsed in those, but still ace) to platonic/solo stuff for those of my friends who are less romance-inclined. I also threw in some headcannons of other SH characters. Let me know what you all think! (Things not under the “smut” category do not have any written descriptions of sex to the best of my memory and brief scan-throughs, but please let me know if there’s something in the general list that should be under smut). If you’re strongly sex-repulsed please use your usual discretion. (And everyone just please read the tags in general).   One final note: keep in mind that this is just a collection of fics that are supportive of asexuality. While these are fics I personally enjoyed/read often, this list is not an endorsement of all aspects of the content (ie. the way other identities are handled, etc.) This list is meant to account for different tastes, just with the bonus relief of knowing asexuality is there. So, here we go! 

(I’m ridiculous and can’t do regular summaries; my comments on each rec- if any- are in the brackets): 

Saphael (without direct mention of asexuality but still unequivocally respecting it):

The Heart of An Adventurer by DustinMcDreamy 

Skyrim/Dark Ages AU: Simon is a simple tavern worker, but he wants more than his boring life. An adventurer stays the night at their Inn and Simon is enamored with both the adventurer and his wonderful life. 

(so this is a lovely person who I’ve been collaborating with and they are honestly such an ally and their stories are wonderful, this one is probably my favourite but you can check out their page for other stuff)

put the boom boom into my heart by idontshaveforsher_yesyoudo

"Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s what)"

or, the one where simon hates his life and Mr. Immaculate Hair doesn't make it better, until he does

Forgotten at Dusk by halfmast Simon finds Raphael wandering around Manhattan barefoot - things go downhill (uphill?) from there.

(So I think this is the only one I’ve included that’s an unfinished WIP and is also NOT explicitly laid out as asexual- because I can’t guarantee it won’t change in later chapters. It also has one chapter left and hasn’t updated in a while so if that rattles you, don’t touch. But it’s beautifully written and sweet and a neat concept, and so far doesn’t contradict asexuality!)

before I ever met you by izzyasavestheday (stilessexual) “I’m missing something,” Simon went on, voice cracking. “I’m missing someone but no matter how hard I try I just can’t fucking remember.”

Can you find me someone to love? by domoiswatchingyou

They all have one thing in common: they are all bad at love, even when some of them love to deny it. (Saphael and Malec AU WIP) (And I gotta say guys, I beta for this lovely person- and thus actually have a hand in writing the ace parts- and they are a wonderful individual. Asexuality not mentioned as of yet but will be upcoming). 

baby, I’m not made of stone by izzyasavestheday (stilessexual)

“Did I ever tell you that we feel everything? The clan, I mean. If I focus enough, I can tell you who’s sad and who’s angry and who hasn’t been sleeping properly. I can tell you who’s been having nightmares. There are no secrets here.”

i'd spend all nine lives with you by alaricrodriguez

simon gets himself turned into a kitten and raphael can't find his fledgling

(this is just little and cute and there’s no explicit effort made to make Raph ace but I guess I’m kind of cheating since it’s from Simon’s POV and doesn’t come up at all but it’s not contradicted and I love this fic so)

echo series by izzyasavestheday (stilessexual) “Right,” Raphael brought himself to his feet, smooth as anything. “Let’s go.” Simon gapped up at him, “Go where?” Raphael rolled his eyes, impressively, (like he didn’t care, like he didn’t care about Simon, but he was here and they both knew neither of them could ever stop caring no matter how much they continued to hurt one another) and heaved a spectacular sigh. “Home.” -

Saphael (ft. actual conversations about asexuality/the word is spoken):

Somebody out there by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)

(Road trip fic, which is classic of course. PLEASE read the tags. Could be interpreted as demi/gray ace but I identify as just ace and it fits me just fine. This is one of the first fics I read coming into this fandom, and the first one that made me fall in love with Saphael, and it’s got an insanely special warm fuzzy place in my heart) (Also 27 chapters, so how can you complain about that???) The acing on the cake by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice) 

““Oh, come on, puns are amazing! Tell me your sexuality and I’m sure we will have at least one shirt that’ll appeal to you.”  Simon patted the pile of shirts in front of him and smiled hopefully at Raphael who really wanted to disagree and tell the boy he was wasting his time here but he couldn’t bring himself to.” (pride!fic) (this author has some of my favourite ace!Saphael fics ever, and like an endless supply of them with everything under the ace/aro umbrella) A Lesson in Love series by Malteser24 ”Simon thinks it will be difficult to adapt to their new situation - in which they don't actually hate each other - and Raphael can't imagine their date as being anything but awkward, considering how out of his depth he is when it comes to dating.Instead, they actually have a fairly good time.” like a love song on the radio by eversall 

Simon's a bartender, Raphael plays the piano, and somehow they manage to communicate to each other that yeah, they both want this. 

Rock Solid Panda by OhHolyHell

(Made for pan pride day, “Raphael is actually a thoughtful softie” (and so is Simon!) (ft. ace puns)) Disasters that lead to pretty boys (are worth it) by gayinsight "My friend is out of town and I’m supposed to be taking care of her pet fish but it died and you work at the pet store help me find one that looks the same so she won’t notice!" (this one has a hella flirtatious Raphael making some jokes that imply sexual attraction but it doesn’t actually HAVE him experience it and it’s honestly one of the cutest, funniest little Saphael fics ever so) 

if i ever had your number, i think i would use it by eversall

“You – why is your number in the Pandemonium bathroom?”

(classic meet-ugly sorta vibe) I am a pile of bricks and you are holding a sledgehammer by LiviKate “So when do I get tucked safely back under Raphael’s wing?” “You won’t,” Lily said, wandering over to the other side of the room to get her own drink. “Raphael has a new fledgling now. You’re stuck with me.” Or, when Simon isn't the newest vamp in the clan, he has a hard time sharing.

Promised It All, But You Lied by sirknightmordred As Raphael lies in a magical coma that can't be cured, Simon thinks back to pivotal moments in their relationship. (There IS a warning for fairly descriptive sexual assault, but it’s actually surrounded by bolded words in the story so easy to skip. And it does not attribute his ace-ness to the assault, but it’s also rep for those of us who are ace AND have negative experiences with sexual violence) 

Sing me a Song by Margo_96

the one where Simon teaches Raphael's younger brother how to play the guitar and Raphael is not happy. or maybe he doesn't mind it that much (Okay so this is one that kind of equates asexual to ‘not wanting sex,’ and Raphael does have very strong infatuation so not so much representative of romantically-fuzzy people. Hooweeverr, it’s cute af, and I like Simon’s initial reaction to the coming out, and it’s 8 chapters, so worth a read for sure) until i’m not afraid by angelblooddemondust

(Trans!Simon (which I can’t speak to at all) ft ace!supportiveRaph (which I can)) (read the notes) -

Saphael (ft. smut):

Head is spinning thinking ‘bout by LiviKate 

Simon and Raphael enjoy their time together, even if Simon doesn't really know what to call it.

Or, gratuitous vampire sex with some ace-spectrum themes because there's not enough Asexual Raphael.

(This is a lot of blood drinking, which is not my fav, but it’s brilliant in terms of what a sex-positive ace might look like and how they experience sex- it’s from Raph’s POV, and it’s quite good overall imo. Probably my favourite ace!smut)

Just Pull me Closer by SomeWaywardDaughter  After spending an irritating patrol with Clary and Jace, Simon just wants to get back to Hotel DuMort and Raphael. (so I’mma be honest I was in a pretty sex-repulsed mood while doing this part so I didn’t fully reread it to be sure it’s safe but it’s literally written by a self-professed ace author and I did see reference to the aceness amidst the smut so I’m pretty sure we’re good)

What is Desired by DustinMcDreamy (I’m not going to include descriptions for smut because many of them are potentially triggering in nature for sex-repulsed friends, but this one is a dom/sub sort of thing, pretty hella kinky so buyers beware. It’s messy on the ace-front (the author started the series before Raphael came out, and had to add it retroactively) but there’s some good lines in there in particular for gray ace or demi folks who are experiencing lust for someone for the first/only time, etc.) chasing starlight by  mostlikelydefinentlymad There was no set destination, simply one agreed upon prerogative: drive. (So this isn’t technically smut insofar as there’s no actual explicit description of sex, it’s basically all blood drinking, but it’s a heavily implied metaphor and Raphael’s blood lust for Simon is very reminiscent of sexual attraction, so that part kind of doesn’t reflect how I feel as an ace person. BUT Raphael does not actually experience sexual attraction, the story is quite lovely, and the author is quite lovely as well, so I’d still recommend it)

Caught. by Kalifa (Lol this is short and not super smutty either but it’s like #sexindifferentfeels all the way)  -

Raphael and Other Characters ( back to no smut):

love comes in at the eye by prettydizzeed

The first time he asks Raphael out, Raphael scoffs.

(A Raphael/Meliorn fic- and I gotta tell you I didn’t even ship these two but the characterization is beautiful and the handling of the asexuality is a dream)

maybe we're just gonna live forever, maybe heaven's a mistake by prettydizzeed

Raphael presses the pendant into his palm and looks at Magnus. “How did you become okay with it?” Magnus gives a flourish of his hand. “After the whole ‘half demon blood, scorned by the earth as a monster’ thing, liking boys wasn't that big of a deal.” He sees Raphael's expression and adds gently, “But it's different for everyone.” Raphael looks at his hands. Lets go of the cross. “How do I become okay with it?” Incompatible by NotEvenThat

Raphael wants to know why their relationship works for Jace. As with everything, Jace struggles to talk about his feelings and why Raphael Santiago makes him feel so safe. (I can’t even get over how much I love that this fic makes asexuality seem like a bonus rather than a burden in a relationship- which shouldn’t be rare, but alas)

landscapes by brightclam

(Another Raph/Meliorn, those seem to be popular! Ft. gender nonconforming Meliorn and the tags “Asexual Raphael Santiago” “i shouldn't have to tag that but some of y'all demons ignore that” which made me laugh for like 5 minutes)

- Arospec!Raphael/Romance not Mentioned:

Make Yourself at Home by savannahrunes

Two occasions Raphael Santiago shows up at Magnus's door, each time with something quite important to say. (This is my favourite aroace Raphael fic ever and made me cry both times I read it. Also written by an ace author) (do yourself a favour and read this even if you’re not arospec- although that goes for all of them in this category) (he is legitimately 100% aro in this) 

Unnamed Soulmate AU by http://parabatri-gonebabygone.tumblr.com

(So I couldn’t trace this back to AO3 or even the author’s most recent tumblr but it’s so beautiful and I love this fic so much and the author (in my limited opinion) did an amazing job of having an aroace soulmate dynamic and gah, yes)

Four Times Raphael Santiago Was Kissed, and the One Time He Kissed First by albabutter 

His mother should have had a house full of girls. Instead she ended up with him and his brothers and a rag tag crew of every teenaged hooligan in a five mile radius running through her home. She was quick to grab an ear but quicker to give a hug, and Raphael put up with it as well as could be expected. She gave hugs to the neighborhood boys and kisses to her sons, and the only silver lining was that she didn’t wear lipstick. (honestly this is one of my favourite Raphael fics in general, and I believe the author only intended for him to be ace in this but I definitely interpret it as at least aro-spec as well if not just straight-up aroace)  When’s a monster not a monster? by scalira “He had never heard about something like this before. You either liked the opposite sex or you lived in sin as someone who liked the same sex. But he had never heard of people just not liking any sex.He decided to just let it rest for now, pushing the worry aside till he at least graduated highschool. But then there was a friend, and his name was David.” (*** Warning: there is a fairly sudden mention of oral sex near the beginning. And some descriptions of violence. But this is one of my favourite ace-fics in the way that it explains what asexual attraction feels like for me, and Raph is also  grey-homoromantic so bonus) (this author has lots of varying ace and demi/grayromantic/etc Raphael fics too to check out) Carpe Noctem by UMsArchive  For decades, it seems like unlife couldn't get any better and nothing threatens to take all of that happiness away from Simon. Aside from the passing of time that slowly takes everything away from him. Almost everything. (Listed as demiromantic, but as far as I can remember doesn’t even have kissing by the end so it should be fairly aro-friendly) 

Maybe by mckvch(RaiseYourVoice)

“ Yeah, he definitely didn’t want to kiss girls, ever, but boys...not so much, either.” (arospec Raphael with some ambiguousness about his feelings for Simon) It's Not a Date (Unless I Pay for Dinner) by  Vitamin_Me Clary cancels their date last minute, but Simon ends up having a good time despite himself. (So I don’t think this author really intended on having Raphael be aro or even ace, but while I’m not aro and can’t be sure, I think this fic should be pretty safe even for people who are mildly romance-repulsed. There’s definitely implications of feelings- especially from Simon- but really I interpret it as being this chill, mostly platonic, nice little fic that makes me feel pretty good when I’m sick of all the heavy romance stuff) 18. Play A Musical Instrument by GideonGraystairs

So this is just a tiny drabble amidst a sea of drabbles but I love it because it’s one of the only fics I’ve seen that’s literally JUST Raphael, reflecting, by himself. It doesn’t say he’s ace/aro anything, it just doesn’t have any romantic arc at all) -

ace!Alec Lightwood:

Accidental Fate by allonsyarielle 

There were two things Alec Lightwood knew about himself beyond a shadow of a doubt. The first was that he was gay. The second was that he does not like sex. Through a chance encounter with Magnus Bane, Alec learns about asexuality, and it opens his eyes to a new part of his identity. (okay so this one did sort of equate asexuality with “not wanting sex” but I still included it because I think it’s a frank take on how it can feel to realize you’re asexual, and all of the negative emotions that can come with that) Sleepovers Aren’t Just for Kids by SomeWaywardDaughter Ace!Alec discovery his sexuality (written by an ace author) -

Others SH headcannons: 

Send My Love To Your New Lover by HornedQueenOfHell 

(This one is about ace!Etta, one of Magnus’s old exes. It also does the ace=not wanting sex thing, but the author is ace-spec so it’s got some perspective for sure. And it’s written so beautifully and such a lovely concept. **Warning for ace-phobia and brief sexual harassment) (I cried the first time I read this) El Hijo De Santa Muerte by Gzmoii “He stepped aside, letting Guadalupe in. She walked in with a careful nod, looking around at Magnus’ loft. Magnus snapped his fingers behind his back, hiding the potions and other magical ingredients around the loft. Given that Guadalupe wasn’t a mundane, she wouldn’t be able to notice the subtle shift as everything around the room moved. Guadalupe’s head snapped toward him, “What was that?” She asked.” (So this actually DOES have ace!Raphael, but I’m putting it here because it also has aro!Guadalupe Santiago, which is hella rad) (22 ch and counting) 

You Aren’t Broken by allonsyarielle

(Ace!Alec but also demiromantic!Magnus)

-- -- -- Alright, that’s it for now!  Hope you all got something out of this! If you are one of the authors listed here and you want your fic/name OFF the list, please message me. If you have written an ace-friendly fic that you want included, hmu and I’ll check it out. Depending on demand, I’ll hopefully be doing updated lists every so often, as well as spin-offs (for example, I have a small but growing list of Malec fics that just so happen to have really sweet comments about asexuality, or have ace!Raphael as a minor character). If you want to request any specific type of fic, please feel free to ask me, I’ve literally got folders overflowing. Have a lovely, ace-friendly day! 

[amicicidalgambler]

you know what fuck it kitty did it so i have an excuse and im sick so i need something mindless to do

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? not really nah.

2: Have you ever been deeply in love? just with nadaya :3c

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in? id be willing to say its nad

4: Have you ever changed for someone? yyyyyyyes? shes willing to fake things she doesnt feel and play up certain parts of her personality for a relationship

5: How is your relationship with your ex? theyre all dead jim. except eridan and kanaya and she hasnt talked to kan and her relationship with eridan is Awkward

6: Have you ever been cheated on? as far as she knows no, but for the npc relationships its possible?

7: Have you ever cheated? nah

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating? yeah, she doesnt really care

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship? having fun but like. said in a way that sounds like she has no fucking idea what another answer would be

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? flings? she likes short barely committed relationships.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”? shed be okay with it. more than okay with it even. so okay with it that actually she doesnt care you can leave for a while and shell barely notice.

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? i guess the drone thing kinda counts but none

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? she feels like she was a tad harsh with eridan but otherwise i cant think of anything

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”? yes? she feels like if you meet someone and youre meant to keep talking to them youll Know

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet? yeah dude

18: What do you consider a deal breaker? either not being interesting enough or outright hurting her

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship? vris gives up as soon as she starts feeling too bored with them, but thats the only way shes done it so otherwise she has no fuckening clue 

20: Are you currently in a relationship? ya

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? when theyre not dead yes

22: Do you think people should date their friends? sure

23: How many relationships have you had? 3 since this blog started, 2 from canon, and ive fleshed out 2 of the npc relationships so that would be 7? ye

24: Do you think love can last forever? for other people yes. for her not so much.

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? no.

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? the first thing that came to mind was “May8e don’t.”

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? its kind of hard for trolls with instant transportation to do the whole ldr thing for real.

29: What do you notice first about another person? how their brain feels to her powers

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? bi/pan and grey-aro

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? ehhhhhhh. depending on what it is it could work but dont expect her to be that helpful.

33: Do you want to get married one day? shes not really familiar with marriage but the idea of actually committing like that usually freaks her out.

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed? n ah she doesnt even like regular tattoos

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? she prefers it that way

36: Are you still a virgin? no but only because drones

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality? personality?

38: Do you enjoy love films? there has to be something else violent going on in the plot also but sometimes

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? probably has received them, probably hasnt given them

40: Have you ever had a valentine? ppprprprprprprprobably not

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”? a murder date. really though shes not super picky as long as its fun and not too crowded

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends? mmm. she feels like your partner is supposed to be a little more important than your friends but in practice its p even for her.

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”? half of the time yes. the other half she feels like shes Not Meant for relationships.

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? yes but im not saying which one aha

48: What’s your favorite love song? meant to be yours from the heathers musical, my love wont wait by two gallants, and true love by thoushaltnot are all the ones that show up on her trntbl more than once. but im also going to add the squeaky wheel by the dear hunter

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? im pretty sure most of them were too busy bleeding out to be heartbroken

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are? shes single in pale because she doesnt really want a moirail? she doesnt see much reason to since she has nadaya and doesnt see her being as comfortable as someone else. then in pitch she has kind of weird needs and its hard to meet them.

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy? like 90% of the people shes dated have been rich douchebags. also she is a rich douchebags. thats just kind of who she usually gets along with.

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships? a broke clock is right twice a day

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single? ssssssssort of. she kind of flips between being repulsed by seeing other couples and being jealous

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)? having other people know shes together with someone is important to her but there doesnt need to be any spectacle to it yknow

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”? vriska can get really fucking jealous in the wrong circumstances. like “i want to kill your other mates” jealous. shes not super clingy though she can only talk to her mate once every couple of weeks and be fine. it can be better for her that way sometimes tbh like with mak rn.

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? yes

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? shes like the non-sexual equivalent of a power bottom Or Something. she wants control of whats happening but is more submissive Or Something.

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary? she never forgets but it doesnt always last long enough for that kind of thing to come up lmao

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships? she doesnt have anything against them but theyre very much not for her. shes way way to jealous to share a quad with someone and doesnt feel any need to take more than one mate in a quad, and isnt big on non-quad romance

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? yes she does

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”? SHE REALLY REALLY IS BUT WONT ADMIT TO IT