#not giving context to anyone and not taking questions or opinions either L

[exbotmallow]

📝 when offered "with friends" - subject was met with clear discomfort

📝 when offered "with people" - subject immediately used and subject continued/moved on

conclusion - up to interpretation

[zwoelffarben]

A question actually addressed to me (i think based on context: @iwillgotoheavenforyou correct me if I'm wrong), so I guess I now have to take the time to answer it because "It's the autism," is entirely too pithy an accurate response to be useful.

How do you know so much

The first caveat to say is that I don't actually know all that much: I'm fond of saying, "I pretend to know things," and that's not really true because I do know things, but I generally give off the vibe that I know more stuff to a more indepth mastery than I actually do. This is cause of three four things.

I'm a knowledge generalist: I don't know a lot about most subjects but I pick up a little bit about everything.

I'm autistic and for me that manifests in being very good at connecting dots to draw beautifyl patterns, even given a small number of data points.

I'm autistic and I'm very particular about how I phrase things, with nuance and depth, such to avoid being misunderstood.

I was taught how to do basic research, and I try to make a habit of doing it before speaking when unsure about something.

I typically only know enough about something to be dangerous; often I need to look things up to remember exact details but I also try to make a habit checking my position on the dunning-kruger graph before speaking by looking shit up: You will however semi-regularly find me called out for having misjudged where exactly on that curve I am enrealis; and one whoopsie-daisy of a conversation with some actual expert later I'll admit that to being wrong on the internet out-loud for the world to read. It's never a pleasant experience but I assure you, I'm always so very brave about it. That's how I maintain the illusion of knowing so much™.

Now as for how I actually go about knowing things, well the things I know a lot about were either special interests of mine or things I specifically learned about in school and college. I went to the liberal arts school ███████ where I learned a shit tonne of information and then my autistic brain started connecting dots and forming opinions about things I have no business having opinions about. I have never filed my taxes (on account of not making enough to be legally required to file taxes) and yet, I have opinions about W2 forms which I won't be sharing here because they're not relevant.

My actual areas of expertise are quite limited in scope to 400 creative writing, 250s math, (english) literature, 200s chemistry, biology, physics, psychology, economics, art theory, painting, computers and coding, 100s of many miscellanious disciplines, blorbo from shows, shows, minecraft, and my lived experiences as an left-handed autistic queer white dude whose shoelaces deep into tumblr. This is a normal amount of things to know stuff about.

I know just about as much as anyone else who is my age and has had my level of education, but my autism might make me marginally better at connecting threads across multiple disciplines to apply knowledges in synasthetic ways, but mostly I'm practiced in the art of appearing to know what I'm talking about (not because I want to seem smart but because as a baby autistic being labelled 'smart' made surviving K-12 easier for me.)

How do you have time to write in such details

I'm fortunate enough that my living situation is stable such that I don't need to hold down a job nor make a living and can spend most of my time shitposting, seriousposting, and playing minedcraft.

I do type faster than most people because I'm a left-handed person both because I type a lot and because I'm using a DAVORK-L instead of QWERTY. I actually can type fast enough to cause minor-major sprains in my right wrist. I don't tend to do that, but it's happened and will continue to happen in the future.

But mostly, I just start a post and type until it's finished. I enter a fugue state and exit it hours later +1 reblog. (This matches my general approach to creative pursuits like writing and painting.)

How do you remember all of this

Most of the time I don't. There are two relevant modes of memory (there are a bunch of others) recall and recognition: I'm good at exactly one of those things; and well, my brain is not a well-ordered library of facts that I can look things up in.

It is a mireous bayou that swallows knowledge to rest beneath its murky waters; and if I'm looking for a specific factoid I need to navigate through the generally unmarked trees until I find a vaguely familar spot or happen upon the information randomly.

The thing you don't see is all the memory aids I have when posting about topics I'm less sure about. I have a folder on my computer called knowledge I put inforgraphics in. I have a folder in my browser book marks (sorely in need of organization) called use where I keep my citable links to stuff. When I need to know a specific fact and I can't find it in the bayou of my mind, I open 2-6 tabs on wikipedia to search for it, some of which I link in the post, and some of which I don't because I'm lazy or I actually did.

I don't remember all of it all of the time: I've recently started systematizing the tools and strategies I developed over the years to help me find my way back to specific information so that theyr better at helping me navigate the murky waters of my mindswamp, but most of the time anything I techincally know is completely forgotten about until it's needed again and dredged from the muck.

[sketching-shark]

LMK fandom: Oh, what do we do about this guy who has nothing but hurt Xiaotian, tried to replace Sun Wukong and his crew, hurt Tripitaka and ordered servants to cannibalize a monkey? Oh I know! We’ll turn him into our little meow meow~ he’s so innocent and Sun Wukong is obviously the villain!

What doesn’t help is this idea is perpetuated by multiple fan fic writers and artists for some reason. Especially some aus they make that turn SWK into a bastard for the sake of the story rather than considering cultural context and thinking they should be respectful.

And almost everyone lets them get away with it just because the art or fanfic is good and they get so popular that no one can point what is actually wrong without feeling like they’re going to get attacked.

I'm starting to feel like my blog is the one anons go to specifically to vent their frustrations about the Six Eared Macaque in his lego monkey show form & the associated fandom lmao. But I guess this makes sense, as I’ve had fun quasi-dragging him before & will in fact use this anon submission as an opportunity to have my own, to put it academically, bitch fest about not just this fandom's favorite protagonist-traumatizing meow meow, but about the way villains are often treated in not just fanon, but increasingly in canon works as well. But same policy as with the last anon; I'll post my opinions below the cut, and as fandoms love to say, don’t like don't read if you don't want to see me dunking on the six eared simian & common fandom tendencies towards villains.

Oh man I would say where would you even begin with this but anon you’ve pretty much started yourself with my main gripe with a lot of ways that the Six-Eared Macaque is portrayed in fandom; there seems to be this unspoken agreement that his acts of violence towards Sun Wukong, Qi Xioatian, and Qi Xioatian’s loved ones are either to be framed as somewhat or totally justified, to be immediately forgiven/excused, or to simply & completely be ignored. Like friends maybe this is just me not seeing the proper posts but while the fandom is inundated with art and fanfics of Macaque as a generally decent individual & a true member of team good guy, I have yet to see one person address the fact that this monkey literally kidnapped & mind-controlled Xiaotian’s best friend and father figures & forced them to brutalize Xiaotian while ol’ Six Ear looked on and laughed (X_X). Like this kind of fandom villain treatment is definitely not something that’s solely at work for Monkie Kid, but it is kind of nutty how fandoms will swing between yelling that people should be allowed to like villains without even mild critique, and then will just flat-out not address the villainous behavior, and will even bend over backwards to frame even characters who committed genocide as just poor innocent widdle victims who need a hug. At its worst, I’ve even seen tons of people in a fandom get really angry at other people who don’t like a villain, and will even start accusing those people of hating real-life mentally disabled or abused individuals all because they don’t like the fandom’s favorite literal war criminal. The Monkie Kid fandom is FAR more chill & better than a lot of other fandoms I’ve come across in that regard, but that is an exceedingly low bar, & the tendency to woobify certain kinds of villains-- as with Macaque and the extreme emphasis on his bad boy/sad boy thing--is very much at work.  

 I’ve also talked before about a kind of monoculturalization of certain character interpretations and story beats in fandoms, and one of the more popular ones that seems to be applied to Macaque a lot is the “hero actually bad, villain actually good” cliche, as observable from the general fandom assumption that Mr. Six-Ears he wasn’t even slightly lying or remembering things through a rose-tinted or skewed lens when he gave his version of his and Sun Wukong’s past. Like at this point it seems the possibility that people WILL NOT even consider is that Sun Wukong never did & still doesn't care that much about the Six Eared Macaque (in JTTW they weren’t sworn brothers & in Monkie Kid the only thing the monkey king really said to Macaque before attacking him was a pretty contemptuous "Aren't you ever going to get sick of living under my shadow?," & responds to his "beloved friend" getting blown up with "You did good, bud" to Qi Xiaotian, who did the exploding), or that their original fight may in fact have mostly been instigated by Macaque. After all, to repeat what this anon summarized & what I've said before about their original JTTW context (& in an example of the things that do feel like it's often lost in translation) is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory, prestige, and power for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in very direct contrast to Sun Wukong, he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him. In fact, after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own personal benefit, but is also a literal cannibal. And yes yes, I know a lot of people have argued that Monkie Kid shouldn't be considered a direct sequel to JTTW & that's fair enough (for example, Sun Wukong probably shouldn't be smashing anyone into a meat patty in a children's cartoon lol). And of course, it needs to be noted that there are a buttload of really out there & really cursed pieces of media based on JTTW & that were created in China. Yet the above description is the oft-ignored in the west original facet of the Six Eared Macaque's character. And it is this selfishness, entitlement, and treatment of other individuals as tools for his own self-serving ends  that is, from where I’m standing, still very much present in Monkie Kid. Like besides repeatedly going out of his way to physically and psychologically traumatize Xioatian, with the last episode Macaque seemed to be going right back to his manipulative ways. I’ve seen people frame their last conversation as Macaque softening to Xioatian a little bit, but personally that read a lot more like that common tactic among abusers where even after they’ve hurt you they’ll dangle something you want or need over your head (in Macaque’s case, the promise of desperately needed training and information about a serious looming threat), with the implication that you’ll only get it if you do what they want you to, such as, in this case, Xioatian going back to Macaque as his student even after having been so terribly hurt by this monkey, which would give Macaque power over Xiaotian and probably Sun Wukong as a result. And it is this violence and manipulation that it seems the fandom at large has tacitly decided shouldn’t even be addressed, instead leaning more towards a (and this is an exaggeration) “Six-Eared Macaque my poor meow meow Sun Wukong has always been bad & has always been wrong about literally everything” reading. 

And while it is the case that I am not Chinese and feel that as such it would be best left to someone who actually comes from that background to provide more context into how common interpretations of the Six Eared Macaque from China may clash really badly with the stuff the western fandom creates, it also must be noted that, as much as we all want to have fun in fandom & in spite of all the out-there versions of JTTW from China, we westerners should recognize that there is a very long and very ugly history of western countries stripping other cultures’ important religious and literary works for parts & mashing them into their own thing while implying or even insisting that what they present provides a true understanding of the original piece. And while I trust most individuals in regards to Monkie Kid are able to step back and think “this is a lego cartoon and not a set guide for how I should understand JTTW” (especially given the insistence that JTTW and Monkie Kid should be considered there own separate works) there does nevertheless seem to be something of a tendency to take the conclusions people come to, for example, about Sun Wukong’s characteristic in his lego form & then assume that’s just reflective to Sun Wukong as a totality. I imagine a good portion of this is due to people not reading JTTW & especially to not having easy access to solid information or answers about JTTW’s many different facets (like geez awhile ago I was trying to get a clear answer on what is considered the most accurate translation of the names of Sun Wukong’s six sworn brothers & got like 5 different responses lmao), but that tendency to take a western fandom interpretation & run with it instead of doing any background research or questioning said interpretation is still very much at play. As such, & as made prominent in the way people have been interpreting the dynamic between Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque in the lego monkey show, tbh it does seem kind of shitty for western creators & audience to sometimes go really out of their way to ignore all of this original cultural & narrative context for the sake of Angst (TM) in Macaque's favor, demonizing Sun Wukong, and shipping the monkey king with his evil twin (X_X).

And speaking of which, even beyond the potential inherent creepiness & revulsion that can be inspired by this specific ship given common interpretations of the og classic's original meaning (again, it's my understanding, given both summaries of translated Chinese academic texts I've been kindly provided with, my own reading of the Anthony C. Yu translation of JTTW, & vents from a number of Chinese people I've seen on this site, that the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China as having originated from Sun Wukong himself as a living embodiment of his worst traits, hence why only Buddha can tell the difference between them & why the monkey king is much more slow to violence after he kills the macaque), I'd argue that in the face of all the uwu poor widdle meow meow portrayals lego show Macaque is, especially if you include JTTW's events, still in the role of “Sun Wukong but worse” as he is very much a violent & selfish creep. Like he was basically running around in JTTW wearing a Sun Wukong fursuit, but there he had the sole reason of wanting to replace Sun Wukong wholesale so he could have all the good things in the monkey king's life without actually having to work as hard for them. But if you combine that with Macaque now claiming that he used to be best friend with Sun Wukong in his pre-journey days (something that's made funny from a JTTW context given that that status actually belongs to the Demon Bull King lol), his original violence has now blown into this centuries long and really unhealthy obsession with the monkey king. Like he's apparently gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to being so obsessed with getting revenge on Sun Wukong that he's got basically nothing else going on in his life. Like he's only appeared in two episodes but...does he have any friends? Any family? A career or even a hobby that DOESN'T center the monkey king? Anything at all outside of his "get revenge on and/or kill Sun Wukong/use his successor as my personal punching bag” thing? Like dude! That is extremely creepy and extremely bad for everyone all around! As I’ve said before, this seeming refusal to see beyond the past or to do something that doesn’t involve Sun Wukong in some capacity is a trait that makes Macaque an interesting and somewhat tragic villain--he even seems to be working as Sun Wukong’s reflection in a mirror darkly, with lego show Sun Wukong pretty clearly not being able to heal from his own past which is hinted to be defined by one loss after another, and with Monkie Kid even kind of having these two characters somewhat follow their JTTW characterizations in that in the latter half of the journey Sun Wukong often gets sad & starts crying in the face of what seems insurmountable odds (& Monkie Kid Sun Wukong does seem to be hiding some serious depression behind a cheerful facade), whereas the Six-Eared Macaque retains a worse version of Sun Wukong’s pre-journey characteristic of getting pissed and lashing out if things don’t go his way--but it’s also what would make any current friendship or romantic relationship between these monkeys horrific. Although to be fair even the fandom seems to recognize this in an unconscious way, in that a lot of the art & fanfic seems to swing erratically between them kissing & screaming at each other in yet another example of bog-standard fandom adulation of romanticized toxic relationships lol.  

At the end of the day, of course, this is nothing new. You'll find versions of this dynamic across a ton of fandoms and now even canonical work. And as such, I can only look at this kind of popularized relationship dynamic with a kind of resigned weariness whenever it pops up, & my frustrated question with the popularity of this kind of pairing is the exact same one that I have for a multitude of blatantly toxic villain/hero ships, given common fandom discourse & the tendency to either ignore or justify the villain's actions & demonize the hero: if you're THAT convinced that everything is the hero's fault, if you believe THAT much that the hero is the one in the wrong for the villain's pain and their subsequent actions, then why are you so set on them not only becoming a romantic pair, but framing this get-together as a good thing? Like I know we contain multitudes but that's waaay too many contradictions for me to wrap my head around. And it definitely doesn’t help that one branch of underlying reasoning behind this kind of pairing seems to be the ever-present “you break it, you fix it” mentality, where the assumption is that if you’re in a failing, abusive, and/or generally toxic relationship (platonically or romantically), if you put in enough time and effort & attempts to compromise, you’ll be able to restore/have the relationship you dreamed of, even with someone who hurt you really badly. And this assumption isn’t limited to fandom: I’d even argue that it’s everywhere in the culture, hence why a lot of people feel like they “failed” if they have to get a divorce or make the choice to leave an unhealthy friendship. Personally, I feel like people could really benefit from more stories about how it is not only the case that the people you hurt don’t owe you their forgiveness & you can still become a better and happier person without the one you hurt in your life, & that while it can be really hard it can also be a good thing to leave a relationship, even if it’s one that once meant a lot to you. 

  But in all honestly, from my own perspective this kind of pairing is starting to read far less like enemies to lovers and far more like a horrible fantasy where you can pull whatever shit you want, even on the people you "love," & never be held accountable for your terrible behavior or even have to consider that maybe you were in the wrong. It's another facet that makes me larf every time I see people insist that fandom is an inherently "transformative" or "progressive" form of storytelling like friends you are literally just taking status quo toxic monogamy & rebranding it as somehow beneficial & romantic (X_X).

But as to anon’s last frustration, it is hard to know what is the appropriate response with this kind of thing...like for my own part I’m keeping my frustrations to my blog & now increasingly to posts that you would have to click on the “read more” button to see what I have to say, but I totally get the hesitation to give even a mild critique to big names in a fandom. Like I've now seen it happen repeatedly where someone who has a big name in a fandom will make something that's kind of shitty for one reason or another, someone will message them with some version of "hey, that's kind of shitty, you shouldn't do that," and the typical response is either to blatantly ignore the issue completely, or more popularly to make a giant crying circus that seems deliberately geared towards stoking emotions on both sides of the, for example, fiction does/doesn't affect reality issue so that something that didn't even have to be that big a deal gets blown out of all proportion, with the big name often framing what often started out as a very mild critique into a long crying jag about how the initial response to their kind of shitty thing was so mean/cruel and they're just a poor innocent & that YOU'RE the true racist/sexist/bigot etc. if you don't agree with their opinion. It must of course be noted that there have also been numerous instances of people taking it too far the other way & sending not just big names but smaller creators literal deaths threats over stuff like innocuous ships which like holy hell bells people that’s a horrible thing to do. But for the big names at least, the end result of all this fighting is usually that once the dust has settled they have more attention/fame/money/power in the fandom than before, and with anyone who might have a problem with their stuff feeling afraid to voice their opinion lest they be swarmed by that person's fans. In that way fandom does often seem to increasingly be geared towards presenting an “official” fandom perspective about various facets of a piece of media instead of allowing for a multitude of interpretations, and with criticism, no matter its shape or form or how genuinely warranted it may be, being hounded out of existence. I feel like a lot of this could be made less bad if there wasn’t this constant assumption & even drive to think that a different interpretation of or criticism of your favorite work of fiction or your fanwork isn’t a direct claim that you are a thoroughly loathsome individual (& maybe also if people cultivated an enjoyment of learning things about important works from a culture outside their own, even if what you learn clashes with your own initial understandings), but I guess we’ll see if that ever happens. 

So these are my general thinks about the Six Eared Macaque’s current fandom meow meow status & some of my bigger gripes with fandom tendencies as a whole. I stand by my idea that the most interesting & beneficial route for Macaque moving forward would be a kind of “redemption without forgiveness from the ones you hurt” arc--as I think was done pretty excellently with the character Grace in Infinity Train--and if for no other reason than gosh dern this monkey really needs to cultivate some sort of identity beyond his “Sun Wukong but worse” persona. 

[rpg-elf-girl]

Shadows House

I have a lot of thoughts surrounding this particular show, both good & bad.

Allow me to give a quick summary for anyone who hasn't seen/read it!

Shadows House is about 'a faceless family of nobles who all live within this giant manor, the Shadows House.

When a Shadow comes of age they receive a 'Living Doll' to both serve as their face and to clean the soot they emit from their bodies.

The most important rule of the living dolls is "don't fret over trivial matters"

A task which is difficult for the ever curious doll Emiliko.

Watch this tale unfold as Emiliko & her mistress Kate navigate this ever mysterious Manor together.'

For a fan of slow burn thrillers, horror, slice of life, supernatural & mystery series' this has been an absolute blast!

It's not quite the combination of genres you'd expect from a show, but it works really well here!

In fact I was so into the anime that this is actually the first show where I broke down and read the manga!

Unfortunately there's no official English release, but at least there are some people translating the series!

As much as I'd like to go on about the manga, this post is meant to be more so about the anime so I'll (try to) leave it at that.

Though i feel obligated to warn anime onlys I'll likely refer the manga a lot in a spoiler section latter in this post I'll try to be vague but I can't guarantee anything. For anyone worried about that I'll lable it do you can read on until then.

Everything from the animation to the music was amazing & completely fit the mood of the story! I remember a couple scenes where I actually teared up because of this!

The Ending theme is an absolute banger! I've listened to that on repeat ever since I first heard it! And the Opening is also great! It's cool for it to be an instrumental, stuff like that is pretty rare! I also heard the song in the op as a motif in the music throughout the show! It really sets the right mood in each scene it's in! It's amazing for getting into each episode!

In terms of adaptation almost everything from the beginning to the end of the Debut arc was done amazingly well!

Even with the stuff they cut it still holds true to the spirit of its source.

The main important part that was cut is something that could easily be introduced latter if they decide to go for a second season, so I'm not too mad about that.

However! Everything after the debut is a bit of a different story.

There was a lot I liked about the last couple episodes but there were some parts that were immersion breaking for me.

I've been being vague up until this point l, but I'm planning on going into spoiler territory for both the anime and manga after this. So I'll make a quick spoiler free summary of my thoughts before moving onto that.

I really really loved this show but in my opinion the last 3 episodes were the weakest of them all. They went anime only for the ending. I don't mind that on it's own, but it was rushed and the writing was sloppy at times.

Now I'm not telling you to not watch the show! Most of It's really really good, and I can still see people enjoying the parts I'm talking about if they want to give the anime a try. Overall I've fallen in love with this series and I could never recommend it enough.

If what I'm saying is giving you bad vibes the manga is available and doesn't have the issues I've mentioned. You can look for a translation online, it didn't take me long to find one so don't worry too much about that.

Also! if you're an anime only who's finished the series and want to know where to pick up the Manga I'd recommend at least skiming through the beginning. I know it might not be what you're looking for but there were a bunch of small scenes that either got cut or were merged for adaptation purposes that I think are super cute & give more context to different aspects of the setting. However! Pay close attention during the "night watchers part" something important got cut .

~~~Now for spoilers!!!!~~~

I don't want to make it sound like I'm some manga purist who hates the very thought of the slightest change from the source. I'm anime only for a lot of different shows and I've always despised it when that type of manga reader reared it's ugly head.

While I'll admit some changes did bother me I won't make a fuss about the smaller stuff.

With that said!

I hinted earlier in this post that I didn't have a big problem with Robe-same being cut. That was because without them there it does make for a more complete story if they only get one season to work with.

If there is another season they can easily be introduced latter on. Like maybe Emiliko & Shaun can meet them when the Debutant class reunion is going on before they talk on the roof (or right after that) I actually think that would be the perfect time to introduce them (other than the time they were supposed to appear, but I digress)

Louise teaming up & being friendly with Kate can be explained with some dialogue changes at the first Debutant Class Reunion. Louise can say she was just trying to show off or that she just wanted to get back at Edward and that she isn't interested in helping Kate with her problems. Things can then go on as they did in the manga.

Kates being reckless & telling everything to John can be explained by her being extremely panicked when Emiliko went missing, as long as there are some lines of dialogue adressing this it's fine. Though I do wish she tried to keep some stuff a secret but couldn't because Shaun tries to interfer because he's still brainwashed, or something along those lines. It felt a bit weird after she just told Emiliko to keep that stuff between them. Still that could be explained by how panicked she was.

There are other things, but I don't want to drag the post on too long. Most of the issues can be fixed with little changes here & there.

I never had a problem with the idea of them going in an anime only direction. I just want to have a good time with the show.

Unfortunately I can't 100% vouche for the direction the show went in. There were elements that I can't excuse, even viewing it as it's own entity instead of an adaptation.

My main complaint with it is how they handled the brainwashing of Ricky & Lou. They didn't say a word when the Debutants were talking badly about Edward & even went along with a plan to go against him. It makes absolutely no sense!

Shaun freaked out when John only suggested that he didn't have to be loyal to the house. These guys were flat out rebelling against an adult! It felt like Ricky & Lou didn't have a purpose & were just there to be there.

The whole point of the coffee is to influence shadows against doing stuff like this. It makes the coffee seem pointless and the adults seem dumb for relying on it to control the kids.

I haven't even brought up the fact that both of their brainwashings were broken by something as simple as a few kind words. It straight up contradicts the rules established by both the Anime and Manga.

This becomes very apparent when you consider all the trouble John & Kate went through to free Shaun & Emiliko.

This was my biggest complaint, but I have some other issues as well.

The next big one is how they handled Edward.

1. Why on earth would he even consider kidnapping Emiliko when he had complete control of the childrens wing? Before this point he was depicted as being a lot more crafty than this. He could easily have Kate monitored or something.

2. Why didn't he use his powers to stop them like what he did to Maryrose & Rosemary when they fought back being taken to the adults wing? He's already shown off his power at this point, why not?

3. Why did he reveal his soot powers at all!? Especially while using his face in front of the kids! The whole unification thing is one of the biggest secrets of the house for good reason! There's no way he wouldn't get in huge trouble for exposing it to children!

Here are some other related questions.

Why didn't Kate, Emiliko, & John react to Edward using soot powers? They shouldn't know about unification yet so why didn't they act shocked, or say anything about it?

Is Edward being banished even an option in the Shadows House? Wouldn't the third floor lords just dispose of him rather than risk letting him leave?

How did John even get a veiled dolls outfit? Louise had to use her powers to get Kate one & she left a long time ago.

I can't think of much else at the moment, but I think you get my point.

Please don't take this as me saying that I hate the show because of these episodes. Even if I consider them the weakest of the series I still found a lot of parts to be very enjoyable!

Like I thought it was adorable When Edward was attempting to interrogate Emiliko & she kept being her sunshine self pretending to eat & falling asleep.

Barbara getting to tell off Edward for breaking the rules was great!

I loved seeing Shaun hatch the plan to get Kate into the adults wing to save Emiliko.

Seeing John (attempt to) sneak around the adults wing had me rolling!

The ending scene of Shaun, Ricky, & Lou singing gave me the chills.

(Though I wonder how they'd handle Shaun & Emiliko being brainwashed again since they already used the scenes where they're freed)

Kate & Emilico being propelled by John back to the children's wing was absolutely amazing! I found Shaun & Ricky running over to catch them to be super sweet! (Not to mention the way that scene was animated was absolutely gorgeous!)

Getting hints to what was supposed to come after the debut was nice, at least the groundwork is there in case this gets a season 2!

To (try to) wrap this all up while there were a lot of things I loved and disliked about this show I still had a really fun time watching it!

I kinda hope there's a season two just to see if they can tidy up the mess that the last few episodes created.

Regardless of whether that happens or not I came out of this with a series I absolutely adore.

Heck I could make a whole other post about the manga. (Hopefully one that's less ranty)

Anyway! I won't take any more of your time.

I hope you all have a wonderful day/night! And I hope to see you in my next post!

(Sorry if this one was a bit of a mess!)

[lucifers-horror-harem]

Heyy so I was wondering if you could do a nsfw alphabet for Brahms? 🥺

Hey I’m sorry it took me a hot sec to post anything in a while but hopefully you enjoy! I love doing these alphabets cause it helps me get a better feel for the character.

Brahms N/S/F/W Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Brahms is a clingy boy after sex, typically wrapping himself around your body and refusing to let go. You’re his teddy bear and he’ll throw a tantrum if you refuse to snuggle with him afterward. He loves leaving kisses along your neck and jaw and humming so deeply it reminds you of a purring cat.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His hands are probably his favorite part of his. Especially after meeting you and reveling in how you react to his touch. No matter your size he will always see you as smaller and more fragile than him and seeing his big hands gripping your wrists or holding onto your waist always get him going. 

While he would love every part of his partner unconditionally, his favorite part would be their eyes. There’s so much emotion he can see from them, he can tell when you’re happy, worried, upset, or needy. He can’t get enough of the way you look at him with such softness when he is at his most gentle and desire when he is teasing you. And sometimes, he gets a thrill out of the look of fear in your eyes when he is being more dominant and direct with you, liking to see just how much of an effect he has on you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Brahms will certainly make a mess out of you if you’ll allow him. He really can’t decide where he likes to come the best. A few of his favorite places would be your chest, along your stomach and thighs, and inside of you. He gets a rush seeing you covered in his come like he’s laid claim to you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Brahms has loads of dirty secrets, he's lived in the walls for most of his life so everything of his is a dirty secret. But one of the dirtiest that he has is that before he revealed himself to you, he would steal your underwear and watch you through the walls. You wouldn't have to be doing anything explicitly erotic, but anytime his urges got the better of him and when he felt he might lose himself and lunge out of the walls to grab you, he will take your underwear and jerk it off along his cock, the fabric adding much-needed friction for him to satiate his urges and come before he does anything too rash. As he usually makes a mess of your underwear, you find you're missing a lot of pairs frequently, both clean ones and ones from the hamper. Because you know Brahms is a dirty boy and would definitely get off on inhaling your smell as well. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He is a virgin, no question. The most experience that Brahms has is what he's read in the books on his shelves. He most likely hasn't read actual erotica but the books that he's read might have some sexual scenes or descriptions of such things (albeit probably only from very older books that use way too many euphemisms and flowery language). He is also aware of reproduction and how to have sex through diagrams in stuffy anatomy and biology books. As a lot of his knowledge is in a scientific context, he will really need you to guide him the first few times. After that, it's no holds barred. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He has a hard time deciding. Brahms really enjoys missionary so he can pin you down and watch every expression on your face as he pleasures you. However, he is also partial to doggy style because sometimes he gets so worked up that he can’t help but want to take you as roughly and deeply as possible. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Brahms is always more serious during intimate moments, the most he might do is a little laugh as he teases you. He’s not one for joking during sex simply because he is still a little insecure about his abilities, though if you’re with him for long enough he might start to loosen up a bit.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Have you SEEN how hairy this man is??? Brahms has probably never used a razor in his entire life so he's a full wolfman. He also never really had opportunities to clean himself fully like in a shower (the most he probably does is a makeshift sponge bath if even that) so you're most likely going to have to get him used to proper hygiene unless you like a very stinky wall boy. He also wouldn't bother with his body hair on his own unless you offered to trim it for him. A full shave anywhere right off the bat might not be too good either, because he will feel naked and itchy for days. You will have to get used to some hair on him because even if you were offering him kisses as rewards for shaving he wouldn't let himself be completely shaved head to toe. As it is, it'll be an absolute pain trying to get Brahms to agree to you manscaping him below the belt because it is certainly a mess down there. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Brahms is always romantic during intimate moments. Or at least, what he believes is romantic. Most of the time he is simply overwhelmed by his desire for you and if he can manage it in the heat of the moment he will grunt how beautiful and lovely you are in your ear as he thrusts into you, praising and telling you that you’re all his and no one else’s. His heart is in the right place but you might need to help him understand the nuances of romance.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Absolutely. While he might have associations with it being a dirty act from being punished by his mother, he still finds he cannot help himself when he first saw you through the walls. Mostly it’s a way for him to calm himself down and take control of himself again when he feels the urge to reveal himself to you. At first it might begin when he sees you changing or showering, but it could escalate to him just jacking off to you doing simple tasks around the house. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Brahms might have a hard time putting words to describing what his kinks are because he has been so sheltered, but he has far too many to count. Essentially when he finds his perfect person to be the nanny at the Heelshire mansion, his kink will be everything about you. You yourself are what turns him on the most. He’s a huge voyeur, no surprise there. He also has a bit of a size kink because of his size compared to you. Essentially if his partner is involved, he will be down to do or try anything. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He loves dragging you in the walls and having sex with you pinned flush against the wall. While he’s thrusting into you from behind, he’ll make you look through one of his peepholes and tell you exactly what he does while he watches you through them. His bed in the walls is another favorite place, mostly because he can keep you between the wall and him and you would have to get through him if you wanted to get up. He likes having you all trapped for himself. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Honestly, anything can turn Brahms on when it comes to you. You could show this boy a bare ankle and he would instantly nut. But if you really want to drive him crazy, wear revealing clothing. Lingerie, booty shorts, crop tops, leggings, skirts, anything that covers you while also teasing what is underneath. He won’t be able to control himself and he will either pester you all day about giving him attention or simply tackling you on the spot and giving all of his love right then and there.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Absolutely will not share you with anyone else. He refuses to even entertain that notion. On a similar note, he wouldn’t be interested in public sex, not that he leaves the Hillshire mansion anyways, but he refuses to even think about someone other than him looking at you in such a vulnerable position. You’re his and his alone.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He is usually more of a giver. Brahms always wants to make sure you’re taken care of, and as someone who is horny for praise, he gets off on getting you off. And if you tell him what a good boy he’s being? Instant nut. Though he will never turn down oral from you, though he might be a little twitchy about it at first. He’s not used to someone pleasuring him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

When he’s horny and in more of his man persona, he’s all sorts of feral and rough with you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to take his time, he’s just usually so pent up and has such a high sex drive that he can’t help himself. It’s possible for him to go slower but it will take a lot of urging him and a bit more willpower on his end, as well as the promise of rewards if he does.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

All. The. TIME. Since he’s been so pent up for years upon years in the walls, any small action from you will get him needy. If you’re not careful, he’ll bend you over every surface in the house, and then when he’s done will scurry away while you’re sitting there trying to process what just happened, all the while cursing him for making you horny in the process, thus continuing the cycle. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Brahms is hardly a risk-taker in his own life and any sort of change will upset him. Even spending more time outside the walls is tough for him, but once he’s grown used to you the risky behavior he will have is having sex outside the walls or your bedroom. For someone so used to sneaking out of the walls without being spotted and getting reprimanded by his parents, it’s a thrilling experience for him to be so naughty out in the open with no one scolding him for it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

While he isn’t one to last a long time, he can go for as many rounds as he can stand. Since just about everything about you gets him in the mood, he could have just orgasmed and will start getting hard again. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Brahms doesn’t personally own any toys but if you do he won’t protest. The only thing he might not like is if you use them by yourself. He wants to be a part of the fun too, whether he’s using them on you, you on him, or both of you using them together.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He LOVES teasing. Any opportunity to see your flustered expression while you try to scold him is one he will take. Plus he loves seeing just how needy he can get you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Brahms usually isn’t loud at all especially if the sex is slower. He might make a few moans here and there. But when he’s needy for you he will make all sorts of animalistic grunts and groans. He’s less talkative except to tell you how good you’re being for him. He usually gets so carried away that he can hardly speak and mostly just moans in your ear as he ruts into you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Brahms is a curious boy, and on some occasions when he steals your underwear he’s attempted to wear it. Especially anything soft and silky you might own, it’s a different sensation on his body that he isn’t used to and the whole debaucherous act leaves him unable to contain himself. You might have to invest in buying him his own undies. But even then he would prefer to steal yours because they smell like you. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He is slightly above average length but he is also endowed in the girth department. Again, lots of hair down there. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

The easiest way to explain his sex drive is that he is the kind of guy to get hard over any bare bit of skin not covered. He will settle down more the longer you're together, but he still acts like a feral animal anytime he sees you. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He will be out like a light as soon as his head hits the pillow. Get used to falling asleep with his arms and legs wrapped around you and his chin resting on your head. Good luck if you need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

[tosikoarts]

SFW Alphabet | Kadokura Toshiyuki

There he is, the tanuki man! Ask box is now OPEN. You can check tosikowrites tag for more. Warning: there’s a lot under the cut.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

 Thanks to the omnipresent influence of bad luck, Kadokura has little experience when it comes to love life (yes, we don’t count a marriage which was a complete failure, okay, his wife and daughter ran off), courtship, and romance in general. Those relationships he was involved in never grew in anything serious, and he was often left with nothing but a broken heart so, obviously, when Kadokura starts to notice a flaring interest in anyone, he is confused.

First, what? Second, why? Could it happen in a more convenient time, not when he is hunted by a rabid Superior Private and, potentially, by a dozen more dangerous personalities in Hokkaido? Despite being a complete wreck, Kadokura tries to play it cool. He acts just as unperturbed as always, does not go out of his way to impress his untimely crush because what if they don’t like him at all? Worse! What if they are disgusted with him or something?

Thus the only affection they can expect are endless entertaining conversations, - Kadokura knows a ton of fables and his heart skips a bit when they laugh at yet another story, - and help whenever they may need it. In fact, he is just scared to death that his “luck” will affect them too. Moreover, if it happens, he won’t be able to protect them or play a knight in shining armor since he isn’t that personable, formidable, strong…

Kadokura is a king of pinning and self-doubt so, you know, the only way this relationship can progress anywhere is if his crush takes the initiative. Takes him by the hand, makes some compliments, shows that they care and are interested. The best option would be to just tell him directly what a dumb dummy he is that he can’t notice their green lights.

After that everything becomes much easier: Kadokura slowly steps up his dating game! Sure, it’s a long time from “Wow, your eyelashes are so long. Like cow’s eyelashes” to “Moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” (Note: check out Natsume Soseki to understand the context!) and from chilling by the fire to sitting on the porch of own house but trust the process.

Mostly relies on the way his partner shows their affection and adjusts to them. If they are more about verbal affection, he will put all his efforts into becoming smooth talker, if they are a more physical person, Kadokura will hold them by the hand and hug the shit out of them. Simple as that.

 B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

 The start of this friendship is unpredictable. They had to meet either before Kadokura started to work as a jailor (or they had to be imprisoned in Abashiri lol) or after he joined Hijikata Toshizou. Both options come down to Kadokura getting into some kind of trouble like make another lunatic mad at him and his future best friend, or simply bumping into them on the street, scattering all of the goods they just bought on the road. Kadokura gets under the horse's hooves in an attempt to collect them. Now he needs medical help. Please, help this poor man.

Never initiates anything but if you offer to hang out Kadokura will be down. Again, hanging out with him is a double-edged sword: you may end up in the maelstrom of events that will leave you with a shit ton of crazy stories for grandkids or you may fall onto the ground and lie like a stone telling each other the dumbest puns. Both are good, in my opinion, just be aware of the possibilities.

There are moments when he can't stop complaining about life. Usually, it happens over a shot of sake when Kadokura’s cheeks crimson, long sighs substitute commas in between of lamentations, and the atmosphere becomes more intimate. The prisoners are, of course, very attentive listeners, but you will not get any emotional feedback from them. With freshly made best friend, Kadokura tends to overshare and then profusely apologize for that.

Just like with Hijikata Toshizou, he will stick his neck out for them but won’t expect the same in return. To the point where if he was forced to choose between saving either Hijikata or his best friend, Kadokura will have to commit die instead.

 C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Enjoys being cuddled more than he originally thought. For the first time in a while, his palms are sweating, butterflies are swarming in the stomach, so gentle touch feels almost dazing: Kadokura may even flinch in surprise when they start nuzzling on his shoulder like a cat. Later he finally convinces himself to ease off enough to pull them into an unescapable hug, fall together on the ground and fool around or pull them on his lap and plant few kisses on their cute nose. Doesn’t like spooning because every time he is big spoon three is no way he can keep hands to himself. The temptation is too great, and Kadokura doesn’t even try to resist it.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Why this question?. Who even dreams of a nasty cozy home? Of the disgusting overwhelming feeling of safety with the love of one’s life? Waking up and falling asleep together, sharing all good and bad from day to day? HORRIBLETERRIBLEAWFUL sign Kadokura up. Of course, he wants to settle down. The desire to have a family nest has been growing in his heart for years but until now there was no person to share this dream with. He brings up the idea of living together as soon as it seems more or less appropriate and flies over the moon (at the speed of light) when his partner supports it. Good at cooking but sucks at cleaning.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Classical breakup with “It’s not you, it’s me” line in it. Kadokura will not break up with his partner until all possible methods of saving relationships have been tried out: this is one of the most difficult decisions in his life ever and fucking up something that can be saved would be idiotic. He has doubts until the last second of course. Scratching the back of his head awkwardly and dejectedly avoiding their gaze, Kadokura tries to get to the point but his speech is interrupted by endless ummms and ughs. In the end, he feels as awful as they do, guilty and somewhat ashamed, so after making sure they are not going to do anything stupid, Kadokura flees.

There is not a lot to say besides that Kadokura clearly understands how hard it is to be left (and usually that’s how breakup feels like you were left on the side of the road) so he tries to be delicate. Checks up on them from time to time by sending long letters with detailed descriptions of his misadventures.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He is no longer at an age when postponing a wedding is almost a matter of course but, at the same time, Kadokura is held back by the fear that this marriage will end like a previous one. Is he legally divorced at all?... Anyway, Kadokura is torn between proposing on the first anniversary and waiting an unknown amount of time until they bring up this question. Dreams of a small wedding with one or two guests from both sides so they are not obligated to be too serious and constrained with traditions. Kirawus has to be one of the guests, he cries at the sight of happy butthole peeker Kadokura.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Ayyy, he is the type of man who lets his hand go numb but won’t move it to not disturb his loved one’s sleep. Kadokura is way more gentle than any of the ex-soldiers, both physically and emotionally but his attempts to show it often come off as kind of awkward and malapropos. Do not let it upset you: Kadokura is a master in turning everything into a good joke and laughing at small inconveniences. He is the one to apologize first after the big argument, the one to offer a big hug after a bad day, the one to sit beside and listen to the emotional rent without giving even one unnecessary comment.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Whenever his loved one wants, Kadokura will be there with arms outstretched to the sides, ready to give them the tightest hugs. He likes to gently rub their back at the same time or nuzzle against their neck but is hesitant if there are any onlookers.

In family life, he has no problem with randomly running up to his loved one for a hug. Really, Kadokura is a sucker for unexpected back hugs where he can put hands on the partner’s waist and press them into his body, deliberately distracting them from housework.

You can easily tell Kadokura is having a rough day when he slips from usually coveted embraces: it is an unconscious trick to fish out a double portion of physical affection from his loved one.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Pretty fast compared to others. Half of the year, maybe? It has to be obvious you love a person by that time or so Kadokura thinks. He is not afraid to be misunderstood since by the time confession is ready to slip from his tongue, Kadokura already has planned a whole paragraph ahead of all questions: if they are not ready to say it back that’s fine, if they don’t feel the same right now or in general that’s fine if they need space to think about that’s fine. Everything is fine with Kadokura, he just wants to convey the idea that they are irreplaceable and make him feel like no one did before.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

A definition of confusion in all scenarios since he can’t clearly understand his own emotions. Is it a disappointment? If it is anger, it’s greatly diminished by a feeling of worthlessness. If they are being hit on, Kadokura sees himself as a rather weak opponent but picks himself up and stands next to a partner, gently taking them by the hand, and asks them if everything is alright. If the rival is excessively pushy, Kadokura will let out a heavy sigh before getting into a fight because no way he will let any bastard hurt his loved one. Needs to be patched up after the fight. Can’t stop smiling like a fool when they wipe the blood abundantly oozing from a broken nose. It’s good for his ego.

If they decided to flirt with anyone, Kadokura chokes on his own saliva. Like. What. This is so humiliating. He wants the ground open to swallow him up, along with all his stupid feelings for them, which, apparently, mean nothing. Needs a lot of space to cool down and has a hard time confronting them about the situation. Kadokura is more comfortable with repressing this unpleasant memory than sorting things out.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

With Kadokura every kiss is just like the first one in the best sense of the word: his kisses are gentle, warm, not too sloppy, not too dry, not priestly prude, and not teenagerly aggressive. Although he has a funny (or annoying, it is not for everyone) habit: sometimes he decides to smooch them in the middle of talking just because. If they scold him for that he just laughs it off and plants a hundred more kisses on their poppy-red face.

Loves to kiss his partner on temples and lips but, honestly, as long as it’s them Kadokura will kiss them whenever, from the top of the head to the tip of their pinky toes, literally. Prefers to be kissed on the lips too but also on the neck, chest, and belly.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

First of all, Kadokura loves children with his whole heart. Second of all, kids love Kadokura like no other babysitter. Put them together in one room and watch them vibe. Honestly, he is naturally good around little ones, it looks like he was born with a talent to keep up with those fidgets. If his child is struggling with any school subject, Kadokura will spend the evening with them, helping them to understand a difficult concept. Even if he doesn’t understand it himself, nothing can stop Kadokura from dive into books, teach himself, and then explain learned stuff to kids. Absolutely amusing when he babytalks. Wants three or four children but still has a fear of being a bad father (unreasonably!).

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Lazy as mornings can be. No one hurries to jump out of the bed to get down to business, and the house stays silent until late noon. After waking up, Kadokura languidly sits up in the sheets, yawns, and curls up back to his partner, spending another few hours snoozing in their warmth.

Eh, it feels like Kadokura is the type of person that is awfully quiet in the morning. It is easier for him to convey his thought with gestures than to start moving his tongue. Well, except when it comes to kisses. He doesn't mind spending some energy on that.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are calm and cozy. They are pretty much normal, usually spent at home since it is nearly impossible to drag Kadokura anywhere after 6 p.m. On especially good days, he can surprise his partner with simple but delicious food: unusual gourmet dishes of the Michelin 3-star restaurant level aren’t his forte but miso soup made with unconditional love is definitely his signature dish.

Fond of playing games with his loved one despite losing 9 times out of 10. They have lost more than five dices already but Kadokura keeps buying new sets, of higher quality and higher price. After the game is finished, Kadokura or his partner thinks up a challenge for the loser like cook for a week or call the winner one specific word for a day so they can have more fun.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

 They have to become his friend before Kadokura starts to reveal more info than the one that is known to everyone in the area. By the way, a good indicator of closeness is the ability to laugh together: look at his relationship with Kirawus, that is just the right level to open up. Takes things slowly, expects another person to share as much as he does. Kadokura is very particular when it comes to the innermost and knows how to keep secrets, so he makes it clear from the very beginning it’s okay to speak their mind, ask for advice, etc. As stated before, tends to overshare after having too much sake.

 P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

The patient isn’t the right word, resigned is. There is nothing in this world that can surprise him: Kadokura had to deal with the most terrible scumbags imaginable, serve as bait for a killer (and face another person who wanted his death even more than the aforementioned killer!), freeze his ass off while standing on the thin ice with a knife between his rimed buttocks. Like, the peak of life’s evil tomfoolery is reached. Kadokura is prepared to face anything and everything and is relieved every time it’s not a near-death experience or bloodthirsty wild animal.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

It depends on how stars align on each separate day. Today he remembers 99,9% of what his loved one said and the next day not a single word reaches his brain cells. Kadokura is way more focused on feelings and emotions he experiences together with his partner so it is not uncommon for him to remember they were uncontrollably laughing but were cold than that they fell in the river because he was rocking the boat. It works the same with negative emotions: Kadokura somehow feels he should lock the dog even though he has no clear memory that his loved one is afraid of them. Why did I do it? I don’t know, gut’s feeling.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

A first kiss for sure! After a long lull in personal life, the first kiss with a new person awakens a whole storm of emotions in him. Kadokura feels like he is eighteen again, he just crossed the doorstep of adulthood and discovered the delight of the first relationship. This joy is enough to take away his speech for a minute: months later this moment makes him wince in disbelief of how silly he must have looked with eyes wide-opened and jaw hanging low. After that, he still had the courage to ask “oh so does it mean we are the thing now? Like the real thing?”. No, Kadokura spent the next week wondering if this was a feverish dream despite given a positive answer.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Do you want to live? Run then! Use the Joseph Joestar’s famous plan and strategically retreat because his brain needs some time to come up with a plan. Kadokura obviously wants to keep his loved one safe and sound, who doesn’t, but it is not that easy. He gives them a gun or knife to protect themself in the moment of danger since, chances are, Kadokura himself will be in even deeper troubles, millimeters away from swiftly bayonet sending him straight to heaven.

Relies mostly on keeping them as far from the battle scene as possible. Even if they handle a gun better than he does, Kadokura actively protests in every possible way and convinces them to stay somewhere safe: he knows for sure if they get injured, he will be the one to blame, and if something irreversible happens, he won’t be live on without a heavy burden of guilt.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Despite the lack of ample opportunities to show his love inexpensive or exquisite ways, Kadokura tries his best to impress his loved one. He is ready to change himself and change his life as well to be worthy of their company. A little more effort to get out of bed and shave this mess off the neck, even more effort to buy a new suit for their dinner date out, every drop of effort to accept his awkwardness and let things go with the flow. Anniversaries are treated the same way: if possible, in summer Kadokura will plan a trip to the South coast where they can enjoy loneliness together to the sound of waves breaking on the rocky shore. In winter, he will certainly try to create an extra festive and cozy atmosphere at home, cooking their favorite food, and making an excessive amount of tea. We are talking about the level at which the kettle is never empty. Relatively diligent in the everyday task but no powers in the world will force him to clean up like a normal man.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

“A wilted, uninspired middle-aged dude” he is, and it affects how Kadokura perceives himself more than you think. In turn, this perception seeps into his life as self-doubt, self-deprecating jokes, and hesitation in making important decisions. At the same time, if you point out this flaw to him, Kadokura will sulk. You would think he has to know better but no.

Unmotivated and has a hard time opening up to new experiences like learning new skills or finding new hobbies. Not as much as Kikuta, but Kadokura also has a habit of doing as he did twenty years ago even if the consequences did not live up to expectations. He sees a rake that WILL hit him on the forehead and JUMPS on it anyway.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Earlier in the days when grass was greener and the sky was bluer, Kadokura put more thought into his appearance but over time it changed. With the current state of the world, he doesn’t bother to waste his time fixing his hair every hour and blow the dust off his shoes. His uniform is in a relatively ok condition, with few patches here and there, three-day stubble often overgrows in one-week stubble, and bags under the eyes give him a shabby look but there is a charm in it.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Some people try too hard to hide the fact they are hurt while going through a bad breakup and he is one of them. Days seem endlessly long and gloomy, Kadokura performs given tasks only because it is expected from him, he stops playing cards with Kirawus and doesn’t bat an eyelid when ainu bugs him. Absent-mindedness leads Kadokura straight into new problems but none of them is enough to shake him up. He is… sad. Simply as that. Not heartbroken, not sorrowful. It is an empty sadness that leaves you painfully numb without a stingy tear to shed. To make it even worse, after the breakup Kadokura persistently seeks their company again and again for reasons he can’t explain. Maybe, it is desensitization: the more he sees them as an outsider, the easier he takes it. Shortly after, he will try to find the trace of his ex-wife and daughter, reunite with them if… they want to, you know. They might start a new life while he was nodding off in the workplace.

If they have been killed, Kadokura will live on, faithfully serving Hijikata. He refuses to talk about them at all, brushing off offered emotional support. Still, he was born under an unlucky star and nothing can be done about it: it is something he has to come to terms with.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Let's forget the canon for a second and pretend that Kadokura has a sister or a brother who, in turn, has a child. So my headcanon is that he is a cool uncle. The one who gives kids life advice in the form of a funny parable, pretends he doesn’t hear them sneaking out in the night, puts more money in an envelope so they can save some up for cool stuff. His lifehacks are actually useful even though sometimes questionable… The one who doesn’t have to try to fit in with the new-gen because he got it already.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

There is only one specific thing that comes to mind since Kadokura is too chill and it seems he can deal with almost everything.

People with excessive energy. We are not talking about the literal ray of sunshine type of person that beams with energy but rather about people who are active and need other people to match them. They need strong feedback from another person to feel validated and not to fall into the depression abyss and Kadokura is not a person to match this description. He is not about running around 24/7 enthusiastically grimacing at every little thing. It's exhausting. It is annoying. Kadokura’s social battery runs out on their second sentence so he prefers to avoid such Duracell bunnies at all costs.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Just like Kikuta has a specific ritual before going to bed. Jailer's work taught Kadokura to pay more attention to the security of the house so he can’t fall asleep without checking all the doors. This habit has nothing to do with obsessive-compulsive disorder, it is what it is. Besides it, Kadokura gives his partner a goodnight kiss on the temple because what if he wakes up and they are not here or what if he won’t have any other chance to do it. This one doesn’t change even if Kadokura is stressed the f out: he may be red from the anger but he will lean down and smooch them to remind how much they mean to him.

[miraculouscontent]

Askplosion #11:

(note that I know I mentioned a “Voiced Askplosion” last time in the tags for anyone who put a 🎤 in their ask, meaning they wanted to hear me respond verbally to it, but I only got one and it wasn’t anything serious - just a tease from someone I know - so I either won’t be doing it at all or will be holding off)

Asks responding to previous posts:

ALYA NO!!!

(the idea of Sabrina avoiding not only Ms. Mendeleiev, but also Alya, is very amusing to me)

The fact that the special focuses on the love square instead of Sabrina and Delmar is a crime.

(also note that “Need some help?” is rhetorical in this context; Alya doesn’t care)

Highly recommended, honestly, otherwise it just turns into a big shame because there are shows I really like but with some content that I don’t like, and why torture myself with it when I can cut it out instead?

Just to give a rough idea, here’s my cut of “Desperada”; mind you, this is just my quick cut of it (basically a “beta” version where I just removed everything I disliked without much care for transitioning/having everything make sense; some of Marinette’s friends talking, the guitar scene, Aspik, etcetera), as I’m not comfortable handing over my “perfect” cut of it since it’s like my personal copy.

Yeah, that’s a super awkward scene. As much as I’d like to imagine that Adrien just doesn’t understand the “guy time” thing (which I still hate), the fact that they use the word “guy” specifically is--ugh.

I wasn’t aware of what he said in the French dub, so thanks! It’s really painful to see her throw so much love his way, openly and publicly and obviously, then be so humiliated for it, only for Adrien to feel nothing for her.

Say whatever you want about Chat Noir’s advances and how sAAAAAAD he is when she rejects him, but her rejections are just that; in private. There aren’t other heroes who are around and Chat is never really humiliated. Even in “Prime Queen,” Chat wasn’t the target - Ladybug was, and then Ladybug shifted it to Nadja - so Marinette is the one taking all the heat in love while Chat gets to sit on the sidelines (plus, then “Oblivio” happened and now people probably all thing they’re a thing).

Yeah! That’s the group I was thinking of!

Thank you!

I’m so sorry that happened. ;—;

I’m not aro but I am ace and I’ve gotten the whole, “oh it’s just because--” stuff before, so I know what it feels like to have people put on the pressure/invalidate you.

YES.

IT’S GORGEOUS.

I’m not really familiar with how holidays are celebrated outside of the bare basics of Christmas/New Year (which I am trying my hardest to forget lol), so I couldn’t say.

Sorry!

New Asks:

10/10 thought, would fantasize again.

Though would also accept MC Audrey just doing some “spring cleaning” of the whole staff in general. I have no idea how she’d replace Jeremy since he’s the company’s poster boy but most of the writers have to go at the very least and Jeremy should be given less power.

I think MC Audrey would appreciate how Kagami carries herself, though potential bonus if - while Tom and Sabine just openly trust whatever Marinette wants - Audrey does a bunch of digging to make sure Kagami is “worthy” of being with Marinette (she takes this all very seriously).

Double potential bonus if Kagami takes it just as seriously, so here’s Audrey and Kagami acting as if Kagami dating Marinette is like some sort of job interview.

Kagami handing over a “resume” of her accomplishments to Audrey. Audrey has already looked all of it up herself but appreciates the effort put in.

If the question in Miraculous is, “Do we really need a--” and the thing being introduced is something the staff came up with then the answer is usually “no.”

The movie will look pretty and that’s all I’ll expect. It’s just Jeremy’s take on Miraculous. Luka and Kagami probably won’t even be around so I’m not even interested.

I’ll watch it, but I’m also not interested lol.

Honestly, I’d rather turn into bubble froth.

oddly specific but... I mean, damn

I have no idea, and I try not to throw around words like “spite ship” because I know people could genuinely like the ship, though I will say that I went on AO3 and - unless I read from - the first Maribat fanfiction on there was posted after the airdate of “Chameleon.” I think it might’ve started with inspiration from “Marinette moves schools” ideas at the very least.

Non-Miraculous Asks responding to previous posts:

Oh, I understood, no worries! It was just funny for the split second it took me to figure it out.

My bad, that’s not how I meant to come off (especially since “magical girl shows” is a little broad; I mean, obviously I don’t think something like Cardcaptor Sakura is aiming for fanservice when Sakura’s--like... ten). I answered all those asks in the last askplosion in the same day so my brain was a little fried by the time I got to that ask.

I’m not even talking about Sailor Moon either; it’s just that I knew there are shows with fanservice and there are certain magical girl outfits where I kind of give the side-eye.

Absolutely zero problem with girls fighting in pretty outfits though. I fully admit that I’m a bit of a prude so sometimes I see fanservice where there might not be any. Super short skirts without shorts, for example, inherently throw me off (shout-out to Saint Tail - which I discovered while looking up “pretty magical girl outfits” - because the main character does have a skirt in “magical girl” form but also tights/boots and a cute hat, which is one of the more unique ones I’ve seen).

Non-Miraculous Asks:

Do you mean Sailor Moon Crystal? Yeah, the only reason I hesitate on Sailor Moon in general is because I’m not crazy about the transformed designs. It’s not really a matter of animation but more a design choice that takes me out of the experience.

I have seen all of Cardcaptor Sakura anime though, and then all of the Clear Card arc. I like the former, despise the latter, and I tried to keep up with the manga but once one of the big plot details were revealed, I officially dropped it.

As for Revolutionary Girl Utena, I looked it up a while ago and don’t remember what exactly turned me away. It might’ve been the darker tone though if what you say is accurate that it’s a darker take on a magical girl show.

Also, I may or may not have looked up the ending of at least Princess Tutu and I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s a great anime, but if there isn’t a happy ending then I give whatever anime a hard pass.

(note: yes, I realize the hilarity of saying that when I continue watching Miraculous)

-

(More Madoka Magica talk/salt below!)

Ohhh, it started a trend? I had no idea since I don’t actively keep up with every anime out there; descriptions need to really pull me in (the only current anime I’m keeping up with is Hanyou no Yashahime, Otherside Picnic, and Cells at Work (Season 2)).

The focus on specific--uh--body parts in magical girl transformations also reminds me that I think that’s usually what kills it for me, not because of the sexualization but because I expect transformations (especially ones that get repeated over and over) to be really dynamic with changing angles and such, which is harder to do when the camera is trying to draw focus to specific places.

Obviously you have to do it for some moments (I’ve always imagined Miraculous transformations like a potential sheep or another one for rabbit, then rabbit!Jean from Leave for Mendeleiev and fox!Juleka from LadyBugOut) because things will be weird if you focus on nothing, but I think there are ways to draw the eye without trying to sexualize.

Not having Ladybug-esque bodysuits is a good start. It reminds me too much of the Catwoman with just a bodysuit so it leaves nothing to the imagination.

How did I forget about that Sayaka scene? omg (though I dunno if the Bechdel Test is hard to pass if there aren’t really any endgame male love interests? are there rules about that? not saying a pass isn’t a pass but it feels like cheating)

It is nice when fans can respect the opinions of others without having to outright attack. I have had a few people come to me with, “I see your point/respect it even if I disagree,” instead of accusing me/others of--well, you get it.

Fandoms can be really messy, particularly as they get larger. I think there’s a certain balance between small fandoms that all know each other and a big fandom that’s out of control. Then there are things like “loud minority” and it’s just uggggh.

Anyway, back to the asks themselves, yeah, I’m not crazy about taking things that are just meant to be positive/cute/whatever and being like, “OKAY BUT WHAT IF IT WAS EDGY AND SAD.”

n o ,  p l z

Oh, I’ve never heard of that one!

Sayaka dying didn’t really do anything for me either. It’s hard to explain when I saw it so long ago, but it was just Sayaka’s attitude about the whole thing and it made it feel underwhelming. It was a shame too because I liked her and she had potential.

She was Madoka’s friend so I was just like, “Yeah, she’ll die soon.” Probably didn’t help since I knew what I knew about the show being “dark.”

Madoka/Sayaka is probably what I’d support the most out of all the potential shoujo ai ships. To my knowledge, none of them are really canon, though I remember a special song after the death Sayaka and Kyoko which I guess makes them the most canon and that did basically nothing for me since their relationship didn’t interest me (nor did I care for Kyoko as a character). The PSP game might have more intimate potential between the girls, but I never played them so I can’t make those claims (I only remember something about everyone potentially living and then a bad ending for Sayaka where part of her body was decayed when they didn’t get her soul gem back in time).

The tomboy argument makes me think back to a conversation with a friend of mine where we were discussing tomboys in anime and... we couldn’t really think of any? At least any that really qualify as “tomboy” for me.

Like, Misty from Pokemon, for example. I knoooooow everyone really likes Misty, but regardless of my opinion on her, it’s hard to see her as a tomboy.

I feel like they try to lean that way by making her super aggressive and violent (because... m E N) and I think Ash makes a comment once about her not being “like a girl,” but... I feel like that’s just how general “aggressive” female characters are written?

I mean, that’s tsundere female characters I’ve seen in general. Really loud (and not in a “gIrlS aRe sO lOuD aND ScReEcHY” way but like... the way anime gives them big heads while they scream at whatever male character they’re mad at), angry a lot, short fuse, etcetera.

But Misty is still crazy about clothes and dolls, she still gushes about cute things and romance, and both of those things seem pretty indicative of what “standard girl character” would be defined by, since they’re all “stereotypically girl thing” (I say stereotypically for obvious reasons since boys can like blah and girls can like blah and gender exclusivity is blah--). I get that she dresses differently, but that’s about it, and it comes off like, “she dresses differently and she’s ANGRY and VIOLENT, so she’s a tomboy,” which... yeah. They even gave her three beauty queen sisters with CURVES and BUSTS as if to say, “See?? These are GIRLS, not TOMBOYS.” (busty females can exist who are also tomboys, thank you have a nice day).

This becomes more complicated in magical girl anime since girly clothes are usually part of that so “tomboy” means that frills and skirts probably wouldn’t be a factor.

I mean, if you gave those sorts of outfits to me, I’d be like, “SCREW IT, I’M NOT A MAGICAL GIRL ANYMORE. IF LOOKING PRETTY IS REDUCED TO SKIRTS AND FRILLS, SOMEONE ELSE CAN SAVE THE WORLD.”

I’d also like to see some mixes between personalites and “tomboy” things. Like, non-stereotypical tomboy personalities doing tomboy things. Mix and match, y’know?

This was really rambly, but to answer the question... no, I wouldn’t count Sayaka as a tomboy.

All of this.

I think it also exemplifies the whole “dark and edgy magical girl show” thing because... ugh, how do I put this...

The “girls are overly emotional” thing is already bad, but then you realize that there not being any magical boys is also because that doesn’t hit the “shock value” threshold as much.

Y’know, because boys equal dark and edgy shows, so if there was even one magical boy it wouldn’t be as shocking when Mami gets her head chomped. They could’ve done, “emotional teenagers are the target because they’re in that vulnerable stage; smarter and more physically capable than children, but not as mature/stable as adults,” but having some boys in there for balance (it makes me feel weird saying that when I’m all for girl power shows with an all female cast, but in this show’s logic, it’s a different ball game) would make the show seem less bright and “girly” and thus lessen the shock value.

Does that make sense?

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

frENEMIES, pt. 3 {Quarterback AU}

Summary: Locked in the supply closet together, the pair actually manages to resolve some of their issues but new ones arise when they realize the other side of hate is love and while one is willing to accept to cross the fine line, the other one will run scared.

Warnings: angst, swearing, panic attack, sexual innuendos and talk of sex

Part 1   Part 2

"Just stay with me tonight. Okay?" Grayson takes her hand, gingerly pulling her closer and while he wishes he could ignore the turmoil in her eyes, the hesitation in every inch of distance she closed between them, he can't help but wonder if she'll ever stop hating him.

After the past 24 hours they had, he hoped she would find a way. He just wants a chance, a fighting chance to show her he isn't the idiot, dumb jock she sees him as. He can't exactly deny the playboy accusation, but the rest of it wasn't very fair to him. At least he saw it like that.

"I feel like this is a slippery slope. I stay tonight and we...what? Have sex? Maybe just cuddle? Or talk? Next thing I know, you'll catch feelings and I don't really see how that would be good for either of us." Biting her lower lip, she grabbed a fistful of his shirt, not in a violent or sexual way, just as a way to ground herself, to find a footing in the insanity of her actually considering willingly being around the man she hated for years. And her hate wasn't unfounded.

"Don't worry, my sneaky little princess. That's not going to happen. At least not to me, but I can't promise anything on your behalf. I'm quite the charmer, ya know?" Chuckling as she pushed him back with all her might, Grayson lands on the bed with a throaty laugh she found quite pleasant. However, when Grayson told her nothing of the sort would happen, he forgot to mention it's because it's too late, at least for him it is - he already caught feelings.

How this came to be, you may ask? Last time we left these two, love was the last thing on their mind...at least for Y/N.

Well, it all started with a push from a very bald Ethan who decided to lock the frENEMIES in a room.

"Seriously?!" Y/N pounded on the door as she realized she's stuck and the only reason why that happened is because she wanted to make amends with Ethan and Amina. That's what happens when you're trying to be nice.

Ever had a big fight with your best friend and actually have them be right but you just won't admit it? Y/N sure as hell found herself in a lot of trouble with her best friend when Ethan got caught in the crossfire and while she apologized to Ethan, profusely, Amina was just done with her. It hurt when she chose to side against her even before the incident that left her boyfriend without hair. Isn't your best friend supposed to have your back?

Ethan forgave her, or so she thought before he gave her and Grayson a push before locking them up in the supply room on campus and while Y/N pounded on the door, she realized she was doing that all on her own. She figured the ostentatious, loud quarterback would be breaking the door down by now and yet she found no resistance on his behalf...just silence.

Frowning, she turned to the unusually quiet Grayson only to find him in the corner of the room, eyes wide open, heaving.

"Dude, you good?" She really didn't want to come closer and check but when he shook his head no, she felt her heart start pounding. The last thing she needed is him having an asthma attack now, because he might think she didn’t notice, but she saw him hiding the inhaler in his bag after taking a few puffs and while she didn’t understand why he’s ashamed of that, she didn’t say anything. Just as he’s hiding his dyslexia, something she didn’t know about until the dinner they were forced to have and he stared at the menu as if it was in a foreign language before asking his brother in their ridiculous twin language what to order. 

"Why? What's happening right now?" Carefully, she approached him because he seemed freaked out as it is and she had no idea how he might react to her in this moment.

"Not a fan...of closed spaces." Managing to explain through a few quick breaths, he had closed his arms around his folded knees and for the first time in forever, she saw Grayson fucking Dolan isn't invincible. She’s become all too aware of that.

"Oh." She let nothing else pass her lips as she sat right before him, chewing her bottom lip with her eyebrows furrowed and her nose crinkled as she pondered what she could do to help him. If a man as big as him freaks out in such a small room, she might not be quite safe. Would he ever hurt her?

"Why is football so important to you?" And that's when she spoke up, this time with a question she hoped would help keep his mind occupied, derailing the possible panic attack he seems to be facing. She knew all about panic attacks for they've tormented her since she was eighteen. She knew he feels vulnerable and terrified and she wanted to give him a chance to talk about what he loves, is confident in and is also passionately involved in. It’s not something she talks about, just as he doesn’t talk about his asthma and dyslexia. 

"Huh?" Grayson looks at her, his lips quivering, his chest hurting and his heart hammering against his cheat and he couldn't believe he was breaking in front of the girl that hates him more than anyone ever has and he could already see her using this against him.

"Tell me. I want to understand." But there is no malice in her voice and the way she looks at him is...merciful. She's never been this nice to him and for a moment, he can't help but wonder why. Why would she care?

"Please." The softness in her tone is enough to make him trust her. Maybe it's because he wanted to trust her with all his heart regardless, but he found himself speaking to her about what he never talked about to any girl...only to very few people in his life that mostly included his family.

"My dad. It was sort of our thing. He was the most supportive...It....Playing football makes me feel closer to him. I guess I just want to make him proud. Besides, I love the attention. I do. I love when they cheer for me, when they pat me on the back after a win and most of all, I love how powerful I feel on the field." Rubbing his chin absentmindedly, he flashed her a smile, the cocky one she usually saw on his face and it lifted a weight off her chest she felt ever since she saw the great quarterback cradling himself in a state of sheer panic.

It almost breaks her heart to see him that way, because having your mind and body betray you like that is an indescribable feeling to know you can't trust yourself anymore. Despite all the voices in he read screaming at her not to, she reaches out, placing her hand over his so tenderly he thought he imagined her touch.

"Awe, you actually care!" Grayson cooed teasingly and she rolls her eyes, scooting away from him a little, taking her hand with her.

"Bite me, quarterback." And while they were definitely having a moment, he couldn't help but wonder if he could use this time to learn why she really hates him.

"Ooh, kinky! Where?" Winking at her, Grayson purses his lips and her exasperation is evident but he can't let her leave without at least some truth being revealed.

"So, I have a question." He says with a small smile and she raises an eyebrow at him, her left eye narrowing ever so slightly at him.

"I don't care." Sassing back, she turns her body away from him, trying to hide from his over-analyzing stare. His eyes, the way he looks at her always makes her feel naked. It's intense and it's unveiling and frustration and she didn't want any of it right now. She’s always had trouble with emotional connections and anyone getting too close made her nervous and Grayson particularly made her want to run away screaming.

"You asked one question, I get to ask one too. So...why do you hate me? I mean, I can't even understand what I did to you that's so bad...except for the eyebrows sophomore year BUT it was an accident and I apologized to you at least a hundred times." Looking over at him, her glare is clearly showing his jokes are not entertaining and she's had enough but if it means he'll shut up, she'll tell him.

"You stole my first kiss without even asking me the first time we met." She states through gritted teeth and the horror and confusion on his face is baffling to her. "Don't pretend otherwise. We were talking and I actually liked you before you thought it would be okay to just kiss me out of the blue before running off to puke in the bathroom."

"I SWEAR I", he was going to say he doesn't remember but it all sounded too familiar and he...well, he thought he dreamt that.

"Oh, God! I'm sorry! I was drunk off my ass that night and it was the first and last time I got drunk. I swear I thought I dreamed it. I really am an asshole." Running his hands through his luscious locks, Grayson hid his face as he wondered how the fuck did he forget about kissing Y/N fucking Y/L/N.

"Then there's the time you told Mike I was a snake and to stay away from me." She continues but he was shocked there's more than one reason and while he does remember doing this, she took it out of context.

"You got that all wrong. Mike was bragging around, saying he banged you and I was telling him he's a snake and I'd break his jaw if he keeps talking shit about you. He wasn't the guy for you. He just wasn't and I'm not sorry for that. I just wish you talked to me before assuming the worst of me." Leaning back against the wall, Grayson held her gaze fiercely. This was no time for weakness, he had to be brave and face her and make things better. It's been years and he...well, he's always had a thing for her.

One night stands were fun, but no girl ever challenged him nor intrigued him like her. She was so unapologetically herself, so beautiful even without trying and her mind works in such interesting ways that he was always in awe of her opinions, of her writing, of the way she sees the world.

"Alright...then how about when you conditioned the university to take Ethan on a full football scholarship or you wouldn't be going here? Did you ever wonder who you cost their lifelong dream? Because I know the guy who lost his spot and now he works at a gas station. And he deserved a lot better."

That was unexpected to say the least. If he were completely honest, it never crossed his mind someone might get cut when he insisted Ethan be accepted with him. Mostly because it was the only way for them to stay together and to be close to their dad in his final years.

"I didn't. I didn't think, I just felt. And it was wrong. I know that. But it also gave me and my brother a few more years with our dad and I'm sorry your friend got screwed over but I can't be sorry about why I did it. Just that I did it." Swallowing thickly, he watched her nibble on the lower left corner of her lips, her eyes falling to the ground and he could see the wheels in her head turning. She's overthinking, probably conflicted with what he told her and while it's not right, he knows she understands it.

"There were a bunch of pranks there as well, but these were the major reasons." She finishes, her eyes still fixed on the floor, unblinking and with a deep breath, Grayson moved closer to her.

"I'm really fucking sorry for hurting you, but I never meant to do any of those things. I just want to be your friend."

Chuckling, she finally blinks and looks up at him with more light in her eyes than he ever saw her looks at anyone but Amina with.

"Riight."

"I won't lie, I'm attracted to you, but I'd settle for friendship for now." Risking it, he places a hand on her back, craning his neck so he'd be in her line of sight for she turned her head away from him as soon as he started speaking, but she didn't fight his touch and that was encouraging enough.

"How about we make a little bet? Start this friendship right? Like...come to my next game and if we win, I get to ask anything of you. If we lose, you can ask me never to talk to you and I'll oblige. Is that good?" Expecting her to refuse, drowning in all the things he wants to tell her but he can't not yet.

He can't tell her he saw how her style evolved from wearing all black to actually having a colorful wardrobe. He saw the ring she ways wears on her right index finger and how she twirls it nervously before every exam or how she hates high heels but would still wear them to parties only to take them off an hour in. He saw how she struggled with her back in the second semester of freshman year, right after she fell on ice on the first day after the holidays. He knows she can't take a compliment but appreciates them, how she gets so involved with every book she reads that she makes the most beautiful faces when something interesting happens - she laughs, she cries, she loves the characters and after every book, it takes her a few days to remind herself it's all fictional, to say goodbye before finding a new book to obsess about. He also knows she has a waterfall as the background on her phone and that she wants nothing more than to visit Bali and Australia. He knows so much, yet so little and a from just observing her when she thought no one cared.

Grayson cared and he still does. He can't imagine a day he doesn't.

"Sure. Why not."

And as she agreed, the door opened and there was nothing better than the fresh air in their lungs after being stuck in there for what felt like forever.

However, Grayson won that game the next day and Y/N found herself actually cheering him on from the stands. It was definitely a new experience, but she didn't care. She didn't want to hate him anymore. It's exhausting to hate a guy who seems to be so painfully human that it's inspiring. There's nothing wrong in being human, in making mistakes and she decided to let go of his. As hard as it is, she had to. She couldn’t hate him forever, not when she knew his reasons and when she knows her friend had other choices and he gambled them all on his own.

"You really asked me to come to your room like that's not weird at all." She folds her arms over her chest and she can't help but be surprised with how tidy it is or the smell of wildflowers that fills her nostrils, she actually never imagined this is how his room would be. And she definitely didn't expect a keyboard in his room. He was full of surprises, the good kind.

"Just stay with me tonight. Okay?" Grayson takes her hand, gingerly pulling her closer and while he wishes he could ignore the turmoil in her eyes, the hesitation in every inch of distance she closed between them, he can't help but wonder if she'll ever stop hating him.

After the past 24 hours they had, he hoped she would find a way. He just wants a chance, a fighting chance to show her he isn't the idiot, dumb jock she sees him as. He can't exactly deny the playboy accusation, but the rest of it wasn't very fair to him. At least he saw it like that.

"I feel like this is a slippery slope. I stay tonight and we...what? Have sex? Maybe just cuddle? Or talk? Next thing I know, you'll catch feelings and I don't really see how that would be good for either of us." Biting her lower lip, she grabbed a fistful of his shirt, not in a violent or sexual way, just as a way to ground herself, to find a footing in the insanity of her actually considering willingly being around the man she hated for years. And her hate wasn't unfounded.

"Don't worry, my sneaky little princess. That's not going to happen. At least not to me, but I can't promise anything on your behalf. I'm quite the charmer, ya know?" Chuckling as she pushed him back with all her might, Grayson lands on the bed with a throaty laugh she found quite pleasant. However, when Grayson told her nothing of the sort would happen, he forgot to mention it's because it's too late, at least for him it is - he already caught feelings.

"Seriously, what exactly am I doing here, quarterback? Expecting to get lucky?" She couldn't shake it though, that annoying feeling it was more than she could imagine. The way he is around her is just...disarming and equally alarming. She can't get too close. She just can't love him. Grayson Dolan is a womanizer and she'd be damned if she gives a man like him her heart.

She’s never loved anyone and she didn’t want her first love to be a guaranteed heartbreak. She wasn’t a part of the hookup culture, she didn’t know how to function in that world and she refused to learn. And while Grayson might have good intentions, he’d be onto the next one in the month. It’s all fun and games when they’re just flirting and annoying each other, but to actually involve her heart? It terrified her, pushed her body on an invisible ledge she didn’t want to jump from. 

"Do you really think I brought you here for sex? I mean...I don't want to be presumptuous, but why would you come here if you think that's the reason why? Do you want to have sex?" Sitting up with the notion that this is a more serious conversation, Grayson quickly took a look at her and she was fidgeting, nervous as if...as if she never had sex.

"No. I just...I don't know, I'm not exactly the type that does this." Raising both his eyebrows, he realized he is right. His little devil is actually an angel. A fallen angel like Lucifer, but an angel nonetheless.

"I didn't bring you here for sex. I just wanted us to talk and...actually sleep next to each other. I can sleep on the floor if you want me to." As sweet as it is, she still couldn't relax. A man like him didn't seem quite content with nothing happening and she...well, she never slept next to a man before let alone more.

Overthinking took over and she found it harder and harder to breathe as her heart picked up speed and the possible outcomes of this night started to freak her out to the point of losing focus, losing touch with reality. The world felt like it moved too fast, her brain couldn’t fully comprehend anything around her. She found herself back in the black pit where a panic attack was preying on her like vultures pray on those lost in the desert.

"Y/N...are you...are you scared of me?" His voice breaks as reality sets in and he can tell she's shivering, her arms wrapped around her as she glances at the door every few seconds. But he had no expectations of that night but a long talk and getting to know her better. He just wanted to show her who he is, but she didn't seem to believe that.

"Look, I'm not like you. I didn't sleep around. I had my first kiss in college with you and I tried dating a few guys after who somehow all ghosted me once they started hanging with you and I'm guessing they were a versions of Mike so thank you, but I never had sex, I've never even held hands with a boy before! I can't do this. I just can't." And before he had a chance to react, she was gone. His beautiful mischievous girl ran from him and this time it wasn't because she hated him, but because she realized she might actually care for him.

Tags: @mendesficsxbombay​​​ @beinscorpio​​​ @peacedolantwins​​​ @dolandolll​​​

PART 4

[melmothblog]

Ask Responses: Tough Questions #1

What is your opinion on today’s ideal of the long thin dancers that Balanchine liked/preferred and Russia’s immense popularisation of it (later becoming the new standard of the desired ballet body)? And why do you think Skorik, compared to other Russian dancers, get so much more attention regarding her body and how unhealthy she looks from the Western media?

I’ve received some tough questions recently (six of the, to be exact). I find these particular questions challenging for a number of reasons: some subject matters are potentially controversial; my personal opinion on certain subjects is not especially nice and I’m cautious when it comes to sharing it; or I simply don’t have enough information to give a good answer. Either way, I will do my best to answer these questions honestly. 

I always get uncomfortable when the subject of the “ballet body” comes up. Over the past five years I’ve seen female dancers bullied online for the way they look. Either these women are too thin or too fat – there is no in-between – and people are always eager to let them know how they feel about their bodies. Often, these comments are presented in a form of “concern” for the dancers’ health, and I find this unbelievably patronising! People never stop to think about the effect their words can have on someone. I know that some dancers had to temporarily leave social media because these comments became too much to handle.

First thing’s first: we’re talking about female bodies, and we need to acknowledge that there is a lot of historical and societal context attached to this subject.

When it comes to aesthetics in ballet, I’ve learned that every country is different. Come to think of it, beauty standards – especially for women – also differ from culture to culture, and tend to change over generations. Back in the 19th and early 20th century, thinness was associated with illness (consumption), and you saw this beauty standard reflected in ballerinas of the time. Of course, since then ballet itself has changed drastically, and the evolving technique has affected the bodies as much as the evolving beauty standards have. I think what we’re seeing now is a resurgence of the old views, and thinness is once again equated with poor health. This is particularly prevalent in the West. The problem I have with this is that instead of questioning the system (and I’m not just talking about ballet here), people focus on specific women and their bodies, because, historically, society has always felt a lot of ownership over female bodies.

-

Umberto Eco’s “On Beauty” illustrates the evolution of beauty standards over the centuries. Go here and skip to page 15.

-

When it comes to modern-day ballet bodies, Zakharova is widely considered the golden standard: long, thin limbs; flat torso; small head; arches for days, etc. Her proportions really do make her look stunning on stage, and she follows a diet that keeps her healthy and strong, as well as thin! The problem with holding this one body type up as “the ideal” is that not that many dancers can live up to it. We all have different genetic make-up, and if we try to fit a template our bodies were never meant for, we can severely damage our physical and mental health. In the documentary “Beautiful Tragedy”, Oksana Skorik talks about being compared to (and comparing herself to) a classmate who was skinnier than her, and becoming anorexic as a result of trying to copy her. Trying to achieve uniformity without taking individuality into consideration can lead to disaster. This is something Joy Womack has talked about as well. During her time at BBA, she was pitted agains another student by her teacher to see who could lose more weight... By the way, I think that “Beautiful Tragedy” is partly the reason Skorik gets singled out in the West over other Russian dancers. She’d already gone on record talking about her body and her health.

-

-

I realise that this answer is turning into a bloody essay, so let me try and summarise my feelings in dot points: 

Having a “standard” is fine, but dancers must be carefully guided to achieving and maintaining this standard, and their genetic makeup, body type and individuality must be taken into account.

Achieving complete uniformity is, ultimately, impossible. Instead, we should learn how each dancer can reach their fullest potential and get the most out of their body without compromising their health. Individual approach is key.

From the moment they start training, ballet students must be given tools to properly manage their health, weight and body image. 

Different cultures have different “standards”. Instead of criticising each other for the way we look, we must investigate why those standards are there in the first place and question if these standards are healthy.

For the people in the back: You do not have the right to anyone’s body. Whether you’re a member of the media or a “concerned” member of the public – keep your opinions to yourself.

d i s c l a i m e r

[glitterslag]

Warren Worthington NSFW Alphabet

ermm i’m guessing this probably isn’t what you were asking for, but when i get none specific requests i just do what i want lol, sorry!!!! I’ve been wanting to do one of these for someone for a while so i just went off hehe mwah x 

Word Count: 2.5 k oops

Warnings: I mean... it’s literally the nsfw alphabet so don’t open it if you don’t want to read about sex 

A = aftercare (what they’re like after sex) -

He’s kind of a beginner at this kind of thing. He hasn’t had a girlfriend since high school, and after that it was kind of just a chain of hookups, so for the first few times with him you’d both just kind of lie there awkwardly, or get up straight away and go back to whatever you were doing. One night, he tentatively extends his arm out across the pillow and you sort of shuffle into his side, and little by little you shuffle closer to one another until you end up pressed together in a tight cuddle. 

This goes on for a while until he’s comfortable enough to just go full on sap. After that, he’ll grab you up immediately and nuzzle into you, and you’ll cuddle and kiss the entire night after that. 

B = body part (favourite body part of theirs and also their partners) -

He knows he has a nice body and that girls are attracted to him, but he doesn’t really think himself anything special. There are parts of him that he’s insecure about, especially his scars. The longer he’s with you, though, he slowly learns to like himself. 

On you, he loves your hips, bum and thighs. The softer and jigglier the better! He loves grabbing at them when you’re on top, or when you’re lying curled into his side in bed and he’s got an arm around your back. 

C = cum (anything to do with cum, basically) - 

In your mouth or on your boobs is a firm favourite. 

D = dirty little secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) -

Daddy kink, all the way. He loves all that stuff. He’s dominant by nature, and this is his ultimate turn on. In fact, it’s so obvious you probably couldn’t even call it a secret. It practically radiates off him. If you wanna know his real deep dark secret, it’s that every once in a while, he likes to play the sub. But he’ll go to the grave before admitting it to anyone else. 

E = experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) -

He’s experienced in that his body count is relatively high, but not by way of sex in the context of a relationship. Like i said, he had a girlfriend in high school for a year or two, and then after that he’s had a pretty lonely life. In between then and meeting you, he’s only really had one night stands with girls from bars and parties. So regular sex with healthy communication is something he has to get used to (and he quickly learns he prefers it so much better to the whole one night stand thing). 

It’s not that he’s bad in bed at first, but he’s definitely used to prioritising his own pleasure, and he seems more concerned with racing to the finish line rather than enjoying the experience as a whole. It takes him a while to learn how to be present in the moment, and to communicate.

At first, he’s maybe not the best at handling criticism. No girl has ever complained (probably because he’s had a lot of drunken one night stands) and so he’s come to think of himself as being rather good. Because you’re the first girl who’s ever told him otherwise, he’s a little indignant for a while, but then he steps up. 

He also does a few things you can tell he’s learnt from porn, and he sort of expects you to be performative like girls he’s seen on there. He gets a little disappointed when you don’t act like girls in porn, because he thinks that maybe you aren’t enjoying it. Once you make him see that real sex with real people looks completely different, that it can be messy and fun and light hearted and not everyone’s squirting every ten seconds and switching positions 50 times he has, like, SO much more fun. His time with you has been the best sex of his life, no contest. He comes to feel like he knew nothing about it before you. 

F = favourite position (this goes without saying) - 

He’d say doggy, or missionary with both your legs as high up as he can get them. 

G = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous?) -

No, hardly ever. He can be a bit of a stern, serious person. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) -

 I mean, his hair is so blonde and fine that he can just completely leave his pubes and it’s not super noticeable. But he quite often shaves everything off because he likes the clean look. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) -

i don’t know if I’d say intimacy as much as I’d say intensity. When he cares about the person he’s with, he becomes very intense. He’ll force you to maintain eye contact with him the entire time, pressing your foreheads together in missionary, holding you by your chin and bringing you down close when you’re on top, or making you turn your head over your shoulder to look at him in doggy. He looks deep into your eyes the whole time, while thrusting slow, deep and hard. He’ll also pull you back by the hair or throat in doggy so he can murmur in your ear, and just feel close to you in general. It’s exhilarating, and a little frightening, but it’s definitely romantic in a dark sort of way. 

As for actually intimacy - that comes in the moments outside of the bedroom.  Like when you groom his wings with a comb, or sit behind behind him in the bathtub to wash them. Or when he asks you to clean and dress his injuries. Or cut his hair. 

For him, that’s what being truly intimate means. Letting someone in. 

J= jack off (masturbation headcanon) -

Yeah he does it a lot, usually if you’re not around. I’m not gonna dress it up - Warren likes porn. 

K = kink (one or more of their kinks) -

We all know Warren has a wing kink. He views them as quite a personal part of his body, and you’re respectful of that. The first time he lets you touch them he’s hard straight away, instantly moaning and shivering from the feeling. It’s as if you’ve reached out and touched his very soul. The first time you groom and clean them he uncontrollably cums all over his stomach even though you haven’t even touched him. He doesn’t allow you to do it often, because it makes him feel really exposed, but when he does it’s usually during the rare times he’s feeling a little needy and submissive.

He’s also got daddy kink as we know, as well as being pretty into BDSM. He likes to spank, choke and restrain you. He likes to leave his mark on you - he’s possessive in that respect. He’ll make sure you’re never without a very prominent hickey, and he likes leaving red welts on your bum and thighs from spanking. He is 100% an ass man, and isn’t afraid of a little butt stuff (with you).   

L = location (favourite places to do the do) -

You guys are literally always using toys, so he just likes to stay in his room where he’s got everything he might need. Apart from that the bath is great, especially if you’ve just finished washing his wings. The shower, the sofa, the kitchen counter, the living room floor - pretty much anywhere in the house really. Not outside, though - he’s not an exhibitionist. And he doesn’t want to risk getting caught. He doesn’t like the thought of anyone else seeing, or even thinking about you in a sexual situation - you’re his.

M = motivation  (what turns them on, gets them going) - 

Run your fingers through his feathers and he’s instantly hard. Suck his fingers, act innocent, call him daddy. Seeing you in short pjama shorts or lingerie is a big yes. He also loves when you cling to him and act needy. Gives him a heart boner lol. 

N = NO (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) 

You are absolutely, categorically not allowed to go anywhere near his butthole. Just no.

O = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) -

He absolutely loves to receive, which is a good job, because you love to give. Getting to cum in your mouth is quite possibly his favourite sensation on the planet. Will happily go down on you for hours too, though. 

P = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) -

Warren loves to be slow, hard and deep. When you ask him to be rough, though, he tends to go a bit quicker. 

Q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) -

To be honest, nah. He’d rather have proper sex and less often than quickies and more often. He’s not a morning person, either, so a morning quickie is a little bit out of the question. He likes to set aside a good two hours of an evening so he knows he’s got time to see to you properly. 

R = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) -

He’s always suggesting new things that he wants to do to you (come on, lets just try it once, you’ll like it!) but when it comes to him, he’s not super open to new things. He doesn’t like to feel out of control. 

He’d never pressure you to do anything you didn’t want to do, but you do have to remind him of the double standard of asking people to go out of their comfort zone when they won’t do it themselves. He pipes down a little after that.

As far as risks go, he’s actually surprisingly boring and sensible. Definitely does his research on reddit before trying anything new (lmao) and he would never do anything that had even the slightest risk of getting either of you hurt. You’re always begging him to do something in a public place - quickie in the club bathroom, fingering you under the table at a restaurant etc, and his answer is always a stern no. And you definitely get punished for being a beg once you get home though. 

You sometimes ask to go without a condom (”please War, it’s a safe time of the month!”) but he is absolutely not risking it. He doesn’t want any babies any time soon. 

S = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) -

He can go a few rounds. If he needs a break in between, he’ll just play with you until he’s ready to get back to it. I’ve also got this gut feeling he can last for time.

T = toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or on themselves?) -

He once got one of those little plastic cock rings you can get from petrol station toilet just for a laugh (this might just be a UK thing so roll with it). He kinda liked it, but it just ended up buried in the bottom of his drawer, never used again. 

You once bought a pair of fluffy handcuffs and he very reluctantly let you cuff him to the bed while you sucked him off, and even though he secretly kinda liked it, they made him feel silly, and he didn’t like not being able to touch you. He was adamant that he was never doing it again. (And then one time, when you two came back from a drunk night out, he confessed that he did want you to use them again). 

For you, on the other hand, he loves them. He loves treating you to cute little toys. He’s bought you a hitachi magic wand, one of those butt plugs with the little pompom on the end, and a super cute wooden spanker paddle thing with the cut out hearts. He goes by the theory that if they’re super cute and girly then it’s less intimidating, because he wouldn’t want you to feel nervous. 

Once you get to the point in the relationship where you’re truly comfortable, you two absolutely love playing with toys. In fact, he probably likes using them on you more than actually fucking you. 

U = unfair (how much they like to tease) -

If you teased him, he’d quickly get impatient. And lets be fair, there’s no way you could restrain him - he’s too powerful and would just break out of your hold and have his way with you. He gets a kick out of teasing you, though. And edging you while he praises you. He loves the sounds you make, and watching you squirm. He’s not mean, though, and will definitely reward you for your patience, twofold. 

V = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) -

He’s not that loud. He’ll just kind of make grunting sounds under his breath, and then when he comes he’ll groan. He does like dirty talk and praising you, and he’s usually murmuring things to you under his breath the entire time, so it’s never silent. 

W - wild card (a random headcanon for the character) -

Ok. When he plays video games (which he does a LOT) he’ll ignore you on purpose so that you’ll whine for his attention and cling all over him. He loves when you do that. Eventually he’ll give in or get too horny, then, you’ll cock-warm him like this

or this

 while you both play. 

He’ll inevitably lose concentration after about 2 minutes max and absolutely rail you. You have no idea that he does this on purpose just to get what he wants.

X = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants) -

Its average length, and thick. He’s got a slight bend in it as well which does wonders, if you know what I mean.

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?) -

When he’s on the drink or going through a period of bad mental health, or even just a bad mood, then no. He’s not got a high sex drive. He tends to close off from you when he’s sad or angry, so you won’t get much physical contact. He’s a bit terrified of going near you when he’s angry, afraid of getting too carried away and passionate with the sex and accidentally hurting you. 

But apart from that then yeah, he’s happy to do it every day if that’s what you want. 

Z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) -

Warren goes through periods of barely sleeping, especially when he’s anxious (which is often). Now that he’s trying to cut down on alcohol he tends to self medicate with black coffee, and drinks it around the clock. So there are a lot of nights where he’s lying awake long after you’ve fallen asleep in his arms. 

[kob131]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1q5Hk7u9aw

Ah FMF, even when you’re not Genwunning RT writing, you’re still not good. So Why am I covering his video on a ‘bad review’ of Netflix’s Death Note? Well this was used in the video of a Youtuber I once respected and I’m pretty sure he started adopting FMF’s bullshit so I’ve decided dissect the video to showcase that he’s bad at this no matter what the subject and why he shouldn’t be listen to.

Before we even begin, FMF begins his video with saying ‘this is just my opinion’ even though his video is titled ‘A response to a bad Death Note review’ and he has a visual counter system for what the original video gets wrong called ‘Wrong/Illogical’ which aren’t opinions. Honestly, it comes off as FMF using this as a shield to prevent criticism.

So his first point against Cosmonaut Variety Hour is that he complains about the pacing, talking about how Netflix Light gets the Death Note 2 minutes in, meets Ryuk 8 minutes in and kills his first victim a little later. FMF says that the anime had Light following a similar path. Which is true...only because FMF cuts off Cosmonaut’s final part: where he states a short while later Light gets a girl friend (Misa/Mia). This completely changes things, as how many minutes into the anime does Light get a girlfriend?

Well, each episode is about 22 minutes long with episode 1 being 23. Light and Misa part ways about 3 minutes 15 seconds into Episode 14. However, about 2 minutes 40 seconds of each episode is opening and ending. So let’s do the math.

22 * 13 + 4.25 = 290.25

2.66 * 13 + 1.5 (the opening is about 1 minute 30 seconds) = 36.08

290.25 - 36.08 = 254.17

Each .01 is .6 seconds. so 17 X .6 is 10.2

the time to getting Misa is 290 minutes and 10.2 seconds. In the movie? Let’s just say 30 minutes for simplicity’s sake (it’s more like 27 minutes and 11 seconds). That’s a net difference of 260 minutes and 10.2 seconds. WELL over double the length of the movie. So Cosmonaut’s point makes sense, if a bit ill explained.

Also in this point, he says it doesn’t make sense because Cosmonaut said ‘I like it wasn’t two hours’ ... when anyone with awareness could tell that wasn’t an actual like, it was a potshot at the movie’s poor quality that it was short. 

The next point is that Cosmonaut complains about the movie not fleshing out  Light, Mia and Ryuk. FMF says the exposition before finding the Death Note is about explaining Light’s life situation. ... This is a really dishonest response because he cuts off Cosmonaut explaining himself, up to and including how he would have found the few scenes with Light, Ryuk and Mia interesting if they were all more fleshed out. Not only is this stuff not helping because only one third of his point is addressed- Light’s life situation is mostly technical and meant to build up his motivation whereas Cosmonaut is talking about Light and the others as people. It’s reliant on FMF either missing or misinterpreting the point, neither of which is acceptable.

Also, in the bit he doesn’t show, Cosmonaut says ‘I’m not saying make this two hours. For the love of God, don’t make this two hours long’ with an image of a man having a heart attack, which should have informed FMF than part of his previous point was based on taking a blatant joke seriously. ... Yeah.

Next point is...Nothing. No seriously, Cosmonaut says ‘spend some time making your main character likeable or relatable in any way’ and FMF just says ‘You can’t just say there’s nothing to like.’ He doesn’t even give an example whereas Cosmonaut does, showcasing that infamous scream of Light’s (given, FMF cut that part off.) He also considers this wrong by the way. Not in my words, his ‘Wrong’ counter goes up.

His next point is about when Cosmonaut says the logic of the movie is being dumb because Light chose the name Kira. FMF claims that the logic is sound because Light makes a dumb decision and he gets immediately figured out. Issue is that A. He cut Cosmonaut mentioning that Light in the anime never actually choosing the name (setting up how the name choosing is dumb) B. That it doesn’t get immediately figured out until L figures it out (a character meant to be smart) and C. The movie itself never treats the name as being a dumb decision, in fact the police are stated to have fallen for it. Nothing here functions.

The following point is ... another dishonest one. Cosmonaut says that L finding out that Kira’s name is a misdirection doesn’t make him look smart, it makes him look dumber than Light. And FMF responds by saying ‘that doesn’t make sense because L used the death of the first victim to find out where Light was, like the anime version did!’. Thing is, Cosmonaut is saying it makes him look dumb, not that he is. You normally don’t notice this because both involve discussing L’s intelligence, never realizing that FMF is talking about something different. This is a fallacy called ‘pivoting’: you see politicians doing this a lot. He’s being dishonest again.

Before we move onto the next point, I wanna point out that he skips Cosmonaut bitching about the movie giving L a reason to eat candy and how it doesn’t make sense. Thing is, Cosmonaut says that the movie is stating candies can keep you awake for 48 hours but the clip he shows doesn’t say that. It was 41 hours and the topic was keeping his mind focused. You’d think FMF would jump on this since he IS wrong here...but no, he doesn’t. Trust me when I say this becomes important later.

fMF;s next point is another case of cut context. He shows a clip of Cosmonaut saying some scenes were likely cut with an example of Ryuk saying he’s disappointed and that he said Light should give up the Death Note  while FMF responds by saying Ryuk already informed him. Thing is, Cosmonaut is talking about Ryuk SAYING Light should give it up instead of INFORMING Light he can give it up like FMF says, playing a clip where Ryuk says as much (’I asked politely but you didn’t hear me: let the note go!’) and Cosmonaut even rebutes FMF’s point, saying what Ryuk did before was inform him of an option but not insisted on it (in fact egging Light on). Again, relying on cutting off his argument.

His point afterward is short but correct: Cosmonaut says L should be surprised Light knows his name and FMF shows that they revealed it earlier. I think it’s also the only point so far that he hasn’t cut off.

The next is one that FMF doesn’t cut off but is still rather sneaky. Cosmonaut says the movie is making the case for Light Turner being smart and FMF says the movie is making the case that Light is poor, has iffy morals ect. This is the scene that most people point to saying the movie says Light is smart here. FMF is trying to disprove that by giving an alternate interpretation. Thing is, why would anyone pay to have their homework partially done by a dumb person? That...doesn’t make sense. And Light has 15 customers at least, since he was found with at least 15 people’s homework on him when he was found after being punched (something FMF tries to use to say ‘see? He was punched for trying to be clever! The movie’s not saying he’s smart!’) so he should know this.

Afterward, he tackles Cosmonaut’s point about Light cracking under pressure by saying the pressure is mounting on him. I could understand this (ignoring how I’ve made this same point to him about RWBY...) except that in the anime even more pressure was on Light and he never cracked like this. Is Light Turner a different character? Yes...but no one mentions this. 

“‘Lust for power’ is one of the most basic human motivations in the world.” is his next counter argument against Cosmonaut, who says ‘we never learn why Mia wants to kill everybody.” I’m afraid I can’t let the RWBY thing directly slid anymore because this standard could really affect his work: Cinder has the EXACT SAME motivation and no one buys that shit. We don’t buy it because there has to be a reason BEHIND the lust for power. Even Dio had this (he wanted power because of his fucked up childhood.) So he really should be calling this out himself. ESPECIALLY if he’s called out Cinder before.

Next up is FMF going on and on about how the movie shows Light isn’t smart (Err, no. Getting punched was suppose to show how crooked the system was) and how L is making this a game for his ego (he...never prove this beyond showing L refer to this as a game. Nothing for ego) in response to Light being called dumb... And why wouldn’t he be considered smart? He outright says L refers to him as smart and while he says it’s for his ego, not only is the homework thing logically about him being smart but the character Turner is adapted from is notoriously smart so that’s just...logical.

Next one is fucking weird. Cosmonaut says the rule about the Death Note’s burning page makes no sense and FMF says that while he agrees with it, he tries to insert a counter by saying that ‘taking Ryuk at face value, it might not work at all.’ ... The rule wasn’t said by Ryuk, it’s said in the Death Note. Ryuk was saying that he can only do it once. He fucked up a point he says he mostly agree with.

Next part is Cosmonaut saying it’s stupid that Watari only has one name and is using his real name and FMF says that it makes sense as Watari needs to be contacted to get to L...ignoring that you could just have a private number. And before someone complains at me since he says its an opinion: that ‘Wrong’ counter goes up and that ain’t an opinion so I’m not buying it.

The next part brings up that Light got Watari’s name from his dad, something Cosmonaut says L should have known better because L wasn’t a suspect yet while FMF points out that Light wasn’t a suspect yet. ... This is still calls L’s intelligence into question as he was giving out his partner’s name out so it can be researched...and he has the man undisguised with him in the open (which is how Light gets his face). 

Next part I’ll give: This version of L is emotional so FMF is right...if he had taken the time to establish this is suppose to be a video looking at the movie on it’s own. FMF, you need to give context.

Next two are basically the same: Cosmonaut bitches about Light not giving a reason for not wanting to killing Watari and FMF cities ‘we don’t kill people’ and ‘survival instinct’ for why he would want to kill L as reasons...which brings up: wouldn’t killing Watari also fall under ‘survival instinct’?  Kill L’s ally/possible avenger?

The next point is really stupid. It’s bitching about the moment where Watari dies, Cosmonaut saying that it doesn’t make sense that Watari doesn’t reveal L’s name while FMF says that Ryuk could have interpreted his ‘dealer’s choice’ to kill him without revealing the name to fuck with Light...Ryuk’s never acted to fuck with Light like that before (could have interpreted the names being written to mean [Reveal Light’s name to the world] too) and ‘dealer’s choice’ refers to the type of death, not what everything in it means.

He then mocks Cosmonaut for saying a scene of Ryuk saying ‘dealer’s choice!’ disproved what Cosmonaut said before. Ignoring that I have personally seen him pull this on RWBY- He does this same thing here NUMEROUS TIMES with Cosmonaut. It still doesn’t make sense because Ryuk, when Watari’s circumstances are written down, mentioned the cause of death SPECIFICALLY. That’s why there’s an issue.

Afterward Cosmonaut bitches that Mia can’t get the Death Note because he needs to live it alone for seven days while FMF corrects him as he shows Light can just give it up. Nothing really bad here (in a vacuum). Same with the ‘finding Light’ thing that comes after (in a vacuum).

Next is FMF being suspicious again. He cuts up Cosmonaut’s argument about why there is so many police at the pier and why the are there that he cuts out a part of Cosmonaut’s point (that they found L so there’s no reason for so much force there). And his ‘within reason’ thing pops up again even as he doesn’t afford Cosmonaut that. Same with the ‘L said Light is Kira and he took my gun’ counter to Cosmonaut even though in any other circumstance he would have ignored that.

Next is...confusing AND bullshit. Cosmonaut says that, with Light writing that if Mia takes the Death Note she dies, the Death Note is never shown to have these kinds of deaths. And FMF says that...it wasn’t the Death Note. ... Even though the end, Light did write that down. FMF tries to justify this by saying Mia was forced to do it by the Death Note by referencing her saying ‘I love you so much’ and looking shocked when getting the Death note...what he DOESN’T show you is Light saying ‘If you love me, you gotta trust me. Don’t take the book’ before her line, Light getting distracted by his dad afterward, panicking when she takes it THEN her looking shocked as she said ‘What?’. FMF is pretty much LYING at that point.

Cosmonaut has this really big point about Light’s plan from the movie’s climax where FMF attacks some of the aspects. One is him saying Light needed to discredit L to get off the hook (even though he never shows the part about the criminal being brainwashed into doing Light’s dirty work to clear his name.) He brings up Watari not knowing where L’s orphanage is...even though he could have learned about it off screen.

And we end with him making a technical error: he says that the page L has also has the rules/instructions on it...and I can’t tell what it says. So it’s as good as worthless.

Cosmonaut did make a few mistakes and FMF could have made an actual good video by addressing how he doesn’t explain the points he makes against the movie...but that isn’t what he did. Instead of going for smaller but truthful criticisms, he goes for big, flashy and ultimately fault at the VERY best and disgustingly manipulative at worst. All of this without mentioning his hypocrisy with RWBY (example: he ignores anything that doesn’t happen on screen and gives no logical concessions to the show while demanding Cosmonaut do that.) Even when giving him some credit, the man makes it so his targets always look better out of it because he’s so dishonest and manipulative.

Honestly, no one should look to him for inspiration or good points. Because even with a video as bare bones and basic as Cosmonaut, he makes it look like a work of Robert Ebert.

[mikami]

Death Note Audio Drama 07

Disc 7: Double Agents  - a summary / partial translation

Prior translations / an explanation as to what the fuck this is.

Honestly, not much new happens in this part, but there is some funny banter between Matsuda and Ivor (Aiber); and between Light and L.

_______

Ivor calls Shimura under the Coil name. Coil hints that L will soon discover Yotsuba as Kira as a ‘friendly warning’ type of thing. Shimura here is extremely generic and not anxious like normal Shimura at all.

_______

TITLE MUSIC

_______

A Yotsuba meeting. They discuss hiring Misa for image girl.They also brush over Hatori’s death by saying that they assume everyone will send ‘appropriate letters of condolence’ (Shimura asks what is ‘appropriate’ in this case, but is brushed off instantly).

Takahashi seems confused and eventually brings up that he thought at least one person would speak up against the murders. (Someone: “You want to agree with an opinion that nobody actually brought up?”) Takahashi, flustered, changes track to point out that it’s strange that nobody is really talking about Hatori’s death. (Someone: “Mr. Hatori’s death is something we are all painfully aware of. Appropriate letters of condolence, like was said.”)

They then agree that Kira is the one who killed Hatori and then wonder how Kira found out that Hatori wanted out. 

_______

Matsuda wants to arrest all Yotsubas on basis of these tapes, but L points out they don’t know who of them is Kira and Soichiro points out the video is not admissible in court.

Light and Soichiro don’t want to just let the murders happen. Light thus suggests contacting Namikawa to stop them.

______

NAMIKAWA: Knew I’d find you here, Kyousuke. 

HIGUCHI: I’m a refugee. A refugee for nicotine. 

NAMIKAWA: You got fire?

Cigarette lighting noises.

HIGUCHI: Better smoke fast, we’re almost at real estate and finances.

NAMIKAWA: Takahashi finally got his job done?

HIGUCHI: He’s apparently got a few numbers. Both of us can only guess what tethers them to reality.

Phone ringing. Namikawa picks up. It’s Light as L. The deal is pretty much the same as in the manga.

______

Takahashi and Mido supported the delay in killings, as we learn in an L and Watari conversation. L suddenly directs his suspicions to Light again, after Light was the one to find Yotsuba and take initiative here.

Watari accuses L of being envious of Light’s success, but L denies this and names Light a perfect successor candidate.

______

L comes to Misa’s room, Light is already in it with Misa. Light claims he interrupted them getting comfortable as far as possible in HQ. The rest of the conversation is just about L convincing Misa to help the investigation. Highlight is Misa calling Light her ‘cuddlebunny’. 

Though it’s funny because the way the job is described, Misa just sums it up like “So.... I need to let them give me presents. Support my career. Pay me.” :)

________

Higuchi points out that Rem has been uncharacteristically quiet last meeting. They then chat about hiring Misa to find L. Higuchi figures out that Misa was the friend Rem was talking about and that she was Kira II. He then decides to marry Misa.

________

Rehearsals for Misa’s job interview. She’s bad at acting and doesn’t actually want to be an actress, just a star. Ivor and Wendy help her rehearse, especially since Ivor (as ‘John Wallace’) is also going to be one of the interviewers. Wendy and Ivor try to explain to her that she and Ivor are double agents now, leading Misa to point out Namikawa is ALSO a double agent and present. “Will there also be people who aren’t doube agents?” she asks, and in this context, honestly it feels like a legit question.

There’s going to be Ooi, Shimura and Higuchi at the meeting as well though.

________

The actual interview. Wendy and L are listening. Wendy brings up that Misa has to adjust her female charms to the desire of all the older guys specifically, to be what they want, manipulate them. L does not believe in that stuff, Wendy basically verbally eyerolls at him for it.

The interview itself is uninteresting as far as new content is concerned.

________

Wendy is still annoyed at L not understanding women. (L: “Nobody understands women.”) She explains to Light how she taught Misa to manipulate men.

________

Misa throws up from nervousness during the interview break. As she comes back out into the main room of the bathroom, Rem is waiting for her. 

________

The Yotsuba executives like Misa as an idea for an image girl. They also like that Misa can lead them to L. Higuchi mostly wants to fuck her tho.

________

Rem explains the situation to Misa. 

________

MATSUDA: Mr. Wallace. How’s the meeting with Misa Amane going? It wouldn’t have hurt to invite me to it as well. I’m her manager after all.

IVOR (whispering): Don’t talk to me!  You’re gonna blow our cover!

MATSUDA (whispering): I am Misa’s manager and you’re the guy handing her the contract. You can be pretty darn certain I’ll talk to you. 

MATSUDA (loud): Here’s my business card.

IVOR: I don’t want your card. 

MATSUDA (quiet): Oh yes you do, Ivor.

MATSUDA (very loud): Here’s my card, Mr. Wallace. I truly hope we can cooperate towards mutual benefit.

IVOR: Right. Thank you.

MATSUDA: And, what’s the current state of affairs?

IVOR: We’re interviewing your client, Mr. Matsui, and I think her chances are very good. 

MATSUDA: I actually meant the operation.

IVOR: We’ll contact you on the details later.

MATSUDA: Huh. Well, I just asked.

IVOR: Just let me do my job, man.

MATSUDA: I’m the overbearing manager. No reason to get all shirty.

IVOR: Interesting choice of words.

MATSUDA: What’s your problem with my shirt? 

IVOR: You look ridiculous.

MATSUDA: I’m adjusting to the situation. I’m the cocky media guy.

IVOR: It attracts attention. The trick is to not do that.

MATSUDA: Is that what you tried doing when you were convicted of fraud?

IVOR (furious): Do we really need to talk about this now?!

MATSUDA: I’m just saying. Now don’t forget, you’re the cool suave guy from marketing. 

IVOR (still furious): And maybe that guy also has a black belt.

MATSUDA: Oh, piss off.

IVOR: You piss off!

______

Rem continues explaining to Misa.

______

After the interview, Misa makes Matsuda drop her off at the mall (by claiming it’s a ‘woman thing’), instead of going straight back.

______

MISA’S MAILBOX MESSAGE: Hello. This is Misa-Misa. For a fun and sexy message. Here’s the beep. See you!

Misa has 5 new messages. Wendy is leaving a message for her to call. L and Light also left messages. Higuchi messages to agree on a meeting at the mall. Matsuda then calls twice to figure where the fuck Misa went now.

_______

Misa and Higuchi meet up. Misa near-immediately reveals herself as willing to date Kira.

_______

Soichiro informs Matsuda that the specific mall does sell mostly jewelry (he knows because of Sayu), which means Misa lied by implying to shop for period products. Wohoo. L is super frustrated with Misa.

_______

Misa agrees to kill Ginzo Kaneboshi to prove she’s Kira. Higuchi first has to convince her that he’s a bad person (animal testing, illegal human testing) though. Misa doesn’t even pretend to write here, which makes Higuchi wonder if she has a different Kira ability from him. Misa also dictates that Kaneboshi texts Higuchi before dying.

_______

Kaneboshi is in the opera. Rem personally shows up there to force him to write the message?? Though she has written it into the notebook as well, so really, what’s the point??

Either way, he dies as dictated.

_______

Higuchi gets the announced text, still confused Misa hasn’t written anything.

Since he doesn’t have the notebook with him and Misa doesn’t want to come to his house out of reservations that he’s up to something sexual. Thus they settle on him not killing anyone for proof.

_______

Misa shows the task force a recording of this.

_______

Higuchi confronts Rem on how Misa might have figured out he’s Kira / how she killed Kaneboshi without writing. He wants this ability too. (”What else can it be but an ability? She just says it and a madly in love god of death does her a favor??”)

________

Matsuda triumphs that they got Kira now, L points out they only know one Kira and not how he kills.

Meanwhile Wendy has placed bugs all over the building and also into the private homes of the executives. Mido, Namikawa and Higuchi have special security, which is a hindrance in her operations.

Higuchi’s house is too complicated to bug, so instead they bug his six cars.

_________

Door opening.

LIGHT: L?

L: Question: do you remember killing all those people?

LIGHT: Oh, piss off.

Door closing.

LIGHT: Go away! I’ve had enough of your paranoia!

L (muffled through door): Let me in. I’m trying to find something out.

LIGHT: Try starting with the reason nobody likes you.

L: Let me in.

LIGHT: I’m not Kira. You need to stop accusing me every time you don’t know what to do.

L: I need your intellect. You need to answer as if you were Kira.

Light sighs. Door opening.

LIGHT: What would Kira do....

L: Exactly. What would he do?

LIGHT: Alright. Let’s go through it.

L: Can you remember killing these people?

LIGHT: No.

L: Why not?

LIGHT: Because I didn’t do it, idiot. And now get out of here!

L: But... what if it was you after all?

LIGHT: It was not. 

L: Let’s just pretend it was.

They go through the idea of Light forgetting something and why now. They come to believe that Light losing his memory would have been his own decision, in case it happened. They begin thinking of the Kira skill as something like a contract with different packages. Premium (eyes) vs basic.

________

Matsuda watching TV, as L and Light approach him. They suggest the scheme of Matsuda showing up on TV together. Matsuda is creeped out by them being in sync for once. The reason they think Higuchi will recognize Matsuda immediately despite an obscured face is his.... tacky shirt.

________

Namikawa is hosting Shimura and Mido at his home, he invited them. They have a similar meeting to the manga, except in this verse Mido approached Shimura instead of the other way around.

They also assume Higuchi is Kira. Namikawa also confesses that L has contacted him and also suspects Higuchi. They agree to wait it out until L caught Kira and their troubles simply disappear.

_______

Advertisement for the TV show on Sakura TV, highly overproduced with a lot of echo effects.

_______

The task force prepares to start the scheme. It is set up the same way as in the manga.

_______

Namikawa calls Higuchi to watch Sakura TV. Higuchi tries to kill Matsuda with the fake name, then is shocked when it doesn’t work.

_______

Higuchi leaves stressed messages on Misa’s voice mail. They start of simple and friendly and then deteriorate anger and culminate in: “Start running, whore.”

_______

L and Light are amused at Higuchi’s growing despair. Everyone from Yotsuba keeps calling Higuchi about the TV program. In these phone calls Higuchi actually talks about himself with regards to killing but that’s not really addressed, so I cannot tell if it’s a writing mistake or a sign of Higuchi becoming careless.

Higuchi finally resolves to go to the studio in person. Wendy tails him on her bike. 

________

In the car, Higuchi talks to Rem. Higuchi is hell-bent on simply killing Matsuda and everyone in the TV station.

[eyecicles]

idk if you want to answer this but I've come across a theory several times now and I'd like to know your opinion: B creates 'Ryuzaki'. L adopts some of B's 'Ryuzaki' traits. L is still naturally quirky but he amplifies his weirdness. Thoughts?

Short answer: No

Long answer:

The biggest problem with theories like that, is that “Another Note” and “Death Note” were written by different people and I don’t think at all that AN is anywhere near the level of canon the manga is. This is actually a good thing, because otherwise we would have a lot of annoying contradictions (AN is filled with them already, lol) and I’d rather not have that.

So I could make this relatively short and point to what we have in the manga about the LABB case, which is this scene:

A case L hardly even remembers, since he has to google Naomi first, even though it was only one and a half years ago.

I tend to not believe that we’re supposed to read a book - not written by Obha/Obata - about a case L probably doesn’t even care about, to understand why L is so “eccentric” or “more eccentric than he naturally was even though he still is a bit weird”.

Not to mention that AN!L isn’t exactly like manga!L to begin with. If we don’t even consult HTR13, B isn’t canon at all. He’s briefly mentioned in the HTR13 as someone who “challenges L, a man he admires” (l o l). In the manga, there’s only a “perpetrator” of the “Los Angeles BB Serial Murder Case”.

The manga doesn’t offer an explanation to why L is the way he is and, really, do we even need one? A lot of characters use codenames, a lot of characters have strong personalities, Mello and Near are just as “quirky”, so why should L’s personality need an explanation when no one’s else does? The manga doesn’t ask why L is “weird” while “Another Note” asks us all kind of questions about who’s “Ryuzaki”. Chances are, the answer is not one to a question the manga doesn’t ask. We, as the readers, made that an issue and maybe there’s nothing to solve. Seriously, I think that’s a perspective not enough people think about.

I do, however, believe that everyone can decide on their own how seriously they take “Another Note”. So let’s talk about the novel:

The theory doesn’t work without first!L (except if you want the most vague concept of “L” possible, maybe). And, uh, I don’t want to kill anyone’s mood but *whispers* he doesn’t exist. In HTR13 Ohba and Obata famously talk about the changes in L’s design, but ok, you don’t have to take HTR13 seriously either, if you really don’t want to. We can all just look at the actual story in the manga and wonder why L’s face, shoulders, neck, and hair suddenly look different even before he decided to show his face to the task force. Why not.

Anyway, let’s pretend for a moment that first!L does exist, despite everyting pointing towards the opposite direction; what does first!L do?

Well…… He’s barefoot, crouching on the floor, wearing jeans and a simple shirt… Oh wait! That’s mostly stuff B does, as Ryuzaki, too. Did B, by change, create a persona that closely resembles first!L?!

Or does B already know a thing or two about L? “Another Note” is weird and dumb and confusing and tells us that B has never met L (which doesn’t bother me that much, considering how shit B’s L impression is, haha), but let’s look at this quote:

“If L’s a genius then B’s an extreme genius. If L’s a freak, then B’s an extreme freak. Now it’s time to get ready. There are things I must do before B can surpass L. Henh henh henh henh.”

B thinks L is a freak (”a genius and a freak” makes it clear that his freakishness is something seperate from his brilliance as a detective). Why? Because he knows that he’s weird. Somehow. Even if he didn’t met him. And this simultaneously tells us why B’s impersonation of L is so shite and totally over-the-top: B wants to be the extreme freak. B wants to surpass L’s level of brilliance and weirdness (don’t ask me why). L doesn’t soften B’s quirks, B amplifies L’s.

And I know people who believe in the Ryuzaki Persona theory tried to discredit this quote:

There was something about him that reminded her of Rue Ryuzaki—of Beyond Birthday. But the resemblance was backward, like this was the original, and the other had been a copy.

But, uh, I, for one, think it’s pretty straightforward. There’s nothing vague about it in my opinion, and I’m convinced it isn’t some secret brain twister. By now, we’re supposed to already know that Ryuzaki isn’t actually L. We’re at the end of the novel and Mello (who met L in person) tells us through Naomi what happened. It would be completely redundant to tell us that “B imitated L” even more obviously. (By the way, L has never seen B as Ryuzaki and Naomi doesn’t even describe him to L - she only tells L vaguely that he’s “weird”, which seems to upset L.)

Thankfully, we have another quote like the one above (this time directly from Mello):

I need hardly explain again that the murders themselves were not his purpose. So what was he doing? Again, I hardly need to explain—he was challenging the man he copied, the century’s greatest detective, L.

“Copying” implies more than just challenging someone in a detective war. “Copying” doesn’t mean that B wants to become L - he doesn’t - and it doesn’t mean that he’s “copying” his investigative methods, because, again, he actually doesn’t.

But okay, cool, let’s pretend B copied L and then L copied some of the quirks B added (?). Which ones? His love for sweets? His bad posture?

A burden so great it would leave you hunched over. A bitter taste in your mouth that would leave you longing for sweets.

That’s how Mello describes L.

The dark circles under his eyes?

There were lines under his (L’s) eyes so dark she wondered if they were actually done with makeup. Like he hadn’t slept in days—or like he had never slept in his life. Like his sense of justice would not allow him time to sleep, since he had so many difficult cases to think about, battling unfathomable pressure on a daily basis.

Again, Mello - via Naomi - disagrees. Mello has some weird theories indeed, but since the novel paints L as waaay more sympathetic than the manga does anyway, I’m pretty sure we’re meant to believe him here. (Not to mention that the manga tells us very clearly that L has some weird sleeping habits.)

By the way, I’ve seen this line -:

There were lines under his eyes so dark she wondered if they were actually done with makeup.

- quoted out of context, which is pretty dishonest. The novel goes on to explain us why L looks like that and even very clearly contrasts it to B:

Still grinning to himself, he (B) faced the mirror, brushed his hair, and began applying his makeup.

He probably sleeps pretty sound at night. Another interesting B & L contrast:

Apparently he (B) was capable of consuming non-sweet things too.

Yes, unlike L. B is willing to break his act then and now, L is canonically very uncompromising .

And B also picked the name “Rue Ryuzaki” specifically to fit his entire L masquerade:

B approached Naomi Misora, calling himself Rue Ryuzaki. Rue Ryuzaki– L.L. For anyone from Wammy’s House, there could be no higher goal than identifying yourself with that letter—andBeyond Birthday seized this case as his chance.

Everything about “Ryuzaki” is about L.

You know, I’ve talked about this before, but beside the fact that L’s quirks are added gradually - and not with a BANG! for the task force or whatever - L’s crouch, L’s posture, L eating and drinking lots of sugary stuff, L biting his fingers, L having dark circles under this eyes - all of that is heavily connected to L’s emotions, thoughts, and general personality in the manga. Stress, feeling depressed, fear, even joy; all of that makes L intensify his crouch, makes him bite his nails, makes him show some weird facial expressions, or eat some more cake. Not the other way around, like, y’know, you would expect from someone who puts on an act.

All the nice little details about L’s character tell us so much about him. Obha and Obata beautifully use them to give us some hints about his psyche, and taking that away from L makes him incredibly hollow. While B’s “Ryuzaki” act is alllll about his L obsession. If you take that away from B, he becomes hollow as well.

Yes, L utilises his quirks to confuse people and he’s a liar, but that’s got nothing to do with B.

Conclusion: B is obsessed with L. L doesn’t seem to care all that much about B. He contributes very little to the case (it would be fair to say that Naomi solves the case), the manga implies that he doesn’t even really remember it, first!L is not real, and I’m tired.

[texaslawinformation]

The Holidays During Your Texas Divorce?

If you have need a best Law service, You can get better suggestions from The Holidays During Your Texas Divorce? with the great process!

Family Lawyer Houston: As the old adage goes: you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. This is true to a great extent, however, any person who's going through a divorce can tell you that your spouse can pick to be no longer be your family member simply by submitting a piece of paper to a court. With a few clicks on a keyboard, your life partner can essentially choose a life without you and in so doing can throw your relationship with your children and your extended family into turmoil.

Focus on your Children

Patience during the holidays is important. The ability to take a step back from the situation you're going through with your spouse in order to enjoy the time available with your child(ren).

The reality is straightforward: your kids are not going to remember every present you bought them, or where they sat at the Nutcracker with you. What they will remember is how their mom or dad laughed non stop when "A Christmas Story" cycled through for its fifth showing of the day on a cable TV channel. They'll remember the experience of baking (burning?) some Christmas cookies for Santa Claus.

Unfortunately, kids will also remember if you say some not so nice things about their grandparents. Managing your emotions and how you talk to your kids about what's happening with you and your spouse will set the tone for how your kids ultimately deal with the breakup of their parents.

It's unfair and unrealistic for your kids to understand and put into context the legal case between their parents. They don't know why their parents aren't living together anymore and they can't comprehend the emotional context of why the holidays may be especially difficult for both of you.

While it's not necessary to have a sit down with them, it is necessary for you to provide the stability and consistency that has been lacking since the divorce process began. Nobody is perfect, but divorcing parents can do their best to create a sense of normalcy in a storm of change.

People going through a divorce can often times get caught up in the legal details of their situation and lose sight of what really matters- their kids. The attorneys at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC would generally advise any person going through a divorce to become less an expert on discovery protocol, and more an expert on discovering how to manage your relationship with your children during this difficult time. The emotional aspects to a divorce are not lost on our attorneys and we are eager to assist you and your family navigate your legal matter successfully.

Who gets the kids for Christmas while my divorce is pending?

For the majority of holiday celebrants that are reading this blog post, Christmas Day is the most important day of the holiday season. It is a time for celebration, family and togetherness.

For those parents going through a divorce, however, all three of the aforementioned attributes of Christmas can be thrown into turmoil due to a divorce. The big question for many divorcing parents is who will get to see the kids on December 25th?

The answer, in true lawyer form, is it depends. If you and your spouse have agreed (or been ordered by a court) to follow what's known as a standard possession order during the divorce, then one parent will get to see the kids on Christmas.

Christmas under a Standard Possession Order

Spouse #1 will get the kids from 6:00 p.m. on the day school lets out for the holidays until noon on December 28th. Spouse #2 will get the kids for the remainder of the holiday break until 6:00 p.m. on the Sunday before school is back in session. If you're the parent who had the kids on Thanksgiving, then you will typically not be able to get the kids on Christmas Day.

Christmas When Parents Agree

Another answer to which parent gets to see the kids on Christmas is a little more flexible. If you and your spouse are able to work on a visitation schedule on your own, then it's possible that a better solution can be reached.

People tend to believe that once a judge signs a piece of paper that the sentences in that document have meaning beyond just words on a page. A court's order acts merely as a default setting for parties who cannot agree to something different.

However, if spouses can agree to a different arrangement that better suits them, the court is not going to bat an eye. This is the ideal scenario. There are fewer hurt feelings, and both parents feel like they're having a say in the matter. What's most important is that the kids are able to share experiences on the most important days of the holiday season with each parent..

What not to do during the holidays while your divorce is pending

Divorce Lawyers in Houston: Any person going through a divorce can tell you that while their case is pending they are not fully able to play by their own rules. The court in which their case is being heard has a set of rules that were either agreed to by the parties or were handed down by the judge that the litigants are expected to follow.

Like it or lump it, the behavior of each spouse is being viewed in the context of these rules. A common question clients of the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC ask our attorneys deal with what not to do during a divorce. For the purposes of this blog post, your humble author has selected three important behaviors to avoid. Those include:

> Do not violate the visitation language of your order > Resist temptation to voice complaints about your spouse to the kids > don't build up resentment towards your spouse

Do not violate the visitation language of your order

Whether you and your spouse have agreed to abide by a standard possession order regarding Christmas Break or have crafted a more personalized schedule, it is vital to follow the rules as they have been laid out.

Trust goes a long way and if you violate the trust of your spouse by not dropping the kids off where you agreed to or failing to communicate a change in plans, you may find yourself in court after Christmas explaining to a judge why you weren't following the rules. It's normal to want to see your kids as much a possible during Christmas time. That desire is no excuse to violate court orders.

Resist temptation to voice complaints about your spouse to the kids

This rule can be extended to not asking the kids if your soon to be ex is seeing another person or any other personal inquiry like that. If you haven't already figured it out the kids are much less concerned than you are about petty differences that you and the other parent are experiencing. They want to enjoy the holidays with you (and the other parent for that matter).

Getting back to point number one- there are most likely rules in place from the court that bar you from using derogatory language in front of the kids about the other party to the divorce. In many instances this extends to your family as well. Remove your ego from the equation and have a sip of apple cider with your kids instead.

Don't build up resentment towards your spouse

Finally, don't use the holidays as another opportunity to build up resentment towards your spouse. A useful (corny) saying I use with my own clients is to use the divorce you're going through to get better- not bitter. If this hasn't already been shared with you, I'm happy to do so now: your case will most likely not end up with you on the witness stand telling a judge about the shortcomings of your spouse. Most likely it will end in mediation.

A scenario where you won't even see your spouse as your case essentially comes to an end. With this all being said- the holidays can create an atmosphere of stress and anger if you allow it to. Constantly reminding yourself that you can't see your kids because of your spouse or taking inventory of each eye roll your spouse gives you when you drop of the kids at the other parents is not going to do your kids or you any good. Use the holidays as a springboard for personal betterment.

Can I spend money on Christmas presents?

As anyone who's gone through a divorce can attest to, your life during the divorce process is not what you've become accustomed to as an adult. You are temporarily ordered in most circumstances to restrain behaviors associated with your kids, your financial endeavors and notably your money. Those factors all come to a head during the Christmas season.

The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC are often asked by clients whether or not spending money on Christmas gifts is allowed under a temporary restraining order.

To start off with- a temporary restraining order are orders from a court that are in place at the very outset of your divorce case. Often filed concurrently with the Original Petition for Divorce, a temporary restraining order is submitted to a judge for signature while the parties prepare for either a temporary orders hearing or mediation.

After a judge signs the TRO, they are in place for fourteen days and can be extended for another fourteen upon petition by a party. In Harris County, a TRO can take on different forms but a hallmark of any TRO are orders regarding spending community income.

The short answer to the question posited by the title to this blog post- can a divorcing parent spend money on Christmas gifts- is yes.

A TRO or temporary orders will disallow taking on any indebtedness or limiting the ability of the other parent to utilize credit cards. It's the opinion of this author that these are the most relevant portions of any TRO as they relate to spending money on Christmas gifts.

Generally speaking- as long as you spend within reason there is nothing that explicitly forbids you from spending money to buy your children gifts during the holidays. While it is true that the financial lives of divorcing spouses are restrained due to the divorce action, reasonable expenditures at the local toy store are just fine.

Many, many aspects of a divorce are foreign and unnatural for the parties involved. While the rationale behind the rules are straightforward, the interpretation and ultimate application of the rules can differ from case to case.

It is best to have an experienced law office to represent you and your interests during a divorce. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC offer the sort of representation you deserve. Contact our office today to learn more about the services we are able to offer.

How to Save money during the Holidays?

Houston Family Law Attorney: The holidays are expensive. You don't have to talk to a lawyer to figure that out (though I would argue that it helps). Gifts, decorations, travel and fancy foods can quickly eat into your bank account if you don't watch out and act carefully when pulling out your credit card.

Being involved in a family law case- whether a divorce, modification or other matter- can make an already difficult situation worse. Spending money on an attorney is a necessary expenditure in most cases but an expenditure nonetheless. How then can you minimize financial stresses during this time of the year while attempting to have yourself a Merry Christmas? Some suggestions include:

> forget the fancy gifts for your children > limit travel to driving distance > Christmas is not a competition

Forget the Fancy Gifts for your Children

Despite their protestations to the contrary, your kiddos will not remember if you got them the exact action figure, video game or cell phone that they've wanted for months. They just won't. Opening up a gift is a fleeting memory for most kids and your bang for buck ratio is not very good.

The attorneys at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC would advise temperance at the toy store this year. Instead- why not plan a Christmas hike with the kids while you're together this holiday season? Texas winters barely qualify for cold and a nice walk is good for the soul, the mind and the pocketbook.

The inverse of our rule about kids not remembering gifts is that kids do remember experiences. Helping your child climb a tree or skip a stone on the neighborhood pond is going to stick with them much longer than ripping open some wrapping paper.

Limit Travel to Driving Distance

Suggestion number two for saving money is to limit travel to those family and friends that live within driving distance. Resist the temptation to jet-set for far flung destinations and instead opt to jump in the family cruiser to see the relative that you've been neglecting but lives virtually around the corner.

Your family member in sunny California will understand if you skip the typical Christmas get together in the pricey Golden State and stay closer to home. Again, our previous point about kids not really remembering the expensive gifts rings true here as well. Plan family based activities close to home and you'll score a double net positive of saving money and building memories with your immediate and extended families.

Christmas is not a competition

If you know that your spouse is going to engage in an all out holiday offensive- complete with gifts up the wazoo and a fancy trip during their periods of possession- try going the opposite direction.

Kids are intuitive and they understand when mommy and daddy are going tit for tat on spending money. They'll use that to their advantage and in so doing you'll be teaching the kids a bad habit about what this time of year is really about. Tamper down the spending and resist the temptation to keep up with your soon to be ex spouse.

How can I reach the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC during the Holidays?

Houston Family Lawyers: Whether you are a current client of the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC or are simply looking for representation on a Family Law case, our attorneys are only a phone call away- even during the Christmas season. While our lawyers and office staff will not be in the office on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, you are able to contact our office 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year with questions or concerns.

The majority of our lawyers and support staff have voicemail messages sent directly to their phones or email addresses making quick responses possible even during the holidays. We understand that not all family matters during this time of year can go smoothly. So if your drop off/pick up of a child doesn't go smoothly and you have a question for your lawyer or paralegal or if you realized that it's time to start the divorce process- our office is just a phone call away. The Contact Page for the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC includes details on how to reach our office by phone and how to schedule an appointment with your legal team once the holidays come to a close.

The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC wishes you and your family the best holiday season possible- even if your family has seen better days. A friendly staff member will assist you as quickly as possible upon receipt of your call.

No two divorces are the same and the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC understand this as well as any family law firm in southeast Texas. Please contact our office today to learn more about the services our office can offer in your family law ... Continue Reading

[ispywaldo]

For those of you who STILL think women be out here complaining about “all forms of intellectualism, opting instead for stupider men and not for men who care about the mind and the development of our thoughts and whateverthefuck” (TLDR: we ain’t)

Let me preface this by saying that both me and my current boyfriend go to one of the top universities in America, that we met each other through the honors program of our school, and are generally very smart people in the subjects we care about. We both care about learning. We both care about figuring stuff out we didn’t before, solving problems, and Doing Shit (tm) 

The characters: 

Me: A History Major

My Toxic Ex: A Math guy, did coding 

My Current Bf: A comp-sci/math double major

Me: (Jokingly) ALL FOOD IS CORN. ALL HAIL OUR CORN OVERLORD, OUR CORN KINNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

My Toxic Ex Bf (TEB): actually though, it’s not just corn. It’s various forms of corn. You can’t just say all corn because that isn’t really what it is. First of all, there are various different plant species of corn. Then there are also various different kinds of corn products like corn syrup and cornstarch aren’t the same thing (bla blah balaaadibaladkfl) 

My Current BF: ALL HAIL ALL HAIL ALL HAIL THE CORN KING!!!!!!!

Me: (says something dumb I think is correct about computers or coding or something) 

TEB: (gives me a face to signal that that’s not remotely correct, and how could i not understand something so basic, despite knowing me for two years and understanding that I basically havent touched a computer in my life) that’s not true at all. (Proceeds to over-explain a concept I neither know anything about or really particularly care about learning, often using large and “intellectual sounding” words to signal his Vast and Superior Knowledge (tm) on the subject) 

BF: (fully understanding that I understand no technology past 1960 cuz im an old school hoe) LOL. NO. LMAO. Oh bby. Oh bby i love you so much but noooooooo. no. (proceeds to give me a very simple and quick explanation, laughing with me, and not at me) 

Me: bby i miss youuuuuu (sweetly, jokingly) 

TEB: listen, every time you say i miss you it honestly feels like you’re asking too much of me. Like i cant always be there for you. I don’t understand how you could miss me you saw me yesterday. What more do you want me to do

BF: lol youre so funny you saw me yesterday. I love you too you dumb butt

Me: (at a taco store) what the fuck is baja fish? Is that like... a place fish come from... or a specific fish Type... or like... a way of cooking fish... or 

TEB: (doesn’t matter if he knows what the fuck it is or not, he will give me some explanation of whatever it is he THINKS it is at the very least) (fully aware I grew up in a bilingual household and occassionally don’t know basic shit) 

BF: huh i have n o c l u e. It’s good tho do you want some of mine cuz im gonna order it. 

Me: I want,,,,, game on computer,,, compoop is bad

TEB: (complex reasons I can’t play games on my current computer and what specs are wrong and what specs i would need and if i want to buy a new computer i should do x, y, z) 

BF: (fully understanding that I already fucking know that my laptop is shit because if you look at it it’s literally falling apart) lol if you really want to invest in a gaming laptop i can look at some with you 

Me: (says an opinion on something that I’ve thought a lot about and would like to rant to my love about) 

TEB: I agree, but (plays devil’s advocate. like he always does. for literally everything) 

BF: hmm yeah I think you’re right. 

Here’s the motherfucking thing y’all: my current boyfriend is really smart. He’s really, really smart. He’s deeply passionate about what he studies, he loves solving complex problems, he’s into the things he loves and I’m into him. 

I’m also very smart. Like really really smart. i’m deeply passionate about what i study and i love solving complex problems. I’m into things I love, and he loves me. 

My ex boyfriend, who, in case you were wondering, knew me for and dated me for much longer and should have known me better than my current boyfriend, was also very smart. very passionate. 

so what’s the difference? My current boyfriend and I know that the other person is smart. It doesn’t matter if either of us says or does soemthing stupid. It doesn’t matter how many times we ask a dumb question, an “obvious” question. If we don’t know something that seems like common sense to the other, it doesn’t fucking matter, because we each respect each other, know the other person is smart, and any lack of information the other person might have doesn’t fuck with that or make it any smaller. we are each intelligent in our own ways, know our own specific information, have lived our own specific lives, and that’s okay. 

My ex though? He didn’t feel smart unless he was proving it, and he had to prove it by being smarter than others. He was “smart” because he was smartER. No matter what I said, whether it was a joke, or obviously something I might not know given my context, he would immediately correct me, immediately fix my ‘mistake,’ immediately argue the counterpoint (whether he agreed or didnt). He couldnt take a joke bc he was too busy thinking of ways to try to seem smart. 

Both of these people were smart, and i’ll admit that, as much as I hate my ex boyfriend, but one of these people is confident in their own intelligence and doesn’t feel the need to drag others down whereas the other was obsessed with belittling others as proof of their magical brain and passion for academia. 

It’s a red flag ladies, if you didn’t already know it. These are the kinds of people that need to make you feel small in order to make themselves feel big, and that gets ugly really fast. For example, my ex boyfriend ended up sexually abusing me. So yeah, I don’t fuck around with this, and neither should you. 

Never be with anyone who makes you feel small and doesn’t let you be stupid sometimes. You should feel safe in saying dumb things. We’re human. You can’t be perfect all the time, and you shouldn’t be expected to be. 

[beccaland]

What are your opinions on the RTD era's companions' relationship with the Doctor? 'Cos personally, they bother me a little sometimes, and I was curious what your opinion was.

Yeah, they bother me a little too. I’m actually going to share some thoughts about the characters themselves, as well as their respective relationships to the Doctor. Partly, I want to do that because not to do so would be an injustice to the characters. So, here goes.

Rose (and Mickey a bit, because you can’t really separate an analysis of their characters and he’s a companion too):

Rose is a charismatic character, and I think just right for relaunching the series. She’s young and displays many of the flaws of young people, yet in other ways is more mature than other adults, including her own mum–indeed Rose is often seen taking on a role of parenting her parent. While Jackie seems content to live off the dole, Rose has a job. It’s not a particularly good job, but she seems to be given a fair bit of trust and responsibility, probably above what her official position warrants, which suggests that she’s earned the admiration and reliance of her boss–and given her home life, that’s not surprising. Rose is clearly used to having to be more responsible than her peers. She’s vibrant, curious, compassionate, and brave.

She also takes advantage of Mickey’s affection for her, perhaps without realizing it (at least at first). She’s pretty judgy generally, and she’s not above using the Doctor as well. This suggests that despite (perhaps in part because of) being brought up by an emotionally immature parent and having to take on a lot of responsibility before she was really old enough to bear it, Rose is quite selfish.

Now, as to her relationship to the Doctor, meeting him does two things for her: it gives her an apparently easy escape from a life she feels trapped in, and it gives her the opportunity to develop a relationship with someone unlike anyone she’s ever known, who seems to see potential in her far beyond what any other person in her life has ever shown (especially Jackie and Mickey), and who is both willing and able to protect her and to care about what she feels and wants. Am I saying the Doctor started out as more of a parent-substitute than a boyfriend? Yes I am. Is that kind of creepy? I think so. But not necessarily more creepy than him being her boyfriend, given the age gap.

OK, so Rose gives Mickey a kiss and obliquely tells him “thanks for nothing” before swanning off with the Doctor. By the time she comes back, a year has passed for everyone she knows but just one day for her. This causes ENORMOUS problems for Jackie and Mickey in particular, and she does seem genuinely sorry (well, sorry to Jackie–she seems mostly annoyed with Mickey’s anger AT BEING SUSPECTED OF MURDERING HER. BECAUSE SHE RAN OFF WITH AN ALIEN). This gets swiftly brushed aside by alien shenanigans, and Rose swans off again–leaving Mickey apparently in some doubt as to their relationship status. The nature of her relationship to the Doctor is also left ambiguous at this point, but she’s clearly not thinking of him as “substitute for parental acknowledgement and affection” anymore. She flirts like crazy with Jack who flirts like crazy with both her and the Doctor and both she and the Doctor seem vaguely jealous of the other’s attention to Jack. Back to Mickey meeting them in Wales, who apparently STILL DOESN’T KNOW that Rose has basically dumped him, and does she make that clear? No, but the Doctor is acting more and more like a jealous boyfriend (and really doesn’t stop treating Mickey like garbage until the poor guy saves them and stays behind in Pete’s World, thus earning his respect, I guess, and also removing the threat), and none of this is Mickey’s fault. He’s astute enough to see, at least, that the Doctor and Rose’s relationship is destructive to others.

After the Doctor regenerates, they’re 100% in couple mode, with Rose referring to the events of S1E2 as their “first date” and the Doctor happily assenting to this characterization (has Rose actually broken up with Mickey yet? Honestly can’t remember, but I don’t think Mickey knew it if she had). The Doctor and Rose have a deeply codependent relationship. We might attribute this to her dysfunctional relationship with Jackie and the Doctor’s recent PTSD. They latch onto each other like needy puppies, and this isn’t a criticism, because there are really people who fit these profiles, and they are not bad people, and it does make for interesting characters and good storytelling, but it’s by no means a healthy depiction of a relationship.

Consider, for instance, that the Doctor tries to send her away (no doubt he felt he was making a noble sacrifice, but he did this against her clear and repeatedly expressed wishes, and with the complicity of Pete). Rose ignores the Doctor’s clearly expressed wishes and comes back, which, fair enough I guess, but it all ends in tragedy anyway. So what does he do? HE BURNS UP AN ENTIRE SUN just so he can say goodbye. I mean, I’m sure he verified it was not an inhabited solar system, but seriously. In that goodbye chat, he specifically tells her that they cannot get across the barrier between universes because “the whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse.”

Does Rose accept the judgment of the person who is unquestionably the foremost person in either universe able to evaluate the risk of such an attempt? No she doesn’t. We learn in series 4 that even before the stars started going out, she was having Torchwood build a DIMENSION CANNON to P U N C H. A. H O L E. IN THE UNIVERSES!!! like presumably as many as it took for her to find the right one. Just so she could get back to him. AFTER HE MADE IT CLEAR THAT IS NOT WHAT HE WANTED. BECAUSE IT WOULD DESTROY THEM. This is portrayed as romantic rather than horrific. Seriously. And then he dumps his problematic clone on her and goes back to his own universe. SO ROMANTIC. Sorry, I try not to be rude about Rose’s relationship with the Doctor. I think it’s actually an interesting dynamic that makes sense in context, but it really bugs me that so many people view it unproblematically, and it bugs me even more that people don’t imagine both Rose and the Doctor growing out of it. Like, I can’t lie: I think that’s wacked and super unhealthy, in much the same way (though to a lesser degree) as the Twilight series and its fans are, except Doctor Who is still better-written and far more interesting.

That said, I’d be willing to read a well-written fix-it fic that depicts them growing out of their unhealthy codependent dynamic while staying together romantically. TBH I’d be more interested if it were Rose and Tentoo because then it would be canon-compliant, but I’m not too picky on that point. I AM picky about it not even remotely disrespecting the relationship the Doctor had with any other companion though. And it would have to have a whole “you were so obsessed with me that you were willing to destroy an unspecified number of universes, INCLUDING THE ONE YOUR FAMILY AND BEST FRIEND WERE IN, just to see me again for a brief period of time before this universe also collapsed WITH US IN IT and honey, that’s actually CREEPY AND GROSS even though I thought it was super sweet at the time, but in my defense the universe was already ending at that point anyway and you don’t have that excuse because in your case it was PREMEDITATED” conversation because otherwise I won’t believe they’ve actually grown as people. Also it’d be nice if it were funny more than angsty (but lbr you can’t write what I’m talking about without a fair amount of angst). So, y'know, if anyone has actually written that fic lmk.

Meanwhile, there’s MARTHA.

OK so I’m on record about how awesome Martha is. This is already getting long so I won’t belabor Martha’s total awesomeness as a character, but even though I got a bit tired of dysfunctional family relationships in New Who, it was novel to see them have any ongoing family relationships at all, and Martha’s was particularly rich, partly there were so many of them for her to interact with, thus revealing lots of different facets of her character. And despite her fractious relationship with them, she remained fiercely loyal, which was an interesting source of tension between her and the Doctor, and one that diverted attention away from the dental-drill painfulness of the unrequited love subplot.

It’s super gross that the writers made her hung up on the Doctor all the way through series 3. Not because it’s ridiculous for an intelligent, perceptive, professional young woman to be hung up on an emotionally unavailable man. No, that really happens to actual human beings (and again, possibly related to serious parental issues, so it’s not even without narrative justification). Handled with any sensitivity at all, it could have made for a lovely level of complexity. What really bugs me, and I’ve also written about this before, is how the Doctor treats her like GARBAGE, and this is barely addressed as a problem that he is responsible for. In the end Martha realises her mistake in sticking around for so long, but her attempts to call out his bad behavior in the past fell on deaf ears. Martha is the rebound girl but he acts like he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. Which, IDK, maybe he really doesn’t know? Like for all his 900+ years the Doctor has little previous actual relationship experience and also he’s super blindingly hung up on his high school-esque sweetheart Rose. And it’s not just in regards to Martha’s romantic feelings that he treats her poorly. He also dismisses her VERY VALID CONCERNS about her own safety and well-being when traveling in the past for the sake of his own whims. And he brushes off legitimate questions about how stuff works. Anyway. This is well-trodden ground. As is the fact that RTD later inexplicably fobs Martha off on MICKEY, the only other black companion in the series up to that point, despite having already paired Martha off with a cute, sweet doctor who seemed like a MUCH better fit, and there literally being no narrative reason for them to be a couple in that scene.

Donna! Well, as we all know, Donna is among the best-developed companions ever.

She didn’t start out that way though. She started off as a Deeply Problematic (read: disgustingly misogynistic) Stereotype who was never meant to be more than a one-off, but CT and DT got along so well that they brought the character back full-time, and so we got a lot of deconstruction, exploration, and development of that first impression. And I’ll forever be happy we did. But even in The Runaway Bride, she had moments of surprising depth and pathos. Deep down, Donna was always better than she seemed. The fact that she was the last person (other than her mother) to realize that fact is part of what makes her so compelling.

Her relationship to the Doctor is also the least problematic, because they’re both on the same page about being platonic bffs. To be fair, part of the reason he does make sure this is clear from the outset is because he has finally realized how he hurt Martha (NOT THAT HE EVER APOLOGIZED TO MARTHA FOR THAT–for a guy for whom “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” was basically a second catch phrase, Ten actually sucks at apologising to the people close to him). Unlike Martha, the Doctor doesn’t overlook Donna or brush off her concerns. Unlike Rose, he is not codependent with her. Donna calls him on his BS, and he listens. She helps him to face his emotional vulnerability rather than running from/shutting out potentially scary personal relationships (like with River and Jenny). The Doctor helps Donna to see that she really is brilliant and important, and she grows to believe him.

That’s not to say that Donna’s character was handled perfectly. No, indeed. Even after her first story, we’re repeatedly subjected to jokes about her desperate need for and inability to get a man. Even the Doctor, who is otherwise kind to her, takes these jokes for granted and sometimes participates in them. At the end of series 4, we’re shown that the one person in the universe that Mr. Pansexuality Personified, JACK HARKNESS has no interest in flirting with is Donna Noble, the man-hungry middle-aged slightly overweight loud temp from Chiswick. And then, of course, the Doctor denies her agency and takes away her access to the memories of everything she saw, everything she did, everything she discovered about herself while traveling with him. Just so he wouldn’t have to see her die. It was selfish of him. She made her choice and he ignored it to spare HIMSELF pain. But, y'know, at least the Doctor cheated the lottery to make her rich as a wedding present to a very attractive, kind-looking, and clearly adoring man–right before he regenerated. So she did get a happy ending.