#not just because he's a detective with heavy sherlock inspiration

[whalemarch]

please bring him back </3

[seimeinotaka]

Rêverie (An OberonXGudako fic)

MASSIVE LOSTBELT 6 SPOILERS INCLUDING OBERON'S PROFILE AND BOND CE

Summary: Oberon has been unexpectedly summoned to Chaldea. He wonders why he is even there as he reminisces what happened in Avalon Le Fae. But it seems Ritsuka isn't leaving him alone, much to his annoyance.

Thanks to jellyfishy for beta-reading this!

Once again, the story has major spoilers for LB6, Oberon's profile and Bond CE, as well as important plot points of Solomon, LB1 and LB5.

There's implied one-sided love, mentions of heavy topics such as loss, and mentions of deceased characters.

"Master, Master, you've gotten better at this!"

"Thank you, Gogh! I've been practicing a lot using the tips you and Oui gave me. Even Jeanne Alter praised my background, hehe!"

"Hey, I said it was passable. Pas-sa-ble!"

Ritsuka Fujimaru has been drawing something in the cafeteria, surrounded by many servants that come and go. No one asks what she is doing, they all seem to know or if they don’t, they don’t bother to ask.

It is so bothersome. Annoying.

So many people surrounding her, like an ultraviolet lamp that attracts all the bugs. Never mind that they end up getting zapped the moment they ever dare to touch it.

The people, the sound, the merriment, it all annoys Oberon, who only watches in silence as he eats some ice cream with melon.

To be able to smile like that, even after discarding all of those stories...Oberon doesn't hide a crooked smile. In the end, the lostbelts are no more than faint dreams doomed to end, forgotten by the winners, the panhuman history citizens. Ritsuka Fujimaru isn't different. For her, it's like reading the doujin the swimsuit berserker is making. Once the pages are closed, the story ends and it ceases to exist. She can choose to forget.

Truly detestable.

-

Oberon stares and then walks away, just as Ritsuka lifts her face. She looks around, the feeling of being watched faintly breaking her concentration.

But in the end he doesn't say a word as he leaves.

-

“Hey, you keep looking at Master!” Jeanne Alter slams her hands on the table where Oberon is sitting. Said Master is working again, too enthralled talking with Gogh to notice Jeanne Alter slipping away to talk to him.

“Does it bother if I do?” He gives her a crooked smile as she huffs and scowls. Though of course her face turns slightly pink.

“Tch, of course not! It's just your stare is getting on my nerves! Wouldn't you get distracted if someone is looking at you intensely?”

“I am a creation, not a creator. I wouldn't understand what you're saying. Besides, I wasn’t looking at her or you anyway,” he says mockingly.

“Hmph, whatever you say. Leave when Master is drawing, what she is doing is very important and I won't let you make it messy.”

“Hah, a page of your little comic? As if you need a lot of care. But fret not, I am certain that with your keen insight and guidance it will be something so memorable, up to the level of the famous writers here in Chaldea.”

“You bug...Bring it, I will burn you to a crisp! Moths do like fire, don't they? Surely you will feel at home then!” Jeanne Alter laughs. “I'll let you know that it is something so impressive that it would make you cry, if you're capable of that anyway.”

Though her Saint Graph right now is one of a Berserker, it seems the insight of the Avenger still exists deep within. After all, only those who are similar can recognize each other. Fake recognizes fake. Emptiness recognizes emptiness. Hate can only recognize hate.

Though come to think about it, Ritsuka has always been writing, he noticed she kept a small book on her, during quiet times. Perhaps a diary of sorts. It wouldn’t be surprising, to record everything she has experienced, as the writer of the winning history.

-

When we die, we'll become like those stories. Our lives are stories that might be discussed and forgotten, so it's not that different from your midsummer night dream.

A dream you forget once you wake up from your slumber.

“You're a tsundere,” Ritsuka says flatly as she rests her chin on her hand. She even dares to give Oberon a shrug and a smile, as if she can tell the truth between the lies.

“Ah, you're annoying.”

“That's exactly what I'm talking about, hehe!”

An obnoxious smile continues to be on her face, and he simply looks at her with unveiled disgust and apathy.

“Why am I even here?”

“Well, you answered the call, so you can only blame yourself for that.”

“What.”

“The rayshift system call can be refused. That's an inescapable truth. You lie a lot but there are some truths in your words. Or actions in this case. You wanted to be in Chaldea, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

“Ah there it is, your virtuous nature shining through. One day you'll be fooled by someone who is pretending to be your ally...ah, my bad, that has already happened, isn't that right? Maybe you should learn your lesson.”

“Ah, yes. But it doesn't change that you are here. And because you lie often, that means I can just take it whatever way I like. You'll just deny it even if I'm right. But you can't deny we get along pretty well!”

“We do not!”

“See, that's a lie!”

“Ah, I'm going to the cafeteria! Don't follow me!”

Yet we thrive on dreams, don’t we?

“How long do you think I've been in this business? Have you interacted already with some of the servants here? I can tell you don’t mind my company.”

“I quit, I'll break the contract!”

“So, one cube or two?” Ritsuka dares to offer him the sugar cube container, even holding some tongs, just to put the amount he requests in his cup.

“You really want a poisoned tea, right, wonderful Master?~”

Even if they are something that doesn’t exist, we yearn for them, even to make them a reality. No matter how impossible. No matter how painful.

That is why we can never get rid of them.

Even if we forget once the veil of dawn has ended, something of it remains.

-

“There's so much that is subjective. For example, you were Artoria's Merlin, weren't you? For a moment you were Merlin, that was her truth. There's different Merlins, I mean we have different Artorias here from different eras and classes. You were a different Merlin than the one I know.”

Ritsuka is busy trying different colors. Oui and Gogh got into a discussion on how to best get the tones she was aiming for, and they even went to do some research on their own. The reds of a forest seem familiar yet not quite right, not that Oberon was looking at the notebook.

It has to have a dreamlike feeling, that’s what she wanted, but that’s not easy to pour into a painting.

“What we see as a lie or as truth, it changes with our perception. Your lies and my truths might be different, but it's ok. In the end we have only one perspective. That's why lies and truths can mix, that's why contradictions exist. I mean, that is why you are here.”

“Here's some advice from the bottom of my heart, don't quit your day job, Master. Stick to the world saving and leave the philosophical dissertation to virtually anyone else.”

In the end, does the truth really matter?

Something that can change when you close your eyes. Something that is as fleeting as a moth's life.

Would anything change in the grand scheme of things?

To protect Ritsuka, Chaldea forged a story, one where Romani Archaman was at fault for everything that happened.

To the world that is on the verge of disappearing, that became the truth.

To everyone in Chaldea, the truth is that this girl worked harder than anyone to protect this world.

That was what Sherlock Holmes said once they met. Oberon didn’t like him, but in a way he seems familiar. Holmes is a great detective, but since he keeps everything to himself, he might be wrong the entire time until the last minute.

So it’s not like Oberon can take him that seriously.

Even so, he told him the story of the great journey before Panhuman History was at risk by the Alien God. A story of which he was somehow aware, but it seems different when it is told by someone else.

To Oberon, it was a story of selfish survival. A fitting story of those who fight in the mud to continue existing.

To Holmes, it was a story of humanity bravely fighting to avoid destruction. An unlikely event that might have inspired others. Or rather, that is how the Leonardo Da Vinci from that time would have framed it, since Holmes isn’t an author and the current Da Vinci is someone different now.

The events are there, what changes is our perception of them. Perhaps this is where truths and lies take root, the lie of today becomes the truth of tomorrow.

The lie allows the fake existence to continue even when the dream has already ended.

But in the end, everything will fade, so nothing really matters.

-

"Well, I don't know if it has a meaning, but doesn't that mean you can give it your own? Just like how I can take your lies the way I want."

"Aren't you a simplistic one? No, perhaps it is that kind of thinking that has let you get this far. What a naive Master Chaldea has. Though it helps you accomplish your goals. "

He is not sure why they are taking tea while chatting, but here he is. Perhaps it is to hide his annoyance, the Master won’t stop until she gets what she wants anyway, so he is just avoiding a pointless squabble.

"You can think whatever you want~ and in any case, even if the feelings of today will be nothing in the future, that doesn't mean they are worthless. Because they affect the you of today and that is the moment when you are alive.”

The joy of living, that is something Oberon can’t understand nor tolerate. It angers him.

Of course, he is an entity of the abyss so how could he comprehend that?

The will of self-destruction, the cessation of existence. That something is so fundamentally wrong that it must wiped out, for there is no way to fix something that crooked.

Faerie Britain wished for him because it had to be wiped away from all records, because it had no way of being salvaged.

Therefore, he can only listen to those words.

(Perhaps it is the envy of not having something? Perhaps it is the bitterness of no longer having something to do, to dream for? Or simple ennui that no matter what, in the end it doesn’t matter?)

Ritsuka ignores his silence, as she continues.

“I don't know but for someone who likes stories you don't seem like you're actually enjoying them.”

“Would you enjoy a story where you fade away like everyone in the lostbelts you have erased? Ah, my bad. Surely, as the winner you can afford to disregard those stories. Silly me, of course you would be able to believe that as the victor you can claim to be the true history. Panhuman history is in the end mankind's right path, after all, and everything else can fade into the abyss.”

Her smile is complex, almost a facade. From one angle it looks like a forlorn frown, from the other a faint smile. She plays with the spoon on her table.

"Hmmm, I wonder..."

 Dr. Roman, we finally beat the British Lostbelt. It was unlike any other places we were, and I keep thinking of Percival's words...

   I wish you were still here.

The sacrifice of someone can mean the whole world for a single person. The sacrifices of millions can become a mere statistic, a simple cold number to show how bad an event was. In the end, it doesn't matter.

What was once lost will never come back.

The void left in one's soul will never heal, it only becomes more bearable with time.

But even so, that lingering pain is the proof that someone was alive, that they left a mark on the others they met as one looks at the twinkling stars and reminisces of the never-happening-again past.

“Did you know the true opposite of love isn't hate but indifference?”

“Haaah? Perhaps you didn't think so but I was being honest about my suggestion. Thinking too much will only hurt your head. You should only focus on what's in front of you.”

“Whether you love or hate, you end up putting a lot of attention to the object of your affections, but if you're indifferent to it, it ceases to exist. Perhaps your hatred of everything is because there's something you cannot afford to lose.”

Titania was the wife of Oberon in Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream. She was the only one who could accept the king's eccentric personality.

But in reality, she was just a creation for the story, a being who was never real.

Of course, there isn't a person like that in the world.

Someone who accepts a hollow entity like me.

“I don’t know, if Arjuna Alter was able to come to terms with his own humanity, well...nevermind. I was just thinking aloud.”

(Ideals are just that.

A concept not belonging to this world.

It is when you reconcile with the flawed reality that you can grasp your happiness, the one you have.)

“Heh-Hahahaha, that's rich, Master!”

This is so sickening.

Only Titania could have loved(tolerated) such an unpleasant existence. Only Titania could have loved(tolerated) a being born of hate, a destructive force whose only purpose is to rend everything to ashes.

But the fact is, Titania doesn't exist. This means no one could accept someone like him.

That is the unpleasant truth.

That is why people are entranced(poisoned) by falsehoods, lies to sweeten the body and protect the soul. It's a sweet elixir to hide from the harsh reality, the ultimate end of the journey of everyone, a pointless, worthless life. Because at the end of the dream, no matter what one has accomplished, it doesn't change the finale of this story and it is doomed to be forgotten. 

Just as the one princess from before, who also fell in love with the Fairy King. The one who tried to give fire to his cold body. But he didn't notice this, not even when her snow body had ceased to move, a protection of love.

So in the end, if it's not acknowledged, it is the same as it never had happened.

“Tell me, does it matter to you? Are you going to tell me you know how I feel? That you understand what I'm going through? Come on, tell me your important story, that everything is going to be alright as long as I'm not alone-”

“I can't. I don't know how you feel. Even if we had suffered the same, I wouldn't know how you feel.”

Her words or her smile, the same as before. He doesn’t know which but it cuts him short.

“All I know is the pain of losing someone important to me, but that's not what you're feeling, right?”

The Titania I wish for doesn't exist in this world. The Faerie Britain that gave birth to me no longer exists, even if I have accomplished my goal. 

I am merely a dream whose purpose has been fulfilled and thus, the curtain shall be down as I exit the stage.

The things I yearn for are merely dreams. Even so, I hope, because I saw it existed for someone else. For another Oberon, not the one I am.

The illusion of happiness, the hope of a love.

I don't know how it is to not be Oberon, the lying king. The king without any other purpose. The villain that has exited the stage having won, but now even that victory is pointless.

Then, why am I still here? 

“For what it's worth, I like you. You're nice company, lies and all.”

“You’re an odd one.”

“I've been told that often.”

“It's not a compliment, you have no taste.”

“You know, for Panhuman history I am the hero, ensuring our world survives. But to everyone else from every lostbelt erased...I am the worst of the worst, the villain that destroys their world.”

Ritsuka traces the notebook on her hands. The contents of the rest could be disclosed but Oberon doesn’t open any of the other pile of notebooks, so they all lie on her bed.

“Patxi cursed me for showing him a world that he thought was happier than his.”

Tears fell from her eyes as she smiled weakly. “I wonder if that was ever the right choice.”

“Panhuman history isn't the perfect utopia you can imagine. Humans seek hatred and war, there's suffering and agony. While some can lead happy lives, there's so many who can't even enjoy a warm meal or think of a future. Kirshtaria saw that, he wanted to make a better world because ours was so imperfect.”

“Why are we still going?”

“Why was ours the correct one?”

“Even now, I don't know. And I'm not sure if I'll ever know. Any justification might seem a rationalization, something to feel less guilty for killing all those people.”

“That is why I cannot forget, I cannot let the history of those lostbelts be erased. Even if I'm the only one who remembers,” her grip on the notebook tightened, “I can never forget them.”

Like a dream, one time Oberon caught sight of what she was drawing, finally reaching the dreamy red hue she long sought, depicting the autumn forest Oberon knew and hated.

The words depicting what happened in Faerie Britain, the stories of Artoria, Morgan, of Barghest, Baobhan Sith and Melusine, of Aurora, of Mike, of Ector, of Knocknarea, of him.

“Even if the rest of the world forgets, I cannot. That's why I want to record as much as I can. I caused them to disappear, remembering all of them is the least I can do.”

“That's guilt for you.”

“...Yes, I can't deny that. I've caused many people to suffer, that is why I cannot stop.”

“You're an idiot. Pursuing a fleeting dream that will only cause you to hurt, as your heart tears itself apart with these thorns you surround yourself with.”

“I guess. But someone has to do it right? But even so…

“I enjoy the moments with everyone here in Chaldea and I can say I'm happy.

But I also feel deep sadness for everything that I have done and continue to do.”

There are many contradicting truths, woven into each other.

Like overlapping threads in a beautiful(horrible) story.

“I could think Panhuman history is the correct one because it was there. There was a reason why it was chosen.”

“And if there isn't? If there is truly no meaning to your journey? That the reason your world was chosen was a mere whim of fate, a sudden lucky roll of the dice? That there is nothing special to your world that makes you worthy of the title of proper human history?”

“Then I guess I will have to make it so that there is one.”

“And if you can't?”

“Just because I can't doesn't mean I shouldn't try.”

“Trying doesn't mean you will succeed. Morgan tried her hardest, but in the end, she still failed, crumbling in despair as her Faerie kingdom burnt to ashes.”

“Well, that will come bite me when the time comes, but for now, that’s all I can do, right?”

In the end, as long as it entertains, does it matter?

What is the purpose of a story? To bring joy(tears)? To break one from that moment of boredom, of despair, and heal the soul even if just a little?

And in the end, does it even matter?

-

“I like this Saint Graph more.”

It’s been a long time since he has donned the clothes as King Oberon. Once the façade was over, once he could ascend, he has never worn anything but the colors of the depths of the abyss. Anyone else would think they are unsightly, hateful, depressing.

After all, the warmth of King Oberon’s butterfly wings makes children smile, makes people trust him. His monstruous limbs right now are not enchanting.

“I thought you were a butterfly girl. And I have been wearing these ever since, why are you even saying this up until now?”

“I just wanted to say that. I like the fluffy cape and the butterfly wings, but you sound less pained right now. And this outfit is cool too.”

In the end, perhaps Titania isn't meant to be someone who brings the sun to your eyes, with laughter so contagious that she makes the bitterness of a day go away. She's not a neverending warmth on a cold winter, nor a guiding bright star up in the dark sky. She's not the simple to your complicated, the light to your dark, the smile to your frown, the opposite of your miserable existence that brings joy to your life. An illogical being that accepts you in spite of your incompatibility. 

Was I wrong all along? 

A companion when watching a wonderful(decadent) play.

Someone who walks by your side in a crumbling world.

Someone whose company makes the poison more bearable and hell, tolerable.

Someone who simply loves me for who I am. Who gazed at the abyss, saw the void yet didn't run away.

Ah, this is so laughable, an amateur terrible tragicomedy, a hideous play with no sickeningly sweet ending.

(Perhaps it is because Titania is a wretched creature herself. Or perhaps because Titania's wings have been torn off that she understands a small fragment of you. Even if true understanding is a lie, a pipe dream. Titania has seen her own hell and can sympathize with yours, with the emptiness and resentment you hold. Not fearing it, not judging it. Just accepting you as the flawed existence you are.

If that is the case, then there is nothing beautiful about Titania.)

But even so...

"...You are..."

"Did you say something?"

"No, nevermind."

Ritsuka smiles as Oberon looks away. He grumbles about the cramped space as he hoards the bed, swatting a mosquito away while she writes in her diary. The boring stories she writes that he doesn't care about even if his fingers have traced those letters.

But even so, he stays.

Ah, love is a bothersome thing.

-

Thank you for reading!

Now, OH BOY WHERE TO BEGIN. Title comes from Debussy's Rêverie. I wanted to play with it, seeing that Oberon's Bond CE is called Pavane for a Dead Princess, which is the title of a melody by Ravel. I am sure it is no coincidence. Both Ravel and Debussy were considered the cornerstones of Impressionism in music, however, they both HATED being labeled like that.

Pavane for a Dead Princess is one of Ravel's solo compositions for the piano. However, unlike what the title implies, Ravel specifically said that it wasn't meant to be a melody of a funeral, but he wanted to evoke the idea of a princess dancing to the pavane. However, some people didn't really listen to him. So in this case, I think that rather than to see Oberon's CE as a funeral to Blanca, it is a way to celebrate her story, even if it didn't end on the happier note we would have wished. You can listen to it here

Now Rêverie is by Debussy and it's meant to feel like a dream, hence the name. The melody became a massive hit, though Debussy later hated this piece because he felt that he had written better pieces but this one was the one that made him famous. Since it was written when he was young, he felt he was still lacking a lot, but the melody became one of his most popular compositions nonetheless. I think that story ties nicely with what we perceive vs what others perceive. You can listen to it here

Now onto the actual fic, I had this vague idea when part 3 was released, especially after all the spoilers about Oberon's true identity. I really wanted to get him, and I was super lucky. In between getting him, his profile and bond lines being translated, I just got possessed to write this as a way to honor and thank him for coming home AND to give him a sort of happy ending after Avalon.

Oberon in that bed is thanks to that comic on Twitter where he is eating chips without any care and the kind reminder of his voice lines that in spite of him constantly complaining, he spends an awful lot of time on our room. Hehehe.

Best of luck if you are pulling for him! And once again, thank you for reading!

[trutrustories]

Okay, this will be probably long and with many errors (my english isn´t very good) But I saw several posts here on Lokius tag, talking about this ship as result of gay fetish, and about non existing chemistry and  how this ship doesn´t make sense etc… And from what I understood there is tagged Lokius because of genuine interest to understand others point of view, so here is mine: I wil try to explain where my frustration comes from, and how I feel about Lokius, Sylkie, AND representation + some other things which I saw here somewhere. But first of all: I like Sylvie, I don´t hate sylkie shipers, and after so many years reading fan fictions, I don´t mind selfcest – I read weirder things. I have some issues with this ship (the mainlythe fact that it isn´t Lokius), but  this is not one of them. Also, I am not about to tell anyone, they shouldn´t ship sylkie.Ship whatever. And I LOVED the show as a whole. 

I just want to defend my standpoint, that Lokius does make sense, people shipping it does make sense and whether it will happen or not, (I don´t have my hopes very high, and I learned to be very skeptical in this regard ) it is more than just about crack ship, or fetish. I´m honestly blown away that people are still surprised that this ship became a thing :D First of all, let´s look at some romantic story telling and tropes: I mean the way they introduced them in the first two episodes set the tone for all series and how the heck this isn´t romantic? Somehow there are all these romantic tropes existing in a show. They´re just there. Just chilling between Loki and Mobius and large portion of audience can´t even see them. (and some of those tropes were used for Sylki as well, so you could actually see them side by side)

For example: 1) traveling to the apocalypsis 2) breaking law/rules for the other 3) literally changing for the better thanks to the other 4) arguing like old married couple 5) saying secrets, personal things to the other 6) sharing glances, touches, visibly being happy around each other - in case of Loki happier then we´ve ever seen him before 7) being completely themselfs around each other 8) One knowing everything (even the worst) about other and still accepting him completely 9) teasing, being comfortable and domestic around each other 10) one being literally enthusiastic FAN of the other 11) Mobius defending Loki whenever he has a chance 12) Freaking amnesia trope that they pulled of in the end??? (It could be different Mobius, but point is he suddenly doesn´t know him - and Loki knows more, in contrast with the beggining) 13) the jealousy in ep4 14) Misunderstanding - when Mobius thought Loki betrayed him and Loki (thanks to Ravonna) thought Mobius betrayed him... 15) witnessing death of the other and being absolutely broken afterwards 16) The goodbye hug with romantic music in the backround 17) Saving life of the one (even when it means problems for the other ) - like Mobius saved Loki´s ass at least three times when he was trying to stop others from pruning him. 18) sharing deep conversations about meanings of life, freedom and how it would be fun to make some chaos and ride that fucking jet ski!!! 19) Inspiring the other 20) looking for each other (Mobius didn´t believe for a second, that Loki would die in the Void and the way how in the last minutes of the series Loki run through all places they were together when he was looking for Mobius... and I could go on. Point is, even if they are not planning to make Lokius canon, all these things are used on a daily basis to describe romance in media and they are used here. On top of that it´s just very poetic and cute, that this drama queen and powerful god of Asgard who looked down on people would find his match in someone, who is so quiet, ordinary on the first sight, and basically is just human from 90s, who loves jet skis. Mobius can´t even fight. But is highly inteligent and he also happen to be as good manipulator, such as Loki himself. - That´s why they work together so well. Mobius sees right through him and once Loki understands that, he drops his evil persona. Almost nobody expected to ship it for real. But story itself and chemistry between them just made it probably the most exciting duo in the whole MCU. And I mean it genuinely. Third episode, even though it was beautiful and Sophie was great in it (and is literally dipped in bisexual colors), is the least favorite for a reason. And that reason being, there is no interaction between Loki and Mobius whatsoever. Lot´s of people though that series slowed down a bit. Even when in fact there was more action, then when we watched Loki and Mobius working at the TVA.

(and let´s just talk about evil!Mobius narative for a bit and how some people say he is manipulative and toxic for Loki: show itself explore heavy themes and one of them is in Loki´s line: no one bad is ever truly bad and no one good is ever truly good. And as a theme in a fictional world, it is working as it should, for the  story. When Loki and Mobius meet, one of them just killed lots of innocent people and destroyed almost whole city. The other one is a part of fascist organization – and in the beginning of the series they both believe what they´re doing is right. They´re both bad, they´re both good, they´re both broken. And they are changing with the help of the other.) From all reactions I watched - and there was many of them, lots of people actually didn´t see dynamic between Loki and Sylvie as romantic in the third episode. So it´s not like Sylvie and Loki had unequivocally love story right from the start.

The only difference is that lots of people won´t see romantic tropes, when it comes to two men in a mainstream show – show that isn´t primarily about relationships and problems that queer people has to face. Because in super hero story and science fiction we have to warn audience, that they´re about to watch two man in love, right? At this point It´s just frustrating really. There were many M/M dynamics that used similar story line, as for example Lucifer, or X-files, or Bone collectors. -  But unlike those M/M pairings, no one was making fun of people for shipping main characters in these shows. But when it comes to two men suddenly you´ll see from all corners of the internet: “why can´t it be just platonic?” “There is not enough platonic relationships” “why can´t two man just be friends?” (They can and they almost ALWAYS are) and “if you think there something romantic between them, you´re delusional” “fetishist“ “And for god´s sake just let them be friends, Loki needs a friend more then....” oh wait, but Sylvie is allowed to kiss him. Sylvie doesn´t have to be just friend. (And I must say, that I love Sylvie, I liked most of the interactions between her and Loki and I think she is a great character ((I hope we learn more about her in the future)) it just doesn´t work for me as well as Loki´s dynamic with Mobius. Maybe partly because of chemistry between actors, partly because combination of characters and they´re personality and also because I had two whole episodes to fall in love with the pair before Sylvie was even introduced.)

First of all: people can be friends and then evolve into lovers. Not only it is common romantic trope, but it is also the most realistic one. And those relationships are usually strongest. second: If people want to see Loki in a platonic friendship so desperately, why can´t it be a woman for a change? They were acting like chaotic siblings for most of the episode three anyway. The age gap aspect is also very funny. Owen is only about 12 years older (That is not that much. But I imagine, some people would get uncomfortable. But If it was man and woman, most of them wouldn´t even blinked. But two men, that has to be somehow automatically son and father figure dynamic) And If you want to dive into age of an actual characters, then good luck with that in a series about gods, variants and time travel. Almost nobody cares about age gap between Lucifer and detective Decker, or Bella and Edward. On top of that, it was heavily implied, that Loki slept with older, silver haired guy in Ragnarok, so it´s not like he would have problem with that.

Different standards are projected in a way how we see romantic dynamics between fictional characters depends on what we are used to, how are we perceiving world around us, what we are expecting to see and ALSO, what we would like to see, that much is true.  When people are used to make no differences between heterosexual and homosexual pairing, then everything what happens to the characters is measured with the same meter. (Even though I experienced queerbaiting many times (( Once upon a time, Sherlock, Supernatural, Good Omens – the last one hopefully is not the case, but I guess we´ll see)) I also saw lots of lgbt shows like Queer as folks and Sense8.) And when we are not used to see it the same way, well… then it looks basically like that one comment under Castiel´s “I love you” scene on youtube, that said  “what a beautiful friendship”.

If we forget about all that chaotic mess behind the scenes (all those articles and contrary messages)  What is happening in a show between Loki and Mobius can be objectively considered romantic and what is happening between Loki and Sylvie in a series can be objectively considered platonic (until the kiss) and vice versa.  And then to see comments about how absurd it is to even think they have chemistry, and about gay fetish - it´s hard to swallow. I read posts about absurdity of a ship and how there is absolutely nothing that would suggests romance.  Well there is, actually. But whether creators are going to work with it or not, that´s something we can only speculate. They already made Loki officially bisexual. So why should it be so absurd to assume, that there is an actual possibility of romantic subplot between Loki and Mobius? Oh right… it´s Disney and Marvel we are talking about.

So on a subject of bisexuality: Bi people can date whoever they want.  But It is a little frustrating, when there is so many heterosexual pairings in the mcu and disney but when there is a promise of lgbt character (speaking of endgame) we get one line about date from a man we´ll never see again. And when there is a promise of lgbt representation you can´t even blink during movie, or you´ll miss it (Star wars, Beauty and the beast). And then Loki said “A bit of both, I suspect the same as you”. And I won´t lie, I was happy. And I think creators made biggest step yet with this one line (which is honestly terrible, that “a bit of both” coming from Loki of all people, is the biggest step forward.) But they played it VERY safe. Obviously, both Loki, and Sylvie are bisexuals, and in three episodes, we had Loki flirting with female flight attendant, Sylvie talking about her relationship with POSTMAN and then they fall for each other. So the only thing that suggests they are really as bi as Lamentis 1 is that little sentence, that can be edited out, or easily overheard. It´s the bare minimum. And I think that frustration with how freaking slowly we´re moving into some progress is understandable. From all those great M/M dynamics I talked about, those, that could make great love story, nothing happened, because too many people “don´t mind gays but don´t need to look at them” or are scared for their children. In 2021.

It is not a fetish to wish for a gay love story in superhero movies/series. (But anyway, I don´t think there is anything bad about it. Some men like to watch lesbian porn, some woman like to read gay porn. AO3 wouldn´t be were it is today, without people reading and writing slash :D – but that has little to do with what we actually see on tv)

I´m not delusional. As much, as I love these two characters together, I know how little chance it has.  I´m not delusional. I´m just in the future, old and tired, waiting hundreds of years for at least one of my OTP to finaly become a fucking canon.

[highdio]

Could you elaborate on what you said about Dio being somewhat inspired by Holmes?

Sure. My reply’s a little quote-heavy, but it helps establish Araki’s own thinking. Most are from a 2019 Kotoba Magazine interview.

Basically Dio's prototype, BT, is based directly on Sherlock Holmes. For Araki, it's deeper than just an reference: he credits Holmes as the 'guardian spirit' of his life as a mangaka:

If I hadn't read Holmes when I was a boy, I don't know that I would have become a manga artist, or could have drawn 'Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.'

Regarding 'BT,'

I can say it proudly now, Devil Boy BT, my first serialized comic for Weekly Shonen Jump, was a total 'Sherlock Holmes' ripoff. The main character, BT, is Holmes and his companion, Koichi-kun, is Watson. Even his outfits, like the checked suit and hat BT wears in his first appearance, are influenced by Holmes.

Araki learned some lessons from Doyle, like the importance of creating attractive characters and how having a narrator character like Watson allows the MC to retain an aura of mystery, by not having to say too much himself about his own motivations. But imo what's most important to both BT and Dio is how Araki describes Holmes:

What makes Holmes amazing is that he may be a genius, but he's also clearly an asshole.

For Araki, Holmes is a compelling hero because he's not a 'good' guy. Instead, he's sort of a jerk, with antisocial tendencies and a host of faults.

Araki applies this 'charismatic genius who's also an asshole' model to BT, who's a sort of an amateur magician/detective/con artist-type boy hero ... and, later, to Dio. BT's an early version of Dio in every way: his speaking style, his personality and mannerisms, his ego, his intelligence and even his physical appearance (visually, BT’s like a super-simplified version of Dio:

And BT is evil. The series is called 'Devil Boy BT' for a reason, and in every interview I've read re: BT, Araki straight-up refers to him that way:

a bad boy who uses his intellect to outdo his opponents and win through trickery. I aimed for a theme of evil defeating evil. ... The response I got [from Jump's editorial team] was that a 'devil boy' had no place in a wholesome shonen magazine that held to the principles of friendship, effort and victory.'

It's worth mentioning that, for Araki, Evil is simply an alignment: you can have a Devil Boy as your series' hero just as easily as you can have a man who's the 'devil incarnate' as your series' villain. It's their choices - how to act and what to value - and not their evilness that define their roles as either hero or villain.

BT's 'bad' side is what makes him an engaging, even charming, protagonist: 

I titled the series 'Mashōnen' (Devil Boy) because I thought having a hero who's a genius and a ‘good guy’ would be boring.

Araki says he learned that by reading the Holmes series.

ofc when I said Dio's *somewhat* inspired by Holmes, I'm acknowledging the degrees of separation between Sherlock Holmes and Dio - Dio's based on BT who's based on Holmes. Those degrees are pretty significant. BT lies, steals, poisons and maims but he never made a lady eat her own baby. Unlike Holmes and his devil boy successor, Dio's solidly, unapologetically, in the Villain category. But it's worth noting that, when he wrote Phantom Blood, Araki viewed Dio - like Holmes and BT - as a protagonist, with his own upward-rising story arc, rather than as an antagonist defined in opposition to a hero. imo Dio’s centrality to the story allowed Araki to carry over the 'charismatic asshole hero' formula he loved reading in Doyle's books to the ‘villain’ he wrote for his new series.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Steph! Do you have any fics where Sherlock gets possessive and jealous over John... possibly without him knowing? (I don't care if it's NSFW or not)

Hi Nonny!!!

Ahhh, I’ve actually JUST recently posted up my latest “Jealous Sherlock” fics in my Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 5 combo fic list, so you can check those out there! But the reason I’m posting your ask separately is because I have new fics to add to my possessive Sherlock fic list, so YAY! And as always, Lovelies, please add your own Possessive Sherlock fics to this post if you have any!

POSSESSIVE/OBSESSIVE SHERLOCK Pt 2

See also: 

Jealous & Possessive Sherlock

Jealous John Pt. 2 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 2

Jealous John Pt 3 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 3

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 4

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 5

Burn Burn by Jenn1984 (K+, 925 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Angst, Worried / Panicked / Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock) – A week after the events of “The Great Game”, Sherlock returns to 221B Baker Street to find it empty.

One in Ten Thousand by Blind Author (K+, 1,856 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Friendship / Pre-Slash, Discussions of Violence, Worried then Curious Sherlock, Scars/John’s Bullet Wound, Medical Anomalies, Obsessive Sherlock) – John seems to have unusual mobility for a shoulder wound…

The Case of the Missing Blogger by nicknack22 (K, 2,147 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Friendship, Worried / Anxious / Obsessive Sherlock) – Alternately titled, The Case of the Oblivious Consulting Detective. In which Sherlock comes out of his mind palace to discover John missing. 221B does not fair well as a result.

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing, Obsessive Sherlock) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock’s kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

On a Sunday Morning by SD_Ryan (G, 3,136 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock) – Sherlock has a little problem. He can’t stop obsessing about John Watson.

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock, Obsessive Sherlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

Apodyopsis by QuinnAnderson (E, 3,347 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Rough Sex, Table Sex, Anal, Sexual Tension, Obsessive Sherlock) – Apodyopsis: (æpəʊdaɪˈɒpsɪs) noun. the act of mentally undressing someone. Part 2 of Undressed

In the cherry blossom’s shade by Eliane (M, 3,934 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3, First Time / Kiss, Sleeping Together, Pining / Obsessive Sherlock, Minor Char. Death) – This isn’t new. Sherlock has already done this – has gone through cities, and dingy hotels, and sleepless nights but it was different before. John wasn’t there before. They’re in this together.

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

Obsession, Appassionato by shinychimera, Yeomanrand (E, 4,249 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, First Time, Jealous Sherlock, Music / Sherlock’s Violin, Present Tense, Frottage) – John is late, and he hasn’t called, and Sherlock works himself into a state. Part 1 of Love and Ysaye

The Strait of Juan de Fuca by mightypog (T, 6,400 w., 1 Ch. || Vacation, Love Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Canada, Post-TRF, Love Confessions, Obsessive Sherlock) – Sherlock is back and all seems forgiven, but something is missing between him and John. Their friendship initially appears intact, but Sherlock doesn’t understand why John seems to be slipping away. Finally, in terror, he tries to reconnect with John by taking him to the one place that seems to inspire any emotional interest in John any more: the Canadian wilderness. While there, Sherlock faces his greatest fear.

Of Razors, Pipes, Red Notebooks and Rugby Jerseys, Or: Sherlock Doesn’t Like His Doctors Clean Shaven by allonsys_girl (E, 7,313 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., PWP / Porn With Feelings, John’s Beard / Beard Kink, Roleplay, Love Declarations, Banter, Rimming, Anal, Domestic Fluff / Bliss, Idiots in Love, Emotional Lovemaking, Pet Names, Obsessive Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock) – John grows a beard. Sherlock really likes it. Part 1 of Consulting Husbands

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w., 1 Ch. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling, Obsessive Sherlock) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

A Is For Aftermath by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 10,567 w., 1 Ch. || Injury / Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Pre-Slash/Bromance/Platonics, Hallucinations, Introspection, Insecure / Worried John, Big Brother Mycroft, Alternating POV, Anxious Sherlock, Self-Deprecating, Mildly Possessive Sherlock, 3G Moment) – John is still hallucinating, Sherlock cannot sleep, and Lestrade has a new case for them. But will life at 221B ever be able to return to normal? Epilogue to M is for Moriarty.

Always the sun by Rose de Sharon (K+, 12,377 w., 3 Ch. || Song Fic, Alternate Post-TGG, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection / Reflection, Injury Recovery, Obsessive / Protective Sherlock, Nightmares, John’s Past, Bed Sharing / Cuddles) – Sherlock ponders about how much his life has changed since John has become his flatmate.

Pattern Behaviour by SilentAuror (E, 14,835 w., 1 Ch. || POV First Person Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Pining /Obsessive Sherlock, Introspection, Stroppy Sherlock, Light Humour, Friendship, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Wall Kisses, Fluffy Angst, Happy Ending) – Sherlock doesn’t even know why he resents John’s dates so much. Until the day he does know. Slight angst, unrequited feelings (but don’t let that scare you off!)

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John, Obsessive Sherlock) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he’d been craving.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy/Obsessive Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w., 28 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn’t walked through the park and met Stamford?What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn’t It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock’s forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don’t worry, things’ll be fine in just seven days.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because…new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride… prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock, BAMF John) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate’s nose buried in your hair. Whilst you’re in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn’t have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal, Autistic Sherlock) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It’s 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn’t need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it’s a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

[myupostsheadcanons]

Books “Read” in 2020

Previous entries: 2019, 2018, 2017

I don’t rank these based on actual literary quality, but by how much i enjoyed reading/listening to them. Hopefully with Audible’s new “Premium Included” feature it would cut down on so many Average/Below Average books next year, it’ll give me more of a choice on what kind of books/podcasts i want to listen to rather than given a handful to pick from a month.

The “Top 10″

Forging Hephaestus / Bones of the Past: Villains' Code Series - Drew Hayes has became one of my fav authors over the past couple years, from his Vampire Accountant series, 5-min Sherlock, and his Spells, Swords, and Stealth books. FH is one of the few times he wrote Adult Fiction. This is the second time Drew created a world of super heroes (the YA Superpowereds), thus previous experience in dealing with the nuisances and meta of super meta dynamics. I love the main character, Tori, and especially love many of the side characters (like Ivan) and the comedy is the right tone of dark and not-in-your-face (not quite as well -written as something like The Venture Bros or The Tick, but being adult fiction you can get away with having characters named Johnny Three-Dicks and Captain Bullshit)

Dreadnought / Sovereign - the second super hero series I’ve placed on my top list this year, this one is Young Adult. This one is far more serious and deals heavily in issues like trans and women’s rights, mental abuse, and social acceptance. The main character is full of angst, but that should be a given for a 15 yo with lots of mental baggage and new social pressures. The main character is the main draw, most of the side characters are a bit more one-dimensional.

The Trouble with Peace: Age of Madness, Book 2. It isn’t a “First Law” book if you don’t want to strangle half of the main characters. Many are stepping outside of the shadow of the previous generation and finding themselves falling flat on their faces. If they aren’t at each other’s throats, they would soon have to deal with rebellion in the streets and the constant looming presence of Bayaz, who waits to sweep the board clear and rearrange the pieces the way he sees fit.

Michael J. Sullivan’s: The Riyria and Legend of the First Empire Books.

Riyria Revelations: Theft of Swords / Rise of Empire / Heir of Novron

Riyria Chronicles: The Crown Tower / The Rose and Thorn / The Death of Dulgath

Age of Death / Age of Empyre, Pile of Bones

After finishing the Legend of the First Empire books that came out earlier this year, I went ahead and read the prior series that takes place in the same world. I would suggest reading the entire series by Publish order, but they can be read Chronologically. I read the Legends books first, and it helped me see where Sullivan was heading and when he started to plan out the Legends books in more detail. (The early cameo of the Main characters from Legends in a mural in Heir of Novron, and knowing who is behind the events in Dulgath)

The Dresden Files: Peace Talks / Battle Grounds - They really should be read as one book, because that was how they were written. It is a Feast of Crows / Dances with Dragons situation, where the book got too long and got split up. The fans are pretty divided by the book(s) ending and how some of the main characters are handled, but these are Jim Butcher’s characters not theirs and he can drop bridges on whom ever he wants.

What Lies Beyond: Cycle of Galand, Book 6 - This is a “mythology” book (like Sullivan’s Age of Death was) where it introduces most of the Pantheon of their religion and corrects much of the mythology that had been lost over the decades. They seek a weapon to vanquish the Litch and save their world and the afterlife from oblivion, but not all of their Gods are happy about it.

Will Destroy the Galaxy for Cash - Yahtzee (Zero Punctuation!) has to be one of my favorite internet personalities for the past 10+ years, and I eat up every book he puts out and because he wrote the books, and is an actor himself, he could deliver the lines as they are intended to be. The sequel to Will Save the Galaxy for Food does not disappoint and even ups the stakes from the previous book.

The Girl Who Drank the Moon - This has to be one of the most charming books I’ve read. It is magic and wonder at it’s finest, no need for long explanations on how the world works. If you like Ghibli movies, you’ll be interested in this book. It has its dark moments but isn’t outside of what you’ll find in something like Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, and Nausicca.

The Goblin Emperor - the youngest son of the Elf King finds himself emperor after the death of his father and brothers in an assassination. The only problem is, that he is only half-elf... his late mother was a Goblin, and he had been in exile as an embarrassment to the family for most of his life. He knows nothing of how the courts work and what’s left of his own family work against him just for being who he is.

Lost Gods: Brom - I liked this book more than I did American Gods (which I read a few years ago). It is darker and bleaker by the bucket loads. One of the few books with a downer ending that I actually liked. I would compare this book to books like All the Pretty Horses and No Country for Old Men-- but it is a Fantasy!

Above Average.

Siege Tactics (Spells, Swords, & Stealth. Book 4)  - What happens to adventurers after they retire? A fun concept that is explored with our party of NPCs running across a town full of epic-level characters that no longer have a player.

The Arthurian Saga - The Crystal Cave / The Hollow Hills  / The Last Enchantment / The Wicked Day - A more realistic version of the Arthurian tales, taking the POV of Merlin, bastard son of a princess, as he earns notoriety as a scholar and wizard.  The Wicked Day takes the POV of Mordred, making him far more sympathetic than other iterations of his character.

Arc of a Scythe - Scythe / Thunderhead / The Toll - Science and Technology eliminates death and in order to prevent over population and complacency an order of grim reapers are chosen to randomly deal out quotas of permanent deaths. An example of what happens when every need and want is satisfied by a higher force and the apathy that causes rot in human society and the superiority complex of those in charge of life and death.

The Diviners / Lair of Dreams / Before the Devil Breaks You / The King of Crows - Horror during the Roaring 20′s. Tackles issues as Racism, Poverty, Government Secrecy, Christian-Evangelical Cults, Nationalism Cult Mentality, Communism, Labor Unions, Eugenics, Post-WW1 trauma... It could almost pass as an adult fiction book. I wouldn’t recommend giving it to someone under High school age.

Ancillary Justice / Ancillary Sword / Ancillary Mercy - Artificial Intelligence takes over human bodies as a form of capital punishment, controlling ships and space stations. The dominate human empire outgrew the need to label any gender, using “she” to refer to everyone rather than the vaguer “them/they” pronouns, and only outlying colonies stick to the binary ideals. Think of “The Left Hand of Darkness” but on a more broader scale and as the default majority/ruling empire. Toss in a solid military action novel on top and it isn’t nearly as boring as Left Hand.

Children of Time / Children of Ruin - War destroys the human population of Earth and those that remain are the ones that headed out to the stars on tera-forming missions. A virus created to advance life forms to prepare a world for human habitation runs amuck with out its overseers, creating intelligent arachnids, crustaceans, and squid.

The Licanius Trilogy - The Shadow of What Was Lost / An Echo of Things to Come / The Light of all that Falls -  It is very heavy on info overload, there is a lot to keep track of, so much so there is a summary of book one and two at the start of the third. I like the twist at the end of the first book and that the villain is actually trying to help save the world, and you spend most of the second stuck between who thinks they are doing the right thing and who is actually doing the right thing - a lot to talk about doing the lesser of two evils.

Mythos - Steven Fry - A humorous retelling of Greek mythology. I read Mythology - by Edith Hamilton prior to this book, which is a more scholarly take on the myths, and helps if you are unfamiliar with classical mythology prior to reading Fry’s take on it.

Iron, Fire and Ice: The Real History That Inspired Game of Thrones - a nice history book about Iron Age royalty. It is actually refreshing to read after going through so much faux fiction that is in Philippa Gregory’s books.

Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? - Children ask questions to a Mortician about death and what happens to bodies after people die. I listened to her autobiography last year/year before and it is worth picking up this one along with it.

Average, but still good.

Jack Campbell’s Lost Fleet Universe: Triumphant (Genesis Fleet, Book 3) / Tarnished Knight: Lost Stars, book 1 - The realistic space battles just drag me back in each and every time.

The Case of the Damaged Detective: 5-Minute Sherlock - Drew Hayes can’t write a boring book. It isn’t quite on point as his other series, but still fun to read. Hayes is really good at making YA books with Adult Protagonists. It is a road-trip book, the main character is a washed-out operative that is getting his second chance playing bodyguard and future assistant to the 5-minute Sherlock.

Locked In / Head On - Do you remember “Surrogates”? that Bruce Willis movie where people walk around in robotic avatars, well... it’s almost the same thing. A virus kills millions, save for a select few that experience “lock in” syndrome and are able to connect to robots via their brains and the internet.  The main character is gender neutral and you get a choice to listen to the book with a male or female reader.

Murder by Other Means: The Dispatcher Book 2 - more John Scalzi! The first book was in my top list a few years ago, and i enjoyed the sequel just as much. Between Scalzi’s The Dispatcher and Locked In series, i like the Dispatcher more.

The Shattered Sea Trilogy: Half a King / Half the World / Half a War - Joe Abercrombie’s attempt to make Young Adult books. It keeps all the grim dark, but lacks all the swearing and humor that made The First Law books more enjoyable. Many of Joe’s favorite character tropes are still present and is one of the better “Fall to Darkness” stories I’ve read. It also has different POV characters each book and is one of those “faux fantasy” settings.

Mage Errant: Books 1, 2 & A Traitor in Skyhold: Book 3 - If you are wanting to get away from Harry Potter, pick up this book series. It takes place in magic school, but it is its own world and setting and not just a hidden world within our own. The main group of kids are misfits among the school, unable to master their powers, that get taken up by the badass librarian to be trained in more unconventional ways.

Dawn of Wonder: The Wakening Book 1 - the main character has ptsd from growing up in an abusive household, and i thought it was handled rather well. He would be rather competent and cleaver most of the time until he gets triggered into an episode, he fights really hard to overcome this short-falling of his. Standard classic affair else wise, family leaves home because the local authority figure doesn’t want them around anymore, goes to big city, kid wants to do good and avenge the deaths he was accused of, joins the badass school of hard knocks...  big powerful evil thing trying to consume the world.

The Rage of Dragons - It shares a lot of tropes and story points with Red Rising... just in a fantasy setting, not in space. If you are wanting fantasy with POC main characters and a non-European-centric culture, that doesn’t pull any punches, give it a shot.

Earthsea - Tehanu and Tales from Earthsea - I had read the first three books several years back, and i did re-read them in order to refresh myself prior to reading the final two.

The Secret Garden - I absolutely loved the movie from the 90′s as a kid, and finally got around to listening to the book.

Six of Crows - A heist book in fantasy world with the magic users being heavily “Jewish / Slavic” coded by how they are treated and persecuted. I might have thought more favorably about the book if i hadn’t read other books with “street rat slum” main characters. (Seriously, after spending six books with Royce in Riyria someone like Kas is just second bananas)

Unconventional Heroes / Two Necromancers - Comedic Fantasy, the humor’s not on par with say MogWorld, and has more jokes than Fred The Vampire Accountant. It is still a parody of villains and heroes in fantasy worlds. I would find it safe for a 12/13yo to read, cursing and all, though they might not be aware of many of the tropes that are being deconstructed. The reader of the book did better in this one then he did with Six of Crows and Beezer, still the audio needed some editing because it repeats itself a few times.

Once More Upon A Time (Free Audio Book)  - I don’t always care to read romance stories. I like the idea behind it however, to trade their love for each other in order to save their partner’s life, then learn to re-love one another again.

Monster Hunter International - If you think Dresden is too liberal, this takes a hard turn to the right.. replace the magic with GUNS, lots and lots of GUNS. An organization that hates the government but hunts monsters for government bounties. The main cast is multi-ethnic and they do make fun of that at one point. There isn’t a lot of thought into the plot, because action is #1, but it is fun enough to ignore the politicking.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Collection - i bitched about there not being an omnibus last year, and then Audible uploaded one. The ending is still one big clusterfuck.

Stephen King’s Insomnia - this book is the bridge between Steven King’s two universes. It is a sequel to IT and brings up the Darktower often. IT dealt mainly with childhood fears, Insomnia deals with Elderly and feminine fears.

D’Arc / Culdesac: War with No Name - I liked D’Arc more than i did Mort-e, and Culdesac is more on track with Mort-e. The virus that mutated the ants and animals reminded me of the virus from Children of Time/Ruin, even though i read Mort-e first, reading D’Arc after CoT let me notice it.

Michael McDowell’s:  The Amulet / The Elementals / Gilded Needles / Blackwater - From the guy that wrote the screenplay of Beetlejuice, and the pioneer of the Southern Gothic Horror. Gilded Needles is a bit out of place, taking place in 1890′s, and is more of a social horror rather than a super natural horror the other books are.

Gardens of the Moon: The Malazan Book of the Fallen, Book 1 - high fantasy dark fiction. if you really want some CHONKY door stoppers, there’s over 10 of them in this series. Could’ve done less with the manipulative bastard mage that speaks in 3rd person. I had read The Willful Child, an attempted comedy science fiction novel by the same author, and it showed that the author was unfamiliar with that kind of genera and should stick to grim fantasy.

The Knife’s Edge / Citadel of Fire: The Ronin Saga - This is one of those series that I’m always going “oh, that reminds me of [insert another better series]”  At times it reminded me of The Licanius Trilogy, Shades of Magic, Arc of Scythe, Riyria, Korra... It is just shy of being as good as them, and is rather firmly in that Sci-Fi Fantasy Ghetto and has a bit of “anime” feel to it with their magic users having ‘power levels’ and the power creep. 

In Calabria - My only problem with the book is the massive age-gap between the Main character and his love interest. Outside of that, the whole Unicorns in the modern world concept is done very well.

Pout Neuf (Audible Free Book)  - Journalism and romance during WW2. A quick read and the book really shows that research had been done about the setting and time period.

Nut Jobs: Cracking California's Strangest $10 Million Dollar Heist: An Audible Original - Not only does it talk about the heist, it actually touches on the subject of migrant farmers and slave labor, as well as the desertification of the California Valley.

The Science of Sci-Fi: From Warp Speed to Interstellar Travel (Free Audio Book) - a neat little informative podcast if you are looking for an introduction to some of the harder science fiction.

Mythology - by Edith Hamilton - Text book about Greek Mythology. Like “used in schools” text book. It is a good read if you don’t want to go through Ovid, Virgil, Homer, and all the other classical writers on your own.

The Space Race: An Audible Original - America didn’t win the Space Race. Russia did just about everything first. The only thing we did first was put people on the moon. It also goes into detail about how the inventor of the Nazi’s V2 rockets became employed with the US Space program. As well as the government’s announcement to let space travel become privatized.

Pale Blue Dot / Cosmos: A Personal Voyage - It’s Carl Sagan. Come on! Everyone should be reading them. Pale Blue Dot was being turned into an Audiobook in the 90′s but with Sagan’s death, only the first few chapters were read by him and his partner reads the rest of it (she does a decent job, and i understand why they wanted her to read it, it should’ve been done similarly to Cosmos, with guest readers doing each chapter)

Thicker Than Water (Free Audio Book)  - start up pharmaceutical company scams people out of millions with promises of a miracle machine that was ahead of its time. Story told from the whistleblower himself as he recounts what his job was within the company and how he knew the owner/founder of the company and how coming out about what was going on ruined his relationship with his family and friends.

Don't Panic: Douglas Adams and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - biography on Douglas Adams and the history behind the creative process behind the Hitchhiker’s Guide series.

The Genius of Birds - It reminded me a lot of “The Soul of an Octopus” in quality. It is rather informative about birds, how they behave, and how we judge intelligence in non-human animals.

It’s “ok.”

Les Miserabes - I can see why people favor movies and theater versions because of how dense the book is, getting the cliff notes version of the book instead of reading several chapters about the Battle of Waterloo. 

Viva Durant and the Secret of the Silver Buttons (Audible Free Book) - It’s cute, and I spent the next several weeks humming that freaking song.

Challenger Deep - A book about mental illness by the same person that brought us The Arc of a Scythe series. It isn’t a bad read, but if you are prone to get panic attacks and have mental illness yourself, you might get too into it and make you uneasy. It can help with neurotypical people with understanding how some illnesses work.

Into the Wilds (Warriors, Book 1)  - Ah, the cat book. It is prob because there are soooo many books in this series that it over-saturates the kids impressionable minds.

House of Teeth (Audible Free Book)  - I read this book prior to Monster Hunter International, and thinking back on this one, i am reminded about the other. Save for this one is PG. So... the kid friendly version.

The Martian Chronicles - Space Horror, on Mars. If you like old science fiction, like Classic Trek, Wells, or Forbidden Planet stuff. There is a lot of zerust.

Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection - The third superhero series I’ve read this past year. It is not as ground breaking nor subversive as Villain’s Code or Dreadnought. The humor is a bit too forced and parts of it falls into “we can be more offensive because it is an adult book” category.

Interview with the Robot - Don’t really care for books or programs that are set up in the “interview” format where it is two people talking to one another. (I have no fucking idea how this book got top Kids book of the year on Audible, it is more of a YA book... it must been because it was Free and lots of people picked it because the rest of the choices that month were complete garbage)

Micromegas - perhaps one of the oldest examples of Speculative Science Fiction. Written by Voltaire, it is about a giant from another solar system that is so big that humans and life on Earth are microscopic. “what value are the lives of ants to a man?”

The Three Musketeers - i had forgotten how much espionage there was in this book. I would say this is a good companion book to Don Quixote, as it takes its fair share of inspiration from and even name-drops the character a couple times. 

Charles Dickens: Oliver Twist / David Copperfield / A Tale of Two Cities - DC is the standout IMO among the three, it is Dickens’ Magnum Opus. Les Mis did a far better job with the Revolution than Tale did as well. I felt rather obligated to reading these books because of the subplot in the Age of Madness books being about Poverty during the Industrial Revolution and Workers Revolts against the Ruling Class.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - the version i listened too made most of the Americans sound like GWB... which is funny because one of them is Canadian, and the Comic Relief character about how boorish Americans are.

Stuck (Free Audio Book) -  it is a neat idea, getting jarred free of time but everybody else isn’t and doesn’t remember. It gets a little heavy for a kids book near the end, edging into YA territory as the character gets older mentally and the people around him age physically.

Phreaks (Free Audio Book) - i knew a lot about Captain Crunch and other phone hackers of the 60′s. There is a subplot of the big radioactive corporation covering up causing cancer to their workers, and the father (voiced by Christian Slater) being in the closet but still homophobic about it.

Silverswift (Free Audio Book) - If you like fairy tales set in modern times, it is worth a look. It is similar to In Calabira in that way. The mom being the nonbeliever and thinking grandma is off her rocker, but the granddaughter knows it in her bones that grandma is telling the truth.

Sleeping Giants - alien mechs from the distant past, once mistaken as the titans and gods form mythology, now being studied and experimented on by the government. This is another “interview style” story telling.

Celtic Mythology: Tales of Gods, Goddesses, and Heroes - there is a lot of names and stories, it is worth prob getting a physical copy of the book to keep things straight and to use as a reference.

How to Defeat a Demon King in Ten Easy Steps - A love letter to The Legend of Zelda’s Ocarina of Time and other RPG games.

Casino Royal: James Bond - the movie was rather faithful, including the part of being tied to a chair. I do wish they kept more of the book’s ending where Bond was ready to retire prior to his secret-spy love interest gets killed.

Aliens: Bug Hunt - a compilation of Alien stores about people landing on various planets and encountering aliens, not always the Xenomorphs we know, but the term “Bug” came synonymous to any dangerous alien lifeforms encountered.

Macbeth: A Novel - retelling the story of Macbeth but in a novel form. If you can’t get past the language of the original play, this would help. It sets it more firmly in historical fiction.

Hannibal: A Novel -  I went ahead and re watched the tv show after finishing the book. I’ve seen the movie a dozen times, and i understand why they changed the ending to the movie. The book is the main one that characterizes Hannibal and the show uses a lot of the plot. Hannibal Rising wasn’t really needed because Hannibal (in this book) does think/talk about what happened to his sister and home, and i can see why Harris didn’t want to write that book either. The audiobook is rather poor quality, they talked too fast in places and i don’t really care for their acting...

The Power of Six - I read I am Number 4 several years back and this one popped up on sale so i nabbed it. I like Neil Kaplan, and i think this one is better than the first one and actually gets into the meat of the story.

Cut and Run: A Light-Hearted Dark Comedy - body parts harvesting.... mmmm.

Calypso - non-Fiction, biography of the author. Talks about his family, his life with his partner, and what he does. Much of it is charming and it is read by the author. this was prior to him loosing his marbles about retail workers and becoming a karen.

Our Harlem: Seven Days of Cooking, Music and Soul at the Red Rooster - the history of Harlem and the Harlem Renaissance. I didn’t mind this podcast so much because i was reading The Diviners during the same time.

Malcolm and Me - another biographical book. one of the free books i got during Feb’ Black History Month.

History of Bourbon (Free Audio Book) - Informative about the liqueur industry in America.

Junkyard Cats: Shining Smith Book 1 - post apocalyptic action science fiction novel. the moment that guy showed up i was “that’s your bf.” and it was so... the plot wasn’t hard to figure out, it’s all about the action and setting.

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress - One of the better Heinlein books. The man can’t write romance and he is rather big on casual polygamy and open marriages. An anarchist-revolution book written by someone that is more on the Libertarian side of the aisle. Mycroft (the computer) comes off as rather antiquated, an AI that runs on a closed server, communicating through the telephone lines and printed paper, makes me wonder what Heinlein would’ve done if he was told about the internet and Deep Fake tech. (the book takes place in like 2075, but written in 1966)

Caffeine: How Caffeine Created the Modern World - the production of coffee and it’s prevalence around the world.

The Life and Times of Prince Albert - Exactly what it says on the can. *rimshot*

The Real Sherlock: An Audible Original - a biography of Sir. Arthur Conan Doyle.

The Design of Everyday Things - using psychology to improve the design of systems, products, and the modern business model.  It gives proper terminology for several common design features and how to improve on existing structures.

Bottom of the Barrel.

The Pagan World: Ancient Religions before Christianity. I was hoping there would have been something in there about European Religions, there isn’t, and the book was mostly Greek and Roman life styles and how gods are worshiped. It let me know where the word “auger” came from and why it was used in the Licanius Trilogy.

Life Ever After - disjointed at best. a couple that aren’t good for each other spend the next several hundred years in a crappy relationship.

Beyond Strange Lands: An Audible Original - The audio was complete crap on half of the voices. Which is bad because this could’ve been better. It is a Pod Cast Show and the director couldn’t make sure everybody had decent recording equipment and the sound effects often drown out the actors.

Henrietta & Eleanor: A Retelling of Jekyll and Hyde: An Audible Original Drama - They were going for a modern telling, but the language used is archaic. They speak like Dickens characters even though they talk about cellphones and computers.

A Crazy Inheritance: The Ghostsitter book 1 - The concept is there, but it is too nerfed. It was made for the 8-12yo crowd in mind by people that don’t know how to write for children.

Tell Me Lies (Free Audio Book) - It really wants to be smart. Who’s playing who and who is the actual villain of this story? If you want a quick “who done it?” maybe look into it.

Evil Eye (Free on Audible Plus) - told through phone calls between a mother and daughter. The whole genera of evil boyfriends/husbands isn’t really my cup of tea, and the boyfriend’s actor was too fake and the set up to the meat of the story was annoying.

The Half-life of Marie Curie - I didn’t mind learning stuff about Marie Curie... falls squarely in “made for TV lifetime movie” quality though. You should not carry around a vile of uranium where ever you go.

Alone with the Stars - A girl in Florida hears the call for help from Amelia Earhart, but nobody listens to her. Part fiction, part biographical. It would’ve been better as a biography and talking about various conspiracy theories about what happened to her and finding the pieces of the airplane.

Beezer - The son of the Devil learning to become a good person with a found family... however, most of the characters are annoying.

The Year of Magical Thinking (Free Audio Book) - very heavy on the subjects about loss and death.

Complete Garbage.

The Getaway (Free Audio Book) - A man being a POS by stalking and abducting women. It broadcasts just about everything that is going to happen.

Agent 355 (Free Audio Book)  - Do you like “American Mythology?” Like the whole “the founders are the greatest people in the world” kind of vibe? I don’t. I also hate the main character for being one of those “i’m smart, because i read books that women aren’t supposed to” girls when she doesn’t really think for herself at all.

[calpalirwin]

Choices

Summary: Ashton Irwin thought he had everything he needed in life in the form of his daughter. Funny the difference a choice can make.

A/N: Y’all ready to for the tea on Taylor? Also, re-reading this, I was very clearly in a heavy “All Too Well” inspiration spiral. Although, that’s NOT the reason Cassidy’s mom’s name is Taylor. She was originally Lauren, which I’ve changed for obvious reasons (and Ash was originally Finn cuz my Gleek phase was out of control, but I digress).

Content: Big sad.

Word Count: 3.5K

And away, and away we go!

Chapter 4

I used one hand to knock on Nic’s door, holding onto Cassidy’s small hand with my other one. Nic and I had decided to spend the night apart so she could sleep without Cassidy waking her up and I could spend a lazy morning with Cassidy just me and her. The night apart had done little to ease my nerves of introducing Nic to my family, even with the distraction of having a fun dance party night with Cassidy- her choice of course.

She answered the door, wearing jeans, a fitted t-shirt, and a light scarf- an effortlessly sexy look. “Nic!” Cassidy said happily, hugging Nic tight. “It’s Daddy’s birthday!”

“It is!” she agreed patting the top of Cassidy’s head and kissing me. “Happy birthday, handsome.”

“It’s actually in a few days, we’re just celebrating early,” I clarified, my cheeks flushed. “But thanks. Ready to go?” I asked, going up to run my hands through my hair for the millionth time that morning.

“Ash, relax. Today’s gonna be fine.”

“I know,” I nodded, kissing her. “I know. I just… well it’s been awhile since I’ve brought a girl home.”

We made the half hour drive up to my parents, the three of us singing along to the radio to drown out my thoughts. I hadn’t told my family I was bringing Nic. Lauren was the only one who even knew about Nic. And the prospect of introducing them to a girl for the first time since I brought Taylor home all those years ago was a little nerve wracking.

When we pulled off the freeway, Nic turned down the radio. “So, who am I meeting?” she asked.

“My mom, Anne, and my stepdad, Jack. Well, he’s my stepdad. He’s biologically my siblings dad. But he’s Dad. Lauren will be there too, but you already know her. She might bring her boyfriend, Adam, but I’m not sure. And then there’s my brother Harry.” 

“Tell me about them.”

“Uh…” I drummed my fingers against the steering wheel. I looked over at her, her hair blowing in the wind, a smile on her face, and her eyes waiting for an answer. I looked back at the road and slammed on the brakes, my arm shooting out to catch Nic as she fell forward. “You okay, Cass?” I asked, checking in the rearview mirror at Cassidy in her seat.

Cassidy nodded, oblivious to everything around her, lost in her childlike wonder.

“Almost ran that light cuz of you,” I told Nic, half-angry.

“You’re the one who can’t keep his eyes on the road,” she scolded.

“Well, stop being so beautiful.”

“You’re distracting yourself, Ash. Tell me about your family.”

I sighed. “They’re traditional. My mom moved me and her here from Australia after my biological dad left. She worked in a rehab facility for war veterans where she met Jack. He was in the Gulf War. He’s a cop now. They got married. He adopted me. They had Lauren. Then they had Harry.”

“Wow… Is that why you became a cop? Because of your dad?”

I shrugged, “I always thought it was because I liked to read Sherlock Holmes. But, yeah that probably played a part in it, too.”

“Sherlock Holmes was a detective,” Nic pointed out.

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s why I’m a cop. Working my way up to being a detective.”

“Oh, a man with ambitions.” I caught her smile out of the corner of my eye. “So, what else should I know about your parents? Who are they personality wise?”

“My dad is stubborn and rather traditionalist. He’s very much a man’s man. Not very into showing his emotions, but there’s never any doubt what he’s feeling. And he has the biggest soft spot for Cass. My mom is very headstrong, especially when it comes to her family.” I made my way through my old town as I spoke, navigating my way through the streets leading to my parents with a practiced ease.

“So, normal family dynamics.”

“Normal family dynamics,” I agreed, pulling up behind my dad’s car. “Well, this is home,” I told her.

She looked out her window at the house- a simplistic two-story home in the middle of a street filled with other simplistic two-story homes. “This is where you grew up?”

“Yep,” I said, pointing out a window to her, “that’s my bedroom window. Snuck out a lot through there.”

She laughed, “So you were a trouble-maker, huh?”

“I was a good trouble-maker,” I defended, laughing. “I only snuck out the nights they wouldn’t let me take the car. Which was a lot, because I kept sneaking out.” I smiled for a moment at the memories my old house brought to mind. “It was a good place to grow up,” I told her finally. “Ready?”

She nodded and we got out of the truck. I held onto both Cassidy’s and Nic’s hands with either of mine. “Get the door, Cass,” I said.

Cassidy reached up and flung the front door open, calling out, “Nana! Grandad! We’re here!”

“Jack! Cassidy’s here!” I heard my mom say and the creak of the couch as she got up and made her way to us. “Oh, my sweet little Cass!” my mom crooned, bending down to hug Cassidy.

“Hey, Ma,” I said, trying to get her attention.

“What, Ash? Let me say hi to my-” her eyes looked up and fell on Nic. “Ashton Fletcher Irwin! You brought a girl without even mentioning you were seeing one?!” she straightened up and smacked my arm, then, “Jack! Ashton brought home a girl!”

“He always brings a girl home, sweetheart,” Jack said, finally getting up to see what all the fuss was about. “There’s my Cass,” he smiled, picking up his granddaughter. “Oh… Daddy brought a friend, that’s what Nana’s screeching about,” he told her, raising his eyebrows at my hand that was still holding Nic’s. “So, who’s this, Ashton?”

“This is Nic, my girlfriend. Nic, this is my dad, Jack, and my mom, Anne.”

“Pleased to meet you both. Ash’s told me so much about you.”

“Oh, so you can get a girlfriend, but you can’t call home long enough to tell us about her? Ashton,” my mother scolded, smacking me again.

“Ow, geez, Ma. I thought you’d rather meet her. Sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t erase what you did, Ashton,” she told me, repeating the familiar phase she had told both my siblings and myself anytime we got in trouble. Then, she turned her attention to Nic. “Nic, was it? It’s so good to meet you! Is Ash treating you right? How was the drive? Would you like something to drink? Come, sit, both of you.”

As she ushered us into the living room, Nic answered my mom’s incessant questions, her Southern charm coming out heavily. “It’s nice to meet you too, ma’am. You have a lovely home. Ash’s been nothing but great to me, you raised a good son. The drive was fine, not too much traffic, and Ash’s a very safe driver. I’d love a water. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I should hope I raised him right, even if he doesn’t call as often as he should. Oh, no sweetie, I can do it. You just sit here with Ash and rest. Harry, your brother’s here!” She reached out and patted my arm, “I like her, Ashton,” she told me.

“I like her too, Ma,” I said, sitting down on the couch, like I always did. “I’ll take a water too, if you’re up.”

“You have legs,” she told me.

“Nana, can I have juice, please?” Cassidy asked, climbing into my dad’s lap.

“Of course you can!” my mom answered, disappearing into the kitchen.

Nic snickered into her hand.

“What?” I asked her. “You wanted to come.”

“Ashton,” she snickered again.

I rolled my eyes and tilted my head back. “You’re one to talk, Nicole I teased.

“How come you never told me ‘Ash’ was short for something?”

I shrugged, “It never came up. Hey, Harry,” I said as Harry stumbled downstairs.

“A girl?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at Nic.

“Yeah, nice to see you too, kid.”

“Yeah, happy birthday, old man. I’m Harry,” he said, offering a hand to Nic.

“Nic,” Nic smiled at him.

“So, Ash, how’s work?” my mom asked, reappearing with water for both Nic and me and a juice box for Cassidy.

I shrugged again, taking the water. “Same old, same old.”

“And how’s daycare, Cass?” she asked.

“It’s fun,” Cassidy said before launching into a long story about her daycare adventures she told anyone who would listen, my mom hanging on to every word.

“You good?” I asked Nic in a whisper, my hand resting on her leg.

She smiled softly at me, “Yeah, your family’s wonderful. Feels like home.”

We sat there for awhile on the couch, Cassidy holding my mom captive with her stories while my brother, dad, Nic, and I paid attention to the game on TV. When Cassidy finally stopped talking to catch her breath, my mom finally cleared her throat. “Nic, would you like to see pictures of Ash?” she asked, getting up and moving for where we kept the photo albums.

“Ma!” I groaned, burying my face in my hands while Harry snickered.

“Oh, I’d love to!” Nic  squealed in delight.

My mom sat next to Nic on the couch and opened up one of the albums. She started telling Nic all my old stories, while Cassidy moved from my dad’s lap to mine to look at the pictures. “This one is when he was born… aw, his first birthday!... that was when Lauren was born, he was protective of her even then,” my mom paused to relive the memory.

“You were so cute, Ash!” Nic told me, squeezing my arm. “Wow, you really care for your sister,” she said pointing at the photo my mom was showing her of me holding Lauren after she had come home from the hospital.

I smiled, looking at the photo. “I did the same with Harry. I take my big brother duties very seriously.”

“Too seriously sometimes. You’re like Dad 2.0,” Harry put in with an eye roll.

“Harry,” both my dad and I said with the same tone of exasperation and warning.

“Point proven,” he sighed with another roll of his eyes.

“You played t-ball?” Nic asked, looking at another photo.

“I told you I played baseball in high school. Gotta start somewhere.”

She continued to scan the pictures of my childhood, which varied from birthday parties, holidays, sport events, school events, and various other snapshots my mom and dad thought worth preserving like me playing guitar or caring for Lauren and Harry. “You wore glasses?!” Nic laughed, fixating on a picture of me in bed, wearing pajamas and glasses, reading a book to Lauren and Harry.

“I wear glasses,” I corrected, “for reading.” I looked at the picture, “I hated that book, but they loved it,” I told her.

“You read me that book sometimes, Daddy,” Cassidy said, looking at the picture.

“I do,” I agreed, hugging her to me. “Auntie Lauren and Uncle Harry were the ones to give you that book.”

“Wow,” Nic smiled, closing the album. “I feel like I’m seeing a whole different side to you.”

I shrugged, “I was a happy kid. No, Mom, not that one,” I said suddenly, seeing the next album my mom had opened- the one I knew contained a lot of pictures of me and Taylor.

Nic got excited, thinking it was more embarrassing photos of me. “Is it high school Ash? Oh, I wanna see! Please, Ash?”

“Please, Daddy?” Cassidy also begged.

They both looked at me so excited and I didn’t have the heart to say no. I sighed, “Alright…”

My mom, Cassidy, and Nic all grinned and then opened the album. The first few pages were similar to the first album, only instead of my face being round with baby fat, I had acne and my face and body started to define themselves more and more with each picture. As they flipped through the school pictures, family get-togethers, and general teenage shenanigans, my acne cleared and my beard started to show. Then, came the senior yearbook photo and I knew Taylor was on the next page. Sure enough, Nic smiled at me and turned the page, revealing a picture of me in a tux, grinning like a damned fool next to Taylor in that stunning green dress at Homecoming, crowns perched on both of our heads. “Is that…?” Nic asked, quietly.

I tried to smile and nodded. “Yep, that’s Taylor. Told ya I was Homecoming King,” I laughed, swallowing the lump in my throat. The last thing I wanted was Nic seeing pictures of me happy with an ex-girlfriend I thought I’d be with forever. And I certainly didn’t need the reminder that I had once proposed to the girl kissing my cheek while I grinned at the camera.

“Who’s that?” Cassidy asked me softly.

I smiled weakly, “That’s Momma.”

Her little face furrowed as her fingers grazed the picture. “How come she’s not here? Doesn’t she want to be a momma?” She turned her head to peer up at me, her big eyes a mix of childhood innocence and a deep questioning that no five year old should ever have.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a breath to steady myself. “Cass, we told you about your momma. She’s just really busy,” my mom hurriedly explained.

“Oh…” Cassidy said, seeming to accept the answer.

The mood kinda shifted as we continued to peruse the album with my mom. Nic stopped at one of the few pictures that Taylor wasn’t in and smiled at me, checking if I was okay. “Oh, I like this one,” I told her, looking at it- me on the pitcher’s mound, just seconds after I struck out their batter, ending the game, my face mid-transition from grin to screaming with joy. “We won our state championship game after... What, Dad, 15 innings?”

“18,” my dad corrected. “I remember because we kept joking in the stands that they should’ve charged us all for 2 tickets if we were gonna watch 2 games worth of innings.”

I laughed, “Yeah, that was a hell of a game.”

“It was. But you held your own.”

“I pitched 6 shutout innings,” I explained to Nic. “The 7th through 9th innings and then innings 16, 17, and 18.”

“He was a damn good closing pitcher,” my dad explained proudly.

“Yeah, okay, Dad,” I laughed while Harry scoffed that he was better. “When’s Lauren getting here?” I asked, suddenly realizing that I’d been home for at least an hour and she hadn’t shown up yet.

My dad cocked his head to the side before shrugging. “Soon, I guess.”

Right on cue the front door flew open and I heard Lauren scream, “I’m here!” then a blur of my sister as she ran in the living room, swinging Cassidy up in her arms before placing her back in my lap. “Hey, Nic,” Cassidy said, hugging Nic. “Good to see you again.” Then she went around saying hi to our mom and dad, kissing them on the cheeks, “Hi, Mom. Hi, Daddy. We winning?” she asked, leaning on his armchair. “Sup, Harry.”

“We’re doing our best, baby,” our dad told her while Harry nodded in greeting. “Where’s that boy of yours?”

“Oh, he couldn’t make it, Daddy,” she told him and then stuck her tongue out at me for no reason other than that she could.

I shook my head, laughing softly. “She’s his favorite,” I explained to Nic. “but it’s okay, cuz I’m Mom’s favorite.”

“Where does that leave me?” Harry asked, crossing his arms and pouting.

“I have no favorite children, Ashton. Just a favorite grandchild,” my mother reminded me, smiling softly at Cassidy.

“Yeah, Ashton,” Lauren tormented.

“Don’t you start, Lauren Rose Dawkins. You knew Ashton had a girlfriend and couldn’t be bothered to clue us in?” my mom asked my sister.

“Ha-ha!” I snickered, sticking my own tongue out at her.

“Oh, like she didn’t full name you when you introduced them to Nic?” Lauren shot back.

“Oh, she did,” Nic ratted me out.

“Then she pulled out the photos…” I added, shuddering.

Lauren sucked her air in through her teeth, “Yikes… did you get to the high school ones?”

“Oh, yeah..."

“I like your pictures, Ash,” Nic told me. “You were very handsome.”

“You hear that, Ashy? Were,” Harry and Lauren laughed.

Nic laughed shyly, “You’re still handsome,” she defended.

I smiled at her, “They’re just being jerks. I knew what you meant.”

“Oh!” Lauren said, clapping her hands together. “Has Ash showed you his room, yet, Nic?”

“No, he hasn’t.”

“Come with me, I’ll show ya,” she grinned, taking Nic’s hand and leading her towards the staircase.

Cassidy quickly got off my lap and went after them. “Wait for me!” she yelled.

I hurried after them, praying that my old room didn’t look like how I’d left it when I moved to Seattle nearly 5 years ago. I found the three of them on my old bed, looking around the room. “Wow, I haven’t been here in ages…” Lauren said aloud.

“Good, let’s keep it that way,” I told her, feeling sixteen for a minute.

“So, this is your room?” Nic wondered, standing up to get a better look at the posters on my walls of my favorite bands and sports teams. The corkboard that hung above my desk was still crooked from when I’d torn all the pictures off it in a fit of rage. The small trash can still held them, unharmed, because I had broken down crying when I tried to light them on fire. On my nightstand, a photo was still lying face down. Nic reached out to fix it.

“Leave it!” I said, my voice coming out harsh and sharp. Then, with a much softer tone, “Just leave it, please.”

“Oh… that’s the… shit, sorry, Ash,” Lauren said, getting up. “C’mon, Nic, have you seen the back yard yet?”

“What’s that picture, Daddy?” Cassidy asked, grabbing the frame in her hands.

I sighed and picked her up, sitting on the bed and holding her in my lap. “It’s a picture of me and Momma,” I told her.

“You don’t talk about her.”

“I know.”

“Why?”

“Because it makes me sad.”

“Why?”

I sighed again and patted the space next to me for Nic to sit down with us. “Okay, I’m gonna tell you both a story. Are you ready?”

Cassidy and Nic both nodded. I took a breath and flipped the frame over. In it, I was bent on one knee with a ring in my hand, while Taylor looked at me with her hands over her mouth in shock. “It was Taylor’s sophomore year of college and I had just finished up at the academy. I took Taylor- your momma- on a small vacation between Christmas and New Years. I had a ring, I had a speech, I had her dad’s blessing, all of it. And I proposed to her. I told her that I’d been in love with her since we were five and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life being everything she needed. She said no. Actually, she told me she was pregnant and wasn’t sure she wanted to be a momma.”

“She didn’t want to be a momma?” Cassidy asked, her eyes wide.

“Ash… I had no idea… I thought she…” Nic said, struggling to find words.

“Was dead? Yeah, she’s alive. Just didn’t want to be a mom. But, I really wanted to be a dad,” I said, smiling at Cassidy. “So, I convinced her to go through with it and we had you. Then she signed over her parental rights to me, broke my heart, and left me with a newborn that looked just like her.”

“Wow… Ash… I don’t know what to say…”

“There’s nothing to say. We were young and we had a tough choice to make. We each made the one we thought we could live with best. I don’t regret any of it. I’ve raised Cass with the help of my family. I lived here while I found a job and a place for us. Then I moved to Seattle almost 5 years ago with Cass. Then I met you. So, that’s what happened. And that’s why it’s a touchy subject, and why I don’t talk about it.”

“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me,” Nic smiled.

I shrugged. “You’re my girlfriend, so you have a right to know about my past, even the ugly bits. And now you know about your momma, Cass,” I said, kissing her head.

“Why didn’t she want me?” she asked, her eyes full of tears as she looked up at me.

I took my thumb and ran it under her eyes, catching the tears. “I don’t know, love. But I know that I wanted you. And that I love you very much.”

“That’s true,” Lauren told Cassidy. “Your daddy loves you lots. Wanna know how I know that?”

“How?!”

“Because your daddy’s a terrible liar,” Lauren said, smiling.

Nic laughed, “Good to know you’re a bad liar.”

“The worst,” I assured, kissing her.

~~~

Tag List (Honestly? You still won’t ask to join? Your loss, mate. I’m a mf-ing DELIGHT!)

@goeatsomelife​ @flameraine​ @cashtonasff5sos​ @here-for-the-uproars​ @cxddlyash​ @1-irwin-94​ @baldcalum​ @sparkling-chaos​ @tea4sykes​ @youngblood199456​ @5-seconds-of-obsession​

[hanniiesuckle17]

Guns and Blankets

A/n: not requested but I have been doing too many Stray Kids posts lately holy crap this got long. yes it is heavily inspired by BBC sherlock

ASKS AND REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Member: Jung Hoseok ft. BTS

WARNINGS: Mild violence, swearing, partial smut?, smoking (don't do it kids), alcohol

Summary: Y/n L/n is the world's closest thing to Sherlock Holmes. Her intellect was unparalleled by anyone, but her snide and sarcastic remarks and attitude kept her from joining the force. However, Chief of Police Kim Namjoon can't help but enlist the services of the consulting detective. To the outside, Y/n may seem cold, calculating, and emotionless, but her partner ( Dr.Jung Hoseok) sees a different side of her.

Genre: nonidol!au, detective!au, police!au, sherlockholmes!au, mystery, comedy, angst

I paced the floor of my dark apartment, mind running. "Is your goal to create a dent, because you are doing mighty good work." I scoffed at my partner who sat in the armchair reading the paper.

"I'm waiting. I thought domestic people like you understood that concept." The young man with dark hair chuckled as he watched me burn a hole through my wood floor. My head shot towards the window at the sound of a car pulling up. "Finally, Kim shows up with something to do!"

"A nice murder. That always cheers you up, love."

I could hear the grin in Hoseok's words. "Oh shut up! You love it as much as I do, Mr. Military Doctor." I couldn't kept the smile from breaking onto my face no matter how hard I tried. "Y/n!" The familiar voice of Chief Inspector Kim Namjoon came up the stairs to my apartment.

"What is it this time, Kim?" He stopped in the doorway, out of breath. "Body? Kidnapping? Attempted political assassination? All very fun." He shook his head and started to pull his phone out of his pocket. "No. This was sent to me twenty minutes ago." He showed me a picture of a shabby empty room, but something was ominous and familiar about it.

"I know this room. Where do I know this room." Hoseok came behind me to look over my shoulder. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by my cellphone ringing on the table.

Handing Hoseok the phone I went to pick up mine. "Y/n L/n speaking." There was silence on the other end. The two men spoke in hushed tones conversing about the photo. "Hello?" The line was live and my ears picked up the slightest sound of breathing on the other side. "You're wasting my very valuable time by-"

"Y/n."

"Yes, Hoseok. What is it?"

"The room. Isn't it the apartment downstairs?"

Hanging up the phone I looked again at the photo. Without a word, I took off down the stairs yelling for out landlady, Mrs. Yang. Grabbing the keys from her painted nails I rushed to the door and opened it, Kim and Hoseok hot on my heels. I froze when my eyes landed on the center of the room.

"What? What is it?" A pair of women's trainers lay side by side in the exact center of the room. Dusty light came through the old windows illuminating the area.

"Well that's not creepy."

The second I took a step forward my phone rang once again, breaking the heavy silence. Gingerly, I pulled out the device and put it on speaker. "Hello." I said quietly still examining the shoes from afar.

Heavy,shaky breathing filled the room before a women's voice spoke. "H-hello...s-se-sexy..." In my peripherals I saw Hoseok move to my right near the wall.

"Who is this-"

"I....s-sent you a...li-little p-puzzle.....Just to say...h-hi."

"Whose talking? Why are you crying?"

Kim's eyes moved between me and the shoes. My mind was reeling with the new information being shown to me.

"I'm n-not crying...I'm t-typing...and this stupid...b-bitch is reading my w-words."

My feet moved forward towards the shoes to examine them. "Careful!" Kim said. "This sounds like a power play. The guy could be a bomber."

Handing Hoseok the phone I crouched lightly on the floor, putting the pieces together.

"14...hours to solve m-my puzzle,...Y/n.....or I will b-be ve-very naughty."

More crying could be heard on the line. I turned to my right to see Hoseok with his eyes closed and head against the wall, a strained expression on his face.

"Time starts now..."

The line went dead and silence filled the room. Hoseok opened his eyes only to flinch as I lifted the shoes from the floor. "I know these shoes...."

"You have the department's full support. Anything you need."

"Oh, Yoongi will be happy about that."

Hoseok chuckled and slipped my phone in my pocket as I turned to him.

"Come on, Hoseok. I'm sure Tae is at the lab. We've got a puzzle to solve."

"I'm sure Taehyung will be very happy to see you." Every inch of Hoseok's voice was dripping with jealousy. Something I rather enjoyed hearing.

Five hours had passed as I studied the shoes. Taehyung was more than happy to let us use the morgue's lab once again. Hoseok idly chatted with me as I worked, something I had grown accustomed to but did not so much to say enjoy. The short silence was broken once again by my cell.

"Pass me my phone?" My eyes never left the microscope as I spoke to him.

"Where is it?"

"Pocket."

With a sigh, Hoseok got up and reach into my back pocket.

"Careful there, Hobi." A smirk played on my lips as I turned to him behind me. That small knowing smile creeped onto his face. He knew something the rest of the world didn't. I had quite the soft spot for him. In more ways than one.

As he opened my phone I turned to the computer screen to analyze the new results. "Text from your brother."

"Delete it. It's not important."

"He seems to think so. Something about national security codes."

"Codes are already out of the country by now. Nothing I can do about it. Besides he pretty much is the South Korean government he can fix it like a big boy. All by himself."

Hoseok tossed my phone beside me on the table and walked back to his seat on my right.

"Besides....someone else is being way more fun."

The computer finished just as the door opened to reveal Taehyung with starry eyes aimed towards me. "Any luck?" "Yes, finally." A warm body followed behind him shortly after.

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Hyun- Hi! Oh my God! No come in."

The woman came over slowly to stand next to Tae, but I paid her no mind, continuing with my work.

"Hyunah, this Y/n L/n. And her.....Juny Hoseok." My partner politely shook hands with her but I could feel her stare on my back, though I ignored it.

"Hi...So....you're Y/n L/n. Taehyung has told me all about you." Her voice had a sultry tone to it.

"Yes, dear Tae has a tendency to do that."

"Are you working on one of your cases? I'm such a fan." She moved near Hoseok to try and peek at the screen. "Hyunah works in IT upstairs. That's how we met. Office romance!" My eyes scanned her over picking up every detail about her.

"Gay."

"Sorry what?" Tae said shocked.

"Nothing sorry. Hey."

Cast a nod towards her, she smiled and dropped a metal pan that rest on the edge of the table.

"Oh sorry! Oh my god!" She bent down to pick it up revealing the bright red skivy up her skirt, causing Hoseok to look away.

"I should be going." She placed the pan back on the table and bade a quick farewell to Tae with a kiss on the cheek before exiting.

"Gay? We're together."

"And domestic life must suit you Taehyung. You've put on three pounds."

"It's not three! Maybe two and a half!"

"Three."

"She's not gay! She's n- Y/n why do you have to spoil-"

"With that hair color?"

Hoseok scoffed beside me. "What because she died her hair orange. I've died my hair before." "No, love you've bleached your hair. There's a difference."

"She isn't gay."

"You failed to notice those tired clubbers eyes, the quite prominent pride themed tattoo on inside of her forearm, and obviously the short nails. Most women don't really like that you know feeling."

"Short nails?"

"Also the extremely suggestive fact that she slipped me her number before leaving."

Pulling the sticky note from under the pan Hyunah knocked over I handed it to Taehyung before looking back at the microscope.

"Call me xoxo. She quite straight to the point. I'd say you'd better break it off now and save yourself the pain, Tae."

With a glare mixed with hurt Taehyung simply turned and left the room. "Charming. Well done, Y/n."

"Oh please. You are you jealous a girl has put more moves on me than you have."

Getting out of his chair Hoseok came to tower over me. "You know that's not my problem but yours." It was true. I liked fucking with him, but I was afraid to let my heart have precedence over my head.

Two and a half days later and two puzzles had been solved within the time limit. Now I was just waiting for something to happen. I sighed as I flexed my arm. Promising Hobi I'd quit smoking was maybe the hardest things I'd encountered.

"I've brought take out and vodka-what are you doing!?"

"Nicotine patch."

"Three of them?"

"It's a three patch problem."

He sighed and opened the bottle pouring himself a glass before downing all of it. "Why isn't he doing anything?" Hoseok collapsed onto my couch, his arm spread over the back behind my head and his other hand pulling my legs into his lap so we could both fit on the small couch.

"I don't know. I'm happy not to think about anything for a while."

"What's it like living in your head? It must be awfully boring."

"Not really, I have you to keep me on my toes."

See most people would recognize the consequences of hard liquor and sexual tension, but I honestly didn't care. So when the sky grew dark all other senses are heightened. Sound. Taste. Touch.

That seemed to be the favorite of the night touch. His hands felt secure on my body as the moved across it like paint on a canvas. My lips couldn't help but find pieces of raw skin waiting to be marked as Hoseok lay on top of me. The smell of smoke and alcohol filled the bedroom, leaving my mind a blur.

The feeling of Hoseok filled my entire body and was better than any alcohol or drug I had ever taken. I felt a lack of control and I loved it. Hoseok thrust into me at a deep and steady pace and his lips moved down to my chest and attaching themselves to my breast. My fingers pulled at his dark locks eliciting a deep melodical groan from Hoseok that fueled my need even more.

A heavy pounding on my door awakened me from a heavy sleep. Light was just beginning to break outside my window. Hoseok lay under me with an arm wrapped tightly around my stomach. Hoseok still stayed fast asleep so quietly I got out of bed and slipped on a pair of sweats and put my black bra back on. The pounding continued.

"ALRIGHT! I'M COMING!" I screamed before running to open the door. Opening the door I found Kim And Min Yoongi standing in the hall. "Yoongi."

"Y/n."

"Yoongi face the other way. You're putting me off."

"Nice sex hair."

"At least I can get off with fucking and not having to be an ignorant asswipe."

"Yoongi shut up. Y/n let us inside." I opened the door further and motioned for the two men to enter, but not without flipping off the idiot.

"Another one?" Kim nodded before responding. "Down by the docks. We got a call this morning. You have 12 hours. Sounded like an older woman this time. Aparently she's blind." I smiled, excited by the new development in our little game.

"Hobi, nice of you to join us. Sorry I left you darling." I turned hearing footsteps coming from the bedroom. Hoseok stood with messy hair in only a pair of sweats he kept at my place. "You're fine." He said with a small but sad smile.

Yoongi scoffed before turning to me, taking in both of our states. "I didn't realize a psychopath like you could have a soft spot for your little doctor."

"I'm not a psychopath, Yoongi. I'm a high-functioning sociopath, do your fucking research."

"Ladies, stop fighting. We've got a murder to solve."

After changing Hoseok and I followed the two officers in a taxi to the docks. A slight mist rained down on us as we arrived at the destination. Police tape bordered the area and several officers milled about a car parked near some shipping crates.

As we got closer, I could see blood dripping out of the driver's side door. My eyes searched the car over. "Car was hired yesterday by a Jeon Minhyuk. Looks like about a pint of blood." Kim said, crouching next to the open car.

"Not about. Exactly. Most likely planted here on purpose. Our victim-"

"Jeon Minhyuk."

"Yeah, whatever. Long story short. Abduction not murder."

My eyes caught the sight of a middle aged woman crying next to some officers. "Who's that?" Yoongi nodded towards her. "Jeon's wife. Got here just before you did."

I nodded and stuffed my hands in my pockets as I turned to Hoseok. "Let's go talk to her, darling."

I took a breath of cold air before approaching the crying woman. "Mrs.Jeon?" She turned and frowned at our presence. "Yes, look I've already spoken with the police-" "Yes, ma'am. We aren't police." Hoseok interrupted politely.

"Y/n L/n." I reached out to shake her hand with a broken look.

"A very good friend of your husband's. We-uh... we grew up together."Tears started to fall from my cheeks as I 'recalled' the memory.

"I'm sorry? Who are you?" She said shaking her head.

"This is my husband, Hoseok." He politely shook her hand while casting me a side glance.

"I-don't think he ever mentioned you."

"No-no. He must've- I just can't believe it. I was just with him the other day. Same old Minhyuk not a care in the world."

Her face changed dramatically. "I'm sorry, but my husband has been depressed for months. Who are you?"

"Strange that he hired a car?" I said looking back the car and wiping away some of the tears. "Why would he do that? But suspicious isn't it?"

"No it isn't! He forgot to renew the tax on the car that's all."

"Ah. That was Minhyuk. That was Minhyuk all over. Forgetting everything."

"No it wasn't!"

"Wasn't it? Interesting."

My face turned straight and I turned back to the car walking away. "Do you enjoy lying to people?" Hoseok asked with a smile. "People don't like to tell you things, but they love to contradict you." I couldn't help but smile at Hobi's laugh. "Did you notice?" I asked.

"What?"

"I referred to her husband in the past tense and she joined in. Bit premature. We've only found the car. She's in on it."

My eyes drifted to a sticker on the bumper. Janus Cars. "Hobi." Pointing to the sticker he crouched to inspect it. "Janus? The only Janus I know is the top headed Egyptian god."

"Well let's go see."

Five hours were down as we entered the office of Kim Hyojong, owner of Janus cars. "Yeah rented the car out to him yesterday." The man said as he scratched his arm. "Mazda Rx8 I believe. Wouldn't mind one myself." He smirked as he pulled up the sleeves of his shirt revealing an expensive watch.

"Is that one?" I pointed to a random picture on the wall as I walked around. When he turned I quickly inspected the back of his neck before turning around. "Uh... that's a jag. Not a car girl I see."

"Surely you can afford one, a Mazda I mean." Hoseok said, pulling the attention off of me for a moment as I inspected the man for a few more minutes.

"Have you got any change for the cigarette machine? I'm practically gasping." Hoseok shot me a glare as I held out a ten and watched as the man pulled out his wallet.

"No, sorry."

After thanking him the two of us walked out side by side. "If absolutely need to....here. I've got change."

"Don't need it, darling. Nicotine patches, remember?" I said pulling up my sleeve to reveal another two added on my arm. "Too expensive to smoke nowadays anyhow."

"So what was that all about?" He said pulling down my sleeve quickly. "Needed to see inside his wallet. Did you see? All foreign bills." My growing speech was interrupted by my phone ringing.

"Y/n L/n."

"The clue is in the name. Janus Cars."

An older female voice came through the phone. The blind lady. Yes almost forgot. Bomb and everything.

"Why are you giving me a hint?"

"Why does anyone do anything......I like to watch....you...dance...."

The line went dead. Hoseok looked to me with brows raised. "Phone Kim. Tell him to bring the car to the garage."

Eight hours in and I was sure. Kim and Hoseok stood with me in front of the car, waiting for my explanation.

"The blood was their first mistake. Exactly a pint. But it is definitely Jeon Minhyuk's, though frozen. There are traces. I had Tae run some tests. I think Minhyuk gave a pint of his blood a while ago and that it was Janus Car's spread on the seat."

"Janus Cars?"

"Yes, the clue is in the name."

"That God with two faces?" Namjoon asked.

"Exactly. Janus Cars offers a less than legal service to help you disappear from certain problems whatever they may be."

"So where is Jeon?" Kim questioned again.

"Brazil." I said closing the car door.

"What?"

"Kim Hyojong had a 20000 Brazilian peso note in his wallet as well as some change, the dick. Which means he had been abroad recently. When I asked him about the cars he turned and I saw an obvious tan line on his neck. Somewhere hot, but not for pleasure. No one wears a shirt on the fucking beach. Next his arm-"

"His arm?"

"Do stop interrupting. It's quite annoying and we have a bomb to stop. Yes his arm. He was scratching it and It was bleeding. Most likely because he had a booster jab. The therefore out Jeon Minhyuk is somewhere lying in a cabana in Brazil thanks to Janus Cars."

I pulled out my phone and posted the answer on my website like I had the past two times. "Y/n how long have you known?" "It was very simple. I knew the bomber had given us twelve hours so I finished this and was able to complete other things."

"Other things! That woman has been sitting there with a bomb strapped to her chest." Immediately my phone rang.

"Hello."

"Help me...." the woman cried out softly.

"Tell us where you are. Address."

"They were....so-....They're voice was-"

"No! Don't tell me anything about them!"

"They sounded...so soft-"

The sound of an explosion could be heard right before the line went dead. "Hello!" My shaking hand dropped the phone. I stood frozen in place. Hoseok took my face in his hands. "Y/n? Y/n, love? Look at me. What happened?" The words were stuck in my throat.

"It's-.....it's not fair. I answered! She started to describe him and she- Oh my god!" My fingers pulled at the roots of my hair and anxiety and panic started to kick in.

"Namjoon, there was an explosion go get a squad. I'll take care of her." Hoseok pried my hands away from my face where my nails where scratching at my hair and skin in panic.

"Y/n....I'm right here it's okay. Fuck!" My vision spun and it felt like nails were driving into my skull. Clutching my head I collapsed on the parking garage floor. "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! TAKE IT AWAY! TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed and pushed Hoseok's hands away as he tried to rip off all five of the nicotine patches, which certainly weren't helping the situation.

"I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! THERE IS TOO MUCH UP HERE! There's no room for me." I clutched my head even tighter as tears spilled onto my cheeks. Hoseok tried to pull me towards him in Hope's of calming me down.

"I don't want this gift! I don't want it! There is no more room for me! It's too much stuff in my head! Hoseok, please make it go away!" I pounded on his chest and cried like a baby as he pulled me into his lap on the ground.

"I don't want to be smart anymore.......It's too much......I can't be responsible for all of this!"

The last thing I remember was passing out in Hoseok's arms.

I woke up again to darkness. Sitting up, my coat was hanging on the door and I had been put in a tshirt that wasn't mine. The clock on my beside table read two a.m. Hoseok lay next to me, sleeping soundly. I sighed and pulled open the drawer searching for a pack of cigarettes. After finding a singular one I walked to the door and pulled a flash drive out of my coat pocket.

Lighting the cigarette I walked into the living room and to my laptop. Quickly I posted something on my website and got dressed. As I walked towards the front door, my eyes got sight of the bedroom. Hoseok shifted in his sleep a little bit.

With a sigh I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a note.

1067 Hangguk Ave.

Trust me.

Taping it on the door, I closed it and grabbed a taxi to take me downtown.

I entered the large ornate library in silence. My footsteps were the only sound that echoed throughout the three store building. Hundreds of book shelves lined the area, the only light was from the bright moon as it shone through the huge glass window in the back.

"I've brought you a little getting to know you present." I said my voice echoing off the rounded roof as I held up the flash drive.

"This is what it has all been for right? All your little puzzles. Making me dance....Just for this."

The sound of a door opening made me turn around. It took all of my power not to let the look of terror show on my face. A figure walked towards me through the dark. A figure I knew. My half brother.

"Seokjin?"

He wore a black winter trench coat and a straight expression. "Evening."

"This is a twist, isn't it Y/n? Bet you didn't see this coming." My hand lowered to my side as I tried to regain my composure.

"What...would you like me....to make him say.... next?"

Seokjin opened his coat to reveal several bombs strapped to his chest over his normal suit. A little red dot was also now trained on his chest. Frantically I searched for the shooter in the balconies.

"Humpty Dumpty....sat on a wall.....Humpty Dumpty.....had a......great...fall-"

"ENOUGH!" I screamed.

"He is one of the only....people you care about....isn't that right.......Y/n."

"Stop it."

"I can stop his heart.....if you like...."

Seokjin's face fell and he gulped at his own words. It was true. Seokjin had always looked out for me, even though I was a huge smartass. He never complained once about his ten year old sister being in junior year with him.

"Who are you?" Another door opened behind me and the sound of heels clicked across the floor.

"Gave you my number. Thought you might call."

Shadows drifted across her face as she came to stand in the moonlight. A playful smirk was drawn on her painted lips.

"Is that .45 Dan Wesson Specialist in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

Her voice was smooth like honey and dripped with confidence. “Both.” Keeping my face straight I pulled the gun out from my jacket. “Kim HyunA......Hi.” The woman stepped further into the light, revealing the rest of her sculpted face.

“Hyunah? Hyunah from the morgue? Huh. Did I really make such a fleeting impression on you? But then I suppose that was the point of the whole thing.” She stepped closer. Something about the way she spoke sent shivers down my spine. My grip on the gun grew tighter. My eyes flickered to my brother to see the red dot still there.

“Oh don’t be silly, love. Someone else is holding to gun. Don’t really like to get my hands dirty.” She circled to stand behind my brother, and evil smile on her lips. “All those puzzles; did you like them?” The look on her face told she wasn’t looking for an answer she was just toying with me.

“I’ve given you a glimpse, Y/n. Just the tiniest glimpse of what I have got going on in this big bad world. No one ever gets to me.” Her stare never left me as she whispered in Jin’s ear, chuckling as he shuddered.

“I did.” My fingers cocked the gun and kept it aimed towards her. She coolly moved to the right of my brother and towards me.

“You’ve come the closest. Now you’re in my way.”

“Aww thanks.”

“Didn’t mean it as a compliment, love.”

“Yes you did.”

“Yeah, okay I did.” 

Her words left a playful ring in the air and often went up in tone giving me chills. There was a fire beneath her eyes. Something dangerous. Something deadly. “But, the flirting is over, Y/n. Mommy has had enough now!” Her painted nails played with my brothers jacket. The most subtle sign of dominance. She was in control of everything.

“I’ve cut loose all those people. All those problems-”

“People have died.”

“That’s what people DO!”

Her voice echoed off the cavernous walls making me realize how alone we truly were. A moment of eerie silence followed causing me to reach into my pocket pulling out a simple black flash drive. My brother visibly gulped when he saw them. “Y/n you wouldn’t. Those codes are top secret.” 

“This is what you want yes?” She smirked and came over, plucking the drive from my hands. “Oooo. Missile codes.” She eyes the small object in her hands before meeting my gaze again.

“I could’ve got them anywhere.” With that she dropped the drive on the floor and crushed it with her heel. “Y/n, I’m surprised you haven’t figured it out yet but I could blow up NATO in alphabetical order if I wanted to at any second.”

She pulled a gun from under her blazer. “So take this as a friendly warning. Back off.” She brought up the weapon and clearly aimed it at me. “What if I was to shoot you now?” She gave a sing song laugh that rang throughout the room. “Well then you would be able to cherish the look of surprise on my face. Because, if you did, Y/n, I would truly be surprised. But, you wouldn’t be able to cherish it for long.” She loaded and cocked her own gun as well. 

“As you might have figured out, I can’t very much leave you here after I leave, so......” With a shrug she pointed the gun back at me, a smirk on her face.

“Ciao, Y/n L/n-”

The sound of a gunshot sounded and I closed my eyes for the briefest moment and I felt blood splatter across my cheek. Opening my eyes, I saw HyunA lying on the ground. Dead. Turning around I saw a small hole in the window where the bullet must have come through. My eyes then looked towards the building across the street. 

“Y/n?” My brother called out.

Rushing to him I hastily threw the coat as far away from us as possible. The both of us looked up at the sound of sirens and red and blue flashing lights coming from the front. Within seconds five policemen burst through the door and took us outside to waiting ambulances.

My feet dangled off the back of an ambulance as I sat there trying to get the EMT to take the stupid orange blanket off of me. Chief Kim interrupted the scene.

"Why do I need this blanket? They keep putting this blanket on me."

"It's for shock."

"I'm not in shock. Nothing is shocking about a man getting shot." He scoffed and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"No sign of the shooter." Kim shook his head and looked to the building across the street. "Cleared off before we got here. We've got nothing to go on."

A single disapproving look from me shut him up. "I wouldn't say that." He nodded for me to continue with a smile. "The bullet the just dug from the bookcase is a handgun. A kill shot over that distance with that type of weapon is a crack shot we're looking for. Not just a marksman; a fighter. Hands wouldn't have shaken which means they're acclimatized to violence. They didn't fire until I was in immediate danger, so one would infer they have great moral principle."

My eyes wandered as I spoke, trying to recall every detail I could gather about the shooting.

"You are most likely look for a male with a history of military service, nerves of steel, who-......." My eyes landed on Hoseok who was standing by one of the police cars simply watching all that was going around him and my words sort of trailed off. He turned and smiled innocently at me, shaking me from my trance. "Actually you know what. Ignore me."

"Sorry?"

"Ignore everything I just said. It's uh-it's just the uh-shock talking. Yeah sure."

"Where are you going? I've still got questions!"

"Oh what now! I'm in shock! Look I've got a blanket and everything!"

Kim called out to me as I walked away towards Hoseok who smiled as I came closer. "What's with the blanket?" "It's for shock. Please take the fucking thing away from me." He laughed as I shoved it into his arms. We walked side by side to the nearest main street to catch a taxi.

"Nice shot by the way."

"Yes, must have been."

"You would know."

He looked at his feet, a smile creeping onto his cheeks. "Thank you, Hoseok." My hand reached over for his and quickly latched onto his fingers. "You were very dumb to leave alone."

"Yes, but I knew you'd follow me."

"How on earth did you deduce that?"

"You love me."

He smiled down at me, the tips of his ears turning pink. "A very good deduction." His hand came up to my cheek and stroked the skin their lovingly. "I'm impatient kiss me already." He laughed and lent down to place a kiss on my lips.

Masterlist

[darklingichor]

A rant on Sherlock Holmes, Romance, and the Expectations of Fiction

*Sigh*

I fear that I have come across yet another book that insists on turning Sherlock Holmes into a love interest.

Now, I'm only a quarter of the way through and it isn't clear if Holmes will reciprocate, but the lady character is annoying enough because she has very suddenly come down with a crush on the detective, after having shown no interest before.

This literally came out of nowhere in a book that has done amazingly well at characterization of both Holmes and Watson while also playing with other characters from classic stories, and having well developed women characters who do not suddenly get crushes because a guy is paying attention to another woman for 30 seconds. And, this book, like so many, has enough going on without a lovesick sub plot. But I will get to that when I review that one.

This seems like a good as time as any to vent my spleen about  using Holmes as a romantic figure.

First, the brilliantly disguised elephant in the room: The Late Miss Adler.

I lothe when Irene Adler is made out to be a love interest, I have yet to see an interpretation where it doesn't come off as awkward.  Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I never saw Holmes’s admiration of Adler as being romantic or sexual in nature. He admired her as an equal; equal in cunning, equal in intelligence. She fooled him and he respected that. That is why he refered to her as The Woman he didn’t even see Watson as a full equal and he sure didn’t feel that any woman could be his equal in anything he thought of as important.

I also don't get why she is depicted as having a similar personality to Holmes. In A Scandal in Bohemia, Adler is using an incriminating picture as insurance against a royal, yes, but in the end she assured Holmes that all she really wanted was to keep herself safe from any action the King of Bohemia might take against her, it is implied that she had real romantic feelings for the King at one time as she felt "cruelly wronged" by him, but will not use the photo against him.  This is a woman with a brain, but she has a warmth to her that Holmes rarely has. Adler simply played chess with the master and won, she's not another Holmes.

It drives me crazy that modern writers can't fathom Holmes without a romantic relationship. I mean, how on Earth can you make a love story with a guy who does cocaine when he's bored? Keep in mind that without a case he's always bored!

He never showed any interest in any connection like that in the source material and this wasn't Victorian repression at work because Watson had his relationship with Mary, A Study in Scarlett had a love story in it. Clearly, matters of the heart were not taboo for Doyle.

I would totally go for the Holmes and Watson as a couple acting as two friends living together if it weren't for the fact that there is no subtext for this.

As genius as he is Holmes only devotes headspace to what helps with his work. Watson had to tell him that the earth revolves around the sun. He didn't know this basic fact because he doesn't need to know it to do what he does, so who cares?

With the exception of his violin and drugs, everything is focused on cases. And what do those two things have in common with his work? He can pursue them in his own way and no one will question him.

He has a lot of freedom when working with Scotland Yard because his methods get results, he plays the violin for himself, the drugs  occupy his mind when cases are sparce.

This is not a person who would have the desire to start and maintain any sort of relationship.

Watson is the exception because he lets Holmes be Holmes. He doesn't like that he does drugs, he may question and be concerned over behavior but in the end, he knows that he will do what he will do and he's learned not to take much of his behavior personally.

But his behavior in a romantic relationship? I just don't see it, not in a literary sense anyway, which is really all I can speak to.

I maybe aro ace but I know a decent love story when I read one and Holmes wouldn't fit into one. To be Holmes he would be a crappy partner, or the relationship would have to change him into someone who isn't the character we love.

I'm not saying that Doyle was making some sort of statement in making Holmes the way he his, I'm saying he wanted to make a single minded brilliant detective who solved mysteries and had adventures. Love never factored in because that's not what the stories are about.

Popular culture is so saturated with romantic and sexual love being the ultimate goal, we think that all stories need a romance to be interesting and to follow a character through multiple stories means following them through relationships.

Never mind if it fits the story, it just has to be there. Somewhere along the line it was decided that for a character to be interesting, for a story to hold interest, the main character had to have a love interest, to make them "relatable".

Let's forget the inharant dehumanization of people who do not have or may not want romantic relationships in this line of thinking, for the moment.

Doyle wrote multiple stories with Holmes as the central character, but he never intended for him to be relatable, that's what Watson is for. Holmes isn't meant to be the every man. He's meant to be a singular personality the world's only consulting detective.

He also wrote all of these stories without Holmes having a love interest, and people still read them. The very fact that these modern writers who take Sherlock Holmes and reimagine him, but either shoehorn in an element that doesn't fit, or change the character to make him fit what they think sells is, in my opinion, insulting.

Holmes and Watson, as Doyle made them orginated in the 19th century. In the 21st century, they are still well known and loved enough to inspire movies, TV shows and various books. And some of these writers think that they can improve the character by making the man who will allow his closest friend to think he's dead, fall in love? Seriously, other than acting for the sake of a case, can anyone imagine Holmes sincerely courting anyone? And then for the modern set retellings. Picture Holmes on a date.

"Good evening, darling. Have I told you about my recent insights into the categorizing of ash? You may be interested since I can see that you have recently started smoking again.

How do I know? Oh, the tell tale smell under the purfume is evident, but could be explained by spending time with someone who is a heavy smoker. However, add that I observed you looking around for an outdoor ashtray when you got out of the cab. There is also the matter of you glancing at your watch to see when leaving to have a cigarette will not seem rude. You also seem to have the tense energy of one who has reintroduced a stimulate that has been long out of the body. What? Don't be rediculous, logically speaking, I cannot be the reason you smoke."

Add to his habit of shooting at walls, anyone in a relationship with him would be half tempted to brain him and call it self defense.

I can hear you say, but what about Watson?

Holmes and Watson are unboutly the most important relationships in either's life, they are more like friends or brothers. Because Holmes doesn't need anything else and Watson, sucks at it a little bit.

All of this is to say: Holmes doesn't need to focus on romance in his stories, there is no reason to force him to in others!

[skydiving-without-a-parachute]

Release Day

Enjoy this rambling of a fanfic with the most hurried and inspire-lost ending ever.

Pairing: Johnlock (Sherlock Holmes x John Watson) | Genre: Angst, fluff, explicit smut! | Word count: 2254 words | Warnings: Talk about rape, mention of suicide

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It had been the day John had been totally, completely, undeniably sure would never ever come. Sherlock had broken some laws in the name of a case, and this time neither Mycroft nor Lestrade had been able to save him. Six months in prison. Four for his minor crimes and two for mouthing off at his hearings. What a dumbass, John had thought. So brilliant, and yet, a complete dumbass.

It had been the longest six months in his life though; A life without Sherlock was hard to keep going. John had not even bothered to get out of bed the days he was off from the clinic. His off days were absolute agony. No cases, no taking care of Sherlock... God, he would have killed even for a good fight with Sherlock!

But here he now was, at the gates of the prison, finally seeing Sherlock walking out in his sharp suit he had been wearing when arrested. Six months had not only been long, because John was bored, but because it had given him time to actually think about things. He wasn't constantly going after Sherlock, he was just... By himself. And in those six months he had realized things.

Sherlock looked around and soon spotted John, his face lighting up a little. Clearly he had not expected John to be there when he would finally be released. The detective strode over to his doctor, who grabbed him in a tight hug. It felt good. John felt Sherlock's dark, smooth curls and breathed in his fresh scent. Sherlock had showered and shaved, and judging by the short strands of hair on his shoulders, he had gotten a hair cut as well. He looked exactly the same as the day Lestrade had cuffed him. John was sure half the department had volunteered as the arresting officer, but due to their history and Lestrade's undeniable fondess for Sherlock, Greg had handled the arresting himself.

They sat in silence, both in their chairs, as they were meant to. John had been studying Sherlock the entire evening, not being able to find any symptoms of having suffered a trauma in Sherlock. After another thirty minutes, Sherlock grew annoyed. "What is it, John?" His voice was sharp, as he lowered his book. "Huh? Oh, I... Nothing", John responded, trying to seem genuine, but obviously the detective was having none of it. The world's most successful detective in the history of mankind wouldn't fall for any of John's lies, ever, and the doctor should have been aware of it. Sherlock's stare was drilling holes through John's skull. "You seemed to survive jail well", John finally told him. For a fraction of a second Sherlock seemed confused, before his lips parted and he looked down, realizing, what John meant. "I was. Repeatedly", he admitted silently, biting his teeth together. John could see Sherlock's facial muscles tense up. "Oh my god, Sherlock... I'm so sorry."

The silence built up again. John was deep in his thoughts while Sherlock was still reading his book. One could practically hear the dust settling in the room. "How did you...", John abruptly broke the silence, not daring to finish his sentence. Not that he needed to, Sherlock had known the sentence since John uttered the first word. "My mind palace, John", he replied, eyes focused on the pages, but he stopped reading. "I went to my mind palace. Thought of some unsolved cases and... And you."

John's head snapped up and he looked at Sherlock like a deer in the headlights. Had Sherlock just said that he had gotten through rape by thinking about him? John's head was reeling. "It's okay", the detective continued. John wanted to tell Sherlock to stop talking, but this was probably Sherlock's way of conciously or subconciously tell him, that he needed to talk to someone about it, so John kept his mouth shut. "I have never enjoyed sex. It's dull, a boring need. Like eating and sleeping. Absolutely meaningless."

The good doctor felt sorry for Sherlock. He had never experienced a good shag? He had felt like rape was just another time he was having bad sex? John got up from his chair, took a few determined steps towards Sherlock, and sat down in his lap, knees on both sides of Sherlock. "Sherlock, I am going to kiss you. If you don't like it, tell me to stop", he told the detective, and proceeded to bring his lips down on Sherlock's, cupping his face with his rough hands. John started slow and gentle, but got more passionate, when Sherlock's lips parted. Their tongues tangoed, as John pressed closer to Sherlock's body. The detective wrapped his long arms around John, as his book fell to the floor with a thud.

John's breath was ragged, his pulse off the charts and he could almost feel his dilated pupils. Sherlock wasn't in a much better condition; His breath was hot and heavy on John's skin and his eyes had gone dark. It only fueled John's fire. "All good?" he felt the need to ask. This was for once about Sherlock. John wanted him to feel loved and understand just how amazing sex could be. Much to his relief, Sherlock nodded, "it feels... good, John." The doctor lost himself in another kiss, before realizing, that Sherlock might not be comfortable in the chair. "Want to move to the bedroom?" "I think that could be a good idea", Sherlock let out a little laugh, that made John smile wide.

Sherlock always did look good in purple, but John wasn't gonna dwell over that as he started to unbutton said color shirt. He had already discarded his jumper and Sherlock's jacket on the floor. The detective looked absolutely delicious laying on his back on the bed, looking up at John with lustful eyes. Never mind John "Three Continents" Watson, this was a real achievement - Sherlock Holmes, not having a single good shag in his life, lusting for the doctor.

John let out a moan, as Sherlock removed his trousers and pants, and grabbed John's erect cock. "Oh god... You have... You have lube?" John was out of breath, more than he should have been at this point. He could've cum all over Sherlock's toned stomach just by looking at the detective underneath him. Sherlock was so fucking gorgeous, his skin milky white and bones almost pressing through. John trailed one of Sherlock's collar bones through his skin, before reaching for the lube Sherlock promised would be in the top drawer of the nightstand.

John squeezed some lube on his hand, warmed it up and slowly started working Sherlock's cock, drawing the most sinful moan out of the detective's mouth. God, John was going to be wanking to that moan for ages. "Condoms?" "I- I wasn't prepared for that, but you won't be needing one. It's okay, we're both clean", Sherlock struggled to talk, arching his back slightly at the pleasant feeling John was causing.

Being a doctor was a privilege, to be able to help so many people, but every once in a while John found it to be an advantage in his personal life; This was one of those times. John slicked a finger and after massaging around Sherlock's hole for a minute, he pushed it in. He could hear Sherlock hiss at the feeling, so he gave him a moment to adjust, before starting to look for his prostate. The walnut-sized gland was easy to find with said medical training, and John didn't hesitate to use every single trick in his book on it. Before he even knew it, Sherlock was rocking himself onto John's finger, moaning and wanting more.

John drew his finger out, earning a displeased whimper, but soon pushed back in, this time two fingers, and headed back to Sherlock's prostate. John felt a burning need to pull out his fingers and fuck Sherlock utterly senseless. This is about Sherlock, he reminded himself. This is about giving him for once in his life a good experience that's all about him. All about someone loving and wanting to please him. The thought was almost as good as getting to fuck Sherlock, so he rolled with it. This seemed to please Sherlock the most, so John would keep it up at any cost.

"Good god, John!" Sherlock's body was tensing up and he felt a heat building in his stomach, pushing him to worm against John's fingers even more desperately. John knew Sherlock was chasing his climax, so he added just a little more pressure in massaging, and wrapped his other hand around Sherlock's twitching cock. A few strokes did it, and Sherlock came undone with a cry.

God, he looked so beautiful, absolutely wrecked with pleasure. Judging from the lube, Sherlock did please himself every once in a while, but John was sure he had never experienced something this good. Sherlock's ivory skin was covered in a thin sheet of sweat, riddled with hormones that made an intoxicating scent. His dark hair was messy and his plump lips parted, as he breathed heavily after John had guided him through his orgasm. The doctor completely ignored his own touch-starved erection, and just kneeled between Sherlock's long legs and watched the beautiful view in front of him. Sherlock opened finally his eyes as the corners of his mouth tugged upwards. "That was... good. I apologize for my lack of a better word."

John let Sherlock just enjoy his bliss and wrapped a hand around his own cock, when he felt Sherlock gently grab his wrist. "Just... Wait just a second, alright? You deserve some reward of your own", Sherlock promised, apparently feeling like he owed John to let him fuck him. "Oh no, Sherlock, this is... This is not something you keep score of", John told him. "This has nothing to do with me. This was all about you, Sherlock. About you having one good shag even if it would be the end of me", he explained, feeling a little sting in his heart. He wanted to be more than one good shag, he wanted to be Sherlock's everything the way Sherlock was his everything. He wanted to stop sleeping upstairs and move into Sherlock's room, to make gentle love in the morning sunlight and to cure Sherlock's overthinking with a good pounding, when he was getting lost in a difficult case.

"I want to." John felt his heart stop for a second, as he looked into Sherlock's silvery blue eyes. Sherlock actually wanted to have sex with John. It couldn't have all been the effect of one good orgasm, could it? "But you just climaxed", John protested. "I recover fast, doctor", Sherlock smirked at him. John shook his head, slightly amused at Sherlock's reply. "You sure?" he confirmed, and got an eager nod in response.

It was better than John could have ever imagined. After prepping Sherlock properly and lubing himself generously, John aligned himself with Sherlock, and pushed in. A soft cry left his lips as he slowly pushed all the way in, letting Sherlock adjust and find a comfortable position. Oh my god, Sherlock was so tight and hot. John was already moaning like a freight train when he slowly pulled away, almost to the end, and pushed back in. He started building up a pace and tried to angle his thrusts so he brushed Sherlock's prostate every single time. And good god, when Sherlock started to beg for John to absolutely wreck him... "Harder, John, please!" He gave Sherlock everything he had, until he reached his release, crying out in ecstacy.

Sherlock helped himself into his second climax while John was panting and half out of it. Apparently it had been a while since he had gotten laid properly. The detective held his doctor close and closed his eyes, just enjoying the moment. He felt thorougly spent, but thoroughly loved. It hadn't been a coincidence, that he had thought about John while getting raped in prison; John was his everything. John was the reason Sherlock made it ouf of prison alive. While Sherlock was the master at manipulating and managing his feelings, being in prison, where his tall and thin frame - and especially that cute bottom and curly hair of his - had been very appreciated, could have gotten the best of him. Even if he hadn't killed himself, he wouldn't have been the same man that went in. Sure, he wasn't the same man in this scenario either, but with John by his side, he would be able to recover.

"They said it was the only thing this pretty mouth of mine was good for", Sherlock quietly said later that evening, laying in bed with John. They had showered and had dinner, before crawling back into Sherlock's bed together. But as he saw the horror on John's face, he realized, that he shouldn't have said that. "I'm sorry, John, that was very insensitive of me-" "No, Sherlock. If you need to talk about it, talk about it. I'm here, I'll listen, day or night. Don't you once think you have to keep this inside." John was almost defensive, sounding nearly... Angry? Had Sherlock angered him? "You are the world's most brilliant, most successful detective. Your mouth tells the rest of us what's going through your head, and it's bloody brillint. The most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed", the doctor kept talking, looking at Sherlock with a serious look. "Don't ever think they were right." "Thank you, John."

[secretshinigami]

Masterlist of B’s Bitchin Prompts

A compiled list of everyone’s prompts from this round of our exchange – thank you for letting us post them, and we hope you guys enjoy them! If you use a prompt, please let us know and we’ll reblog your piece!

Prompts are organized by their submitter, so feel free to ctrl+f to find character-specific prompts.

fandom-fae

Misa surrounded by lots of flowers, with Rem floating in the background.

Light, happy, wearing goth/emo clothes & he’s holding an apple.

Female!L and female!Light  on a date in an ice café

Misa  in pastel goth fashion, reading a book.

Shien from Light Up The New World meeting Mello (from his time at the mafia) and Misa (from before L died)

Near and Misa eating ice cream together

Misa painting Mello’s nails

Linda painting Misa

Mello in pastel clothes, being in a café with Misa

Beyond crying with A’s dead body in the background

Misa standing on the edge of the building she jusmped off, viewed through the shinigami eyes.

Light waking up in his teenage bedroom after he died, as a seventeen-year-old a day before he would’ve found the death note, and what he’d do

Mello finds the death note instead of Light, and if he’d tell Matt about it

Beyond and Misa spending a day together (going shopping, playing pranks on ppl, committing murder, a date, etc. it’s your choice!)

(pre-canon) Misa going on vacation with her family to Winchester, and befriending the Wammy’s kids, Maki and her father are also there

(pre-canon) Mello adopting a stray cat and naming her L, he absolutely adores her. one day she dies, how he would react

Naomi meets L, she thinks he’s Beyond Birthday. how does he convince her otherwise?

Light being suicidal, and either Misa or L stop him from killing himself, and the conversation that ensues

 Linda lives in LA, and gets contacted by Near, years after the Kira case

Misa performing a ritual to talk to ghosts after Light died. She actually manages to contact a ghost, L’s ghost

Beyond contacting Misa because someone told him she had a god of death at her command, and he wants to bring someone back (A, or L, your decision), Rem (compassionately) explaining that it doesn’t work that way, and Misa comforting Beyond (it’s optional whether or not they end up friends)

gevnni

Light and Mikami having a lightsaber fight

Rester is Takada's bodyguard

Gevanni putting together a ship in a bottle

the FBI asks B for help in a case + Naomi and Raye look on slightly horrified at his antics

Rester is Takada's bodyguard

Gevanni putting together a ship in a bottle while on a case

nocturneproductions

Fem!Light

MatsuLight kissing

Beyond birthday being creepy

Mob!au, ideally focused on Light

Light and Matsuda on a first date

Ryuk stays with Light during the Yotsuba arc

hazblogs

A in a crop top with the queer flag(s) of your choice

Mello and sun imagery

Pokémon (Go or not) AU with the Wammy gang (including possible OCs of yours)

band AU with Light, Misa, Ryuk and L

Light with Hanahaki disease (you can pick the ship you want, make it AU or not)

Naomi and BB interacting (during the LABB case or in an AU)

L/Light being soulmates (canon or AU)

how Matt started smoking (I am comfortable with heavy drug themes)

ikathemadhatter

Light and L as goth idols

Naomi & B as Pokemon trainers

L taking care of a cat

Lucifer!Light

Light, L and Misa dressed up for Halloween

LawLight Little Mermaid AU where Light is a mermaid

LawLight Mad Max AU

What chain of events brought Wammy to adopt L?

During Yotsuba Arc, Misa forces Light on a night date at the karaoke and L has to follow them because he and Light are still chained together. What happens after few drinks and some songs?

jam-knife

Naomi and B rocking some tuxedos!

Mello and Matt just laying around at Wammy's. Just a nice art is more than enough, but if you feel like making it into a funny one-panel comic then that would be awesome :D

Misa and B (and any other character you feel like including) killing it at Met Gala -literally or figuratively or both is up to you xD

An LxLight slowburn with Yotsuba!Light obsessing over whether he is in fact Kira or not.

The Tales of That One Time Mello Allegedly Beat Matt's Ass at Mario Kart.

A first-person narration of Misa after finding out Light died, and how she planned her suicide (but if it's a triggering subject for you I totally get it! No probs at all)

misas-biggest-fan

misa at one of her concerts! super hardcore and goth and metal

 Light and L being soft and loving to each other!!

misa and beyond but LIFE SWAP AU where b is the tormented rockstar second kira and misa is the bitter, murderous wammy's kid!

beyond meets naomi before starting his LABB plan and his love for her convinces him not to go through w it <3333 you can make it romantic if you want by im more a platonic ship sort of dude!

kira!L goes up against detective!Light

light being tailed by L’s ghost

niatsuki

Near and Light kissing

Mikami and Light in the rain sharing an umbrella

Mello travelling

Domestic Mikalight

Matsuda confronting Near on the theory he brings up at the end of the manga

Nate and Light having an obtuse argument, but with romantic undertones

ichigosouma

L wearing Gucci

Watari on his day off

Anyone as a pokemon trainer

Misa and Beyond going shopping

Mikami and Kiyomi hanging out on their day off

Ryuk and Rem playing the wii together

translightyagami

L in a sweater that says "My Gender is Shut the Fuck Up"

Light with a bloody nose and starry eyes

L with his hair in a loose ponytail, reading a Nancy Drew book

The books L read as a child, bonus points if you do Nancy Drew and not Sherlock

3 drinks Light has had with men he's in love with (your choice on who the men are)

L putting Light into a coat and leaving an object in his pocket that Light finds later, with Light speculating what the object means.

izaori

Backup in a magical girl outfit (whether it's from akazukin chacha or somewhere else, it doesn't matter)

Mello playing a sport like soccer or baseball, in a cool sports uniform perhaps

Sayu and Light studying together!!

Backup back in his Wammy days before doing the LABB, interacting with other students or working on case files

Light and Yuri's date at the amusement park since she still wanted to go so badly after the bus-jacking incident.

 L and Rem have a chat shortly before L's death, by themselves. L likely knows he'll be dying soon, and Rem has the same feeling.

pensulliwen

Misa making Valentine’s Day chocolate, perhaps while daydreaming about a fantastically unlikely result of giving them to Light.

Meme redraws featuring Misa, Light, and L. Just go crazy. Any ridiculous meme image, shove these dorks in there instead.

A family portrait of Misa when she was younger, imagining her parents and sister or with their faces obscured.

Misa and Mogi on a shopping “date” in which the unlikely pair manage to work together surprisingly well. 

Light considers eliminating Misa from the equation many times, but there’s always something that stops him. Explore how he views her and the dissonance between how he views her versus how he views himself, as well as the reasoning for keeping her around longer than intended. 

An older Sayu reflecting on how her relationship with her brother has changed, and maybe trying to rekindle the closeness she felt when they were younger. 

stanmisa

Misa in fashionable clothes or Misa in Scene/emo fashion

L x Light hate-relationship

Misa, Light, and L (and any other characters you prefer) as fantasy classes/races, like d&d

L/Light hate pining/complicated emotions between these emotionally stunted men

Misa getting together with Rem instead of Light

Sayu and Misa being friends

yagami-raito-kun

Light and Near interacting in any form

College professor AU (any characters)

Art inspired by any of my fics or drabbles is always welcome!

Light in prison always gets a hell yeah

Light and Sayu at the beach being siblings and having fun

Canon divergence: Mello kidnaps Light instead of Sayu

sculs-cf-scnder 

 Misa Amane giving Beyond Birthday a very Misa makeover

Demegawa at a spa, getting pampered after a hard day at work 

Team Kira (Mikami, Light, Misa, Takada, Higuchi is optional) as a visual kei band.

Death Note is actually a TV drama; Misa and Light are actors and Misa is starting to think that Light hates her just like his character even though they are dating

An insight on the aftermath of Aizawa quitting, how did his family react, doubts about his marriage and his future

Sachiko and Sayu take the day off to have a girls' night.

eyeshiny

Beyond chilling with some tigers in the jungle (if you enjoy drawing animals)

70s fashion Mello+Matt (romantic or no)

stone faced 1920s family-style portrait of L + the Wammy boys (A+B included or removed, however youd like)

Beyond and A start a ghosthunting business, B is essentially a fake psychic but A can actually see ghosts

Pre-orphanage backstory for any of the Wammy boys (not necessarily tragic! think series of unfortunate events moreso than a true crime documentary)

What if death note was written like a seinfeld episode?

Anonymous

Sidoh drinking hot chocolate & being happy

B in a bathrobe with a strawberry pattern

Naomi and Halle on a date

Awkward post-Kira case dinner at Gevanni's house that includes all four living members of the SPK

Mello interviews B, but B mostly just trolls him and doesn't give clear answers to anything he asks

L uses astrology to try and prove that Light is Kira

Your interpretation of A with B sharing a nice moment at Wammy’s house 

A few characters of your choice aged-up (what do you think they’d have looked like in the show if they had grown older?)

Matt and Mello (either at wammy’s house or after— doesn’t have to be super shippy if you don’t want)

Near with a big fluffy dog— maybe a therapy/comfort dog

Either L or Naomi visiting Beyond in prison

Gevanni, Rester, or other SPK members reflecting on Near. Maybe including an attempt at trying and failing to treat him like a child

A and Beyond are alive for the Kira case au

Past light meeting future light

90s fashion Beyond

Creepy contortionist L

the Death Note cast recreating a famous painting1. Mello and Beyond bonding (but not as a ship)

Light in any of the circles of Hell

the main Death Note cast set in a 'Lord of the Flies' situation

Naomi, B and L shenanigans

Halle, Wedy and Naomi as Charlie's angels1. Naomi visiting B in jail

Raye meeting B

D&D AU

Misa and Rem painting each other's nails black.

Matt and Mello cuddling and watching the rain.

L dressed as Sherlock Holmes.

oleswap AU between L and Light.

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde AU with Light as Jekyll (Kira being his hidden personality aka Hyde) and L as Gabriel Utterson.

A story of how Ryuuk summarizes his adventure with the human world in a poem, really dark poem, which he later declaims to the Shinigami King and the unnamed Shinigami.

[maskedheroics]

𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝟎𝟎𝟏 / 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊 𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄* / DO NOT COPY OR REBLOG

IN WHICH MARY MORSTAN IS EXACTLY WHOM SHE CLAIMED TO BE AND NOT AN ILL-THOUGHT TWIST FOR THE SAKE OF MAN PAIN

INCLUDES SPOILERS FOR SERIES 3 & 4

Mary Morstan was an orphan raised in the foster system until she was eighteen years old. She was born in Cardiff, but she was sent to homes all over the place for years on end, prompting a very unstable childhood. She had a few wild years during her teens and early twenties, partying and shirking responsibilities. She dated people who were bad for her; and hung out with friends who dragged her down. Mary felt hurt and disillusioned by the world around her, drowning out her feelings and unprocessed trauma from her youth of feeling unwanted and unloved.

Mary was working in a dead-end job in a shop to make ends meet, tired of coming into work after a screaming match with her boyfriend at the time over the same things over and over again. Mary was tired and on the verge of breaking point after all these years. She felt like she was seconds away from making a terrible mistake.

Rock bottom came the night of her twenty-third birthday, when she came home to find her partner cheating on her (again) — and trying to blame her and gaslight her (again) for it and finally snapped. Mary broke up with him, to his anger — and found herself walking out the door and wandering the streets of the city for hours in the rain. While she was wandering, she felt her chest aching and her mind reeling. She thought she was going crazy, thought maybe she was having a heart attack. Eventually feeling herself shut down and sit on the curb crying incoherently. The rest of the night was a blur, but when Mary regained consciousness she was in the hospital being told that someone had called them because they had been frightened about her condition — and she had suffered from an extreme anxiety attack and a bit of hypothermia from the storm.

Mary couldn’t go back to what she had been doing, she was scared and stressed and sad all the time. It was killing her. She wasn’t admitted, but she was referred to a therapist and given the card of a support worker. It was extremely hard, she had to change a lot of things in her life. Cut a lot of ties — but that was nothing compared to the difficulties she had confronting the things in her life that she had been actively avoiding for years.

By the time Mary was twenty six, Mary had started to find new support systems. She was working still, but she was also now starting school. Her motivation to become a nurse, inspired by her new best friend who felt she had a knack for it (and as she was also one, Mary trusted her when she said that). Things weren’t perfect, but they were better. She hadn’t dated in a while, not quite ready to go down that route just yet.

About four years later, however, that would change. Mary had begun a new job at a clinic in London where she met Doctor John Watson. The two had got on pretty quickly, but fear of risking her job gave her a bit of pause before pursing the growing dynamic between them. As she grew to know him, Mary learned more about John’s past. Sherlock, the war — and although she wasn’t about to claim their damages were on the same level; the fact that they were both patching themselves back together again gave them something to bond over.

Mary wanted to hate Sherlock when she first met him, appearing in the restaurant after letting him think he had been dead all this time — her first words to the man were her cursing him — but as the night progressed, and their party moved from place to place due to their fights; the woman couldn’t help but be charmed by him. He had an excitement to him, one that kind of reminded her of the rush her old life had held (without the heavy cost to her well-being). Even in his rage, she could see John come to life in a way he hadn’t in two years since she’d known him. It was hard not to be sucked in; however she knew what he had done was wrong and while she encouraged John to speak to him — she also knew where her loyalties lied.

Then John was kidnapped. After that, they were sucked in. Apart of Sherlock Holmes’ world and she loved it; but she quickly learned that their world came with great risks and outcomes. Mary and John faced it together, with their friends and although the world was unstable — she found that this time, it was a kind of instability that she could handle. Perhaps this time because she had those on her team now, helping each other. Balancing each other out. It was familiar, but better.

Mary and John married, and not long after gave birth to their daughter Rosamund Mary Watson; naming Mrs. Hudson, Molly Hooper and Sherlock Holmes the godparents. Although a baby made chasing criminals around town difficult, they managed to find balance between the two and make it work.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION

Mary is still shot in the aquarium, but she is shot trying to pull Sherlock to the ground. The shot is not fatal, and both survive the incident. Instead it hits her arm and while she has some recovery and her arm is never fully the same again afterwards, all survive the encounter.

Just in case it needed repeating, Mary is not an assassin in this verse. She has skill sets that come in handy, but she is relatively normal and adjusted otherwise.   

The default is because of the lack of assassin plot, there's no emotional affair plot either because there's no divide for it to sprout from.

For the Magnussen plot, there are more than enough characters in the episode and in the series itself to draw the gang in. Mary does know Janine and might tip Sherlock off at the wedding about her job (inadvertently planting the idea in his head), but she doesn't use that for her own gain.

I don't have a full canon for how The Lying Detective works, but I feel like even though she's fine --- Mary getting shot would likely still cause some tensions with their newborn child and make them reevaluate somethings. Which could lead to distance, and maybe a version of events where Sherlock is relapsing for real and Sherlock and John had to confront their demons and unresolved issues outside their relationship and within it. Which isn't to say they don't want to go on these adventures, or 'ruin' the fun --- but they have a small person to look after and getting shot at by choice is not a good way to do that and this dynamic is just going through a re-calibration period. I'll likely plot this with partners specifically to make it work for out threads, but this is my generic default.

Because of how fast paced and unexpected it is, Mary is with them when Eurus' drone attacks Baker Street and is with the three of them there. She also was apart of the trick played on Mycroft by Sherlock and John to push him to confess to Eurus' existence --- but she also voices during the scene that she thought the whole thing was a tad bit dramatic, but when are things ever not. "Also, the costume fit and it was a little funny."

[yinzhengs]

xia talks about 绅探 | detective l

— where i’ve been watching detective l: eng sub (YT) || raws (maplestage)

— so i’ve finally made my way thru all 8 eps that have been released thus far. i know some people have been asking for my opinion, so here’s a post that’s meant to hopefully sum up everything i’ve been feeling about this show, personally. any spoilers in my review are very minor!

if you’re not familiar with the show, it’s a sherlock holmes inspired mystery/crime show set in the shanghai french concession during the republican period, starring bai yu, you jingru, and ji chen. at the moment, the show’s at a 7.3/10 on douban, and it was trending at #5 for web-series, so it’s definitely enjoying popularity.

disclaimer: this is just my personal opinion — no matter how i feel about the show, i heavily encourage everyone to check it out for themselves before coming to a conclusion!

+ setting

you know, if there’s one thing i do dig about this show (in theory), it’s the setting. while i’m not a big fan of the set, for reasons i’ll go into below, i think the time period lends itself to some interesting setups and unique cases. as mentioned, it takes place in the republican period in shanghai’s french concession. if i had to guess, it takes place in the 30′s — but my chinese history is shaky, and this is entirely based on some throwaway details mentioned in later cases. suffice it to say that it's a pretty cool setting, and while i was skeptical at first, i did find myself getting into it.

+ characters

another thing i like about the show is the character concepts — in theory, if not always in practice. we have a kind of triumvirate in the main trio. 

first, we have luo fei, the sherlock of the series and arguably its main character, who serves as a consulting detective for the shanghai police department. while he’s occasionally (mostly accidentally) an asshole, he’s generally likable and a far cry from the more eccentric/socially inept portrayals of sherlock holmes in modern adaptations. we start seeing a hint of his backstory in recent episodes, and cases soon start getting tied into his feud with an elusive “captain,” likely the show’s moriarty.

next, we have qin xiaoman, a rookie officer newly assigned to the dept, who has a fiesty temper and a fierce passion for making sure justice is served. in an enjoyable twist, she’s generally the one that does the heavy lifting: chasing perps down, aiming down sights, slamming suspects to the ground — she also soon learns to make deductions of her own, as well. 

finally, we have........................benjamin (本杰明). his name / its transliteration makes me laugh a little bit whenever i see it, so generally i just refer to the poor guy as ben. anyway, he’s a reserved forensic examiner who also serves as the department’s forensic analyst — he pretty much lives in the morgue, and is more comfortable with the dead than with the living. (also, he has a pretty cute bromance with luo fei...) his backstory’s interesting, and i like his character a lot because it plays perfectly off of the other two’s preexisting dynamic — here’s hoping that he gets more screentime and development! 

(ot3? ot3.)

+ cases

there are mixed opinions about the cases, but my personal take is that they’re pretty enjoyable to watch. while they’re not super hard to figure out / generally don’t have a whole lot of killer twists, they’re also not terribly unrealistic. they can get a little convoluted, but such is the eternal curse of mystery shows, i suppose. a lot of the smaller puzzles that luo fei solves are also contingent on some Pretty Chinese elements, which i found very cute (麻雀/麻将, 简谱, to name two). so yeah, they do a pretty okay job of taking classic mystery cases and making them fit in the setting given. more importantly, the process by which they unravel the cases is generally fun to watch, which is really the crucial part of any good mystery/crime show.

that being said, as someone who’s watched quite a few crime shows, i’m entirely not convinced that the writing for the cases is sufficient to keep me watching — even though they’re fun, i haven’t seen much so far that makes me feel like the show’s doing anything different from the usual formula. of course, that’s fine — crime shows don’t need to reinvent the wheel, they just need to make themselves worth watching, one way or another (normally thru character chemistry/acting, etc).

- some familiar sights/sounds...

why did they use the cinemasins stock sound effect multiple times

anyway, that aside, there are obvious nods to sherlock (bbc) — the main theme, luo fei’s initial appearance, the deduction scene in the car...

well, is it plagiarism? i guess not (or well, sina doesn’t think so), but what detective l’s doing here is less reinventing the wheel and more... repainting tires, if you catch my drift.

also, if you’re someone who pays a lot of attention to film ost’s, you’ll be assaulted with a LOT of familiar sounding melodies, be warned. this isn’t necessarily something that detracts from the drama, but it’s definitely something that’s thrown me for a loop / broken my immersion multiple times.

? tone

here’s where i start getting a little hesitant about the show, one of my main gripes: i’m really not sure what kind of tone the show is aiming for. while it’s clearly not a show that takes itself too seriously, and certainly not a dark/hard-boiled noir, occasionally there are moments included where characters rail at, for example, the imperfection/injustice of their supposedly impartial justice system — and while i’m not saying that the show can’t go there, it came off to me as just very thin attempts to increase the show’s depth while also not elaborating on those issues at all. and that’s what’s bothered me the most: the illusion of depth. 

i’ll be the first to admit, though, that this is probably because i’m watching this directly after OS, which definitely tackled those issues from the start and had a radically different tone — i just feel like detective l, at least so far, hasn’t settled into one yet, and so i felt like there were some definite moments of tone incongruity / moments when i thought the show would continue with issues it’d raised ... but it didn’t.

- cinematography / lighting

take this with a disclaimer: i think the lighting and design in this show is gorgeous... for stills.

for a moving film? not so much.

i’ve said earlier that i felt like some of the lines felt scripted — but if anything enhances that artificiality, it’s definitely some of the set design. it’s clearly a studio set, and i can’t really begrudge them that part, but some of the lighting is so clearly artificial that it’s been starting to get to me — characters inside a normal room (lit by an innocuously dim overhead lamp) shouldn’t have three separate colors reflecting off their faces like a hobbyist artist’s color study sketches (though it does do a good job of highlighting bai yu’s jawline unnecessarily, in like, every other scene). 

they’re clearly trying to create a mood through coloring / lighting, but ... often, i find, it’s at the cost of realism and could definitely be toned down a bit. (i find that over-the-top coloring is pretty common in cdramas, though, so this is probably also very subjective.)

(also, as with most cdramas.. they could probably do with less cgi.)

- acting / directing

alright, i’ll be honest: i’m not a fan of the acting in this.

in my personal opinion, something about the leads’ acting comes off as overly dramatized (esp. in xiaoman’s case) or slightly forced/artificial (in bai yu’s case). this could just be me not really being used to these two actors, but there were multiple times when i was surprised at how overdramatic/unrealistic some lines were delivered. same goes for minor characters, as well — something about the entire show just strikes me as extremely scripted, to the point where it breaks my immersion a lot. this might just be me, though, because i’ve def. heard some praises of the line delivery in this that i couldn’t wrap my mind around: take my words with a grain of salt, i suppose. 

(also, of course, i’ve been watching this directly after coming from white deer plain — which has some really down-to-earth acting and a setting/tone that’s worlds apart from detective l. maybe i’m drawing too many direct comparisons: white deer plain definitely has some amazing acting, and it’s a high bar to set, esp for a drama filled with more younger actors.)

directing-wise... i definitely wish i could ask why they made some of the choices they did. while the subs haven’t reached that point yet, there are definitely some cliche tropes that they start throwing in around ep. 6 that heavily detracted from my enjoyment of the show, esp. with the show’s (perhaps over-the-top) use of slow motion at times + (imo) forcing chemistry before it’s had time to develop.

as a result though, i really can’t find myself getting attached to either of the main two (i like ben, probably because he hasn’t had enough screentime for me to be turned off yet, though) — i think that the acting choices for qin xiaoman definitely made her more unlikable for me despite me being a fan of her character in... theory. similarly, luo fei often feels too thin as a character — i’m constantly searching for depth there that i’m not sure i’m finding. so far, while these two are foils, they really feel like nothing more. maybe it’s too early to tell (but hey, i’m a third of the way through, aren’t i?), but i’m definitely finding myself wishing at almost every turn that there was more to the acting there — though they’re definitely being stingy with releasing characters’ backstories / hints to their backstories, which could help contextualize their behavior a little more. 

overall: would i recommend it?

my very eloquent answer is... it depends. if you’re looking for a fun mystery romp that doesn’t always take itself too seriously with a unique setting and some interesting cases, then by all means: detective l might be up your alley!

that being said, i think it has a lot of flaws — notably, veteran crime show fans might not find enough flesh on the show’s bones to justify watching it for the cases alone — but if you can overlook them, it’s a fun show to watch: just don’t go in looking for stunning acting or dark moral quandaries. 

[malereader-inserts]

Brother

Fandom: BBC Sherlock Pairing: Sherlock & Brother!Reader & Mycroft Summary: In reality, you were always the better brother, but in a cruel way, it never seems to be recognised. Word Count: 2,685 Request: Hello beautiful soul! May I request another Holmes!Brother fic? Either a new one or a sequel to the mute brother one? Thanks, lovely!  Warning: Injury, mention of depression and mention of suicide. A/n: I love a good brothers fic, inspired by the song brother by Kodaline, suffer.

Sherlock and Mycroft have never shown each other love, care or affection towards each other. In fact, you may have mistaken them for actually despising each other, but that’s not true. They care about each other, so much so that you often forget that you were their brother as well.

But, you were a famous Holmes, nothing could keep you from trouble. You were the one that always makes sacrifices, the two elder brothers of yours rarely notice. See, you had a massive age gap between you and Mycroft, and a smaller age gap between you and Sherlock. You were the youngest, merely twenty-seven years old while Sherlock was living seven years ahead and fourteen with Mycroft.

There were days you longed when you were younger again, when you played pirates or kings and queens, with daring sword fights as if you had ruled the world and there wasn’t a worry or a doubt in life. You wished to relive that life, a life with no regrets as you smoked behind your parents back.

Back then, there was hardly any competition. 

But, Mycroft got successful, working with the British Government whilst Sherlock is the world’s greatest consulting detective. You, well your brothers didn’t know what you do, often times you would travel. You worked as a spy agent, often times a hacker, and you made sure Mycroft didn’t know about your work.

Despite being able to deduce everyone, your brothers couldn’t figure out what you did for a living.

Somehow you end up in getting in Sherlock’s business, when he was getting gunned down he could count on you to appear and cover him, getting him out safely and allowing him to get the killer. It was the little things.

Yet, notwithstanding being the less favourable brother, you would die for them in an instant. They don’t know how many times you have gotten into situations that you had experienced a lot of your blood, gunshots and stab wounds. 

You had their backs as if the world was ending.

“New tattoo?” John questions as you had popped into Sherlock’s apartment to say hi.

“Oh, yeah,” You shrugged at Sherlock gives you a side eye, you smiled at Sherlock grimace, “I’ll be out of your hair in a minute Sherlock, Myc told me to deliver this to you before I fly out to Morocco.”

“Leave it by the table.”

The dull tone of Sherlock made you sigh, dropping the papers on the table. Nodding to John before heading to the door, tugging your jacket into a comfortable fit.

“Love you,” Sherlock calls out, you wanted scoff because you knew he was saying that to spite you.

“Love you too Sherlock,” You responded, looking over your shoulder, “That’s the truth.”

You had your own life, you had things to do, things to achieve, you were trying to get more education because you were getting bored of your somewhat boring life. You didn’t even know what life had for you, only gods know if you were going to die young, but you had hoped that maybe five years, or even twenty years you’d come back as brothers. 

When you were young, children, and you didn’t see that Mycroft and Sherlock had preferred each other than to you.

John seemed to know you had felt, for he is the most human. He knows what human emotions were, and seeing a Holmes feeling so much was a great surprise, despite that, he enjoyed sitting outside a coffee shop with a styrofoam cup of coffee, watching people get on with their lives.

“I don’t want to sound offensive or rude, but you have a lot a faith in your brothers.”

You sigh, shrugging your shoulders, your fingers tapping on the metal table, “I’d like to think that if I were dying on my knees, they would be the one to rescue me.”

“Yeah?” John questioned, straightening, “Well, I know your medical history, when will you tell them that you’ve almost died multiple times because of them? Sometimes I often wonder if you’re-”

“I’m not depressed, John,” You interrupted as you gazed over you tattoo and over to your brother’s best friend, “I know what depression is, well, at least, a vague idea of what it is. But, I know I don’t have it.”

“So, what? You’re going to continue to sacrifice yourself?”

“I’d give my lungs if they were drowning, my eyes if they went blind, my kidney, my liver, my brains, my heart if I have to, John,” You expressed, looking fatigue in the eyes as John watched a lonely Holmes craving the attention and affection of his brothers, “I-”

You had hesitated, John tilted his head, “What is it?”

You looked directly into his eyes, “I’m not suicidal, but if a car came while I was crossing the street I don’t think I’d move and if someone held a gun to my head I wouldn’t exactly beg for my life, in fact, I’d laugh and tell them to go for it.” You stopped before shaking your head, “I’m not suicidal but if I had the chance to die without killing myself I’d probably take it.” 

So, here you were, fully rock bottom with your brothers. Hitting trouble waters as Sherlock held a gun in his hands, your sister, that you had found out about since you were shielded so badly, teased him to shoot you, Mycroft or John.

You watched Sherlock looked at his options, Mycroft being a smartarse he likes to think that Sherlock would pick him over John because Mycroft knows how much John means to Sherlock. But, whilst Mycroft’s snide comment go unheard, Sherlock looks at you.

You stood opposite him, tugging on the sleeves of your jacket. John realised what Sherlock was thinking as he turns to look at you, the conversation days before had replayed in his head as Sherlock lifted the gun to aim at you.

“I wish I could tell you I’m surprised,” You started, flattening your jacket as Mycroft sends Sherlock a worried look because this is not how your life was supposed to go.

“Sherlock,” Mycroft warned, “We had a pact, we-”

“I was always the less favourable brother, you just don’t want to admit it.” 

Sherlock’s hand gripped the handgun tighter as Mycroft winced, this was not how you were supposed to think of them like that, Sherlock was holding back, you could tell.

“Just you know, I wish things were different, I would have given the world to you I’m sorry for expecting too much. There were days I would have made sure I kept you warm and safe regardless of being the youngest. I wished we were different, we’d be carrying each other until our dying days.”

You chuckled softly, a look of relief had washed over you as Sherlock narrowed his eyes at you. Mycroft thinking ways of trying to solve this situation as John looked defeated.

“Aim for the heart, will you? I think my face is too pretty to be damaged,” You chuckled, earning a soft smile from Sherlock, “Go for it.”

Slowly shutting your eyes, you heard a shot in the echo metal room and an unbearable pain ripping into you. And for once, you feel like you didn’t do enough to protect your brothers.

“Sherlock-”

“I’m sorry,” Sherlock spoke, quietly, he was with his brother alone. 

Waiting for the force to be reckoned with they called their parents and had explained the situation about Eurus. But, Sherlock had let down his walls as he leans against the door, looking helpless at his older brother.

“It’s not your fault, Sherlock,” Mycroft uncharacteristically soothes, “Eurus would have killed (Y/n) the moment she had separated us.”

“He was our brother, we were to protect him not the other way round, how blind have we become?” Sherlock asked frustrated, “We made a pact to keep him safe but all we did was push him away as if that was the way forward, we don’t even know what he does for a living or what his favourite colour is.”

“Not like you would care, Sherlock.” Mycroft pointed out the obvious, “What are we going say to our parents?”

“Say that we failed him, this time we should just accept what we’ve done. We pushed Eurus away, and look what happened when we refused to accept what happened-” Sherlock was interrupted as Mrs Holmes and Mr Holmes storms into the office.

“Alive? For all these years?” Mrs Holmes exclaimed.

Mycroft sits behind his desk and his father is sitting on a chair on the other side while Mrs Holmes stands at the other end of the desk staring in shock at her oldest son.  Her younger son is standing at the far end of the room leaning against the walls near the office doors with his arms folded and his head lowered.

“How is that even possible?!”

“What Uncle Rudy began … “ Mycroft hesitates slightly, his eyes lowered “… I thought it best to continue.”

But, the mother of four was not taking any excuses as she seethes down at Mycroft, “I’m not asking how you did it, idiot boy, I’m asking how could you?”

“I was trying to be kind.” He raises his eyes to hers at the end of his sentence.

“Kind?!” She gasped in pain breath, “Kind?” She becomes tearful as she continues, “You told us that our daughter was dead.”

“Better that than tell you what she had become.” She stares at him wide-eyed, “I’m sorry.“

His father stands up and leans his hands on the table, “Whatever she became, whatever she is now, Mycroft, she remains our daughter.”

“And my sister.” Mycroft reasoned, ignoring the feeling of a disappointment that he was unable to protect his family.

“Then you should have done better.” Mrs Holmes snapped.

Sherlock couldn’t take the abuse his brother was getting as he muttered quietly, “He did his best.“

“Then he’s very limited.” 

Mycroft looks towards his brother, unable to meet his parents’ eyes. Sherlock locked eyes with Mycroft, unknown to their parents they held heavy hearts as their minds replayed the memory of you getting shot.

“Where is she?” Mr Holmes questioned, trying to calm his angry wife.

“Back in Sherrinford; secure, this time.“ He looks at his father, “People have died, without a doubt, she will kill again if she has the opportunity.  There’s no possibility she’ll ever be able to leave.”

Mr Holmes has straightened up a little but now leans down again and speaks firmly,  “When can we see her?“

Mycroft looks at him, “There’s no point.”

Mrs Holmes was visibly upset, “How dare you say that?”

Mycroft closed his eyes and speaking more firmly, “She won’t talk.  She won’t communicate with anyone in any way, ‘She has passed beyond our view.’“ Still leaning against Mycroft’s office door, Sherlock gazes down at the floor in front of him. Mycroft looking at his mother, “There are no words that can reach her now.“

She turns to look at her other son, “Sherlock.” Sherlock raises his head as Mrs Holmes shrugs questioningly at Sherlock, “Well? You were always the grown-up.” Mycroft raises his head a little and looks towards his brother. “What do we do now?”

“Where’s your brother?” Mr Holmes questions, the question was open to either son, who looked at each other nervously.

Sherlock knitted his eyebrows together, unable to find the right word before the office doors had opened again. The moment Sherlock and Mycroft realised who it was, their face had paled as if they were seeing a ghost. 

You stood there in all your glory, tired and defeated, and in need to sit down as your left arm was in a sling with padding of bandages around the nape of your neck to your collarbone. Your sweater was rolled up toe elbows, seeing the scars of your spy missions as you stared blankly at your parents.

“(Y/n),”

“Don’t you dare think about taking a step towards me,” You seethes at your mother, who was taken aback, “How dare you to think you can spit abuse at my brother like that-”

“Hunny, you don’t understand.”

“I was thinking a lot during my stay in the hospital, #” You hummed, recollecting your thoughts, “You see, Mycroft hasn’t been best with emotions, but he did what he knew best. To protect his family, to protect me.”

Mycroft stood up behind his desk, gazing at you, his lips tugging as he knew you were just as smart, you were able to deduce him.

“I am the son with human emotions, who functions just like any others, if anything were to happen you wouldn’t be able to cope. Mycroft did his best to shield me away from Eurus, to the point that Sherlock had to shoot me to prevent Eurus from having the satisfaction of killing me.”

“Sherlock?” Mr Holmes questioned as Sherlock flickered his eyes at you but back to his bewildered parents and nodded.

“Eurus had plans to murder our brother, I knew she would be frustrated if something had happened to him before she had the chance.”

“I thought you had better aiming, Sherlock,” You snidely commented.

“I was hoping I missed.” 

You locked eyes with Sherlock before faltering away, shaking the inside feeling of wanting their love and affection. You lick your lips, sighed and looked at your parents.

“At the end of the day, Mycroft did what you should have done years ago, she may be your daughter but’s a danger to society. Accept it.”

“Why are you protecting your brothers?” Your mother asked you.

Your gaze looked over her shoulders as Mycroft watched you, shifting the balance between his feet as you looked at Sherlock, riddle with the guilt of shooting you. You settled your cold stare at your parents.

“I would give the world for them,” You started, shrugging as you wince the little pain in your shoulder, “I once told John Watson that “I’d give my lungs if they were drowning, my eyes if they went blind, my kidney, my liver, my brains, my heart if I have to.” It’s because we’re brothers, we do what brothers do best and that’s to have each other’s back.”

The silence had taken over the room as you stared down your parents. Your mother sighed, realising that you had stood your ground and was stuck because there was no way in hell that you would change your mind.

“We will be speaking more of this, but right now I have to-”

Your mother storms out of the office with your father following, leaving the three Holmes brothers alone in the office. You slowly turned to the door, before Mycroft’s voice had stopped you.

“(Y/n),” 

You looked over your shoulders, pausing but not wanting to talk to them.

“I’m- thank you.” Mycroft lets out a thankful smile.

You looked over to Sherlock, who nodded, “We’re happy to see you alive, I know we’re not the best but perhaps if you let us, we can show that we do care for you.”

You paused, looking down at your feet before facing your brothers, a sceptical look planted on your face. You heaved out a sigh, “I wish I could tell you that I believe you, but, everything has changed, brothers. I was a fool and should have known better.”

“Brother-” Mycroft tried to interrupt but you continued as if you hadn’t heard him speak.

“Perhaps we’re better off,” You suggested, a heavy sigh filling the tense air between you and your brothers

“Can’t we fix it?” Mycroft asked, but you let out a soft chuckle, “Fix us at least, (Y/n)?”

“We can be better,” Sherlock added.

You shrugged, “I don’t know, we just don’t fit like we should.”

“Why is that?” Mycroft asked. 

You gave him one last smile before exiting and final goodbye had escaped them until you had disappeared from their sights. But, your last words before disappearing into the real world had struck them.

“Maybe we’re just too late.”

They had failed you and had to learn to accept that.

[hcpefulmarshmallow]

I’ve been thinking about how so much of the way Komaeda presents himself seems so reactionary, in light of what he’s been through, which can make AUs hard because even a small change can make him feel like a different character altogether, thus rendering said AU pointless and stressful for a stickler like myself. You know, a normal Monday. So I decided it’d be fun to go over a few AUs I’m fond of, and just see if I can reconcile this other Komaeda with the canon dumpster fire we all know and adore. This post is mostly for my own reference, and I may add to or alter it in the future, but hey, if any of my mutuals see something you like, feel free to hit me up.

His Parents Live AU

As we’re aware, Nagito’s luck makes it’s mark very early on in his life. First, the death of his dog, and then the deaths of his parents at the hands of a meteor, which also caused the plane they were on to presumably crash and kill everyone else on board, see here, here and here. 

 From that moment, he has pretty much no one to help him learn or grow or understand his emotions, or pretty much anyone who didn’t treat him like a nuisance in general. And to be honest, I’m not entirely sold that his mother and father did the best job with him that they could, but hey. They were his parents. Still, this is the assumption I will be labouring under for the purposes of this post. 

 Their deaths lead Nagito to grow up as someone who is independent, but never really learned how to other people very well. He only takes direction when he feels like it, and he acts as if he’ll never have to answer to anybody, doing always what he thinks is right, and to hell with the rest of it. 

 So what if we put them back in the picture? How does Ko’s present self change?

 I foresee a person who is less inspired by the idea of hope overcoming despair, and more tired of it, or at least tired of his own belief in it. He’s seen this cycle so much by now, but has been shamed for it at every turn. 

 Although he’s much better at getting along with people (albeit slower to try), he still struggles to make friends. Partly because his luck makes him nervous they’ll somehow get hurt, and partly because he just can’t relate to them, nor them to him. Therefore, he has only his parents’ approval to strive for, which he knows he’ll never achieve. Whether they mean to or not, by now, his parents have distanced themselves from the son who has inadvertently attracted to much trouble - and he feels like it’s all his fault.

 He swears he’s okay with this, knowing that keeping his distance will allow them to better live their lives uninhibited by his curse. However, he still wants their attention and love, and in a misguided and contradictory attempt to get it, will engage in more risky behaviour, but then hide that from them so as to not be an even bigger disappointment. Partly, though, this is also an expression of his self-loathing, and firm belief that, though he’d like to be a stepping stone to hope, it’s not something he can aspire to. 

 He comes across as charming and friendly, but won’t make an effort to befriend anyone, actually preferring to keep to himself. During the rare times he does go on one of his Rants(TM), he’s far more vitriolic. He won’t reference his own luck unless he must, and somehow hates himself more than his canon counterpart. He’s quicker to bitterness and secrecy, refusing to tell his parents a thing even after his terminal diagnosis.  He also keeps his sexuality from them for a very long time, for all these same reasons.

 Otherwise, he’s very much the same person. Still adores his talented Ultimates, still quick to love them, to die for them; still desperate to be one of them. 

Various Talent AUs

These are fun because they can change based off the talent. One sweeping alteration across the board, is that he’s more arrogant, and looks down even further on the untalented. That said, he still doesn’t put himself up as high as the others, and that’s because deep-rooted psychological issues transcend ideology, especially in someone as deeply damaged as our boy. Here are some of my favourite examples:

Detective!Komaeda

I’m of two minds about this one. I like the idea that he doesn’t consider himself that great a detective, much like Shuichi. Therefore, he feels undeserving of his title. Or perhaps he can recognise his skill, but views it supplementary to the others: something he must use for their benefit. Rather than catching criminals, he’d rather solve his classmates’ issues behind their backs so they can focus on being the best they can be, without petty distractions in the way. 

 In this timeline, he would take on a calmer, more Sherlock-esque demeanour. Since he’s an Ultimate Detective, he wouldn’t need to try to get peoples’ attention; they would give it to him, trusting his words as true deductions. But this is not a privilidge he abuses, using it only when he has something of value to say, and keeping quiet the rest of the time. He does feel the pressure of that trust though, leading him to isolate himself in direct rebellion with his desire to make friends.

 His ability to believe in others is tested frequently, as he’s often brought in on the more brutal cases as he seems to be able to stomach them so much better (as even Hajime observes in canon how unperturbed he looks towards the beginning of the game). But these cases take a heavy toll on his psyche, especially the ones that hit close to home.

Mystery Novelist!Komaeda

Nagito doesn’t consider his books especially great literature. He started writing as he kept running all his local libraries and bookstores out of new stories, and since he found mysteries comforting, decided to make his own. He never intended to publish, but one of his manuscripts was sent in without his knowledge by one of his favourite librarians, and his stories became overnight sensations. 

 His greatest criticism is that the people in his stories don’t always act like people: but otherwise, he is praised for how deeply he can make readers feel what his characters feel. What his adoring public don’t know, is that he’s based a lot of that off of things he’s seen and experienced, venting his own depression and post-traumatic stress into his work. As a result, he never re-reads his own writing once it’s completed. He is also critically acclaimed for the complexity and intelligence behind the mysteries he creates, fooling even some of the greatest minds who read his work up until the very last page. And even then, they’re left with a sense that the answer could’ve never been anything else.

 It’s this reputation that gets him invited to Hope’s Peak, although since Nagito doesn’t think his books are that great, and because this ‘talent’ comes from a deep pain he feels hopeless to resolve, he thinks of his talent illegitimate. He doesn’t bring it up unless made to, and refuses to be interviewed. 

No Tragedy AU

Ah, the dream. The kids get to go to school, enjoy their school lives, graduate and live happily ever after. What would become of our boy in the big, bad adult world? Actually, this is a favourite of mine, but do permit me a little creative licencing here. For the sake of a better answer than “he ded”, we’re going to assume Nagito either never gets ill, is cured of his illness, or his condition is indefinitely stable. 

 I think that, after graduation from Hope’s Peak, Nagito will never wander far from his beloved school. The position of talent scout will be offered to him due to his innate ability to sense hope and despair and talent, and he will adore his job. He even comes up with innovative ways for the school to improve, citing his own experience as a student, and the mistakes he saw made. 

 If and when he’s ready to settle down with someone and start a family, he will take paternity leave to be with his child, but will always return to the school. After his first/only, however, he does not come back as a scout, but rather, takes a teaching post, allowing him to, instead of just finding future Ultimates, help shape them into the best that they can be. (And also, because the hours are more structured and require less overtime, so he can be with his family more.)

 For Nagito, there is no higher cause a lowly nothing like him can dedicate himself to, than to see that hope is nurtured through the generations. He’s matured a lot by now, but he’s still a pretty...bizarre teacher, to put it nicely, often going off on lesson-long tangents about how “each of your talents is uniquely beautiful, and you should treasure them and use them to bring about hope!” Typical Nagito stuff. But he does truly care about his students, and is fair and treats them well. He works hard to earn each and every one’s respect over the years. Most of his former students will write to him at some point, citing him as one of the reasons they learned to believe in themselves and in their skills. It’s not a job he ever wants to retire from.