#not just today

[ishipmutualrespect]

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[beelzzzebub]

big excited vent below! good news, i think, that i have been dwelling on and need to get out somewhere haha

tl;dr - i'm co music director in training for my acappella group now :)

this morning i officially signed up to run for co- music director of my acappella group, since our current md's are graduating. anyway this is like basically my dream thing to do, i love directing, and i already have so many ideas for our music, but also, it kind of just hit me that this is now actually something that has been voiced out loud and is. . actually going to happen, and that's veryy scary. like it's not 100% ofc but it's just me and one other guy, and we need two md's, so like. it's basically set. and i'm soo excited but also like really scared, bc i have experience directing in high school, and let me tell you, that shit sucked. no one took me seriously, and even the few days where i directed and taught were so draining. and the group i'm with now is definitely kinder, but i'm also a freshman, and even i feel like there's something at the very least annoying about me trying to put myself into a place of authority, if that makes sense. it was bad enough in high school when i was a senior leading other students. now i'm going to be a freshman, and eventually a sophomore when i really start, leading a group with juniors and seniors, not just other students (well yes students) but also real adults. like there are 21 and 22 year olds in this group like college students but also literal. literal adults. ik technically i'm an adult. but like, hardly lmao. and i do not feel like it's my place to be telling these older people what to do. even though i really want this position, and basically nobody else is going for it. i don't knowwww ahsdfhhh. i did get a vote of confidence that i think (?) was genuine from the current md's, so that's good. i just really really really hope this goes well. i'm excited! and hopefully people will be kinder than they were in high school lol. and! and! if they don't want me as an md, to just vote to have the one instead of two! bc really i'd rather that than to get voted in by default you know. ach. i'm so scared for this. but i love to sing. and i love to direct. genuinely, one of my favorite things, just to listen to an ensemble, and to have ideas and to grow and to shape the sound. there is a litany of holy shit oh my god oh no fuck oh my god just. running. in my head. since at least dinner. several hours. and anyway. this is going to be.... well it's going to be whatever it is. shit. jeez. anyway i'm already thinking about next year lmao, god if i make it to then, i'm going to be helping run auditions. grr. anyway i would apologize for a lengthy paragraph but you know this is my blog and no one's obliged to follow me or to read what i post so. shrug. i feel strange.

[paddington-two]

fuck fireworks for real tho

[happyheidi]

𝖠𝗋𝗍 𝖻𝗒 𝖠𝗇𝗇𝖺-𝖫𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖺 𝖲𝗎𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖺𝗇 | 𝖨𝖦: 𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖺𝗅𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖺_𝖺𝗋𝗍

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

[stuckinapril]

I could get over anything as long as I have something new to be obsessed with

[atalana]

the curse of adhd:

i will remember with absolute clarity, when the thought strikes me that i have a text to send someone, that this is the fourth time in three days i've attempted to send this specific text

i will forget, in the time it takes me to pick up my phone, that i picked it up intending to send a text

[adventures-in-poor-planning]

Today I saw a pic of a baby cowbird next 2 its nest "parent" and it was so much bigger!!!!! Which is the sort of thing that gets normal people upset about the injustice of nest parasitism but makes *me* worry if baby cowbirds get bird dysmorphia

[ibtisams]

I have seen less and less posts about Palestine each day, and I want to remind people that there is still very much a genocide going on and Palestine has continued to be attacked.

The number of casualties in Gaza has increased to 8,525 with 21,000+ injured

Hospitals in Gaza will run out of power today

Israel has once again cut Gaza’s communications

Israel has striked another refugee camp, killing 50+ and it was reported that children were carrying other injured children to get to safety

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

[vjola]

it’s a new week!!! let’s do this!!!!! (cries uncontrollably)

[werewolf-transgenderism]

truly just learn the phrase "I did not like this" instead of trying to give some moral or ethical reasoning behind why it's actually evil and morally wrong and problematic. you are allowed to just not like things because they're not good in your personal opinion, they don't have to be problematic you can just not like them

[satanicdollx]

they should invent friends that do not live so fucking far

[sga-owns-my-soul]

reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head

[needycatboy]

missionary where your hands are cuffed above you, and your lover is leaning over you with a possessive hand holding your jaw, their thrusts slow. every time he pulls out he watches your face curiously, and every time he pushes back in he smiles as it pulls a cry out of you. they've got a feral look in their eye as they ask you, "yeah? right there, baby? that feel good kitten?" and you just have to gasp and whimper and take it and

[alex51324]

So, the NDA signed by producers of The Apprentice just expired, and one of them has published a tell-all article. Most of the article is about how they used standard reality-TV tricks to portray Trump as being wealthy and intelligent, when in reality he was, and is, a deeply indebted buffoon.

The money shot, however, comes when Trump and the producers are preparing for climax of the final episode, when the winner will be decided.

Per the FCC's rules for game shows, producers could not be involved in deciding who would be fired each week, or who would ultimately win: it had to be Trump's decision alone, like contestants and viewers were told it was. The producers could, and did, give him a presentation about the strengths and weaknesses of the contestants each time he had to make a decision. These were recorded, in case questions ever arose about whether the producers had crossed the line.

So, for the final episode, there were two contestants remaining. Both were men, one white, the other Black. They'd both done well in the final challenge of the competition. As the producers were summarizing the points for an against each candidate, this happened:

“Yeah,” he says to no one in particular, “but, I mean, would America buy a n— winning?” Kepcher’s pale skin goes bright red. I turn my gaze toward Trump. He continues to wince. He is serious, and he is adamant about not hiring Jackson.

In the finished program, Trump chose the white contestant as the winner.

(Four years later, Trump would propagate the baseless conspiracy theory that Barack Obama was not a native-born US citizen and therefore had not legitimately won the presidency.)

The article also describes how women working on the production faced discrimination based on whether or not Trump wanted to look at them while they did their jobs:

While leering at a female camera assistant or assessing the physical attributes of a female contestant for whoever is listening, he orders a female camera operator off an elevator on which she is about to film him. “She’s too heavy,” I hear him say. Another female camera operator, who happens to have blond hair and blue eyes, draws from Trump comparisons to his own Ivanka Trump. “There’s a beautiful woman behind that camera,” he says toward a line of 10 different operators set up in the foyer of Trump Tower one day. “That’s all I want to look at.”

And there's a third anecdote where he pressures a woman producer to break the FCC rules, while being casually misogynistic toward a contestant:

Trump corners a female producer and asks her whom he should fire. She demurs, saying something about how one of the contestants blamed another for their team losing. Trump then raises his hands, cupping them to his chest: “You mean the one with the …?” He doesn’t know the contestant’s name. Trump eventually fires her.

This information is pretty unlikely to persuade anyone who wasn't already persuaded by any of the other things Trump has done and said, which would for anyone else be a career-defining scandal. But it is a useful reminder of who we're dealing with.

(Link is to Slate, an x-number-of-free-articles-a-month site, but the incognito window trick works.)