#not knowing that molly is trapped in a time loop

[xfindingtrouble]

❝  please don’t go—  i need.  i need someone—  i need you.  ❞ / hey. Modern AU

" I'm here, Molly, " Percy steadies his tone through the unexpected beginning to his day. he had woken to Molly's frantic eruption giving in to the immediate concern that sweeps over Percy. He holds it between his teeth, though it weighs at the corners of his mouth. it causes his face to settle into an expression that balanced on the line between concerned & surprised.

Percy had intended to wake up before Mollymauk even had the chance to stir & greet them with a superb birthday breakfast. he had considered the idea of making it himself, but he knew better than to try & burn the start of their day.

he was hoping to stop by the cafe around the corner & bring them everything that looked like, smelled like, or tasted like a cinnamon roll. He thought it might be a suitable start to the list of birthday offerings he intended to present. Nice a thought as it had been, he brushes it aside for the time being.

there were now more pressing matters on the metaphorical menu. like how quickly Molly's breath passes through their lungs, the way they beg for company that was already promised. He leads towards them, propping himself up on his elbow & using his free hand to cup their cheek. it's a firm gesture, one that he uses to guide their gaze to his. he hopes it will be grounding, that it may remind Molly of where he is, " I'm not going anywhere, dear. You're safe. Tell me --- what's going on? "

[ilikereadingactually]

Rakesfall

Rakesfall by Vajra Chandrasekera

i'm honestly not sure where to begin with this book, except that i really liked it, and also i had a glitch in the NetGalley app halfway through and thought it had disappeared, so i read two other books in between. the many layers of this story would have fallen together a little easier for me if i had read the whole thing consecutively, so i'm looking forward to an enlightening reread at some point! but i also think, as Molly Templeton pointed out in this great column, that i can't possibly understand everything happening in this book, and i'm not meant to. i don't have the necessary cultural context about Sri Lanka, but i can ride along and thoroughly enjoy myself, and i can learn!

i really dig a lot of what i do understand that's going on in this book though; the layered, looping structure is really exciting, and the way Chandrasekera weaves speculative elements into so many different settings—iterations of the past and the future and the even farther future—is unique each time, with some connecting elements that carry you through from one story to the next. and there's so much incredibly striking imagery, visuals that are going to stay with me for a long time. my reading experience of this book was weirdly drawn out through my own ineptitude with the app, but i would keep reading about Annelid and Leveret through so many more of their strange lifetimes.

the deets

how i read it: as i said, i had a weird experience of this one in the NetGalley app, but as always i'm delighted to have the access.

try this if you: love to float on a book like floating on the ocean and maybe go down rabbit holes afterward, dig reincarnation stories, or are into things that span huge swaths of time and wander all over the speculative genres!

some bits i really liked: i have so many more screenshots than i could possibly include here but this is a selection of things that made me gasp

We know another year has passed when the new year birds hoot in the background. Leveret and Annelid will grow older, too. This is that kind of show. There are only two kinds of show: the kind where people grow older and the kind where they don't. We, the fandom, love the first kind best. We love this show so much.

___

I am reborn, but not in a womb; I pass into this life midstride, walking on the street. I stumble, trip over myself, nearly faceplant. I am in media res, trying to swallow what for a moment seemed to choke in my throat. Is that true, or had I forgotten myself until this moment?

___

I voted for him myself, in the parliamentary election earlier this month where sixty people died. I voted for peace, even though peace seems like the kind of science fiction that posits a future utopia, sleek and bald and rational, without satisfactory explanation of how we get to there from here, this convoluted, bloody, tainted here, except by appealing to our better natures at critical moments, a long arc bending toward justice. It seems like science fiction, wrapped in a pulp cover.

___

Be anything other than a man, I tell my younger self now through the akashic record; be a mother of witches. My parents didn't want the devil in me out. She was already almost out; that was the problem. No, they wanted her sealed, stitched in tight. My unhealing wound.

___

I love, the Rake whispers like thunder, rattling her bones. I forgive. Embi stares at them. "You...forgive. I've left you trapped in a foreign poetic regime for ten thousand years. It should have been otherwise." There is no other wisdom, the Rake says. "You don't have to protect me," Embi says. "If protecting the world means that I need to be sacrificed, I'm ready. It took me a while to get ready, but I'm ready." You are the world, the Rake says. There is no difference.

___

The difference is that stories have endings, and histories understand that nothing ever ends. The difference is that stories are made and histories are told.

___

You and I are a we right here and now, whether we like it or not.

pub date: June 18, 2024! Go read it!

[writingwife-83]

Sherlolly Appreciation Week, Day 2: Librarian AU/Professor AU

Thanks for the feedback, peeps! Hope you guys enjoy the ficlet. And Idk why this is a 1940s setting. It just is I guess lol. ❤️ 📚

Falling for You (👈 ao3)

Sherlock flipped a page, then another, then another. He shoved that book aside, discarding it among many others in a growing pile, then picked up another one nearby. Taking a pencil from behind his ear, he scribbled a note or two on his pad of paper, humming quietly to himself. He was admittedly rather engrossed, and didn’t even hear the footsteps approaching. Not until she made her presence more than clear.

“Not again!”

Head tilting up from where he sat on the floor, Sherlock took in the sight of the university’s librarian, Miss Molly Hooper, and she was in rare form. Particularly because she was towering over him.

“Ah, Miss Hooper, good after-“

“Professor Holmes, I do hope you’re going to pick up that mess properly this time!” Her little arms crossed sternly over her middle.

Sherlock glanced at the pile of books strewn about all around him on the floor. “I’ve always picked up the books.”

Molly tilted her head. “Yes, but with no care whatsoever to the Dewey decimal system. Every time you come in here I end up with students unable to find what they’re looking for. And I find that you leave an absolute mess in whatever area you’ve been in. I’ve even found books turned backwards on the shelf!”

Sherlock stood with a little grunt, straightening his suit jacket. “Well, I suppose sometimes I am in a bit of a rush. Lesson planning, and all that. Chemistry class won’t teach itself, you know.” Pausing, he gave her a once over. “Why, Miss Hooper, what a smart looking hairstyle that is. You’ve had it trimmed a bit, haven’t you? And freshly curled?” He threw in a little wink.

Molly’s cheeks flushed pink, but she kept her lips trained in a tight line and tilted her chin up sternly. “I have, though it’s certainly no concern of yours. Now, if you’re finished, I’d like to get these put away.”

When he made no protest, Molly began picking some of the books up and checking the bindings to set them in their places on the shelf. But when she tried to move around the pile on the floor though, she stepped on the edge of one of the books and her heel slipped out from under her.

The second she lost her balance, Sherlock’s arm instinctively looped around her waist, holding her steady while bracing them with his other hand against the bookshelf.

Molly stared back at him, wide eyed and panting, and it occurred to him that they were practically nose to nose.

“Th-thank you,” she stammered.

“For creating a death trap on the floor?”

She sputtered out a laugh, her eyes suddenly shimmering. “For catching me.”

“My pleasure.”

And it really was.

Sherlock realized that his grip around her waist had not loosened. In fact, with each passing second he was only becoming increasingly aware of how it felt to hold her so close. The way she fit so naturally against him…

“I think I’m alright now.”

Sherlock cleared his throat, remembering himself and releasing his hold while stepping back. “I’ll pick these up. Don’t trouble yourself.”

“If you insist.” Molly straightened her cardigan and smoothed some hair behind her ear. “But I’d better find them all in order.”

Sherlock gave her an unabashedly flirtatious smile. “If they’re not… you know where to find me.”

Molly held his gaze for a moment before turning and finally walking away oh so slowly, and Sherlock could have sworn that every click of her heels and sway of her hips was by very calculated design. He certainly couldn’t take his eyes off her until she rounded the corner and went back to her desk.

It took him no time at all to decide that a few of those books would simply have to be placed out of order after all.

[abookishidentity]

Books read in July 2024

-Epithet Erased: Prison of Plastic by Brendan Blaber started July 1, 2024 and finished July 3, 2024 - 5/5 stars. I liked this book a lot. This was a story between two sisters and how the death of their mother affected them both. Molly’s sister has such an interesting epithet and it clashes against Molly’s. The characters we are introduced to are so interesting and I love that Giovanni came back. He truly had Molly’s interests at heart. He was incredibly supportive of both sisters which was sweet. The ending was rather cute. Molly was finally with people who truly cared about her. I hope we get more from the Epithet Erased universe. Brendan Blaber writes his characters very well. When I was reading this book I was reminded of a video he put out (JelloApocalypse is the youtube name) called “So, You’re Stuck in a Time Loop!” Due to the fact that nearly each time Molly met her sister in her dream world she would force Molly and her friends out and they would have to go back to the beginning to find their friends. It was such good shit. 

-Star Trek: Deep Space Nine- The Dog of War by Mike Chen started and finished July 3, 2024- 4/5 stars. When I ordered this book I really should have realized it was a graphic novel. Graphic novels are very fast reads. It was pretty good. The illustrations were quite astounding. There were quite a lot of them with the characters and other dogs. It was cute. The story was solid. I got it because I wanted to read more of Mike Chen's stuff. His work is great.

-Thicker than Water by Mike Carey started July 3, 2024 and finished July 8, 2024 - 5/5 stars. Man I love the Felix Castor series. Didn’t care for the beginning too much but I guess the succubus character has to be reintroduced somehow. Other than that this book was quite amazing. Fix’s brother had a role in this book which means we got some family drama and shit. It’s interesting to me how “F Castor” was painted in blood on a car window and the police think its the main character who is involved. I mean the person who painted it could have been saying “Fuck Castor” right? Anyway there was a background story detailing something that happened in Felix’s childhood and I know immediately that Anita Yeats was the one married to the guy who got ripped to shreds and wrote “F Castor” on the car window. I like how Felix is good with children. I liked this book a lot. I need to buy the next book in the series at some point. 

-Royal Street by Suzanne Johnson started July 8, 2024 and finished July 11, 2024- 3/5 stars. I try to read urban fantasy written by women and the main characters are women. They never hit the same as ones written by men and are about men. The setting of this book was quite interesting. New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina hit. It broke or at least damaged the border between the real world and the supernatural world. The main character’s mentor goes missing and she is on the hunt for him. It was interesting to find out that the mentor was actually her dad this entire time. This is the third or fourth urban fantasy book I have read in which the mentor is killed but the fact that it’s her dad is kind of heartbreaking. Don’t think a mentor/dad would assign their protege/daughter a mission to flirt with a magic dead pirate to trap him and bring him back to the other world.  Perhaps that will harden her in the next book. She is a wizard and gets assigned essentially a wizard cop as a partner. He is strangely protective over her. It’s a little obsessive for my tastes. He also can shapeshift into a golden retriever which he uses to essentially sleep in her house. It’s weird. His cousin appears as well. It’s a weird love triangle until he is taken by the magical creatures for some reason? I don’t know. I think I should read the second book. 

-A Big Ship at the Edge of the Universe by Alex White started July 12, 2024 and finished July 16, 2024- 4/5 stars. I’m glad I kept reading past the first chapter. I was going to be pretty bored if the race car driving was going to be present in the book a lot. This book was quite interesting. Science fiction universe with space travel and all that and yet people could do magic. Not everyone has the same magic and one of the main characters can’t do magic at all. The other main character can essentially read machines with her magic. It’s fascinating. There’s also a sapphic relationship in this book which is interesting. I like how the spaceship crew essentially kidnaps the magicless character and the other character is essentially brought along for the ride. She kind of has to as she is framed for murder. They are on the hunt for a missing ship so it’s a treasure hunt. Good book overall. The library doesn’t have the sequel so oh well. 

-The City of Lost Fortunes by Bryan Camp started July 16, 2024 and finished July 20, 2023- 4/5 stars. This book also takes place in New Orleans post Katrina. It’s constantly being referenced as “The Storm” which is weird and repetitive. The main character is the son of a god but it’s never revealed who it is. All sorts of gods are talked about in this book. It seems like every god from every culture exists in this book which is kind of cool but it also makes the book feel unfocused at times. The main character can find things and has powers of his own which he loses for a bit when he is essentially forced into a card game with various gods and beings who are powerful. This book has various parts which is good. In some ways this book didn’t feel like the first book of a trilogy but rather the last book as so much shit happened in it. The book became infinitely more interesting when the main character died and was resurrected in a woman’s body. She is then referred to as she. It’s quite interesting. It was essentially a murder mystery until this happened. I think the other two books are at the library so I should check them out at some point. 

-The Stars Beyond edited by Charlotte Wells Llewelyn started July 20, 2024 and finished July 23, 2024- 3/5 stars. Anthology book with 6 stories about contact. I read that as first contact. I liked the first two stories a lot. The last story was pretty good too. There isn’t much to say. I like the Twilight Imperium universe. It’s quite interesting how a board game series was written into a book series. 

-Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky started July 23, 2024 and finished July 27, 2024- 5/5 stars. This book has some great world and character building. I don’t usually go for 600 page books but this was given to me to read and so I didn’t feel guilty for taking quite some time to read it. The chapters about the sentient spiders were quite interesting to read. I feel bad for the human main character, being woken up from sleep every so often to some utter bullshit. For the longest time this was a 4/5 stars for me but the ending really sold me. I like that instead of complete genocide of the human race and or the spiders, the spiders essentially infected the humans with a chemical and they all work together now. Can’t wait to read more of that in the sequel. 

-Emily Wilde’s Encyclopedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett started July 28, 2024 and finished July 31, 2024. - 4/5 stars. I needed something different after reading a longer science fiction book. I heard this book was good and I do want to read more about the fae. I like how research focused the main character is. She’s awesome. She doesn’t really read people all that well which is entertaining to read. Bit relatable. It’s quite interesting how her Cambridge coworker, Wendell Bambleby is a member of the fae and seems to care for her a lot. Based on his attitude towards everything you wouldn’t think so. There is moment in which he is saving her from fae and he chops off their heads, thinks its satisfying to do so and then rewinds time to do it again. It reminds me of something. I think something similar happened in a Stephen Blackmoore book? I’m still unsure but it’s such an intriguing moment. Didn’t think Bambleby would be capable of doing something so gruesome and powerful. Overall good book. I think I shall check out the sequel at some point. 

[overnighttosunflowers]

So here’s a theory that’s neither “it will all stick just like that” and “it was a dream”—time loops. (The actual theory here is all @xanthera; I’m just pulling together some supporting evidence and some follow-up thoughts.)

First of all, while Matt’s most recent tweets about high stakes and player choices do clearly say that this event will have lasting repercussions, he did also like this tweet, which I think implies that there’s more going on than just what we saw on Thursday. (So, to me, does his whole bearing during the fight, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Secondly, we know that this show loves to see its threads through, and particularly that this is a campaign MADE of threads from the previous ones. Right now, dunamancy and Aeor are the biggest two c2 threads that are clearly being pulled, to an as-yet-unclear end. So we have:

The T-dock Caleb destroyed, which can’t be the only one that existed… and also, a PC who is walking evidence that stuff from Aeor is now making it out into the rest of Exandria

The dunamancy vials that the Assembly forced Yeza to invent… which are now being traded by the Paragon’s Call, which Otohan leads

A backpack worn by Otohan, which Matt has called attention to multiple times, which seems to be tied to her abilities and which has two cavities in the middle… what for? Dunamancy juice?

Evidence that Otohan was the one who attacked Zephrah, an attack which “came from out of nowhere and disappeared almost before it started”

A PC who lived 100 years inside 6 years due to being trapped in a time loop in the feywild, making it clear that the most powerful fey can manipulate time

Knowledge that Otohan has been spotted in the feywild collaborating with Unseelie fey

A Cerberus Assembly leader, who is the reason that the dunamancy vials exist, also in said feywild collaboration

Taken all together, feels like pretty clear evidence that dunamis and the feywild are entangled and will be playing a major role in this campaign, no?

So then @xanthera pointed out: what if Otohan has an ability to use chronurgy to reverse the last few minutes while allowing everyone to keep their memories of what happened? It would traumatize everyone and make very clear what can happen if they don’t do what she wants.

This can be consistent with “lasting repercussions,” per Matt’s tweet. It’s compatible with characters staying dead if that’s what their players really want.

BUT, for everyone else—isn’t that still a real consequence, to live your death in reverse and come back? To realize the extreme extent to which this group you’re with is truly a powder keg, the extent to which you can’t protect others or yourself when push comes to shove, the extent to which you’re a danger to your loved ones, to which your loved ones are a danger to you? Wouldn’t it be campaign-defining?

Wouldn’t you seriously change tactics in the way the M9 did after Molly died, when—as Matt noted in interviews not long after, when he also spoke about this being a game with real consequences—they started becoming much more careful researchers in forming their plans? Wouldn’t you have to find new ways of operating as a party to have a shot at ultimately defeating this? Wouldn’t it shake up the status quo in ways that reverberate, and reverberate, and reverberate?

And, on the “better than it was before” side of consequences, wouldn’t it kickstart some major character arc shifts? To realize all the things you could’ve died left unsaid? Couldn’t it lead you eventually to (checks Matt’s tweets) “the brightest epiphanies” and “joy and catharsis”? Wouldn’t you go confess your love to your sending stone buddy wouldn’t you kiss your Girl Best Friend

Anyway, I mean, who knows. Maybe it’s all absolutely real and Liam and Ashley want their characters to stay dead and Otohan will walk away from a pile of corpses and we’ll have 2-4 new characters at the table and Imogen will be a DM-controlled villain. Or it’s all real and Otohan will walk away from a group frantically cascading heals and revivifies and hoping to reach everyone in time and Imogen will be battling her way through a corruption arc.

OR, maybe, they’re all just left gasping and alive and burning with the memory of everything that just happened and unhappened, and could happen again. And they’re changed by it.

[timetraveltodystopia]

hi! interested in a skz current energies reading, especially with the new cb and getting covid :(

SKZ current energies - June Shufflemancy reading

♡ Reading done on 05/06/22 and 06/06/22

Disclaimer: I’m a beginner with tarot and my readings could be correct and could be not. I am still learning so please take everything with a grain of salt. These readings are for fun and for entertainment purposes only <3

This is all alleged. I don’t want to hurt any idol or send them hate.

Bang Chan

Pynk (feat Grymes) King Topher Remix - Janelle Monáe

So, here we are in the car Leavin' traces of us down the boulevard I wanna fall through the stars Getting lost in the dark is my favorite part Let's count the ways we could make this last forever Sunny, money, keep it funky Touch your top and let it down

Bang Chan fell in love and thinks all the time about this person, he is infatuated with them. Bang Chan thinks of random scenarios with them and 18+ fantasies, all he wants is a good relationship with them.

Lee Know

Rainy Day Loop - SALES

Oh, what a rush Watching everything around me Come undone

Lee Know feels lonely lately, no one understands hows his feeling. He wants a life fulfilled in every scope of his life, romantically and platonically, but he feels empty and he is the only one how to fix it. He is the biggest enemy to himself, he is trapped in his mind and he can't get out.

Changbin

Way Down We Go - KALEO

Oh, 'cause they will run you down, down 'til the dark Yes, and they will run you down, down 'til you fall And they will run you down, down 'til you go Yeah, 'til you can't crawl no more

Changbin realized he is too good to the people who are surrounded with, and he didn't receive the same amount of love and companionship as he did. He wonders if this kind of behavior should keep going and if these normal people take advantage of him. His self-esteem is getting worse with this kind of treatment.

Hyunjin

SAD GIRL LUV MONEY Remix - Amaraae, Kali Uchis, Molly

Get the fuck outta my way I'm gonna get paid, yeah I wanna get paid, yeah Just give me my mula-la-la Get the fuck outta my way I'm gonna get paid, yeah I'm gonna get paid, yeah Just give me my mula-la-la

Hyunjin is in a good mood but he is behaving a bit childish and like an asshole. After all the hard work he put he wants his paycheck like a bad bitch the problem is his arrogance, he feels superior for being an idol when the rest of the industry has the same right to receive it. But overall his vibes are that he will conquer the world.

Han Jisung

halfpastnine - Oscar Anton

It's half past nine and my light go out But there is no one else You may have tried but the time goes by And I still need a friend I'll carry on tonight Cause it is all about Just staying on the right side You're playing with my mind But I won't let it drown Cause I don't want to stop now No I don't want to stop now

Jisung is in a toxic relationship. His partner lies to him about where they go and that broke his heart. It's always mind games to play the head of Jisung, he knows is toxic but he doesn't want to let the connection go away. He prefers to bottle up his emotions and try to work out the relationship, something that is killing him inside out.

Felix

Run - Joji

I know you're not in love like you used to be Guess I'm not the one, like you used to think So you'll just run I know that I'm stuck in this misery Guess I'm not enough, like you used to think So I'll just run

Felix has his heart broken, he did not meet the expectations of his partner and he is devastated. He fell in love because of the grace, the personality, and the beauty of his SO but they never fell in love to the same degree as Felix. So he is grieving and trying to accept the rejection.

Seungmin

What's Wrong - PVRIS

I know it's so wrong, but I'm so far gone Don't need you to tell me I'm so cynical (Don't need you to tell me) Quit being so over-skeptical Don't need a metaphor for you to know I'm miserable

Seungmin feels lonely in a depressive state, he can't recognize himself from years prior. He is stuck in a loop of sorrow and bitterness. One thing he has for sure is that he never sold part of himself or being a kissass, he never sold his soul.

I.N.

Free my People (Ted Jasper Remix) - Greentea Peng

To be famous for the wrong things Gossipin' and frontin' is a long ting All that other nonsense is just fussin' And it's like livin' in a contest Can you free us from this concept? Free us from the chains that you all invent? Government indulgin' in some incest Ignorin' all my people in our protests

I.N. has enough of being an idol. He doesn't like how the industry works, how they have to do aegyo, ships, fanservice, and more stuff. He wants to work like the west industries, in a more relaxed and open-minded environment where are not forced to be something they are not.

This changes over time. Everyone has free will and vibrations change. Hope you like this reading <3

© rights reserved to timetraveldystopia

[spritewrites]

day 14: horns

Caduceus really isn’t half bad. Not exactly up for the same kinds of fun as most of the others, but he’s agreeable enough to tag along. And he has the funniest reactions to things—he tried to tip for a meal with a platinum the other day, and simply couldn’t understand why the others were laughing so hard.

And he’s nice, which is a fun change of pace.

He always has to sleep in the middle of the dome, being the biggest and all, and he’s a fucking cuddle magnet—no matter where Jester starts the evening, she always ends up curled up on top of his stomach. And Veth’s incorrigible; she manages to tuck herself into the smallest, coziest places, and then teases the others for being cold.

Molly’s still readjusting, honestly. He’s fallen pretty easily back into the old circus routine with Yasha, which she seems like she appreciates. The dome makes it a bit different, but it’s enough like a tent that the tangle-your-limbs-together-til-you-can’t-tell-whose-leg-is-whose method still works for nights when the wind comes in from the north and they’ve fought something particularly humanoid.

But Caduceus intrigues him. Molly’s not above saying he’s kind of… not attractive, exactly, but magnetic. The kind of guy you want to be around all the time; the kind you want to make sure is watching the first time you try a new high-level spell. Maybe the kind you’d like to casually sidle up to after a hard day on the road. Definitely the kind who’d do that affectionate little huff and loop an unfairly-long arm around your shoulders.

So one night, Molly tries it.

Caleb puts up the dome, they all settle in, Yasha curls up next to Beau, and Molly—well, Molly tucks himself in alongside Caduceus. He’s a little nervous, at first, and he hopes that Caduceus can’t read tiefling tail body language, because he’s sure the way his tail wraps around his ankle is a dead giveaway.

But the firbolg doesn’t seem put off at all. Instead, Molly’s swept into the pile with the rest, maneuvering his horns around and eventually falling into a spot where his cheek can press comfortably into a skinny ribcage. It’s delightfully cozy, and Molly’s tiefling instincts are painfully aware of potentially ticklish sides just inches from his fingers—but it’s late, and they’re all tired, and he’s not even certain that Caduceus would respond a move like that, much less appreciate it. It can be hard to tell, sometimes; he takes a lot of their nonsense in stride. But it’s probably not that kind of night, even if the guy is ticklish.

A few curls fall across his nose, and he scrunches it uncomfortably, freeing the arm trapped against Caduceus’ stomach to push at his unruly hair. Caduceus makes some kind of rumbling noise deep in his chest—Molly’s definitely not familiar enough with firbolgs to know what that noise is—and shifts his weight, adjusting his limbs under the blue Jester-shaped blob on top of him.

For a moment, Molly is worried that he disturbed him—but then there’s a hand, large and soft and fuzzy, threading its way between his curls to scratch gently at his scalp.

Oh. Okay.

Molly isn’t— he’s gotten his fair share of affection, and he craves it like air, so this sort of thing is not entirely unusual. Caduceus just… he’s a bit of a wild card, still, and Molly really wasn’t sure where he landed on stuff like this, but…

Oh. Alright. Bit hard to think when he gets behind his ears like that.

Okay, okay, no thinking. Just cuddles. Taking each thing as it comes, fair enough. Molly can do that. Molly’s a pro at that.

He presses his nose into Caduceus’ shirt, breathing out a sigh of contentment. Caduceus has found that spot on the top of his scalp that’s got a direct line to his spine and makes him melt like butter, and suddenly the thought of moving his limbs at all sounds dreadfully exhausting. Best to just lay here, all night. Snuggled up. No thoughts. Head empty. Just scalp scritches.

But Caduceus’ fingers keep moving. They rub over his ears, back into his hairline, following the wave pattern of his hair like a ship on the sea, a victim of the current. Suddenly, the touch is gone from his scalp—only to reappear at the tip of his right horn, and oh, isn’t that wonderful. Not everybody thinks to touch tiefling horns. Maybe Jester’s taught him a thing or two.

It seems to be a bit difficult to navigate around his jewelry, but eventually the fingers on his horn settle into a nice firm massage that works its way back down toward his head.

This is nice. This is fast approaching perfect. Caduceus is Molly’s new favorite member of the Nein. Caduceus is the greatest in Wildemount. Caduceus is the best person to ever walk this plane of existence.

Caduceus is—

Whatever other thoughts his swiftly decaying brain might have hoped to spark suddenly vanish as the tips of furry fingers stir the hair between his horns, and Molly snorts.

The hand goes still.

Okay. Okay. Fuck. Okay.

Molly’s run this scenario through in his head more times than he could ever hope to count—the initial moment of discovery, then the realization, then (hopefully) the follow through. He’d pictured it with Caduceus; during a healing, perhaps, those can get rather touchy. Or he’d put his feet up in the traveling cart, right near where Caduceus was driving. Or in a tavern, or a Zone of Truth, or… or maybe one of the others would get their fingers in his ribs while Caduceus was in the room, probably Jester or Beau, and he’d narrow his eyes and scrunch up his nose and it would all slowly dawn on him—he’s got siblings, right? Didn’t he say that? He must be familiar with this kind of thing.

This isn’t anything like that. Molly’s lips are squeezed tightly together, Veth’s snoring in the crook of his knee, he can hear crickets and the wind in the trees, and this is not… it’s not really the best time for somebody to find out you’re ticklish, alright? He’s not trying to pass up an opportunity, by any means, but even he knows that.

Caduceus doesn’t know that.

Before he can even open his mouth to whisper some apology or other, the scritching has resumed, along with the rumble in the firbolg’s chest that he can feel more than hear. Caduceus has these short, blunt nails, probably excellent for gardening, and also unfortunately exactly right for finding that spot where his horns meet his scalp and tickling.

And it’s not like Molly didn’t know he was ticklish there (he’s rather an expert in this sort of thing, and he’s discovered over the years that he’s pretty much ticklish everywhere), but it’s midnight, and it’s Caduceus, and it’s all so surprising that he almost isn’t able to stop himself from bursting into giggles.

Almost.

His shoulders are shaking, his stomach muscles are quivering with the force of it, but he manages to grit his teeth and huff breaths of laughter as silently as he can into the night air. Caduceus’ touch is gently relentless, wriggling into the space between his horns, skating around the skin where scalp turns to bone, exactly where it makes Molly want to crawl out of his body. It’s—Molly’s still not even sure he’s doing it on purpose, is the thing; Caduceus isn’t the brightest, and it’s quite late at night—but it seems purposeful, the way the fingertips curl into his hair like they’re seeking the most sensitive spots.

Molly hiccups.

Oh. That’s new.

Caduceus doesn’t seem to mind, though, lingering on the spot that caused that reaction until it happens again. And again. And again.

Gods, if Molly had known Caduceus would be like this, he’d have hopped in his lap with his arms over his head weeks ago.

Still, it’s all too soon that the insistent tickle in his hair soothes to a rub, and then stills, a comforting hand still woven into the curls. Slowly, very slowly, the jumping hiccup in his chest also fades, a remnant of a laugh that was never born. The soft warmth of the dome comes back to him like a blanket, a comfort that’s only augmented by the sensation of firbolg fur against his cheek.

Molly buries his face in Caduceus’ shirt with a whine. Caduceus lets out a huff of his own, curling away slightly from the place where Molly’s breath is stirring the fabric, and oh, that’s something to explore later.

Maybe when the sun comes up. Jester can help.

For now though, he nuzzles in, navigating the sharp prick of his horns around the soft firbolg torso, and finds that the tingle in his scalp has faded just enough to find sleep.

[critrolesideblog]

Some snippets from the Nein’s week at the Blooming Grove.

-----

There is a shadow of something between them. Something in the way their shoulders brush as they stand next to each other, in the way the Scourger's broad shoulders relax ever-so-slightly when Caleb is near, in the intensity with which he watches Caleb's face as he speaks, in the way Caleb's eyes travel slow, lingering paths up the Scourger's muscular arms when he thinks no one is watching.

Caleb has his back to Essek, standing over a desk, perusing a book the Scourger has lent him. The Scourger is next to him, arms crossed over his chest, leaning back against the desk with an air of ease and familiarity, as if he did not try to kill them all mere days ago. He is facing Essek, but not looking at him.

Until he is.

Brown eyes catch lilac ones in their stare, and a wolfish grin curls its way around the handsome features. He says something to Caleb in Zemnian, without breaking Essek's eye contact. It sounds like a question, to which Caleb replies casually.

It is foolish, Essek knows, to maintain eye contact like this. Any number of spells may be wrought thus, but he cannot find it in himself to look away.

The Scourger asks another question, his voice dropping an octave. He forfeits the staring contest to trace Caleb's form with his eyes, down then up, and there is still a wolfish edge to his playful grin as leans in past the boundary of Caleb's shoulder.

Without looking up from his book, Caleb places a hand on the near side of the Scourger's face and slowly but firmly extends his arm out. The Scourger, chuckling, allows himself to be pushed over far enough that he has to take a step away from Caleb to maintain his balance.

His eyes alight on Essek again. He says something to Caleb with a sigh, and then lopes out of the library, his eyes on Essek's all the while. Just before he floats down out of sight, he gives Essek a wink.

Once all is still, Caleb looks up, finally, toward the exit. His shoulder dips slightly as he turns to look at Essek, but Essek's eyes are already back on his own book.

------

"Anyway, it's a really good book, Essek. I think you'll like it."

"I am sure it is, but romance novels have never been my, ah, cup of tea."

Jester draws the small brush dipped in black laquer carefully across the final nail of Essek's right hand. "It's not just a romance novel, Essek. It's literature. You're missing out." She says the last part in a singsong voice as she leans back to survey her handiwork. "Are you sure you don't want me to put some little designs on them. I could make them very tasteful, you know, like some little stars or your favorite rune or something."

They are seated in front of the fireplace in Jester's room atop a make-shift bed of soft pillows and blankets. Fey cats sit among the pillows alongside them, some with tails holding aloft trays of milk, cookies, pastries, tea, and fruit, others merely there for their evening nap.

"I will likely be returning to Vurmas outpost soon, Jester. I do not want anything that will draw too much attention from the soldiers."

"Oh, alright," she says. Her tail sways slowly behind her like a disappointed shake of the head. "You do pull off the monochromatic look really well. Next time, through, we should try something different, just for fun, you know?" She gives him a bright, fanged grin.

"Yes, next time."

Essek thought, after a century of den politics, he could hide his heart from anyone (evidence shows even himself), but hiding it from Jester Lavorre is another matter entirely. She narrows her eyes at him suspiciously.

"There is going to be a next time, Essek. You're so smart -- I'm sure you can figure out a solution for anything. So there is going to be a next time, alright, Essek? Promise me."

"Jester--"

"Promise!" She holds her pinkie finger out toward him imperiously. The logical part of Essek's mind whirs with explanations, caveats, problems, but Jester is looking at him with such determination, such faith.

Slowly, carefully, he loops his pinkie around hers.

"I promise."

-----

Essek observes, a little wryly, that it promises to be another beautiful sunlit day, when a small but bright flash of light catches his eye painfully as he walks through the Grove after breakfast. He winces reflexively, and when he looks back, the glimmer is gone. Curious. He pauses, waiting, eyes carefully scanning the mist-clung leaves and gilded treetops. There is a distant rustling, a whisper of breeze, and -- there it is again! A flash and gone, but he sees the direction of its source this time.

Diverting from his usual path, he strikes off in search of it. He drifts into one of the wilder reaches of the grove, skirting mounds and headstones, overgrown with flowers of every color, shimmering with dew. Finally, the tall brush ahead of him clears and he finds...Fjord?

Fjord is lying on the damp undergrowth, the dawning sunlight glinting off the metal buckles of his armor. His limbs are thrown aside at funny angles as though he had fallen, but Essek's keen ears tell him his breathing is normal. From what Essek can tell, he is awake and uninjured.

"Fjord?"

"Mm?" One yellow eye opens to survey him coyly.

"What are you doing?"

"I have been ... grievously injured," Fjord rasps with great melodrama, his left hand moving slightly to bring Essek's attention to a wooden dowell a few inches from his knee.

The puzzle pieces fall into place.

"Ah." Essek murmurs, "This is a trap." A toothy grin spreads across the half-orc's handsome features, but Essek is already scanning his surroundings, ears straining, for any sign to give away his hunter. He does not want to make it too easy for him.

There is a rustle of leaves to his left.

He turns toward it, casting Shield with a little more flourish than is strictly necessary, and -- twang--FWUMP! He hisses as a dowell hits him hard in the back of his right shoulder. An orange cat with familiar blue eyes pops its head out of the flowers in front of him. Catleb tilts his head playfully as victorious giggles erupt from the tree branches behind Essek.

Essek looks down at his shoulder as though surveying the damage. "I am not sure a shoulder wound is instantly mortal."

"The arrows are poisoned," Fjord supplies casually.

"Ah, of course."

"And if you don't die with enough gravitas, you'll be made to do it again."

Essek suppresses a sigh and a smirk. He supposes he cannot have enough practice faking his death.

-----

"Alright, man, that's enough for right now," Beau says as she closes her notebook. "I think we both need some food and some fresh air." She rises from her seat, stretches, and claps Caleb on the shoulder as she walks by. "Let's go, dude. Don't make me come back in here for you, 'cause you know I will." And with that, she walks past the shadow, out of the Clays' kitchen, into the sunshine.

Caleb rubs his hands over his face and takes a deep breath. Eins, zwei, drei...

Constance Clay is seated to his left. She is a calm, abiding presence, listening without judgment, a witness, an anchor. Caleb gives her a nod, and she nods back, as has become their habit in ending these sessions. Finally, he rises and walks past the other witness in the room.

"Caleb," the shadow calls softly as he reaches the door.

Caleb turns back.

There is a moment of silence as the apology dies in Wulf's teeth, and Caleb is not sure if expecting no different makes it hurt more or less.

"I know," he replies. Wulf does not flinch. He never has. He never will. "I know."

He walks out into the sunshine.

----

Caleb wakes up on a warm, sunlit patch of grass. He stares at the cloudless, blue sky for a moment before his attention is drawn by the skritch-a-scratch-scratch of pencil on paper to his left.

Jester is sitting beneath a peach tree, her sketchbook propped up against her knees. When her candy-pink eyes look up to peer at him over the pages, she grins and beckons him with a single, curling finger.

Slowly, after a nice, big stretch, he ambles up and over to her and crouches down at her side. She holds her book out at arms-length, so they can both survey her work: an orange cat fast asleep on its back in the sunshine. It's curled around on itself like a doughnut, its fluffy tummy exposed, a look pure feline bliss on its face.

"I think I got your good side."

-----

"A lee-tle more to the left," Jester says, motioning for Essek to stand closer-still to Caleb. He cannot get much closer without falling into Caleb's lap (he'll thank her later). He stares at her for a long moment, floats in just a nudge, and then shares A Look with Caleb. She considers this a small match-making success.

Gardening, truth be told, is not Jester's strong suit, so she has been spending her week in the Grove doing something much more important: drawing, drawing, and drawing some more. She draws until her hand cramps, at which point she pauses to eat a pastry or two and goes back to drawing again: Caleb and Essek conversing in the shade of an apple tree; Veth chasing Luc through the flowers; Yasha returning a baby bird to its nest; Fjord and Beau sparring amidst a shower of jacaranda petals; Constance and Cornelius Clay, each with an arm around Caduceus' shoulders, resting their heads against his in turns as they drink tea; Kingsley flirting incorrigibly with Eadwulf; Eadwulf and Astrid tending, with great care and concentration, to a plant that was half struck by the Blight; Sprinkle napping among the flowers; and a hundred other little moments, until her trusty sketchbook is almost entirely out of paper. And she knows exactly how she wants to use the final piece.

Fjord, Veth, and Caleb are seated in the garden on a motley assortment of chairs from the Clays' home, with Caduceus, Beau, Yasha, Molly, and Essek standing behind.

"You know, Blueberry, there is going to be a problem with this portrait." Caleb says, and Jester frowns, considering the composition and the lighting.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not in it.” Ah, yes, that tender grin is the exact one Jester wants to capture.

"Of course she is!" Declares Veth, tilting her head left then right to regard the rest of the Nein. "Look at all these smiles!"

[ttuesday]

Behind the Saloon

Note: I am by no means a writer but goddamn I have been so horny for the rat man lately I had to do this for myself 

Quick Summary: Micah face fucks you💕 ...that’s it

(NSFW obviously)

You both knew this was going to happen eventually, it was just a matter of time. The constant bickering the two of you took part in somehow changed from angrily snapping at one another to flirting.

You weren’t going to lie to yourself, you did find Micah attractive. Maybe it was his eyes or his never brushed hair, or perhaps even his voice. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was about him that got you so hot and bothered. You tried to convince yourself for weeks that you didn’t have the hots for him but now there was no denying it.

Jealousy built in your gut as a working girl went over to the table Micah sat at with Bill and Dutch. You had all been out on a job when Dutch spontaneously decided that you should all go to the local saloon before heading back to camp.

You knew the only reason Dutch suggested it was because he had been fighting with Molly all day but the fellas were excited about the prospects of the saloon. You had been talking to Lenny and John when you noticed her saunter over to their table. Micah began eyeing her up immediately as Dutch tried to charm the woman. Bill sat there as bored as could be.

Your grip around your beer bottle tightened as you watched them. Before you could comprehend what it was you were doing, you had already started to walk over. “Fellas,” you smiled “another round?”.

“I’ll pay” offered Dutch, rising from his seat. He turned to the working girl “Miss, may I have the pleasure of buying you a drink?”. She giggled and followed him to the bar.

You stayed standing, resting one of your hands on the back of a chair. “Awh, don’t have enough money for her?” you said in a mockingly sympathetic voice to Micah. The man scowled “Don’t you worry doll, I got plenty of cash”.

“Sure you do” you replied sarcastically. With a huff, Micah stood and stalked off towards the back of the saloon. Bill opened his mouth to start some small talk with you but you interrupted him “Give me a minute”. 

You walked off in the direction you last saw Micah, not quite done with him yet. Half guessing which way he could’ve went, you opened a door that led you to the calm night outside the back of the building.

There was only one person out there, smoking a cigarette with his brow creased in annoyance. He was looking out at the empty landscape, not noticing you. “Thought I could smell desperation out here” you said, making him aware of your presence. You closed the door behind you, trapping the loud talking of the drunks and music that wafted from the piano inside the saloon. Now it was just you and him. 

“You best watch that mouth of yours” he snapped, smoke leaving his mouth as he spoke. Micah thought for a moment before flicking his cigarette to the ground. He turned to you with a smirk “Seeing me looking at another woman must’ve really gotten under your skin”. You scoffed “You wish”.

“Come on, doll. It’s alright to be jealous” he taunted. “I ain’t jealous!” you protested. Micah looked you up and down before stepping towards the door “Well then, guess I’ll go in there and get myself-“. 

“Wait” you cut him off, side-stepping in front of the man. With a smug smile on his face, Micah rested his hands on your waist “There a problem?”. You looked up at him, pouting slightly.

Micah chuckled as he dipped his head down and captured your lips in a kiss. Maybe it was the alcohol that gave him the courage to do it or maybe your jealousy really was that obvious. Either way, you didn’t care. He was kissing you now and that’s a win in your books. You couldn’t help yourself as you instantly kissed him back, your hands going to the back of his head and intertwining with his hair. Micah tightened his hold on your waist as he stepped forward again, forcing you to step backwards.

You only stopped when the wall of the saloon was against your back. He deepened the kiss, running his tongue along your bottom lip before pushing into your mouth. It was exactly how you imagined kissing Micah. He was possessive, his hands trailing all over your body. He was in control and he wanted you to know that. Yet you wanted more.

You brought one of your hands down from his hair and to his chest. Using the wall to push off from, you forced Micah to step backwards. It was only momentarily as you turned, lips still attached to his, and pushed him against the wall.

You could feel him smirk into the kiss, curious as to what exactly you were up to. You gently moved your hands down until they reached his gun belt. Micah broke the kiss. “Someone’s eager” he commented. “Don’t you want me to?” you asked, concerned you may have tried to take things too far too soon. 

“Oh it’s fine by me, darlin” he assured you. One of Micah’s hands trailed up your back before settling on your head. With slight pressure, he guided you down to kneel before him.

As you got comfortable on the ground, trying not to kneel directly on any jagged rocks, Micah removed his hand from your head and took off his gun belt, placing it on a nearby barrel.

Once he was ready, you began to undo the buttons on his pants, going painfully slow just to annoy him. Nothing wrong with teasing him a little bit. You weren’t surprised when his cock sprung out as he shuffled his stained pants around his hips.

Micah never seemed like the kind of man that would have underwear on. You didn’t realize Micah had such a hard-on just from kissing. It gave you a strange sense of accomplishment. You moved your head closer while maintaining eye contact with him and smeared his pre-cum across your lips. Micah’s mouth was slightly open, entranced by the sight of you in this position. 

Placing his hand on the back of your head, Micah guided his cock into your awaiting mouth and towards the back of your throat. Still testing the waters, he slowly slid his length back out to the entrance of your mouth. You started to think that maybe he wasn’t going to be as rough as you anticipated. Maybe you had built up what this would be like for so long that-

You couldn’t even finish that sentence as Micah thrust his hips forward, pushing his cock down your throat. You gagged, your mouth full with his girth. Micah tightened his hold on your head as he watched his entire length disappeared into your mouth. Your eyes watered at the feeling of near suffocation.

“That’s it,” he cooed “ain’t you a good whore, taking my cock like that”. Your jaw started to ache as his cock moved in and out of your mouth, always going as far as he could with every thrust. You could feel the heat growing between your legs, your need for another hole to be filled.

Micah began to forcefully fuck your face, a smirk tugging at his lips every time you gagged. He became more undone as he watched his cock slip deep inside your mouth, his breathing becoming more erratic by the second. Tears ran down your face as some spit dribbled out the side of your mouth.

“Oh what a mess you look right now” he chuckled, bringing his cock back out just to thrust it deeply inside again. “You been wanting this for some time now, huh?” he asked in the same mocking manner you spoke to him with in the saloon “You been needing my cock?”.

Micah changed his tight grip, using both of his hands to gather your hair and keep it away from your face. He stopped talking and clenched his jaw in an attempt to stop any moans or grunts escaping.

Your knees were getting sore from the uneven gravel beneath you but the watery sight of Micah completely losing himself almost made it worth it. “So tight” he muttered to himself.

Keeping his firm grip, Micah picked up the pace and roughly fucked your mouth for a few seconds, his hips snapping back and forth. He was completely transfixed on your face and how well you took his length. 

Even if a drunk did stumble out of the saloon now, you weren’t convinced Micah would notice their presence. You rested your hands on his thighs in the hopes that would give you some support. “You like this, huh?” he growled, nearing his high “You like me using you like this? Such a pretty face… a mess, but still pretty”. Micah was unable to suppress a groan. “Doll, I’m gonna-“ he interrupted himself with another groan.

You brought one of your hands up to the base of his shaft, signalling that you were ready. Within a couple of seconds, you began to feel Micah’s hot seed spill into your mouth. He pushed your head closer to him so that his whole length was inside your mouth once more, his balls pressed against your chin. He held you there as he came, muttering curse words under his breath and only easing his cock back out when he had finished.

Micah let go of your head and you were finally able to breath properly. A mix of spit and his load escaped your mouth and went down your face. Micah leaned back against the wall, catching his breath.

You cleaned your face as best you could with a spare handkerchief Hosea let you borrow a few days ago… though you doubted he would ever want it back now.

As you stood, your knees still sore from the ground, Micah tucked himself away and quickly looped his gun belt back around his pants. “Well, can’t say I’m surprised” he said “always knew you’d put that mouth of yours to good work”.

You scoffed, opening your mouth to insult him when he grabbed the collar of your shirt and yanked you nearer to him. You were surprised when he pulled you in for a passionate kiss. “You’re gonna have to leave me repay the favour, doll” he spoke directly against your lips. “Well since you’ve got plenty of cash, how’s about we rent a room for the night?” you suggested. “I like your thinking,” he agreed “now c’mon, best we get back in there before they miss us too much”.

You nodded and opened the door to the saloon, ready to go back in as if nothing had happened. As he followed you inside, he gave your ass a quick slap. “Micah!” you snapped at him, feigning annoyance. Micah did his signature low chuckle and closed the door behind him.

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 134: 2x16

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

March 15, 2022

2x16: Roadkill

Written by: Raelle Tucker

Directed by: Charles Beeson

Original air date: March 15, 2007

Plot Synopsis:

A fatal automobile accident from 1992 leaves an angry apparition haunting a remote stretch of highway, and Sam and Dean try to lay it to rest.

Features:

A vanishing car accident, The House of the Rising Son, characters replaying the same tragedy over and over, not knowing when you’re dead.

My Thoughts:

This is one of those classic, iconic early-series episodes. Honestly, Raelle Tucker might be my favourite writer of the early seasons. Almost definitely my favourite of the first two seasons, at least. Other top-notch work by her includes 1x03 Dead in the Water, 1x12 Faith, and 2x20 What Is and What Never Should Be, among other things.

I watched the show casually when I was probably too young to be watching, and before streaming was widely available I would watch it if I happened to catch it. Somehow I had seen this episode like 3 times when I decided to go back and start the entire series from the beginning sometime around 2011ish.

I love the framing and format of this episode. It takes what would otherwise be a pretty standard monster of the week/salt and burn case and gives it stakes and dramatic tension by making Molly the point of view character rather than either of the brothers. I think they’ve done this a few times throughout the seasons but this is one of, if not the, most successful. It’s a really effective way of asking what makes a monster a monster without needing to outright state it. Also, it’s really clear how much of a dick Dean can be when he isn’t the audience surrogate.

I absolutely adore the Heaven vs Hell, Angels vs Demons plots of season 4 and beyond, but there’s something to be said for not knowing where you go when you die that can’t be recaptured once the question has been answered. I also like Purgatory and the Empty as plots, but you can’t get around the fact that we either know or can make an educated guess about what happens to the consciousness of pretty much every character in the show once they’ve died. The only exception I can really think of is monsters that died while already in Purgatory, and that question isn’t really asked in a way that makes it matter like Heaven and Hell do.

The thing that I find most exciting about this episode in watching it through Stacked is the way it functions as a thesis for the entire show, especially the later seasons. Sam says, “[...] they’re trapped. Caught in the same loops. Replaying the same tragedies over and over.” In the same way that Molly is trapped in the same loop of the car accident and Greely’s revenge, Sam and Dean are trapped in the narrative, playing out the same dynamics, betrayals, and choices over and over. They are endlessly being chased by God while also being lost, wounded animals lashing out in pain.

Notable Lines:

“Spirits like Greeley are like wounded animals. Lost. In so much pain that they lash out.”

“Could be love. Or hate. Whatever it is, they just hold on too tight. Can't let go. So they're trapped. Caught in the same loops. Replaying the same tragedies over and over. [...] A lot of them were good. Just... Something happened to them. Something they couldn't control.”

“Hope is kind of the whole point.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 9.5

IMdB Rating: 8.9

In Conclusion: I need to learn to make gifs or AMVs to fully convey what I’m talking about with that “replaying the same tragedies” line, holy shit.

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[elldell1204]

Silence the Green-Eyed Monster - Matt Casey x Reader

Anonymous: hey love! you absolutely smashed the last fic! can I request another casey x reader? could imagine they’re in a relationship and keep it a secret. somehow someone gets jealous and they can’t hide it anymore? thanks love x

Thank you so much, you’re too kind! ❤️ Ugh, I can’t explain how much I love the ‘secret relationship’ fics, so thank you for requesting this. I kinda went off on a tangent but it’s all Casey fluff so I’m not sorry 😝 Also went a little more protective Casey for the big reveal but there’s still some jealousy in there. Enjoy this long ass fic! 😊

Warning: Mention of and reference to smut, nothing particularly detailed.

wc - 6,257

You took a deep breath as you awoke, the warmth of the room from the sun shining through the gap in the curtains mixing with the smell of fresh sheets was a moment you treasured each morning. It’s what kept you grateful. You knew in your line of work that all it took was a bad call to have your future ripped away from you. That you knew from personal experience. Only this morning, along with the previous few, there was a different scent swirling into the mix. It was a cosy combination of something very musky and woody, with a hint of smoke.

Taking a moment to cherish how lucky you were before you fluttered your eyes open, you remembered the events of last night, which brought a light blush to your cheeks, as you became aware of how you were both completely naked. Matt had his chest flush to your back, an arm draped around your waist and hugging you softly and his breath was ever so slightly tickling your neck.

That’s when a smile grew on your face, one of those grins that were impossible to hold back, not that you wanted to. For the past three days, Sylvie Brett, your best friend, partner and roommate, had gone back home to Fowlerton to face her parents for the first time since she broke off her engagement with the Chaplain. She had spoken to them over the phone, of course, but as soon as the chatter died down in her hometown about her antics and she had worked up the nerve to show her face again, she decided to take a few days off and visit them.

And while you were going to miss your best friend, even if it was just for five days, you were excited to finally be able to spend a couple of nights with your boyfriend. You and Matt didn’t get to do this often (unless you booked a hotel room, which was becoming an expensive endeavour), and it wasn’t just about the sex. You loved the domesticity of it all, cooking dinner together, laughing, talking, listening to music, cuddling on the couch whilst watching a movie. You felt complete when you were with Matt, and it was something you were never going to get tired of, and neither was he, if your relationship continued in the direction it was going in.

When you and Matt first started seeing each other, it was just over a year after Gabby left. You had replaced her on Ambo, quickly becoming a part of the 51 family with little to no grievances towards you. You were pretty sure Matt actually wasn’t a fan of you at first, seeing as you technically took someone’s place who he didn’t want to be gone, but he soon got past it, and you both actually became good friends. You had the same sense of humour, a similar taste in music and you both liked the same movies, so you had a lot to bond over. And you fell hard.

At first you were angry at yourself. How on earth could you fall in love with a colleague - a superior - let alone one who was still grieving from his divorce? Only, however hard you tried to stop yourself, you just ended up making it worse. For example, if you tried not to meet his topaz blue eyes as he smiled, you became more aware of how gorgeous his laugh sounded and decided immediately you didn’t get to hear it enough. See the problem?

But one night at Molly’s changed everything. It was Christmas time last year, and after saying a last goodbye and happy holidays to everyone before you went back to your hometown, you left the bar just as Casey was entering.

You were practically beaming from ear to ear as you approached the door. Herrmann had a loop of classic Christmas hits on throughout the evening, and you were still feeling the rush from when Casey dragged you into his little office back at the station earlier to exchange gifts with you. You argued that you weren’t technically allowed to open it yet, seeing as Christmas wasn’t for a couple more days, but Matt had persuaded you by telling you how much he wanted to see your face when you opened it. Of course you couldn’t say no to such a sweet admission, especially from Matt. It was totally worth it when you excitedly ripped off the wrapping paper to reveal a photo album full of memories from the past year and a half. It brought a tear to your eye and a smile that lit up your face, as did the expression that Matt wore. He was so elated that you loved it, enjoying how he got to see the smile he adored so much.

So you said a last goodbye and then swung open the gorgeous wooden door, stepping out into the freezing Chicago night. That’s when you ended up being so close to Matt Casey that you could feel the warmth of his breath before it got cooled down by the air.

“Oh, sorry, Matt.” You laughed slightly awkwardly as you took a step back.

“No, it was my fault. I was in a bit of daydream.” He smiled.

“Well, I, er, was just heading out. Wanted to say goodbye before I make my way home tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, okay, well, have a good Christmas, Y/N.”

“You too, Matt.” You smiled back, raising your eyes away from his face (because your heart was telling you to just lean forward and do what you’ve wanted to for months) to look up in hopes to catch a glimpse of the stars. Only, you didn’t see them, you saw the little bunch of green leaves adorned by white berries, and your eyes widened.

Matt was confused by your expression, so he followed your eyeline, being met with the same thing; mistletoe. When he looked back down once again at your face, you were biting your lip, your eyes flickering between his mouth and his eyes dangerously. You’d never know how desperately he wanted to use his thumb to free your bottom lip from your teeth, but the thought soon disappeared when you leaned in.

He met you halfway, lips brushing against one another’s in uncertainty before you pushed forward, pressing a not-so-chaste kiss to his mouth, something which he didn’t expect but wasn’t mad about. It quickly became heated, all the pent-up sexual tension you both harboured for months being poured into the kiss, the way your hands wrapped around his neck, how his found your waist and then your ass when you pressed him against the wall behind him.

Breathless, you pulled away, painfully aware of how you were still in the doorway of Molly’s, letting out a little laugh. “We should probably get out of here, before someone finds us.” You smirked. All Matt could do was nod, wearing that boyish grin of his with a hint of lust in his eyes, before he pulled you quickly to his truck to make a quick getaway.

One thing led to another, and after finally admitting your feelings for each other that night, you became a ‘thing’ that had now been going strong for about six months. ‘Thing’ is the only way you felt right describing it, seeing as you two were exclusive but no one knew about it yet, apart from both of your families.

That had been Matt’s idea, to keep your relationship secret. He felt worried that the house might have a bit of a problem with it, seeing as the wound from Gabby leaving is still a little tender for some of them. And though you didn’t share the same concern, you understood and therefore agreed. Plus, it was going to be fun sneaking around for a while, possibly even sexy.

Little kisses being trailed along your shoulder are what informed you Matt was coming out of his slumber.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” You smiled even though he couldn’t see it.

“Morning, babe.” He mumbled against your shoulder, still half dazed, before letting out an almighty yawn.

“Still tired?” You chuckled, gently turning over to face him.

“Do you blame me? We were at it like rabbits last night.” He grinned wide at the way your cheeks flushed.

“Well, too bad we have to get up for shift, otherwise you could’ve given me a reminder.” You winked before sitting up, pulling the sheets with you to cover your chest.

“We could always take a shower.” Matt teased, reaching out a hand to draw shapes on your thigh.

Though the motion cause goosebumps to raise on your skin, you shook your head lightly, biting your lip in his direction before standing up and pulling on one of your oversized t-shirts.

“No time. I need to drop you off home, remember? How about I make some quick breakfast whilst you get dressed and then I’ll drive you.” You offered.

“Sounds lovely.” He said, finally moving to get ready whilst you slipped away to the kitchen.

You were halfway into making some French toast when you heard the keys in the door. At first you thought you imagined it, blaming it on the fact you were still a little drowsy. But you knew you couldn’t imagine Sylvie standing right in front of you.

“Something smells good.” She exclaimed, which really woke you up.

“Sylvie!” You practically shouted, both out of shock and as a way to alert Matt about your unexpected company. “I thought you weren’t coming back for a couple more days?”

“Wasn’t planning on it, but I knew as soon as I got there that five days was gonna be too long, especially when everything there was reminding me of being with Kyle.” She visibly shuddered, taking a seat at one of the stools at the breakfast bar. “I just felt trapped, you know? My parents understood and were fine with me coming back early. I called Boden last night to let him know I’d be available for shift today, and I also called you, but you didn’t pick up.”

“Sorry, I didn’t even realise, I was a little busy.”

“I can tell.” She smirked. You raised an eyebrow at her. “Whoever you were getting busy with has left his shoes at the door.”

Your eyes went wide in shock as she chuckled. ‘Shit’ you thought.

“Would you like me to go hide in my room whilst you get mystery man out of here?” She smiled. God, you love this woman.

“Yes please.” You replied sheepishly.

She slid off the stool and went to pick up her bag by the door. On her way past you she stopped, smiled over at you and said, calmly, “Oh, and say hi to Casey for me.” whilst pointing nonchalantly at the CFD captain’s jacket hung on the coat rack before practically skipping to her room.

You were absolutely gobsmacked. You quickly served up the French toast before going back into your room to find Casey sat on the edge of the bed with an amused look on his face.

“Did you…?” You asked, gesturing with your thumb to the kitchen.

“Yeah, I did.” He chuckled.

You shook your head, the shock finally wearing off as you went to pull on a pair of sweats from your drawer. “I swear she should’ve become a detective.”

***

You and Brett along with Truck 81 and Engine 51 were making your way to a vehicle accident just five minutes after your shift started. You hadn’t had a chance to speak to Brett yet about this morning, so you saw the drive there as the perfect opportunity.

“Listen, I owe you an explanation.”

“No you don’t.” Brett smiled sincerely, flickering her eyes over to me to show she was being genuine before looking back to the road.

“Well, I want to. It wasn’t just last night, me and Casey. We’ve been seeing each other for nearly six months now, and I really wanted to tell you, I did, but Matt asked me to keep it a secret, just for a bit, so I did, and…I’m sorry.”

“I know, Y/N. I figured it out a little while ago. I’ve seen the way you look at each other and have your little hushed conversations and comfort each other discreetly after a tough call. It’s okay, it’s none of my business, and I’m not mad.” She chuckled, and I let out a deep breath in relief. I figured she wouldn’t be, but I wasn’t sure. “By the way, I think you’re really good together.”

“Thanks.” You smiled at her as you pulled up to the scene of the accident.

You pulled up just after Truck, surveying the scene as you slowed to a stop. A car had collided with a parked van, its engine letting off a lot of smoke. You and Brett hopped out, grabbing the jump bags and then making your way over to the car where Casey had already begun talking to the patient.

Herrmann came over with a halligan to pry open the driver’s door while Casey went around to the passenger side, smashing the window and climbing inside. You thanked Herrmann before peering in, seeing that the guy had his leg pinned in, which is why Casey had climbed in.

With gloves on, you examined the laceration the guy had on his forehead, most likely from slamming it on the wheel on impact.

“How’s he doing?” Brett called from behind you.

“He’s alert. Laceration to the face, left leg is pinned.” You replied, looking over to Casey who shifted in his seat to get a better angle before jamming his halligan into the footwell to free the driver. Meanwhile, you put a c-collar on him, noticing his rapid breathing at the same time and so you tried to calm him down by making small talk.

“How is it you managed to crash into a parked vehicle?”

“I looked down to change the radio station. It was an emergency; they were playing Justin Bieber.” He let out a strained laugh.

“Say no more.” You chuckled.

“I knew you’d understand.” He managed to get out in panting breaths before he focused on you. “Your eyes are incredible by the way.”

You were a little taken aback by his last sentence, seeing as he was struggling to focus on keeping calm, let alone your face. You glanced over to Casey, still working diligently as he spared a look your way, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“I think you must’ve hit your head.” You smiled, just as the hood of the car burst into flames.

You ducked away, painfully aware that Casey was stuck inside the car. You trusted your colleagues in putting out the fire before it could harm anyone, but still your heart worried for any unexpected turns this could take, putting the driver and Casey in danger.

He managed to free the driver’s leg, shouting to the rest of Truck for a backboard. They safely extracted the driver, and almost immediately after, Casey swan dived out of the car, just as a fireball exploded from the car.

Stood by the gurney, you gazed over, your heart in your stomach as you waited to see if he was okay. A few seconds later, Casey was up on his feet on the other side of the car, and you let out the breath you didn’t realise you were holding. He looked over, trying to meet your eyes, and when he succeeded, he gave a little nod to tell you he was okay. And that’s all you needed to be focused once more, ready for the patient to be delivered to you by the firefighters.

***

It was a few hours later, just as you were finishing up restocking the ambo, when Casey emerged from the common room doors looking for you. You had sent Brett inside a few minutes earlier so she could get something to eat, offering to finish up on your own.

You smiled over at Casey as you ticked off the last box on your checklist, jumping down from your rig. He was making his way over to you when you heard, “Hey, there she is!” from a familiar voice behind you. “It’s the miracle worker with the big y/e/c eyes.”

You turned, being met by the guy you saved from the crash earlier today holding a bunch of yellow lilies and wearing a smile from ear to ear.

“Oh, hi…erm…”

“Mason.” He said, offering you the flowers.

“Yes, Mason, of course. Thank you so much, these are gorgeous, but you didn’t have to bring me anything.” You smiled at him, conscious of Matt standing a few feet away near the truck to make it less awkward. “How’s your leg?”

“Oh, they did an MRI, just a muscle tear, it’s no biggie. I just wanted to thank you for taking such good care of me.” He explained. His voice seemed smooth, seductive even, but you thought you were just reading too much into it, so you just smiled a little wider and tilted your head sincerely.

“Ah, well, just doing my job.” You said, and it came out a little more awkward than you would have liked, but he didn’t seem to notice.

It was then you felt extremely lucky as a call came over the intercom for ambo, so you took a deep breath before walking past him and moving to get into the rig. “Well, I gotta go, but thank you for the flowers.”

“I never got your name.” He followed you, looking through the window as you sat in your seat.

“Oh, um, Y/N.” You offered a small smile, but you desperately wanted to get out of there. You turned to your right to place the flowers down in the space in the console before turning back to him, only he was leaning his forearms on the windowsill and offering you a business card.

“Well, Y/N, I would be over the moon if you let me buy you lunch sometime.” His grin was a little creepier now he was so close, and you could smell the bitter coffee on his breath.

You took the card to be polite, but as soon as Sylvie jumped into the passenger seat, you sped off, looking in the wing mirror to see Casey leaned against Truck with his jaw tense and fists stuffed into his jacket pockets.

***

When you returned from Med after the call, Casey was nowhere to be found. You looked all over: the common room, Boden’s office, his own office, restroom, locker room. Nowhere. And you couldn’t ask around, in fear of being suspicious, although you could have lied and said you borrowed a book or were requesting some furlough, but you didn’t want to be caught out on that later.

In the end, you decided to go stand out on the apron for some fresh air and a good think. You were worried that he was upset about Mason coming and speaking to you earlier or about you taking the card, although you would be majorly surprised if he would be annoyed over that, seeing as he is one of the most understanding people you have ever met. What did surprise you, though, was when you looked up and saw him sitting on the roof of the firehouse in a fold-out chair.

“Jesus Christ, Casey, what are you doing up there?!”

“Just taking a moment.” He replied, and you finally noticed the ladder he had used to get up there propped up against the building. You started walking toward it to join him when you heard him stand up and walk over to it, his footsteps on the metal ringing out above your head. He slid down it skilfully, impressing you in the process.

“I would have come up there, you didn’t have to come down.” You shrugged, smirking at him slightly.

“With your fear of heights? No chance.” He chuckled.

You smiled at him. He didn’t seem annoyed. Just a little…off.

“I can see the cogs turning, Y/N. What’s up?” He said as he slyly hooked his little finger into yours. You both did this often when you wanted to show affection to one another at the firehouse but had to be discreet, just in case someone was watching.

“Are you okay?” You said, your voice a little higher than usual and brows slightly furrowed.

Matt raised an eyebrow at you. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?”

“That…um…just with that Mason guy coming round earlier. I only took his card to seem polite, I have no intention of-“

“Y/N.” Matt interrupted, an amused twinkle in his eye, which made you relax slightly. “I know. I trust you, always have and always will. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You sighed contently. “And you have no idea how much I want to throw my arms around you and kiss you right now.”

He chuckled. “Me too, but Gallo’s coming this way and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to give him a show.”

You drew your hand back slowly, just in time for when Gallo emerged from the door.

“Lieutenant, Y/L/N, food’s almost done.”

“Thanks, Gallo.” You turned his way and shot him a genuine smile before following him in, Matt hot on your heels.

***

You thanked whoever was looking down on you for those minutes of peace within the firehouse, where no one was out on a call and you all got to relax, play cards, talk, read a book. The latter was one of your personal favourites, seeing as you were always engrossed in one novel or another. Talking with your friends was also another. You loved to hear about Herrmann’s kids, Gallo’s sad excuse for a love life, Severide and Kidd’s weekend getaway (although you weren’t too fond of the details, but luckily they usually skipped past those with merely a wink at each other). Right now, you and Brett were talking about the upcoming wedding of one of a previous mutual partner.

“Have you got your dress yet?” You asked her.

“Yep, got it last weekend. It’s a gorgeous blush pink maxi dress, and its so comfy. What about you?”

“Mine’s about knee length, a dark green silky material. I can’t wait to go, plus Maddison is going to look gorgeous.”

“She really is!” Brett gushed, looking over your shoulder at Matt, who was sitting three seats down at the end of the table. She lowered her voice, “Are you taking Matt as your date?”

Your eyes got a little sadder and you looked down at your fingers. “I’m not sure. I’d love to, and I probably could get away with if we said we were just going as friends, but I don’t know if we’d be able to keep it up or if they’d get suspicious.” You murmured. “I need to talk to Matt first, because it’s his call. Whatever he wants to do, I’m up for.”

She nodded gently, offering you a small smile before sitting up straighter and opening her mouth to speak, but before she could, Capp shouted from the doorway.

“Hey, Y/L/N, there’s someone outside to see you. Says his names Mason?”

You rolled your eyes, inhaling deeply before casting a glance over to Matt carefully. You got up from your chair slowly, with all eyes on you, and made your way out onto the apparatus floor.

“Hey, Y/N, how are you?” Mason beamed, making his way over to you with his arms wide open, as if he was coming for a hug.

You stayed still, arms crossed, showing him you didn’t accept the hug, and he stopped just short of you, smile a little weaker but barely altered.

“Hi Mason. What’re you doing here?” You tried to smile politely.

“Well, I wanted to ask you something. You see, I think you’re really pretty and you were so kind to me that I knew I couldn’t miss out on the opportunity on asking you out on a date. So, how does this Friday at seven sound?”

Your eyes almost shot out of your head, and you heard someone choke on their own laughter over at the squad table. ‘Glad someone’s enjoying the show.’ You thought.

“I…erm… that’s, um, very kind of you, Mason. And I really appreciate the offer, but I’m so sorry, I’m going to have to say no.” You answered, trying to convey how apologetic you felt on your face. You glanced around you, mainly at the squad table to see how they were all trying to act like they weren’t listening.

He didn’t seem to back down though, which furthered your observation of him being a little creepy. “Oh, come on, Y/N, just one date, you won’t regret it, I promise.”

Before you could reply, Severide shouted, “Hey, buddy, she said no, now get lost.” He was walking over to you to back you up, which you were extremely thankful for as you had no idea how to handle this situation to stop it getting out of control. Usually, you were pretty good at standing up for yourself and speaking your mind, but that doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate the back up from your friends when offered.

“This doesn’t concern you, pretty boy.” Mason snarled, and Severide squared his shoulders.

“What’s going on?” Matt called, coming through the common room doors to stand beside you. ‘Oh god, this could get messy.’ You thought, and you knew you had to diffuse it, and fast.

“Nothing, Casey. Mason here was just leaving, weren’t you?” You answered.

Mason seemed to soften up when you spoke. “Yeah, I was. Well, call me later, Y/N, and we can confirm that date.” He gave a toothy smile and a wink which sent a shiver down your spine, then left through the open door.

Once he was out of sight, you turned to Severide. “Thanks, Kelly, I owe you.”

“No problem, Y/N, but be careful with that guy. Something’s off about him.” He patted your shoulder as you nodded in reply, then went back over to sit at the squad table.

Casey didn’t say a word before walking through the double doors, but instead of going straight on to the common room, he took a right, walking down the corridor towards the bunk room. You waited for a moment before following him, slightly concerned. At this moment, you didn’t care if you raised anyone’s suspicions; you had a gut feeling something was off, and you needed to make sure Matt was okay.

You walked cautiously down the same route as Matt, entering the bunk room and looking straight towards his office. He was sat down at his desk, pen in hand and head rested on his fist, his brows knitted in either concentration or frustration, and you were pretty sure it was the latter. After a quick survey of the bunk room and being satisfied you were alone, you advanced towards his office, gently rapping your knuckles against the door to let him know you were there. He looked up, a blank expression on his face, and gestured for you to come in before looking back down at his incident report.

You opened the door but didn’t walk in, deciding to lean against the door frame and gauge the atmosphere first.

“Hey, you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He said a little snappily, not tearing his eyes away from his report for a second.

You bit the inside of your cheek in thought, then went and perched on the end of his bed, closing the door softly behind you. He made no effort to acknowledge your company, but he also didn’t object.

“Matt, baby, what’s wrong?” You almost whispered, despite no one being in earshot but your boyfriend.

“Nothing, like I said, I’m fine.”

“Well it doesn’t seem like it.” You said, and although the words could have been interpreted as snarky, you didn’t intend for them to be, and so you internally winced. “I didn’t mean it like that. You can talk to me, Matt, I want to listen.”

He stopped writing, and you were hopeful that he would explain, but a few minutes passed and still no words left his mouth. He turned around in his chair to face you, his eyes showing you that he was sorry, but his jaw was clenched and his left hand was still in a tight fist.

So you thought, you thought really hard as to what he was feeling and why he would be feeling like this. Had you forgotten something important? No, your anniversary wasn’t for a few more months and neither was his birthday. Had you forgotten to do the dishes? No, you both did them together last night after your meal.

And then it hit you.

He was jealous. Matthew Casey was jealous. And you smiled. A beaming smile that shone brighter than a lighthouse, because although it was annoying for him, you found it pretty funny and also very cute.

“Matt Casey…” You teased, standing up slowly and stalking towards him with your arms crossed and a tilted head. “Are you jealous?”

“What? No.” He splutters, trying to be convincing but it doesn’t work in the slightest.

You smirk at him. “Aww…Matt…”

“Fine, I guess I am a bit. It’s just…that guy, the way he was looking at you like you were his next meal, it just…it made my blood boil.”

“I know. Me too. It’s fair enough that you’re angry but you have nothing at all to be jealous of, I love you and only you.” You offer a smile, which he returns, before you check out of the window.

Seeing nobody, you placed your palms down on each arm of his chair, leaning down so you were inches away from his face.

He squinted his eyes playfully at you, smirking. “Risky.” He teased.

“Shut up.” You laughed, then locked your lips with his, giving him a searing hot kiss, your tongues meeting and fighting a battle for dominance, which he won. You explored each other’s mouths, not worrying for a second if someone would see because you wanted him, needed him, and he needed you. He bit your lip, causing you to moan into his mouth, and his lips tugged upwards into a smile.

You pulled away, breathless, and smiled, catching your bottom lip between your teeth as you dared to look into his eyes. It was a dangerous move, as his irises had turned a sinful shade of blue and all you desired was to pull him over to his bed and draw the blinds. Actually, fuck that, his chair would do.

But you managed to stand upright, clearing your throat as you felt your cheeks reddening. You regained enough composure to look back into his eyes, and he seemed more relaxed, barring the bulge that was now evident in his pants, which you were proud of causing.

“By the way, I love you too. And you didn’t have to prove it, I already know, not that I’m complaining about getting that kiss out of it.”

“Yeah, well, you’re gonna get a lot more than that tonight, seeing as you’re extremely hot when you’re jealous.” You teased, taking pleasure out of the way his eyes grew wider.

You winked at him before turning and leaving his office, swaying your hips a little more than usual, chuckling when you heard the curse he let out under his breath.

***

It was next shift, and thankfully you hadn’t heard any more from Mason, mainly because you hadn’t called him or been at the firehouse, so you were a little on edge as you turned up this morning. But it was after lunch, now, and you were convinced that he had finally come to his senses and moved on.

You were reading your book, sat at the long table facing the rest of the common room with Matt one chair away, once again sat at the head of the table. You felt his foot tracing patterns on your ankle, and when you looked up from your page and over to him, he was looking through his eyelashes at you as he read over his reports from last shift. He had a devilish smirk on his face, and he knew I was thinking of the other evening, when he pulled me into the showers to fulfil my promise, trailing hot, wet kisses along my jawline, down my neck and over my collarbone, slowly working his way down until he was on his knees in front of me, unbuckling my belt as I stood in a blissful daze, my heart racing and my breathing rapid.

In fact, I could feel it picking up again, and I knew what he was doing. It was unbelievably arousing how the risk of being caught felt, something we discovered after that event in the showers. And now Matt had begun playing a game, and so had I. A squeeze of my ass when I was folding laundry later on that day was what started it, but I got him back when I trailed my fingertips up his thigh at dinner, cupping his clothed member in my hand, which caused him to almost choke on his bite of food.

We were enjoying it, and after talking the other day back at my apartment, he told me how he didn’t mind if the others found out, but at the moment it was still fun sneaking around, which I agreed with.

“Y/L/N?”

Severide’s voice from the door startled me, but I didn’t jump, thank goodness, before I turned to look at him.

“That Mason guy is back again. Want me to kick his ass out?”

You smiled at Kelly, shaking your head gently. “Yes, but politely please, Severide.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

He nodded and left, and you went back to ‘reading your book’. That was until you heard shouts coming from the apparatus floor moments later, followed by the sound of someone bursting through the double doors.

“Hey! You can’t go in there!”

“Y/N?!”

‘Oh, for crying out loud’ You complained internally, rolling your eyes before looking over to the door to see a very frantic Mason.

“There you are, Y/N. That moron was trying to stop me coming inside.”

“Yes, Mason, that’s because I asked him to.” You explained, softly, standing up and circling around the table to stand in front of him. “C’mon, lets go talk out in the corridor so we don’t disturb anyone.”

“No! I want everyone to hear this. Y/N, just give me a chance. I’m a nice guy, I’m funny, I’m smart, I’m good looking. Just say yes, you won’t regret it.”

You had to stop yourself from groaning. This guy was ridiculously desperate, and you couldn’t understand how he didn’t get the message. It was actually starting to annoy you now.

“Mason, I’m sorry, it’s a no, it’s always going to be a no. Now please, leave, before you get dragged out of here.”

“Please, Y/N, just one date, that’s all. I don’t know why you won’t agree to it.” He was walking closer and closer, but you stood your ground, despite the nervousness starting to grow within you.

“Hey! She said no.” Casey said sternly, on the verge of shouting, as he got up from his chair and came to stand beside you, wrapping his arm tightly around your waist and bringing you closer to him. “She’s said it about five times now. You’ve got your answer, now get the hell out of here before I knock your ass out.”

Mason just stood there, dumbfounded, his eyes darting between your face, Casey’s and his arm around you. “oh, man, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise she was…I…I guess I’ll…er…” He stuttered, turning and leaving so fast you were surprised he didn’t leave scorch marks.

You exhaled deeply, scratching your forehead before turning towards Matt.

“You okay?” He asked sincerely, searching your eyes for any unease.

“Yeah, thank you.” You smiled, leaning your head on his shoulder and breathing in his scent to comfort yourself. He brought his other hand around to draw soothing circles on your back, and your heartrate began to slow back down to normal.

And then it dawned on you that you had an audience.

You heard someone clear their throat, so you straightened up slowly, leaving Matt’s embrace almost fully as you look around the room. Brett and Kidd are struggling to stifle a chuckle, Cruz looks like someone’s told him he’s pregnant and Mouch looks more confused than when he was trying to solve that crossword puzzle this morning.

“Did we…er…miss something, or are you guys just putting on a show for that guy?” Herrmann asks, trying to make sense of everything.

You and Casey smile, enjoying the revelation, albeit more prematurely than you both would have preferred.

“No, Hermann, you’ve all just been blind for the past six months.” Casey chuckled.

Herrmann’s eyes almost fell out of their sockets. “Six months?!”

You both burst out into laughter, then you turned to face Matt once again, leaning up to kiss his cheek, which is tugged upwards into a smile.

Then you both went and sat down where you were before, now only closer and with your hands intertwined upon the table, ready to be bombarded with questions from your family, ready to share your love for each other with the world.

[dopemixtape]

What are some of your favorite brettsey moments so far?

I have really enjoyed their entire journey, anon! Slow burn friends to lovers is my jam, and I think the pacing has been really good on the show. (Though I am to the point where I’m yelling KISS ALREADY!)

On the surface this pairing, given their previous relationships, seems messy. I described it to a friend and I said, “I know this sounds a little soap opera-y, but hear me out.” I think it works so well because there was NEVER anything besides friendship between them while they were in other relationships. But after Matt got divorced and Sylvie’s relationship with Kyle fell apart, they gradually grew as friends first. I never even considered them as a ship until Gabby left, but once I considered it and the show started teasing it, I fell hook, line, and sinker. The show has been letting the story unfold organically, I think, and it’s been really fun to watch.

Some of my favorite moments (which are basically ALL of them): 

Sylvie approaching Matt at Molly’s and saying, “We should be dating!” His face was priceless. Loved the game night and how the woman Sylvie attempted to set Matt up with called her out about how perfect she and Matt would be together. Yes, sis. Sing it!

Matt seeking out Sylvie to change his bandage so she wouldn’t yell at him again, when we all know Captain Casey is perfectly capable of doing that himself. Subtle, Captain. The look they exchanged there was amazing!

Matt’s Oh shit! What have I done? face when Kyle proposed to Sylvie at 51. Dumbass! 

Matt’s agonized face and broken I’m sorry to her in the mattress factory fire once he realized she was hurt.

Matt being jealous of Ryan and asking Sylvie about her boyfriend. Then Sylvie snapping back at him. Matt lacks subtlety and I’m so here for it. 

Sylvie being a total badass in the field and awesome with kids. Matt’s eyes go heart-shaped every time he sees her with kids, which is a big neon flashing sign for me. Matt then turning around and using Sylvie’s trick in the field, which lead to him buying her a drink at Molly’s and delivering the best line. “My money is on you finding exactly what you want, because that’s what you deserve.” *chef’s kiss* That is the stuff of shipper dreams right there, you know?

Sylvie seeking Matt out to give him an update on victim, knowing he’d want to know because he’s “a little extra that way.” His answering smile made the angels sing, anon! Matt Casey deserves to smile more and Sylvie Brett makes him smile.

Matt Casey spending his free morning helping Sylvie look for a cat and their talk on the steps. Sylvie being so honest and seeking his opinion about the adoption intermediary contacting her. I loved it! Matt’s not used to his opinion being sought out, so I think he was honored that she trusted him with this. I also loved him telling her that he’s always been impressed by her ability to see the good in people, so if anyone can handle this bombshell, it’s her.

Matt not throwing out the envelope when Sylvie asked him to, and then going back to retrieve it even after she watched him toss it in the trash. Also his surprised face when she looped her arm through his. 

His “oh boy” when she shows up at his place and tells him she changed her mind. “Are you gonna yell at me again?” I loved that whole scene. How he tries to give her some privacy in his own living room, but Sylvie asks him to stay with her while she opens it. That look at the end...we should have had a hug there, but I digress.

How about the worried looks on Sylvie’s face while Matt was trapped behind that wall of fire before Severide and Cruz could shut it down? And then Matt immediately looking at her once he was safe? That’s a thing that just friends do, right? SURE JAN! 

Speaking of looks exchanged during harrowing situations, how about that very pointed one before Matt and Severide rush into that basement apartment? YOU BOTH FAIL AT SUBTLETY!

Matt driving Sylvie to Rockford, even though he knows she can handle it on her own. Being utterly charmed by her Disney Princess story. The worried face he gave her after Scott sent her away.

Matt seeking out Sylvie to talk after he called Severide off the search, telling her he’s having trouble shaking it. Her “talk to me” was perfect and I love that he opened up. Also showing him her baby picture and Matt saying, “Now that’s pretty cute.” kbye!

Matt meeting Julie at Molly’s, then he and Sylvie acting like a married couple springing into action. *tosses keys* “My car’s parked out front.” His FACE when Sylvie feels the baby kicking and he sees her bright smile. THAT’S LOVE, BITCH! Then Julie asking how long they’ve been dating. Bless Sylvie’s heart that she gets all flustered. Julie sees right through you, lady! 

Sylvie calling Matt while she’s worried about Julie, and how quickly he rushes to get to the hospital. 

Sylvie breaking down in his quarters and Matt comforting her. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve watched this scene. AN UNHEALTHY amount, anon, okay? The way he touches her hair? Light me on fire! I love the way he touches her hair. “Whatever you decide I’m here. Okay?” 

Walking down the aisle together at Cruz’s wedding and THEN sharing looks during the vows. This ship is SO CLOSE to setting sail. I can feel it! I’m bummed that it likely isn’t going to happen this season thanks to RONA cutting the season short. But it is what it is.

This got out of hand and ended up being longer than I expected. But I love them, your honor! I live for this ship! 

[chockfullofsecrets]

Critical Role: One Minute

(Read on AO3)

Rating: Gen

Summary: The third time that Jester’s Wand of Smiles fails on Caleb, she gives up on any pretense and just whines. “Cay-leb!” Jester is determined to see Caleb smile. Molly has an idea.

Wordcount: 2018

A/N: Hi, it’s been a while! I have a graduate degree and a new fandom and no idea how I got here... there’s a lot of stuff I need to clean out of my inbox/drafts, but I hope you’re all doing well!

The third time that Jester’s Wand of Smiles fails on Caleb, she gives up on any pretense and just whines. “Cay-leb!”

“Ja?” he replies, not even looking up from his book. He looks comfy, legs stretched out on his bed. Molly can’t help but snort at how unruffled he sounds - when plied with literature or magic, their wizard can ignore almost anything.

Which is good, because he’s been in a room with Jester and Molly as they make their way through Tusk Love for nearly two hours now. Jester insists on reading the novel out loud, voices and all, determined for Molly to enjoy the racy scenes along with her despite his own lack of reading ability. Unfortunately, her favor’s gotten them rousted from their own territory - Fjord is in their shared room, sharpening his falchion (and Molly’s scimitars, upon receiving a solemn promise that Molly will never tell him a single detail of the plot), and across the hall Beau and Nott are napping off the last of their celebratory hangovers, Beau grumpier than usual after Yasha disappeared again last night. In a begrudging concession to their team of boring people, the two of them have ended up cuddling on the spare bed in Caleb’s room, cackling over every other page as the writing reaches increasingly lurid and inept new heights. Emboldened by Caleb’s inattention to their antics, Jester appears to have taken on the additional goal of catching Caleb off guard with her smiling spell.

It’s not going well, but Molly is more than content to sit back and watch her try.

“Why doesn’t it work on you?” Jester demands. “Did you do something to it before you gave it to me?”

“Of course not,” Caleb says mildly, still fixed on his reading. Then he keeps going, because stoic as the man is he seems to have an innate talent for winding Jester up. “Although why would I tell you if I did?”

At Jester’s barely muffled scream of failed pranking frustration, he finally turns to look at them. “That was a joke. It’s not such a hard thing to resist, Jester.”

“Then stop resisting! I just want to see you smile one time! Just for one minute!” She’s serious in her demands, if not outright upset - Molly can feel her tail lashing around behind his back. “You don’t have to be embarrassed or anything if your teeth are dirty, you know, it’s just me and Molly and we won’t tell anyone!”

Caleb frowns a little. “You are oddly invested in this.”

“I’ve been trying so hard!” Jester cries, jabbing a finger in his direction. “For a whole hour! What if smiling will actually kill you, but we don’t know, and then we’re fighting someone, and they have a wand like mine or Nott’s laughter spell or maybe they just tell really good jokes and then you die? We have to know these things!”

Molly is appropriately amused by her rambling. Caleb just looks concerned. “Was - Jester, is this something you’re actually worried about?”

“Well, I am now,” Jester grumps. It’s endearing how much she cares about the group, even when her caring is intense and a little embarrassing and almost entirely nonsensical. Cuddled up against him as she is, Jester can feel him laughing and turns to pout at him instead. He pouts back and ruffles her hair, tugging lightly at one of her horns - he knows from experience that it feels a little weird and a little nice, and sure enough it’s not more than a couple seconds before she can’t keep a straight face anymore.

Which, now that he thinks of it...

Molly thinks it through like he does most things: not at all. Then he gets up with one last pat to Jester’s cheek, stalks across to Caleb’s bed, and shoves his legs over until there’s enough room for him to perch on the edge and get decidedly into Caleb’s personal space.

Caleb doesn’t hold his book up like a shield, but Molly suspects it’s only because he values the paper more than his own flesh. “Ah… Mr. Mollymauk?”

“Mr. Caleb,” Molly purrs. Gets an inch closer. “I have a question for you.”

Caleb’s eyes very pointedly fail to meet his. “... You could not have asked this question from back over there?”

“Nope, this is part of the plan.”

“And what,” Caleb asks, slow and steely, “are you planning?”

Molly sees his fingers twitch towards the Message wire wrapped around his wrist. “Nothing bad,” he soothes. Waits until the furrow in Caleb’s brow smooths out a little, and then springs his trap.

“Are you ticklish?”

Molly has determined from observation and a little practical experimentation that Caleb has two reactions when someone who isn’t Nott invades his personal space. The first is the stoic look of someone who figures they’re about to get a beating and is somewhat resigned to the fact. The second, infinitely more interesting, is the red-faced fluster of enjoying oneself despite oneself’s very best efforts.

He watches the red gather on Caleb’s cheeks and feels a thrill that runs all the way down his spine to a last sharp flick of his tail, chases it by leaning in just a bit closer and reaching out to play with the edges of Caleb’s coat.

“Ah,” Caleb stutters. “No?”

The blush intensifies, and Molly chuckles mock-ruefully. “Was that a yes? Jester, did you hear a yes?”

“Yes,” Jester practically shouts. “Get him, Molly!”

The coat doesn’t have any buttons, expected given its wear, but there are buttonholes and Molly loops his finger through one of them as he withdraws a little to catch Caleb’s eye. “I’ll be nice; I know we’re interrupting your reading. One minute.”

“One minute?”

He taps Caleb on the forehead. “You can keep track of time, right?”

Caleb is clearly playing catch-up. He nods jerkily. “Ah, Ja.”

“Great,” he says cheerfully. “One minute, count it out, let me know when to stop.”

“Wait, when to stop what-” And then Molly shoves his hands into Caleb’s coat and pokes a finger into each of his skinny sides and starts tickling. Caleb’s stutters morph into these little noises of protest that slip out every time Molly’s fingers so much as twitch, climbing rapidly higher-pitched and more giggly as the attack continues.

Molly offhandedly tells him exactly how cute those little noises are and earns himself even more of the same, along with a breathless little “Scheiße!” that delights him even further. Feet digging into the bed for purchase, Caleb twists away to the right, flopping sideways onto the mattress and jamming his arms against his torso to keep Molly’s hands from advancing further.

Molly chases him down, propping himself up with a knee so he can loom properly to watch his prey squirm. “Hiding in your coat?” he teases. He can barely see the red of Caleb’s cheeks above the upturned collar. “Maybe I’ll have to get you out of it. Tickle tickle!”

“N-nein!” Caleb squeaks and tries to duck his head even further. Eager to reap the fruits of his labor, Molly sacrifices one implement of torture to reach out and tug the collar down.

Caleb is - not laughing, really, he’s still doing a pretty impressive job of keeping it together and it’s a little offensive, but his face is scrunched up in the most enormous grin behind a curtain of lank hair and Molly feels his lips curling to match. “Alright, Jester,” he calls over his shoulder. “I’m pretty sure we can establish that smiling doesn’t kill him.”

“Wait! I want to see!” Hearing the scrambling noises of an approaching Jester, Caleb makes a sound like he’s dying and presses his hands over his face. Molly tuts disapprovingly and, taking advantage of Caleb’s torso being newly unprotected, proceeds to force his way under Caleb’s book holsters to pinch at the tops of his ribcage.

This, finally, gets Caleb to crack. “Ahaha-HA! Molly! Bit-bitte-!” He wheezes between peals of husky laughter, curling in even tighter on himself and swatting ineffectually at his coat as he tries to dislodge Molly’s hands through layers of cloth and leather.

Jester pops up behind him, squealing in delight as Caleb succumbs to mirth. “Aw, Caleb, you have such a pretty smile!” She reaches out to tilt his face at some predetermined angle, then giggles mischievously and tickles him under his chin to make him scrunch up all over again. “There, perfect! Now that I know what you look like when you’re smiling, I can draw it later!”

“You want to help?” Molly offers. “Honestly, I think he’s just getting more ticklish the longer this goes and I’m kind of curious to see how that’s going to end up.”

He stops tickling for the moment, giving Caleb a breather in case Jester does decide to jump in. Caleb takes this gracious opportunity to bury his face in the mattress and makes a tired little noise, now flushed bright red to the tips of his ears. He’s curled around Molly’s planted knee like a cat, and Molly can feel the press of his chest against his calf as Caleb catches his breath.

“We could do that,” Jester muses, hooking her chin over his shoulder. “Orrrr… Caleb can come read Tusk Love with us!”

Caleb goes still for a second. Molly’s honestly not sure if he’s breathing. Finally, he turns his head, one shining blue eye visible in the shadow of his face. “Those are the only two choices?” he asks, deadpan. “There can be no negotiations?”

“Nope!” Jester replies cheerfully.

Caleb sighs heavily. “Fine, I will read your smut with you.”

Jester cheers and flounces away, kneeling to drag the book out from where she chucked it under the bed in her excited dash. “Good choice! I am so good at tickling and you are very squishy, so you would die, probably.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, our cleric.” Molly tugs himself free of the holsters, waits for Caleb to uncurl and roll onto his back and start to sit up.

Then, sword-slash quick, he pins Caleb at the waist with both hands and leans over to speak lowly in his ear. “You didn’t tell me to stop.”

Caleb’s ear hits him in the side of the face - obviously, he doesn’t startle well. “What?”

“I told you to let me know when the minute was up.” He rubs a thumb gently over Caleb’s side, relishing in the flinch and startled huff of breath. “So.” Presses lightly, rolling on the ball of his thumb until Caleb can’t help but giggle. “Either that was a very long minute, or I’m going to have to start doing this more often.”

Caleb’s face is too blurred to make out, this close, but red is never that hard to see. “I… I forgot,” he blurts, a little too loud.

“You? Forgot?” Molly laughs despite himself, then straightens a little and plants a kiss on Caleb’s forehead just because the poor thing is pinned and he can. “Oh, dear.”

“What did you forget?” Jester interrupts, clearing her throat noisily. “That you two are supposed to be reading with me, and not whispering in each other’s ears?” She pauses. “Or you could keep going, I guess, but then you should probably tell me to leave if you’re going to -” She clicks her tongue suggestively.

Caleb sits up so fast that he knocks Molly over, then stumbles to his feet for good measure. “Nein! Jester, we aren’t going to - we’re not - you are reading too much smut.”

She shrugs, unashamed and grinning a very, very wide grin. Molly suffers no illusions that his face doesn’t look exactly the same. “And plenty of watching my mamma work before that! Now come read! Maybe it will give you i-de-as!” She sing-songs the last word, and Caleb looks about ready to fall right back down.

Molly gets up, clapping a hand on Caleb’s shoulder to keep him upright. “Well, can’t argue with that,” he says, and walks the both of them over.

Although, he thinks, looking over at Caleb, he’s got plenty of ideas already.

[solvskrift]

your take on Dumbledore / Harry was super interesting bc I've definitely subscribed to the manipulative Dumbledore view. but I'm rereading the series now and the Dumbledore/Harry conversation at the end after Sirius's death really got me. (fun fact, I'm taking a break after ootp since your story picks up at the beginning of HBP). anyways, what are your thoughts on Harry Sirius relationship? I've never been super find of it in fanon but dig the canon, even with all of the downsides of Sirius(1/2)

treating harry too much like James. (incidentally I am on Molly's side of all the arguments between her and Sirius in ootp). just wondering since so many people see him and remus as their fav father figures for harry (2/2)

That’s really interesting that you like canon Sirius more than fanon Sirius! It seems that most people are the opposite. I really, really liked Sirius in Goblet of Fire, but his behavior in Order of the Phoenix bothered me lot, just like it bothered Harry. Not to say he didn’t have reasons for acting and feeling the way he did. He absolutely had them. He’d just spent twelve years an Azkaban, he hadn’t had any chance to really process James and Lily’s deaths and Peter’s betrayal, and he had been out of the loop so long he didn’t really fully know Harry (or Remus anymore, to be honest) as a person. He was trapped in a house he’d been abused in with no chance of freedom in sight. He was lonely and depressed and drowning in trauma, and I feel so, so sad for him. But the way a lot of that manifested was treating Harry more as a friend than as a son, even speaking to him bitterly or dismissively sometimes (”You’re less like James than I thought”) and whether it’s fair or not, that put me off.

Sirius and Harry had so much potential, and there were definitely times Sirius acted very much like a father. He meant so much to Harry. Sirius encouraged Harry and protected him and warned him to stay out of trouble. He wrote Harry letters and gave him gifts at Christmas and was always willing to rush to Harry’s side if he needed him. He just had a lot of flaws, too, which made him a very interesting character but perhaps not the most stable person for Harry to look to as a stable father figure. Ultimately, Sirius was so bitter and reckless (and prone to drinking, as Harry notices) that Harry felt the need to take it upon himself to protect Sirius instead of the other way round, and we all know how that ended up.

(Incidentally, I also side mostly with Molly in the OotP fight. She did get in some low blows, but overall she really did have Harry’s best interests at heart, and I think that made Sirius feel very territorial - which is understandable but also highly hypocritical of him since the Weasleys are to Harry what James’s parents were to him when he was Harry’s age.)

I wish Harry and Sirius had had more time and better circumstances, but they didn’t, and that’s the whole tragedy of it.

[movedaccounts-readinfo]

Erik has nightmares often. He won’t speak about them though. He refuses to speak about them and will go silent until the person changes the subject.

He was in preschool and the nap time was a disaster for him. He often didn’t sleep during that. His nightmares would come then.

Though finally he spoke about them. After a year of having them. 

He was sent to the school therapist after he started having them in the middle of the day.

“Erik, you don’t have to tell me everything, but please do tell me what the general idea of them are. I want to know how to help you.” The young lady spoke as Erik played with a toy that Dean created. It was the mechanics of a gun but not in the shape. It was to help get familiar with how to take apart a gun. The teachers just thought it was a simple wooden toy.

Silence.

“Erik, I can’t let you leave until you tell me something. This does mean that I will keep you after school if needed.” She spoke again.

“A man and his friends come to visit me. Can I leave now?” Erik asked as he didn’t look up. The lady got concerned.

“Erik, I need to know more. Who is this man?Who are his friends? Do your parents know about him?” She spoke again as this could be a threat against the child.

“They all have different names. The main man is named Azazel. He has yellow eyes. His friends are Lilith and Alastair. They have white eyes. That’s all I’m sharing. Let me go back to class.” Erik said as he looked up at her for the first time, his eyes serious and threatening.

“Okay, you are free to go.” She said quickly as that was creepy.

--

Max sighed as he picked up his phone.

“Hello this is Max Winchester how may I help you?”

“Hi, this is the therapist from the school. My name is Molly. I just wanted to call you regarding your son Erik.” Max frowned as he listened to her. He went up to the main area and put her on speaker.

“Okay, you are on speaker with the household that takes care of him. We all like to stay in the loop.” Max said as Cas, Dean, and Sam just stayed quiet and listened.

“Well today Erik got sent to me today as he started fighting the air in the middle of class. When he was asked what happened, he just said ‘I’m fine’. He was sent to me and we spent an hour just sitting in silence. Finally he talked though. He explained how a man and his friends visit him. He said that the main man is named Azazel and has yellow eyes. Then his friends are Lilith and Alastair and they have white eyes. I just wanted to inform you of that and suggest that you talk to him about it or see if he has a mental disorder that is causing him to see these people.” Molly spoke and everyone was shocked.

“Um. Thank you, yeah we will talk about it and look into those options, thank you.” Max quickly said and hung up.

“How the fuck, they are all dead!” Dean said quickly.

“Remember Chuck said it was The End when he brought a bunch of monsters to life. He probably brought them back as well. We don’t know since we trapped him though. Maybe Amara might know. Jack might be able to help, being god an all.” Sam spoke as Max just paced around.

THey were going to make sure that those bastards never touched their kid.

[cupidmarwani-archive]

Their First Night

Summary: Ethan and April invite Crockett home for a night. (Smut)

WC: ~2k

Warnings: It’s literally just porn.

For as much as the three of them have been dancing around each other, Crockett never really expected to get this far. The kiss he shared with April, he considered a stroke of luck which would never be repeated. The drink he had at Molly’s with Ethan, he thought a fluke despite the hand that rested just too high on his thigh to really be friendly. The way they both looked at him every day, he figured he must have been imagining because good things rarely happen to him, if ever.

But somehow, he’s here in their bed, April kissing him like he had wanted all those weeks ago, Ethan’s mouth leaving little marks inside his thighs to remember them by later. He must be dreaming, and he never wants to wake up, trapped in the feel of smooth skin under his palms when April guides his hand to her chest. Silently telling him that it’s okay to touch. She wants him to. At the exact moment he decides to map out the feel of her breasts, Ethan’s mouth finds his balls. He forgets how to breathe.

“You good?” April asks.

The way the light filters past her silhouette, some of it bouncing off her curls, reminds Crockett of a halo. He nods and runs his fingers through it, so soft. Ethan has decided to put his mouth to use in a sloppy, if enthusiastic, blowjob. It’s clearly not something he’s really done before, but he’s trying, and Crockett loves the way Ethan leans his cheek against the inside of his thigh when he takes a few deep breaths.

“Can Ethan fuck you?” She asks.

It’s something Crockett’s had a fair share of wet dreams about. He’s still unable to really form words and nods again, even with the question of where that leaves her. It’s not a question for long. The second Ethan’s mouth pulls away for good and the click of a cap sounds out of Crockett’s line of sight, April’s planting her knees on the bed and crawling forward to brace them on either side of his head. Jesus. Crockett has died and gone to heaven.

“Yes,” he says, before she can ask.

She lowers herself down when Ethan presses two slick fingers against his hole, just a little pressure to get him to start to relax and make the muscles in his abdomen jump. April’s warm and wet to the touch, and when he dares to open his mouth, she sighs above him and threads a hand through his hair. Pull it, he wants to say, but his mouth has better things to do.

This must be an out of body experience, because he stops existing within himself. All he is, all he’s worth, is the body between Ethan and April, drawing out their pleasure and moaning against April’s pussy when Ethan gets up to three fingers and scissors them to make sure he’s ready. He’s more efficient with this than blowjobs, making Crockett’s brain idly file away a question of if Ethan has fucked April like this. If she had asked, maybe because she wanted to know how it felt to have him inside her and something else, because she wanted Crockett’s touch as well. His mind gets away from him sometimes, but is reined back in by a sudden emptiness, followed by the blunt head of Ethan’s cock against his hole and April’s insistent tug on his hair.

He loops his arms over her thighs to pull her closer, adjusting her so he can press his tongue into her cunt properly and when she shifts, it allows her clit to grind against his nose. He can’t do this forever without taking a breath, but he’d gladly suffocate like this if it means he gets to live in whatever dream surrounds him.

Ethan’s moans are deeper than Crockett thought they would be, closer to a growl as he pushes into Crockett’s hole and holds his hips with a bruising force. God, he can’t wait to see the marks this leaves come morning.

“Ethan feels good, doesn’t he?” April asks above him, pulling at his hair again to get his attention. “Makes you feel so full.”

Whining, he nods to the best of his ability. Words aren’t something he can summon. Not now, maybe not ever again.

A firm hand, slightly calloused and delightfully warm, pushes one of Crockett’s legs up so Ethan can fuck him deeper. His eyes roll back in his head. There’s nothing beyond the two of them, nothing beyond completely surrendering to the most beautiful people he’s ever seen and knowing that they’ve been thinking about him too, craving him. His pining has not been unrequited.

By now, Crockett is drowning in their gentle touches, in their affection, in their increasingly frantic pursuits of their own pleasure. He has to lift April off his face for a moment to take a few ragged deep breaths, reveling in her whine at the lack of stimulation.

“Sorry, ma belle,” he mumbles, and returns to letting her use his face to get off. She’s dripping. He’d gladly drown in it.

Ethan’s moans get kind of muffled as April’s praises trail off, replaced by a soft sound that tells him they’re kissing above him. He wants to be kissed like that. To recapture their attention, he whines against April’s pussy and she laughs.

“Poor baby,” she teases, but her voice is breathless and he can almost taste how close she is to coming all over him. “Don’t worry, we’ll kiss you plenty when I’m finished with your mouth.”

He doubles down on his efforts, rewarded by Ethan not only fucking him harder, but curling a rough palm around his cock and giving him some much needed friction. Every nerve is alight with fire. Dying of it. He bucks his hips to try and get more, only for them to be pinned easily by Ethan. If he could see, he’d be staring at the rippling muscles he’s dreamed of putting his lips on since the moment he was transferred to the day shift.

“Fuck, don’t stop- Kett-” April cries out and pulls his hair hard enough to hurt, hips jerking in an off-beat rhythm as she rides out her orgasm. One he gave to her. He made her feel like this. He keeps fucking her on her tongue, tasting every drop of her and humming for added vibrations until she sighs and pulls away. He misses her weight immediately. “You’re good at that,” she laughs, coming to lay beside him and stroke his sides. He’s twitchy. She smiles about it. “Ethan?”

Like he was waiting for her permission, Ethan leans over Crockett’s body, propping himself up on his forearms, and kisses him like he’s chasing April’s taste in his mouth. It’s not surprising. She’s sweet like nectar, and it’s a brilliant combination with Ethan’s hungry kisses. Insistent. Driven, just as his sharp thrusts are when he adjusts his angle until it hits just perfectly and makes Crockett cry out.

Then there’s a moment that Ethan goes stiff and whines against his mouth. Crockett looks at him, really looks at him, then- the way his brow furrows, mouth open, stricken silent. He hasn’t come, though, so Crockett looks to April for guidance, realizing she’s moved. Now, she’s instead behind Ethan, and it’s not difficult to guess what she’s doing.

“Shh,” she soothes, kissing the back of Ethan’s neck. “Relax, babe. Just like we practiced, yeah?”

“Practiced?” Crockett repeats, while he still has the breath in his lungs before Ethan adjusts and starts moving again. “Do that for me?”

Ethan nods, suddenly almost shy, and kisses just to the side of his mouth. “Wanted- wanted to-”

“He wanted to be able to take it when you fuck him,” April fills in. “Think you’d like that, Kett?”

While he doesn’t quite understand where the shortening of his name came from, it makes him feel so cared for in a way he can’t explain as he nods. This is everything he’s ever wanted. It’s his life and death. Ethan has moved onto leaving hickeys down his neck while he fucks him, a little less aggressively than before, navigating the feeling of being both penetrated and fucking someone else at the same time.

“You know, he melts when he gets fucked properly,” April says conversationally. Crockett watches her arm moving, just visible beside Ethan’s muscular torso. “Completely relaxed. He gets all sweet about it, too. He won’t admit it, but,” she pauses to kiss Ethan’s shoulder, “he just wants to be told he’s a good boy.”

“That so, Ethan?” Crockett gets out. It’s easier to talk when he’s guided, and Ethan’s rhythm is faltering fast. It still feels good, but it’s a little clumsier now. It lacks the single-minded determination that had made each thrust so punishing mere minutes ago. “You know you are, by the way. So good to me, and to Miss April. I bet you tire her out good.”

He feels it the moment his words register with Ethan’s mind, because the stuttering movement of his hips turns to pressing as far into Crockett as he can manage, gasping against Crockett’s neck and twitching inside him as he comes. It’s been too long since someone came inside, he decides. The feeling of warmth, wetness spilling in him is a feeling that cannot be compared to any other. Ethan’s body is practically shaking with it, and he inhales sharply with a movement that Crockett can only assume is April pulling out of him. Her hand is slick with lube, burning hot when she touches him with a firm grip.

“Wanna give it to him?” she asks. Her voice is liquid honey, and with her free hand, she’s touching herself again. Wet fingers, he knows would taste perfect pressed against his tongue. “Fuck him, show him how good you can make him feel.” She kisses him as encouragement when he gets his hands on Ethan’s hips and plants his feet flat on the mattress. Not an ideal position, but he recognizes the fragility of the trust currently placed in his hands. Ethan’s slow when he moves now, breathes like all the air has been punched out of his chest as he slowly takes Crockett’s cock. He’s vice-tight, unbelievably warm and wet inside. This is unbelievably good. He’s so scared that in a moment, he’ll blink and it will all be gone. “Well?” April prompts.

“Shit.”

She laughs and kisses him again, a connection to tether him to reality as he focuses on fucking Ethan through his overstimulated little whimpers in chase of his own orgasm. He’s the only one who hasn’t come yet, but if it means he gets to keep feeling like this, he’d gladly wait forever.

April lifts the hand that was between her legs to his lips for him to taste again, replaces it with his own against her silky cunt, quickly finding the same rhythm of earlier that he knows she likes. But this time, he comes before she does, inside Ethan to the symphony of his moans, and once Ethan pulls off him, he simply wraps an arm around Crockett’s waist and kisses his neck lazily until April finishes again.

They’re all out of breath, the scent of sex in the air, and Crockett revels in the seconds of kisses before he has to get up and leave, move on with his life like this never happened in the first place. He’ll have to live knowing that he’s felt them, tasted them, but it has ended so quickly.

He sits up and runs a hand through his hair, licks his lips for the remnants of what he had used them for. It’s over.

“Hey,” April says softly, reaching up to cup his face. “Where are you going?”

Crockett looks at the space between them on the bed. Just his size. “I thought…”

“Stay,” Ethan interjects.

Ethan sits up beside him and kisses him again, but it’s more tender this time. Not as urgent. Instead, this kiss is lazy and drawn out, a Sunday afternoon poured into the meeting of their lips while April still holds his face steady, strokes his cheek.

Slowly, he lays back down, and falls asleep in their hold.