#not like i wanna die or whatever bc i dont. i just. keep losing things.

[so-very-small]

do you ever think about how small a grave for a tiny would be? how quick the grass would grow back over the tiny plot, almost like it was never there at all. how with each visit, it gets harder and harder for the giant to find the exact spot. there’s a grave marker, but it was built by giant hands, so the grave marker is so big, while that tiny specific few inches of earth is so, so small.

[29121996]

.

[vanyafresita]

my si-5 designs ! maybe i draw later the hephaestus crew too...

anyways after making this to have as a reference for whenever i want to draw them, imma yap here under the read more all i want about my headcanons for them (cracks fingers)

alana maxwell is very saeyoung from mystic messenger coded, thats why i gave her the dr pepper can lmfao

also she is literally aroace i wont take criticism for this one

to me she's transfem too, but i only like to think about that if jacobi is ALSO trans bcs i love me a t4t queerplatonic relationship

she forgets to eat often so shes a lil underweight- but its okay kepler and jacobi will make sure she doesnt actually faint from hunger

she is also taller than jacobi i tihnk she would b like... 176cm or so... jacobi is like 170cm and kepler is around 185cm

she also doesnt have a lot of scars on her body since she gets protected when working on a laptop by the other two during ops (or she is working as a sniper, and thus she isnt a direct target most of the time)

unlike kepler who prefers hand to hand combat, or jacobi who joins him and also messes around with chemicals and explosives often

absolutely random thought, but alana is canadian to me ! warren is american and jacobi is chilean (i am latino, me reservo el derecho de latinificar a un personaje por cada obsesión que tenga xoxoxo)

jacobi wears a hearing aid on his right ear too btw !! an accident with a small explosive left the right side of his face and his ear damaged !

jacobi paints his nails too (he actually doesnt, its alana the one who does, jacobi has a terrible case of shaky hands)

both maxwell and jacobi wear glasses, but while maxwell uses them 24/7, jacobi just.... does not care. they keep getting broken one way or another so he doesnt bother... he can see from up close, so who cares ! (at some point tho, he get convinced to get eye surgery, so he obliges)

okay switching to kepler's sexuality... he is aro and very horny for jacobi we all know this like. its very obvious i fear.... like... yeah

jacobi is bi... i feel like he had a crush on alana at first, but the closer he got to her something changed and, believe me, he does love her A LOT (probably more than kepler) just not in a romantic way !! ergo: qpps

and because jacobi is a masochistic idiot of course he fell in love with his evil boss CMON MAN GET BETTER TASTE <- alana to daniel

kepler probably doesnt date tho, most likely he doesnt feel like it would mean much making official any type of relationship they have (aka 'we fuck sometimes, i try my best to be considerate of ur feelings, i dont feel jealousy seeing you being close with maxwell, and i wanna keep her close too'), while jacobi is like. biting his nails trying not to die from love but he knows dating ur boss is not a good path to go down (its already bad they are fucking behind everybody's back- except alana, he cannot keep secrets from alana)

i think the relationship these three have (at least in my head idc about yall's opinions LMAO) is absolutely insane and it makes me act like a rabid dog, i lose all coherence trying to explain how they make me feel

they are all in love with each other, just in very wildly different ways

i love thinking about jacobi and maxwell's closeness, how they care for each other, the vulnerability, the love, the devotion, how open they are and how little they care about how others perceive them

i love thinking about kepler actually trying to make an effort to be romantic, getting it wrong often, and then having to deal with jacobi being passive aggressive; WARREN JUST TELL HIM U DONT GET ROMANTIC LOVE, YOU JUST LIKE HIM AND WANNA MAYBE DATE AND DEFINITELY BANG, DONT BE STUPID

i love...... whatever the fuck kepler and maxwell have going on... not romantic or platonic, but a secret third thing.... the mutual respect and admiration, the overprotection feeling.....

jacobi is sooooo glad his two most favourite people in the world get on well, he'd die if kepler and maxwell weren't on good terms... but thank god all three of them are fucked up and obsessed, and insane and love each other

they all love to banter, they would kill each other, they would kill for the others, they cant stand to be near, they would die if they are apart, they need to be so close together you cant tell apart where one ends and the other stars

as a side note of my designs, i wanna comment how confused i was when i finished the podcast, checked the art tag, and saw most people draw warren kepler as a white man, like i got jumpscared ngl IM SORRYYYY

listen when i heard his honey voice... that cadence... he gave me this very clear image of distinguished bald tall black man, the image went straight to my brain and i have not been able to imagine him otherwise

and i keep seeing him drawn white and blond and with blue eyes and i feel SO SCARED like i have nothing against those designs but its so confusing because to me he is that type of attractive motherfucker that charms everybody around with a smile, that make people trust him blindly from how confident his posture and personality is... and to me (poc person) a white blond blue-eyed man does NOT inspire me trust lmfaoooo so i guess i may be biased ?

anyways i know warren kepler is a divisive character !!! he is so fucked up and complex and hot HE IS MY EVERYTHING im gonna throw up /pos im so obsessed with him... you evil bastard... youre my babygirl, ure so important to me, your war crimes and horrible morality is charming to me <3 i dont wanna fix him i wanna observe how he makes other people WORST (thinks 24/7 about the implication that he disciplines jacobi and maxwell in very creative ways)

okay anyways IM DONEEEE SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT I DONT CARE ITS MY BLOG AND MY HEADCANONS AND ITS ALL UNDER A READ MORE SO I CAN YAP TO THE NOTHINGNESS AS MUCH AS I WANT OK BYEEE

[earlysunshines]

hai hai hai!!!!

5, 6, 11, and 29 pls pls pls

HI hyunie 😁😁

5. what made you start your blog?

- basically i sent an ask to @soliarus ab a kindergarten sana series and BTW THEY FINSIHED IT AND ITS MY FAV THING EVERRR and then yeah i realized that hey maybe i should start writing despite not rly being a writer, but i imagine a lot of things and its hard to keep that in my head!! so i put it into words and ppl liked it!! so here i am :-)

but yeah starting my blog has made me a bit conflicted w my skills but i’ve met sooo many nice ppl on here and gained lots of love and i appreciate it and don’t regret this at all!!!

so basically yeah i just realized that hey i don’t have to send asks i can literally just… write the story…

6. what's the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

i like being able to connect w ppl and even if we don’t talk anymore or things die down or lose connection completely i never regret any of it. i love talking to ppl on here and seeing reblogs w funny little captions or ppls thoughts lol

worst thing is ummm i get harsh on myself when certain things get less notes and idk i feel like i need to get better constantly but it’s whatever i feel like that with a looooytt of things LOL at the end of the day it’s seriosuly whatever

11. what do you consider to be romance?

i can’t put it into words well but i’ll try to

i think romance is simply having someone that you can be very intimate with and you’re willing to put up a lot and give them your all, that is what i felt at least with the ppl i’ve loved romantically

when i think of romantically i just think of someone u can kiss and be rly rly like idk in love with?? like u can kiss and fuck and whatnot but that’s the only difference between a friend that u love a lot i think the line btwn platonic and romantic is like u can kiss them on the lips and fuck and be physically affectionate but your heart does flips instead of feeling normal

this is why i love friends to lovers bc someone already knows you and loves you as YOU and then they start to like u romantically like they wanna make u letters and kiss u and hold your hand and love u and just ugghhh i loveeee

29. what do you do when you're sad?

depends on why but i think i deal w my emotions rly badly like ill kinda grab notes app and isolate myself for a bit until i forget ab it or push it to the side if i dont rly wanna deal w it and then im normal again LOL

and if it’s pretty bad i guess i’ll cry and get over it but i don’t cry too often so

idk i just😭😭hate feeling sad it’s embarassing for me i can’t😭😭yuck vulnerability!!

[maschotch]

[apeshit]

let me explain

[kidfoundonstreets]

last post hghhjknklnwi

istg if noel isnt found soon im gonna lose it you know what claire should do? she should get the key from sirius’s pocket and use it to open the locked door a bunch of demons just surrounded claire and made fun of her...........wack it was kinda funny tho ngl charlotte also messed around with claire, bringing up suspicions about basically everybody which honestly just lessens my suspicion about everybody if theyre putting it out there still nervous abt it tho i dont think noel did it it could just be possible his death was caused by none of the above WILARDOS POV WOOOOOOOO1!! hes been calm abt this entire thing but agh king moment 

welp im sad now so theyre all related,, and particia was basically claire’s best friend but she disappeared since claire let her into an area in grandma (dorothy’s???) house did claire step into the same room as patricia did and disappear as well. i think that can explain the memory loss if she was found by grandma something i find depressing is how the whole room is wiped except the place where the diary was. sirius hasn’t touched it in a while claire after looking at the diary still doesnt seem to remember but im happy she acknowledges it might be real THE WAY ASHE’S NERVOUS CAN I HUG HIM I FEEL RLLY BAD HE SEEMS TO CARE ABT FAMILY A LOT i really really hope we get tdoom bc he cant give an explanation why is he here?? literally what does he know he’s so sus and for what. i trust him but whats so bad that he lied about it picks ashe for who i think did it: picks ashe for who i trust most (relaistically its probably noel but idk):  mixed signals but whatever i just hope it doesnt affect anything if noel did kill sirius which i doubt he did at all and its bc of miss dorothy killing his father,, i dont think noel killed a person but i dont think he’s completely excluded from anything since his dad was brought up

aww the little skrnbunklies!!!

oh theyre kinda fucked up actually its cruel to blame claire or dumb her down to stupid for this but they are demons literally what was claire supposed to do though??

OKAY NEVERMIND EVERYTHINGS OK NOW IM HANGING THIS UP IN A GALLERY PLEASEPLEASE BE SAFE ASHE IVE GOTTEN WAY TOO ATTACHED TO YOU AND YOUR VERY SUBTLE SUSPICIOUS ACTIONS “as a member of the scp” ashe is an scp!!!! noel if hes trapping himself in his room i dont know how he’s gonna get water or food without someone bringing it to him or sneaking out,,

HGGGGGGGGG I HATE THIS GAME I DONT WANNA SUSPECT ANYONE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I FEEL LIKE ITS GONNA FORCE ME the way noel knows that. hand over ur brain rn i want to see it. the “i dont want you to die” was so painfully sweet and that also makes me sad i dont want noel to die either but if he says so it’s probably going to happen i can suspect wilardo but i think he’s just like this i can suspect ashe I DO SUSPECT ASHE but the stuff he’s revealed to claire so far it just doesn’t feel like it i can suspect noel but hsfkhiuwqhe2189e4h21ueh221j dying dying dying i dont even get it either we don’t even have a proper explanation on how sirius exactly died day 5,,,, “if only i were smarter” CLAIRE HONEY NO ITS OKAY YOURE TRYING YOUR BEST well ashe a re you hiding something????? demons keep appearing more often just to say random words that bring people down. is it the ones who died in the massacre ??

[julethiefs]

carmen sandiego as the jatp soundtrack

actually yes i am going to combine my two favorite tv shows and you can’t stop me <33

now or never

“clocks move forward // but we don't get older, no”

“keep dreaming like we’re living forever // but live it like it’s now or never”

“and even if we hit the ground, we’ll keep flying”

this song just ??? *screams* carmen right after she escaped vile... her being so excited to explore the world and not caring about falling down and her enthusiasm to stop vile without really knowing what they’re like yet... yeah 

wake up

“get out, get out, relight that spark”

“its not what you lost, its what you’ll gain”

“better wake those demons, look them in the eye”

this song has such jules vibes (jules is definitely julie in this hypothetical au... even besides the names its just so perfect), and besides the fact that julia’s mom is also dead (see necklace theory) jules finding this song and singing it would be so amazing i cannot handle this 

this band is back

“we gotta get ready, cause its been years” 

“can you hear me” “LOUD AND CLEAR”

team red singing this band is back is something that can actually be so personal... 

bright

“life is a risk, but i will take it”

“we will fight to shine together, bright forever”

“together, i think that we can make it” 

do i. do i really have to say how much julethief this is. the way they shine and work well together, the way everything they do is the epitome of a risk but they do it anyways, the way together they can stop vile. yeah i’ll stop now 

flying solo

“my life, my life, would be real low, zero, flying solo”

“if somebody hurts you, im going to get hurt too”

yes i know this song is julie singing to flynn. in this au its jules singing to carmen (or vice versa idk) the amount of brainrot this au can hold... nobody mention stockholm but yeah it definitely fits and just. scream.

i got the music

“weight off my shoulders, dancing instead”

“can't stop the music // back inside my soul” 

i don’t even have coherent reasoning for this one i just think we should get to see jules sing this song and have player rap flynn’s parts. as a treat <3

the other side of hollywood

“we could go make history or you could rest in peace”

“everything has got a price but happiness is free”

“the rain don’t blind the rising souls // they got too much to see”

we all agree that hgc is basically vile but more dramatic and less green, right? also ive been trying to think of which of the faculty would be caleb in this au... i’m guessing countess cleo is the only one who could really pull it off well? but yeah... tr getting stuck at the hgc would be so so good and painrot

finally free

“hearts on fire // we’re no liars // so we say what we wanna say”

“i wanna fly // come alive // watch me fly”

“i got a spark in me” 

“been so long, and now we’re finally free” 

“now till eternity”

this is the ultimate julethief song actually i will not shut up about it (hence the excess of quotes). just !! the way its abt them not hiding anymore, “now till eternity” with “transcends space and time” ... yeah sounds like canon to me 😋  there’s so so so much quality content in this song i love it so much and just. this with julethief ???? my heart can’t handle this kind of excitement

perfect harmony

“bittersweet love story about a girl”

“two worlds collide when i’m with you” 

“we come to life when we’re in perfect harmony”

yes i know this was cs as jatp songs apparently somewhere along the line it dissolved into julethief but honestly are any of us surprised ??? its just so so perfect the way the lyrics describe them is just LGSHDAFLS “two worlds collide” (acme vs jules’s personal wants/desires) “in perfect harmony” *cough cought* did anyone mention the duane interview? no  ‘they work in harmony even when they’re not in the same scenes” yeah practically the same thing !!  (edit bc carmen pointed this out and i am screaming: perfect harmony is basically the tsonts dance scene and i cannot get over this) 

edge of great

“running from the past, tripping on the now” 

“what is lost can be found, its obvious”

“i believe that we’re just one dream // away from who we’re meant to be” 

“we’re standing on the edge of great” 

EDGE OF GREAT MY BELOVED !!! this song is SO iconic and you know whats even more iconic ??? the way it works so perfectly with carmen sandiego... carmen and jules post canon ?? 👀👀👀. i am looking at the lost/found line in particular for that but all of it works so so well (also side note but i would die if we got the classic juke nose scrunches with julethief actually)

unsaid emily

“i should have turned around // but i had too much pride” 

“and write in every empty space the words “i love you” in replace”

“the words i most regret are the ones i never meant to leave // unsaid emily”

to be honest this is the song that stumped me the most? it would take a bit of canon reconfiguring- either we’re making brunt more sympathetic (ew) or carmen grew up with carlotta and then had a falling out ??? i think that would make more sense, especially with carmen trying so hard to find her again after 25 years (the timeline matches closer than expected actually 👀 ) this song is peak painrot so have fun with this besties <33

you got nothing to lose

“ain’t nothing quite like living on the edge” 

“i’m chasing down a thrill, looking fit to kill” 

“you got nothing to lose, boys”

this scene would be so terrifying actually like, we already got the dark!carmen trauma so watching caleb have the ability to manipulate her would just be ABSOLUTE painrot *distant screaming* also the way the offer would be so tempting to team red ?? just bc carmens whole life is living on the edge, chasing down thrills, and being unable to settle down but she stays for jules i. yeah im soft what about it 

stand tall

“and it’s one, two, three, four times // i’ll try for one more night” 

“whatever happens // even if i’m the last standing // imma stand tall” 

“keep holding on, never look back” 

“i keep going on when it’s all falling apart // yeah i know it with all my heart”

thinking thoughts... julethief post canon with this song.... yeah i would be decimated on impact just the way jules thought carmen left but CARMEN COMES BACK.... canon ? i dont know her <33

in conclusion julethief/cs jatp au supremaki besties ♥️

[fmmimi]

I was daydreaming about klance and thinking who would give the first kiss and I made up something

We all know that lance is insecure and thinks he's wothless and replaceble, and keith is basically the only person who reassures him and says he plays an important role in the team. So, imagene that klance is cannon in the show and vld team went deep in this idea, adding more depth and nouance in their relationship.

Keith would give the first kiss

They're in the middle of a huge battle and they're losing. Almost dying actualy

"Keith, if I die" Lance says

"No one will die"

"If I die" he insists "I want to tell you something. I-"

"You can tell me when we're safe in castle" keith doesnt wanna hear bc they're gonna be fine. Ya know, tipycal movie scene. Lance doesnt care and says it anyway

"I'm in love with you" the team is in shock! Super happy though. Coran is all I knew this would happen someday, Hunk is smilling like a kid on christmas eve, Pidge is smirking. But team's happiness start to fade away as lance proceeds to talk "When I was at my lowest and feeling bad, you were the only one who cared about me. You really put effort on making me feel better. I appreciate this"

"Why are telling me this?"

"So sorry that your effort was in vain" and lance leaves his position. He has the perfect plan thats gonna save everyone. No one thought of it but he did

"Lance, what are you doing?!"

"I'm gonna fix this! I'll be usefull for the team at least this once and save your lives!!"

"Lance, dont do that!!" Keith screams "Lance!! Come back here!! Its an order!! I'm your leader!!! Lance!!! Come ba--" Lance mutes him

Keith tries to reach him but Lance is the red paladin now and he is faster than anyone else. He executes his plan(whatever his plan was, I didnt really think of it)

After his sacrifice is easy battle to the paladins now that they're full of pain and rage. Especially for Keith. He is out of himself. They win and Keith wants lances body back. No one tries to stop him.

Lance is found and oh my he is so hurt its even hard to recognize him. There is no hope that he is alive but Keith insists to put him in the healing camara.

Every day Keith is beside him waiting for him to wake up. Days goes by and nothing changes, nothing happens. Its hard to tell if lance is even breathing. But Keith is always waiting for him.

Weeks later his camara opens and lance wakes up. Keith is there and catches him when he falls ala allura ep1. Keith is so relieved. They both lean down and knee on the floor as Keith grabs Lance in a hug. Keith shrugging and crying

"Don't you dare ever do this to me again!!" Slowly, Lance hugs him too "Do you have any idea how much you scared me?! I thought you died!"

"Well, that was the plan"

They keep like this for a moment, just hugging eachother and feelimg eachother's presence

"Do you..." Lance's voice is weak "Do you remember what I said? Before I-"

"Yes"

"Oh... I look like an idiot now, don't I?"

Keith pushes the hug away grabs lances face in his hands. He looks deep in his eyes

"No! You look like a hero! You did it Lance, you saved our lives!!"

"It was worth it than" he smiles "I'm glad they're fine"

"Yeah, they're fine! But what about you?"

"No one cares about me"

"I do! I care about you!"

"Why?"

Then Keith pulls him to a kiss. A warm, soft and carrying kiss. It's comforting. It's everything Keith wanted to say in a single gesture.

"Because I love you too"

Anyways! Everyone is super bad about what happened and they all apologize to Lance and throw him a party YAY

Of course there is the possibility of Lance giving the first kiss. If so maybe in a moment of tension, like Aang kissing Katara before the invasion, and then after is this weird thing of are we or are we not a thing. Ya know, no time to think just kiss and BOOM WAR. Would be interesting too, but I thought this one is more dramatic

Plus I like the idea of keith kissing lance to comfort him

[midnightlie]

tay ever since you mentioned your lance becomes a single parent to his niece and nephew au i have NOT been able to stop thinking about it and the possibilities. it just. sounds like the perfect kind of thing to tear my heart to pieces in the best way possible 👌🏻

omg thank you!! i love that au too i wanna write for it so bad. lance is the only family member who lived close to luis on whatever side of the country theyre on, but he became very close to his niece and nephew (who i imagine are younger in this au; nadia is practically a baby and sylvio is only in kindergarten) so i def think that luis and lisa who ADOREEEE lance and know how good he is with their kids would write him into their will as the kids’ guardian.

when they die, its a car accident. it was raining. since lance lived nearby he was on their emergency contact list as number 1 and when he gets the call, hes pulling an extra shift at the bar—he works two jobs maybe—one is his career (idk what that is yet tbh) and he does bartending on the side to make extra $$$

keith is the first person he calls when he gets to the police station that night bc keiths number is the first one on his recent calls history. he and keith arent all that close—they have the same friends, but other than the occasional trivia/game night, they dont cross paths a whole lot. actually they get on each others nerves often lol.

but lance had called him earlier that day with some quick question, the whole conversation couldnt have lasted more than 2 minutes, but lance calls him now and its 2am and he wakes keith up with his call but keith is immediately awake when lance starts crying into the phone and then keith comes to the police station for him.

the next day lance learns that he has been appointed guardianship of nadia and sylvio and hes able to keep it together while his family is around for the funeral because he has all this support and bosses have been extremely understanding and veronica stays for an extra month before she has to go back home for work so its easier but then. once life keeps moving, he becomes SUPER overwhelmed. its impossible to work two jobs and play parent for two kids.

one late afternoon, keith is bringing over some casserole shiro made for lance bc shiro got caught up and couldnt. lance looks like he hasnt slept in 5 days when he answers the door, hair all greasy, majorly stressed out. keith offers to watch the kids and heat up the casserole in the oven while lance takes some time to nap and/or shower and lance is SO skeptical at first (“and leave you alone with the kids!?”) but the idea of a hot shower and a 20 minute cat nap are too good to resist.

lance feels like a new man when he comes back out of his room like an hour later and keith is sitting on the floor of the living room playing with sylvio, nadia in the V of his legs, one superhero toy in each of his hands. He asks keith to stay for dinner, and he does, stays until sylvio and nadia have been tucked into bed and cant beg for keith to stay anymore.

keith offers to help out when he can, if lance wants. lance says not to worry about it, but sylvio talks about keith for DAYS cant stop prattling about how cool and fun keith is and lance thinks that sylvio isnt too far off, actually.

two weeks later hes calling keith and asking if he can pick the kids up from afterschool daycare bc he has to stay late at work with promises of making it up to him. (keith has to borrow shiros car to pick up the kids since all he has is his motocycle but he makes it work!!)

and basically the au turns into keith helping lance out when he needs it and lance just falling in love with this man so hard, someone who has been there for him and who his kids adore like 🥺🥺🥺 and the angst around lance losing his brother and sister in law and its just!!!! MY GODDD I NEED TO FIND TIME AND INSP TO WRITE THIS OUT LMAO

[heyitsyn]

HALLOKNEE

Manager!Seijoh

a/n: a halloween special with our boys and the mess it is

summary: lets just say,, things get weird during halloween

okay so first of

halloween isnt a favorite holiday of most of the boys

like they all ltr are towers and skyscrapers but these kids are absolutely terrified of it all

but you just really like the holiday bc of yanno, candy, scary stuff, and omg costumes!

so you were basically very hyped and excited about it and you were excitedly humming to yourself as the date grew closer

the boys were confused as to why you were actually happy and in a good mood but they didnt complain bc they love seeing you happy

the flowery aura makes them heart eyes

HEART GOES DOKIDOKI

oikawa ran over and he stood behind you as you were distractedly humming to your clipboard

‘watcha doing, y/n-chan?’

he whispered to your ear

normally, you would shriek or flinch but you didnt and instead, turned and flashed him a grin

‘checking our schedule! i have a surprise for you all and i want to make sure theres nothing happening to stop it from happening!’

the boys grimaced and held a hand to their heart at your joy and they didnt even question what was going on or why you were so excited

all they know is you were happy

lmao oikawa got the hardest shot to it

he was front seat and his eyes widened and he froze

then he pulled you to his chest and nuzzled his face into your neck

‘aawwww~~!!!! youre so cute y/n-chan!!’

these idiots are so whipped and simp for you so hard that they completely forgot everything

your happiness continued for another week and my god that was probably the best week of their life bc you were just fluttering and giggling and skfjdslkjfdlflfkjs

to be fair though, you mentioned halloween being close and you were looking forward to a family night of watching scary movies in tv and duh these boys were already arguing with each other on who would protect you

‘I WANNA SIT NEXT TO  Y/N-CHAN!’

‘WHY?! SO YOU CAN HAVE AN EXCUSE TO HOLD HER?! YOURE A PERVERT SHITTYKAWA!’

‘AS IF YOURE NOT ANY BETTER IWAIZUMI!’

‘HANAMAKI STAY OUT OF THIS!’

ltr its just a big warcry between the third years while the second and first years already were getting head pats from you for being brave boys and were comfy right next to you

‘my boys are so cute~’

ITS A LOVE SHOT! NAAA NANANANANANANAANANAAAAAA

by then, the surprise was getting closer and you were already jumping in your toes

the night before, you texted the group chat to meet you at the school by 8 pm tomorrow

they all sent replies saying okay with no questions

‘okay love you y/n-chan! <3′

‘got it! good night!’

‘sweet dreams darling!’

at around 7:30, you were standing by the school bus since coach mizoguchi omg bless his heart was going to drive you all

the boys were all dressed in warm clothing and my gosh they all looked like models what the heck

we’re just going to ignore and forget that hideous infamous oikawa outfit

but you didnt focus on that and instead waved at them happily

‘you guys!’

oikawa jumped joyfully at your voice before naruto running over to you and scooping you in his arms

‘y/n-chan!’

he shouted and you didnt mind being twirled around since you were giggling and laughing

after iwa punched his head, oikawa had to let you down and they continued bickering so you took this chance to go over to the others by the side

‘are you all excited?’

you asked and they smiled softly

kunimi ruffled your hair and you grabbed his hand

‘it’s really sweet you planned something for us, y/n’

watari reached over to pat your head and you wholeheartedly accepted the affection

‘oi, just tell us’

kyotani grumbled but you cutely smiled and held a peace sign

‘nooo~~!’

you checked your watch and you jumped

‘oh my! we need to hurry on the bus now!’

you herded everyone to sit in their seats and oikawa raised an eyebrow at the driver

‘oh? why is-’

‘your dear manager wanted to have a bonding exercise for the team. how could we refuse? oh, coach irihata said to make sure you know how to breathe and calm down’

the last sentence made question marks appear on everyone’s heads but you waved it off

‘oh come on, mizoguchi-san! dont ruin the surprise!’

you whined from your seat and the elder caught your eye at the rearview

‘just making sure to warn them, especially oikawa’

‘me?’

but he went unanswered 

the team gave up trying to ask you bc you would just mischieviously smile and shake your head cutely

‘nope~! not tellingggg~!’

but oh my they were answered

mizoguchi dropped everyone off in front of a building where there was also other people at

owo the people just simply stared bc omg like 12 boys? thats freaking great and i have finally lived and can die peacefully now

the team blinked as they got off the shuttle bus and they were so confused that you waved mizoguchi off to make sure the boys wouldn’t run back to the bus if they figure it out

ofc our ever smart baby kunimi was the first to figure it out and his mouth opened

‘why,,, do you hate us, y/n-chan?’

slowly the light bulbs turned on in everyone’s heads and they all had the same shocked look

DKFLSJDKFJLDKFLJ LIKE IN OHSHC WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT HARUHI’S A GIRL OMG I MISS THAT SHOW

‘nope! im going home!’

kindaichi started to walk but you hurriedly grabbed his arm

‘nooo yuu-kun!!! noo!! please stay!! i worked so hard!!!’

you looked up with your puppy dog eyes and kindaichi scrunched his face up

no no no fight it kindaichi

but ofc hes weak to you so he sighed and went back with the group

‘oi, are you insane or what?’

kyotani, despite his tough facade, wasnt exactly the greatest with any jumpscares in movies so having a jumpscare in real life wouldn’t exaclty be,,,, not violent

but you trust he can handle it and leave the place without a charge for assault

it was clear the others were already regretting it and you got sad bc you did work hard on getting a reservation since this haunted house was the most haunted in this part of japan

your figure in front of them made them tear their eyes away from the scary windows which they swore had someone staring at them

‘come on, you guys! we’ll have fun! i promise! its not that scary!’

you assured but they still didnt look convinced

‘you know, i just,,, i wanted everyone to,, bond and,,, have fun,,,,,, and because halloween is my favorite holiday,, i thought i could share it with you all. but im sorry that i was selfish and,,,, did it even though you guys dont like it’

not at y/n being totally manipulative and using their affections and attraction to her to help her case

your downcast expression and sad eyes snapped them out of it and they just sucked it up and they all shared a look that practically meant

‘suck it up, and make sure y/n is having fun. forget about us, its her time right now’

this led to you guys standing in front of the door guy and he cracked up at the sight of this cute little girl bouncing in her shoes with a group of guys who looked pale and nauseous

‘reservation name?’

‘seijoh!’

you exclaimed and he looked in the list before nodding

‘okay. so first, the rope is what guides you all. make sure, whatever you do, never lose grip on it bc you might get lost. keep in mind, this is an actual abandoned hospital and is known to actually be haunted so unless you want to go ghost-hunting and meet unknown people or spirits, dont stray off’

that warning should’ve scared you like the boys but you just agreed with a bright grin

‘yep!’

the doorguy chuckled before reaching into the box beside him

ngl oikawa was already so scared that he flinched, not knowing what was inside of it

‘a flashlight to help you guide yourselves’

you held it tight and yahaba was already holding on to your jacket sleeve

‘also, phones in the bin, please’

‘hah?!’

iwaizumi started but you placed a hand on his chest

‘its to make sure no one films anything and ruins the surprise’

you assured and he stopped but continued glaring

everyone hesitantly placed their phones into the bin where they saw it being locked into a locker and the key was given to you

‘you can get it back when you exit so dont worry’

you nodded and the team rolled their eyes but nodded anyways

brats

‘all set? okay! go on in! happy hunting!’

omg you were slightly regretting it already

kyotani refused to not be away from you so he was holding your hand while yahaba remained clutching you

the third years wanted to appear all tough so they took the lead but oikawa was screeching and screaming at the littlest things which caused makki to scream and mattsun to also scream and then iwa and everyone else

it was like a screaming train

you even heard kyo gasp multiple times and you tightened your grip on his hand to assure him he was okay and you were right there

everything was going smoothly excused the screaming and everyone was actually having a little bit of fun since it was funny watching everyone scream at the littlest things

‘NOOO!!!!!!’

‘WAAAAHHHH!!!!!!’

the many rooms had the actors and dear god they should be emmy winning by how they just stared at you all and still sent shivers down your spines

then the unthinkable happened

the flashlight that iwaizumi was holding started to flicker and eventually died, leaving you all stranded in the pitch-dark

there wasnt even any light above you so everything was just black

everyone stopped, your breathing being paused and no one made a sound

‘RAAAA!’

someone from beside you shouted in your ear and you screamed so loudly and in instinct, everyone bolted forward with no direction on where to go

kunimi and kindaichi were holding each others hands and ran also dragging along watari since he was holding kunimi’s sleeve and also yahaba and you and kyo

‘IWA-CHAN!!!’

oikawa instinctively shouted and they all held on to each other

mattsun expected to catch ahold of watari’s hoodie since he was behind him but there was nothing but air

‘uh, you guys?’

he wished and prayed and hoped your voice would answer back but there was silence

‘oi! l/n y/n!’

he shouted and makki trembled in fear

‘iwaizumi? oikawa?’

‘h-huh!’

iwaizumi grunted and my goodness was this really happening

everything was going too smoothly that something bad happening shouldve been seen from the get-go!

the 4 third years were thankfully with each other since they were already huddled up at the front but their kouhais were nowhere near them

‘iwa-chan! what do we do!’

oikawa cried and iwaizumi hit him to keep him quiet

‘shut up shittykawa!’

‘oi! stop fighting and think about this!’

mattsun quieted them down into shaking forms

‘the team is gone. theyre somewhere in this hospital and there’s a chance theyve strayed off the path’

makki shakily breathed

‘so what should we do?’

iwaizumi bit his lip to think of a plan

‘should we just go around and shout and scream for them?’

oikawa suggested but makki turned it down

‘no. that would ruin it for everyone else. we’re not the only ones in here’

oikawa blanched

‘i dont care about the other people! who knows what happened to y/n! i give no fck about strangers when she could be lost somewhere in this big ass hospital!’

they were stumped with no solutions so they just agreed to iwa’s suggestion

‘lets just hurry and get this over with and meet the people outside and get their help’

‘or! we can ask the staff in here, the actors, to help us! this is an accident’

‘you stupid or dumb? you think they would help us? its an us problem, not theirs, so theyre not going to abandon their post and look for them’

ltr maybe its the panic thats making them all crazy but they just settledon hurrying up and finishing the maze so they could get help

but the moment they turned to what seems to be a corner, they already managed to get themselves lost

iwaizumi felt around for the familiar texture of the rope which is supposed to be at his right but in the end, his hand reached nothing

‘fck!’

he shouted and scared the other 3

‘WHAT?!’

makki yelled

‘the rope. the rope’s not here anymore’

silence

then oikawa sobbed

‘oh my god im going to die’

he whimpered and makki sniffled

‘i wanna go home’

mattsun and iwa were the only at least stable ones and they finally resigned to defeat and grabbed their friends and walked to nowhere

on to your side!!

you and the others finally stopped running but the beating of your hearts still pumped at a fast speed

‘are we safe now?!’

kindaichi shouted and there was a chorus of confusion amongst the others

‘iwa-san?’

you checked and usually he would grunt but there was just silence

it was quiet and the familiar voice of oikawa was nowhere in sight

‘i dont know about you guys but my oikawa sensors just shut off’

yahaba pointed out and you gasped

‘where are they?’

kyotani refused to let go so you felt around with your left hand for the rope

to your relief, it was still there but the feeling of the missing boys outweighed it and made your anxiety levels spike up

‘should we call them? lets call them’

yahaba started but kyotani bonked his head

‘baka. they took our phones earlier’

the reminder of the confiscated form of communication meant that there was no other way you could contact the others

panic bubbled over kindaichi watari and yahaba while you kunimi and kyotani were busy thinking of something

‘i think theyve strayed off. if they didn’t, they wouldve heard us from up there’

kunimi mumbled

‘but where else could they have gone to?’

you asked and kyotani huffed beside you

‘we cant see anything. hell, i cant even see you. obviously theres probably a hallway they ran down to without even knowing they went there’

‘so youre saying theyre lost? without any way to contact us? what do we do?’

you whimpered, finally realizing and the idea of the others being gone settling in

‘this is all my fault. i shouldnt have dragged you here. i made a mistake-’

‘hey, dont freak out. im right here’

even though you couldnt see him, kenta maneuvered his way to cup your face and you felt his forehead press against yours and his nose nuzzling your cheek

the smell of cherry blossoms and vanilla with the slightest hint of sandalwood

kyotani’s scent comforted you and you were able to calm down 

‘we’ll figure this out. its okay, you got me’

he whispered and you nodded 

‘youre right here. we’ll be okay, okay?’

you giggled a little bit at the repitition of the word but smiled when he pulled you close to his chest

ugh i mightve already written a kyo route but that doesnt stop me from putting in kyo moments :”)

the other 4 were figuring out a plan that was eerily similar to the 3rd years

‘lets just finish this and ask the staff for help later’

they all agreed to kunimi’s idea and hurriedly gripped the rope to start going back to the path

you were in between kindaichi and kyotani with the former in front and the latter behind you

‘im right here. you got this’

kyotani would occasionally whisper and you were so grateful to have someone to be there

then the lights flickered and your eyes caught sight of something down the hallway to your left and you noticed a shadow 

a shadow of a tall figure that was kinda familiar

‘y/n-chan~’

you flinched and the voice of your blocker filled your ears

‘mattsun-san?’

you were too focused on the voice to hear the others questions of what was happening

‘over here, y/n-chan~’

there it was again

‘mattsun-san!’

you shouted and bolted to the hallway where you were sure the voice was at and you were ignoring the shouts of the others and kyotani hurriedly ran after you

‘mattsun-san!’

you shouted again and you ended up at the hallway, with the lights still flickering but there was no one

kyotani panted as he caught up to you before snatching your hand

‘oi! dont run off like that!’

it seems the others were too scared to let go of the rope that they were fine if kyotani went after you bc he was strong so he could protect you both if needed

right?

kyotani is a bark bark woof woof boy not a priest

you felt his warm hand grip your again as if to signal that you werent running off alone again

‘i heard him i swea-’

‘to your left, y/n-chan~’

ok ngl im getting chills writing this

the flickering lights allowed you to see the shadow again and yep there it was

it was at the end of the hallway to your left and once you turned and saw it, it ran to the right

‘mattsun-san! wait!’

as you were going to run, kyotani refused to let you go

he placed strong hands to your shoulders and you looked up at him, your eyes manic

‘listen to me, y/n. youre hearing things’

he firmly said

‘i dont hear matsukawa or anyone’

you started breathing heavily, the air seemingly getting colder and thinner

‘you dont understand! he was right there! his shadow-!’

‘let her play a game, boy!’

matsukawa’s voice this time took a harsh tone and even kyotani jumped, holding you to his chest protectively

‘oi! matsukawa! its not funny anymore!’

your eyes looked over kyo’s shoulder and you saw the shadow again from behind him

‘please trust me, kyo! hm?’

you begged and he sighed

‘im holding on to you. im not letting you go again’

this wouldve been romantic if you werent in an actual paranormal story

you chased after the ghost and it would occasionally whisper in your ear to keep your attention until you ran into a pitch-black hallway

‘what do we do now, y/n?’

kyo whispered and you trembled

‘mattsun-san!’

you weakly cried, knowing there was a strong possibility he wouldnt answer back

but a loud screech from the far right brought hope into you

‘Y/N-CHAN!’

is that-

‘oikawa-san?!’

you shrieked and there was a trample of footsteps running over to you and naturally, kyotani pulled you behind him

then a hand made you shriek 

‘relax. its just me, y/n-chan’

mattsun’s voice sounded clearer this time since he was right beside you and you hugged him

‘come on. everyone hold hands so that no one will get lost. we’ll take about this later’

iwa commanded and as the true leader of the gang, everyone followed his lead

there was a red sign with the most amazing word on top of it

‘EXIT’

it looked like a door that was only meant for staff but at this point, you all were desperate to just leave

as you reached the handle, the voice came back

‘aw~ leaving so soon?’

you turned around, halting mattsun and kyotani as they held your hands and felt you stop

‘show yourself. i know you’re not mattsun-san so stop using his voice’

you demanded and you turned, feeling a chilly air rush behind you

‘boo~’

it whispered to your ear and you eyes widened at the sight from further down the hallway

you could make out a mass of a body and at the top, there was bright red eyes and white teeth smiling menacingly

‘oh my god’

you whispered and the boys saw exactly what you were seeing

‘what is that’

oikawa whimpered

its mouth obviously moved as it spoke

‘are you leaving me, y/n-chan? so cruel~’

its voice was sickly sweet and sounded like a teenage boy’s but was so mean and hate-filled

you started sobbing and oikawa turned the door to run but it stayed put and didnt budge

‘you were so fun to play with~ are your friends fun too~?’

it looked like it was coming closer with a hand outstretched and you started shivering and your voice ripped into a scream

‘stop! go away!’

iwa mustered all his strength and ran against the metal door but it opened on its own, leaving the boy to land on the grass from outside

you were pulled by the others before it could touch you and you were already hysterically crying before the first and second years ran over and engulfed you to a hug

you were being hushed by the them and you tightly held on to someone’s arms

‘sshhh its okay, we’re right here’

you reduced to hiccups before looking around

‘w-where’s the other people?’

you asked, taking notice of the empty field

‘are we at the back?’

the boys shared a confused look

‘huh? what are you talking about, y/n?’

you looked at yahaba like he was crazy

‘the other people! the other people wanting to go in! and the doorguy! the haunted event! the haunted house!’

their eyes flickered everywhere to try and make sense of what you were saying but in the end resulted to just pure confusion and fear

‘y/n, we’re not at some event’

iwa started and your eyes widened

‘w-what?’

makki shakingly placed a hand on your shoulder

‘y/n, you dragged us here to go ghost-hunting. and there’s no doorguy’

your eyes flickered down as your mind tried to wrap itself with what was going on

‘what do you mean? i took you here for a haunted attraction! the doorguy took our phones and locked them in a locker, remember?’

you wildly waved your arms around but they still didnt understand

‘and the flashlight! and the rope! w-we had to hold on to the rope! the rope made sure we didnt stray off the path! bu-but the flashlight! the flashlight died!’

kunimi noticed the beginning of a panic attack so he pulled you close to him and made sure you could feel his heartbeat

‘listen to me, y/n. you took us here because we all lost a bet with you and this was what you wanted since its halloween and we trespassed to go here and there was no doorguy who took our phones because all our phones died the moment we got here and we saw a rope hanging from the ceiling and we had no flashlight in the first place’

he whispered to your ear and you pushed away from him, curling your arms around yourself

‘no! what bet?! i took you here for bonding time for our volleyball team! you were getting busy for inter high so i figured this could help you have fun!’

now that took the cake

‘what volleyball team?’

your eyes finally settled on your ‘captain’

‘what do you mean, ‘what volleyball team’, oikawa-san?’

totally disregarding the fact that you just called him by his last name instead of his first, he focused on what you were talking about

‘if you wanted to bond with the volleyball team, then you brought the wrong sport team over then’

oikawa scoffed, feeling rage bubbling inside him at the familiar players of the volleyball team

‘you shouldve brought over nagisa and rin and them, then, y/n’

makki bitterly mumbled and you were just so exhausted and tired and confused

‘WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT’

you bursted and started crying which ofc prompted the others to calm down and focus on you

‘y/n, love, we’re the swimming team, not the little ball playing game’

mattsun reminded and you shook your head, disbelief and utter fear present in your face

‘then-then! oikawa-san! give me your right knee!’

you ran over and he questioningly raised his leg

‘uhh,, what are you doing, y/n?’

kunimi asked but you waved him off, determination in your eyes

‘this should prove hes a volleyball player’

then you punched it really hard which resulted with a sickening pop

oikawa screamed

a/n: idk if the concept is clear enough but uwu send in a guess and ill answer if you got it right

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[janiedean]

oh i know c didn't believe it but i lowkey want her to see that he left her for brienne for the drama lol. but more than that i really do wanna see how the lsh showdown goes and how they proceed beyond that, if pod/hyle survive (i didnt think they would but pod survived the show so who knows). and then do they go back to riverrun, when and how do they meet up with sansa (i always thought LF would die in book 6 at the vale before sansa left for the north tbh but the show made me rethink and now im not sure?). anyway in that way they'd have to meet up towards the end of book 6 and that would probably also be the time arya's making her way back from braavos after taking needle back maybe? (i think i've read fanfics covering all this and they stumble upon arya somewhere along the way xD)

do they have oathsex in winds 👀 (there's definitely going to be lots of romanctic feelingssss) when and how soon xDDD do they head north now xD i have so many questionssss aaaaahhhhhh (although i'm honestly more forgiving of grrm these days, so i dont blame him at all esp given how i havent been productive AT ALL in the pandemic esp in the latter half and anyway his blog posts in the beginning of the year were so sad about so many of his friends passing away, it would take a toll on anyone :( )

(ngl grrm could release his notes in bullet points for the remaining books and say he's not writing anymore and i'd purchase that too :D i just wanna erase that fucked up excuse of a show from my brain esp the last 4 seasons)

I mean... I'll admit that seeing c. lose her shit realizing jaime left her for brienne would make my day but at this point I just... want team young griff to rhaenyra their way into KL and have her out of the way without jaime being involved so people stop harping they'll die together and honestly her dying without that acknowledgment would... kind of be poeticjusticeish and I honestly hope she sees melara laughing before she dies but fair enough I see your point uu

that said my money is on both pod and hyle surviving bc like... the batb will need hostages and if either were dead brienne would have let herself get hanged anyway so they need the leverage and at that point idt they're dead meat, pod because if he didn't die then then why would grrm do that and hyle bc I think jaime needs to get the jealous bust and no one else will tell him brienne was gonna die for him anyway so I'm of the idea that both live - for now anyway - and that the oathsex is happening in winds because the moment those two figure it out no way they can keep their respective clothes on

and then do they go back to riverrun, when and how do they meet up with sansa (i always thought LF would die in book 6 at the vale before sansa left for the north tbh but the show made me rethink and now im not sure?)

my theory for now is more like:

if sandor is at the quiet isle and they all collectively decide to look for sansa then they aren't going back to riverrun bc jaime would be defecting and he wouldn't go back for an army he didn't gaf about anyway also like... count that the blackfish is on the loose and jeynew is apparently in the wow prelude chapter or so grrm said so like whatever's up at riverrun is more with the remaining tullys + jeynew & the army having no commander imvho

also like.... the freys are obv set up to be northern conspiracy victims so that's probably gonna play out too and at this point I'm betting money brynden has a part in it because like as brienne is gonna off cat it's not gonna be stoneheart red-weddinging anyone also bc grrm doesn't thing personal revenge is a good thing

if I don't remember wrong brienne had come that close to figuring out the vale option so... if it's three of them at some point they'll manage that and then they go to the vale to get sansa and at that point they find her, swear fealty etc, lf gets moon-door-ed or smth and they grab the valean army to go to winterfell which was... what I think they stole in the show except it was never supposed to be just lf and sansa was never supposed to be in wf

and at that point they get there in time to help stannis take it bc like hell I think there's two sieges of winterfell in these books but if I was wrong and stannis failed then they'd be in time to help jon who at that point would have received robb's will

like I would like fandom (not talking to you ofc) in general to remember maege mormont and howland reed out of everyone have a fucking will signed by robb stark making jon legitimate which will conveniently be delivered after he dies and comes back to life so his vows don't hold him anymore

idk about arya's timing but could be doable

(also I should reread agot but I'm 99% sure at some point bran dreamed smth that was like... three people defending sansa from a mountain while she was trapped in a snow castle and while idk about frankengregor getting to the vale in timely fashion I always thought it was sandorjaimebrienne teaming up to do that but like I could remember wrong)

but I mean... more than all of that I'm eating my hat on the fact that brienne having jaime with her when she goes through his same ordeal ie having to kill your mad liege lady is going to be exactly what doesn't make her go in that path - bc at that point he did enough soul cleansing to know where he fucked up and he'll know she's better than succumbing to cynicism - and eventually gives her the force to deal with it and come out of it a better knight and stop giving a fuck about what others think of it and eventually at the end leads to her knighting and recognition that she is the best knighthood in westeros has to offer like that is happening regardless of anything else and I'm dying on that hill X°D and I'm saying it as someone who's written jaime knighting her since the year of the lord.... 2012 at least but I'm pretty sure that I put it in at least three fics and two of them were written before 2014 so when the show did it I just went like OH WELL AS THEY SHOULD so like it's bc I always thought he was going to do that T_T

[demonbloodhrt]

hi bestie can u share more of ur Gabriel thoughts bc I love him?? also are u a middle child bc that would make sense

akjdbskfbnsjdbs sure!! i dont have many gabriel thoughts but ill think some up for u <3 (also im an only child which i think might make even more sense)

gabriel is so compelling to me as a person who has always Known the only way i could every be happy was if i left my family behind and never looked back and i wonder for how long he knew that and when exactly he gathered himself enough to do it. bc if i remember being as young as 3 being like sigh too bad im not gonna see any of you again n i wonder how that might have been for a being that old.

also as a catholic school kid who literally named himself gabriel bc i loved the idea of an angel who got to talk to mary... thinking about the immaculate conception in the context of supernaturals very evil bloodline determinism canon is just so rife for conflict like...

[i went and wrote a mini fic about gabriel and mary and mary and the boys. what have you done to me??]

youre this archangel and youre in charge of The Big Job but you also think humans are very interesting n cool and you hang out with this lady and you become friends and shes so happy with the blessing you gave her but you know how much pain she will be in, how many sorrows will pierce her heart, how young her son will have to die and how meaningless it will be with how fickle youve seen your father to be and you just wanna tell her "run!!!" you wanna ask her "how can you stand it?" you wanna tell her "your family is cursed" and "im so sorry. you should've had an ordinary life" you wanna say "you're too good for us" and then she becomes like the big lady in heaven and you love her so much and you're so happy shes home with you but now shes just one more thing youre gonna leave behind. shes another reminder of how good heaven can be if you just find it in yourself to love it more than yourself, more than your flesh and blood. how would mary feel about gabriel leaving? what of the gaping wound of losing the last person who saw you as a person and not a role, who understood you to be a miracle all on your own? even for someone who had such faith, who cherished the role she was given. what would that be like?

mind u in my mind mary coming to heaven wouldve been something akin to wendy arriving in neverland and all the lost boys clamoring for a mother and... shes happy. but shes also just a woman. and gabe sees that. he just wanted a friend, and god help her so did she.

and how did he feel hearing about another mary with another baby that was destined to suffer for humankind and bring her along for the ride? how did he feel about the way heaven outsourced the job to fucking cupids and never even cared enough to have someone ASK HER if she was willing, if she understood the enormity of what was about to happen to her, to give her peace and tell her she was blessed among women. would he feel pulled to her? would he try to warn her? tell this mary at least that she should run, give her other options, tell her their families are cursed, that he can hide her, that shes too good for heaven. that they all are.

did he want to ask her to come with him, fake her death and hide away?

did he want to come in through the window in the middle of the night and take that baby?

for how long do you think he wanted to reach out, to take those boys in hand, fake their deaths and hide them somewhere no one could ever find them but he just didnt feel like he could ever attempt a family after he couldnt even keep his? how many times do you think he cried for mary, his mary, because she could do this. she could raise those boys and take whatever happened to them as martyrdom and not murder. shed been there before and she could do it. they could do it. they could make their own heaven and no one would know.

at what point did his resentment at himself, at watching history repeat itself much worse this time turn into resentment at sam and dean for not just giving up the way he learned one must?

[zombieratt]

Alright so forewarning this is LONG as FUCK specifically because i came up with this idea in early high school and was just today POSESSEd By the Spirit Of Musical Theatre to put it to paper— er Tumblr.

So without further ado:

DEAR EVAN HANSEN BUT EVAN ISNT A TERRIBLE PERSON AND CONNOR LIVES.

the beginning is the same, canon diverges just after waving through a window.

*this ended up getting written is script format? i also just sorta ignore alana’s whole exsistance bc in this version of the play she’s unnecessary*

In the moments before he talks to Connor evan decides to omit Zoe from his letter, having resolved himself to move on from her. (instead of being a hella creep.)

Connor: “dear Evan Hansen,” what are you writing letters to yourself? *he laughs*

Evan: its, uh, its for my therapist. its just a stupid little assignment that she says is supposed to help me process my feelings or— uh or something

Connor: hm. here. * hands Evan the letter*

Connor: your cast. no one’s signed it.

Evan: uh no. no one has.

Connor: gotta sharpie?

Evan: huh?

Connor: gotta sharpie? im gonna sign it.

Evan: *handing the sharpie to Connor* w- whuh uh why?

Connor: *shrugs* feels right.

Evan: i wish i could do that

Connor: what?

Evan: UH, IMEAN—

Connor: no wait- dude.

Evan: i mean uh, i meant that i wish i could just be, y’know impulsive like that.

Connor: Why Cant you be?

Evan: i uh, my heads pretty messed up, and stuff like that just, makes it worse i guess.

Connor: well theres some thing we have in common— were both fucked up in the head.

*the bell rings*

Evan: oh shoot! i missed the bus—

Connor: i’ll give you a ride.

Evan: are you sure i mean i can walk its not far-

Connor: all the more reason, i probably have to pass it on my way home anyway, cmon.

——

they meet Zoe in the parking lot

Zoe: I have Late practice today

Connor: whatever, gotta passenger.

Zoe: who the fuck would be crazy enough to trust your ability to drive?

Evan *being Brave*: Me Apparently?

Zoe: Uh, Evan Right?

Evan: yeah, uh, yeah.

Zoe *holding her hand out to be shaken*: i’m Zoe, we’ve met though right?

Evan wipes his hand on his shirt and shakes it: yeah, uh, nice to formally meet you, Zoe.

Zoe: i’m off, don’t kill him stoner.

Connor: i wont Princess

Evan breathing heavy: that was,, an eventful ten minutes.

Connor: oh fuck— you cool? or—

Evan: Panic Attack.

Connor: Right, uh

Connor: can you get in the car?

Evan: yeah

*car nonsense*

Connor: Can i start driving or do you want me to wait

Evan: Distractions are good,, Can Uh, Can you Talk about Stuff?

Connor: What stuff!??

Evan: any Stuff!

Connor: Is Zoe okay??

Evan: Sure?!

Connor: Uhh we don’t get along as well as we used to?

we were really close as kids, shes a huge asshole now but *fully venting now*

i kind of miss it you know? having someone to talk to and care about— and i still care about her— but its scary and i always fuck it up! not to mention the fact that our parents hate me— make her see me as some alien and not just a fucked up kid who wants to talk and — (more ranting that i dont feel like writing, but its a whole monologue bro)

Evan: Connor

Connor snaps his mouf shut: yeah

Evan: thanks

Connor: oh that, uh actually helped?

Evan: yeah focusing on your voice and whats real and stuff— it makes a difference.

Neither of them noticed that Connor was just sort of Driving. they end up at the park where in canon Connor commits Sewer-slide.

Evan: i didn’t know there was a park here.

Connor: huh, oh, yeah i guess i just sorta auto piloted, i come here to think.

Evan: About stuff?

Connor: Yeah, Stuff.

*the convo lulls*

Connor: do you have a laptop?

Evan: no, i uh, i left it at home? why?

Connor: give me a second

Connor walks to the car and grabs his back pack out of the back seat

Evan watches Quizzically from the swing-set

Connor pulls out a Sketch Pad and Pen, flipping to a clean page.

Connor: So tell me how to write one of those letters of yours.

Evan: uh, well you start like any other letter- just addressing it to yourself

Connor writing: Dear Connor Murphy,

Evan: and uh, my first one was supposed to be about my ideal summer vacation? since i started in middle school- but you don’t have to—

Connor: thats perfect.

Connor starts to sing for forever,

eventually Evan joins in there is a minor gay moment where they’re holding hands face to face.

the song ends with Connor hugging Evan.

Evan: its- its pretty late.

Connor obviously crying: just— just a couple more minutes.

Evan lets go and grabs Connors sketch book of the ground, closing it and handing it off to him: then how about this, labor day weekend- we actually go.

Connor: what are you talking about?

Evan: being spontaneous?

Connor: o-okay.

and it cuts to black.

theres a small montage here, as the set changes to Connor and Evans bedrooms

sincerely, me is a lament in this context, Connor and Evan are duetting from their respective rooms, writing to themselves.

(the lyrics are completely different and i will not be writing them here because thats too much fucking effort.

but they’re duetting from their bedrooms about making a connection to another person, feeling seen, for the first time. what it felt like and how they really want to keep it up but are afraid of making a mistake and ruining it.

its got some themes of waving thru a window, and a little bit of for forever, but its still largely the same notes just in a different key.)

after wards, Zoe knocks on Connors door to tell him dinner is ready to find him peacefully asleep.

requiem is the same, Zoe sees Connor as Dead to Her instead of actually dead, so some of the wording changes, so and so about how a monster doesn’t deserve peaceful rest etcetera.

school day happens, Connor doesn’t die, but the hot goss is that everyone saw Connor and Evan go home together after school, jared makes a shitty homophobic joke to Evan and Evan kind of tells him off about it. they argue and it culminates in Evan saying “well god forbid I’m friends with someone who isn’t YOU!” or smth like tht and it hits jared right the fuck at home man.

Connor says from the side lines: damn that was pretty hard core dude.

Evan: you have, no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.

Connor honest to god l a u g h s, theres a number of people who hear it and lose their shit, Zoe being one of them: i have a pretty good idea, wanna get some lunch?

Evan: yeah, sure.

this general routine continues until labor day weekend, when they plan to go on their little escape. theres a short scene of Connor leaving the house with his keys and a backpack.

Connors mom confronts Zoe about his oddly upbeat attitude and hows he’s seemed differently lately Zoe Shrugs but decides to investigate his room.

she finds the letters. the first one is for forever, the theme plays as she reads it frantically, and is signed “Sincerely me (connor murphy)” so she knows its him, i f i could tell her begins but its a real duet between Connor and Zoe and at the end she resolves to try harder to connect to him.

Evan sings disappear to Connor after breaking into a formerly public park, in this context its him confessing that he broke his arm attempting su!c!de. Connor records it, for personal reference.

jared hacks Connors phone and steals the video, posting it to yt, in an effort to ruin their friendship.

Evan and Connor get in a little fight about it, and in the meantime Evan is called to the school to give an assembly because hes a phenomenal speaker and Disappear got like 1000000 views over night.

Zoe and Connor bond a little bit in a short scene before the assembly

Zoe: wheres Evan what happened?

Connor: Kleinman Did!

Zoe: what?

Connor: Why Do you care?

Zoe: because! you look happy around him!

Connor: i, i do?

Zoe: yeah? he could tell the worst joke ever written and you’d crack up. i haven’t heard you laugh like that in years Connor, maybe ever.

Connor: oh.

Zoe: Come back inside?

Connor: y, Yeah.

they all perform You Will Be Found together.

end act 1.

(no more dialogue from here i got tired)

to break in a glove is Connor’s dad trying to reconnect with him, it goes mediocrely, but Connor feels like hes being seen by his dad for the first time in years. its said in metaphors, but this is Connors dads way of saying that if Connor is willing to put in the work, so is he. they hug at the end, things are looking up. some talk of therapy is sprinkiled in the dialogue as they walk of stage together.

Only Us is Evan and Connor saying that they saved each other. its loosely romantic, as its a love song, but they don’t out right say that they’re in love or anything, they don’t know if theyre ready for that. its a promise. the song ends with Connor finally apologizing for pushing Evan over at the beginning of the show.

good for you is sung by jared only, as a power ballad, about losing people you didn’t treasure. its his attempt at an apology, but it ultimately fails, since jared is unable to take responsibility for his own actions. this is where jared and Evan go their separate ways.

Evan’s mom comforts him, as he sings words fail, which is about specifically jared, and how their rocky friendship is ruined and Evan pegs himself as the cause, instead of parents or perfect girl he uses metaphors that apply to best friends— maybe more. and talks about how he didn’t try, he was happy so he ignored that jared was hurting, and how that was really shitty of him. but instead of it being a generally somber song the end is lighter, because Connor is there— waving through his front window.

Evans mom sings So Big/So Small as Evan steps out the front door to embrace Connor and they mime talking about jared, hug and take hands. the house moves off stage in preparation for the finale.

Connor and Evan open the finale saying each others names, and sing it together as the test of the cast (minus jared) joins in, Evans mom taking his hand and Zoe Taking Connors, Evans mom the Murphys and Zoe break off to the back where Evan and Connor finish the final “all i see is sky for forever” while looking into each others eyes, and finish the musical by embracing (maybe kissing if thats ur jam).

[stunt-lads]

Go off about richie ecks. Tell me about Richie Ecks. Gimme the good food, Ecks! Please, I'm starving. 😢

god 

fucking

richie tozier 

i love richie tozier so much lock, i love him to bits 

but that boy is so fucked up and he needs a hug 

lets operate under the assumption that richie is well loved by his family, like in book canon, he’s loved and appreciated 

but like the thing is...they live in Derry 

and we know how things are amplified in Derry, the good becomes bad, the bad becomes worse

and i imagine even good parents are gonna be distant in Derry. because that’s just how Its influence is. and let’s assume his well meaning and loving family is just a typical all American family, happy and healthy, but...richie’s afraid of going missing and that makes sense right? compared to Bill’s ‘deny and repress’ parents and Bev and Eddie’s ‘love is a means of control’ parents...yea richie has it pretty good. even if his parents maybe forget he exists sometimes. maybe wish he was someone else. maybe indulge him but it always feels superficial. 

and that’s Its fault right? lets say yea, thats the reason they’re distant. 

but like i feel like there’s a bigger reason we saw richie’s main fear as the missing poster. i know he said clowns scared him, and like sure, clowns are terrifying. i hate clowns and maybe richie shares that fear with me. idk

but i do know that when a kid like richie, one who has spent his whole life trying to make jokes, to make friends is afraid of something 

its usually a fear of abandonment 

i think richie is afraid of being abandoned because ‘what if they see the real me?’ and ‘if i don’t make jokes and keep them around are they going to want me to leave?’ seem like fitting fears for someone who makes jokes and can’t be serious for more than 10 seconds

and it also makes sense 

for a closeted kid

and 

like i know this is everywhere but like 

heres the thing, we see richie being locked in a room with clowns but that...that’s not the main focus is it?

the main focus is richie’s own dead body in a puppet form right? sure the clowns are scary but, a missing poster?, a puppet that is decaying and rotting?, being told someone knows his secret?

richie is afraid of abandonment for being gay (or bi/pan, i’m going off my own headcanon here for simplicity’s sake) 

and i think abt that a lot in regards to Ch. 2 (which yes ok ive seen 1 Time and i wanna rectify that as soon as my ps3 is unpacked) 

i imagine as an adult, losing the memories of Derry, forgetting abt the crushes he had on a couple of boys, how much his friends meant to him, probably left a lasting mark on his ability to form meaningful relationships 

but specifically friendships 

he makes a joke and expects a retort that never comes from a person who’s name is on the tip of his tongue but he can’t, no matter how much he wracks his brain, remember

or he’ll turn instinctively to make a joke or receive a high five and catch himself because he doesn’t know why that muscle memory is so fucking intense and people see him and think he’s weird (bc hes not famous yet so he can’t be eccentric) and don’t want anything to do with him

and then when he gets his memories back, after mike calls and he goes on stage and just fucking tanks it, those memories, those fears are resurfacing 

no one is going to want me around if i can’t make myself useful 

and he’s right right? i mean it would be nothing for him to just tank and become a meme before disappearing into obscurity. so when he sees his friends, remembers everything they’ve been through, he’s probably overwhelmed and terrified and he goes back to that easy “make stupid jokes to pretend things are fine” mindset

especially when he sees the men he had a crush on. 

and he

can

do

nothing

about it 

because they’re both married.

imagine that.

it’s no wonder he wants to be the center of attention. it’s no wonder that in 27 years his fear hasn’t changed at all 

because while this time he reads an obituary, it’s still the same isn’t it? 

because maybe it wasn’t him going missing that really scared him. maybe it was facing his own death. his own mortality. being forgotten. 

and he doesn’t want that. not even for others 

like he made a point to visit the synagogue even though he didn’t have to when they were trying to find their tokens. he reminisced about stan. did anyone else? 

no.

not while on their own. not really. not the same way richie did. 

and at the quarry, after It is defeated, they all miss eddie, of course they do, but it’s not the same is it? none of them cry about eddie being gone like richie does.

and sure, unrequited love or whatever could play a factor, but richie probably doesn’t want eddie to be forgotten. imagine how terrifying that would be to deal with, living your own fear of being forgotten and forgetting people important to you and then you lose someone you care about and you wonder ‘is this going to disappear again? am i going to forget again?’ as much as richie wants to believe he wants to i dont think he does want to

i think he wants to remember them. all of them. 

WHICH REALLY leads me to the whole heart of it!! 

richie tozier got the worst deal from the whole fucking thing didn’t he?

bill is married, he has a lovely wife, a nice home, a (somewhat) stable career that he doesn't have to worry about when he returns to his life 

mike gets to leave derry, finally, and travel and get away and not have to be the lighthouse for them all anymore

ben and bev get together, they’re childhood sweethearts, they get to ride off into the sunset together, have children maybe, definitely a dog, they get their happily ever after

and what does richie get?

a dead friend and a dead love interest. 

a tanked comedy career (because lets be real, it would be tough (if not impossible by todays standards) to come back from that).

a fear of forgetting the two most important people to him.

and the ever-looming reality that he’s going to die too one day and disappear into obscurity.