#not looking to fuck the hatman tonight

[forestshadow-wolf]

Trick or Treat!

Ao3 link || 2555 words

A novel concept if you think about it. what once started as a tradition to give a sacrifice in order to ward off ghosts – soap heard it started in France – now only a sacrifice of candy and sweets to children and the like.

Now soap sat in one of the loveseats in the rec-room, currently bugging the hell out of his lieutenant as he was trying to read. to be fair if the man really was annoyed, he'd tell soap to fuck off or he'd leave, so soap kept being a nuisance.

"You dressing up tonight, L.T.?" he had one leg thrown over the plush arm of the chair.

"What for, Johnny?" Ghost shot back with in an unamused tone, still not looking from his book. "Frankenstein" by Molly Wollstonecr- the rest of the author's name was cut off by ghost's fingers, soap idly noted.

"Fer Halloween." soap rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Aint that for kids? ' thought we were grown men in the military, last I checked." the Manc scrutinized, not even giving soap the time of day. speaking of which, it was still pretty light out and soap promised to help Gaz with his costume later.

"Nae! never too old for some free candy. besides even if there is don't you wanna dress up just for the hell of it, like when ye were a wee one?"

"Never done it before, don't see why I should do it now." ghost grumbled.

"Wha-! yu've never gone trick or treatin'? now yer jus pullin my leg." soap sputtered.

"Johnny, why would I lie?"

Soap frowned. well that's not very Halloween-y. he made up his mind then and there, time to make the skeleton man himself into the pinnacle of Halloween. he pulled out his phone and shot gaz a quick text.

~-~-~-~-~

Bubbles 🫧: gonna b l8

Hatman🧢: K

Hatman🧢: Y ?

Bubbles 🫧:  👻 never been🚪2🚪

Hatman🧢: 👍

Hatman🧢: need help?

Bubbles 🫧: set up 🍬? gonna take him out 2nite

Bubbles 🫧: i'll help u after I get him done

Hatman🧢: 👍

Bubbles 🫧: thx

~-~-~-~-~

"c'mon then, we've got some major work to do."

"what are you talkin' about?"

"I mean we've just been assigned a new mission." soap chuckled as he swung his leg off the arm of the chair and stood up.

"and what might this new mission be? and why wasn't I informed first?" said suspiciously, closing his book.

"'cus it's a special mission for me, I just need your help to complete it." he offered a hand to pull ghost up.

"uh-huh..." ghost took the hand, even as suspicion dripped from his voice, and soap could practically feel the narrowed eyes.

~~~~~~~~~

"sit." soap demanded as they entered his room. ghost took a seat on the bed, and soap set his hands on his hips. "so, what do ya wanna be?"

"... huh?"

"for Halloween."

"I thought you were supposed to be working on a mission, Johnny, not fuckin' 'round with Halloween costumes." ghost asked

"I am. what do you want to dress up as?" soap answered, as he sorted through his closet. "I got a vampire, though it might be a bit small on ya. Zombie but between you and me it's a little cliche. or- OOH! I have just the thing. wait here!"

soap sprinted down out the door and down the hallway, nearly pushing people out of his way in his haste. he flung open the door to the linen closet and grabbed the first set of whites that he saw — which was surprisingly hard to find amongst all the camo green and grey.

ghost was looking at the pile of crafts on his desk when he got back. he reached around ghost for a marker and scissors.

"ok stand up straight." he panted enthusiastically, unable to wipe off the grin plastered to his face. ghost did so, after a moment of staring at soap like he'd gone insane— which granted he might have but that was besides the point, because that had happened long ago.

as soon as the brit complied soap threw the sheet over ghost's massive frame.

"the fuck are you doing, Johnny?" ghost growled,as he fought off the fabric. soap shoved the marker and scissors in his mouth so he could catch ghost's hands in his own. as soon as soap grabbed him, he stopped struggling, and soap spit out the items in his mouth.

"jus hold still, I'm trynna do somethin'."

ghost sighed, but did as he was told. soap fixed the sheet so that is lay more evenly on his head and around his shoulders, it was oriented so that the corners were at the sides and front and back of ghost, and just barely dragged on the floor. he uncapped the marker and marked two little spots where the hard plate of Ghost's mask outlined his eyes. finally he allowed ghost to pull the sheet off. he phone buzzed in his pocket as he was handed the cloth.

~-~-~-~-~

Hatman🧢: recruited 💰

Hatman🧢: progress?

Bubbles 🫧: 👍

Bubbles 🫧: made him a 👻

Hatman🧢: 🤨

Hatman🧢: how original...

Bubbles 🫧: shut it 😡

Bubbles 🫧: it's funny

Hatman🧢: ...yuh huh-...😭

Bubbles 🫧: just do ur job chuckles mcgee

Hatman🧢: 🫡

Bubbles 🫧: 🖕

~-~-~-~-~

he shoved his phone in his pocket again, and got to work on cutting out some eye holes. this was definitely coming out of his paycheck later, or someone's gonna get some awkward linens. ghost went back to browsing his desk. he wanted to get the holes as close to symmetrical as possible without marking it because they really didn't have time to put it in the wash.

"what's this, Johnny?" ghost broke the silence. soap looked up from and saw ghost holding up the red skull from his costume.

"ah it's for my costume. I figured I'd go as you this year, but obviously I couldn't steal your thunder so a took some creative liberties." he said, ignoring the heat flaring in his cheeks — he refused to be embarrassed about it. why should he be, it's just a costume.

ghost hummed and set it back on the desk, before picking up the shirt and pants he'd picked out. soap went back to evening the holes of the sheet, being careful not to make them too big.

"you keep all your costumes?"

"uhh.. only the ones I worked hard on." he said absentmindedly, holding up the sheet to see how it looked. "'k come 'ere."

ghost walked over and soap threw the sheet over his head again, adjusting it so that it was oriented the right way. then he stepped back to see his handiwork. all things considered it looked pretty good.

"you'll have ta go without the mask or it'll make the look bulky, we might reapply the eye black. I'd say it's a sucessful costume." soap rambled, making micro adjustments to the sheet.

"we?"

"er- you. I mean you, don't really need my help with that I suppose." he stumbled over his words, having realized his mistake.

"wouldn't mind the help. if that's cool with you."

"cool. yeah cool. awesome. totally cool."

"Johnny."

"yeah i'd be happy to help."

"why are ghosts always cowards."

that shocked soap out of his idiotic stupor. "huh?"... intelligent, MacTavish...

"'t's 'cus they've got no guts."

"aye 'n' beil yer heild." soap huffed. "terrible."

soap's phone buzzed again, and he pulled it out of his pocket.

~-~-~-~-~

Hatman🧢: done. it's getting dark

Hatman🧢: progress?

Hatman🧢: gonna need 2 start on mine soon

Bubbles 🫧: done

Bubbles 🫧: ur room meet in 5

~-~-~-~-~

"gotta run, L.T., gaz needs help suitin' up. so... I guess i'll come by your room when I'm done?"

"sure. see you then."

soap nodded, and then he was off, speedwalking through the halls — mentally cursing whoever put his and Gaz's room all the way across base from each other. like what kind of system is it to split up a task force, that just seems idiotic and impractical.

he did eventually make it. and by eventually he means like... 3 minutes of faster than average walking speed. he's impatient, OKAY! whatever.

when he opened the door to Gaz's room the man was attempting to zip up his dress. it was form-fitting, and on the shorter side— ending around the mid-thigh area, if his father saw any of his sisters wearing it, he might have told them to go change —and just looked expensive. soap won't claim to be a fashion expert, but he'd say that it complemented Gaz's skin complexion rather well.

"are you just gonna laugh at me struggling or are you gonna help me zip the damn thing up, Soap." gaz hissed at him. soap snickered but helped him nonetheless.

"makeup or corset next? we can do the accessories after."

"lets do makeup so I can breath while it's done."

logical. soap respected that.

"fair enough. hey, remind me to tell my sisters thanks for making me help them with their makeup."

"so needy, Tav." gaz joked, and gave him a nod.

soap gave him a playful shove as he reached for the pallet of eyeshadow, and eyeliner.

"so i'm thinkin' a smokey eye, then some wings. we should have gotten you some pink lashes to go, but oh well."

"sounds good."

admittedly soap was a little rusty, since it'd been a while since he's had any practice doing makeup, but it turned out okay. the eyeliner was the hardest part since he didn't want to stab out gaz's eye, but all in all, things could have been much worse.

"did you know you stuck out your tongue when you're concentrating?" gaz mused.

"aye, I get it from my dad." soap laughed. "okay, up. lets do the corset now. what time's it?"

"almost 7." gaz said, checking his phone as he stood up.

soap helped him slip it on, then started lacing it up. he made quick work of it, not unfamiliar with lacing up corsets either. he supposed that growing up in a large family of almost all girls would give someone a wide variety of skills. he was careful not to make it so tight that gaz couldn't breathe, but tight enough to hug his body like the dress.

"'k choker, then nails. think you can do the rest yourself? I promised to help ghost as well, and i still need to get my costume as well."

"yeah, yeah. for sure."

soap helped him clasp the pastel pink choker around gaz's neck, then helped him don the red press-on nails, and he was out the door. he made a stop at his room for his costume, hoping that ghost would let him use his bathroom.

he arrived with a knock, and it opened for him easily, with ghost's greeting call.

"if you wanna take off the mask, and put the sheet on I can- " he was cut off when ghost pulled the balaclava off in front of him without much fanfare, just shaking his blond curls out with a gloved hand. soap quickly shook himself out of his stupor and tossed the sheet over ghost, fixing it so it sat correctly over his head.

"how's it look, Johnny?"

"definitely needs the eye black for contrast." he hummed. "can I pull this up?" he asked, tugging the front of the sheet up just a bit. ghost nodded and flipped it over so the front of his face was exposed.

soap grabbed the eye black from the desk and started applying it in thick steady swipes of his fingers. ghost let him do as he pleased, even closing his eyes to let soap get over his eyelids too. it was over just a little too quickly for soap's preference, but he pulled the sheet down and, stepped back anyways.

"ah, can I steal your bathroom for like, 5 minutes, I havenae had a chance to change yet."

"'course. I'll help you do your eye black when you're done." ghost nodded.

soap threw a thanks over his shoulder as he headed to the bathroom. he threw on the jeans and hoodie first, next came the holsters, which he strapped tightly to his thighs to accentuate his ass because that's what ghost does. he's sure of it. last he put the soft balaclava, and opened the bathroom door, with the red skull-plate in hand.

ghost had him sit on his bed, as he shucked off his gloves.

"what instrument do skeletons play?" soap smiled. "the trom-bone." he said at ghost's look

"Christ, Johnny, that was worse than my own." ghost chuckled.

ghost knelt between his legs as he applied the stuff to his eyes, and he likewise closed his eyes to let him work. and again it was over far too quickly. but ghost gave him a few extra seconds by attaching the red skull-plate for him as well.

"thanks." soap breathed, and ghost nodded. "wanna go get gaz, the see what Price decided to wear?"

"sure. hey- what happened to your oh-so mysterious mission?"

"this is my mission. we're going trick-or-treating." soap smiled.

"sly dog." ghost laughed, leading the way out of his door.

they got to gaz's door in no time.

"gaz! we're ready! lets go find the captain" he yelled, pounding on the door.

"I'm comin', I'm comin'" gaz laughed as he walked out. "looks good, Ghost."

"thanks. it was Johnny's work." ghost nodded.

"ach, it's nothin'" he waved them off. "any of ye know what Price is? he wouldnae tell me."

he got a resounding no as an answer... up until they got to price's office and knocked on the door. said man proceeded to open the door with a fishing pole in hand.

"how creative, cap."

"look it was short notice." then man defended.

"aye, except that I had time to make ghost a costume- " soap rebutted.

"it's a Linnen with holes in it." price interjected.

"help gaz into his costume— which looks fantastic if i do say so myself. and get changed into my own costume after helping ghost." soap powered on.

"whatever." price waved him off with a smile, and soap let it go with a laugh. " we all ready?"

soap and gaz nodded, and assumably ghost too from the movement of the sheet. then they were all making their way through base, going from door to door with pillowcases in hand. they all fit right in with the younger members of base that were trick or treating, and everyone else was dressed up as vampires and werewolves and whatever else they fancied. the longer they were out the more fun it seemed ghost was having, and there hadn't even been any alcohol involved... yet. that would come after collecting candy, so that they could get piss drunk and eat enough candy to make them throw up.

they did make quiet a posse though. a ghost, a Ghost, a witch, and a fisherman. quite an odd combination, but if that didn't capture the high school experience of trick or treating then what did? once all was said and done, they even did the after trick or treating ritual of candy trades- one of his favorite parts, if he's honest.

[omgprofoundlycleverbouquet]

Phase 3:

Richard runs a hand through his hair shaking his head with a yawn when he closed his store doors behind him for the night taking in a deep breath he sighs as he tries to focus his mind. He had a long to do list and just finished one of his many orders leaving only having to simply make the exchange today.  Just thinking about still having other things to do gave him a headache though.

Rubbing his temples he decided to push the thoughts of his responsibilities aside for later. He returns his apartment in the Citadel. He strips out of his clothes and goes into his bathroom to take a nice long shower. Knowing he wasn't gonna be able to sleep tonight because of the last delivery he took one sobriety pill he keeps in his med cabinet and sobered up some more. A headache only fading away after his shower.

Feeling much better after his shower gets out and changes his clothes to his work clothes. A classic white lab coat with a white button-down shirt with a tie underneath, black pants with a dark brown belt with a black buckle and black shoes. After taking a whole 3 hours to freshen up he heads out of the room to check up on his client. Hoping they wouldn't be late again like last time. He also reminded himself to go check on his men later. Hopefully, they haven't killed themselves in his absence.

He goes to the meeting place and grains at the cold. Singing resignedly to himself. Rick taped his feet impatiently as he waited for his client to come. He waits for 10 minutes. He shivered when another brisk wind blows. God he hated being cold. He scratched the slight facial hair on his chin rubbing his eyes as he shook off his exhaustion. The bags under his eyelids were darker than normal seeing as he had to work double time for this project. It was the largest order that he had to do within a short period of time and the most annoying cause the client was a two-faced dick. Honestly, why did he do this job?

'Right the money think about the money, Rick.'

He mumbles to himself looking at his watch and getting madder with each minute that passes by. He growls under his breath saying ready to say fuck it and walking off and out of that cold as fuck dimension long after he thinks this though he gets a text.

Looking down at his phone he sees it's his client. They were running late and would be there in fifteen. He nods at the text sending a response back that he'll see them soon.

He waited the fifteen giving an indifferent look at the worker who came.

"Finally."

"Forgive the lateness." The hatman said bowing.

"It's whatever." He said pulling out his flash drive dimension. "Here you are."

"Thank you." He says handing over his flash drive before taking Rick's he looks it over Rick doing the same to one given to him before both of them nodded and shook hands.

"A pleasure doing business with you."

"To you as well."

With that both men went on there separate ways.