#not me series kink

[feedmefull1]

Can I flash you?

[zhouxiangs]

not me (2021) rewatch | EP 8: you're very good at biting

[libraryofgage]

Life in Miniature (One)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two Harley Quinn One 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedediah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One (you're here!)

There will be more Jedtavius in the next parts I promise, I just thought this would be a funner introduction to the AU lmao

I just love those little guy dudes from the museum so much hfjdks and now we get two pairs of them

Also, fun fact, I took Steve's Roman name from, like, an actual king of Rome. The actual sixth king. He seemed like a chill dude.

Anyway, there's a meme at the end and as always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

---------

When Robin took this job as a night guard, she didn't think the previous guard's words about history coming to life at night was, you know, real. She thought it was a joke, a predictable and corny joke, but a joke nonetheless.

But now, after being chased by a T-Rex, getting saved by Theodore Roosevelt, and almost being taken captive by fucking Attila the Hun, Robin thinks this job definitely isn't worth $16.50 an hour. Then again, this is the best paying job she's had in a while, and she was living a nocturnal life anyway.

Robin groans, leaning against a wall in the diorama exhibit, and slides down to the floor. She lets her head fall back against the wall, her eyes slipping shut as she slides. "This is crazy. This is insane. I need to find a fucking weapon or something," she mutters.

"Pardon me," comes a voice close to her head, "but might you be the goddess Diana?"

As pick-up lines go, it's not the worst one she's heard. And, based on what she knows of Greek and Roman deities, it wouldn't be too far off. Still, she does not want to be hit on by whatever weird historical thing is trying to flirt with her.

Robin takes a deep breath, opens her eyes, and says, "Do I look like a goddess to you?"

She looks to her left where the voice came from, blinking when her gaze falls on a figurine that would barely reach her ankle. He's dressed in a toga with a chest plate, wrist guards, a sword on his waist, and a deep purple cape over his shoulders. His hair is, honestly, the most impressive thing Robin has ever seen, made only more impressive by the golden laurels resting perfectly against his temples.

He's looking at her with wide eyes, more awed than anything else. "Yes," he says. "I have heard the gods are larger than life."

Okay. Fair.

"Why Diana, man?" Robin asks.

He tilts his head, studying her for a moment, looking her up and down. "You give me the same feeling as statues of Noble Diana with her Huntresses," he explains, pausing for a moment before adding, "A feeling of kinship, perhaps?"

Oh. This...this is like ancient Roman gaydar, right? Robin snorts and turns, resting her elbow on her knee. "I'm definitely not Diana. My name is Robin. I'm the new night guard."

His eyes brighten some, his smile growing wider and certainly charming enough to make the hearts of a few girls and guys flutter. "I am Servius Tullius, Sixth King of Rome, son of Vulcan, weapons master of the gods, and adopted son of Jedediah, Cowboy King of the Wild West, and Octavius, general of the Roman army."

Robin nods, letting all of the those words process in her head before saying, "Mind if I call you Steve? You look like a Steve."

The Sixth King of Rome blinks, looking slightly confused before his eyes light up with understanding. "Ah! A nickname! Yes, I am familiar with this concept. You may call me Steve, Lady Robin, as a show of our newfound friendship."

"Yeah, don't call me Lady Robin. Just Robin is fine," she says, hesitating before offering her hand to Steve.

"As you wish, Just Robin," he says, stepping carefully onto her hand and remaining steady as she raises him higher.

Robin blinks, frowning slightly and about to correct him again when she sees his smile and realizes it's a joke. "Okay, very funny, dingus," she says, carefully poking his side.

"Is dingus another nickname? It sounds like an insult."

"It usually is, but it's affectionate when I say it."

"Oh! Yes, like when Ockie calls Jed a philistine."

"Uh, sure," Robin says, nodding once as she lets Steve move to stand on her shoulder. He quickly sits, holding onto the collar of her jacket as she carefully stands up. "Hey, you know what I'm supposed to do about the dinosaur bones?"

"Rexy? Yes, he enjoys a game of fetch."

"Fetch. Of course."

----------

"What's going on in that head of yours, little man?"

Steve blinks, looks over at Jedediah, and raises an eyebrow at him. "I'm taller than you," he says, gesturing to the good inch he has on Jedediah.

"As long as you're my son, you're a little man."

Doing his best to not laugh, Steve nods once and points to the new diorama set up in the middle of the room. It's a circular diorama, centered on an equally circular stage divided into sections. A cacophony of noise echoes from it, clashing as each slice of the stage fights for dominance. "I'm trying to figure out what in Jupiter's name they're doing over there," he says.

"Well, most of it sounds like music," Jedediah says, "I think."

"It's not any music I've heard before," Octavius says, coming to a stop next to Jedediah and frowning at the diorama. "I would have assumed it the unholy shrieking of the damned."

"Perhaps it would be nicer if they weren't all playing at once," Steve suggests, hands on his hips as he tilts his head.

"Oh, boy, there it is," Jedediah says, his grin audible in his tone. "He's got the King Face."

"What are your intentions, my boy?" Octavius asks.

Before Steve can answer, Robin strolls into the room, grinning when she sees the raving diorama in the middle. She walks over to Steve, Jedediah, and Octavius, crouches down, and says, "Hey, guys. I see you're checking out the History of Rock display."

"History of Rock?" Steve asks.

"What in the sweet hell do rocks have to do with that mess?" Jedediah asks, gesturing to the noisy stage.

Robin rolls her eyes. "No, like, rock music. It's a genre. Anyway, it was sponsored by some musician, so it's a permanent display now."

"And they will be...playing every night?" Octavius asks.

"Probably."

Steve frowns a little more and nods, rolling his shoulders back. "If they are a permanent fixture in our hallowed hall, they must be welcomed. As Sixth King of Rome, this duty falls upon my shoulders. Fathers, I shall return shortly."

"Woah, woah, hold your horses there, little man," Jedediah says, moving to stand in front of Steve. "You're not going anywhere near that snake pit without some back up."

"A few centurions, at least," Octavius agrees.

"I will have Robin. What better protection is there?"

Jedediah and Octavius glance at each other before looking at Robin. She grins and offers them a two finger salute. "I'll guard him with my life," she says, "It's literally my job."

With that reassurance, Jedediah and Octavius move out of the way. Steve steps onto Robin's hand and settles on her shoulder with practiced ease, ignoring the nervous flutter in his stomach at greeting the new museum residents. He hopes they'll get along, but he also knows the might of his Roman army and the railroad workers can crush any who stand in their way.

Robin stops next to the diorama, tilting her head as she studies it. This close, Steve can see the bands playing on each slice of stage, the instruments and fashion shifting as his gaze travels around it. "Uh, excuse me," Robin says, raising her voice.

The raucous noise from the diorama screeches to a halt, the feedback making Robin and Steve grimace slightly. "Uh, hi. We're the official welcome crew for the Hall of Miniatures here. So, I'll need someone to represent your, like, whole display," Robin says, glancing over the bands until she finds one she recognizes. "Okay, I know you guys, so I'll be designating you the spokesband. Now, could the lead singer step forward?"

Steve watches as someone on the "Corroded Coffin" (what an odd name for a band) slice of the stage steps forward. Robin offers her hand to them, carefully lifting it away once they step on. "Great, uh, carry on, I guess. But, like, maybe play some of your quieter stuff for a bit," she says, her words barely out before the music starts up and the crowds start screaming once more.

She sighs and just walks over to the bench, letting off the person on her hand before letting Steve slide down her arm in a move they spent nearly three weeks practicing if only because they knew it would look cool.

When he hops onto the bench, Steve walks up to the other miniature, a man his age with long hair and odd clothes with tears that Robin once said were fashionable. His instrument is still slung over his shoulders, resting casually against his hips much like Steve's sword. Steve suddenly finds himself thinking that the man looks a little like a warrior. An odd one, to be sure, but a handsome one nonetheless.

He flashes his most charming smile, lets his shoulders relax, and says, "My friend here is Robin, Guardian of Brooklyn. I am Servius Tullius, Sixth King of Rome, son of Vulcan, weapons master of the gods, and adopted son of Jedediah, Cowboy King of the Wild West, and Octavius, general of the Roman army. You, however, may call me Steve."

-----

As far as Eddie was concerned, nothing mattered so long as Corroded Coffin got to keep rocking in an endless concert. The energy never waned, the set list never grew boring, and the music never stopped. He was ready to inform this welcoming crew of just that and promise Hell on Earth if they tried to disrupt the music (angry concert goers are a force of nature), when the words just died in his throat.

Because the most gorgeous man he's ever seen slides down that giant lady's arm, easily and smoothly landing on the bench. Somehow, his hair is perfectly windswept, the golden laurels glinting in the lights above them. His purple cape flutters softly as he walks closer, his toned thighs on full display with the toga hem that falls to the middle of them. There's a sword on the guy's hip, a chest plate that Eddie wants to pull off, a smile he wants to taste, and a pair of freckles right next to each other on the guy's cheek he wants to drag his tongue across.

He misses most of the introduction because he's too busy staring. He gets the important bits, though: Robin, a king, son of a god, adopted son of two dads. Eddie licks his lips nervously, a grin of his own tugging at his lips as he steps forward and playfully bows. "It's an honor to meet you, Your Majesty," he says.

It's supposed to come out joking, a little poke at the guy's authority to see if he can be riled up. It actually comes out way too genuine, and Eddie has a sudden realization that he meant it. He absolutely will accept this guy as his king, actually. He'll fall to his knees before him right now if asked, and not just because it might give him a little peek under the dude's toga.

"Please, just call me Steve. There's no need to be so formal."

Eddie bites the inside of his cheek, hoping Steve doesn't realize that the things Eddie is thinking about (the things he wants to do to and with Steve) are just about the least formal things on this earth. "Good to know," he says, relieved his voice sounds normal as he stands up straight and offers his hand. "Name's Eddie Munson, uh, lead singer of Corroded Coffin."

Steve blinks, and his smile becomes a bit more genuine as he steps closer and clasps Eddie's forearm. "A fellow leader," he says, squeezing Eddie's arm. "Welcome to our museum."

"Y-yeah," Eddie says, his arm still tingling when Steve lets go. He clears his throat, idly tugging on a few strands of hair. "So, uh, what's the deal around here? I mean, giant women...Roman kings...cowboys, it looks like."

"Our noble museum is home to Pharoah Ahkmenrah and his tablet, which brings the exhibits to life each night," Steve explains.

"There's a few rules, though," Robin says, sitting down on the bench behind Steve. "One, no getting into fights. Two, be back in your display by sunrise. Three, no leaving the museum at night."

"What? Why not?"

"We have lost good exhibits to Sol Invictus's morning rays," Steve says, frowning slightly. "So, be careful."

Eddie stares at Steve with wide eyes as he nods, amazed at the fact that Steve seems to talk like that so genuinely. And the fact that Eddie is...kinda into it. Holy shit, that's not helping with Eddie's whole "fall to his knees" thing. He wouldn't mind some good old-fashioned worship if Steve would just smile at him again.

Maybe his prayers are heard, because Steve smiles at him again. "Wonderful," he says. "Now, Eddie, could I interest you in a tour of the museum tonight?"

"Oh, you could interest me in a lot of things, sweetheart," Eddie blurts out, his mouth running faster than his brain.

He snaps his jaw shut, relieved and horrified at Steve's slightly confused expression and Robin's "I know what you are" thousand-yard stare from over his shoulder. Before he can try to backtrack, Steve snaps, understanding in his eyes. "Ah! Sweetheart is a nickname, yes? I accept your offer of friendship."

Eddie clenches his jaw, stopping himself from saying that it's more than friendships he's offering, and smiles. "Yeah. A nickname. That's all. I'm just...a nickname kinda guy. I'll probably think of more, too, Stevie. Like that."

Steve practically beams, and Eddie feels his knees go weak. "I look forward to it," he says, turning on his heel to look at Robin, who thankfully schools her expression. "Robin, this is where we leave you for the night. You have my word that Eddie will be back in place before sunrise."

"Well, you two kids have fun," she says, grinning in a way that immediately puts Eddie on edge. "I'd better not hear about any funny business, though. Absolutely no bases should be reached tonight, and you'd better not do any conquering or pillaging."

She definitely looks at Eddie when she says that last bit. Eddie stiffens, doing his best to hold back a blush when Steve glances over at his, the confusion clear on his face. "Conquering requires more planning than this, Robin. I've told you before."

"Don't worry about it, dingus. Just have fun. Here, I'll even call a ride for you," she says, winking at them before turning, holding her fingers to her mouth, and whistling sharply.

Steve walks over to Eddie right as the ground starts to shake, easily catching him around the waist before he can lose his balance. "The shaking does take some getting used to," he says, his tone full of sympathy and obliviousness to the crisis Eddie is experiencing.

When his brain finally catches up enough to ask what he's talking about, a dinosaur skeleton slides into the room, its body wiggling excitedly as it growls. Eddie jerks back, the arm around his waist tightening some. "What the fuck?!" he shouts.

"Worry not," Steve says, leaning closer. His voice is a little softer now, his breath fanning over Eddie's ear. "This is Rexy, our steed for the evening. He's very friendly."

"Friendly," Eddie mumbles, letting himself be dragged over to Rexy and placed on the dinosaur's head by Robin. "The dinosaur is friendly."

"Many of the exhibits are," Steve tells him, grinning brightly as Rexy begins moving after a pet on the snout from Robin.

Eddie looks at him, feeling blinded by Steve's smile once more, and completely forgets about the living dinosaur skeleton.

--------

Lemme know if you'd like to be added to the tag list!

(Also I know there are like one or two upcoming parent AUs that people have asked to be tagged in and I tried to see if this was one of them but couldn't find anyone for the life of me hfjdks so I'm sorry if you asked on another post and I missed you orz)

And, finally, a meme for you

[danibee33]

i gotta go.

[bird-inacage]

A Love Sea Gifset | "These two trinkets are the only ones in the world. This one represents you. And this one represents me. They symbolise the story of my life. See the missing heart? It's no longer with me. Because it's with you."

I love, love tactility. I'm obsessing over the fact that Mut made this with his own hands. He puts it onto Rak's wrist himself. Rak then cruelly throws it back at him, and tries again later to let it out of his grasp. He returns to Mut with the bracelet in his outstretched palm like an offering, and clutches onto it like a lifeline. They both like stroking Mut's trinket like a good luck charm. Umn um um, good shit.

[sunsetdesire]

autism sex aka i lean over you to give you a sloppy handjob while i tell you the entire plot of jjba part 7, including the internal nuances and how i believe the characters to have felt, i'm so focused on jojo that i don't notice you've cum all over my tits until you're begging me to stop from the overstimulation :)

[secriden]

tongrak and his 'i'm about to have glorious jealousy-induced possessive!kink sex' shirt

lets talk about how tongrak puts on the same shirt. sets the scene up so that mahasamut is going to come find him. clearly at least encourages if not instigates the drink with another man. smiles when the other man holds his hand and only pulls away once he knows mahasamut is watching.

(i love the implication that mahasamut was glaring SO HARD the guy noticed him in his periphery and knew it was because of tongrak)

when mahasamut slams his hand against the wall over his head, tongrak visibly shuffles his feet forward whilst leaning back against the wall so he's even smaller/shorter than mahasamut. claims to have been touched at his waist and thigh (...?? when??). grasps at mahasamut's shirt as if to pull him closer even as he's shaking (in fear? excitement? both?). literally does that thing where he moans into the kiss.

then has the audacity to bite his lips and smile possibly the most smug smile ever as he remembers the moment.

[mortimerlatrice]

illustration for Glint In The Cloud, by @nyxelestia for the @kinnporschebigbang!

[foxstens]

i really love how highly neil thinks of kevin as an exy player specifically

[feedmefull1]

Always hungry and growing 🤪

[twig-tea]

The Trainee ep2: I am Seated

I am buzzing after The Trainee ep2. I love when a show sets up characters with clear arcs and then delivers on their journeys perfectly, and this show is being so smart about what it's laying down. We got a perfect introduction to Ryan and Jane in ep1 and in ep2 we're already seeing movement in their arcs in the direction the show has flagged. This is smart writing!

Ryan is a frustrating but lovable character; he is smart and competent he just has no drive and is unsure about his place in the world and his role in it. In other words, he's young and inexperienced. And he's in over his head; he signed up for this internship because his friend dragged him to it, and went for it because they hired him and he doesn't know what else to do with his life. He is clearly driven by doing a good job and being appreciated; the client at his parent's print shop liking his work was motivating for him, and the show has shown us that he keeps that place running. He actually has the makings of a great AD--noticing where other people fall short and pre-emptively filling those gaps, prepping so that when other people get to their next task their prep is already done, understanding all of the different pieces and how the need to fall into place; all of that will make him great at the job. But he doesn't know anything about making content and he isn't self-driven or motivated enough to do any reading on his own, at least not yet. I love how honest he is: He did not brook any trash talk of Jane after Jane showed up for him, and he recognizes his own flaws and doesn't want to be a burden. His hesitation is understandable considering his ignorance, and my frustration with him is mostly that he hasn't tried to address that in himself yet, but I also get it because he wasn't sure he wanted this role in the first place. I'm really excited to watch him fall in love with content creation, and with Jane, and to see him hone his skills.

Speaking of Jane, I love this character. He's grumpy, but the show has given us so many reasons why (all of whom are his colleagues, who seem to be unable to do anything without him while constantly talking badly about him behind his back). He's rude because he needs to be in order to get anything done at this place, and frankly, probably because he can be--he's so integral to this workplace that nobody can tell him to tone it down, even when it's not workplace appropriate. Baimon is a classic boss--charismatic but useless, and he clearly looks to Jane to solve any problem that comes up. I've worked with people like Jane before; so competent that they get away with being rude AF. And he's not actually a bad boss, is the thing. He gets annoyed and says so, but he doesn't hold Ryan's ignorance against him. Despite being frustrated that he wasn't given someone with experience to help him, he asked Ryan for his ideas on how to solve a problem, and then trusted him to execute the task. He calls Ryan out for being so slow to speak (this man is on a constant urgent deadline!), but still waits to hear him out. When Ryan admits he made a real mistake, Jane explains what he did wrong and how to avoid it in future. This is something I see people get twisted all the time: someone pointing out a mistake, even getting annoyed by it, and asking for it to be fixed, is not actually the same thing as not letting anyone make mistakes or being someone to whom you can't admit a mistake. Jane gave Ryan a chance to problem-solve, assigned him meaningful work, gave him credit for a good job, explained where he went wrong when Ryan admitted a mistake to him, helped him fix it, and let him make his own choices about staying or going. He said, if you don't like this job, you can quit, but I think you would be good at it. He sees potential in Ryan, and I am so excited to watch Jane turn Ryan into a competent colleague and then something more. In the meantime, please sign my petition to get Jane a minimum 2-week vacation and a skilled assistant.

Beyond these two characters, the humour is hitting for me, the work tension is so real, and the side characters are a lot of fun. Every one of the interns is nuanced and seems to have an arc ready for them, which I absolutely love. Pie is competent but self-interested and not a team player (happy to use Ryan to either help achieve a goal or throw him under the bus). Teh lacks confidence. Pah needs to learn to take things seriously. And this show so far is showing me that it's smart enough to deliver.

TL;DR The Trainee is excellent and I'm having a great time!

[zhouxiangs]

way, you don't have to follow him.

[cevansbrat0007]

Make Me Series Masterlist

Summary: Feeling bratty, you decide to test your man's patience. Too bad it's looking like your mouth just wrote a check that your ass can't cash.

Warnings: Daddy!Kink, Smut, Brat!Reader, Some DubCon, Degradation, Ass Play, Spanking (With Implements), Butt Plugs, Manhandling, Light Bondage, Minor Chase Kink, Games, Cursing, Minors DNI

Notes: The following is the first bit of Fanfiction I ever wrote for Tumblr. Although I've recently made a few minor edits, I am no longer currently writing Chris Evans RPF. Please heed the warnings and let me know what you think. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated and encouraged. ___

Make Me: Part One - Always give Daddy what he wants.

Make Me: Part Two - You disobeyed Daddy. Now it's time to run.

Make Me: Part Three - Daddy wants to know if you’re gonna take your punishment like a good girl. 

Cereal Brats: A Make Me Series Drabble - You decide to test your Daddy's patience while out grocery shopping.

[artfreaksmeout]

Thinking about a VegasPete Au where Pete is a lot older than Vegas (Like around Chan’s age). Pete gives Vegas one compliment and suddenly Vegas is infatuated and needs Pete to give him more attention (he has daddy issues okk😔). Pete on the other hand feels guilty for finding the young minor family heir attractive and cute.

[failed-feeder]

Tried to stop gaining, ended up gaining more

so I tried to loose a little weight, didn't work. 🤷‍♂️ I ended up gaining another 10lbs so I'm now at a total of 213lbs. I noticed that I just can't stop eating, I got a donut for breakfast and a salad for lunch. I have been awake for 1 hour and I've eaten both and ordered another breakfast from doordash. I CANT STOP! My pants are getting really tight, I can no longer see anything below my belly, I jiggle with every step and I'm not sure if I fucking love it or if I should loose before I'm too far gone. PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE FOR EITHER CONTINUING MY GAIN OR STOPPING, BOTH WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

[sewerzombie]

gross sweaty nerd scientist ripping diabolical ass on unsuspecting coworker, more at 8