#not punched to ‘the point of returning home having learned a valuable lesson’

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

I find it a little annoying when it’s obvious that creators can’t make jokes without fanbases claiming it as “canon” immediately and forever.

Like if I were to make a story about some guy name Greg who works at a desk job or something, and then I make a joke on social media that’s like “oh yeah, haha, Greg also religiously worships Danny Gonzales” and then every time someone doesn’t draw Greg with a shine for Danny on is desk in fanart, they get flooded with comments saying “um actually 🤓☝️…” and everyone goes around saying it’s canon that Greg worships Danny as his lord and savior and goes to Danny church every Monday. Like. No. That was obviously a joke.

[lassieposting]

4 Times Lucifer Showed He Cared The Demon Way (And Thought Chloe Reciprocated) +1 Time He Tried Showing It The Human Way

AIT BUCKLE UP YALL BC IMMA GET ON SOME BULLSHIT 

prepare for a mess of a headcanon post in which i extrapolate wildly from single lines in the show, read way too much into interactions, and get very emotional

actual post under the cut because this is long as fuck, yo

1. Sharing Territory

Trust is the rarest commodity in Hell. Demons are aggressive, suspicious and territorial by nature, and taught from birth that you’re just as likely to be killed in a fight with someone from your own clan as you are to be cut down in a war with someone else’s. Maze recalls her siblings torturing one another, possibly for fun, and even among family there seems to be a certain level of wariness. Finding someone you can trust to share your space, someone who will keep watch while you rest, someone you don’t have to be so guarded around, is rare and precious and a big expression of real affection.  

In 1x02 Lucifer lets himself into Chloe’s home while she’s in the shower, makes himself at home, and starts making her breakfast. 

Now, Lucifer knows how door etiquette works. We’ve seen him learn about this, more than once. 

In 1x03, he barges into Linda’s office, interrupting another patient’s session, but in 1x08 he knocks on her door and waits for her to call him in. 

In 1x07 we see him ring Carmen’s doorbell and wait for him to answer, despite having a far better reason to barge in and wreak havoc (reclaiming his stolen wings).  

In 2x01, again, he knocks on the killer’s door and waits for her to answer it. 

So, this isn’t a case of “he’s not human, he doesn’t understand”. He only does this with Chloe. And it’s something he does repeatedly, even after he’s learned his lesson about knocking with everyone else - coming into her territory and leaving her, her family and all her things unharmed, showing her that he’s relaxed and comfortable in her space. And he gets the reaction he wants! She’s alarmed the first time she finds him in her kitchen, but as time goes by she gets used to it, accepts it as just one of his weird quirks, and no longer really bats an eyelid. By 3x05 she’s not even surprised to see him; she still ticks him off - “I said to meet me here, not barge in like you own the place.” - but it’s almost like she’s just saying it out of habit at this point. She’s not threatened by him at all. 

                                                               ~

We don’t know when Lucifer invites her to treat his penthouse the same way, but by the time she shows up drunk and trying to sleep with him in 1x10, he’s told her that “[his] door is always open”, an invitation to do the same. And she does (and has been doing already). Chloe is spectacularly comfortable appropriating Lucifer’s things. 

In 1x09 when they’re dueting Heart & Soul she lets herself in unexpectedly and takes a drink from his glass while they’re playing (and here you can see him raise his eyebrows and smile at her, but he doesn’t comment). 

In 1x10, she’s clearly intending to stay in his penthouse even after he tells her he was planning on going out, and she helps herself to his alcohol.

In 3x06 she’s comfortable enough with him to raid his closet, take over his home without his knowledge, try to break into his safe and sleep in his bed. 

2. Hunting For Your Partner

Humans don't regularly hunt for their own food, but demons do - Maze asks Trixie in S4 at what age human parents teach their children to hunt, presumably because it’s a responsibility she intends to take on for baby Charlie. Now, to survive in a place like Hell, prey animals would need to be in possession of some hardcore natural defences; demons most likely can and do die in hunts. So providing someone with food would be a big deal; it shows how highly you prize that person’s wellbeing, that you’re willing to put yourself at risk and expend valuable effort and energy to keep them fed. 

Lucifer tries to make Chloe breakfast in 1x04. This is the first time we really see him do anything domestic, and it’s implied he’s actually pretty handy in the kitchen - possibly because he just likes human food, but also the time and effort he’ll spend making her a proper home-cooked meal is the closest he’s going to get to hunting something the size of a small airplane for her in Hell. 

                                                                  ~

Later, in 2x07, Chloe makes Lucifer and Trixie sandwiches. She goes to give Trixie the first one, because for humans it’s normal to feed your kid first, but Lucifer swipes it off the plate before Trixie can, claiming he’s “far larger and hungrier”, because in Hell the strongest and most vicious eat first (as with many pack predators). 

Lucifer later asks Linda what deep meaning the sandwich had - whether it symbolised Chloe’s trust - and seems bewildered that for humans, a sandwich can just be a sandwich. He also brings her homecooked food as an apology after standing her up, all of which seems to imply that Lucifer grew up in a culture where food is valuable and meaningful and an expression of deeper feeling. (This could also be seen to a lesser extent in Maze wanting Lucifer to make her a drink in 2x04, when she’s trying to redefine their relationship as equals rather than lord and vassal.)

3. Fighting Together

Demons do have a concept of loyalty. Maze says “You don’t let your girl go into enemy territory alone”, and it seems to be a principle that’s important enough to her that she’s including it in Trixie’s training - when Maze is going to Canada, Trixie tries to hide in her bag because Maze needs someone to watch her back. Maze and Lucifer are also incredibly loyal to one another in the grand scheme of things - regardless of their issues with one another, they are a united front against outside threats, at least before they both start developing human relationships. 

Lucifer is startlingly loyal to Chloe from the get-go, for someone who’s spent billions of years not being able to trust or lean on anyone except Maze. 

In 1x02, he stops chasing after Josh as soon as he realises Chloe has been mobbed by paparazzi, choosing instead to go back and defend her - even though this lets Josh, who needs punishing, get away. 

Now, in 4x01 Maze says that she (and probably demons in general) fight when they’re “Happy...or horny”, implying that fighting may be as much a bonding activity as a necessity. 

With the paparazzi mob, Lucifer goes in all guns blazing, making it personal - “Back off, you mouth-breathing scum!” - because he’s protecting her, trying to deflect their attention from her. But as soon as he notices she’s holding her own, with her fist raised to hit the guy, he gets all excited and encourages her to go ahead: “Let’s punch them all!”

He now sees this as an opportunity to bond with her, show her she can trust him to watch her back, and when she declines to start a fight he’s visibly disappointed.  

                                                                 ~

Chloe then joins the illegal Lux party in 2x09. 

Now, she’s spent most of the episode being sensible and rational about the fact that really there’s not a lot she can do, which was understandably upsetting to Lucifer - it’s the first time he’s really seen his detective not be able to fix a situation. He goes to her repeatedly for help throughout the episode - he either hasn’t realised or doesn’t want to accept that the law has her powerless here - and sees it more as “her not being on his side” than “her not actually having any power over this situation”. 

Her joining his sit-in reaffirms to him that he matters to her; that she has his back even though she has no personal stake in keeping Lux’s building from being demolished. This is all the more poignant for him because he’s very vulnerable at this point; he’s not just on the verge of losing his home, he’s also dealing with his mom’s manipulation and abuse, his own emerging human emotions, the new distance in his relationship with Maze. He believed he was completely alone in this. Chloe’s public show of support means a lot to him, and he even talks to Linda about how insanely grand a gesture Chloe’s saving Lux is to him - he’s never been given something without strings attached, without having to give something in return. 

4. Your Enemies Are My Enemies

Making enemies in Hell can be lethal. Retaliation for a small slight can turn vicious in an eyeblink and generally it's not a good idea to get involved in someone else's grudges if you want to avoid a knife in your back. Adopting someone’s enemies as your own enemies, defending them against said enemies, inserting yourself into their preexisting quarrels as backup, is a big show of loyalty. 

Lucifer is always getting in on Chloe’s arguments. Constantly. 

From what we’ve seen and heard, Lucifer’s family isn’t big on backup. We’ve only got Lucifer’s word, and he’s very biased, so he’s not the most reliable narrator, but we can see it in the way Mum and Amenadiel behave. 

When Lucifer is rowing with his mom in 2x08, Amenadiel doesn’t intervene at all. He’s already said that he’s on his mom’s side at this point, but he doesn’t defend her, either; he avoids the confrontation altogether. 

Lucifer says that none of his family defended him when he was thrown out of Heaven, repeatedly, and with increasing bitterness the more he realises that the way his family treated him is a) abnormal and b) abusive. 

Early Lucifer seems to have picked up this trait. He doesn’t involve himself in arguments unless he’s getting something out of it; when Maze and Amenadiel are about to throw down in 3x11, he literally sits back to watch with popcorn, despite knowing that this fight could go very badly for Maze. 

With Chloe though, he starts jumping in from Actual Day One. 

When Dan is gaslighting Chloe in 1x01, he stands up for her immediately: “She is smart. You’re the dimwit.”

Then he punches out Paolucci for calling Chloe a bitch in 1x05. Chloe tells him not to, that she can handle her own problems, and Lucifer not only tells her that she absolutely can but also clarifies to Paolucci before punching him that he’s not sticking up for Chloe. But the message is pretty obvious all the same: if you have a problem with her, I have a problem with you. 

                                                              ~

Chloe then refuses to call him a liar at Perry Smith’s trial in 2x10.

There is no one - not one single person - in Lucifer’s life who hasn’t betrayed him when it mattered. Even Maze, his oldest friend and closest confidante, goes behind his back in S1 to get them both sent back to Hell against Lucifer’s wishes. 

Calling him a liar would benefit Chloe. She has a vested interest in getting her father’s killer convicted. She’s been offered the guy’s own lawyer’s help in getting a guilty verdict, if she humiliates Lucifer. 

Anyone else in his life would absolutely take those terms. 

But she not only refuses to turn on him, she tells an entire room full of people that he never lies, that he’s the best partner she has ever had, and that a) she knows she can rely on him and b) she wants him to know he can rely on her. 

There’s an added layer of meaning in that the person she’s taking on is Charlotte. Chloe doesn’t know that she’s Lucifer’s mom, or what she’s really capable of, but Charlotte herself (without Goddess attached) has a reputation for being ruthless, surrounded by shady people, and an absolute shark in the courtroom. Having Charlotte defending him vastly increases Perry’s chances of getting away with murdering Chloe’s dad. It goes against Chloe’s own interests to defend Lucifer. 

But she does anyway.  

+1. Spawn Care

This one is...pretty much pure headcanon, but two things are clear from canon: 

1. If Maze’s family is typical for demons, their family bonds are neither close nor particularly affectionate, but

2. They do/are meant to have some input in raising their children - Maze talks about teaching young to hunt as a parental/family responsibility. 

Lucifer becomes a major adult in Trixie’s life by default thanks to his relationship with Chloe, but despite his intense dislike of children in general, he actually tries really hard to be good at it. 

Lucifer doesn’t have a model of good parental behaviour to draw on. Chloe is the first competent, loving parent he’s spent any large amount of time with. What he has is an eternity’s worth of child abuse, gaslighting, manipulation and scapegoating by his own family. But if you look at how he treats Trixie, he puts a lot of effort into not just tolerating Trixie for Chloe’s sake, but being a good influence - or, what he considers a good influence - and a third parent-type figure for her. 

In 1x01, he intervenes immediately when he notices Trixie’s distressed by Dan and Chloe arguing in front of her. It comes across as a throwaway comment, but it seamlessly breaks up their hostility by redirecting Dan’s attention and deflecting the shot he takes at Lucifer. 

In the same episode, he also takes enough of a liking to Trixie (or Chloe) that he takes it upon himself to scare the bejeezus out of her bully, even though the kid is like 12 and has not done anything as heinous as the shit that normally makes him show suspects his eyes/face. 

In 2x02, he spends a large part of the episode arguing on Trixie’s behalf that Chloe should get her the doll, to the point of telling Chloe she’s being a bad parent. Which would be a really petty and honestly irrelevant hill to die on, except that Lucifer’s own upbringing was horrific and he honestly believes she’s somehow damaging Trixie emotionally here. He doesn’t want her to end up with the kind of issues he has. He’s genuinely trying to advocate for her. And when Chloe doesn’t listen to him, he buys the damn doll himself and tells Chloe she can say it’s from her, because he’s very invested in a) Trixie’s wellbeing and b) Chloe’s being a good mother. 

In the 2x07 sandwich scene, he actually seems disappointed that Trixie doesn’t challenge him over stealing her sandwich - he even asks Chloe is she always like this, like her generosity is a fault. My personal headcanon is that demon spawn would’ve done exactly that - he’s not exactly family, but he’s close enough that he’s a safe bet to practice one’s intimidation skills on, because he’d never really harm Trixie. He’s trying to teach her something, something he knows she won’t learn from her human parents. Maze contributes to raising Trixie by teaching her to fight (and babysitting) and Lucifer is doing the same, trying to pass on what he considers a useful life skill - something that has probably helped keep him alive in Hell for billions of years. When Trixie leaps off her stool and runs at him, his flinch/hands raised/ “GAH!” reaction looks overdramatic even for him; maybe if she hadn’t given him five and raced off, he might have handed over the sandwich and considered it lesson learned.

And in 2x15, he offers her driving lessons in exchange for her playing along with his trip to the school, which says a lot about how much he really likes her: he intends to teach her himself, and in his own car. The Corvette. His baby. Lucifer does all sorts of shady shit through his favours; finding someone to safely teach an eight year old to drive should be easy! 

(Also, honorable mention for him hulking the fuck out when Tiernan’s gunmen threaten Trixie and Eve in his penthouse. Was there any need to shatter his own wall? Probably not. Did he do it anyway? Absolutely. Because children are hideous little creatures but that one is his hideous little creature.)

In conclusion: Lucifer is not remotely subtle about his feelings, Maze feels highkey sick watching them interact Ever, and Chloe’s thing with Pierce throws him so off guard partly because they’ve been in the Hell equivalent of A Relationship for like three years. 

[gracekraft]

Steven Universe - Punching Up

It’s the end of the year and I wanted to spend time reflecting on the Steven Universe comics that I spent the better part of the year writing.  I feel like they come out so fast that I don’t have time to properly talk about them.  So as the volumes have started coming out, I thought I would take some time to talk about each of the stories featured in each collection!

Issues #5-#8 are collected in this Steven Universe Punching Up, #5-#7 are stories I wrote while #8 was written by the incredible Melanie Gillman!  The stories featured in here were some of the first stories I came up with when I pitched them to Boom.

Issue # 5 - A Day in the Life of Lion

Illustrated by the stellar Meg Omac! ( @magecom )

I always thought it might be fun to make a story featuring the kind of mischief Lion gets up to when Steven is around, which seems to be like 80% of the time.  I also remember there was a Steven Universe panel a while back where a little kid asked where Lion was, so I thought kids might enjoy a Lion story too.

I was honestly a little surprised I was allowed to do this since it’s a departure of the Steven’s point of view only that the show goes for.  I normally try to keep to that in writing the comics but thought it might be fun to deviate away from it slightly.

This story is essentially a series of vignettes about Lion’s day, so pretty much exactly what the title says.  I always love those episodes in a show where they deviate away from the usual story and story-telling format where we get a glimpse into the life of a character we don’t see as often but their POV on events is refreshing.  I also love those stories about the secret life that pets lead when their humans aren’t around a la Hamtaro.  Sadly Lion does not have a fun crew of other magical lions to go on adventures with, but he still gets up to some innocent mischief around Beach City.

Lion and cat Amethyst’s shenanigans were definitely inspired by a super old comic I made about them interacting.  I always thought it would be cute if Lion was curious about cat Amethyst and took care of her like a little kitten.  Cat pals!

Lion messing up the things in Pearl’s room is definitely taken from many an experience of my dog doing the same.  He gets into anything that isn’t behind a closed door or out of his reach, and it’s not unusual to come home the a grand mess.  Sadly no matter what you say he won’t understand you, only act innocent and leave the scene of the crime.  Thus Lion is no different.

Lion’s adventures on the boardwalk were fun.  Sadie and Greg are some of my favorite humans, so I enjoyed giving them a little spotlight, especially with their wariness yet acceptance of the magical pink lion that inhabits Beach City.

I thought a short detour to Rose’s fountain would be a nice peaceful, introspective moment within the comic.  But even when it seems a little deep, Lion still has his cat antics and moves on.

I also wanted to give Lapis and Peridot a little spotlight since I always enjoy their barn life shenanigans.  I’m really happy with how Meg captured each of their personalities in this scene, it translated very well from the script!

Lion finally gets his lizard prey after traumatizing Peridot.  Honestly I still have no idea what those lizards are.  Tiny gem mutants? Gem-infuenced fauna?? Whatever they are Lion eats them so I continue to add them in.  And of course I had to end these adventures with a brief encounter with Garnet, who has a silent understanding of Lion.  And then bookending it with Connie and Steven’s return, blissfully unaware that Lion even moved from the spot they left him.

Peach Panther and Purple Puma

Illustrated by Rii Abrego! ( @riibrego )

My inspiration for this was Amethyst’s line to Pearl in “Back to the Barn” when she says “Hey Pearl, you should come wrestling with me sometime!”  I thought it would be fun to revisit the wrestling ring once more in the comics, Tiger Millionaire was one of my favorite season 1 episodes and we pretty much had seen the last of it in the show after “Tiger Philanthropist.”  Thus, this is supposed to take place later in time than it appears based on Amethyst’s season 1 attire in this issue, but sometimes miscommunication happens in the higher management.

I wanted to write a story where Pearl gets out of her comfort zone and lets loose for a while.  When I first wrote this story, I was still dealing with burnout and insecurity after my previous job ended, and I channeled that frustration into this story.  At the same time, this is also one of my more self-indulgent stories in that it’s filled with a lot of things I like (Beach City Underground Wrestling, Pearl and Amethyst having a fun time together, cute character shenanigans etc.) so it was great expressing my feelings in a story I especially enjoyed.

Inventing Pearl’s wrestling persona was really fun and I’m grateful to have had to chance to add something fun like that to the comic canon.  Between Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire, I figured Pearl’s persona should match the cat theme, and I really liked the sound of Panther (goes well with Puma).  Pink Panther already exists so I tweaked it to be the Peach Panther.  I’m super happy that Rii captured the exact look I was going for with Pearl’s outfit.  Pearl is not a fan of shapeshifting (and now we know why) so I figured she would be able to at least give herself an outfit and Steven would help jazz it up with the silly pink cat ears.

I’m not the most knowledgable about wrestling so I did a lot of research to get the names of moves right for Mr. Smiley’s commentary.  I also had to go back to see what the names of the Beach City wrestling team names were and what the individual fighting names were.  It was fun getting to pick my favorites to feature in the comic!

I loved writing the last page because it has those cute, wholesome interactions I am all about in Steven Universe.  I’m also super happy with how well my script translated to the final pictures!

The Crystal Gems and the Sea

Illustrated by Meg Omac!

I love revisiting tiny details from the show in the comics, and this one is no different with the focus on the Gem Sloop from “Cat Fingers.” I thought it would be fun to have the Gems and Steven go on a mission where they couldn’t simply warp there, a fun sea-faring mission!  There’s definitely several stories in addition to this one where I figure out a scenario that I’d like the write and then work backwards to figure out how the characters end up there.

Steven and Onion stories tend to involve G.U.Y.S or G.A.L.S one way or another, so I thought it would only be fitting to start the story off with them.  While Steven has matured quite a bit from the earlier days of the show, he still has a childish wonder about him, and I figure he still does that thing where he sees something in the spur of the moment and thinks about how fun it would be to also do that thing, and then he finds a way to do so.  While he won’t go to the extent of jeopardizing a mission to have fun, if he can still fit some games into a less dire mission then where’s the harm?

I’m really happy with how the character acting came out for the Gems’ and Steven’s interactions.  It warms my heart to see how the Gems have grown to trust him more and more as the show progressed.  I wanted to add some moments that reflected this growth and had fun writing it in.

Also I have to share the description I wrote for the eel monster because this is the kind of stuff I actually write to give an idea of what I’m trying to describe.  She also ended up looking like an aquatic cousin of Centipeetle, and Sea-ntipeetle if you will.

I see some folks picking these comics apart for details that hint at something in the show, but I’ll be completely honest, while I do my best to write close to what’s believable for the show, nothing ties directly to it.  Any monsters or instances that seem to hint at something greater are usually just completely coincidental!  But it makes me happy that folks enjoy what I add in the comics.

The action panels for the fight are some of my favorites.  They came out nice and dynamic are really convey the type of action I was hoping for.  Fun and exciting!

I always see some folks complaining about how “townie” episodes are boring filler, but I just can’t disagree more!  There’s definitely some townie eps that are among my favorite episodes, because even if they’re not about epic Gem adventures (though some still are) they feature important lessons for Steven to learn from his human half.  I thought it would be fun to have Onion and his Dad be integral to the mission because townies and the human half of Steven’s life is just as important and valuable.

And that concludes the issues I worked on in volume 2 of the Steven Universe Ongoing series.  I still really love this first batch of comics.  Rii and Meg really hit it out of the park and added their personalities to the comics and made for very fun reads!

[anthonybialy]

Trading Trade

Ruin finances to save Earth. Oh: you find the first more valuable? I guess globe-punching for a buck beats doing it just for fun. The profit contraption is a supremely cruel device designed to create nothing but profits for those born owning it. Meanwhile, self-made humans turn on cruelly indifferent contraptions that clear old-growth forest while profiting off feeding plastic bags to poor ocean creatures. Until there is a method for sellers providing what buyers need with incentives for efficiently using resources, we'll just have to stick with scorching. Hurry to enjoy shade before billionaires beat you to the last tree.

Being denied its benefits didn't inspire many of those suffering to learn just what the economy is. If painful experience isn't teaching, then reading certainly won't make the lesson settle. The treasure of responding to what others need is the one useful lesson to take away from a regrettable little era. Instead, a high percentage will take Treasury checks.

The world is full of issues to address, so we may as well get together to figure out if we can trade to at least temporarily alleviate. If you're hungry, sick, or sad, find a Sonic, doctor, or streaming service that will respectively accept currency to change your respective conditions. Paying others to fix what's wrong is not exploitation but an acknowledgment of reality. Eschewing the necessity of exchanges just makes them trickier, but you can try again if scarcity didn't teach well enough.

The only thing certain about shutting it down like a Gordon Ramsay bit was how many uncertainties would occur. Hearing about yet another business that disappeared and realizing what it offered was the worst symptom. But at least we got to pretend that staying at home watching the invisible depression monitor on the wall as keeping you healthy, which is as specious as proclaiming the economy only exists to exploit willing participants.

The chain reaction from chaining fundamental activity only surprised those who think infrastructure bills make us prosper. A rather unhealthy lockdown proved fruitless unless the goal was seeing how many others were harmed by each business shuttering for good over allegedly temporary responses. It really did turn out that we were all in this together. Search YouTube for way more fun ways to see dominoes tumble.

Acting like the on/off switch was within reach shows just how much those who loathe profits know about making them. An easy hand motion was the worst thing to anticipate while it was decidedly pointed downward.

Enemies of trade were surprised when the lights didn't return. Governors attempting to flip more vigorously just need a few more flicks. The view that the economy is a machine requiring no maintenance is one way to learn everything society's interdictors believe about commerce's inherently easy nature was dead wrong. But they did make something they already rendered way more taxing than it should be.

The same visionary economic scientists who dismissively wave hands at companies who can't find workers while telling them to pay more sure didn't seem concerned about erstwhile workers making zero dollars per hour. So, that's the tale of how everyone learned the real minimum wage.

It turns out work was more than a way to pay bills, which was something everyone should've known before the globe stopped spinning. Taking away the results of labor was one way to see how valuable work was. There are easier methods. You could read theories, and not ones from misery-inflicting commies, either. The reaction ought to have rotated around ensuring nobody's toil was ever treated as inessential again. Instead, a worker shortage is shrugged off as the cost of not doing business. Increase wages if you want employees, casually demand cruel proletariat lunkheads who are desperate to prove they've never managed a payroll.

Calculating scheming isn't that valuable to consumers. Those convinced that selling is exploitation could've learned that there's a balance where everyone plays a role. Instead, the wrong sort of opportunity-seekers went the calculating route by threatening to withhold service.

Promising bad things will happen without one's services is a fascinating outlook in its way. Those who used a pandemic to think they were in control the whole time think everyone in business is a wannabe mafioso, too. 

A certain type of politician loathes how much we thrive when we're allowed. Humans are almost tolerable when left to their own devices. Seeking permission or being ordered only adds a uselessly discouraging hassle. People figuring out what each other need allows for groovy cooperation. Their hippie dream was happening all along. They missed the amusing development because it took work.

Aren't you glad you were kept safe? You just have to sit there and depend on professional parasites to dispense nutrients. Government's most earnest fans risibly think a global shutdown was a win for centralization because they can't differentiate between what happens and whether or not it helped. Those who took pleasure in denying yours have to remind themselves to not cheer aloud for another crisis.

Seeing what happens when plans to preserve conditions crush them somehow isn't enough motivation to stop. The shutdown was big scheming in action, which confuses those who have made quasi-careers out of condemning the rich getting richer. It's uncanny how the wealthiest thrived again as a result of governmental intervention. People who never stop moaning about the alleged arbitrary nature of wealth sure weren't willing to let up on restrictions that made billionaires even more so.

The government will surely never run out of funds to redistribute. It definitely hasn't already happened. Politicians and sellout enablers will never stop conflating creation with Treasury printing. There are less painful ways to learn about inflation. For now, wish the best to anyone eating for a week after buying five days' worth of food. You know how to make everything cheaper? Start compensating the staff above the value they create.

[scaredofheroin]

Captain N - Chapter 21: Round Two

Captain N felt strangely uneasy as he walked back to the locker room. He could subtly glance out of the corner of his eye and spot other people eyeing him suspiciously. He knew using his given title was a bad idea. He swallowed the sinking feeling growing in his stomach and marched back to the locker room. The halls felt longer and more ominous, but he tried to ignore this feeling and soak in the feeling of his second victory in a row. Turning the corner to the locker room, he found Zelda and Pit waiting outside. "There he is! Two wins in a row!" Pit excitedly cheered, running up to high-five Captain N, which he gratefully returned. "Impressive work, Captain. I'm sure Dan will think twice before confronting you with such arrogance again." Zelda commented. "He won't!" Falco yelled from inside the locker room. Little Mac walked out of the locker room, about to head to the next match. "Your turn, champ." Captain N remarked. "Eh, don't worry about me. I've had by bouts with Soda Popinski before. He's a tough customer, but I always come out on top." Little Mac assured. Looking over his shoulder to the screen in the locker room, Captain N saw a large, muscular bald man with a handlebar mustache gulping down a bottle of soda in preparation for the match. Estimating from only the screen, he assumed Soda Popinski was a solid six to eight inches taller than him. "The bigger they are, the harder they fall, right?" He remarked, turning back to Little Mac. "...Yeah, that's a good point!" Little Mac agreed, taking a liking to the novel phrase. "Come on, Mac! Don't keep Soda waiting!" Doc Louis reminded him from inside the locker room. He quickly nodded and darted off to the next match.

"Wish me luck!" Little Mac yelled over his shoulder.

"Not like you'd need it!" Captain N yelled back.

"Round three! Not bad for someone who started training yesterday!" Pit congratulated him further once Little Mac had vanished from sight. "Hey, like Falco said, Dan was all bark and no bite." Captain N waved off. "Yeah, but that luck ends here. In case you weren't paying attention, your next fight's against Piston Hondo, some big-shot boxer who's losses can be counted on one hand. Little Mac fought him before, you shoulda asked him for advice." Falco spoke up. "And if you continue to fight as recklessly as you did when you fought Dan, you'll never win." Ryu bluntly added. "Right, got it." Captain N sighed, mentally bracing himself for his next fight. "Do you? There's more on the line than just your fighting career." Falco asked him, leaning forward to look him in the eye. "I do. It's not like I've got any other chores to do around here." Captain N shot back. "Hey, hey, Cap's proved himself to be a competent fighter. If he holds his ground, I'm sure he'll be able to take on Piston Hondo." Doc Louis intervened between bites from his chocolate bar. "Indeed. I imagine you've learned many valuable lessons on hand-to-hand combat so far." Zelda agreed. "Oh, for sure. If I got into a fight back where I'm from, I'd have been destroyed." Captain N admitted. Zelda and Falco shared a slightly uneasy look at this statement, but Pit was undeterred.

"Good thing you're here now! I bet you'd be one of the best fighters of your world once you've saved Yamajiro!"

"Oh, for sure! I doubt anyone else back home could claim to have fought in a fighting tournament!"

Falco quickly shushed the two as the next match started: Little Mac versus Soda Popinski. Pit ran up to eagerly watch the match right up against the screen, where Falco was casually leaning on a row of lockers nearby. Doc Louis moved closer to watch the match, while Ryu went back to meditating. Zelda watched the match from outside the locker room, and Captain N joined Falco and Pit. After the announcer loudly introduced the two with enthusiastic applause, the match began. Soda wasted no time in getting the first hit in, striking Little Mac with a powerful right cross. Captain N recoiled as he watched, as if he could feel the impact of the punch. Little Mac retained his footing, but was knocked back. Soda followed this up with two more powerful strikes, knocking him back further. Pit cringed with each strike, offering a "Ooh" and "Sss" with every punch. Zelda looked away, unable to watch such brutality. But when Soda went to strike Little Mac a fourth time, he weaved out of the way and used the opportunity to attack Soda with a flurry of left and right hooks. Captain N heaved a slight sigh of relief and Doc Louis chuckled slightly to himself. Pit nudged even closer to the screen as the fight went on. Despite the fact that Soda was almost an entire foot taller than Little Mac, he proved a worthy opponent for him. Captain N could tell the two had a history of sparring each other with how the two could almost predict each other's moves. This fight went on for notably longer than the previous matches. Each of the two managed to land more strikes as the fight went on, but neither fell. Suddenly, the fight was interrupted by a bell being rung, where the two fighters stopped fighting and stepped away from each other. Captain N could sense disappointment from the audience, as well as from Pit's annoyed groan. The goons atop the arena patrolled vigilantly, not terribly concerned with the outcome of the match. After a few moments went by of nothing happening, Captain N turned to Doc Louis.

"What just happened?"

"Timer ran out. Each match is only supposed to last five minutes. Now the judges gotta pick the winner" Doc Louis answered in between bites from his chocolate bar. Pit quickly shushed them as he watched intently.

Tensions were high as the audience waited for something to happen. Some murmuring could be heard from the announcer's box until the announcer got back on the microphone.

"AFTER DISCUSSION FROM THE JUDGES, IT WAS DECIDED THAT LITTLE MAC WILL MOVE ON TO ROUND THREE!" The announcer declared, earning cheers from both the crowded stadium and Pit and Doc Louis in the locker room. Little Mac pumped his fists in the air, and Soda rubbed his head, huffed an angry breath, and stormed back into the arena. Once Little Mac got back to the locker room, Captain N and Pit were quick to congratulate him for his victory. "That was awesome, Mac!" Pit cheered. "You took those punches a hell of a lot better than I would have!" Captain N joked, where Little Mac rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. Don't sell yourself short, Cap!" Little Mac insisted. Captain N rolled his eyes, smiling. "You know, if you two manage to claim victory in round three, you could end up fighting each other." Zelda reminded the two. "You better hope that doesn't happen, Mac. I learned a lot in these past couple hours." Captain N smirked. Little Mac laughed along, and the two went back into the locker room to watch the next match. Captain N spotted another man leering at him from outside the locker room, but quickly walked away. He was quick to wave off his own concerns, knowing he was safe among his allies. Little Mac and Pit joined Falco in watching the next fight, but Captain N decided to try to meditate alongside Ryu. He tuned out the sounds of the next fight and tried to transfer his mind to a more peaceful place. This proved rather difficult, with his mind drifting to thoughts of his next fight or the slight soreness on his torso from his fight with Dan. The commentary coming from Pit, Little Mac and Doc Louis didn't help either. Squeezing his eyes shut, he breathed even more deeply in and out to control his temperament. He could tell Ryu wasn't bothered even a little bit by the commotion without having to look over at him. Listening closely to Ryu's breathing, Captain N tried to match his respiration pace. With some determination, he managed to calm his nerves somewhat and focus on clearing his mind.

After what felt like half an hour, Captain N reopened his eyes and looked over to the screen to observe the fight. "How long was I out?" He asked Falco. Glancing over at a nearby clock, Falco answered "About ten minutes.". Ryu was still in deep meditation. He groaned at his revelation and turned his attention to the fight. The current match was between a man wearing an outfit resembling a police officer's named Kurtis Stryker and a young woman in a red, skimpy ninja outfit named Mai Shiranui. What surprised Captain N was seeing Stryker wield a handgun of some sort. Granted, it was different from any handgun he had seen on Earth, either in real life or in movies, but the sight was still intimidating. Mai managed to outmaneuver Stryker's gunshots, gracefully spinning and flipping around her opponent. She also held two paper fans as she twirled about as Stryker remained planted in place, aiming and firing at Mai. Just as Stryker went to reload his handgun, Mai suddenly threw one of her fans at Stryker as a distraction. When Stryker was disoriented, Mai unleashed a powerful wave of fire upon him. Captain N widened his eyes in surprise. He then quietly thanked his luck that he didn't face her prior. Stryker recovered from this blast of fire, holstered his handgun, drew his baton and charged at Mai. The two engaged each other in vicious hand-to-hand combat, blocking and weaving out of each other's strikes. Stryker was stronger than Mai, but Mai was faster and more agile. The fight threatened to extend past the five minute limit, but with a powerful roundhouse kick, Mai struck Stryker down. One countdown from ten later, and the announcer came back on the microphone to declare that she'll move on to round three. She happily waved to the cheering audience and skipped back off into the arena, with two R.O.B.s carrying off the unconscious Stryker. Captain N sighed in slight relief, now certain use of his Zapper and two Boosters wouldn't be frowned upon.

"What a match!" exclaimed Little Mac. "I couldn't imagine wearing something so... revealing." Zelda stated, flustered at the thought. "You have something like this back where you're from?" Doc Louis asked Captain N, tossing the wrapper of his chocolate bar into a trash can. "Well... kinda. We had professional fighting, but they were divided into different forms of fighting. And people generally aren't allowed to use weapons or... powers." He answered. "Sounds pretty boring." Falco remarked.

"Oh, hardly. Some fights can get really intense. Someone actually got their ear bitten off in a famous boxing match."

Zelda cringed at the mental image, but Little Mac and Pit were intrigued further. "Maybe you should focus less on combat and more on meditating." Ryu suddenly interjected, his eyes still closed. "Sorry! I've never had much experience with any kind of inner peace." Captain N defended. "How come?" Little Mac asked him. Captain N shrugged. "I just... never had a reason. Yoga is usually for meeting married women who don't get enough love from their husband."

Before any more questions could be asked, a voice came over the intercom, summoning Captain N to the gate. He stood up and tightened the bandages around his hand in preparation. "Firm, solid stance." Captain N repeated to Ryu. "Correct. Go on and claim victory." Ryu instructed. After waving a quick goodbye to the others, he darted off to the gate. There was a strange pressure filling the air around Captain N. As he walked through the halls, he felt the eyes of countless people burn into him. Maybe it was because of his rising fame, or because of a less desirable reason. Keeping his hand steady by his Zapper, he made his way to the gate. Upon arriving, the same man was waiting there, now more happy to see him. "There he is, Mr. Champion in the Making!" He happily greeted him. "I gotta say, I like that greeting more." Captain N joked. The two shared a laugh before Captain N steeled his nerve and adjusted his bandages. "AND NOW, FOR THE THIRD MATCH IN HIS CAREER, IT'S CAPTAAAAAAAAAIN N!" The announcer exclaimed, signaling him to run out to the ring. When the sunlight met his face, the audience cheered at his arrival. For a brief moment, he soaked in the feeling of having an entire stadium of eager audience members cheer him on.

"FACING OFF AGAINST THE YOUNG BLOOD, WEIGHING IN AT 174 POUNDS, GIVE IT UP FOR PISTOOOOOOOON HONDOOOOOOOO!"

A tall, muscular man with short dark hair, red boxing gloves and a white headband appeared from the other gate. The crowd cheered Piston on as he walked towards Captain N. While they were focused on Piston, Captain N could just make out a large man in a red uniform and hat observing the match from the press box. It almost looked like he was eyeing him, from Captain N's perspective. Seeing as how the goons patrolling above the arena still haven't intervened to apprehend him, he turned his attention back to Piston. Once the two were close to each other, Piston bowed at Captain N respectfully. Surprised by this respectful gesture, Captain N offered him a solid nod in return. "READYYYYYYYYY: FIGHT!" The announcer declared, signaling the start of the match. Almost immediately after the bell rang, Piston struck Captain N with a left jab. He didn't react fast enough to block the hit, and was pushed back by the punch. Holding his nose as he recoiled, Captain N kept himself from falling over and prepared himself for another hit from Piston. His senses were more attuned to small details in his opponent, which he learned from Dan and Glass Joe. One split-second eye shift was all he needed to know another strike was coming. Just as Piston threw a right hook at him, Captain N dodged out of the way, backing up slightly. What he didn't see coming was another strong blow from Piston, knocking him even further back. Piston was significantly stronger than Dan, so Captain N recoiled in pain much more from the hits. Piston was relentless, backing Captain N into a corner and assaulting him with a hail of left and right punches. Captain N tried to back away, but his footing failed him, and he fell to the ground. Piston towered over Captain N, who was now helplessly backed against the wall. Suddenly, Zelda's voice came to him in his mind. "You have weapons, use them!" She spoke to him. Remembering this, he hastily drew his Zapper and shot Piston in the knee. Piston collapsed onto the ground, holding his knee as he groaned in pain. Captain N backed away from Piston and looked around the stadium, as if expecting the audience to "boo" him for using a weapon. When no objections were raised, he got back up and trained his Zapper on Piston. His knee still sore, Piston got back up and rapidly approached him. Captain N tried backing up and firing at Piston, but he was too quick. Another strong cross from Piston knocked Captain N back down onto the ground. Ignoring the stinging in his face, he spun around and shot Piston in the chest, who fell over, clutching his chest. Wanting to seal the fight victoriously, Captain N stuffed his Zapper back in his pocket and delivered a strong right hook onto his opponent. Piston fell over unconscious, the crowd counted down from ten, and Captain N was declared the winner.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE POSSIBLY WITNESSING HISTORY IN THE MAKING! THE ROOKIE CAPTAIN N HAS QUALIFIED TO MOVE ON TO THE SEMIFINALS!" The announcer declared, earning another round of cheering from the massive audience. Taking a moment to soak in the victory, Captain N sighed in relief with a smile on his face. Looking back up at the top of the arena, he could tell the Koopa and Kremlings and Waddle Dees were growing impatient, as well as the man in the red uniform in the press box storming off. With two R.O.B.s carrying off the unconscious Piston Hondo, he decided to hastily make his way back to the locker room. Ignoring any possible people eyeing him suspiciously, he kept his hand on his Zapper and rushed through the halls. Upon arrival, he ran into Little Mac, who was on his way to his next match. "Knew you couldn't get this far without cheating." Little Mac smirked. Captain N put his hands up in defense. "Hey, if they didn't want me to do that, they wouldn't have let me do that!" He defended. Little Mac chuckled before leaning into Captain N's ear. "Hey, if I manage to beat Cammy in this next fight, and we face off in the semifinal... I'll let you win." He whispered to him. Captain N looked back at him in surprise.

"What?"

"If you're right, and there's some hidden weapon in Suzaku Castle that'll lead to Bowser, Dedede and K. Rool finally being taken down, I'm willing to accept losing a match."

"But- But you-."

"Captain, this is more important. It'll look convincing, I promise."

Captain N relented, sighing and nodding reluctantly. "...Well, good luck out there, Mac.". The two shared a solid nod before parting ways. Arriving back at the locker room, he found Pit and Falco waiting for him, with Zelda standing behind the two. "Smooth moves there, gunslinger." Pit remarked. "Okay, look, they said weapons were allowed. If he wasn't prepared he to bring a gun to a fistfight, that's on him." Captain N defended himself. "If it'll get us to Suzaku Castle sooner, I can look the other way on cheating." Falco shrugged.

"It wasn't cheating!"

"If the judges deem such actions within the rules, I don't see any need for debate." Zelda calmly interjected. "...You're right, let's hope he can just shoot his next opponent and be done with it." Falco said, walking back into the locker room to watch the next fight. "You okay, Cap? Piston was hitting you pretty hard out there." Pit asked him. Captain N rubbed a couple sore spots on his head, and shrugged. "Eh, I'll live." He waved off. Zelda looked at him with some concern, but he went back into the locker room to watch Little Mac fight Cammy White. Doc Louis was watching the match intently, and Ryu was still meditating. Once the match began, Little Mac held his arms up in defense, but this wasn't enough. Cammy struck him in the legs with a powerful roundhouse kick, knocking him off his feet. Little Mac limped back up but couldn't react fast enough to block Cammy's assault. Her strong kicks and superior athleticism were too much for even Little Mac. His experience was mostly against boxers, and had trouble defending his legs. Doc Louis watched nervously, hoping Little Mac would pull through. The longer the fight went on, the more worried Captain N grew. If Little Mac was having trouble against Cammy, he knew he wouldn't stand a chance. "Come on, Little Mac! You can do it!" Pit pleaded, but to no avail. "Right hook, Mac, Right hook!" Doc Louis said to him on the screen. Little Mac tried to exploit an opening with a right hook, but was quickly interrupted by another powerful strike from Cammy. With one final roundhouse kick, Little Mac fell to the ground, knocked out.

Captain N stood frozen as he watched Little Mac lay motionless on the ground. Cammy wiped sweat off her forehead and stepped back as the crowd counted down from ten. With each number, Captain N's heart sank further, his prayers for Little Mac getting back up growing more futile. As the bell rang once more and Cammy was declared the winner. Little Mac's motionless body was carried off by two R.O.B.s as Cammy walked back into the arena. As he stared helplessly at the screen, Captain N could feel the other five people present looking at him expectantly. An awkward silence filled the locker room as each person there tried to come up with a way to ease the tension. Falco was the first to break the silence.

"...Shoulda loaned him your Zapper."

Captain N hung his head, his hopes for winning diminished. "Hey, chin up, you've still got your weapons! All Cammy has is her punches and kicks!" Pit reminded him. This did little to restore confidence in Captain N. "I, uh... I better go check on Mac." Doc Louis spoke up, then rushing out of the locker room. The silence returned to the room. Captain N turned to Ryu for any kind of help. "Cammy is tough, but with courage and determination, you will prevail." Ryu assured him. Captain N groaned at this unhelpfulness. "Can't you just tell us where Suzaku Castle is now and stop wasting our time?" Falco shot at Ryu.

"Only when I believe you deserve such information."

"Alright, you listen here, because I'm only gonna-" Falco snapped, approaching Ryu. Pit was quick to hold him back. "Threatening the guy isn't gonna help, bird brain!" Pit said to him. Falco relented and stormed off to the other side of the locker room. "Perhaps Captain N should... continue to try to meditate. Going at this challenge with a level head could give him an edge." Zelda suggested. Not having any better ideas, Captain N nodded, got back on the bench, and got back into meditating. The room was much more quiet now, which helped him zone out. The thought of the fight ahead still haunted him. What if Little Mac got seriously injured? What'll happen to him? As he shut his eyes and tried to control his breathing, his heart still raced. He found little solace in this period of time, so it only felt like a few minutes went by when the voice over the intercom summoned him to the gate once more. Forcing himself to get up and walk out of the locker room, he turned to look at the four once more. Met with expressions varying in concern, he knew he couldn't stand here forever. His head hung low as he walked down the halls, now having essentially memorized the path. When he arrived, he didn't share any words with the man waiting by the gate, and waited for his name to be announced.

"AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST OF THE WORLD WARRIOR TOURNAMENT'S SEMIFINALS, NEW DONK CITY'S LATEST UNDERDOG, HEEEEEEEEEERE'S CAPTAIN N!" The announcer's voice once more boomed. After taking a moment to ensure that his Zapper and Boosters were still in his pockets, Captain N ran out to the center. Once more, he was met with cheering at his arrival, but he couldn't revel in the praise this time. Peering upwards, he saw the man in the red uniform still in the press box, watching intently.

"OPPOSING THE CAPTAIN, DELTA RED'S FINEST: CAMMYYYYYYYYYY WHITE!" The announcer continued. Cammy White then ran out to meet Captain N, being met with applause as well. When the two were within arm's reach of each other, Captain N clenched his jaw and looked her right in the eye to avoid looking as worried as he felt. Cammy clearly felt no such worry, with determination being the only emotion present on her face.

"READYYYYYYYYY: FIGHT!"

Captain N immediately jumped back to get away from Cammy. Cammy tried to get the first hit in with a roundhouse kick, but only grazed him. Her leg was still powerful enough to knock Captain N off his balance and make him fall on the ground. Forgoing any grace, Captain N scrambled away as he tried to pull his Zapper out. She knew what he was trying to do, and kicked his hand away. Striking him right on the wrist, he clutched his hand as he rolled out of the way. Once he established a safe enough distance away from Cammy, he got his Zapper out of his pocket and fired at Cammy. She was faster than his hand, and was able to avoid each and every one of the shots he fired. "Painful, isn't it?" Cammy asked Captain N. He didn't humor her with a response, training his Zapper on her. She suddenly rushed him and before he could react, Cammy disarmed him by grabbing the Zapper and tossing it away from him. The shock of being suddenly vulnerable was quickly cut off as Cammy kicked him in the face and knocked him onto his back. The pain of a possibly broken nose seared throughout him as he desperately scrambled away from Cammy. Looking to land the finishing blow, she ran towards him and leapt up in the air. In an instant, Captain N drew his Fire Booster from his back pocket and unleashed a small wave of fire. This was enough to disorient Cammy, who collapsed onto the ground, clutching her leg. Captain N spotted his Zapper, and clumsily dashed towards it. Cammy regained her bearings and spotted what he was trying to do. Like a puma, she darted towards him to finish him off. Dangerously close to being outpaced, Captain N dove onto the ground, grabbed his Zapper, spun around, spotted Cammy mere inches away from him, and managed to land a blast on her forehead.

Cammy collapsed, unconscious.

Captain N sat back on the ground as he caught his breath.

The crowd counted ten from ten.

Upon reaching zero, the bell rang once more.

Captain N won.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE UNDERDOG STORY OF OUR TIME! CAPTAIN N, THE NEWEST FIGHTER IN THE TOURNAMENT, WILL NOW BE MOVING ON TO THE FINAL ROUND!" The announcer cheered.

In the press box, M. Bison clenched his fists in fury. Kamek floated behind him, observing Captain N walk off and Cammy being carried off by two R.O.B.s. "You could sic your Shadaloo minions on him right now, Bison." Kamek reminded him. M. Bison huffed an angry breath in response. "His luck will run out." He stated. Kamek groaned at his stubbornness. "If you allow Captain N to escape-"

"I KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES, WIZARD!" M. Bison suddenly roared at Kamek, his eyes glowing. The two glared at each other, but nothing more came of the confrontation. The two remained in silence throughout the next match, though tensions still ran high in the room. The Koopa and other minions above were clearly growing impatient, and M. Bison could tell some of them were planning on going rogue and charging at Captain N. Below, the finishing blow was landed, and the match ended. The winner walked off victoriously, and the loser was carried off by two more R.O.B.s. The intermission period began. In twenty minutes, the final round will commence. The large screen above the stadium lit up for the final two contestants.

"CAPTAIN N VERSUS SCORPION"

M. Bison grinned an evil grin.

"Perfect."

[ramajmedia]

The Simpsons: 10 Times The Show Broke Our Hearts | ScreenRant

With the announcement at Disney's recent D23 convention that all 30 seasons of The Simpsons will be available to stream from the platform's launch date, fans of the show are over the moon. Now more than ever viewers will have access to every episode from the long-running comedy and will be able to pour through the yellow family's back catalog.

While the show itself is a comedy, and a hilarious one at that, The Simpsons was one of the first adult cartoons to really push the boundaries of what animation can be. While maintaining a comedic tone over the years, the Simpsons have experienced real family drama and often learned valuable life lessons in the process. More than any other show of this sort The Simpsons has a way of accessing people's emotions and playing havoc with their tear ducts. Get the tissues ready.

RELATED: The Simpsons: 10 Storylines That Have Aged Poorly

10 'ALONE AGAIN, NATURA-DIDDLY' - MAUDE'S DEATH

Throughout the course of The Simpsons there have been a number of deaths but none as enduringly sad as the passing of Maude Flanders. For starters, most of the other deaths on the show have been secondary characters, who have only appeared in an episode or two. What was so shocking about Maude's passing was that, despite being a secondary character, she had been a constant presence. What exacerbates the sadness of her death is the way Ned Flanders has to reconcile with his faith in the face of tragedy. On a show with little to no stakes, when everything returns to normal at the start of each episode, Maude's death felt like a permanent loss.

9 'MARGE BE NOT PROUD' - BART'S CHRISTMAS PRESENT

In this Christmas-themed episode Bart is in trouble for shoplifting, ruining yet another family portrait. Marge is not angry, she's disappointed, and for the viewer this disappointment is palpable. It's easy to empathize with Marge. However, the heartbreaking moment comes when Bart tries to make good. When Marge accuses him of stealing yet again he produces a photo of himself that he's had taken as Marge's Christmas present. She is truly touched and their relationship is reconciled. It's a heartwarming moment between mother and son and one that had viewers reaching for the tissues.

8 'THE SQUIRT AND THE WHALE' - LISA'S WHALE FRIEND

One of the more recent entries on this list, Lisa's friendship with a beached whale was a return to form for the show. After 30 years of storytelling, The Simpsons can be forgiven for not reaching the dramatic heights of its early years. However, in this episode when Lisa befriends a whale, washed up on the beach and unable to return to the water, the show reached the emotionally charged levels of some of its earlier seasons.

RELATED: The Simpsons: 10 Funniest Homer And Bart Moments, Ranked

Lisa rallies the town to save the whale and when nothing is to be done she waits with her friend, who she has named Bluella, reading to her and sleeping next to her until sadly the whale dies. It's a heart-crushing moment and a brutal lesson about the laws of nature.

7 'LISA'S SUBSTITUTE' - LISA'S RECEIVES A NOTE

Lisa has always been the most intelligent and sensitive of the Simpson clan. These attributes sometimes ostracise her from the group and make her feel like an outsider. When a substitute teacher arrives at Springfield Elementary and seems to fill the void in Lisa's life, she begins to feel validated in a way she's never experienced before. The heartbreak comes when her substitute's time at the school is up and he has to move on. Lisa is distraught but the substitute leaves her a note, which simply reads: 'You are Lisa Simpson.' The sentiment giving her hope and strength for the future.

6 'LISA'S FIRST WORD' - MAGGIE SPEAKS

This is probably one of the most adorable episodes of The Simpsons as we not only discover Lisa's first word, we witness a normally silent character utter her first words as well, with heartbreaking sentimentality. In the episode, we learn that despite their antagonistic relationship, Bart and Lisa have a familial bond that runs even deeper. Bart, use to being an only child, hated Lisa for being born and was ready to run away, he stopped when he heard Lisa's first word 'Bart.' The episode is capped off when Homer puts Maggie to bed, telling her he doesn't mind if she never says a word. When he shuts the door, the usually silent Maggie takes out her dummy and says 'Daddy.' It's a one-two punch of heartbreak.

5 'BART GETS AN F' - BART'S BREAKDOWN

Bart's grades have never been much to write home about and in this episode he's threatened with academic purgatory. Bart learns that he will need to repeat fourth grade if he fails his next test. It's motivation enough for Bart to actually put his head down and study, which is a sharp left turn for the character.

RELATED: The Simpsons: 10 Best One-Off Characters, Ranked

The kicker comes when despite actually trying this time, Bart still fails the test. The lesson being that one bout of studying can't make up for a lifetime of not trying. Bart has a breakdown in the classroom which is truly heart wrenching and even the stoic Miss Krabappel has a moment of sympathy.

4 'ONE FISH, TWO FISH, BLOW FISH, BLUE FISH' - HOMER SAYS GOODBYE

Homer is usually carefree and empty-headed, however, in this episode his mortality is brought into question with touching results. After a night at a sushi restaurant, Homer believes he's eaten poisonous pufferfish and is told he only has 24 hours to live, well, 22 hours after being kept waiting by Dr. Hibbert. He attempts to cram in all the things he wanted to do before he died over the course of the next day but realizes too late - he's not had a chance to spend time with his family. One by one he tucks in his kids and says his goodbyes to them before heading downstairs to listen to an audiobook of the Bible and die. Of course, he doesn't die but this is one of The Simpsons' most heart-wrenching entries.

3 'MOTHER SIMPSON' - HOMER WATCHES THE STARS

Homer can barely remember his mother, having been abandoned at an early age, until one day she turns up in Springfield and he discovers she is a fugitive and has been on the run. Homer and his mother are able to spend time together and discover the things they have in common and begin to heal the wounds of their estranged past. However, the time comes for Homer's mother to leave again. In this episode, Homer is dealing with feelings of abandonment and despite learning that his mother is proud of him he is left grappling with the loss of his mother yet again. The episode concludes with Homer watching the stars. It's an unusually quiet and contemplative moment for Homer and the show.

2 'AND MAGGIE MAKES THREE' - 'DO IT FOR HER'

Perhaps the most enduringly heartbreaking episode of The Simpsons, 'And Maggie Makes Three' addresses the lack of photos of Maggie in the house. We learn that before Maggie was born Homer quit his job at the nuclear power plant and landed his dream job of working at a bowling alley.

RELATED: The Simpsons: 10 Episodes That Actually Tackled Deep Issues

Unfortunately, the new baby meant he had to return to a more lucrative position and when he was hired back at the plant, Mr. Burns put up a 'de-motivational' plaque to remind Homer: 'Don't Forget You're Here Forever.' In heartwarming fashion Homer has used all photos of Maggie to cover up the text of the plaque, changing the message to: 'Do It For Her.'

1 'FOUR REGRETTING & A FUNERAL' - BART'S BLACKBOARD MESSAGE

Not so much a story point rather a nod to the passing of Miss. Krabappel voice actor Marcia Wallace, one of the most heartbreaking moments from The Simpsons was the message Bart was writing on the blackboard, in the first episode recorded without his adversary and fourth-grade teacher. Instead of a joke line, covering the board, Bart has simply written: 'We'll really miss you Mrs. K.'

NEXT: The Simpsons: 10 Episodes That Actually Tackled Deep Issues

source https://screenrant.com/simpsons-sad-heartbreaking-moments/

[barbarawtaylor5]

6 Cons of Adobe Premiere Course London and the way You can Workaround It.

Valuable Tricks And Tips For Your Residence Business

Whether you merely started considering starting a property business, or you already have done so, you will find quite a few ideas that could come up every once in a while that will help you. The following tips allow me to share for your own home company needs, and hopefully they are going to help help you.

Save gas receipts and document mileage if your home business involves any driving while you are working. These are considered travel expenses and you can deduct them when you file your tax return. You ought to be in a position to prove that the things you did while driving increased your business’ profits.

You might set up a home business by giving lessons people want. Lots of people benefit from the flexibility that is included with learning from someone instead of a school. Lessons, such as art and music, that are based on various hobbies are typically taught from within the house.

Make sure that your business mail goes to a PO Box address. You don’t wish to use your own home address when setting things up online. This may not merely protect your identity online, but it will also protect your family’s identity at the same time.

When you open for business, email everyone you already know and tell them that you are able to accept their orders. Use the offers for something liberated to entice buyers to aid your small business start up. Ask them to tell others regarding your enterprise. This is often a quite effective means of advertising.

When working from your home, make an effort to always achieve your own best. Working at home can be really great at first, however if work always comes first on your own-esteem will unquestionably suffer. Be sure to do your hygiene each day, do not overindulge in snacking, and make it a point to get some exercise.

Apply these guidelines to improve yourself esteem and you’ll find that others hold you in higher esteem too.

Research current market prices for just about any service or product you will be selling. Make sure to know the full range from high to low. Look at your competitors’ offerings, and try to beat their prices. If you are attempting to produce a sale, avoid putting across the competition and emphasize some great benefits of your products or services instead.

Opening an organization bank checking account makes keeping records of the things your business is doing easier. Business expenses and orders needs to be transacted employing this account https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cQ7_eVRKg4 By doing this, you are going to keep track of your company’s finances easier. Also, it is important to have a bank card which can be used solely for your personal business.

Meet up a list of the things you prefer to accomplish every single day. You could let a lot of things go undone, but you will definately get more accomplished in the event you keep goals reasonable. Establish boundaries for a online business so that your family can respect what you really are doing.

Whenever you run a business, you have to think abstractly relating to your future. Expect the unexpected in running a business and you’ll do not be taken by surprise. Roll with all the punches. The better you already know, the larger and much better your organization will be..

from Reputation Management with Chroma Boutique http://www.chroma-boutique.com/6-cons-of-adobe-premiere-course-london-and-the-way-you-can-workaround-it/

[lifeideserve]

Ep 3 - Creating Wealth with Rental Houses: Interview with Jason Hartman

Having enough money to survive is crucial!  Having extra money, is icing on the cake!  However, trading time for money, can deteriorate your quality of life.  Passive income can allow you to generate money, while relaxing, while on vacation, while spending time with loved ones, or pursuing a hobby.  In today’s episode, I’m going to share some information, about my favorite, tool, for passive income, which is rental houses.

Welcome!  I’ve accumulated over 2.5 million dollars in investment property.  In the interest of helping others improve their lives, I want to share with you, what I’ve learned, and explain how I built a great real estate portfolio, that pays me back, every day.

I’ve spent quite a bit of money, and time, attending courses, and studying material from many well known real estate gurus, including, but not limited to, Robert Kiyosaki, Ron Legrand, Robert Allen, and Bill Bronchick.  I’ve learned a great deal along the way.  And, I now have a real estate investing strategy, and a process, that works well for me.  In the interest of helping you improve your life, in this episode, I’m going to explain my real estate investing strategy, and how my strategy has enhanced my life, with passive income, and how it can do the same for you.

I also, have a great interview lined-up for you today!  My guest, Jason Hartman, is a very successful real estate investor.  And, he’s created a company, “Platinum Properties Investor Network”, that offers a turnkey approach to real estate investing.  His company identifies markets that have all they key factors to support a profitable real estate investment.  Due to his success, in real estate investing, Jason has the freedom to enjoy life, and travel, and vacation around the world.

Before we start the interview, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page.

What is passive income?

You can think of passive income, as the opposite of punching a time clock.

In my first few jobs, working retail.  I got paid for the hours I was there, and working.  Only.  Later, I moved into salaried positions, that offered more flexibility, and nice benefits.  However, I was still trading my time for money.

Passive income, is income that you can receive while sleeping, while relaxing on a beach, while traveling, while spending time with your family.

Awesome, huh??!!

Before we go any further, I just want to make it clear, that this information is based on my years of research and experience.  Please consult with the appropriate tax, legal, or other business professional, for individualized advice.

Okay, so what are some options for passive income?

There are many.  I think most areas of passive income, would fall into the following 2 categories:

   Investing (basically, buying something and getting returns)

       Stocks w dividends, Precious Metals, Real Estate

   Intellectual Property (basically, creating something and selling copies)

       Book, Music, Movie, Software

Why Rental Houses?

Now let me tell you why I consider real estate, to be the IDEAL investment.

Reasons:

I = Income

The monthly rental payments not only cover the monthly mortgage payment, they also provide income

D = Depreciation

Real Estate is the most tax-favored asset class

The IRS not only allows, but actually requires, that I write-off part of the value of the property every year, reducing my taxable income

E = Equity

The principal is being paid-down every month (not by me, but, by my tenant)

A = Appreciation

With a house in a good area (w successful companies nearby to provide jobs)

The house, over time, appreciates in value

There may be slight dips in the market, but over the long run, history has shown the values to steadily go up

L = Leverage

The bank will lend me 75% (and sometimes more) on my investment properties

Have you ever tried to get a loan to buy stocks, or gold?

When it comes to investing, there are many different types of real estate, that you could choose from.  For this podcast, we will focus on residential real estate.  I’ve researched commercial opportunities.  And, I may eventually venture into commercial real estate.  But, for now, we’re talking about residential real estate.

Residential real estate, basically, consists of houses, condos, and multi-family properties (up to 4 units).  Multi-family properties over 4 units are considered commercial properties (at least, from a lending point-of-view, they are considered commercial properties).

My favorite is houses.  Now, let me be clear, I’m talking about buying houses, and holding onto those houses for rental income.  I’m not talking about flipping properties.  Flipping properties can also be a great way to make money.  However, it is not passive.  You have to put in the work, to renovate the property, then sell the property to make money.  After the sale, the money stops.  In the interest of having an amazing life, I want to help you to create a stream of income, while protecting your valuable time!

Questions, Comments, Compliments

Before we jump into the interview, I want to remind you, that “The LIfe I Deserve” is here for you!  Let me know how I can help you.  What topics would you like to hear more about?  What goals do you have, for your health, wealth, and happiness?  Reach out to me!  Visit “TheLifeIDeserve.com”.  And send me email or voicemail.  From the Web Site, click on the “Contact” tab.  You’ll see a button, there, that will allow you to record voicemail.  Or, if you’d rather leave email, just fill-in the form, just below the voicemail button.  

I really want to hear from you!!  And, yes, I do mean you!  Reach out!  Let me know what’s on your mind.  Maybe you have an inspirational story, or thought, that you’d like to share.  Just go to “TheLifeIDeserve.com”, and then click on the Contact tab.

Stay tuned after the interview, as I share with you how I got started in real estate investing.  I’ll also give you some tips to help you get started.

Interview

Jason Hartman has been involved in several thousand real estate transactions, and has owned income properties in 11 states and 17 cities. Through his company, Jason provides real estate investing education, research, and resources.

[Please listen to the audio for the interview.  Thank you!]

Podcast Recommendation

I encourage you to check-out Jason’s “Creating Wealth” Podcast.  I think you’ll find the knowledge that he shares invaluable to your real estate investing career!!

Jason continually researches housing markets, not only in the US, but occasionally in other countries.  He knows what constitutes a great investment.

I’d like to make it clear, that I do not receive any incentive (financial or non-financial), for recommending Jason, or his company.  I’m recommending Jason, because he has been very helpful to me, with my real estate investing.  And I’m confident that he can help you as well.

And one more thing, about Jason.  Jason is not shy about his political opinions.  I highly recommend him for his real estate advice.  However, I’m not recommending, or endorsing his political opinions.  However, regardless, if you agree or disagree with his political opinions, it’s always interesting to hear different perspectives.  So, I encourage you to listen, learn, and enjoy!

How I got Started

So, at this point, you may be interested, but wonder how to get started.  I think, for most people, the biggest challenge, is getting the money for the down payment, on their first rental property.

To address this concerns, let’s start with this question.  How much money do you have saved?  Are you saving any money?  

Analyze your monthly spending.  Where’s your money going?  Where can you save money?  How can you bring in more money?

When I went through this process, I cut-back on eating-out.  I started using coupons at the grocery store.  I did everything I could think of to reduce my spending.

And to increase my income, I built web sites.  I made several thousands of dollars creating web sites.  That actually worked-out very well.  I found my clients, almost accidentally.  I never looked for clients.  I’ve always enjoyed great design!  And I think I may have mentioned, while in conversations with people, how I like to create beautiful web sites.  And that may have generated the business.  I never looked for a web site design client.  As a matter of fact, I had to turn some business down.  Another great reason, to pursue work that you love!

So, the combination of cutting-back on spending, and generating more income, provided me with the down payment for my first property.

Actually, I remember getting the instructions for sending the down payment.  It was actually a few thousand more dollars than I anticipated.  I remember getting a sick feeling in my stomach, and having a rush of negative self-talk, fill my head, “did you really think you could buy a place in Santa Monica?”  “What were you thinking?”  “You don’t have the money for this?”.  I then recalled lessons that I learned from Jack Canfield.  We have to replace the negative thoughts, with positive thoughts.  If we can dream it, we can achieve it!  I thought to myself, “I can do this.  I will do this.  I am doing this.”.  I then remembered, hearing that you could borrow money from your 401k for a 1st time home purchase.  I went to my local fund manager’s office.  I informed the fund representative that I wanted to borrow money from my 401k, for a first time home purchase.  The novice representative told me that’s not an option, you’re going to be penalized heavily for taking this money out.  I trusted my instinct, took out the money, bought my first property, and a few month’s later, refinanced the property, at a lower rate, taking some cash out to pay back my 401k account.

Landlording Concerns

What if I can’t find a tenant?

How will I deal with maintenance issues?

My Strategy

To answer these questions, I’m going to walk you through my strategy.  And, I’m going to point-out, as I go, how I address each of these concerns.

Please keep in mind this is my approach.  It works great for me.  However, depending your needs, and your interests, you may want to consider a different approach.

Finding Tenants

The old saying location, location, location, is so relevant here.  Find a great location, and you’ll find tenants.  So, what makes-up a great location?

Number 1, jobs!!  People will go where the jobs are!  Be cautious, on this one.  Yes, a new factory may have just opened, creating 10,000 jobs.  But, is this the only source of jobs?  If so, consider another area.  Make sure an area has many job sources, across at least 3 industries.  For example, if all of the jobs in the area were from Blockbuster Movie Rental Stores, and even the Blockbuster Corporate Office, that wouldn’t have been a good area to be invested in, when NetFlix came around.

Number 2, great schools!!  Education-conscious parents will pay more to rent houses, in areas with great schools.  Although, the school taxes may be a little higher in these  areas, I’ve found that the higher rents, make these areas great opportunities for sound investments.

Maintenance Issues

To cover this area, I’m going to start by telling you, there’s more money in apartment buildings.  If there’s more money in apartment buildings, why, Adrian, do you focus on rental houses?

The answer… mentality!

Apartment renters usually have renter’s mentality.  Which they should.  They’re renting.  I’ve known people, renting apartments, who have called maintenance for something as small as a bulb being out.

My tenants are in houses.  They are surrounded by homeowners (in the suburbs).  They never call about a bulb being out.  As a matter of fact, some of my tenants have even installed ceiling fans, garage door openers, and new lighting fixtures (with my approval of course).  Also, I should point-out, in these situations, I reimburse the tenant for the cost of supplies.  But, providing they are handy, they take care of the labor themselves.  From my experience, tenants living in houses, surrounded by homeowners in houses, tend to be more responsible and mature, than tenants living in apartments.

Landlording Product

Like I mentioned earlier in this podcast, I’ve spent many years, and a great amount of money, studying with some of the most successful real estate gurus.  From all of this education, I’ve chosen all of the landlording processes that I found to be most effective, and I’ve put those processes into practice.  I now own over 2.5 million dollars in investment properties.  I’ve compiled and simplified those processes into a system, that I feel has the best balance of being lucrative, ethical, and passive.  In the interest of helping you to get started, I’ve put together all of the forms, and processes, that I use, into a nice organized package, that you can download, for a limited time, from TheLifeIDeserve.com/landlording.  Again, I’m offering this product for a limited time.  If you’re listening to this episode in the future, it’s possible, that this product is no   longer available.  Whether you want to invest locally, or in a remote location, my processes, and forms, will simplify your investment experience.  All of my properties are over 1500 miles away from where I live.  However, with my processes, I’m still able to run a successful real estate investing business.  All of my forms, have been carefully designed to keep you in control, while delegating most of the landlording responsibilities.  One very well written form, could save you thousands of dollars.  I know, because not having one of these forms, actually cost me over $2,500.  I’m offering this package of forms and processes at an extremely low price.  This low price, helps me to pay for the production cost of this podcast, which enables me to help more people to create the life they deserve.  Please visit TheLifeIDeserve.com/landlording, to get more information on this valuable product.

It's Trivia Time!

Last show’s question:

The highest number of pregnancies, ever recorded?  It occurred in the 1700’s.

And the winning answer…

...was again, submitted by Andrei Aleksandrov, who correctly guessed “69”!!  How in the world, one woman, gave birth to 69 babies, is beyond me.  Regardless, this number of births was recorded to have happened in Russia, between 1725 and 1765.  Congratulations, Andrei!!

Today’s trivia question:

When Apple was building a new data center in North Carolina, they paid one elderly couple $1.7 million dollars for 1 acre of land.  How much did the couple pay for the land 34 years earlier?

Send your answer from the Web Site, “TheLifeIDeserve.com”.  From the Web Site, you can leave voicemail or email.  Just click on the “Contact” tab.

Jason Hartman has been gracious enough to provide 2 valuable prizes for our trivia contest winners!!  These are great prizes!  Listen to this!

One of the prizes, would be a free Platinum Properties Deal Evaluator!  The Deal Evaluator normally costs $50.  However, this service, in my opinion, is much more valuable than $50.  Jason’s team has evaluated and executed millions of dollars, worth of real estate transactions.  They know how to weigh all of the factors, and determine if a deal will be profitable, or a problem.  For details on the Deal Evaluator package, go to “JasonHartman.com/deal-evaluator”.

The second valuable prize, is 50% off of any course from HartmanEducation.com!  50% off!!  I had to double-check with Jason on this!  This is an amazing discount!!  I told Jason, too!  50%, that sounds amazing!!  Are you sure?  Yep, 50% off.

The 1st winner will get to choose, either the Free Deal Evaluator, or 50% off of one of the great courses at HartmanEducation.com.

So again, today’s trivia question:

When Apple was building a new data center in North Carolina, they paid one elderly couple $1.7 million dollars for 1 acre of land.  How much did the couple pay for the land 34 years earlier?

Go to “TheLifeIDeserve.com”, to submit your answer.

Salutation

Well, that’s going to do it, for today’s show.  I hope you found this episode valuable!  My mission is to inspire and empower, those that I encounter, to live full and meaningful lives, by sharing lessons learned, tools for self-improvement, and life-­changing perspectives.  Subscribe to the Podcast, so we can take this journey together.  I hope today’s show has helped you to see, that you can take control of your financial future.  :-)

Final Quotes

I’d like to leave you with the following great quotes about real estate:

"Real estate is the best investment in the world, because it is the only thing, they are not making anymore!"

-Will Rogers

“Real estate investing, even on a very small scale, remains a tried and true means, of building an individual's cash flow and wealth.”

-Robert Kiyosaki

“90% of all millionaires, become so, through owning real estate”

-Andrew Carnegie

Thanks again, for listening to the “The Life I Deserve”.  This Podcast was designed for you!  Designed to enhance your health, grow your wealth, and fill your life, with happiness!!  Visit “TheLifeIDeserve.com”, and send me voicemail, or email.  Let me know something about you.  What inspires you?  How can I help you?  Do you have a suggestion for the show?  Let me know.  And, if you just happen to love the show, please post a review on iTunes!  :-)

Thanks, again!  Love you all!!  Until next time… goodbye. 

[subwaydj]

Subway DJ in Tel Aviv

Subway DJ ... but in a new country???

The thought filled me with dread. What kind of trouble could I get in?  Would people think I was crazy? 

I hated the prospect of the unknown and whenever I thought about DJing in Tel Aviv, I felt a block of resistance inside. I had so many “what ifs” jumping in my head that it seemed impossible. For the next few weeks I went through the preparations of scouting spaces, researching Israeli music, looking for permits etc...  all the while feeling like I was preparing for nothing. When people heard I was going to try and street DJ in Tel Aviv, they would get excited but inside I felt like I was a fraud. Sometimes I doubt myself so hard that I feel like I’m misleading people just by accepting their praise.

I hope my thoughts and experiences resonate with you. 

As always, with love, Subway DJ

Content Note: While I’m celebrating my experiences in Israel, a part of me also cringes a bit. I have love for the country, but I also have anger.  I decided to publish this post despite feeling this ambivalence and wanted to encourage people to let me know if they take issue with the existence of this blog post.

Thursday

On Thursday, March 2nd, I travelled to Tel Aviv to try and street DJ. I’m being spontaneous, I told myself. But a few hours into my trip, my situation was looking grim. I didn’t have speakers, a permit, I didn’t know where to play and I didn’t have the motivation to try.  I was unwilling to let go of the thought I should’ve brought my equipment from America, which I’d been repeating in my head for almost a month.  I decided to give in and just spend the evening leisurely relaxing by the ocean and messaging my artist friend, “how do I overcome the constant need for comfort?”.

The following Thursday, I tried again. I bussed it to Tel Aviv and sprinted to a rental warehouse in Jaffa an hour before it closed. “How much for a speaker, a stand, a table, a rope, and a cart?” I asked. It was 450 NiS, almost all the Israeli money I had.  “I’ll take it.”

The dinky cart they gave me was meant only for transporting gear from a car to a venue.  Two minutes into my journey, I hit a curb and my equipment toppled over the sidewalk. People walked by without a second glance and inside I begged please notice me, please feel bad for me. Although my cart was such a pain in the butt, it taught me a valuable lesson:  When traveling is a challenge, you feel elated just to arrive at your destination.  When traveling is easy, you feel annoyed when you don’t arrive at your destination according to plan.

A few hours later, I reached Rothschild Boulevard and plumped down on a park bench. I felt anonymous, like I could disappear and no one would notice.  It was dark and the air was foreboding. At midnight I took a deep breathe and walked up to the Espresso bar nearby, “can I use your outlet to play music?” I assumed this would be an easy ask because the worker “looked young and hip”.  The answer was a painful no.  Damn, I thought. The rejection hurt, but I reminded myself not to abandon ship.  I gathered my equipment, crossed the street and ventured further in my search for electricity.  For me, finding an outlet is like finding gold.

My search landed me at a bar named “Japanika”.  This time, the workers agreed to let me use their outlets. I began setting up outside while people asked curiously: “What’s going on?” “Are you a DJ?” “Will you play Snoop Dogg?”  I could feel the buzz in the air.

I set up my equipment and was ready to play.  This was it.  Months of stress, preparation and anticipation had brought me to this very moment.  People looked at me expectantly.

I put on ‘Snoop Dogg - Drop it like it’s Hot’ (lol) and people began to dance immediately! The empty bench area transformed into a wild street party instantaneously. One second I was alone, the next second I was in the center of it all.  People started bumping past me, almost toppling over my speaker.  The music would shut off and people wouldn’t notice. It was total chaos. 

This street party was my baby but I felt like a tiny part of it.  It was hard to let that go. A part of me wanted to yell “Hey! By the way, this was me.  This was my creation!” Whenever I spark a street party, a small part of me still craves that recognition from others.

After two hours, the party was broken up by apologetic police.  The workers at Japanika were extremely excited and begged me to return on Friday. “Maybeeeee” I said.  They pushed, “c’mon, don’t worry about the police, it’ll be fine”.  It was validating because now they were asking me to play :)

Friday

Sometimes it feels like success is waiting around the corner.  But on Friday it felt like failure with no end in sight.

I heard of a street rave in the center of town so I headed over with my dinky rig. Unfortunately, I showed up late and spent hours sifting through crowds of people unable to find an outlet.  I was surrounded by electricity and yet deprived of it. I wish electricity was a public commodity! After hours of persisting, I decided to call it quits and head back towards Japanika.  

On my way back, a guy off the street asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was trying to throw a street party on Rothschild Blvd and he said, “Oh, like the one yesterday?”  I chuckled inside because he mentioned it so casually.  For this guy, yesterday was a random street party. But for me, it was the culmination of months of stress and preparation.  Most people only experience the end result of your creation, they don’t experience the journey of failures and disappointments that led up to it.  It blows my mind how hard it is to understand what goes into someones work, and experiencing it firsthand has given me empathy towards other artists (and basically anyone who makes anything).

The main reason decided to return to Japanika was because I didn’t want to let the workers down. And when I arrived back to Japanika, the workers were happy to see me, but it was more of a “Hey, nice to see you came back” kind of thing rather than an “OMG Thank God you came back” thing like I was envisioning. They were going to sell beer and hot dogs by the dance floor and had a whole plan for where I would play and when I would start.  It felt like I was arriving at a gig: staged, set up and legitimate. It reminded me why I love street performance.  In gigs, you have high expectations and it’s very stressful when something goes wrong. But in street performance, you have low expectations and it’s a delightful surprise when something goes right :)

Inside, I felt uneasy and like the night was doomed.  I always think “trust your intuition”, but it’s never easy. And, like out of a movie, police came as soon as I started playing. They shut the party down, this time, with no apologies.  All the workers said “too bad” but business continued as usual.  The hot dog stand was still open and the beer taps were still flowing.  But for me it meant the end of a night, no income and a long journey home.  I wanted to say “I told you so” but there was nobody to say it to. I learned a big lesson this evening, a lesson that I’ve learned many times before:  When I ignore my inner wisdom to try and please others, I often end up feeling like a chump. Even worse, I began feeling a little resentful towards the workers of Japanika. I wish I had realized: even though the bar workers were giving me advice “not to worry about police,” they weren’t in my shoes.  in the end, it should’ve have been my call.  I’m so grateful however, because the police only wrote my name down and left.  It could have been worse.  Once again, I was given a second chance.

Saturday

When I woke up on Saturday, a part of me wanted to throw in the towel. I tried to make excuses in my head: “C’mon Naveh, you’ve already accomplished what you set out to do.”  However, I thought of the alternative reality of new people and experiences that I was passing up on and decided to push through. I’ve never regretted the nights where I went out and failed, I’ve only regretted the nights where I didn’t try.

I heard of a walk happening in Tel Aviv where people dress as zombies and march through town, so I took my sad cart on one final journey. The streets were quiet and eerie.  When I arrived, unfortunately, a street drummer had beaten me to the spot :/ All the zombies and camera people started gathering around him in excitement.  Honestly, I felt kind of happy for him because I knew what that felt like. However, I felt like I missed the biggest opportunity of the evening. Little did I know what lay ahead. The illusion of scarcity is: when I don’t know what else is out there, I can’t imagine that anything better exists.  

So after binge eating and drinking a cup of coffee, I headed to Allenby plaza.  I knew this was a good spot, and I was right, because a street concert was already happening :/  I got beat to the punch yet again 😭

After half an hour of lounging, I struck up a conversation with some folks and asked: “what’s a good spot for a street party?” They pointed to a cobble street: Nahalat Benyamin.  Immediately I jumped up and knew I had to go.  As I walked down, I noticed a guy wearing a wig and standing on his balcony playing music. A little farther down was a street concert. I knew this was the place for me. Climbing on poles and searching in buildings, I tried to find a working outlet.  I even climbed a ladder to reach the ceiling of a bar but to no avail. I told myself that I wasn’t allowed to stop searching, and I’m so glad I didn’t, because I eventually found an outlet in the perfect spot. I was so giddy with excitement that I couldn’t unload my equipment fast enough.

In a city like Tel Aviv, where street party culture is especially vibrant, I was worried there would be no place for a project like mine. But to my delight, once I started playing music, people started coming in waves to dance.  Yes! I thought.  It felt validating that my persistence paid off.  The dance party was starting again and people were coming up to me saying “Hey, I just came from a club but this just made my night” or “did you do this alone???” This was the grand moment that I would have missed if I had given up!  Even the people who pointed me to Nahalat Benyamin ended up stumbling upon the party and I thought this was neat.  Back at Allenby plaza, I felt like a lone crazy person carrying around equipment having a lofty idea for a spontaneous street party. Now, this was a reality.  One of the guys came up to me and said “ha, we didn’t think this was you!”

A few hours later, a girl approached me and said if I kept playing I was going to get a fine. Her friend had just received a fine for throwing a party nearby and she said the cops arrival was imminent. For some reason however, I knew inside that this wasn’t real.  And anyway, in the heat of the moment, I didn’t care.  I knew I had re-discovered my bliss and everything felt like it was going to be ok.  If I was going to have to pay a fine for it, so be it.

And in the end, no police came.  I ended the party, wrapped up my gear and went back to being random anonymous guy carrying a cart.

Not knowing many people in this city, the only community I had were the momentary connections in the spontaneous dance parties.  It’s a little sad because I’ll probably never see those people again.  On my way back home, I bumped into a stranger and had a fortuitous conversation about the importance of following your dreams. We talked about how you have to believe in your dreams so much that you feel like you’re going a little crazy.  You have to show up for your dreams, because nobody is going to make you show up but you. Only you can know where your inner compass points and other people can only guide you along your way. I feel so grateful that I’m living my dream in this life.  So many people aren’t given the chance!

Sunday

Today I will return my gear to the rental warehouse in Jaffa.  Counting my tips, it turns out I earned almost the amount I had spent on renting the equipment.  I thought this was cute and symbolic. It reaffirmed the innocence of this trip, that there was no ulterior motive, just the motive of doing the thing. Money-wise I was back to where I started, but experience-wise I felt like a new person.

I smiled to myself knowing that less than three days ago, I was doing the same walk, in the opposite direction with this horrible cart.  The future seemed dim and unexciting but little did I know what lay ahead.  Looking back now, the unknown has become the known and fear has became joy.  In me is a resounding “Yes! I am a street performer and I don’t want to be anything else!”  

I know that it will continue to be hard having conversations with people who don’t understand or respect the validity of street performance.  But if this weekend has proved anything, it’s that street performance IS valid. My resolution is to not feel shame the next time someone asks me what I do, and to keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

When I look back at all the times I wanted to give up, I think, wow, all of the people and experiences that were so special, would have been no-existent if I had given up.  We have the power to literally create realities if we choose to persevere.  All of the people who were dancing in the streets with me had no idea who I was a few weeks ago when I was in my Grandmother’s house calling up city offices and trying to obtain a permit, or freaking out because I couldn’t find a speaker.  But what’s so wonderful is that we can have faith that our work isn’t for nought.  

Looking back on this trip, now it’s a memory. This trip is now just another stepping stone on this journey.  And I’m glad it’s not the end.  I guess it’s important to remember that an experience alone won’t be the end all be all, but rather will be part of the growth of your character.

I hope this story resonated with you, and if so, I’d love to hear about it in the comments section below! Peace and much love to you all!

Subway DJ