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#not the best but better bc this school year I don't feel like I can fuck around and not get enough sleep
inesbaby21 · 3 days
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can you do headcannons of all the girl you write for with a gymnast!reader? i never see people do these.
ouu i like this idea ofc!
Caitlin Clark x Gymnast!Reader
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You two definitely met in high school
Spending all of your free time watching movies, reading, baking!
She definitely understands the pressure you're under, and as much as you're there for cait she's there for you
ughh, poor baby panics whenever you slip off of the balancing beam just a little and is sitting on the edge of her seat
Soooo sooo possessive, and If she hears anyone talking about you during your routine she's not any better than calling them out and telling them to "Do everything she just did, and has been doing for the last 14 years of her life in 3 minutes."
Absolutely loves watching you work on your tumbling, and one hand front flips!
She definitely is the type of gf/wife to show up to the olympics with a post that has your face on it
I'm seeing you two getting separated during college, but working through that as you eventually do transfer to Iowa to be closer to her.
Best, Best, BEST support system! Always makes sure you're well rested, you have something on your stomach and carries all of your gym bags
Definitely wants you to be at all over her games (College and in the WNBA) because you're her "good luck charm"
Touchies Gf ever, but just loves to hold you. Also loves when you do her hair before a game
Definitely the biggest support, and is arguing with judges when they take away points from a flawless performance because of something out of your control
Has the worst problem with women's gymnast outfits .. why do you have to wear the leo's, and do the tight buns if you don't want to??
Always there for her baby no matter what, and if your injured best believe she's the first one out of the stands and by your side.
Definitely blows kisses to you while she plays, and you're sitting court side
I'm skipping ahead to the future a little, but CC as a mom 🥹 omg
Always helps your little girl get ready, and you three definitely have a family/couple blog
OH AND BEST BELIEVE BABY CLARK KNEW HOW TO DRIBBLE A BASKETBALL BEFORE SHE COULD TALK
Definitely is a supportive parent, and will skip any and ALL practice/games if baby clark has a dance recital or a k-1 basketball game!
I also see Gymnast!Reader going into labor during an olympic game (shes not competing bc she literally about to pop) and CC stopping dead in her tracks to help rush you to the hospital!
Gymnast!Reader and CC definitely have the cutest babies ever, but I think they're going to take after CC height wise as gymnast reader realistically never made it past 4'11 .. (don't judge for like the crazy height difference most gymnast are like really fucking short) 😞
Kinda feeling bad for Gymnast!Reader because TWICE in 4 years your pushing out monster sized babies and STILL having to get back up and compete after maternity leave ??
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CC and Gymnast!Readee definitely have a winter baby idc idc! First baby girl was born sometime in december right before new years like the 29th (haha dec 29th is my birthday!)
CC IS A CERTIFIED GIRL MOM, ARGUE WITH YOUR MAMA.
Okay guyssss i really love writing about CC, and send in more requests for her! this was so cute and so fun to write omg
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astrxealis · 2 years
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hi thoughts dump of bday in Tags
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i was so happy today and i think esp bcs i was so worried today that i'd be miserable ghjebajgjdg#original plans got cancelled </3 vcing w friends but i was so out of it and felt so sad ghsjhg <//3 only started feelin better 5 minutes b4#the clock turned 12! and then man. starting the day off w music. and then shsbdgbjshd MAN i love all of my friends so much#regardless of how much we talk !!!!! sobs T____T <3333#i think the highlight of my first few hours of my bday wld honestly hve to be w my xiv friend bcs that guy like. bro#stayed up until 4 and only got 5 hours of sleep for my day GJHBSHB. BUT IT WAS SO FUN FR#and all the bday greetings were great and even unique ?? to where i got em from :O#i got called Numbers and Integers LMAO from ppl who know me and lune mostly as The Twins#got gifts from the mfing cashshop for xiv... immediate bday messages from my best friends..... bday messages from those same#best friends but in another server w other friends i made this year from another school bcs of school........#which was funny bcs man i haven't talked w a lot of em in a while tbh but it's really nice that the good vibes are very much still there#they are now on break too so we can hang out maybe w jackbox sometime >:)) AND THEN MY ONLINE FRIENDS#from tumblr and twt and disc and then my classmates and then my family and ofc my own. twin. yk. LMAO <3#idk man i was just. really really worried and i don't think words can express how happy i am to literally everyone who just#was a part of my bday gbsjhgbjh i feel like i'm overreacting but i know i shouldn't bcs. that's just how i am ^___^ <3#yeah i'm just so especially happy bcs i've been feeling kinda horrible lately and stuff wasn't as bad as i expected#like. I FINALLY FRIENDED THAT XIV FRIEND FROM TWT TODAY ... nd we talked SO much today. sobs#and that's just a small bit and man today really made me realize just how much friends i've made#and even friends i haven't talked to in a long while!! that they yk. still care for me :(( it is just so nice ehbgjhadh my heart#NO BCS A CHILDHOOD FRIEND. BASICALLY. bcs theyre the child of my moms mom friend. and like#we havent talked in a year and i didnt even greet em hbd a month ago like. personally. bcs i was busy GHSBDGJH#and then another childhood friend but from early grade school who is now in another school :(( mannn. man.#and then i've made sm new connections this year. at the very least three people who i am certain i will be longterm friends w#or i at least hope so!! i say at least 3 only bcs i'm still hesitant to really say more abt stuff like that. wah.#i went out and got great food (STEAK. THE LOML) i got my fav character (one of them. yeah) in mudae (not that i care that much abt#mudae LMFAO but it is fun) and then i borrowed games back and new ones. i am SO FUCKING EXCITED TO FINALLY PLAY TYPE-0 ESP#got replicant ... me and lune have been kinda stressing abt nier recently so it is so good. and then we got new clothes#and clothes that i think better fit me tbh. also i'm more confident in what i wear and less yeah to my twin LMAO she is fun to bully still#okay. max tags i think. so muhc more to say but fr i am just. very happy and relieved. egjsbjhdbgh :') <33
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thebewilderer · 2 months
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I mean this in a positive way, you remind me of watching Foamy the Squirrel as a tween. You’re interesting. Even if I don’t agree with everything you say, I’m glad you say it.
Sorry I didn't answer this immediately, I've been thinking about this ask for a while. I think this might be both the strangest and most flattering compliment I've ever received.
#thank you <3#i don't expect people to agree with me on everything for the record and i don't think worse of people who don't#you unlocked my backstory okay here we go:#so i was raised morally vegetarian in a tiny conservative town#and took ''don't kill things if you don't have to'' part of that and applied it to EVERYTHING (because to do otherwise is hypocritical imo)#i've never killed anything (on purpose) and i actively avoid doing so#the example i use that usually communicates this the best is the fact that i have never killed a mosquito. ever. i just shoo them away#but anyways. tiny conservative town.#so everyone i knew was either a meat eater or a flat out hunter#any friend i'd make? meat eater or hunter.#had to come to terms pretty quickly as a child that pretty much everyone has a different set of morals#and that it doesn't necessarily make someone a bad person if they don't share your particular set of morals#(so long as they don't go out of their way to cause harm yk)#i had a lot of moral dilemmas about this in grade school#like i was having genuine moral crises about what is good or bad and how can a person be good if they do bad things?? at like. 6 years old.#spent a LONG fucking time thinking about it and eventually concluded that killing something is excusable IF it's for an actual purpose/need#eating meat? i don't really technically approve but youre eating it so it's not like the creature died for nothing#killing spiders for the crime of Being In Your House? absolutely not and i will demand that you call me to rescue them instead#i'm getting distracted sorry i tend to ramble in tags#anyways. point is.#i know my particular set of morals is likely shared by zero other people on the planet#and some of them i feel more strongly about than others#but i don't ever expect anyone to completely agree with me on everything i say#bc that's unrealistic and silly#i tend to be more vocal about my odd set of morals on here than irl#but i still don't expect people to always agree with me#i really appreciate that you seem to think the same way anon#<3333#wish i knew who you were so i could better direct my appreciation and convey how incredibly flattered i am by this#feel free to dm me 👀
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calico-kiwi · 1 year
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me: *spends a little less than a month going to bed pretty early so they can wake up in time to catch streams* my sleep schedule is being fixed! i am no longer a total degenerate!
me: *didn't go to bed till roughly 6 in the morning two days ago, midnight yesterday, and is currently up at 1:20 a.m.* I can feel myself turning back into me from a year ago.
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kaicubus · 2 years
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Distraction | Xavier T.
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warnings ✩° : mutual pining, angry(?) confession, teasing, competition, cursing, rivals to lovers, both reader and xavier are 17-18 years old, fluff but also a tad spice.
pairing ✩° : xavier thorpe x fem!reader
premise ✩° :  on the day of the annual poe cup, you're put against your academic rival, xavier thorpe, and you don't want to lose. however, he has other plans of  getting the upper hand with you and knows exactly how to get his way. hes knocking out two birds with one stone, if you will.  
word count ✩° : 3.4k
authors note ✩° : this was done in literally a few hours bc i’m obsessed and it needs to be addressed.
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The rules were simple.
They always have been. Follow what the people in charge told you and don't disappoint. If you disappoint them then you disappoint the whole community and what good are you if you're a disappointment. It was hard not to see school, ground zero for being the best, as a competition. In fact, you thrived working towards a goal of being superior than everyone else; maybe it was due to the fact that no matter what was put in front of you, you could understand it and write it off as done as soon as you wrote your name. However, there were some things you didn't get at times and that frustrated you.
Over the time you’ve known him, it’s been test after test, assignment after assignment, obscure experiment after obscure experiment to prove to this seemingly effortlessly perfect creature that you’re better than him, only for you to miss his mark by one. point.
“Maybe you should think less about being better than me and more about the material, Y/n.” Xavier would say, “But don’t worry, you ALMOST got the same score as me.”
It wasn't his snarky comments or obviously stronger memory than you that made you over the top angry, no, it was the fact that you couldn't understand how he was doing it. Nothing made sense and the feeling of not knowing made looking into his stupid hazel eyes, gazing at his sharp and defined side profile, and wispy long hair all the more annoying. Everything has to have answers. So why did he make your throat tighten every time you spoke to him? Or your face flush with dark shades of pink and red? It had to be anger. There was no other explanation.
All of the rivalry would eventually lead you both up to the annual Poe Cup. A boat race amongst four teams, five members from each house all stuck together on their respective hand crafted boats each representing a different Edgar Allen Poe poem.
You're on The Black Cat team while Xavier’s on The Amontillado team. For a whole week you spend with your team, preparing for the race and to utterly destroy Xavier because this will finally prove to yourself that you’re good at him at something.
“You ready to beat the shit out of Xavier, Y/n?” Your friend who knows your rivalry with the guy smiles at you, “Once WE have that cup he has to realize that all he is to you, is dirt.” She was right.
“Relax, F/n, why ruin my chances with excitement when I can take all of that and shove it in his face at the very end.”
Your other team mate taps you both on your shoulders, “You guys ready? It’s almost time.” With that, you watch everyone file into their boats, Xavier included, and so you and your friend make your way into your own seats. However, just before you adjust your headband on your head, you decide to catch a glimpse of the destined losers on each side of you. Though no one else is important right now other than seeing him, so you give a side eyed glance in Xavier’s direction.
To your surprise, not only is he already looking at you, but, “Is he laughing at me?”
Your friend looks towards Xavier as well and scoffs, “Yeah,” She confirms, “Looks like they all are. Fucking clowns.”
As you chew on the inside of your cheek out of anger, a sudden whistle blows from Ms. Weems accompanied by a large megaphone that amplifies her voice as she speaks.
You can tell out of the corner of your eye that ever since your friend had rudely thrusted her middle finger into the sky for all the jesters to see, Xavier hadn't stopped looking at you. His eyes, laser focused, burned into the side of your head and it only made you more anxious for the race. You bite your lip ever so slightly and fight back the urge to look at him too.
Thankfully, you're saved by a gunshot that explodes into the air and suddenly your team gets pushed into the water.
Of all things, why should you be thinking about Xavier Thorpe and what he has to say or look at you for? All this time, you've convinced yourself that you could care less what he thinks of you. After all, the reason you're trying so hard to be better than him is the very reason that motivates you every day to get up and face him. Otherwise, you'd be locked away in your dorm with nothing to do but attend class and repeat the cycle. In a way, he was your reason to wake up.
“Y/N! Duck!” Your friend suddenly snaps you out of your mechanical like motions of rowing as hard as possible. Wasting no time, you dodge the flying axe coming your way by a hair. “What the hell?! Y/n, focus!”
“I am focused, F/n.”
“No, you're not. You got that lost look in your eyes. Stop thinking about Xavier and maybe pay attention to all the objects being thrown around at us? So you don't die, and most importantly, so we can win this for our hall?”
For the rest of the distance from the starting line to the other end of the lake, you try not to look behind you as looking behind you would only distract you from the prize. All of your team puts in their all in rowing as fast as they can together in sync, each arm pushing at the exact same second as everyone else to really glide through the water. Despite nets being tossed, siren students diving under boats and tipping them over, and very small fire crackers being thrown into other boats, three teams are left remaining to the next stage of the race. Getting the flag.
“Go go go!” F/n pushes you up, “Get the black flag. We’ll be waiting here to look out for anybody.”
Not wanting to waste anymore time, you nod and start sprinting directly into the old, creaky forest. Dry leaves crunch under your feet in threes, making their crinkles the only noise in the entire forest. That’s good, you think, that means no one else came yet. Quickly jumping over logs and rocks, you make your way to the flag destination, only to see that your black flag is missing.
“What the—”
“Hey,” a voice calls out from behind you, “Looking for something?”
The cheesy line doesn't go without an eye roll as you turn around, “Xavier.”
“You don't seem too happy to see me.” Your rival stands with a shit eating grin on his face, comically extenuated with crimson, drippy paint.
You're quick to reply, “I'm not. You took my flag which I need to win this. So hand it over, Thorpe.”
He raises his hands and allows you to charge up to him just close enough so that you're barely touching the tips of his pointed shoes with your jet black boots. “What? Who says I have your flag? I JUST got here in case you hadn't noticed.”
“I actually haven't noticed. Because why would I stop to care about where you are?”
“You seemed to care when we first started.” Xavier leans down and twists his head slightly, just enough for you to be caught off guard and step back, “I saw you looking at me.” His tone makes you shrink back.
Heat rushes to your face in a fleeting panic and almost immediately, your chest twists your rib cage hard enough to squeak out, “I WASN'T LOOKING AT YOU! YOU were looking at ME!”
Xavier raises his brows and chuckles, “I remember differently.”
Of course he has to be cocky now. “Look, Xavier. Just forget this and let me go. Your gross sweat is getting all over me.”
“Oh is that so?”
“YESNOWLETGO.”
He snickers at your flustered nature but decides to go the extra mile and tease you further, “You do realize that we all have to get back, Y/n, its kinda the whole reason why we made it here. Though it looks like its just the two of us.” He turns to both of his sides and then directs his attention back to you, “I’d say we have a little time.”
Again, you emphasize, “WE don't have time. Unlike you, I actually WANT to win. Xavier, I don't know what your deal is or why you're so obsessed with me and making me look like a complete and utter fool, but once I win this for my team, it ends. Do you understand me?”
Xavier exhales deeply, “You know, for someone who’s so high strung and smart, you're really dumb, aren't you?”
“What?”
He steps forward, causing you to back into a tree. You can feel the roughness of the tree bark as it etches its way across the backside of your suit, causing a mildly discomforting feeling that shivers throughout your skin. Before you can move forward, Xavier steps closer, basically eliminating any means of escaping.
“Why am I so obsessed with you? Is that what you think this is? Obsession?”
You look up at him to find his naturally tall stature hunched over to be at eye level with you. Surely, if anyone to walk into the scene, they’d think you two were stopping the competition just to make out. Even though Xavier’s hand is firmly pressed just between your ear and shoulder and he was just over an inch close to you so that your noses are barley touching, it’s not like that at all. Yet, at least.
“That’s what I just asked.” Your eyebrows stitch together bitterly, “Can you not hear, clown? You don’t understand how hard it is for me to watch my reputation die because of you and your perfect grades and your perfect art. What makes you think you can just parade yourself around to be better than me?!” The questions leave a burning sensation in your throat.
“Reputation? Grades? Is that what this is about?”
“YES! Are you DENSE?!”
Instead of matching your violent glower, you watch as the clown leans his head to the side in laughter. His lips parting just enough so you can see his sharp teeth laugh at you too, “Y/n, did you just call me dense? What is that? An insult? At least I’m not the one who always scores lower than me.”
Embarrassment? Anger? Nervousness? Why was his laugh the thing to make you feel weak now? Maybe the first two are theories, but the third is a definite fact. Your eyes are quickly drawn in by his hazel pupils, curious and dilated as they stare back at you. For a moment, the silence between you two isnt filled with hate or rivalry, but peace. That is until he lets out a breathy laugh after getting a good look at your calm face for once.
“Y/n, cat got your tongue? Or do you just not have anything else to say to me other than ‘I hate you’ and ‘stop being better than me’?” He points a finger to your feline head accessory.
"Shut up.” You bark, “Dumb isn’t really a good insult either. You are so full of shit—"
Xavier moves closer, now toe to toe with you and just a breath away from your face.
“God, Y/n, cant you see that I like you? All this time I thought it was so obvious. I mean, how are you going to tell people you're the smartest person in the room when you cant even pick up on subtle hints that basically spell it out for you?” He says, “Or are you too busy to notice anyone other than yourself?”
His words cause your heart to pound once, twice, and before you know it you can’t hear anything but the thumping in your chest and the soft winds surrounding you both. Xavier parts his lips again, determined to give you the answers you've been so desperately searching for. 
“Do you know how fucking exhausting it is to pretend I hate you back, just to have the opportunity to talk to you?” His tone is exasperated and shallow, but he doesn't break eye contact with you, “You seriously thought all those times we got close was because I wanted to be ‘better’ than you in some subject?” Almost like he doesn't believe you, Xavier shakes his head in disapproval, “The only time Ive wanted to prove to you I'm worth something is now.”
His confession only fills your head with more questions, “That doesn't even make any sense! How can you say you didn't actually want to be better than me when that's all you did?” You feel the heat saturate into a dark pink that settles into your cheeks, “And why are you telling me all this now? Why are you so adamant on telling me that you—”
Xavier doesn't even acknowledge your questions, he just continues to hold a burning tension between you and him, focusing only on one thing.
Fuck.
Maybe its the fact hes so close, or that he told you hes liked you all this time, but right now it feels like nothings stopping you from telling him too. It just feels so right.
Before you know it, your mouth opens on its own, your bottom lip trembling for just a second. Xavier’s eyes trail down to your lips, then back into your eyes, and a small smirk pulls the corner of his ivory painted skin up.
Without another second to lose, Xavier tilts even closer than he thought he’d ever be to you and cups your cheek, finding the courage you both need to pull you into an unexpected kiss.
The pastiness of your rival’s white face paint rubs against your dewy skin as the taste of him spreads across your pallet, rough, warm, and agonizingly slow. With a gentle hand, you bunch the back of Xavier’s thin yet airy suit and fall into him, curving just enough so he can extend his hold on you.
Xavier knew that he wanted to touch you. It’s basically been his dream ever since he got close to you and seemingly hurdled himself into being your rival. But he’d never admit that. Or maybe, now he would. Gently, Xavier clasps onto your hips more carefully, securely rubbing his fingers against the skin tight latex uniform you were forced to wear which gives him enough grip to hook his desperate palms onto your body.
You break away for a second, just long enough to look at his face and how mesmerized he is by you and just how fucked you are in this downward spiral of messy feelings and requited love. Love you are much too afraid to commit to. But, Xavier pulls you back into his lips and makes you forget all of your worries, even the one you're supposed to be most worried about. 
The kiss practically captures you for what seems like an eternity, erasing all memory of the Poe Cup and time spent hating Xavier's guts only to now realize that that hate may have been fueled by a painfully simple crush. But you wouldn't admit that either. Though, now there’s no other explanation to the methods behind your madness.
Soon enough, your hands find their rightful place in his long, messy hair, scooting his jester cap off easily. Had you known his hair was this soft before? You always told yourself you didn't care but now it was too hypnotizing not to twirl your fingers in. In fact, it’s practically asking you to grab it and play with it, screaming at you to touch it, touch him.
Xavier’s hips press into yours, giving you the go ahead to adjust your position so that your thigh is comfortably resting atop his hip. The stance feels too natural to be normal, and you're both caught off guard by it. Yet, you continue to taste him and feel him up close without another thought.
Nipping at your bottom lip, you can feel Xavier let out a sigh of relief, as if kissing you has been something on his mind for years. Only half of that could be true. Still, his victory cheer makes you do your own version with a quieter huff.
You give the roots of his hair a tight squeeze before your shoulders relax and another sigh escapes from your now open mouth. The force of his lips smashing against yours pushes you back successfully, leaving each part of your body to surrender to his. For once, you let it and as much as you hate to admit it, whatever he was doing was working.
When he finally pulls away, your breath is harsh and so is his. No matter how hard you could try, looking away from his hazy eyes was not an option. Just like the fog around you both, his gaze is inescapable and suffocating. You knew kissing your rival was a bad idea, but neither one of you want to move your hands from their proper places on each other.
Just then, a distant voice calls out to Xavier that snaps you out of your absentmindedness. “Shit,” Xavier curses softly against your lips, “Thanks for that Y/n,” he pulls away, much to your hidden displeasure, “But...I have a cup to win.”
Suddenly, it all comes hurdling back.
“FUCK! THE RACE!” You tear yourself away from Xavier, breaking the warmth between you both, and scramble to find your flag, “YOU CONNIVING SON OF A BITCH. YOU DISTRACTED ME!”
“I hope you don't mind but I actually sort of hid it.” He grins slyly at you, straightening his suit with a swift rub on his chest, “No rules, remember?” He pulls out a flag from behind him and snickers. Has he had that this entire time?
A flash of surging anger fumes inside of your chest, but Xavier just smiles. In his mind, it’s almost laughable how you fell for his devious yet successful confession slash plan. It was too good to pass up. And judging by the sour pout on your face, it worked!
“Y/n,” He chirps, “Was I a good distraction?” He can’t help but ask.
You avoid his gaze and turn your head to other possible directions your flag can be in, “You're the worst, Xavier.”
He runs a hand through his brown hair and smooths it down, “Right, right. You hate me. But I got you pretty good, didn’t I?” He picks up his jester cap and lazily smashes it onto the top of his head, “I'm gonna go, but, you should totally meet me in my dorm tonight? At 8?”
He makes his hasty exit before you can reply, leaving you breathless and weak in the knees—mostly tight fisted and furious, but still, weak in the knees.
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“So, Y/n. Do you want to explain why you...left for so long..?” Your teammate asks, kind of scared to ask in the first place but confusion was eating her alive. How fitting.
Instead of answering, you reply with strong and swift robotic motions that quickly thunk your boat along the shore line, taking a good chunk out of the grass and soil. Unfortunately, half way through your synchronized rowing, some water kicked up into the boat and soaked your costume. You didn't care though. All you wanted was Xavier.
And his head on a stick.
Sounds of congratulatory cheers erupt from the crowd as Xavier and the rest of his jester-like teammates hold up the Poe Cup trophy together.
“Bitch.” Is all you can say when all your other teammates wash up next to you, sad, defeated, and soaked with murky lake water.
“Well get them next time, Y/n. Don’t be so hard on yourself!” Your friend smiles happily.
Yeah. Tonight.
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makismei · 10 days
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(18+ somewhere randomly near the end bc my pussy took over) it is currently 2:57am and while i was writing an upcoming fic, i suddenly thought of nanami, as your underclassman at jujutsu high... not proofread (possibly incoherent) i am sorry i finished at 5am
he's two years younger than you, but he's been enamoured by you since he spoke to you back when he was sixteen on your eighteenth birthday, hosted at gojo's condo.
almost everyone was drunk, courtesy of shoko managing to get her hands on bottles of tequila and vodka. you were barely tispy, finding a completely sober nanami stuck to a wall with his eyebrows pulled together. he doesn't like it here. he wants to go home. but this is what being a teenager is like... right?
through flashing lights and loud music, you told him that cherishing your youth goes beyond what he's seeing before his eyes.
with you being a third year, he rarely saw you at the school. up close, he realizes how beautiful you are and that your perfume suits you so well.
"being a child is just fine," you say, as if you aren't only two years older. "you have your whole life to experience partying."
you end up outside on the balcony, talking all night about anything and everything.
and nanami learns, at sixteen, what uncontrollably clammy hands feel like, stuttering over simple words and the desperation for more of your presence.
since that night, he looks for you on campus when you are between missions. in the beginning, he couldn't find the courage to start conversation, but slowly, it starts to come to him easy.
over the years, he's seen you introduce your older boyfriends to your friends. he's also seen you get your heartbroken because the men that you chose to love were straight up losers.
what is he to do? clearly, you have a type and it's not him. although, he is confident he can treat you far better.
you like dark hair and tattoos, "manly" looking men but they don't even hold the door for you. what the hell is wrong with you? nanami swears, if he was yours, you'd never look back.
nanami is freshly nineteen, listening to you talk to shoko and utahime about how relationships are no longer worth your time. something inside of him feels disgusting because you're pouring your heart out and god, he just thinks you're so beautiful.
when he confesses to you for the first time, he is twenty-one and it's winter. it's been three years since your last relationship and you haven't pursued another since. he knows it's a long shot, but he goes for it anyways.
you smile, hand on his arm, "you deserve better than me, kento. but thank you, truly. i'm flattered you think of me so highly."
nanami raises a brow, "who doesn't?"
you're halfway into your door, smiling sadly. "you'd be surprised."
six months later, you're in cahoots with a horrible man and nanami thinks he's going to go bald early. why do you do this to yourself????
since his confession, he's tried to be mindful so he doesn't make you uncomfortable. but in the most friendship way possible, he tries to show you there are men (meaning: him, he is best fit for you) that are willingly to love you the way you deserve (him).
you, on the other hand, are biting your nails as far as you can, you cannot be catching feelings for nanami kento? you've never seen him in a romantic light, even after he confessed, but recently there has to be something poisonous in the air.
you blocked that douchebag two days ago because talking to him makes you feel disgusting. but you think you might unblock him to save nanami.
nanami cannot be yours, sure he's younger than you and you swore you would never date a younger man because they're so "immature", but nanami is a good... mature person. he is honest and hardworking, growing into his features and in turn, becoming more handsome as the years go by.
you'd be lying if you weren't jealous thinking about the woman that he would call his one day.
you think it's for the better. nanami cannot get caught up with your antics. he's really only seen the good sides and the thought of him seeing your bad sides makes you nauseous. he'd hate you, for sure. then what would you do?
but it doesn't matter, you don't even like him like that! but he's such a good friend you can't fathom the thought of ruining your friendship.
but what if he gets a girlfriend? you're pacing back and forth in your living room, obviously you can't be close with him anymore because that is just so suspicious.
oh my god. you're spiralling.
what do you do? you call nanami.
you tell him everything and more, that you're sorry, that you might be confused but your gut is telling you otherwise. you cry on the phone to him because you're at a loss and you feel so guilty.
nanami does not say a word or make a sound.
until, you hear a knock on your door through the phone and in real life.
"will you let me see you?" he asks, desperate. "i need to see you."
"you had me waiting for so long." he mutters, hips swinging into yours. he has you in a mating press, forehead pressed against yours. "am i making you feel good, beautiful? tell me."
you nod, legs quivering at his sides. "you're so good—i.. i think i'm gonna cum again!"
he shushes you, kissing you so deeply your mind goes blank. he starts thrusting harder and your mind is so mushy you can't even kiss him back. nanami groans, this can't be real. you feel so good that he might get addicted.
he can't let you go now that he's had a taste. he's not letting you go.
you love him. you told him in a panic over the phone.
you love him.
he needs you wholeheartedly and even though he had to wait almost eight years, he would gladly wait another eight years because if it's not you, it's no one. over the years he's loved you one-sidedly, he did a lot of thinking.
a silly high school crush ended up swallowing him whole. he was searching for you in all the blind dates gojo made him go on because gojo was convinced he was cooked and that you would not like him back.
so to see gojo's jaw dropping when you kissed nanami on the lips in the jujutsu tech courtyard, made his heart swell.
he was always yours.
you think that maybe, you've loved nanami for longer than you've thought.
"thanks for waiting for me." you breathe, "i'll make you happy."
nanami smiles, "you will always make me happy."
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possamble · 2 months
Note
Do you have any headcanons or thoughts about Falin having a crush on Marcille pre-canon? Especially during her later years at the school/the years she was with Laios.
Just full on "awkward and slightly gnc teenage lesbian has a massive crush on the touchy-feely girly girl straight best friend" tropes everywhere. Even better bc it's the "best friend is also the popular girl while lesbian is the slightly ostracized quiet one" dynamic in school. Falin gets so so so good at not having a heart attack every time Marcille gets in her personal space. But she's so resigned to never saying anything bc why would a girl as blinding as Marcille ever like her back. She also doesn't make an effort to get over it either, she's just content to be trapped in that stable dynamic of silently being in love with Marcille while getting to enjoy CLEARLY being Marcille's favourite person. She gets so used to it that it's almost just background noise most of the time-- it would have to be, unless she wanted to be freaking out 24/7 bc Marcille is so goddamn affectionate.
Her feelings also definitely change throughout the time that they're in school together-- at first it was this "whooaaah pretty older girl" puppy crush that you can clearly see developing in the flashbacks we get (I think she doesn't even like... realize her fixation on Marcille is romantic at all until years after it starts, when she's 12-14 ish and all the other girls around her are talking about crushes). But then they get closer, over the years Marcille starts getting really attached and letting down her guard, and Falin gets to see the ridiculous side of her. She gets to calm her down from her tantrums when experiments don't work out, or help her clean up when something explodes in her face. I feel like the progression of her feelings from "schoolgirl infatuation" to "unrequited love" probably almost exactly corresponds to how slowly Marcille goes from trying to keep Falin at a polite but friendly distance (like she does with everyone else) to her facade completely eroding as she becomes her cheerful and ridiculous self again for the first time since her father died.
That's probably the saddest part: Falin knows that she's clearly Marcille's favourite person on the surface level, but she doesn't quite fully grasp the enormity of what that means to Marcille. She doesn't get that she's the person who made the world colorful again for Marcille, that she is the first person outside of Marcille's family to really and truly make her laugh. She just thinks she's the beloved but dinky little short-lived sidekick, one of many that Marcille has had and will have.
Part of it is that, despite Marcille becoming such a clingy and affectionate best friend, I think her initial demeanour already did its damage. You see Falin being super adventurous and weird at first, bringing Marcille berries and other stuff, only to be rebuffed by Marcille exasperatedly saying she's working or looking kind of put off by it. And by the time you see her a little older, shes already quieter and better at masking -- and I'm not saying that that's entirely Marcille's fault (being the weird girl at an all girls academy for almost the entirety of her teenhood must have been brutal, my god) but she definitely learned that she's a potential nuisance to Marcille if she doesn't tone herself down. She learned that Marcille most likely sees her as a weird little kid following her around bc she has no other friends. And for the most part, she was never given any reason to unlearn any of that.
And that all very very smoothly transitions into Marcille being her "first love that was never meant to be anyway" when she leaves the academy. Chapter closed in her mind: she loved and pined from a distance and that was that. Every now and then she'll see another woman with Marcille's build or her shade of hair and be like ":( I miss her..." But then just kinda move on with her day. Same with when she's going through her own spellbook and finds a note that Marcille left her/correction that she made-- she'll smile fondly and reminisce about how much Marcille doted on her, and then move on.
Sometimes she thinks about contacting Marcille but convinces herself that it's too late (she spent too many months focusing on getting Laios healthy again and didn't mean to go no contact, but ah well). It's only when she has a practical reason to be reaching out that would also benefit Marcille ("Marcille is studying dungeons and we need a trustworthy mage to go with us to the dungeons") that she feels like she's allowed/that it wouldn't just be 100% a nuisance.
I almost think she didn't expect Marcille to reply at all, only to get a telegraph (or some in-universe equivalent of express mail, maybe magical pigeon carrier) that's like. EN ROUTE TO ISLAND. LETTER TO FOLLOW. and she freaks out like AAAA LAIOS SHE SAID YES WE HAVE TO CLEAN UP NOW.
I do think getting a response accidentally sparks a little hope in her, judging by the way she acts in the chp 57 flashback-- she's pouty that Marcille sees her as a kid, gets really worked up about being presentable, and then tries to play it cool when she actually meets Marcille (as if she didn't freak out and force Laios to shave while rambling a mile a minute about Marcille). She's an adult now, really and truly, and she's seen and survived things that her 18 yr old self would have never even imagined-- then all of a sudden, the person she was in love with since she was ten years old appears, and she's so desperate to be seen as mature and competent. She's trying soooo hard to impress Marcille with her newfound combat and dungeoneering experience...
Only to fall right back into their old dynamic. RIP. At least she gets the girl eventually, even if it takes dying twice and being the core catalyst behind an almost-apocalypse.
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thebearer · 10 months
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just thinking about carmy x shy reader who used to have the biggest crush on him when they went to school!! and carmy thought she liked mikey !
oh my god i can totally see him and now i can only think of two ghosts by harry styles ahhhh. little fluff blurb ahead for the soul <3
they go to prom together, their senior year just as friends. carmy bc donna is making him, and you... bc carmy asked you out lol. mikey set the whole thing up, he knew how much you likes carm. you were always coming over and following carmen around like a lost puppy. mikey felt bad for you, sorta, felt bad that you were so hopelessly in love with his oblivious younger brother.
carmen moved to new york and you stayed in chicago, only to reconnect years later at none other than mikey's funeral. carmen looked bad, sad and distant, but there was a glimmer of his old self when he talked to you. familiar. good.
it was a challenge, pushing yourself into the life of carmen berzatto again. two old friends catching up over coffee, first. then going to a ghost tour, because mikey used to swear it was the most entertaining shit (swore he'd see uncle jimmy on there eventually too lol). you'd help him at the beef when he'd call, helplessly needing assistance fixing some odd appliance. he'd make you greasy italian sandwiches and you'd spilt them sitting at the sticky booths, reminiscing.
it wasn't until weeks later, when things started to take a turn for the best. when carmen realized that "oh shit she's like into me into me???" he'd kissed you that night, in your apartment living room. it was rushed and a little sloppy. he'd blushed so hard after that, stammering and nervous in the low light of the room. you'd only grinned, pulling him back in.
"i- fuck- i didn't want to-to come across like that. i just... i'm sorry. i don't know why i... it felt- i don't know, i'm sorry." carmen is a stuttering mess, feeling his heart rate rise and like he might throw up at any given second.
"why are you sorry? i liked it, carmy, c'mon." you just give him a sideways, lopsided grin.
"what? are you- are you fuckin' with me right now? don't... you liked it?"
"of course i liked it. sophomore me is shitting herself right now."
"in a good way?"
you laugh, nodding. "in a very good way. c'mon, bear, don't fuck with me right now." you glare at him playfully. "you don't have to act like you didn't know i was in love with you."
"what?" carmen's eyes bulging tells you otherwise. "you-you... no, you didn't like me. you liked mikey."
"mikey?" you repeat. "carmen... i liked mikey because, i mean he was mikey, everyone liked mikey. but i had a crush on you."
carmen wasn't sure what to say, heart pounding hard in his throat, strangling the words. "really?"
you nodded, grinning gently. "i mean, you were too obsessed with claire bear to notice-"
"-oh, c'mon. don't do that." carmen cringed shaking his head.
"you did!" you laughed, jabbing his chest lightly. "you'd always talk to her in math and sketch all those pictures." you tried not to sound as hurt as your fifteen year old self had been. how you'd cried into your pillow when you found them. how you tried to make yourself look just like claire, act like her too so maybe carmen might notice you.
carmen blushed, looking down at his shoes. "well, i, uh... if it makes you feel any better. i-i was drawin' you too, ya know." he couldn't look at you, blushing positively boyishly at the admission.
it was silly. so silly and so sweet and it shouldn't have made you feel the way you did, but it did. you kissed him, two hands on the side of his cheeks, tumbling back on the sofa with him. a long, overdue kiss.
the next day, carmen asked you to come by the beef, telling you there was something that got dropped off for you while trying to figure out bills.
you opened the envelope to find a faded, crumpled piece of notebook paper, the light etchings of you on it with the algebra homework from mr. weir's junior year class.
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braxlrose · 11 months
Note
Hello! I really like your writing and I was wondering if I could request a bill x reader? It's where reader had a very rough childhood, with parents and stuff so they dont have a really good picture of love and gets confused about little nice things Bill does for them, like comforting and just being a good boyfriend, and can sometimes be like emotionally unavailable? But they really try with Bill and, yeah! Lmao, you don't have to do this and feel free to ignore!
omggg you're literally one of my favorite writers and I love this request because I really like writing angst bc there's so much emotion so ty <3
Also this is not proof read
cw: mentions of abuse (physical and verbal), angst, tell me if I missed anything pls!
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Growing up was hard for you. Your father was barely ever around and when he was, he was completely hammered. You tried to stay away from him when he was like that, but it was hard considering you lived in the same house and he was always getting fired from jobs. Whenever you angered him, he'd take off his belt and beat you until you were sobbing. Then would pass out on the couch and act like nothing was wrong when he woke up.
On the other hand, your mother just never seemed to be happy with you. Always nit-picking on everything you did, the way you looked, the way you did your hair, your style, the way you talked, you were either too skinny or too fat; you just couldn't do anything right in her eyes.
You always tried your best to make them happy, just having the smallest glimmer of hope that they'd be proud of you for something. All your hard work at school or everything you did for your community. All the diets you went on for your mother. Cleaning up after your father. There was just nothing you could do.
You didn't understand why they were like this. Why did they have a child in the first place if all you did was "ruin their lives". You didn't understand love at all. Your mother said that she only does this because she cares about you, but if she cared wouldn't she want you to be yourself? No, of course not. You're either like her, or nothing. And that was that.
***
Then you moved to Magdeburg, Germany. Your mother was sick of her old apartment and your father was banned from all the alcohol stores in your town, so you had to move. Again. This wasn't the first time. You've moved 4 times in the past year because of your parents, you haven't lived anywhere long enough to make any friends.
You had moved into a small village and your mother was making you go over to the neighbour's for dinner. Your father was passed out somewhere so it was just you and her. She put your hair in a high ponytail and added "cute little pink bows". She always pulled too hard on your hair when she did it. You weren't allowed to leave the house unless you put on the pink, frilly dress she got you. You had to be "perfect" and "lady-like" or else no one would like you.
You slipped on your shoes and got pushed out the door by your mother. She had also plastered your face in makeup. Mascara, eyeshadow, lipgloss, all of that. You were fifteen years old for God sakes, why did she care so much?!
"You better not make me look bad in front of our new neighbour's, got it? I don't need your running your mouth like always." You nodded your head as she smacked the back of it, making you flinch before knocking on the door. You heard footsteps coming quickly to the door before a blonde woman opened up. A smile crept onto her face as she saw us.
(Its changing from third person to first person now!)
"Oh come in! Come in!" She said to us with a big smile on her face, ushering us in. My mother pushed me into the house, with a smile. The woman in front of us leaned down and waved, "Hi! You must be y/n! It's so nice to meet you!" I froze. What was I supposed to say? What if she got mad at my tone? What if I said something wrong? What if- I looked up as my mother nudged me on the arm, glaring into my eyes. don't be rude. she didn't even have to say anything for me to understand.
"Nice to meet you too!" I said to her, trying to smile but it just ended looking uncomfortable and awkward. She stood back up to her normal height and turned around, waving us towards the living room.
"Boys! Come down here to meet our new neighbours!" The woman shouted up the stairs as me and my mother sat down on the couch. She swatted my arm again.
"Stand up straight. Your going to make me look like a bad mother!" She whispered to me, giving me that icy cold glare she can never seem to get rid of whenever she looks at me.
Just then, two boys came stumbling down the stairs. They were obviously twins but looked very different from eachother. I turned my body back around when I heard then coming into the living room. I straightened out my back and looked at them with wide eyes.
"Woah, a girl." The mophead whispered. Tch, mophead. That's what he looked like. His dreads were all over the place.
"This is Mrs. y/l/n and y/n. They moved here today. Why don't you boys show y/n around the house?" They both nodded and smiled at me. This is where it all began. My friendship with Tom and Bill Kaulitz. It's been about 4 months since then and we all became good friends really quickly.
***
Me and Bill were walking through the park while tom was out doing God-knows-what. It was December already, so it had gotten really cold. We walked on some trails before Bill stopped us.
"What are you doing?" I asked, as he bent down on his feet.
"Tying your boots. You're gonna trip on them." My eyes widened as he leaned down. I'm just a fucking idiot I didn't even notice my shoelaces were untied. Who the fuck doesn't know that? Why didn't I realize? Am I actually that stupid? I could hear my mother's voice pounding in my head.
"Oh no! You don't have to do that, it's fine really! I'm just stupid, it's f-" he covered my mouth as he got it.
"Relax, I'm already done and I don't mind. Wouldn't want my favorite neighbour to fall face first into snow." He laughed and kept walking. Why'd he do that? He should've just told me to do it on my own, right? I don't need anybody to do anything for me. He should've just left it alone! What the fuck is wrong with hi-
"Hey are you thirsty?" What? What was he saying? I looked over at him when he stopped. We were back in town now, I hadn't even noticed.
"Hello?" He waved his hand in front of my face.
"Uhm..what?" I asked with a blank expression on my face. What was he saying? Why was he even asking me instead of just telling me? Isn't that easier?
"I said are you thirsty? There's a place just down the road that sells the best hot chocolate, you'll love it!" He said, grabbing my hand to bring me down the road. He wanted to get me hot chocolate?
"I don't have any money, Bill." He looked back at me and laughed.
"I'm buying, dummy. Why would I offer you something and then make you buy it? I'm not that awful." He joked, keeping my hand firmly in his. What. He wants to buy me something?
"You don't need to do that bill. I don't want to be a burden-" I sputtered out, not wanting him to do something he'd regret before he interrupted me.
"Burden?! You?" He stopped walking again and pulled me closer. Our faces were only a couple inches apart now and my hands were in his. "Y/n, you're my girlfriend. If I wanna buy my girlfriend a hot chocolate I'm gonna buy my girlfriend a hot chocolate, 'kay?" I was stunned. I don't understand why he's like this. He's too nice, people are gonna take advantage of that. Nevertheless, I nodded and walked down to where they were selling hot chocolate. Bill made sure to put extra marshmallows on mine. Why was he treating me like this?
We arrived back at his house and he pulled me down onto his bed with him.
"Jesus christ! Your hands are freezing, why didn't you say something." My hands? I guess they're cold. I hadn't noticed. Maybe they had gone numb half way through and that's why. Why did Bill care, they'd warm back up with time.
"It's no big deal Bill, I'll survive.." his eyes went wide like I had two heads.
"Are you insane?! No way!" He grabbed my hands and pulled me closer to him. He rubbed his hands onto mine and wrapped mine tightly in his. "Can't have your fingers falling off. I need someone's hand to hold." I smiled at me and wrapped the blanket around me. I laid my head down on his pillow and closed my eyes. My life wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to have a perfect boyfriend who gets me hot chocolate or warms up my hands for me. I don't deserve this. You don't deserve this. She was back again. She's always there. My mother sitting in the back of my head like there's a throne waiting there for her. Why were her words stuck in me like glue. I'm sick of her constantly belittling me like I'm nothing. But I am. I am nothing. Nothing at all. Just a useless soul that needed to fill an empty body and nothing mor-
"Y/n! Wake up! Are you okay?" Huh..? What was happening? I turned my head and looked outside. It was pitch black out. Had I fallen asleep? I turned back to bill and he looked like he was on the verge of tears. He had shaken me awake from my slumber. "Are. You. Okay?" He asked again, "you were mumbling and crying in your sleep. Did you have a bad dream?" I was crying? My finger tips reached up towards my cheeks. They were wet. I guess I was crying.
"I'm fine, bill. It was nothing." I mumbled and laid back down. His mouth was slightly agape as he crawled closer to me and engulfed me into a hug. He laid kisses all over my face. Why? Why does he care?
"You're not fine, and it's okay to be not fine! Just tell me what's wrong and let me help you!" He said to me as both of his hands caressed my cheeks. Help..me? Like I'm some charity case that needs fixing? I didn't need to be fixed. Yeah maybe I'm not perfect to my mother and maybe I have some fucked up issues but I don't need to be fixed. What the fuck was his problem?! Doesn't he understand I'm perfectly fucking fine!
"I said, I'm fine!" I shouted at him, shoving bill away from me and pushing myself off the bed. I'm perfectly fine and I don't need him telling me what's wrong with me. His head hit the wall by his bed and I could hear a crack. I broke his wall. I don't care. That's his fault. He should've backed off.
I heard him calling out my name along with a couple cries in between. I pulled on my shoes and stormed out the door. I don't need him or anybody or anything! I don't need him treating me like I'm some child who can't control her emotions!
That was 2 weeks ago. I hadn't spoken or even looked at him in two weeks. What was wrong with me? I hurt the only boy who's ever loved me. He probably hates me now. I'm the worst girlfriend in the entire world. Im the stupidest person. You're the most dumb, ugly, disgusting daughter who has ever been seen on this earth.
she's back.
I'm fucked up in the head and I don't know how to fix it. I want to blame my mother and father but it's not their fault, right? They care about me. It's my fault I'm like this. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I have no one to blame but myself...right?
I was stuck sitting down in a chair while my mother poured goopy foundation onto my skin. We had to go to some classy town thing and I had to actually "look like a girl".
"Maybe if you were naturally beautiful I wouldn't have to waste my time doing this."
"Sorry mama..it's not my fault though..." She glared down at me and smacked the back of my head.
"You're lucky you have foundation on or I would've smacked the shit out of this disgusting face." She gritted between her teeth. Her words were like an awful, greasy poison dripping from her tongue. I hadn't done anything and some how I had made her mad again.
She shoved me into a long, cream colored dress and turned on the ignition. I leaned my head against the side of the door as we drove. Why couldn't I just be the normal, beautiful daughter my mother wanted? If there was a God, he had some serious explaining to do.
"Stop slouching! You think I want a daughter with bad posture?! My god! Can't you do anything right?" The speech. I've heard it a million times since I learned how to talk. How I can't do anything right and I'm just some failure who should've been aborted fifteen years ago. How I ruined my mother's life and how she was going to be a star if it wasn't for me.
It was a long car ride but we finally got there. And the event was even worse. There were so many people and the music was way to loud. I felt like crying. My hands were shaking and I couldn't stop picking at my nails. Women kept coming up and taking to me with their children. Friends of my mothers. I could guess by their judging stares. I looked lady-like and had good posture and was smiling. Why was I being judged, what am I doing wrong again? Why can't I just be normal? A normal girl who doesn't fuck everything up. Doesn't make her parents hate her. Doesn't ruin her parents lives. Doesn't make people feel awkward. Doesn't hurt their boyfriends.
And that was my breaking point. Tears flooded down my cheeks and everybody was staring at me. I stumbled away into another room and sobbed on the floor. I couldn't breathe. My hands hurt from picking at my nails and my face hurt and my body hurt and my eyes were burning and my makeup was surely ruined.
Everything is. I always ruin everything. What the fuck is wrong with me?! The one person who truly cared about me...i..I haven't- I hiccups against the wall and bawled my eyes out. The one person who truly, actually cared about me...I haven't talked to him in two weeks. Then I caught my breath. I stood up and wobbled to the nearest window. I pulled myself out of it and stumbled outside. My whole body hurt so I probably ooked crazy. I could feel mascara was running down my cheeks as I walked through the town.
My arms were freezing cold and I still felt like everybody was watching me. Their beady and judgy eyes staring me down like I was about to go crazy. Well, I guess technically they were right. I just started sobbing in front of everybody so I probably did look insane. You looked insane! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Can't you just act like a girl for once!? That's what my mother said me to in the 3rd grade after a play we did..
I finally got back to my house and looked up to the neighbour's house. Bills house. The light was on in his bedroom. He was awake. I turned back to my door and took a deep breath. I had to say something to him. Right? I had to make him believe I wasn't some crazy person who would push everybody away. Maybe that's what I was though..
I knocked on the door but nobody answered, so I stepped into their house. It was completely dark as I stumbled up the stairs to bills room. I looked at all the happy family pictures they had. God they were so lucky. So lucky to have a perfect family. A father and mother who love them. Having a twin must be great, it's like having a bestfriend for life, right?
As I stepped up the stairs I heard the door open. Bill must've heard me coming up. When he slowly looked around the corner I saw his eyes widen at my awful state. I guess I should've cleaned myself up first, I look a mess. My dress was torn from crawling out the window and my makeup was obviously smeared. I bet my hair wasn't too pretty either.
"Holy shit, y/n?!" He came down the stairs quickly and grabbed my arms, helping me up the stairs, "what happened?! You look...awful."
He sat me down on his bed and I didn't know what to say. I just stared at him. This perfect guy who loves me. I tried to open my mouth and say something but nothing came out. I guess he could tell I wasn't sure what to say because he went to the bathroom and grabbed some wipes.
"Here.." he kneeled down and began to wipe my makeup off. Tears slipped past my waterline as he comforted me. He just sat there looking up at me with a pity smile on his face as he cleaned me up. He took of my hands in his other hand and held it. He really was perfect. He saw him grab some lotion off his desk and rub it around my face after he wiped everything off.
"Come on, why don't we get you into some comfortable clothes okay?" I nodded at him and toyed with my fingers as he picked out some clothes.
I was laying in his arms now. His fingers were combing though my hair as I laid on his chest. I wasn't sure why he was doing this. Any sane person would've just kicked me out, right? I held onto bill tighter whenever he kissed my head and my cheeks. I cuddled up closer to him and nuzzled into his neck.
"I love you, y/n.." bill whispered as I dosed off into my sleep, breathing in his comforting scent and letting tears fall on his skin because he was the only person who was able to make me feel at home.
OKAY THIS TOOK ME LIKE 2 HOURS AND IT ALMOST GOT DELETED BUT THANK GOD IT DIDNT, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!!
the end felt kinda rushed but I hope it was still good
taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam
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luvsturniolo · 6 months
Note
hey girl i love ur stuff, do u think u could do a Matt imagine where the triplets are filming a baking video or smthn with the reader. There's a lot of speculation of whether Matt and reader are dating (idm if they're together yet or not) and reader minorly burns their hand or smthn and Matt makes a b-line to reader to comfort them? thanks ily<3
— ★ !! speculation
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pairing : matt sturniolo x fem!reader
synopsis : desc is explained in the req !!
a/n : girl i'm SO sorry that this took forever. my inbox is literally so confusing & it stresses me out so bad to look at ; i need to organize it asap ! anyway im sorry this took so long, ur req got burried under a ton of others
anyway , i hope u like this bc u deserve it after waiting so long 😭 also, i'm trying a slighty different format for my posts (its so subtle idek if u guys will notice but i love it so wtv 🤞🤞)
wc : 1.8k
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for the past few months, you and matt have been acting a bit differently on camera. normally, the two of you make an effort to stay decently apart so none of the his fans will notice that you're dating.
you've been friends with the triplets since middle school and you show up in their videos all the time. but last summer, matt finally asked you to be his girlfriend. you guys agreed to keep your relationship off the internet and since then, you two have been trying your absolute best to avoid eachother while on camera.
but it's harder than it sounds to keep a distance from the one you love. all you want to do it hold his hand, rest your head on his shoudler, or hug him. but you can't. and it drives you fucking crazy.
this morning, nick texted you and asked if you wanted to come over to film a baking video with them. seeing as you had nothing better to do, you happily agreed.
nick explained that you would be the one blindfolded. he and his brothers would be normal — able to speak, see, and hear freely. you were a bit nervous at first, knowing how horrible you are at baking. but you still agreed to film the video because you know their fans have been begging for you to participate in one of their cooking videos for years.
you're currently in the kitchen with matt as he sets out all the ingredients that will be used. across the room, nick is setting up the camera so you guys can film in a few minutes. chris is in his bedroom, searching for the bandana he set out for you.
"got it!" chris shouts excitedly as he rushes into the kitchen, waving the hot pink bandana around in the air.
you laugh at the sight of its bright colors before asking, "why the hell did you casually had that laying around your room?"
"don't worry about it." he responds, trying to be mysterious and dramatic.
he hands the bandana to you and you place it over your eyes. you wrap it around your head and end up fumbling with the ends of it, unable to tie it blindly. you sigh with annoyance but continue to struggle, too determined to ask for help.
suddenly you feel someone place their hands on top of yours. you immediately recognize them to be matt's. his fingertips are cold but his palms are warm, causing chills to wash over your skin like an ocean wave.
"you don't need to be so independent all the time," he tells you softly. "it's okay to ask for help every once in a while."
you feel his hands leave yours — meaning the bandana is tied. you turn around and blindly reach your hands up to find his face. you feel your hands graze his jaw and you smile, feeling the stubble of his beard brush against your skin.
you tip your head up and reach to kiss him. however, seeing as you can't see, you end up missing his mouth and kissing the corner of his lips. you feel his mouth pull upward with a smile before he moves his head to the side so you can kiss him correctly.
"i need to make this worth it." he says against your mouth. he pulls away to speak, but you lean forward to chase his lips. "i won't be able to kiss you until after the video is finished."
"then quit wasting your time talking and kiss me." you say. you feel his chest shake with an airy chuckle before he places his hands on your hips and pulls you closer against him, reconnecting your mouths to kiss you again.
"guys, what the fuck?" you hear nick's voice call out from across the kitchen. "you've been making out for the past three minutes."
"yeah," chris's voice agrees. it sounds like he's standing in the doorway. "we were trying to be nice and let you have your moment, but you just won't stop kissing."
matt lets go of your hips with a sigh. "whatever, let's get this over with."
"woah, kid!" chris exclaims dramatically. you can hear his voice move and his footsteps get louder as he makes his way over to where you and matt are standing in front of the counter. "don't sound too excited."
as unbelievable as this sounds, matt doesn't actually hate filming. he actually loves making videos for his channel. if he didn't, he would not be doing it as a job. what he hates is being away from you.
he's the literal definition of clingy. and you're like the exhausted mom who has to put up with his tantrums whenever you're torn apart.
"okay, the camera is set up." nick announces. "i'm gonna start recording, so get your coupley-ness over with so we can film."
it's kind of crazy how casual it's become for everyone to work around yours and matt's secret relationship. his brothers respect your guys' decision to stay private and they help you guys hide it from the media. it genuinely means a lot to you to know how supportive chrtis and nick are — even though they like to make jokes and tease matt for his clinginess.
"hey guys!" nick says to the camera. “today, y/n is going to be blind baking some santa-shaped cookies since it’s almost christmas!”
you can hear nick walk over to where everyone else is standing. he continues to talk to the camera when you feel matt’s knuckles brush against the small of your back — where the camera can’t see.
you smile, enjoying the physical touch. but you know how risky it is for him to do things like that. if you start blushing or acting weird on camera, the fans will easily put the pieces together and realize what it means. so you shift a little, causing matt’s hand to fall off your back and back to his side.
"okay," you hear nick's voice say. you jump at how close he is now.
"oh my fuck, nick!" you shout, turning to glare at him — hoping you're looking in the right direction. "you scared the absolute shit out of me!"
"i'm not nick." chris says.
you turn in the opposite direction and tilt your head dramatically, waiting for nick to apologize for scaring you. but instead of an apology, you hear matt say "i'm not nick either. sorry."
you huff out a scoff and turn to the last remaining direction where nick could be. this time you were finally glaring at the correct triplet.
you hear matt laugh from beside you and your stomach twists into a knot.
since you can't see, the rest of your senses have been heightened — meaning you're hyperaware of the sound of your boyfriend's laugh. everything in you is tempted to kiss and hold him and tell him how much you love him.
but. you. cant.
"as i was saying," nick continues, "matt set out all the ingredients before we started recording. so, everything is on the counter in front of you, y/n."
you nod in response, happily beginning your task. the first portion of the video is calm and kind of relaxing. you listen to the triplets' commands as you grab and pour random things into random bowls. honestly, you've lost track of what step you're on. it feels like you're just going through the movements of baking cookies rather than actually cooking a meal.
chris and nick have no problem with holding your hands or wrists to point you in the right direction. but matt? he hasn't touched you at all. he still talks to you and helps out when it's needed, but you both know better than to touch.
due to matt's intense clinginess, it's safest to stay apart. if not, nick will end up cutting out a large portion of the video where matt has to be pried off of you (it's happened before).
"now, you need to put the cookie tray in the oven." nick tells you. from the sound of his voice, you can tell that he's reading instructions off the back of the cookie box. you hear him set the box on the counter before he continues. "while you do that, i'll put the dirty dishes in the sink; chris will clean the counters so you can decorate the cookies when they're done; and matt can make sure you don't catch the house on fire."
"alright." you agree with the plan. you reach forward to grab the tray of cookies. you pat thepalm of your hands on the countertop, trying to find the metal board. but you can't find it. "what the fuck?" you mutter, knowing it was just right here.
"right here," matt's voice murmers against the shell of your ear. he reaches over you, his chest pressed against your back. you hear the cookies slide agianst the counter before you feel the cool material of the tray touch your hands.
you clear your throat awkwardly, trying not to think about him too much. "thanks."
"mhm," he hums. as he stands up straight, the warmth of his chest leaves your back and you're left feeling cold and empty without his presence.
you mimick his actions by standing up straight. you then carry the tray in your hands as you walk around the island to where you know the stove is. you're about to set the tray down to open the oven, but you hear someone come up behind you. matt tells you to just hold still and he'll open it for you.
you do as he says and wait for him to open the oven door. when you hear it unlatch, you reach down to slide the tray onto the rack.
apparently, you miscalculated the distance between you and the oven. because just as you were going to set the tray down, you felt a sharp pain in the knuckles of your pinky finger.
"fuck!" you shout in pained breath before dropping the tray to the ground.
"what happened? are you okay? are you hurt?" matt rushes out a string of questions, immediately taking your hand into his. he twists and turns it, examining the injury.
"yeah, i'm fine." you tell him. "i shouldn't have dropped the tray like that, it was kinda dramatic."
you hear him sigh, "what did i tell you? it's okay to ask for help."
"i didn't think i needed it." you tell him, dropping your voice to a whisper as you tell him your next concern. "plus, you might wanna get away from me. we're still filming."
"fuck the video, y/n." he says, pulling you into a hug. he holds you against him, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "you mean way more to me than a bit of speculation."
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tags : @kasqnxx @lvrsparadise @prettysturniolo @strniolo @urmyslxt @cupidsturniolo @opheliaofficial07 @thetriplets3 @sturn1olo-ffics @uhnanix @deadxrx @kitaysworld @slaysturniolo @wilmalovegood @ladylokilaufeyson5 @sturniolopepsi @strnilolo @knowingnothingnoel @its-jennarose @lea0518
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I HAVE A THOUGHT ABOUT TAN AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD
Imagine brothers best friend Tan, who you haven't seen since high school. Imagine running into him on the train, and he recognises you but you don't recognise him. Imagine him telling Lemon about you, because he liked you back then, and someone overhearing and using you as leverage to get tan to hand over the briefcase
imagine tan giving them the briefcase, getting you out the way and then shooting them before turning back to you and reminding you of who he is. Imagine both of you realising that feelings are still there for each other. Imagine him getting your number and calling you to arrange a date once he got of the train. Imagine tan being fine, and actually calling you and coming for you.
Can't get it out of my poor fluff ridden brain and I just cannot please please help me
K thx byeeeee <3333
love your blog btw ur works are so good and I feel like if anyone can write this it's youuu :D
love LOVE this!! here is my elaboration 💌
all a big ramble, hope it makes sense
PAST BROTHERS BEST FRIEND.
that is just the sweetest???
and bc of the whole thing about him being your brother's friend, neither one of you could express your feelings. and then years go by and you push off those feelings etc etc
and then he sees you on the train in present time and he feels like he got shot back into the time of when he was a teenager and he realises he never actually really, truly got over you. maybe he walked past you and like a few seconds after he's like "wait. no fucking way" but maybe he can't go back to see you bc lem is waving tan over through the doors. so then he's talking to lem about how you're on the train and how he hasn't seen you in years
and he's kinda gushing about you (he was infatuated with you in his teens) so he's just reliving it a little bit (tan and lem have temporarily switched rolls in the chatter department)
they forget where they are (also they have no regard for the rules of the quiet car) so someone overhears and wants to use you as a trap to lure the twins into giving over the case
maybe you're held by the someone with their arm around your neck and you see tan in front of you for the first time since you were also a teen (you were infatuated with him too) and he looks pissed and has his gun pointed at the someone. and maybe the someone threatens him with you and he's just getting more and more pissed so he kicks the case over and when they bend to pick it up, he shoots them in the head. you run over to him and hug him (he's a familiar face and you kinda need some comfort after that)
and he's checking you're okay and has his hands on the side of your face looking you over etc etc. he tells you to get off at the next stop bc shit is going down (he doesn't want you getting hurt) and he can't leave the train til the jobs done. he says how you should give him your number so he can check you make it away safely ;) but he's kinda playful with it, kinda flirty
and when the train 'stops' more like crashes in that little town. the first thing he does is call you. he's wedged between chairs and he's on the floor all twisted and immediately reaches into his pocket for his phone. he's all like "just checking in on you" and bc he's all out of breath and panting a tad (bc the train crash) you're asking if he's okay. and he doesn't want to be a worry, he's all like "yeah, the train just crashed. no biggie" 
then he untangles himself and stands, he's like "don't suppose you got a few spare hours. would be nice to catch up" and he's being so smoothly casual about asking you out as he hobbles off the train
and then now bc the past relationship dynamic confusion thing (maybe your brother and tan are no longer friends) you want to actually refeel those feelings you did all those years ago. so you say no and ask if dinner tonight is better, and make a witty comment about how it gives him time to clean up and get patched up
and he just chuckles and he says how he'll pick you up from your hotel at 7 and to wear something casual. maybe he has an idea of a date he would've done years ago if was allowed to ask you out (you were off limits)
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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year
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Nother idea: 8 years later, Tommy & Carol apologizing to Steve for their behavior. & for immediately abandoning him when they knew he needed them most.
But Steve has people now who have shown him love, family, true friendship. And while he forgives them its not the same. He doesn't trust them. He is thriving without them.
But Carol realizes that the reason it isn't the same is bc Steve genuinely believes that they don't mean their apology. So she & Tommy actually discuss it and find a way to clear up any misunderstanding & ensure he knows they mean their apology. It works, it takes time & effort but they are once again his friends.
MY LOVE!!! STEVE REALIZING HE'S LOVED AND DOESN'T NEED HIS SHITTY EX FRIENDS CREW STAND UP!!!! I had the opportunity to really give Steve his shining moment and yell at them, but I decided that Steve would just be kind of over it, like they aren't really worth yelling at. Steve didn't do all this personal growth just to let them back in so easily, but luckily he isn't the only one who changed. You know I had to involve Eddie, of course! - Mickala ❤️
-----------------------------------------------
It was too fucking early on a Saturday morning to be woken up by the buzzer of his apartment.
Whoever it was was lucky that Eddie had to go into work today or he would be committing murder at their door.
He glanced at the clock on the microwave, 10:47, okay, so not that early.
They’d had a late night, okay?
If he had a limp to show what they were up to, that was his business.
“You can leave the package in the box, I’ll grab it soon!” Steve said into the mic, hoping it was just a delivery.
“Steve? Is that you?”
He recognized the voice, though he wished he didn’t.
Eight years was a long time to go without talking to someone who used to be your best friend, but when you’d been best friends for so long, certain things couldn’t be forgotten.
“Tommy?”
“Uh yeah, man. I’m here with Carol. We actually were hoping to talk to you?”
He looked down at his almost naked body, only Eddie’s boxers covering him.
“Sure.”
He buzzed them in, not giving them any clue where he was so they would take their time getting to his door. He had to throw on clothes, brush his hair, and try to look like he hadn’t just been asleep.
He rushed to the bedroom, throwing on the first pair of jeans he saw and a t-shirt from the floor. He heard voices down the hall as he was heading to the bathroom, his hands shaking with nerves as he tried to rush to brush through his hair.
“It can’t be that Munson, though, right? Even Steve wasn’t a fan of him in school.”
Steve grimaced at Carol’s voice.
Technically, Eddie worked a half shift when he had to work Saturdays, which meant unless they were only stopping by for a few minutes, he would probably be home while they were still here.
Tommy had always hated Eddie. No one could really figure out why. Sure, a lot of people said nasty things about and to Eddie in high school, but no one else really put their hands on him the way Tommy did.
Eddie joked it must have been because he liked him, but Steve thought maybe he just had a lot of displaced anger.
At least that’s what he thought when he became a counselor and understood a lot of psychology behind why people did things.
Eddie laughed and said, “don’t overthink it, some people are just bullies.”
But Steve liked to think maybe Tommy was more complicated than that, liked to explain away his worst qualities so it made it easier to accept that he was once best friends with him.
Eddie laughed about that too, and said, “kids are stupid, and sometimes we find friends in people who make us feel better about ourselves, but you grew up.”
Steve shook his head, not wanting to think more about it.
He opened the front door, the ghosts of his past standing there, hardly aged, hardly any different at all.
“Come in, guys. Um. Sorry, I wasn’t really expecting anyone.”
They all awkwardly laughed as Tommy and Carol made their way inside.
The apartment was small, cheap rent kept them there so they could save up to buy a house outside of town in the next few years, maybe work on starting a family if they could.
They’d talked about it over the last couple of years, once Steve was settled in his job at the school, once Eddie got promoted to general manager at the shop, they’d save for a few years, have a decent down payment, start looking for a house with three or four bedrooms. Start looking into adopting. Maybe get a cat.
But to do that, their apartment was cozy, as Eddie liked to say. One bedroom, one bathroom, kitchen and living room area all one room, a tiny storage closet. They didn’t even have their own washer and dryer, which reminded Steve that he had to take their laundry downstairs and get it started soon.
Tommy and Carol looked around, but hid any emotion on their faces.
He gestured for them to have a seat on the couch, which was a hand-me-down from Wayne when they moved in. It was “too much” for his space when Eddie moved out.
They sat, though they didn’t look very comfortable.
Steve sat in the rocking chair Eddie bought, the first thing he bought for their “eventual home”, but didn’t rock as he took them in.
He originally didn’t see any proof of them aging, but now that he was looking closer, he could see Tommy’s already-receding hairline, Carol’s wrinkled by her eyes, both of them just a little softer in the face and stomach.
They looked incredibly human like this, like they weren’t some high school king and queen who only cared about how they look and what parties they could go to every weekend.
It helped Steve relax a bit.
“Not to be rude, but uh, how did you guys find me?” Steve asked, not sure he even really cared.
“We moved here to Chicago about six months ago, Tommy’s gonna run his dad’s office here starting next year, so he wanted to ease into it. I started job searching a few weeks ago for a teaching position and I noticed you worked at the school I interviewed at. We looked you up and decided we wanted to come talk,” Carol always was a bit of a rambler, always annoyed Steve when she started in on something that really didn’t matter much.
Carol nudged Tommy, who had been staring wide-eyed at Steve since he sat down.
He cleared his throat and nodded.
“We actually came here to make things right. We were best friends for years, and then one bad thing happened and we weren’t anymore. I know I fucked up with everything. We shouldn’t have treated Nancy like that, or you like that, and we’re hoping you could maybe accept our apology.”
Steve stared at them.
“We were kids. We did stupid shit. We’ve all grown. I mean, look at you! Your own apartment in the big city!”
As if he had been waiting for a cue, Eddie walked in the front door, his oil-covered coveralls already coming off. Steve made the rule after he came home one day to see oil stains on the bed sheets where Eddie had fallen asleep after working from open to close: coveralls come off as soon as he’s in the door and they go straight to the laundry room.
“Jesus, sweetheart, this is the last Saturday I cover in the shop. At least until I hire some competent mechanics. I think I did most of the work all morning. And after doing most of the work last night, I-”
“Eds! We have company!” Steve rushed out, his face bright red at what Eddie was implying.
It’s not that he really cared about what Tommy and Carol thought; Once they realized Eddie lived here, it wouldn’t be difficult to come to the conclusion that they shared a one bedroom apartment because they were together. He didn’t even care if Tommy and Carol were disgusted by him for it.
But he’d be damned if Eddie felt uncomfortable in his own home, especially if they started saying shit to him reminiscent of their high school days.
He watched Eddie turn around, recognize the people on the couch, and turn to Steve with a questioning look.
“Tommy, Carol, you remember Eddie,” Steve said, not breaking eye contact with Eddie.
They were having an entire conversation with their eyes, Steve begging Eddie to just go get cleaned up, Eddie begging Steve to explain what was going on.
Tommy’s eyes narrowed as he looked between them, Carol’s eyes stayed pointed at Eddie.
“Munson?”
“The one and only!” Eddie said, his voice pitching just a bit higher, naturally going to his over the top self to protect himself from whatever they would say.
Steve loved every version of Eddie: the performer on stage, the performer with friends, the soft version of himself that only Steve got to see, the protective version that would fight the world to make sure his loved ones were safe.
He was lucky to have every part of Eddie, even the parts that may not always be the best.
But his least favorite thing was seeing Eddie go into this mode, the one that kept him safe during school, when kids were mean, adults were mean, life was hard.
He didn’t want that for Eddie anymore.
“You guys…live together?” Tommy asked, looking back to Steve for confirmation.
Steve rolled his eyes. Tommy apparently didn’t gain any intelligence over the years.
“Yes. We’re together.”
From the look on Eddie’s face, he hadn’t expected Steve to say that.
That was fair; it took Steve nearly a year just to come out to anyone who wasn’t Robin, scared that somehow everyone would hate him, hate Eddie, hate them together.
But it went perfectly, and Steve rode the high a bit too much. He came out to his parents a few months after, and that went quite a lot less than perfectly.
He was lucky he didn’t have more head trauma from it, actually.
So he kept it quiet, didn’t come out to any new friends he met in college, even after one of them came out to him. Didn’t come out to coworkers while he worked at a cafe throughout college to pay the bills. Didn’t even come out to the bartender at their favorite bar despite the rainbow flag that was hidden behind the bar in silent support.
It was only recently that he started to feel comfortable being more open, and only in the city, only select areas where he knew they wouldn’t end up hurt.
Eddie was patient, maybe more than he deserved.
So saying it outright to the two people who suspected and bullied Eddie for being gay in high school, despite it not even being confirmed then, clearly threw Eddie for a loop.
“Oh, like…”
“Yes, exactly like that.”
Steve crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for any response that would give him permission to kick them out of his apartment, their apartment.
But he saw Carol nudge Tommy again, pasting a smile on her face. It wasn’t completely natural, but it also didn’t seem fake.
“That’s nice, Steve. Have you been together a while?”
“Since ‘86.”
“Wow! Since the quakes!”
Steve nodded.
“Steve, can you help me with something in the kitchen for a second?” Eddie asked, his voice unreadable.
Steve hated it, hated that all of a sudden he couldn’t get a grasp of what Eddie was feeling.
It had been so long since he’d experienced this.
And a small part of him blamed Tommy and Carol.
He got up, wordlessly following Eddie into the kitchen area that wasn’t even separated from the living room.
“Not that I don’t love that you’re comfortable telling them, but um. What’s. What’s happening currently?” Eddie whispered as he tried to appear busy, grabbing a glass from the cabinet to fill with water.
“They came to apologize to me. For high school.”
When he said it out loud, it sounded a bit ridiculous.
“And are you accepting it?”
“I don’t think so. I think they’re only doing it to help themselves feel better. I’m not interested in whatever game they’re playing.”
Eddie looked over Steve’s shoulder at the pair sitting on the couch.
“Need me to get rid of them? Just say so, sweetheart. I’ll kick them both to the curb.”
Steve leaned in and kissed him quickly on the lips, smiling as he pulled away.
“I got it, baby. Get cleaned up so I can hug you.”
“Just hug?”
Steve laughed as he walked back towards his spot.
“Or more!”
He focused back on Tommy and Carol, who were graciously pretending that they didn’t hear the conversation that happened less than 20 feet from them.
“So, we were wondering if you wanted to meet up for dinner, catch up? You could bring Eddie, of course!”
Of course, she said. Like they didn’t outwardly despise Eddie eight years ago. Like they were perfectly fine with him now, and fine with Steve, and fine with them.
“I think we’ll pass. Good luck to you guys in Chicago, though.”
He ignored the pang of guilt when he saw Carol’s face fall and Tommy’s eyes darted to where Eddie was closing the bedroom door and back to Steve.
“Oh. Um. Well, it would be our treat, if you’re worried about money.”
“I wasn’t.”
Tommy and Carol hadn’t expected to be shut down like this, but Steve knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t accept their apologies, and he wouldn’t expect Eddie to suddenly be friendly to people who tormented him for years.
“Okay. Well. I guess we’ll go, then.”
“Thanks for stopping by.”
He stood as they stood, walked them out the door, then closed and locked it behind them.
Steve made it to the bedroom before he felt the tears spring to his eyes.
Eddie was in the bathroom showering, so he hoped he could get it out quickly. He didn’t want Eddie to worry.
But unfortunately, once a few tears fell, it seemed like they wouldn’t stop.
He got back in bed, burying his face in the pillow so he could hopefully pretend to be asleep, but didn’t quite manage it before Eddie was walking back into the room.
He got in bed and silently pulled Steve against his chest, running his hands up and down his back to soothe him, not trying to use any comforting words.
“I don’t know why I’m upset about a stupid fake apology from people I don’t care about.”
“Stevie, it’s okay to be upset. They were your friends for a long time, and you still have a lot of hurt leftover from them.”
“I just wish things had been different then.”
“I know, sweetheart.”
Eddie kissed the top of his head, and as they lay there together, Steve realized this hurt would never quite go away.
—------------------
“T, I don’t think he believed us,” Carol said from the passenger seat.
“I can’t believe Steve’s with Eddie. Of all the people,” Tommy replied, not even acknowledging Carol’s words.
“They seem good together.”
“I guess.”
Carol knew Tommy had a crush on Steve in high school, they’d talked about it years ago when she found an old picture of Steve with a heart drawn on the back while they were moving the first time around.
She’d been caught off guard, but understood, and was fine with it when he explained it was definitely in the past.
And it was.
But a part of him was wondering how long Steve had realized he liked guys, and what might have happened if he’d just been brave enough to do something about his feelings before things went to shit.
He loved Carol, was happy to be married to her, and wouldn’t want Steve now, but still. The what-ifs plagued his mind on the drive back to their home.
“Are you jealous of Eddie?”
Carol sounded hesitant to ask, like she wasn’t sure which answer she would prefer because she knew either way, Tommy would be upset she asked at all.
“No. I’m not jealous. Steve and I would never have worked out.”
Which may not have been a great answer for his wife, but it was the truth, and they were always honest with each other if nothing else.
“Since I got the job at the school, maybe I’ll have more chances to convince him we meant it.”
Carol was good. Deep down she had always been good. But Tommy always managed to drag her down when they were young, convinced her she needed to be a mean girl to fit in with their group, kept it up through most of college before they finally realized life was better if you just weren’t awful to people.
“Yeah, maybe.”
—---------------------
So, a month later, when school started up, Carol began the task of showing Steve that they were truly sorry.
She would often leave notes in his mailbox in the office, usually just a “have a great day!” with a smiley face, or “let me know if you want to catch up over lunch!”
He never responded, but she knew he got them.
Tommy had issues with his car and took it to the shop Eddie worked at, nodding along to what he said and admitted he didn’t really know much about cars so he trusted Eddie to fix it.
It was entirely professional, but a small part of Tommy was satisfied when Eddie gave him a genuine smile.
—--------------------------
“Is it weird that they keep trying?” Steve asked one night while they were lying in bed.
“I don’t think it’s weird. I think maybe they just mean it.”
Steve pondered it.
Yeah, they must mean it. The old Tommy and Carol would have given up after he sent them out of their apartment the first time.
“Would you wanna go to dinner with them? Just give them a chance? It’s okay if you don’t want to. You don’t have to forgive them.”
Eddie leaned in to kiss Steve’s slowly, softly.
“If you want to, then I want to support you. We’re all different now. Maybe we can look at who they are now instead of who they were, as long as they can look at who we are and respect us.”
“Yeah.” Steve kissed Eddie’s cheek. “Yeah.”
—-------------------
Steve left a note for Carol the following Monday: “Dinner at ours? Friday at 7. Bring a red wine and beer.”
She wrote back that same day with a bunch of smiley faces and a response that they would be there.
When Friday came, Steve was nervous.
He’d planned to leave work right when school got out instead of leaving at five so he could make sure everything was clean and the food would be ready on time.
Eddie promised to be home by six in case he needed help.
And when six arrived, Eddie walked through the door with flowers and a smile, and Steve relaxed.
Nothing would go wrong.
Even if something did, they would be in it together, and they would support each other.
They didn’t have to do this alone like they did all those years ago.
—-------------------
It became a thing: dinner every Friday evening, sometimes at Steve and Eddie’s, sometimes at Tommy and Carol’s, sometimes at a new restaurant in the city.
The first few dinners were stilted, full of apologies and awkward catch-ups.
Then it got easier.
They got closer.
Eddie and Tommy actually became closer than Steve and Tommy ever were. Eddie showed him how to change his own oil so he could “stop bothering him at work just so he could look at his sexy coveralls.” Tommy rolled his eyes, but was grateful to learn.
Carol and Steve would often bake dessert together, catching up on school gossip, the latest who was dating who always entertaining them just as it did when they were in high school.
There were still the occasional moments where Steve thought about how much they hurt him, and Eddie thought about how they might be teasing him behind his back.
But it was rare, and they usually talked themselves out of it.
They were the first people to find out when Carol was pregnant, and the first people to learn it was twins. Carol and Tommy were the first (okay, first after Robin) people to find out when their offer on a house was accepted.
Tommy ended up cutting ties with his father when he found out that Steve and Eddie were together and threatened to cut him off. Tommy had a degree, and now had years of experience under his belt, and wasn’t worried about finding another job, one where he knew he earned his position because of his work and not being the boss’ son.
And when Steve and Eddie were able to finally adopt a little girl in 2002, Tommy and Carol were at the courthouse taking pictures of the new family, their own kids already best friends with her.
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 months
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Hi so I’m 15 and in a relationship for the first time so I don’t have experience with any of this stuff. My partner and I have been doing sexual stuff for a few months now I just have some questions.
First, I was wondering how we can do sexual things in a way that doesn’t bother other people in the house. Like maybe that’s a dumb question and the answer is just be quiet but idk it’s hard bc my partner is very vocal. Also there’s very few opportunities to do stuff without anyone else home so that’s not rly an option.
Also my parents have been very weird about my relationship with my partner. Making lots of odd comments such as “i wonder if they’re having sex up there” (to my brother who is a *child*) and giving me lots of looks that just kind of make me feel really bad about my relationship. I know that sex is natural but they make me feel really bad about it and I could use some advice on what to do about that
Next, my partner and I are both interested in getting in to kink but I don’t really know how to go about it. I’ve never heard of people getting into that stuff as minors and we don’t want to do anything too crazy especially since we don’t really have access to any supplies.
You’ve definitely talked about this before but could you tell me what kind of protection is best and easiest to use and obtain for f/f sex. School didn’t teach me how to use anything other than a male condom.
Thank you so much. Sorry for asking so many questions
hi anon,
your first question is going to be pretty circumstantial; I don't know what the layout of your house is like or how realistic it is to wait for privacy. the ideal if of course to wait until everyone else is either asleep or out of the house, but I recognize that the former may be difficult if not impossible for someone your age and you've already said the latter is hard to come by. using other noises, like music or TV or white noise, can be helpful, although it's unlikely to prevent your parents from speculating.
to address your second problem most directly, I'm afraid there's no much that I personally can do to rectify that. it is unfortunately very normal for parents to have an anxious, awkward, and difficult time adjusting to their children becoming sexually curious. I think the most crucial thing to remember here is that this has nothing to do with what you're doing being gross or wrong, and most everything to do with how your parents were raised to think about sex. unless they have specific concerns they want to raise with you about sexual safety, their reactions are most likely coming from a place of discomfort that they don't know how to channel appropriately. that's not a shortcoming on your part, but on the people who failed to help them develop a better way of understanding their own feelings about sex - and, yes, on them for how they're handling those feelings now.
I'm unsure exactly what you're interested in exploring, since kink covers a very broad array of activities and "supplies" could mean almost anything, but I would definitely recommend an abundance of caution in your explorations. kink is great, but that doesn't mean it's easy for for everyone. there's a reason that you seldom hear of people your age getting into kink, which is that it generally requires a great deal of practice with navigating partnered intimacy and communication - something that few teenagers have had time to develop the skills for. kink is also something that many people find works best as a communal activity, by finding others to help introduce them around and sharing experience to help safely explore their fantasies; for obvious safety reasons, few kink spaces are looking to admit 15 year olds. by all means, do your research - Evie Lupine's youtube channel is a great place to start, with a backlog of hundreds of videos covering all kinds of kink-related topics - but be careful with how you act on it, and recognize that kink comes with more potential complications and risks than "vanilla" sex that cannot be taken lightly.
if both parties have vulvas and vaginas then you can use dental dams for protection during oral sex, latex or nitrile gloves or finger cots to cover hands/fingers, and external ("male," although there's nothing inherently gendered about them) condoms for any penetrative toys (or cut them down one side to flatten them out and make the aforementioned dental dams).
please don't apologize for asking questions! questions are how you learn and stay safe :)
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just-jordie-things · 1 year
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ik you’ve written abt megumi a lot lately but i’m in deep right now lol😭 can i request a childhood friends to lovers with him and the readers met everyone that he knows except Itadori and Nobara? i feel like meeting them with him would be very chaotic and possibly embarrassing for him
childhood friends to lovers >>>
you're probably the only friend he made in grade school, unless you count tsumiki. honestly megumi isn't sure why you insisted on hanging out with him during recess or lunch, seeing his reputation was a little... well, you know how it was.
at first he's probably a little annoyed that you keep insisting on hanging around him, but eventually you're just a constant in his life. he wouldn't admit it, but on days that you stayed home sick or had an appointment during school hours, he was a little bit lonely.
(tsumiki teases him constantly and is always asking about you)
it's not until you admit a secret to him that he decides you probably are his best friend, and will finally admit it out loud. he'll never forget the nervous way you told him that you could see monsters, afraid that he would laugh and make fun of you for such a stupid thing. you're surprised when he sits down with you and tells you all about curses and jujutsu sorcerers and the annoying man that had essentially adopted him to strengthen his abilities in the hopes that one day he could kill those monsters.
(you fall a little in love with him that day in the fifth grade when he tells you that you don't have to be afraid of the monsters bc he'll always be around to scare 'em off)
you remain attached at the hip all through middle school, learning everything about each other during study halls and late nights staying up on the phone together. you talk to him about your cursed technique, and he spends hours with you trying to better understand it's capabilities. neither one of you have any other friends, and if you thought enough about it you'd probably realize you're social rejects. but neither of you care. you had each other and you understood each other, and that was all that really mattered.
the summer before high school, megumi tells you that it was time for him to go to a different school, where he could learn more about curses and follow the path to being a proper sorcerer. you tell him you're happy for him, that you're proud of him, and you know he'll succeed in anything he puts his mind too. he's blushing. you're holding back tears.
you don't want him to go. you couldn't possibly ask him to stay.
and then one day, just before the school year started, a weird man in dark sunglasses and the whitest hair you've ever seen approaches you while you're waiting for your order to be called at your favorite cafe.
he tells you who he is, and that megumi had spent many, many hours talking about you and your abilities. he hands you a brochure, and tells you that he wants you to enroll at jujutsu tech. at first you refuse, you're too afraid of the monsters, and you came from a family of non-curse users. you'd never even told them about your abilities. gojo tells you that he'd already spoken to your parents, and he'd convinced them to let you go to a private school under the guise of your outstanding academic record.
with that, you couldn't really refuse.
megumi is ecstatic when gojo brings you to the school. gojo doesn't think he's ever seen him so happy, and he's surprised when he hugs you tightly, overcome with joy that he didn't have to be apart from his favorite person.
you're both blushing.
in the two weeks before school starts, you help each other unpack and decorate in your little dorms, which are just down the hall from each other. you admit to megumi that you're not sure if this was the right path for you, and he tells you that no matter any anxiety you might have about your new life, he'd be there to help every step of the way.
your heart skips a beat when you look up into his azure eyes, knowing that he meant every word he said. are you supposed to feel this warm and fluttery for your friends? you're not sure, but you enjoy the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, so you don't think too much about it.
you spend almost every waking minute together before school starts. it's the best time of your life. you don't think you've ever been happier. megumi feels the same. he doesn't think he's ever laughed so much in his life spending all this extra time with you that he didn't get as much when you were still growing up.
the night that he's sent to find the cursed object that was sukuna's finger, you had been practicing applying your cursed technique with a teacher back at the school. apparently the blonde man with the spotted tie was the only one patient enough to train with you from the afternoon to well into the evening.
you aren't aware of the events that transpired with one itadori yuji. you had far too much catching up to do. megumi briefly mentions another student joining our class, but he doesn't give away too much information. he'd rather hear about how far you're coming along with your technique, anyways.
a few days later, your mentor Nanami tells you there will be yet another student joining you, a young girl this time. you're excited at the prospect of making new friends.
megumi dreads it.
gojo had already mentioned you (more specifically, he'd said "just wait until you meet (y/n)! I'm sure megumi will be happy to introduce you to his girl!") to the three of them on the last assignment they'd taken together. yuji and nobara had squealed at the prospect of their grouchy classmate having a girl. megumi doesn't know how yet, but he knows he'll have to get gojo back for that one.
it's not until a few days after nobara has joined the team that you finally have some free time away from training, and you suggest to megumi that all four of you should have some bonding time.
"we're classmates. we bond enough" he'd replied gruffly, going back to the book he was reading. but you gave him your best puppy dog eyes and insisted that you must meet them.
"you think they won't like me?" you ask when he continues to shoot the idea down.
megumi huffs, finally dropping the book to his lap and staring blankly at you. you scooted closer to him on his bed.
"you're not embarrassed of me are you, megumi?" you tease, grinning ear to ear.
"course not" he muttered, turning away in hopes that you wouldn't see his blushing face.
you can still see the red tips of his ears, and that feeling of butterflies that you'd been experiencing lately returned. you tease him for his blushing. he gives in with a defeated sigh, throwing his head back against the wall as he agrees to a lunch with your new classmates.
you clap your hands, and lean forward to press your lips to his cheek without thinking. he thinks his heart might burst he could die right there. he gets up and leaves the room hastily under the excuse of finding nobara and yuji.
when the lunch finally rolls around, he contemplates pretending to be sick so he didn't have to go. he couldn't possibly handle yuji and nobara teasing him- which was bound to happen.
but you're so excited, you'd spent all morning with him trying to find the right thing to wear- despite megumi repeatedly telling you that anything was fine, and he was just going to wear his uniform.
"well that's different, you look good in your uniform. it makes me look boxy" you told him, before grabbing a different hanger and heading back into the bathroom to change for the hundredth time.
he feels hot suddenly at the compliment. you continued to fluster him, and it was starting to drive him crazy.
when you emerge in a new outfit, megumi swallows his fear (and maybe his pride too).
"that looks good," he tells you as you look over the outfit in your mirror. "you look, uh, pretty"
you grin, finding it adorable how much he struggled to compliment you. you decide this is the one, and beckon him to come with you to meet your new friends at the gate.
"they're loud," megumi warns. "and... annoying" he adds.
"I don't mind," you shrug, not thinking twice about his cautious words. "I think it'll be good for us to branch out a little"
megumi's hands are closed in tight, clammy fists at his sides.
"i guess" he mumbles. he's never felt so much anxiety in his life before.
(y/n) reaches a hand out to his, gently prodding open his fist and linking her fingers through his. he stops in his tracks, and she turns to look at him, puzzled.
"what's been bothering you?" she asks, worried.
megumi looks anywhere but at her face. all he can think about was how soft the palm of her hand is, and how it seemed to fit perfectly in his. his heart's racing. his mind is buzzing with thoughts of her. but even with her standing in front of him, he can't bring himself to look at her.
"it's stupid"
(y/n) shrugs her shoulders. "so?"
its a simple response, but it seems to do the trick to get herself catapulted over his high, high walls, because he gives in and fucking admits it already.
"they kinda know that i... like you," he says, eyes dropping to hers to watch her reaction closely. "like you like... more than friends like each other"
her mouth forms a little 'o' and her cheeks and quickly turning a rosy shade of pink. she processes the words carefully, before her lips break into a smile, and she squeezes the hand she's holding.
"megumi," she says warmly. "why does that bother you so much? you don't want them to know?"
he sputters out nonsense.
"well I didn't need them going and- and blabbing off to you! I wanted to be the one to tell you first"
(y/n) chuckles, and drags him along with her so they can continue their walk to the gates.
"I already knew," she shrugged casually.
megumi thinks he's going to die.
"but I appreciate you finally telling me," she adds. "and for what it's worth, I like you too"
he wants to cuss her out for making him so anxious over nothing, but he's so elated that he bites his tongue.
(for now, later that night he'll chew you out for not telling him sooner. you'll giggle and kiss his nose and tell him you like watching him squirm. he'll pull you against him and affectionately call you the devil)
and for what it's worth, megumi wasn't wrong. as soon as your new classmates see your joined hands and megumi's blushing face, it is open season. you want to make them calm down for your sweet, shy boy's sake, but you can't help but giggle along while they childishly, relentlessly tease him for having a soft spot.
the soft spot grows larger as he ducks his face into the collar of his shirt. his hand squeezes yours a little tighter.
silently, you tell him,
any anxiety you might have, I'll be here every step of the way. ___
got a lil carried away. i love megumi he makes me soft :')
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wonjnz · 10 months
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drunk on (the thought of loving) you
₊˚⊹ summary: five years of loving hanbin can be told within taking five shots.
₊˚⊹ genre: angst (idk if this is even sad at all.. VV SLICE OF LIFE), best friend!hanbin, collegel!au | wc: 2.2k
₊˚⊹ warning(s): swearing, mentions of drinking | inspo: that’s what you get - paramore
₊˚⊹ a/n: idk this was kinda scrapped last month .. i’ll just post this bc i wanna keep this acc alive!!!
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i. the first shot
you vividly remember watching hanbin crying in the driver’s seat.
you were the first person he called right after he got dumped by his now ex-girlfriend; and all you could do was watch and offer him a few tissues from the passenger’s side, occasionally offering a “she wasn’t all that, anyway.” whenever hanbin would rant about how much he wasted his love on her just to get ghosted.
“i don’t know anymore, y/n. am i that dumb to not notice she isn’t into me?” he asks despite his throat dry from crying, looking at you.
and that’s when you had that damn cheesy realization the moment you looked at hanbin again — the realization where you’ve stupidly fallen for your long-time best friend and that stupid, high school love you’ve been trying to avoid for all these years slowly dawns on you now despite both of you in college.
you shrug your feelings off for the meantime, “of course not. plus, you deserve someone way better.” you assure him.
the moment you arrive home, you’ve had the whole night to confirm that you were, in fact, helplessly in love with sung hanbin.
you don’t even know how it started — maybe it was during the one time he tiredly slept on your shoulder while on the way home from a field trip, or the way he’d always invite and mention you everywhere and anytime he could to the point even his friends thought you were together, and you don’t even dare try to remember how he said “i’ll love you whenever nobody is there to do it.” that one night during your nightly calls.
and as if that wasn’t already a big wave enough, zhang hao’s reaction to it felt like a tsunami.
“say you’re kidding right now.” zhang hao says in disbelief at your confession the next day, putting his drink down to focus solely on you. “you, liking your — our best friend since middle school, right after his ass got dumped?”
you frown and shrug as a reply, “i don’t know, everything just clicked that time. i think that’s like three years worth of having to interpret his mixed signals towards me.”
zhang hao sighs at your confused state, taking a sip from his coffee before speaking up, “so you’ve liked him for at least three years now?”
slowly nodding, you put your head in your hands. “god, i’m such a fucking dumbass, hao.” you say exasperatedly as you dread the day you’d grow tired and finally confess to hanbin,
“you think you’ll try talking to him about it soon?”
“i don’t think i’ll ever have the guts to tell him, hao.” you say defeatedly, looking down at your phone to see that hanbin sent another really long rant about his ex. “not when he’s still fresh out of a relationship, that’s for sure.”
“i’m just scared that once i confess, i’ll ruin everything. i’ll ruin us.”
you felt helpless, hopeless even, just the mere thought of seeing hanbin’s pitiful reaction at your confession is enough to make you pass out in the bustling cafe you were in. what more when he’ll start distancing himself days after? you were terrified.
zhang hao waves your fear off nonchalantly, “you’ll never know. what if you’re in some kind of drama and this could be your chance?” he tries to lighten the mood, smiling victoriously when you raise your eyebrows at him.
“don’t feed into my delusions hao,” you roll your eyes at him. “i'll just tell him once i'm over from this whole dumb ‘liking your best friend’ thing.”
“by the looks of it, i don't think that's happening anytime soon.”
you scoff and playfully hit zhang hao’s shoulder, receiving a small scowl from him, “but you gotta admit, we make a good pair,”
“he just doesn't love me that way.”
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ii. the second shot
sometimes you wish you weren’t too adamant on hanbin drinking his heartbreak out, especially now that you’re left with a drunk-out-of-his-mind hanbin in your apartment. (you mentally curse zhang hao for leaving earlier than expected.)
the night started off with the three of you making a toast to hanbin moving on, which then evolved into a mini ranting session about going into college life, then a sudden karaoke break, zhang hao leaving after, and now this.
you’re both slouched on the dining table, arms serving as your only pillow because for some reason you can’t walk over to your sofa, and with no knowledge of time as you ramble on about the most random topics you could think of.
hanbin hums amusingly, “y’know, even if you say nobody is there to love you, i’m always here as your best friend.” his words slurred and groggy. and even with the amount of alcohol in your system numbing your senses, you still felt that little sting in your heart, you only laugh as a reply.
“so you'll only ever see me as a friend?”
you hear him hum lowly, “of course, what else would i think of you as?”
right, of course.
“not even more than a friend?” you, or the alcohol in your system, ask again. hanbin slowly hums again, the sound softening until you're met with nothing but the sound of the bustling city outside your apartment.
a few minutes passed by and you finally gain the strength to at least sit up, the sight of hanbin sleeping coming in full view — his slight pout, light breathing with a few snores here and there, and ruffled hair was honestly a sight you wished you could look at forever. but you swear the longer you stared at him, that god-awful feeling of regret starts to feel even stronger than before.
but that night, you fell in love with sung hanbin for a second time.
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iii. the third shot
“you know, we started talking again.” hanbin shares through the phone, going silent as he expects some reaction. no way.
you shift in your seat, “seriously? didn’t you say you officially moved on like what, two years ago?” hanbin smiles sheepishly to himself before saying, “she messaged me last night, so i replied. we talked the whole time i barely slept.”
“we’ll hang out a bit after this actually! you wanna join us?” he offers innocently, your heart receiving a jab this time when you noticed how excited his voice seemed just at the mere thought of seeing her, you knew hanbin well enough to know he was madly in love yet again.
you stay silent for a few minutes before speaking up, “you guys have fun, i don’t wanna be the third-wheel between you two.” hanbin mumbles a small ‘awe,’ before eventually ending the call to get ready.
next thing you know, you’re on facetime with zhang hao bawling your eyes out about what just happened. “see i told you, he’s still hung up on her.” he says while walking around his apartment.
genuinely speaking you don’t know what’s worse, the harsh truth zhang hao was telling or the way you could barely hear his voice due to the amount of muffling and moving he’s doing.
“did you see the way he’s talking about her? he’s literally the most obvious man alive.”
“you’re really not helping me here hao.”
“right, sorry.” zhang hao immediately shuts up, humming a bit before speaking up again. “i know it’s not easy, but at least try to move on from him, y’know?” he says, his voice filled with sympathy at your state.
before you could speak up zhang hao continues on, “it’s not possible, i know, or — i don’t know, just tell him so you can get that burden off, i’m sure he’ll understand anyway.”
you groan at the thought of confessing, “are those really my only choices?”
“unless you wanna live with getting hurt over and over again, yeah.” zhang hao shrugs.
you sigh at his advice, he was right after all, but every time you remember your friendship is at stake; you back out at the last minute. “i’ve been handling this for two years, hao, don’t you think i can handle two more?” zhang hao chuckles almost pitifully.
“of course not, you’ve been handling this whole hanbin thing for, correction, five years too long. you've genuinely gone batshit crazy.”
“honestly hao fuck you because was the last part really that necessary?”
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iv. the fourth shot
god, you’re tired of hanbin’s constant compliments about her; how she’s the best person in the world, how she’s the prettiest girl he’s seen, how she’s so special and dear to him. almost every conversation you’ve had would always go back to something related about her, even if it meant the most absurd topics only you three would know. the topic could be about how zhang hao got lost in the middle of a forest and hanbin would still tie it back to her.
hell, he even mentions her even while drinking.
but you’ve handled it for five years now, so what’s the difference?
the three of you were celebrating your graduation in zhang hao’s apartment, the bouquet from your parents laying on the sofa while your togas were thrown across the room while zhang hao’s coffee table was filled with a bunch of soju and shot glasses you bought from a nearby convenience store.
“thank god we’re finally graduates, i can finally escape from all those girls taking candid pictures of me.” zhanghao sighs in relief the moment he starts downing his first drink of the night, pouring more.
“you sure? i already saw new fansites of you online, they’ll never leave you alone at this rate.” hanbin retorts, you chuckle at zhang hao's horror as he's frantically checking his twitter to see pictures of him at his graduation.
the night, cliché enough, felt like a dream. the three of you basking in the temporary freedom of adulthood before you start looking for work.
as it went on, you missed the days where you could look at hanbin without noticing the stars in his eyes, the days where you could still speak full coherent sentences whenever his attention is fully on you, and zhang hao noticed.
“it's just hard to say no to someone you really loved,” you hear hanbin say, zhang hao had brought up his ex (to your absolute horror and zhang hao's drunkenness) and you've been quiet the whole conversation.
“especially with her, it felt like i had no more to give but the moment we talked — there was still something left.”
you chuckle, not at him, but the way his words hit how you feel with hanbin right in the center. and yet you just can't refuse to give hanbin the little love you have left even when he's freely giving his own to someone else.
you take another shot to drown your feelings out more, “so you just can't say no, right?” you ask, seeing if he feels the same way.
hanbin smiles at you before nodding, placing his shot glass down to lean back on his chair. “yeah. you really can't.” he answers, confirming that you were both experiencing the same form of love. but painfully enough, just not towards each other.
god, was the truth so anticlimactic for you.
the way hanbin talks about her with the same lovestruck eyes whenever you talk about him to zhang hao, how you notice the little things in hanbin the way he also notices the little things in her — you knew it from the start.
but to see it slapped to your face despite knowing how it'll end, just felt like reality slowly kicking in the more drinks you take.
and now, under zhang hao's dim apartment lights, you realized that the truth that sung hanbin will never see you as more than his most cherished best friend since middle school, really does hurt.
you swear you were just drinking your first shot, but when you woke up to find yourself on zhang hao's bed; a loud snore coming from the living room and—
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v. the fifth shot
“you awake?”
shit.
quickly turning to hanbin's figure by the bedroom door despite the pounding headache, you slowly nod. “just woke up actually.”
as you slowly look at hanbin by the bedroom door, you immediately remember the day you realized your feelings for him — his face puffy from crying yet still so pretty under that orange sunset glow, his hands that’d usually tap on the steering wheel when he was starting to calm down again, and the way his shirt was so wrinkled in one specific area from all the bunching.
it felt almost too poetic to have that sort of realization under the sunset in his car, almost as if you’re bidding goodbye to the days you used to look at him as just your best friend.
so you, or the remaining alcohol in your system figured, rather, that you make use of the sunrise to finally welcome the harsh truth of confessing to him.
and you did.
“i love you.”
you’re met with nothing but silence, looking down to save yourself from bawling your eyes out in front of him.
“i’ve loved you for five years, hanbin. five fucking grueling years.” you manage to croak out, not noticing the way hanbin slowly makes his way towards you, nor the way his eyes significantly soften when he sees zhang hao’s sheets slowly staining from your tears.
a few minutes pass without much happening, the room only filled with the sounds of your sniffling.
“i’m sorry, y/n.” hanbin whispers, eventually embracing you to at least bring some comfort. but to his dismay, his actions just made you cry even harder; not because you just got rejected, but because of how soft his voice and embrace was it felt like he was pitying you.
in his defense, who wouldn’t? you loved him for so long, despite knowing he’s still hung up on his ex-girlfriend and regardless will still see you as his most precious best friend. all he could do at the moment was continuously say ‘i’m sorry’ whenever you cling onto his shirt tighter as support.
as you continue to cry in his embrace, you realized that under the sunset, you were there to comfort hanbin. but as you’re both waiting for the sunrise, you figured he’ll never be the one there for you like he promised.
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sirenlulls · 1 year
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satellite → r. keating (b. skeetz)
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pairings — robert keating x fem!reader
summary — what bobby skeetz would be like as your annoying boyfriend <3
spinning out, waiting for you to pull me in. i can see you're lonely down there. don't you know that i am right here?
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i feel like you'd be a long-term relationship (like teenage years long term)
ik they went to some fancy all boys school so let's say you went to an all girls school near theirs that would often go on trips together (pls tell me that wasn't just my school that did that)
either that of you'd meet through extra curriculars or overlapping friend groups
EITHER WAY met when ye were young (13-14) and got together when ye were 16-17
tbh most people thought you'd only last a few months bcs it was a teenage relationship after all but you're so chill with each other that it became very clear very quick that ye were just different
major "my girlfriend's my best friend" vibes
because of that, every inhaler fan knows you
you're no longer referred to by your name
you're just "mother" now
it's low-key a problem
like in any of your instagram posts or cute little tiktoks, at least half of the comments have a silly little inhaler pfp and are calling you mother
anyways
he's so annoying
definitely a very playful relationship
mocking eachother and all that
telling anyone else (outside your friendgroup) to fuck off if they do the same
he himself wouldn't be very public with the relationship
like you wouldn't be the face of every instagram post but you'd be in a story every few weeks and you'd pop up in the middle of a photo dump here and there
the inhaler_on_tik account however....
fans play where's wally with you in the tiktoks
usually hiding in a window reflection or the hem of your jacket poking into frame
enough to know you're there
you'd be best friends with all the fans
gigs are your opportunity to make new friends
they all adore you
so many fan tiktoks from gigs just have you dancing away with them
they'd bring you flowers <3
but yeah even if bobby himself doesn't post you a lot, fans would get pictures of you two together and they'd be so cute 😭
most of them are taken before gigs when he's helping you out of the bus or ye're walking into the venue together
but someone got a picture of you two once at some silly little market in spain and you were looking at flowers and he was looking at you
they posted it to tiktok and you asked them to send it to you
it was your lockscreen for a bit x
BIRD BINGO!!!
if you're ever traveling without him, you'd take pictures of any birds you pass and send them onto him
i really need to make sure it's known that he'd be annoying
like imagine you're just lying in bed, reading or on your phone, and he just bellyflops on top of you
no warning
no escape
you're trapped
i said the same in my eli headcanons but i don't really get spooning vibes from him
no matter what way you fall asleep, at least some part of him will be touching you
whether he's full on wrapped around you or just got an arm thrown over your torso
it helps him sleep better
you're best friends with the band ofc
i mean, you practically grew up together
you and rob never have a moment of peace with them on tour
you could be curled up in bed, and all of a sudden, elijah's busting down your door and lying down beside ye to tell you about a new song idea
you finally think you're free for a moment having a smoke by the back of the bus? nope, ryan's there now purely because he wanted to annoy ye
josh is nice on ye though (not really) (he makes fun of ye all the time) (he's my little pookie bear angel) (he can do no wrong)
they love having you around
and even if you leave the tour bus to get some snacks and come back to them trying on your dresses and robert doing josh's eyeliner you love having them around too
you're starting to get the mother thing
they do feel like you're hyperactive little children
bobby skeetz, the man that you are, you'd be a great boyfriend
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