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katherinearandez · 8 months

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I don’t think Tessa is one of the good guys

I have a lot of questions about Tessa. What are her goals? Is she really on copper 9 for the reasons she told us in episode 6? Does she have hidden motives, and if so, what are they???

The lines of “morality” in this show are super squiggly, so by “good guy”, I mean an individual with positive or helpful intent toward the main characters - in this case, drones. The concept of Tessa bearing ill-intent for drones as a ‘species’ seemed contradictory at first: after all, she’s so nice to N, V and J, right? We’re talking about someone who, as a kid, saved zombie drones from the dump(cough, mass grave, cough) where their human owners left them to rot after creating them by means of improper disposal. Why would she want to kill drones? Especially in the same callous, procedurally improper ways that created the threat of Cyn to start out with?

Well…

Let’s not forget about the evil AI that massacred her family and the guests of their gala. AFTER Tessa took her in as an act of kindness, against her parents wishes. Parents who did seem to look down on her pretty severely, regularly chained her up in her room as punishment(you don’t install heavy duty, floor anchored chains for the occasional time out) and possibly kept her socially isolated???

That last point is pretty speculative, since a lot about the earth of N’s flashbacks screams post-apocalyptic vibes. Maybe there just aren’t a lot of humans left for Tessa to socialize with. Tessa’s dad reinforces this idea in his speech by listing “currently being alive” as an attribute the Elliots are known for. It could just as well be a meta joke(since they are killed in the next few seconds), so lacking more context, I hesitate to extrapolate from this point alone.

Anywho, back to Tessa’s callous drone murder. Even if her parents were crappy by the usual standards, she clearly didn’t want them/the other gala guests to die. She tried to save them by “murdering her a robo-child”. Idk, does this blacked out redacted image of Tessa in the aftermath of the massacre seem upset??

Reasonable assumption. So adult/older teen Tessa has changed the way she feels about drones after these traumatic events. Maybe she doesn’t outright hate them, but she views them from a colder, more pragmatic angle than she did in her younger years. Does she still feel empathy for them and the horrible mistreatment they suffer at the hands of humans? Probably. But she’s now aware of the danger they truly pose and has good reason to eliminate them to ensure the absolute solver mutation no longer has a pool of hosts in which to spread and evolve.

So why the callous drone murder at the end of episode 3? We know you’re supposed to follow a 2 step procedure for decommissioning drones. Software death via lethal injection of a kill program(sounds fun!), followed by hardware death via “core removal” to ensure the decommissioned drone doesn’t reboot with corrupted software and an “increased chance for future errors”.

Did she hastily kill this random drone to keep her arrival on copper 9 secret, foregoing procedure for the sake of urgency? If so, who is she keeping her presence secret from? Is it the remaining drone population of copper 9, who Cyn used to collapse the planet core and kill all humans there? Possibly, Uzi is a prime example of anti-human sentiment, and during Mr Doorman’s parent-teacher conference he mentioned being on a “kill all humans kick when he was her age”. Perhaps Tessa assumes all the c9 worker drones are hostile to humans.

When you start making assumptions about what characters are assuming, it’s generally a good time to stop and just accept you don’t have the answers 🫠 so that’s where I will cut that line of questioning short. That being said, I’m not quite done yet…

What’s with this shelf of small human skulls in Tessa’s room? Why are the trash robots she “rescues” her only friends? Do her parents chain her up in her room because they suck? Or… do they have reasons not yet revealed to us, the audience?

Tessa’s perception among most of the fan base is fairly positive and on the surface there’s good reason for this. She’s presented as peppy, compassionate(except toward that one worker drone, lmao), ~tenacious~ and resilient. Actions like salvaging drones from the dump and perceived displays of affection and warmth for the disassembly drones leave viewers with the impression that she’s a good, kind person.

There is, however, another light in which to view her actions, and it casts a shadow on the motives we may have assumed were pure up to this point.

While it’s easy to parse Tessa saving drones from the dump as an act of altruism, it can also be interpreted as sinister. It could be an example of a character with a savior complex; a power dynamic wherein the “savior” exerts control over those they “rescue” by taking advantage of their gratitude and using it in manipulative ways. If this is the case, Tessa’s motives take a sharp left turn, flipping from selfless and kind to egotistical and controlling.

The show actually gives us direct evidence of Tessa using manipulation to get her drones to do her bidding.

“It wants paid time off…”

This instance of her using corporate buzzwords to drive J into a rage strong enough for her to bite through metal chains. Or how about her outright lying to the drones at the start of episode 6? Asserting that her intention was to “burn to the ground” labs Cyn was interested in, while later that same episode revealing to N that her “true” purpose was to obtain a list of drones infected with the absolute solver?

Preeetty manipulative. She manipulated and/or coerced Doll as well, in order to obtain the keybug. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if come episode 7, she switches it up yet again, revealing a new manipulation or perhaps, finally, her real mission.

Tessa’s manipulation of the drones she supposedly cares about isn’t the only hint that she might have a savior complex or similar egocentric tendencies. She’s also shown that she’s not very respectful of the drones autonomy, another red flag that can signal a propensity for narcissism and the controlling behaviors associated with it.

N is the example this time.

Tessa’s signature greeting for N, which is to grab his face and swing him around with excitement that borders on aggression. Maybe it’s just me, but his expression doesn’t suggest it’s mutually enjoyed. Looks more to me like he’s uncomfortable and only humoring her pep because he feels like he has no choice… after all, none of Tessa’s “dumpster pets” want to let down their saving grace.

We see this same kind of contact again throughout episode 6, with Tessa grabbing N’s face as a greeting again, and also playing with his hair on the way down to cabin fever labs. The way Tessa interacts with the drones(J and V as well as N) shows that she sees them as objects in her possession, rather than friends, peers or their own individuals with unique thoughts, wants and feelings.

Uzi even calls her out on this very mindset at the end of episode 6 after Tessa asks her sardonically to “don’t date my robot, please.”

Granted, I’ve got no solid backing, just observation, speculation and a suspicious mind. Tessa could be a great person… “good” or “bad” though, she’ll definitely try to kill our main character sometime soon, so… yup. Killing even an anti-hero typically slots you into the bad guy category, even in a show where the moral lines between good and evil are so artfully blurred.

TLDR; I think there’s more to Tessa than meets the eye, and even though Cyn is still probably Murder Drones “big bad”, I feel like Tessa has an element of villainy to her that I hope will be further explored in canon.

#murder drones #uzi doorman #tessa james elliot #theory #serial designation n #serial designation j #serial designation v

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your-local-grubdog · 10 months

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Pikmin 4: Heritage Theory

Warning for MAJOR Pikmin 4 spoilers, including: various end of day conversations, post-credit events, late game piklopedia and treasure hoard entries, and also the final boss.

As a sort of re-boot of the franchise, Pikmin 4 introduces a lot of new ideas to the series. Among them is the idea that the various alien species in the game are much more closely related than we first realized - and perhaps more connected to PNF-404 than we would have ever thought in the other three games. I wanted to go over the various texts in the game that touch on this idea and talk about them a little because, hoo boy, the IMPLICATIONS. I call it a theory in the title for a lack of better wording but it honestly just feels like a canon fact that's never directly stated. There's just that much evidence, much of which all but outright says what happened.

Apologies if the images are a little low quality, Tumblr crunched them up badly. I provide image descriptions so hopefully that makes up for it.

As this has many end game spoilers (which, final warning for those), I'm going to assume that anyone reading beyond this point knows the basics of the game's story, world, and characters. Thus I won't be explaining every last little thing.

Somewhat early on, Olimar makes the following observation in his Voyage Log:

[ALT ID: Olimar's Voyage Log, entry 60, "Lost Civilization": Some of the objects I call treasure seem to be more complex than they initially appear. It makes me wonder... who made these? And where are they? I don't sense their presence here at all, but I suppose they could be hiding in the shadows, secretly watching me. END ID]

This vaguely threatening entry does confirm that the characters, or at least Olimar, are aware that there was indeed a civilization on PNF-404 at some point. It should also be noted that the Japanese website includes notes from another character who is also aware of the ancient civilization, though the canonicity of it is debatable. I'll get back to that "they're in the shadows, watching" line in another post, as it presents its own can of worms. For now, what matters is that the characters are aware that this planet was once inhabited and Nintendo is drawing attention towards that.

Where this starts to get weird and interesting is with Olimar's Treasure Hoard entries on the Heroic Shield, Memory Fragment (Center Right), and Buddy Display. I can't show all of their text in just one screenshot and the pikipedia hasn't added every treasure note to the Pikmin 4 treasures as of writing, so I'll only be including the segments most related to this conversation.

[ALT ID 1: Treasure Hoard, Olimar's Notes, Heroic Shield (segment): That would mean these living beings must have looked something like us... I wonder who they were and what their faces looked like. Could they have been our ancestors who migrated through space to our planet long ago? (the treasure is a pin showing the helmet of a human-style spacesuit) END ID 1]

[ALT ID 2: Treasure Hoard, Olimar's Notes, Memory Fragment (Center Right) (segment): I'm amazed that such a similar species could exist in the far reaches of outer space. I've heard that organic components can travel through space on meteorites and comets. Could there be a connection between my planet and this one? (treasure is of a puzzle piece with part of a dog's face on it) END ID 2]

[ALT ID 3: Treasure Hoard, Olimar's Notes, Buddy Display (segment): I can't find any evidence of them in any of the existing creature databases. But there's something familiar about them. It's almost as if I've met them before... I guess I'll chalk it up to an ancient memory that's been imprinted on my genome. (treasure is a photograph of two earth dogs) END ID 3]

There is so much to unpack here alone. Olimar straight up theorizes that there may be a connection between PNF-404 and Hocotate, even going to far as to propose if maybe the people of PNF-404 (or at least the people who made the Heroic Shield) may be his ancient ancestors. He does also theorize that a meteorite may have carried "organic components", which is technically possible, but I'm not sure how that would occur in a way that carries said components from one non-destroyed planet to another and leading to creatures evolving in eerily similar ways. Honestly, I'll chalk that one up to an early theory of his, a red herring on Nintendo's part, and thus not something to think about too much. Especially sense, in the Buddy Display, he considers his ability to somewhat recognize Earth dogs as an "ancient memory... imprinted on my genome". While I'm not sure of the science behind such a claim, we also have to take this from a story telling perspective - which is that Nintendo is all but screaming "there is a connection here". Not just in relation to the aliens and the planets, but also in relation to the dogs.

Speaking of the dogs, Olimar's notes on the final boss of the game presents yet more evidence to a connection - this time focusing more on the connection between Earth dogs and space dogs.

[ALT ID 1: Piklopedia, Olimar's notes, Ancient Sirehound (segment): These results would indicate that 99.9 percent of the canine creature's DNA matches Oatchi's, and that the only difference between Oatchi and Moss may be the natural presence or absence of a leaf tail. END ID 1]

[ALT IDs 2 and 3, as one naturally leads into the other: Piklopedia, Olimar's notes, Ancient Sirehound (segment): If these two theories prove to be true, it would suggest the possibility that this ancient creature is a common ancestor to two canine species from vastly remote star systems. And that, perhaps, there are even more hidden secrets out there that could hint at a fascinating yet inconceivable truth the universe has yet to reveal... END IDs 2 AND 3]

I'm not sure what else to say here; the evidence speaks for itself. The Ancient Sirehound and Moss - both from PNF-404 - closely match the genetics of Oatchi, who is from an entirely different part of the universe. For the Sirehound to be genetically related to Oatchi, then members of the Sirehound's species would have had to leave PNF-404 and migrate to other planets. Their care takers - humans - would have had to go with them.

I also find it worth pointing out that the Sirehound's arena is filled with various human items, such as shoes and toys. It's honestly a little haunting to find them so deep in a dark cave, unused by humans for who knows how long. The ruined toys in particular really get to me. We don't know how old the Ancient Sirehound in particular is, but the idea that humans once hid in this cave from something or that their dog brought the items here for comfort is really depressing.

[ALT IDs: various hard-to-see images of the human items in question, including: pillows, pipes. gardening tools, a fork, adult sized shoes, baby sized shoes, various children's toys, and other objects I couldn't quite make out. All of them are either partly submerged in water or at the very edge of water, leaving them covered in mud. END IDs]

I think by now it's safe to say that, yes, humans left Earth with their dogs at some point in time. Yet there are still MORE pieces of evidence to suggest this idea, this time coming from Shepherd's family history. Because we really needed to be beat over the head with evidence, I suppose. All are presented in numerical order as shown in-game.

[ALT ID 1: Rescue Journal, Shepherd Family History, entry 1: Thanks to the technology that has come from space exploration, our lives have grown much easier and far safer, and on-planet rescue requests have decreased dramatically. But as migration into space continues to grow, our services continue to be needed. So I'm happy to announce we are extending our rescue services to the frontiers of space! Signed, Paniya Shepherd, 82nd Captain. END ID 1]

[ALT ID 2: Rescue Journal, Shepherd Family History, entry 2: We've done it at last! We have flown to space! Out in this great, limitless expanse, not a sound can be heard. And yet, I can still clearly hear the pounding of my own heartbeat. Space--how it overflows with possibilities! There can be no doubt. This is one giant leap forward for our kind. Signed, Ed Shepherd, 65th Captain. END ID 2]

[ALT ID 3: Rescue Journal, Shepherd Family History, entry 6: The Shepherd family has lived with dogs from the very beginning. We understand that if we love and respect these creatures as we do our own--if we pay attention and observe their behavior closely--then we can break down the walls between our species and truly understand one another. Signed, Kain Shepherd, 16th Captain. END ID 3]

[ALT ID 4: Rescue Journal, Shepherd Family History, entry 7: "Beyond the sky itself there lies a beautiful blue planet." Those words have been passed down from captain to captain, calling to each of us. I can't imagine what sort of place this blue planet might be, but it's said to be home to even more dogs and folks that we have here. One day, I hope to fly beyond the sky...and into space. Signed, Maris Shepherd, 7th Captain. END ID 4]

[ALT ID 5: Rescue Journal, Shepherd Family History, entry 8: Many years have passed since we first began to make this land our new home. Still, we need more time to complete our environmental adaptations. In the meantime, we must survive so that, one day, we can pass down this new history to our children, and pass down the ways we've learned to rescue and protect everyone. One day we will live here in peace. Signed, Mark Shepherd, 2nd Captain. END ID 5]

[ALT ID 6: Rescue Journal, Shepherd Family History, entry 9: The surface! We made it at last! Finally, we can begin making a fresh start here on this planet. Of course, it will take many long months and years before what we've built here will be anything like what we once had. But we won't be alone. Our beloved dogs will be by our side as we walk this long, difficult road. Signed, Aral Shepherd, 1st Captain. END ID 6]

There is so much here, all confirming that ancient Giyans (and Captain Shephard's direct ancestors) 1) migrated to this new planet in search of a "fresh start" and 2) proceeded to migrate to other parts of space many generations latter. It also hints that they know of a "blue planet" - a common nickname for Earth - which is home to more people and dogs. Most certainly, it is the planet they came from - making Giyans human, or at least an evolution of humanity, and perhaps all other alien races in Pikmin 4 (from Hocotations to Koppaites to Ohrians to Conohanins to anyone else from the twenty one named planets (excluding PNF-404) in the series) are also descendent from Giyans. It would explain why they all look so similar in game - though we can safely assume that Hocotations are at least descendent from Giyans based on Olimar's notes. Further more, the leafling cure requires cells from a non-leafified individual who is genetically similar to the individual in question. We're never told how Yonny gets these cells (and, given we're talking about Yonny, I'm too afraid to even ask) but the fact that the medicine works for anyone regardless of what their home planet is suggests that they are, in fact, more or less the same species.

How different the various aliens look from Humans is easily chalked up to evolution. We know minor changes in height could, theoretically, happen within just one or two generations spent on a planet with different gravity than Earth's. It would make sense that this would be exacerbated over many many more generations, especially if the gravity is much stronger. Which, to quote the Pikipedia, "According to Brittany, the gravity on Koppai is roughly ten times stronger than on PNF-404." Given their matching heights, it's probably safe to assume similar applies to the other planets, and thus over the generations the people shrunk. Again, the exact scientific validity of this is questionable, but given the semi-fantastical nature of Pikmin I believe we can suspend our disbelief enough to let this story work. We already have to do that for how the Pikmin as a species function, after all. As for oxygen becoming toxic in the 8th history entry Mark Shephard does state that "we need more time to complete our environmental adaptations". Be these natural or artificially induced (as he is only of the second generation), it is again safe to suspend our disbelief to say that humans just adapted to these new worlds. Besides, Koppaites at the very least retained (or possibly gained back?) the ability to tolerate at least low amounts of oxygen.

The real problems come in the time frame and the loss of history. It's never stated one way or the other if people are aware of their ultimate connections back to Giya, so I won't discuss that, but it is very obvious they have forgotten their connection to Earth/PNF-404. Furthermore, it's made clear that the Giyans lost the ability to travel through space by the 7th generation and only regained it by the 65th. If they had access to space flight, they would certainly have archives of their heritage - and they do indeed seem to have some idea of what it is, given how Earth has become a legend. Yet, the Shephard family history as far back as the migration to Giya was preserved - why not anything else? The inconsistencies and questions make this part of the tale hard for me to ignore, yet we have no answers. This is pure speculation, but if I had to provide an answer I think a solar flare hit Giya and destroyed their technology, making them start over. Perhaps these early Giyain-Humans were so reliant on technology at this point that there were no books or oral traditions to preserve this heritage lost when the tech was destroyed? Though, somehow, the Shephard family would have to be one of if not the exception to this. Again, the previous is pure speculation, but it's the best we can do for the time being.

There's also the question of when and how Earth dogs changed to look like the Sirehound, which would of had to happen before the migration to space given that Oatchi has the same body plan. And then why did Moss's species become so much smaller?

Still, even with all these plot holes, I think it's pretty damn clear that Nintendo intended for our favorite little aliens to be the evolutionary decedents of humans. How and if they'll use this plot point remains to be seen, but it does open up a whole bag of opportunities for the universe of Pikmin. One that, frankly, deserves to be explored.

#pikmin #pikmin 4 #pikmin theory #borb screams #THIS TOOK SO LONG TO MAKE AAAA #I am open to discussions and questions btw

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arminreindl · 2 months

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The NEW Ultrastenos and its Ironic History

So those that have been keeping up with my posts on mekosuchines might recall the name Ultrastenos, as I've talked about this genus back in August of last year. If you've read that post you might also remember how I highlight at multiple points that a lot of the info was tentative on the basis that Ultrastenos was highly incomplete and that close relatives awaited description.

You may also remember "Baru" huberi, a small mekosuchine that lived roughly around the same time, clearly distinct from Baru yet at that point still unnamed. Oh, how I wished for the former to get more material and for the latter to recieve a proper genus assignment.

My now outdated reconstructions for "Baru" huberi (the small one in the left image) and Ultrastenos (right image)

And then the monkey's paw curled.

As it turns out....they are the same damn animal. Now, back when "Baru" huberi was described, Willis also named a bunch of other mekosuchines from the same locality (the White Hunter Site of the Riversleigh WHA) and described even more material that remained unnamed, including the White Hunter Cranial Form 1. Now, when Ultrastenos was named in 2016, the type material was from the Low Lion Site (also Riversleigh), but importantly, the skull tables identified as WHCF1 were also assigned to the genus (and were the basis for my reconstruction).

Well, re-examination has shown that the WHCF1 and the holotype of "Baru" huberi aren't just a single species.....THEY ARE A SINGLE INDIVIDUAL.

Given the fact that the assignment of the skull table to the Low Lion Ultrastenos material still holds up, this means that Ultrastenos willisi and "Baru" huberi are a single taxon. Which consequently requires some reshuffling of the names.

"Baru" huberi was named first, so the species name takes priority and continues being used. However, since it was never given a genus name, Ultrastenos does stay valid. Except now it's called Ultrastenos huberi, not Ultrastenos willisi. A name that has aged like milk. Back in 2016 it was proposed that Ultrastenos had a very narrow snout (thus the name), so now that we know that the rostrum was flat and mesorostrine, the name really is just wrong.

So next up, lets examine what went wrong.

As I said before, Ultrastenos was fragmentary, so that certainly played a big part in it. But the team in charge of describing the animal still cited several lines of thinking to support their interpretation, most of which are now thoroughly debunked.

As an example, the lower jaw was rather shallow, however while this was initially taken as evidence for longirostry, the 2024 paper states that this only an argument against altirostry (a deep skull), not against a more generalized condition. The teeth were also initially used as evidence, citing their homodont condition (the teeth looked uniform), HOWEVER, the problem in that was that there were only a few teeth present, all of which notably do not bear any resemblance to the needle-like teeth seen in other long-snouted taxa. Another important clue initially taken to mean longirostry was the orientation of the quadrate area and the seemingly sudden constriction of the lower jaw. But the quadrate area was not found in articulation and would support a generalized skull form if simply rotated a little, while the constriction of the mandible appears to at least be partially exaggerated by preservation.

Of course, the fact that we now have proper material of the snout makes the interpretation of a generalized skull shape a lot more solid.

Image 1: The left and right halves of the mandible of Ultrastenos compared to that of Baru iylwenpeny (D), note how the right half is a lot more straight. Image 2: The initial reconstruction of the quadrate area of Ultrastenos compared to one that is slightly rotated Image 3: The revamped skull reconstruction by Yates and Stein

The size of the animal does stay relatively unaffected by these new discoveries. "Baru" huberi has been estimated at only around 1.5 meters in length and my own scaling of Ultrastenos got up to 2 meters, which seems to be in line with what is still assumed for this animal. So among aquatic mekosuchines, its still rather small.

There are however some interesting implications for mekosuchines at large. Now that we no longer have a longirostrine member of this family, one has to wonder, why is that? Well, there might be several reasons.

It could be that the types of environments that were present in Cenozoic Australia simply didn't support such animals. Even in the type description, its been noted that the Riversleigh isn't exactly known for its fish remains, leading to the idea that Ultrastenos might have gone for other small vertebrates like frogs. Hell, the ecology of Baru might suggest that the reason that this genus was so robust might tie to the fact that the local bodies of water just weren't deep enough to allow the typical crocodilian grab-and-drown tactic.

Competition might have been another factor. In environments that may have been more suitable for such morphology, mekosuchines might have been beaten to the punch by other types of crocodilians. Harpacochampsa for example, tho originally thought to be a mekosuchine, is now more often regarded as either an unrelated crocodile or a gharial and its very possible that it filling the nische of a longirostrine simply meant that mekosuchines didn't have the opportunity to expand into that space. Same goes for Gunggamarandu in the Pliocene and Pleistocene and Freshwater Crocodiles from the Pleistocene onwards. (Tho it should be noted that both Harpacochampsa and Gunggamarandu are so fragmentary that their snout shape is technically unknown).

Images: Gunggamarandu (Eleanor Pease), Harpacochampsa (ArtbyJRC) and Freshies (Antoni Camozzato) might have been key factors in why mekosuchines never evolved slender snouts.

Finally, its also possible that something in the growth of mekosuchines simply prevents them from evolving longirostrine skulls, which Yates and Stein liken to alligatoroids (notably the closest alligatoroids got to traditional longirostry as seen in gharials is the Rio Apaporis Caiman, and even that one is closer to some extant crocodiles in its morphology).

Whatever the case, I for one mourn the loss of our long-snouted Ultrastenos. Tho as a note for any paleoartists, there is not a single illustration of this new interpretation since nobody ever drew "Baru" huberi either. Wink wink nudge nudge

Links:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultrasteno

Ultrastenos revised (palaeo-electronica.org)

#long post #harpacochampsa #ultrastenos #baru huberi #mekosuchinae #gunggamarandu #oligocene #riversleigh #paleontology #palaeoblr #croc #crocodile #crocodilia #prehistory #cenozoic

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meimi-haneoka · 8 months

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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 78: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

Hello hello!! End of the month, just witnessed Harvest Moon high in the sky (the last Supermoon of 2023!), and we're back like clockwork with another chapter of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card!! I have to say the release of Clear Card chapters have often coincided with a Supermoon and I find that so funny, as well as fitting....the moon is such a big element in this arc!

And as we have seen in this arc, the moon is also a messenger of love, and there's so much of it in this chapter....feelings, conflicting emotions, but most importantly, talks of happiness. This chapter wrecked me with emotions even more than the previous one, as we finally got the Kaito/Akiho moment of "discussion" that we waited for so long....where the focal point of the entire arc is: how far can we push ourselves to make our loved ones happy? Is it right for us to arbitrarily decide for their happiness? Along the years, I've seen countless of complains for how the events of the story were unfolding, for how some characters did absolutely the hell they wanted and made decisions for others, but as I knew perfectly well, a story is something in constant development and the goal wasn't to show how helpless people are or how it was right for others to act in that way, quite the contrary. And we'll see with full force what that means in this chapter of the climax, which is surprisingly BIG (36 pages long).

I also have to (unfortunately) report a quite annoying translation mistake in the English version that can confuse people and trick them to believe that Sakura remembered about a certain someone. Along with the usual nuances and such.

BUT FIRST!!

Hehe, you know what's coming, right?

Akiho went THIS close to go full Greta Thunberg on a certain someone!!! 😂 Let's find out WHO it is under the cut!!

The Color Page

Our Sakura this month takes the color spread with one of the most beautiful portrayal of our little magician: dressed in a very elegant layered white dress with jewels, head covered by a white veil, immersed by half in a pond, she looks halfway between a bride and a priestess! And yes, I can already hear you screaming "Tsubasa!!1!1!!!!" because she vaguely reminds of little Sakura-hime at the reservoir....😆 But I think what really makes the atmosphere of this color page "magical" is the presence of countless spheres of light, which seem to be emerging from crystal water lilies and converge in a huge sphere, which really looks like the moon....just to go back to the incipit of this blog post, right? 😂 After observing this color page, I couldn't help but being reminded of the spheres of light that were featured in the color pages of chapter 52 and 63 (with respectively, Kaito and SyaoSaku). Back in my post of chapter 63 I had made an analysis about what the common thread between those two color pages could be, and especially the significance of those spheres of light. If they really are representing the feelings of love for your dearest person, then I'd like to think that here Sakura is being represented as a "fairy" fostering and releasing that love in the open, to help and save the people dear to her. Which is totally the image I'm getting not only from this chapter, but ever since we started to see what happened in the "re-written world". Sakura is literally a messenger of love. And I love that for her. ❤️

The editorial text in the JP version is referencing what Sakura told Akiho back in chapter 49, right after her "sister" shared with her the recount of her night walk with Kaito: "To me, you’re someone I want to see happy forever. Because you're my friend, and someone really precious to me"

"Blink To Say Yes"

The chapter starts with me making amends to Kaito for the nth time, asking for his forgiveness for doubting his intentions and emotional state way over what was due: as the dragon keeps flying away, Sakura grabs Akiho's hand and starts going after the creature, of course followed by Syaoran, Kero and Yue. Akiho (poor girl, still with a tear in her eye) notices with shock that the "portal" to the fake moon is completely disintegrating, revealing the real moon behind it. Flying side-by-side to the dragon, Sakura realizes that the creature got finally out of that place to avoid that Akiho would put herself in danger: in fact, with the portal disappearing like that, she might have been trapped inside that space forever! Sooo as usual, Kaito's actions are skillfully framed by CLAMP in a way that will make you misunderstand him and think he's being irrational or getting on everyone's nerves on purpose, but no, he was actually just putting Akiho's safety first, as usual. ❤️ I know there were some interpretations of him precisely doing this, but I thought it wasn't the case because Sakura broke the spell inside the fake moon, removing the pressure and all, so I couldn't see what danger he needed to protect her from: in fact, the looming danger was a different one, and it was well symbolized by those "bzzz" sounds and effects near the entrance when Akiho was getting in. I had noticed them but dismissed them as the instability of Touya's time magic. I should've known better! 😆 Sorry, Kaito. I know that the only one who can make you do anything at all is only Akiho! Therefore I'm still laughing at how Sakura tried to convince him to get out for half an hour, when all Akiho needed was to move an inch forward 😆😆😆 I also think that what she told him, the fact that she was sure to be in front of "her most important person", changed things for Kaito. His reaction was tangible, despite being hidden behind the eyes of a dragon. And therefore I'm still partially peeved and heartbroken at him, because before hearing that from her (and seeing her putting herself in danger), he was fully planning on staying inside that space forever. He was refusing to come out, knowing very well that the portal would've disappeared at any minute, eliminating any chance of saving him. How dare you.

Well. We were saying that Sakura realized the dragon's intentions right away, and we see her shouting, with a face halfway between shocked and fired-up, "This means she's important to you, too!" (good job ENG translation for not messing this up, I guess. I was worried). Damn right, Sakura. She must be so confused by this person dragon's behavior. It is all so crystal clear to her. It's not only in her head, all the signs keep confirming to her that he really does consider Akiho very important, even now, immutably. The time he spent in that cage didn't change anything for him (and that, if anything, makes everything even more heartbreaking because of how agonizing that must have been). Sakura just can't understand why this person is acting like this, since he truly does care about Akiho. Refusing to go back to her. None of the people around her behave in this way and for her it must be something very new to deal with - and this reminds me of what a blessing we had to get these new characters in this arc, so different from what she's used to, who sometimes pushed her beyond her comfort zone, hence expanding her experience and making her grow up.

Akiho seems encouraged by Sakura's firm statement, so she takes the matter in her hands and shouts to the dragon to please have a talk with her. She shuts her eyes tight, as if being desperate for him to listen to her.

And that's it. That's all it takes for Kaito to be ol' good Kaito and stop immediately at Akiho's request, looking intently at her. As if he's saying "I'm at your service". I've said it countless times in my blog posts, how Kaito is someone who really would do whatever he wants and listens to no reason, but when it comes to Akiho, he really cannot deny anything to her. Akiho sighs in relief at seeing him stopping, and she starts talking to him, so tiny in front of such a giant (is he supposed to look scary? To me he really isn't, he's quite cute) creature. Akiho is well aware, from the countless books she's read till now, that the ones who can have conversations with dragons are almost entirely people with marvelous capabilities (the ENG went for "strange powers" for this, I don't think it fits). She's got no magical powers, but she quickly comes up with a clever way of "communicating": blink your eyes to say 'yes', do nothing and stay like that to say 'no'. And so she immediately starts, because she needs to know, she needs to understand. It's her goddam*ed right to do so, and Kaito knows this very well, hence why he's not denying her the opportunity. Akiho fires the first question: "Are you the one who re-wrote the world?" Kaito blinks, admitting it. I can see a streak of sadness in his eyes as he opens them again. This doesn't make any good to Akiho, who looks pretty sad as well, at hearing that. It's like having one fear, and seeing it confirmed. But she goes on, explaining how the world she's living in right now is warm and caring, full of people who support her and dote on her as if she were one of their family. While she states this, we can see Tomoyo following the events from the tablet with a concerned face, and Touya looking more and more worn out by the time magic he's being keeping up, sustained by Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun.

Akiho is very intuitive, so it's easy to guess where the question is leading: "Did you rewrite it because I never had this, before? And for that, were you the one who erased any trace of you from inside of me?" The ENG version here adds a "Did you do it to bring me happiness?" which is not incorrect, of course, but it doesn't exist in the JP text, and as usual it's used to spoon-feed the readers as if they couldn't get there on their own (and to probably fill a bubble with something).

Kaito cannot lie to the burning question, and he blinks his eyes. We see appearing a "crease" next to his eye, a clever way from Mokona to show us that he's growing more and more distressed. The pain of remembering how her clan abused her, how they got there because of something he said, the pain that resulted from the decision he made when he was just a kid. And the next question is even more burning.

"Did I wish for it?"

Kaito does nothing, confirming he now understands that in fact, Akiho never asked for this. Never. And the girl herself confirms: "I don't remember (you), but I know. I would never wish for a happiness that did not include you". Kaito listens intently to her. I just can't imagine how it must feel to not remember a single thing about someone, and yet feeling all that love pouring out of you. Simply out of instincts.

I Want My Most Important Person Back

Then, with a very (very) resolute face, Akiho turns to her dear Sakura, and affirms: (JP) "Sakura-san. I want to bring my most important person back". Here it is again, the famous term that we CCS fans all know well, the code for "the person I love", that keeps being changed in the ENG translation to a less recognizable "favorite person", which I'm still not sure conveys the same meaning. Sakura agrees with a pleased smile, she's totally ready to do anything to give her true happiness back to her "sister". Then, she turns to Dragon Kaito, and here we start with the "parallels" that will enrich this chapter of many many additional emotions.

Yes❤️ it's a parallel with Lilie, from chapter 72. Same expression and all. Precisely from when she was telling her the words that Sakura is going to relay to Kaito now: "What is happiness, to you?".

And here I have to introduce probably the worst mess of a translation mistake of this chapter, that will surely confuse people and make them believe things that actually arent' true:

ENG: "Someone asked me that once, too. In a dream. But, try as I might...I couldn't remember who it was. Not until she crossed time and dreams to see me. I think she did that for this moment. And...I think that's why she left me this card in the end, too"

JP: "These are words I've heard in a dream. I can't really remember who said them, no matter how hard I try, but...that person crossed time and dreams in order to come to see me. It was surely for this moment. And...this last Card remained, too...was for this very moment, right?"

I sincerely have no idea how they could mess up and make Sakura say that she actually remembers about Lilie, after she came to see her. Lilie had been so clear about it, in chapter 72, that the Forbidden Magic would've made Sakura forget as soon as she exited the dream, and so it happened, indeed. Why making her basically say that she remembered, afterwards? This is against the script! Moreover, not happy with messing that up, they even made Sakura say that the last Clear Card remained was left by Lilie herself! That's nonsense, that's not what the JP text says! Momo told her that there were some Clear Cards that were protected by her with a spell and they were waiting for Sakura to call them up, that's HOW the Clear Card that we're going to see now is able to be here. Not because Lilie gave it to Sakura. And before anyone points out "yes, but the one who paid for that spell with her ring was Lilie", I have to remind you that Sakura is not supposed to know that. Momo never told her WHO paid that price. So basically this is a mess-up on all fronts. But let's go back to our story because the emotional moments are just escalating. Before Sakura mentions the Card, we can see for a moment Lilie's reflection in the Dragon's eyes. A clear sign that Kaito understood perfectly who Sakura was talking about! And I think it's so beautiful that Sakura, always listening to her intuition (remember how she wasn't very good at this, before? That she dismissed her intuition, and Syaoran told her that his mother taught him not to?), understands that THIS is the moment to get this question out, because here she basically posed this question to Kaito. And this will help him decide in a few pages.

Proceeding forward, we can finally meet the big absentee ever since Sakura secured it back in chapter 33: the Rewind Card!!! One of the most beloved Cards, obviously for its appearance that was based on Syaoran and its cuteness! This card is the last one that still had to appear and that never showed up in Clockland, a sign that Kaito wasn't able to put his hands on it and "drag it" into the fictional world created with Momo's magic. It's the last Card that was waiting to be called by Sakura. And so she does! Syaoran is quite surprised and provides a "Spiderman meme" moment when he realizes that the Card looks just like him! 😂 Sakura explains to him that Record was able to record this Card as well, so that's how she knew of its existence (and not because Lilie gave it to her, once again!!!).

It's time. Sakura announces to the Dragon that she's going to bring him back to "himself". Our girl does so because she wants to implicitly give him the chance to have a say in this. She doesn't really "ask", but it's like she's implicitly doing it, because she wants to make sure that this is something he wants too.

In fact, in a very emotional moment, he and Akiho exchange again a long stare. It's like a silent conversation is going on between them. The dragon is depicted with a painful expression, while Akiho is staring at him firmly and determined. He's still, to the very end, thinking he does not deserve to go back to his human real form and go back to her. But she's unwavering, and uncompromising. She wants him back, and she's going to have him back. Because, after all, under a pile of self-loathing and pain, this is what he wants too. This is his happiness. So, with a very suffering expression, he blinks his eyes one more time to say "go ahead". In his condition, this must have costed him a lot of effort. You know who they reminded me of, in this scene?

Yeah, them. I've been saying it for long time, agreeing with other friends affirming the same in their own posts, how I could see a clear parallel between Clone SyaoSaku from TRC and YunaAki in Clear Card. They didn't exactly go through the same things, but their experiences often overlapped. And this in particular is overlapping really well. As I wrote already in my Twitter thread, he's given a chance to go back, but he's crushed by guilt. He doesn't think he deserves it. But she stares FIRMLY at him, pulling him towards life, a life with her. And he closes his eyes, and caves in. Because in the end, this is what he wants too. To be with her.

So Sakura proceeds. She says that she doesn't know who the Dragon is, but the pocket watch does. And as said pocket watch levitates in the air from Akiho's hands towards the Rewind Card, Sakura explains that it does know him because it used to "weave time" together with him. And so, combining the Card with the watch, Sakura activates Rewind on Kaito, exactly as I expected!

And the moment is absolutely emotional, as we finally see again after 8 long chapters (and relative months), our dear Kaito's face!!! The way the Rewind Card "works" on him is also quite spectacular, from a visual POV, since the pocket watch seemingly "enters" the dragon and frees Kaito from within. The fact is, we don't see the pocket watch after he changed back, so now I'm wondering: did it stay inside of him???

But, whoops, something didn't quite go alright. The black wings of the dragon stick to Kaito's back. Kero observes him and wonders with Yue if he's been a creature like them this whole time, but fear not, Yue dissolves the doubt right away: he thinks he's a regular human magician (the kanji says 魔術師, magician, while the furigana reads ひと, person), it's just that the spell that was active on him (the "Seal of D", as we know) was probably so damn powerful that even borrowing the pocket watch's power (as said in the JP version) wasn't enough for Rewind to bring him completely back to his appearance. Well, you want my opinion? Those wings look FANTASTIC on him and I absolutely want him to keep them!!! (maybe with a little spell he can conceal them when it's not convenient?) 😂❤️ He looks like a dark angel and it's amazing.

Don't Decide My Happiness On My Behalf

But the real, heartwrenching emotional moment starts here. This is also the moment when I started emitting all kinds of inhuman sounds, so I'm grateful I'm not one of those people doing a live reaction on youtube or something because this would be the end of my reputation on the internet 😂😂😂😂

Akiho and Kaito, finally in his original human form, exchange a long stare, again. His face is showing perfectly how he's absolutely heartbroken at what he realized he caused to her. It's guilt adding over guilt. And as she finally looks at the face of the person her heart knows is the one she loves, she can't stop the tears from forming again in her eyes, while she poses the only REAL question that she probably wanted to ask all along:

"Why?"

And as I always do with pivotal moments, I'm going to continue with the direct translation from the JP text, because the ENG added something ("why did you leave me?", which contributes to convey Akiho's feelings and possibly makes this even more romantic) that wasn't there in the original, and I have to be impartial.

Akiho, JP: "Why did you choose to disappear....from the rewritten world?"

I wanted to put the JP version here also because an important verb is missing from the ENG version: choose. Akiho is questioning Kaito about his choice. Because yes, this wasn't a result of a whim, Kaito chose to disappear from her life. And now he has to answer for that. Akiho's face is twisted in pain, as if she's trying to control the tears that now profusely fall from her eyes, and contain an immesurable grief in realizing that her most beloved person chose to remove himself quite definitively from her life.

His reply, though, proceeded to shatter my heart even further, cause it's exactly what I expected and have been saying this whole time.

Kaito, JP: "Because I thought I wasn't necessary to your happiness"

This is the only line we'll hear from Kaito in this chapter. For the rest of it, he'll listen in silence, giving space to Akiho and trying to elaborate. Besides, I want to point out that for the first time ever, he uses "ore" as a personal pronoun while talking to Akiho, and he's also seemingly dropped the use of keigo, the polite speech that he used with basically everyone before. Signifying that he's finally being honest and open, he's being his true self.

In his reply, there's all the self-loathing and hurt and pain he's been experiencing till now. Not recently, but ever since he was a baby. Remember that this boy grew up completely devoid of love in his life, completely abandoned to himself, exploited for his powers by a congregation of criminals. Kaito is, himself, a victim of abuse too, and I would want the CCS readers to acknowledge that more. Because if we have to wonder how we came to this situation, well, this is how. This is the damage that growing up in that kind of environment can cause to people. And we don't have to go that far because, if we remove the "magic" factor from the Association, we can find environments of that kind even in our daily real life. Growing up in that environment didn't stop Kaito from developing attachment to a person. From developing love for them. But, as he grew up not knowing what his self-worth was, being used as a commodity by other people, he's been convinced this whole time that he was nothing to her. That when he managed to accomplish his goal, he wouldn't need to be there because she didn't need him anymore. And I know, I can hear you, "How is it possible that he didn't notice how Akiho looked at him and how she loved him?" That's precisely because of his mental condition that prevented him from seeing or even believing what he was seeing. Kaito thought that he was born alone, and he'd die alone. That no one would ever be able to love him. That's why. And it's heartbreaking that someone would live their life like that.

With such a condition, Kaito's intentions were good but he went down a twisted path to make them true, completely missing the right way to go about it. Akiho doesn't know anything about this, but the heartwrenching scene that follows is something that's absolutely in her right to say. It is something I anticipated so so much.

Akiho, JP (lit.): "Please don't decide my happiness for me! Even if it's you! Please don't tear up and throw away my most important person!!"

Sadness and anger are mixed with Akiho's tears while she pours out all of her pain. I wanted to feature the literal translation of the JP text because I think the verb used, 破り捨ててしまう, depicts a very heartwrenching scene in my head. It is a verb that it's akin to when you tear up a piece of paper and discard it in the trash.

This is literally what Kaito did with his existence, when he went through with his plan.

So Akiho here is not only scolding him because he dared depriving her life of her most important person (and she doesn't care if it's he himself, he's not allowed to do that), but also BECAUSE HE DISREGARDED HIS OWN LIFE IN DOING SO. He's treated himself as a disposable object. And Akiho can't stand that. She loves him so much, despite not remembering a single thing about him, that she can't stand the thought of him hating himself to that point. I think, the way the ENG translation portrayed it, focuses too much on Akiho scolding Kaito for not having the right to remove himself from her life, and completely misses the other, implied, darker part of her line.

Akiho is understandably wrecked and she would want to scold Kaito more, but as she says herself, she doesn't even know what name to call him with. He erased so much from her that she isn't even allowed the luxury to remember his name. But I think this scene here might actually be a foreshadowing for him to reveal his true name to her later, so I'm waiting in anticipation for this (I've been actually waiting ever since chapter 51!). In the meantime, to break a little the drama with a funny moment, I think she wanted to call him baka, but as she doesn't even know his name, she can't do that! 😂what do you think???

And as I always say, Eriol suddenly opens the communication with Sakura to bring bad news! 😂Kaho is exhausted and can't hold the time stopped much longer (furthermore, it seems even Eriol is participating to keep the spell up), so he informs Sakura of that and she thanks him with a worried face. Syaoran looks up and notices that a hole is appearing in the stopped environment, signifying that the time magic is wearing off. So Sakura turns to Akiho and asks her what she wants to do from now. Notice that "from now" well, cause it's very symbolic: it's as if Sakura is saying "other people chose for you till now, but now you're given the chance to finally decide by yourself". With a painful face, eyes drowned in tears, Akiho ponders for a moment and then says that she's been really, really happy to be part of Sakura's family, but if that's not real, then she wants to go back, no matter how much hardships and pain is awaiting ahead. Please register how difficult it must have been for Akiho to wish that. Because right now, she's got all she wanted, love, a warm family, friends and even her most important person is here with her. But the fact is, this arrangement was created by someone with magic, it's not real, it's not how things naturally came to be. Moreover, no matter how strong her love can be, she still doesn't remember anything about her most important person and all she experienced with him, and that is something that is eating her soul away, because she recognizes that she lost something invaluable. So she's willing to let go of all this comfort to go back to the life she had before, WELL KNOWING (because Kaito confirmed it to her earlier) that in her previous life there will also be a lot of pain awaiting her. Moreover, she adds that if there's anything she'll be able to change, then she wants to do that with her own strength (again, a detail that's missing from the ENG translation). And then, turning to Kaito with a very assertive face: "Together with my most important person".

Kaito at this point can only stare in shock at her. Because I'm sure that he thought that after making her cry and suffer this much, she wouldn't have wanted anything to do with him anymore. But, as Kaito hopefully will have all the time to find out, this girl's feelings are no joke. It's no flimsy crush. This is the type of love that binds you to your soulmate forever, and gives you the strength to forgive them when they make you suffer, if you can recognize that their heart was in the right place. Akiho wants to grasp control of her life, wants to be the one to completely make decisions from now on, but she also wants Kaito with her, not only by her side but also participating to those life decisions. She doesn't want to cut him off.

Sakura, with the sweetest smile ever, tells her (JP)"If you two will be together....everything will surely be alright". And here I have to point out two things in the ENG translation: that single "together" that sounds a bit overcautious, not specifying who's together, when in the JP text it's clear she's referring to those two (because the context comes from the panel right before), and then the choice to translate Sakura's iconic invincible spell with "I'm sure it'll work out". That's not how the English speaking fandom knows Sakura's invincible spell as, and from what I've been told, it's not even how it's been translated previously! So this makes pretty difficult for the English speaking fans to recognize that she's uttering her invincible spell here!

Especially cause, look what a wonderful and touching parallel they have done...

The one you can see above is coming from Volume 5 of the old manga, and it's the very first time Sakura uttered the invincible spell, releasing the Light and Dark Cards from inside herself. This parallel, where you can see that Mokona sensei strived to redraw the spread exactly as she did back then, really gives off a feeling of "coming full circle", especially cause when you put them one beside the other it's so easy to see how much Sakura grew since then. Back then, Sakura told those words to herself to comfort herself in a moment of panic. Now, Sakura is telling these same words to a beloved person in a critical situation, to encourage her that if she'll be with her most important person, everything is going to be alright, no matter what awaits ahead. It also reminded me of the comforting words that Yukito told Sakura back in volume 12 of the old manga, the night before Sakura ran to the bus stop to give Syaoran her teddy bear. Yukito told her that as long as both she and her most important person wished to see one another again, it would be fine. I can kinda sense that Sakura wanted to comfort Akiho in the same way, that as long as she and Kaito stay together, they can overcome anything ahead. And I found that absolutely wonderful.

Unfortunately, the awesome moment full of courage and love is interrupted because Syaoran notices the time magic has given up and the arrows start attacking them again, as expected. We see a very worrisome panel with Eriol crouching to the ground next to a passed out Kaho (poor Kaho!!!!), while he hold his staff and sends a remote protective spell to shield the kids from the oncoming attack.

Without wasting time, Kaito grabs Akiho and holds her tight in a protective embrace, curling his beautiful black wings on her to shield her, while she's still shocked (and with tears in her eyes). I have no shame in admitting that THIS panel turned my screams in ultrasounds and it's become my favorite one of the chapter!! Especially cause here we have that magician who couldn't even bring himself to touch his beloved Akiho's head to comfort her, now finally not hesitating anymore and holding her in a very tight embrace to protect her (still giving all of himself for her, I guess it's just his way to love her). The situation is dire: Syaoran activates his Fuuka Shourai to fight the arrows off, while Kero and Yue shoot their own attacks, because the arrows just keep coming at them non-stop. Kero tells Sakura that they're going to take care of the attacks, and Yue says that she's the only one at this point who can change radically the situation. Then, Syaoran, our brave hero, says that he will absolutely protect what Sakura wants to protect (I didn't like the ENG phrasing, at all!! "Whatever it is that you want to protect" sounds so dismissing towards Akiho and Kaito?? Is it only me having a bias at this point?), so he urges her to focus on what she can do (to change this situation)!! I found this moment very exciting....everyone is placing their hope in Sakura and they're gonna do what they can to protect everyone, Akiho and Kaito included (and Kaito took personally care of protecting Akiho by himself).

Sakura is left wondering what to do. "To turn things back to normal, then I should use Rewind one more time" but she expresses doubt at it being enough to complete the task, so she wonders what else she needs to do, while the final page shows in her hands both the Time Card and the Rewind Card!

Aaaaaaand this is how the chapter ends, we finally reached the bottom oh my gosh!! 😂 This chapter was so long but also so full of emotions, I really wanted to touch all the important topics and parallels that have been portrayed in these 36 pages. I know the post became infinite, but I wouldn't feel right to know that I left something interesting out.

I am so damn proud of my Akiho girl. Her assertive discussion with Kaito, tinted with a touch of anger, was exactly what I wanted and expected from her. Because she's sweet, yes, but also got a strong personality. And once you get her fired-up, she's not going to stop. She's a bulldozer. I mean, haven't you seen what she did in chapter 52/53 and 58 with Kaito?? She's definitely not afraid to confront people thanks to her strong nature. This finally elevates her character development in this arc. I'm also grateful to Sakura and her empathy, once again, because it's so beautiful to witness what she's doing for these people. And she's so wonderful that even her loved ones are helping her in this quest, because they all trust her and recognize that this is a way to make her happy too. I'm absolutely thrilled to have Kaito back, finally. And my heart bled for him when he gave that single answer to Akiho.

Despite seeming like we're almost at the end of the run, there are still some important matters to fix and explain, especially in regard to the magical artifacts, and how things will be once Sakura effectively manages to "go back". Will they remember, first of all? And will the situation be exactly like before? Because then, Akiho will have the artifact inside herself once again and they'll have to do something about that too. Also, Kaito's lifespan was pretty bad by the start of the Alice in Clockland play, so of course one has to wonder what they'll do about that too. I also expect one more YunaAki moment because we haven't really heard Kaito's version of the facts, the origin of his quest to save Akiho and how that turned into a "I'm going to give her a happy life too", which absolutely seems beyond what he would need to do if what moved him was only guilt for what he caused to her. Of course it's not only that. And I also expect to hear his apologies to Akiho, of course! ❤️ But gradually, because he must be a confused, hurting mess right now. Whatever else CLAMP sensei will decide to give us regarding those two, I'll take it as a blessed present. We're slowly but inexorably going towards the finale. I really can't wait to read the next chapter, which is expected by Halloween on October 31st! And as a YunaAki fan I can't avoid remembering that even chapter 48, when Akiho confessed covertly to Kaito, came on the day of Halloween of 2020! Will we get a real, spelled out confession exactly 3 years later???

As usual, I await your comments here or in my inbox, see you at the end of this month!!

#cardcaptor sakura #card captor sakura #clear card arc #ccsakura #ccs spoilers #sakura card captor #chapter 78 #translation differences #yuna d. kaito #akiho shinomoto #sakura kinomoto #syaoran li #yunaaki

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thefirsthogokage · 9 months

Text

The level at which Drew Barrymore is fucking up is INSANE

[Image ID: a pair of tweets from from Claire Willett (@clairwillett) from September 11th, 2023 that read:

I know Twitter is not a universal barometer but boy if I was Drew Barrymore’s PR folks I would be gravely concerned about the number of well-known actors on here basically saying “WE WILL NOT BE FORGETTING THIS”

they’ll be skipping your couch on the next press junket, ma’am

unclear if this is a bad-faith question or not but I’ll say that just within the last hour in my own twitter feed I have seen

Joshua Malina

Bradley Whitford

Evan Handler

Anson Mount

Lisa Ann Walter

Roxane Gay

/End ID]

The link in the tweet leads you to the tweet below.

[Image ID: Lisa Ann Walter QT'd (on September 11th, 2023) a tweet of hers from April 17th, 2023 that reads:

Hang out with me & my new sister @DrewBarrymore Tmw!

On @DrewBarrymoreTV

I love her.

And you can tell by my enthusiastic oversharing.

Featuring - the gross recipe me and my High School BFF slapped together.

The tweet includes three tweets with the two of them from Barrymore's show.

The QT reads:

Don’t know why this is going around again-but please note the date: Before both strikes.

I’m a unionist.

I’m proudly re-elected to #SagAftra National & LA Local board. I’m on the NegComm. I chair LA women’s committee and am on WAY too many others. I’m also WGA.

I Don’t X lines

/End ID]

Other tweets that she was talking about:

[Image ID: a tweet from Bradley Whitford on September 11th, 2023 that is a QT of Variety tweeting this article about Drew Barrymore owning the decision to come back and claiming she's not violating strike rules (yes she is because hers is a WGA contracted production). It reads:

Oh, you own it. For sure, @DrewBarrymore. And we’ll never forget it.

/End ID.]

I'm sorry, my anxiety is going up a bit with all of the messiness this post, so I'm not going to do the IDs anymore, and my phone is being mean. But here are others, starting with Evan Handler:

Anson Mount:

Before that he also retweeted Bradley Whitford's tweet, but I'm running out of room.

Roxane Gay:

And there was another one where she rt'd someone basically backhandedly slamming Drew Barrymore for being the host of this year's National Book Awards.

And then, saving the best for last, Joshua Malina has been going scorched earth on Barrymore and reminding people The View is also scabbing. Honestly love seeing it and highly recommend him as someone to follow. A lot of retweets of others as well as original tweets:

He's talking about a hat with the thing that let's custom text scroll. What the person he QT'd is referring to is his hat saying "Drew Barrymore is a Scab".

He actually started hounding her on Sunday, after it was announced very late in the day that she was coming back on Monday.

I love Josh Malina.

Fuck Drew Barrymore.

Also, fuck every celebrity who crosses the picket lines. (This includes Oprah (who also hasn't donated any or her billions to Maui and instead asked others to donate even though she also has a home there which she got through shady deals and wouldn't let anyone use it as a shelter in an emergency) and Brook Shield's who went today.)

(Also fuck other celebs who liked Drew's post about coming back including Lily Collins, Cara Delevingne, Jennifer Aniston, Kristen Bell, and Jennifer Garner and I'm honestly not surprised by the four of those, don't know enough about the first one.)

#josh malina #bradley whitford #evan handler #anson mount #lisa ann walter #roxane gay #wga strike #sag afra strike #drew barrymore #fuck scabs #fuck drew barrymore #fuck oprah #fuck brooke shields #fuck lily collins #fuck jennifer aniston #fuck jennifer garner #fuck Kristen Bell #fuck cara Delevingne

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artist-issues · 5 days

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To Re-Write Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Here's a peek into my storytelling process, and what I think the third movie of the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy should've looked like. You know me. Everything starts with the Main Point. (I'm not going to talk about what's bad about Rise of Skywalker in this post, it'll be long enough already.)

The Main Point: "Where there is love, there is hope."

Essentially, the main message of Star Wars is "Faith Triumphs Over Fear." Our main message supports that, because it's hard to keep the faith when you're alone, or feel alone. But when you have friends, or loved ones to fight for, keeping the faith is easier, and gives you something other than fear to focus on.

So. I'm going to structure this like "Where a Character Was at the end of TLJ --> Where They Need to Be by the End of EP 9."

Most of these characters don't need any more development. They learned a core lesson at the end of TLJ: now they just need to hang on and put it into practice no matter what plot points test them. Stick the landing. We already had their "Proposal, Argument—" now we need their "—Conclusion."

The only exception to this is Kylo Ren. He still needs development. You'll see:

Rey

It's Not About Who I Am; It's About Doing the Good I Can Do --> Tempted to Make a Selfish-Insecure-Identity-Based Decision; Chooses to Do the Self-Sacrificial, Good Thing Instead.

This means Rey needs to have a goal she's trying to accomplish, but this time there's not really a "and then I'll know who I am" element in it for her. Like in TLJ, she was going to find Luke for the greater good, but it was also, on a personal level, because:

But this time, after TLJ, she needs to start out on a mission that doesn't have anything in it for her besides the greater good... to show that she's grown in the right direction, she's not thinking so much about who she is and what she needs, anymore.

Then, on that mission, during that adventure, that character growth can be tested by having the opportunity to get sidetracked by something that could be self-validating.

I wouldn't make it be something about her parents again—we've exhausted that topic by the end of TLJ. But I'd make it something that has to do with being "The Last Jedi, the Heiress to the Light Side of the Force." I'd set the movie up with people telling her that, eventually, Rey will grow to be the legend Luke Skywalker was.

Maybe in the time between TLJ and this movie, the Resistance have run enough rescue missions of refugees or people oppressed by the First Order to pick up a bunch of kids or very young recruits. And those kids have heard of or seen Rey in action by now. Maybe Broom Boy is even one of them. And there are scenes of kids being in awe of Rey, or one of them even says, "after you beat the First Order, will you train me, Master Jedi?" or Maz herself makes a sage comment like, "Look how the Light has grown in you. The Galaxy needed that light...and the Force answered with you, like Luke Skywalker before you." Or during a fun opening-rescue mission, there's a scene where all of the people Rey is helping look up to her and explain who she is to one another in front of her.

Scenes providing her with an image of herself, as the future trainer of the Jedi Order, "when all this is over." Something that she could be tempted to find her identity in.

But then during the course of her mission, she has the opportunity to do one of these things

Gain Amazing New Jedi Knowledge

Kill Kylo Ren and Gain Renown as a Hero

Sacrifice Some Measure of the Power She Has Gained in the Force

And if she chooses the thing that will make her seem more like the Heroic Heiress of the Heroes, that would derail her from her mission and show that she's still thinking about herself—but if she chooses to just do the self-sacrificial, kind thing in the moment, it would help her mission. Yet, it should make her future as someone of fame and importance in the Force uncertain—so that option is also self-sacrificial. Thats the choice she has to make.

And when she makes the right one, we see, not that she got to Be Somebody and vanquished her fear of "dying a nobody" from the first time we met her—

—but that she's not even afraid of that anymore. It's okay to "die a nobody," if everyone else is better off. Because that was a self-focused fear, anyway, and it no longer has power over her. (For lots of reasons—one of which being she now has friends.) Character growth. Star Wars.

Finn

Good Can Win if We Focus on Saving Loved Ones Instead of Destroying Hated Ones --> Tempted to Get Revenge, But Sacrifices Revenge to Save Someone Else he Loves

This means Finn is focused on getting something/keeping something that will provide aid/protect the people he has come to love. Most of his screen-time can be focused on this, to build on showing how far he's come. He should have multiple opportunities to run away, whether it be from First Order troops attacking a Resistance base, or from the scene of a conflict when a rescue mission goes sideways—but instead he keeps staying in dangerous situations to help loved ones.

My favorite scenario to place him in, for this, is in a covert-ops mission where he's infiltrating First Order stormtroopers. He already knows the system, but we've only seen him exploit that knowledge when it's to save his own skin/cause hurt to the people who abused him in the First Order. He doesn't like to be around First Order troops because he hates them/he's afraid of them. But in Episode 9, after TLJ, I'd be showing Finn, choosing to stay where he's surrounded (even if unknown) by people who could uncover his true identity and kill him at any moment—and doing it because it protects the Resistance, in some way. I'd also broaden that focus—he's specifically doing it because it helps the larger cause, not necessarily because his actions will directly save anyone he loves, like Rose or Poe or Rey.

But—at some point in this movie, someone he's attached to dies. I think the most obvious choice is Rose, but she was the one who taught him about avoiding hate and saving loved ones. Revenge for Rose would be far from what Rose would want, so it wouldn't tempt him. So instead I think it should be either a new character that he spends most of the first act of Ep. 9 bonding with believably—or it should be Poe.

Poe, or a stormtrooper he really likes who has just come around to leaving the First Order when she is brutally killed. (I do think Poe, or someone we've seen him "grow up" with throughout the first two films, should be the one to die because otherwise it wouldn't be as tempting for Finn to get revenge, at this point in his arc.)

Then Finn pursues revenge, near the climax of the film. But at the last second, a-la-Luke-tossing-away-his-lightsaber, Finn gives up the opportunity for that revenge and does something else. Something useful, that saves Resistance lives, but causes the person he was about to exact revenge upon to escape.

That's how we see that Finn has come full circle—not only is he willing to stay when things get frightening and hard, and not only is he willing to fight for people he loves...but he's willing to act out of that love, not hate, because of what he's learned.

Poe

A Leader Sacrifices for the Greater Good of Others, Not For His Own Pride --> Tempted to Make a Hero's Stand; Gives Someone Else the Opportunity Instead

This one is tricky because it's hard to make a scenario where a leader makes a choice that is exciting to watch...when the choice is "don't make a heroic last stand."

It's tricky. It's not impossible. (Rian Johnson did not see anyone up for failure. The TROS storytellers just refused to problem-solve when it got hard. Thats all I'll say about TROS.)

Basically, this means that Poe needs to start the film out at the head of the Resistance. He's still going on missions, but his role in those missions is coordination. One team gets to be the distraction—another team saves the day. Then when both teams are done with their missions, and it looks like they'll give their lives for those missions because there's no way out, in drops Poe. He's been coordinating everything; he's just the getaway car driver.

Then there's fun banter scenes where he reports back to Leia, she's critiquing some of the messy parts of the plan but ultimately proud of him, they bounce ideas off each other, and it's clear it still rubs him the wrong way not to be on the frontlines, but he's enjoying parts of the new challenge of leadership anyway. And they're closer than ever.

Eventually, however, Leia is captured, just before the climax of the film. Like Finn, Poe drops everything the Resistance has been working toward and is intent on saving her, and he's taking a very active role in that. But then, due to her own reminder, he chooses to abandon rescuing her at a pivotal moment to do something that will ultimately turn the tide in the Resistance's favor during the climax. He lets Leia make the sacrifice, and he himself is making the sacrifice of getting to save her and have her back, for the greater good. It's a harder path, but it's one she was preparing him for this whole trilogy.

All of this is if Poe doesn't die to further Finn's arc.

Kylo Ren

It's Better to Destroy the Past in Conquest Than Face My Failures --> I Was Wrong

Biggest one.

Kylo Ren is on the Dark Side because he believed that he was destined to be a monster, nobody would keep loving him if that was his destiny, and leaning into that destiny would help him escape the hurt that nobody-loving-the-"destined"-him caused.

I'm not going to elaborate on that, it's as plain as the nose on his face if you watch the movies and listen to what his family members say about him and what he says about himself. That's why he embraced the Dark Side.

But Rey, Chewie, and Leia are still alive, and all three of them can claim to know the "real him," and try to convince him that he was wrong—he was never destined to be a monster, and they do love and believe in the real him, no matter what he's done.

However, he isn't likely to believe them. He's least likely to believe Leia—she sent him away before he'd done anything wrong, and he has now done many things wrong that are singularly hurtful to her. He's second-least likely to believe Chewie, because he killed Chewie's best friend and Chewie shot him (and also, it's not compelling for the audience for Kylo Ren's mind to be changed by a character that doesn't speak English or emote with human facial expressions.)

He's most likely to believe Rey. Because 1) she did not kill him even after he chose to be a monster all over again, and she could've done what Luke almost did and prevented more monstrous deeds by killing him while he was unconscious. And 2) on a deeper level, she never knew "Ben Solo." She only ever knew the monster, and yet she's still choosing to tell him that he's not stuck as a monster.

So. The movie should start with Kylo Ren as Supreme Leader, doing his utmost to gain power, crush the Resistance, and wipe out any reference to the New Republic or the Jedi. But the key difference is that he's not singlemindedly focused on Rey and Leia and killing them anymore. That's not because he's grown from his "I want every gun to fire on my Uncle" obsessive flaw. It's because he finished TLJ by being closer to regretting his decisions than ever before. In his subconscious, he's afraid of encountering Rey or Leia directly ever again, because now he knows how weak his own resolve is, at this point. He'd rather avoid a direct fight unless he knows he can withstand "the pull to the Light." (He's not admitting any of that to himself.)

So he starts the movie on a mission. But now we enter our bad guys.

Hux.

Hux has only ever existed in these movies to be a counterpoint to Kylo Ren. Where Kylo Ren is explosive, emotionally led, and tangles his personal interests up in the interests of the First Order—Hux is calculating, a strategist, and dedicated to the First Order's cause.

He's at his most passionate when giving speeches about the First Order's might, or when that might is being mocked, or when it is being misused. And he has always hated Kylo Ren. In the script for the Force Awakens, in Hux's introductory scene, it literally says "Hux hates Kylo Ren." That's what he's there for. To be everything to the First Order that Kylo Ren is missing—dedication to the cause, and finding his own sense of pride in that cause—and to hate Kylo Ren. So. When Kylo Ren gets to be Supreme Leader, and his personal issues are jeopardizing the whole First Order? Hux is going to put a stop to that. He doesn't have the Force. But he has control over his strategic mind, and he knows that Kylo Ren's weakness is his emotions.

So, Hux orchestrates some kind of scenario where they learn Rey's location, or next-known location. She's going after some important tech or artifact that could turn the tide of the war. Hux purposefully pokes at Kylo Ren's ego, and maybe faintly suggests that Ren is avoiding a confrontation with the girl who beat him twice and "murdered the Supreme Leader," until Kylo Ren flies off determined to get to the artifact or tech Rey is after first—and prove he's willing to kill her in the process. To himself, and the First Order.

Then Hux orchestrates an Order-66-style assassination attempt on the Supreme Leader with a group of loyal troopers. It should be in a starship flight over the planet Rey is on—Kylo Ren wouldn't believably be overcome in any other scenario. And he takes out almost all of his would-be traitor assassins during the attempt, anyway. But his ship does crash, and Hux takes the mantle of Supreme Leader, and our other heroes spend most of their time dealing with this rabid strategist and his war plans.

Meanwhile, Rey finds Kylo Ren who is barely alive and has to do something to save him. That something should, like I said above, cost Rey something. She should lose a particular Force-ability, or be permanently disabled in some (easily-hidden) way as a result of healing him—or she should lose an artifact, or lose something that would've boosted her identity as Savior of the Galaxy down the road.

But I wouldn't let Kylo Ren figure any of that out right away. For tension, I'd have him remain unconscious for the entirety of Rey saving his life and sacrificing something to do it. Then I'd have her need to hide him, then leave the scene, because she's still on a mission, and Hux has sent the Knights of Ren on the same mission. Then later, Kylo Ren can come to, catch up with her, and they can come to an agreement on looking for the thing they came for together, fighting the Knights of Ren along the way—even if they both know that this alliance will only last until they find the thing they each came to this planet for.

Kylo Ren has closed himself off to any Force bond with Rey. He's stubbornly insisting that he's using her—she's a means to an end. She's quietly certain that he'll come around, but she's not pushing it this time. She'll do what she has to do when they reach the end of their mission, but she's not worried about it. And she hasn't told him, or is hiding from him, the fact that she saved his life again. Because she knows, now, that he's not ready to hear any pleading or reasoning about coming to the Light. He has to get there on his own, and she can't force him (get it?)

They have lots of tense conversation and interesting team-up moments and almost-friendship, almost-betraying each other moments the whole time. Like they're in the Hunger Games in an alliance. Until eventually, the First Order's forces are converging on them (knowing both are alive) and Leia arrives—apparently to rescue Rey—and Kylo Ren, determined by this time not to let Rey go in any sense again, especially not to let her get to the end of her mission first, tries to board the Millenium Falcon and stop her. But it was a trap. Leia allows Rey to take a small craft to the end of her mission, while she and Kylo Ren face off. Leia won't let her son get in Rey's way if he's determined to stay on the Dark Side—and she certainly won't let him get the tech/artifact that might restore him to being the Supreme Leader.

(This whole standoff-stalemate-Leia trapping Kylo Ren in a ship with herself can be what Poe initially wants to save her from, too.)

Basically, at this point, whipping out her knowledge of Rey saving his life and pointing out that Rey believes in Ben Solo even after never having met him, Leia changes Kylo Ren's mind about all of it. If not for Rey and what Rey has shown him with her patience and steady faith, Leia wouldn't have been able to do this. But it works, and Kylo Ren leaves the Millenium Falcon as Ben Solo, finally, and he's determined to help Rey, who is racing toward the artifact/tech/final battle.

This is the bare bones. I'd add in or decide between a lot more elements—what is Hux's plan to wipe out the Resistance, what is the thing Rey/Kylo Ren are after, how does infiltrating Stormtroopers help the Resisrance in stopping whatever Hux is doing, does Finn have the Force, what're Chewie and the droids doing during all this, does Leia die at any point during her attempt to change Kylo Ren back, and is the final battle between Rey/Ben and the Knights of Ren? Or just one Knight of Ren who became the leader when they decided to turn on Kylo Ren and work with Hux? Or is the final battle against Hux and his forces?

I'd answer all those questions and try to do it in a way that interconnects Finn, Poe, Rey, and Rose's storylines. But this is just the bare bones of it all.

The conclusion is the tricky part. I don't think killing Kylo Ren works, even if he's redeemed. Not only because he's the last of the Skywalker/Solos. But because killing him makes Leia, Han, and Luke's hope for him feel kind of hollow. Especially if Leia dies to bring it about, which Han did already. "Our little Ben got to come back to the good side...for the last ten minutes of his life! Yaaay we always knew he could do it" NOPE. That's silly. And also, it's bad for his arc. He's a character that has been running from his bad decisions, thinking that stacking more and more on top of them will satisfy him. So what he needs is not a heroic-death-shaped back door out of the consequences of those bad decisions. He needs to face them.

And I also think, depriving Rey, a character who always wanted to stop being alone, of an organic if difficult relationship with someone who understands her, is a dissatisfying conclusion for the main character.

It would be best to have him live. And then he needs some difficult, but ultimately hopeful road ahead to mending his mistakes. Obviously the whole galaxy would be baying for his blood as justice, if they knew that the former Supreme Leader lived. So he probably needs to assume a new identity, just to avoid being executed for his crimes. (I don't think any Resistance member who knew Leia would be on board with executing Kylo Ren, once the war is over and they have to make that decision outside the heat of battle.)

Then he needs to do something that helps repair the wrongs he's done...but it should be something that costs him, personally. If he's come to value Rey as the only person left in the galaxy he cares about, I'd actually end the movie separating him from Rey. Not forever—because that would be as unsatisfying as killing him—but for the foreseeable future. Then I'd send him on a pilgrimage of some sort that will undo some things he's done. Obviously he can't bring back the lives he's taken. But, maybe whatever cataclysmic artifact or thing they were after did some damage across the galaxy during the climax—and Ben Solo can figure out how to reverse that damage, or repair the thing, but it'll be a long, hard road.

I might send Chewbacca with him. But that's it. It's basically atonement-exile, in disguise. In the meantime, Rey wouldn't be alone because she'd be with Finn and Poe (if he lives) and all her Resistance friends. And they'd start finding homes for the refugees from the war. I wouldn't directly end on Rey starting a Jedi school—not by herself. Only if she's doing it with Finn, or with Finn and Leia if Leia lives. Because again, we're going for "it ain't all about you and who you are, Rey."

That's what I'd do. Feel free to use this as a template or a springboard for your own ideas, (and hey send them to me if you do) because basically anything would be better than what we got with TROS. But this is just what I would do, bare framework.

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king-paimon · 9 months

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Houseki no Kuni Chapter 104 Thoughts: "My Way" By Frank Sinatra

Hello everyone! I hope your month had gone by well. Mine had been...eventful, to say the least, though I suppose things could have turned out much worse.

Anyways, that's not what this is about. I just finished going through the latest chapter and... wow. That last image. Many fans have pointed out the signs, and I think it's safe to say that those last few pages confirm how this long saga is finally going to end...

BUT before I get into that, as always, I'll share some of my thoughts in this post. This will be long and ramble-y as usual (I truly meant to keep it short this time, I swear! It just kept getting longer and longer...) and I may come back to update some things. And as always, please feel free to share your own thoughts!

BTW: After reading this chapter a few more times and struggling with a title for the post, "My Way" by Frank Sinatra kept popping up in my head. It's honestly pretty fitting. That's why it's my title now. Please look up the song and lyrics when you get the chance and you'll hopefully see what I mean.

View of Humanity Through Untainted Eyes (Or lack thereof...)

Like the last couple of chapters, this chapter was dialogue heavy and it was admittedly hard to pick which parts I liked the most. Eyeball's (Or should I address him as "Brother"?... I'm sticking with "Eyeball") dramatic performance at the beginning was very funny and informative. It really showed how much he not only hated humanity and yet valued the professor during her final moments. And his talk with Phos at the end of the chapter was engrossing. But for this section, I'll mostly focus on Phos's interactions with the pebbles; I'll focus more on the first pebble in the following section.

Phos has truly become a teacher/mentor-like figure ( and dare I say even parental figure) for these pebbles, especially because of how they spoke to them. Phos literally reminded me of a thoughtful pre-school teacher with how patient they are with each of the pebbles and giving them the chance to express their differing opinions and giving what I think were appropriate responses. In some ways, Phos's mannerisms in this chapter reminded me of Adamant, though Phos's approach with these pebbles seems more gently, at least to me.

Hmm...You know what's funny? As I was writing this portion, a little thought popped into my head claiming that Phos may have inadvertently adopted more of Adamant's habits than I first realized. I'll try to explain more on this in the next portion.

But let me first go back to another thing that I liked about Phos's interaction with the pebbles: their individual responses. It could have been so easy to have the pebbles all be likeminded after hearing the history of humans, but that's not what we got. Each pebble had their own opinion; some were curious, some were scared, some were right in the middle, and a few seemingly blasé. I don't know why but I like how these varying responses further emphasize that the pebbles individuality goes deeper than their varying appearances and mannerisms. And I'm also thankful that Phos and Eyeball weren't seemingly perturbed by their responses... at least Eyeball wasn't.

"I want everyone to be happy": Naivety or Profound Point of View?

Now let's focus on the main pebble, because of course, out of all the responses, their response to Phos and Eyeball had the most weight despite how simple it sounds on the surface.

You can argue that the pebble's response was due to their naiveté, but I think this pebble has repeatedly shown that their nuanced view of the world around them is sophisticated and mindful. After being told by Phos and Eyeball about how fascinating and yet awful humans were and even acknowledging humanities good and bad qualities, the pebble still believed that everyone deserves happiness, even those considered "bad".

I couldn't agree more with Eyeball and Phos on this page:

At first, I thought that these innocent and yet wise responses reminded me of old Phos, but the more I thought about it, this couldn't be further from the truth. While Phos was also very naïve at the beginning of the story, I think they were to lost in their own heads to truly think outside of their own unrealized desires, even when they claim their actions were to help everyone. So if you were to tell old Phos the stories of humanity and ask them the same questions, I don't think we would have gotten the same answers the pebble gave. And the more I think about, I doubt Phos would have ever made the same conclusion at any point in their story. There's nothing wrong with that, but that just has me thinking... It's interesting how this small pebbles seem more empathy for others than the previous human descendants, from the Lunarians, Admirabilis, and the even the Lustrous, even though they looked more human.

Tell me what you think! This was weird character analysis tangent and I'm curious to know if anyone has feels similarly or differently. But speaking of Phos's character... Onto the next section!

Friend to Closed Off Guardian: The barrier between Phos and the pebbles

While I was typing the paragraph that focused on Phos's mentor-like persona, I made a small realization. Is it just me or doesn't Phos's interactions with the pebbles feel different now? Yes, I pointed out that Phos is acting like a kind teacher in this chapter and I could be overanalyzing this, but while this interaction is cute on the surface, I can't help but feel there is more to this interaction. This is why I brought up Adamant, for Phos's interactions with the pebbles in this chapter reminded me of a certain aspect of Adamant's old relationship with the Lustrous.

As you may recall, Adamant assumed a leader/guardian role with the Lustrous over time. He had many reasons of doing so, including for their protection, but assuming this role came at a price; Adamant ended up keeping the Lustrous at an emotion distance. With the exception of Antarctictite and eventually Phos and Euclase, Adamant closed himself off from forming true close relationships to the gems, for their sake and his, effectively creating a barrier between them. This barrier only became obsolete after Adamant finally relented and opened up to the Earth gems after Phos's first attack on them, and even if it were just for a short time, Adamant and the Lustrous interacted on a somewhat equal footing.

Now lets go back to how Phos initially interacted with the pebbles. Not long after Phos found the first pebble, they didn't interact like how Adamant used to with the Lustrous. The two talked freely and sang together without a care in the world. Though Phos and this pebble are vastly different in many ways, it was clear that Phos saw them as a friend. An equal. And Phos was happy.

But now look at how Phos interacts with the pebbles now. I don't see Phos's interaction with the first pebble or any of the pebbles the same way anymore. Yes, Phos encourages the pebbles to speak freely, but to me, it feels like the same can't be said about Phos now. Phos isn't speaking as freely as they did before. They are selective in how they address the pebbles, kind of like Adamant. Phos is acting more like their guardian rather than their friend... like Adamant used to. Phos is fully embodying Adamants old role now and it's a little sad the more I think about.

After being alone for so long in more ways than one, Phos had finally found beings who treated them like a real friend. But because something in them changed, Phos is now slowly but surely assuming their role as the pebbles guardian and in doing so, that friendship connection is being replaced by a similar barrier that Adamant once donned.

Like I said, I'm probably overthinking this and giving Haruko Ichikawa more credit than what's due, but I just can't help but think about the parallels here. What do you think?

Acceptance: The End is Near

The last thing I'll touch on are the last few pages because...wow.

If I remember correctly from posts made by some keen eyed fans, the story had been hinting that the main sun is about to die. And one of the final stages of a star's death is that it would expand into either a red giant or a red super-giant, which was being depicted in that last image.

And if I'm interpreting those last few pages correctly, it seems that both Phos and Eyeball are aware that the sun will eventually consume the Earth. It will take a couple more thousand of years, but as we've seen here and in the previous chapters, time doesn't matter. The real end of everything is coming and those two are accepting it.

Yup. It looks like we have true confirmation for how this saga is going to finally end. And just like those two, I'm ready for it. Not out hatred or anything truly negative towards this series... I just feel like I'm ready for that final curtain call for this unique, thought provoking, and strenuous story.

I just hope the end will be a worthy end.

WHEW. This post ended up being even longer than I originally intended! Sorry about that. Regardless, I hope you liked it. Please don't hesitate to share your thoughts, even if you don't agree with me!

Until next time!

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #hnk #hnk spoilers #hnk thoughts #hnk chapter 104 #hnk phos #hnk spoiler #hnk phosphophyllite #hnk meta #hnk manga spoilers #haruko ichikawa #hnk manga #lotl #hnk adamant

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theinstagrahame · 5 months

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It's been a wild few months here at theInstaGrahame HQ, but what never fails to make me happy is the rad games I get from the mail. I'm getting over a cold, so I'mma work on this instead of anything productive I could be doing!

Here's my month of RPG mail calls, and why I'm hyped!

Coriolis: The Last Cyclade: I've been curious about Coriolis' Middle Eastern-themed sci-fi vibes for a while, so I put this on a Secret Santa wishlist; and this is what I got! Excited to dive in.

Curios: Albrecht Manor and Jasper Park: Good Luck Press is one of those game design teams I'll try anything from, and the pitch for this is really unique. It's not an RPG per se, as much as a collection of books, papers, maps, and other materials that point toward a mystery you get to figure out. Playing it is just... looking through stuff.

Salvage Union: I am a big fan of post-apocalyptic media, and a fan of the mecha genre. So, yeah, this was an easy sell. It's built on the Quest system, which I've been meaning to get more into anyway, and it looks like a mech repair manual!

The Zone (which I apparently thought people would just recognize): This game is available for free online, but the box set is gorgeous, and features some designers I love. Trying to set up an online session soon, but I do really want to play it in person.

Deimos Academy: Honestly, I picked it up because of the creative team, but also the pitch is great. I skipped my high school reunion, but if there was a chance to go back and face a monster? I might've thought about going.

Brindlewood Bay + Nephews in Peril: I was originally just going to get the super popular Elderly Detectives Solve Eldritch Crimes RPG, but the title of the expansion/mystery book was just too perfect.

Rebels f the Outlaw Wastes: I've already mentioned I like post-apocalyptica? Well, this took a neat approach to achievements/leveling that I was super intrigued by, and I just dig the fun vibe. The reason I like post-apocalyptic media is that it's hopeful, and this feels moreso than a lot of other stuff.

Skyrealms Almanac and Creatures and Folks: I've been into setting guides this past year. And like, this one is also a coloring book? Hell yeah.

Stoneburner: I've been following the creator on Twitter and elsewhere for a while, so I was curious about this title. But definitely sold when they talked about some of the inspiration being the original Starcraft games.

Forgery: Again, picked it up because I really like Banana Chan's work, but this is a paint-by-numbers solo RPG about forging a demonic painting. So like, yeah. That's rad.

Vast Grimm: Space Cruisers: Vast Grimm is Mork Borg in Space, but I'm also a big fan of ship catalogs, so I really wanted to check this one out.

.Dungeon: Everything Snow makes is beautiful, queer, and nostalgic, so when they mentioned a re-release of .Dungeon was coming, I really wanted to check it out. I have a lot of nostalgia for the

Cloud Empress (everything, including a patch!): I mean, you say Nausicaa and I'm listening. This has some roots in that world, but also does some really interesting things with the Mothership game engine. I'm especially intrigued by the notion of replacing racial traits with age traits, and having a series of pretty mundane jobs as the classes.

Layers of Unreality: The first of this month's Zine Club deliveries! I keep hearing about Liminal Horror, and this particular module I've heard nothing but incredible things about. So I'm really hyped to check out what happens in these backrooms.

Fear the Taste of Blood: My second Zine Club book this month! Kayla Dice is one of those really rad creators who I think deserves more attention than she gets, so I'm really hyped to dive into this take on classic movie monsters.

I also got this from my partner's family's Secret Santa.

Okami is one of those games that sticks with me, and has ever since I first saw images from it, and played it. It's a genuinely beautiful experience, and while it's maybe not a game everyone will like, it's one that I really enjoy, and the art is a big part of that.

It stands out as an example of what you can do with a video game that's nearly impossible with most other art forms, and also a reason that I don't think the Arms Race for More Photorealistic Graphics in video game consoles is worth the effort.

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emotionallychargedtowel · 1 year

Text

“I mislead audiences on purpose”

I was talking with @firepony67 a while back about something I noticed even further back, and I realized it’d probably be worth putting in a post. And then I sat on this draft for a while longer. But I’m trying to write up some of my lingering thoughts about Utsukushii Kare now, so I’m finally circling back to this. I’ve written before about how Sakai Mai (Utsukushii Kare’s director) has stated that she tries to follow the yaoi manga tradition that places semes on the left of an image/frame and ukes on the right and how this plays out in Utsukare. If you’re interested in more depth on this topic, this post is a good place to start, but you might want to work your way up from my last reblog and then move upward. I got a lot of help with finding background quotes on this from @xnoel and relied on translations of press material from @sparkling-rain (as usual, I highly recommend checking out their master post of translated Utsukare articles and other stuff). The screenshot-as-pull-quote below is from @sparkling-rain’s translation of this interview with Sakai Mai from the first season’s visual book.

When I was looking into this issue, I came across a quote from Sakai about the seme left/uke right thing that included a reference I didn’t quite understand at first.

(A quick note, because I had to look it up: your “oshi” is a celebrity/idol that you support/root for/are a fan of/advocate for. And I gather it sometimes applies to other types of people or even things? But it seems it’s mostly used in reference to famous people and related stuff.)

So, what did Sakai mean about misleading the audience on purpose in the hand-kiss scene? It was only when I went back to re-watch season 1 a while back that I figured it out--or at least, figured out what I think she meant.

In episode 3 of season 1, we see the hand kiss from Hira’s perspective. It’s one of the few times Kiyoi is on the left side of the frame. And it seems fitting for him to be in the seme spot. He’s initiating a few different kinds of closeness with Hira in this scene. Not only does he initiate physical contact by asking Hira if he wants to kiss him and then offering him his hand (even though he pulls it away the first time before Hira can get close), he also asks him a bunch of personal questions and drops some hints about associating with Hira more (like when he tells Hira to always keep his camera with him in the future, showing an investment in Hira’s availability to do certain things that suggests they’ll be spending time together). Basically, he’s moving towards Hira, in his prickly way. If he’s pursuing in a sense, then he belongs on the left side, right?

But Sakai said she was misleading the audience here. And in episode 5, which is the first episode in which we see things from Kiyoi’s point of view, we see this scene from another angle, both in the literal and figurative senses of the phrase.

At first we see the hand kiss from the same angle as before. But after that, we get this counter-shot. I wish I knew how to make gifs because Kiyoi’s expression here is only truly visible when he’s in motion. In a screenshot like this one, you might think he doesn’t look terribly affected, but his eyelashes are fluttering like mad. (If you’re familiar with the show it’s a pretty memorable moment, so in that case you may not need to see it again to recall how significant an effect this has on Kiyoi.)

And where’s Hira now? He’s on the left. This whole thing was Kiyoi’s idea, yes. But has he stayed in control of the situation? For all his posturing and faking Hira out and everything, in a very real sense he has lost the upper hand. He offered his hand, yeah. He knew Hira would probably try to make use of the opportunity. But how could he have known that Hira would literally bow down to him in such an abject way, that he would kiss his hand in such an intense, devoted manner and turn this gesture into something so loaded with meaning? Or, maybe more to the point, that he would give him such a case of the vapors?

This is actually a prime example of the way Hira, by ostensibly debasing himself, actually takes control of an interaction with Kiyoi. In the act of making himself a “servant,” he also simultaneously makes himself “Lord Hira” (the one who “gets stubborn about the weirdest things”). That’s a whole other topic I also mean to write a post about, but for now, suffice it to say that Hira has taken the leeway Kiyoi gave him by offering his hand and has used it to turn the tables on Kiyoi in a certain (very real) sense. When you get the full picture by adding in Kiyoi’s perspective on this moment, you can see that Hira is still very much a seme in this interaction.

I have an additional side note about the little fragment of subtitle in this screenshot (which uses @lollipopsub‘s subtitles, which are no longer up as of this writing but I hope will be available again at some point--they’re very thoughtfully done, with an attention for detail that you don’t find in either Viki’s or GaGa’s subs for this show). Echoing Hira, Kiyoi says here that they were like “two dots that never connected.” Kiyoi continues by saying, ”until the last day of high school.” But for Hira, even the events of that day, kiss and all, didn’t constitute a connection. When he says the same thing about himself and Kiyoi as “dots” that “never connected,” he just follows it up by saying, “and eventually the last day of high school came about.“ I find it really interesting that Hira can assert himself in his sneaky but undeniable way, blow Kiyoi’s mind with this tiny gesture, and still look back and tell himself, “nah, we never connected.”

Anyway, that’s what I think Sakai Mai may have been implying by flipping Hira’s and Kiyoi’s usual positions in the frame for this scene initially but then reasserting them when showing the same event from Kiyoi’s perspective. And I think that’s what she meant when she said she “misled” us.

#utsukushii kare #utsukushii kare season 1 #utsukare #hira x kiyoi #utsukushii kare analysis #utsukushii kare discussion #utsukushii kare meta #sakai mai

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ccrisntok · 1 year

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Heathers au part 2 💀

Okay, off the bat, this one is worse. this post is much sadder than the first one.

TW// Blood, Death, Corpses, Suicidal thoughts/actions, Guns, Homophobia, Violence, Eating Disorders (Again, basically anything that happens in Heathers: The Musical.)

Also, spoilers for Heathers, and DRDT!!!

As I said, this post is a bit more serious than the first one. You need to read the first part to really understand this one btw. sorry. I'm too lazy to explain things again hdafkjlds

This post will have the sad parts of the au, since it's basically a story run-down, but imma still try and keep it a little silly at least.

But there will be a part 3, since I literally can't post all of the images (I have over 30.) And part three will be a lot more light-hearted (just fun doodles, and some cut images from this post), so if this ones too intense, just wait for that one <3 or. dont. thats cool too. Btw I'm gonna re-use a few drawings from the last post for story progression <3

Again, credit to @another-danganronpa-fan for the original au concept!

(First off, a better rendition of the Heathers + Xander. I didn't make any other full body refs because I got lazy. Anyway, I wanted to talk about these guys a lil more in this post. Character relationships and whatever.)

I feel like the Heathers as a unit all fucking hate each other. David guilt trips Arei into staying and threatens to reveal that shes queer if she argues with him, Arei makes fun of him for having severe mental health issues, and Arturo belittles both Arei and David, constantly commenting on their appearances, which he considers "Barely acceptable", basically its a cesspool of toxicity.

Xander, your average, emotional totally not British boy, doesn't really see any of this and thinks the Heathers have it so easy, and even idolizes them a little, especially David. Or rather, whatever persona David gives off to others.

This leads to him being recruited, in combo with his forgery skills, and his British accent. Cuz, yk, British accents are hot to some people.

So Xandy gets to be an honorary Heather. This is fine for like, 5 minutes before he is immediately asked to humiliate the shit out of Eden, which he does, begrudgingly. He does this by forging a note to Eden from her crush, Arei, inviting her to a party Ace was hosting that night. Arei doesn't know about this plan until it happens.

at some point between this and the party, Xander sees Teruko beat the ever-loving shit out of Levi and Ace, and he's like "oh wow 😳", which is the first time he ever notices her.

As the party starts, Xander starts getting drunk as hell, and during so, makes some kind of jab at Ace in relation to his ED (I couldn't really find a way to incorporate Heather Duke's bulimia into David, so, sorry Ace.) This leads to Ace fucking hating him with a passion.

this does not end well btw

Xander parties rlly hard, and that ends up escalating to him accidentally publically outing Eden at the party (while wasted & high), which leads to Eden being humiliated by the partygoers. Arei, who does actually like Eden as well, obviously doesn't out herself and helps in Eden's humiliation for the sake of self-preservation.

Eden's like "wha" bc she still thinks the note was real, and is super confused and hurt by Arei's reaction.

I don't believe the two would be childhood friends, like cannon Heathers, I feel like they would just. Like each other. Steal glances occasionally, wave, and smile. Stuff like that from someone like Arei would mean something, at least to Eden. And seeing what she thought was so clear shatter would hurt her a lot.

After this, Xander fucks off because him and the Heathers get in a huge fight, and he finds Teruko like. In the bathroom or something hiding from the party. I didn't really want to make him break into her house so. I didn't :) they uh. hold hands or something, and then they fall in love wooooahhhh whoda guessed

So Xander vents about his imminent death bc Art's mad at him, and Terukos like, "yeah... lets go apologize....." (she does not want to apologize). so they pull up and Xander's like "I'm sowwy Art i wont do it again" or something and then uh.

(why is the family guy death pose so hard to draw) Art drinks some Kool-aid or something that Teruko mixed with drain cleaner and dies.

Xanders like, "NOOOO WAHT THE FUCK" and Teruko, who obviously wanted him to die, is like "oh. we need to cover this up as a suicide". They do just that, and in the wake of his death, Arturo is seen as even more of an icon than he was in life, since the fake note portrayed him as an actually kind, tortured soul.

Arturo's ghost haunts Xander from this point on, basically just calling him stupid the whole time.

so after this, David and Arei are like, "Aye uh. Art's dead. You wanna hang out in the woods with us and Levi and Ace?" And Xander, desperately trying to not seem suspicious, says yes. Arei didn't really want to do this, but David forced her, and brought tons of alcohol with the intention of getting Levi and Ace drunk so they would fight and it'd be funny. He hasn't taken up Art's spot yet, so he's still kinda chill.

they. do fight, and Xander's kinda like "oop", but David's hoping it gets violent, for funnies.

it gets kinda personal..

Then it gets REALLY personal 💀

And Levi ends up beating the shit out of Ace.

Now, not unlike canon, I don't know what circumstances got Levi disowned by his parents. I feel like in this au, he probably moved in with Ace and his folks, which would give him another reason to put up with Ace's shit. Out of literal necessity. And like, they are probably friends to an extent.

Anyway, after this, rumors spread that Xander was actually the one who beat the fuck out of Ace, unprovoked. Since Ace is like 3'2 or some shit, people think Xander just beat him up bc he was an easy target without Levi around or something.

This happens because of a combo of Ace not really remembering what happened, his spite towards Xander, Levi lying about it, and David agreeing with the story (again, for his own amusement.) Arei doesn't really care enough to speak out, and Xander's reputation goes from already dead, to decomposed.

He vents to Teruko about this, cuz that went soo well last time, who makes up a plan. She tells him to tell Ace and Levi that he really wanted to fight them, and she would bring a "fake" gun to scare them with. (btw shirtless levi just to warn you) (and a dead body. and blood.) (prob shoulda put those first)

This goes about how you would expect (can you tell I gave a bit more of a shit about these guy's deaths than I did Art's....sorry homie). Instead of doing what Kurt cannonically does (hauling ass in the opposite direction), Levi actually tries to help Ace, with no luck.

I made a longer version of this but Im trynna stay in the image limit so. Anyway, Teruko is like "look what you diiidd Levi he trusted what you said and now he's dead! Ok bye" and then shoots Levi too.

Xander is losing his fucking mind, and really upset, obviously. But Teruko is like "I did it because I love you...." and manipulates him into really believing they did somewhat the right thing, because Ace and Levi were bullies, and ruining ppls lives.

They frame Levi and Ace's deaths as a double suicide. Teruko convinces Xander to portray Levi and Ace as gay lovers who, "killed themselves to escape an unaccepting world", since they contributed to Eden's harassment over her sexuality.

This leads to Ms. Hu publicly speaking up in support of queerness, which leads to the harassment following Eden, and the fear holding Arei back to subside a little, as the student body is moved by Levi and Ace's super real emotional romance.

Ace and Levi's ghosts join Arturo in haunting Xandy, and Xander regrets like. Every choice he's ever made.

Xander and Teruko's relationship is kinda deteriorating, and David decides to take officially take the mantle in the aftermath of Arturo, Levi, and Ace's deaths.

He gets kinda goofy, and starts harassing Arei more severely. This takes a head at an assembly Ms. Hu throws for teenage mental health, where she encourages the kids to vent their frustrations and grievances, which would "set them free."

Arei finally takes the opportunity, and confesses about her turbulent home life, David and Arturo's harassment, and that she struggles with suicidal thoughts. David takes this as a personal attack on his reputation since she mentioned him, and berates her, until she decides to try and end her own life in the school bathroom.

Xander stops her, and tells David to fuck off.

This ends with Arei and Xander becoming better friends, and they start to bond over their shared care for Eden. This reminds Xander how bad he fucked up with his best friend, and reminds Arei that she really does care a lot about Eden, even if she wishes she didn't.

Speaking of Eden, after everything that had happened, the deaths, the harassment, and what she thinks is the loss of the two most important people in her life (Xander and Arei), she also decides to take her own life, Ace and Levi's suicides nailing it into her head that she didn't belong. She wanted to escape to a world that wouldn't judge her, like Martha, and death was the only way she felt she could do that.

She jumps off of a bridge, but ends up surviving.

Xander, obviously fucking horrified, rushes to her side. After seeing how hurt she was, he kinda realizes how serious death is.

He killed people, all because Teruko felt they needed to. He realizes his relationship is toxic (only took a kill count of 3), and decides he can't do it anymore.

He ends things with Teruko, and goes home. He figures this is the end of it, but the ghosts haunting him tell him that Teruko was coming back, and she was mad. Oh no!

After Teruko breaks into his house, Xander locks himself in his closet and listens to her mad ramblings.

She says she's going to bomb the school, killing everyone inside, and she wants to do it with him. The whole school was basically in the building for a pep-rally, and she wanted to frame it as a school-wide suicide pact, with a signed "suicide note", a fake petition she'd passed around the school during the mental health assembly.

Xander, out of options, ties himself to the ceiling and pretends as if he has hung himself, which he hopes will stop Teruko's rampage.

Instead, Teruko decides even if Xander was dead, she was going to kill everyone anyway.

After Teruko leaves, Xander chases after her, grabbing a kitchen knife as protection, with the intention of killing Teruko, and probably himself, for the sake of the school.

After realizing Xander is alive, Teruko doesn't stop her plan. She's even more dedicated to it, and Xander is dedicated to stopping her.

The two physically fight for the bomb, and in the scuffle, Xander ends up stabbing Teruko in the stomach. He takes the bomb, and begins to leave with it, with the intention of using his body as a shield so that the school wouldn't be damaged if he ran out of time.

Teruko stops him, and in one more act of weird, toxic, love takes the bomb from him, and says she will blow up herself, and only herself.

Xander lets her take the bomb, and Teruko walks out to the front of the school. Xander watches as she lets it go off, killing her instantly, and tells her to say hello to God, having faith that maybe her death could grant her forgiveness, if there was a higher power out there to forgive her at all.

........

annnnndddddd I'll draw the aftermath in part three!

Holy fucking shit, I HAVE BEEN TYPING THIS UP FOR LIKE 5 HOURSS AAHH

I'm proud of it, though! There are quite a few images I had to cut, since Tumblr has an image limit and I made way too much, but that's what part three is for, in combo with a little of the aftermath! I just didn't want to split up the story into two parts, since I wanted it to flow well. I hope I managed to do just that.

Hope you enjoyed this fucking roller coaster, and I hope to see you back again for the DRDT Heathers finale! Which... wont be that epic, or anything, but hopefully fun!

#drdt fanart #drdt #drdt spoilers #ace markey #eden tobisa #xander matthews #teruko tawaki #arturo giles #arei nageishi #david cheim #levi fontana #hu jing #tw blood #tw death #tw violence #tw murder #tw ed #idk what xander and teruko's ship name is dkfasf #heathers the musical

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elvisabutler · 2 years

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Hey, baby! Love your work!

Can I ask for a Austin x reader where he’s dating a doctor during the wrap of Elvis and she is just tending to him when he gets hospitalised?

physician heal thy boyfriend

summary: your boyfriend is austin butler, star of the hopefully soon to be smash hit elvis. your boyfriend has a habit of pushing himself too far for this role. your boyfriend finds himself in your care while being completely and utterly out of it and sick as a dog. you are- mildly not impressed, but mostly a little worried. fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 ) pairing: austin butler x doctor! reader rating: t word count: 1952 warnings: hospital setting. talk of austin's hospitalization post elvis. talk of austin's injury to his head with the guitar. talk of medication and hallucinations. austin being sick as hell. reader is a doctor. mild implications of a panic attack. imagery of austin being very sick. brief mention of COVID as well. author's note: thank you for this request and the compliment, anon! it always delights me to have people enjoy my writing especially when i know it's not always everyone's cup of tea re: pairings or content. i didn't go super into detail re: the details of austin's hospitalization since- we don't know the exact exact details and i'm not a doctor myself. i hope you enjoy! and apologies for this taking a hot minute, i was trying to focus on kinktober stuff during october and things like this got opened and noticed and worked on- but not posted. also consider this a thanksgiving gift for all the americans who celebrate it. can't bring y'all food from my sil ( who will not let me cook for the family just yet ) but i can provide you fic food. and know that i'm super thankful for all of you.

It's not as if you didn't think this would be a possibility, you had gotten lucky the last time he injured himself- the time with the guitar that you still give him a good ribbing for- and you had been off and not at the hospital and thankfully stitches weren't necessarily your forte, you saved them for the surgeons. However, nothing in the universe, no amount of logic could have prepared you for seeing your boyfriend groaning on a gurney, looking at you with glassy eyes that mean he's not all there. He's physically there, yes, but his mind is either in a haze of a fever or completely given over to whatever pain is inflicting itself on him in the present moment. There's a part of your heart that stutters at the image, a part of your brain that is overwhelmed with sheer panic at seeing him like this. An actor is supposed to be a safe-ish profession, one where you don't have to worry about your significant other being hurt and showing up in an emergency room or at a hospital unexpectedly. Yet here you were, looking at him being struck down by an illness that came out of nowhere- at least- you're pretty sure it did.

Everyone downstairs had gotten him mostly stable from what you've heard and what you see in front of you. You try and not let your mind wander to what he looked like when he was brought in if this is stable, but the thought pops up nonetheless, making you stop in your tracks for just a moment as you took deep breaths. He was alright, you knew how to do your job, you could help him and stay with him. He could use his- he could use the fact that he has just wrapped Elvis- or something they'd make an exception for you just this once.

His current predicament was more your specialty than his guitar injury. Dealing with what would have been a normal case of appendicitis was easy even despite the now present extra complications. Austin- despite your strong suggestions that he maybe should take better care of himself- didn't take better care of himself, turning what could have been something simple into a much rougher infection and gave him lymph nodes you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. If you weren't so worried you're pretty sure you'd make a joke about how he really is trying to become Elvis with the hospital stay despite the fact that you know the movie has wrapped. After all you and him had both are gone to the wrap part at Baz's house. There's a part of you that wonders if that party and the sheer amount of people that were at that party might have been what led to this. But you have learned in your few years as a doctor that it's better to not necessarily speculate like that unless you want to drive yourself up the wall. Besides if that was the cause of Austin's predicament right now you're not a hundred percent sure you wouldn't be a bit peeved at Baz. As it stands, you do end up shooting off a text to him asking him what on Earth happened and if he knew Austin wasn't feeling well that morning when they had met up for breakfast.

A groan from Austin's bed knocks you out of your head and reminds you that you have a job to do and you get yourself into gear, making sure he's got the correct tests ordered, the right medication ordered and everything you can think of that will make sure he will be comfortable even as his body tries to fully rebel against him. It's a bit touch and go for the first two days and the few times you think Austin is coherent and realizes that you are there he mutters 'Cilla and Satnin and you try to not take it personally, instead reminding yourself that his medicine has a tendency to have a side effect of at least mild hallucinations and he did just get done pretending to be Elvis for the greater part of almost two years. After that second day and heading into the third, you realize he's seeming more normal, his eyes look a little clearer when you see them open and you chance a proper visit, one where you stay there until he wakes up just to actually check on him properly.

A proper visit where the exhaustion of taking care of all your other patients and him might end up catching up to you and has you passing out with your head in his lap in what is the- most comfortable chair you could use to sleep in- if you had used it normally and not pulled it up next to his bed. The first thing you're aware of as you wake up is a hand on your head and a very rough sounding southern drawl coming from above you.

"What- Y/N, what- why are ya in m'lap, baby?" The confusion is evident in his voice but as you groggily lift your head up and look into his eyes, you can see it written all over there as well.

It takes you a minute or so to wake up, your eyes adjusting to the light and to the movement of Austin shifting in the bed, trying to make himself more comfortable. When you finally do you blink at him and purse your lips. "What's the last thing you remember, Aus?"

You very rarely use that specific nickname with him, saving it only for occasions when you feel he needs to honestly pay attention to you. That alone causes him to sit up as straight as he can and just look at you with an intensity you know he couldn't have managed either of the previous days.

"I was with Baz and-" He pauses, biting his lower lip before wincing. "Pain. A lot of pain and feeling like I was on fire."

The description earns a grim smile from you before you exhale, shaking your head. "That is a pretty good description of what you looked like when I got called down to make sure you weren't going to die or be left permanently incapacitated. Now I know my boyfriend didn't specifically ignore my orders as his doctor girlfriend to actually take care of himself especially now that filming was winding down. And I know he didn't act like a teenager who when I wasn't around to maybe check or was too busy at work just took advantage of that and didn't take care of himself. Because he's a smart guy, isn't he?"

Austin looks like he's about to say the first thing that comes to mind, the first- you imagine- pretty idiotic thing that comes to mind before he sees the look on your face and realizes this is a battle he will not win. "I-" He stops and moves to grab your hand. "I might have continued to push myself because I'm a bit of an idiot who definitely was taking advantage of my long hours and your long hours to hide that. Is that what I need to admit? Or do I need to keep going?"

You can't help but laugh at the question, biting your lip to prevent a full fit of laughter from escaping. "I mean, you can keep going, I'm actually a little curious to see how big of a hole you can dig yourself into, by all means." Your eyes slide up to his IV bag and you frown, grabbing his remote to call a nurse, the alarm hasn't sounded that it's empty and due for a change but- you know how busy it's been lately and you're not in the mood to have Austin wait for too long.

Austin's quiet for a moment as he looks at you, noting how he swears you have some lines on your forehead that you didn't have before. He put those there- he made you worry so much you got new worry lines. It doesn't distract from your beauty, far from it, but still it sens a rush of guilt through him that has him placing his hand on your cheek. Before you realize what you're doing, you nuzzle your cheek against his hand, letting out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Letting out tension in your shoulders that haven't left since he first was brought in. "I'm- Nothing is going to change what happened, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry baby."

A shaky sort of breath leaves your body before you grab Austin's hand and move to kiss it before you touch his cheek. "I know you are. Because you scared the shit out of me. And Baz, but he wasn't the one taking care of you, who didn't know what exactly was wrong and how you could-" You shut your eyes and rub at them. "You're not allowed to do this to me again, Mr. Butler. I started dating you because you're supposed to be the safe bet, no silly injuries or COVID or sickness like this. And look at you, a guitar to the head, this, you better not make it a trifecta."

He shakes his head, moving his hand that you still have held to brush away tears you have falling. "I wouldn't dream of it." He pauses. "How long am I in here for?"

"A week." You answer quicker than you should. "Might be overkill but you've got your antibiotics via IV and while you live with me and I can change it, I also have to be at work half the time so hospital it is."

Austin flushes and you think for a moment he's going to be sick before you see how he's looking at you- it's a look you know well, one that usually leads to things in the bedroom and you just narrow your eyes as he starts to speak. "So, you're my doctor then. And I'm your patient."

You take a moment to just look up at the ceiling and purse your lips, wondering not for the first time why you ever started dating Austin when he says dumb things like that. It shouldn't be something that's funny, and it really isn't but you've been so worried about him for the past two days that hearing that stupid joke as much as it makes you roll your eyes just makes you laugh. "I am and you are. But as your doctor I cannot in good conscience condone any shenanigans of a sexual sort just yet. Maybe in a few days."

He nods solemnly as he sees a nurse entering a room. He leans over for a moment, knowing fully well you can't stop laughing and won't just yet. "Just show up in only the your coat and we'll know if I'm feeling better. You know I can't resist your sexy doctor look."

If you have to tell the nurse about changing his IV bag through broken off bits of laughter, that's his fault. If you can't help but slap his arm lightly when he tries to grab at your butt- seriously, you really should have remembered the side effects of his medicine and his inhibitions- then that's also his fault. If later on that day you find yourself curled up against him watching some Australian soap opera? Well, despite not being on duty this particular day, you are still his doctor, and a little rest and a lot of cuddles might have been your additional recommendation for the start of an optimal recovery.

And really, who was he to argue?

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler fluff #austin butler angst #austin butler x you #austin butler x y/n #elvis 2022 #austin butler fanfic #austin butler fic #austin butler imagine #ally writes #let us see if tumblr will let this go to the tags.

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harryswhorehome-blog · 2 years

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Neighbors 4

Hiiii! I miss youuuuu! It took me so long to finish this. Please forgive me, I’m still kinda going through it and I lost all my motivation because of the worst depressive episode of my life and I'm trying to recover, but I want to regularly post and be consistent. I hope you like it because I love neighbor Harry sooooo much.

Summary: Y/n and Harry have a fun time at a very important event.

Warnings: smut 18+, daddy kink, degradation kink, praise kink (idk how, but they both are here), Jealousy, some angst, cheating, age gap (she’s 18), fluff, and olivia wilde? (if there’s any more tell me plz)

Word count:3.5k+

After the night of the summer bash, life has been quite smooth. We both haven’t made any moves to give our relationship a title, but I’m quite content with what we’re doing now.

It’s been two weeks since the last party. I only got to see him once during the two weeks since he was busy with Olivia and work. While, I was caught up with keeping a clean image for re-elections.

Today’s exciting though because tonight my family is throwing another dinner party. We haven’t thrown a lot of parties like this since six years ago when my grandad was working to get elected in this town, but re-elections are happening and although it’s a guaranteed win, we can never seem too confident.

Of course the new neighbors are invited. Which is the reason for my excitement since the new neighbors husband and I are fucking. As well as a lot of my grandpas, politician friends and important members of the town are attending, which means I can slowly introduce myself to the political society and maybe find a way to make a name for myself.

I was never one for parties like this because, although everyone says they are friends with my family, there's a certain type of image we have to uphold. This election means a lot to my family. Not only for the reason it keeps them in power, but because if he wins again, he’s gonna let me put insight on how to be better for the community as a whole, not just for the rich.

It took me four hours to get ready. One reason is because I am seeing Harry. Another because I need to keep the clean cut image of the Astor’s. I hum to the music as I do my make up, but come to an abrupt stop when a notification flashes on my phone.

From Harry: Can’t wait to see you :)

I roll my eyes from his use of emoticons, because last week I learned he doesn’t know how to use regular emojis. Although most people would help him I chose not to, because I’m scared he’ll use it like a grandpa and I won’t take him seriously.

From Y/N: Me too! Miss u lots daddy <3

I decided to tease him, since I haven’t seen him for awhile and with that means I haven’t had sex for awhile. Even though I could go back to touching myself it doesn’t feel as good like when he does it. I also have been feeling mischievous tonight and decided to go bare in hopes I can get a quickie before anyone notices I’m gone.

Harry takes his time to respond, making me start to get nervous. I feel the anxiety in my stomach when I see the three dots pop up on my screen and then go away. They go away for a while, making me slightly disappointed. As I was just about to get ready again he texts me.

From Harry: Stop Y/n. Not tonight it’s important for your family and you.

I pout from his response, knowing that he’s lying and would take me whenever he could. I make the choice to leave him on read. Hopefully to make him mad or cause any reaction from him.

______________________________________________________________

The party started 45 minutes ago and most of the guests have arrived except for the most important one…well most important to me. I find my place on the couch and engage in the conversation with some guy’s son Erick. He’s handsome of course and comes from old money, but that personality is as dull as it gets. I’m better off talking to a literal brick wall, I might even be more entertained.

As I was about to make my excuse to leave, on cue Harry walks in with his hand around his wife’s waist. I can’t help but roll my eyes at the sight in front of me. We make eye contact and Harry’s brow furrows when he sees the guy next to me talking. I smile at him acknowledging his presence and decide to stay with the talking brick wall. If I was gonna talk to him for marketing purposes. Your welcome grandpa. I might as well try to use it to get Harry jealous.

I try to listen to the absurdities that left the young guys mouth, but I couldn’t help eaves dropping every conversation Harry was in. I nodded along humming and agreeing to whatever he said and started getting back into discussion. Suddenly I feel Harry's presence in front of me, making me not pay attention to the man I was ‘talking’ to.

There he was, sat across from me. Basically manspreading with a short glass of brown liquid I assumed was liquor. His wife was nowhere to be seen. A part of me wanted to jump his bones right then and there, but I knew I couldn’t be obvious since this isn’t some party. Everyone was looking for the Astor’s to fail and I’ll be damned if I’m the one who messes it up. With his gaze on me I decided to try my best to ignore it and continue on with ‘marketing’.

My plan to ignore him failed when I saw a pretty blonde next to him chatting him up. I swear I saw red when I realized it was my cousin Diana. Not by blood, but by marriage…so step cousin. I hate this girl with all my being. I literally never hated anyone more. As the dumb blonde man continues speaking about whatever business move he plans to make when his trust fund money was his, I could feel the anger going to my head. Especially when Diana touches his shoulder and I see him give her the smirk he usually gives me.

I couldn’t watch the scene playing out in front of me. He already has a wife. I'm not gonna be a side-side chick, one was enough. As I pretended to listen, I opened my phone nodding along to whatever he was saying and looked through my private camera roll to the video of me running a vibrator to my clit earlier.

Once I found my favorite video I took this morning. I made sure to give it a once over. I see myself on my white duvet, with my head falling back as I run the bullet vibrator past my folds before dipping it in my tight hole. I spread my legs apart wider and bring it to my clit, making sure the vibrations go to where I needed it the most.

I smile to myself and press send. The nerves in my stomach start knowing he’s gonna see what I was doing this morning. When I hear Harry’s notification bell ring, I start to get antsy squirming to see his reaction. Thankfully Erick left because his dad called him to talk to some lawyer he wanted him to intern for, leaving me alone to pretend to be on my phone scrolling. Harry takes his phone out of his pocket and checks the notification, his head tilts confused on why’d I text him.

I bite my bottom lip trying my best to not smile. Harry brings his phone closer to his face, still puzzled on why I sent him a video with no context. The video is basically black until he presses the play button. When I saw his thumb tap his phone, I tried to stop the giggles from leaving my mouth. His eye brows lift in shock and his mouth is agape, but he keeps his usual facade soon after. He doesn’t swipe out of the video like I thought he would, instead he continues to watch it.

My face soon turns red and I get anxious, I didn’t think he’d react like that. He just watches the 3 minute video in the middle of the crowded room, not scared of anyone seeing it or catching him. When the video finishes he looks up to me and smirks before tucking his phone in his suit jacket and continues his conversation with Diana.

Soon enough Diana leaves his side and is soon replaced by some Irish guy named Niall. They talk like they’re best friends, while listening to their conversation I realized that they became a trio of golf buddies with my brother. I sigh in my lack of attention and sink down to my seat, unintentionally spreading my legs wider than I thought. The only reason why I noticed it is because of Harry’s cough making me look his way and see his disapproving glare. I glare back confused until his eyes lower to my bare cunt. I sit up a little and shut my legs quickly forgetting I’m not wearing any underwear.

Harry continues to talk to Niall for a long time, while I sit alone in front of him. I take the time to look at him. He was wearing a suit that fit him like a glove, but as my eyes lowered to his groin I realized that his suit isn’t covering the hard on that’s proudly on display. I know he’s big, any girl knows he's big when he literally cups his groin and lifts before he sits, but the way the fabric of his trouser sits on his center is not very forgiving. I clench my thighs at the thought of his cock and Harry catches me and smirks at my attempt to keep my hormones at bay before ignoring me again. When I caught him staring at my pouting, I spread my legs looking at him with an innocent smile.

His eyes bulge out of his eyes and he silently orders me to close my legs. I don’t listen and tilt my head, I try my best to look lost and confused about what he’s telling me to do. Sadly my teasing ended short when we’re called to be seated at the dinner table.

To my excitement my meddling gave me the chance to fix seating charts. I remember specifically telling my grandpa to make sure that people who know each other sit with people they don’t really know.

I walk my way to the dining room feeling Harry’s presence behind me. When I find my chair I smile to myself when my seating chart works perfectly because me and Harry sit near the end of the table together. Harry looks confused when he sees his name next to mine and his wife’s sitting next to the person right in front of him. I of course had to do it, to make sure there was no suspicion, but it makes me giddy when I see the small smirk when he realizes I sit next to him. Olivia having the opposite reaction sitting next to some old man who reeks of strip club and white collar crimes.

“ I want to thank my grand-daughter Y/n for helping me with planning this party, especially the seating chart to ensure no one is left out and will meet someone new tonight” my grandpa toast as everyone sits down. I try to shrug off the compliment and take a sip of my drink, slightly blushing at the attention given to me. In all honesty his approval means the most to me because that means I can slowly take my own place in the dynasty we have.

Olivia and Harry's heads whip towards me when my grandpa’s toast slipped out of his mouth. Olivia glaring a hole in my head. While Harry is trying to hold back a smile “ you planned this, didn’t you?” he says, hiding his smile with the cup over his mouth. I nod slightly embarrassed that my grandpa outed my secret scheme. Harry sits a little closer to me and whispers “ good girl” , his hot breath sending chills down my spine.

I squirm with arousal as I try to talk to Mr. Bines, also known as the man who I could use as a reference to get into columbia. Talking to him is terrifying because if this one conversion goes well then my future could be set in stone. If it doesn’t, well…I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

“ You planned this party yourself?” the old man says, I nod yes not trusting my voice. He looks at me with a smile “well your grandpa made a good choice letting you plan this. Tell me, what do you plan to do with your future?”

I take a deep breath before saying “ I’m not sure yet, but I want to major in law” . My words come out shaky. I feel a warm hand with cold rings rest on my knee to stop the shaking. I look to my side to see Harry giving me a warm smile. I smile back and head follow my breathing to how his thumb rubs my leg.

“ Ah, following in the footsteps of your grandfather. What colleges are you looking into?” He questions.

“ I’m actually looking at Columbia University, actually I think my grandpa told me you were an alumni there”

“ I sure was, Actually you know the dean there is a close friend of mine. Why don’t we make a deal? Bring your grandad and your father to the golf course and maybe we could talk about me considering a recommendation for you” he says

I didn’t expect him to say that at all, but I wasn’t gonna complain. A smile lays on my mouth “ you got yourself a deal” I say. The woman next to Mr. Bines started a conversation with me. As she starts to question me on why I want to learn at columbia I feel Harry’s hand slowly move up.

I squirm as I try to pay attention to middle aged women explaining how admissions work. Harry's hand goes closer to my upper thigh and instinctively I shut my thighs, trying to stop him.

My attempt to stop him doesn’t work and as I start to speak his hand separates my legs and he rests his hand on my pussy. His action made me scared to speak and I decided nodding was enough. He doesn’t even try to put pressure or tease me, he just rests his hand there. I start to assume that it’s safe enough to speak “ wow, I didn’t see it like that. I hope whoever looks at my application is having a good day and-” a gasp interrupts my sentence when I feel Harry’s fingers pinch my sensitive clit. My legs clamp shut, but how his hand is positioned doesn’t allow me to, if anything it puts more pressure on me.

“Are you okay Y/n?” she says concerned

I try to close my legs as “ Yeah-yeah sorry I just forgot that I chose those appetizers for tonight” I bring the food to my mouth “ what a nice surprise” I eat another piece of food to shut myself up.

The woman looks at me warily as she continues to speak. Harry’s fingers follow the line of my slit, as he brings a fork to his mouth with his other hand pretending nothing is happening. He even starts to hum along to what Olivia is saying.

His fingers lower to my wet hole and move my arousal around spreading it. I try to move his hand subtly, but he doesn’t give up. I bite my lower lip trying to stop any noise from coming out of my mouth, as I try to think of anything not arousing to make sure I won’t moan out loud.

Harry sees my furrowed brows and my concentrated face. He smirks at my reaction and secretly whispers in my ear “ Don’t make it harder on yourself baby, let me make you cum”, I nod giving into his deep voice and let my legs spread wider.

“ look at you, such a fucking slut you know that? So desperate for me you almost flashed Niall. You’re so fucking in for it now” He say’s as he pets my clit.

I moan in response , but cover it up as a cough. As I let his fingers rub on the puffy nub, he takes his time playing with me. Talking to the people around him as he pinches my clit. I try to buck my hips for more pressure, but he only looks at me sternly and shakes his head no.

“ Be a good girl and let me play with what’s mine, you think you can control this whole situation? Hm?” Harry says condescending, making me shake my head no. When he sees my answer he smiles and says “ that’s my pretty pearl, listening like she should, but you know I need to punish you for not wearing any panties under that dress? Right? Think I fucked you stupid too much and now you think it’s okay to be a slut in front everyone. Maybe I should remind you who you belong to huh?”

I nod and comply with what he says and keep my legs spread. Harry decided to not pay attention to me anymore as his fingers were rubbing my little button. I sit in silence and look at everyone arounds me and feel relieved when everyone is in their own little world, even Harry. He was talking to an old man who sat next to his wife.

“ So how do you feel about the election? Do you think Mr. Astor will win?” The old man say’s

“ Honestly, I think it looks like he has a lot of loyal friends and well…I don’t think I can say much. I'm not very educated in politics, but I’m sure his granddaughter has something to say about it ” The British man says.

I look at everyone with flushed cheeks, not very prepared to talk. My mouth opens with no words coming out, but thankfully the words “ I think he has a pretty good chance Mr.Ruben” leave my mouth.

I soon was rewarded with Harry’s fingers inserting in my wet hole. His fingers pump in and out pushing my walls back. My hand under the table grips his thigh looking for something to hold onto.

“ you Astor’s are quite confident” Olivia comments

“I’d be confident, if I couldn’t be respected” I say to Harry’s wife as his fingers pump in and out of me. Olivia seems to quiet down after my comment.

I quiet down again trying to focus on the feeling of his fingers moving in me. He curls them up hitting my g-spot and it takes everything in me not to moan. I start to move my hips a little bit to help the knot in my stomach untangle. I watch as everyone gets excited and entertained by their conversations paying no attention to me.

“ You like this don’t you? The idea of everyone watching you, catching you being a little whore for me? Huh? Is that what’s getting you off? Or is it the fact that my wifes there in front of you as you ride my hand” Harry whispers, his breath fanning my ear and starting tingles down my spine.

I open my mouth knowing that he’d do something obvious to punish me “a-all of it. I like the idea of all of it” I say breathily.

He smirks as I grind against his hand trying to reach my climax. I can’t help, but clench around his fingers thinking about getting caught. I look to see his wife deeply immersed in a conversation and when I hear Harry start to speak I can’t help, but smirk at how funny this all is. How he’s talking to her as he pleasures me.

I start to feel the knot in my stomach to unravel, “ can I cum daddy? I’ll be good” I whisper to him.

“ I don’t know, baby, I don’t think a girl this messy should cum. Look at you soaking my hand in front of all these important people. Do you think your dear old dad will appreciate his sweet little angel getting finger fucked? Hm?” he says condescendingly.

“no-no , but I’m desperate please I need to so bad”

“ Fine, go ahead cum, want you to cover my hand with your mess, my pearl. Show everyone who you belong to, show my wife whose yours, pretty girl”

With the sweet name and his fingers constantly hitting my g-spot, I came right there in front of everyone. It took everything in me not to moan from pleasure as he rode out my orgasm. While I was cumming his wife looked me in my eye, making me smirk.

Harry bends down pretending he drops his napkin, while he looks me in the eye he sucks the cum of his fingers while looking in my eyes. I stare at him with my mouth open as he sits back up and smiles sheepishly as if he’s embarrassed to drop his napkin.

He shakes me out of my thoughts when his hand rests on my knee as he continues to eat the meal in front of him. I take that as my cue to act normal again. As I eat my main course I can’t help smiling to myself at the thought of what we just did and how much I liked it.

Harry catches me smiling to myself and squeezes my thigh, “ you’re beautiful” he says staring into my eyes. We stay quiet for the whole dinner, both of us pretending it’s just us here.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles #dom!harry #harry styles fic #harry styles au #neighbor!harry #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry smut

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 7 months

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I made a post a year ago, I think, about how I enjoy that this site has a few blogs that are entirely dedicated to being obsessed with Tim Key, so everyone once in a while I’ll open Tumblr and be flooded with images of Tim Key, because the Tim Key blogs have decided to be active today, and I guess it’s Tim Key Monday.

Well, this time, for once, it’s been Tim Key Week in my comedy calendar, and it’s been a good time. Here are some things this week has covered:

- It started because Tim Key recently went on RHLSTP, and someone recommended it to me, so I listened to that latest episode. This was the first episode I’d ever heard of that podcast (aside from that YouTube video of the car crash with Stewart Lee) because I’m not a massive fan of Richard Herring, but I really enjoyed that one. So then I listened to the other three appearances that Tim Key has made on there, all within the last few years, because Tim Key has been very busy with writing books lately (just putting out his third book since the start of COVID) and keeps going on there to promote them. But then he ends up not promoting them, and just spending the whole time talking shit about Richard Herring.

God, he’s ridiculously quick. He just goes right into character and stays there the entire time, he can take anything Richard Herring says and spin it around in a split second and hit him back with it. Really sharp and can make absolutely anything funny. Literally anything. I re-watched that DVD extra interview he did with Simon Amstell last night, and that really highlighted how much he can make the most mundane thing in the world hilarious.

It's amazing style, I think. Be just a few steps outside of what is normal and reasonable to say, but say it with full confidence, and then ask other people what’s wrong with them when they don’t keep up. I’d previously seen him do it for five sets of No More Jockeys, and delighted in hearing he’s like that all the time.

- I enjoyed that, so got sent some more Tim Key things. His Radio 4 documentaries, of which I had heard one before, because it featured Kitson, and earlier this year I did my huge trek through every weird tiny thing where Daniel Kitson might have had even the most obscure role (I watched a terrible movie called Dog Eat Dog, the rabbit hole went deep, and the rabbit hole contained a Tim Key documentary about a Russian novelist). But I hadn’t heard some others, so I spent an evening listening to Tim Key talk about Russian poets and writers and how to start a novel, and that was lovely. I enjoyed that.

- But the main things I got were a couple of recordings of his old stand-up shows, and this album he recorded in 2010, called On a Boat With a String Quartet, where he reads poetry and talks shit to Tom Basden. I really, really enjoyed listening to Tim Key read poetry and talk shit to Tom Basden. I realized I have heard that before, as they were together on season 2 of Mark Watson Makes the World Substantially Better, and on Mark Watson’s Live Address to the Nation, and they did basically the same thing there. This album made me remember how much I enjoyed those radio shows, partly because of how much I enjoy listening to Tim Key read poetry and talk shit to Tom Basden. “Wow,” I thought. “I wish there were only some way of hearing more of Tim Key reading poetry while talking shit to Tom Basden.” Then I remembered he has a five-season radio show that I’ve somehow never heard before.

- So next on the list was the Late Night Poetry Programme, which I’d been vaguely meaning to listen to “at some point” for ages, and this was clearly that time. God, it was good. I’d heard Tim’s poems before in various contexts, but really enjoyed hearing so many of them at once. And the soundscape was nice. And of course it was fun when he talked shit to Tom Basden.

I think the first few seasons were pretty well perfect, just those two in a studio with little hints of their life outside it, dropped through a line or a word or two, throwaway jokes where the meaning hits you a little at a time as you realize what it implies about the life they live. It was cool at first, when they started opening it up and we actually saw that bigger world that they’d been teasing for a while. By season 5, I have to admit, I felt like it had gone too far. Which they acknowledged several times, Tom Basden making comments that they’d gotten too far away from season 1 and Tim Key doesn’t even read his poems anymore. But I did kind of think the character was right. The sitcom was still fun, I enjoyed every episode. But I think my favourties were when it was just two people in a studio reading poetry.

Katy Wix was good, though. And I did enjoy the guest stars throughout all five seasons. That turned into a game that I was able to play due to my abysmal lack of talent for identifying people based on the sound of their voice alone. Because I’m so bad at it, I avoided looking at the notes beforehand, and tried to guess who that episode’s guest voice actor was, and would then hear in the credits whether I was right. I was quite bad at it. I went through an entire episode with Sally Phillips, and two entire episodes with Mike Wozniak, convinced that they were played by people I’d never heard before, even though I know both those voices quite well.

I only guessed a few. By the end of Isy Suttie’s episode, I was about 80% sure it was Suttie, and then I turned out to be right. I got Bridget Christie’s voice right away, though that’s partly because I knew from a No More Jockey’s episode that she’d show up at some point, and she hadn’t been on it yet and this was the last episode, so it had to be her. The only voice where I was immediately, 100% sure who it was was when they had Liam Williams on. Absolutely no question there. That is an extremely distinctive voice, it was almost distracting because every time he spoke I just thought “Oh it’s Liam Williams” rather than believing it was a farmer or whatever.

- After that, I wanted even more Key & Basden, and I remembered how Stuart Goldsmith says that his best evidence for why TV isn’t a meritocracy is that Cowards never got more than three TV episodes. So I downloaded those TV episodes. But of course I have to do things in order, so first I downloaded the radio episodes. Did the radio show and then the TV show.

I really liked those, and I’m often not big on sketch comedy. These were fucking great, though. The TV show had quite a few sketches that I could see myself re-watching on YouTube one at a time. And that’s nice, because for years I’ve done that regularly with Mitchell and Webb, but these days I watch those and have trouble enjoying them as much because, you know, transphobia. I guess I should stop being shocked when it turns out that Footlights men from the early 00s may not be the most clued-up people in the world about trans issues (Webb, Ayoade). But if Tim Key or Tom Basden or those other two guys (sorry, I do vaguely know they both have quite good careers in their own right, but in my mind they are those other two guys) in Cowards have any views on trans people whatsoever, I’d like them to keep that to themselves so I can have some new sketches to re-watch on YouTube without feeling guilty. No more Footlights guys from the early 00s should be allowed to talk about trans people (except John Oliver, actually Mark Watson’s made some pro-trans rights statements too, they can stay).

Anyway, the point is that I really enjoyed the sketches. They all seemed so cohesive – the characters, and the plots, and the actors. A lot of sketches didn’t end on huge punchlines, which I always think is the sign of a good sketch, if it’s funny enough to get laughs throughout and not just for a twist at the end. Really good stuff. I see Stuart Goldsmith’s point.

- Then I still hadn’t had enough Key & Basden on Radio 4, so I downloaded the sitcom Party. That was pretty good. The jokes were consistent and funny, which is the main point. I have to admit the premise didn’t work quite as well today as it might have then, which is not Tom Basden’s fault, as you can’t have expected him to foresee the fall of Western civilization back in 2010. In 2010, I remember that the idea of naïve youths involved in politics was funny. Straw feminists and all that. Whereas these days, the situation is so dire that if I see a young person who’s politically engaged, I don’t want to make fun of them for being underinformed anymore. I just want to say “Thank you for doing anything besides making Tik-Tok videos and listening to Joe Rogan while Rome burns.”

Having said that, the point of this show was not exactly to be hard-hitting satire of student politics, it was to be a vehicle for jokes. And it did that very well. It was funny. The characters were good, too. Five different main characters it a lot for a sitcom that started with only four half-hour episodes, but by the end of the very first episode, I had a clear idea of who was who. I could tell their voices apart, which helps (Tim Key’s voice I know, Tom Basden’s voice sounds a bit too similar to Johnny Sweet’s but I could tell them apart if I tried hard enough, I can tell Katy Wix’s Welsh accent apart from Anna Crilly). And each character was sufficiently distinctive for me to see why they were there.

- Just today, I watched The One and Only Herb McGwyer Plays Wallis Island, written by and starring Key & Basden. I enjoyed it. Short films, or films in general, aren’t hugely my thing. But I liked the pretty shots of English countryside. I liked the dismal shots of the ocean in bad weather and little rowboats and the old house. And it was a nice story starring a folk singer and an eccentric person, and what more could I want out of some characters?

I know Tim Key has done a bunch of short films before, some with Tom Basden. The only other one I’ve seen is Very Few Fish, which I watched entirely because of that bit at the end of a No More Jockeys episode, where Tim lists all the Taskmaster contestants he has or hasn’t touched, and says he’s kissed Aisling Bea, on screen. I found out that he’d kissed her in this weird short film written by Tom Basden, so I watched that out of curiosity.

And found… it was quite a good film, probably deserved to get more commissioned. But I didn’t like the bit where he made out with Aisling Bea. I’d just watched all this No More Jockeys, where he’s in his house and playing himself so I felt like I knew him. And I don’t want to see people I know graphically make out with other people. It’s like when your friend is doing PDA at a party. It’s even weirder than when a stranger does it, because you just think, I don’t want to see you that way. I know you, I like you, that side of you is meant to be kept behind closed doors please. That’s what Very Few Fish felt like. Like following a friend on a date and watching him make out with someone. It was weird.

That’s an interesting level of parasocial relationship, isn’t it? Watching No More Jockeys has parasoically made me feel like that guy is my friend, but the effect is not for me to try to hang out with him on social media or anything creepy like that, the only effect is I don’t want to watch him kiss anyone. That’s probably okay, as far as these things go.

- Last night, I tried the first episode of We Need Answers. I’d have absolutely loved to see the stage version of this, I have collected pictures and short videos of it from various corners of the internet (including those fucking unhinged promo videos on Alex Horne’s YouTube channel that introduce the contestants), they had all the best comedians and it seems like a great showcase of my peak area of interest, which is 00s Edinburgh comedy.

However, I’ve always avoided the TV show because the list of guests is awful. Almost no comedians, heavy on presenters and reality show people. It didn’t help that the first episode featured noted transphobe Germaine Greer (also, as I always feel the need to add when her name comes up, she wasn’t some perfect feminist who was ruined by going TERF, I always disliked some of the comments she’d made about cis women who didn’t fit the type of womanhood that she liked, and I hate the she’s held us as an example of great feminism). So I’m open to giving it another shot. Does anyone have opinions on whether it gets better in the future? The first episode was all right, but I didn’t enjoy it all that much.

So that is my Tim Key binge. Does anyone have recommendations for things I’ve missed? Especially short films, I know there are other good ones. Happy Tim Key Thursday, everyone!

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