#not to justify what house does just that wilson saw it coming

[jimmywilsonschutzpah]

I find it interesting that Wilson warns Cameron and Stacy not to break House’s heart, that he worries that House opening up again only to be let down will lead to heartbreak and a downward spiral. But he has no such warning for Cuddy. Maybe because he thinks post-Mayfield House can handle it, maybe because he doesn’t think Cuddy needs to be warned. And yet Cuddy is the one who truly disappoints Wilson to the point that he buys a loft to screw her over.

[abarbaricyalp]

Idk if you are still taking prompts, but you know the vine two dudes chilling in a hot tub 5 feet apart cause they're not gay, and a girl quoting it in a park about two girls in the distance and one of them hearing and going "Actually I am gay" Like that scenario, only involving them fixing the boat? Maybe Sarah quoting it to give Sam shit when she thinks Bucky cant hear and Bucky goes "Wait, no I'm gay" or something, or just the general gist of that. Sorry if this us too specific, I've never sent anyone a prompt before :P

Hello Friend! Thank you so much for sending anything in at all! I know the vine you're talking about, but I couldn't find it on Youtube. (I did find a two day rabbit hole of old compilations though) This was also my first foray into writing Sarah as a fully fleshed character! I was excited to get the practice 'cause I had an idea bouncing around in my head about her and Bucky talking after he wakes up in the Wilson house. I kept her a little more like she had been in my other fics pre-show here. I so wish we got a little more of her!

Feel free, anyone, to send me Sambucky prompts!

The North American Superhero in a Domestic Situation

Sarah Wilson loved her brother deeply. The kind of soul crushing love that could only be formed through family, loss, and approximately four thousand brawls around the living room throughout their life. She looked up to her brother more than she could ever imagine looking up to anyone. Even when they were fighting or picking on each other, she couldn’t help but feel a swell in her chest when he came into her line of sight.

That didn’t mean she understood him. In fact, from the age of eight, watching her brother interact with the world had become her go-to pastime. Why did he have to roll every pea around the plate individually before eating them? Why did he and his friends spend seven years socking each other in the arm to prove friendship? Why did he talk to himself in the mirror, even when he knew Sarah or someone else was standing in the doorway?

Sam Wilson was just deeply weird. She had no idea how he had tricked the Avengers, a plethora of bad guys, and half of the media world into thinking he was remotely cool. She saw a news story once that had King T’Challa standing on a platform with Sam and the newscasters talked about how impressive Sam’s suit was. It was unnatural, the effect he had on people.

And in all her years, she never thought she’d see anyone weirder than Sam. But then James Barnes had showed up. It was like a complete reversal of Sam. Sarah was taken in for approximately three hours by his charm and face before she realized he too was deeply, deeply weird.

She justified sitting on the edge of the Paul and Darlene, watching her brother and James Barnes spar off about some dumb trivia fact, by deciding it was an anthropological expedition. The North American Superhero in a Domestic Situation. She watched Sam watch Barnes take a long pull off his beer. She watched Barnes kick his feet up near Sam’s legs and then draw them back quickly when a current jolted the boat. She watched Barnes’ fingers tap-tap-tap against the edge of the boat, inching closer to Sam’s shoulder before he chickened out and brought his hand back to his own lap. She watched Sam suggest Bucky take his jacket off, ‘unless you plan on sun blinding me with the robocop arm.’ She watched Sam look away when Barnes did shrug his jacket off.

When she was seventeen and Sam was fifteen, she had found Sam crying in his room, pillow pressed to his face to muffle the noise. They were at the age where going into each other’s rooms uninvited started international conflicts, but Sarah, who watched her brother intently, felt like she knew what was going on. So she let herself in through their Jack-and-Jill bathroom and shut the door behind her.

Sam didn’t stop crying, not even to yell at her to get out, so she sat on the end of his bed and rolled a baseball under her foot for a while. Finally, she’d said, “You don’t have to tell Mom and Dad, y’know.”

Sam had just about wailed and bit the corner of his pillow to stop himself.

“That’s gross, stop it,” Sarah ordered and pushed Sam’s shoulder back enough to yank his pillow free and then reached over to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I should make you do the laundry this week so I know I’m not touching your snot germs,” she teased softly.

“How did you know?” Sam hiccuped out. Tears were still brimming at his eyes, but they didn’t fall.

“I’m your older sister. I made you. Like a doll. You think there’s something about you that I don’t know?” she joked. And when the tears did spill over his long lashes, she sighed and pulled him closer to her side. “I just know the way you interact with that boy from the basketball team ain’t just friendly.”

“Jesus, do you think he can tell?” Sam asked and she could hear the mortification in his voice.

“Sam, he’s a freshman in high school. The only thing he knows is that he’s scared of everything too. No one’s paying that much attention to you.”

“Screw you,” Sam muttered.

“What’re all these tears for you if you didn’t make a move and get shot down?”

“God, Sarah, can you not say things like that?”

“Watch your mouth,” Sarah warned with no heat in her voice. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong. I’m not leaving until you do.”

“I just…” Sam sat up and worked his jaw for a while. His chin dimpled and his eyes watered but he managed to control himself. “I’m scared, Sarah. I’m scared of never being in love. Of having to leave if I am. I’m scared to say something and I’m scared not to say something. I’m so scared of...losing any of it.”

“Sam,” Sarah sighed and pulled Sam into another hug. “You’re fifteen. You’re not supposed to be in love yet. You don’t have to think about any of that. You just have to focus on passing Geometry, alright? Mom’ll whoop your ass more for failing than anything else.”

“I have a B+, that’s not failing!” Sam snapped. He kept his face against her shoulder for a second long before he sat up and wiped his tears away. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Who am I gonna tell? I told you, my friends don’t like you as much as you think they do.”

“Your friends like me more than they like you,” Sam shot back and he almost sounded normal.

Sarah smiled softly and patted Sam’s cheek. “I won’t tell Mom or Dad. Of course not. That’s for you to do. But--”

“I’m always going to tell them when you sneak out the window.”

“No! Sam! You can’t! You owe me now!”

“Going to field parties is not the same thing!” Sam said in a shriek as Sarah leaned over to pinch his sides. They grappled for a second before Sam managed to push Sarah off the bed.

“You owe me,” she reminded him as she walked back to the bathroom.

Sam wiped his eyes again and nodded. “Sure, Sarah. I do.”

Sam almost had the same look on his face now. Like there was something he wanted to reach for that he thought was too impossible to hold. The Older Sister Instinct to Antagonize into a Solution kicked in.

“Two bros, chilling on a boat, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay,” she sing-songed. Sam looked mortified again but masked his face into something more irritated with a roll of his eyes when Barnes looked over at him.

“Ignore her. It’s this old video--” Sam started.

But Bucky interrupted to say, “Actually I am gay,” as he looked back over at Sarah. “Sorry if I got your hopes up,” he added with a grin that really did get the hopes up.

“What?” Sam asked and Sarah, ever watchful, could see the beer bottle shaking in his hand.

“What?” Bucky repeated innocently.

“He said he’s gay,” Sarah clarified.

“Thank you, Sarah,” Sam ground out. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Bucky snorted. “When would I have said anything? ‘Sorry for ripping your wings off and kicking you off of a hellicarrier, by the way I’m gay.’?”

“You did what?” Sarah asked.

“‘Sorry for claiming I didn’t bomb the UN only to be reverted back to the assassin who would have done that and then fighting you again. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Thanks for saving my life. Sorry about the giant undersea prison. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘There’s an imminent battle with weird ass space dogs that want to eat our faces. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Sorry about Tony Stark, whose life I kind of ruined. Lovely funeral. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘I’m in the middle of being pissed at you about the Shield. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Maybe don’t take me rolling through a field of flowers. It does things to me ‘cause I’m gay.’ ‘John Walker’s fucking insane. I’m gay, but definitely not for this bullshit.’ I mean, come on, Sam.”

“Flowers?” Sarah asked.

“Besides, why would you care? I don’t make it a habit of telling straight guys I’m into guys.”

“You don’t seem to make a habit of telling many people that,” Sarah pointed out. “I googled you. Nothing suggesting that came up.”

Bucky shrugged. “I’m a guy from the 30s. It was trained out of me.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sarah said quickly. “Back up away from that because we’re not gonna try to Oppression Olympics our way through our histories. Did you just say Sam was straight?”

“Sarah!” Sam hissed.

“Sure. I mean, I saw him with Romanov. Hill. He has Tinder on his phone.”

“Samuel Thomas, you better not,” Sarah warned lightly. “You’re better than that.”

“He’s a lady-killer.”

Sarah snorted and had to bring her hand up to her face. “He definitely is not. There has been no lady-killing on his end for a long time.”

“Sarah!” Sam tried again.

“You explain it to him then. Mr. 30s is gonna need the long way round explanation.”

Sam sighed and dragged his hand over his face. “Dammit. Fine. I’m not straight either, alright? I’m...bi, or something. It’s been a while since I’ve had to think about it.”

“What?” Bucky asked, not unlike Sam had.

“He said he’s bisexual. Interested in both parties. Swings either way. Hit a homerun and then hasn’t really swung since.”

“Sarah, Jesus Christ,” Sam groaned.

“What?” Bucky asked again.

“I was engaged. To a man,” Sam said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bucky asked, clearly missing the irony.

“Oh, it was inconvenient for you but I had plenty of opportunities, huh?” Sam asked. “Ms. Tell-It-All over there wasn’t joking. I haven’t swung any direction in a while. Not since before I met Steve. My fiance died. And then it never came up.”

Bucky blinked at Sam. He kept bringing the bottle halfway up his body and then setting it back on his leg without ever taking a drink. “Fuck, Sam, I’m sorry,” Bucky said, which was not what Sarah was expecting and it clearly wasn’t what Sam was expecting because Sam finally moved closer to Bucky on the bench.

“What for? You didn’t do anything. This time.”

“Yeah, but if I’d known you were into me too, I woulda kissed you in Germany.”

“Oh, I am so not into you,” Sam denied. “And I wouldn’t have our first kiss ruined by immediately running into the government’s roving show monkey.”

“That’s the worst,” Bucky agreed and also finally moved over on the bench until they were pressed thigh to thigh. “Tell me how much you don’t like me again,” he challenged.

“I can’t stand you,” Sam answered and brought his hand up to Bucky’s jaw.

Sarah couldn’t fight down the grin that came to her face and turned to prop her feet on the pier, back to Sam and Bucky. Just this once, she didn’t need to watch her brother to understand him.

Read on AO3 here!

[365days365movies]

April 12, 2021: Mrs. Doubtfire (1992) (Recap)

Hey, Robin Williams. Been a while.

I’m sorry that I haven’t watched your movies for a while, and that I always skip your comedy stand-up when my phone’s on shuffle. I just...let me explain. Since I was a kid, you were one of my favorite entertainers. That might as well have started the day I was born, because...well, we share a birthday, fun fact. But it definitely continued with the first movie I ever saw in theatres.

While I don’t quite remember the first time I saw it, Aladdin was one of my favorite childhood movies, and I knew that you were the voice of the Genie from an early age. You might have actually been the first actor I ever knew by name. Which makes sense, because your stardom during the ‘90s was nearly unparalleled.

The next film I remember seeing (and hearing) you in was Ferngully: The Last Rainforest. That also starred Tim Curry, who would also be a major figure of my childhood. It also wasn’t the best movie, in hindsight, but it is the only time I’ve heard you rap since.

But eventually, I watched your forays into live-action, too. Jumanji, Hook, even the objectively bad Flubber, are all movies that I vividly remember watching during childhood. I was really excited for Flubber, even, and I LOVED Jumanji growing up. I liked Hook, too, but I appreciated that more as I got older.

Of course, during this time period, you also made less family-friendly films. The Fisher King, Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, Good Morning Vietnam, and What Dreams May Come were all very successful, and cemented your reputation as an actor. I also haven’t seen any of them. In fact...I don’t think I’ve seen any of your dramatic roles, and that’s something that I’ll fix this year. Hell, in a few days, I’ll watch The Birdcage, another of your big hits of the ‘90s.

But why haven’t I seen them up to now? Well...I was going to watch these films, about seven years ago. But...I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. Because it hurts. A lot.

I know that this is a downer, but my relationship with Robin Williams today is tainted by his tragic death. I was fucking BROKEN when his death was announced, and I really haven’t been able to watch him since. I’ve seen Aladdin recently, but that’s about all I could stand to watch. I mean, the guy shares a birthday with me! I’ve always loved his comedy stylings, and his improvisational skills are something I’ve internalized to a certain degree.

So, yeah. This one’s tough. But, it’s about time I moved on, and celebrated the man’s career for what it was: stellar. And that also brings up an important question, that some of you have probably asked by now:

HOW HAVE I MISSED MRS. DOUBTFIRE, WHAT THE FUCK

I KNOW I KNOW OK?

Look, I’m not entirely sure how I haven’t seen this movie, because I’m MORE than aware of it! I remember it airing during the ‘90s, my Dad AND girlfriend love this movie, and I know FOR A FACT that my family owned both the DVD AND THE VHS of this movie! So, how? HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN IT BY NOW?

I honestly have no idea, but let’s fix it now, huh? Yet one more man-dresses-as-woman movie this month! And no, I am not watching White Chicks...because I’ve already seen White Chicks. Also, it’s...problematic.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

 Recap

Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) is a voice-actor, and a good one. Which, given that it’s Robin Williams, isn’t entirely inaccurate. He’s also a voice actor with a spine, as he morally objects to a scene in the cartoon that he’s performing for, in which the main character smokes. By the way, I’m 99% sure that this cartoon is animated by Chuck Jones, and it looks well-made.

Anyway, this leads to him quitting the cartoon altogether, and allows him to pick up his kids early from school. These kids are Lydia (Lisa Hykub), Chris (Matthew Lawrence), and Natalie (Mara Wilson), and it’s Chris’ 12th birthday. Daniel arranges a...surprisingly large party, given that it’s completely impromptu, and it comes with a petting zoo and complete trappings. However, it’s not a party of which his wife will approve.

This wife is Miranda (Sally Field), a successful architect and the breadwinner of the family. After getting a call from the neighbor about the party, she comes home and busts the outrageous party. And for the record, I’m entirely on Miranda’s side here. This party is INSANE, and very irresponsible, given the fact that Daniel currently has no job. And yeah, he’s a very loving father, and a good person, but...it’s too much.

Miranda feels the same, and after 14 years of frustration, she realizes that she no longer loves Daniel. In a genuinely sad scene, she tells him that she wants a divorce. And she goes through with it MUCH to Daniel’s detriment. He has no home, as he’s staying with his brother, Frank (Harvey Fierstein) and his partner Jack (Scott Capurro). He also still has no job, meaning that he has no way to provide for his children. This means that he has no ability to provide, and the judge awards Miranda full custody. Oof.

However, this is a conditional arrangement, as another hearing for joint custody will be held in 3 months, and if Daniel can get a home and job in that time, he has a chance. He performs a litany of voices and impressions with his court liason, Mrs. Sellner (Anne Haney), which amuses me, but not her, and he gets a job in order to be with his kids for more than one day a week.

Meanwhile, Miranda IMMEDIATELY starts dating fellow designer and old flame Stuart Dunmeyer (Pierce Brosnan), like, almost before Daniel leaves the house. He bids a heartfelt goodbye to his kids, with the promise that he’ll see them on Saturdays. And now begins the absolute hatred and petty bitchiness of Daniel and Miranda! Seriously, it’s...it’s fucking terrible, and it takes away from my sympathy from either side. I get that divorce is rough and ugly, but GODDAMN, neither of them perform the act with any form of tact or grace.

This is put on display during the kids’ visitation to Daniel’s semi-crappy new apartment, which doesn’t even seem that bad, to be honest. Miranda dropped them off late and picked them up early, as if to slowly starve Daniel of time with his kids, which is extraordinarily shitty of her, fuck me. Daniel’s not taking it well, understandably, but then does something...really dumb, when you think about it.

See, Miranda’s looking for a nanny, to help watch the kids and clean the house during the week. Daniel volunteers his services, which is actually a good idea, but Miranda says she’ll think about it, which we ALL know means no. I DO NOT like Miranda, even if I understand the initial reasons for the divorce. She’s being especially spiteful, and it’s not a good look.

Daniel’s stupid idea, though, is to change the phone number on the ad for the nanny, which Miranda shows him before she takes the kids. Instead, he calls her number, and pretends to be various terrible applicants, until finally supplying his own applicant: the completely fictional Euphegenia Doubtfire (Daniel Hillard).

Daniel plays Mrs. Doubtfire as an elderly British woman, and a seasoned nanny in her day. Which is why it’s weird to me that, when he does to Frank and Jack to help him make an elaborate disguise as Mrs. Doubtfire, that they go through various other impressions and get-ups. Which, yes, is goddamn hilarious, but also makes NO SENSE, given that they’ve already established her character to Miranda. Funny, but nonsensical.

But, regardless, Euphegenis Doubtfire comes into being, and introduces herself to Miranda and the kids. Mrs. Doubtfire is exactly what Miranda’s looking for, although the kids aren’t exactly overjoyed, ESPECIALLY the oldest, Lydia. Also, during this first meeting, Miranda openly bad-mouths Daniel in front of the kids, in just the WORST fuckin’ way. I genuinely dislike Miranda A LOT. Again, the divorce was certainly justified, but I REALLY don’t like her. Daniel loves his kids, and they’re HIS kids, TOO. Stop using them as weapons against him, OOOOOOOOOOOH I DON’T LIKE MIRANDA

Anyway, that evening, after she’s officially been hired by Miranda, Mrs. Doubtfire heads home, only to find court liason Mrs. Sellner waiting to speak with Daniel. After a litany of puns, and a humorous changing scene, Daniel accidentally throws the Mrs. Doubtfire mask out of the window, and is forced to improvise through equally humorous circumstances. Hence, the above meringue mask scene. Has anybody tried that, by the way? Could that work as a groundbreaking beauty technique? Or would the sugar just feed the skin bacteria and give you acne? Genuinely curious.

Now going between his job as Daniel and the nanny job as Doubtfire, Daniel’s not doing too badly for himself. The nanny job begins, and Mrs. Doubtfire IMMEDIATELY contrasts with Daniel, creating a disciplinarian atmosphere in place of Daniel’s formerly loosey-goosey attitude. Which is interesting, and it works! I mean, it’s not how I would parent, but it does work. Doubtfire makes the kids to their homework, rather than watch TV, and then attempts to make dinner. Instead, though, the dinner’s ruined, and Daniel orders takeout and makes it LOOK like homemade food. And it looks good, too! Daniel’s full of hidden talents.

After dinner, as Mrs. Doubtfire’s leaving, Lydia apologizes for backtalking her earlier, and thanks her for making her mom happy with everything she did that evening. he also says that she’s still a bit messed up about her dad being gone. And yeah, it’s sweet-but-sad. 

Going forward (and in a montage set to Aerosmith’s Dude Looks Like a Lady), Mrs. Doubtfire takes care of the family, and Daniel even betters himself to become a better Mrs. Doubtfire. Which...to be honest, Daniel REALLY should’ve done this before. I get that he needed the pressure of losing the kids to do this, but...look, Daniel really wasn’t that responsible of a parent, and the fact that THIS is how he learns to be so is...not great. Like, here’s an example, OK: take Donald Trump.

Yeah, I know, what’s this politics doing in my peanut butter? And WOW, that reference is older than me, but anyway. Let’s say that, in two years, a new politician comes on the scene, and her name is Karyn Walldottir. She has somewhat centrist views, and behaves in a way that’s inclusive to the majority, and backs up her claims and promises with evidence (at least true enough for us to suspend our disbelief). This is, of course, Donald Trump disguised as a woman in order to gain custody of the United States of America again. Naturally.

Karyn Walldottir gets elected in 2024, and all of her policies are markedly different from Trump’s and Biden’s, but leaning closer to Biden in progressive standpoints (assuming that that worked for him come 2024). While Trump is doing this specifically to be president again, he ends up revising his personal policies, and being a better person and president for the country. A literal impossibility, I know. But suspend your disbelief to ask this question:

WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T HE DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!

OK, now that that dumbass (and mildly horrifying) thought process is concluded, let’s get back to Mrs. Doubtfire. In the process of Mrs. Doubtfire’s ingratiation with the family, Miranda’s been dating Stu, whom Mrs. Doubtfire subtly insults when they meet. And yeah, Daniel’s being a little petty here, but it makes a bit of sense at least.

That night, after an accidental intrusion by Chris when Mrs. Doubtfire is going to the bathroom, Daniel’s basically forced to tell Chris and Lydia his little secret, which Lydia’s happy about, but Chris is understandably weirded out about. But, they agree to keep the secret from their mom and younger sister.

At his OTHER job, delivering film reels from a TV station, he witnesses the filming of an extremely boring kids educational TV show, and comments as such to another man watching. As he quickly learns, this is the owner of the station, Jonathan Lundy (Robert Prosky), on whom Daniel makes a good impression.

In the meantime, Mrs. Doubtfire has a talk with Miranda about their love lives, real and fictional. Daniel realizes how badly Miranda had been suffering in their marriage, which she never told him because...well, he never seemed to take anything seriously. Which is entirely fair...but this is why Miranda’s a tricky-ass character. She’s got two sides: there’s the justified caring mother and strong woman, and there’s the PETTY ASSHOLE who genuinely doesn’t care about Daniel or his feelings AT ALL. Jesus.

And Stu...look, Stu is LITERALLY a Gary Stu, who’s mostly perfect. Sure, he’s not always been that way, but he definitely is now! He’s responsible, wealthy, in love with Miranda AND her kids. And yeah, at a country club that he’s a member of (OF COURSE he is), he privately badmouth Daniel in front of Mrs. Doubtfire, calling him a loser, and...yeah, he’s not really unjustified in that statement. Fact of the matter is, Stu is barely even a plot device.

Meanwhile, in Daniel’s day job, he finds himself alone in the studio, where the toy dinosaurs from the TV show are still sitting on the table. He plays with them, gives them voices, sings some songs, and impresses Mr. Lundy, who’s there in the shadows after all that. He’s impressed, and invites Daniel to dinner to talk about a potential future show at the network.

But then, it’s also Miranda’s birthday coming up, and Stu’s holding a dinner for her, to which Mrs. Doubtfire is invited. Trouble is, it’s at the OH FUCK IT. YOU know what this is. It’s at the same time and place as the Mr. Lund meeting yaddayaddayadda LOOK. We ALL know how this is going to end. It’s the GODDAMN LIAR REVEALED TROPE AGAIN. And here’s the thing:

I FUGGIN’ HAAAAAATE THE LIAR REVEALED TROPE

You know, that thing in movies (especially family movies of the ‘90s) where somebody starts off a situation with a lie, they get deeper and deeper into that lie, grow close to people under false pretenses, and then OH NO! THE LIAR IS REVEALED! And everybody’s angry and/or sad, the liar slumps off, defeated and broken, but then realizes the error of his ways, while everybody else realizes the same thing, and he comes back to vindicate himself, and is welcomed back with open arms. And it introduces unneeded tension AND I HAVE ALWAYS FUCKING HATED IT.

Let’s list the examples, shall we? A Bug’s Life, Aladdin, Mulan, The Road to El Dorado, Chicken Run, How to Train Your Dragon, Klaus, Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted, Megamind (SUBVERSIVE MY ASS), Over the Hedge, Rango, Toy Story, Steven Universe (the whole Pearl/Sardonyx arc, which went on for WAY too long), the list goes on and fucking on. And I GODDAMN HATE IT. Not to say it can’t be done well. Disney actually usually does a pretty good job with it, and Dreamworks uses it A LOT, but almost always pretty well. But sometimes...GOD. Either way, it’s still used FAR too fucking much. And look. Here’s another one. Joy.

Look, at this point...I will freely admit that I'm biased against this trope, but it’s also obvious where this is headed. Basically, Daniel switches back and forth between the dinner with the family, and the dinner with Mr. Lundy. With Mr. Lundy, he gets absolutely SMASHED. Great. Great decision, Daniel.

So, yeah, Mrs. Doubtfire’s also smashed, which is pretty goddamn apparent to them all. At this point, I’m wondering why Daniel, as Mrs. Doubtfire, didn’t just say she was sick as hell, and had to go home. Or, considering the fact that Daniel proposes her as a show idea regardless, the switch wasn’t even necessary! And that means that none of what’s about to happen, happens. Or, here’s a crazy thought, maybe Daniel shouldn’t have POISONED STU’S FOOD WITH CAYENNE PEPPER THAT HE’S ALLERGIC TO! 

YEAH! Because that causes Stu to go into anaphylactic shock for a hot sec, causing him to choke. Mrs. Doubtfire does the right thing and gives him the Heimlich maneuver, and in the process, SURPRISE! IT’S BEEN DANIEL ALL ALONG! BUH BUH BUHHHHH DA DA DA DAAAAA DA

Yeah, so Miranda is understandably ENRAGED by this revelation, and it’s all over. Daniel represents himself in court at the custody hearing, but the judge deems his “lifestyle” dangerous for children. Which...yikes, Judge, that statement didn’t age well AT FUCKING ALL. But, given Daniel’s admitted stupidity with this whole idea, he’s not wrong about the dangerous part. But, I have to say, Daniel’s speech in his own defense is nice...although he also says he’s addicted to his children, so let’s throw a second yikes on there for good measure.

The speech moves Miranda...but not enough to prevent Daniel has his custody stripped away from him! GOD THEY BOTH SUUUUUUUUCK. Daniel’s a broken man, and Miranda and the kids are similarly broken without him and Mrs. Doubtfire. However...Daniel’s career isn’t broken AT ALL, as Mrs. Doubtfire is now a kid’s show host! Yeah! And she’s a hit! And again, it brings me to wonder why Daniel DIDN’T APPLY HIS OBVIOUS TALENTS LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST GODDAMN PLACE

Realizing that she made a mistake, she goes to the set during the filming of a show. She congratulates him on the show, and he replies by stating how broken he is now! Thanks, Miranda! Well, after an argument, and after Miranda sees how badly she’s messed up someone she used to care for, they come to an agreement: joint custody. FINALLY GODDAMN IT

And good, because I don’t want them back together. I have to give this film props for that: they acknowledge that these two are NOT good for each other, and they deliver a message in the end: families are families, no matter how they’re shaped. One mom, one dad, uncle or aunt, grandparents, adoption, two separated or divorced parents...oh, also, two dads or two moms. Yeah, that isn’t said in Mrs. Doubtfire’s final monologue, which is odd considering Daniel’s brother and his life partner...but it’s also kid’s TV in the ‘90s, so I guess that sadly makes sense. And with that, and their new family arrangement, Daniel takes his kids on an afternoon out, as himself.

...Look. That’s Mrs. Doubtfire, yaddayaddayadda LOOK. I don’t dislike this movie. In fact, here: have this mini-Review:

Cast and Acting - 9/10: Good, although Brosnan was a little stiff.

Plot and Writing - 5/10: It’s an idiot plot, what can I say? It’s actually based off of a book, which was a surprise to me, but it was adapted by Randi Mayem Singer and Leslie Dixon, and...eh. Still an idiot plot.

Directing and Cinematography - 8/10: It’s Chris Columbus, you get what you get. Definitely has that Home Alone flair to it.

Production and Art Design - 8/10: I mean, yeah, the Doubtfire disguise was good most of the time, but...I dunno, I could still tell it was Robin. But, still, it was good. Took 4 hours of makeup, fun fact.

Music and Editing - 8/10: Music by Howard Shore (ooh, Howard Shore!) was pretty nice, especially the ending theme. Editing by Raja Gosnell was...RAJA GOSNELL???

OH GOD. Yeah, OK, I see what happened here. Also, I didn’t know he was an editor! I just know him as the director of the Scooby-Doo films, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, The Smurfs films, Big Momma’s...

...OK, no, I am not doing Big Momma’s House OR the Madea movies. THE TROPE-BUCK STOPS HERE! I am moving on to something else! But, of course, I have to sum this up in a Review. See you there!

[holylulusworld]

I don’t like you but stay

Summary: James ‘Bucky’ Barnes is the newest addition to the Avengers. Trying to help his friend settle in Steve asks his friend and the teams moral support to help him with unknown consequences.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader, Steve x Reader (platonic), Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Bruce Banner, Wanda Maximoff

Warnings: angst, language, Bucky being a douche, arguments, fights, violence, angry Bucky, tension, possessive Bucky

Takes place after Endgame. Everyone is happy and alive. No one got hurt...

“You could at least try, Buck.” Steve tries once again.

“They don’t like me and I’m not a team player…not for a long time.”

“But Sam helped us back then, just like Wanda and Clint. We fought together against Thanos, it’s only one dinner. Come with me and eat with the team. Y/N will be there too. You know, my best friend.”

“A doll is your best friend now, huh?”

“She’s not a doll, more like our moral support. Y/N listens to us after a hard mission or if we have problems.”

“A goddamn psychologist or more therapist? No way I let her rummaging in my brain. I’ve got enough of people trying to trick my mind or manipulate me, Stevie.”

“Buck, calm down. She doesn’t want to manipulate you in any way. She’s a friend and I want you to visit her once a week. That’s an order Sergeant.” Steve says full Captain now.

“Fine, Captain. But I will not talk to that woman.”

“Then go to her and just sit in her chair but you will visit her.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

----

“How is Steve’s friend?” You ask.

“Unfriendly.” Nat chuckles. “Ruined my bikini figure by shooting me.”

“That was years ago, and he wasn’t himself.” Bruce throws in.

“Says the guy with the temper problems.” Sam chuckles.

“Guys, I wanted to know how he is now. Not his time during the Hydra crap. It’s awful this happened to him.”

“Honestly we do not know much about him, except he’s a great fighter and Cap’s friend. I mean he’s not hanging out with us at all. Always stays in his room or trains with Cap.” Sam says, and you nod.

“Thought so. That’s the reason Steve asked me for advice. Jesus this will be a hard piece of work.”

“He’s not a bad man. I could read his emotions and he’s torn and hurt.” Wanda says.

“I guess so. After all, he’s been through. I mean being a puppet to someone must be awful. Waking up and everything you know and love is gone is the worst.” You whisper. Lost in thoughts you barely recognize the man standing behind your back.

“The puppet just arrived.” Bucky spats and you sigh.

“Be nice, Buck,” Steve warns.

“Why? She called me a puppet.”

“I said that being a puppet must’ve been awful. I showed compassion.” You say turning around to face Steve’s friend.

Angry blue eyes stare back at you. You never saw more beautiful eyes at a man. Steve has blue eyes too, but this man is beating him without any effort. The soft brown hair frames his handsome face and you can’t stop looking at his lips.

“Got nothing else to justify your speech?” Bucky mutters.

“Hell, I didn’t hold a speech. I…forget it. I’m sorry if you got it wrong. I was just asking how you are doing. Hi, I’m Y/N, a friend of Steve.”

“A therapist without any compassion.” The blue-eyed man snaps at you and anger is boiling up inside of you. Seeing you rolling your shoulders and your body go stiff Steve plants a hand on your shoulder.

“Just breathe…he didn’t mean it that way. You know you can’t…not yet.” Steve says and you narrow your eyes.

“Fine by me, let’s eat then. Wanda and I cooked for all of you. Including our new member.” You say and Bucky scoffs.

“Won’t eat a bite of anything that doll cooked.”

“Then starve to death, Jamesy.” You chuckle.

----

Around one week later…first appointment…

“Why is there no chair or stuff…only a couch?”

“I like to get comfortable while talking to people. I’m not your therapist. We are not in my office this is my room. I invited you to talk to me, but you don’t have to. There are books and newspapers.” You say to lighten the mood.

“I won’t talk to you doll, no matter which kind of trick you will use.”

“I will not force you to anything, James. If you just want to sit over there it’s fine by me. I’ll answer some emails and stuff then.” You say opening your laptop. Seeing you and Steve as your wallpaper Bucky narrows his eyes.

“Are you fucking Stevie?” He mutters.

“Steve and I are only friends. There’s no physical attraction between us.”

“Lesbian or blind?”

“Huh?”

“Have you seen Steve? He’s Captain America.”

“I know that Steve is very attractive and most of the woman want a physical relationship with him too, but like Wanda and Nat, I’m not into him that way. We are friends since he came back. I helped him find a way to live in this for him new world. I would never risk our friendship for sex.”

“So, you would fuck him?”

“I do not like the word fuck…James. I’m not someone who has one-night stands.”

“Prude then?” He asks again.

“Neither prude nor a whore. Are we done talking about me and my sex life? Steve and I are friends. He’s into someone else, by the way, so if you want to talk about something start with your life.” You grunt.

“I like sex, I’m not prude.” James chuckles and you roll your eyes.

“Yeah. I get it.”

----

“Anything? Did he open up?” Steve asks.

“If you mean asking me about you and me and if we fuck, then yes, Steve. He opened up.” You mutter.

“Seriously? He asked if we…uh.”

“I told him we do not have sex. Don’t worry. Also, I told him I don’t like the word fuck.”

“Same.” Your friend stammers shaking his head. “Why did he ask you?”

“Saw the wallpaper on my laptop.”

“I see.”

----

Three weeks, James. If you do not want to talk about anything it’s fine by me. I’ll call Steve and tell him you are…whatever.” You groan while Bucky continues throwing knives at your books.

“Can you stop this? These books are rare. First editions. Stop ruining my books.” You yell now and Bucky starts grinning.

“That so? Do not look rare to me. Just old paper, doll.”

“If you throw one more knife at my books I’ll call Steve right now and tell him you can not attend any mission for the next months. How does that sound to you Bucky?” You mutter and he narrows his eyes. Searching your face, he licks his lips and throws a knife into the nearby wall.

“What the fuck!” You yell.

“Ah, you said fuck, doll.” Bucky teases and you want to strangle him.

“You threw a knife into my wall, you idiot! I can’t believe I promised Steve to help you. What a waste of time and energy. Could have good sex right now instead I’m trapped in this nightmare.” You groan falling onto the couch.

“Good sex? You…seriously.”

“As if you would know how to satisfy a woman.”

“I know how to fuck a girl to make her scream, doll!”

“Sure. That’s the reason you are hiding in your room since you came here. Just like in Wakanda you stay to yourself. No visitors or friends come around. You are one poor and lonely boy trying to get Steve’s attention.”

“I don’t need to listen to your stupid babbling,” Bucky yells storming out of the office.

“Finally, a reaction. I can work with that.” You say to yourself.

----

“How long do I have to come here.” He groans after two minutes.

“Until Steve says otherwise, or we killed each other.” You retort too tired to fight today.

Closing your eyes, you try to ignore the man staring at you. You can’t see it, but his blue eyes are searching your face.

“Why are you so silent today?”

“None of your concern.” You sigh.

“Tell me and I’ll tell you something too.”

“I do not trust you.”

“Pinky promise.”

“Fine, I was seeing this guy for some weeks. We had a few dates and I started liking him.”

“Was the sex bad?”

“Dunno. We didn’t have sex so far. I was busy with my job, the Avengers…you. I haven’t seen him for two weeks, so I called him and he acted like he’s busy. What he didn’t know was that I was in front of his house. I wanted to surprise him and then…”

“Then what doll? Don’t hook me on a story and don’t continue it.” Bucky mutters.

“I saw him with the waitress of the restaurant we were eating at during our last date. He almost choked on her tongue. Grabbed her ass and more.”

“So, he had fun. What’s the problem?”

“Only a guy can ask you something like that. I started liking him. If a woman does like you she imagines things…a future with you. We don’t see just a potential sex partner. We see marriage, children, a home…”

“Sex?”

“Yeah, dammit, Barnes, sex too. But first of all, I thought he likes me but obviously, he did not. He was just another asshole trying to get in my pants. Satisfied?”

“Hmm…” Angrily clenching his jaw Bucky decides to pay your friend a visit.

“Will you tell me something now?” You ask.

“I ate pancakes and strawberries for breakfast.” Bucky chuckles and your eyes widen.

“I can’t believe I opened up to you only for you to make fun of me.” You yell. This time you are the one storming out of the room.

----

“This won’t work Steve. I’m trying to make him open up for six months now and honestly, I’m done. He’s making fun of me. Lies…”

“Lies?” Steve asks.

“He made a pinky promise if I tell him something personal he will do so too. I told him, but he didn’t keep his promise. Told me what he ate for breakfast. I’m done, Steve. Let him go on missions or not. I really don’t care. You know him better than I do…I just can’t do this any longer. I’m sorry for letting you down.” You sigh.

Moving his arms around you Steve gently plants a kiss to your hair. What you both can’t see is the angry look on Bucky’s face and the jealousy welling up his stomach.

----

The next sessions Bucky never shows up, so you decide to tell Steve you did your best. After the little breakdown, you promised to give his friend another chance but obviously, he doesn’t want it.

Leaving the room to finally meet up with Nat to go on a shopping trip you bump into Bruce staring at you with wide eyes.

“You okay? Do you need my help, Bruce?”

“I think James needs your help. His hand is bloody, and he doesn’t want to tell me why he’s injured. Looks like he hit someone, but he refuses to talk to me.”

“Okay. Calm down, breathe.”

“I’m not going to ‘hulk around’ right now. I’m just worried about Steve’s friend. I would’ve asked Cap but he’s away.”

“On a mission with Tony and Clint, I know. Let’s go then.”

----

“Will you tell me why your hand is bloody and your knuckles almost broken?” You ask.

“…”

Sighing you shake your head. He even refused to let anyone clean the wounds.

“Listen I know you don’t like me.”

Not answering Bucky stares at the wall beind you.

“Dammit, you are so frustrating. Steve had to soothe me after our last session. Cap had to hug me to calm me down, idiot!” You mutter and Bucky’s face lits up.

“I had to hit someone.” He mumbles finally letting you clean the wound.

“Why? Was someone else in danger?”

“He hurt a woman and I had to defend her.”

“Oh, then it was justified, I guess.” You say gently putting some sanitizer onto his wounds.

“Hmmm…I’m sorry I did not come to our session. I had to take care of that guy first.”

“It’s okay. I can throw knives at my books on my own.” You tease and he smiles at you for a moment.

“I can do this for you. Bet you can’t even hit the right target.”

“Maybe…or maybe I’m a master…”

----

“He did what?” You gasp.

“I’m sorry to tell you but it seems like Bucky beat your friend into a pulp,” Sam says.

“Why should he do such a thing? I never even told him anything about Matthew. God, did his wife see this? Was she there too?”

“No, luckily we came just in time and thanks to Starks technology we could fix what Bucky broke. Why is he going after your friends?”

“I think he hates me and tries to hurt me that way, Sam. This ends now. No matter what Steve told me I will make Bucky pay for this. Friend of Steve or not I will mop the floor with the Winter Soldier right now.” You yell storming toward the training hall.

Bursting through the door you see Bucky’s surprised face a smile on his lips he walks toward you but the moment he approachs you he feels his body gets slammed into the nearby wall.

“You think you can do this and believe I will not hurt you!” You yell.

“I got no clue what you are talking about.”

“No clue? You almost killed my friend!”

“A worthless piece of shit!” Bucky talks back.

Using your powers, you slam him into the ceiling and then down on the floor. Groaning in pain he can see you start feeling dizzy. Steve was right. It’s too soon to use your powers again.

“I swear I will break your neck stupid bitch!” Bucky yells.

“Do it! Steve will be very happy after you killed his best friend, asshole!”

“I’m his best friend!”

“Forget it! You tried to kill him, you psychopath. Crazy piece of a man, not even able to control his emotions. I’m done…I’m just done with trying to help you for Steve’s sake. Fuck you, Bucky Barnes. Go to hell or back to Hydra. I don’t care!” You yell and for the first time, Bucky flinches at your words.

Tears stream down your face and you need to brace yourself against a wall to not break down. Before you can react an impact next to you make you scream.

“You won’t just leave! I’m not done with you! I don’t like you…but stay…” Bucky pants removing his metal hand out of the wall.

“Why? You tried to kill my friend! He never did anything wrong. His pregnant wife was in his house. Would you have attacked her too?” You sniff and his eyes widen.

“Wife? You said he cheated on you with a waitress.” Bucky gasps.

“Waitress? I don’t…wait…did you believe Matthew was the one cheating on me?”

“Yeah…he was not?”

“No, Matthew is my cousin's husband. One of my best friends since college.”

“God…then I was wrong. I wanted to punish him for hurting you…”

“Why would you do that?” You ask feeling even dizzier.

“I…”

“I think I need to sit down…” You whisper.

Scooping you into his arms Bucky picks you up to run with you toward Bruce’s lab. Someone has to help him...

----

“You see she’s like Wanda but at the same time different. Using her powers means using life energy. She drains her own energy out to perform her powers. I told her she’s too weak by now. The fight with Thanos got her good. Y/N was defending Vision with Wanda and almost died.” Steve explains looking at your unconscious form.

“She’s an Avenger too?” Bucky asks.

“Kinda…more into defending an injured team member and stuff. She uses a shield to protect us if needed. Y/N barely attacks. It’s just not her style.”

“But she attacked me…really good. A hell of a woman.” Bucky says.

“Ask her out, Buck. Man up and tell her how you feel. Watching you pining is kinda sad.” Steve says knocking Bucky on his shoulder.

----

“Hey, doll. Don’t move too much. You really shouldn’t have attacked me.” Bucky says gently holding your hand.

“What happened?”

“You were unconscious and I brought you to Bruce.”

“Oh, Steve was right. I wasn’t ready to use my powers yet.”

“I’m sorry for hurting your friend. I was wrong…uh…I just tried to punish that guy.”

“You don’t have to punish anyone for me, James.”

“But I want to…I don’t like you but…stay. Please stay with me. Don’t leave me too.” Bucky says kissing your hand softly.

“Bucky?”

“I want…I need…I like you. Would you go out with me?”

“Seriously?”

“You don’t want to?” He sighs.

“I mean you need six months to ask me out? Do you need that long to get me into your bed too?”

Eyes darkened Bucky grins down at you. Covering your body with his he presses you into the mattress.

“No.” He rasps before kissing you breathless.

“Fuck. I like you too…but you will have to tell Steve you stole his best friends heart.” You tease.

“I’m his best friend and he knows you stole mine.” Bucky retorts.

“That’s not true! I’m his best friend.”

“Woman don’t make me mad! I don’t like you but I will make you stay…and I’m Stevie’s best friend.”

“In your dreams…now kiss me again and we ask Steve.”

“Those are the most useful words ever leaving your lips, doll,” Bucky mutters claiming your lips once again.

----

“Fucking finally,” Nat groans dragging Steve out of your room.

“They were fighting over me.”

“No, they are fighting to turn each other on. You really don’t want to see what happens next.” Nat chuckles when you and Bucky start moaning.

“I guess you are right. I like them both but I will not stay…”

[kalluun-patangaroa]

Suede: The Insatiable Ones – the ugly beautiful truth is a must watch

Waiting for this:

you may read this nice review:

The GQ Magazine

Saturday 24 November 2018 

By George Chesterton

A new Sky Arts documentary about Suede uncovers the tangled tale of a band who mixed glamour and excess with the dark poetry of suburbia

Credit: Sky/Dean Chalkley                        

                        By the time of Suede’s fourth album, 1999’s Head Music, it was easy to imagine that Brett Anderson had been replaced by a Brett Anderson Random Lyric Generator. But by 1999 Suede were out of step, just as they had been when they released their first single in 1992. They are a band who admit to never fitting in and even at their commercial peak they were trapped between what they had been rejecting, American grunge and indie dance, and what they inadvertently gave birth to, Britpop. They remained outside whatever cultural moment they happened to be sashaying past in slightly flared trousers. Suede always had delusions of grandeur. But what beautiful delusions they were.

The Sky Arts documentary Suede: The Insatiable Ones, follows the band’s successes and troubles through interviews, archives and a mass of video shot by the drummer Simon Gilbert in the studio and on the road. The film, by Mike Christie, begins with Anderson nodding sagely in a studio listening to some orchestration in Prague. It’s indicative of what Suede always wanted to be: a band not necessarily driven by an ambition to be huge, but rather a band with huge ambitions.

Suede: The Insatiable Ones begins with the journey of Anderson from school in Haywards Heath to University College London, where the singer met Justine Frischmann in 1989 and formed the core of the group with his childhood friend, bassist Mat Osman (brother of Richard Osman, who appears throughout). The generosity of Frischmann’s testimonials provide some of the warmest moments of the film, adding welcome perspective to a band whose entire existence was so cultivated or, to their detractors, contrived.

               Suede admit to never fitting in. They always had delusions of grandeur. But what beautiful delusions they were    

Recounting the cash-strapped early years, we discover the shock when The Smith’s drummer Mike Joyce auditioned – “It was one of the strangest things that ever happened to us” says Osman – and that Gilbert’s arrival was down in part to his friend Ricky Gervais, who, for a short time, was their ineffectual co-manager. “I remember saying, ‘oh I’m rubbish at this,’” says Gervais. “And the band agreed.” Then Bernard Butler answered an ad for a guitarist in the NME. His arrival and Frischmann’s departure – she left Anderson with a broken heart but a stack of his best lyrics to write – hastened the great leap they were looking for. “It enabled me to tap into something primal – loss, frustration, jealousy,” says Anderson. “I was trying to reflect the world around me – squats, roundabouts – but it was also an escape.”

The film captures the sudden emergence of Suede’s particularity, as they signed to Nude Records and played to increasingly hysterical audiences. As Stuart Maconie, the man who put Anderson on the cover of Select magazine in April 1993 with headline “Yanks Go Home” explains. Suede have a very definite constituency. It emerged from and reflected the emotional frigidity and patio-grey deserts of suburbia. And just like any artists looking beyond the horizons of their claustrophobic home, Suede were at once explorers and prisoners. The music, the image, the lyrics were a reaction against their environment that could never escape its own frames of reference.

Credit: Getty Images 

From the first time I heard The Drowners – especially the B-Side To The Birds – it was obvious to me why I liked them so much. The early part of the documentary explores Anderson and Osman’s emergence from Haywards Heath – something Anderson himself eloquently recounts in his autobiography Coal Black Mornings. This was a world I knew rather too well for comfort and he articulated it with unnerving accuracy. He became the poet laureate of pylons, municipal parks and cheap housing stock. If anything, the film does not state the impact of the first singles and their debut album, Suede, enough. It was a moment of exuberance and drama just as British pop seemed to have run out of steam (again). “The sexuality in the lyrics was a really important thing,” says Anderson. “I wanted to talk about sexuality in the same way Lucian Freud paints the human body.”

Butler, a lithe, beautiful figure with a guitar in his hands, is shown only in old clips and his contributions do not go beyond an interview he shared with Anderson after their acrimony had been resolved in 2004. It’s telling that when Osman talks of Butler’s slide into the musical monomania that saw him leave during their second album, Dog Man Star, he admits he wishes they had shown more empathy for this fragility. Butler was still grieving for his father in 1994, and this compounded the collapse of his relationship with Anderson and their producer Ed Buller.

Dog Man Star was recorded in shifts so Butler could work alone and he and Anderson effectively wrote their songs “by post”. Butler’s dark Brian Wilson routine did help create the massive sound and scope of Dog Man Star, which appeared just as the meat and potatoes of Britpop was emerging into the mainstream. “I felt partly responsible for it,” says Anderson of Britpop. “Like giving birth to some awful child.” It’s an album that should be treasured – grandiloquent and brooding but also deeply humane and smart. Butler’s exit fulfils that great trope of pop and rock history: the “what if” question. But this is misleading, as Anderson explains. He knew from the beginning that Butler would leave. It was simply a question of when.

       Suede's first album was a moment of exuberance and drama just as British pop seemed to have run out of steam

This sorry episode is lifted by the bathos of film’s funniest moment: the footage of a dewy-eyed Anderson in his dark glasses at a press conference following Butler’s departure, looking like David St Hubbins after Nigel Tufnell quits Spinal Tap. He admits, “Ninety-nine per cent of the world thought we were over, including part of me.”

Frischmann explains that Suede survived because it was always Anderson and Osman’s band. With bloody mindedness and the 17-year-old guitarist Richard Oakes (the first gig he had ever been to was Suede, who he watched with eyes on stalks at Poole Arts Centre in 1993) they returned with new songs and the wise decision to change the mood. That led to their most commercially successful album, bursting with big hits, Coming Up, helped by keyboard player Neil Codling. “It was such an optimistic record and that was a side of Suede nobody had seen before,” said Buller. The film reunites Anderson with the legendary Factory designer Peter Saville, who seemed to have created the band’s artwork of this period entirely in his dressing gown.

Credit: Getty Images

By the late Nineties the momentum was unsustainable, especially as Anderson, who admits his penchant at the hard stuff, became an free-basing self-parody. “I justified my addiction by seeing it as part of a rock’n’roll mythology.” Needless to say, wanting to make a Prince album hit a few snags. Firstly, he was high on crack and heroin. Secondly, he wasn’t Prince. Osman remembers how the band could tell if Anderson had been smoking crack because he would arrive at the studio with his hair pushed back to avoid setting it alight. Even when the singer got clean, the music had run dry. “We were done – we’d run out of inspiration,” says Osman. The fifth album has been officially disowned. In a group therapy session arranged for the film, Anderson apologises to the rest of the members for his behaviour and for announcing the split on Graham Norton. After a few awkward confessions, the footage cuts to them reforming at the Royal Albert Hall in 2010 and loving every minute of it.

           Osman said he could tell if Anderson had been smoking crack because he would arrive at the studio with his hair pushed back to avoid setting it alight

After side and solo projects, Suede returned and are slotting comfortably into national treasure status with three albums since, including this year’s The Blue Hour. Suede care. They do their homework. They make the effort. Nothing demonstrates this better than their love of the now archaic-sounding B-side, which they produced by the bucketload (collected on the fine Sci-Fi Lullabies in 1997), when other bands couldn’t be bothered.

Accusations of pretentiousness are pointless. If pop can’t be pretentious then there is no hope for humanity. Anyway, such barbs are often made by those for whom imagination itself is an act of class war. Like their contemporaries Pulp, Suede are canonical English pop, mixing the wry fantasies of art school (Bowie, Roxy Music, even Kate Bush), the working-class smarts of The Kinks and the sleaze of new wave. If you don’t understand Suede, you don’t understand English music. This is an understated documentary for a band who tried to be anything but understated. Then again, under the filthy glamour of Suede there has always been something dark and grey. To take a few examples at random: concrete, flyovers, motorways, council houses, skyscrapers, telephone wires, electric lights…

Suede: The Insatiable Ones is on Sky Arts on 24 November at 8pm, followed by Suede: Live At The Royal Albert Hall at 11.15pm    

[agra-designstudio]

Week 6

Ethnic Notions by Marlon Riggs

Sambo (Southern)

Images and songs portrayed a simple, docile, laughing black man.

Rhapsody in Black and Blue 1932

This became one of the classic portrayals of Black men in Film

Carefree and irresponsible

quick to avoid work while reveling in the easy pleasure of food, dance and song

Life was of childlike contentment

Happy Sambo began stage life in the early 1820s when T.D Rice brought the new sensation to American theater. 

Rice was known as an Ethiopian delineator, a white comedian who would perform in blackface. 

The name of his routine later became the symbol of segregation in the South; Jim Crow. 

Jim Crow was a dance that started on the plantations as a result of dancing being outlawed in 1690.

Dancing was said to be crossing your feet by the church. 

So the slaves created a way of shuffling and sliding to safely glide around the laws without crossing their feet. 

Slave saying for their cunning for gliding around the law: “Wheel about, and turn about, and jump just so, every time I wheel about, I jump Jim Crow.”

Apparently T.D.Rice saw a crippled Black man  dancing an exaggerated Jim Crow dance. Took the man’s old and torn clothes and imitated him on stage that night.

It was successful and Americans loved it

a bunch of imitators came about and began to do this exaggerated character dance

This became known as the Jim Crow character

So we have Jim Crow, T.D. Rice, taking a dance that was altered by a law, from a man that was crippled, and exaggerating it again and he had no intention of presenting the truth. 

Majority of the people in Ohio, and in the Louisiana Territory and along the Erie Canal, bought that this was a true image.

A devastating image. people from small towns who never saw a Black person before saw Rice, and bought that as a Black image.

1843 - a group of blackface performers came together to form a group, instead of delineators, they referred to themselves as minstrels.

Captivated broad audiences mostly in the North

Became the first form of national popular entertainment

They evolved into the singing dancing Sambo 

This figure became one of the most potent forces in the politics of slavery

Minstrel era really took off at the same time that the abolitionist movement took off

As there were people working to to end slavery, there were also pepole also exaggerating the portrayals that are found in the minstrel material. 

Minstrel caricatures mirrored the prevailing belief that slavery was good for the slave since it drew upon his “natural” inferiority and willingness to serve. Slaves were content.

For many Americans, both in the North and South, the Sambo resolved both the moral and political conflict of allowing slavery in a free society.

Zip Coon 

New character based on free Blacks in the North

A dandy and a buffoon, Zip Coon’s attempt to imitate whites mocked the notion of racial equality.

The two characters, Zip Coon and the Sambo created a double -edged defense agains slavery. Zip Coon, proof of Blacks’ ludicrous failure to adapt to freedom, and Sambo, the fantasy of happy darkies in their proper place. 

Mammy

Emerged as a defense of slavery 

Plantation novels and minstrel shows presented her as fat, pitch black and happily obedient to her master and mistress.

Always presented as docile, loyal, protective of the white house. An indication that she understood the value of society

 Presented almost as the antithesis of the white lady, the person who does not have qualities of fragility and beauty which would make her valued in the society

Hair hidden under a bandana, ample weight, dark skin and coarse manners, the mammy was stripped of sexual allure.

She would faithfully serve the masters household in popular fiction and theater, but here her presence never evokes sexual tension 

If the mammy were to become a sexual being (which in reality they were) but if she was to be that in myth and fiction then she would become a threat to the mistress of the house, she would become a threat to the entire system. 

Because then she would be capable of being desired by the master of the house

We know from the diaries and letters of slave mistresses that this was often the case, and it caused much disruption and friction in the “happy” plantation system the planters wanted to project.

Portrayed as subservient and happy to whites, the mammy was portrayed differently in relation to her own family. 

In the usual American society set up, the person who controls is the male. 

The mammy is presented as the controller. As a way of indication how inferior we are, that men are weak and women are strong, the opposite of the way it’s supposed to be according to the societal norms.

Mammy strikes two important concepts of gender in antebellum society. 

1. She is strong, asexual, and ugly when a woman is supposed to be beautiful, fragile, dependent. 

2. She is a controller of her own people, of the males in her own society when the female should be dependent and subordinate, and indication clearly that Black people can’t make it.

Freedom brought hope to Black Americans. Emancipated slaves were inspired by the promise of equality. This promise was betrayed. 

Those who wanted to re-establish firm white control, wanted to maintain white supremacy by any means possible used the argument that Blacks that are no longer under the beneficial/ kind guidance of whites were reverting back to savagery. 

Political debate manipulated public fears about the so called “black menace.”

Old stereotypes were adapted to the new politics. Blacks were increasingly being identified as brutes.

The climate of racial hysteria was seen in every aspect of popular culture. 

Best examples of this in the writings of Thomas Dixon in his novel The Clansman, which later became a hit Broadway play, and was then adapted as the most successful of early American motion pictures, Birth of a Nation.

Birth of a Nation - was discribed as a “history writ in lightning” by President Woodrow Wilson

Captured on film the classic caricature of Blacks following reconstruction. 

Here emancipation was viewed as a tragic mistake, it had ended slavery and let loose Blacks’ wildest passions.

Brute Negroes, played by white men in blackface, pursued white virgins.

These images guaranteed to encourage racial violence. These images also justified it.

Wouldn’t have gotten images of a brute negro earlier because it wouldn’t have helped in the defense of slavery.

To depict/ suggest earlier too much that there were people that were rebellious would have suggested that the Blacks wanted to be free.

In the antebellum times they needed the image that Blacks were docile.

In reconstruction the Black is a challenge to the political system and they have to not only then try to justify maybe a reason for going back to slavery, but they also have to justify their reasons for killing the Blacks. Because they are saying that the Blacks are an offense to civilization.

The mythology is telling us that “these Blacks need to be controlled” and at the same time in a very clever way the planters  also want to soothe people to make sure that they believe that they can go back to the “good old days” when everybody was happy.

Older generation = faithful retainers of the slave era

New generation = out of control 

The Blacks who had grown up in the period since the Civil War and had never known the domesticating influence of slavery.

Two-prong attack on Blacks

1. reduced to servile, harmless singing darkies of a “ the good old times” before the Civil War, what they really wanted to go back to 

2. attach on supposedly what they’ve become now, vicious, brutal, aggressive, violent

At the turn of the century, America experienced unprecedented race hatred. 

Violence, Jim Crow segregation, mob terror, became acceptable methods of social control.

And always to justify this behavior was the excuse of the animalistic Black brute.

Pickaninnies 

Brute caricatures of Black children showed them as victims who evoked not sympathy, but the feeling that Blacks were subhuman

They’re always on the river, on the ground, in a tree, partially clad, dirty, their hair unkempt.

Suggests that there was a need to imagine Black children as animal-like, as savage.

If you make the step and say that these children are really like little furry animals, then it’s much easier to justify the threat that’s embodied in having an alligator pursuing the child.

Black children disappeared as targets of comic violence. 

Material objects show us that there was still a segment of the population at large that was uncomfortable with the Black presence in the New World and needed to get rid of them, artistically rendering away/ removing Blacks so that there’s nothing left. 

20th century- (The ‘Gater & the Pickaninny) the images were inherited by vaudeville and motion pictures. the forms were new, but the content was the same. In the minstrel tradition, Black roles in films were still played by whites in blackface.

In film

When Blacks started to play themselves, they faced a tragic dilemma. By the time that they arrived to the minstrel stage they had to perform in blackface. So you had Black men darkening their already dark skin with soot and widening their mouths and portraying themselves. 

Rubin Crowder - A Black man from the Mid-West, by the time he had come to the minstrel stage, had to take an Irish name because most minstrels were Irishmen performing Black characters.

These Black actors viewed the minstrel stage as a doorway out of hunger, a doorway out of the South, a doorway to other opportunities.

Irony/ catch-22, where theres the evolution of people into a theatrical workforce, but at the same time we have a perpetuation of a stereotype. 

Reality of the early 1900′s

Growing numbers of Blacks moving from the country to the city, from the South to the North

Emancipations disrupted the social order of the South 

Black migration and competition for jobs threatened the status quo of the North.

Racial hostilities arose, new urban Coon caricatures formed - reflecting the perceived threat of an expanding Black labor force.

Dice, gambling and a penchant for razor blades = trademarks of these Urban Coon caricature

Variation of the old theme, Blacks could be childishly entertaining and at once vicious brutes. The difference was in the instruments that they used for amusement and violence. 

World War I

Blacks went into the war with great hopes. Were told for so long that if they played by the rules, that id they showed the white society if they made it up the hill by their own boot straps, that society would say “Hey, welcome, join.”

But the service and self- esteem of Black war veterans was undercut with caricature. 

Symbolically these images reinforced white supremacy by fitting Blacks within “acceptable” roles as servants and entertainers. The reality of Black servicemen who now bore arms and demanded the freedom and opportunity at home they had fought for abroad. 

This angered many whites.

Race riots swept the North every summer from 1919-1921. period of overt and casual racism 

Bert Williams

Tall dignified man that spoke precise English, stooped his shoulders and learned to talk in the minstrel imitation of Black speech. 

Became America’s pre-eminent blackface artist.

“It’s no disgrace being a Black man, but its terribly inconvenient.”

Towards the end of his life, he was able to remove most of the offensively racist material from his routines. But long after his death, the blackface tradition continued. The dark mask now transferred to talking movies. 

Warner Brothers Al Jolson in The Jazz Singer

by 1927, more than 26 million Americans were going to the movies each week. 

What they saw reaffirmed a tradition of blackface entertainment that had prevailed since slavery. 

From the 20s to World War II 

Blackface permeated motion pictures. When blackface was abandoned its imprint still warped film images of Blacks, even when they played themselves. 

Of all media, cartoons provided the best form of racial caricature.

In this fantasy world, physical distortion and violence were comedy 

Together songs, books like Little Black Sambo, and moving pictures captivated the young. But they shaped the impressionable minds to view stereotypes as not only acceptable, but funny. 

Businesses also profited from the public’s affection for these images, pancakes, beans, syrup, tobacco, oysters. 

Blacks appeared on these and other product labels and household nicknacks. 

The cumulative effect of these images produced repeatedly and seen over and over again, images that are notions in the home, merely “amusing” notions. Became really destructive stereotypes and notions of the mind. 

How did these images shape enduring attitudes toward Black culture, behavior and appearance?

Black is Ugly

The standard of beauty upheld by America was inherited from Europe, against that image of perfection, Africans and African-Americans were compared.   

Historically the images that were being portrayed/ depicted of Blacks in America reinforced the psychology that Black is ugly.

To be natural, to be yourself or be the way you were presented in this world is ugly. 

 Distortion of the Black image. The portrayal of distinctive physical features of Blacks become not only laughable but grotesque. 

Bulging out eyes, big lips, hair standing in all sorts of directions

Blacks are Savage

Cartoons like “Jungle Jitters” popularized the belief that Black Americans had descended from savages.

According to myth, Slavery, then segregation, had managed to domesticate Black Americans. 

But without white control, Blacks reverted to savagery. 

1920′s and 30′s the savage stereotype got a new dimension

Very good example is The Emperor Jones - the notion that if Blacks were true to themselves, they would be noble savages perhaps, but still savages. 

Still the stereotype of the Black savage, just giving it a more positive evaluation. 

Blacks are Happy Servants

The more comforting images of the Mammy, Sambo and Uncle posed no threat. They happily entertained and served.

Through this romantic fantasy, generations of American from the Civil War to today escaped concerns of responsibility for racism 

From the beginning popular entertainment was dominated by the dancing, singing darkies. 

From the Cake Walk, to the Jitterbug the image was forged that Blacks, with in-born rhythm and musical talent were indifferent to poverty, subservience, segregation. 

Blacks greatest joy came in providing services to whites. 

They are only portrayed in full clothing that’s neat and nice to look at if its a uniform of some type, and along with the uniform is a big smile.

Civil Rights Movement

Brought deep contradictions in America to a head. 

Restrictive mold cast before the Civil War finally began  to crumble 100 year later. 

Ethel Water’s melancholy song brought forth a more triumphant call (Martin Luther King Jr. I have a Dream)

Mid 60s 

World attention was focused on the brutal reality of American racism. In this climate of national embarrassment and gradual reform, happy images of the past rang hollow.

Popular culture slowly adapted to the new tide in politics and attitudes. 

Late 60s

The more extreme caricatures begun their slow demise

But this didn’t mean an end to the more subtle forms of racial stereotyping

The images are still there, they’re just altered and used in a different way 

Example: the figure of the Black Rambo - is “allowed” to be more brutal, more violent. Creators of this are capitalizing off of the stereotypes of Black people.

People believe these images because they have become a thread throughout the major fiction, film, pop culture, songs, and even the jokes that Black people make about themselves. 

It’s become a part of our psyche

Real indication that one of the best ways of maintaining a system of oppression has to do with the psychological control of people. 

[la-femme-de-stardust]

My favorite DnD story ever: the Tale of Old Man Henderson

"The Origin of Old Man Henderson

Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:26 No 10966503

I hate de-railing a thread on accident. Who wants to hear the Tale of Old Man Henderson, the character who 'won' Call of Cthulhu?

Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)06 27 No.10966512

I do

Alright then, I'd like to start by saying that the GM was a bastard that had it coming. Bullshit tactics to make everyone go crazy like a d6 with only 5 sides. No story, no reason; lose 10 sanity. The others continued to allow this faggotry. We were playing a modern day setting, with the other players being a college professor who found a couple of stray pages of a copy of the Necronomicon and wanted to find out just what the hell it was, a detective who was investigating a missing persons case connected to the local cult and a local athlete (I think it was football) trying to find out why some of his friends seemed so distant lately. And then... there was Old Man Henderson, who was never given a first name.

Old Man Henderson was already a little crazy, and blamed his life's misfortunes on Vietnam.

He never went to Vietnam, he was 12 in 74. (And I will be fucking amazed if anyone gets that reference. (Not everyone does. It is the song "My Brother-In-Law" by Tim Wilson, as far as I can tell.) )

[Link for those without google-fu: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ]

Old Man Henderson wore combat boots, cargo shorts, and an open-front Hawaiian shirt with a wife-beater underneath.

He was dyslexic, and had a lesser case of Schizophrenia. allowing him to assume that the reason he saw crazy shit was because he WAS a little bit crazy.

He had a grizzly adams beard and wore his hair in a mohawk.

He never took off his aviator shades, for any reason.

He had a stuffed parrot on his shoulder named Rupert that he constantly asked for advice, while ignoring the other party members as convenient, assuming they were hallucinations.

He had an Automatic combat shot-gun he knew how to use.

He also had MEMORIZED the anarchist's cookbook. He started the game with a pre-existing hatred of religion, cutlery, and books.

His motivation was that he thought that the cult had stole his lawngnomes; while he had actually donated them to a charity auction, got high, and forgot about it.

Most importantly, he had a 320 page backstory that justified EVERYTHING, from his casual knowledge of physics to his ability to speak Portuguese flawlessly.

You can just imagine the sort of Shenanigans that character was involved in.

The point to having such a long backstory was three-fold.

to ensure the GM would never actually read it and

Since he would never read it except for in excerpts I pointed out to justify things, I could re-write and change things around completely at random without anyone noticing and MOST IMPORTANTLY

Convince everyone that I was serious about this character, and that it wasn't simply the game wrecking bullshit that it was.

Dickish yes, but he really did have it coming.

First outing of the group. The Detective was spying on the building of the cultists with a camera. The Jock was parked nearby, waiting for the group to let out so he could snoop it out The Professor had joined the cult to try and gain information.

Old Man Henderson very calmly parked his car, got out holding the shotgun in clear view of anyone who happened to be looking (in this case, the detective and the Jock), strolled up to the front door and kicked it in.

While everyone just kind of stopped in shocked silence for a moment, he leveled his shotgun on the lead priest/cultist guy and yelled "MUCKLE DAMRED CULTI 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?!?"

Did I mention that he had a nigh-incomprehensible Scottish accent that came and went as he drank and/or as amused me?

The leader couldn't understand my simple request to return my lawn gnomes (literally, you think what I typed is hard to understand? imagine it being slurred at you by a drunken Scotsman), he assumed I was trying to cast a spell at him in an elder tongue and summoned a shoggoth by murdering one of his fellows.

One Molotov And about 20 rounds later, the Shoggoth is dead, as is the cult leader, the Professor (he made the mistake of trying to make peace-maker mid murderous rampage) and about 10 assorted cultists.

Old Man Henderson then pissed on the Shoggoth's corpse, got back in his battered '92 Buick Century, and went home. The whole event was over in about ten minutes game time and nobody thought to get the Buick's plates.

The building burned down shortly, along with about half the written plot, and every lead either of the other surviving players had. The GM called a break then to figure out how to fix and/or work around what I just did.

It only got crazier from there."

From 1d4chan: https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson

[noelclover]

Off the Cuff

This is kind of a mini rant about gaming, gamers, game devs and game journalists. Basically, a ranty thingamajig about gaming.

It’s 3 AM, I’m allowed me rights to rant.

I remember being screwed over by PC Gamer. I remember when Diablo 3 was coming out and buying a magazine for the review article which gave it a pretty high score but conveniently forgot to mention any worries their staff who played the game had until quite a bit after the article. We’re talking ass-end of the magazine, past the hardware and ad bits.

Now this is, of course, an exaggeration. PC Gamer Malaysia did not bend me over and go in dry, and I was going to buy Diablo 3 anyway, but it didn’t change the fact that I felt mislead. Why? Because the article which talked about the game itself didn’t address the issues the magazine later brought up. And mind you, they brought it up way past all other articles which I think most people care about.

So I don’t really have a reservoir of faith for game reviewers, and the whole protecting of Dean Takahashi fiasco didn’t help. The fact that game developers and publishers advertise their games and fund reviewers, can threaten to exclude a magazine certainly doesn’t help. It feels like a cesspool of corruption, and I cannot help but question the ethics of game journalists.

This is not to say of course, that game journalists are the only evil or bad people around and stuff, we’ve got developers and publishers now becoming the corporations that they would have eventually become, which is to say really greedy folks who care only about the bottom line and not about the quality of the product they sell. Note: I understand that that is a corporations goal and I do not think that that is a bad thing. A corporation is there to generate wealth and income for the people who invested in it. This is how things work and it’s fine.

But we’ve gotten to a state where companies are tremendously relaxed, or antagonistic to their fan/playerbase. An example of this would be with Diablo 3 and Jay Wilson, the guy who directed it or something. There were concerns on how the game was brighter than before, and the guy booted the game up and basically said “BEHOLD IT IS A GREEN FIELD IT’S BRIGHT NOT DARK NERDDDDSSSSSSSSSSS” and made fun of the people who brought it up as though that was what they meant. To the people who felt that it looked a bit too cartoony (it does, for the record. It really looks like a reskinned WoW, which puts me off a bit but I treat D3 as D3, not as D2, much like how I treat D2 as D2, not as D1.) he made Whimsyshire, which in contrast to the wink devs gave players in D2′s rather memorable Cow level, felt like an insult. Another example would, I think, be that of Destiny and how they allegedly cut out a lot of content and decided to sell it at two thirds the price of a full game, how they said they strongly believed that the price they asked for was reasonable despite it allegedly lacking content, and of course, how they wanted players who cared about emotes to repurchase basically all of Destiny. I think they backtracked on it and sold it separately later and I’m not sure how exactly it all panned out, but I don’t care and that isn’t the point. The point is that they tried to, so it’s here as an example. Note that ANet did this with Guild Wars 2′s first expansion Heart of Thorns, an expansion I did not and will not purchase because they decided it was a smart thing to have me buy the base game again.

While I get that business is always about trying to toe the line and have people buy your stuff while maximizing profit, I feel that it’s a bit much now. Especially with loot boxes.

(Yes, it may be publishers rather than developers, but they’ve a funny relationship at this point and I’m pointing in a general direction. I fully acknowledge this.)

So with this, I might make it seem like player criticisms of games are always justified, but of course, that is not the case. It is at times justified and at times we simply have trolls and white knights clashing, causing over reactions which meet with other over reactions. There is no appeasing your audience, and that is true for everything, even games.

I’ve seen people talk about how Diablo 3 was best when it had it’s auction house (despite the AH feeling like something that was meant to sort of fix the terrible drops/droprates), how having self sufficiency and tactics for dungeon running in GW2 was shit, how FF14 not being FF11 or the initial FF14 (which was slow as all hell from what I saw on YT) was a disaster. I’ve seen people who start ranting about the good ol’ days when the games were ivory tower messes (I am still someone who believes that skill should be developed and endings earned. Possibly because Youtube exists for those who just want to watch, and because I’m just old school and believe in rewarding skill, even in single player games, but I don’t believe in fucking over the kid who rolled his character and spent 10 hours on it only to find that it’s not viable), who just shit on a game because it didn’t meet some imagined perfection. I’ve seen players who think that just because they paid for a game or helped fund it a game should somehow be made in their vision.

Toxic folk lead to a sort of push back from certain devs and reviewers, so sometimes these reactions can be justified. But when they start overreacting to everything, start being corrupt, throw about their ethics, isn’t it justified for the players to call them out?

It’s frustrating to see games get all political when they’re games, things people play to take a break from reality, a hobby they go to to enjoy so that they won’t go absolutely nuts and kill themselves over the frustrations and disappointments in life.

[libertariantaoist]

It used to be that the American left, or at least substantial portions of it,  were reliable allies in the war against the warmongers

No more.

What we are witnessing today is a complete turnaround of the American left’s  historic foreign policy stance. The glory days of the 1950s and Sixtiest, when  liberals and leftists stood together in the fight against the cold war hysteria  that led to government persecution of alleged “Communists” and “fellow travelers”  are long gone.

Today we are subjected to the  spectacle of “liberal” Democratic party politicians and their media amen  corner demanding an “investigation” of the President of the United States and  his associates on the grounds that they are Russian agents and “useful idiots.”  And anyone who questions this nonsense is smeared, as Rep. Adam Schiff’s reply  to Tucker Carlson’s relentless on air questioning made all too clear. Asked  to provide evidence that the Russians determined the results of the 2016 election,  Schiff  said: “You’re carrying water for the Kremlin, you’re going to have to move  your show over to Russia Today.”

The smarmy Schiff, ranking Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, is  leading the charge, along with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, calling  for a show trial of Trump appointees (and Trump himself) disguised as an “investigation”  into an alleged Russian plot to subvert democracy. He’s also a big fan of the  Saudis: he brazenly cheers  on the bombing of women and children in Yemen by his friends in Riyadh. But  since there are no leaks by the “intelligence community” exposing Saudi ties  to lawmakers – it’ll never happen, folks! – no one talks about this.

The  latest chapter in this sorry story is the sudden “revelation” that Attorney  General Jeff Sessions spoke with the Russian ambassador – twice! – in his capacity  as a US Senator, and while he was an informal advisor to the Trump campaign.  The chorus of demands that he recuse himself from the investigation – some are  even calling for his resignation as Attorney General – has now reached a crescendo  (as I write this,  Sessions had now recused himself). Even Glenn Greenwald,  who has written eloquently about the dangers of the current anti-Russian hysteria,  called on Sessions to recuse himself and support the appointment of a Grand  Inquisitor special prosecutor.

But why is that? After all, plenty of media outlets have accused Greenwald  of being a “Kremlin tool.” Does that mean we should investigate the charge,  and perhaps even haul him up before a revived House Committee on Un-American  Activities, where he will be subjected to a merciless grilling about his alleged  “Russian ties”?

Yet Greenwald, and those few on the left who have so far resisted the anti-Russian  tide, couldn’t bring themselves to defend Sessions against this kind of attack.  To do so would alienate them from their liberal followers: they just can’t afford  to be so isolated. Yet they are making a colossal mistake, one they’ll come  to regret in due course.

Sessions – a hard-line “law and order” type and is from Alabama (and we know  what that means) – is now being portrayed as just another “Kremlin tool.”  The campaign to lynch him — the perfect marriage of political correctness,  Trump Derangement Syndrome, and Russophobia — represents the consolidation  of what used to be the “left” around hostility to Russia as a foundational “principle.”

This turn toward Russopbobia is partly the result of the  left’s rage over the election of Donald Trump, but, as I pointed out in  my  last column, that’s only part of the story. The inherent tendency of the  left to want to remake the world – which, as the libertarian theorist Murray  Rothbard pointed  out, is essentially a religious impulse – is the real story here. Embarked  on a crusade to remake this country in the name of political correctness, their  millenarian obsession logically extends to the rest of the globe. And Russia  is the leading example of “reactionary” cultural attitudes, one that must be  opposed – by force, if necessary.

I’ve likened this wave of anti-Russian hysteria to McCarthyism, and several  of my readers have objected. They point out that there were plenty of Communists  in the federal government under Franklin Roosevelt, as  the Venona intercepts and the KGB archives reveal. All quite true, but this  misses my point: the important thing to remember about Joe McCarthy and his  effect on our politics is that anti-Russian hysteria led directly to our cold  war foreign policy – a policy that on several occasions had us ready to jump  into the abyss of a nuclear conflagration. McCarthy and his followers – many  of them conservative “isolationists” who had opposed US entry into World War  II – started out by positing that the danger to the country was internal subversion  by a “communist conspiracy.” They ended up as fanatical cold warriors who advocated  confronting the Soviet Union militarily on every front abroad because there  was no way to contain their militant anti-Communism within our borders.

The same process is transforming the America left into the worst warmongers  on the block – with the added impetus of liberal universalism, which fuels and  speeds up this grotesque transformation.

Just as Woodrow Wilson’s crusade to “make the world safe for democracy” impelled  us to enter a war that destroyed European civilization, so the same messianic  impulse is driving American liberals (and their “leftist” fellow travelers)  into the War Party’s camp. There is now a great gaping hole in our political  spectrum, for the anti-interventionist left is no more.

Alex Cockburn  was the last principled leftist of any prominence: when he died, principled  anti-interventionism on the left died with him.

As President Trump seeks rapprochement with Russia, the “left” will move to  block this welcome development. Their domestic political agenda dictates a hard-line  foreign policy stance.

This is very bad news for us here at Antiwar.com. A considerable part of our  audience has always been on the left, including many of our longtime supporters.  As the left dissolves into a Russophobic frenzy, the danger is that we’ll lose  many of these people. It’s a sad demonstration of a  point I’ve often made in this space: that there’s no real wall of separation  between domestic politics and foreign policy. Indeed, the former determines  the latter.

Of course, we’ve been through this before. The presidency of Bill Clinton saw  the defection of the “liberals” from the anti-interventionist camp in droves:  that’s when “humanitarian interventionism” became all the rage in liberal-left  circles. And the Obama years saw the complete evisceration of the organized  antiwar movement, which had largely been a leftist project, as a liberal Democratic  administration overthrew the government of Libya, initiated regime-change in  Syria, and prosecuted our endless “war on terrorism.” Now they’re not only going  AWOL, they’re signing up as the most militant members of the War Party — and  it isn’t pretty.

Antiwar.com isn’t caving in to this ugly trend: far from it. Even  as some alleged “libertarians” are swept  up in this wave of crazed Russophobia, we are standing almost alone against  the tide. Subject neither to Russophobia nor to Trump  Derangement Syndrome, we are holding high the banner of anti-interventionism  – but we can’t hold it up without your support.

These perilous and confusing times have disoriented too many people, who are  torn between their quite justifiable suspicions about the Trump administration  and their anti-interventionist convictions. The political storm over the administration’s  alleged “Russian ties,” as exemplified by the brouhaha over the distinctly un-libertarian  Jeff Sessions, doesn’t help.

We are now coming into the final – and most crucial – phase of our current  fundraising campaign, and this is turning into a test of whether a principled  anti-interventionist movement can survive the Trump era. At a time when Antiwar.com  is needed most, we’re being buffeted by political storms on both the right and  the left. I would venture to say that among our supporters who voted for Trump,  there are not a few who would forget their anti-interventionist views if the  President should call out the troops tomorrow. And, conversely, and as I’ve  shown above, some on the left side of the political spectrum have already  thrown their previous views overboard in the service of their anti-Trump monomania.

Yet  we are more determined than ever to steer a principled course that makes  no concessions to either side. Period.

I’m appealing to you, our readers and supporters, to help us navigate these  turbulent waters. The way you can do that is by supporting this web site with  your tax-deductible donation – and if you’ve been holding back, then now is  the time to contribute. That’s because a group of our most generous (and well-heeled!)  supporters have gotten together to donate matching funds, a grand total of $31,000  – but there’s a catch. We don’t get the money until we can match it with smaller  donations.

Our current fundraising campaign is a test, the results of which will answer  the question “Can a principled anti-interventionist movement survive the Trump  era?” I pray that the answer is a resounding “Yes!” – but we’ll see.

We need a principled nonpartisan antiwar movement now more than ever – so please,  make your contribution today.

[flauntpage]

The Sky is Not Falling

Surprise! Sixers Twitter is a hot mess today.

And Phillies Twitter is sort of a mess, but not nearly as bad.

On the basketball side, I think most of this is overreaction to Brett Brown’s “star hunting” quote, the idea that the general manager-less Sixers were ready to go out and sign a big free agent superstar (LeBron) or trade for one (Kawhi Leonard) to complete the Process and leapfrog Boston as the favorite to win the Eastern Conference.

So when the Spurs traded Kawhi and Danny Green to Toronto for DeMar DeRozan, Jakob Poeltl, and a 1st round draft pick, the reactions were predictable:

“Brett Brown sucks! This team needs a GM!”

“Boston is gonna roll the Sixers in the playoffs again!”

“This team isn’t good enough!”

“No one wants to come here!”

“The Process wasn’t worth it!”

So on and so forth.

But let’s start with the trade itself, which is a Hail Mary for Toronto, who just fired Coach of the Year Dwane Casey because his 59-win team couldn’t beat LeBron James in the postseason. LeBron is now in the Western Conference, the Raps have a new coach, and they just made a risky trade for a guy that doesn’t want to play for them. This is their last chance to get it done, win the East, and have the distinction of getting swept by the Warriors in the finals.

As for the Spurs, Gregg Popovich needs to see the writing on the wall. San Antonio is done. They are not going to compete with the Warriors, Rockets, Thunder, Jazz, and Blazers. A team of LaMarcus Aldridge, DeRozan, Rudy Gay, Pau Gasol, Marco Belinelli, and Dejounte Murray is not gonna do the job. Pop obviously doesn’t wanna rebuild before calling it a career, but this squad is destined for purgatory. It is what it is for one of the greatest coaches of all time.

Now let’s say that Kawhi settles in and actually enjoys playing for Toronto before inevitably leaving at the end of the year. Does this team beat Boston and Philadelphia in the East? –

Kawhi Leonard

Kyle Lowry

Danny Green

CJ Miles

OG Anunoby

Jonas Valanciunas

Delon Wright

Serge Ibaka

Fred VanVleet

I dunno. I really don’t know, but I don’t think the gap between Boston/Toronto/Philly is not as big as everybody thinks. If I had to rank the East right now, I think I’d have Boston at 1, Toronto and Philly at 2a and 2b, and God knows who at four. Indiana? Milwaukee? We’ll see.

Boston is one hell of a team. You’re looking at a group of Kyrie Irving, Gordon Hayward, Al Horford, Jayson Tatum, Jaylen Brown, and more. They’ve got depth, scoring, and defense, especially on the perimeter, which really killed the Sixers last year. On paper, of course you’d say they’re the favorite to win the conference.

But we don’t simulate the season “on paper” or just bitch at each other on Twitter, we actually play the games. There are legitimate questions surrounding that squad. Irving and Hayward coming back moves other people to the bench. Does Tatum or Brown regress at all? Do they make it through the season healthy or suffer more season-ending injuries? None of that is unfair or unreasonable to ask. It’s just naive to think that everything is going to play out the same exact way that it did last year. And that goes for the Sixers, too, who could see one of their stars plateau or not even get close to reaching the pinnacle.

Kawhi Leonards first day in Toronto… pic.twitter.com/5utRY9O2mG

— All Def Digital (@AllDefDigital) July 18, 2018

As a simple exercise, let’s continue with a recap of what the Sixers currently have in the starting lineup:

reigning rookie of the year at point (Ben Simmons)

dynamic all star center (Joel Embiid)

utility knife 3 and D wing (Robert Covington)

veteran pure shooter (JJ Redick)

talented stretch four (Dario Saric)

And the bench:

veteran two-way wing (Wilson Chandler)

#1 overall draft pick from last year (Markelle Fultz)

#16 draft pick from this year (Zhaire Smith)

gritty overachieving point guard (T.J. McConnell)

a bunch of wings that can’t create their own shot, but might improve this year (Furkan Korkmaz, TLC, Justin Anderson)

question marks (Richaun Holmes, Jonah Bolden, Landry Shamet, etc)

I really think a lot of people are undervaluing the concept of year-to-year development. Ben Simmons put up 16/8/8 as a rookie without a jump shot. Embiid played 63 games last year and is going through a full offseason for the first time in his career. Fultz is a guy who showed flashes of brilliance last year and will either be a boom or bust sophomore.

In other league-wide examples, James Harden started as a 12 points per game third option and became a superstar from year two to year four. Same with Paul George, who went from 12/5/6 to 17/7/8 and became the NBA’s Most Improved Player in his third season. You can find all sorts of these success stories.

It’s simply insane to think that players never change, that they are forever what they are. Reading NBA Twitter, you’d think that no one ever improves and that the coaches are idiots, that once they’re “exposed” they just shrivel up and die and never adjust or evolve or learn how to game plan against weaknesses or soft spots.

Beyond individual growth, you’re bringing back a starting five that played together for the first time last season. This group comes into the season with existing chemistry and the understanding of Brown’s system, which allows him to go deeper into his playbook to build off the common horns, dribble hand-off, and pistol looks you saw last year. Maybe they throw in some floppy sets for JJ Redick or evolve the pick and roll game that we didn’t see a lot of last year.

Would Kawhi or LeBron have put you over the top? Maybe, but it’s not the only path to a title. It really isn’t.

Did the Warriors need Kevin Durant to win their first championship? No, they did it with a trio of players they drafted 7th, 11th, and 35th overall. It was a core of in-house talent, developed over the course of a few seasons and complemented with peripheral free agent pieces like Andre Iguodala, who went on to win finals MVP without even starting in each game. That group was good enough to win it all. They only added Durant after losing in 2016 to the Cavaliers, then went on to win two more titles as a bona fide superteam. But the heart of that squad as a nascent powerhouse was a group of organically developed draft picks, not high priced mercenaries.

So why can’t the Sixers do the same thing? If Fultz starts to play like the consensus #1 overall pick, you’re looking at a core that includes a #1 overall pick, a #1 overall pick, and a #3 overall pick. Then you’re looking at Klay Thompson, Kawhi, and Kemba Walker in free agency next season with the expiration of JJ Redick, Amir Johnson, and Jerryd Bayless’s contracts. They essentially get a mulligan and get to try it again next summer. This team absolutely did not have to make a risky trade for a rental just one year removed from a 28-win campaign.

I understand the window is small. I really do. I know Ben Simmons will need to be paid sooner rather than later. Same for Fultz if he pans out. This amount of financial flexibility is not going to hold year over year, which is why it seemed ideal right now for the Sixers to make a splash in free agency. If they don’t turn the corner this season or add a piece next summer, the criticism will be entirely justifiable. I just don’t think we’re there yet.

So please stop with the “sky is falling” mentality. The sky is not falling. The Sixers are in great position to challenge the Celtics and Raptors for the Eastern Conference title. I don’t think anybody is beating the Warriors in the finals, but that’s another story for another day.

  The post The Sky is Not Falling appeared first on Crossing Broad.

The Sky is Not Falling published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[drrobw]

How American Christians Can Break Free from ‘Slaveholder Religion’

It’s been a century and a half since the American Civil War ended, but according to Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, the slaveholder religion of that era has quietly persisted until today. But to understand this development, a history lesson is in order.

In the mid-19th century, Christian abolitionists used the Bible to make a case for racial equality. Plantation owners could not let this stand, so they paid preachers to use the Bible to argue for white supremacy. This oppressive theology is what Wilson-Hartgrove calls “slaveholder religion.”

“After the South lost the Civil War, slavery was abolished, but slaveholder religion never went away,” he says. “It never repented. And it is with us still.”

Not convinced? Neither was Wilson-Hartgrove until he went back to read the many sermons and books from the mid-19th century, which remain in many American theological libraries until today. He was shocked by how familiar they felt. Slaveholder propaganda was eerily similar to the messages propagated by 21st-century conservative white evangelicals.

In Reconstructing the Gospel: Finding Freedom from Slaveholder Religion, Wilson-Hartgrove wrestles with the troubling history and theology held by many believers. But more importantly, he explains what must be done to break free from these oppressive views and spark a more just expression of Christianity in America.

Does Donald Trump promote “slaveholder religion,” in your opinion? If so, how?

The crucial point is that slaveholder religion promotes him. It doesn’t seem that the basic message of Christianity was ever personally appealing to Donald Trump. But candidate Trump discovered the incredible political power of slaveholder religion while attacking America’s first black president.

When researching this book in 2016, I spent a lot of time reading sermons by white Southern preachers during Reconstruction — the brief period when black people had political power after the Civil War. I was struck by how much they sounded like Trump.

The nation was in trouble, Washington was a den of corruption, and somebody needed to rise up and “take our country back.” This was the language of slaveholder religion after abolition. It was all about white supremacy, but it was framed as a moral crusade. Historians call it the “Redemption Movement” because it really was a matter of faith for white Southerners. Just as “Make America Great Again” is a matter of faith for many today.

What about the religious leaders and pastors who have supported and advise Trump? People like Jerry Falwell, Jr., and Paula White and Robert Jeffress? Are they promoting a slaveholder religion?

Yes, but they don’t see it. They think they are standing up for righteousness over and against the liberal media. This is where religion is so powerful. It gives people a capacity to believe in spite of the evidence. Which means you’ll never prove to them that they’re wrong. But I don’t know how to explain Trumpvangelicals apart from white Christianity’s long history of justifying and defending white supremacy. How else do you reconcile “America first” with “the last shall be first”?

Still, I don’t want to let the rest of us off too easy. As I talk to folks in churches around the country, most people find Trumpvangelicals to be extreme. Falwell and Jeffress are on TV a lot, but Christianity today has distanced itself from them. They’re hardly guiding lights for most evangelicals.

But another pattern of slaveholder religion is to separate personal faith from political engagement. If you’re not going to fight for white hegemony, slaveholder religion would like you to stay focused on personal piety and compassion ministries — to not be “too political.” So we also have to face the silence of white moderates as a vestige of slaveholder religion. It’s not just the Trump defenders who got us here. It’s also all the good Christian people who did nothing when a man who was endorsed by the KKK became a candidate for president.

Why is it that a white man is writing a book about “slaveholder religion” anyway? Shouldn’t we be lifting up minority voices in this conversation rather than speaking on behalf of the marginalized?

Yes. But I’m not speaking for anyone else in this book. I’m confessing my — and my people’s — complicity in slaveholder religion. And I’m trying to share the good news that another way of being Christian is possible. Even for white folks.

Twenty years ago, when I was trying to get a foot into the world of the Christian Right, I hit a dead end. I was nauseated by the hypocrisy and moral bankruptcy of it all when I saw it up close. And I didn’t know what to do.

I’m still a Christian today because I was invited into the black-led freedom movement and learned the long history of another way of being Christian in America. I showed up like Saul — a blind man who only knew I’d heard the voice of Jesus ask, “Why are you persecuting me?” A lot of this book is about what I learned from the Ananiases who shepherded me into beloved community. They are the ones who took me by the shoulders, looked me in the eyes, and said, “You have to talk to white people about this. Maybe they’ll be able to hear it from you.”

When writing about your escape from slaveholder religion, you call yourself a “man torn in two.” What does this mean?

That the line between the Christianity of the slaveholder and the Christianity of Christ runs through all of us.

In order to tell the truth about myself, I’ve had to learn to say two things that seem to contradict one another: first, that the people who raised me and taught me to love Jesus gave me an incredible gift, and second, that those same people also passed on to me the habits and assumptions of slaveholder religion.

Until we’re honest about this, we can’t be saved. But as Martin Luther said, only the gospel that kills gives life. Once we stop trying to justify ourselves and deal with the hard truth, the Bible comes to life. Every chapter in this book ends with a rereading of a gospel story. The Bible comes to life when we release it from the bondage of slaveholder religion. I’m a preacher. I want people to hear and believe this good news.

How do church communities — often unaware — promote racial blindness and even racism? 

By telling us stories that make us feel righteous about our segregation. One example: I’ve come to see how profoundly it shaped my understanding of the world that I learned rap music was bad music. Evil, even.

I mean, any white guy who grew up in rural North Carolina heard country music on the radio and bluegrass at the family reunion. That’s our culture. But it took religion to teach me that someone else’s culture was sin. I was a minister at the local black church in my neighborhood before one of our youth pulled me aside 15 years ago and said, “You need to listen to Tupac.” It wasn’t just about the music. He was inviting me to understand how he saw the world.

Racial habits are the hundreds of little ways we perpetuate systemic racism every day just by living the way we’ve always lived. Churches aren’t alone in reinforcing these habits, but the fact that the church remains the most segregated institution in America suggests that slaveholder religion still holds more sway than most of us want to believe.

You’re a progressive Christian and so is Rev. William Barber, who wrote your foreword. What about your conservative brothers and sisters? Do you see them fighting the same battle or are progressives carrying all the weight?

I think most people in the media understand “progressive Christian” as a political label. Folks who believe everyone deserves health care, a living wage, and equal protection under the law are labeled “progressive.” If Christian faith compels you to believe that, you’re a “progressive Christian.”

But Franklin Graham says progressives are atheists. Slaveholder religion makes racial politics a matter of faith. It wasn’t enough to argue that we didn’t have the money to pay for Obama’s policies or that they didn’t stand up to constitutional scrutiny. For Graham and others, efforts to expand democracy and access in America were an assault on God’s order. His 50-state “Decision America” tour in 2016 was really about framing “Make America Great Again” as a 21st-century Redemption movement.

I don’t think most people who send their monthly donation to the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association think they are supporting a political movement. They want people to know the love of Jesus. But their religion has been hijacked by extremists. And we’re all going to have to decide which side we’re on. We need a lot more people who think of themselves as moderate or conservative to stand up and say, “What’s happening in our name is extreme, and we’re not going to allow it anymore.”

Some people would acknowledge that the problems you address are real, but they might critique your tone. For example, I can imagine some would say that phrases like “slaveholder religion” are extreme and inflammatory and unnecessarily divisive. How would you respond to such criticisms?

It’s hard to speak softly when the house is on fire. When the people you love are in danger, you holler. Of course, a lot of people don’t feel this way because their families aren’t being torn apart by deportations. Their kids aren’t getting shot by the police. But this is my family. These are my kids. I’ve been to too many funerals.

James Baldwin said, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” American Christianity hasn’t faced our legacy of slaveholder religion. Ultimately, I don’t know whether white people, as a group, are willing to change. But I’m going to do everything I can to make sure we face this. I’m doing it because I love white people. But I’m also doing it because, when the house is burning down, there’s no way to just save your room. We’re all in this together, whether we want to be or not.

This modified interview originally appeared at RNS.

How American Christians Can Break Free from ‘Slaveholder Religion’ was originally published on Dr. Robin Weinstein