#now im going to say the most insufferable words in the english language:

[nocaptainonthisship]

[jewish-gay-elves]

What Will You Do? Once You Have Me

Zevran's got a lot on his mind, Daolin's not the best at figuring out whats on Zevran's mind, and they're both too afraid to actually say what they're thinking.

Words: 1602, Chapters:1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of the Daolin Tabris: The Family You Don't Choose series

Fandoms: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age (Video Games) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Zevran Arainai,Male Warden, Male Tabris, Daolin Tabris Relationships: Zevran Arainai/Male Tabris, Zevran Arainai/Male Warden, Zevran Arainai/Daolin Tabris Additional Tags: The prompt was lockpicks and quickly goes off topic, but also this was sitting for literal years so im glad to have it done

As the lockpick broke, Zevran could almost feel the Warden’s little huffs of laughter from behind him. He didn’t even look behind him, and could imagine the exact look gracing Warden Tabris’ face. The Warden himself was a rogue! Zevran had no idea why he insisted on letting Zevran try to pick the lock first, only for him to come up behind him, touch his elbow and say those insufferable words.

    “Here, let me try,” Tabris said, his fingertips a light fluttering touch against Zevran’s arm as he bent down to the same level. Zevran barely resisted rolling his eyes as he abruptly stood up and stepped away in order to give Tabris all the room he needed. Within moments, the lock was easily discarded as Tabris opened the chest. Zevran could only huff and look away as the Warden went through the contents of the chest, taking and discarding as he saw fit.

    “Do you want these?” Tabris asked, catching Zevran’s attention again. He held out a few flasks, presumably filled with deathroot extract or something similar. Zevran just nodded and took the offered items, opening one of them to get a waft and figure out what it was for sure, and how strong it may be. Daolin grinned at the sight, seemingly forgetting himself before abruptly turning to their other companions after a moment.

    Zevran didn’t know what to make of the Warden’s behaviour, over the last few weeks he’d been getting increasingly familiar with Zevran. Little touches, grinning haplessly, offering Zevran things. As if Zevran couldn’t tell that the feelings swarming his chest were familiar and unwanted, but was powerless to stop. As if Zevran wasn’t entirely at his mercy, as he already had sworn himself to the Warden’s service. Something that Zevran himself was actually struggling with the concept of recently. What would this Warden do once the Blight was over, Archdemon dead and civil war ceased? What would he do with Zevran?

    His thoughts were broken up with Sten’s fierce battle cry, forcing his attention back to whomever had foolishly tried to sneak up on their group. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tabris jump back, pulling an arrow from his quiver as he moved, and Morrigan began to cast some nasty hex.

-

    Thoughts of his relationship with Tabris, whatever it may be, didn’t resurface until much later, when they were done with their tasks and had come back to their small camp. Dinner had been made and divided up, thankfully it was Leliana’s turn and not Alistair’s, so while Zevran definitely didn’t like Orlesian cuisine, at least it wasn’t Ferelden. Or whatever Alistair swore was Ferelden and not just poor cooking.

    As he pondered his dinner, he could see the Warden making his usual rounds of the camp. It was becoming an increasingly familiar routine for him to check in with each of his companions, sometimes it was a quick check in, other times he spent at least an hour talking to someone. One thing Zevran couldn’t figure out however, was why Tabris always, always, left Zevran himself for last.

    Some time later, Daolin finally made his way over to where Zevran was sitting. He sat himself down next to Zevran, stretching out his legs and groaning obscenely. Rather than amused by it, like he normally would be, Zevran just found himself getting frustrated.

    “I’ve a question, if I may,” he told the Warden, looking over at him, staring him down. Tabris looked only a small amount startled by this but just nodded for Zevran to continue.

    “Well here is the thing: I swore an oath to serve you, yes? And I understand the quest you’re on and all of this is very fine and well. My question pertains to what you intend to do with me once this business is over with. As a point of curiosity,” Zevran said, his throat feeling a little tight. Daolin just sort of stared back for a moment, thinking it over, and Zevran could see some different emotions pass through his face, confusion, understanding, and sadness? Finally Tabris leaned back and looked up at the stars before answering.

    “You could go, anywhere. If you wanted.” Tabris said quietly. Zevran felt the strange tightness start to unravel, just a little bit, and another part of his heart tightened at the words. But Zevran needed to continue asking, needed to be sure.

    “Anywhere is quite a wide choice of options, my warden. One simply assumes that, once your Grey Warden business is finished, you would have no need of an assassin to follow you about. Am I wrong?” Zevran asked, pushing for something, even if he didn’t quite know what answer he wanted.

    “I’ll not hold you to any oath, Zevran. You could leave whenever you like,” Daolin said, looking back at Zevran directly, holding his gaze. The bulk of the thick constricting feeling in Zevran’s chest smoothed away. Tabris looked honest, and hurt at the same time. Did Daolin feel just as hurt about the idea of Zevran going away? Why did Zevran feel hurt about the idea of being sent away? Zevran blinked quickly, breaking their gaze and coming back to himself enough to respond.

    “Oh? Well, I made that oath willingly, but if that’s how you see it, then all the better. For the moment, it’s still best that I stay. Considering my stance with the Crows and all,” Zevran finished, feeling like he suddenly was speaking too quickly, unsure of the thoughts in his own head. Daolin looked relieved to hear that Zevran would stay, but his face became guarded at the mention of the Crows. Something about his face, slightly turned away from Zevran, prompted the assassin to continue.

    “But let’s assume that I didn’t desire to leave, when the time came. What then?” he asked, his voice sounding much more sure than he felt. Tabris looked back up at him then, expression still mostly guarded, but something else was there too, not that Zevran could tell what it meant.

    “Why wouldn’t you go, if you had the chance?” Daolin asked back, clearly trying to not sway Zevran in any way. Zevran only got frustrated by the tactic.

    “You know, you shouldn’t answer a question with a question. It’s rude.” he said, smirking at the other man, trying to lighten the mood a little bit. “I suppose, I don’t entirely know what I could go back to at this point. Unless something is done about the Crows, I will likely be forced to evade them for the rest of my life, however long that may be. Antiva will always be in my heart, but I don’t suppose it would be very smart for me to go back and just try to be a fisherman or something. Can you even imagine?” Zevran said, smiling lightly for Daolin’s sake.

    “You’ve spent so much of your life being told what to do, I can only imagine you doing exactly what you want to do,” Daolin replied, almost sounding pitying. Zevran felt his hackles raise at the comment, he knows Daolin most likely didn’t mean anything by it, but he feels defensive all the same.

    “And I suppose you have spent your whole life deciding things? Deciding to stay in the Alienage and get married off by your only close relative? Deciding to get conscripted to the Wardens after killing the Arl’s son?” Zevran questions, his voice raising only the slightest bit. He immediately wishes he could take it back, as he knows these are still raw wounds. But he hates that Tabris wants to pity him for the hand he was dealt, regardless of the fact that they were all dealt shitty hands. Daolin’s eyes widen at the questions Zevran poses to him, and seems to realize what he said and looks properly admonished.

    “You’re right, I imagine not many of us really do have the choices we like to think that we do. I apologize for my comment,” Tabris said, turning his head back to look back at the stars. “I just find myself hard pressed for any reason why you would want to stay,” he finishes, still staring at the sky. Zevran can see there is a tightness in Tabris’ jaw, keeping him from saying something he is clearly thinking about. Zevran himself is feeling a bit too raw as well at the moment, and decides that they both have probably had enough of these thoughts for the night.

    “Well, it is good to know what my options might be. But that is for another time. For now, it is late, I am exhausted and you should definitely be exhausted,” Zevran deflects, standing up and stretching slightly. He goes to offer a hand to Tabris to help him stand up and just gets looked at by his Warden for a few moments. Zevran is surprised by some of the emotions he sees cross Daolin’s face, disappointment, amusement, and something like fondness? It’s tender and leaves Zevran breathless for a moment, enough so that he doesn’t want to actually name what he knows he saw on Daolin’s face.

    After hesitating long enough, Daolin finally reaches and takes the offered hand, grasping tightly as Zevran helped pull him upright. Daolin uses the momentum and surprise in order to land a chaste kiss on Zevran’s cheek, whispering a good night to him, before brushing past towards his own tent. Zevran can only watch him go, wondering how hard it would be to leave once this is all done, or how much harder it would be to stay.

[pynchvinsky]

Hi! Love your writing! Are u still accepting prompts? I was thinking of kandreil getting together, but instead of kevin joining andreil, it would be neil joining kandrew?

hi!! thank you sm!! yeah im accepting prompts, however im being really slow with them for which im SORRY 

i really feel like i should have spread this out into a longer fic but i knew i never would so

“Tell me no.”

Neil’s heart was racing, he could still feel Andrew’s lips on his. He didn’t know kissing could do this to him. He didn’t know Andrew could take all the breath out of him until he felt like his only source of oxygen was from Andrew’s lips, desperate for more. His hands were gripping Andrew’s coat like it was the only thing to stop him falling off the side of the building, knuckles cold and fingertips numb.

“Let go,” Andrew said. “I am not doing this with you right now.”

“Because of Kevin?” Neil asked perceptively. No one knew about Andrew and Kevin, but Neil had spent enough time with the two at night practices to figure it out, no matter how oblivious he usually was to these things. Thinking about Kevin filled Neil with guilt, he wondered if Kevin would be hurt or jealous or angry, he couldn’t imagine anyone having any claim over Andrew.

“Kevin knows he has no say in what I do,” Andrew said calmly before taking a long drag of his cigarette. Neil watched him blow out of the smoke, he should no better than to wait for Andrew to elaborate on his statements. He should have let it go, forgotten the kiss and gone back to his dorm. He didn’t.

“Why then?” He asked, then took a cigarette from the box.

Andrew didn’t even glance at him, he was still staring out over the campus. “Because you’re too stupid to tell me no,” Andrew said distantly.

“And you don’t want me to tell you yes?”

“This isn’t yes. This is a nervous breakdown. I know the difference even if you don’t. I won’t be like them. I won’t let you let me be.”  

The words stuck in Neil’s head, his thoughts shouting over each other before he could string together a sentence. “The next time someone says you’re soulless, I might have to fight them.”

“Ninety-two percent,” he said blankly, “going on ninety-three.”

A lying smile pulled at Neil’s lips, but he didn’t let Andrew see. He wasn’t happy, or amused, just right. Satisfied that he had figured out that Andrew had a heart, even if he wasn’t using it.

“Hey,” he said, trying and failing to get Andrew’s attention. He tried again, “thank you.”

“Go away before I push you off the side.”

“Do it. I’d drag you with me,” Neil repeated himself before walking back to his dorm.

Neil had barred any kind of attraction, disregarded the thoughts because he knew he couldn’t ever experience it. He thought about Andrew, how he was so shut off to the world, how he hated being touched or letting anyone in any other way. He thought about how whatever was going on with him and Kevin worked, with what happened to Andrew- how can it be okay for him? Paranoia was enough to put Neil off the idea of intimacy for years, he couldn’t imagine coming back from that kind of trauma.

He pushed all these thoughts away, dismissed because it was unlikely anything would come from kissing Andrew. He had said it himself, that he’s not stupid enough to go that way. Neil didn’t understand it then but he saw it now. Andrew confessed his hatred for Neil as unhesitatingly as reading off the time of day, and just as frequently. He also would never want to touch him. Neil wondered if he ever let Kevin touch him, he doubted it highly before his brain started suggesting all kinds of things that didn’t necessarily involve Kevin touching Andrew. The image sent Neil dizzy. He tried to push it to the back of his mind, something he was practiced in.

He knew he shouldn’t dwell on the idea of kissing Andrew, he knew it wasn’t safe. He’d made a mistake by joining the Foxes, now he was getting himself caught up in some loveless love triangle. Whatever it was, he should stop. He knew he should stop, he told himself he should stop. He didn’t.

A week later, he was sat in Kevin’s room watching Vermont’s most recent game. Neil tried his best to take notes, but stole quick glances at Kevin, who was occupied with the game. His eyes darted across the tiny screen to follow the ball, the blue light flickering in the reflection on them. Eventually Neil couldn’t take it anymore, and he blurted out his confession in French, “Andrew kissed me.”

“Neil. For one, what the fuck? And two, why would I care?” Kevin squinted his eyes as he looked away from the screen. He spoke back in English and his words were sharp, but lies nonetheless.

“You got defensive really quickly there,” Neil noted. Kevin feigned an oblivious look, before Neil sighed. “I know about you two.”

“You don’t know a thing about us.” Kevin said, his tone low as he switched back to French, uncomfortable telling the truth in a language Nicky could understand and overhear, as unlikely as it was.

“But I know you’re a thing,” Neil retorted, unhesitating.

Kevin was ready to insist it wasn’t a thing, but he instead addressed the elephant in the room. The elephant in the room that was stomping on his heart. He’s never thought he had feelings for Andrew, but he didn’t want to get dropped for Neil, as inevitable as it felt to him. “What happened?”

“He said you had no say in what he does, but I still thought you should know. I knew he wouldn’t tell you if you didn’t ask.” Kevin nodded slowly when Neil spoke, but his thoughts were going a mile a minute.

“He’s right,” Kevin admitted, “so are you, he didn’t tell me.”

“Are you upset?” Neil asked. He bit his lip, cursing it for ever letting itself anywhere near Andrew Minyard.

Kevin’s voice was hoarse and abrupt, “fuck!” Neil gave him a bewildered look. “Do you think I would have gone on this long with Andrew if something like this upset me?”

“How long has it gone on?”

“Why? Jealous?” Kevin chuckled dryly, building up a confident facade.

“Curious,” Neil offered, not answering the question.

“Aren’t you just,” Kevin mused. Neil raised an eyebrow, hoping for Kevin to answer his question. “I don’t know, uh. Nine months maybe, it started last year.”

“What started?”

“Very curious,” Kevin looked at Neil, who was almost blushing with embarrassment.

Neil didn’t mean to sound so intrusive, but he wanted to understand what it was between Kevin and Andrew. It was all too complex for him, made him glad he’d never let himself have a relationship. However, Kevin didn’t hesitate to explain. His confidence wasn’t even a facade anymore, seeing Neil so lost just made him want to tease him further.

“We fuck, that most of it.” Kevin said so blatantly. As convenient as the straightforward answers were, it wasn’t familiar and made Neil uneasy. “Nothing you need to worry about getting in the way of.”

This didn’t make Neil any less confused, but they went back to watching their game and Neil’s heart eventually slid back down his throat back into place.

Thankfully, Nicky came to Neil’s rescue and they went to the store to buy ice cream. Neil liked when Nicky spoke, his anecdotes and gushing over Erik were fast paced and enthusiastic enough to let Neil forget any of his own thoughts. Kevin hadn’t texted, which didn’t surprise Neil.

Back at the dorm, the situation was not so easily forgotten. Andrew got up from the couch and walked into Kevin’s dormroom. He walked in to see Kevin watching another game on his laptop, so made his way over to close the lid of the laptop. Kevin looked up at him, unimpressed.

“We’ve got at least half an hour,” he stated. “Yes or no?”

“What about Neil?” Kevin questioned.

“He went to the store with Nicky,” Andrew said, resting his knees on the bed in front of Kevin.

Kevin shuffled himself upwards, “you know that’s not what I mean, why didn’t you tell me?”

“You know I don’t belong to you, Kevin.”

“I know that, and that’s why you should be able to tell me,” he countered.

“You never asked,” Andrew shrugged.

A short laugh burst from Kevin, “he knew you’d say that.”

“So you see why I like him?” Andrew raised an eyebrow.

Kevin hummed, Neil picked up on Andrew’s mannerisms quickly, so perceptive when it came to anything but sex and relationships. And of course, Kevin saw why Andrew liked him. He was endearingly loud-mouthed, an insufferable liar, and just as messed up as they were. He was a problem that Andrew couldn’t figure out how to solve.

“Trading me in for a younger model, huh?” He leaned up towards Andrew as he spoke, close enough into his personal space that he could feel Kevin’s words as warmth on his cheek.

“Hmm, tempting but no. I want you both,” he said as he cupped Kevin’s jaw with his hands.

“Greedy,” Kevin smiled toothily before Andrew could kiss him.

“Do you want him as much as I do?” He said, ignoring Kevin’s teasing. His eyes were dark as he looked down at Kevin’s lips.

Kevin thought about Neil. About his slender but strong frame, his wide and staring blue eyes, he thought about how flustered Neil got when Kevin talked about sex. He imagined how he must’ve felt when Andrew kissed him, and let his mind wander elsewhere. “Time’s ticking away, only 27 minutes until they get back now,” Kevin said with a smirk.

“You don’t last that long,” Andrew teased him, shuffling back to pull down Kevin’s pants and underwear. He wasted no time is swallowing Kevin’s hardening length, pulling his mouth up until his cock flopped back down onto his stomach. “Call him.”

“What?” Kevin said, voice weak in want.

“Call Neil, tell him what I’m doing to you,” Andrew explained, rubbing Kevin’s balls with the palm of his hand before wrapping his hand around his cock.

Kevin grabbed his phone from his bedside table, opening it. He was hovering over Neil’s number when he looked at Andrew. “You don’t have to, but wouldn’t he like to hear all the pretty sounds you make.”

Biting his lip, Kevin clicked the number and put the phone to his ear. It rang only twice before Neil picked up, “hey, did you decide what ice cream you want?”

Before Kevin could reply, Andrew licked a circle around his head. “Fuck,” he whispered. Half because he forgot he was supposed to call anyway, half because of the fleeting wet contact. “Strawberry.”

“What are you doing?” Andrew muttered, lips still pressing sloppy kisses up the side of Kevin’s cock.

“Neil wants to know what ice cream I want,” Kevin explained shakily.

“Am I interrupting something?” Neil said under his breath.

Kevin’s words came out as a moan when Andrew took him deep into his throat again, “not at all.” Neil didn’t say anything, but there was no way even he hadn’t worked out what was going on. Nonetheless, Kevin explained it to him. “Andrew’s sucking me off right now.”

“Oh,” was all Neil said.

“We wanted you to hear,” Kevin’s breathing was heavy down the phone, the image was getting Neil hot. “Do you wanna?”

“Yes.”

He glanced nervously to where Nicky was inspecting the fridges for beer. He put the phone to his side and walked over to him. “Kevin says he wants strawberry. I’m gonna go wait in the car, this light is killing my head.”

“Yeah, sure, dude. That’s cool,” Nicky nodded.

Once he was out of the store and in the car, he put the phone back to his ear. “Are you still there?”

“Yeah,” Kevin breathed. “Fuck, Neil. You know Andrew is so good with his mouth? I’d love to watch him blow you, make you moan like he does to me. It’s so good.”

Neil listened to Kevin’s hitched breaths turn into desperate groans, “I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“We know,” Kevin replied instantly, “but, and he’ll hate me for telling you this, Andrew can be so patient, so soft. We can teach you.”

“You’re already training me every night, you’re going to have your hands full,” Neil joked.

Kevin moaned, “every night.”

“Fuck,” Neil said, his cock was getting hard and Nicky was almost at the checkout. Kevin was practically chanting Andrew’s name, which wasn’t helping. He adjusted in his seat, hoping it would make him more comfortable but instead brought more friction to his cock and made him gasp.

“You’re not touching yourself in the car, are you?” Kevin asked, starting a laugh that fizzled out into a whine.

“Not in my damn car, you’d better not be,” Andrew came up for breath to say.

“I’m close, don’t stop,” Kevin begged. Neil didn’t think he’d hear Kevin Day beg, and definitely didn’t think he’d find it so hot.

Neil explained himself, but also indulged the two in their game, “I’m not touching myself. I’m just so hard and I moved, fuck, I was gonna take any friction I could get.”

Kevin broke out into a wide smile upon hearing Neil admit that just hearing him and made him hard. He was too close to reply, so instead let himself moan into the speaker. Andrew was sucking at a slow pace to keep Kevin from coming too soon, being held at the edge was perfectly overwhelming. Until he was coming onto Andrew’s tongue.

He was still in the daze of his orgasm when he heard Neil say, “Andrew, we’re literally leaving now! You’ll get your ice cream soon.” And then the line beeped to signify that Neil had hung up.

Nicky smiled cautiously, “oh no, is he hangry?”

Neil resisted the temptation to respond with he’s already eaten. Instead he opted to just laugh and say, “we should probably hurry, I’m worrying for Kevin’s safety.”

When they got back, Kevin’s bedroom door was closed and Andrew was sat on a beanbag staring at the horror game he was playing with disinterest, as if nothing had happened. Nicky dished out the ice cream, which was enough to coax Kevin out of his room before looking for something to watch. Having reminded himself he only owned movies that he and his cousins had seen countless times, he declared, “there’s nothing to watch. I’m going to scour Matt’s collection.”

Once he was out of the door, Neil immediately began talking. “So, when you said you don’t like being touched, that means you’re okay touching other people?”

“If you’re asking if I’ll get you off, I think you got your answer earlier,” Andrew said, leaning his head back slightly.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, but I don’t want to ignore it just because it’s new. So are you completely off-limits or are there any safe zones?” Neil asked, glancing from Andrew to Kevin, who was stood behind them.

“What are you hoping for, coordinates?”

“I’m hoping to know where the lines are before I cross them,” Neil said, “but I’m open to drawing a map on you if you want to loan me a marker. That’s not a bad idea.”

“Everything about this is a bad idea,” Andrew said. Letting one boy in was something, letting another in was a death wish. As much as he hated people in his personal space, he never wanted to let either of them out of his reach. He wanted to protect them, but it was becoming more than that, and that was a problem. That wasn’t what mattered now, it wasn’t what he’d let either of them know.

This would remain physical, it was safe that way. Andrew knew how to repress his feelings. For months he’d been pretending that he didn’t care about Kevin, and he’d do it to Neil too. But it was becoming for difficult now he didn’t have the medication to numb the world. He wouldn’t let himself be hurt.

“I’m still waiting for an answer.”

“I’m still waiting for a yes or no I actually believe,” Andrew returned.

“Yes.”

Neil lurched forward to Andrew, close enough for Andrew to close the gap, he glanced to Kevin and motioned for him to come closer. Andrew leaned in and kissed Neil, testing the waters first with a soft, slow kiss. Once Neil fell into the rhythm, Andrew pushed back against his lips. Neil was on fire, he had been so starved of intimacy, now Andrew was so close to him, kissing him hard.

Andrew pulled away suddenly, but it wasn’t long before Kevin’s hand was sliding delicately up Neil’s cheek, thumb resting on his tattoo. “Is this okay?” He asked.

“Yes,” Neil choked out. Kevin kissed him, open-mouthed and dirty and running his hands through Neil’s hair. He started kissing at Neil’s neck, making him breath sharply through his teeth. When his eyes fluttered open, he saw Andrew watching them intently, something rarely seen on Andrew’s face. He wondered how the particularly complex part of his life that was his sexually must be such a raw point to him, he wondered if he liked it so much because it could make him feel something. Or if he enjoyed the control he could have over Kevin and Neil.

He didn’t have time to wonder, Nicky would be back any minute. He enjoyed the moment while he could, Andrew’s hazel eyes bore into him before Kevin reconnected their lips and kissed him. The moment lasted forever, he was so lost in it all and falling apart with every second. Neil chased Kevin’s lips desperately when when pulled away. He was so far gone and all he wanted to do was get closer to Kevin, to keen up into him and kiss him until morning.

Then Nicky knocked on the locked door. Andrew stood up to answer it, stopping to lean down and kiss Neil one last time. “We can continue this another day if you’d like,” he whispered, holding Neil’s already mussed up hair.

“Hell yes,” Neil panted. Kevin chuckled quietly at him before moving away to another beanbag chair. Andrew was already unlocking the door and Neil only just had time to pull himself together before Nicky strode in shouting movie titles he’d never heard. He ignored whatever trash they ended up watching, content to his own thoughts and pinching quick looks at Kevin and Andrew.